#a hard day at the lumberjack factory

[lokisgoodgirl]

Please just look at how slutty he is.

He's so slutty I'm gonna die 😩so innocent with his thick, spread thighs and little frown that says I'm going to spank you so hard for that comment when we get home

Sigh.

I'm not even going to comment on the sluttish unbuttonings. Edit: Actually, I lied. WhY mUsT he B ThIs wAy I kind of like how he's dressed like a normal dude™️ who has come home from work exhausted from a long day at the lumberjack factory and sitting on the couch trying to decide whether to have a nap or a wank. 🤣🤣

Annnyway happpppy Tuesday folksies @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @gigglingtigger @mochie85 @vbecker10 @superficialdomina @lovelysizzlingbluebird @simplyholl @coldnique @maple-seed @muddyorbsblr @sarahscribbles @lokiprompts @give-me-a-moose @cake-writes @lokikissesmyforehead @fictive-sl0th @holdmytesseract @multifandom-worlds @psychospore @littlespaceyelf @liminalpebble @plushcrushdoll @thomase1 @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @meowmeow-motherfucker @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @holymultiplefandomsbatman +++❤️

[noodyl-blasstal]

Hallmark Hate Club Part 1/2- Chapters 1-6

Hey - hey you! Wanna read the first 6 chapters of Hallmark Hate Club? Well great news, you can! The rest will be up tomorrow and boxing day.

Find them on A03, read Chapter 1 below:

At its peak, the Hallmark Hate Club had thrived. Seven years in though? Membership was thin on the ground.

It was easy to set up back then, December in Rockport was characterised by the inability to move without stumbling into busy professionals from Neverwinter looking for lumberjacks and bakers to save them from burnout. It was understanding that people were peeved to find the streets littered with big city adults with big city jobs who didn’t understand small town charm. Taako, and Lup hated it. Passionately. Magnus and Sloane used to hate it too… December was already busy, what with trying to get last minute orders together; baking endless sugar cookies; brewing endless cups of cocoa for cold nosed ice skaters who were giggly and love drunk; and definitely absolutely positively not laundering any money. It sucked, it sucked hard.

Taako and Lup were the founding members, Magnus joined soon after, and Sloane was a shoo in when she explained to Taako that she’d need to set up a regular cookie order with him because of the amount of lawyers who had suddenly started hanging around her cocoa stand (which definitely wasn’t a front for anything illegal, she just didn’t want a load of lawyers in her hair all the time - that was perfectly reasonable) relentlessly ordering things.

They’d had fifteen in their heyday and it was great, they supported each other whenever someone from the business factory skidded adorkably on their floors, or when they had to refuse to take anyone from out of town anywhere near an ice rink. It worked too. They watched horror movies and ate anti-romance snacks (Taako developed a whole menu), and bitched about how gullible everyone else was. And then it happened.

Or, more specifically, Julia happened.

They didn’t notice at first, they never did. That was a pattern. He mentioned someone he’d met at work, someone who’d come to his ancestral christmas tree farm who wasn’t like the other city slickers. She was interested in wood composition because of her research, she had career aspirations and loved her job and wasn’t stressed at all. They thought he was safe. He wasn’t. Magnus mentioned that it was refreshing to have someone come through town who wasn’t aggressively looking for romance. She’d told him that she didn’t buy into all that nonsense. They’d all found it refreshing too. Until it wasn’t. Until he started missing Hate Club nights. Until he told them she was different in a new way, in a lovesick way, in exactly the way they were all used to hearing from the people who got got. And sure, Julia had moved here but kept her job, she went back on research projects but largely worked from home. And sure, Taako liked her, thought she was great in fact. But none of that changed anything. None of that altered the fact that Magnus betrayed them.

Sloane went last year.

Lup said she didn’t blame her, that it could happen to anyone, but Taako wasn’t convinced. He’d seen the beginnings of it. She could have avoided it. Sloane handed over a cocoa to one of the many interchangeable lawyers circling her stand, he turned too fast - enraptured by the sound of jingle bells on one of the sleigh rides shooting about town and making the roads dangerous (no one knew where the fuck the things came from. He’d brought it up at town meetings and there were no permits, no permissions, and no one recognised the drivers, but the ‘Garfield’s showed up every year to clog up the roads and leave horse shit everywhere.) The cocoa spilled all over Hurley. A complete stranger. Someone Sloane had absolutely no need to concern herself with. Instead, she offered her a towel. That was it.

Taako thought it was done once Hurley mentioned that she was chief of police in Goldcliff. Double done once she started talking about feeling burnt out. Taako tried valiantly to derail things while he finished delivering and racking the cookies for Sloane each day and she ignored him. Just like Magnus had ignored him. Sloane started to just be around less, and less, and less again, until they realised that she hadn’t come to a meeting in six weeks. Then they knew. They got married in Spring. Taako made the cake. It had ten layers. It was fucking delicious.

And now, so what if there were only three of them left? So what if Johnann hadn’t been to a meeting in weeks? It probably didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean he’d been got.

Lup sighs heavily and leans against him. "It got Johann." She turns her phone to Taako.

“Wait, what? Avi’s famous? Avi’s famous famous??? Fuck. How did we not notice?”

“It says here that he specifically didn’t tell anyone because he wanted to stay “low key” while he was in town.” Lup points to the line in the article.

Taako’s wants desperately to bite something. Hard. “Uh huh.”

“But then he saw Johann playing at the coffee shop open mic.”

“Of course he did.”

“And now they’re married and living in his penthouse apartment and Johann’s got a sell out world tour booked in.”

“It’s only been two weeks!”

Lup shrugs. “You know how it goes.”

“He didn’t even invite us to the wedding!”

“It says here they kept it small.” Lup points to the caption underneath a photo of Johann and Avi on a beach looking disgustingly happy.

“Sometimes I think this place is cursed.”

“I think they enjoy it, Taako. They seem happy.”

“Well Taako certainly doesn’t, and neither do you, right?”

“Right.” Says Lup. “It’s gross.”

Taako puts his serious face on. “This year we need to be extra careful, LuLu. We’re the only ones left.”

“Of course, we’ll be on top of it. We know the signs. No one’s coming for the Tacco twins.”

“Hey now, that’s not fair, Taako’s excellent with his ha…”

“No! Gross! Bad! You will not finish that sentence.” Lup nudges Taako hard with her elbow.

Taako snorts out a laugh and shoves her sideways. “Not getting got pact?” He offers out a crooked little finger for the traditional deal.

“Not getting got.” Lup sits up and hooks her finger round his.

“One! Two! Three! No romance!"

Chapter 2 here.

[finn-savotta]

MADE TO ENDURE

Savotta was founded in 1955 under the name of “Pylkönmäen nahkatyö”, Pylkönmäki being the village where we first started out and “nahkatyö” meaning “leatherwork”. Back then our founders Allan and Marjatta Halme focused on making gear for backcountry lumberjacks, leather mittens, backpacks etc. The lumber industry was a big part of reconstructing our country and economy after the second world war.

Since this sort of work was extremely hard on equipment, Allan said “Tehdään niin että kestää!”, meaning “Let’s make these to endure!”, which caught on as both a guideline and motto. This is where our “Made to endure” slogan comes from. These same basic principles guide our work still.

Although we make our gear strong enough to endure hard use over the years, “Made to endure” is much more than just that. For us making enduring gear means of course that it’s built to last a long time in hard use, but also overall staying power. Although we are constantly and surely evolving, and so is the gear we make, we don’t twist and turn with the trends too much. We focus on our own way of doing things and rely on proven design choices. When we make gear, we make it to endure not only hard use but also time itself, what we make today we intend to have purpose and use for years and decades to come.

Gear wears out in use, and things break, this is unavoidable. We do our best to ensure longevity through design and material choices, and also repairability and spare parts availability to keep our gear going through the years.

Some details we tend to pay special attention to is using strong enough materials when needed and reinforcing stress points with bartacks and double or triple stitching. And overall constructing our gear in a straightforward manner instead of doing lots of finnicky little details which can be possible failure points in long use.

When it comes to straightforward durability and longevity, here are some real-life examples: - Some tents we’ve made for the Finnish Defence Forces in the 1960’s are still used today. Worn, torn and repaired but still going strong. - Military load carrying gear, backpacks, combat load carrying kit etc. that we’ve made for the Finnish Defence Forces tends to be in service for decades, which means extremely hard use day in and day out. This couldn’t be accomplished with shoddy material choices and flimsy construction. - We get decades old backpacks in for repairs from time to time. These have been carried on countless hikes and usually require zipper replacements and such, and back they go. - We’ve heard praise from troops in Ukraine who found out they could pack our packs full of mortar ammunition and haul them around without seams and straps ripping, unlike some other packs they had which we’re constantly breaking apart.

Of course, design and material choices can’t be done with only durability in mind. Functionality must come first, as otherwise that durability won’t be worth anything. This does lead to our gear not being the most lightweight stuff out there, we know, but such is life. Neither is it the heaviest though, and we do our best to trim off excess weight when possible, using lighter materials where suitable and overall sensible design. Making enduring gear also has sourcing and environmental aspects. All our production is done in the EU, we run our own factories in Finland and Estonia, and all subcontractors we use are also located in the EU. With 97% of our materials being sourced from the EU, 2% from the US and 1% from Asia we strive to keep our supply chain as tight and short as possible, using only highly reputable and preferably as local as possible suppliers. All our operations are run according to ISO 14001: 2015 Environmental certification, and all materials we use are REACH compliant. Part of our business strategy is also keeping considerable material buffers in stock. This helps keep our production going through sudden changes, such as the COVID crisis and war in Ukraine, which both affected material availability suddenly and drastically. This requires considerable investments, but it is an important part of keeping our production going smoothly through hard times.

Thus “made to endure” indeed means a lot more than just tough gear, it encompasses our whole work ethic, operations, sustainability and continuity in everything we do.

[holocene-sims]

I know you get a ton of these but I also know how much you love them so........

