#a little less trauma
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Glances 🌸
#qsmp fanart#qsmp foolish#qsmp vegetta#fooligetta#qsmp cellbit#qsmp roier#qsmp leonarda#foolish gamers fanart#vegetta777 fanart#based on the scene where cellbit is saying his vows and vegetta glanced to foolish and leo#and it looked like he was giving leo a little head pat :’)#BRUH JUST… VEGETTA CONSTANTLY GLANCING AT FOOLISH THROUGHOUT THE CEREMONY#AND FOOLISH LOOKING BACK#WITH REASSURING SMILES AND SOFT WORDS BC EVEN THOUGH HE DOESNT KNOW 100% OF VEGETTA’S WEDDING TRAUMAS…#HE KNOWS THAT VEGETTA IS FEELING NERVOUS AND HE DOES WHAT HE CAN TO MAKE HIM LESS NERVOUS#like when slimecicle objected during the wedding… and everyone basically stood to see/try to help#foolish instead stayed seated and reassured and comforted his family but mainly vegetta that things were gonna be ok#sorry for the brain rot in the tags bUT THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPPPYY… it’ll be their turn soon. trust.#okay thanks bye 👍
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ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
#i dont want to know what it says about me but i love traumatic misunderstandings?#thing like thinking the other is sh’ing or has an ed or in this case pushed the other beyond their limits#i think its the knowledge that its not true and the love or trust of the souple will win out above the guilt or fear#even less severe ones like thinking the other is mentally ill when they actually time traveled or can see ghosts or whatever#i just really like misunderstandings that have actual weight to them#tw for ghosts comic backstory#but ghost surviving roba and the hell he put him through only to be terrified of being like him? oh that shit Hits#like ghost knows hes fucked up he knows he has trauma and he knows he likes killing people a little too much#but him being scared of that twisting into him becoming like the people that hurt him? very interesting very painful#and him ever thinking that he did that to /johnny/? it would destroy him#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#we’re a team. ghost team#save post#ghoap#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#cod mwii
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Why do people always write fics about Christine and Erik marrying, yet never have him take her last name. LET HIM HAVE A NAME YOU COWARDS! LET CHRISTINE HAVE A FAMILY AGAIN!
#not even an erikstine shipper#cmon people#if you're going to do fluff actually let Christine be a character instead of having her be a comfort device with all her backstory erased#also Christine needs comforting#I'm talking therapy but a moonlit trauma dumping sesh is the best we've got in the victorian era#I need Erik to indulge in marital bliss LIKE HE GOD DAMN ASKED FOR#I want walks in the park#I want him delighting in the stupid things like coming home to someone#or forehead kisses#or cooking her breakfast#fuck#I'm going insane#don't make me write erikstine I hate them#I love them#I hate them a little less than I love them#but not by much#phantom of the opera#Gaston leroux
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This is just my own interpretation, and I very much do not say that other reads are wrong or that people shouldn't write romantic/sexual qijiu fic, which I've read plenty of and is great, but
I think it's also valid to read Yue Qingyuan and Shen Jiu's relationship as being neither romantic nor sexual
they are still 100% each other's most precious person but in an entirely platonic way. This read to me mostly comes from the fact that their bond -- which was so strong that the splintering of it kicked off a sequence of events that led to the downfall of their sect and arguably to the end of the world -- formed in their childhood on the streets, before either of them had gone through puberty. And, critically, although they met again when they became teenagers and then adults, their relationship never advanced in any kind of positive direction after that.
I don't think Shen Qingqiu was Yue Qingyuan's white moonlight, or the one he got away. I think he was the one he couldn't save, and the inability to save him hollowed Yue Qingyuan out. It was a wound that was inflicted early enough that it took up half his world, and only grew as he did. I think you don't have to be romantically or sexually interested in someone to love them enough to be willing to die for them.
I think you can get a valid read of the situation that Yue Qi and Shen Jiu's relationship was never romantic, let alone sexual.
