#a friend shouldnt need to be a secret

[dissociative-degenerate]

He stresses me out. I feel like I'm going to puke. Who the fuck is he talking to, he doesn't tell me shit. Lord knows I never see his phone.

[rebellum]

Like obvs don't accept any abuse or meanness from them but like. If someone is doing attention seeking behaviour. Give them attention.

[cultural-marxism-official]

Its extremely bizarre how veilguard utterly ignores dalish elves, when the whole game is about their GODS coming back. E&G shouldnt even need to corrupt people, they would absolutely have countless dalish and elven slaves flocking to them if soley for the purpose of fucking up human shit.

You have innumerable tevinter slaves who wouldnt need any convincing to join them just to see the world burn after being abused all their life and seeing countless friends and family die at tevinter hands. How fucking morally interesting and heartwrenching would it be to have to fight freed slaves who willingly joined the gods because all this shit, lets burn this shit world down and all the shem with it.

You have so many dalish who have been waiting, PRAYING a day like this would come, a day their gods came to them and said now its time to take thedas back, to take their rightful place once more. To handwave it off as "oh the gods dont sctually care abt elves" is stupid and makes no sense. Theyre tryinf to amass a force to kill everyone, what do you mean they wouldnt cate about the tens of thousands of willing fighters they wouldnt even need to corrupt, in all corners of thedas. They'd use them just as any other tool or weapon at their disposal.

Also i can barely count the veil jumpers as dalish. Theyre not a single clan, they have no keepers, they dont act like dalish and neither does bellara. Ive never heard her mention her clan, her traditions beyond the veil jumpers. And to have the veil jumpers trust non elven, non dalish outsiders with their operations, their peoples deepest most sacret artifacts and secrets is BONKERS

Like dont get me started on how there is just no spirituality AT ALL in this game. The game about GODS. Nobody cares that the elven gods are REAL and the maker isnt. Theres a single scene about it and hardly any of your companions give a shit, because the writers forgot that most people of thedas are religious, andrastian specifically. Everyones just kinda agnostic or atheist now i fucking guess. Its not ljke there have been multiple crusades because of religion in thedas.

Whatever

[ejundo]

Do u think maby you could do an outgoing reader and a quiet introverted guy who's a huge secret perv there friends and reader finds out his 'shy' friend isn't so shy~♡ (top m charecter, bott m reader) - (love Ur writing!)

outgoing bttm m reader x top shy giant charac

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NOT PROOFREAD(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ [ characters are obviously 18+ ]

a.n : hai!! apologies for not answering to everyones request.. finals r kicking my ass… but i thought this would be a good drabble (saw the request while witth my friends.. almost screamed.) and THANK YEWE for the compliment my dear! ALSO THANKS FOR 500 (almost 600) FOLLOWERS?? ILY ALL!! <3

laughter filled the room , and that laughter was coming from you, arms wrapped around the victim. his gaze averted but small laughs left his lips ‘it wasnt— that funny..’ he mumbled as he watched your beautiful eyes. the shadows contouring your face perfectly as the sun set, casting a glow to your features . fuck

‘oh come on!!! it was pretty funny… you cant even lie t’me” pulling away, you looked back at your packed lunch. ‘ooh!! we should hang out today— or have a sleepover! theres no school tmrw remember?’ suggesting while grinning , your hands wrapped around the metal container. ‘mmm… maybe i mean ill have too see..’ he was appalled, he was so excited he was gonna strangle the next person he saw… not you though. pulling out his phone to seem busy you looked away from him as you ate the last remaining pieces of food.

‘shouldnt be busy today. your house?’

‘duhhh!!! and yay! we could play video games and watch that one movie that came out—‘

‘mhmm, im down. ‘

—

the sound of the door bell ringing quickly caught your attention, racing to the door you dropped all blankets needed for the sleepover.

the door swung open the cold air entering the home making you shiver though sigh in relief as it freed the warm hot air. ‘haiii! glad ya got here safe, ooh-! i made us some snacks, and then some store bought food on the table in my living room— you can. settle down your stuff up in my bedroom’ you explained quickly as you practically rushed to be by the others side. his hands fiddled with eachother while your warmth embraced him , arm wrapping around his bicep.

"hope you didn't have too much trouble coming here- you can settle down on the couch while i get my blanket from upstairs! then we can watch that movie and uhh! sleep? or play games!!" you suggested moving away from him, he watched your every move, the way you carried yourself up the stiars settling himself on your couch. the house was cozy, it was cold aswell.. just how you liked it.

it even smelled like you, the scent invaded his nostrils calming him, his head was thrown back as he relaxed in ur smell. eyes closed, though the shuffling of your feet and blankets dragging against the floor caught his attention as he awoke and stared at you "need help?" he asked, shaking your head you threw the blankets onto the couch- well onto him..

throwing yourself onto the couch you snuggled the cold blankets ontop of him. he looked at you with a raised eyebrow, "what movie were you talking about?" "you'll see! i think it may be a horror movie- its rated r" "so you don't know for sure what it would be?" shaking your head you got off him and grabbed the remote. he took that time to sit up and lay the blanket out.

your hands grazed the remote before heading over to the streaming site, scrolling through to find the movie. once found, pressed the button and rushed onto the couch jumping onto the other, yelping in surprise he only held you. "cuddle?" he asked softly, you nodded your head frantically. I mean.. it was normal to cuddle your homies right? thought so.

.

his heavy breathing and your calm breaths. eyes tuck to the screen, but it seemed as if your were the only one paying attention.

your warm body held by the arms of the boy infront of you. he gulped softly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, oblivious as to what you were doing. your body pressed up against him, and his growing hard on.

you had noticed- but it was normal for people to get hard.. but fuck he just couldn't contain himself. the way your bodies collided, how you unintentionally rubbed his cock with your inner thigh. his hips bucked into your thigh before he let out a long sigh.

"fuck, im gonna go to the bathroom.." you looked at him and tilted your head "oh alright ill pause the movie." getting up your sat up and leaned over grabbing the remote before completely getting off him. the view presented infront of you surprising you, his flushed cheeks and his hard dick pressing against his sweats. blinking rapidly you stared at the obvious hard on. . noticing your gaze, his member twitched. "stop . . don't look" he mumbled embarrassed.

but he only lied. he wanted you to look, he didn't try covering it up. thats when you came to conclusion. "ah!- . . you- did i ? do that to you.." it throbbed.

"shit . . ." he mumbled throwing his head back. " look i don't mind . . i just didn't think-" you flushed at the thought he even- got hard because of you. "i actually.. i invited you here just. for you know.."

his eyes widened, feeling embarrassed you covered your face thinking he was gonna call you weird... but when you looked at him, a smirk was placed on his lips.

he reached out grabbing your wrist as he pulled you ontop, legs straddling his sides. " y'dont know how long ive been wanting to fuck you..." your heart pounded in your chest. "are you-" interrupted as he pulled you into a kiss, his rough lips pressed against your soft ones. a moan leaving his lips as his tongue grazed your bottom lip.

allowing entrance, both tongues dancing in a rhythm. relaxing in his grasp, he pulled away looking at your now disheveled look. the way your pajamas fell loosely down your shoulder, your throbbing cock pushing against your pants. "matching boners.. cute. except mines bigger." he mumbled he reached down grabbing your dick and pressing it against his own. comparing the two.

he wasn't wrong.. yours was smaller compared to his girthy one. "ive been waiting for this y.n.." the way your name sounded rolling off his tongue was sweet like honey, his large hand trailed to slip your pants down revealing your throbbing member following behind he whipped it out practically jumpscaring you. the wet tip looking at you .

"c mon baby." he mumbled eyes low as he watched your eyes, oh how hungry you looked. " dont be shy darlin" he mumbled his hands trailing up your body, hands resting at your hips rubbing gentle circles. your breathing heaved as you trailed down , face met with his girth. licking your lips, your tongue licked his tip as if it was your last meal, getting comfortable your lips wrapped around his cock. sucking on the tip , leaking precum onto your soft tongue he audibly groaned moans spilling out from him. "fuck why are you so good at this shit..." he grumbled, a large hand gripping onto the back of your head slightly edging you to go on further. and further you went, reaching the back of your throat you took it.

moaning at the sight he grinned messily biting his lip. "atta boy.." he hummed.

with one hand, you wrapped it around with whatever you couldn't take stroking it gently while your free hand prepped your hole, moaning into his dick, he pressed his lips together with hazy eyes he pulled your head away. "mngh.." you moaned , staring into his eyes as you fingered yourself open. he grabbed your hips pulling you closer , you laid your head against his chest, whining as he pulled your hand away. "i wanna fuck your tiny hole.." he hummed into your ear, feeling the tip of his girthy cock align with your slick he pushed up. causing you to twitch you gripped onto his shirt sinking down onto his length.

"fnh! hmmnhahnh" smiling at your dazed face held your hips, fucking into you gently as he watched your head nuzzle his chest. "lemme see your face." though your eyes only looked up at him , feeling his dick throb inside of you.

by then he was fully in, your tight warm walls huggin his yummy large cock. his eyes staring at you lovingly, hungry. hands gripped onto your hips, he used you as if you were a fleshlight. moans spilling out drool leaking from your lips as your eyes stared up at him. "your- funhck.. beautiful."

"gonnhacuhm.." you moaned into his chest, your juice leaking onto his shirt, staining it as you twitched reaching your climax, not far behind he held you down as he came inside of you.

the both of you moaning in pure bliss.. head thrown back you held onto him.

"ill fuck you better next time.." he mumbled, pulling out of you as his warm cum leaked out of you.

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a/n : i finished a request yayyayayayy!!! another one cummin soon sooo be prepared guys!! (,,>ヮ<,,)!

