#a letter from janelle

[oopsl]

Bone Palace Ballet by Chiodos, 2007

[tudorqueen6]

25 August 1544: The ‘Quene Regente’ writes Henry VIII

[Endorsed] The queen’s Grace to the King’s majesty 25 August 1544 [Addressed] To the King’s most excellency majesty Pleaseth it your majesty to be advertised: albeit I had at this present none occurrences of importance to be signified unto your highness, your realm being, thanks to almighty God, in very good order and quiet: yet, foreasmuch as Richard Higham is at this time dispatched hence…

[siderains]

“dads and daughters, you think any of them ever really get it right?”

(yasmin belkhyr, “Interlude with forgotten myth, or, portrait of ibrahim’s daughter,” alongside with the panel from “dawn of x”/picture of an aurora borealis/paragraph of one of kafka’s letters to his father/quote from “last days of magneto” with the artwork of briony marshall called “peaceful embrace”/quote from “wuthering heights” by emily brönte/quote from poem “the angry daughter” by janelles locket with a panel of “house of m”/quote from the book “ghost of my ghosts” by sol rios/quote from “x factor”/panel from “the trial of magneto”)

[victoria-daydreams]

The Winner Takes It All ||Challengers

Part II: Maneaters

AN: I'm back y'all! I'm sorry for the delay in posting, classes are over but my god did work quickly fill the vacuum of the little free time I had. Buckle up everyone, we're experiencing our first time jump! And once again, a big thank you to has followed this story!

Trigger warnings: slight homophobia

Word Count: 6.1k

Taglist: @seriousaliysa @hopeless-y @malscorner @miximora @urfavesim @mmmunson @jackierose902109 @youngestxhearts @blkdivinefeminine @kalikailz @lottiematthewsceo @lonnie2390147 @begoniaespresso @everydayimagineer @pnkstali @softimgyu @amethystwonders11 @hazbinh0e @ysuftmikey @summerssover @hummusxx @callumturnerwife23 @whitewashedghanian @brunettegirl @igotmajordaddyissues

I tried to tag everyone who commented, but tumblr is being weird so I don’t know if you’ll get the notification.

Part III: The First Crack

13 YEARS LATER - NEW ROCHELLE, AUGUST 2019

In the mostly empty lobby bar of The Ritz-Carlton, a woman occupied the furthest seat of the counter, alone. Her eyes were glued to the screen of her iPad Air as vibrant, moving images reflected perfectly in her eyes. "Electric Lady" by Janelle Monae played in the background of the video while several women and a few men were dancing or goofing around against a lilac backdrop. The camera cut to a shot of a smiling woman, striking several posses for it, showing off the makeup flawlessly applied to her face. Suddenly, the woman was lightly shoved out of the frame by two laughing women all sharing resemblance of each other as they began using the camera as a mirror to apply lipstick or lip gloss. The camera zoomed in on the round and square tubes of the products, displaying the white lettering printed across it.

Another model popped up on screen doing a twirl before the camera focused in on the eye makeup painted on his face. Just as the music was slowly beginning to fade out, the camera positioned itself into an overhead shot, showing the set in its entirety. On both sides, models were crowding in front of mirrors inside a beauty bar. The woman from the beginning of the video confidently strode down the middle of the space, the camera slowly panning down to bring it down to eye level.

"Ace Beauty. Keeping your game face effortlessly chic and always classic," she recited smoothly, a charming smile on her face as she signed her name on the lens with lipstick.

Gianna stared at herself in the video, the end of her Apple Pencil pressed against her lips. Her own makeup line, Gianna could hardly believe that's a sentence she could say. It made sense to pursue the business endeavor though, her makeup looks off the court were always being discussed by her fans. Her Instagram comments were constantly flooded with questions: what techniques does she use, how did she achieve a certain look, what products is she wearing, etc. The makeup line scheduled to drop the same day as the start of the US Open Tournament, this of course was by design; what better way to promote your new brand than doing it on the same day when millions of eyes are already on her.

"You actually came,"

The sound of his voice made a grin tug on Gianna's lips.

"Well why wouldn't I, Patrick?" she questioned, placing the stylus down onto the bar. "I said I would I come, and here I am," she said, turning to look at the dark haired man with a laugh.

Gianna slid down from the stool and onto the floor, holding her arms open invitingly for an embrace. Though they were a few feet apart, she couldn't help but notice that Patrick was a little worse for wear. Like he was constantly at war with life itself and lost many battles in the process, but somehow was still here. Gratefully, Patrick accepted the hug, but Gianna was unprepared for how tightly he held onto her. He was like a child holding their favorite stuffed animal, it couldn't have been clearer to Gianna that Patrick was in need of comfort. In need of a friend.

"Okay, okay, Patrick, it's great to see you too buddy," Gianna said, patting his back lightly a couple of times. But you are squeezing the life out of me," she wheezed, and Patrick immediately released her.

He pulled back, running his hands down her arms while letting his eyes roam over her freely.

"You look damn good Gianna," Patrick complimented, shaking his head and laughing.

She shrugged her shoulders, "Hmm, I know," she agreed, twirling around in her ivory Ralph Lauren sleeveless jumpsuit. "You don't look so bad yourself, Patrick," she complimented back.

Those gray eyes, worn and tired, but still the same eyes that lit up whenever he had seen her. Still the same boy underneath it all.

"Come, sit with me," Gianna encouraged, walking back to her corner stool.

Taking a seat next to her, Patrick propped his arm up against the counter and leaned his head against his fist.

"How's your dad?" he wondered curiously, smirking a little.

A breathy chuckle escaped her, "It is very brave, kind really, of you to ask about the well being of my dad," Gianna commented, something which Patrick laughed at. "He's fine all things considered, misses coaching me, but with his heart attack it's best he focuses on his tennis academy. Less stressful," she answered, unlocking her IPad.

"And what does father dearest think about you coming to a challenger tournament to see me?"

Another laugh left Gianna, this one harder than the previous one, "You do not want to know," she warned, dragging her finger across the screen to start her makeup ad from the beginning.

"Come on, what did the old man say? You piqued my curiosity now," he said, wearing a challenging smirk.

Gianna's eyebrows shot up, her head tilting to the side to wordlessly convey the question of, "You sure about that?" It only made Patrick's smirk deepen.

"Alright, you asked for it, but don't say I didn't warn you," she began, lifting her hands up. "My dad said it was beneath me to even be anywhere in your proximity," Gianna answered bluntly.

"You know, I gotta admire the old man for his never wavering in his hatred of me," Patrick joked. "At least you still came and didn't listen to him like you would've before,"

"Yeah, I did take some words of wisdom from you the day we broke up," she admitted, looking over to him. "You were right, you know? I always allowed my dad's words to sway me much too easily," she remarked. "Though, you are wrong about one thing. My dad doesn't hate you. Initially, he did," she informed, watching Patrick's eyebrows rise. "No, what he hates is watching you squander the potential you had as a tennis star," she corrected, shrugging her shoulders.

"Ouch," Patrick said, pressing his hand over his chest in fake pain.

Gianna thought she saw a brief flash of hurt in his eyes, but in an instant, it was gone and she was forced to think she had imagined it.

"Listen, not saying this tournament won't work out for you, but if doesn't, I have a proposal that my dad is probably going to kill me for," she said, resting her arms on the counter.

"And that is?"

"I'll get you a position at the Maurice Langdon Academy as an instructor," Gianna offered.

Patrick's head jerked up from his hand, "You serious, Gia?" he asked, a glimmer of gratefulness shining in his eyes.

"Serve normally, and I can almost guarantee you that my dad will take you on," she assured, pointing her finger at him.

"This isn't charity, right?" Patrick asked, a flash of skepticism appearing on his face. "My dad, who's a big fan of yours and a donor to your dad's academy, didn't put you up to this?" he questioned.

"Patrick, the only person who put me up to this was me," she answered. "Plus, it's like what you told me over the phone, you have one good season left in you. Who's to say after this challenger you don't go on to achieve your dream," she suggested, shrugging slightly. "This is a job offer, Patrick, one that is waiting for you no matter which way the wind blows," she said simply, smiling at him.

Before Gianna knew it, she became the receiver of a very tight bear hug that seemed to last for an eternity. Patrick shook with laughter, the sound reverberating against her as Gianna found herself smiling at his reaction just before he pulled away from her.

"This is the kindest fucking thing someone has done for me in a longtime," he informed, his voice slightly muffled against her shoulder. He pulled back. "Tennis superstar, Olympian, philanthropist, fashionista, friend," Patrick listed, shaking his head as another laugh escaped him. "Is there nothing Gianna Langdon can't do?" he wondered.

She chuckled, "I'm still working on that last part," Gianna said, shaking her head. "I haven't been the greatest at it in the past," she admitted, her eyes lowering.

