#a desperate proposal

[the-broken-pen]

“I don’t need you.”

It sounded less grounded than the villain had wanted it to. It sounded like something someone had told them to say, and they were just repeating it with half hearted determination. They said it again, “I don’t need you.”

“No,” the hero agreed. They were grinning. “You don’t.”

The villain floundered. They, in all honesty, wanted a fight. To prove something, they supposed. That they really didn’t need the hero. That they weren’t in the wrong, here. “What?”

“I said,” the hero said slowly, and the beginnings of a grin curled at the edges of their mouth. “You don’t need me.”

“I don’t need you,” the villain repeated, and the hero nodded encouragingly. It just made the villain want to hit them.

The hero lounged against the doorframe, halfway in and halfway out of their apartment. And truly, that was the worst bit of it all—the hero wasn’t showing up outside the villain’s house, or driving by the villain’s work to see if they truly looked happier without them. But the villain was.

They wanted to scream, and kick, and throw plates onto the ground.

‘Leave me alone.’

But they couldn’t say that, because the hero had. They had cut contact and blocked numbers and ignored the villain’s car as it went by. Still, the villain felt haunted. As if they would never be clean of the hero, parts of their soul forever dirtied by it all.

The hero’s smile, and the way their voice sounded when they knew the villain would cave to their wishes.

They just wanted the hero to—

“Leave me alone.” It slipped out against their better judgement. From the way the hero’s grin widened, they knew it had been the worst thing they could have said.

“Darling, I have,” the hero said, their tone saccharine. Pitying. “You’re the one outside of my apartment.”

It felt like being burned alive, the frustration of it. The way it rose in their chest but had nowhere to go, leaving them shaking with nothing and everything trapped under their tongue.

“That’s not what I meant and you know that—“

“What, you miss me that bad? I thought you—“

“Shut up,” the villain snapped. The hero raised an eyebrow.

“It’s eating you alive, isn’t it?” They sounded pleased.

“It’s not,” the villain protested.

“I told you, you don’t need me.”

“I know,” the villain grit out.

“But you want me.”

Something in the villain’s brain stalled.

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t need me. You never have,” the hero said it like it was a fact. “You want me, though. Even as the sound of my name burns you, and the memory of me rots in your mouth, you’re going to want me.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” The hero’s voice dropped to a whisper. “You can go out to every bar in this city, kiss a hundred people who look like me and get just drunk enough to forget you’re not mine anymore—but you’re never going to stop missing me.”

The hero knew, of course they did, how hard the villain had tried to forget it entirely. The disaster they had become trying to be clean again.

“No matter how many shots you take to block out the memory of me, you’ll always be mine.”

“You’re insane,” the villain finally managed. The hero simply tipped their head to the side in acknowledgement. “That’s not-what’s wrong with you—“

“You’re the one who misses me.”

It stung, deep in the villain’s stomach. It took them too long to remember how to breathe—too long after that to think of what to say.

“If I’m lucky, I won’t ever have to see you again,” their voice quivered, slightly. “But knowing us, the next time we meet it will be in hell.”

The hero laughed and closed the door in their face.

The villain blocked them. Avoided the side of town the worked in. Moved three cities over.

It didn’t matter.

The villain could still feel the hero under their skin.

Later, whenever someone would ask, “Have you ever been haunted?”

The villain would think back to the hero.

And say, “Yes.”

[clairi-yos]

I've been reading RMB today and with the trailer coming out the other day we have a much clearer idea of how part 1 is going to go and its got me thinking about how they're gonna adapt the book scenes to fit with the Debling plot.

So what if in Ep 4 Debling proposes to Pen towards the start of the episode and that's why in the Pen/Portia clip in the trailer Pen's eyes look like she thinks she's making a mistake/she's panicking and Portia's reassuring her with "you've done so well, what more could you want?"

Then at the end of the episode we have the carriage scene and the episode ends with the carriage arriving at the Featherington house and Colin ALSO proposes like "forget him, marry me". It would make such a good cliffhanger for the mid-season finale.