[livinahey]

aaaaaastrobs-essions (jk) .・゜゜・

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i'm back :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・。.・゜✭・»»————>

if you struggling with low self esteem go to fire sun/earth mars/venus in angles (1h/4h/7h/10). They will cheer you up and remind you that you deserve fine things in life 💅✨🧚‍♀️ just dont fake your insecurities to them or theyll disgusted by you

speak of self esteem, someone that have their asteroid medusa (149) in your 2nd are the one that silently judge and mock you. the one that try to attack your self esteem. the one that underestimate you; and will start to think "whats cool about them?" if you get great achievement in life. EVEN think that you dont deserve that and it should be them because they think theyre way much better than you 😹😹 what a bitch. beware of them try to steal your great things as a result ‼️😒👹💥💥

asteroid nemesis (128) in house shows ab whats hurt you then you develop animosity/hatred to it, check the theme of the house

1h - hatred towards self identity, hatred towards how people see you, you can hate your looks :(

2h - hatred towards possessions. You may lacks of material possessions, feel less than others in that area and you hate it

3h - hatred towards sibling, neighbor

4h - hatred towards family

5h - hatred towards "spotlight", flings, drama, childlike spirit

6h - hatred towards coworker, health (you may feel youre less healthy than others)

7h - hatred towards partner (✋💀💀), partnership itself. you likely wanna do everything alone

8h - hatred towards mystery. you hate it when someone hides something from you, not clear ab something, keeping something from you, being secretive

9h - hatred towards um.... tw religions. sorry you probably hate particular beliefs. hatred towards travelling, inlaws are also possible

10h - hatred towards public image, fame. you can hate public figures, famous person 😹😹 (im laughing because yeah we all know public figure often are not what they show on the media aka theyre fake)

11h - hatred towards friend, hatred towards what you see on internet. can be indicator of someone that dont like to use social media, or you give hate speech/comments on social media

12h - hatred towards whats "out of reach"

cardinal moons are pure souls that surrounded by "darkness". they can easily influenced by negativity from their surrounding so they MUST, i say MUST to keep good ppl around them or....bye (aka they can turn themselves into the evil)

what's with sag venus and having interest in things that they shouldnt be interested to

taurus women have this fiery strong badass facade to them, while the men looks like cute puppy (and wise???) lmao (for sun moon mars)

mutable mercury in first decan (0°-9°) why are you like to lie for no reason. are prone to say what they dont really mean. go seek better hobbies!

some of leo sun men are gay but they hide it by having love relationship with women... that's very weird (and irritating) of you

undeveloped earth venus only falls for/want to dating popular goodlooking mf even if in personality wise theyre not that best and it can leads to unfulfilling relationship 💁‍♀️

talk ab earth venus, i see them always fall for fixed sign venus (no im not referring them fixed venus as bad one that i mentioned above)

developed earth venus? they dont need to be with someone to increase their status, they simply being the (true) great person they are 🤩 (they know how to and do get the good life by themselves!!)

what i like ab fire moon is theyre so passionate but sometimes it can be too passionate where it leads to them making unnecessary drama 😭😭

water suns are prone to being delusional 😹😹

air venus stop giving mixed signals

i cant help but think ab where sagittarius in your chart shows what's "wild", "crazy" about you. thats why pluto in sag generations being seen as scary bcs the power (pluto rules ab power) they have.... 😹😹

moon-neptune aspects 🤝 say something then regret it

libra big 6 placements 🤝 attract petty ppl (and then get attacked, being seen as bad one when they just want to defend/protect themselves :()

undeveloped fixed moon 🤝 being petty

pluto in earth house (2h/6h/10h) are the brat but loved lmao

aqua mars 🤝 makes ppl amazed

air sign jupiter give the vibes of unstoppable teenagers (in a good way). see blackpink lisa (aqua jupiter), nct jaemin (gemini jupiter), newjeans hanni (libra jupiter), or another air sign jupiter you know! 😉

saturn-sun aspect are prone to experience unexpected loss :(

there's nothing more i hate in synastry than squaring to venus aspect... bc i feel unwanted there 🧍‍♀️🪓

[wildglitch]

Can i just share my weird Captain Marvel x Hazbin Hotel au? Pls? Yes? Ok thank you-

Im a fucking weirdo. Im a total and complet fucking weirdo. Cause tell me why I fully belive that the sweet summer child known as Billy Bean Batson would 100% befriend the canabalistic Alastor whike he was alive, and continue to be his friend after he found out he was a serial killer.

(Ok so, This idea is fully just based of the fact that they are both there in the early 1900 and both where radio host's. This is how I see it.)

With some (timeline fuckery) Billy and Alastor where both radio hosts around the same time. Since Billy was a child that (pretty sure canonically) spared him from Al. They would both collab and work together since they are both in the east cost area, and would grow to become good friends. Alastor liking the weird child star that didnt shy away from him, and Billy who lives in Fawcett and has no sense of sane human.

Billy would eventually find out he was a killer and try to stop him. Its a slow burn murder mystery that ends with Billy exposing Al on air and Al finding out hes Marvel. Stuff happens, big of Villian fight, Al gets away, and a few years later he dies.

Once dead, They kinda reunite since Al's such a big deal in hell. They (for some reason) reconcile saying it was pretty fun trying to keep the secrets from eachother and move on, meeting up every once in a while.

Flash forwards, its the new millenia and the JL need help defeating a Villain. Constantine suggests a really sketchy and dangerous demon that wont be easy to convince into doing something good. The League agree.

JC: *summons demon*

JL: *Ready to convince a tough demon for help*

Al: Good evening! I'm you're host the radio demon. What fo I have the plesure of doing today folks?

Batman: Radio Demon. We need your help savin-

CM: Al?

JL:

Al: Hm? OH Billy! Why its so wonderful to see you again. Gosh, how long has it been? 1? Maybe 2?

CM: 2 Decades.

Al: Boy how time flys. What can I do for you old friend *Walks out of pentagram*

JC: Im sorry you shouldnt be able to do that-

CM: We need some help saving a city. I'll give you an interview if you do

Al: Well, celebrity guest do bring in the ratings. Lead the way while I tell you what I've been up to down there

*walks out chating like the bestist of friends*

JL:...

Superman: what just happend-

Flash: WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME CAP WAS BUDDY BUDDY WITH A DEMON!?

[badgyalshii]

WANNA TRY IT WITH ME?

word count: 3.1k?

warnings! smut, maybe some typos, oral (f) and missionary, overstimulation, some dirty talk.

pairing! only fans!timothee chalamet x (f) friend!reader (ALWAYS SAFE FOR POC + PLUS SIZE)

a/n: hereee goes my long awaited apology for the finale of its never over🙄 i hope you guys enjoy! two hands on the phone please😏 the “xxx” is a divider btw i just got lazy lmao TELL ME IF IT SERVES CUNTTTT (requests are open)

have you read the series? check it out!

like shii’s writing!? check out her masterlist for her future imagines/series! (that needs to be updated, come on shii wtf r u doing😒)

It was no secret that timothee owned a onlyfans, he didnt really talk about it though. He didnt want it to be the main conversation between him and his friends, he kept the subjects separated but he was very close with his fans. You said you would always support what he does and even registered for an account to follow him, he tried to fight it and block you from his page, but you said it wasnt really that big of a deal considering you would never open the app and just to let you love him, to which he sighed and let it go, but convsersations were awkward because in the back of his mind he didnt know and was wondering you ever watched his videos. It was only a side gig, but he wanted to focus on college and small acting.

One day, you decided to initiate the conversation with timmy while you both ate chinese. ¨i just felt like if i talked to you about it then it would be hard for you to separate me from being a normal sensitive person from being ya know….that¨ he explained, you shrugged. ¨i mean, i wouldnt look at you differently- not that ive watched but i know you, and how could i judge such a sweet person like you? The only thing that i would have questions about is, like, is it awkward? On camera? Im not even comfortable with myself so put myself on camera and do that-¨ ¨if you dont like yourself, trust their is someone to appreciates you like ten times more than you do on a good day. Theres no reason for you to feel like that¨ he said looking over before eating the rice with a fork. You let out a hum and things fell silent as you both watched a movie, but it was clear you both were thinking. ¨would- would you like…¨ he looked over at you, your eyebrows lifted as you looked at him, he seemed nervous as his cheeks were slowly turning rosy, he cleared his throat before finishing his question. ¨like try it?¨ he asked, ¨erm¨ you said before thinking to yourself, ¨maybe with someone i trust, could be fun¨ you smiled before asking for the rice, taking a forkfull bite off of the same utensil that timmy used. He shrugged, becoming more comfortable, seeing as you were rather chill about the situation, it was a joke to him, what he was about to say, but the tone that came out otherwise said different.

¨wanna try it with me?¨ your eyes widened in surprise, to which he laughed, ¨joking, im joking¨ he let out with a nervous chuckle leaving his lips, his face was visibly warm now, a big grin on his face trying to fight off the fact that he said that. You chewed and swallowed your rice carefully, not saying a word and looking at him while he looked at you, itching and waiting for your response. You shrugged, ¨fuck it¨ your stomach was doing flips, what were you saying? Are you fucking serious? You thought after you said that, your eyebrows high and a side smile on your lips. His mouth parted, ¨when-when would you wanna do it?¨ he asked, ¨its your page, shouldnt you make the rules?¨ you muttered, setting down the rice. ¨tommorow maybe?¨ he let out, watching you get up, you said yeah and said you had to use the bathroom.

When you made it to the bathroom you looked at yourself in the mirror before letting out a sigh and putting a hand on your face is disbelief, what had you singed yourself up for? Why were you just talking? Were you just talking? It was clear that you both were very attractive, so imagine what people think. Your shared friends already think you guys have something casual going on, so would they really be surprised if you both busted out with a cake saying ¨we did it! We fucked! (and recorded)¨? You bit your lip before running the water and washing your hands, before exiting out of the bathroom and sitting next to timothee again.

XXX

You both shyd away about the idea even if it was just the next day, but here we are. You sat ontop of timothees bed, fully clothed and your hair out of the way. You bit your lip, you were anxious, you didnt know how to feel about this, how would others take it? What if they didnt like you? What if you didnt like it. Timothee sat infront of you the entire time, telling you that it was okay if you didnt want to do it and reassuring you the entire time and double checking in with you. As nervous as you were, there was a small burst of excitement that jumped in your stomach.