List 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to 10 simblrs whose sims you adore ♥♥♥

i don't mind answering more!! thank you for the ask bestie 💞

the last one i did of these was for grandma aoife so i'll branch out and do this one for grandpa joseph 😇 i would add a picture of him but i don't have access to my screenshot folder at the moment...rip

i gave backstory for grandma so now you get his! tbh grandpa had a very hard childhood 😭 he immigrated to the states when he was five years old and his family lived in new york for a few years BUT his parents were never really able to find stable, well-paying work so they were homeless on the streets of new york for three years. his mother unalived herself from the stress, then finally his father got work in a copper mine in michigan and the family took up residence in a boarding house. but...you know...his father was super busy and his mother was dead so joseph and his sisters were tended to and looked after by the other women of the house

i also talked about aoife's jobs in one post so now for his as well! joseph really did not want to follow in his father's footsteps and get stuck in crazy dangerous manual labor but unfortunately, finances were never in his favor to take him anywhere else. so he worked in a factory building cars for a while (which is where he met his wife btw 💘) and when they gave up on that trade and moved back to the upper peninsula with aoife and their kids to look after his dying father, he took up logging. lumberjack king! but tbh that didn't pay the bills entirely either so on the side, he was also the neighborhood/town handyman 🔧

related but he really would do anything for his wife, his kids, and his grandkids! in some ways he regrets that he couldn't follow his dreams to go to college and do something with a degree, but he does not regret that his hard work and years destroying his body to make a dime financed aoife's dream to run a bakery and ensured that his kids and grandkids get to follow their dreams and live their lives the way they want. he's a real softie and a real family man! also, sure, he did work a lot but he never wanted to be like his dad and be unavailable or distant. he gave up all his free time in the world to spend it with his wife and kids. sometimes the lack of space and time to rest and recover really got to him but it was just too important to him personally to use that time for his loved ones instead of on himself

i also think he struggles to say he has "hobbies" because of his lack of free time and money for most of his life. BUT his hobbies are usually pretty outdoorsy. he does love cooking but he also enjoys gardening, hiking, or taking long drives through the middle of nowhere and just looking at scenery. when it comes to gardening, of course he's a bit practical and has a vegetable and fruit garden, but he also loves flowers! naturally he grows the fruits for aoife to use in her baked goods but his flower garden is kind of his personal pride and joy and he likes that it offsets the uselessness of grass, since the flowers bring bees and other pollinators around

speaking of hobbies, he's kept a daily journal since he was like twelve years old and has never stopped or missed a day in his life. his plans are to keep going until the day he dies. so there's a stack of leather-bound journals on a bookshelf in the bedroom and they're all filled to the brim with his musings and messy, terrible, nearly illegible handwriting!

[mydadjokes]

"I Lost My Job" Puns

My daughter and I have been trading these. Here is our current list - would love to hear more!

I lost my job at the chess factory. I couldn’t work knights.

I lost my job at the bank. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.

I lost my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

I lost my job at the calendar factory. I took too many days off.

I lost my job as a maze designed. I got lost in my work.

I lost my job as an electrician. I was shocked!

I lost my job as a psychic. I didn’t see it coming!

I lost my job at the funeral home. Apparently, the options are “cremation” or “burial,” not “smoking” or “non-smoking.”

I lost my job as an astronomer. I thought my work was looking up!

I lost my job as a cyber criminal. I couldn’t hack it.

I lost my job as a human cannonball. I got fired!

I lost my job as a garbage collector. I had no training but I thought I would pick it up as I go.

I lost my job as a math teacher, same job I’ve had since 2000. That’s 46 years down the drain!

I lost my job in pool maintenance. It was too draining.

I lost my job as a fisherman. I didn’t make enough net income.

I lost my job as a baker. I really kneaded the dough!

I lost my job as a historian. There was no future in it.

I lost my job as a tour guide in Australia. I did not have the right koalafications.

I lost my job at the upholstery repair shop. I may never recover.

I lost my job as a massage therapist. I rubbed people the wrong way.

I lost my job as a seamstress. And I tried sew hard.

I lost my job as a musician. I just wasn’t noteworthy.

I lost my job at the unemployment office. And I still need to go back there tomorrow.

I lost my job feeding giraffes. I just wasn’t up to it.

I lost my job as a water slide attendant. My career is going down the tubes.

I lost my job at the paper shredding factory. It was a tearable job.

I lost my job as a drummer. I’m sure there will be repercussions.

I lost my job as a pole vaulter. I'll never get over it.

I lost my job as a pet groomer. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.

I lost my job as a pastry tester. That job was a piece of cake.

I lost my job as a mirror inspector. I could see myself doing that for a long time.

I lost my job as a yoga instructor. I bent over backwards for them.

I lost my job at Dunkin. It’s ok, I was fed up with the hole business.

I lost my job making stationery. I wasn’t going anywhere.

I lost my job as an archeologist. My career is in ruins.

I lost my job at the orange juice plant. I just couldn’t concentrate.

I lost my job as an investor. I kept losing interest.

I lost my job as a telemarketer. It wasn’t my calling.

I lost my job as a waiter. At least it put food on the table.

I lost my job as a sound technician. I couldn’t handle the feedback.

I lost my job as a fortune-teller. I couldn’t make a prophet.

I lost my job as a lumberjack. They gave me the ax.

I lost my job as a tailor. I just wasn’t suited for it.

I lost my job installing mufflers. It was exhausting work.

I lost my job working security at the Samsung store. I was a Guardian of the Galaxies.

via reddit

[vivent-les-amis]

Les Amis as Things You’ll Only Hear in Québec, Canada

Enjolras: “Se fendre le cul.” (To rip one’s own ass). To work very hard for something or someone.

Courfeyrac: “Bitch. Tu t’assois.” (Bitch, sit down). Some dude on FB made a video and it went viral in Québec.

Combeferre: “Pelleteux de nuages.” (Shoveler of clouds). Insult. Most (older) people who despises arts, philosophy and humanities use it to insult people with ideals who think critically and want to change society.

Jehan Prouvaire: “S’habiller comme la chienne à Jacques.” (To dress like Jack’s dog). To dress very very very badly, or to dress inappropriately for an event. 

Bahorel: “Attache ta tuque a’ec d’la broche.” (Tie your cap with stitches). Québec’s own version of shit’s going to hit the fan. Prepare for trouble and make it double. 

Feuilly: “Tire-toi une bûche.” (Pull yourself a log). Pull up a chair for yourself. Comes from the province’s history: men (mostly farmers) spent their winters as lumberjacks before the 40’s.

Joly: “Bâti sur un frame de mouche.” (Built on a fly’s corpse model). It means to be small, like the wind could knock you down or make you fly away with it.

Bossuet: “Fou comme un balais.” (Crazy as a broom). To be so very happy that you seem crazy to other people. To be very excited for/about something.

Grantaire: “L’amour, ça bat la police.” (Love beats the police). I have nothing to add.

BONUS :

Les Amis l’ABC: “L’amitié, c’est l’amour en habits de semaine.” (Friendship is love in week’s clothing). In the pre-60’s Québec, the only days people could wear their fashionable clothes without ruining them were the weekends, because people didn’t work in factories on weekends.

Marius Pontmercy: “Quand on veut la fille, on caresse le bonhomme.” (When you want the girl, fondle the man). When you want something, you have to get on the good side of the people who can refuse it to you.

Gavroche Thénardier: “Osti, c’est les boeufs !” (Holy bread, it’s the rotters !). Most likely to be shouted in panic or warning when troublemakers see the police coming.

Fantine: “J’en ai plein mon casque.” (My helmet is full of it). To be truly done with something, that something being particularly draining and annoying.

Javert: “À la prochaine chicane !” (Until the next fight !). Usually said when people are leaving to go back home after a family reunion. It is playful and very old.

M. & Mme. Thénardier: “Être broche à foin.” (To be hay spit-like). To be out of the norm, in a bad and cringe way. Can be used for the actions, attitudes and appearance of a person. Also synonym of half-assed.

Montparnasse: “Grosse Corvette, p’tite quéquette.” (Big Corvette, small dicklet). Basically means: the flashier the car, the smaller the dick.

[ryan-spinel]

CHAPTER TWO

“Perri's Letter and Spinel's Revenge”

It was another boring day at school. Today I avoided Steven and Connie, at least until things cool down. Now Perri and I are walking to her house, later going to see Lexi. I suggested we go right after school, but poor Perri had a meltdown when that phone addicted bitch Sophie teased her about liking Lexi. Saying “A spaz like you can't date someone like Lexi Joel. You have a better chance at hooking up with your catnapping psycho of a friend.”

I would have said “go fuck yourself and stuff your mouth with a dumb jocks cock.”But I kept silent to avoid more trouble. Even though she's a threat to my relationship with Steven, she went too far attacking my wittle buddy. After today, she will pay.

“So. How you feeling bud.” I comforted

“A little better Spinel, thank you, for walking with me.” Perri lamented

She didn't seem any better, so I stopped walking and placed my hands on her shoulders. She jolted a little bit, she does that when someone touches her without her knowing, I need to stop doing that.

“Perri, please don't worry about Sophie. She will never bother you again.” I reassured Perri

“You don't know that Spinel, you can't just make her disappear.” Perry doubted

The truth is I can, and I will.

“Just, please trust me okay. She won't hurt you anymore.” I asserted, starting to get annoyed

“I-,hmm. Okay Spinel, I trust you. Now can we please go to my place.” Perri faltered, noticing me getting annoyed.

Even though Perri and I been friends for a while, there were times I lost my shit. One time in elementary 5, Perri had this cute green alien head chewy. Back then Perri would chew on the collar of her shirt, so Brooklyn got it as an alternative. Later, a boy by the name of Ronaldo ask if he could play with it. Perri didn't say anything, she looked away from the fat little shit. He started to get annoyed and grabbed her arm. When I saw tears running down the poor kids face, I said. “Don't touch my fucking friend, she doesn't want to share. So piss of you bitch-ass comic book reading fat pussy.” After I stand up for my nerdy buddy, the little shit started to ball his eyes out. So I got detention for the weekend, and then Grandmother Whitney put a bar of soap in my mouth. She's an amazing Grandmother, but if you push her buttons she can be a mean old hag.

We finally arrive at Perri's place, it's a cute little cabin-like house. With a more rustic style unlike my home, a traditional Japanese minka. Once we walked to the door, we were greeted by the outgoing Brooklyn Fitzgerald. A fierce and friendly soul, who looks out for her friends. She works as a lumberjack at the local saw mill, fell in love with the stubborn lawyer Pearl Harpor and once one first place in the wood chopping competition at the county fair. Brooklyn was always that person you feel comfortable around, she is a great role-model for Perri and always wants the best for her. She's like the cool aunt I never had, and the only adult I feel comfortable around that isn't my family.

