#a gift to the people you hate
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Hi axelle! 😸 I've seen almost all bls but I haven't watched any gmmtv het show. which one would you recommend to a newbie? I prefer something light and funny. my favorite actors are Off, Gawin and Neo
hi! I'm glad you're gonnna give non bl thai dramas a chance, and as for your fave actors... TASTE 😌 here's my fave non bl gmmtv shows from best to still good but not the best:
the gifted: simply an amazing & super unique show with very little flaws & one of the best open-endings ever. haven't been able to bring myself to watch the sequel so watch that at your own discretion.
midnight motel: my favorite show of the year so far, fun & quirky, super tight execution, great plot twists, iconic characters & simply one of the most underrated shows ever. contains off & neo so you'll love it 100%!
ps: I hate you: the best female-led show I've ever seen. there's messiness & drama and the characters are all super flawed but you still root for them! the performances are also incredible & this show is truly one of my all time faves!
angel beside me: the first more classic romcom of the list, but despite being kind of a silly premise with an angel falling on earth, it actually tackles some really deep issues like depression & poverty??? and the chemistry & bond between the characters was crazy good. I definitely recommend!
happy birthday: this show will make you cry for 13 eps straight but you'll love it. it has some of the best performances ever & is just the kind of show that hits you right in the chest with feels & beauty. absolutely one of my most beloved thai dramas.
a gift to the people you hate: such an underrated show but absolutely iconic! if you like messiness & plot twists, you'll love this one! it's just unhinged & has a really cool world-building!!!
girl next room: richy rich: since your 3 faves are off, neo & gawin I really recommend you watch this! richy rich is off's most popular straight series bc he's simply perfect in this role (and biconic!!!), and gawin is in the motorbike baby story as mook's second lead & he???? absolutely ate, he's so dreamy in that! neo is in every story & absolutely hilarious (especially in the scenes with off, you cannot miss girl next room!
love at first hate: classic romcom but the chemistry is some of the best & the male lead??? IS DADDY MCDREAMY!!! a really enjoyable series!
46 days: another series with the offmild pairing from girl next room, and this show is crazy but has such fun characters, great chemistry & even the villain is my fave??? the whole cast is the best & it's the only show by this director that is truly genuinely so good!
mint to be: another romcom with mook bc she's the romcom queen lol, this one is short & sweet, the chemistry is excellent & the cast is really fun. there's none of your faves in it BUT one of the characters is obsessed with off who's an idol in that show & she has pillows with his face on it and it's ICONIC!!!
who are you: one of the most acclaimed gmmtv shows, notably for its actresses namtan & jan who acted their ass off in it! it's a really well done show with insanely good acting, but the reason it's not higher on this list is that it's a bit forgettable? it was in my top 10 fave shows from 2021 though.
my dear loser: monster romance: another romcom with mook lol no one is surprised, this one actually really surprised me bc it was the first time I saw lee outside of his usual perfect role. look, I love the man but most of his roles are kinda... boring? and here he ate. the whole universe of the show is super different from usual & the love story is very cute, and honestly it immediately became one of my fave straight thai romances!
baker boys: another show where lee plays a really good role! this one contains queer characters but is not a bl at all. I LOVED the found family trope of it, and literally cried when it ended bc I got really attached to the characters & me crying when a show ends is a huge indicator that I loved it. sadly this show is pretty tainted now bc my fave character was played by foei who's famously an anti-lgbtq+ bitch so yeah... but if you can stomach his bigot face I'd say give it a try, pluem plays one of the cutest characters in existence!
(also just realized I completely missed the light & funny prompt lmao. the most light & funny shows in this list are: girl next room, love at first hate, 46 days & mint to be!)
