#a day I got perfectly right...
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Brand New - You Won't Know
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Hey hey hey! Mr. Hangman
Go get your rope
Your daughters weren't careful,
I fear that I am a slippery slope
Now even if I lay my head down at night
After a day I got perfectly right
She won't know
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Had another one of "YOU HAVE TO DRAW NOW" moments
I actually did the scene above on my second try of the battle, lv 90 doesn't exactly make it easy to lose
Also I think it's time to show those sketches too
The Siffrin practice once more, but this time a bit earlier
Also first try on figuring Loop's full body ref too
Also this little thing, not as polished as digital would've been
Imagine my reaction when I accidentally gave Loop a flower after trying already and they accepted it. I adored that 'yeah we won't speak of this, but I accept your stupid flower' scene more than anything and it was pure text after little scene
#fanart#sketch#my art#isat#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#in stars and time#start again: a prologue#sasasaap siffrin#sasasap#two hats spoilers#This one belongs here I think!#Playing start again was... A challenge#Like. I had this goal in mind knew what endings it had#Played while saving on literally every corner and/or several steps#To see what “perfect ending” gives on my own#And... Accidentally got the True ending instead#Imagine how loud was I surprised that trying to be perfectly normal while forgetting about (Just attack) being off limits#And then (pikachu face) Bonnie is talking to Siffrin#I didn't restart my try of getting another ending after that until like some day this week#Did a true ending right after that because I wanted to try and weird out everyone after that before the game itself gave it to me#In any case THOSE SCENES#I really enjoy the vibe true ending has#I need to go to bed but I did get another wave of inspiration#*deep sigh*#it's 3:30 am#siffrin#loop
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Ugh I can’t stand how chiefs fans are making fun of jamarr and calling him a diva (among other names) when Travis literally screamed in his coach’s face during the Super Bowl and has been ejected from a game before for disrespecting the ref.
tbh i don't mind chiefs fans shit talking ja'marr, they have every reason to hate him. he's embarrassed their team plenty and has done more than his share of shit talking. let them have their fun (although i agree it's def hypocritical after that travis moment that i guess no one ever wants to talk about!)
what upsets me SO much though is seeing our own fans turn on him. calling him selfish for the hold-in, blaming him for the contract debacle, saying he's overrated, saying we should trade him and keep tee (when they were all saying the exact opposite when tee requested a trade TWICE a few months ago 🙄). and i do understand that ja'marr was in the wrong for this penalty, but getting ridiculous penalties against the chiefs is kind of just what he does! like it cannot be emphasized enough how much that man hates the chiefs lmao.
ja'marr has been STRUGGLING these past few months and it's obvious how much of a toll this has taken on him. i'm not at all surprised things boiled over to a tipping point when he thought he was tackled in a particularly dangerous way (whether he was right or wrong, he DID believe it). right now he's taking a huge risk being out on the field at all without any real guarantees for the future. that shit is scary, it's scary betting on yourself even when you do believe in yourself 100%. people play better when they feel secure, when they feel valued, and the front office did everything they could this offseason to make him feel the opposite.
i'm really hoping he can have a big game this monday. supposedly the commanders defense is Not Good, so that should help us! (i just hope it isn't a trap game for us. but the fact that we're 0-2 i think will make the guys take it seriously.) winning helps cure all ails for competitors like ja'marr, and i believe we've got a lot of that ahead of us!
#also god i was thinking the other day#ja'marr is YOUNG!#he's not a child but like he got thrust into stardom at 18 when he was just becoming a man#and (for the most part) he has handled all that insanity well!#he's always been known as a hard worker and good team player#and now suddenly we're all turning on him because y'all are frustrated with another 0-2 start??#he is NOT the problem. find a new scapegoat!#also also i do think joe may be feeling some guilt/just a general feeling of unease after the Shove Heard Around The World#like joe wasn't at fault either. he was doing the right thing to try to break it up#but you know ja'marr felt that shove like a fucking slap in the face at that moment#it's supposed to be them against the world. ja'marr defends joe against any and everything#(including perfectly logical things like pat being objectively better lol)#joe shoving him back and taking the ref's side must have hurt. regardless of if it was right or wrong.#but of course joe would see it as having ja'marr's back because he was trying to stop further punishment#messy messy messy!#no one is in the wrong! and frankly i love the chance of Character Analysis this gave us.#but let's get the good vibes back soon please!
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ALOS 200 DTIYS!!