“How you doing kids, I made a tray of onigiri for an afternoon snack.” Brooklyn greeted

“Thanks mom, we're here just to get a bite to eat, spinel and I are going to a study group at the library.” Perri replied

Perri doesn't lie often, but she's surprisingly good at it. It's scary if you think about it.

“Well okay Perri, but remember. Always have your phone, come back home before six, and don't walk in Black Hawk Clan territory.” Brooklyn directed

“Well of course mom.” Perri acknowledged while to two of us walk inside

Their house interior was like one of the those shacks in the movie Friday the 13th. Brooklyn kept it very well maintained, she may be a lumberjack but she's a amazing carpenter.

“I'll be back Spinel, I'm just getting some things from my room.” Perri called, going to grab the letter

“Alright Perri.” I concurred while eating some homemade onigiri

“So, umm. Spins, how's Perri doing.” Brooklyn worried, she's not always the serious type. But when she is, you need to listen and shut up.

“She's, okay. Why do you ask?” I denied, having a good feeling what she's going to say.

“I got a call from the school, saying that Perri had a meltdown.” Brooklyn took a deep breath and continued. “Spinel, I know your aware that Perri is a little different than the other kids. She thinks in a different way and does things differently.” Brooklyn fretted

“I think you are aware of this Spinel, but Perri has Autism.” Brooklyn said looking that she's not finished speaking.

I was aware that Perri isn't like other kids, that why I like her. I love that she would ramble on and on about robotics, AI and Elon Musk. I love that she has that burning passion to expand her learning, even if it's just one topic. In a way, Perri's like a little sister to me. I love her because she's unique, not mediocre like those bimbos at school. She's her own person and doesn't follow a crowd.

“There were many incidents that kids would tease her because she's on the spectrum. They would tease her for being jumpy, they would pick on her because she wouldn't play with the other kids. And let's not forget the time a student grabbed her over a god damn chewie.” Brooklyn bawled, on the verge of tears. Even someone as strong as her can feel defeated sometimes.

“I'm scared spinel, I'm scared that my little girl will get herself hurt. After the diagnosis her father couldn't take it and left. Saying that he wanted a normal child with a normal life. Pearl has a hard time dealing with Perri sometimes, but she still cares about her. All I ask is Spinel, please look out for her.”

“Brook, things won't be like this forever. There's a lot of people with autism and live great lives. Overtime they grow and learn how to cope, Perri's still a kid. She's going to be an amazing person one day. Building robots or something. The point is that sometime people outgrow these problems, it's sometimes doesn't bother them or they cope with it. Your very lucky to have a daughter like Perri. You just have to remember that every successful person had those days that they want to give up. But they keep pushing until they reach their goals. Just like Perri.” I monotoned

“You maybe right Spins, Perri has been growing up. It just seems like yesterday she didn't need her chewy anymore.” Brooklyn hoped

“See, everything's going to be okay. Sophie won't bully her anymore, I promise.” I concluded

“Alright Spinel, lets go to the library now. ” Perri intrupted

“Be safe girls, look out for one another.”

It took us 30 minutes by bus to arrive at the Black Hawk clan's main nest, I don't know why they would call it a nest but whatever. Their nest was a giant old warehouse outside of town, it had a barbed wire fence all around the headquarters. Like those fences you see in prisons. There was a giant chain link fence for the entrance, two bikers were guarding it carrying AK-47s.

“Yo what the fuck, you can't be-, ohhhhhh. It's the catnapper. What business do you have with the Black Hawks.” Thug one marveled

“Is that what they're calling me now, it was psycho bitch last week. We don't what any trouble, we just want to see the road captain.”

“Wait are you talking about, Lex. Hah,well Spins, we can't let you just see the road captain. You have to talk to the founder first, she decides not us.” Thug two announced

“Oh for the love of god.” I whispered to myself

“Well, can we see. Fucking, Jasper or someone.” I badgered

These biker act so tough and fearless. But really, their just a bunch of leather-wearing douches.

“Ahhhhh, if it'll make you shut the fuck up then sure. ” thug one complained

The two annoyed thugs opened the gate, Perri and I walk cautiously into the nest.

Inside the warehouse wasn't any better than the outside. On the left side, there was a bar with tables, chairs and stolen arcade game machines. The right side was their business operation, with safes, factory equipment and a security system. Every biker gang has their source of income. It can be drugs,weapons, cigarettes or anything valuable on the yami-ichi.

The Black Hawks are the kingpins in the drug industry, but they don't just sell any type of drug. They created their own drug that is booming in the Japanese black market. It's called Menohoyō, meaning eye-candy in Japanese. Menohoyō is made just like regular eye-drops, because it is eye-drops. The only reason why it's addictive and illegal, is because it's made of 45% of diethylamide. A main chemical component to make LSD. There's been cases all across the world, reaching places like Brazil, United States and even Russia. There has been many gangs and drug cartels trying to replicate this drug, but all of them failed. Today, the Black Hawks dominate the drug industry, even bribing politicians to keep their business running. It's greasy business, that's why I want Lexi to get out when she still has the chance.

In front of us are the three masterminds of the whole operation.

Jasper Alder, the founder of the gang. Sitting on an old puke green recliner and smoking a five inch Pyramid cigar. She was born in Tokyo and was a target for bullying because she has vitiligo. Due to the bullying she became a mean bitch, once she broke a kids arm because she called her giraffe. Later in life, Jasper got into bodybuilding and motorcycles. Causing her to follow the wrong crowd. She got involved in a lot of crazy shit involving rival gangs. Once she turned twenty-three, she created the Black Hawk Clan. She called it that because one day, her father and her were hunting hawks. A giant common black hawk attacked her father and scratched his throat, causing him to bled to death in the middle of the woods. Jasper manage to shot the hawks wing and flew off. For three nights she was searching that hawk. Later found it on the ground near an old Japanese Wisteria. Jasper chose not to put the bird out of its misery, instead she watched it bled out for three minutes. So long story short, she's twenty-five and runs a drug cartel now.

On her left was the president of the clan, Eleanor Monsoon. She was Jasper right-hand gal, those two used to rob gas-stations when they were teens. Eleanor was also known for her great grandfather being in the Imperial guard divisions during WW2. That's where she gets her fierce comanding attitude.

On the right was the Vice President of the clan, Persephone Windsor. Nothing to special about her, all I can say is she's a snobby bitch born in a very rich family, she supply's most of the equipment and weapons. She's a narcissist and a manipulator who will destroy lives to get her way.

“(Puffing a smoke) Well, I didn't expect to see the pip-squeak and the catnapper today. ” Jasper snarled while inhaling on her cigar.

“Let me do the talking Perri, I got this.” I whispered to Perri

“Hi Jasper, hows the gang and so. Also can we talk to Lexi.” I urged, trying to convince the butch

“(Puffing a smoke). Well Spins, if you have business with the road captain you have business with me. Now spill the beans crazy.” Jasper chided

“It has nothing to do with.Business. We want to see Lexi, because-”

“Because I want to get to know her better, and hopefully she'll get out of this dirty, greasy motorcyclist club you call a business.” Perri interrupted me and dared Jasper

Thanks a lot Perri, we're fucked.

“How dare you, a worthless pest like you speaking to the founder like-” Persephone chastised

“Wait. Hold on your saying you want to hangout and bond, with the black hawk clan road captain. Out of all the nerds at your snobby school. You choose an angsty, hot-headed, with drugged up parents and possibly slept with more guys than you know how many bones are in the human body. So tell be spaz, what makes you think a nerd like you, can ever be with someone as fucked up as Lex. Because honestly, you can do better.” Jasper insulted

I saw that Perri was starting to get upset, but instead being sad, she got mad.

“You, you don't know anything. How dare you talk to someone like that, your not any better you, you, you f-f-fucking clod.” Perri exploded

It would take a tiny miracle to get us out of this shit.

However, the three bikers looked at each other with confusion. There was a silent pause, until.

“...............Haaaahahahahahahahaha.hhaaaaaaahaaahahahaahahahahhaaaahahah.” The three clan leaders burst with laughter

Perri expression turned back to sadness, trying to hold in her tears.

“Hahahaaahhaa, is,haha, is that the best you got tiny,hahhahaha. That's fucking pathetic, hahaha. Oh look at me, I WUV Lexi, hahaha.” Jasper mocked

I could see Perri starting to sob, I wanted to say something but that would be a suicide mission.

“Perri and Lexi sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-” the three clan leaders laughed and mocked

“What the fuck is happening, it's like a fucking circus in here. ” Lexi interrupted

Thank God she's here

“Perri, Spinel. What are you guys doing here.” Lexi gasped

“We were going to see you, until these donkey's stop us from doing so.” I explained

Lexi then turned her attention to the brainy-baby.

“Hey, hey, hey. Perri, my dude. I'm here, it's okay.” Lexi tried comforting Perri

“(Whimpering) it's good to see you again rockstar.” Perri sniffled

“It's good to see you to buddy.” Lexi sympathized

Lexi then turned her attention to the three douches

“What the fuck did you three do.” Lexi accused

“Lex, know your place. You do not bark at me, or I'm sending you back on the streets like the runt you are. ” Jasper retaliated

“Well I guess you have to put be back on the fucking streets, because no one talks to my friends like that.” Lexi condemned

It warms my cold heart to see Lex care so much for Perri, it's so sweet.

“Ah you fucking bitch, alright. You can see your, friend now.(inhaling on her cigar).” Jasper said in defeat

“Come on Perri, is there something you wanted to tell me.” Lexi adviced

“One second Lexi.” Perri protested

She turned her direction towards me, running up to me and giving me a hug. It was a tight hug, like a bear hug.

“You are the greatest friend in the world, I'm so lucky to have met you.” Perri chirped

I still didn't understand this platonic affection, this is the second time in a row, and I don't feel anything. My heart feels heavy and silent, there's no emotion. Why am I like this.

But to make her feel better, I hugged her back.

It lasted for 3 minutes, everyone in the warehouse was staring at us. But I didn't care, as long as she's happy.

She finally let go and walk towards Lexi, both of them waving goodbye to me. I guess it wasn't such a bad day after all.