#svsss#platonic soulmates send tweet#mind you I think you also could play in all sorts of fun directions starting from this basis#what if Shen Qingqiu's distrust of Yue Qingyuan was based in part that *he* thought Yue Qingyuan desired him sexually#and that tripped off all his traumas#what if romantic interest was something that could have grown if they'd ever reconciled (but they never did)#what if after Shen Jiu's death and Shen Yuan's arrival on the scene#Yue Qingyuan's feelings began to change to something less platonic#and he can't understand why#or what if it doesn't. what if yue qingyuan is never a romantic rival at all.#what if literally all he wants is to be shen qingqiu's big brother.#and he doesn't get that until his beloved little brother is dead
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the fact that the archheart took selena because he loved her and wanted to give her peace, and in the process left her suspended in an eternal static torment because he doesn't understand how something as fragile as a mortal soul works feels like a summary of the good intentions/bad long term outcome situation with godly soul custody. it makes sense that the gods would end up keeping some of their special followers! the first mortals to get in tight with the gods probably asked for it! the ego death of proper reincarnation is terrifying compared to staying up late hanging out with your buddy pelor. asmodeus and the hells aren't being half as kind about it yet the core motive remains—that hoarding instinct to keep what you love(or hate) and never let it go.
but you and i aren’t meant to be eternal. the kryn use anamnesis to ensure the continuity of self through endless lifetimes and they’re still losing themselves to it. selena was turned into a nighmarish human-faced star because the god she made out of metal thought that they could understand each other and she hung there in his domain burning, her last wish forever repeating on her lips, for a thousand years until he could release her. mortals don’t want to fully die and gods don’t want to let them go but nobody can stay in their frozen crystalline palace of eternity forever. eventually everything in the Real gets to change.
#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#critical role#the archheart#selena erenves#‘reincarnation is totally good and fine’ NO it’s scary!#there’s a reason so many reincarnation based afterworlds fixate on either a permanent or temporary escape from it#or ways to hack your way through the cycle#people are obsessed with the idea of their discrete selfhood continuing#they probably begged the gods to be little pearls on sarenae’s beach or what have you#but imagine that life after ten thousand years of it#you just….. are#frozen in that static wholeness surrounded by the soft encouraging light#even if you didn’t end in unimaginable trauma like selena that’s not a good long term#the melting Deanna describes is at least a partial mercy but it doesn’t fix the whole problem#because now you’ve just got soul soup#slopping around the divine realms#less torturous but still… unfulfilled#and although the cast/matt don’t focus on it there are nondenominational options the raven queen shepherds people too#Aabria has said laerynn is probably in the astral sea#imagine a millennia as a tiny helpless soul buffeted by a storm of fever dreams searching for friend
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I think if marcille opened her mind a little beyond her mild butchphobia she'd honestly find postcanon more masc-presenting Falin SO hot like... Falin travelling the world and bringing her gifts from faraway countries, climbing in through her window late at night upon return to see her before anyone else. Literally the prince of Marcille's dreams if only she could see it. She's not quite there yet but she'll get it eventually I believe in her.
#dungeon meshi#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#let's be clear Falin is not butch YET but she could be and I think she wants to#also marcille doesn't really hate butches she just has the elf-typical predisposition to femininity generally#and falin-resembling-laios trauma specifically#but at the end of canon we see her aware of how tightly she's been holding onto falin and ready to let go a little#not love her less! just... not try to shield or baby her anymore#and so i'm confident she'll make peace with the gender thing too and WHEN SHE DOES... ohohoho#marcille is about to experience attraction in shrimp colours
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911 LONE STAR REWATCH 2024 -> MY FAVORITE SCENES | TK antagonizing the firefighters in 2.07 Displaced
#911 lone star#911lsedit#911 lone star rewatch 2024#episode: s02e07 displaced#tk strand#paul strickland#mateo chavez#marjan marwani#my gifs#i miss these goofy little moments of them all teasing each other!!!#give me more FUN firefam in s5 pls and less trauma dump episodes#im officially just posting random rewatch sets out of order the rules dont apply here
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the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.