@morrogatari HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM FINALLY DONE HERE IT IS CONGRATULATIONS ON 200 OKAY TIME TO YAP
its not as interesting or dynamic as the one i showed you earlier but okay let me explain this. so i have her holding her hands up to her eyes in the see no evil gesture right BUT you see how shes still looking through her fingers BECAUSE you also said she still sees everything. boom best of both worlds or whatever. i wanted to add the blindfold so i sorta have it covering her mouth alluding to the speak no evil gesture?? idk i just wanted the funky eye blindfold. i tried to make it look directly at you AND shes also looking directly at you cause she sees everything,, you see what i did there,, uuhuuhhh you see. i dont really have an explanation for the glowing eyes in the bg i just thought they would be cool and i did end up covering her dogs i aint learning how to draw bare dogs. i also tried to make it a sort of higher angle her robe and the hair behind her is spread out on the floor i hope that came through. one thing im unexplainably proud of is the chains LOOK AT THEM
AND THE FABRIC SHADING I THINK I CAME IN CLUTCH its a little messy cause i could not find a reference for the LIFE OF ME anyways more versions below of course
no shading and without the black hands and legs cause lowkey i forgot they were darker until the end
also look at what i was fucking doing with the rendering. i don’t know where i learned this from but i set it to overlay (the orangey one) and i just put more green over top
AND in true jello fashion
here’s my camera roll 💀
#IM SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY I WAS JUMPING UP AND DOWN CAUSE I WAS DONE#GRAAHAHAHHHH ITS NOT EXACTLY THE VISION PERFECTLY BUT ITS STILL NOT BAD HEY#ive been working on this for. how long#a month maybe right when you posted it when was that#to be fair i hammered out a good portion of it in like two days and then didnt touch it for weeks#like last time lmao#i dont know anything about the fic so unfortunately i cant hide more references in there#i got nothing to say in the tags this time ive already yapped everything out#CONGRATS AGAIN ALO!! BIG TWO ZERO ZERO#i have another math quiz tomorrow lmao#ninjago#lego ninjago#the preeminent#ninjago the preeminent#ninjago dtiys#alo200dtiys#eyes cw#idk just in case#jellos scribbles
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I'm going to fling myself into the sun actually
#not what i was expecting this week imma be honest#you've got a perfectly fine mhok right there day smh#last twilight#last twilight the series#straw watches things
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I kinda hate how the finale of ghosts killed my enthusiasm for anything ghosts since it....urgh
#not tagging#genuinely no hate but god#i feel empty without it and i miss the joy it brought me#i am looking forward to the day i can go back to it and enjoy it again but right now i am quite apathetic towards ig#its still an amazing show but idk it lost so much steam at the end#and the conflicting endings just eh.#its not bad but somehow perfectly made me move on so fast i havent been able to enjoy it since#i want to write thomas thorne bc rogue but ghosts is so dead in my brain#am i the only person like this#also kinda sad the german ghosts havent got any non white ghosts either....#anyway
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nightwatch 2 was a great episode! and it really built on all the good stuff that came from nightwatch 1: a look at the teams' personal lives, a killer fight scene, and good emotional storytelling. it's definitely meant to be a happier episode, though, and it does it well by showing positive progression for the characters (kai finally opening up to someone, chase helping ernie learn to stay still and being a friend) and in particular, lucy and of course kacy. as lucy sums up in the beginning of the episode, nightwatch 2 celebrates kacy's awesomeness as a couple (and as individuals) and how far they've come.
nightwatch 2 is filled with a lot of great parallels that help the episode come together as a fitting full circle moment:
lucy being called in during a date and being forced to go fetch whistler because she's the only one who knows whistler's routine vs. whistler already being there because she knows lucy's routine and taking care of lucy's a big part of whistler's routine now, and she immediately jumps to help lucy. whistler being asked to help in s1 on her off day because they needed her vs. whistler not being needed but staying on her off day anyway because she wants to be there to support the team and lucy
whistler outright asking about the cupcake and the anniversary message (in our fridge! bc they live together!), the open dialogue between them this episode compared to s1 nightwatch when they were walking on eggshells around each other because of confusing relationship status (are we friends or just exes) and things left unsaid (whistler's promotion and lucy's loved confession)
kate and lucy finishing each other's jokes, proudly showing off their chemistry in front of ernie, kate openly showing her worry and outrage in front of tennant when she could barely acknowledge lucy in front of their colleagues before (whistler even going as far as basically telling tennant she didn't agree with the decision to leave lucy alone with joe and keep hpd out of it).