Patrick grabbed a hold of her hands, "But you're here now, Gianna," he pointed out, bending his head so he could meet her stare. "I called your number with little hope that you would pick up, but you did," he reminded softly, running the calloused pads of his fingers across the back of her hands. "Hell, I thought the moment I dialed your number it would go straight to voicemail," he confessed, with a small smile before the two shared laughter.

Gianna glanced up, "It means a lot to me that I was the first person you thought to call for support," she confessed.

"Couldn't think of a better woman to be in my corner," Patrick reasoned, letting a lopsided grin grow on his face.

Just like that, old butterflies that Gianna believed had gone dormant awakened inside her stomach, fluttering and flickering about wildly. Giggling, she slowly pulled her hands from Patrick's and ran one of them through her freshly silk pressed, honey brown hair.

"Control it," she thought.

She cleared her throat, "You forgot to add one more feather to my cap," she commented, deliberately changing the subject.

"And what's that?"

"Entrepreneur," she beamed proudly. "Patrick Zweig, you are looking at a future beauty mogul," she proclaimed.

"You know once upon a time, the woman in front of me was worried no one was going to take a chance on her, glad to see those worries were unfounded," he recalled, mirroring her expression.

"I am too," she agreed. "Want a sneak peek of the fruit of my labors?" she offered.

Answering with a grin and nod, Gianna unlocked her IPad and tapped play on the screen. Just as Patrick began to watch her commercial, Gianna let her eyes wander into the hotel foyer until they landed on a pair of strikingly blue ones. Her breath hitched uncomfortably in her throat, while her heart nearly stopped in her chest. For a fleeting moment, time suspended itself and it was as if they existed in a universe all of their own. Nothing was there, nothing except for those bright blue eyes, boring into her own. Gianna could hardly believe, stomach, who the set of eyes staring back at her belonged to, for it was none other than Arthur Donaldson.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as blood thudded audibly in her ears from the erratic rhythm of her heart beating. Gianna swore the thumping of heart would drown out the sound from the video and be heard by Patrick. They stare at each other, nearly a decade of unspoken words flowing between them without either of them ever opening their mouths. In truth, the silence was far louder than anything they could have said. Confused shock painted itself all over Art's features, an expression mirrored on her own.

Instantly, Gianna's mind was flooded with memories with the force of a tsunami. The two of them goofing off in her dorm room when they were supposed to be studying for class. Her birthday dinner date, that was not a date. His touching gift to her on her birthday which led to a moment of weakness that set off a terrible domino effect. Gianna remembered everything. The catalyst event which decimated a friend group within a single day, tore best friends apart, and formed a rift which Gianna believed would never mend. She couldn’t forget their history, it defined who they were now.

"Were those your sisters in the commercial?"

Patrick's voice was faint and faraway, everything for Gianna was muffled and distorted, like voices being heard underneath water. The impact of a hand on her knee ripped Gianna out of her trance. Blinking a few times, Patrick's face came back into her focus.

"I-I'm sorry what did you ask?" Gianna questioned, pointedly ignoring Art's eyes being trained on her and burning holes into her face.

"Was that Alicia and Farrah I saw in the commercial?"

"Yeah—Yes, they were," Gianna confirmed distractedly, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"You alright Gia? You've been looking over my shoulder for a solid minute now," Patrick remarked, raising a brow. "Is there someone you know here?" he questioned curiously, beginning to turn around.

Gianna had never moved quicker in her life, her hand darting out to grasp his chin with two fingers and redirecting his attention back to her. The world's awkwardest ex-friend's reunion was not going to happen on her watch.

"No one worth mentioning or addressing," Gianna assured, an easy smile on her lips. Releasing his chin, she lightly hit her palm against the counter. "Let’s have a drink, yeah?" she suggested, getting the bartender's attention.

"To celebrate you or me?"

"You, silly," she answered, before motioning to her drink for a refill and ordering for Patrick. She still knew his drink of choice despite the passage of time. "And a little bit of me as well," she admitted playfully, moving her head side to side. "I'm serious though, Patrick. I know how much this tournament means to you and how much you have riding on it. I am proud of what you accomplished, truly," she praised, her eyes twinkling in delight.

"Receiving high praise from Gianna Langdon," Patrick began, as their drinks were slid across the counter in front of them. "I'll be damn near unstoppable on the court now," he joked, grabbing his glass.

Gianna grabbed her own drink, "To future successes," she wished, raising her glass.

"To future successes," Patrick echoed, the rim of his glass softly clinking against hers. They both take a sip of their drinks and Patrick grinned against his glass as if he just remembered something. Lowering the cup from his lips, he placed it on top of the counter. "I forgot to wish you a happy belated," he mentioned.

"Birthday?" Gianna asked, bringing her glass down from her mouth. "That was way back in early spring, but thanks regardless," she said, with a laugh.

"No, silly," Patrick said, with a grin. "Happy belated Pride! Congrats on coming out as bisexual!" he cheered.

"Oh fuck off!" Gianna said, laughing heartily and hitting his arm.

"What? It was very brave of you to do so," he complimented, laughing himself.

With a playful roll of her eyes, Gianna shook her head.

"Bravery had nothing to do with it," she corrected. "I mean, it's what I am. I discussed coming out to the public with my dad, and he said no better time to do it than in the month where it celebrates folks like me," Gianna recalled, shrugging and lifting her glass to her lips. "I'm already a beloved athlete, it was only going to be a net positive for me," she reasoned, leaning back against the backrest of the barstool.

"Always about the optics with you, Gia," Patrick said, his tone biting.