Then at the start of Ep.5 we can have still have a silly farcical scene with Colin and Portia that keeps the spirit of Portia's Felicity misunderstanding intact but this time she's not following Colin's meaning because Pen already has another proposal from a 'better' titled suitor?

[wishchip106]

kinda want to rewatch apocalypse just to criticize it again

see if there’s anything else i can pull apart

or maybe dofp

idk i need to just pick one and watch it

but it’s too late for that i have a good sleep schedule to keep in tact i cant ruin it now

just gonna need to pick something from my brain

i mean when Charles get baldified i physically cringe idk what it is about it

maybe its the fact he just lost his beautiful princess locks 💔

and when apocalypse takes over cerebro and Charles eyes go black. there’s something about it that just doesn’t fit and i have no idea what it is

also how was it a bad thing apocalypse sent all the nukes to space (apart from actually littering and causing some other problems due to that)

i don’t think we should let old people have access to bombs let me have them or something

the old men are sad because they lost their lethal toys ☹️

something i don’t understand is why stryker took Moira

like i get why he took the others but Moira???

tf did she do??

conspiring with mutants?? huh????

honestly the movie would’ve been just the slight bit better if Moira wasn’t there

SHE DID NOTHING

LIKE ACTUALLY NOTHING BUT STAND AROUND IM SO PISSED

DO SOMETHING????

all she did was flash around her title that she works at the CIA

you can’t convince me Charles is straight i know he’s sucked dick AND taken it up the ass 🤨🤨🤨

moving to a new topic BUT WE COULD OF HAD MISTER SINISTER

like there was more reference to him in new mutants BUT STILL

SHOW ME ESSEX CORP WHAT DID THEY DO WITH LOGANS BLOOD???

did transigen steal from them or something? maybe that’s one of the ways they could of made Laura who knows

idk what else i could talk about that i haven’t already said

[electric-plants]

cyno, learning alhaitham got appointed as acting grand sage: hm can’t say he’s suited for it, i hope he’s replaced soon for all of our sakes

cyno, two days into alhaitham being acting grand sage: i will do everything in my power to keep him in this position for as long as possible and yes this is a threat

[estrellami-1]

Birthday Surprise

Happy birthday to the GREATEST of all humans!!! Even though you don’t consume ST things the way I do, I hope you accept this small token (as well as the nails… and the tea… and the text… 😂). Love you babe! ❤️ @doubledeckersofa

“Stevie,” Eddie crooned, soft and low.

Steve hummed as he was dragged away from sleep, frowning in the morning light. He opened an eye to peer at Eddie. “‘S early. Hav’a nightmare?”

Eddie chuckled, a rush of breath over Steve’s cheek. “No, sweet thing. Wanted to make sure I said it first.”

Steve frowned again, sluggishly moving closer to Eddie, laying his head on Eddie’s shoulder. “Said what?”

Eddie pressed a kiss to Steve’s temple. “Happy birthday,” he whispered, and suddenly Steve was wide awake.

“Oh,” he murmured, smiling when Eddie chuckled. “I forgot.”

“You forgot your birthday?”

“Well if someone hadn’t woken me up at the asscrack of dawn…”

Eddie snorted. “Check again, babe, it’s nine.”

Steve frowned at him. “You’re lying.”

“Nope.” He popped the p. “‘Course, that happens when you don’t go to bed ‘til the next morning.”

“Yeah, what was it, like three?”

“Just about.”

“Which means you woke me up after six hours. Jesus fuck, Eds, how are you awake right now? And functioning?”

“Says the one who just did math.” He gently poked Steve’s cheek. “You’re… you’re not mad, right? That I woke you?”

Steve playfully snapped his teeth at the finger floating by his face, then turned to press a kiss to Eddie’s collarbone. “No. But I am going back to sleep.”

Just then, someone banged on the trailer door. “Steve? Steve! I know you’re there, man, open up!”

Dustin.

Steve groaned and pushed his face into the pillow. “How much would we have to pay Wayne to threaten Dustin into going away?”