xxx
#answers#gmmtv#the gifted#midnight motel#ps: I hate you#angel beside me#happy birthday#a gift to the people you hate#girl next room: richy rich#love at first hate#46 days#mint to be#who are you#my dear loser: monster romance#baker boys#didn't expect the list to be this long but gmmtv non bl shows are actually more often better than the bl ones LMAO
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Happy Halloween! 🧼🥩🎃
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mouthwashing#lan wangji#wei wuxian#A mouthwashing crossover was always the plan but I ran out of time for a bigger comic. So a doodle it is!#***I am about to talk about some stuff that is not for the squeamish so please take caution from here on out***:#Okay. I know that people who know what goes down in mouthwashing are seeing this and going 'OP Why?'#BUT HERE ME OUT: Wangxian's canon kink dynamic would not bat an eye at this.#You think Wei 'I love being tied up and at the mercy of my loved one' Wuxian would *pass* on amputee-caregiver abuse roleplay???#No! He's a freak like that! 'Oh nooo I have only residual limbs and no voice to protest. And I need to take my medicine...'#Oh we even have a bonus cannibalism thing going on here. Maybe WWX needs to bring cannibalism into the bedroom. To heal.#They are not sane nor safe but certainly consensual.#Convincing Lan Wangji to get into the Jimmy cosplay is probably the most unrealistic part of this.#We hate Jimmy. That's why he is such an amazing character.#LWJ is his near polar opposite. Man takes responsibility like it's his daily vitamin.#edit: how could I forget. Happy birthday to wei wuxian. Being a freak in peace is the ultimate gift I can give him.
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Amren was right. They hate Elain because they ain’t Elain.
#elain archeron#elriel#I’m convinced antis are just jealous of elain#I mean who wouldn’t be#she’s kind#got a rockin bod#can cook and bake and garden#the hottest men alive want her#she’s smart and gifted with seer powers#mysterious and alluring#introverted but sociable#funny with the people who are close to her#determined and wants to be helpful/wants to have a purpose#everybody loves her bc she’s just that type of person#if you hate elain I know you’re not a girls’ girl
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imo a core part of the newmann dynamic is like... you've got these two very very intelligent people who have spent most of their lives being Smartest Guy In The Room. which feels great! but also, it's very hard to form close and trusting relationships when everyone else sees you as Smartest Guy In The Room. and if you maybe don't have great social skills to begin with, you can't figure out how to compensate. and it's hard to build up solid self-esteem when the only thing people value you for is your intelligence, and a lot of them resent you for that, too. so really it is very very lonely.
and then they meet! and neither of them is the smartest guy in the room anymore! and that is both EXHILIRATING (omg! someone who gets me!) and TERRIFYING (the fragile pillar i built my whole self-esteem on is crumbling! help!).
they do NOT know how to cope with this. best they can do is being obsessed with each other.
#newmann#newton geiszler#hermann gottlieb#unscientific aside#pacific rim#i dont talk about the whole Gifted Kid thing much because people get shitty about it but like#i think 90% of the time it's not ''oh i am smarter than all these losers. they are beneath me. i am so bored in their company''#it's ''im just vibing but for some reason my peers hate me??? what did i do''#+ poor social skills#and then the way you GET the asshole ''all these less intelligent beings are beneath me'' side of it is#the kid isnt given any tools to cope with being ostracized aside from ''don't worry what they think b/c you're smarter than them anyway''#also. thinking about One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces in relation to newt#i'm your nightmare little man!
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Why do the IC of Feyre expect Nesta to play house with them when they can't respect her boundary with Solstice? She told Feyre it wasn't 'their holiday', which already makes it clear that she's uninterested in adapting to fae traditions. It's not a personal insult, it's a boundary that makes complete sense.
Solstice is a religious holiday, where you thank the mother, or whatever. Given that The Mother seems to come in tandem with The Cauldron, not wanting to celebrate it after what they went through makes complete sense. Now that I think about it, Feyre spends ACOMAF being mad that Tamlin and Ianthe did this to her; Forced her into uncomfortable social situations with people she didn't want to be around.
To Nesta, it's Feyre's birthday but nothing more, in which case, Feyre could've invited Nesta to a brunch with her and Elain. Nesta literally invited them to eat with her, but Feyre said no. If they had a conversation, I'm sure that they would've found a place to eat together that suited all of the, even if it was just at Nesta's apartment, or a day when the town house was empty. Or maybe one of Rhysand's other six houses.
There were so many work arounds that would respect Nesta's boundaries, probably go farther to helping her heal, and been fun for all of them. A win win situation.
Besides, if you invited someone to your celebration of a religious holiday, and they said 'no' out of respect for their own culture, religion, traditions, or just because they didn't want to, wouldn't you just accept the answer and move on?
On top of all this, Cassian through a temper tantrum the moment Nesta rejected his gift. Dude, if you used all that intelligence you supposedly have as a General, you'd realise what the issue is.
#anti inner circle#anti rhysand#nesta deserves better#pro nesta#anti acosf#pro nesta archeron#anti ic#anti mor#anti amren#anti morrigan#anti feyre#anti rhys#anti cassian#anti nessian#seriously#I never understood this#And Cassian!#There are villages of people who you claim hate your guts for being born#and the most offensive thing someone has done to you is reject a gift?#Or set a boundary?