their strong chemistry and banter is still there in 1x20, but it dies a quick death when the conversation, naturally, gets more personal and crashes into the gigantic wall erected between them after the breakup. throughout s2 (and especially in 2x19 and 2x20), it's allowed to flourish and develop, it's so apparent and obvious it ends up constantly on the receiving end of Ernie's teasing comments ('heart-eyes' and 'so now you're a comedy team')
lucy getting to show off how she's matured and grown since her time afloat, properly reading the situation with joe, talking him down, not panicking even with a gun trained on her and him getting violent with her, and handling the situation almost singlehandedly
kate showing her growth and experience as an agent, coming in with the timely rescue to save both lucy and joe (taking out the guy who hurt/tried to kill lucy ala lucy taking out andrea medina, whistler being able to prevent Lucy from looking like the bloody mess she was in 1x20)
1x20 parallel with the tables turning on lucy, she's the one getting scolded this time for going off on her own, whistler's the one getting upset at her for almost getting killed and fussing over lucy using the compress (an elbow to the face eliciting the same frustrated reaction as blood, head trauma, and a cracked rib makes me feel something). funny enough, both times their arguing is interrupted by their bosses arriving. while lucy talks up kate to curtis even tho she's mad at her, kate doesn't even attempt to hide her offense from tennant at lucy waltzing back into danger and leaving her ice pack. (also Whistler being so annoyed and concerned for lucy's safety she gets involved as backup on a case she and fbi have absolutely no role in Lol)
whistler hugging a crying lucy at the crime scene in front of their colleagues, whistler in nightwatch 1 having to stand there helplessly, watching lucy cry because lucy doesn't want her to talk or come closer, while whistler in nightwatch 2 is allowed to do exactly that to comfort lucy after her emotionally grueling day.
in 1x20, they end the episode separated with lucy walking away while 2x20 ends with lucy moving closer to kate at the crime scene and at the bar
kate spends the latter half of s1 chasing after lucy, trying to win her back. kate can't go after lucy at the end of 1x20 because of injury and lucy telling her not to say anymore, obviously asking for space and distance so kate's left there alone. after they finally talk in a roundabout interrogation (lol) in 1x21, they're friends again, and they're supposed to move on, kate finally stops chasing.
then we get to 2x20 and kate spends the episode trailing after lucy (she's still going): she heads to pearl to see lucy on nightwatch, goes after lucy after she walks out of the conference room to make sure she has backup, goes after lucy when she's in trouble on the boat, and walks up behind her after joe leaves. lucy handles a lot of the case on her own, but kate is always right around the corner in case she needs her.
lucy being on unsteady footing all of nightwatch 1 because she just came from a date and is now suddenly thrust into a case with her ex, had to see her looking hot at the beach, had to see the aftermath of said ex getting beaten up by a trained assassin knowing how close she was to dying, had to hear about a promotion her ex turned down to stay close to her and throwing everything she knew and assumed about their relationship for a loop, had to somehow pull herself together after finding out her ex did in fact care and was serious about them and still broke her heart anyway. lucy is hit with nonstop emotional blow after emotional blow and can't trust her feelings or her judgement. being around whistler just makes it worse so she puts some distance between them, moving back when she steps closer, leaving when she tries to talk.
