#a little annoyed bc there are very real substance abuse issues that come from being autistic

[bunnyboy-juice]

i love that ppl are talking about the real adult problems that come from being autistic, including substance abuse, but can we please be sure that we're not over compensating for this by making the false association that all autistic people who partake in drugs or alcohol are struggling/in a bad place/are abusing it???

[standarrow]

abbacchio essay under the cut because he’s so important to me (god this is so long im sorry i have adhd i hope this is readable<3)

tl;dr being on how i think he healed and handled up until part 5 :”) + thoughts on his relationship to the team

tw!!! for all of the usual things that pertain to his backstory including: [death, alcohol abuse, police, ptsd/depression, etc]

i may be projecting<3 its fine

to start:

im not a fan of the way a lot of people handle handle abbas trauma and illness. the "entering a relationship fixes your problems<3" shit. or the romanticization of depression...i see both a lot, along with utilizing his substance issues as like a catalyst. i dont have to say why that shit isnt ok or healthy.

getting into it (because i want it to be this deep):

there is ... a lot of guilt that he shoulders around the death of his partner. someone he was friends with (and relied on him as a literal partner) died because He fucked up. that person wanted to protect him and died selflessly while he'd broken his own morals and he feels like it should have been him to pay for it. 

but he wasnt. and now he suddenly has two mistakes and blood on his hands. getting fired doesnt even Begin to fix that, so he withdraws because he cant trust himself, cant trust the institution he was already disillusioned from, and imo hes angry that he didnt get punished worse for his own crimes (but cops always get off easy)

bruno finds him in the worst place of his life and gives him a chance to put schedule in his life, to protect even if its not in the way he originally thought he would. he still doesnt trust himself, i do not think he takes to working with a partner easily (what if he fucks up again. he'll get bruno/narancia/fugo killed.) and i think that reflects in why moody blues isnt meant for combat. combat = danger. 

obligatory moody blues being an allegory for his trauma and ptsd surrounding the death of his partner.. constantly haunted by his own mistake and reliving that moment. heavily referencing his wish to redo, to know every detail of that prick he let bribe him that killed his partner, to have Control. because abbacchio isnt really about The Moment -- he's making sure the Moment doesnt have a chance to come to fruition. its nipping it in the bud before the weed can kill. he wants to make sure he can figure out whats going on First and protect. to figure out past events and prevent future danger.

starting to heal:

i’ve done a timeline previously: he graduates high school in 1998, six months for the police academy, 6 months before hes out again.. joins passione in december (rainy season) of 1999, and by december of 2000 (~4 months before part 5) hes like.... well. doing better in terms of his alcoholism. we see abbacchio by part 5 occasionally and seemingly comfortably enjoying a glass or two, which speaks that after some time working hes sort gained some..... confidence in his ability to keep his intake low. 

working for bruno means he cant drink as often or binge as much, hes needed and that structure keeps him in check, its not easy and yes he slips but its about and overall upwards climb because any progress is good progress... he builds a rapport with the team, comes to appreciate brunos role in giving him a chance and some peace of mind, sees himself in fugo, treats narancia like a little brother. relationships with others cant Fix your problems but friendship and structure can help, they can be there when you need it.

hes starting to trust himself more. and his relationship to fugo and nara were as crucial as his one with bruno is.

in purple haze feedback we see that he's been teamed up with fugo, and he knows fugos stand ability very well (see mirror man fight)... they Get each other and abbacchio sees a lot of his anger and distrust at himself in fugo, and easily calms fugo down when he gets upset (see mirror man episode in the car) 

fugo helped him trust himself and others more .. that other people arent Fragile and arent going to die on him every time they get into danger and its not His fault. he relies on fugo and vice versa. the kid is powerful but also a smart tactician and extremely capable. they Get each other and it helps abbacchio trust himself in combat situations and helps calm his paranoia about getting someone killed while working ... and nara is just sunshine. hes an annoying little brother but it helps him retain normalcy. some sense of like. not everything is doom and gloom

his depression and general self? depreciation perhaps doesnt leave him because those kinds of thoughts mould your brain a certain way.. they dont just go away without some work. but perhaps time with bruno helps him start to realise his worth, the way the team appreciates him and his ability. his self consciousness can start to fall away a little bit. i think by the time december of 2000 (a year after his recruitment by my timeline) hes like... a lot more comfortable with the schedule of his life, it helps him get out of bed, gives his brain a structure to latch onto. the responsibility of overseeing the younger ones and helping bruno gives him the sort of hope for this original goal of wanting to protect