(gestures vaguely) twissy.
#I LIKE THIS ABOUT HIM. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THAT. I like this. its a very good flaw. its very consistent.#its there in all iterations of him (that i’ve seen)#in early episodes with rose he’ll get angry and emotionally withdrawn when she pokes at his trauma. and he knows that it’ll work because in#her own words: don’t argue with the designated driver.#he does it to jack like. a lot in utopia. his judgment only has so much sway over jack because jack is Obsessed with him and he knows that.#jack unsettles him. he uses that control to feel less unsettled. especially when he can’t do it to the actual threat of that finale: the#master. (though. he tries. that’s what the whole ‘i forgive you’ thing is about.)#eleven is practically Made of this impulse. he does it to amy. he does it to river. he does it to rory to a much lesser extent but that’s#because rory has. a vague idea? of how to have healthy boundaries. if not with amy then at least with the doctor.#that’s why his speech about people wanting to impress the doctor making him dangerous is so important. rory can See what he’s doing.#and twelve. obviously. does this to clara. clara also does it right back. this is why they are made for each other alsjjfgjakdj.#and. he does it to missy. because. and i cannot emphasize this enough. he keeps her. in a box.#I ENJOY THIS ABOUT HIM. HE’S A FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!!!! WITH ISSUES ABOUT HOW HE REALLY REALLY WANTS TO IMPOSE HIS OWN MORALITY ONTO PEOPLE#HE KNOWS HE SHOULDNT BUT HE ALSO GETS FRUSTRATED AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY!!!!#and sometimes it’s unintentional. sure. sometimes it *really really* isn’t though. like.#and sometimes it’s both. sometimes it’s the result of him lashing out and reaching for a familiar coping mechanism in the moment.#but the point is the doctor does this.#doctor who
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You will never convince me that Isabel Lovelace is not disabled post-canon. Think about it.
Of everyone in the crew, she's spent by far the longest time in space. Sure, she's probably been exercising, but that isn't going to fully stop her muscles atrophying. Her bones are going to weaken. Not to mention the fact that she went into the cryo chamber, which we know isn't GREAT for you (I know Eiffel is kind of an outlier but still. Even once is gonna fuck you up at least a little).
Then add to THAT the fact that the body Lovelace has now was created by the dear listeners. Not only are they recreating a body that's already undergone almost a thousand days of the trauma of space; they're doing it with zero existing knowledge of how a human body functions in Earth's gravity. The clones are almost perfect, but there are notable differences in internal organs, and I wouldn't be surprised if Lovelace was put back together with some inconsistencies.
All this to say, I think Lovelace would become a mobility aid user when the crew lands back on Earth. Everyone on the crew would probably end up in physical therapy, but the damage done to her body would be by far the most extensive. Whereas I don't doubt Jacobi, Minkowski, and Eiffel could regain most if not all of their mobility, I think Lovelace would use a wheelchair, and eventually with PT could use crutches or a cane some days. Even if she were to regain muscle function, she would probably have some sort of chronic pain that would necessitate mobility aids!
In conclusion Let Her Be Disabled thank you for coming to my TED talk
#full disclosure I am neither disabled nor an astronaut#i just like thinking about the crew handling the realistic ramifications of their physical and emotional trauma#and Lovelace being permanently disabled opens up a whole other can of character analysis worms#she's obsessed with being able to protect her crew#she's been a strong able bodied air force officer for years#she would have to grapple with the idea that she's not able to be a fighter anymore#at least not in a physical sense#and the idea of being dependent on other people or mobility aids would break her a little at first i think#but that's Lovelace's whole arc#figuring out who you are again when you've lost something you thought defined you#learning to trust others and coming to terms with the fact that needing other people doesn't mean you're any less capable#do y'all remember when this show was a comedy#good times /lh#wolf 359#w359#isabel lovelace#captain lovelace#disability#also i am open to feedback#again i am not disabled so please Share Your Thoughts
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That one chef saying that the worst thing about a bad boss is how they unlock that behavior in you and seeing Carmy mirror the attitude of the chef that terrorized him and gave him panic attacks and then ending the season with Syd having a panic attack because of the stress of working with Carmy...diabolical.