Eddie snorted. “I like how you think that would work at all. You know Wayne adores Dustin.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get the door before he wakes up? And start the coffee? I’m gonna get dressed.”

“On it,” Eddie promised, pressing one last kiss to Steve’s lips.

Just then, the trailer door opened, and Steve and Eddie shared a look. “Too late. He’s up.”

“How upset’s he gonna be?”

Eddie chuckled. “I think you should come out here with me. Wayne’s got a way about him. You might even see an apology outta Dustin.”

Steve rolled his eyes as he sat up and pulled on the first shirt he could find. “Now that would be a birthday miracle.”

They stumbled out into the living room together, Steve snickering as Eddie almost tripped over his own feet. “Shuddup,” he muttered, shoving lightly at Steve’s shoulder before pulling him close to smack another kiss to his temple.

“Sap,” Steve muttered, and Eddie grinned.

Wayne cleared his throat, and they stopped short. “Your boy’s got somethin’ to say.”

Eddie elbowed Steve. “Toldja,” he muttered.

Wayne gave Eddie a look, and he looked down. “Sorry.”

“I, uh, I’m sorry,” Dustin said. “For interrupting your rest and banging on the door and, uh, making a general nuisance of myself.” He glanced up at Wayne, who nodded.

Steve sighed. “It’s alright. I know you get excited. If you could just remember there are other people in the world, you’d be set.”

“Yeah. Um, in my defense I did come over to help make birthday pancakes.” He held up a little bottle. “I even brought the sprinkles!”

Steve snorted and jerked his head to the side, motioning Dustin close enough he could sling an arm over his shoulders and press his knuckles to the top of his head. “Thanks, bud. Lemme get a coffee- oh, Jesus, marry me,” he interrupted himself, reaching for the mug Eddie was handing to him.

Eddie froze for a second, then smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist. “Soon as we’re able, babe, I’m getting on one knee.”

“Um.” Dustin blinked. “I feel like I wasn’t supposed to be here for that. Should I come back later? Like in a couple of hours?”

“I second that,” Wayne added, and Steve flushed red as he buried his face in Eddie’s shoulder.

“I need everyone to please forget I said that.”

“No can do,” Eddie laughed, taking the mug only to put it down and wrap both arms around Steve’s waist. He nudged at Steve’s temple with his nose. “Want them to come back later? I know you meant it, but I also know you wouldn’t’ve said it if you weren’t so tired.”

Steve sighed. “No, it’s fine. I’ll drink the coffee and be fine as long as we can sleep tonight.”

“We can.” He began to sway them gently. “You know I’d say yes?”

“Hm?”

“If you were asking. Or whenever you ask. If you ask. I’d say yes.” He pressed a kiss to Steve’s cheekbone. “And I meant what I said. The minute it’s legal, I’m down on one knee.”

Steve pulled back and framed Eddie’s face with his hands. “I know,” he murmured, leaning in for a short, sweet kiss.

They pulled apart after a minute, and Eddie handed Steve the coffee again. “Go sit down. I’ll help the kid.”

“Hey!”

“You’re still under eighteen, squirt, legally I can still call you that.”

They bickered all the way into the kitchen, and Steve smiled at them as he sipped his coffee.

“About that,” Wayne said, and Steve blanched.

“I swear when I ask for real I’ll get your blessing first.”

Wayne chuckled. “Consider it had. I knew you two were it when you barely left his bedside in the hospital.”

Steve blinked. “We weren’t even dating yet.”

Wayne raised a brow. “Was I wrong?”

He chuckled. “I guess not. Since then? Really?”

Wayne hummed. “You lit up. You both did, seein’ each other. ‘S like the rest of the world ceased to exist. I saw it again just now.”

Steve stood silent for a moment, thinking. “Thanks, Wayne.”

“You’ll always have a home here. That’s not dependent on you two bein’ together. You’re my kid as much as he is.”

“Oh,” Steve said quietly, and quickly took another sip, as if to stop the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

Suddenly, he laughs. “Eddie and I are basically co-parenting the kids. How do you feel about being a grandfather to seven rugrats?”