@ bruno (in a more romantic sense perhaps + why i think he distrusts giorno so much)

his relationship to bruno isnt fucking “godlike savior<3″ because thats.... needless to say Very unhealthy. 

their relationship doesnt reach a point by where i think Either would even want to enter a relationship until about a year in (~4 months before part 5 begins)... theres a certain uncertainty i think bruno has with wanting to help abbacchio, he respects and cares about the other man and canonically sees him as his senior.. and i think theres a certain wall there that bruno isnt sure he wants to try to knock down, meanwhile abbacchio isnt sure when he built those walls but theyre safe (and what happens if you try to reach out?)

i think they sort of fall into it and its not... planned. its a little impulsive but it feels natural and they help each other because bruno is this comfort to abba, is the reason he has this structure and has made this progress himself and hes not....crediting it all to bruno obviously but bruno did play a Large Role. and bruno is all about little white lies, appearances. Yes hes fine. Dont worry, he has things under control. 

and i think to an extent abbacchio knows of brunos softer spots (as does fugo, bc of the reason he and fugo team up as described in phf is to protect him) but abba doesnt realise to the extent that bruno is .... hiding his real fears. brunos a lot about compartmentalization (hi zippers) and being let into brunos internal... thoughts beyond the occasional worries he mightve shared is a big step for them. bruno buries a lot of his internal problems and worries. he has to. hes got to keep moving, keep working; people rely on him... but abbacchio is the person he doesnt feel like he needs to protect because theyre equals and maybe he can let someone in to shoulder his worries and vice versa. theyre partners.

which is why i think abbacchio initially distrusts giorno so much... its not tht he doesnt trust bruno, but bruno doesnt Tell him about this. he realizes he might not know all brunos fears (specifically @ his distate and hate towards the mafia i made the point about in the bruno isnt evil post where its like.. he Couldntve shared that information, otherwise he would endanger abbacchio)

and it scares him. it freaks him the fuck out because he doesnt understand who this kid is or why bruno trusts him so much but he trusts bruno so he goes with it, even if he doesnt Understand.

anyways thts my TEDtalk ty i love you for reading this if you got here<3

[pepperful-qt]

Also I saw that you're into hp too, I'd like to request a hq x hp crossover please! Relationship hcs of kuroo, osamu and semi (separately) with a slytherin s/o? + bonus if there are suggestive hcs as well. I personally hc kuroo to be a fellow slytherin so I'd really appreciate it if you could assign slytherin for him! I'll leave osamu's and semi's houses to you ^^ thanks again!

ahhh this request made me so excited !! funnily enough I hc slytherin for all these babes🙈im one myself haha let's go🐍🐍🐍 this isn’t late shh

warnings: suggestive situations/language, alcohol (firewhiskey?? & substances)

Kuroo, Osamu, & Semi with a Slytherin s/o HP! AU

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Kuroo Tetsurou

he’s an example of a great slytherin leader

definitely a prefect/head boy, quidditch captain, and is in like 3 clubs. you bet he’s a favorite among professors too

he’s the stereotypical slytherin that’s good at potions, but it’s not bc he’s a slytherin it’s bc he’s an actual nerd (chemistry nerd? try potions nerd)  

and he’s just generally smart and good in his classes

and so are you :) a prefect too

in fact, you’re quite popular with all the houses and the professors. most people wouldn’t guess that your slytherin based on stereotypes

Kuroo, however, recognizes what you’re really doing: creating a network for yourself, and he respects it, but he will mess with you

you actually become friends with Kenma first, knowing he’s very intelligent, which is how he hears about you other than seeing you in passing in the common room and your shared classes

the first time he speaks to you is in potions class and brings up Kenma as a common point, and continues just charming his way through the conversation

he’s just too nice. but there’s little hints of provocation in there too

so you make things fun and flirt back, but play innocent hard to get 

the whole time before he actually asks you out is this back and forth witty banter and flirting that drives everyone crazy

which by the way, he keeps dropping hints that you’re going to have to ask first, but when you finally crack and start to he asks instead, making you flustered (which was his goal the whole time)

can i just say: power couple

y’all are just popular and no one knows why really?? you’re just hard to hate. it’s allll jealousy

you’re also the parents of the slytherins too. you keep em in line but also have no issue standing up to anyone

and trust me, no one wants to mess with you two. you have respect for more than one reason, and knowing a nasty hex or two is def one of them

that network i was talking about? comes in handy all the time

he’ll casually mention a specific kind of root he needs for a potion he wants to try in his extracurricular potion lessons (yes he’s that person) and you just go:

“oh Richard has a friend in ravenclaw who’s got a cousin working at a shop in Hogsmeade that gets those regularly. want me to ask?”

he’s good at getting away with his shenanigans. usually. you always catch him and never let him live it down

when he acts all cocky you know just what to say to knock him down a few pegs, or flirt up a storm that makes everyone around you gag at the sexual tension

“yes captain”

honestly, it feels like you’re the only ones who know the other completely, save for Kenma with Kuroo

he’s the type that will cast orchideous when he sees you by yourself and make flowers grow next to you before walking up and revealing himself aw <3

other students would rather hug the giant squid than get in a debate with you two, especially if you’re together. they’re feelings and egos will be permanently scarred

more pda than other slytherin x slytherin relationships. you’re not afraid to show that you belong to each other

it’ll be something like an arm around your shoulder or a kiss on the cheek as a greeting (it’s still subtle)

however,,

more than one occasion he’ll come up behind you while you’re working in the library and massage your shoulders while kissing your neck and whispering some suggestions into your ear

it looks very innocent from an outside perspective, but he makes it so hard to concentrate with his hot breath on your skin

and did i mention you’re both prefects? wow do you abuse your privilege sometimes

what’s more exciting than getting a little action in a dark secluded part of the castle by torchlight during your nightly rounds?

need i mention the bath? steamy.. Myrtle’s a blabbermouth too, so the other prefects know what’s up. but really, are they gonna stop you?

not always, of course. shared baths are some of the best times to have real talk and deep conversations

100% supportive of each other and will take over the world one day, we love to see it

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Miya Osamu

the temptation to just make him from Durmstrang-

***i just know people will fight me for sorting him into Slytherin. it’s true that he fits in others but he’s flexible, so i stuck him here for now. i already admitted he was a hat stall calm down.

ANYWAYS

Osamu’s career as a Hogwarts student is made up of 2 things: quidditch and a secret snack and substance smuggling ring he started in his second year

the Miya twins have a reputation with quidditch just like with volleyball (Osamu is a chaser, Atsumu is a beater. great team)

(i imagine they’re pureblood too, not rlly important though. if you’re half/muggleborn, enjoy teaching his clueless ass about basic muggle society)

you’re another proud and competitive slytherin, who somehow has dirt on anyone and everyone

you’re on the quidditch team too, even better. that’s where you grow close to the twins at first, making you guys a power trio in your own right. quidditch dream team <3

not only do you spend a lot of time together, getting to know each other intimately as teammates (beyond the facades) and allowing his feelings to grow slowly yet surely, but Atsumu is also there to provoke and make Osamu subconsciously jealous when he gets feelings

you’re great at talking Atsumu in circles, which frustrates him and amuses Osamu

(more than once the twins have gotten into pseudo-duels and nearly burned the quidditch stands to the ground. lucky your common room is in a stone dungeon omfg)

you obv know about his snack business, initiating a bit of blackmail to get him to do favors for you, but all in good fun. eventually one of those favors is a date ;)

it’s a quiet relationship, not an in-your-face one, but no one can deny the chemistry,, it’s almost suffocating itself

he’d messed around a little, but they never lasted more than a week. so when he realized you’d hit the month mark he was (internally) “oh shit”

you go on Hogsmeade dates all the time <3 he actually laughs when you get a butterbeer foam mustache. it was an accident the first time, now you do it on purpose ;)

you become a business partner for his smuggling ring. your blackmail means you’ve got lots of people under your thumb and lots of favors available to call in. he also trusts your judgement

fangirls are always jealous, but merlin help them if they confront you. if they’re lucky you’ll roll your eyes and ignore them, but usually you’ll decimate them with words and leave them in the dust. you also know how to hex and get away with it (just blame someone else duh)

yeah rumors happen and it’s annoying, bc you really don’t need people staring at you all the time, but neither you or Osamu even address it

both of you are invited to Slughorn’s parties along with Atsumu, you’re that couple

you’re staring someone down and he comes from behind and snakes (ha) his arms around your waist, glaring at them over your shoulder. 11/10 terrifying

sitting in the courtyard talking to your friends, your head on his lap while he plays with your hair

sneaking into the kitchens together. once you tried some cooking charms and the next day everyone’s eggs were neon green at breakfast...oops?