He bit his lip, ¨you ready?¨ he asked, holding up the camera, about to record you. On the nightstand sat a white viberator, body oil, and lube just incase. He raised three fingers behind the camera, initiating a count down, he very soon pressed the record button, you saw the red small light from the camera flicker. A smile played on your lips from awkwardness but you tried your best to cover it up. ¨this is y/n. One of my closest friends who wanted to join us today¨ he chuckled, ëyes on the screen as he looked through the camera to see you. ¨but ill let her introduce herself¨ he finished, your eyes widened, you didnt know what to do. ¨im nervous¨ you let out with a pity smile and you both let out a laugh, ¨just get undressed while you introduce yourself¨ he let out a small grunt as he watched you immediately catch on and start pulling up your top.he bit his lip, he couldnt deny you looked fucking great, the way your breasts were laid pretty in that bra and how your hips sat with the hidden treasures just waiting to be touched. You watched as he slowly palmed himself and continued to record. You decided this was the right time to speak up.

¨my name is y/n, but timothee told you that¨ you laughed as you stripped your shirt off, muffled music played in the back but you both werent too focused on that, you wore a matching set for the circumstance, and when your bra was revealed he let out a muttered fuck and applied more pressure to his clothed cock. T̈his is my first time¨ you continued, looking over at the oil before reaching over, your ass in the air as you reached for it he let out a sigh, and watched as your back arched and when you came back at sat correctly, he lended his hand out, ¨i wanna do that¨ he said, and you complied, handing him the oil, he let out a small groan, he was as hard as a rock and youve barely even started, he had no shirt on but he had his grey sweatpants, he took the camera and set it up on its stand on the end of the bed.

When he looked back at you, you sat there innocently, you sat on the back of your calves, legs closed and looking up at him so lost, it turned him on that he could take control and lead you. He softly grabbed your neck and pulled you in for a slowly soft to passionate open mouth kiss, pulling your head towards himself before letting you go and moving behind you, his warm touch on your arms, following all the way up to your neck and you tilted your head back on his shoulder as he now kissed your neck and uncuffed your bra. ¨shittttt¨ he muttered, looking at your tits and taking them into his hands, to which they fit perfectly, your nipple between his first and middle finger, rolling them around as soft sighs of pleasure left your lips, he looked at you the entire time before applying a kiss to your cheek, then your lips. You closed your eyes and let him lead you, you felt like you were falling in his arms and allowed him to take you anywhere, you swore this is what you needed, you almost forgot the camera was even there. He put his hand on your waist before he reached for the oil and while he did that, you stripped yourself from your shorts, revealing your matching thong before getting back into pisition and you looked at the camera, thinking you should be more seductive, you looked at it and let out a moan as the warm oil hit your body, he rubbed it over your chest, your stomach, his touch was gentle the entire time, ¨can you bend over infront of the camera for me?¨ he asked gently, you looked at him and nodded, your ass was pointed to the camera and he moved behind you and to the side, his eyebrows raised as you arched as your already glistening cunt was soaking the thin material of the thong, he applied oil over your ass and rubbed it in before his hands crawled up to the sides of your thong, ¨is it okay if i pull this down?¨ he asked, you nodded and he looked at you before dropping your panties, he let out a sigh of satifacation and rubbed over your entrance, you let out a hum and arched your back further before he plunged a finger into your soaking wet cunt, your mouth dropped as he slowly fingered you, he watched as your walls tighten around his fingers, his mouth dropped and he couldnt wait to put his dick inside.

He lifted up your ass as he started to apply pressure and finger harder, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked back at him. ¨like that?¨ he asked as he continued to finger, you bit your lip and nodded your head, your hips moved back into his hand as a small smirk played on his face before he stripped his fingers away, you let out a whine, wanting him to keep going before he surprised you and applied his tongue to your clit, your mouth dropped, his tongue was circling and you let out a moan.

¨timmy” left your lips, fuck. Is this what you were missing out on? Your stomach has butterflies as you leaned back wanting more, he let out a chuckle against your lips in cockiness seeing as you were enjoying this. He shook his head against your pussy and you moaned his name again. ¨dont stop, make me cum timmy¨ he let out another hum against your pearl before pulling away with a pop. ¨make you cum? Want me to make you cum baby?¨ he asked, pumping his fingers.

You looked back at him and seen your juices covering his lips, you could finish just now, looking at his low eyes, looking at him made it seem like he was clouded with ecstasy. He licked his lips and you nodded, letting out a soft please. He kissed your ass before getting on his knees and pulsing into your pussy harder, your eyebrows furrow as you close your eyes, opened mouth gasps and a deep moan just rips away from your lips, fuck, you couldnt take it. And the way timothee looked at you didnt help, ¨shit¨ he muttered, taking his thumb and rubbing your pearl in complete circles. Your mouth hung low as your belly started to heat up, you could feel yourself about to explode. You let out a whine and he bit his lower lip, ¨look at me, look at me while i make you cum¨ he circled faster, you looked at him desperate, desperate to finish.

And suddenly you did, ¨timmy!¨ you let out, your eyes rolling and the way he tried to ride your high out was overstimulating for you so you jerked your body from his fingers, to which he laughed at. ¨shut up¨ you laughed, putting your heand in your hands as your stomach continued to burn from the release. ¨you okay?¨ he asked again, you nodded yes and it was okay and that you were ready for the next round, he smiled at you, and you smiled back, before something else caught your attention. He was clearly breathing heavier and as you shamelessly panned his body, and something else was clearly looking at you.

He didnt try to hide it, instead, he grabbed it while he looked at you, ¨missionary? Or?¨ he asked. You shrugged in return, you liked that he mentioned missionary first, “is that a good angle?” you asked, “any shot with you in it is a good angle, y/n” he said, stripping from his sweats and boxers before coming over to press a kiss on your lips. Once again, the kiss became heated, he leaded you to lay on your back while your lips were still together. He came down and laid firm on you, pressing up against your bare pussy. You held onto his curls as his soft lips were on yours, his tongue entered your mouth, shamelessly clashing against yours, your teeth. It was so hot, he pumped himself before pressing up against your entrance. He rubbed his dick messily against your clit, looking at you jutter under his touch, he kissed your head before he entered slowly, a soft sigh left your lips as you made eye contact with him, watching his eyebrows press together from the easy slip in, to the tight satisfying feeling of your pussy wrapped around his hard throbbing dick. He looked at you for approval, and you nodded.

“y/n, fuck you feel good” he muttered, his mouth opening as you opened your legs further, wanting more. A throaty moan left your mouth as you leaned up on your elbows to watch him fuck you, his dick hit your spot everytime and he only moved faster. “Timmy, keep going” you moaned, your head tilting back from the euphoria. He reached up and grabbed your tit, massaging it as he continued to let out moans, “fuck, like that? You like that?” he muttered, now focusing and putting his hands on both sides of your head. He rocked his hips thorough, his mouth agape and low groans ripping away as the headboard of the bed clashed against the wall time and time again.

“yes! mmph-“ you were cut off by how deep his dick was inside you and how your sensitive nipples tickled in his touch, the way he looked so focused and lost in the moment only made you more wet, you tilted your head back and let out a cry, he was hitting the same spot over again and fucking you harder, you felt your walls clench desperately and that only motivated him more. “timmy!” you whine, putting your hand on his stomach and closing your legs around him, the sound of skin on skin became more relevant as he didnt stop, “i got you” he let out in a breathy, low and seductive tone.

he slapped your hand out of the way before taking it and your other and placing them ontop of the pillow, holding your hands by the wrist as he came down and kissed your sweet spot, “oh my- mmm!” a high pitched hum broke and tried to hide your neck, this was all so overpowering and it felt so good, “where do you want me to cum, y/n” he whispered in your ear, “fuck!” he closed his eyes and his hips rutted slowly, still having powerful strokes, “inside” you let out, he looks up at you before letting out a laugh, “are you crazy? you’re gonna get pregnant- shit” the pleasure took over, canceling his sentence.

“i wont” you shook your head, fuck thats all you wanted, for him to fill you up, give himself to you fully. he looks at you and presses a kiss to your lips before letting out an okay, he takes one of his hands off of your wrists to come down and rub your clit, but it was difficult considering how wet you were. your body was overstimulated and tried to fight his hand off by moving your hips, but when you moved them it just made him go deeper, past your spot, you froze in that position, your body shocked as he hit a point you didnt know anyone could. “fuck! dont stop!” you scream in a whiney tone, keeping your hips where they were. “cum for me” he said, his jaw clenching as he looked at you with all seriousness, “take it, take it from me make me cum!” you cry, his hand moved faster against your clit and more rough groans left his lips, your mouth suddenly became agape and he looked at you, your eyes pouring into his as you came. “timmy, im, im cumming” your eyebrows furrowed, it felt like the world stopped, your body jerked and released all the knots in your stomach. he came down and you both shared and open mouthed sloppy kiss, he bit his lip and and looked down at you, fucked you harder and the bed creaking and the camera was so close to flipping over.

“mmm” his lips pursed together, fucking you faster now, “timmy!” you cried again, before his mouth dropped, a whiney moan left him lips “y/n, y/n, aw, fuckkk y/n” he said over and over again, feeling his seed shoot up in your stomach as he looked at you, both eyes were desperate for each other, so hazed in the stars. he let you go and your arms went under his, holding him as he let out “uhs” as he finished cumming inside you, and making sure you got all of it as he messily rutted his hips until failure. your back came off the matress as you accepted the cum shooting up your pussy as your chest uncontrollably heaves.

his head falls into the deep of your neck, still breathing heavy but applied kisses there. Once he catches his breath, he sits back up and pulls out, a curse leaving your lips as he grabbed the camera and pointed it at you, you looked at him behind the camera, he was still breathing heavy and he reached his hand to your lips, his thumb brushing over them before you took it into your mouth and sucked, a smirk and a small chuckle left his lips before he took out his thumb and traced it along your body, you were covered in sweat, your body glistening heavenly, or at least he thought so. the camera following, all the way down until he zoomed in on your fucked out area, seeinng the cum slowly leaking from your hole and your clit visibly swollen. he separates your folds from each other, “man i could really eat you out again” he joked.

[davinashifts333]

DATING SONG MINGI PT.1:

⚫️summary; once again, first part to MINGI’s section in the new ATEEZ fics or requests i am taking. this one’s for my new friend @ateezatinyfan 🩷! this is basically what dating idol!mingi would be like as a famous person yourself. STREAM ATEEZ!! STREAM CRAZY FORM!! STREAM THE WHOLE DAMN ALBUM BECAUSE IT SLAPS!!