Wayne laughed, his eyes glassy. “Pretty damn good, kid, pretty damn good.”

Permanent taglist:

@justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove

[cartcop]

actually tho I think there's something really gorgeous about the possibility that Eddie could pursue someone of his own volition, realize it's not what he wants, and fucking. walk away. not cling out of a sense of responsibility or obligation or idea that he's broken for not wanting it. just. realize that while he does want a partner, this one isn't it, and be okay with choosing that for himself

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 3 thoughts

here we go! this episode is titled "blood" which did not bode well for me, the girl who hates blood. but i am dedicated and pushed through in the name of our mission.

we open at a post office. sometimes, i think it would be fun to work in a post office.

but alas! our postman has received a paper cut. he licks it up which... can't be hygienic.

and then he immediately gets fired :( this is sooooo unfair

when he returns to his post his machine reads "KILL"!!! my first thought was that this was gonna be a little shop of horrors style thing where an inanimate object tastes blood and Likes it (Which is sort of what happened? but mostly not really)

((side note: need to see mulder and scully take on audrey two))

so it seems that the people are either being told by machines to do some killing or all the members of the town are experiencing collective hallucination...

mulder arrives. i was distracted by his fluffy hair. from the notes: "his hair is fluffy. he isn't saying much at this crime scene but his hair is fluffy"

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! he played right field! (this was brought up when the policeman mentioned the suspect was on the softball team)

back to our post office friend, who is near a child with a random nosebleed whilst getting some money, and now the ATM is telling him to kill people

mulder points out that these are spree killings and not serial ones <-okay human embodiment of the nerd emoji.

it's a totally normal report on the crimes, no spooky stuff involved, and scully is reading it... until he mentions UFOs and she says to herself "i was wondering when you'd get to that" LMAOOOOO she knows him too well

we see a woman being lured into a dark garage by a mechanic and i thought i knew where this was going but i DIDN'T because SHE gets paranoid and the machine tells her the guy is gonna get her and she freaks out and STABS HIM

mulder arrives to the crime scene with a really funny looking camera. can anyone provide me more information about this camera? i'm curious

anyway, he shows up at the house of the woman who killed the mechanic, and we see another example of his bountiful social skills when he asks to come in and she says "i'm late for work" and he just barges in and says "you can blame me". i love this man so bad it's actually a problem. he WILL get inside of ur house.

but her microwave is telling her to kill him and she pulls out a knife and STABS him and i was yelling NOOOOOOOO! and then the cop he was with shoots her and VERY QUICKLY we get a cutscene to....

SCULLY AUTOPSY TIME!!!!!!

she thinks there's some sort of chemical that is making the people do this

we also see poor wet meow meow mulder's bandaged arm :(

back to the ex-postman, who is seeking new gainful employment at a supermarket in which there are guns for sale in the back, another reminder that this show is set in america. he starts to see evil things in the TV but resists (and it might be related to the blood drive at the store but? it's a little unclear tbh)

mulder running scene! getting his cardio in! the man is dripping in sweat! he sees a guy toss some stuff in a yard and it's... dead bugs?

so who does he take the bugs to? well, the weirdos who previously were consulted for another case: the conspirators at the lone gunman! famous for the one guy hitting on scully and ripping up her twenty dollar bill

so we're back to these freaks and he says he didn't see their latest issue because "it arrived the same day as my subscription to Celebrity Skin"

now, i had an educated guess here based on name alone, but needed to confirm what this "celebrity skin" truly was. a search brings you to an album by the band Hole, and i was like omg!!! we're gonna get an insight into his canon music taste!!!! there is nothing more i LOVE than learning a character's favorite artists <3

but, this cannot be... for the show takes place before 1998, when the album was released... so i dig further

chat, as expected, it is a porn mag. seems to have involved some unethical stuff. mulder: ur a sick man.

the even sicker man who previously hit on scully was like "where's your little friend?" and he counters with "she wouldn't come. she was too afraid of her love for you" and the weirdo responds with "she's tasty"

now i want you to buckle your seat belts for what mulder says next. buckled? secured? sat? everyone is in a safe position? okay. he says:

"you know, it's men like you that give perversion a bad name"

HELLO? hey. hi! quick question <3 what does that mean. mulder a freak confirmed????