holding hands while you walk through the hallways and the crowd parts around you

Atsumu is secretly bitter his brother has such a cool s/o and he has yet to have a serious relationship, so he’ll bother & tease the two of you a lot to cope smh

though you don’t show it in public and often give off a tough front instead, behind closed doors you’re actually very loving and committed to one another

favorite places for ~special~ time? quidditch locker room & your dorm

you find excuses to stay behind after practice together. your teammates used to think it was just a coincidence until they finally caught on (not that they’d tattle. if you get caught that’s your business)

imo Osamu would probably be willing to try involving charms in some way during sexy times. a spark on your skin, binding, whatever. most of them are one-offs but it’s the thought that counts ig

there’s an unspoken rule in the slytherin boys dorm to stick a drooble’s gum wrapper on the door of the dorm to tell the others to stay out, but Osamu doesn’t trust anyone so he prefers hanging out in your room. it’s quieter and your roommates know not to try anything <3

he smuggles in some firewhiskey and other stuffs for you two to enjoy by yourselves <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫

Semi Eita

(debated with gryffindor for him, but ultimately decided nahh)

Semi is less of the sly and underhanded slytherin and more of the ambitious and self-assured kind

idk why, but i’m feeling a love-hate to friendly competition to friends to lovers ?? don’t ask ajsldkf

you’re a top student, mostly bc of your charm though. no one knows if your good grades are real (they are, but it doesn’t hurt being the teacher’s favorite)

though you hop around friend circles, you don’t have a solid group. sort of an outcast in that way

he knows you exist, but no one really expects much from you. aha, big mistake

every single time you sweep everyone in classes, one way or another, you come out on top (hey i won’t question your methods) and oh does it piss him off. you’ve hit a competitive nerve my friend,, little bit of envy too :/

he confronts you, but you evade, maybe with a little challenge or provocation

from then on it’s just little jabs at each other. he corrects your stirring technique. you return the favor in transfiguration with his wrist motion

you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”

he ends up partnering with you in potions, just to see your tricks up close i swear. he didn’t realize that meant he’d see different sides of you when you study. the way you mingle with everyone intrigues and fascinates him, and slowly curiosity takes the place of spite

he saw you prank a gryffindor into drinking babbling beverage, and it was the first time he saw a genuine smile from you (even if it was a little malicious) 

slowly your relationship shifts as you learn more about each other. you’re more than a suspected cheater and he’s more than a hotheaded jock

you two are the definition of “are you flirting or starting a fight?”

both of you are super super stubborn and too proud to admit feelings for each other sigh, cue slytherin bff tendou to the rescue. count on him for some elaborate scheme to finally get you two together. thank god

once you are together, you’re inseparable

you send each other messages on paper birds charmed to fly to the other, wherever they are. it’s gotten you in trouble a few times (Snape will read them out loud, just bc you’re slytherin doesn’t mean you’re spared embarrassment)

you are in charge of his outfits if you ever go on casual dates to Hogsmeade. sorry eita it’s not a debate <3

he’s super fcking protective, and has a bit of a jealous streak. scary when irritated, but no more than you are

most loyal freaking couple ever though

you’ll have heated debates with each other that from the outside look like you’re fighting but five minutes later you’re chilled out on the common room couch reading a book together, him reading over your shoulder as you sit between his legs

deep conversations late at night in the common room, watching the giant squid & cuddling by the fireplace

love talking about your dreams and aspirations, joking about taking over the world together <3

though it takes some convincing for him on your part, you’re great at sneaking out and not getting caught. you know the secret passages like the back of your hand thanks to being stuck in the dungeons, and like hell rules are going to keep you from enjoying what you want

Hogsmeade, down by the black lake/boathouse at night, and your favorite spot, the astronomy tower <3

you’ll go up there at night, casting sparks from your wand that decorate the air like hovering stars, and just enjoy the beauty of magic and each other

the first time you were almost caught, you ended up in a snug secret passage, and that was your first kiss

sometimes you’re almost caught and then it’s a nice flashback to that time

low on pda outside of holding hands, but get a little firewhiskey and you’re all over each other

late night study sessions in the library that often turn into makeout sessions when you’re finally alone what can i say, the possibility of getting caught is exciting

a big part of your relationship is impressing and inspiring each other every day. you understand each others’ passions and habits, and you’re constantly keeping each other in check while also pushing yourselves to be better (tbh top tier slytherin x slytherin dynamic)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。・゜✭・.・✫ 

a/n: anyone want a fic out of these?? omfg please send more harry potter or au in general