lucy in nightwatch 2 is steady and sure the entire episode. she starts the case off in 1x20 rattled, but she starts off 2x20 happy and excited, she's in a good stable relationship that leaves no room for doubts, is able to trust her feelings and intuition about joe, is able to appeal emotionally to him and when she finally does let herself cry at the end, she can lean on whistler, wants nothing more than to be around whistler. whistler's a steady pillar for her in nw2 vs. the unsteady, emotional minefield she was in nw1
both cases in 1x20 and 2x20 leave lucy feeling terrible for different reasons. in the former, kate is the cause, the lingering pain from the breakup + seeing kate hurt + finding out about the promotion are a deadly mix for lucy. in the latter, kate isn't the problem, she's the support. she's there physically and emotionally for lucy, doesn't hesitate to tell her she was right and how proud she is of her while in 1x20 its more implied when she mentions medina's takedown, like kate is afraid she might say too much, push too far. the ending of 1x20 leaves both lucy and kate emotionally devastated, lucy finally letting all her emotions out and then steeling herself to go on a date to try to move on and forcing herself to have fun. at the end of 2x20, she goes on a date with whistler, nothing's forced (except whistler wanting them to diligently follow the script LMAO) lets herself be silly and do things like steal whistlers fries, breaking character, both of them laughing at themselves, being free and easy and comfortable
zero stakes because we're two strangers in a bar and youre only here visiting from dc so this'll be a fun hookup vs. zero stakes because this literally a zero stakes non-anniversary, we're just having fun on a date, reliving a moment neither of us knew would change our lives forever, in a comfortable, committed relationship we never thought we would have, sharing an intimacy we couldn't have before. zero stakes because ill never see you again vs. zero stakes because I love you and us and nothings going to change that
whistler being all touchy feely at the bar, leaning in super close and touching her hand, relaxed and comfortable vs. whistler in 1x10 still visibly trying to let her guard down even in an exclusive pop-up restaurant with almost no chance of seeing anyone from work, and still surprising lucy by reaching out across the table to hold her hand, being so hush-hush about their relationship that even something as simple as that in public was a big milestone for them. a whistler who's in love and not shy to show it vs. a whistler still trying to come to terms with everything and make the leap
whistler being hesitant about most of lucy's date ideas in s1 to now being super excited to recreate their first meeting, being on board with lucy's unconventional non-anniversary celebration, being able to let go and have fun with her unabashedly
lucy meeting whistler the first time at the bar she'd go to compartmentalize and be seen as a regular person outside of her job, whistler who was so remarkable she helped lucy forget for an entire weekend vs. lucy going back to that bar with whistler, winding down after a tough case and having someone shoulder that weight with her, someone who's ready to comfort her and stand with her (whether it's reassuring that lucy did the right thing or reassuring her that this date idea isn't silly and is actually super romantic), who also knows how to take her mind off it, whos helping her through it with love and compassion because she knows the job, understands the struggle she's going through, was there for her during the final confrontation and wants to be there for her now. lucy doesnt have to hide or swerve around her job, she can be open about it and share it with whistler, whistler who met lucy tara retail worker or lucy tara finance broker first, whistler who wanted things to be professional, but ended up falling for lucy anyway, whistler who's always seen and known lucy the person underneath it all. recreating their first meeting is a cute non-anniversary date idea, but it also helps separate them from the case and the day they've had, let's lucy be lucy from hawaii and whistler be kate from dc and lets them live in a happy moment from the past with all the perks of their present day relationship
I think Yasmine sums it up perfectly in the interview she gave about the episode: “That was fun to play in this scene especially because since it is a recreation, it’s the trying to be how we used to be and playing all of that out. But then clearly obviously we have a relationship now and just seeing the transformation from where I know Kate was to where Kate is and the fact that she even wants to do this is, I just think it’s so adorable and it’s so cute and Lucy loves that.”
how far they've come indeed
also kai trying to eat his spam musubi and lucy trying to eat her junk food and getting interrupted by a person (johnson and whistler) and then the case is the best parallel of all time
#ncis hawaii#kacy#lucy tara#kate whistler#it took me a few days but the ep finally hit me LMAO#og nightwatch is still my queen but nightwatch 2 is a very close second#nightwatch 2 electric boogaloo was so fun i owe amy my life#i was kinda neutral about the 2n3d backstory before but now youll have to pry it out of my cold dead hands#also lucy being worried that kate was upset about the non-anniversary thing turning into kate being so excited to celebrate it ill scream#I don't usually readmore these but jesus this got long I feel like i said the same thing 10 times LMAO#its funny bc nw1 kate cant do anything right and in nw2 kate checks every box perfectly#some of this isnt even parallels some of this is just me obsessing over stuff#like the whistler following lucy thing might be a stretch but come on LOL its cute#2x19 whistlers glued to lucys side 2x20 shes following behind her when is she gonna be in front of her kissing her again-
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on today's episode of Hashing Out Concepts Theatre, i spent a while today while waiting for my new fridge/freezer to be installed after my previous one died and i lost all my food hashing out a bunch of concepts for another game idea i have. (rest assured i'm not actually working on it as a game yet i just like to bash out a framework for things every now and then to make my brain do happy chemicals lmao)
putting all of this stuff under a cut since it's a bunch of images and also in case people aren't interested XD
i am regrettably a huge fan of comic books (mostly DC) and i've seen a couple of comic book inspired IFs popping up lately, though when it comes to my own interest, i'm definitely more into a straight interpretation of a comic book universe than a more. the boys-style universe - i'm into the camp lol, not so much the grim and gritty stuff. (though that's just my own personal preference)
anyway the idea behind That's Just Super is something that i really like about certain comics - giving the villains more of a purpose and rounded existence than just existing to be in somebody's rogue's gallery. the joker's angry defence of the batfamily from various other DC evil forces, lex luthor's furious resistance against brainiac alongside superman because it's His planet, damn it, DOOM throwing in with the heroes in every second marvel event comic... i really like stories where villains and evil characters don't always make the Most Evil choice just Because, but have clear and explainable motivations that sometimes bring them into what we'd consider a 'good' alignment because unlike in d&d, there's no real such thing as a concrete moral alignment.