“Hold on Spinel, just a minute.” Jasper asserted

I spoke to soon.

“Even though I'm letting your friend hang with the road captain, you still have to do something for me in return. ” Jasper decided

“Jasper. I can't be your drug mule.” I stated

“Don't worry your panties off, your not delivering drugs. I've chosen something that you may like. Do you know Sophie Turner.” Jasper explained

“What about her.”

“She hasn't been paying her IOU's for the Menohoyō's she's been buying for her parties. She keeps saying “My dad is rich, I'll get your money, stop bugging me, bla bla bla.” So because of her I'm losing money, she's my top buyer in Akuma no tochi. So what I need you to do is, take her out.” Jasper offered

Well isn't that pure irony.

“I think I can do that Jasper, but I'm going to need some equipment.” I demanded

“Sure, anything. You just can't tell the clan was involved.” Jasper added

“I need a hacksaw, trash bags, bleach, cleaning supplies, nails and the key to the saw mill.” I listed

“Done. Go to our SGT at arms, Ruth. She'll get you what you need. Remember Spinel, this never happened.” Jasper concluded

Once I reached the exit, a familiar voice called out for me.

“Spinel, Wait. I want to talk to you!”

Well what do you know, I thought Ryan was the last person who would talk to me here.

“Listen Spinel, I did some thinking and wanted to apologize about yesterday. I took my frustrations out on you, it was wrong. I should have never called you runner-tits, your a beautiful, smart girl. One day, some very lucky guy will meet you. I'm sorry.” Ryan apologized

I didn't expect someone like Ryan to say that, it took a lot of guts to admit something like that. I respect that.

“I forgive you Ryan, no hard feelings.”

“Thank you Spinel, I'll let you go now. But remember, the Black Hawks have your back.” Ryan thanked

“Your welcome, I'll see you around.”

It is time, time to give that bitch what she deserves. Good thing I didn't give all that birthday cake to the meow-meows.

I finally arrive to Sophie's place, no ones home but her. I have everything I need to silence her for good. And it all starts with a piece of cake.

I walked to her door and placed a small pink box on the doorstep. I knocked on the door and hid behind a bush.

“Hello, is some out there. Justin you better not be fucking with me.” Sophie cautioned

“Oh, what's this. (opens the box) aww, it's a piece of cake. I guess Justin isn't a dick after all. ”

Sophie picked up the cake from the box and went back inside, without locking the door. I quietly snuck in behind her, when I found out that she took the bait. I always make the best cakes, thanks to Momma. But for this special occasion, I added my secret ingredient.

I saw her take the first bite, then the second, and finally the third. Until she took her fourth bite.

“Mmmh mhhhh- ACK,ACK. Gahh. Barf.” Sophie said while gagging and puking blood

That's right, the secret ingredient os nails. I placed a couple of small nails in the sweet-treat, hoping it would tear her esophagus apart.

“Aww, did poor wittle Sophie bit off more than she could chew.” I teased her while kneeling down beside her.

“Who's a spaz now bitch. I would have came for your ass later. But you had to pick on my wittle buddy. That's one step to far.” I rasped

I looked at her in disgust while watching her struggle to breathe. This was the first human I ever killed, I'm tired of releasing my pain on cats. Taking them from their owners, putting them in a bag, and slamming that said bag onto the concrete floor! Who ever knew inflicting pain on someone like her can feel so, pleasurable. Reliving. The pure horror in their eyes fills my desire, my desire to butcher these whores that stand in my way. I shouldn't have done this sooner.

“ACK ACK ACK, gahh. Fuck youu, you psychotic cun-(pukes blood). Barf. Huff, puff, huff, puff. Huff...ack....ack...ack.........ah.” Sophie cried her last words.

“Just so you know, it's homemade not store bought.” I joked

Well that took longer than I expected. I had to saw her in ten part, bag them, clean the floor, bleach the floor, dispose any evidence, take the body parts to the saw mill and shred them up. I also had to burn my cloths as well, at least I brought a spare set. But it all ended smoothly. I got my revenge, and now only five more rivals to go. Perri can now see Lexi anytime, I hope they worked out, they'll make a cute couple. Even though school sucked ass at least it ended on a positive note. Now time to go home, and great my amazing famil-.

“Hey. Spinel.”

Okay who could that be.

I turned around wanting to know whose behind me. And oh fuck I wish didn't. This day was perfect for Perri and I, and she's the last person I wanted to see, God damn it!

“Hello Spinel”

“Hello. Connie.”

To be continued

[nova0000scotia]

February 21st 1891: An explosion in a coal mine at Springhill killed 125 miners. Coal gas was suspected as the cause of the blast. The accident was the first of several that occurred  over the years in Springhill. The mines were shut forever after a rock surge on Oct. 23, 1958, in which 74 miners died.

[andrewmoocow]

Fooly Falls chapter 4: Batter Up (originally posted on July 12, 2017)

It was another beautiful day in Gravity Falls, perhaps beautiful enough for a nice game of baseball. Yeah, this is the baseball chapter alright. Anyway, Haruko hit the ball really hard, much to the opposing team's shock as it flies out of the park and towards the sky. Everyone was busy comprehending what just happened as Haruko arrogantly thanked everyone while doing a little victory dance.

“Oy, she is just too good.” Stan complained as he, Dipper, Mabel, Ford, Soos, Wendy, Candy, Grenda, Pacifica, Robbie, McGucket and Waddles sat in the dugout. “I think that last one went into space.” Wendy added. “Wait a minute, why are we playing baseball anyway?” Stan wondered. “I came up with that Mr. Pines.” Soos answered. “You see, in many of the anime I watch, the characters would sometimes just chill out and play a nice game of baseball.”

Stan was still confused. “Yeah, but why baseball anyway?” he continued on.     ”Filler episodes dude.” Soos added. “I will never understand the shows that you watch Soos. Like that weird giant robot show. Why is it that our wimpy protagonist can't seem to choose between the hot-blooded blonde Russian girl, the heavy drinker or the blue-haired clone?”

“So you made up this whole team Mabel?” Dipper asked his sister, who was wearing a baseball-themed sweater with a gnome on it, as Stan and Soos continued debating. “Yeah, I even got a mascot and everything!” she replied pointing to a man wearing a gnome-themed costume dancing around the field. The mascot took his head off to reveal a rather normal looking man black-haired man with a smile on his face. “Great work there Tad!” she said to him. “She promised me bread.” he announced.

“Yes, thank you.” Haruko thanked as a gnome handed her a dollar bill. “You're welcome babe, you're a great help to the Forest Freaks.” the gnome replied with a Manotaur, a Gremoblin, a unicorn, a group of beautiful-looking blonde men in white and a Lilliputtian stood behind him. “Say, why are you so good at hitting anyway?” he asked Haruko. “I just have my ways Jeff.” she replied. “Good to hear that!” he exclaimed as he turned to another gnome with a bushy grey beard and unaligned eyes. “Make a note of that Schmebulock.”

“Schmebulock!” the other gnome exclaimed as he pulled a pen out of his beard and started scribbling on his hand. “Schmebulock.” he said. “Is Schmebulock all you can say?” the Manotaur asked looking at Schmebulock's hand. “Schmebulock.” he glumly replied.

“This is utter cockamamie balderdash!” Stan shouted from the dugout. “How is it that the Gravity Falls Gnomes, who have two old men with tons of fighting experience and a lumberjack's daughter who could kick ass, lose to a bunch of weirdos who don't know the first thing about baseball?”

“Maybe we need to bring out someone who knows his way around baseball.” Candy replied as everyone turned to Dipper. “Yeah, Dipper can help us win!” Grenda shouted. “I-I don't know guys, I'm not all that great at this game and Haruko is like crazy good.” Dipper groaned. “C'mon Dipper, we just need someone who can outmatch her.” Ford said putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Alright fine.” Dipper said as he picked up a bat and walked to home plate while his team chanted for him. “I'm going to die here Chutzpar, I just know it.” he mumbled to the Manotaur, who was serving as umpire. “Not gonna lie, I sort of agree.” Chutzpar replied.

Dipper readied his bat preparing to strike but he missed the ball. “STRIKE ONE!” Chutzpar shouted. The boy readied himself again, only to miss once more. “STRIKE TWO!” the umpire cried. He prepared to strike again, only to get knocked down by the ball. “Strike three, he's out!” Haruko exclaimed with a cheeky look on her face.

“Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark!” Wendy stated as Waddles carried Dipper back to the dugout. “You alright there, how many fingers am I holding up?” Robbie asked as he pulled out three of his fingers. “Well everybody, might as well admit defeat.” Stan bluntly stated as he got up to congratulate the Forest Freaks. “We can't give up just yet Stanley!” Ford said grabbing his brother's arm. “Look over there!” He pointed to Canti as he was picking up various balls from the field.

Soon enough, Canti was practicing with the Gnomes as Soos pitched. “Wow, he's actually pretty good.” Pacifica gasped in awe of the machine's skills until they all turned to notice Stan hunched over, his fingers locked together and his glasses suddenly shining. “This is it everyone, my secret weapon!” he proudly proclaimed.

As they all cheered, Dipper walked away with a stoic look on his face back to the Shack until he turned to Haruko standing over him. “That bandaged head look kinda suits you.” she said. “C'mon kid, it's a compliment.” Dipper, as usual, wasn't buying it. “Does it really matter anyway? Like I said, I'm not good at baseball.” he replied. “Quit lying kid!” she exclaimed as she held her bass aloft. Dipper winced, thinking she was going to hit him again, but instead she put it down and got on her Vespa.

“Anyway, nothing's gonna happen unless you swing the bat.” she said as she rode off, leaving Dipper to contemplate her words. “Oh yeah, forgot to tell you much earlier Dipper, but my parents got a new Medical Mechanica factory here.” Pacifica said walking up behind him. “Are you okay there?”

Meanwhile in another part of town, Commander Amarao had rolled in on a Vespa with Kitsurubami, Powers, Trigger and a few other agents behind him. “Well men, this is the place.” he said. “Fan out, I want the Vespa Woman brought to me by tomorrow.” he ordered to the others.

