#a commission from last year that I never got to share here before

[addamvelaryon]

Addam, The Sea Snake’s Heir

Artist: Dottea (twt/bsky)

[i-like-writing-stuff]

never changing [ five hargreeves x reader ]

a/n: hi y’all! it’s been a hot minute since i’ve been on here, but after the absolute shit show that season 4 was, some sparks ignited in me to write up anything to take my mind off it 🙌

its not anything crazy, just fluff and banter since i haven’t written anything in years so it may be as poorly redacted as this season lmao

summary: five and y/n attend their niece birthday party together, yet separate

“Happy birthday, little Gracie!” You smiled widely, trying not to drop the wrapped present box as the six year old girl jumped into your arms, “Oh my gosh, look at you! You’re just getting prettier by day, aren’t you?”

You had just got off work in a hurry to make your appearance at the little girl’s birthday party at a decent time, in spite of the amount of paperwork you managed to bury yourself in lately. You knew how much it would have meant for the celebrated one to show up and you couldn’t bear to let her down, especially on her birthday.

After spending most of your life working for the Commission, and then a decent amount of time exhausting yourself in trying to stop multiple Apocalypses, your last six years have been pretty quiet as a lawyer. You really wanted to get out of the whole assassin thing, but at the same time couldn’t exactly move on from the thrill of the work field. Your career as a lawyer took off really well these past years, but inevitably it came along with the cost of always being stuck at work, so whenever your niece got the chance to see you, she was truly enthusiastic.

“Auntie Y/N!” She wrapped her tiny arms around your neck, engulfing you into a tight hug, “You are here!”

Nonetheless, these six years have been truly and undeniably the most peaceful time of your life for as long as you could remember.

“You literally saw each other the other day,” Five raised a brow, watching you and the celebrated one act as if you hadn’t seen each other in years.

You and the little girl shared a look, before rolling your eyes and turning to glare at the man next to you. Ever since Grace learned how to talk, you and her would gang up on her uncle for your amusement, especially since he was so keen on entertaining the banter.

These past six year have gone by in the blink of an eye, yet at the same time at a slow and steady pace. You spent most of your time working anyway, but still kept in touch with the seven siblings you’d grown to love.

Some in different ways than others.

“Uncle Five, you’re always more excited than me to see Aunt Y/N,” Gracie waved him off, making you burst out laughing, “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you anyway.”

“What is a good look on him anyway?” You smirked, making the little girl laugh, as Five swept her into his arms;

“Okay, munchkin, it’s your birthday today, but tomorrow I’m going back to bullying you,” He joked, causing you both to laugh, before the two shared a hug before you, “You’re lucky your gift has no return policy.”

The party had already started by the time you made it there. The playground was huddled by other kids around Grace’s age, along with their parents. The music was playing loudly over the laughter of children and you were pretty sure that most of the family had already arrived. It was not the most ideal gathering, but you tried your best to keep in touch with most of the family to your best capabilities.

“Y/N, I’m so glad you could make it!” Luther smiled, appearing from the crowd of guests, immediately giving you a big hug as his niece was still wrapped around Five, “Haven’t seen you since Thanksgiving!”

“Big shot lawyer doesn’t always have the time to stay in touch with family, huh?” Diego teased you, following suit, as you rolled your eyes, dropping off his daughter’s gift in his hands.

“Big shot delivery driver doesn’t know the phone works both ways, huh?” You smirked, putting your hands on your hips.

Diego laughed out loud as he gave you a hug, always in the mood for a back and forth short banter with you. After all, you truly were family, even if you didn’t always have the time to be present in the Hargreeves’ day to day lives. You may have met them in the original timeline in 2019, when you accidentally time traveled with your former partner at the Commission, Five, but after all you’ve been through, you didn’t need to have grown up together or be blood related to be considered that. And you truly were grateful for each and every single one of them, in spite of the many differences over the years.

After everything that’s happened six years ago at Hotel Oblivion, everyone went their separate ways. Allison was back with her daughter while trying to further her acting career and also help Klaus stay on the sober line, Viktor had moved to Canada where he opened a bar, Diego and Lila had three kids, Luther was “professionally dancing”, Ben had some run-ins with the law and Five, ironically enough, was working for the CIA.

“Well, you two are as annoying as always,” Ben told you and his brother, making Diego roll his eyes as he walked towards the gift table to set down your present.

“Please try to stay out of prison at least for the remainder of the year,” You joked with the man, making him roll his eyes as he hugged you loosely, “There’s only so much favors I could owe the DA.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Ben groaned, “I don’t even know why they let you work at the law firm since you still look like a prepubescent with no boobs. Even Five got a growth spurt.”

“I sized up to B recently, thank you very much,” You nudged his shoulder, before placing your hands on your chest in an offended manner.

“Okay, Gracie, not a conversation you’d wanna hear,” Five spoke up, putting his niece down, “Your aunt needs to learn some etiquette on how to act around children.”

“Funny coming from you,” You couldn’t help but wave him off.

You didn’t come in with Five at the party, but as fate had it, you did run into him as you were parking your car. He had just gone out to his brother’s dusty van to bring inside some more cookies for the guests. You kept in touch with him as well, but not as often as you would have liked. It’s not all that serious, but given the fact that you were a lawyer still climbing your way to the top and him being a top notch CIA agent, you didn’t exactly have the time to hang out.

At least, not as much as you’d have liked.

Five was watching you with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and his hands in his pockets. He had the same look on his face as always when watching you. He had the same smile when he saw you in combat for the first time during your first mission for the Commission together, the same look in his eyes when you appeared for the first time in 2019 alongside him in your teen bodies. The same posture he had when he met you again in 1963 after months of not seeing each other.

He wore the same love on his face while looking at you when you and the siblings split up after the events at Oblivion.

And never once did you notice that.

Not once in these past six years you let your feelings surface.

“You know Grace is my niece too, right?” He couldn’t drop the small smile even if he wanted to.

“Since when are you such a family man?” You raised a brow, trying to keep a confident composure.

“Oh, something changed in me between the first and third time I traded the world for my siblings,” He lightly shrugged his shoulders, making you roll your eyes at the sarcastic remark.

You two never changed.

“Please, I was there for the twins birth,” You waved him off.

You rarely see Five, and even when you do you always try to act normal, as you do around the rest of the Hargreeves. Everyone tried to get you two together at first, since the apocalypse was over and there was no reason for you to not get together, right?

You really wished it was that easy. In hindsight, maybe it was. But you couldn’t take any chances in losing Five forever if something were to go wrong. Maybe some would see it as something stupid, or as if you wasted so many years, but to you- mentally, you were almost seventy, while physically nineteen. You had so much time ahead of you now, all that mattered was to get a stable career first.

Five let a chuckle escape, shaking his head in disbelief, as he looked at the floor for a couple of seconds. When he looked back at you, you tried to keep your composure. You couldn’t help but feel pathetic that after all these years, your heart still skipped a beat whenever he’d look at you.

“You’re doing that thing again where you forget that some other people are still around, guys,” Luther raised his hand, grabbing your attention once again.

“I got bored of watching seventy year old virgins,” Ben shrugged his shoulders, “I’m gonna go get shitfaced.”

“Always a delight seeing you, Benjamin,” Five said, as Luther followed the ex-tentacle boy suit to make re he was not about to actually get drunk;

“This is a six year old’s birthday party!”

You giggled, watching the two brothers speed away while arguing amongst the kids in the crowd. When your eyes laid back on Five, who was intently watching you, you couldn’t help but feel a small blush creep its way in your cheeks.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Spit it out, Hargreeves.”

“I said it’s nothing!”

“Fuck you.”

“Why?”

You watched him dumbfounded for a couple of seconds because of the only answer he could come up with, before walking away, hoping he would follow you.

When he did try to keep up with you, you looked away to hide the proud smile. Even after all these years, things were still the same with him. He was still so eager to spend time with you, he was still smiling at you and entertaining your conversation.

“Aunt Y/N, Uncle Five, come play in the ball pit!” Gracie ushered you from afar, already tucked in the plastic colorful balls.

“You heard the birthday girl!” You smiled, grabbing his hand to drag Five after you.

Even after all these years he would instantly lock his fingers with yours.

[jjjjisun]

My Playmate, My Sister (Part 3)

Hanni X Irene X Male Reader | 14429 words

TW: Incest

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Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

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Buy me a Ko-Fi.

Book commissions here.

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Hanni was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen; more than that, she was smoking hot. Her adorable facial features, soft blonde hair, fantastic personality, and many other attributes made her beautiful. Her breath-taking body, her breasts, that sexy way she walked, the way she teased me, that's what made her hot.

Hanni had returned from "school" only a few weeks before, and before she did, she had been, first and foremost, my sister. Now, that hadn't changed; we still shared that same love for each other, and I felt I needed to protect her as I always had. However, after the last two nights, we shared, sharing each other, and things deepened between us, and we agreed it was for the better. Hanni had always been a great sister, and we had always been very open with each other; talking about our romantic interests and often touching lightly upon the involved sexual activity was rarely out of the question. But this was a new type of openness; she was my sister and a fantastic lover.

I had seen Hanni on the cover of Playboy, her first shoot with them happening to catch my glance as I walked through a local convenience store. I had seen her in gallery upon gallery of subsequent photo shoots for the magazine, completely naked and sprawled out for me to see. I knew it wasn't just for me, and so did Playboy because they were planning on making her Playmate of the Year for all the success her nakedness had brought them. But when Hanni got home, what I saw was just for me; her sexiness and the perfection she'd brought to the pages of the world-famous magazine was within my grasp. Something clicked between the two of us, and whether it was the way I could not take my eyes off of her or the security and comfort she found in being in her brother's arms, I do not know. However, I know one thing now: I am the luckiest brother in the world.

It isn't all so romantic; having the cute little playmate around me and constantly recalling the feeling of being inside her and the desire to do so again is far from that. But can I be blamed? I mean, it's like everything she does plays right into my desire for her. From how she squeezes my leg as she lifts herself out of the car to the bouncy strut she pulls off as she crosses the causeway onto the boat... like I said, I couldn't take my eyes off her. As we made our way to the sailboat we'd agreed to take a trip on when our parents interrupted what was going to be a sex-filled week for the both of us, even the traveling outfit she wore had me at half-mast all day long. As I watched her checking out the boat from top to bottom, squealing at its more luxurious features, I took her in greedily.

That first day, she wore jean shorts that could have been painted on. Her cute butt taunted me as she leaned over the side rail and looked down at the cool blue water. If our parents and their friends hadn't been right there, I would have come up behind her and let us both feel my hips against hers as I pinned her against the rail. Above the shorts was a cropped, loose, and transparent top that hung over one shoulder at an angle, displaying the soft skin of her shoulder and neck and, of course, the sexy, muscular midsection that I couldn't get enough of. Under the top was a pink bikini, or maybe it was a bra... either way, it pushed her breasts up just so and even though I'd held them naked and complete in my hands, I felt like I'd never seen them before hidden underneath layers of clothing I just wanted to tear off.

She knew it too. Hanni smiled at me with every chance she got, and even wiggled her butt at me when she knew the others weren't looking. A few times, she'd catch my eye and then reach down to adjust her top, shaking her beautiful tits in place and pushing them up further; I had to sit down and catch my breath when she did that. She spent the few hours we took preparing the boat as an opportunity to drive me crazy over her. By the time we finally cast off and were leaving the harbor it was all I could do not to grab her tiny frame in my arm and drag her downstairs to fuck her silly for all the trouble she'd put me through.

But we finally cast off and got out to sea, and things calmed down a bit. We sat on soft, colorful cushions in the stern of the boat with the sail billowing above us and a cool breeze brushing back the wisps of hair that had fallen from behind Hanni's ear. Hanni draped my arm over her innocently, and we chatted about everything under the sun with the adults. When it came to Hanni's college life, I had to play it extremely cool, knowing that she hadn't told anyone from home about her work with Playboy. But we made it through and chatted as the luxurious sailboat cut through the ocean waves and out further and further until land was only a dot on the horizon.

Hanni was hands-down the hottest female under the Pacific sun that day if you asked me, but that wasn't really a fair contest, and another woman aboard was giving her some competition. The man my parents had been invited aboard was an old work friend of my dad's and his new wife. My dad and his friend Jinwoo were successful partners at a law firm and had done very well for themselves, including the women they had married. My parents were getting older, though still in great shape. Jinwoo was much the same: a good-looking guy with a kind disposition and salt-and-pepper gray hair that, combined with the apparent wealth, had brought him Irene. Irene seemed to be a great wife for him, loving and trustworthy, but obviously, that wasn't the only reason he'd chosen her for the long haul.

Irene was young, probably only in her early thirties, and didn't even look that. She had long, wavy black hair. Jinwoo was proud of marrying her, and I'd heard him boasting about his sex life with the gorgeous brunette to my dad on more than one occasion - sure, he was a generous guy, but as money often does to people, he was also kind of a tool. Still, I thought 'good for him' as I saw him not-so-innocently holding his wife against him in their place across from me. I might have even found myself desiring her if I didn't have the soft skin of my sister pressed against my shirtless torso, reminding me that there was nothing more desirable than her. When Jinwoo playfully grabbed at Irene's thigh, I glanced over at Hanni, and when our eyes met, I knew their antics were turning her on.

Irene stood up at one point (I couldn't help but notice that she had a great body as I saw her stretch in front of us) and invited Hanni to help her get drinks:

"Hey girlfriend, want to help me throw some margaritas together for everybody?"

In her usually bubbly tone, Hanni responded, "Sure, Irene, lead the way."

As they headed below deck I watched both of their bikini covered asses swish back and forth on their way to the hatch and then disappear. When they returned, I was blessed with the view of their front. Irene was not as alluring to me as Hanni, but she was just right in her sexy way. Hanni must have caught me checking out Irene because she gave me a squinty, knowing look as she sat down and handed me the slushy drink. We chatted some more, and Hanni kept up her antics. She scooted closer into me and licked her lips when I looked at her; she was unbearable.

By the time Irene suggested that we drop anchor and go for a swim as the sun set, I was completely stiff and struggling to position my penis so that it didn't bare itself for anyone to see. Hanni knew of course, and even wrapped as much of her hand around it as she could when we were the last ones on deck before she hopped in the water. I was going to teach her a lesson that night for sure.

We waded in the water, with more back-and-forth chatter and a floating tray of drinks between us. Everyone stayed pretty warm in the cool water, with all the alcohol being passed around. Hardly anyone noticed when Hanni challenged me to a race and took off before I could say yes, heading for the front of the boat. I caught up to her and grabbed her ankle, pulling her tiny frame back and feeling it brush along as I passed her.