#idk if it's a little too on the nose or not (i literally just finished the season so i haven't had time to sit with it) but that whole#element is so interesting (and so devastating). and the ways that mirrors all of Nat's worries about continuing the dysfunction of her#family now that she has a kid...#i also think its a good portrayal of how not addressing your trauma and leaving things to fester can end up hurting other people way more#than it hurts you. like even if Carmy is okay with choosing to not have a life or to be close with anyone (which. debatable) he's#not the only one whose life gets fucked by that. the mess just radiates out until it hits everyone around him and he ends up creating#the same circumstances that caused his dysfunction in the first place.#even if evil joel mchale chef is right (a+ casting btw very punchable face) and carmy needs to ruin his life to be a good chef#--which is a big if--he's actively making the people around him less able to do their jobs. which then makes the people around them#less able. and so on. so in the end it's still net negative. and like. chef terry proves that he's actually completely wrong#the environment in her kitchen is the exact opposite and everyone is operating at an insane level anyway no abuse necessary#this season was definitely the weakest of the 3 but i rly wanna see where they go next. and they better drop the next bit soon bc that was#in no way complete#the bear#the bear season 3#carmy berzatto#sydney adamu#the bear spoilers
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violently forcing myself to have better days
#everyone’s different and this isn’t true for everybody of course:#but a lot of the time we have more control over things than we can see in a difficult moment#like for example#a negative thought is inevitable and not something you can just stop. however you CAN decide from there how you let it effect you#it’s way easier said than done but you genuinely can be like hey I’m going to have a good day today#I like to set my intentions for the day and not allow my trauma nightmares to dictate how my whole day goes#but in order to do that I have to consciously decide that I deserve better and then create that for myself#does this make sense?#do things you know you enjoy/ things that make you feel better. take care of yourself. create little healthy routines to do each day#even if it’s just for 5 or 10 minutes#you have to act to make a genuine positive change in your life and circumstances#tried to say this as well as I could but I struggle w articulating exactly what I mean#like my thoughts are too complex to translate into words#anyways though I just wanted to add this- this post is not to make anybody feel bad whatsoever.#if you struggle with certain disorders and such it genuinely might be close to impossible for you to actually be able to have that control#and that’s okay. it doesn’t make you any less of a person and it is not your fault that you experience those difficulties#I just wanted to remind people that it is possible to control certain aspects of your life and it is possible to snap yourself out of it#I know I need to remember this as often as I can#that’s why I shared it#I hope this makes sense I do not know if it does lmao#(the tags)#my thoughts are so jumbled up. idk what other word to use lmao
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A stoic character with gender related trauma: *exists
Me: *gives them a daughter
#me to Zoro and reiju#fuyumi too I think#I don’t need to go into the gender related trauma of Zoro and reiju right now#but it’s part of the reason I love the characters#Zoro’s gender related trauma is also one of the things that makes him such a good character to headcanon as trans#Sanji is on this list too#but he’s a little less stoic#one piece#vinsmoke reiju#one piece reiju#roronoa zoro#Sanji#vinsmoke sanji#fuyumi todoroki#mha#my hero academia
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RAHHH DO I HAVE THOUGHTS
#idk im a huge overthinker so i have those moments of idk if these count as romantic feelings or not#and i have a tendency to take things really seriously when im into it#in the same way of wanting to do things right and whatnot#i wish i had someone to tell me to think a little less and take it easy when i was really going through it#because i thought about it so hard and worried about it so hard that falling in love was no longer fun for me#it was so stressful to me that it was causing me physical harm lol which is so fucked up that relationship trauma can do that to you#but ig part of it was being an inexperienced queer#the queer experience felt so hard to come by in the first place that i really really wanted to do it right and for it to work out#ig in a sense we're luckier to be in an environment where it's not as bad as like. idk.