(i mean i guess we DID already know he fucked phoebe on arthur conan doyle's grave, which is going to stick in my head forever, but. don't make it worse. sometimes he's such a Man)

anyway the weirdos at the lone gunman think it's related to pesticides. and then mulder asks to borrow their night vision goggles and the weirdest of weirdos is like "only if you give me scully's number!"

cutscene to him using the night goggles

(mulder, if you gave that creep her number, i will NEVER forgive you. so keep that in mind)

he's sitting in a field and it looks so natural, like he really belongs there. bring back sitting in fields. but then he breaks into the orchard and gets sprayed by some pesticides and thoroughly knocked on his ass

mulder's yelling at some guy to take responsibility for the pesticides that he thinks are killing people... a moral crusader serving on the front lines...

scully's here now, btw. she took his blood. which had to be a strange experience. and then she mentions that she FLEW 300 MILES in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to come take his blood?

holy shit, mulder. she did that for you and you've been so broody and angsty lately and maybe even gave some dick her phone number. holy shit mulder, do not blow this. you cannot afford to blow this. she is soooo good to you.

anyway, he's seeing the same evil messages in technology the killers were now so that's a bummer

mulder proposes that this is some sort of subliminal messaging thing that is being activated by the fear-inducing pesticides and the cop gets pissed and leaves, to which he says "he's probably one of those people that thinks Elvis is dead"

so that's the SECOND line in this show about him being an elvis truther and i'm starting to think it's not a joke

back to the ex-postman. people are coming to his door to take blood and test for the chemicals in the pesticides and he's going bonkers. he's seeing "KILL" in his calculator, which is how you know things are rough. his watch even beeps and says "KILL" which i think would make a very very very very funny gif if anyone has that.

well, all of a sudden he's missing so the agents go to his house and knock. until.

scully realizes the door is open and just. lets herself in. i was laughing SO hard here. these bitches WILL get into your house. they will NOT wait for an invitation. truly a sign of soulmatism.

ex-postman was running running and they're like omg where is heeeeee he's gonna hurt people!!! scully is once again proving her genius status by saying that if it's a paranoia case, then all these guys in police uniforms need to get out of view.

(there's also this shot where mulder is like. smoldering. and she's behind him and man. height difference content i really really do love you and your work <3)

our crazed ex-postman climbs a tower at a college and is gonna start shooting but he's also hallucinating and laughing maniacally which i described in my notes as "entering his joker era"

mulder runs up and prevents a shootout using some handy jujitsu. neeeeed to see if this man is a black belt. for character driven purposes.

but he says that he knows the guy can't stop and overall it's an eerie situation because you can tell the pesticides are still in his brain as well. and his arm is bleeding again and this makes the other guy go into overdrive.

um. okay.

crisis averted...?

well, you sure would like to think that, wouldn't you? but the episode ends with mulder calling scully, and then HE sees more evil stuff in his phone! and it fades to blackness as her voice is heard through the speaker...

(i love that she knew it was him immediately. despite the silence. and that her train of thought went from "it's scully" to "mulder is it you?" to "mulder, what's wrong?" talk about a connection!)

hope he doesn't do anything too impulsive...

in conclusion: my very surface level interpretation of this episode was that it was warning us to not be controlled by technology, which i'm sure felt more relevant back in the day. but now that i have to click "don't sell my data" when i browse flavors of soup for sale online, i think we might just no longer be the target audience. or maybe it's even more relevant! an argument could be made both ways.

down with pesticides, though! i can get behind that! when's the last time you saw a bee? bring them back!