She screamed, "Cheater!" as I swam to the front of the boat and made contact with it before she could. I looked at her with boastful pride as she paddled the rest of the distance to me, defeated. I grabbed her hand and helped her float next to me; she was tired from the swim.

"That's not fair," Hanni complained.

"I'll tell you what's not fair..."

Now, we were concealed from the view of our parents, Irene and Jinwoo, at the front of the boat. I could still hear them laughing and bantering as I lifted Hanni's hands over her head to a bar in the railing. She held them there, lifted ever so slightly out of the water.

"What's not fair is all the teasing you've been doing all day and the fact that I could do nothing about it. That's not fair."

She was stretched out in front of me, and her legs wrapped around me, helping me to float there and pulling me closer to her. So much skin...so much of her flawless body was on display for me, and her beautiful stomach, the subtle protrusion of her ribcage from her lifted arms...I was in heaven.

"What will you do about it, bro?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

I took both hands and planted them firmly on either side of her waist, sending them upwards and hearing her breathe out sexily in appreciation. It was answer enough for her and she approved further when I pushed the tip of my cock against her mound. Even covered in hers and my bathing suits, it was apparent that her head was indenting lightly into her, and if it wasn't, then her involuntary gasp proved it.

"Oh God... this is so naughty with them right over there....just like when you..." I thrust again "Ooohh Oppa..... just like when you fucked me in the car last night."

"Just like I'm going to tonight..." I told her, holding my hands over her breasts and massaging them.

"Mmmm, how about right now?" she tested.

I looked into her eyes, searching to see whether she was serious. I mean, our little secret fuck in the car was risky in itself, but only 30 feet away in broad daylight were four people that could catch us and make for a very awkward sailing trip. She looked serious.

"I don't know about that..." I said.

I knew we were taking too many risks; there was so much to lose, and I didn't think I could stand having Hanni any way other than she was to me now. Hanni knew too, but she seemed too entranced in our foreplay to give it much thought. It may have been risky, but her body just felt terrific in my greedy hands, and Hanni was more than loving the attention. I kept repeating the pressure between her pussy lips and Hanni cooed a few times at the stimulation of her thin bottoms grinding against her clit. My resolve was chipping away by the second...

I heard one of the adults laugh loudly at a joke on the other side of the boat, and it caught Hanni's attention. As she looked in their direction, I promptly took advantage of her distraction and swiped simultaneously at the strings behind her neck and torso. Hanni scoffed and tried to reach for her sui,t but I was too fast. I locked one hand around the fingers of her left hand, holding it immutably against the rail above. The other pulled her top away so fast she couldn't even come close to grabbing it back with her right hand.

"You are ridiculous," she said, looking at me sideways, but I was hardly paying attention.

With her hand over her head her tits hung spectacularly, glistening from the water and high on her chest. I could see her muscles stretching to hold her up, from her flat tummy that disappeared into the water below up to her neck. Dear God, I'll never see a more beautiful sight than that in my entire life.

"Like what you see? Mmmm..." she sighed when I took her hanging breast into my hand and caressed it gently with the tips of my fingers. My fingernails grazed the skin, and then I just held her breast in my hand, feeling her goose bumps against my palm with my fingers on her perky pink nipple. I'd never felt anything so amazing before I swore to myself, and this wasn't the first time I'd had my hands wrapped around her perfect chest. Hanni just kept getting better and better, and I wanted to make love to her right there with our parents and their friends so dangerously close.

"Jesus Hanni, I swear you're the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."

"Awww... you're so sweet ...mmmhh... And just think, I'm all yours..." she whispered, positively glowing from my compliment. She probably knew how I felt before I'd said it; my cock had grown even more enormous and complicated as I continued to prod at her covered slit with it gently. Hanni maneuvered her free hand so that her palm lay against my strong abs, and then she pushed it downward and painfully slowly. Under the waistband of my shorts, it went down further...until only her thumb and forefinger were touching the base of my stiff shaft.

I cringed; the feeling of her tiny hand on my steel-hard rod was phenomenal. I brought my head down to her chest, holding one of her soft breasts up and taking her nipple into my lips.

"Oooh, be careful! I'm really sensitive there," she shrieked. I backed off only slightly, trailing my tongue around the tiny areola before circling the erect little nub. Hanni was breathing harder, and it made me happy for her to enjoy my worship of her chest. As I finally took the whole nipple into my mouth and then sucked at it gently, Hanni wrapped around as much of my cock as she could get her hand on in one swift motion.

"I'm sensitive there too, ahhhh," I mocked. As I said it, Hanni firmly stroked up and down on my shaft, wrapping her palm around my head before she returned her encircling fingers to my base once again. We were like teenagers; neither of us could get enough of each other fast enough as we'd been able to display painfully little affection all day. I kept sucking at erect nipple, and more aggressively now. Eventually, I began pinching it between my front teeth just enough to get her calling my name between deep breaths:

"... oh, Oppa..... If you keep doing that... ugh... I think I might..."

I was still grinding the tip of my cock into the depression in her bottoms that my efforts were making. My tip was now just entering her, impeded by our clothing but pleasing due to the cool water around us. She ensured I was lined up just right as she slid her hand up and down my prodding staff. She was loving it and as her panting picked up and I was stimulating both her nipples and clit I knew that I'd send her into climax soon. Hell, a few minutes more, and I would probably release a gallon of sperm into the water between us.

"gotta be.... OOohhhhH..... quiet," she was tryin tog talk herself into keeping silent but wasn't succeeding all that well. Her attention to my cock faltered but I couldn't have cared less; the gorgeous little playmate's orgasm was all I was focused on and I felt I owed it to her to...

"Y/N....... Hanni!" he sounded concerned. My dad was calling out our names from the other side of the boat. I hadn't even considered that they would worry about us after we had swum off and not returned.

"Yeah, Dad?" I answered, my head settled just an inch or less inside my sister; she was still heaving and didn't stop her attempts to keep my cock massaging her pussy.

"Where's Hanni?" He was yelling over the boat.

"I'm here, Daddy!" I was honestly surprised to hear her pull it together enough to respond.

"What are you guys doing? I don't want you drowning on my watch.

"We were just...mmmh," she was still so aroused and had only slightly come down. "Playing daddy... jeez we're not kids anymore." She squeezed my shaft as she said it.

"Alright, well, come on back over. We've got margaritas waiting for you!" He had no idea.

Hanni slumped into my arms, and I held us up with a hand still gripping the boat. She managed a few more frustrated thrusts against me before she gave in and looked into my eyes. They were so beautiful, even with disappointment for being held back and having been so close. A deep and mesmerizing combination of cool grey and lively green, they peered into me, and I was lost in her. Hanni's naked chest felt terrific against my chest and shoulders, bringing me out of my haze. We cuddled for a few too-short moments while Hanni accepted that I couldn't give her what she wanted unless we wanted to be found out.

She turned around, and I helped her wrap the tiny bikini top back around her, happily pausing to make sure the cups were supporting her breasts in the right way. My hands took their last chance to hold on to the pliable flesh before tying her strings and taking her back to the water. She shot me a glance that told me she knew exactly what I was after and then headed toward our parents. Even how she swam back, cutting through the water like a true athlete, added to her complete and utter prowess and perfection.

We returned to the circle and couldn't risk looking too longingly at each other, though we desperately wanted to—and a lot more than that. Nobody was the wiser, I comfortably assured myself. We chatted until the sun was only a glowing memory beneath the horizon and then climbed back on the deck. Hanni grabbed my arm and pulled me back from the group.

"Did you see Irene?" Her eyes were wide.

I thought I had been caught checking out the 30-something-year-old hottie, so I tried to deny it: "What... who... Oh her, yeah, she seems nice."

"No, silly," Hanni rolled her eyes. I know she's hot; I wouldn't blame you if you thought so. I mean, did you see the way she was looking at us?"

"No, I have no idea what you're talking about," I told her, concerned.

"She was staring at me pretty strangely. I think she knows what's up."

"No way, how could she? We were quiet, and it's not like we gave ourselves away before then..."

Just then, like clockwork, Irene popped her head around the corner. We were leaned over the edge of the boat inconspicuously, so it didn't make me nervous that she was seeing us together.

"Hey guys, so you want a burger or a brat?" she asked.

We both told her what we wanted and then relaxed a bit, she was being pretty normal for someone Hanni had just suspected of knowing I'd had my cock rubbing against my sister's pussy.

"Oh, and by the way, honey," she said quieter now, her grin speaking volumes as she said, "I think your top is inside out."

Hanni and I looked down simultaneously, and Irene disappeared around the corner. It wouldn't jump out at you if you weren't looking for it, but it was obvious. Hanni's suit was inside out, and Irene had noticed it after we returned from our little disappearance, hence the weird looks to Hanni.

"Oh god, do you think mom and dad noticed?" Hanni asked with fear in her eyes.

"No way. We got out of the water last, and they would have definitely said something. Irene must have seen it when we were swimming back. Mom and Dad were turned away from us then." I tried to comfort her, but it wasn't really working.

"Do you think she'll tell?" Hanni was only slightly less worried.

"No, she seems too cool to go making accusations like that." I retorted

"That's true, and I swear she was trying to coax something out of me when she told me she thought you were hot earlier."

I smiled widely, and my heart jumped when she said that. It felt pretty good that a beautiful woman like Irene thought I was handsome or 'hot,' as Hanni had said.

"Oh, you're unbelievable," Hanni slapped my arm. "I guess you can have her for the rest of this trip the," she said as she turned away from me.

"Oh, come on, Hanni!" I pulled at her sid,e but she didn't lean into me like she usually did. "She's got nothing on you. I can't walk around this boat without a huge bulge in my shorts with you in that bikini. It's torture not being able to show you and tell you every second how attracted to you I am!"

She looked over her shoulder at me, pouting but clearly affected by my compliment. I slipped my hand around her waist and felt the band of her bikini tickle my fingertips as they brushed over her hipbones. My hand rested on her tummy, only briefly with the knowledge of our shipmates only feet away. Hanni rotated in my grasp, my fingers trailing around her as she turned face to face with me and pushed in close. She glanced toward the direction of our parents, scanning to see if we were in sight of them. When she was satisfied nobody was watching, she stood up on her toes, the soles of her feet stretching and her back arching to bring her to the right height she planted a soft kiss on my lips. She lingered for only a second or two with her eyes looking right at the lips she'd just kissed, and then I watched my sister walk off around the corner and sit down like nothing had happened.

I followed a moment later (after the bulge in my trunks had settled to a manageable level) and sat down across from her. The last rays of sun skimmed over her long legs, crossed sexily and hanging down toward the wooden deck. I can hardly remember what we talked about now for the hour or so we sat around eating and chatting, Hanni's kiss and the many events of the day had me swimming in my own thoughts and fantasies. I imagined that nobody was there, and I crossed the gap between me and my little playmate sister, pinning her against the plush white cushions and ripping off her clothes.

The only thing to distract me was the delicious food...that and the way Irene had handed it off to me. I had been keeping an eye on her as she fidgeted around in front of the hot grill, scratching her leg with a raised foot here and tossing her hair around. She may have been married but she had not lost a hint of her youth and verve. Her swaying about while preparing our dinner already had me at alert, so when I saw her reach down and obviously fluff her tits in her striped bikini I was finding myself growing stiff already. Then she approached me with a plate of food and came closer than I expected; I was frozen to her. She leaned in, handing me the plate and lingering, bent over at the waist and setting it down on the table beside me. Her breasts were hanging magnificently, the flesh struggling against her top. Just before she stood up she caught my gaze and I knew that she'd seen what I was looking at. I'd have been mortified at being caught red-handed if the look in her eyes and upon her lips wasn't one of subtle mischief.

When the sun had gone all the way down, Jinwoo showed us the beautiful television screen that ascended from a hidden panel in the stern of the boat behind the mini-bar. The seats on the deck were also perfectly set up for viewing the movie he was about to put on: some romantic comedy to please the ladies on their first night aboard. Jinwoo opened up one of the cabinets and pulled out some thick, woven blankets, tossing one each to the couples and apologizing to Hanni and I that he didn't have one for each of us.

"They can share honey," Irene interjected quickly, "right guys?"

"Yeah it's no problem, sir, thanks!" Hanni said happily and tossed the blanket over both of us.

"Please Hanni, call me Jinwoo, Mr. makes me feel like my dad," Jinwoo joked while Hanni settled down and spread the blanket out over us.

The sun was all the way down now, and a light breeze ruffled Hanni's hair gently with her head laid upon my shoulder. She giggled when a few strands caught in my mouth and I spit them back out; I nudged her head to get her back. There was only the sound of the movie and the ocean breeze gently clanging a jib or a hook somewhere on deck. It was a beautiful night to be cozied up with my secret playmate, both the most gorgeous girl I'd ever made love to and my very own sister.

I was still half-mast myself from all of Irene's antics and the desire for my sister I'd been unable to act out all day. As I worked my hand to the inside of Hanni's thigh she wasted no time in finding my hardness through the outside of my shorts.

"Hmmmm....." she whispered in my ear, "you really like this movie huh...?"

"Oh Hanni...." I whispered back as Hanni ran her hand over the outline of my shaft and head.

She then began untying my strings, and the anticipation nearly killed me as I felt her working the laces through the holes to allow her easier access. When she'd finally got it she stopped once more to hold my cock through the fabric. All the while her efforts were concealed by the blanket over us. I looked around, nervous. 'God this is dangerous,' I thought, but I was in no state to object. By the time Hanni finally decided to free me from my fabric confines, I was so hard I thought I was going to rip my suit.

She traced her fingers from the bottom of my pole to the top in one, long stroke; her fingers were barely making contact. When she reached the top she equally slowly encircled me with her whole hand and then pushed it downward in one smooth stroke. It was unbelievable, something told me I couldn't even hope to do better myself. Hanni's nimble fingers, cooler than my red-hot member, felt glorious holding me like they were. I looked down to Hanni who's head was still nestled against me. She turned and planted a little kiss on my shoulder before looking back to the television to keep up our pretended innocence.

The pleasure was building and Hanni began to stroke me more hastily. I struggled to keep a straight face in case my parents were to turn around and look our way. They were dozing off together; my worries about them abated. I then turned my gaze toward Irene and Jinwoo. Jinwoo looked to be distracted with his phone and...............Irene was staring right at us.