#like ig it's not to the point of i would date someone just bc it's so rare to run into someone else with the same identity#uh#wait#actually.#huh#hm#well. ok maybe like the majority of. the people i got into a relationship with. was bc they shared the same identity.#and i felt like i wouldn't. be able to be understood by someone who didn't share that identity.#anyway though. anyway.#we're working on not. doing that.#but yeah i forgot my point teehee#yuri rambling#kk rambles#i just yk. keep on having to remind myself that falling in love should be fun and not scary#having a silly little crush should bring me joy and not fear#i should enjoy the feeling of being present and enjoying life and even if im doing it my way and being intense i should have fun with it
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>i join a server for systems
> the rules dictate what my littles can and cannot do "for their own safety because they're literally children"
> i leave
#'all alters under the age of 16 must stay in the section where cursing and topics with any sort of maturity are banner'#what if the 4 year old wants to talk about how she smokes weed to deal with panic attacks and help with insomnia#shes not actually physically 4 you know she can smoke weed#and she swears just as much as everyone else idk why shed have to be protected from adult language#like if your littles do thats fine but why would you assume ALL syskids follow that or feel comfortable following that#my littles feel they CANNOT EXPRESS THEMSELVES AT ALL if they are limited to disney channel appropriate content#and theyre not out here like. making dick jokes or anything but when they get angry they say fuck#and talk about gore and drugs and trauma#besides. i think at least half of the people in the world swear around their kids and they turned out fine#we learned to swear when were 10 and swore often to express ourself as a child#most parents ive met swear around their children. not at mind you just around.#like most parents wont. drop a carrot on a patch of cat fur on the floor. and then go to the other room to quietly mutter FUCK#and they shouldnt have to#irl children shouldnt be completely cut off from swears they should be taught the appropriate time to use them#idk im just sick of people providing syskids with literally less agency than they would an actual IRL child.
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Now that I finished watching the anime and I'm reading the manga like my sister drinks water (a lot and constantly), I'm starting to post prompts and AUs about Wind Breaker too.
Anyways, Awakener AU (if you read korean manhwa/novels, you know what I mean) where the monster spawning begun before Sakura's first year.
—Except Sakura awakened just before he left his hometown and was chased away because they thought he was cursed or something.
People awakening and getting abilities were really new and it wasn't quite well spread yet. No one knew what was going on except him— more or less, thanks to what the whole awakening process implies (floating screen and such)—. Not that he could explain it.
Cue Sakura arriving to Furin when monsters are trying to attack the town. Everyone is confused to who this kid is, why this kid is, and from where did he even came.
Turns out he is the student from 1-1 class who hadn't shown up yet.
#i think i added him trauma#i was thinking one of his first skills/unique skill could be shapeshifting into a mighty tiger#like atsushi but with two tails and less mind losing#or something related to sakura trees#poor sakura why did i do that?#imagine monsters attacking the improvised barricade/wall protecting the town#managing to make a gap on it and apoint to attack a little kid#when a black and white tiger falls from the sky and sends them flying with its paw#then. his back in front of the kid. roars loud at them and scares most of them away#proceeds to pick up the kid and drops it with the nearest adult#wind breaker#sakura haruka#awakener sakura au
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highschool au sydcarmy is just kinda james and alyssa from teotfw
#weird autistic girl whos too headstrong and stubborn with an ego who doesnt know how to slow down or take a break#weird autistic boy whos quiet and serious and socially inept whos also an olympic level represser of emotions and childhood trauma#make james a little more highstrung and angry and make alyssa a little less mean#and thats them!!#they match eachothers freak#the bear#sydney adamu#the bear fx#carmy berzatto#sydcarmy#teotfw
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