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uhhh I’m bored so hot take: this fandom constantly reduces luisas character down to be only her trauma🧍♀️
#encanto#encanto disney#disneys encanto#luisa madrigal#I really wish people would explore the more interesting parts of her character#but every post is the same#you’re more than just your gift ig not mirabel#there’s a lot of really interesting potential with luisa’s character if you look beyond the strength and deeper into her mindset#like there’s so much to say about isa and mirabel and people do delve very deeply into them (myself included)#but luisa is only talked about as in she’s strong or she overworks it’s she’s so much nicer to mirabel than isa#but like hot take luisa wasn’t the best sister ever none of them were#all of the madrigal sisters were bad sisters to eachother imo#post movie could explore that but I never see ittt#like all I see is she’s strong and overworks and addicted to caffeine#yk who else is? retail workers!! they also have a personality outside of hating their jobs#stop reducing luisa down to be the average retail worker shes way more complex than that#twitter is somehow the only platform I see people be like what if she was more than this#this one’s been in the drafts for a while
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I wonder if Fyodor has kept his distance from Atsushi until now because Byakko's claws can cut through skills. I wonder if this is the moment Atsushi could use his claws. Would they slice right through Fyodor's borrowed body to tear him into the same ribbons as Shibusawa?
Is Fyodor afraid of the absolution Atsushi could give him? Or is he starving for it? Is this what he wanted all along? To find Atsushi at the end, to break him until Byakko tears through Atsushi's flesh and into his?
Nothing is hollow; Fyodor is just so hungry for scraps he can't bear to eat that he calls the viscera contracting around his aching gut nothingness, and garnishes his desires with incorrigible sin because then death might taste like salvation. He craves blood but hates when it touches him, because blood and viscera are too warm, too human; and he isn't that, even though he loves humanity so desperately that he's resolved to leave only when he can take the entire world with him.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd fyodor#bsd atsushi#everyone's like “what if fyodor wants to die!”#and like no! if he did he could! he doesnt! he doesnt want to die but he cant live with himself either.#and he so desperately wants the world to reflect an inkling of him#having become so isolated and dehumanized in his own mind#ranpo thought people might be monsters but fyodor thinks he's the monster#and it hurts to be rejected by the world and to see it from the underground but never feel worthy of walking underneath its sun#so he's nurtured his hurt into hate and killed himself over and over again trying to know without admitting he wants to be known#briefly glimpses of people like him excite him but he has to believe they arent any different either#because he cant stay. and he cant leave by himself. if the world wouldnt have him alive#then he'll have the world dead#like two skeletons entangled in a lovers embrace he will take the humanity he thinks he was denied and girdle it like wisteria#until they suffocate together#and if he calls that salvation. maybe it will feel that way#even if only for a moment#he will be killed by the gift most embodying life because although he perceives life as an act of violence against him#he wants its embrace so badly#that he'll take the facsimile of it#so long as he and his lover die together before the bitter reality of what he's done can settle on his tongue#fun fact btw. that is suicidality. it's not wanting to die. it's not knowing how to live as you are. and it's impulse.#anyway! life and death and life and death and silly fyodor#jinko is mikan and his hungry hungry boyfriend is coming to bask in the euphoria of being alive
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There's only one person I truly hate with all my being
#and its some random bitch from the internet#fuck you jackal#talking about how I started hating him would require TRIGGER WARNINGS.#he almost made me fail my freshman ELA class because I had to spend all hour comforting my friends who he hurt#then all was forgiven because “he's a kid! he can change!” i never forgave him and he never truly changed#he tried to tell lies about me to my friends#and. for context. this was on discord#it was a community where I was one of the 3 pillars of it. and I'm close with the other 2.#me C and H were the people people wanted to be friends with. or wanted to *be*. we were the top 3 of everyone! and im not being conceded.#twas a small community#I was known for being skilled! but also. people thought I was kind. (some people thought I was bossy because I was kinda strict)#< (strict being I don't tolerate bullying or slurs at any capacity.#but so. when Jackal lied to H. H knew it was bullshit.#anyways Jackal stuck around somehow even tho everyone KNEW. The Jackal Situation was an ARC in that server.#anyways C made Jackal a mod over a year later bc la-de-da-de-da people can change~ and he wasn't a dick. for about 5 minutes.#he got fired today and i was fucking ECSTATIC#I hate him#he thinks hes hot shit. he's hot garbage is what he is#he's so tone deaf and abused power constantly#i never stepped in because I have such a strong hatred that i can never be fair to him again#im permanently against him. he'll never ever gain any respect from me.#he lied. he baited us. he made my friends spend so many sleepless nights crying. he tried to make them die by saying theyd go together.#i saw through it.#anyways I like to believe I have a good judge of character bc he always made me uneasy#he gifted me nitro and was polite before baiting us. but i was like. ehhhh. what's wrong w him?#anyways he's a pissed off bastard now#anyways heres some previous life drama hooray
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I am not going to defend myself, Your Majesty. Whatever I say, your decision will not change anyway. I could calm you by denying it, but I don't intend to do it. Throw me into the fire like you did with your family and other people you loved. [...] So this is [absolute loyalty] why you killed them all? Hatice, Ibrahim, Mustafa, Çihangir...I remember how our father Selim Han died. He didn't die easily. God did not let him leave this world without suffering first. The same fate awaits you!