Hanni was pumping me quickly now, and a close observer would see the blanket shivering atop us. Irene was a close observer; she didn't take her eyes off us as I neared orgasm. I knew I should tell Hanni that we were being watched....I knew....oh God, her hand was just stroking me so amazingly. Hanni had no idea that Irene could see her jerking her brother's cock under the blanket, and I was too consumed with her touch to risking jeopardizing it. I couldn't....I couldn't let this end before Hanni finished me off. Hanni was grinning as she looked directly toward the screen; she loved how she could feel my body flexing and relaxing and my cock pulsing in her hand. She wasn't the only one smiling though; Irene across the deck was watching the two of us, grinning naughtily and ignoring both her husband and the movie.

She made eye contact with me and raised her eyebrows, I knew we were had, but I could tell that Irene was far from giving us up. She licked her lips and stared at the two of us, brother and sister, nuzzled beneath the blanket her husband had given us and doing something very taboo.

I was close now. My hand was rubbing at Hanni's inner thigh more strongly, grasping at her tight skin and brushing back and forth across her covered mound. Hanni stroked faster, faster...up and down went her tiny hand. My balls ached for release and Hanni pumped above them to bring it. She grasped tighter, stimulating my sensitive head when she reached it each time and then jerking it down with the skin clasped in her tender palms. I could feel it coming, seconds away now. I looked from Hanni to Irene, and Irene could see my state as well as Hanni could feel it; her mouth was nearly opened and her eyes searched mine to see me climax.

A few more strokes...just a few more...Hanni was did not stop for a second, stroking me for all I was worth. I began to cum, my body first flexed in that first second or two. Then I felt the semen rising from within me, jetting across me onto Hanni's side. I was only vaguely aware of Irene's eyes upon me as I shot a second time onto my sister's abdomen and thigh. She was directing my cock toward her beneath the blanket, still coaxing more of my sperm out between us. A pump of it caught her thigh and some of mine; still I kept coming. The jizz was spewing onto her hand now, and my sister jerked me a few more times before I had to grab her hand to stop her.

We were both sticky and covered in my load beneath the blanket, but Hanni kept her hand wrapped around my cock, holding me firmly and not letting go. I looked back in Irene's direction; she smiled at me brightly and then scooted closer to her husband, taking her eyes off of us and back to the movie. I couldn't believe how turned on I was that Irene had just watched my sister jerk me off under a blanket like high-school lovers. I would have dwelled on it further, but I was spent. It was then that I felt Hanni wiping us off beneath the blanket with a towel of some sort. She cleaned off our skin, and then my partially softened penis, which was an unbearable feeling in itself. When she finished, she folded up the cloth and wrapped her arm around mine: a rather unassuming gesture if you forget that she'd just caused me to cum all over her. She took my hand in hers and passed me the cloth. I brought it from beneath the blanket and realized it wasn't a towel at all, it was her bottoms.

The thought of her tiny, naked butt and warm, wet pussy beneath the blanket had my cock swelling again. I edged my hand closer again to her inner thigh, nearing her center when she pushed my hand away and whispered.

"Uh uh uh, just hold me and watch the movie..." I pouted when she said that and she caught the look. "We'll pick up where we left off later, I promise."

That took the edge off a little, besides, having her in my arms was promise enough that good things were to come. She scooted close to me under the concealing blanket. She wrapped her spindly legs around me like a monkey and brought my hand around to hold her. She was warm, so warm and yielding to my touch.

"I love you so damn much Hanni." I told her and waited for her to look me in the eyes,

"I know baby bro, I love you too......." she was so quiet and whispering right into my ear now, "....and I want you to fuck me....sooo hard... when we're finally alone."

I grinned from ear to ear. I couldn't wait to do just that. I held Hanni's lithe, slender frame against me for the remainder of the movie, unworried about our parents as they slumbered away. Irene looked over at us occasionally and I saw her smile knowingly at Hanni more than once.

At some point Hanni pulled on my shirt and whispered to me..."She knows..."

We both knew it now, and we were also much more at ease with the way she was handling it. She gently grasped Hanni's knee on her way below deck with her husband, wishing us goodnight. Jinwoo instructed that we shut the TV off before we went below to the bedroom we'd be sharing. Our parents followed them down, leaving Hanni and I alone up top, excitement building in our hearts.

When we were certain they were gone for sure, we locked eyes and just stared. Hanni began edging closer to me and bringing her puffy, lip-gloss frosted lips near mine. She lingered amount before pushing in; we shared a long, tender kiss and our tongues flitted out to teas each other. She was so gentle and her lips felt feather-light and warm against mine. I ran a hand up her slender body, massaging her as it went. We eventually broke the kiss and Hanni settled her head into my lap.

We talked for over an hour. Hanni shared with me her thoughts and feelings on what posing with Playboy would bring in the coming years and I listened attentively. We talked about frivolous things like friends and food, all the while my hands played over her smooth belly and caressed her lovingly. The tone changed when we started talking about us.

"I really love being with you Hanni..." she caught my gaze and smiled lovingly. Her smile was endearing and lovely.

"Are you sure it's not these you love?" she asked, bringing my hand in one motion up to her breast and sliding it immediately under the fabric of her bikini.

As always I was thrilled to be holding her ample breasts in my hand. They were warm, and her skin so incredibly soft. Despite the feeling, however, I gazed at her deeply to let her know how serious I was about how happy she made me.

"I know, I'm only kidding; you make me feel so happy, and so sexy. I hope you won't mind coming out to California with me because I'm not doing it without you."

I was taken aback by the statement. She breathed slowly then, in and out, awaiting my reaction to what she knew had been a serious proposition. My first thought was to protest; I couldn't just up and leave my home, let alone to be with my Playboy playmate sister. Within seconds however I was coming to my senses; the beautiful creature in my arms was all I wanted. I'd have no trouble finding a good job anywhere I went.

"Do you really mean that?" I asked.

A long pause ensued in which Hanni turned her head upward from its relaxed position in my lap and cast her eyes upon mine...

"Definitely." Her tone was one of complete certainty. It made my heart throb for her, and the thought of endless time and the implied wonderful sex life we'd share had my manhood throbbing too.

Hanni stood up and glanced back over her shoulder toward me, biting her fingernail as she did. When she reached the entrance to the lower deck she turned and leaned provocatively against the frame, casting her hip outward in a way that accentuated her lean form all the more enticingly. She aimed a finger at me and beckoned me toward her the seated position from which I'd been watching her eagerly.

"Come inside with me, I think I need help turning on that big shower down there," she suggested mischievously.

I ambled up after her and held her hand from behind as we headed down the stairs. The inside of the boat was larger than I'd guessed it was, and I was excited for what Hanni and I's room would be like. I was even more excited as I watched Hanni pull her camisole up over her shoulders and then toss it through the doorway to our bedroom, remembering now that she'd never put on her cum-soaked bottoms. I only got to peer through the opening a second before Hanni tugged my hand and pulled me close to her.

I took hold of her in my hands, large and strong in contrast to her tiny, graceful body. She arched her back into me, pressing our hips together and we kissed there in the hallway. We kissed deeply, making up for all the lost time. My hands roamed, her hands roamed, and our need was more apparent with each twirl of tongue against tongue. Once again, my sister was in my arms, clothed only in that alluring little bikini and dying for me to take it off her.

There in the hallway we kissed and touched and pressed against each other, mimicking what we truly wanted. Hanni had just asked me to come with her across the country and be with her, as much more than just brother and sister. I couldn't think of a place I'd rather be. Yet, just then I was getting exactly what I desired as well: every bit of Hanni I could get my hands on.

We continued our foreplay and rolled shoulder over shoulder toward the bathroom door. Hanni would push me off of her and pin me against the wall and then I'd do the same. All the while we stayed locked at then lips and hips, save the short gasps that escaped Hanni's mouth when I connected with a particularly sensitive patch of skin or the whispered

"mmmmh, I love you"s and "oh goddd"s when I touched her just right.

We were so caught up in each other we barely noticed door to Irene and Jinwoo's bedroom slightly ajar. So, when both of us heard a moan from the room nearby that clearly hadn't come from Hanni, we stood frozen there together with Hanni's warm breath brushing my cheek.

Slowly we turned our heads toward the door; phew, it wasn't coming from our parents' room. We inched closer to the opened door, close enough that with my arms wrapped around her I could see over her head the source of the sound we'd heard. I had not been wrong when I'd imagined Irene would be a knockout naked.

Hanni must have agreed too because she gripped tightly at my arms as we watched the scene unfolding before us. Irene's husband lay back on the bed with his legs hanging over the edge of the bed, bent at the knees. Irene held fast to them and was turned around toward us, her breasts swaying as she lifted the sweet behind of hers and dropped it down sharply into Jinwoo's lap. She was tanned and toned, though not quite what I was used to with my sister. She was a bit... fuller, in places but it definitely worked to her advantage.

All the comparing reminded me who I held in my arms and I looked down at her, fidgeting in my arms.

"Like what you see?" I whispered, a line she'd used on me so many times before. She directed one of my hands downward and I knew what she wanted.

"Mmm hmm," she agreed, not even speaking as my hand landed over her uncovered slit, emanating the warmth of her arousal.

I began to pressure her tiny clit and she sank her gorgeous behind into me. We stayed like that, me rubbing her and her absolutely loving it as Irene continued to fuck her husband just beyond the door. We were both watching intently when Irene lifted her head towards us, the few of hair strands that had escaped hanging down over her face as her eyes rose up and landed on the door.

She saw us, she definitely saw us, and Hanni and I held tightly to each other neither moving or breathing. Her eyes met both of ours and she took in what was obviously a completely compromising position. She may have suspected correctly before that my sister and I had been lovers, but with my hand over the place no brother is supposed to go and my other cradling one of Hanni's awesome tits, there was no getting around it now. We were both frozen in anticipation of how she'd react.

Her downward thrusts slowed as she took us in and then........ a smile. Not just any smile, a huge mischievous grin that accompanied with her renewed efforts to take her husband's cock deeper and harder only meant one thing. She approved.

Hanni looked back at me with nearly the same grin Irene had, and she gave my crotch some serious attention with a quick up-down of that peach-like butt of hers over my shaft. I thought I was hard before that, but with Irene being railed a few feet away and the world's hottest playmate/my amazingly fuckable sister in my arms I think I suddenly grew another inch.

Irene watched us for a little while, as if both of her and my sister and I were transfixed and unable to look away. She showed us a few tricks, at some point rotating her hips around in a way that rippled her core and must have felt unbelievably good to her husband. She let out a few coos of pleasure but something told me they were more about seeing and being seen than Jinwoo's remarkably average penis. I guess money can't buy everything.

When we heard Jinwoo start to grunt foolishly Hanni took me by the hand and led me into the bathroom. She turned on the water and immediately grabbed my neck with one of her dainty hands, pulling me in for a needy kiss. She was turned on so obviously I could barely stifle a laugh. She pulled me under the water, my shirt still on. I wrapped an arm around her and her hands pawed haphazardly at me; she was so aroused she barely knew what to do with herself.

I took care of that; I lifted her and pushed her against the shower wall aggressively. She scratched at my back and then pried my shirt up over my head. Her hands pried at my stomach,

"Ugh, I love your abs," she was running her fingers over my muscles while arching her back to push me back a bit and see between us, "you are really fucking strong."

I rolled my eyes, 'women always say things like that,' I thought. I was flattered but compared to her, like a brilliant marble sculpture, I felt like I was made of play-doh.

She read my mind, "I'm not just humoring you, mmmhh, I'm soo attracted to you," she was rubbing that naked mound against my cock now. "No guy has ever made me so hot like you do."

I had to admit, she was flattering my immensely. I hoped that she felt the same way when I told her how gorgeous she was. I was encouraged enough to push her back flat against the wall and thrust along her lips, or what I could feel of them. I was kissing her neck furiously and she and I were clamoring to hump each other below. Somehow we got the water running and it warmed quickly, dousing us and our remaining clothing. My soaked trunks were plastered over my stiff shaft and it made the contact between us all the more purposeful. Still, I wanted more; and Hanni did too. She was fumbling around my shorts and the drawstring holding them tight to me. I was lost in her the long smooth skin beneath her cute chin.

"Oh god," she was moaning and twisting from attention to her sensitive neck, "take them off please!"

She was still lifted off the ground, her beautiful legs wrapping me. I reached for my waistband and she helped me to push the shorts down. She hastily pulled off the last scrap of clothing, her cute little bikini top, and cast it away; her tits jiggled unbearably and my cock jumped with excitement.

I forced her against the wall with an audible thud. My cock made its first contact with my sister's bare pussy in what felt like forever (it had only been about 24 hrs.) my rod split her lips and I felt how incredibly wet she was. She gyrated against me, and with my body sandwiching her between the wall and I could feel every muscle she used to do so. We were so connected in that moment.

"Umhhhh, it's been...too long," she cooed to me as her hips rotated rhythmically, "I've wanted you to put that big cock......mmmmgghh... in me all fucking day."

I loved hearing her talk like that, and I loved the way she looked and felt as much now as ever. Water cascaded over our shoulders, wetting her hair and dancing randomly down her slick body. Her tits were smashed against my chest, forced upward and outward while gliding against me with her constant grinding and flexing.

My shaft slipped again and again between her lips, I could feel my tip catch every now and again at her clit and threatening to sink deep inside her. At that moment we were content to thrust desperately against each other. I sucked hungrily at her neck and she showered my cheeks, ear and neck with kisses as best she could between her labored inhaling and exhaling. I even loved the grazing of her warm breath over my neck, the thought of making my sister so full of lust and sensation made me all the warmer inside.

"Uhhhhnn unnnnhhh, you like that?" she slowed and lengthened the path of her slippery lips on their straddling path over my cock "do you want to be inside me, wanna fuck your little slutty sister? I can't take this much longer...."

"Oh god, you have no idea," I answered her. I knew she was grinning.

Then suddenly from somewhere through the steam...."Then do it already, Jesus," it was Irene's voice 'I don't think I can take it any longer either!" We were frozen once again, held captive by the fear of being revealed.

Irene came into view, but I could barely see her in my peripheral while supporting my sister against the cool tiles on the wall of the shower. She looked to be wearing a nightgown of some sort, small and silky by the looks of it. She approached me slowly from behind; Hanni and I held our breath.

Irene was just outside the shower door we had failed to close in our haste. I still couldn't see her face and I thought that this may have finally been too much for her to see and accept. I felt a hand cover Hanni's on my shoulder. It slid in between Hanni's little fingers and caressed me as it did. Irene was touching me from behind and I could feel her presence heavy on my backside. I began to exhale, not sure yet if I should be relieved or not.

"Oh relax, you two! If I was going to rat you out I could have done it any of the half dozen times you were up to something before." There was an air of confidence and satisfaction in her voice, she was enjoying our little secret it seemed to me.