⚠️warnings; iNsAnE fLuFf, Mingi being Mingi (aka HOT & baby at the same time), smutty topics, swearing, idk tbh, whatever else is in here but if you’re not 18+ YOU SHOULDNT BE HERE ANYWAYS. STREAM CRAZY FORM!!

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-Dating THE BEST RAPPER OF 4th GEN KPOP, the King himself, S O N G M I N G I, the killa of ATEEZ, was something you never expected.

-He always needed attention, whether it be texting updates every 1-2 hours (sometimes even every half hour) because he just missed being around you? Or whether it be you ending up at his dorm & accidentally falling asleep.

-We’re getting ahead of ourselves here, let’s go back to the moment you met. At the yearly [insert award show name here] when you introduced them before their performance & he was insanely flustered going on stage until he remembered he had to put on his stage face & absolutely sent it.

-He had been a longtime Ideal Type for you so, your fans knew from the moment you were asked to announce, that you were super excited to announce ATEEZ as performers. What you didn’t know was that all of ATEEZ already knew who you were, were huge fans of your work & would constantly here updates about you from their little Princess Mingki.

-Mingi legit had NOTIFICATIONS on for your instagram, tiktok, twitter, vlive, etc.

-Yunho had reached out on his personal IG once to ask you to collab but, you didn’t know they had secret personal pages so you simply ignored it, being afraid of it being a bot.

-after ATEEZ gave their usual show stopping performance, you went back out to thank them & one by one they shook your hand & bowed in a sign of respect & acknowledgement of your admiration for them.

-Mingi, being last he held your hand softly & evidently gained a bit of courage since he had placed a soft kiss to your hand which just made the crowd erupt in applause.

-backstage he was being scolded by HongJoong for doing that without notifying you or anyone for that matter until you stepped in.

-“Ani! It’s okay! I found it very sweet. No need to scold him HongJoong Hyung.”

-“Ah! Y/N-ssi, I’m so sorry about that, I don’t know why I did it, I just saw you there & thought it was the perfect moment. I’m so sorry.” Mingi hurriedly apologized.

-You stopped him by kissing his already flustered cheek. A huge ear to ear smile forming on his face as you came down from your tippy toes & the rest of ATEEZ standing there in shock at the event unfolding in front of them.

-safe to say from then on, you exchanged numbers with all OT8 & had a group chat within a week of the award show.

-Mingi would ask you only days later to go on a date & you obviously agreed. He took you to the beach, you had an adorable candlelit picnic & then ended up going to the street market & meeting up with the boys for karaoke.

-after karaoke he drove you home & ended the night with an actual kiss after he had been embarrassed by his members exposing his attraction for you from a long time ago.

-on the drive back to your house you took hum the long way just to talk more & sat out in the car for another 2 hours just chatting & getting to know one another more.

-you were very similar but had keen differences that just made it even more perfect. you were an extrovert & he was obviously an introvert who became extroverted around those he felt most comfortable with, you liked things he didn’t & he respected that & the other way around. but what made him go in for that real first kiss was hearing how passionate & admirable you were about your job, how hard you fought to be in the place you were now & how you would do anything for the people you loved.

-he saw you as a completely different person from what he imagined, better even.

-& he simply blurted out his confession.

-“Well, even though you already heard it from the members, I wanted to say it myself. Yes I have liked you for a long time, how couldn’t I? You are so beautiful Y/N-ssi. So talented, so amazing & I would love to keep seeing you like this, no matter what comes our way. I feel so comfortable around you & I like it & when I like or believe in something I am honest about it.”

-you froze, it was all happening so fast but it didn’t feel wrong, it felt like it was going the way it was meant to go.

-so as he stood with your hands in his, admitting his attraction to you, you decided to do the same.

“Mingi-ssi. I completely agree. I appreciate you telling me yourself too & I want to admit my side as well. It feels right, whatever is going on between us & I have liked you as well for a while. My fans all hear it in interviews & such. You are always who I name as my Ideal Type & I constantly get told why don’t I tell you. Well, I guess I was just afraid of it being a schoolgirl crush. But now, talking to you openly & comfortably, I like you even more. I would love to keep seeing you like this & potentially more.”

-this boys eyes SHONE. you couldn’t tell if it was tears or sheer happiness in them but he was just so precious & handsome & caring how could you say no? plus you had to admit seeing him smile at you with such care made your heart almost burst out of your chest.

-you finally say your goodbyes, even though it was killing you both inside & he drives back to his dorm only for an hour or so later you see a notification on the group chat.

-‘TEEZERS & Y/N-SSI’

-it read “this is how your boyfriend came home.” with a video of him gushing about how perfect & how much better you were now than in his head or just from videos he had seen of you in the past. San sent it, teasing the both of you, which he loved.

-you saved the video & kept re reading the text. ‘boyfriend’ made you giddy. your Idol, your Ideal Type WAS yours. it was crazy how a simply little kiss on the hand had evolved into this.

-from then on, you two were inseparable, always in the news being captured together, or on Dispatch, Enews, etc.

-he constantly has flowers sent to your house to remind you he’s always thinking of you.

-has to ALWAYS have you close by.

-WILL fall asleep on you even if he is damn near 2X your size.

-is always gifting you small things that remind him of you or that he knows you like.

-leave his jackets & baggy shirts over at your place “by accident” but really on purpose because he loves seeing you post instagram stories wearing them.

-posts you on his ‘#FIXON_stagram’ posts but it’s mainly candida or cropped pics where your tattoos (if you have any, nails, shoes, silhouette, shadow, etc. Which both your fans LIVE for.

-you always end up meeting him & the boys at the studio, dorms, bars, or for dinner because the boys love you just as much but definitely not more than Mingi because he’d kill them.

-HongJoong & Yeosang being your closest members aside from Mingi but you loving them all equally.

-Mingi being the definition of “Golden Retriever Boyfriend” & you being his “Black Cat Girlfriend”.

-fans LOVING your relationship & how open & honest you both are in interviews & everything but how private you keep certain things as well.

-MINGI WRITING SONGS ABOUT YOU. YES, THE SONG MINGI, writing about you because he is so head over heels he is already planning baby names 6 months into the relationship.

-you meeting his family 1-2 months in because he just HAS to show you off to them.

-“Y/N-ssi! Mingi-ah has told us to much about you! Welcome come in please! You can call me Eomma Song, please sit, tell us about yourself.” with the biggest most warm smile on her cute little face. You see where Mingi gets his loving heart from.

-Mingis dad pulling him aside to tell him he picked a good one, which Mingi tells you later. (because he can’t hide ANYTHING from you… no literally, he asked you to check a cut on his big toe because he thought it was infected…)

-Eomma Song loving you & being a fan of you herself so much that she asks to take a picture with you so she can frame it. You gladly agree & laugh at Mingi’s 😲 face when he hears her already planning to frame your photo.

-“Eomma! You don’t have a photo with me or my members! I will get you one!” Everyone bursts into a fit of laughter at his subtly jealous remark but he is only joking.

-in conclusion for this part, dating this Princess is a full time job on top of your full time job BUT, you love him so much you can’t help but feel like you’re on cloud 9 anytime you’re with him just like he surely feels with you!

-he is YOUR Princess Mingki & your only.

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A/N; HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING MY ATEEZ DRABBLES SO FAR! WE MADE IT TO 19.4MILLION VIEWS IN 24 HOURS FOR CRAZY FORM!! LETS KEEP STREAMING ATINY!! LETS MAKE OUR BOYS PROUD!!

[autism-connoisseur]

what's your take on karkat now that you know his big secret?

genuinely amazing how his whole personality is a defense mechanism.... this guy cares he cares so much but his whole life hes had to push people away lest they Find Out.... living in constant alert ever since he had consciousness of how Different he was and how dangerous that was for him, knowing that everyone around him would cull him on the spot if they found out about It.... if im not mistaken trolls' tears are the color of their blood so he also had to repress himself to Not Cry. and for a person as emotional as karkat thats such a challenge!! not even out of sadness, or grief, but people also cry out of happiness, nostalgia, frustration, anger... those two especially i can see happening to karkat. and hed hate it.

he can be so Mean sometimes, perpetually angry... sure, it might be part of his personality, he is definitely easily irritated and prone to heat-of-the-moment decisions (like when he ran sollux's code and promptly exploded his computer and cast a curse on himself & his friends) but like i said, he's lived his entire life having to be Alert, not being able to let his guard down, because he would die if he did!! and at the same time he needs to prove himself, prove that despite being Wrong and Different he can do things!! he can be useful!!! maybe if he makes himself useful enough someone will even see him as a person and not just a mutant... thats why he is so dead set on being the leader. much like dave he has lived his whole life Needing To Be In Control Of Things (rose too, but shes more like she needs to Understand People, if she can read people correctly then she can avoid them flipping on her (no she cant that is not how it works babe)), but whereas dave is content with letting june be the leader (even if he wants to surpass her, hes very much doing his own thing anyways) karkat NEEDS to be the leader because that way he will prove that hes capable (to his friends in particular but to society as a whole, they are basically a mini representation of society anyways with each of them representing each caste).

but also he blames himself, he blames himself so much whenever anything goes slightly wrong and that feeling just gets amplified since he ran sollux's virus. it's a vicious circle for him since he needs to be in control and call the shots to feel like hes useful (defense mechanism, you wouldn't get rid of an useful pest even if he was a pest now would you?), but whenever something goes wrong under his command he freaks out (maybe relating it to his blood color? like he is Bad so this happened. also we know he takes sollux's virus's curse very seriously), he takes it as proof that He Personally Is Wrong and obviously everyone knows this, but since he doesnt want to be seen as that and he wants society to accept him without ever realizing there was a reason they shouldnt (see: also why he wanted to join the military or some part of it at the very least) he doubles on his efforts on Controlling everything.