Gianna lifted her drink to her lips, "I am my father's daughter," she said dryly. "For better or for worse," she added quietly, knocking back the rest of her drink.

~~~x~~~

13 YEARS EARLIER - STANFORD UNIVERSITY, 2006

Move-in day was hot. Scratch that, it was scorching outside underneath the California sun. The blistering heat made the task of transporting Gianna's belongings to her dorm room a miserable one. The thought of forgoing her clothes all together floated about in Gianna's head if it meant some relief from the heat. Though, she knew her mom and dad would be none too pleased at the gesture, especially since the two helpers in their amidst was Art and Patrick.

Being the ever helpful boyfriend, Patrick lent his hand in assisting both Gianna and Tashi move into their dorm rooms. Despite his helping hand, Gianna's dad was still none too impressed by Patrick.

"I don't like it, he's too arrogant for my liking," the salt-and-pepper haired man groused, shaking his head, clearly displeased by Gianna's taste in a boyfriend.

Mrs. Langdon snorted softly from her seat within the trunk of their truck.

For as long as Gianna could remember, her mother had always exuded an air of sophistication and chic that she hoped she could match one day. Of course, when her mother being a former American Ballet Theatre ballerina, it came with the territory. People always told her she had mother's soft face or most commonly said she, “stole her whole face from her momma”. To Gianna, her mother was absolutely stunning, like straight out off the front cover of Ebony magazine. More importantly, her mom was the yin to her dad’s yang, her gentleness balanced his sternest.

"What? He's just a younger version of you Maurice, but," she paused, tapping a finger to the palm side of her hand and smiling at her husband.

"Well, unlike him, I didn't have wandering eyes," he retorted, taking off his horn rimmed glasses, to wipe away the fog from his lenses. "Gia, darling, are you sure that Patrick is dating you for you, or because of your access to Tashi?" Mr. Langdon questioned sincerely, his brow arching.

"Ohh, this is awkward," Gianna thought.

Telling her mom and dad she and Tashi were both dating Patrick, she would simply have to be waterboarded for them to get that information out of her.

"Patrick is dating me for me," Gianna reassured, nodding her head while wiping at the thin line of sweat trickling down her forehead.

"Your dad is worried about Patrick, while my concern is with your friend, Arthur," Mrs. Langdon stated, shifting her body to face Gianna fully.

"Art?" Gianna repeated, disbelief all over her face. "What, come on? Art is probably the nicest, sweetest guy I've ever met," she defended, an incredulous laugh belting from her.

"Honey, those are the ones you have to be the most careful of," Mrs. Langdon warned, placing her hand on Gianna's knee. "Boys like Art, are able to get away with much because people believe the same way as you do," she explained. "I've seen the way he looks at you, how he looks when you and Patrick get affectionate with each other," she noted, staring pointedly at Gianna. "I say this as your mother, as a woman, be careful around Art. I fear he's the type to throw stones and then hide his hands, if it means getting what he wants," she advised.

Gianna rolled her eyes, "Mom, that's ridiculous," she protested.

"Gia!"

"Speak of the devil," she thought.

Standing at the doorway of her dorm building was Art with his trademark backwards Stanford hat and a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

"I guess that's our sign to hit the road again," Mrs. Langdon noted, with an exhale. "Your dad and I still have to go to UCLA to visit Farrah and make sure she's all squared away for her sophomore year," she reminded, pushing herself up from the trunk bed and reaching her hands out for Gianna.

"Call me the moment you make it to campus," Gianna ordered, taking her mom's hands to jump down onto the ground.

"Yes, ma'am," Mrs. Langdon answered, nodding her head and chuckling. She ran her hands up and down Gianna's arms, giving her a once over. "Can't believe I'm dropping off my baby girl to college!" she exclaimed, bringing her in for a tight hug. "One step closer to being a big name tennis superstar!" she cheered, as Gianna returned her hug. "I'm so proud of you!" she stated, pulling back from her.

Gianna beamed at her mother's words as the older woman pressed a kiss atop of her head.

"Your mom offered you some words of wisdom, now it's my turn," Mr. Langdon said, gathering Gianna in his arms for another tight embrace and swaying them side to side. Pulling away, he gave her biceps a squeeze as his demeanor became a little more serious. "Don't let her run you," he instructed vaguely.

Gianna frowned, "What?" she questioned, her head tilting.

"Do not let Tashi Duncan run you," he repeated slowly. "You've allowed her to get away with it for too long, but starting today, that shit dies," he said sternly.

"Tashi does not run me, Dad," Gianna disagreed, scoffing quietly. "I think we both witnessed that at Juniors this year," she pointed out.

"You seem to have a great handle on that, tennis wise," Mr. Langdon began, pressing his palms together. "But for life in general, you're lacking severely," he retorted. "Let this be the last day I ever hear you say the words, 'Tashi says', 'Tashi wants', or 'Tashi believes', alright?" he questioned, staring over the rim of his glasses. "I'm trying to make you a superstar, not a sidekick to another superstar. It's time you shed that image once and for all, and to do that, you must start thinking for yourself. Making a name for yourself. Got it?" he asked, both his brows raising.

"Yes, sir," Gianna answered tightly.

Mr. Langdon nodded approvingly, "Atta girl," he replied, before bringing her in for a second hug. "Have fun in college, but not too much fun," he murmured, against her head. "Kick ass and take names, we have a dream to fulfill," he said, with a pat against her back.

"Yours or mine?" Gianna thought bitterly.

Her dad released his hold on her, moving to shut the trunk door close. Gianna watched her parents get into the truck, the doors slamming close in unison.

"Gia, just please consider what I said earlier, for me," Mrs. Langdon said, looking back at her from the passenger seat.

"Yeah, I will, I will," she answered, brushing off her mom's concerns.

With one final wave, her parents pulled off from the parking lot and Gianna felt like a weight had been lifted from her chest. She was finally free. For the first time in her life, Gianna would be able to navigate life where tennis and her dad were not wholly the center of her universe. She now had the chance to do something she always dreamed of doing, just being a normal 18 year-old. Exploring old hobbies and new, hanging out with friends, going to parties, it was all there for the taking now that her dad could no longer constantly breathe down her neck. Smiling to herself, Gianna turned around and jogged to the entrance of her dorm building where Art patiently waited for her.

"Everything good?" Art wondered, as she climbed the last step up.

"Never been better!" Gianna answered, a delighted smile on her face.

Walking past him, she nimbly snatched Art's hat from his head and ran into the building.

"Hey!" he cried playfully.

Gianna sprinted up the staircase to her floor, giggling every step of the way as Art was hot on her trail and laughing along with her. Just as she approached the doorway to her room, she suddenly felt herself being lifted off her feet and spun around, briefly feeling weightless.

"Your girlfriend is a thief!" Art informed breathlessly, with a laugh as he put Gianna back down on her feet.

Another series of giggles left Gianna as they entered her room, "Do not listen to such slanderous lies! I'm innocent!" she proclaimed, placing Art's hat on her head.

Making a beeline to her bed, she plopped down on it next to Patrick who was casually stretched out across the mattress. In an instant, his arm naturally wrapped itself around Gianna's waist while he shifted himself into a sitting position.

"Look at this face Art," Patrick began, using his free hand to take her chin in between his fingers and playfully squeeze her cheeks. "Does this look like the face of a thief?” he questioned. Gianna shook her head in his grasp, her eyes warm with mirth. "Exactly Gianna, that's what I think as well," he agreed, before swooping down to attack the side of her face with kisses.

"Patrick!" Gianna shrieked in laughter, writhing in arms.

Tashi started making fake gagging sounds and Gianna eyes flickered over to hers.

"Don’t be like that Tash," she said, a fake pout on her lips. "There's plenty of love to go around," she reminded, outstretching her hand towards her girlfriend.

"You sure about that?" Tashi asked, her face contorting in a look of faux outrage. "Because it seems like Patrick is hogging you all to himself,"

Gianna only snickered in response, her eyes rolling before meeting Art's stare. It made her smile falter when she did. There was the faintest twitch of a muscle in his jaw, a scowl threatening to cloud his features. His eyes hardened at the edges to the point they resembled ice. And she was the only one noticing the drastic shift in Art's cheery demeanor, it sent shivers down her spine. Vaguely, Gianna felt Patrick's lips peppering kisses up and down her neck while talking to Tashi in between each one. Without taking her eyes off Art, she reached behind her and lightly tapped the side of Patrick's face.

Gianna cleared her suddenly dry throat, "Alright, alright, easy there lover boy," she joked, tearing her eyes from Art's face for a quick glance to his throat where his Adam's apple bobbed in agitation.

Patrick chuckled against her skin and pulled away from her, resting his back against the wall while bringing her down with him.

"So uh, what do you guys wanna do now?" Art wondered, his usual bright attitude returning without missing beat. "The day is still young," he added, lowering himself down to have a seat onto the plush rug covering the floor.

"Hmmm," Gianna hummed in contemplation, adjusting Art's hat to fit snug on the top of her head.

It was an action that left Art's gaze lingering on her. Gianna wished he would quit staring at her like he was a man dying of thirst, ready to drink her up and gulp down like a glass of water when placed in front of him. And it was not because she found it creepy, it was the fact that it was stirring up physical and emotional responses she should not be having when her boyfriend and girlfriend are literally in the room with her.

"I think—" Gianna began.

"We should go hit around on the courts," Tashi suggested, swiveling back and forth in the desk chair. "Can't think of a better group to do it with," she reasoned, her lips curling upwards.

"What? Oh come on, no!" Gianna complained, raising up from Patrick's chest. "We're all gonna have plenty of opportunities to hit a tennis ball around the court," she said in exasperation. "We're in college guys—well most of us are in college," she corrected, earning her a squeeze to her side from Patrick. "Let's be normal college kids and have some fun for once and enjoy our freedom," she suggested.

"What did you have in mind Gia?” Patrick asked, his fingers softly trailing up and down her waist.

"There's a mini golf course not too far from campus. I saw it on the way here with my parents," she answered, looking around at everyone.

"That does sound fun to do," Art grinned, nodding his head in agreement.

"Gia, you know complacency breeds mediocrity," Tashi warned.

"God, does she sound like dad!" she thought.

Gianna spoke before she could stop herself, "Yes, and, being hyper focused on one, single thing makes a person super fucking boring too," Gianna shot back.

The swiveling of the chair came to an abrupt halt. Gianna could almost physically feel all the air sucked out of the room. Nobody moved and Gianna found herself engaged in a staring match with Tashi in a battle of wills.

"Are you calling me boring?" Tashi challenged, her eyes narrowing.

Art breathed out a nervous chuckle, "Tashi, I don't—" he started.

"No, no, let Gianna answer," Tashi interrupted, holding her hand up in his direction without looking.

"Yes," Gianna thought.

"I didn't say you," Gianna pointed out. "It was a generalized statement," she continued.

"Is that so?" Tashi asked, doubt coloring her tone.

"Yeah, it is," Gianna answered, arching her brow in challenge.

"Come on Tash," Patrick called, sitting up from his spot against the wall. "It's not a bad idea, all of us are going to have our hands full for the next couple of months," he said, his eyes dancing between the two girls.

"We can make it a going away party for Patrick before he's off to the pros," Art chirped in.

"Yes, exactly Art!" Patrick agreed. "And what better way to be sent off than having my two, beautiful girlfriends by my side,”

Gianna stole a quick glance at Art after hearing Patrick's words and she swore she saw his forehead vein pulse with unusual intensity.

"Okay, fine," Tashi huffed, and Gianna's eyes flitted from Art back to her.

Gianna softly pushed Patrick's arm from her waist and stood up to sit on Tashi's lap.

"It'll be fun, Tash!" Gianna promised, looping her arms around Tashi's neck. "You'll see," she encouraged, pecking her forehead.

"Yeah, yeah," Tashi groused.

~~~x~~~

With pursed lips, Gianna drew her arms backwards then forwards to make sure that the little, white ball was aligned with her club before gently swinging at it. The precise hit sent the ball rolling down the green in a perfectly straight line, right into the hole.

