#a goddamn rollercoaster

[kindahoping4forever]

The 5SOS Show Tour London - 5 October 2023

Via 5SOS IG Story

[onlyifyoubadd]

they killed a transwoman when toi ting's dad was RIGHT THERE!

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Grief was a heavy thing. 

It was supposed to be, at least. Tobio had heard it time and time again — how it weighed you down in your bones, sank under your skin, could shatter your heart like glass beneath the overwhelming pressure of it all.

But standing in front of his grandfather’s altar, Tobio didn’t feel heavy. Instead there was a hollowness, wide and aching, thrumming in his veins. His mind was blank; everything around him was white noise. It was all fuzzy and dim, and he probably would have kept standing there forever if Miwa hadn’t tugged on his arm.

“Come on,” she murmured. “It’s getting late. You need to sleep.”

Tobio blinked, tilted his head down at her. Some distant voice inside him noted that he was getting too old and too tall to let Miwa baby him like when they had been kids, but right now he was content to tuck himself against her shoulder as she swept him past people who talked in hushed voices and glanced over at them every so often. Tobio didn’t register any of it, but Miwa’s grip tightened around him. 

“Did you see? The parents actually left early. Those poor children . . .”

“I heard the boy was practically raised by Kazuyo, I don’t understand how he can look so cold about this.”

“The girl ran from home as soon as she could, and this is the only time she returns? Completely disgraceful!”

“Such a shameful funeral, honestly, Kazuyo deserves much better than something so improper.”

Down the hall, turn right, out the double doors, past the crumbling stone steps and into a fresh breeze and the night sky. It really was a beautiful temple — the center courtyard was lit by stone lanterns glowing honey-yellow, and the trees and flowers were in bloom. It was one of the smaller ones, which Kazuyo would have liked. Even with all his talent, Tobio’s grandfather had never been one for pomp and circumstance.

“Who cares about tradition?” he had said once, eyes crinkling with a smile. “Just dump me in a ditch and bury me there. Good fertilizer. We can grow bell peppers over my body.”

Tobio’s heart clenched at the memory. He didn’t think bell peppers would ever taste the same again. 

Nothing would ever be the same again.

“Nee-san,” he said softly, the first he had spoken the entire day. It sounded alien to him. Like he couldn’t quite comprehend that the words were coming from his own mouth. “What do we do now?”

Anyone else would probably have thought that Tobio was asking a literal question, but Miwa always understood him. She was the only person other than Kazuyo who did. 

She squeezed him tight. “We grieve. We heal. We learn what feelings to let go of and what to keep. And we don’t ever, ever forget how much Kazuyo-kun loved us — and how much we loved him.”

Loved, not love. Tobio didn’t know if he could do that. Kazuyo had taught him to love in the here and now, to cherish all the things you held dear and hold them in your heart as you moved forward. He had never taught Tobio how to love in the past tense. He had never taught Tobio how to love somebody who was no longer there.

— excerpt from so long, a character study of kageyama tobio and what his grandfather meant to him

[mxnkeydo]

I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH I FINISHED ATPWH

[dumbasssdoodles]

Might be a bit niche but eh

[toomuchbloodinmyalcoholsystem]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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[jaggededges123]

i'm going on hiatus for a little bit again after fiab XD just so y'all are aware

[nxt-raw-fanfiction]

Summerslam...

AAAAAAAAA!!! I'm gonna have to take a few days off from writing, to figure out what I want to do. I'll check back in in a few days.

[paradoxpig]

Just finished watching Moral Orel.

Man, if they arent already making students study that show in creative arts schools...they need to.

[local-soda-can]

i have two live reactions(as my friends like to call them) this is one of them :D

(this is part 1/??? of this live reaction)

me: oh boy! my other friend wants to also rp their own nightmare time episode! let’s see how this goes :3

(@pastriibunz <— this is the friend btw go check them out :DDD)

[pop-punklouis]

-

[stevestark]

10 year old Erica Sinclair asked to climb through a vent and saying "I don't have phobias" played as a joke

but then they're in a Russian lab and she's still not afraid. she's mad about missing a sleepover and Uncle Jack's birthday party

she helps Dustin rescue Robin and Steve and doesn't show an ounce of fear

she yells at Murray and clowns the adults and tells them why their plan is bullshit

she hikes up to Cerebro and helps Dustin reach Suzie

she never once is afraid, even though it's meant to be a joke when she said that

when she's invited to Hellfire, Eddie goes full dickhead senior and talks down to her thinking the kids are pulling his leg and not taking him or the game seriously

and does she falter? no! she gives as good as she gets and rips him a new one because social pecking orders are stupid and she can handle her shit

when the cops start flinging mud at Hellfire she snaps the fuck back

when they drag Lucas, Max, and Dustin in as suspects she doesn't waver in her assurance that Hellfire has nothing to do with the deaths

when they tell her it's something from before she isn't scared — she starts asking the right questions to help them win

she walks into a store that caters to people who hate anyone who looks like her and fills the cart with weapons and supplies

the only time — THE ONLY TIME— we see her afraid is when she can't get through the door to Lucas

because she might think she's better than everyone in Hawkins (she is)

she might think she can handle her shit (she can)

but she does have one (1) phobia

because she might be fierce and formidable and badass

but her greatest strength is her loyalty. she likes to act like her only loyalty is to her bottom line, to what Erica gets out of this

but these stupid weirdos earned her loyalty too

and she'll be damned if she can't save them

[travellingtribble]

old people TV shows are such a fun experience you never know if you're gonna watch a silly little episode with a silly little guy or casual misogyny and racism. and homophobia too if you're lucky enough!

[dweam-en-eff]

"yo, gayinnit"

[nowhere-to-go-but-down]

🏅 and 🌙 for the fanfic asks!!

Thanks for the ask!

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

There's a lot of things I could say, but I think I want to go with the one that's a bit of a story. The writing discord I'm a part of holds 'book clubs' every other week, where we each bring a piece of a WIP to read out and receive criticism on. We held one just a couple days ago, and after I finished my reading the first comment was, and I quote, "first up holy shit". I'll be running on that for a while, if I'm honest xD.

🌙  What time of day do you prefer to write? Why?

I think recently midnight's the only time I've been able to make progress at all. The reasons may include how there's less distractions on mobile compared to my laptop, but I'm just going to chalk it up to the unfathomable whims of brain chemistry.

[pattiannlupone]

i want to take a day, an early morning flight, and go to disneyworld early one saturday morning and then come home sunday afternoon. spend the morning in the park, then check into the hotel, spend evening at the pool, then go back to the park for dinner and late-night shenanigans.

beneath neon lights and artificial stone, amidst strict greenery and the occasional rustle of a leaf on the breeze, think about kissing in abandoned corners, grazing lips and teeth and rock.

i wish for one thing but to experience wonderment. it’s something my mental health has taken from me. i used to be able to draw and draw, and today i drew, and everything was existential.

what can i do but click the first search result for “magical places.” what can i do but look behind me, a distant glistening memory from before it was all too real. what can i do but return to the place i was, at the very least, safe.

and yes, there is artifice. but you’re aware of it, and that awareness amplifies the high, i think. nothing’s real here. nothing’s real. not you, not the character you took a photo with, not even the beer you’re drinking for the crisp shock of hops on a sweltering Saturday afternoon. and for long enough, it doesn’t have to be.

is there not relief in ignorance?