Hanni fidgeted, reminding me that I was only an inch or so from impaling her against the shower wall, I hadn't softened a bit and Hanni's warm pussy was still pulsing around my invading member. She felt it too, bringing her back to the desperation and arousal that Irene's interruption had only temporarily quashed.

I moved this time: a long, slow stroke that made her arch her back in response. Irene whispered something like "that's it, go on..." and stepped a bit closer. Hanni was fully back in sex-mode now and surprised me when she released her hand from its interlocking position with Irene's and she reached out beyond me. Her hand found Irene's shoulder and nightgown. She pulled, and Irene quickly stepped into the shower. The wide coverage of the showerhead found her nightie; it was a pale yellow number hung loosely over her shoulders with precariously thin straps. It was cinched under her breasts, which were causing mounds to form through the soft fabric, topped with pretty peaks that implied her obviously erect nipples.

Hanni and I were returning, slowly but surely, to the desperate and rhythmic contact we'd been seeking before Irene walked in. Hanni's adorable panting returned and she once again was splitting her engorged lips over the shaft I so eagerly wanted to plunge inside her with.

Irene's entwined fingers tightened their grip on my shoulder, and it seemed to jar Hanni into some new reality. She reached out swiftly and caught Irene's shoulder strap, sliding it off and pulling her under the water and closer to our side. The wide spray of the luxurious shower began to douse Irene with water. It was a subtle, pleasant yellow that darkened as the water turned it from opaque to transparent in a matter of seconds.

First her gorgeous butt showed through, sweet cleft and all as the material began to paste itself to her skin. I was staring intently and hardly noticed as Hanni slipped to the floor and turned to face the brunette vixen and her transforming gown. Hanni's fingers curled around my cock as she took another step toward Irene and came face to face with her.

It was like some kind of stand-off of who was hotter (it was admittedly close) or who was more daring, or god knows what those two women were thinking. My mind raced, and my member throbbed with Hanni's hand stroking me gently and pressing me against one soft cushion of her behind. The scene playing out before me was nearly too much to bear; the unfathomably beautiful Hanni, an unmatched playboy playmate vs. a sultry, illusive brunette trophy wife that had an obvious understanding of her own sex appeal and how to use it just right. I could hardly keep my eyes straight as Hanni jacked me, the pleasure and the build-up was indescribable.

Just when I couldn't take it anymore, Hanni closed the gap. Closing her eyes she leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on Irene's lips. It lingered... and just when Hanni seemed to pull back Irene returned the favor. She was soaked through and through in her place under the shower, every inch of the lingerie clinging to her body and revealing its splendor beneath. Irene wrapped a hand behind my sister's neck, her fingernails teasing just at her hairline where I knew her to be sensitive, and she brought them firmly together.

First they just held there sampling the other's lips; then Hanni opened her mouth ever so slightly. Irene swiftly flitted her tongue against the sliver Hanni had opened for her and then Hanni did the same. They playfully darted their tongues together and wrestled them more vigorously with each passing second. I hadn't thought my sister to have enjoyed the company of a woman as she now was, but with the increased pressure and stroking of my cock I could tell that Hanni was enjoying it thoroughly.

Once they had shared a few moments of feverish making out and both Hanni and Irene had begun touching each other gently and tentatively with their unoccupied hands, they slowed to a stop and drew back an inch or two. Simultaneously, both of them smiled at each other as if shocked and pleased by their newest taboo behavior. That was when they also turned in tandem to look at me, casually standing behind Hanni with an arm around her side as she stroked me and I watched them.

I wasn't sure what was in store for me but from the look in their eyes and the way they both glanced down at my cock, looking enormous in Hanni's dainty grasp, I knew it was something good.

"Mmmh," Irene let out and slumped toward Hanni a bit, "it looks to me like you were about to take a bit of a thrashing from not-so-little brother here... don't let me stop you."

Hanni bit her lip sexily and nodded in agreement, giving me an awesome little squeeze. She still seemed a little overwhelmed with pleasure from her first experience with another girl, so when she didn't act fast enough, Irene jumped in. She followed Hanni's arm with a light touch until it came close to where my cock was encased firmly in her grasp.

"Can I?" she looked straight at Hanni as if asking for permission.

When Hanni gave her an exasperated sigh of agreement, she slipped her hand over and Hanni let hers fall toward the floor. Irene set her eyes on me, waiting for me to protest. When I didn't, she wrapped her hand around my shaft completely and closed the gap between us. With one hand wrapped around my sister's taut belly, teasing toward her sweet spot, my other hand was left free. I quickly occupied it, placing it tenderly on Irene's hip.

My touch encouraged her and Irene leaned forward; it was my turn to taste the brunette's tongue against mine. Irene showed little hesitation with me as she had with Hanni. She simply slid into me in one quick motion and we locked together. First we tested only each other's lips, playing and sensing and loving the sensation. Then, when we felt bolder, we found the tips of each other's tongues. She was stroking me more intensely as we embraced and my hands on both Hanni and Irene worked harder in response.

When Irene heard Hanni moan from the pressure of my fingers on her button, she remembered her original intent. She ended her hand's attention to my staff and guided it closer to Hanni's cute behind. She was leaning against the tile and the combination of my stimulation of her clit, the down-pouring shower, and her first experience with another woman had her floating in her own paradise just inches away from mine.

Whether Irene realized it or not, as she hungrily lined up my tip with the entrance to my sister's tight tunnel, Hanni was yet unaware. Lost in her own thoughts and pressed up against that cool, smooth shower wall, she didn't recognize the feeling of my head making contact with her taut outer lips. Nor did she hear it when Irene planted another quick kiss on my lips and said,

"Go ahead honey,"

I split Hanni's lips apart with my first motion, and then began to slide the length of my engorged member into the little playmate's pussy inch by inch. That certainly brought her to, and she craned her neck to look back at who was causing the sudden, intense sensation she was experiencing. As I pressed deeper inside of her I could feel Irene's hand still guiding me and her fingers adding to the unbelievable pleasure I felt as I buried my shaft into my sister.

"Oooohhhh fuckkkk......"she howled with the naughty mouth of hers.

Irene moved around to where Hanni was locked against the wall, her breasts spreading outward from the pressure. Hanni turned to face her as much she could with my invading cock holding her in place. Immediately Irene found Hanni's lips with her own and began to kiss her intensely. While the two probed each other's mouths I finally reached the termination of my path and savored the sensation of being completely engulfed in my sister's tight pussy.

Irene's hand, which had been wrapped in a ring around my rod, lowered to allow me that final inch push into Hanni. She moved it directly to my full balls and tenderly cupped them in her hand. Her other hand had made its way to Hanni's opening, now pried open with her brother's cock.

"Does that feel good Hanni?" Irene asked her cutely.

"Yesss, ohhhh .....it feels sooooo good." she mewed back.

Once her fingers found their way to Hanni's sensitive little clit, I had had bottomed out in my sister entirely. Every bit of my shaft was immersed by Hanni's slick, hot channel and it felt as if I could sense her breaths in and out and the undulations of her beautiful core. My own little playmate cooed at the sensation of my cock seeming to expand inside of her. She was so tight, so unbelievably tight standing there with my cock lodged inside her, able only to cope with the feeling and do little else.

Irene planted a trail of soft kisses and pecks down Hanni's body, stopping for a moment at her delicious breast to caress them in a way only another woman could. As she made her way down, she placed a palm on my lower abs and gently encouraged me to pull out of my sister until only the helmet remained inside of her. Her soft pink lips held tight to my retreating member and pulled outward with it, desperate to keep me within. Just as my head was about to pop from Hanni's opening, she took hold of the exposed cylinder and prevented me exiting.

Her mouth found the connection between my sister and I and she covered it with the expanse of her tongue. That's when her hand, wrapped around me, tugged at me to press into my big sister once more. Her tongue stimulated us both and Hanni cried out as I sank into her more swiftly this time. In seconds I was once more deep within Hanni for the second time, ready to begin taking her fully.

"oh fuck.....Y/N.....it's so....... I can't.....mmmmmmm." She was short for breath and couldn't find the words to describe how I was making her feel.

Irene's tongue was beginning to lap and twirl around our incestuous junction, causing both of us to gasp from the added stimulation. When Irene's hand guided me back once again I was prepared, sliding out of Hanni and stopping just before I was literally out of her tunnel entirely before parting her lips once more and plunging deep inside.

Hanni was beginning to come to, despite the extreme pleasure from the increasing tempo of my thrusts. When I slid backward for the fourth or fifth time I could feel my sister's cute butt coming back to meet me. I kissed her neck from behind and she shivered from the tender contact. I opened my mouth and could taste the freshness of the water, still gliding down her body, combined with that deliciousness of her skin I'd grown addicted to.

As I continued to slide in and out of my sister, spurred on by her return thrusts, I reached down and found Irene's head with her soft locks of hair and I took the back of her head in my hand. I massaged lightly at it as Irene continued lapping at my sister and I from below. I gently tugged at her ponytail and encouraged her to stand up next to us so I could look her in the eye as I fucked my sister before her.

She did as I asked and came up to meet my gaze. Her eyes flitted down to my cock, plunging repeatedly into Hanni as I had her partially pressed against the wall for balance. I pulled Irene close and pressed my lips to hers, kissing her deeply while Hanni did more of the work. As I battled tongues with Irene and reached a hand toward her lovely cunt, my sister gyrated her taut cheeks into me faster and the sensation of her warm folds engulfing me independent of my efforts was near too much to bear. I prayed I wouldn't come too soon.

As my cock experienced the sensation Hanni was causing it my fingers found Irene's opening and teased her wet lips. I thumbed at her clit and she looked into me fiercely due to my daring behavior. I thought she might even push me away when she reached down to my hand, but instead she pressed my fingers inside of her.

"Uhhhhhghh," she moaned, "I needed this."

"Ughhh," I gasped back with another pound into Hanni, "Jinwoo not.....mmmmph.... Getting it done?"

She looked down at my invading cock once more, and Hanni and she made eye contact when Hanni turned to hear her answer. Her hand cupped the entrance to Hanni's pussy and she answered.

"Certainly not like this...." Something about having Irene approve of my rigorous fucking of my sister had my adrenaline pumping. With one hand in Irene's pussy I pressed two digits into her and began finger-fucking her to the tempo of my thrusts into Hanni. My other hand cupped Hanni's breast firmly to brace myself as I fucked her about as hard as I ever had.

"Fuccckkk...." Hanni squealed, "be careful.....mghhhh....I'm fragile."

I hardly listened, careful only not to slam her too hard against the shower wall, which might have woken someone. I continued to jam my cock into Hanni's squeezing sheath, bottoming out over and over and hearing her moan and gasp for breath. My fingers kept pace and Irene was leaning against my sister with one of their breasts mashing against each other.

"God, I might.....ohh.....ooh....cum already." Hanni said almost worried.

"Mmmmnhhh, you're telling me......fuck," Irene added in a breathy phrase.

Irene bucked against my fingers and the dropped to her knees as if to escape the pleasure for a moment, I was sure she hadn't come just yet but she started to minister to Hanni anyway. First her fingers wiggled over Hanni's clit and she trailed kissed to Hanni's tits once more.

I took both Hanni's hips in my hands and pressed her ass cheeks hard against my pistoning shaft. She held fast to my wrist and put a second hand against the wall. Over and over I drove into her, feeling her ass slam back toward me and clapping into my lap, apparently she wasn't THAT fragile.

"Ooohh.....ohhhhh.......so hard.......I think I'm gonna...."

I wrapped an arm across her abdomen and breasts, my other hand fell across her thin neck. She stood upright and I continued to impale her. I could sense her near orgasm as her body began to shake and weaken in my arms and I took more of her weight. That was just fine because my cock had her held up like a coat on a hanger. Irene's mouth found a nipple and she nibbled at it while her hand flew over Hanni's extremely sensitive clit.

It was the most erotic experience of my life, fucking my naked playboy-vixen sis with reckless abandon while she was being worked over by the beautiful adulterous brunette as both her husband and our parents slumbered on the other side of the wall. My fingers pawed at handfuls of Hanni's breasts and ass and I rocked in and out of her until I knew she was at the end.

"Ohhh ohhh, I'm gonna.....mmmmh-uhhhh..... Fuck, I'm gonna come." she was hardly being quiet, considering the proximity of our dozing families - I kept plunging into her nonetheless "It's so biggg.....mmmmph....I love you so.....uhhhh....much."

God she was so sexy right then, I couldn't get enough of her sweet dirty-talk or the flawless body I was currently burying my cock inside of. Just a few more thrusts and she was there. I could feel her pussy grip down on me like a vice and her body convulse against both Irene and I. Irene kept fingering Hanni's pulsing clit and I could feel her pussy wetting with her arousal.

She was bucking against the two of us and spastically taking my rod in and out of her as her pussy both begged for it to be buried inside her and for the unbearable sensitivity to stop. She moaned, she cooed; for nearly a minute she came, riding out her orgasm - my little champ. She was so sexy that I could have filled her right then with my own cum, but something about the naughty look that Irene we giving me... eyes peering at me, one covered in a wisp of black hair, while she stayed latched to my sisters nipple... I knew there was a little more left in store for me.

My little playmate finally stopped her involuntary shivers and kissed the hand I'd laid upon her shoulder. It was a light kiss, a thank you kiss, and I thanked her back by wrapping an arm around her tight tummy and pulling her close. I was still sheathed snugly inside of her and began to withdraw; she hummed a complaint. I gave her one final thrust when I'd pulled halfway out and when my hips made contact for the last time she melted in my arms. I finally removed my cock from her entirely and she turned around to face me, placing her back against the cold tiles and jumping at the sensation of them against her back. She took my chin in one hand and pulled me close; we kissed deeply and sensually; my God she always tasted so good.

Meanwhile, Irene had fallen to her knees again and as Hanni and I finished with each other, our tongues darting out for the last time, I felt Irene take my shaft in her practiced hand. Looking down at her I saw her beautiful body once more: breasts full and high upon her chest, pink nipples standing at attention and her firm abdomen. She kissed my tip and must have intended to suck me into her warm, waiting mouth. As good as that would have felt, Irene had done enough work already and I knew it was time to give her the attention she deserved. With Hanni recovering, eyes closed and face toward the ceiling, I gently took Irene's chin in my hand and coaxed her upward with a gentle pull.

She came up to meet me, eyes full of wonder and lust. She didn't know why I'd stopped her, but soon realized that intended to tend to her and not the other way around. I urged her toward the high bench at one end of the shower, where the water still reached her legs. Hanni followed her there and sat beside her, still zoned out and inattentive. As I sat Irene down carefully on the edge of the seat and positioned my mouth between her taut thighs, I took time to admire the beautiful shape that she'd managed to stay in. I figured her for no more than 34, but for the impeccable skin and luscious curves she carried, she and Hanni could have been roommates.

