#a hug would be nice right now

[rabbit-chicken-witch]

The reason they are so beautiful, is because they are in love.

Whether it be another, an object, life, or whatever.

Love looks good on them.

And i cant help but be a moth attracted to the light.

Even if i am just a bug. It is warm.

[fungi-maestro]

Happy tdov to fat trans people. 🏳️‍⚧️ Biggest thing that helped me as a trans kid was seeing older fat trans people. There were a lot of really irritating "advice" posts going around early in my time on the internet with a lot of misinformation in them, but one that I constantly saw (in addition to people claiming you should wear your pants rediculously low or only wear button ups) were posts saying you had to lose weight to transition. Can confidently confirm that is completely untrue. 👍

[walkingstackofbooks]

After "meeting" Lisa Cusak, Julian finds he wants to get something off his chest that's been weighing him down for the longest of times. Unfortunately for Miles, it's two in the morning.

Hurt/comfort. CW: suicidal ideation.

--

They'd both been lying in silence for nearly an hour, but just as Miles was finally beginning to drop off to sleep, Julian's voice drifted up from the bottom bunk.

"Chief?"

Miles didn't bother to stifle his groan. "Yeah?"

"Do you—Do you ever think about dying?"

The unexpectedness of the question gave Miles pause, but after a second he scoffed, shaking his head. He was too tired for this.

"Go to sleep, Julian."

"But do you?

"'Course I do. We're in the middle of a bloody war."

Julian fell silent for a few seconds. Then Miles heard the sound of covers being pulled back and found himself looking into the anxious face of Julian Bashir.

"That's not quite—I meant, like... do you ever still have Agrathi thoughts about dying?" Julian asked quietly, eyes searching Miles' face, before darting down towards his feet.

"Bloody hell," grumbled Miles, sitting up and banging his head on the ceiling for his troubles. "It's two in the morning, Julian. What's brought this on?"

It was a stupid question, really. He knew the answer before the words had even left his mouth.

"I just... can't stop thinking about Captain Cusak, I guess," Julian says. "And some of the things she said. About talking to people, you know?"

"And you think I need to talk about this."

Julian shrugged. "I don't know. Do you?"

Taking a deep breath, Miles gave Julian the most reassuring smile he could muster - which was probably still more of a grimace - and shook his head. "I promise you, if I got that way again, I'd tell you, or Keiko: and she'd make me tell you. Go back to bed and stop worrying. I'm fine."

In all honesty, it was nice that Julian cared enough to ask - but it would be even nicer if it weren't in the middle of the freaking night, and so with that, Miles pulled up his blankets, rolled over, demonstrating to Julian what going to bed looked like. To his credit, Julian took the hint, and Miles soon heard the sounds of crumpling sheets and mattress creaks.

Peace returned, but that was far from enough to lull Miles back into even a comfortable doze. While he'd been quite honest in answering Julian's question, he couldn't help feeling like he'd missed something. The longer he lay there, the more uncomfortable he got with the silence below him.

By the time he'd figured out what it was, he was almost certain Julian must have fallen asleep - but that was no real deterrent.

"Do you?" he asked, into the darkness. The response came almost immediately.

"What?"

"Do you, you know... ever get those thoughts?"

"A bit." He could hear the hesitation in Julian's voice. "A lot, actually. Sometimes."

Miles' heart dropped. "For how long?"

"How long's a piece of string?"

"What's that meant to mean?"

When Julian didn't respond, Miles sat up again, intending to peer over the side of the bunk at his friend.

"What's that meant to mean?" he repeated, and - realising he was not nearly flexible enough to peer over the edge - swung his legs over the side of the bed and climbed down.

Julian was moving again, shuffling across, clearly making room for Miles to sit next to him. "Sorry, Chief," he said. "I didn't mean to worry you. I just... I was just thinking about it, that's all. Not—not that - about telling you, I mean."

"You're avoiding the question," Miles said gruffly, and Julian looked away.

"It means—It means I can't remember. Feelings... they're more difficult to pinpoint than events. I just don't know, Miles."

Miles frowned. "Not even an estimate? A few months? A year? Two?"

A bitter laugh escaped Julian, one that Miles really didn't like. "Try twenty," he replied, the number slipping off the tip of his tongue like it was nothing.

Twenty years was not nothing. Twenty years was a lifetime in an Argrathi prison. For Julian, twenty years was a lifetime. Period.

"Since you were a teenager?"

Julian shrugged. "Thereabouts."

Miles looked at him, really looked, at the well-worn lines creasing his friend's face, the ones he'd thought had only appeared with the onset of war. At his dark, sad eyes that Miles could remember being full of youth and hope and light. How could he reconcile that Julian with a teenager who—

Oh.

"The enhancements?"

His voice was quiet, as though that would make this conversation any easier on Julian.