“SIR YES SIR!” they all replied as they spread out across the Oregon town. Amarao did so himself as he tackled a man with a goatee wearing a red flannel shirt. “You there, what do you know about a pink-haired girl with a yellow scooter and 4001 Rickenbacker?” he inquired. “A Rickenbacker, like the one Paul McCartney has? Or was it John Lennon?” the man replied as he took notice of his interrogator's eyebrows. “Those eyebrows....”

“Don't you befuddle me with your Beatles trivia, where is she?” he demanded. “Oh yeah, I think she's hanging around the Mystery Shack.” the man answered as Amarao dropped him to the ground. “Thank you good sir, now have a nice day.” The agent then got back on his scooter as he rode away. “I guess he must be a fan of the rock that looks like a face rock.”

“Hey everyone, I'm back.” Dipper announced as he walked back into the Shack's living room to find Haruko, still in her baseball uniform, twitching uncontrollably as Stan gave her a massage while Mabel looked on. “Oh hey kid, caught us at an awkward time. Dinner's in a bit.” Stan said as the girl started moaning. “Oh, it hurts! Not so rough!”

“What are you doing?” the young mystery solver asked as the moaning got louder. “Oh yes, your gristle is like baby lamb wool!” she screamed. “Old people massages are actually pretty good, don'tcha think?” she asked Dipper blushing. “You really stink, you could just change into some clean clothes.” the boy said as he walked away. “And yet I can't smell your sweat, wonder why? Oh, I'm too tired to even hold a fork!”

“Why were you playing for all those creatures anyway?” Dipper asked turning to her. “They gave me good money, thought it could help with the electric bill.” she replied before moaning again.

“Here Haruko, try some of this!” Stan offered her some eggs at dinner as he gulped down on some brown meat, squealing happily along the way. “Now this is what life is worth livin' for!” he exclaimed. “What are you even doing anyway?!” Dipper asked, thinking back to the Vespa Woman's first time at the Shack when she said that she needed him. “Y'know what, I'm going outside for some fresh air.” He walked outside as Stan, Mabel, Haruko and Canti watched. “Geez, what's with him?” Mabel wondered.

Meanwhile outside, Dipper sat down on the front steps thinking about what had just happened. Haruko had said that very night that she needed him yet here she was getting close with his great uncle. “Excuse me young man, is this place your home?” a voice asked. Dipper turned his head to see a red-haired man with large eyebrows and a pair of sunglasses standing before him. “And it's also a tourist trap?”

“No sir, me and my sister are living here for the summer.” the pine tree kid answered. “Then I guess you might know what I'm looking for, huh?” the stranger replied turning to him. “Those eyebrows....” Dipper said to himself looking at his eyebrows.

“I've heard intel about a man in a fez calling himself Stan Pines disguising as a gangster to break into a meeting of the Molehill Gang at Booby's. I'd like to speak with him.” the stranger politely said. “Sorry mister, my grunkle's busy but I do have something that might be of interest to you.” Dipper replied as he rushed back inside and came back out with the Firestarter in hand.

“I've been researching about an ancient being that once roamed this land and I think you might be interested.” Dipper started scrolling through the page as the man watched. “See, this man has once inhabited this land and got bored one day, so he made a deal with a dream demon known as Bill Cipher to gain ultimate power and wipe out his people.” He turned over the page to show the filled-in outline of Bill.

“I'm sorry kid, but this is all make-believe compared to what I've seen!” the man stated. “Listen, I'm looking for a girl with a Vespa scooter that's living here.” The young detective immediately knew what this man was talking about. “Oh, you mean Haruko? She's been living here as a maid, even though all she does is mooch off my family.” he said.

“So she's been hanging with you. That means she's addicted to you in a way.” the man said. “Listen, she's mad I tell you. Hopefully you didn't tell many people about her, cause then you'll think smart They'll find out what you're dealing with eventually.” Dipper put the parchment away in his jacket pocket as the man adjusted his shades. “Say, is there anything for sale here?”

“Thanks, I always wanted one of these.” the man thanked Dipper as he got on his scooter holding a fish covered in fur. “Anyway, older women can have an effect on you, so you better be careful.” The man drove away from the Shack as Dipper stood there watching while Stan and Haruko laughed wildly inside. “I got a bad feeling about this.

“So you're saying Haruko is hanging out with Grunkle Stan more despite the fact she said she needed you?” Mabel said when Dipper walked up to their room. “Exactly sis. I've been feeling that she's using us for her own agenda.” he replied. “And there was also this guy with really big eyebrows that knows about her somehow.”

“Wait, eyebrows?” Mabel said curiously. “Yeah, he came here looking for Stan and found me instead.” Dipper replied. “How big were they?” she asked. “Like really big. I'm pretty sure they're not ever real!” he replied. “Going off topic here, but is it okay if I call you Takkun like what Haruko does?”

“No.”

“Batting practice at sunset?” Haruko asked later that evening outside the gift shop. “Do you want me to be your coach?” she added as Dipper strolled away from her. “No, please.” he replied. “I can teach you how.” she said. “Just go away and keep doing crazy things with my uncle.” he replied hiding behind the totem pole. “We're in this together Pine Tree.” Haruko said as his grunkle's head dropped on the ground, much to his shock. Then suddenly, Mabel's head was behind him as well. “Your head is the only one that works Takkun.” she stated as she held the boy's head in her arms and then back on his body. “You'll hit a homerun soon. Promise.”

Later, Dipper stood outside holding a baseball bat with Haruko watching him. “Yeah, that's the right stance.” she said. “Buuut, you have to swing the bat!” Just then, Ford walked outside all bleary-eyed and his hair very unkempt. “Pardon me for being rude kids,” he said. “but what are you doing at 3:00am?”

“She's helping me with batting practice Ford.” Dipper replied before Haruko laid herself all over him. “Hit it into the sky, don't hold back.” she continued. “Before he swings the bat, a real slugger imagines an arc inside his heart, arching directly to heaven.” She took hold of the boy's arms and made him point the bat towards a flickering star. “I think that star would make a great target.” Ford said. “Yeah, but why is it blinking like that?”

Meanwhile in a secluded part of town, the agents had made their temporary base in an abandoned house with Kitsurubami, Powers and Trigger supervising them. “Alright, put it up on screen.” Powers ordered as the image changed from static to a large satellite circling the Earth. “Kitsurubami, analyze.”

“It's been ten hours since impact.” she announced. “We have experienced a total loss of control after it caused irreparable damage to sectors six through eighteen and displaced all three antennas including the spare.” As she continued explaining, the image of the satellite was enhanced until a baseball was spotted within it. “It made a quantum leap into the central processing sector and scored a direct hit on the core unit. This is Satellite Geo-Saki, it's proceeding with its self-programmed attack.”

The three government officials turned towards their superior Amarao examining the fur trout he received from the Mystery Shack. “Is everything alright Commander Amarao?” Trigger wondered. “It's nothing, I just can't help but wonder what fur this is supposed to be from.” Amarao replied handing the fish to the three. “I have a feeling it might be from some kind of grizzly bear.”

“Those eyebrows.....” the agents and lieutenant thought. “So when's it gonna fall?!” their superior exclaimed. “Commander, sir!” a scientist exclaimed rushing into the room before standing in attention. “We have good news on the statue of Diamond Brandy you have told us about!” he stated.

“Wait, Diamond Brandy?” Kitsurubami wondered looking at the scientist. “Amarao has gotten word from a young boy staying at 618 Gopher Road that there is a statue of a powerful vampire wizard that we have dug up.” he explained to the others. “Good work Dr. Hubert.” Amarao thanked him before leading his companions to the lab. “Seriously, I still feel like we've been to that Gopher Road place before.” Powers whispered to Trigger. “Maybe we came there in like, another life or something weird like that.”

“So Stuart, how's the life goin'?” another scientist in the lab asked chatting with his partner as he turned on some UV lights. “Oh y'know Ken, my fiancee left me, my mom died, dad got deported, but I got a sweet car last month!” Stuart replied. Just then, Amarao, Kitsurubami, Powers, Trigger and Hubert stepped into the lab. “Commander Amarao, sir!” the two shouted saluting him. “So boys, how goes researching that statue?” Hubert asked stepping forward. “We seem to have uncovered something....peculiar.” Ken answered. “There is a hole on his forehead that only showed up when we collected it. Have a look-see.”

Hubert stepped forward, staring deep within the hole as an air of dread crawled all over him. Suddenly, a large drill popped out impaling him in his forehead. “He has a horn!” Stuart cried out in horror. “And he's waking up!” Ken replied. “Quick, bring out more UV lamps!” he ordered. “YES SIR!” The statue began to crack more and more until a hulking figure with long blonde hair was revealed underneath. Diamond Brandy was reborn and boy was he hungry. The drill began to rip apart many of the other scientists, coating the UV lamps in blood.

“I can't believe it, he's still alive!” Trigger screamed in fear as the vampire burst from his prison. “And he's using human blood to block out the light!” Kitsurubami added. As Diamond Brandy stepped down, he gazed at the remaining mortals. “Hm, it seems the world has changed quite a bit while I was asleep.” he said to himself. “Your modern technology proves no match for the last of the Pole People!”

“Stay back monster!” the armored security guards exclaimed as they charged into the lab, pointing their weapons at him. “Zuhohoho, feeding time.” Brandy chuckled to himself as time slowed to a stop. He waltzed around the guards like a flash of light to them until time was restored to normal, and that's when they realized his true power.

“Commander, my hands!” One of the guards screamed in horror as he laid eyes upon his fingers being locked together with a scientist's, along with all of the other guards and scientists. “THEY'RE STUCK TOGETHER!” they all shouted. “Someone, do something!” Amarao shouted before Kitsurubami fired her anti-tank rifle at Brandy, only for it to to fail as he grabbed the bullet in his hands and poked it, transforming it into a large cricket which hopped away.

“You won't get away with this you abomination!” a scientist hollered before Diamond appeared right before his eyes and jabbed his drill into his forehead, reducing him and the others into lumps of flesh. “I think it's time for a new look. Allow me to change into something more....comfortable.” the monster announced before telekinetically bringing forth the blood of his victims and making it surround him like a cocoon.

“Somebody, shoot him!” Powers exclaimed pointing at the blood cocoon. “We already tried that, and now looked what happened!” Kitsurubami shouted in reply pointing towards the giant cricket that was menacing Stuart and Ken. The cocoon suddenly burst open, revealing Diamond Brandy now bare-chested and wearing a long flowing red cape and white hakama pants. “Ah, so much better.” the demon stated proudly looking around before turning to the two scientists.