[camgoloud]

imagine for a moment that you are colin hughes. imagine being closeted from literally everyone at work because of your deep and justified fear about what your entire profession might do to you if things were otherwise. imagine then walking into that workplace in the morning ready for another day as Just One Of The Guys and immediately being told by your (straight) boss to tie your dick to your (straight) coworker’s with the literal red string of fate. and everyone involved is just acting like this is normal. what do you even think in this situation. how do you internally react to this. like. just imagine how many layers of microaggression colin is on at this point. everyone else is like a little baby. imagine this with me please because i’ve been unable to stop imagining it all day long and i still can’t even decide if it is just truly fucking hilarious to me or if i have to be sad about it also

[good--merits-accumulated]

truly like... one good Western away from writing an anderperry cowboy au

[lathrine]

im 60 hours into BG3 and just now starting Act II, please enjoy this collection of my favorite companion chatter (+ lae'zel ripping on mammals)

[pergaminaa]

omg y’all!!! i just remembered that throughout tog the Blackbeak Matron kept threatening Manon that she’ll find another heir if she doesn’t get her shit together???

why is this woman giving her more anxiety than what she already has? no wonder Manon was struggling between doing what’s right and following her grandmothers orders (grandmother wins. Every time.) she does so because she knows that if she fails at any task, her grandmother will just disown/exile her and pick someone else to be her heir which is why Manon was so wired into obeying her grandmother’s every command.

and later on in KoA

WHEN DORIAN LEFT FOR MORATH???? FOR MANON TO WAKE UP AND FIND HIM GONE LIKE THAT?????? Dorian my guy I love you so much but you’re only making Manon’s abandonment issues worse by taking off in the dead of the night like that

[scorpionatori]

early series natori is fun cause he really does have good intentions mostly (like there’s undeniably some selfishness and manipulation behind his actions cause that’s what’s been hammered into him) but he’s also so fucking oblivious and inexperienced when it comes to human interaction and has never tried to befriend a single person in his life and he assumes natsume is his mini-me/younger clone who has the exact same desires as him and of course this child will want to be my best friend once he knows We’re The Same and I’m so pretty and charming why wouldn’t some teenager want to be friends with famous actor natori shuuichi [ends up pissing this kid off immensely and pushing all his buttons]

[try-set-me-on-fire]

Tagged by @devirnis for WIP Wednesday! Here’s a whole scene from proposal fic because why not… (vomit content warning)

Bobby shows up on the doorstep before Buck's first PT appointment after being discharged and Buck is hit by sudden intense gratitude for the stupidest possible reason. Ah, he thinks, thank god Eddie isn't going to see what I'm like during one of these. And then What the fuck, Buckley? Eddie did see him after that first session, and it's not like his patheticisms start and end within a 45 minute time frame and the clean walls and persistent disinfectant smell of Dr. Shelley's office. He's spent the last two days in a shivering little lump on the man's bed, sleeping 16 hours out of 24. He's not really sparing him anything he hasn't already seen. What, then? Spread the different facets of exactly how fucked up he is around? Like if no one has to deal with too much they won't get tired of it? Here, Eddie, you can have helping me go to the bathroom because I can't stand up on my own. Maddie, you get me crying whenever I see you or even hear you on the phone because you're my big sister so I get to dump all my feelings on you, that's fair right? Bobby, you can hear me screaming in pain, is that ok with you? You were there last time, I'm sure you'll do fine. It's too much for any of them. It's too much for Buck.

"You ready, kid?" Bobby says, with the softest little smile. God. Buck is going to fall apart into tiny, gross little pieces. Eddie can mop the floor and be done with him.

“Ready,” is what he says, knowing it sounds like a lie.

They have him walking between the parallel bars today. He remembers them, from his leg. They don’t start there, most of the hour is more stretching (ow) and fine motor skills practice (frustrating). But they told him at the beginning they want to get him walking again as soon as they can to avoid any further muscle loss or atrophy, and they want to work with him to see if they can figure out how much of his dizziness is from brain injury and how much is from vestibular damage.