and when he realizes they created our universe, it finally gives him a chance to be above someone. to be the powerful and not the powerless, the respected and not the shunned. its why he treats the beta kids as stupid, inferior beings, and why he constantly points out that he is their god even though he isnt (well he technically is but you get it). it mimicks the way some highbloods treat lowbloods, but where the highbloods are like that because society told them it's their natural right that they were born with, karkat does it to forget what that same society told him: that he was somehow intrinsically worse than anyone else. so bad, in fact, that he'd be better of dead. actually, he'd be so better off dead that they want him dead, that they will kill him as soon as they find him. so of course he takes the chance to not feel like that! of course he wants to feel superior! he needs to be the one above for once, he needs that control over someone instead of feeling like he needs to watch out for everything and anything. he sees a chance to not be the lowest link in the chain, and he takes it. sure, he may be a mutant, but theyre human... and not just any humans. the very same humans that doomed their session, the session karkat threw himself into because not only did it grant him escape from a planet that hated his existence (as much as he also idealized, trying to fit in, trying to not be seen as Abnormal even though all the beta trolls are Abnormal & don't fit in), it also gave him the chance to, like i said, prove himself.

he trusts his friends, he does, and he said he'd tell them his blood color eventually. but he needed to be ready and that's why both jack noir & terezi, or at least their reactions, are so important to him. neither of them shuns him, they don't attack him, they don't make fun of him of call him aberrant or do anything that most trolls would. fair, jack noir isn't a troll, and he doesn't even understand why karkat is freaking out. but when he shows him his own blood, the same color, karkat is suddenly not alone. even if red blood doesn't mean anything special to jack, to karkat it means the world to see that he is not some abomination, that the universe didn't signal him out to be different than the rest forever and always. and terezi, terezi is what really does it for him. shes somewhat high in the hemospectrum, she is someone that karkat likes (and apparently kissed! good for him because God knows the kid didn't let anyone in out of fear of being found out), she is a troll. and she doesn't mind. she even calls him adorable in the same log! the beta trolls are outcasts of the alternian society; and they are karkat's friends. that's why he was willing to tell them eventually: it was his secret to keep and his secret to share. and even if terezi found out when he wasn't ready yet, her reaction was absolutely positive. again, these kids are the furthest away from troll society as they can be, almost its opposite, which is why karkat thought about telling them, is willing to tell them. he knows hes safe with them.

ive seen people point out how his handle (carcinoGeneticist) references his sign (carcinogenesis is the process by which an organism gains cancer) and both these things represent how hes considered an anomaly & something to be rid of, something sick; i also think it's. ironic that he's the knight of blood, but i don't know enough about classpects yet to analyze that. it must have felt like a cruel joke to him, though, being told that his literal title was someone who fights for the same thing he's ostracized for. it would certainly piss me off that's for sure.

[starkidsimping]

before the batman : annotations

spoilers for the novel btw //

these are just some lines i highlighted and my notes. warning, theyre very stupid and hold little to no actual content. literally just my immediate response to whatever i had just read. THIS IS STUPIDLY LONG ! ! blue - bruce centric notes green - edward centric notes pink - misc notes, other characters, etc.

Prologue: The Boy in the Choir

"But when it was empty, Bruce had played in the big room, rolling toy race cars across the gleaming wooden floor all by himself."

OH MY GOD BRO :( what a patootie

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"Except for one boy."

wsp baby :( ily

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Chapter I: Summer Plans

"Alfred smiled and held up a notebook computer. 'I did. Straight A's. You made the Dean's List again.'"

hes just so proud of his boy </3 weeping

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Chapter II: A Secret Project

"Alfred liked to joke that he was teaching him 'Brucejitsu.'"

theyre so cute im gonna vomit

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"...private train car..."

this is insane. for the record .

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"(About nine times out of ten, the mysterious substance turned out to be chewing gum.)"

let bro have fun :( hes so cute im gonna cry. just imagine him being so excited about making some incredible scientific breakthrough of an unknown, potentially supernatural substance and its. gum. hes so cute :(

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"Maybe someday soon this car could take him there."

HES SO CUTE hes just a little boy ..... (hes 17.) honestly his dissatisfaction with life is just a result of nepotism. my poor wittle nepo baby

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Chapter III: Edward

"...Edward Nashton."

HAIII :3

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"You weren't supposed to say you hated school. But you were supposed to think summer was fun."

CHRIST hes so autism coded. 'supposed to,' like theres a certain way that youre meant to think that everyone else knows about, but he specifically is left out and has to guess on what hes 'supposed' to say, think, feel, etc...

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"He smirked at me. Thought he was so much better than me."

sighs loudly .

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"If a distant relative sent some money to one of the orphans, everyone would say, 'Man, you're such a Bruce.'"

NOT THEM TURNING HIS NAME INTO A SLUR LMFAO

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Chapter IV: The Bruce Wayne

"He quickly found the right wrench by touch."

oh my god bro be soooo fkn fr. hes such a loser. i love him

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"He certainly didn't want to blow the engine. Just make is growl."

oh hes one of THOSE …….. okay baby whatever makes you happy. i love how hes literally just the Car Boyfriend. F1 fan . smh

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"'The way this guy was driving, I thought maybe they'd changed it to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.'"

dickhead

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Chapter V: I Know You

"Anything except his parents back."

oh. erm …!

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Chapater VI: Dex and Paul

"That felt good—leaving ’em in the dust."

hes so cute. "haha yeah >:) i totally win"

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Chapter VII: Thrills

“'Cheapskate,' he’d muttered as he walked back to his bike."

bro is so unserious. 'ax an elder' like that would blow over well. youre such a little freak i love you I LOVE YOU

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"But now just the thought of doing something wrong—even something dangerously criminal—thrilled him."

you need a better outlet baby. have you considered getting diagnosed ......

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Chapter VIII: You're In

"It was a puzzle he was determined to solve."

PUZZLE MENTION ! ! i like the parallels between ed and bruce ; both getting a thrill out of something they shouldnt be doing, being really good at certain respectives (i.e. edward and puzzles, bruce and cars) (this feels really autistic. for both of them)

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"And he had a feeling Dex would disapprove."

he js wants to impress his cool new friend this is so sad lmao

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Chapter IX: The Race

"But then the flash turned into a flame, and the flame spread quickly. BOOM!"

babys first act of terrorism LMAO

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"Her engine blew, and her black muscle car careened off the street, hit a wall, and burst into flames."

OH MY GOD ?

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Chapter X: Bye, Paul

"I wore my seatbelt like a good citizen should."

girl what are you on about now is NOT the time

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"Aww, he thought. Poor little rich kids! Did someone bust up your racing party? Too bad! I wonder who it could have been."

shifty little fucker bro is MALICIOUS LOL

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Chapter XI: Running

"Now, how was the race last night? Did you win?"

ALFRED ILY SM bro is so silly

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Chapter XII: An Appointment

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Chapter XIII: Changes

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Chapter XIV: A Suit

"Bruce had written his thoughts down in a notebook:"

i just adore that he keeps a diary. i found it hysterical while watching the movie and now i just appreciate it

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Chapter XV: The Point

"He brought the same lunch every day—sandwich, carrots, apple."

hes so cute im gonna THROW UP. im gonna throw up. same thing every day bro im just adding this to my list of reasons as to why hes autistic. possible safe foods for him and also just routine. god i love him. if he told me to make him a sandwhich i would. whats feminism idk ......

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"Edward looked him in the eye. 'For a numbers guy, you sure use a lot of words.'”

ok fine i giggled. hes such a smartass LMAO what an asshole (affectionate)

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Chapter XVI: Robbery

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Chapter XVII: Smear it On, Blow it Up

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Chapter XVIII: Under the Mask

"'You again?' he gasped. 'What do you want?' 'You,' Bruce said,"

im blushing

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"Then he got an idea. What if it wasn’t there anymore?"

please for the love of god do NOT blow up the building full of orphan children i cannot keep defending you

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"It was Dex."

GENUINELY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD ??

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Chapter XIX: A Visit to Smitty

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Chapter XX: For My Lawn Mower

“'Give me back that bag,' Dex warned, lifting the rake. 'Or what?' Bruce asked, chuckling. 'You’ll rake me into a neat pile?'”

shut up dude 😭 😭

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"Keeping a careful hold on the satchel, he wrapped his powerful arms around her, trapping her."

HELLO SAILOR

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“'I’m going to fill this,' he explained. 'For my lawn mower.'”

i cannot keep defending this guy (yes i can) hes gonna set a fkn orphanage on fire dawwwggg

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"And just like always, Edward had made exactly zero impression on the cashier."

the "disguise" wasnt even necessary bro no one gaf 😭 😭

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Chapter XXI: Nice Kick

"...he saw the driver on the ground reach into his pocket, pull something out, and aim it at the truck. A remote control."

goodbye bruce. you were so so sexy

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"As the fire alarm went off..."

BRO . YOU DID NAWT .

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"They were right. There was no fire. Yet."

oh ok nvm carry on then

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Chapter XXII: Busted

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Chapter XXIII: Resolutions

"Then something interesting occurred to Edward. What if I sent riddles with my crimes?"

UR SO CORNY DAWG . shut up ur so corny . someone get this cornball outta here (and in my BED)

[simping4-2manyppl]

is it okay if u do a Tom x reader with an Ed (so sorry if you are uncomfy with this ❕️❕️🤍🤍🤍)

Tom Kaulitz 🎸

Ofcc i hope you enjoy 🫶🏼 i dont know much about ed’s but im going to try my best 💗 if this triggers you in any type of way please contact me! Or if i did anything wrong, I absolutely mean no harm and i will fix my mistakes.

TW! ⚠️

Contains ED! And other possible sensitive topics!! Angst! I honestly dont know if i wrote about an ED cause im not very educated on it so im sorry if its not correct!

You woke up rubbing your eyes, seeing yourself in the mirror that stood infront of you. You stood up from your bed and walked infront of the mirror frowning as you pointed out all of your insecurities and picking at them.

You bit your lip as tears formed in your eyes, “Why me?” You thought, a knock on the door interrupting your thoughts.

“Y/n! You awake?” You heard, it was tom. Your best friend, he usually checked up on you to see if you were awake, since most days youd sleep almost all day.

“Yeah!” You replied, looking away from the mirror and getting dressed. You were going to go with the band someplace, it was probably an interview or something like that.