“Please spare us sir!” Stuart cried as he and Ken held each other close, quivering in fear. “We'll do anything to stay alive! Anything!” Ken added as a few tears appeared in his eyes. “Anything?” Diamond said stroking his chin. “I know. I will let you two live, but in exchange you will serve me for all eternity!” he exclaimed as he made his fingertips light up and he tapped the two on their foreheads. Their forms contorted wildly as they screamed in pain until their skin turned pale blue and their labcoats were replaced with clothing just as wild as their new master's.

“From now on, the mortals who call themselves Stuart Dooley and Ken Simpson are dead!” the monster proclaimed as they rose from the ground, smiling evilly. “In their place are my new minions, Stinger and Loggken!” The three of them struck a pose as the four government officials stepped away before running for the hills. “Don't think you can get away so easily!” the two newborn beasts chanted in unison before raising their hands skyward. “RIPPLE!” Just then, the old house started cracking like glass as it began to fade from reality.

“Wait a minute, they can warp reality?!” Agent Trigger exclaimed as they kept running for the front door. “That boy never mentioned anything about that in his paper!” Amarao replied. “Enough about some random kid, we have to run!” Powers and Kitsurubami shouted as they got closer to the door. They jumped out in the nick of time as the house caved in, falling into a hole in space before zipping itself closed.

“That was insane! My life hasn't been at that much risk since the Arcadia Bay case!” Trigger wheezed getting up. “Apparently these so-called Pole People are more powerful than we thought.” Kitsurubami replied. “They can use incredibly powerful magic to slaughter lower beings and have the power of mind control! What do we do now?”

The two then turned to Powers and Amarao looking off into the distance through the forest and at a hovel of a shop. “Easy.” Powers said. “We find someone who knows and can stop him. And we're also gonna need some new men and a new base.”

Dipper woke up in his bed to find Mabel cuddling Waddles in her bed but Haruko was nowhere to be found. “Where is she anyway?” he wondered as he walked down the stairs to search for her. He combed the entire house from the spare room that Ford was sleeping in to the kitchen where he found Canti washing dishes. “Hey Canti, have you seen Haruko anywhere?” he asked the Medical Machine, who shrugged in reply before returning to what he was doing.

“C'mon Haruko, where are you?” Dipper groaned as he got more tired. Suddenly a bright light coming from the vending machine caught his eye. Punching in the code, going downstairs and taking the elevator to the lab, he tiptoed around until he found Haruko playing with the Eyes of Heaven mask Ford told him about. ”What is she doing now?” he wondered before the gleam of the red jewel on its forehead pointed at his forehead, sending him into a frenzy.

“Just as I thought! 618 Gopher Road!” Amarao meanwhile declared in the forest. “Come along everyone, we got a world to save.” he proclaimed to his subordinates. “Eyebrows!”

The next day, it was time for baseball again as the Gnomes cheered for Canti when he stepped up to the mound.”Yah can do it TV-bot!” McGucket hollered. “Yeah, give 'em what for!” Candy added as they all started laughing. Meanwhile, Dipper and Wendy were sitting on the Shack's front steps discussing what happened yesterday. “So some government guys say that Haruko's a loose cannon?” Wendy wondered. “Yeah, he came to me looking for Stan and then he started talking about her when I showed him the Firestarter.” Dipper responded as Haruko pulled up in front of them on her Vespa.

“Hey, the game's already started you two.” Haruko said. “Are you just gonna sit around doing perverted stuff?” she asked. “We're not doing perverted stuff Haruko, you're just insane.” Dipper bluntly replied. “C'mon kid, today's the day you get to swing the bat.” the Vespa woman added. “I'm not sure Haruko,” Wendy said looking at her younger friend. “Dipper really isn't the type to swing the bat.”

“I'm not good at baseball.” Dipper said. “Ah well, it is Canti's first game after all.” Haruko replied. “Oh that's right, we got Lord Canti on our team now!” Wendy exclaimed getting up and sitting behind her on the Vespa. “See ya later dude!” she called to her friend as they drove off. “Have fun.” the boy solemnly replied as he walked back inside.

Back inside the shack, Dipper walked into the living room to a horrifying site, his great uncle lying dead on the ground with the TV smashed in beside him. “Oh my gosh Grunkle Stan, are you alright?!” he panicked. “Who did this to you, what happened here?! I'll call an ambulance!” Looking over what had happened, he heard a noise and turned around to find the elderly con artist sitting at the table surprisingly looking fine. “But, how?” the boy wondered. “What's the matter Dipper? You look like you've seen a ghost.” Stan said turning to his great nephew. “Is-is everything okay?”

“Naw, I'm fine kid.” the uncle replied. “It's just that Haruko and I have built a special kind of relationship over these past few chapters.” He turned to Dipper almost robot-like. “W-what kind?” Dipper asked again. “MOUTH TO MOUTH.” Stan replied in a creepy sounding voice as Haruko's head, now wearing mouse ears, popped out of his mouth. “MOUSE!”

“Because I need you.” Haruko's words began echoing throughout his mind as various images of Waddles chasing a tiny version of her played. “It has to be this way Takkun. That's how life works, sometimes you're the cat and sometimes you're the mouse.”

“She-she once ssssaid something about h-how she needed-needed you Dipper.” Stan started talking almost like a glitched-out robot as he walked towards Dipper. “Or something like thaaaaat.”

“STOP IT ALREADY!” Dipper finally yelled as he hit his grunkle in the head with the baseball bat he was carrying and breaking the TV as well. When everything returned to reality, the boy realized that he was the one that did it.

Meanwhile back at the baseball field, Haruko had scored another point for the Forest Freaks knocking out Canti along the way, once again to the shock of the Gravity Falls Gnomes. “Wow dudes, even with Canti we're still getting murdered out there.” Soos declared as McGucket, Grenda and Robbie examined their fallen teammate. “She's probably doing it on purpose just to screw with us.” Wendy responded. Just then, a siren sounded as Haruko turned her gaze skyward to notice a large dirigible flying over them.

“A state of emergency has been declared in Gravity Falls.” a voice declared. “All citizens evacuate immediately. I repeat, all citizens evacuate.”

“Dipper Pines, age 12, student of Eggbert Elementary School in Piedmont, California, brother of Mabel Danielle Pines, son of Alexander and Danielle Pines, great nephew of Stanley Danley Pines, whom for thirty years imitated his brother Stanford Filbrick Pines after he was lost in another dimension for thirty years. Prefers to keep his first name a secret.” Amarao spoke as he sat with Dipper in a dark room. “A few days ago, a mysterious woman calling herself Haruko Haruhara had taken up residence at your temporary residence of 618 Gopher Road. Y'know, a baguette would've hit harder.”

“Listen sir, I didn't intend on hurting my grunkle!” Dipper claimed. “He was already knocked out when I found him and suddenly he was sitting down at a table all in one piece! He then started talking about how he's really got along with Haruko and and and-” The boy started frantically hyperventilating when Amarao put an end to it. “Simmer down kid.” the large eyebrowed government agent said. “Here, have a drink.” He gave Dipper a cup of tea and started putting in a few sugar cubes. “Heard you're not a big fan of spicy things. I can relate.”

“Like I said, I didn't intend on hitting him! I was just really freaked out. But thanks anyway.” Dipper responded taking the drink. “I've only heard stories about Stan and his criminal record, from pug trafficking, con artistry across multiple states, llamacide, helping transport of illegal goods, etc.” Amarao stated. “But Haruhara is him times eleven. She'll manipulate anyone to her whim to help her achieve her goals. But here she is as the object of affection for you and your uncle.”

“Wait, are you implying that Stan might have the hots for Haruko?!” Dipper exclaimed spitting out his drink. “But he's pushing sixty and she's like 19 or something!” The boy was briefly taken aback by this revelation until he noticed he spat out his drink all over Amarao. “I am so sorry man, let me help you clean that up!” he stuttered trying to search for a towel. “No need Pines, I got it covered.” he replied pulling a napkin from his suit and wiping off his face.

“So you refer to Haruhara by her first name. Are you two close?” Amarao asked. “I'm not really a big fan of her.” Dipper replied. “She's your batting coach, right?” his interrogator added. “Kind of.” the boy replied. “Do you like her swing?” the older man continued on. “I told you, I didn't intend on it! Haruko has nothing to do with this!” Dipper responded. “Then why? Because you were jealous?”

Dipper was too embarrassed to respond. “I've got a big question for you, did she ever mention anything about the Galaxy Space Police Brotherhood or the Pirate King Atomsk?” Amarao inquired. “Make sure you don't tell anyone about our little chat because it's very important, that includes your family as well.”

“Okay, thank you sir. I didn't really get your name.” Dipper said. “I'm Commander Amarao of the US government's Department of Interstellar Immigration. Thank you for your time boy.” he replied, but Dipper was already too distracted by his eyebrows. “Eyebrows.” he mumbled. “What was that about my eyebrows squirt?!” Amarao barked. “Nothing.”

“A state of emergency has been declared in Gravity Falls.” the voice from the blimp continued later that day over the deserted town. “All citizens evacuate immediately. No need to run like hell, please proceed in an orderly fashion.”

Dipper had arrived home to find his great uncle's dead body yet again but now Waddles started sniffing it. “What is it Waddles?” he asked the pig, who oinked in reply. “You're saying this isn't the real Grunkle Stan?” he continued. “Then where is he?”

Waddles led his master's brother to the boiler room across from Ford's bedroom, which contained an unplugged Tumbleweed Terror machine, a television, mattress and more but the item that caught their eye was the trash can which let off a familiar smell. Taking off the lid, Dipper found nothing except the shriveled up body of Stan, stripped down to his underclothes, staring right at him.

Screaming as loud as he can, Dipper rushed his uncle to the bathroom where he tossed him in the bathtub and turned on the water. “C'mon Stan, wake up wake up!” he cried. During this process, he started seeing images of Mabel being hoisted into the air by Canti on the water tower.

“Check it out everyone, I'm king of the world!” Mabel exclaimed as the Medical Machine held her high. “I always wanted to do that, thanks Canti!” Just then, Haruko zoomed on her Vespa below them, much to her surprise. “What's Haruko doing in such a rush?”