"They didn't help."

"You... you didn't ever—"

"Do you really want to know?" Julian interrupted, his eyes hard and tired and wet with unspent tears. Miles was tired too; his heart was sore and his friend was far too complicated.

"Why start this if you don't want to tell me anything?" he asked.

"I have told you something!" Julian replied incredulously. "I'm just - I didn't expect you to make a whole conversation out of it!"

"Hah, as though you never made me talk after Argra—"

"That was different," Julian argued. "I was there, I saw you— I stopped you. This was years ago."

"So you did..."

Julian let out a long exhale, a sure sign that Miles had won the argument. If you could call it winning.

"Yeah," he said eventually. "Not immediately, but yes. With everything else that had been bubbling up over the years, when I found out what my parents had done..."

"Everything else?" Miles had thought that his voice couldn't get any softer, that his heart couldn't break any further. He'd been wrong.

Julian gave snort and a shake of his head. "We're not going there."

"Right."

Miles didn't know what else to say. What was there to say to that? A completely new history of Julian Bashir had been uncovered, one that Miles should surely have been able to discover before: if only he'd thought more deeply, asked more questions, been less afraid to entangle himself in awful, messy, emotional conversations like this...

"God, you were only fifteen—"

"Sixteen," Julian corrected, "by the time I actually tried—"

"Great. Sixteen," Miles repeated with a mirthless chuckle. "Because that makes it so much better."

Julian snorted, his face contorting into some strange sort of half-grin, and then he was laughing, and then he was crying, and Miles was holding him close, rocking him and soothing him and pretending not to be quietly terrified.

When Julian finally sat up, wiping his face roughly with his sleeve, they both looked away from each other, as though a lack of eye contact was enough to pretend that no emotional outburst had just happened.

"Seems to me," Miles said, standing up, "that you owe me a promise."

"Probably," yawned Julian, laying back down. Miles wasn't sure why he was bothering. Neither of them were going to get any sleep now.

But he guessed they had to try. "So do you?" he asked, as he clambered back into his own bed.

"I promise," came the quiet response. "I'll tell you, or Jadzia, or the captain, if—if... You know."

"Yeah. I know."

The room was silent once more, but only for a few minutes.

"Miles?"

Miles hated the way his heart started to jackhammer as soon as he heard Julian.

"Mmm?"

"Captain Cusak was right, wasn't she. It is good to talk."

"I'm not sure she meant we should substitute it for sleeping."

"I'm glad we did, though. I feel better now. Lighter."

I don't, thought Miles, but he couldn't say that. Julian's confession was a burden he'd gladly carry if it gave his friend even an ounce of peace.

"That's good," he said instead.

"I'd do the same for you, you know. Listen, I mean. If you want to—"

"I know."

"I know you don't like talking but—"

"Julian," Miles groaned. "I love you, but there's a time and a place and we both need to get some bloody sleep before it becomes morning again."

For a minute, Miles thought it had worked.

"Miles?"

Maybe if he stayed quiet, Julian would think he'd fallen asleep.

"Chief?"

Although, knowing Julian, he could probably tell if he was faking from hearing his ruddy heartbeat or something.

"Miles," Julian hissed. "What did that mean, 'you love me'?"

Well that settled it. Heartbeat or no, Julian would definitely not be getting any more responses from him.

"Miles?"

The bunk shook slightly, but thankfully it seemed Julian wasn't getting out again, only turning over and settling down. Miles dared to start counting sheep again.

"Don't worry, Chief," came the quietest of whispers. "I know you meant it."

[monstermoviedean]

if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I've always felt that it'd be Killua who initiates the first hug we see between him and Gon

[koka-mi]

najdbdhdjeh I wanna be held while I sleep so badly tbh it sounds so much more relaxing :'D

[luescris]

I JUST WATCHED THE NEW AHSOKA EPISODE AND I'M GOING INSANE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

OH MY GOD EZRA!!!! EZRA!!!!!!!!! HIS ACTOR DID HIM SO WELL HOLY SHIT AND THE WAY HE WAS ALL LIKE "the force is my ally" I WAS BEGGING TO SEE HOW HE FIGHTS NOW AND HE FIGHTS SO GOOD LIKE LOOK AT THIS

THE WAY HE HOLDS THE SABER WITH JUST THE FORCE?!!?!!?? HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS LOOKED SO GOOD, IMO THE BEST FIGHT SCENE THAT WE GOT SO FAR

THE WAY THE LIGHTSABER'S BLADE IS REACTING TO IT TOO AUAGAUAGSUG I'M GONNA BE SICK!!!