"Nice shot Gia!" Art cheered, sticking his hand out for a hi-five.

"I try," she smirked, slapping her hand against his. "Your turn, partner," she said, motioning him to take his position.

It was Gianna's idea to split the group into teams, that way both Gianna and Tashi could both somewhat get what they wanted, a fun but fierce competition. Art set his ball onto the green, getting into his stance and took aim.

"So, are we gonna talk about it?" he asked, the club solidly hitting the ball in the center.

Gianna frowned, "Talk about what?" she asked back, watching his ball stop just short of the hole.

Art turned around, an incredulous look crossing his face at her question.

"What happened in your hotel room," Art supplied as if it was the most obvious answer, before moving closer to his ball.

"Oh, that..." Gianna trailed off, following behind him. "What about it? What is there to talk about?" she questioned dismissively, twirling her club in her hand.

Just as the questions left her lips, Art tapped his ball into the hole with ease.

"That what happened between us is constantly replaying in my head 24/7," he explained, turning around again. "And it's torturous," he went on, his eyes desperate.

Gianna only blinked in response, genuinely perplexed on what Art wanted her to do or say about that.

"Well get it to stop," Gianna suggested lamely, lazily tossing one arm up. "I don't know what you want me to tell you," she added, with a shake of her head.

"Get it to stop?" he repeated, in disbelief while taking a step closer to her. "Gia, you gave me a handjob!" he exclaimed lowly, so only she could hear. "You can't do that to a guy and expect him to just forget it!" he insisted.

"What I did could hardly qualify as a handjob, Art," Gianna argued, her voice matching his. "It was one pump at max," she pointed out.

Gianna knew this was childish, to be arguing the technicalities of what is a handjob, but she needed to quash what she thought Art was poking at. They didn't need to talk about that ever again, it was… it was a good time, it basically meant nothing. All she had to do was bury her budding feelings deep down, and make an active effort to never acknowledge them again.

"Why did even tell me this, knowing I'm dating your best friend?" Gianna questioned, anger rising in her voice.

"Because despite that, I think you like me too," he countered, his frustration growing more palpable by the second.

"Look Art, we had some fun in my hotel room. You, me, and Patrick, we all did," she deflected, shaking her head again. "Fun," she emphasized.

"Fun? That's all that was?"

God, did she feel like a bitch, watching Art's face crumple made her almost reconsider everything, but she was in too deep now to back out now.

"In that instance, yes," Gianna answered bluntly, watching how that verbal blow knocked the wind out of him. "I'm sorry, did you think it was more?" she asked coldly.

With each word she uttered, it visibly pained Art and the lines in his forehead grew deeper and deeper. He looked like a kicked puppy, and god did she hate when he looked like that. Silence fell between them, the most uncomfortable silence of Gianna's life.

"Fuck! This was supposed to be a fun night!" she groaned, before turning away from Art and walking away from the hole they were at.

"You never denied it," Art remarked, his words were spoken softly, barely a whisper, but to Gianna they were deafening. So much so, that she abruptly froze mid step, her shoulders visibly stiffening. "That you had feelings for me," he finished quietly.

Gianna was like a deer in headlights. She had hoped the harshness of her words would cause Art to fail to notice what she didn't say. He was far more attentive than she realized. Swallowing uncomfortably, Gianna all but sprinted to where Tashi was, not daring to look back.

"Hey Tash," Gianna greeted, forcing a smile on her face as she approached her. "How's your game going? Where did Patrick go?" she questioned, praying she wasn't noticeably acting strange.

Tashi didn't bother looking up at her, "Oh, you know," she began, her voice monotone. "It goes," she answered, barely making an effort to hit the golf ball into the hole. It pitifully only moved a few feet from them. "Patrick, on the other hand went to buy food for us," she answered flatly.

Gianna felt her grip tighten around her club, "You know could at least make an attempt to actually try and have fun," she commented.

Tashi's head whipped up, a frown already etched on her face.

"I didn't want to come here in the first place, and you know that," Tashi stated, carelessly letting the golf club fall from her hand. "Fun, fun, fun. That's all you seem to care about now!" she snapped, folding her arms against her chest.

Gianna rolled her eyes, "Excuse me for daring to indulge in my newfound freedom from being under my dad's thumb for the first time in years," she responded sarcastically.

"I'm sure he'll be just thrilled to learn the placeholder for his own lost dreams immediately took her eyes off the prize the second he left her alone," Tashi said, a derisive chuckle leaving her.

"Fuck you! That's a low fucking blow even for you Tashi!" Gianna hissed, stabbing her finger in the air toward her best friend. "I pray you never find yourself in the same position which I've been put through," she wished.

Once upon a time, much like Gianna, her father was a talented tennis prodigy who was on the cusp of a promising career in the pros. However, just as his career started, it was snatched away within a blink of the eye with death of his father, forcing him to return home to take over the family horse ranch. And Gianna has had to suffer for circumstances beyond hers or her father's control ever since.

"You don't know what it's like, to have your own dad be your coach as well," Gianna went on, her fist balling up. "And being forced to reckon that you begin to see him as less of a father and only as a coach," she added, faintly feeling her nails digging into her palm.

"Poor fucking me, I'm Gianna Langdon who's had a silver spoon in my mouth since I could walk," Tashi mocked. "My life is so difficult because I have to play a sport I'm wonderful at and my dad has went above and beyond to make sure I excel at my craft, like having a fucking personal tennis court built in my backyard!"

"And you think that's a blessing?" Gianna asked, the pitch in her voice rising. "It was a curse! My own personal gilded cage, a constant reminder that I've never really had any say at all to explore life outside of tennis," she exclaimed, dropping her own club now.

"You like baking,"

"Ooh one whole hobby," Gianna deadpanned, raising her hands and shaking them. "You know what you're supposed to do at college besides learn?" She questioned. "Party and find yourself,” she listed, ticking them off with her fingers.

"You're at Stanford to play tennis on a full ride scholarship," Tashi reminded firmly.

"Well it's a good fucking thing I can multitask," Gianna retorted. "Come on Tashi, think about it. Outside tennis, what else do you and I do in our spare time? Talk about boys?" she said exasperatedly.

"Yes, and its worked for us this entire time. Why change now?" Tashi replied, a soft frown creasing her forehead.

"Because we were friends then, but now we're girlfriends—"

Tashi scoffed, "Girlfriends? You haven't even publicly came out and stated that we're dating," she pointed out.

Gianna could only bite her tongue, because Tashi was right, she hadn't. Although, she had her reasons, they were wholly self-serving, but there was logic behind them.

"I know you haven't told your mom," Tashi began. "And I know damn well you haven't said anything to your dad," she stressed. "So, what is it? Are you afraid of ruining your ‘golden child’ title if your parents find out you're queer?" she taunted.

"You think my parents care if I'm gay?" Gianna asked incredulously. "They've known Farrah is a lesbian for nearly two years now," she informed.

"She plays women's soccer, I'm positive your parents weren't surprised about that revelation," Tashi said dismissively. "The closet was made of fucking glass," she quipped.

If Gianna wasn't so frustrated and infuriated with Tashi, she would've laugh at Tashi's remark.

"Alright, fuck it, you want to know why I don't to want go public? Why I refuse to?"

"I'm waiting with bated breath," Tashi answered sarcastically.

"It's because I have a goddamn name and image to uphold," Gianna said frankly. "We both do," she added, her tone softening.

"Oh my god!" Tashi complained. "It's always about image with you, with your dad!" she snapped.

"I'm being pragmatic here and you know it, you're just being too stubborn to realize I'm right," Gianna claimed, crossing her arms.

"Billie Jean King, a tennis legend is an open lesbian,"

"Yeah, and did you skip over the part where she was forcibly outed, shunned, and lost all her endorsements soon after?" she shot back. "Do you want that fate for the both us when either of us have barely even made a start in our careers?" Gianna questioned, no trace of anger in her voice only sincerity.

Tashi never got the chance to respond as an arm snaked its way around Gianna's waist.

"Now, what are you doing around in these parts?" Patrick asked humorously. "Is Art doing that bad you had to switch sides?" he guessed.

Gianna looked over at him, "I came to see how you two losers were doing," she lied, grinning at him.

Her eyes found Tashi's once more, their argument from moments before still raging silently between in stares, and all the while Patrick is none the wiser. He didn't notice the obvious growing tension between his two girlfriends, between two best friends.

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

LOVE - Chapter 4

After getting back together, Janelle finds out thats she's pregnant. Follow along with Josh and Janelle as they deal with the highs and lows of her pregnancy.

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

Janelle is played by Justine Skye

Hopefully this is only 2 chapters but you know me lol it might be more.