I massaged at the skin just beside her equally firm cheeks, a spot Hanni always seemed to love when I touched. Sure enough, Irene's dainty toes stretched and her hands reached out to bring me closer to her immaculate and beautiful slit. Her inner lips just peaked out from within her mound and I could tell just by looking at it that her pussy was going to be a snug fit.

I wasted little time; we were both so fired up, me from my intense sex with my sister and Irene from watching and waiting. I looked up at her, waiting for permission to enter a new level of intimacy. Her eyes looked desperate and sensitive:

"Mmm hmm," she hummed to me.

I planted the tip of my tongue at the very bottom of her entrance and wiggled it just inside a quarter of an inch. I then dragged it up within her pussy and to her clit, painstakingly slow. She moaned for the entire ten seconds it must have taken me to reach her button and then let out an exasperated breath. I then worked around her clit, flicking it with my tongue while pressing my hands into every bit of flesh they could reach from my kneeled position between her legs.

Hanni had taken to kissing slowly and sensually at Irene's neck as she grazed her hands over Irene's breasts and midsection. By the time that Hanni had even opened her eyes I was working a finger and my tongue into Irene's pussy, it was getting wetter with each passing second. She was so tight, I couldn't even imagine that she'd had much sex despite how attractive I, and probably any man, found her; obviously Jinwoo hadn't won her over with his size.

When I detected that Irene was building toward an orgasm, I increased my efforts and Hanni, who had perceptively noticed before me had already begun sucking all over Irene's chest and nipples.

Irene reached a hand down and grabbed my hair in between her fingers, running them through my short haircut and caressing my scalp. Then, for some reason, she stopped me. I followed her leading hand back up to eye level again and with her pair of pretty, large eyes, she looked deep into mine.

"It's so good....hmmm," she breathed out what she'd been holding in as her orgasm first suggested itself, "If we keep going, I'm not sure I could stop."

There was sincerity in her voice, and though I thought she may have really put an end to our tryst, the lips that puckered ever so slightly and accepted my kiss so readily suggested otherwise.

Hanni was being mischievous again, and she quickly grabbed my cock in her hand as it hung stiff between Irene and I.

"Why would you want to?" she said seductively as she pressed my tip against Irene's mound and ran it slowly from bottom to top as I had with my tongue.

Irene resolve weakened visibly, the tenseness she'd been displaying since the first thought of being penetrated was melting away in front of me. As my head made contact with her puffy folds, she shivered and her hands shot out to my abs and her pussy. She ran her fingers over the place where my cock had touched, but didn't push me away.

"I shouldn't....Jinwoo," she whispered barely loud enough for us to hear. I leaned into her and kissed her again while Hanni's hand stroked my engorged shaft; it was still slick from her own pussy. I was in heaven - Irene's tongue, despite her protests, was playing with mine enthusiastically, and I could feel her body involuntarily gyrating and pressing her mound harder against me. Hanni was, herself, pushing me deeper and I could just barely feel my cockhead beginning to spread Irene's lips.

"I don't think I can take that....hmmm...... Jinwoo is nothing like it."

Hanni smiled, sensing in the beautiful brunette a weakening resistance. I thought, if only briefly, that I might be offending my sister with my desires for another woman, and my eyes sought hers. Irene hadn't yet given permission, but when Hanni's eyes found mine she knew immediately what they wanted to ask her.

Rather than answer, she took my face in her hand and leaned in between Irene and I. Her perfect tits rested deliciously on my arm as I was massaging Irene's wonderful midsection. She kissed me, quickly and deeply, and I immediately knew what her answer would be.

Hanni was even more impatient than I; she practically tugged on my cock and urged me to slide forward. I still wanted to respect Irene's wishes despite the fact I knew almost certainly she would crack, but Hanni caught me off guard. As we broke our kiss she urged me with a firm tug forward enough for my helmet to slip just beyond Irene's entrance.

Irene gasped. I quickly pulled back and removed myself from her the tight embrace of Irene's entrance. My head shined with the wetness of Irene's pussy and it looked ripe for another plunge deep into the beautiful brunette.

"Hanni....!" I scolded.

Hanni only lifted her eyebrows and motioned for me to look at Irene to see her reaction. I didn't know what to expect, but I was pleasantly surprised to find Irene's eyes closed and a look of undeniable satisfaction on her face. When she felt me pull back out after Hanni's bold actions, she interjected,

"Oh God... maybe just a little..." she cooed, "Hanni, do you mind if I ask your lover here for a little more."

Hanni grinned naughtily and leaned in to plant her answer tenderly on Irene's lips. I felt a bit left out for a moment, as if I were just being passed between the two beauties, but then I remembered that my cock was at the entrance to the young brunette and I couldn't possibly feel anything but content. I prodded Irene further, and she opened her eyes with Hanni breaking from her kiss. I began to slide in, inch after inch. Hanni watched intently, and she held my arm so she could still be a part of the action. I held her myself, grasping her little butt firmly in my hand so she could still tell how much I loved her. Even Hanni was growing impatient though, and seeing me draw out my plunge into Irene's pussy, she interjected,

"She just got through making love in the bedroom, I think you ought to give her what she really wants bro,"

I was still reeling from Hanni's newfound spunk, this naughty threesome in the shower of a crowded boat had her talking like a sex-fiend and I liked it. I could have turned back and fucked her again for how much she was turning me on. Instead, I looked back at Irene and saw that Hanni had been right:

"You're sister has a point Y/N, ughhhh," she said as I withdrew to start obliging her, she was almost giggling at Hanni's bluntness "think you can.... mmmmmnghh... make me come with that..... fuckkkk.... big cock?"

But I had already started to try, and with my gorgeous little playmate nuzzled into one side of my body and with my member now buried in the beautiful woman in front of me, there was no turning back. I started to plunge into Irene with little of the gentleness I often afforded my sister. I picked up the pace, and all three of us watched as my cock slipped inside her, causing Irene to gasp, and then slipped out covered in her lubricating fluids -- that part caused Hanni to gasp.

My little sister eventually propped herself up on the same seat as Irene to get a better spot for the action. Without her at my side to grasp onto and savor her perfect body, I opted for the luscious one of Irene instead. I grasped firmly and a bit more roughly than Irene had expected, not that she didn't like it. My fingers pressed into her hips, fuller and softer than Hanni's with Irene's slightly fuller build. I loved the change-up, however, and I was soon pounding into Irene without restraint. It felt glorious, her ass clapping against my thrusting hips and my shaft being squeezed by her slippery insides. Her tits weren't as large as Hanni's, and I looked over at Hanni to see that Irene was palming her breasts and fingering my sister in the most sensuous of ways. Indeed, Hanni's breasts were the best I'd ever seen and I couldn't wait to get my hands back on them, but Irene's... they were bouncing around at my rough pounding in a way that had me ready to spray inside her.

I wondered if Irene would have it however, and looking at both women I would have been equally happy to fill either one. But it was coming quickly, Irene's taut sheath was assuring that, and so was the unbelievably sexual girl-on-girl action unfolding before me. I might have been only and afterthought to Irene had I not been fucking her so hard.

"Ohhhh.......my...... Godddd...." She cried out, breaking a kiss with Hanni. I could see my sister smiling; she must have known what Irene was feeling.

"Irene, I'm getting close," I warned her, wondering what she would say.

At first she didn't respond, savoring my impaling cock further and leaning her head back adorably. But then she looked back at my sister, once again reminding me of the kind of attention a superstar like Hanni demanded and deserved. I slowed my pace a bit but kept ramming her with fervor, I hadn't fucked a girl like that, well....ever. Collecting herself, she asked Hanni:

"Do you want him to.... Ughhhh...." she seemed near orgasm as she spoke, "you know.... Mmmmnhhh... finish with you?"

But Hanni had never been a selfish girl, and she wanted Irene to have just as much fun as she did, plus she probably figured she had me as much as she wanted. "No way Irene, but just let me warn you, he's like a fire hose," Hanni said giggling. Irene's eyes widened, but she didn't stop me. Hanni backed away a bit but took my hand in hers, she just wanted to watch this part. I hadn't stopped fucking Irene the whole time, and she finally refocused her attention on me, not that I hadn't been caught up enough in my onslaught of her gorgeous body. I did catch Hanni's warning and it made me smile, I was looking forward to cumming in Irene if she'd have me. With Hanni's hand in mine I placed it back on Irene's hips and held on tight. Irene had been heading for orgasm long before me, so when I started to feel it, Irene was already howling. Hanni put a hand over her mouth with a worried hush; Irene understood and tried to keep quiet. "Ohhhh fuckkkk..... how can you stand it Hanni..... so fucking big!" she whispered as quietly as possible. Nobody awoke however, and as I thrust again and again into Irene's warm center I knew I'd be over the edge at any minute. Her slick channel gripped me, she began to climax, and hard. Her inner muscles were inordinately strong, more so than Hanni's, and whatever restraint I had left in me was broken when I tried to push passed them without cumming. I was cooked, and I blasted into Irene with reckless abandon. I kept thrusting, rope after rope of semen coating her insides and pumping deep into her womb. I wondered if she'd been trying to get pregnant with Jinwoo, and the risk that she might accidentally do so with me turned me on even more. It seemed to keep me spurting seed into her; it must have been ten times or more.

Maybe it was the fact that I'd just fucked my own little sister against the shower wall, or the fact that she was literally a Playboy Playmate, or maybe it was the fact that I was holding her hand as I came inside our host's beautiful albeit unsatisfied wife. Either way I was in heaven, and Hanni leaned into me once more as I began to slow and Irene rode out her orgasm. She reached down to Irene's clit to keep her going and she spasmed at Hanni's touch. I wished I knew how to stimulate the two women as well as they did, but I was content to watch the two beauties anyway.

Irene was still orgasming, mewing and gasping for air much like I'd seen Hanni do every time I'd been with her since the first time a few days ago. She was beautiful, and I felt nearly jealous that Jinwoo could be with her any time she let him, but then again... I had Hanni. I looked at my little sister and I smiled at her, looking deep into her eyes to make sure she knew how much I couldn't wait to be with her again. She knew though, and her cute grin and kiss she planted on my lips reassured me.

Irene started to come around, "Jesus," she breathed out. She bucked her hips involuntarily when I moved a bit. "I haven't been fucked like that since college," she sang. We all laughed a bit and it lightened the mood.

"So killer, do you think you can take that thing out of me or is it stuck?"

I decided to have a little fun with her and pressed in the inch or two I'd withdrawn; we both nearly fell over we were so sensitive. "I think it's stuck," I joked. I couldn't deny that it still felt incredible to be lodged inside of her.

"It better not be!" cried out my sister.

We all knew why she said that, and it made Irene smile. I finally slid out of her, and some of the mixture we'd created inside came out with me. "Well," Irene commented, "that might not have been my best decision ever." I kind of shrugged my shoulders as she stood up. She looked down between us at my semi-erect cock. It was touching her lightly at the waist and she wrapped a hand gently around it. "On second thought, it might have been."

Irene looked up to me and brought my lips to hers, she planted a sensuous kiss on my lips that tasted like berries; she really was a provocative beauty. The kiss we shared might have been good, but the one she next shared with my sister was better. Theirs lingered longer, and their hands briefly touched each other's bodies. When they broke it was Irene who spoke, "I'm going to leave you two alone," we watched in awe as she took a step away from us and turned back, "if you guys need another playmate this week, you know where to find me."

It was an odd choice of words, and both Hanni and I looked at each other with a bit of shock, she couldn't have known could she? She kept right on walking out the door, grabbing a towel and heading back for her bedroom. I wondered if her husband would notice that someone else had been inside his wife that night, and left something behind.

My attentions were broken by Hanni back at my side, she kissed me, and I kissed her back hard. Our hands roamed everywhere, both incredibly turned on by what had just happened, and inexpressibly glad to be back upon each other. We made out in the shower like that for God knows how long. It was a good thing Jinwoo had invested in some expensive water recirculating contraption because we took our time under the warm downpour kissing and touching like star-crossed lovers.

When our legs began to tire, we finally gave in, and I lovingly washed Hanni's body. I spent extra time on all of the features I love most, and I could hear her start to breathe more heavily when my hands washed over her tiny pussy. She did the same for me, not being too shy when she jerked her hand over my erect member to "clean" it. But she eventually finished the task, and after some more minutes of gentle kisses and an embrace that I could have kept going forever under the shower's streaming heat, we finally turned it off. I wrapped a towel around my sister, sorry to see the playmate's awesome body hidden for even a moment, and took one for myself.

I followed her down the hall and watched her cute butt sway, I think she was doing it on purpose but I could never tell. Before going back into our room I took a final glance at Irene's door, wondering what the rest of the week would be like with the beautiful brunette whom we'd both just made love to. Hanni tugged at my hand and I didn't really care, as long as my sister was there with me I would be in paradise.

We made love once before we fell asleep that night, and another time when Hanni awoke, feelingly naughty, on top of me. In the dim light I held and watched her move about with her own brother inside of her. The boat hitched gently back and forth as we had sex for what could have been hours; we were both insatiable. Neither of us knew what the future would bring but, lying there making love to the only person we'd ever wanted so badly, we finally drifted off into an unconcerned slumber.

[heyimkana]

Desiderium - Chapter 1

Series Masterlist | AO3 Link

Pairing: Yuuta Okkotsu X Female Reader X Satoru Gojo

Genre: Reincarnation AU, Marriage AU, Fluff, Smut, Slow Burn

Summary: Set in Tokyo, Japan, you and Yuuta were past lovers separated by the cruel hands of fate. That same fate brought you to him again a century later, but while you hold no memories of him or the beautiful life you had shared with him in the past, Yuuta remembers everything. He's waited forever to see you again, yearning for your love, not knowing that you already belong to someone else.

Word Count: 15K+

Content Warnings: None for this chapter.

Notes: Yuuta, Reader, and Satoru are the same age, all in their late twenties. Satoru has his Hidden Inventory personality here, so he might come off as brash and slightly immature.

Written as a birthday gift for my wife Aleks @princess-okkotsu Art drawn by @alwhmd_ on Twitter (commission)

Yuuta Okkotsu is a mystery, and at this moment, as she meets him for the first time in a room filled with papers and ink and comforting silence, he intrigues her more than any lines in her favorite poetry. 