Meanwhile back at the Shack, Dipper had brought Stan back to normal after dumping a few buckets of water on him. “Oy, what just happened?” the elderly con artist woozily asked. “And what smells like a dead body?” Dipper was too busy dumping water on him to reply. “I guess I wasn't good enough for Haruko. She asked if she could use my head and I was happy to oblige, but I guess I died for a bit.” That's when the child remembered some more words Amarao said to him.

“N.O uses the left and right brain's distinct thought processes to open up an interdimensional channel capable of transporting things, sometimes from lightyears away in an instant.” he stated. “But she can't use just anyone's head, you gotta find the right one.”

“Grunkle Stan,” Dipper said to him. “I think Haruko might be using us for her own plans, and she wants my head.” Stan, continuing to pour water on himself, agreed. “You might be right, Haruko is not your ordinary houseguest.” As if they spoke of the devil, the Rickenbacker babe barged through the door on her scooter and running over the other Stan, much to the two's surprise.

“What you encountered was a high-tech mannequin that was created to look like your great uncle.” Amarao continued. “The equivalent of a vending machine. When the chips are down, few people can really swing the bat. Right now there's a satellite carrying a bomb heading straight for this town. This evacuation is pretty much pointless since nobody will survive the impact. I want you to go home and tell her, tell her to swing one more out of the park. Tell her it's a request from a hometown fan.”

“Yo.” Haruko greeted the two as Dipper picked up the fake Stan's head. “What's with this robo-Stan anyway?” he asked. “Who are you really?” After a moment of blankly staring at the two, Haruko replied rather fabulously. “I'm an illusion of your youth, the manifestation of the feelings in your adolescent heart!”

“Where did you get that crazy line, one of Soos' anime?” the lad asked again. “Anyway, there's a satellite falling from Earth's orbit that'll kill us all once it reaches here.” Just then, Ford burst into the living room as well in a panic. “Dipper, thank goodness you're still here!” he exclaimed. “Listen, we have to leave immediately because a government satellite is falling from the sky and is headed for here! I think we should all move to Ontario and become doctor-lawyer-scientists!” He then turned his attention to what's left of the robot replica of his brother. “Not even going to ask.”

“A double header takes a lot out of you.” Haruko stated. “Tell the hometown fan it's going to be expensive.” Ford was uneasy about this. “Wait, she's going to help us stop that satellite? But she might just give up and leave us all for dead!” Stan on the other hand was angered by his smarter brother's words. “Listen you stupid genius, Haruko knows her way around this stuff so if you think she's still untrustworthy, then you can just do it yourself and be the hero everyone says you are!”

“Ugh, fine.” Ford groaned turning to her. “So what do you say, reluctant partners?” he asked extending his hands. “Reluctant partners Doc Brown.” she replied shaking his hand.

“I say we file a complaint!” Kitsurubami exclaimed as she, Amarao, Powers and Trigger met at the diner. Trigger was currently on the phone speaking with the government about replacement soldiers and a new base. “No, the satellite bomb was our secret backup plan in case of dire emergency.” Amarao responded. “We can't let it go public. She really is a terror, that Raharu.”

“Raharu?” Powers wondered as his superior pulled out a picture of Mabel and Haruko wearing matching sweaters. “Haruko Raharu.” he replied. “Her plan is to penetrate us, the foreign embassy and the Medical Mechanica. That's why she made this whole thing happen.”

“And she's willing to kill hundreds just to get her way.” Trigger thought getting off the phone as they spotted Haruko & Dipper on her Vespa with Stan and Ford driving close behind. “Those poor kids.” Just then, the waitress showed up at their table opening her closed eye. “So, any of you want something?” she asked. “We'll take four coffee omelets to go please.” Kitsurubami answered.

Dipper's forehead began blinking again as his pine tree hat flew off his head. “Whoa, I think there might be another robot coming!” he cried. “Don't fret kid, Medical Mechanica is just up ahead!” Ford responded pointing towards the factory. “Why the Jekyll does it look like a giant clothes iron?” Stan added.

“Whoa!” Mabel gasped as the satellite moved closer to the town. “Hey Canti, do you think that satellite looks like the Satellite of Love?” she asked her robot companion, who just shrugged in reply before noticing a red blinking light atop Medical Mechanica, and the girl noticed it too. “Hey, that must be Dipper!” she exclaimed. “But what's he doing up there? C'mon Canti, we gotta get over there!” The machine nodded as she hopped on his shoulders and flew off.

“Isn't this where it's heading?” Dipper wondered as he sat atop the robot plant. “By my calculations, this location would take the least damage.” Ford explained examining the current location of the satellite. “Thanks for being a nerd man, now here we go!” Haruko said as she placed a cloth around Dipper's head and started pressing on his scalp. “Hey, what're you doing to me?” he groaned as she started digging around. “Just hold still!” she said continuing on with her task.

“What is she even doing?” the Stan twins said in unison. “Ha, you owe me a beer if we survive! Ha, you owe me two beers if we survive! Now you owe me three beers!” they exclaimed. “Okay, I think we should-hey, quit saying what I'm saying!” Just then, Canti came flying in with Mabel on his head. “Hey everyone, what's up?” she called as he landed before them. “Oh, we're just trying to save the town from a satellite that's going to crash and kill us all!” Ford replied.

“Hey, I didn't know boys were this sensitive here!” Haruko stated as she continued with Dipper's head. “Please, stop touching me there!” the boy replied  before she began pulling out a red object. “Well what're you waitin' for, pop it already!” the Vespa woman struggled pulling on it. “If I rush, it won't pop! Please start going slow!” Dipper cried still groaning before she finally pulled out the object, revealing itself to be a Gibson Flying V. “What is that?” he asked gazing at it. “It's your 'bat'.” she replied. “Wait a minute, that's a Gibson Flying V!” Stan exclaimed. “Just like Albert King!” Ford added.

“Impressive.” Kitsurubami moaned as her nose started bleeding while the four government agents watched the event from afar. “Does Haruko really think that kid is going to save us all?” Agent Powers inquired. “Does everyone back at base have the lowdown?” Trigger spoke into his earpiece. “Positive Trigger, we have cameras all over Gravity Falls!” a female agent back at Washington stated, her nose bleeding as well. “Tracking altitude, now entering final descent!”

“Purge sequence initiate!” another bloody-nosed agent ordered as the satellite began falling apart and rocketing towards Gravity Falls, making the sky glow various colors. “It's entering the lower atmosphere!”

“It's getting closer everyone, get behind Canti!” Ford exclaimed as he, Stan and Mabel did so. “Now if you do it like I showed you, it'll be perfect.” Haruko said holding Dipper close to her. “It's okay?” he responded before they all turned to it. “Hey here it comes, keep your eye on it kid! Ready?” she exclaimed as the satellite got closer. “That boy is....” Kitsurubami exclaimed. “That kid will never pull it off!” Amarao finished her sentence. “Impact is imminent!” the woman back at Washington announced as the satellite turned into a giant hand and then immediately fell apart.

“What, but that's impossible!” Dipper exclaimed. “Haruko? Haruko!” He looked around for her but returned his attention to the giant machine headed straight for him. “It's spinning!” Powers shouted. “It's a sinker!” Trigger added. As the object, now turned into a giant sphere, got closer to Dipper, time somehow came to a complete stop followed by the sky around him shattering like glass as three figures flew down.

“Ah, I see the bearer of Atomsk's Horn is here.” the first figure wearing a red cape said. “And it's a little boy too!” the second one in a white haramaki sash added. “Who would've guessed?” the third with hair like fire exclaimed. “Wait, who are you freaks?” Ford exclaimed looking at the three. “No, that's impossible! He should be dead!” he muttered fearfully. “What're you talkin' about?” Stan asked. “IT'S DIAMOND BRANDY!” his brother screamed in horror. “Ah, at last somebody recognizes me.” Diamond Brandy pridefully announced chuckling. “And you must be the one who took my treasured mask.”

“I'll never hand over the Eyes of Heaven you heathen!” the scientist boldly stated glaring at Brandy's two new minions. “Listen to us old man, hand it over or we'll turn your flesh into a fine quiche!” the one in the haramaki sash cackled madly. “No, I think we should turn him into a fine stew.” the firehead rebutted. “Stews are for foolish mortals, I say we make him into a quiche!” his partner exclaimed. Before they could continue debating, Canti gave them what for by beating them both up. “I'm still saying quiche!”

“ENOUGH YOU TWO IDIOTS!” Brandy angrily bellowed before turning his attention to Dipper. “So you want to 'swing the bat', am I right?” he purred. “Uh, yeah.” the boy replied sheepishly. “Well then, allow me to help you. Stinger, Loggken, get over here!” The two rose up and floated over to their master, hugging each other as they began to glow. Eventually Brandy started glowing when he joined in on the hug and they all formed into a titan of insane power. “Now then, play ball.” the beast said as he flew behind the sphere and time restarted.

“SATELLITE SMASH!!!” he screamed as he pushed it closer to Dipper, who was howling in terror. “Takkun!” he finally shouted, which caused the symbol from chapter 2 to appear on Canti's screen again as well as his forehead. “Maybe when the chips are down, he's too scared to swing the bat.” Haruko said as she zipped down the building on her Vespa. “Depending on what happens here, to all the folks reading this, sayonara!” She said her goodbyes to the readers before noticing that all the lights turned on and shined incredibly brightly as Dipper struggled to hit the sphere being pushed by the fusion of Diamond Brandy, Stinger and Loggken when suddenly, his “bat” set on fire. “What?!” he exclaimed.

“It's pushing him back!” Kitsurubami shouted. “He swung the bat.” Amarao said. Dipper continued to struggle as the “bat” continued burning brightly. “Wait, is that....” the titan exclaimed as his form began to distort. “It can't be!” Just then, the sphere stopping spinning as it started pulsing. “Oh no, it's going to blow up!” Trigger exclaimed as it prepared to self-destruct. Dipper watched in horror as he prepared to meet his fate when suddenly, Haruko jumped into the air, Rickenbacker in hand and slammed it as well.

“NO.....NO!!!” the titan screamed before finally defusing, leaving Diamond Brandy to be launched into the air while Stinger and Loggken started glowing, somehow turning back into the scientists Stuart and Ken from earlier this chapter. The impact started shaking up the town something fierce, causing various small earthquakes as the sky reverted to blue and Brandy was propelled skyward, screaming along the way.