Sequel to All I Need Is You: Read Here

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

TAGLIST: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci24 @jeyusos-girl @jeyusosgirl @melaninsugababy @baconeggndcheez @bemybabiibish @jstarr86 @nbanenefrmdao @purplehairgawdess @arination99 @alyyaanna @m3llowww @gomussy @jeysbae @hennyyybarb @babysyhsy @bebesobrielo

Janelle was now 8 months pregnant and she was loving every single minute of her pregnancy. Her dad was done with rehab and had moved into one of their guest rooms. Janelle was literally on cloud 9 and nothing could bring her down. 

 “It’s Josh’s mom's birthday. Do you want to come with us?’ Janelle asked her dad as she, Josh and Xavier were about to head out the door to Josh’s mom's house for her birthday party. 

“No, it’s okay. I don’t want to intrude.”  Josh sucked his teeth and passed her dad his shoes. 

“Come uce. You family.” Janelle’s dad smiled at Josh and followed them to the car. 

“You sure your mom won’t mind me being there?” 

“I’m sure, now come on”

Janelle had just walked out of the bathroom when she bumped into someone. “Shit sorry.” He said as he grabbed her arms to steady her

“It’s okay.” She said as she tried to walk around him but he grabbed her arm to stop her. 

 “Damn you are beautiful”  Janelle smiled  awkwardly and thanked the man. She had never seen him at any of the family functions before. She tried to walk away again  but he moved in the same direction she was trying to walk, blocking her. “What’s your name?” He asked and she narrowed her eyes a bit. Either he didn’t see that she was pregnant and wearing this big ass engagement ring or he just didn't care.  “Damn you scared to talk or somethin’?”  She tried to walk around him again but he gripped her arm.

“Ow, what the fuck.” She said, trying to snatch her arm away from him. 

“Yo!” Josh yelled and stepped in between Janelle and the mystery man. “The fuck is you doin’ here?!” 

“Ohh, this the new baby mama.” He said looking Janelle up and down, his gaze lingering on her breast. 

“What.are.you.doin.here” Josh repeated, pushing Janell behind him. 

“I’m here to see my nephew and I have a message from my sister.”  He said pulling a folded up envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to Josh. Janelle was even more confused now.  “I’ll be seeing yall” He said, giving Janelle one more lingering gaze before turning on his heels and walking away. 

Josh waited until the man was out of sight before turning to Janelle. “You alright?” He asked checking her wrist and arm for bruises.

“I’m fine. Who was that?” She asked, watching as he pulled out his phone to send a text. 

“Ximena’s brother.” He muttered, clenching his jaw. 

“Xavi’s mom?!” Janelle said with wide eyes. “What the letter say?” Josh handed her the letter. 

“I don’t even care.” He stressed.  Janelle opened the letter and her mouth hung open in shock. Ximena was taking Josh to court in order to get Xavier back in her care.  When she handed the letter over to Josh he bawled it up and threw it in the trash can in the bathroom. She was not taking his son away from him. 

When Janelle and Josh returned to the party Trinity and Maya ran over to them. 

“Are you okay?” Trinity asked the both of them. “Jon and Sefa just threw his ass out. How’d he even get in here?” 

“I’m fine.” Janelle said as she looked over at Josh who was looking around the party. 

“Anybody seen X?” Josh said. 

“Yeah, your mom has him inside. He’s fine.” Josh nodded and looked over at his brothers when they walked over to the group. 

“He said nobody invited him. Said he didn’t know it was a party and was just dropping off the envelope.” Jon said and Josh started to rub his temples. He didn’t feel like dealing with Ximena and her families bullshit. 

Josh stayed on alert for the rest of the night. He made sure to keep Xavier close to him. Ximena and her family were shady ass people. 

“Dad. I just wanna play with Jay.” Xavier pouted up at Josh. Josh went to tell him ‘no’ but Janelle stood up and grabbed Xavier's hand. 

“It’s fine. I’ll go over there with him.”  Josh tried to stop her but she just shook her head and walked Xavier over to the bouncy house. 

“You gotta relax Josh. She ain’t gon come here and  kidnap him.” Jon said, passing his brother a beer.  “And like you said earlier. She doesn’t know where y’all live at now. So everything is gonna be fine.” Josh didn’t say anything. He just sipped his beer and watched Janelle and Xavier. He knew that Ximena and her family were about to become a huge pain in the ass. 

“He’s gonna sleep in here with us?” Janelle asked as Josh was carrying a sleeping Xavier into their bedroom. Josh nodded and laid Xavier down next to Janelle. “Josh, it’s gonna be okay.”  Josh sighed. 

“Is it though? That’s his mom. You know how the court system is.” Janelle didn’t say anything because she knew he was right. Her mom had done the same thing and living with her mom was hell. She didn’t want the same for Xavi. 

“So what are we gonna do?”  Josh shrugged. 

“I don’t know Nelle.” He laid down and pressed a kiss to Xavi’s head and her belly. “But I’m gonna keep the three of you safe. No matter what.” 

Janelle woke up the next morning to an empty bed. She already had a bad feeling about today and she just wanted to stay in bed all day. 

Xavier smiled over at her when she entered the living room. “Morning mommy.” 

“Morning Xavi, where’s daddy?” He pointed towards the backyard. Josh was getting done with a phone call when Janelle walked outside. 

“Thanks Paul, I'll see you next week.”  Josh hung up the phone and walked over to Janelle, sitting down on the lounger with her. 

“Everything okay?” Josh nodded 

“Yeah, I talked to Paul. He’s letting me take the week off.”  He sighed,  “I’m going downtown tomorrow to talk to my lawyer to see what I can do.” 

“Do you want me to come?”  

“Nah. You 8 months pregnant. I need you to just stay here and relax.”  

“J, come here.” She said as she scooted over so that he could lay next to her. “I know you’re scared and I don’t know what you and Ximena have been through but I’m here for you, you're not doing this alone." She felt her heartbreak as some tears slid down his cheeks. 

“I don’t know what I would do If I lose him, Nelle.”  She reached over and wiped away his tears. 

“She just left him on my momma's porch. Didn’t say nothing to nobody. Now four years later she wants him back. I won’t let that happen.” 

Thank you for reading ❤️

[zukkacore]

This is easily. The height of the “Janelle you’re getting way too invested in a fictional character moments time to log off” things I’ve ever said about our piece of wet cardboard Jace stardiamond.

but I literally cannot stop thinking abt that animal crossing comic where the villager is like what if I told you that you were not real and they character responds with I think that’s great! That means someone put a lot of work into me so I could love you! In a way I’m a love letter to you from the universe! Wouldn’t you want to be a part of something so grand? And it’s like. He’s not real. It doesn’t even matter. But Jace is denied even that. He is in a world where god loves everybody except for him. Not even programmed with the purpose to provide someone joy, before or after Porter. Like. Shaking my head as I write jaceporter so that everyone knows I disapprove of determinism but also if he was going to be given a set path to follow couldn’t it at least have been a good one? He is a name to fill a roster

[pillowfriendly]

good golly gosh my music taste is just so cool and awesome

tagged by @anyboli - song for each of your url's letters!

P - Peev Shalpatine by Canadian Softball this lives in my head rent free i play it over the speaker at work and scream it. sorry about me

I - Immaterial by SOPHIE <3

L - Legend Has It by Run the Jewels

L - Lost by Amanda Palmer this song doesnt make me cry no u

O - Oh, Maker by Janelle Monáe song from a perfect album

W - The Wanting Comes in Waves / Repaid by The Decemberists perfect album #2

F - Freeze and Boil by Blackwater Railroad Company

R - Row Row by Zeal & Ardor

I - In Cauda Venenum by The Dear Hunter have you listened to the dear hunter. will you listen to the dear hunter. when will you listen to the dear hunter

E - Epona by Eluveitie one of my favoritest songs in da worlde

N - Northwest Passage by Unleash the Archers OH FOR JUUUST OOONE TIME. I WOULD TAAAKE THE NORTHWEST PASSAAAAGE

D - Distant Bells by Leprous

L - Long Long Silk Bridge by Susumu Yokota

Y - You Dont Own Me by Son Lux if a song has a marching band in it, its good

hee hee hoo hoo music gaem. baton pass @gallopinggallifreyans @crowbandit @iwishtobeafish @ferrocyan @asha-mage

[revelisms]

Silco, Sevika and Jinx Headcanons (music ver 🎵)

Since my playlists are running rampant (and they're largely how I get a sense for writing character voices/actions/etc.), I thought it'd be fun to share a few HC tidbits via some tunes :-)

Silco — aka the Bloodshark, the Eye, Mr. Crime Boss himself; the man, the myth, the slippery bastard. Also clocking in with nearly 8+ hours worth of songs for this sack of bones...I am...side-eyeing myself. Anyway.