It’s not love at first sight, of that she is sure. She’s experienced that many years ago, or so she believes, with Satoru—the lover with whom she’s shared frantic kisses and burning touches in the last six years. It doesn’t feel the same with Yuuta right now, not quite. It is something more intense, something she cannot yet fathom, something she wishes she understood.

The second their eyes are locked on each other, it’s like she’s electrocuted, her body freezing at the sensation. 

“Oh, sorry,” she says, her voice sounding like she hasn’t spoken in years. A tiny red spot begins to form on his pale skin, where his chin made contact with her head earlier. “I was reaching out for a book. I didn’t see you there.”

The man, young enough to be around her age with a gaze softer than most, has an expression of a heartbroken man. He looks at her, pain fleeting across his face. 

His eyes… They remind her of the ocean before the storm. 

It’s not the color as they resemble more of a sapphire, like the freshly bloomed delphiniums after the rain. No, it’s the feeling, the way they glimmer under the soft evening light, calm and steady, but in a way, it emits sadness. Yearning. Heartbreak. The kind that makes him feel like he had been crushed, trapped inside a hurricane for so long, he was about to fade into the void. But there’s also hope beneath it, as if he was desperately looking for something, and he’s just a moment away from attaining it. Something tugs upon her heartstrings as he peers into her eyes, full of depths and secrets she longs to unveil. 

He looks like he’s about to cry, she thinks. There are no tears in sight, no quiver in his lips, and yet, to her…

“Are you… all right?” 

The man smiles ever so softly at her question, seemingly too kind to be genuinely coming from the heart, but she believes it. The quiet agony in his eyes has not yet dissipated, but he grows excellent at wearing his mask. 

“Yes, I’m fine.” His voice is rich and soft, breathy and tender when he speaks. “Are you?”

“Not my first time accidentally hitting someone from not paying attention to my surroundings, so yes,” she chuckles. Her pretty sounds stun him. The yearning he’s been trying to conceal shows vividly for a split second. It leaves her confused, worried that he got upset by her actions. “Again, sorry.”

“No, please don’t apologize. It was my fault. I should’ve kept my distance.”

She’s sure her eyes have never met him. Her mind doesn’t remember him. Her ears don’t recognize his voice, but she swears she’s seen him before, so much that it feels like he becomes gravity, drawing her to him.

She wants to reach out to him. Wants to know why he looks like he’s seconds away from breaking apart. Wants to ask him whether she’s said too much or too little. But he’s nothing but a stranger, and she doesn’t wish to step out of the line. “Were you also looking for a book?”

“Yes, umm…” He’s tall, taller than she’d expect someone who exudes such awkwardness would be. Compared to other men, he has a youthful look, but she has a hunch that he’s around her age, most likely in his late twenties. He points his finger toward a book on the shelf beside her. “That one.”

She follows his direction, smiling when she reads the title on its spine. “No wonder we bumped heads. I was aiming for the same book.”

“Oh, then, it’s fine,” he hurriedly says, pushing the book back toward her when she tries to hand it over. “You can take it.”

“No, please, go ahead. I’ve read this too many times already.”

“Me too, so—”

“I insist.” She presses the book to his chest, looking up at him. 

He looms before her, standing possibly over 180 centimeters tall that she has to tilt her head up to match his line of vision. She catches a whiff of his scent, the smell of soap and aftershave, thinly layered by cologne. Modest, pleasant, just like him as a whole. 

Despite the slight dark circles swelling under his eyes, he’s a handsome man with a face framed by strong jawlines, a sharp nose, and thick, silky black hair parted on the side. The ends of his strands were long enough to brush against the collar of his ivory turtle neck sweater. His brown coat compliments his pallid skin perfectly, and she can’t help but wonder whether his shoulders are just as broad underneath it. An argent necklace with a ring as his pendant dangles just a few inches above his heart, glinting in the same way as his silver watch under the fluorescent light of the room. When his lips curve up, his eyes do the opposite, drooping in a way that makes him seem younger, which leaves her confused as he also gives off the feeling that he might be older than he appears. 

What a beautiful person, a thought runs through her mind, one that she hastily dismisses before it reaches her tongue. “Take it as a form of my apology for bruising your chin,” she says with a slight grin.

His eyes widen just for a split second before a soft chuckle reverberates from his chest. When he speaks again, it’s almost like a whisper—like a secret never meant to be told, “I can never win against you, can I?”

She barely catches his words. “Sorry, what?”

“Nothing.” He clears his throat, tucking his chin to hide his eyes. “I, uhh… I was about to borrow this and grab some coffee. Would you care to join me? I’d love to talk to you more.” His body language indicates that he’s nervous, which she admits is endearing. There’s a momentary pause where she finds herself too busy marveling over his features, but he misunderstands. “I’m—I’m not a pervert or anything like that, I swear! I won’t do anything bad to you.”

She almost laughs. Who talks like that? “That sounds exactly like what a pervert would say.”

He gapes, face flushed. “No, I—” She loves seeing him struggle, so she lets him take his time, just watching him with amusement. He takes a breath, probably trying his best to slow down his soaring heart. “It’s just—it’s hard to find someone with a similar taste like mine and I, umm… I’d like to know you—I-I mean your taste in books—better.”

Usually, she’s not as gullible as to agree to a stranger’s offer, but meeting him somehow feels like reuniting with an old friend. It’s easier to trust him than to be suspicious of him. She wonders if it’s simply because of how affable he seems despite his awkwardness.

Her heart convulses. She knows how grabbing some coffee together tends to lead to something more, and seeing how shy and flustered he is standing in front of her, she’s sure he wants it to lead to something more. Her boyfriend’s name pops into her head, but her lips betray her before her brain can form a warning. “Sure, why not? Let’s prove my guts wrong,” she answers with a slight curve of her lips. “As long as you can tell me your name, that is.”

“Right, sorry.” She loves the sound he makes when he sheepishly chuckles, and she loves it more when it echoes louder in her ears. He offers his hand, stretching out his lean fingers. “I’m Yuuta.”

She expects it to be soft, just like the way he’s gazing at her, but his palm feels calloused against her own. “Yuuta…?”

“O-Okkotsu,” he finishes awkwardly as if he hadn’t spoken his surname in so long that he’d forgotten it.

“Pleasure to meet you, Yuuta Okkotsu.” When she replies to him with her name, he freezes, his eyes widening, shaking in disbelief.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No,” he answers, his expression melting into something warm, full of nostalgia. “It’s just... Your name sounds familiar to me.” She arches a brow, but he leaves her with no time to speak her curiosity. 

Calling her respectfully by her surname, he flashes a smile. “Shall we?” ***

Winter comes with a blush of the autumn time, ready to charm her soul and win her heart all over again, the way it always has since the first time she could remember cotton-like ice crystals falling gently across her window. The days, though shorter, remain clear and dry, as if they were already warmed by a sweet breath of spring even when the year has just begun. To her regret, the snow has yet refused to fall, but the way the city of Tokyo glows at night, with fairy lights wrapped around tree-lined streets, serves as a nice consolation.

 Stepping outside the library, she gazes toward the sky, expecting to be greeted by a blue evening sun, as if the rays would somehow be colder in these icy days, but, of course, it stays golden, divinely warm upon her chilled skin.

“Are you cold?” Yuuta questions as he watches puffs of her warm breaths lingering in the air. “Would you like my coat?”

“No, I’m fine.” All thanks to her wooly sweater. “That’s so nice of you, though. Offering a stranger your coat like that.” And honestly weird because who does that on a first meeting? She mulls to herself, though the thought doesn’t bother her as much as it should.

“I just…” Every time the word ’stranger’ comes flowing past her lips, it seems to hurt him somehow. “I thought you might need it.”

He’s being genuine, she can tell. The same way she can see just how red his cheeks are with the breeze biting too deeply into his skin. “I honestly think you need your coat more than me.”

“Ah,” he chuckles timidly. “Yeah, I’m not really good with cold weather.”

The thought of him all bundled up, sniffling from the wintry winds, enters her mind, making him look so adorable in her eyes. “We should hurry and get all warmed up then.”

They walk side by side, exchanging small conversations as they go. “Is winter your favorite season?” he asks.

“It is. I think it’s pretty. And it gives me the excuses I need to spend the whole day just keeping myself warm and cozy at the library, reading my favorite books. What about you? I suppose you hate it, huh?” 

“I don’t hate it.”

“You don’t? Even though you look like you’re about to freeze to death?”

He laughs softly to appreciate her jest. “No,” he smiles to himself. “I think I might have disliked it in the past, but my—” He stops, clearing his throat. “A friend of mine used to love it so much, so… I’ve grown to like it since then.” 

He said it like it was a secret he tried to repress, someone more meaningful than a friend. Her gaze drifts down to the silver ring hanging over his sweater. That looks like a wedding ring, she thinks, but it would’ve been weird, wouldn’t it? Let’s say he was indeed married; would he flirt with another woman while displaying his ring like this? Maybe he’s divorced? But why is he still wearing it? The thoughts swirl, but she keeps them solely in her mind. ***

Walking from the library to the nearest coffee shop only takes around ten minutes. By then, she’s caught on the little gestures Yuuta makes as he speaks: the way he forces himself to laugh a little when he notices he’s being too straightforward; the way he clears his throat when he feels like his words have more hidden meanings than they let on. She’s become aware of his passion and love for books, so strong that it can only be matched by her own. She’s learned about his dream, a novelist in the making, taking his first baby steps to turn it into reality.

“There’s the one,” she says, pointing a finger to a small yet cozy coffee shop on the corner of the main street, still a few meters ahead. “I don’t drink coffee but often drop by to get matcha lattes before work. They’re amazing.”

“You don’t drink coffee?” Despite his question, he doesn’t appear to be surprised by the fact. It was as if he already guessed it.

“Yeah, umm—” She loosens the collar of her sweater, her body heating up as embarrassment grows. I’d rather die than tell him that coffee upsets my stomach. “You know, the caffeine keeps me awake.”  

“Ah, yes. Of course.” 

It’s probably just her fear and shame playing tricks on her mind, but she swears she sees a little knowing smile forming on his lips. She refuses to acknowledge it for the sake of her heart.

“Oh, hold on.” Yuuta suddenly quickens, taking a couple of strides ahead of her. He pulls on the doorknob, holding the door open. Any other man would do it to leave a good impression. Yuuta does it because he’s raised to do so, a gentleman to his core.

“Thanks,” her sheepish smile causes joy to bloom like roses on his face. 

They step inside the shop, instantly surrounded by wafts of the warm, welcoming blend of coffee beans and caramel. A young female performs a love song on the stage with a pink acoustic guitar perched on her lap, a shade that matches her cotton candy hair. The queue of people desperately needing warm coffees in the chilly evening is longer than she expected. She doesn’t find the heart to change places, however, knowing how Yuuta has been secretly hiding his face behind his scarf, seeking warmth whenever he thought she wasn’t looking (she caught him in the act every time but kept quiet about it for his sake). 

Maybe it’s better if we stay. “Do you mind if we wait in line for a bit?”

“Not at all,” he replies.

 And so they wait, standing side by side, trading secret glances and diffident smiles. 

A staff slides open the display shelf beside her, placing a fresh batch of chocolate pastries and strawberry cakes under the fluorescent light. Saliva pools in her mouth almost immediately. The savory cream, the strawberry fillings in between layers, and—

“You can go ahead and take a seat if you want,” Yuuta offers, swaying her away from her stupor. “I’ll place an order for us.”

“Huh? Oh, no, I can wait here with you. It’s fine.”

“It’s still gonna take a while.” He briefly looks at the six people ahead of them, worried. “You sure?”

She skims through her options quickly. An open spot in the corner would be perfect for them to talk, a safe distance from the live music playing on the stage and the gossiping crowd. “But I’d feel bad,” she speaks her concerns.

“This is nothing,” he assures. “What would you like to have? I know you’re fond of their matcha lattes, but I saw the board, and it says it’s not available right now.”

“What?” She takes a quick view of the handwritten menu on the blackboard. “Oh, you’re right,” she mumbles regretfully, noticing that even a simple matcha tea is crossed out. Great, what should I get? Will I look childish if I ask for hot cocoa with s’mores? Yeah, probably. “What are you getting?”

“Black coffee.”

And, of course, he had to be an adult and choose that, she nearly pouts. Now, I’m definitely going to sound like a kid.

“What about hot chocolate?” he suggests. When she reciprocates with a frown, surprised at how easily he reads her mind, Yuuta quickly adds, “Sorry, it’s just… You look like you have a sweet tooth.”

“Excuse me?”

“I—I saw you staring at the cakes before, so, umm… Sorry if I jumped to conclusions.”

“Oh, wow, that’s embarrassing,” she forces out a faint laugh to mask her shame. “You caught me drooling.”

“No—it’s cute, really!” It’s even more mortifying now that he’s trying to comfort her about it. “I like cakes too. Chocolate ones, mostly. But also the strawberry ones, they’ve been growing on me lately—” he abruptly stops. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. God, I’m sorry.”

She watches him turn flustered, just for a second before she fails to suppress her giggles from escaping. “You caught me drooling, and now you’re panicking about oversharing. We’re a bunch of idiots, aren’t we?” 

The string of her adorable peals of laughter causes his gaze to soften, his eyes turning melancholic as if he were witnessing a memory unveiled before him. She notices him staring—adoring, really, like it’s a habit of hers he’s grown to love for years. Such a weird thing for a stranger to do. 

“You haven’t changed at all,” he says under his breath, or at least she thinks so. She must have heard it wrong.

“All right,” she says, straightening down her sweater. “I’m going to be useful and find ourselves a table before I further make a fool out of myself. I’ll have a slice of that strawberry cake, please.”

“Noted. And your drink?”

“I’ll have what you have.”

“Coffee? But—”

She strides away before he can finish. 

Leaving him standing on the line, she catches him shaking his head from the corner of her eyes, chuckling to himself.

Yuuta arrives at her table a moment later, carrying a tray filled with their orders. “Sorry for making you wait.”

“Sorry for making you wait,” she says, proffering her gratitude with a smile. “Alone.”

“It’s fine,” he mirrors her expression. “Here’s your order.”

“What is this?” She questions as he places down a plate filled with strawberry cake—two slices, with extra frosting and fresh strawberries on top. “Are you trying to make me fat?”

He laughs, his hands busy settling the cups on the wooden table. “I thought you might be hungry after all the waiting.”

“It literally was only fifteen minutes.”

“Well, then, maybe we can share?” he asks, slightly hopeful, before his shyness gets the best of him again. “O-only if you’re comfortable.”

“Please, I’d love to—” She stops, noticing the two cups of hot chocolate—with s’mores—sitting between them. “Wait.”