Fatma + roasting Suleiman to his face (and to others)
Happy (belated) Birthday Plami! @mc-critical
#mcedit#muhteşem yüzyıl#magnificent century#fatma sultan#perioddramaedit#weloveperioddrama#perioddramasource#muhtesem yuzyil#yay the series continues#I had to give you a tumblr gift as well love <3#I love how in the last meeting she just goes for it all and does not mince her words anymore#it was bubbling for a long time#now she had nothing to lose she did not give a f*uck whatever he does#contrast with how despite hating him already she hushed nisa that dynasty cannot be talked about like that#since she knows nisa should not have any more problems to the multitude she does already :((and even sumbul was spying on them)#but quietly adds Suly ass will pay#how people were forbidden to (openly) criticize the padisah and keep quiet#and then fatma saying she won't be silent after his order to do so in their last convo..#amazing#such underrated character#*mine#and the clown telling her he never killed an innocent person#like what could a 6 year old ever do 🤡
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Ok, here's my recap of seeing Esteban over the Singapore GP! I've been attending every Singapore GP since 2017 and have supported Esteban each year. For me the highlight from this year was finding out that not only does he recognise my face, he also knows my name. 🥹
The video above is a compilation from two days: Thursday and Saturday. Full story below the cut. 👇
PRE-RACE WEEKEND / ESTEBAN'S BIRTHDAY
I've been travelling since late July and my flight back to Singapore from Vancouver was actually on Esteban's birthday. I had already committed to editing a video to celebrate his achievements at Alpine. Some of you (bless y'all, seriously) answered my open call for art/video/message submissions and I spent the afternoon before my flight putting it together. I'm happy I got it done and I was even happier when Esteban commented thanking us for it just before I got on my plane. You can watch the video on Instagram here.
THURSDAY
A.K.A. The day after I arrived back in Singapore after 2 months on the road and a 16-hour time difference. I have no idea how I wasn't severely jetlagged lol.
I got to the paddock entrance after 1pm, early enough to still get a spot in front of the barrier, but gosh there were so many people this year. Either F1 has really exploded in popularity (especially with the younger generation) or we just have more fans from overseas coming to Singapore for the race (why tho, it's so hot y'all). Luckily I had a friend with me and he was kind enough to help me take videos when Esteban arrived.
My friend hadn't hit record yet so the video missed Esteban saying "good to see you again, how are you doing?", and you can scroll back up for the rest. ☺️ He thanked me after I asked if he'd seen the birthday video and then there was an awkward moment when I didn't know if we were doing a fist bump or a handshake but man's a gentleman and didn't make me feel weird about it. 🫠
I don't know why after seeing him so many times I still get nervous but I was, and I struggled to take the cap off my marker so he could sign my cap. He very kindly took it from me to open it himself but my marker betrayed me and wasn't working properly (now that I think about it, it also happened the very first time I asked him to sign my hat back in 2017 🤡). Thankfully the girl next to me offered her red marker which actually worked (though Este stabbed the life out of it first to be sure). 🙏
I initially wanted to hang around in the evening with some friends who were coming after the pitlane walk. But at 7pm it was already super crowded and I don't even know why (all the drivers, TPs and media are already in the paddock at this point and won't come out till late that night). So yeah, I just went home to not tire myself out before the race weekend actually started.
FRIDAY
I've accumulated quite a bit of merch since last year so I was bringing a different one on each day for him to sign haha. In the selfie I'm wearing a shirt he signed the day before.