Foundation — Sunlit Grave, Saint Mesa

This basically kickstarted the playlist earworm, for him. At a high-level, this is the song I think of anytime I write him: it's dark, eerie, regal, persevering. I always get an image of someone sinking beneath the depths at the beginning, and clawing out of a deathly cage/prowling to a bloody pinnacle by the end. The lyrics themselves also capture a flavor of his character, as a dead man speaking to someone (potentially his killer and/or lover) who knew him before; who must choose to let go of their knowledge of who that dead man used to be. He is gone, irreparably changed, and he's not coming back—and he'll drag a kingdom to its knees, by the end. (Maybe it's what landed him in that grave, in the first place.)

Inner Voice — The Wondersmith and His Sons, Astronautalis

This gives a sense of past and present: a glimpse into the hard-cracked persona he'd built in the mines (which I associate with folksongs, especially of an English or Gaelic nature), twisted up into the sly, scheming charisma he harnessed as co-founder of the Lanes. For me, the song paints a potential tale of childhood (the lyrics tell of a family of swindlers, from which the narrator is the cleverest son) and a foreboding hint into the future (too much grease can break down a machine; for all their success, a brutal end is eminent). It also just feels like him—it's growly, arrogant, and jovial; drawling in some moments, and spit-fired in others.

On The Record — Time & Place, Queens of the Stone Age

In terms of what he'd actually listen to (of which I think he'd have a extensive range, to the point of his tastes skewing past eclectic into downright bizarre), this would fit easily between a swath of blaring industrial rock, crooning big band classics, jazz, folk-tunes, experimental funk, r&b, etc. It's got that flavor of 80s post-punk vocals that would be a staple in his sets, with a snappy flare in the instrumentals (something he'd nod his head or tap his pen to)—and, funnily enough, has a slight echo to Snakes (Vi's and Jayce's fightsong), which...oddly fits, given I see him and Vi as actually very similar, at their cores.

Sevika — aka the Lioness, the Teeth, "step on me and I'll thank you for it" Miss King. She's badassery in a gilded package, baby—but there's a tender spot under it all, if you squint.

Foundation — Little Girl Gone, CHINCHILLA

Another song that kickstarted the playlist earworm. This is a baseball bat to the gut with prowess, swagger and Try That Again energy—and the transition of the whisper to the drop just hhh. Gets me every time. This song is the battle anthem from a woman who's earned her armor (fittingly, working under a gangster)—test her patience, and she'll be wearing red on her sleeve; dare to cross her in a fight, and she'll drink you down like liquor. I can visualize a snappy two-punch brawl every time I hear this.

Inner Voice — Milk, BONES UK

Dipping into that tenderness here, with a stark note of ceaseless ambition, we've got this song—a reflection, a demand, a love letter, a hunger. There's so many layers folded into this: the desires of a self-made life to be everything and more their host yearns for it to be, even if, underneath it all, what they truly yearn for is belonging. This feels like a young, angry, cropped-hair and bloody-fisted Sevika fighting down the world—and an older self looking fondly, if a touch melancholically, back on it all.

On The Record — Know Better, Janelle Monáe

Put her on the aux, and she'll have the dancefloor congealing into a neon haze of sweat and glitter. The mix of the sax and the bassline here just thrums with her energy, to me: self-assured, watchful, slow-smirking. It's often the kind of tracks she reaches for, especially for a crowd; she's got a bold streak in her, and it doesn't take much to stir it to full display (come here now, stranger; gimme that sense of danger).

Jinx — aka the Loose Cannon, the Bombshell, everyone's favorite lil' gremlin. I tend to interpret her character in distinct "phases"—i.e., Powder, Jinx, and Jinx post-shimmer. These also factor into what I musically associate with her; each piece of her character feels very distinct.

Foundation — BLOODMONEY, Poppy

This is like...the Jinx song, to me. It's about distrust, sacrifice, self-identity, denial, rage, all wrapped up in a spiteful bow of religious allegories—a flash-cycle of whose opinion she worships, at any given moment (when nobody is watching, what do you believe?). It's also just a sensory meal with the sound design, and could even match up with soundbites of her voice so easily.

Inner Voice — Crimson, Skott

Take a stroll into Powder building Jinx's persona from the ashes. This is a haunting, beautiful song, with an undercurrent of something fight-eager, spiteful, and hopeful brewing beneath the surface. In the wake of tragedy, there's still a thread of strength; someone picking up the pieces while trying to find a path back to their own mind. I almost hear this as an apology and declaration of war, in turns, from Jinx to Vi.

On The Record — BOOM, Cassyette.

You know this little metalhead is listening to any splitzy mechanical tracks she can get her hands on (fuels the inventor muse, y'know?)—and I think she'd love this. I mean, c'mon. It's a song about explosions, told through a narrator saying how slipping into different mental spaces feels like a bomb waiting to blow. I could see her jamming to this on loop in her workshop while tinkering with a new flare gun. (Also, as a close runner up, I associate anything Djerv with her, given they were the artist for Get Jinxed—she'd probably have things like (We Don't) Hang No More always on the gramophone, singing to it word for word.)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: june 2023

as promised (to myself) I spent all of gay months reading books by and/or about the gays, no exceptions! (unless you count the heaps of old Batman comics I was reading, but come on. it's all pretty fruity.) the trend will be continuing into July as well because I overshot and still have book I need to finish, so in the immortal words of Janelle Monáe: happy pride forever!

anyway, what have I actually been reading?

Empress of Forever (Max Gladstone, 2019) - man, I've been meaning to read this FOREVER! and I'm glad I finally did. Gladstone's space opera follows ultrawealthy tech genius Vivian Liao, a sort of dykey Lex Luthor who's CERTAIN that she's the good guy. okay, yes, she's trying to get control of the nukes, but she's not going to use them. it's just that the world's a mess and she needs to be in charge. unfortunately our girl Vivian doesn't get far in her master plan before she's transported across the galaxy and finds herself on the run from the all-powerful Empress in the company of a cybernetic monk named Hong and the legendary space pirate Zanj, the Empress' greatest enemy. from there our heroes are off on a slow, messy quest across the galaxy as they make new friends, grow as people, and strive to bring the Empress down. it's a very long book and can feel slow in places, but all of the time devoted to fleshing out the characters ultimately pays off as their stories converge into a resonant narrative about the notion of identity and what it means to be yourself. if you like Becky Chambers' Wayfarer books of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies, get on this shit.

also hey listen Max Gladstone is having a bit of a Moment rn; the book he coauthored with Amal El-Mohtar, This Is How You Lose the Time War, is getting a huge boost thanks to the Trigun (????) fandom??? over on Twitter, and you should definitely go check it out

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2016) - Ward is a brilliant queer feminist writer; rigorous and insightful while keeping her work imminently readable. while the title may sound facetious, Ward actually takes entirely at face value that there are men having sex with each other an engaging in otherwise homoerotic activities - mutual jerkoffs, hazing rituals that involve anal penetration - that sincerely aren't stemming from a place of gay desire and asks us what the fuck we're supposed to make of that. what results is a fascinating look at masculinity and the intricate rituals that both subvert and maintain it. shockingly thought provoking for a book that contains so many transcribed craigslist posts of men looking for straight guys to have totally normal hetero dudesex with!

The Latinos of Asia: How Filipinos Break the Rules of Race (Anthony Christian Ocampo, 2016) - I was lucky enough to get to see Ocampo (who is gay) speaking at the National Conference on Race and Ethnicity this year, and naturally I had to buy one of his books while I was there. I strongly suspect he's about to become one of my new favorite nonfiction writers, because the Latinos of Asia was a brilliant read that I really couldn't put down. Ocampo (who's also Filipino!) delves into the formation of Filipino-Americans' racial identity, and finds that many feel caught between the most conventionally accepted racial categories - feeling alienated from the idea of Asian identity, which is often perceived as pertaining to East Asians like Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans, and instead relating much more firmly to Mexican-Americans and other Latinos. it's a FASCINATING study on race and one (of many!) loopholes that exists in this very large, messy, totally made up construct of race.

A Lady for a Duke (Alexis Hall, 2022) - for my pride month romance novel I wanted to read something that I might actually like. I've previously adored Hall's genre-fucking ultra-queer Sherlock Holmes pastiche, the Affair of the Mysterious Letter, and Lady for a Duke was really well-reviewed, so my hopes were high! and you know what? I fucking loved this. it was like cotton candy, perfectly sweet and made to be inhaled without a second thought. Our Heroine Viola was the heir to an estate who faked her death at Waterloo so that she could run away and be herself - that's right baby, this is a 19th century trans lady romance! she reconnects with her old BFF the Duke of Gracewood, who's been catatonically depressed since losing his best friend in the war, and reader, you will not believe what happens next. just kidding, you totally will: they want to kiss each other so bad! they're yearning so bad and it's great. it's a very silly book and Gracewood is the most unexpectedly forward-thinking 19th century duke EVER who is instantly down to accept Viola entirely as a woman and thinks that having biological children is overrated, and you know what? that rules. I'm not reading this book for historical accuracy I'm reading it to watch a man beg his girlfriend to fuck him tenderly in the ass. and she does!!! if I'm being honest everything after they finally hook up is kind of nonsense and the book probably is too long, but god it's a delightful time.