“Oh, umm,” Yuuta straightens himself on his seat; his posture reminds her of an employee preparing himself to be scolded by the chief. “You said you’ll have what I have, so I got you the same one.”

“Yeah, but didn’t you say you were gonna have black coffee?”

“Did I?” He does it again, emitting that unique laugh of his to hide his discomfort. “Well, uhh, caffeine keeps me awake, so… I changed my mind.”

She squinted her eyes. “You’re actually a lot cheekier than you look, aren’t you?”

He sweats, hastily taking a sip of his drink. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

It’s her turn to shake her head this time, all in amusement. “Well, thank you. For being so considerate.”

With a juvenile glee, he replies, “Don’t mention it.” ***

“Have you thought about what kind of story you plan to write?” She asks as she slides her cup closer to her side. Now that she’s finished tasting some of the s’mores with her spoon, a lovely shade of cocoa shimmers inside, glazed with foam and melted marshmallows. “Is it porn?”

Yuuta chokes on his drink, spilling a bit of chocolate down his chin. 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry.” She promptly snatches some tissues for him, almost dabbing his mouth herself as some of it threatens to spill onto his shirt. Thank goodness he managed to wipe it off just in time. 

“It’s not porn,” he coughs out, his eyes glassy with tears.

“Yeah, no, of course. I was just kidding.” She checks on him, her forehead creasing with concern. “Are you okay? Did some of it get into your nose?”

“I’m fine,” he sniffles, trying his best to smile without wincing.

“Gosh, I’m so sorry. You’re just so stiff; I thought I’d ease you up with a joke.” She half-grimaces, half-grins at him. “Guess it’s working?”

“Guess it is. A little.” When he chuckles, she feels an inkling of joy. It doesn’t take long before Yuuta’s little laughter becomes one of her favorite sounds in the world. “Sorry for being so jumpy all the time. Old habit.”

“Not used to talking to strangers?”

“Not like this, no. You’re my first.”

Something warm and pleasant grows inside her chest, but she chooses to ignore it. “Well, consider me honored. So,” she sips her drink, “Your story?”

“Oh, uhh… I plan to write a romance novel.” 

“Romance? That’s surprising.”

“How so?” 

“Hmm, not sure why, but I see you more as someone who writes crime stories. You know, writing from experience, that sort of thing.”

He pouts. It’s adorable. “Because of the way I behave?”

“Because of the way you behave.” She returns to another good-natured chaff. “Also, because you seem… I don’t know, there’s something strange about you.”

Yuuta falls into silence, just for a moment. A reaction she didn’t see coming. “Strange how?”

“Like…” She peers into his eyes, and there it is again. The way he stares at her. The way he tends to express pensive sadness as if he’s been trying to convey something to her—something really important—but she’s not listening. He doesn’t seem suspicious to her, not in the slightest. But he gives her the same feeling she feels when she encounters a mystery in the book, one that she can’t wait to be resolved at the end of the story. Why do you seem so familiar? She ponders before she shakes the thoughts away. “I can’t point my finger at it just yet.” 

His shoulders sag. For some reason, her answer disappoints him. 

She straightens up on her seat, her lips tilting up on their own to cheer him up. “Perhaps I’ll figure it out once we finish our drinks.”

Yuuta smiles, too, but it lacks the same warmth. There’s something he’s not telling. “I hope so,” he says. If there was a hidden message beneath it, she missed it.

Feeling a tad awkward, she taps her fingers against the sides of her cup. “So, a romance novel, huh? I never would’ve pegged you as a romantic if you didn’t tell me.” 

Anything that he wants to say, he swallows it all down to himself. “Well, it’s supposed to be more than just a romance story. It has a supernatural element to it. Borderline fantasy.”

“Like what?”

He takes a few seconds before he responds quietly with a secretive smile. “I guess you’ll just have to read to find out.”

“Cheapskate.” She purses your lips. “Is it going to have a happy ending?”

“Well, they’ll be separated by death in the end—”

“Hey! Spoiler alert!”

He cringes, “Sorry.” 

“I can’t believe you said, ’You’ll just have to read to find out,’ and then dropped this bomb on me.”

Yuuta chortles, very light, very charming. “I just wanted to make it sound interesting, I guess. I thought you’d do well with sad stories.”

“Well, yes, angst is my cup of tea. It wasn’t before, but I read this heartwrenching book once, and it’s been growing on me ever since.” She then notices something. “That’s a good guess, though.” She throws a joke, “Were you able to tell because I have this constant miserable look on my face—”

“You’re beautiful.” 

She freezes. His line comes out so suddenly, true, but it doesn’t stagger her as much as the way he speaks it. He says it not as a compliment but as the truth. He conveys it so smoothly, but not because he’s used to flirting. His eyes still shake as they stare at her. The slight crack in his voice is one of the tiny proofs of how nervous he is around her. And yet, these words sound so natural in her ears, as if he’d said that to her a thousand times before. 

And it feels like she’s heard it. A thousand times before.

“I… Sorry.” He settles himself on his seat, his cheek blossoming in red when he scratches it with his finger. “I didn’t mean to cut you off. It’s just… You don’t look miserable or anything, you’re… You’re gorgeous.” He can’t meet her gaze. She’s the blazing sun, and he’s a man who’s never stepped out during daylight. “Ah, what am I saying,” he mumbles, only for his ears to hear. She can tell he wishes his seat could swallow him whole. He’s embarrassed, terribly so, that he practically has one hand covering his face. 

“Umm… Thanks.” That’s all she can say because how else could she answer him when he acts like he just made a love confession? Trying to keep it light, she adds, “You’re giving out that suspicious vibe again.”

He claws against his jean-clad thighs, feeling even smaller. “S-sorry…”

“I’m kidding!” She exclaims, flashing her biggest smile. “I appreciate the compliment, truly. Thank you, Yuuta.”

He stops breathing at the sound of his name escaping her mouth. She realizes it’s the first time she’s said it, and seeing how his shoulders turn tense, she begins to worry. “Sorry, I accidentally called you by your first name. I hope that’s not rude?”

“N-no, it’s all right,” he says, pink flames bursting in his cheeks again. He fiddles with his fingers, bashfully adding, “I… actually prefer you call me that way.”

“Oh…” There’s probably no limit to how adorable he can be. “Well then, you can call me by my first name, too.”

The way joy sparks instantly in his eyes is blatant proof that he’s been waiting for the chance, but he shakes his head, too shy to take it. “No, I… I shouldn’t.”

His choice of words leaves her puzzling over it. Not can’t. Shouldn’t. He’s not shy. He’s refraining himself. But for what? “And if I insist?” She asks.

He nibbles on his lower lip, avoiding her gaze, and maybe he’ll do it, just for her sake, but it won’t feel right, will it? 

“Never mind, it’s fine,” she comforts him. “You can call me whatever you want. I don’t mind.”

Yuuta seems relieved, thanking her in silence with little nods.

“So, what happened to them? The lovers in your story.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to spoil it.”

“You can’t just say something like they’re dying and then not tell me about it.”

He awkwardly laughs. “If you insist, I can give you a hint later, but you’ll have to imagine the rest.”

“Then tell you about it? What if you steal my idea?” She raises an eyebrow, smirking. “I happen to have a very creative imagination, you see.”

“I promise you I won’t,” he answers so thoughtfully that she almost feels sorry for teasing him. “I’ve finished writing my version of it. I’ll let you see it after you tell me yours.”

“Huh, interesting.” She pretends she’s rethinking her decision, just to get him a little hopeful and nervous about it. “Deal, why not.”

His eyes are filled with excitement. “Does that mean we’ll see each other again?”

She wants to poke fun at him again by saying ’maybe,’ but Yuuta resembles an overjoyed puppy waiting for a stroll. She doesn’t have the heart to do it. “Well, I do have to go back to the library to return the book, so… Yes.” 

His lips parted in the brightest smile, his eyes glimmering in delight. “Then, next week. I’ll see you again next week. Same time?”

Like a disease, his glee is contagious, sending ripples of joy inside her. “All right. But be sure to keep your chin away from my head next time.”

He titters, “I’ll try.”

They exchange stares, sharing sheepish smiles. She breaks away first, bringing her focus back to her drink. It has grown slightly cold over the passing minutes, but the sugary taste has become quite an addiction.

“I’ve never seen you in the library before,” Yuuta mentions. “Was today your first time visiting?”

“No. I’ve been going there almost every day for the last month, but I usually visit in the morning. I just moved to a new company, you see, and my office building is nearby. I walk past the library every day, and since my shift starts late, I often drop by before work to read for an hour or two. My apartment is pretty small, so it feels a bit cramped. That’s why I enjoy spending more time outside.”

“You’re spending your weekends in the library too?” He wonders aloud.

She playfully narrows her eyes at him. “Why does it feel like I’m being judged here?”

“No!” He panics. “I just thought that—that you’d have friends inviting you out or, y-you know.”

“Well, I’m not really one to party,” she chuckles to ease his anxiety. “I don’t do well with crowds. It feels better to have a one-on-one conversation like this. More meaningful.” 

He’s a mystery, but in some ways, he’s also an open book. Every time her word delights him, it shows. “Me too.”

She smiles, but it slowly drops as she swirls her spoon, watching the little whirlpool she creates inside the cup. “But it’s also because… Well, I can’t read at home.”

“May I ask why?” 

“I have a boyfriend who works from home, so he’s always there with me.”

Yuuta’s fingers stop tapping against the surface of the coffee table but it’s too fast for her to notice before he starts again. “I see,” he replies. The smile on his lips never falters; the one in his eyes does. “Is he a lively person?”

“Very,” she sighs. “And loud. It’s hard to focus on your book when you have a grown man either swearing at his computer screen for probably twelve hours a day or snoring throughout the morning like he wants the whole town to hear it.” She catches herself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to vent. He’s nice, I care about him a lot, it’s just… I need some time for myself. Somewhere quiet.”

It doesn’t last long, but she senses it, the changes in his expression. It feels like she just said something terribly hurtful to the point that she feels like apologizing for it.

Maybe he notices her noticing, which is why he tries to mask his feelings better with a broader smile that does reach his eyes this time. “And that’s why you chose to visit a library.”

“Yeah. I mean, I could go to a book cafe, but…” She shrugs. “I don’t really like it. Too modern, too… many people just taking selfies instead of actually reading, you know?” 

That earns her a chuckle. “But why here, specifically? There are many new ones in town. Bigger ones, too. This place is pretty old and dusty.”

“Can’t argue with that,” she nods, sighing. “This is going to sound dumb, but that library feels nostalgic to me. The first time I stepped inside, I felt like I’d spent all my life there. It was like I had memories there—just sitting on that old couch, reading books, enjoying the silence. It just feels familiar, you know? Even more comforting than being in my room. It’s weird, but I can only feel at ease when I read there.” Yuuta stays so quiet that she has to lift her head and meet his gaze to understand a glimpse of what goes through his head. His face is solemn, undecipherable. “What about you? What’s your reason, Yuuta?”

He drags his eyes away from hers, fixing them on the interlaced fingers around his cup. The light in his eyes slightly dims as he turns pensive. 

“It’s just closer to my place.”

***

“Hey, Bunny,” her boyfriend of six years, Satoru Gojo, chirps from the bedroom. It’s not so much of a warm greeting, not anymore, not like how it used to be. The pet name he calls her now feels just like another word. All the fluttering butterflies in her stomach seem to have died, along with his welcome home hugs and I’ve missed you kisses. 

Judging from his voice, he must have a cherry lollipop stuck in his mouth, another replacement for his cigarette. He used to be addicted to it back in college, influenced by his best friends—Suguru and Shoko. His room smelled like one whenever she visited it for… well, a ’study date’ he used to call it. She had asked him to stop smoking countless times in the past and nagged about it for two years as she grew worried over his health, but each complaint fell on deaf ears. Satoru only stopped a couple of months ago, breaking the news to her with a grin, saying, “I did this for you, babe. Aren’t you proud of me?” And she smiled at him, she always did, even as she stared at Suguru’s face among the pictures he had on his nightstand, reminded of the truth. Satoru didn’t do it because of her, and he most certainly didn’t do it for her. He just didn’t want to end up collapsing from heart disease like Suguru did. That’s all there is. And that got her thinking. 

When was the last time her boyfriend did something for her? Or listened to her? Or noticed something different about her hair or the new dress she wore? 

She styled her hair for him. She bought a new toothbrush before he asked for his to be replaced. She decorated her apartment in his favorite color on the day he moved in, eagerly wanting to make him feel comfortable, but every piece of furniture and accessories he bought after always had the same shade. He thought it was her favorite color, too. He never asked, just assumed, which summed up her entire relationship with him. 

It never occurred to him that she did everything for his sake, for his pleasure, for his happiness, because he never thought of doing something solely for her sake. Satoru was always about me and us, but never you. “This color is nice, isn’t it, babe?” It wasn’t, but she smiled again, never letting him know that his favorite color was the color she hated the most.

But maybe it’s just her fault. 

Maybe she’s put herself in this situation for not being honest, for always keeping her thoughts to herself, for always agreeing with him instead of saying what she wants. It’s just… She’s tired. Tired of fighting over minor differences,  tired of worrying that her protest would lead to a bigger fight, one that would drain them emotionally and damage their relationship for good. But she couldn’t help but think how nice it would be if he were, at least, considerate enough to ask. 

Back when they first dated, Satoru was everything she could ask for. He knew how to keep her standing on her toes. He was driven by impulse. Exciting. Unforgettable. 

Those late-night drives on his motorcycle when she spent hours laughing at his stories with her hands settled deep inside his leather jacket…

Those weekends they spent traveling together to a country where none of them spoke the language, wandering around with no map in their hands, sharing heavy kisses in an abandoned alley, and drunk-dancing to songs sung by strangers… 

And those nights when he would have her body speak to him in ways that only he allowed, her head swirling in ecstasy as she succumbed to his naughty smirks and experienced hands. It was fun. 

So what changed?

“Lend me one of your earphones. I want to know what song you’re listening to.”

“You’re a bit quiet today. What’s wrong?”

“Let’s watch this movie again. You seemed to enjoy it a lot when we saw it at the cinema.”

“I like it when you wear your hair down like this. It looks nice.”

These words… Did he use to say them to her in the past? She can no longer remember, but she forces herself to believe that, yes, he did, he said them all the time. It’s a terrible way to deceive her mind so her feelings for him remain the same. It’s a pathetic way to convince herself that his feelings for her remain the same.

“Hey,” she replies to his greeting, even when he’s nowhere to be seen.