I normally try not to take up too much of his time because he always does his best to make sure all the fans get something from him. I only had one shirt for him to sign but after he did, he continued standing in front of me so I just took out my phone for this picture and then he went on his way. Este is bestie fr. 😭🫶
I didn't hang around outside the paddock again on Friday night because I went to watch OneRepublic. ✨
SATURDAY
The best day for me because this was when I managed to get most of my selfies (including with Mick, who I missed on Thursday because he came with Esteban and obv I have priorities) and also because Esteban managed to drag the car out of Q1. 👏
It was also a good day because I asked Esteban if he could write my name on the cap and as I was trying to spell it out for him, he cut me off because he knew, he just didn't see it was me at first because some guy had draped a huge flag over my friend and me for him to sign. 😭🫶
We tried to wait outside the paddock after qualifying but they started chasing us out at 12am and since they had armed police out in full view, we decided to not fk around and find out. (At previous SGPs they'd stay in the van so we never actually saw them.) Also didn't help that Esteban chose that moment to leave so people started mobbing him and even though he tried to stop at first, security physically pushed him to the exit. 🥲 (which was probably for the best tbh)
SUNDAY
I actually gave Este the wrong hat to write my name on (I wanted him to write it on the cap from his store, not the Alpine one) so I had to ask him again and he kindly obliged.
That night I was lucky to catch him just before he left the circuit, there were some fans running alongside him because he wasn't stopping but he stopped when he saw me. 😭🫶 I got a quick hug and he said see you next year so I guess the greedy mfs at SGP are going to continue getting my money smh.
BONUS ESTE'S BESTIES
Here's a picture of stuff I got signed by Este, as well as some gifts I got from other Esteban fans! And also, a picture of me and Fiq who I met for the first time on race day.
#esteban ocon#eo31#f1#singapore gp#rach at f1#in general i have to say the crowds are not it this year#like they just run all over the place and mob whoever they can get#and honestly it pisses me off because the online discourse this season has been very anti-este#but suddenly at the track people were paying more attention to him because he was one of the few drivers giving them the time of day#BUT ANYWAY#POSITIVES#can I just say I really appreciate the way he took my gift for him#with both hands???#very demure very mindful#giving asian children raised to accept angpows with both hands because it's polite#and also his sincerity whenever he says thank you pls#idk how anyone can hate him#and crazy fans aside#I love the small community I'm finding at SGP#wasn't expecting to receive gifts from other fans incl a Lewis fan I last saw in 2018?? who gave me a Lewis fan (haha)
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Hey, what you think about that Cosmo and Wanda call Timmy "precious gift" like in special "abracatastrophe" when he have 8 old by his parents?
I don't think that Cosmo and Wanda should imitate anything that Timmy's parents did, tbh.
#fairly oddparents#ask#anonymous#i hate when people call their children ''gifts'' idk just something about it rubs me the wrong way#maybe on account of petscop..... huh#gifts are objects that are pretty on the outside and you don't know what's inside of them#something about calling a kid a ''gift'' is like... well. when are you going to open it?#when are you going to accept that your child is a person with depth and not just a shinny trinket to wave around?#especially since timmy's parents filmed and photographed him CONSTANTLY as a small child it's like??#okay so you like LOOKING at a kid but do you people know the first thing about him?