Chlorine (Jade Song, 2023) - back in the days of twitter I started following Jade Song as soon as they announced selling this book, the story of a competitive high school swimmer succumbing to obsession as she fantasizes about becoming a mermaid. finally getting to pick up the book from the library and actually read it felt crazy after existing in potentia for so long! while Song's novel is a little rough in some places in exactly the way I expect from a debut, it's still gripping and visceral. our protagonist lives in an intense and demanding world, striving to please an overly handsy coach, wanting to please the immigrant parents she can barely speak to, stumbling through sex with boys on her team while longing for her female best friend. through it all she fixates on mermaids, and the story is told in flashbacks building up to a drastic act of self-mutilation at a swim meet. it's definitely not the right book for the faint of heart or anyone looking for feel-good fluff, but it's harrowing in the best way.

Vagabonds! (Eloghosa Osunde, 2022) - gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous! Osunde celebrates queer life - those called vagabonds, society's outliers - in Lagos, Nigeria, slipping between the real world of social stigma, oppressive religion, judgmental family, and dangerous politics, and the world of magic, gods, and the unreal, blending the two together in an effortlessly dizzying effect. the ultrawealthy hide behind layers of flawless masks to conceal their identities, a lonely woman dying of cancer summons up a daughter than only she can see, and a young man channels the devil to raise his murdered lover. while the stories start bleak, firmly establishing the danger of life on the margins, they gather speed with increasing warmth and love as the story progresses, eventually bringing all of our protagonists together in glorious, life-affirming celebration of vagabonds and all who love them. Nigeria, in Osunde's hands, reads much like family - imperfect, sometimes even awful, but also capable of harboring tremendous love, surprising tenderness, and still worth holding out hope for. I think measuring books in terms of relatability is a fool's game, but as an American queer watching more and more legislation and persecution roll out against my people each day, it was hard not to feel a cord being struck. Vagabonds! is a beautiful reminder that queer resilience is eternal, and reader, I did cry.

Quietly Hostile (Samantha Irby, 2023) - I was a ride or die bitch for Sam Irby even before she picked up and moved to my small Michigan city, effectively becoming my neighbor. (not really, but she is married to the mother of a friend of a friend, so.) despite this, I will freely admit that I was a little underwhelmed by her last release, 2020's Wow, No Thank You. it's possible that WNTY was damned by its March 2020 release, putting it in the awkward position of being a humorous essay collection creeping out into the world at a time when everyone was paranoid and nothing was funny; maybe on a reread I would receive it a bit more warmly. Quietly Hostile, on the other hand, is just stupid funny right out of the gate. Sam Irby is old (see: in her early 40s) and going downhill, writing candidly about peeing her pants everywhere, adopting a rancid little dog, getting sent to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction, and jacking off to plot-heavy porn of elderly lesbian nuns. it takes a little bit of work to get me to actually laugh out loud at a book but man, I was chortling. if you don't already know her work, this is a sign from god (me) to check Samantha Irby out now.

what am I reading now?

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - the was one of the oldest queer novels(TM) on my list and I really wanted to knock it out for pride month. the Malaysian setting and culture is a welcome addition to contemporary urban fantasy, but I'm not sure I'm crazy about the story overall. and yet, I'm over 200 pages deep and don't want to give up, so ? I guess I'm persisting.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - my local library lost their copy just in time for pride month, so I bought one on ebay for all of nine dollars. haven't started yet, but I'm really excited to finally pop that proverbial Baldwin cherry!

[onedegreeofsoniccomics]

Mickey Mouse Shorts: Season One #1: "Third Wheel"

Source Material Writers: Derek Dressler, Clay Morrow, Paul Rudish, & Aaron Springer

Original Adaptation Writer: Janelle Asselin

Art: Screencaps from the source material

Comic Layout: John Green

Adaptation Rewrites for IDW: Scott Tipton

Letters: Nicole & Travis Seitler

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I saw “Glass Onion” a few days ago with one of my cousins. Just some miscellaneous thoughts:

1) I hope Jeremy Renner has seen the movie. If he hasn’t, he definitely should once he gets out of the hospital.

2) Some of the cameos were…random. Like, yes, the role of “vaccination checker” definitely needed the talent of Ethan Hawke to bring out the complex layers of the role. But seriously, it feels like some of the actors were just bored and had a free day to help Rian Johnson out.

3) I did like how the movie was structured. It was sort of a pseudo-Rashomon where instead of conflicting accounts, we were just not seeing the full picture because we were not aware of a different character’s POV. It’s actually clever.

4) If I had to nitpick, I was a little annoyed that Benoit Blanc was written in a way that he just happens to know the answer to everything. Yeah, I know, he’s the detective, but the way he’s written in the movie makes him feel omnipotent. It’s fun to figure the mystery out along with the character, so it’s a little disappointing when the mystery is just solved for the audience, if that makes sense. It’s like they’re telling us what was happening instead of showing, which isn’t necessarily a deal breaker, but can still be annoying.

5) My cousin: “Jessica Henwick was just vibing in the movie lol. Everyone else had these big dramatic roles, and then there’s Jessica just showing up every now and then.”

6) Rian Johnson claims this movie isn’t about Elon Musk…but I feel Musk had to have inspired this movie a teensy bit. Maybe that’s just Rian covering his ass so he doesn’t get sued for defamation.

7) Amogus

8) If I had to pick a cast member who stood out, I’d obviously pick Janelle Monae. But Batista definitely gets second place, he really killed it as Filipino/Greek Andrew Tate.

9) Okay, another nitpick. I liked the overall movie, but I did not like the “look how quirky I am!” tone that Johnson was going for. It’s fine for the first third of the movie, but just becomes obnoxious as the movie goes on. I would’ve preferred a more mature, grounded mystery, but hey, that’s just me.

Overall review: As someone who didn’t care for “Knives Out” (I think I gave that movie a letter grade of C or C-), I thought “Glass Onion” was a massive improvement. The mystery was better thought out, the characters were more engaging, and, aside from Jessica Henwick, the cast was better utilized. I just would’ve preferred less quirkiness and a climax that wasn’t just Daniel Craig explaining the mystery. So, for a letter grade, I give it an A-.

[llovelymoonn]

can i request a weaving about a friendship that’s coming up behind and wrapping your arms around each other in the kitchen and top of the head kisses and picking flowers and putting them behind the other’s ear and i love yous before you go to bed and everything a romance is minus the romance itself? (this is for the same friend i requested the bees for i love her a lot and thank you so much for that one it was perfect 💛)

doc luben 14 lines from love notes or suicide letters \\ janelle monáe dirty computer [emotion picture] (2018) (via @everythingeverywhereallatonce) \\ matthew dickman long division \\ ross gay bringing the shovel down: “a poem in which i try to express my glee at the music my friend has given me” \\ christy powers back again \\ kathy gales sunlight gardens \\ e.e. cummings complete poems: 1094-1962: "[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in)]"

kofi

[twwpress]

Weekly Press Briefing #86: February 11th - 17th

Welcome back to the Weekly Press Briefing, where we bring you highlights from The West Wing fandom each week, including new fics, ongoing challenges, and more! This briefing covers all things posted from February 11 – February 17. Did we miss something? Let us know; you can find our contact info at the bottom of this briefing!

Challenges/Prompts:

Do you have a challenge or event you’d like us to promote or know of one we’re missing? Be sure to get in touch with us! Contact info is at the bottom of this briefing.

@thefinestmuffin and @JessBakesCakes are hosting the 3rd Annual Josh/Donna Rom-Com Fest. The fest revealed on February 14, but prompts and claims are still open and fics can still be added to the collection. Details here.

This Week in Canon:

Welcome back to This Week in Canon, where we revisit moments in The West Wing that occurred on these dates during the show’s run.

Season 1, Episode 15: Celestial Navigation aired on February 16, 2000.

Season 2, Episode 14: The War At Home aired on February 14, 2001.

Season 4, Episode 15: Inauguration: Over There aired on February 12, 2003.

Season 6, Episode 15: Freedonia aired on February 16, 2005.

Photos/Videos:

Here’s what was posted from February 11 - February 17:

Amy Landecker posted a screenshot of Josh Lyman in sunglasses. 

Amy Landecker posted photos of her and Brad’s dog Angie, including photos of each of them with the dog. 

Bradley Whitford posted a photo of his wife Amy with one of their dogs, along with a sweet Valentine’s Day message. 