Well, he’s up on the bars now and he couldn’t fucking tell you. The whole world is just spinning around him at a sickening speed as the physical therapist and Bobby both mutter encouragement, tell him to keep taking one more step, he can do it. Buck tries, he really tries, he wants to take these five steps on his own and for the doctor to tell him he’s progressing fantastically and to be tired but happy on the drive home with Bobby, both of them smiling and cracking jokes. Instead he collapses three steps in and vomits on the soft plastic-y blue floor covering. His ear is ringing and he only has a split second to feel humiliated before there are arms around him.

“Sweetheart,” Bobby is saying over the background hum, “Sweetheart, I’ve got you.” There are hands in Buck’s hair and he chokes out a sob. He doesn’t really stop crying until they’re almost back at the Diaz house, how he got from the office to the car a mysterious blur. Bobby is holding his hand on the center console. When Buck squeezes a little tighter he hears him sigh in relief and it almost starts the tears up again. Bobby is out of the car as soon as he's parked, hurrying around to the passenger side to help Buck to the house. He’d protested, days ago, about the need to rent a wheelchair until he could carry a little more of his own weight, but now he guesses getting rolled to the door is more dignified than Bobby having to put him in a fireman's carry.

He’d do it. Buck knows he would, Bobby would pick him up and hold him in his arms and carry him as far as he needed to go. Bobby settles him on the couch, handling him as gently as he would a child at a disaster site, running to bring him mouthwash to get rid of the bitter taste of stomach acid, finding saltines in the kitchen, pouring ginger ale on ice and procuring as if by magic a bendy straw in old fashioned, environmentally unfriendly, single use plastic. He sits on the coffee table in front of him, at attention, ready to appease any want.

"Thanks, dad. Bobby! Thanks- thanks, Cap," Buck slams his eyes shut and drops his head onto the couch behind him. The indignities never fucking end, apparently. He's stopped from withering away entirely by the warm weight of a hand over his own where it lays on the armrest. Buck opens his eyes. Bobby is staring down at their hands, jaw working, breathing through his nose.

"It wasn't even-" Bobby frowns as his voice fails, and clears his throat to try again. "I kept wishing I could be mad at you. Being reckless again, running into danger, getting yourself hurt." He exhales heavily, breath stuttering into a sad little laugh. "But I watched you climb that ladder. I kept playing it over and over in my head. You had three points of contact the whole time. Could have filmed it for a goddamn safety manual. It could have been-" his voice catches again, and Buck turns his hand to grab onto Bobby's. "It could have been any of us. It could have been any of us up there. All the stupid stunts you pull that you walk away from, and it's-" Bobby's free hand waves wildly into the room. "It's a random fucking act of god that nearly-"

"Bobby-"

"That nearly takes you from me," he finishes, squeezing Buck's hand. He's crying, and Buck thinks he might be again, too.

"I'm so sorry-"

"Oh, kid," Bobby says, leaning forward, gathering Buck up in his arms. “Nothing to apologize for. You’re right here. You’re still breathing. That’s all I need.”

Buck weeps again, into Bobby’s shoulder, his captain or father or good friend’s hand rubbing up and down his spine. He is still breathing. He’s still breathing. Bobby’s soft flannel shirt smells like grill smoke and Eddie’s couch is familiar beneath him, and Buck hurts and feels sick and dizzy, and he exists. “Bobby-“

“It’s alright. It’s alright.”

Bobby’s face is wet when Buck pulls away after however long it takes for each breath to stop aching so bad as it rattles in and out of him. Buck wants to say all sorts of things, most of which amount to I love you, but what comes out is a nod towards the TV and “You wanna stay for the game?”

Buck doesn’t even know what sports, if any, are on today, but Bobby seems to hear some of the other words he meant to say because he smiles so kindly at him and says “Yeah, Buck. Anything.”

Tagging @iinryer @bigfootsmom @shortsighted-owl if you’ve got anything to share!

[alpydk]

"Poor baby, Chase." - S1-4 "Have some fucking self respect for yourself man!" - S5 "Poor baby, Chase." - S6 onwards

[tiffycatblog]

The lonely endeavor of trying to find a niche fic that you know doesn't exist and that if you want to read it you need to make it yourself

[nammikisulora]

being very normal about this exchange, what the fuck is that phrasing Kepler!?!