(this is my banner design for it)
the basic idea is that an inexplicable cosmic event removes all of the superheroes from the planet, leaving it vulnerable to attack by evil mindflayer style aliens - unless the supervillains who remain are able to band together despite their more unpredictable, less cooperative natures and save the planet in the heroes' absence. after all... if aliens take over the earth, the villains can't take it over themselves.
here's my fun little UI design idea lmao...
the other major thing about That's Just Super that i've been hashing out is the pc. the basic idea is that you pick your villain identity from a list but you get to customise their like. birth name and secret identity, while the villain identity comes with its own name, costume, and set history (including occasionally past romantic encounters). i like playing around with the way that IF works with the idea of mcs and customisable mcs so i just thought it'd be a fun twist... it also allows me to create nice drama by having set occurrences in the past lol.
so i did some profiles for the nine villain options - three each of the DC triad of tech/metahuman/magic origin. they're all based on a specific kind of villain archetype, and i really tried to limit myself to ones where i could definitely pin down more than one specific influence so it didn't end up like me just making too many analogues haha... even if some of the influences are probably pretty obvious.
weirdly i haven't even Thought about ROs yet since i've been so focussed on the pc... maybe i'll play around with the partially set background idea even more and only have 1 possible RO for each villain choice or something. maybe a couple that you can romance as anybody... not sure. (talionis could definitely have a messy broken romance with his superhero for example)
apologies that readability isn't great but these are mostly just made for me lmao
#posts from the mortal world#dc give me a job writing for you please... jk i'm not moving to the us (not that they'd have me anyway)#long post.#i think i'm so funny for that joke of labelling the reset button a joke about time manipulation lmfao#but isn't that perfectly on the nose for a comic book themed IF?? that's what i tell myself anyway#absolutely Could Not Stand the infinity saga honestly. for Many reasons.#but in regards to this stuff in particular. every villain just threw in with thanos or immediately got killed off... boring!!!!#the only person who is allowed to be Interesting is loki apparently#and the fact that they cut. Doom holding the gauntlet with all the fucking gems on it for as long as he did from the story??? Crime#All of the crimes. go to Story Jail marvel. doom will get his just rewards for you screwing him over like that some day!!!! doom is!!!!!!!!#man also just yesterday i was thinking to myself that i Need to reread in blackest night and i So do. i'm such a lantern girlie...#that's right i like d&d i like m:tg and i like comic books. bow before my supreme embarrassing taste#it has been a Chaotic couple of days if you can't tell. i haven't slept nearly enough and i. Cried when all my food got spoiled#at least the new fridge works fine so far though...
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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random question, do yall have any gender/sexuality headcanons for skyblock npcs? :]
#my inbox is open if you would like to share with the class#only a handful of you play the game but more than a handful of you know about it so like. surely there's something right#i have many but i wanna hear other takes. perfectly fine to contradict my own btw im curious!#im feeling particularly prideful tonight and it is 100% bc i've just been laying around sick thinking abt the month#got a lot on my mind. wanted to doodle earlier but dont feel super great#definitely better but not great. dont wanna get locked into A Task and not move for a couple hours kjhfgk#so i've just been scrolling and occasionally doing something else. like typing rn i am typing wahoo#gotta cancel my dentist appointment... AGAIN >:(#these cavities are gonna fucking rot man 😭#that's twice i've gotten sick the day before an appointment. but this time it has a fever so it's Real Sickness#last time it was just allergies#chat
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recently pressed flowers + leaf !!!!!