Dulé Hill posted a photo from the TCAs where he was talking about his upcoming show “The Express Way with Dulé Hill”, a four part docu-series airing on PBS beginning April 23. 

Dulé Hill posted photos of himself and his wife Jazmyn continuing their Valentine’s Day oyster tradition. 

Janel Moloney posted a photo of her beagle Ollie eyeing her son’s birthday breakfast. 

Josh Malina posted a photo of himself donating platelets.

Josh Malina posted a cast photo from the 1992 National Tour of A Few Good Men. 

Marlee Matlin posted a photo of herself at the Academy Nominee Luncheon (she is a Governor). 

Mary McCormack posted photos of her daughter Rose playing live at the Whisky a Go Go as part of a benefit for HEARTbeats. 

Melissa Fitzgerald posted a photo of herself with her pup for Valentine’s Day. 

Richard Schiff posted a photo of himself with his wife Sheila for Valentine’s Day. 

Rob Lowe posted a photo of himself and his wife on bicycles in celebration of Valentine’s Day. 

Rob Lowe posted photos of himself at Santa Barbara International Film Festival with Robert Downey Jr. and Cillian Murphy. 

Donna Moss Daily: February 11 | February 12 | February 13 | February 14 | February 15 | February 16 | February 17

Daily Josh Lyman: February 11 | February 12 | February 13 | February 14 | February 15 | February 16 | February 17

No Context BWhit: February 11 | February 12 | February 13 | February 14 | February 15 | February 17

@twwarchive: February 11 | February 12 | February 13 | February 14 | February 15 | February 16 | February 17

@twwgifs: February 11 | February 14

Editors’ Choice: 

This week, we’re bringing you some of our favorite fics that touch on what could have been: here are a few of our favorite canon divergence fics!

i want your complications too by thefinestmuffins for JessBakesCakes | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss, Amy Gardner/John Tandy | In progress | What could have happened between Josh and Donna during Dead Irish Writers if Josh and Amy had never really gotten off the ground? Canon-divergent from 100,000 Airplanes. In Whatever Way You Need by TemperanceCain | Rated T | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | Complete | C.J. has a problem. Margaret offers a solution. before i forget by jazzjo | Rated G | C.J. Cregg, Talmidge Cregg | Complete | standing at the fork in the road, c.j. chooses her father and ohio, at least for now. or,  a love letter to my grandmother let my love fix you up (when you’re coming undone) by JessBakesCakes for hufflepuffhermione | Rated T | Josh Lyman/Donna Moss | Complete | The Gaza Arc reimagined: what if Sam flew to Germany to make sure his friends didn't miss their third chance? love is not a victory march by epigraphs | Rated G | C.J. Cregg/Simon Donovan | Complete | On a bench in Times Square, surrounded by lights and sounds and sights and people, she lets herself fall apart. The Deepest of Needs by deandratb for broken_hearted_bard | Rated T | C. J. Cregg/Toby Ziegler | Complete | His proposal is a failure, his job is only getting harder. At least his best friend isn't going anywhere. Begins the night after “7A WF 83429.”

This week's fics coming in the reblog!

[whoblewboobear]

💖🖊📥 📊 💭 🍰 🌝 hi I couldn’t help myself I got carried away

AWHHH THANK U, JANELLE 💖🥹

~

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I always love the dialogue~ it’s usually what I start with and build out around it. I’ll just be driving and a convo between like Jace & Porter will come to mind. It really sets a scene and a tone of voice for each character. I love it, like of my dialogue doesn’t make me feel something it’ll get rewritten until it feels right.

🖊️ Post a snippet from a current WIP

This is from part 2 of Religion’s in your lips 👏👏 my beloved period fic that purely exist for Zara to give Jace head while he’s on his period

“I’m staying.. For him,” he breathes. “Plan’s off.” Zara rolls her eyes, using her heel to push Porter back a bit.

“What changed? It has taken minutes to go back on what you’ve planned for how long? Years?” She couldn’t just accept something nice when it fell into her lap, could she?

“Zara, hear him out. There’s more,” Jace beams. Porter groans, glancing back at Jace. “You tell her, it’s your thing.”

“No, it’s technically your thing,” Jace corrects. 

“I-“

“Porter doesn’t mind sharing!” Jace blurts out before clamping a hand over his mouth. “Sorry!” 

“So I’ve been told. Under far more professional circumstances.. And yet I still see jealousy. Jace, my dear. I appreciate the enthusiasm, I do,” she smiles at him before turning her attention back to Porter, frowning. “But I do not want a relationship with you. One time was enough.” Rude. He wasn’t that bad of a lay, he was just off his game that night. Besides, Jace never complained. 

(I love when Zara is so mean to Porter 💖 it’s how she flirts)

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

I absolutely love seeing comments on Wiiimdfy I love seeing which parts people really enjoyed. It always makes my day! Yours are always so incredibly sweet too aghhh~~

📊 Current number of WIPs

just 3~ Wiiimdfy, Religion’s in your lips, and then the fashion model!Jace au. I’m always writing little blurbs too

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

ough so I have this teeny tiny headcanon that ZaraJacePorter will be endgame in wiiimdfy timeline. It’s way too far out of the scope of wiiimdfy itself and the place Jace and Porter will end up. This is their story but it’s also setting me up if I wanna write more in the future about Zarajace and how they navigate that with Porter being back. I think they buy a house together somewhere nice and live out their days happily.

🍰 Name one of your fave comfort fics

Oooh! So I used to be a huge 1d!Larrie and I swear the fic Another Hazy May by deLILAh is so sweet and lovely. I haven’t read it in a while but I need to come back to it. It’s so sweet. Also omg Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark it’s a beautiful Larry fic that weaves in really well with the hunger games universe. For years it felt like such a great companion piece to the original hunger games trilogy. It’s so beautiful and it fits so well. Louis and Finnick are friends in it and it makes me so happy. It’s such a love letter to the hunger games through the lens of a boy and placed into the world. Looove it 💖

🌝 Who is one character you haven't yet written for that you would like to?

OOOOOOH. Now that I’m into IWTV I’d love to write something for Claudia 🤧 I need to get into her head I just adore her. I’d also like to write from Zara’s perspective! Maybe something with just her and Jace meeting in a city and being friends to lovers roommates 🤧 I wanna make Jace soooo gender too. Maybe it’s a cute college au and they’re going BCU. Lots of nights out and just vibes ughhh I need it now.

[antoine-triplett]

Tagged by @robbiedaymonds to post about what you’re reading right now! Thanks bud 💖

…

Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuinston - This book is adorable. Some passages are really moving, especially the letters Alex and Henry write to each other. The way it addresses different struggles with mental health pleasantly surprised me. It’s pure fantasy, but in a fun way. Alex’s penchant for hyperbole can be hard to swallow sometimes, but you get used to it the more you get invested in the characters.

Slumber from Image Comics - I picked this up because the comic shop up the road had a poster of the cover of issue #1 in their window for a while and it kept catching my eye. The story itself is somewhat chaotic and maybe trying a bit too hard to be edgy/different while actually recycling a bunch of tropes - angry female main character with a dead daughter/death wish, rugged detective guy who doesn’t play by the rules and is haunted by his dead brother, manic pixie demon guy who can kill anything and speaks only in sarcastic one-liners… nothing we haven’t seen before on every sci-fi show. The art was worth the price of admission though.

Memory Librarian from Janelle Monae - Dirty Computer is one of my all-time favorite albums and this book didn’t disappoint. The collaborative nature of it is wonderful and compliments the message. People should be freaking out over Janelle Monae more honestly, she’s doing some super cool shit as an artist.

Six Stories by Matt Wesolowski - My best friend (who is an extremely avid reader) has been obsessed with this book for years. Finally got around to borrowing it and damn… I was tearing up in the first chapter because I was so excited to keep reading. It’s a thriller (the plot revolves around a murder mystery) so it might not be for everyone, but I get her obsession now, haha.

These Ghosts Are Family by Maisy Card - Randomly picked this up at the library and got sucked in immediately. The way the story unravels in pieces keeps the tension up even when there’s not much happening in a particular passage; you never know what might be significant later. Full of rich, complicated characters that you get to know little by little.

Haven by Emma Donoghue - Big fan of this author and this book was different from her other ones but I loved it. It’s about three Irish monks in the year 600. Lots of themes and descriptions involving nature and old fashioned survival techniques, both of which interest me a bunch. It’s kind of a character study of these three people with only one thing in common which was interesting. They all have an intense faith in God, but it shapes their lives and thoughts so differently. Got it from the library but ended up buying my own copy!

…

Tagging some folks if you want to share: @thelettersfromnoone @mollywog @unreal-unearthing @thegunlady @loungemermaid and anyone else that wants to post what you’ve been reading lately! Tell meeeee!

[leakism]