“I-I can't believe it.” Stan gasped in awe. “Dipper....” Ford added. “He finally swung the bat!” Mabel cheered as she ran out and hugged her brother. “You did it Dipper, we're all alive!” she cried before noticing that Dipper was rendered unconscious. “Think we should let him rest sweetie.” Stan said to his great-niece as he came to her side. “And maybe we should find where those two idiots should go.” he added pointing to Stuart and Ken, who were laughing wildly and hugging. “I can't believe we're still alive!” Stuart cried. “Thank you guys!” Ken thanked the Pines family. “Is there anything we can do to repay you?”

“How about we bring you back to where you belong?” Ford offered. “That'd be great! We work for the Department of Interstellar Immigration.” Stuart said.

Before anyone knew it, it was finally over. Haruko was driving back to the Mystery Shack on her Vespa with Dipper sleeping beneath her and Mabel clinging onto her back. Stan, Ford & Canti followed behind on the Stanleymobile with Stuart and Ken with them. “What'd I tell you Ford, she is pretty trustworthy.” Stan said to his brother. “Okay, you're sort of right about that, but I can't help but feel she's got bigger plans for us.” Ford said. “Diamond Brandy is now brought back to life and he knows about Dipper's horn. I think we should try and keep the kids safe from him at all costs.” The trickster didn't listen as he continued driving. “You're not even listening are you?”

“Hey, if you guys pass by a red-haired man with big eyebrows and his partners, they're with us.” Stuart said from the backseat. “In fact, they there are right now!” Ken added pointing to Amarao, Kitsurubami, Powers and Trigger standing on the side of the road. “Oh no, not those two guys.” Stan whispered. “Thankfully we wiped all their memories of your case, so we might be in the clear.” Ford responded as they exited the car.

“Greetings friendly neighborhood law enforcers!” Stan greeted them nervously. “Are these the nutty professors you're looking for?” he asked. “Yes indeed they are sir,” Powers answered. “last we saw of them, they've been brainwashed by a mad god-wannabe into becoming his minions and now, here they are.” The two scientists were happy to see their superiors again. “We really missed you guys!” Ken said as hugged Powers incredibly tight. “Please get off of me Simpson.” he groaned. “I think it looks like we need to take you two back to Washington for extensive rehabilitation.”

“We'll be back with more men, but you two are on your own from here on out. Good luck.” Trigger added as they walked away with the scientists, who waved farewell. “Thank you Ronald.” Amarao said before turning back to Stan. “I've got my eye on you Pines.” he coldly stated to the elder. Stan reacted by slowly stepping backwards before returning to the car.

As they all drove back home, Haruko looked down at Dipper before starting to laugh wildly. “Crisis report.” Amarao said. “All systems functioning online and normally. The satellite achieved escape velocity at gamma-four.” Kitsurubami replied. “Bomb neutralized, satellite en-route to galaxies unknown!”

“Drat.” Amarao grumbled as one of his eyebrows fell off, much to his companion's shock.

Meanwhile in the deepest recesses of space, the satellite drifted throughout the cosmos with Diamond Brandy still clinging on to it. “He has.....Firestarter.” he thought to himself. “He will.....BE MINE.” He cracked an evil smile despite being frozen from the cold of space, as he began concocting another plan.

Hey dudes, Soos here! Wow, only two chapters left and this'll all be over! Anyway, big shout out to a user named The Tell-Tale Man for being such a great reviewer.

Anyway, join us next time for Fooly Falls chapter 5. It's gonna be like a John Woo film, just you wait!

[allaboutd2]

At 8pm on Sunday 15th of January, the first fully fledged mixed show, men’s and women, is taking place Via Bovisasca 59 in Milan, as part of the men’s fashion week.

Secrets are well kept therefore we barely know anything about it. The hashtag is #D2gether, probably for the mixed gender aspect.

Some meagre pieces of the puzzle might have been intentionally fed to us, but these are so cryptic that it is hard to make sense of what is supposed to be going on.

The venue seems to be a trendy complex of restaurant, cultural centre, venue…called Spirit de Milan. The after party there should be absolutely mighty, and as always it will be heartbreaking to be in bed imagining the antics of all these beautiful people in fabulous clothes, dancing into the wee hours. With a free bar.

We know that there will be jewelery for both sexes. Yes, men too. Designed by Finish born Petteri Hemmila and made by jewellers AZ at their San Danielle factory. It seems that there will be Swarowsky diamond crowns and brooches in flower motifs mounted on peaked caps.

  Necklace (not for D2) by Petteri Hemmila

The theme is hard to guess from the three distinct clips posted by the official D2 Instagram account. Last year when we attempted to infer the theme from the clips, we were rather far-off, therefore caution is necessary. However if we had to guess from them we would risk this: a blend of Amish/Quackers, Canadian Lumberjacks, and Grunge.

Grunge

Canuck

Amish

D2 clips have a tendency to be bleak and with an apocalyptic feel. In reality the shows are usually quite fun and colourful. So let’s brace ourselves and let’s all meet on social media Sunday night to report on our first impressions! Hasta pronto

________________________________________________________________

If you liked this post, thanks for clicking the like button or leaving a comment, and don’t forget to follow us on Instagram!

First Dsquared2 co-ed show…Just over one day to go At 8pm on Sunday 15th of January, the first fully fledged mixed show, men's and women, is taking place Via Bovisasca 59 in Milan, as part of the men's fashion week.

[nova0000scotia]

the workers who built our Canada.... the hard way in the hard days.   BLOGGED:   MINERS-Nova Scotia and world, we love u... The Working Man- Springhill and Nova Scotia Coal Mining Disasters- (THE BIG ONE) October 23, 1958 - Glace Bay -We Remember- and God bless the everyday workers- our miners our fishers, factories, truckers, waitresses, homecare, farmers, plumbers, electricians, police, firefighters, first responders, rescue workers, aides, construction, lumberjacks and troops/prayed and worked hard for Chile/Links /Westray Mine Disaster Digby/ 16 Tons - Wadda ya get... another day older and deeper in debt... I owe my soul 2 the company store.... Tennessee Ernie Ford /Loretta Lynn Well... I was born a coal miner's daughter.... making a poor man's dollar/Rita MacNeil Working Man /1961 -Big Bad John  http://nova0000scotia.blogspot.com/2015/11/springhill-mining-disaster-big-one.html

[nova0000scotia]

blogged:   MINERS-Nova Scotia and world, we love u... The Working Man- Springhill and Nova Scotia Coal Mining Disasters- (THE BIG ONE) October 23, 1958 - Glace Bay -We Remember- and God bless the everyday workers- our miners our fishers, factories, truckers, waitresses, homecare, farmers, plumbers, electricians, police, firefighters, first responders, rescue workers, aides, construction, lumberjacks and troops/prayed and worked hard for Chile/Links /Westray Mine Disaster Digby/ 16 Tons - Wadda ya get... another day older and deeper in debt... I owe my soul 2 the company store.... Tennessee Ernie Ford /Loretta Lynn Well... I was born a coal miner's daughter.... making a poor man's dollar/Rita MacNeil Working Man /1961 -Big Bad John  Nova Scotia http://nova0000scotia.blogspot.com/2015/11/springhill-mining-disaster-big-one.html

[lokisgoodgirl]

Why, pray, is he gripping the microphone like one would grasp one's cock but just like 15 inches higher

I acknowledge that there are only so many ways one can hold a mic but still.. 😑. That vneck is too much man Im out. Look at his bulge at the seams of those chino things. Look at his forearm muscle straining out of that little lumberjack shirt. Done Take out the trash. Aka me Ally stop 😂😂

@fictive-sl0th @lunarnights95 @gigglingtigger @muddyorbsblr @joyful-enchantress @holdmytesseract @alexakeyloveloki @maple-seed @coldnique @lokikissesmyforehead @michelleleewise @vbecker10 @mochie85 @peaches1958 @thomase1 @simplyholl @give-me-a-moose @superficialdomina @cheekyscamp @sarahscribbles @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @multifandom-worlds @liminalpebble @psychospore

Please just look at how slutty he is.

He's so slutty I'm gonna die 😩so innocent with his thick, spread thighs and little frown that says I'm going to spank you so hard for that comment when we get home

Sigh.

I'm not even going to comment on the sluttish unbuttonings. Edit: Actually, I lied. WhY mUsT he B ThIs wAy I kind of like how he's dressed like a normal dude™️ who has come home from work exhausted from a long day at the lumberjack factory and sitting on the couch trying to decide whether to have a nap or a wank. 🤣🤣

Annnyway happpppy Tuesday folksies @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @gigglingtigger @mochie85 @vbecker10 @superficialdomina @lovelysizzlingbluebird @simplyholl @coldnique @maple-seed @muddyorbsblr @sarahscribbles @lokiprompts @give-me-a-moose @cake-writes @lokikissesmyforehead @fictive-sl0th @holdmytesseract @multifandom-worlds @psychospore @littlespaceyelf @liminalpebble @plushcrushdoll @thomase1 @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @meowmeow-motherfucker @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @holymultiplefandomsbatman +++❤️

[lokisgoodgirl]

I have nothing to add to this I just wanna give you a hug in solidarity 😆👑

Please just look at how slutty he is.

He's so slutty I'm gonna die 😩so innocent with his thick, spread thighs and little frown that says I'm going to spank you so hard for that comment when we get home

Sigh.

I'm not even going to comment on the sluttish unbuttonings. Edit: Actually, I lied. WhY mUsT he B ThIs wAy I kind of like how he's dressed like a normal dude™️ who has come home from work exhausted from a long day at the lumberjack factory and sitting on the couch trying to decide whether to have a nap or a wank. 🤣🤣

Annnyway happpppy Tuesday folksies @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @gigglingtigger @mochie85 @vbecker10 @superficialdomina @lovelysizzlingbluebird @simplyholl @coldnique @maple-seed @muddyorbsblr @sarahscribbles @lokiprompts @give-me-a-moose @cake-writes @lokikissesmyforehead @fictive-sl0th @holdmytesseract @multifandom-worlds @psychospore @littlespaceyelf @liminalpebble @plushcrushdoll @thomase1 @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @meowmeow-motherfucker @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @holymultiplefandomsbatman +++❤️