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aventurine who wants to see you in things he's bought you and things of his but also gets flighty when you do so because it feels like a claim and that's almost too much for him
#bee chats#he's possessive in the weirdest way#convinced he doesn't need you and so why would it matter#but also hates it when you wear things other people gave you#and thinks you should be wearing something HE gave you instead#so he gets you all sorts of things to replace that gift from someone else#all while refusing to admit that it might mean something#after all he's a generous man#you're not the only person he gives gifts by any means—it's a good way to ingratiate yourself#so it doesn't mean anything in the long run#he's convinced
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Voltron cats……….drawn on magma
#voltron#shiro#hunk#Lance#pidge#Keith#I’m not putting every tag of them#voltron paladins#sockdooe’s art#I thought about them being cats for an hour and then tried to draw them#help#I think they would be so cute#allura is their caretaker aka owner#she just has all these cats#pidge is the favorite meaning she gets groomed the most by the other cats#so when allura picks her up she’s MOIST#she also gets the most baths out of everyone else despite hating them just because of how much she stinks from a their breaths#Lance will just play in the bathtub until allura gives him one#hunk is the sweetest and the best when it comes to cuteness agression#he is often used as a cry pillow#lance is too dam social for his own good#he loves people so much he almost got stolen#(by rolo and nyma but hunk distrusted them so much that he literally ran after them)#Shiro is the most respected and given the most cat gifts#Keith doesn’t like people at all and will hide in the cat tree#Keith and Lance have cat fights like all the time#Shiro doesn’t have his right arm(?) but he still uses it to ‘smack’ and it still works#(if you’ve seen the video I’m talking about you know exactly)#idk just silly little cats#oh and hunk is really distrustful of people to the point where there is a ‘hunk sniff test’ and if he hisses u will not be staying
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why are 99% of crochet animal patterns just vague blobs. cmon. i know we can do better as a community. have you seen the shit the national parks service put out? yeah, the NPS. there are grandmas on the frontlines of the most formally accurate critters this side of a 3D printer. we can do better than orb with two triangles sewn on. we can make a more accurate cat. that is NOT what a turtle looks like. step AWAY from the axolotl
#EVERYTHINGS TOO CHIBI CMON. WE CAN HAVE VARIETY. WE CAN HAVE A LITTLE BIT OF CHALLENGE#i’m not saying everything has to be photorealistic. but it feels love every new pattern i see is the same basic shapes recycled#because people are so desperate to have ~content~ that they don’t have time to technically develop their skills to a point where they#actually have something to contribute to the conversation artistically#text✨#this is extremely petty. however : come ON. so much of the crochet content i see is extremely beginner basic stuff newbies are being tricked#into mass producing for ‘markets’ where they are very unlikely to sell#and then they burn out of the hobby within a few weeks. this is NOT sustainable. and extremely wasteful of time and resources#i hate you should sell culture it’s. extremely annoying#i try to only do stuff that is either a) at least nominally useful or b) a gift for someone . bc i so desperately do not want to burn out#on this hobby and i love it sm . i feel so bad for all the people i see getting conned by the you gotta sell attitude and just. ruining the#hobby for themselves. you gotta do it for you you gotta#on topic. also like cmon. stop chibifying animals that are culturally significant to other communities just for money
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I love my cat’s little purring chirp, he wants to make those high pitched short chirps but he wants to purr so it becomes a soft little rumbling loud purr with random burst of shrill chirping. Occasionally you'll see his little chunky self take a deep breath and get bigger like a puffer fish. It's because he is using every ounce of power in his fuzzy cat body to scream for as long as he can
Then if you come close he head buts you and bites your cheek then head buts again. All the while purring and chirping into between head butting and biting. He tries to bite softly but he gets excited. Bumping his head first tends to confuse him enough that he doesn't bite but purrs happy to have your forehead booping his
#fey’s rambles#i cherish my fur babies so much what a gift they are#His bites are well-meaning and he tries to be gentle so I can't get mad#I don't have to worry about him doing it to other since most people don't know how to introduce themselves to him#he is the kind you need to let see you#Crouch down hold out both hands flat for him to stiff and slowly maybe go up to him#first it helps to let him exist in the space with you#he hates it when people try to help themselves to picking him up or petting him#some people don't get it when I say ask permission#like people really be out here thinking they can touch any living thing just cause it's cute#like no my cat doesn't wanna be touched he doesn't wanna be#show him respect for his space and he will love you for it
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#i could try to write a cohesive caption but im tired and sad so messy notes in the tags it is#spn#liveblog tag#12.22#it shouldnt have felt like such a weight off to hear dean recount how much pain sam's experienced like this but it was#saying ''he lost his soul'' like it was indeed something awful that happened To him as opposed to a ''mistake'' he made#< which is how he's brought it up to sam himself in past seasons#funny that it seems he's only able to acknowledge sam's suffering when sam isn't present. moreover - only when dean's suffering is#centered as well. inextricable from sam's bc of their shared upbringing#and only when there is a more culpable figure to bear the brunt of dean's feelings (often john and now for the first time mary)#she was dragged back to earth as a gift For You. she doesn't fit and the family she knew is gone and you have an idea of her in your head#that she will never be able to mirror in real life bc that mary never existed#and she's been tortured and brainwashed into killing people she knows and she's trapped in her own mind trying to seek solace in#a happy memory - a vestige of heaven which is a vestige of life#and she has no choice but to listen as you rip into her heart for choices that she already hates herself for#sam/mary parallels holding strong but as always sam got the short end of the stick#anyway. ow :)#tag vomit
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