You werent apart of the band but youd usually tag along with them since you were one of their closest friends.

You picked out some baggy clothes that hid some of your insecurities perfectly. Once you finished you walked out of your room as your eyes met with toms.

“Tryna copy my style today?” He said, in a joking way. “You stole this outfit idea from me!” You said rolling your eyes playfully.

“Sureee.” He said as you both laughed and you made your way downstairs to the kitchen.

“Good Morning!” You heard bill say, “Morning!” You said with a smile on your face, you didnt want to bring the others moods down just because you werent feeling the best, so you tried to put on a big smile and pretended to look as happy as possible.

“You coming with us again today?” Bill said, munching on something he probably found in the pantry.

“You know it, gotta support my favorite boys!” You said giving him a small wink. He laughed and nodded.

You made your way to the living room as you saw gustav and georg searching for something, “Morningg, you guys need help with anything?” You said raising your eyebrow.

They looked at you and smiled, “no thanks, we got it!” you nodded and walked over to the couch, sitting down.

If you were being honest, you were so tired, and hungry. But no matter how hard you tried you just couldnt eat food without throwing it right back up.

This habit of not eating started a while ago but you were too afraid to open up to anyone and talk about it, assuming your friends would judge you because the real reason of why was because you had a crush on tom, but you knew he only saw you in a friendly way. And his type was beautiful gorgeous girls with the perfect bodys. Something you couldnt relate to. So you kept it a secret, but it would hurt you every time you saw tom with one of his girlfriends or heard them at night.

It took a big toll on your mental health and sleep, most days you felt like a zombie, not being able to sleep and just wanting to be away from everyone, but you tried to be positive in front of your friends so you wouldn’t worry them.

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Time Skip

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You waited for the band in the back as they were doing a small interview, once it was over with you could hear the screams of the fans and them yelling all sorts of things.

Of course some were about tom, you then saw as they stood up to greet some of the fans and saw him talking to some girl, you knew you shouldnt have gotten jealous but you could help it.

She was perfect, and tom had looked like he just fell inlove, of course you knew he just wanted her for one night but it still hurt to see him being all flirty with her. You didnt know why but seeing him with her bothered you so much and you just couldnt figure out why, she sure was beautiful but hes been with alot of girls and none of them bothered you as much.

You sighed and looked at yourself, comparing yourself to her and immediately feeling sick. Oh how you wished you looked like her.

You waited for a bit until everyone got back, so you just decided to stay quiet and keep on going with your day.

Once you got home you locked yourself in your room, immediately plopping yourself into your bed, sighing and closing your eyes.

You eventually fell asleep but would wake up throughout the night hearing the one thing you didnt want to hear, a girl in your best friends room. Basically screaming her lungs out.

You decided to sleep in, not wanting to do anything as your energy just kept getting lower and lower by the days.

Ag some point throughout the day you heard knocks on the door asking if you were alright or going with them some place and you just tried to ignore them but gave them short replies not really wanting to talk.

A few days of you being like this everyone decided to talk to you, it wasnt normal for you to be acting like this. Tom was the first one that knocked ti check in with you as always but you just groaned and complained that you were just tired.

He decided to leave you alone amd when you heard another knock it was gustav this time.

“Hey ___, you okay?” he said in a soft voice, “yes gus, im okay! Just tired.” You said yelling and laying your head down on your pillow.

“You havent came out at all, can i come in? Please?” He said, his voice sounding sad.

You sighed and bit your lip, “going..” you said and walked up to your door, unlocking it and letting him in.

You closed it quickly as you didnt want anyone else to come in.

You turned around and faced him, “What gus?” you said, “I jus- Oh my god, are you okay?!” He said as he fully saw your face, the dark circles under you eyes fully taking over your face and you skin looker paler than ever.

He had a worried look on his face as he looked at you, analyzing your whole face. “Im fine! Im just extremely tired gus.” You said sighing.

“No! You’re not okay, you look skinnier and more tired, like a literal zombie ___! Whats going on?” He said, as he got even more worried.

Your eyes started tearing up and before you knew it you started bawling your eyes out like a baby.

“I just cant do it anymore gus, im in love with tom! you know how much it hurts to hear him flirt and see all those girls with him? It hurts so fucking much gustav.” You said, as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Oh god, im sorry ___, But maybe he loves you too! I mean have you seen the way he looks at you?” he said trying to calm you down a bit.

“No gus, he likes those other gorgeous skinny perfect girls, i cant compare to that. He only sees me as a friend.” You said, sobbing.

“Thats not true ___! Youre so Beautiful and perfect to all of us! Please dont be starving youself and making changes to yourself just cause you think you arent pretty cause you are ___!! Probably one of the prettiest girls i have ever seen in my entire life!” He said hugging you even tighter as you just cried onto his shoulder.

You lift you head off his shoulder, looking into his eyes as you sniffled, “ you really mean that?” You said biting your lip so the tears would stop flowing out.

“Yes! Ask anyone! And its not just because we are your friends! Its true ___, i dont know how you dont see it.” He said with a frown on his face.

“Then why not me?” You said, your lip quivering. “Im sorry ___, hes just not looking in the right places, cause he has an amazing girl right infront of him.” He said pulling you into a deeper hug.

After that day youd only really talk to gustav, letting him in your room and talking with him, but one day he left and you heard a knock which you assumed was just him coming back fr something he mustve forgotten, but you were wrong.

“oh my god.. ___..” Tom said staring at you in disbelief as you had the door wide open. “Tom?..” you said quietly, “are you okay? Ive been so worried, oh gosh, you look so..” he said as he stood closer placing his hands on your cheeks, analyzing your face even more.

You know you looked more tired than usual but you were just drained from all the nights of you crying, and well you havent ate something in quite a while either.

As much as gustav would try to get you to eat you refused, but would lie to him saying you ate so he wouldnt worry too much.

“Whats going on ___?” He said biting his lip, “nothing tom. Now i want to be alone can you please go?” You said looking away from him as the eye contact was starting to get unbearable.

“Not until you tell me whats going on.” He said firmly, you started getting angry and pushed him out. “ i dont want to talk right now!” You said slamming the door shut and locking it.

You felt bad but why couldnt he just leave you alone, you wanted to get rid of your crush on him so things could go back to normal but it was so hard.

You sighed and opened the door seeing him looking down, “im sorry..” you said your head hanging low as you started to feel guilty for the way you were acting towards him.

“___ you’re my best friend, im worried about you.. can we please just hang out together or something? I miss you.” He said staring at you.

You could feel the way his eyes looked at you causing you ti loft your head up and you nodded as you met his eyes.

“Yeah, i guess..” you said putting your hand on your shoulder, not knowing what to do.

“Lets get snacks and watch our favorite movie no? Maybe that can help you feel a bit better..” he said, giving you a small smile.

“I- i guess..” you said, and walked over with him. Once you retrieved the snacks you went over to the living room and sat down as he put on your guys favorite movie.

“Alright, lets eat!” He said, “im actually not hungry right now, maybe a little later.” You said, pushing the snacks away from you.

“… if you say so.” He said slightly frowning and playing the movie.

You eventually drifted off to sleep in his shoulder and once you woke up you saw him already staring at you.

“Rise and shine princess.” He said, chuckling. God, why did he have to make this worse for you..

“Sorry, i didnt mean to fall asleep, i guess i was just tired.” You said, yawning.

“Its alright, im just glad you’re here with me.” He said smiling at you.

You bit your lip, “i should go to bed now.. Ill see you tomorrow yeah?” You said getting up from the couch.

“Oh.. yeah okay, ill see you tomorrow then?” He said looking at you with pleading eyes, hoping youd say yes.

“Yeah.. maybe, goodnight tom.” You said, “goodnight ___, love you.” He said and you just gave him a small smile and walked back upstairs to your room. You laid down in bed and sighed, shutting your eyes to drift off to sleep.

After a couple of weeks youd start hanging out more with the band again and mostly tom but as you sat down in the kitchen stool you felt someone come behind you.

“I brought you something to eat.” He said, placing a takeout box in front of you.

“Im not hungry right now, but thanks tom.” You said pushing it away, and giving him a small smile.

He sat next to you and sighed, “___, you’re never hungry.” He said, “im just not tom, i already ate.” You said wanting to stop talking.

“You dont have to lie to me! Im your best friend, plus youve been in your room like alllllll day. I havent seen you come down or anything to eat ___. So please eat.” He said pushing the food closer to you.

“Tom i said im not hungry!” You said, frustrated.

“___, whats going on. I know you havent been eating, i can tell! and when you do you take the smallest bites ever! and never finish it and say youre full. Why are you doing this to yourself ___?!” He said standing up now.

Your eyes got teary, “because im not skinny or pretty or … anything tom!” You said starting to break down into tears.

He looked at you shocked, “___… why do you say that? You are pretty! im looking at you and you are of the most perfect girls ive ever seen.” He said as his eyes started to get soft and teary.

“Then why dont you like me? If im so perfect why dont you like me tom?” You said full on bawling.

“W-What?” He said, shocked and confused.

“I love you tom. I like you.. but ive never been perfect like those other girls that you are always with, i cant compare to them. They have model bodies and beautiful faces, and i dont. I thought maybe if i stopped eating it would just fix all of my problems, but it only made them worse.” You said, in between sobs.

He immediately wrapped his arms around you, “y/n, i do love you. Ive always have. I thought you didnt like me so i distracted myself with other girls to get over my feelings for you, i didnt wanna ruin the friendship that we had. I thought you hated me.. when you started ignoring me ___..” he said, starting to cry.

You stopped crying as you were in shock, not expecting him to say those things. “Tom.. i could never hate you, i just wanted to distance myself so i could get over you, it hurt seeing you with other girls, i also didnt know you liked me..” you said staring at him, “please dont cry..” you said, placing your hands on his cheeks.

“___ please promise me you wont do this again, please try to eat, i know itll take some time but please ___.” He said, looking into your eyes.

You nodded, “ill try tom, i really will.. im sorry.” You said, “no i am, i really do love you ___.” He said as he started leaning in closer to you, “i do too tom..” you said, your faces inches apart.

He finally closed the gap between you two, softly placing a gentle kiss on your lips. He moved his hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him.