AND ALSO ALSO LIKE HOW AHSOKA WAS CRADLING EZRA'S FACE????! LIKE WHEN SHE LAST SAW HIM HE WAS EIGHTEEN AND NOW HE'S ALL GROWN UP AND I'M SO SOFT THE WAY SHE LAUGHED I CAN'T 😭😭😭 I COULD REWATCH THAT PART FOREVER OH MY GOD

I do wish that he somehow got another lightsaber BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT DOES MAKE SENSE CUZ HE WAS LIVING WITH A PEACEFUL RACE AND PEACEFULLY FOR LIKE YEARS SO I CAN UNDERSTAND IT BUT LIKE. MAN I HOPE HE GETS ANOTHER SABER OF HIS OWN SOON PRETTY PLEASE DISNEY

I LOVE HIM USING JUST THE FORCE TO FIGHT BUT HIS SKILL WITH THE SABER IS UNMATCHED

GOD I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HAPPY I AM ABOUT EZRA'S PORTRAYAL IN THIS SHOW IT MAKES ME WANT RO CRY I MISSED HIM SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭😭

[hellodarlingelly]

.

[hauntingblue]

Episode 8 I am so scared....

[itsalwaysdark]

loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

im so grateful for all you of btw

[ghosts-of-love]

u know when you write a whole bunch of fanfic and then u have to stop abruptly bc you're like wow okay i'm a bit too lonely for this or, god forbid,, horny

[clownsnake]

I don’t think hyeonseong needed to remember dokja’s order to think about him if something goes wrong. I think he’s just always thinking abt dokja

and I love him for that

[vanlegion]

RvB Wip Roadmap

I will say this: S19 Sure as hell gave me so many things to work on! This is all my current WIPs! :D

That's nine things alone and not even counting all the other dumb ass ideas filling up my brain right now, or plot bunnies for little fics I wanna write.

Least I'll be busy for some time. Gotta admit I'm still gonna work on that comic but I've lost the anger that was driving it - which I think is a good thing overall, so it allows me to rework it and flesh it out, BUT that also means it'll be a little longer and the original idea gets changed up a bit. I'll leave you with one of the funny ideas I'm working on. SO... Let's say 19 is the rudimentary TLDR ending - flesh it out a bit better to accommodate (like we get the kick ass fight in SoC, Doc dies saving Wash but it's also a touching scene between him and Donut, Sarge dies but it was a little different, Grif still leaves, and a few other things): Well Church did say he had recorded more than one message so what if he recorded messages for everyone BUT ALSO decided hey these fucks might get bored, so he leaves them all the simulations he did [Basically S14-17] that's like 4-5 hours of recorded content SO everyone gets to sort of get those simulations almost as if reliving memories. Tucker's the only one who gets S18. There's always work-arounds to getting the most satisfying results... I feel like this is one of them. Slightly adjusting certain elements in 19 and giving them the "memories" vs trying to slot it in after 17 is a bit more of a comprise for me personally but I can still make it work.

[mitamicah]

It is not often I can stay away from sharing the joy of music and songwriting at an open mic event - today was one of those nights unfortunately...

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

Your f-cking!!!!!! YOU DID SO MANY THINGS FOR THIS SHIP... bestshot/edgejeanist/edgeshot x best jeanist. My sir I am eating the computer for your work. Best. Most content. I asked for a meal and you have feasts on your acc !! (srry for swearing again this happening a lot now)

1 - Congrats on your acca term end ! so many acca things happening for everyone

2 - I saw your collab w/ someone else, the rlly good writer. Pls keep it up there is not enough content! ! !!

3 - Pls tell me more abour your Pirate AU and your AUS, I love pirates

4 - Birthday art !! GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS. Did not know who Ectoplasm was until this. Did not know he had a face and a boyfriend

5 - Your ART. F-king amazing. Thx u

ANON oh my goodness hello!!! Thank you so much I genuinely needed to hear this right now— this did startle me when it came into my inbox but you really made my day <3333

I am so glad you found us and that you are enjoying the content :D

(I’ve have been here making stuff for edgejeanist and ectoloader for over 3 years now and I ain’t planning on stopping any time soon so there will always be more >:D /lh)

But :D!!!!! In response to you:

1) I am not familiar with what that means or is but thank you (?)

2) yes!! I believe you mean @laughteronsilverwings, and the Therapy Fic we are working on together- don’t worry, there are plenty of potential other things to come I am sure

3) OOOH I have a post coming for this, a small doodle on the way soon 🫡 for pirate au though, summary: plenty of cursed treasure magical pirate shit with drama, fun, action and romance heheh

4) thank you! Yes! Ecto is wonderful and one of my favourite characters, and ectoloader is simply just one of the other ships that I adore with my whole heart (equally to edgejeanist at this point)

5) Absolute hearts and love to you, sweet anon, thank you so much.

But !!! Thank you for popping in, anon, you made my day- and of course, are welcome at any time to pop by whenever you would like to :] <3