#saw this one on the floor so perfectly cut ??? she looks like a bouquet!!!#a few days ago i plucked like a chunk of really pretty purple flowers and walked like a good few miles with them in hand but then i got#v embarrassed and shy about the stares i was getting so i just#...gently set them on the sidewalk five minutes away from home anyway i wonder if thats whst happened here too bc they look#too perfectly cut i wonder if someone saw the purple flowers on the sidewalk and asked themselves the same question too it's always#sm better picking flowers off the floor rather than plucking them bc i think there's smth so beautiful about my being here at this moment#right now coinciding with however way this flower came to fall in my path !!! do u get it okay im done now theyre pretty im pretty sure#this dictionary smells of moldy plant but ive been desensitized to it by now
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mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad & mad &
#I hate how whenever I look forward to something fun I always think half-jokingly haha I wonder what one thing will go wrong because#there's always something#and then. every time. something goes wrong. and my brain is like yep we still have no precedent for things going the way we wish them to#and it makes a little note in some mental excel spreadsheet of a long line of things that went wrong when we wanted them to go right#and this is why I go to therapy lol#yeah it doesn't happen all the time yeah it's usually small things that don't really matter yeah I know things never work out ~perfectly~#but. but still.#I'm sure this is all fine and it won't be as big of a deal as I think...but I had been so looking forward to having a good day#and I did! I have two days off for fall break and my mum and I went to a bakery and had gâteau au yaourt and croissants#and we went to some bookstores and I got the iliad (belovedest) so it was a good day!! but why does it have to end in tears#why do I have to suddenly be reminded that I have one foot in the chronically ill pool#why do other people get to have their dreams come true seemingly so easily while I have to fight for everything#oh well. at least I'm home and don't have to worry about getting dinner. and we have ice cream. and I still have the iliad.#and I am still blessed.#it's *sighs* fine.#earl crow ramblings
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commi by my sweet zennie !! @saexy /ᐠ. .ᐟ\ฅ 🍊
#SOBSOBSOB sueno !! SUENO !! ^_^#zennie did such a beautiful job :<#look at da kitties !! ehe !! <3#my pwecious suo >//< my cute boyfie !! mwuah !!#I WUV YOU ZENNIE !! T^T thank you SHOOO much for dis cuteness !! <3#i just wanna smooch him all day long !! my cutie eyepatch patootie !! ^o^#ehe sweet love <3 dat is exactly right !! zennie u captured me n hayato SHOOOOO perfectly !!#we gots da sweetest love in da WORLD !! <3#will look at dis forever and ever !! :>#ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི˚˖ sueno ⊹ ݁ ˖
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guh
#I feel disgusting and I can’t tell if I feel bad from the hasn’t showered + sleeping all day + hasn’t moved + hasn’t eaten anything combo#or if I’m genuinely getting sick#and I want to give a quick shoutout to my dad’s coworker Erica. fuck you what the hell were you thinking (you probably weren’t)#hope it was fucking worth it!!!!!#I don’t know how much more of this I can fucking take at this point I’d rather just accept the 20 years of life I got and be done with it#just end it all right on my birthday for a perfectly clean 20 years. maybe even get it down to the minute#ok well I’m not going to do that but can something please go my way can this curse end do I have to do something bc idk what I did#anyways I should probably eat today it’s already 11:36pm#tho tbh I’m not even really hungry#sorry for unprompted rambling btw
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i'm so combustible today
#boink#jsyk i made this post and then dropped and shattered my favorite mug#actually not a big deal at all but#fuck#yeah#it is stupid how important that dumb little cup was to me#it is stupid how attached i get to physical objects and things#there is no emotional significance of that random mug#other than i use it all the time#and it was perfectly shaped and designed and sized to fit just the right amount of milk and coffee#and it made me happy to look at and hold and use#i mean i use it every day#it's my mug#it's a part of my routine#it's as important as the coffee#which is just fucking ridiculous if i really think about it#but i've always been weirdly touchy abt the uses of things#i had my tea mug and then it got un tea mug-ed bc my sibling kept using it even though i asked them not to#i have my spoons and forks and butter knives and plates and my special bowl for different purposes#and i /know/ it's all completely redundant#and it's always vaguely upsetting when ppl take my stuff and use it for other purposes#but now my probably most important cup is completely broken and there is no amount of washing and storing that can rejuvenate it#so#:)#i think i might be the worst person ever
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shoutout to my dad, whose 4 other children are all at camp and who now has to listen to me talking about weird internet things he doesn't understand all the time
#he asked me about my dipper hat and#it was shabbos#so i opened the book of bill to the page with the bazillion alternate dippers and mabels to show him who originally wears the hat#blast babbles#shenanigans#we went golfing and shooting within the last 7 days so i feel perfectly within my rights to infodump incomprehensibly#i got a hot bullet casing in my bra
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