Once you departed he gave you a small kiss on your nose and smiled at you, you smiled back at him and blushed.

“Now lets get you something to eat, yeah? Then we can focus on everything else after meine liebe.” he said, placing another small kiss on your lips then grabbing the food as he helped you eat, even if they were small bites he still helped by giving you small praises.

And this was why you fell in love with him..

[purlty23]

gonst turned dc follower here, would love to hear your thoughts about bat jokes ❤️

BATJOKES UNDER THE READ MORE

As Im sure everyone knows, theres a toooon of different timelines and universes and Batman iterations out there.

My favorites personally are:

🤡 The Killing Joke

🦇 Batman: The Animated Series

🤡 Lego Batman

🦇 The Batman 2022

🤡 Batman: The Dark Prince Charming

I grew up watching A LOT of super hero cartoons, some older like 1960s Spider-man and some newer like BTAS. Batman the Animated Series was definitely my all time favorite and still is to this day. Cant help being born in the ninties. Its a heavy cross to bare

I just think that there are some universal truths I like to have across all my batjokes, no matter what universe or situation theyre in. I want them UNSANE, UNSAFE, and WEIRDLY CONSENTUAL.

To me they are two guys who never should have crossed paths, but tragedy after tragedy in their own lives led them to the same place on the wrong night and ever since, they've been attached by the same fucked up red string of fate. Joker is obsessed with Batman because Batman helped craft him. Batman is obsessed with Joker for the exact same reason.

Batman thinks "I can fix him". He sees Joker as a fundamentally flawed, extremely dangerous, but most importantly unwell person. He needs to believe that theres hope for people like Joker.

Joker thinks "I can make him worse." His whole life revolves around their games together. He needs to fuck with Batman more than anything else in the whole world. He needs to pull Batman down to his level. If only he could finally get Batman to kill someone, to kill HIM. Then he can finally prove that Batman is just as unjust and chaotic and BROKEN as the rest of the world. No one is above the effects of society (BEATBOXING NOISES)

Joker is not cis at all also. That guy is not a man at all he is a woman. He is a gay man in the she/her way. He is high femme and high maintenance and is NOT A CHEAP GIRLIE. I do think that he does absolutely abuse and mistreat Harley in almost every iteration, I find it so difficult to imagine their story ever turning out a different way simply based on.... Well their relationship is always an awful power dynamic that shouldnt ever have happened.

In a perfect world like Lego Batman I can see them being best friends. Gal pals. Maybe Harley is the first woman who ever makes Joker feel like a woman, and thats special. Sure, Joker is married to his work, but he loves her. He loves her deeply in the way that queer people have been loving each other for hundreds and thousands of years; without label or limits. He cant imagine being without her in his bedroom at 3am on hot Gotham summer nights. The hyenas are just an annoying add on to his already stupidly annoying life. Just like Harley's gf Ivy is.

I was kind of hoping that the new Joker Folie movie would do something cool about Joker and Harley's relationship. But as a DC fan you kind of just learn to deal with disappointment. I havent seen it yet, and dunno if I will. I think if anyone had a shot at being an actually interesting and net positive relationship between them would have been that specific iteration of Joker meeting Harley not as a doctor, but as a pop star. A beautiful, very high in society. A woman who when she speaks, people listen

I also think that Joker should never care too, too much about finding out Bruce's true identity. I think the anonymity of their tussles is an incredibly vital part for Joker. I think it probably perplexes Batman, maybe even disturbs him a little the lengths that Joker will purposefully go to in order to keep the secret. He doesnt want to know AT ALL and yet is utterly obsessed with him either way. The same way that he doesnt ACTUALLY want to kill Batman. Because if he kills Batman, he'll be killing his whole drive for life. He'd be killing himself

Also Bruce is bisexual and also falls in love with so many people in the queer way, thats why hes always checking up on Gotham Asylum patients. His massive evil gotham polycule that he refuses to call that

[xhanelia]

Okay so this was the ask but when i deleted the post, it got deleted too. I tried to write the post again as much as i remember. All of my luck aside, i have my first official anon now i am so happy!! Thank you for the request, green anon! Hope you like it 💚

How would Sova react to a mute reader

I think he would ask Sage or Brim about what kind of a person you are before trying to talk to you, but lets just think that you were introduced in the middle of a mission. (absolutely not to make the fic longer and maybe interesting)

In the missions, Brim always wants an "understood" after his commands on the field. To confirim that his voice went to the person and make sure they did not get hurt. When Brim gave you information about the building and told you what you should do, you did not reply. Sova got scared that the new agent might have got caught or hurt but seeing the steril face of Brim, like this is what was supposed to be, he got a bit confused and went to his part of the mission. Trying not to think about it.

Later on, when you return with the information you have on your hands (witch is nothing but a little flash drive) he sighed in relief that you didnt got hurt. With the smile on your face, covered mostly by the mask you wore, you handled the flash drive to Chyper. He thanked you in his own language to show intimacy to the new agent. Well, to you.

Also Cypher was never leaving your side after your first mission. Being a new agent means that he will follow you everywhere like a tail stuck to your back. (This is cannon btw.)

He glared you two a bit. One side hoping you wouldnt turn out to be his friend or such, the other wants to get to know you. Either way, it was the first time the moral of HQ, Sova, didnt talked to the new agent by his choice. He was intimidated by your similarities with Chyper.

At this point, Sage needed to ask Sova if he was okay. She understood that he did not liked secretive persons but you were far off from Chyper. She convinced him to at least say hello to you while passing by. But he would still avoid any conversations with you.

You nod everytime he greeted you. Sage told you that Sova (a tall blonde man that has a prostetic eye, she said. Pretty much noticable.) would cheer you up if you feel down or lonely. But it was like the other way around. At least near you. When you look at him with other agents, he was like how Sage described him but when he notices you, his smile drops down a bit.

At some point, you decided to ask him about why he was like this to you. Gathering your courage, getting yourself a pen and a little notebook, you began to search for him.

He was in the tech room. Making adjusments to his bow and arrows. He looked up to you from where he was sitting. You waved to him as a hello, he nodded to you back. Thinking maybe you dont want to talk to him at all.

You got out your pen and notebook, wrote something to it and slowly pushed it to him. He looked at the notebook and to you, then again to the notebook. Reading what was written on it.

"I am so sorry if i did something wrong to you."

He stood still after reading the paper for a good 10 seconds then looked up to you. Such simple words but it hit Sova so hard. Now getting that you cannot talk, it feels like the guilt was building up in his chest.

"You were mute?" It sound like he was scared to even ask this question. You slowly nod with a broke smile. It was visible in your eyes.

He stood up. "No... i am sorry. I should have tried to get to know you at first but i was stuck to the thought of you did not wanted to talk to me. I... shouldnt have judged you beforehand."

Even though he kept the Chyper intimacy you have to himself, you understood his reasons and wrote again to the paper.

"Its okay. I hope we can be friends!"

He smiled at the paper. "Ofcourse." He said with relief. After everything, he is still blaming himself about his prejudices about you, but seeing you getting happy with his words is enough to convince him that it does not matter anymore.

He tries to learn sign language. Its like a form of a apologize to you. Afterall, you cannot talk to him through paper forever, can you? He will make up to you. He promises himself.

[devine-fem]

oughghhhghhhhhh please im too bitter abt jon's age-up that i'm in the denial stage still. but maybe also because dc barely even handled it anyway? they went straight into acceptance. like he just lost his teen years......... his family and friends lost him too...... .. . .... i can't imagine what it'd be like to have an 11 year old son and next week he's nearly a grown man. how does he cope with that, shouldnt he be an absolute mess??? how does his family cope with that?? ? arent they a bit too chill???????? Why did dc inmediately launch him into a couple relationships. Why is superman instantly okay with leaving his legacy up to his son who no longer has a secret identity. HOW DID HE EVEN GET INTO COLLEGE???????????????????????

There’s no way to fix Jon Kent with the way he is. The best thing to do would be to undo it somehow. I don’t know why they’re so hesitant, I need this to be given to a writer who’s not scared to take him and throw him back into his peak, actually mend his character instead of trying to add nuance where it isn’t.

[duchessanon]

For the love of Henri: Tome 7 - Legend of the Ginger Pubes

Looks like it's one tome per two years. The never awaited next chapter is here.

What you missed on FTLOH…Henri’s beloved first wife’s (Philanthropina)  death was faked by the evil Kate and Meghan. Meghan married Henri but after accidentally burning a piece of Jesu’s cross, she became hated by the nation. Meghan decided to get the public back on side by procreating…however Henri was reluctant to give up his nethers.

After two long weeks of marriage, Henri had still not exposed his nethers to Meghan. Every time that Meghan tried to seduce him, he claimed he had to teach paupers how to grow their own vegetables, or was going to sleep on the streets to connect to the homeless (something that was his idea before Bulliam stole it and took all the credit). 

Meghan had tried everything to entice his nethers. From dressing up as a sexy nurse, which resulted in her volunteering at the Hospital for the Sick and Decrepit after Henri mistook her intentions. To running them a romantic bath and having to scoop out all the water so Henri could water his plants. But alas, the nethers remained hidden.

One day, Meghan was lunching with Fergie, discussing the problems with her sex life. Fergie was the only member of the royal family who was as open as an American like her.

‘Have you tried getting your toes out?’ Fergie said, eating a grass sandwich.

‘Yes of course I have, he started doing “this little piggy” with them, honestly gave me the ick’

‘What about engaging in some dirty talk, maybe the whole tampon thing runs in the family?’

‘Actually Fergie, I’ll have you know Dear Papa Charles NEVER said he wanted to BE a tampon, just that it would be his luck that he’d become one!’

‘Tomatoes, tomatos. Anyway there might be something else you could do if you’re really serious about this baby business’. Fergie wiggled her eyebrows.

‘Spit it out woman!’ Meghan yelled, like the loud American she was. 

‘I know a woman who knows a woman who could get you a baby, it’ll be genetically yours and everything’ Fergie winked dramatically. 

‘But his nethers won’t arise for me, how am I supposed to get a genetically correct child?’

