#a date?

[fangfuckingtastic]

You, me the back of my truck, lights out, 3 AM.

Two big ass pies. Flavor of your choice.

Do we have a date _(:3 」∠)_?

fuck yes! i'd kill for some blueberry pie. circumstance's a bit shady but oh well.

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[charlesoberonn]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[afterthelambs]

"In another life I would have really liked just dancing and making inventions with you"

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

I see no red flags here

[daftpatience]

this messed up vintage cat sewing pattern has tormented me since i saw it & like some other folks have done in that post - i tried my hand at tweaking the pattern to resemble the illustration (and my personal tastes) a little more. i've ended up with this. i bestow it upon you nice folks now 👐

(update 2, added instructions & it's also on my Kofi!)

go forth and make weird little beanbag kittens! pls show me if you do!

[okthatsgreat]

dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

[ayo-edebiri]

#Elmo's so real

[aznisure]

something something digital footprint

[evilgoodguys]

...clearly, he's not jealous.

[paintedimagery]

This is stupid, I spent too long on this lmao

[mikufanclub]

silly idea

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[pangur-and-grim]

one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.