Fergie started waving around her hands and throwing petals in the air, whispering as pink smoke began circling around her. ‘As a royal wife, you are now privy to one of the family’s biggest secrets. Royals can create babies simply using their pubes! BUT, the baby MUST be carried by a Chosen One.’

Meghan gasped, ‘tell me more! Have there been previous Chosen Ones?!!!!’

‘Tiggy Leggy Iggy Wiggy Bourke, Julie Andrews, Rose (Allegedly) Chalomet’ 

‘Urm isn’t it Cholmondeley?’ 

‘Hush child!’ Fergie put a finger to Meg's mouth. ‘Speak not of what you know’.

‘Great I’ll have Julie’

‘FOOL, the Chosen One is chosen for you and can not be swopped between wives!!! Besides, only my beloved Eugbea has been blessed with the pipes of her Pube Mother, Julie’ Fergie span in a circle for dramatic effect.

‘Ok, no need to be so busybody! So Diana used Tiggy? You used Julie and Snake used Rose?! What a headfuck! Who did Liz use’

‘Are you DUMB!? Blood princesses don’t need a surrogate! That is only for married in women’. 

‘So what must I do?!’

Fergie’s eyes bulged with excitement. ‘Retrieve five pubes from Henri, and then consult the Mistress of the Pubes, she will tell you what to do next’

Meghan stroked her chin thoughtfully, ‘five pubes you say? Shouldnt be so hard…’

*

Later that day, Meg and Henri were watching a Richard Attenborough show side by side on the couch without touching.

‘Henri my love’ Meg cooed.

‘Yes dear’ Henri replied while reading Libby’s latest French novella, which they were planning to sell to raise money for three legged horses. 

‘I was just wondering about the consistency of your nether pubes’ she said.

Henri choked in embarrassment. How could she bring up such a lurid topic? ‘M-m-m-y nether pubes?’

‘Yes well, my friend Gwynyth Paltrow says it’s important for men to condition their pubes as it increases productivity - can I have a little sample of yours? I’ll send them to Goop HQ and they’ll make you a personalised conditioner!’

‘I don’t think so Meghan dear, I’m happy with my productivity levels. I’ve just beaten Aunty Anne for the first time on my engagement count!’ Henri was proud yet humble about this achievement, and was certainly NOT bragging.

Meghan scowled. She really thought mentioning productivity would get him. Henri was devoted to his work, after all.

Later that night, in bed but not touching, Henri was reading some Greek philosophy. On the cover was a Greek statue showing off his clean, bare nethers. She was struck with an idea.

‘You know my love, that is one on Phily’s old books isnt it?’

‘Why yes it is’, he said with a tear in his eye.

‘She had an awful lot of philosophy books with those statues on the cover, and I found a few of her hand carved sculptures in the garden. They all had very bare nethers’ she smirked.

‘Well that is the style, one can’t sculpt in pubic hair!’ Henri said defensively.

‘Phily could’, Meghan said. ‘Phily could do anything and she was a huge supporter of natural bodies, I wonder if she just didnt like pubes on men’

Henri’s mind raced back in time. Phily was a advocate for natural bodies and was patron of the We Love Our Bodies And Body hair Society. But it was also true that she loved Greek sculptures and pubeless men.

Henri leapt out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Five minutes later, he appeared looking sheepish. Meg went in, finding just what she was looking for. A used razor with ginger pubes stuck in it. She laughed manically ‘FINALLY MY TIME HAS COME!’

*

The next day Meghan hopped on a flight to NYC using Elton’s plane. She approached the door of the Den of the Mistress of the Pubes, which was actually the Penthouse Suite at the Plaza Hotel. 

After knocking on the door, someone called ‘who goes there?!’

It was a special code and Fergie had given Meghan the password - ‘BITCH FLAKES!’.

The door opened and Meghan smelt a familiar tropical scent - JLO Miami Glow perfume (2005). Outside the window she could see a beautiful sparking woman on top of the Empire State Building performing a pole dance. When Meghan blinked, the woman was in front of her.

‘JENNIFER LOPEZ?!!’ she exclaimed. ‘YOU’RE the Mistress of the Pubes?!’

‘You got it’ Mistress winked. ‘I’m real, the way I walk the way I talk…’

‘I can’t believe it, you can dance, act, sing (kinda) and make babies from pubes’

Mistress broke into song and Meghan stood awkwardly while she finished, ‘don’t be fooled by the rocks that I got, I’m still Jenny from the block’.

‘Okaaay, so can you help me get pregnant?’ Meg said, knowing she could sing better.

‘You know I can’t get enough, I love that shit, you know I cant get enough, you love that shit’ Mistress wailed. 

‘Shut up birch! I dont wanna hear your fuckin album!’ Meghan screamed, her tongue lashing out and poking Mistress in the eye. 

‘Fine! What’s the problem?’

‘Henri wont give up his nethers and I need to get preggers so the British public forgive me for burning the cross of Jesu’ 

‘Wait, who are you and who’s Henri?’

‘Henri, Prince of the People!’

‘Ohhhh, Princess Phily’s man? God I miss her’, JLo wept as most people did when they talked about Phily. She was known and missed by every single human, animal and atom on the planet (apart from Meg, k8 and Willy). 

‘Well yes, I have his pubes and I need a baby’. She handed over the five ginger pubes in a golden napkin stolen from Liz.

JLo took them and tucked them between her tatas. ‘Come back this time tomorrow’.

*

That time the next day, Meg returned. She was off her face with excitement about who her surrogate could be. Surely for Henri, it wouldnt be some low level aristo like Rose (allegedly). Maybe it would be Dakota Johnson or Simone Biles!

When she got to the penthouse, Mistress JLo was there standing in front of a red curtain. Meg gasped when she saw who standing bouncing on his knees next to her.

‘Uncle Eddie?!’ Meg screamed.

‘It is I, Edward the curtain drawer-backer! No reveal can be made without me’

‘So this is how you make your extra cash’, Meg said.

‘Ok people, let’s not delay, the procedure was successful and I can confirm there is a royal baby on the way’, JLo said. ‘We will now reveal your surrogate’.

Eddie clapped and cheered.

JLo started singing as Eddie gripped onto the curtain rope. ‘Let’s get louuud, LET’S GET LOOOUUUUUD!!!!’

The curtain was pulled back revealing the surrogate. Meghan screamed like Kevin in Home Alone.

A stunning voluptuous lady was revealed, wearing a ruby bikini and a smile, ‘SHUT UP BIRCH, WHO PISSED IN YOUR FLAKES?’

It was Jimmu. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

[bridgyrose]

If you've seen Hazbin Hotel - Emily and Charlie have a girls night that may or may not upset Vaggie... a lot.

(Yes, I have seen Hazbin Hotel, so I hope you enjoy this little drabble)

Vaggie paused as she watched Charlie do her makeup, trying to think if there was anything she was missing. It wasnt an anniversary, that still wasnt for a few months. Though she was certain it wasnt any sort of event for the hotel, otherwise Charlie would be making a bigger fuss about how everything looked. No, this was something different. 

“So,” Vaggie started. “What’s the occasion?” 

Charlie finished putting on her make up and started to brush her hair again. “Well, remember when we went to Heaven to try to stop the exterminations and get them onboard with our hotel?” 

“Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this?” 

“Emily invited me back up for a girl’s night.” 

“Wait, what!?” Vaggie made her way over to Charlie, not quite sure she heard her correctly. “Why would you want to go back up to Heaven?” 

“Because I think Emily will be a great friend to have,” Charlie answered as she finished brushing her hair. “And… I think she really does believe that our idea can work. So if being friends with her means making an ally up there, then I dont see why I shouldnt hang out with her.” 

Vaggie sighed and sat down, watching Charlie as she finished getting ready for her girl’s night. “Then you shouldnt go alone. Someone should go with you-” 

“I cant bring Alastor, Angel, or Husk for a girl’s night, Nifty is a bit too… and you… if I take you up there, then who’ll watch the hotel while I’m gone?” 

“Since your dad is sticking around with us, I figured he could.” 

“You remember what happened the last time we left him and Alastor alone, right?” Charlie gave a small smile as she finished up. “Besides, you’re the only one I trust to keep the hotel running while I’m gone. And its only for a night, I’ll be back by morning.” 

“Wait, cant we talk about this before you go?” Vaggie asked as a portal to heaven opened up next to Charlie, standing up and putting a hand on her shoulder. “I really dont want you to go alone.” 

“I promise, I’ll be fine.” 

Vaggie sighed as she felt Charlie kiss her forehead and rush into the portal. She watched the portal close, still a bit upset at her girlfriend for rushing off on her own and without telling her about it. It wasnt like her to keep something like this a secret, and if she wasnt going to accept any help to keep safe, then she was going to take things into her own hands. 

Vaggie quickly rushed out of Charlie’s room and started to make her way to Alistor’s, already running through her head how to get this favor without making a deal with him. When she reached his room, she knocked on the door, blood nearly freezing as she heard his voice. 

“Come in!” Alastor said, his voice almost a bit too cheerful. “I’ve been waiting for you, my dear.” 

Vaggie took a deep breath as she walked in. “Alastor, I need you-” 

“I know exactly why you’re here.” Alastor pulled away from his microphone and smiled at Vaggie. “And I can give you exactly what you want. For a price.” 

“I’m not here to make a deal, I just need a portal to Heaven. And I know you know a few people who can make that happen.” 

“And if not for a deal, then what do you plan to use for payment?” 

Vaggie paused for a moment, then smirked. “If you know why I’m here, then you know that Charlie’s in Heaven. And since you made a deal with her for a favor you still havent asked of her, I know that you’ll get me a portal to Heaven so I can keep her safe. Otherwise, if something happens to her, you lose that favor.” 

Alastor’s smile slowly lowered to as close to a frown as he’d let it, glaring at her. “Fine, but only so Charlie can make good on our deal.” He turned to look out his tower once more, his smile coming back. “Though, I’m sure Charlie wont like you following her if she didnt tell you that she was going there in the first place. If I’m going to get you a portal to Heaven, then we’re going to need to make you look less like you.” 

Vaggie hesitated for a moment as she watched Alastor’s shadow start to grow and a green glow started to come across the room. “A-and… what exactly do you have in mind?” 

“Oh dont worry my dear, this will only hurt for a second.”