“You’re late.” Satoru, like always, has his fingers running on his keyboards. His magnetic blue eyes are locked to his computer screen, probably have been for the past few hours. She wonders if he even looked up to see her when he heard her footsteps earlier. Most likely not. “Did you get the puddings I asked you?”

“Yes. I put them in the fridge.” 

“Okay, cool.”

No ’thank you’ but what was she expecting anyway?

She removes her coat and unwraps her scarf from her neck before moving toward the living room. She can’t remember what or who initiated it, but it has been almost a year since he started living in her apartment. She remembers how he used to spend just one night at her place on the weekend, then two when he felt a bit needy for her touch. Before she knew it, his personal belongings were scattered all over the place—his hoodie on the couch, his towel hanging on the bathroom door, his toothbrush on her sink. Satoru could be spending the entire week at her place, only taking a short trip back to his apartment once he ran out of comic books to read. The changes just came so naturally that she didn’t notice at first, but by the time she did, it was too late to even bring the topic to the table. 

So she decided to turn her apartment into a home, making it official that they’d moved in together, reshaping it into a place where both she and he could be comfortable and adjusting plenty of things to his needs. Satoru didn’t notice the effort, let alone appreciate it. And now she’s starting to count the days when he’ll eventually stop noticing her as well.

Being with Satoru was easy, casual, and he gave her more reasons to laugh over little things than anyone else. During the first two months of living together, they acted like newlyweds, with him peppering kisses on her face whenever she arrived home from work. Unlike her, Satoru is a freelancer who does most of his work at home. He used to be considerate enough to do some chores for her—cooking, cleaning the bathroom, and sometimes even doing her laundry when he felt like he’d been neglecting her. Whenever she arrived late, he’d always have something prepared for her, beaming at her with a infectious grin while chiming, “Oh, finally, you’re here! I’ve been waiting for you for hours, and I’m starving like crazy. Today’s dish is your favorite, so let’s hurry and eat!”

Unlike him, she appreciated his effort. Each and every one of them. It didn’t feel one-sided then, unlike now.

Satoru used to be perfect, more perfect than anyone else, but then she realizes that he was just trying to impress. Impress her, impress his colleagues, impress his teachers. And now, maybe he doesn’t feel the need to impress her any longer. Nor does he want to.

She was happy, but things are bound to change, and happiness doesn’t last forever. It started slow, almost unnoticeable, with him forgetting to kiss her good night before bed and her treating the fact that he no longer paid attention to what she was wearing as normal. Nowadays, he doesn’t have enough affection to greet her with his smile—one that used to shine brighter than the sun. Comforting hugs and welcome kisses are long forgotten.

It’s lonely, but it’s fine. He’s still here. Satoru is still hers as much as she is his.

It’s fine.

As she rests on the couch, her fingers brush against the book she borrowed from the library the other day. Her mind drifts back to the stranger she met, her smile growing so naturally on her lips at the memory.

Satoru walks out of the bedroom with a yawn, one hand rubbing against the back of his head while the other slips underneath his shirt to scratch the itch on his stomach. He’s stopped minding about his appearance in front of her a long time ago, wearing and doing whatever he feels comfortable with, unbothered by what runs through her mind. She never speaks up anyway. With an enervated “hey,” he enters the bathroom, never stopping to ask her about her day, though she doesn’t really expect him to do so. 

A brief moment later, he returns with his eyes still bleary despite his attempt to wash his face. Noticing his messy silver hair and the black shirt he’s been wearing since yesterday, she follows him to the bedroom, asking, “Have you taken a shower today?”

“Nope,” he answers, plopping himself back to his gaming chair, his eyes locked on his computer screen. “I was busy. Had a meeting with a client this morning.”

She takes a glance at the digital clock on his desk. “But it’s already eight-thirty.”

“Thought I could shower with you today.” He flaunts his cheeky grin, catching her off guard. She didn’t expect him to say something like that, but then again, now that she noticed, it’s been almost two weeks since they last had sex.

She’s exhausted from work. Her body is aching. “I see. Well, I’m about to take a shower now.”

“Like now now?” He hisses when his character on screen takes damage from his opponent. “I’m still playing. Tomorrow morning, then?”

“Sure,” she says, just for the sake of conversation. She already can tell it won’t happen. She has to leave early for work, and Satoru would rather die than wake up at seven in the morning. 

“Hey, umm… I met someone yesterday.” She reaches out to stroke his hair. It’s so soft and fluffy, like a dog’s fur, even when the strands point in every direction. If there was one thing that hadn’t changed, it was how she still found it calming to just card her fingers through them. A habit that she did often in the past as he loved falling asleep with his head on her lap while she indulged herself with her favorite book. The feelings are the same, only his reaction isn’t. He used to lean into her touch as a kitten would. Now, he doesn’t even spare her a glance. “Satoru… Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah, yeah, one sec.” He smashes more buttons before he slides down his headphones, letting them rest on his neck. “What’s up?”

“I met someone yesterday. At the library.”

“O… kay?” He knits his eyebrows, confused. “What’s that gotta do with me? Someone I know?”

Surprise blinks in her chest at first, followed quickly by disappointment and then acceptance. Another piece of her heart still breaks, but she’s grown used to the feeling. “No, I just… I don’t know, I thought you should know.”

He snorts, holding back a laugh. “Honey, I’m not keeping you locked up in here. You’re allowed to meet anyone you want. Don’t need to report everything back to me.”

She refrains herself from chewing on her lip. “You’re right. Sorry for bothering you.”

“Baby, of course you’re not bothering me,” he coos, poking her playfully in her stomach. “I’m just saying that ’cause you made it sound like a big deal.”

“Yeah,” she replies, careful not to sound too cold. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right.” Satoru smiles before he spins on his chair, returning to his game. “Who was it?” He asks, fingers running fast over the keys. “It’s not a man, is it?”

She pauses. “Yes…”

He stops tapping, only for a second. “Is he hot?”

“Well, he’s not ugly.”

“Then don’t get too close to him.”

Satoru is the jealous type. He has always been. He’s far from controlling, but his possessiveness often feels suffocating. Or, at least… It used to be. And that was fine. It made her happy to know someone out there liked her so much he didn’t want to share her with anyone else. She felt wanted. Needed. But not today. 

Today, although his words weigh heavily on her, she can tell they weren’t born from his affection for her—if there was even still any of it left. She is his belonging, his possession, and he’s a lion guarding his territory. That’s it.

And that’s… fine, too. At least he still cared.

“I won’t,” she answers, as she should. “I won’t get too close to him.” She repeats it, this time for her own ears, to remind herself.

“Good,” he says, dismantling their tension as easily as a moth shreds its wings. He flashes her a grin with that youthful sparkle in his eyes. “Then we don’t have anything to worry about.” Satoru returns his full attention to the screen, not caring if she’s still standing in the room, waiting for him to care more about her than the man he suspects is eager to snatch her away.

“What will we be having for dinner?” She asks him while he’s busy shouting foul words to his screen.

“Jesus—left, you moron!” He groans loudly into the air before turning around, finally realizing she’s waiting for his answer. “What? Oh.” He pops the lollipop out of his mouth. “I just had some take-outs.”

“You didn’t wait for me?”

“I was dead hungry, but I ordered some for you, too. It’s probably cold now, but you can heat it.”

“Can you do that for me, please? I love it when you add more seasonings to it.” 

“Bunny, you know I’d love to do that, but,” he smiles apologetically before his fingers dance across his keyboards again, “I’m in the middle of something here. There’s an event going on, and these assholes literally won’t let me take a break. Listen, I’ll cook for you tomorrow, I promise.”

She has stopped believing in his promises, or at least doesn’t allow herself to believe in them anymore. She’s learned that the best way to avoid disappointment is to not expect anything.

She smiles back, pushing his hair away so she can land a kiss on his temple. She refuses to say a word no matter how much her bottled-up feelings are about to burst.

Because she knows silence is what keeps their relationship alive. 

***

That following night, Yuuta appeared in her dream.

Standing on the small row between bookshelves with a small feather duster in hand, she found him entering the door to her library—one that bore an uncanny resemblance to the place she often visited in reality. 

He seemed much, much younger than the version she knew, maybe by ten years or so. He had more tan on his skin, his hair a little shorter, color’s a shade darker. He was dressed in an old-fashioned way, like a young English man from the 1940s, with his white buttoned-up shirt, suspenders, and a beige coat that was a couple of sizes bigger than it was supposed to be. Nevertheless, he looked just as breathtakingly handsome as in real life.

Yuuta took off his wool-felt fedora hat, greeting her with a polite bow the moment their eyes met. He was just as timid and awkward; his cobalt eyes never stayed long enough to be locked with hers, but they were honest—the way they shimmered in adoration at the sight of her, painted with both suppressed desire and affection.

He called her with a name—a surname, she assumed, one that she didn’t recognize, but it didn’t feel quite as strange in her ears as it should have been. It was the first time she heard it, and yet, it almost felt like it was her own.

Her body went on autopilot, words flowing from her mouth before she could process the situation. It was like she was residing in someone else’s body, just a bystander. “Good morning to you, too,” she said, bowing her head.“Okkotsu-sama.”

He displayed a mix between a smile and a wince. “Must you refer to me in such a way again?”

“Well, I thought we’d agreed to call each other by our names yesterday,” she heard herself correcting him in a playful manner. “But someone seemed to change his mind.”

He fidgeted a little, his cheeks smeared with scarlet. “I’m… I’m feeling rather embarrassed.”

“If you feel embarrassed calling me, a commoner, by my name, how do you think I feel to be addressing a young nobleman such as yourself without any honorifics as you requested?” 

“Well, I…” Unable to compose a retort, Yuuta sighed in defeat, though his amusement was still sketched vividly on his face. “You’re quite stubborn, aren’t you? We’ve only met for a few days, but I already can see myself never winning an argument against you.”

“Well, isn’t it nice to lose sometimes?” She tossed him a smirk, returning half of her attention to continue swabbing the dust off the shelves. “You already have everything you want under your feet, after all. I think it’ll serve as a nice change.”

“Not everything,” he said, staring at her fondly, like a young boy captivated by a lovely dancer on stage. A thousand messages remained unspoken, and yet, with butterflies swirling in her stomach, she could somehow read each one.

“Maybe not yet,” she said, a glimmer of seduction on her lips. 

He gulps. 

Taking off his coat and letting it hang loosely on one arm, Yuuta shortened the distance between them with nervous steps. They chatted for a bit, feeling grateful that it was still quite early in the morning for other patrons to visit. It was easy to melt the ice between them, but only because she knew how, and watching him loosen up around her filled her with some sort of achievement. 

Sometimes, when their conversation died for a few seconds of comforting silence, she’d catch him looking at her with a half-dazed look on his face.

“What is it?” she asked, despite already knowing the answer. “You’re staring again.”

“Oh, umm…” Though mortified, he still used the chance to confess. “I just thought… You look beautiful today.” He sported a soft smile, one that melted her heart the same way his roseate cheeks did. It was also, she realized, the same one that bore the exact look like the one she saw in real life. 

“Why, thank you,” she replied, a hint of teasing in her voice. “Hopefully, you’re not implying I didn’tlook beautiful yesterday.” 

He blanched. “No, of course not! You’re always beautiful! Ever since I first saw you, you’ve always… been…” At the sight of her covering her smile behind her hand, he exhaled in relief, resting his hat on his chest. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’m sorry,” she giggled, putting her duster away before dismantling her apron. “Now, if you’d follow me, Okkotsu-sama, I will show you where—” 

He cut her off with a gentle call of her name—her first name—and it staggered her to her feet. Her body might come to a halt because of how lovely her name sounded in his voice—in that sweet tone of his—but her heart froze because it was her name that rolled off his tongue. Her actual name.

That was when she realized: the person who she believed to be a stranger, was herself. And it had occurred all the time in her other dreams, yes, but this one felt… real. 

“T-there,” he stammered, flushed. “I called you by your name. Can you please stop addressing me that way now?”

She felt her lips curving upward. Her voice had never sounded as sweet as  it was when she said, “Yuuta.”

His blush unfurled from his neck to his cheekbones, like red tulip burgeoning on pure white snow. “Thank—” he stopped to swallow his breath, unable to maintain his gaze. “Thank you.”

Tittering lightly at his behavior, she took him by the hand. “Shall we?” 

She guided him further inside the library, introducing one title after another with her fingertips dancing between books. They weren’t as dusty as they were in her reality, the titles far from familiar to her eyes. Weird, she thought, as she was confident that she had memorized most of the books sitting on that particular shelf. Even when she’d visited the library earlier that morning before her shift started, her eyes had roamed along the same section. 

“Which book would you like to read today, Yuu?”

He still grew adorably tense every time his name slipped through her lips,  especially like that, but he was getting used to it. “I’m—I’m not yet sure. Will you choose one for me?”

“Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Unfortunately, I have a peculiar taste when it comes to books—”

“I trust you,” Yuuta said, smiling a tad wider than before, perfect teeth peeking behind soft red lips. 

“Well then…” She stood on her toes to reach the book she’d been excited to show him all day. “Shall we start with this one?”

The vision ended without her knowing what book it was or the line between her dream and reality. They stood out so vividly—the scenery, his expressions, the lines she’d exchanged with him—that it took her a few good minutes to convince herself that it was just a dream and not a memory.

She couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night. 

***

Her dream follows her every step like a shadow, even in her wake.

Saturday comes, and she finds herself in the library again, just as she promised him. Compared to what she’s seen in her dream, this place is indeed old, with walls standing in dire need of being repainted and books collecting more specks of dust than they have readers flipping through their pages. But the faint smell of sandalwood combined with the orange tint of sunlight sneaking through the windows is always calming. Crowds don’t gather much around here—maybe four or five people at most—and the tranquility consoles her. There’s only a soft thrum of acoustic guitar playing through the speakers that keep her company—

“You’re looking for this one?”

—and Yuuta.

“Yes, indeed, my good sir.” She takes the book from his hand. “Thank goodness we didn’t have to bump heads today.”

“Well, I’d promised you not to,” he chuckles. “Though I certainly wouldn’t mind.”

He’s wearing spectacles today, round glasses adding a layer of maturity to his youthful face. Combined with his long brown coat accentuating his height, he looks even more handsome, her stomach tingling whenever his eyes flicker back toward hers. He tilts his head slightly to the side, one eyebrow raised in curiosity as he tries to read her expression. “Is there something wrong? You’re staring at me. I-is it my joke? Was that rude? Please don’t take it the wrong way—”

“No, calm down,” she can’t help but giggle despite being embarrassed for getting caught in the act. “Sorry, I was just staring because of your, umm… height.” It is true, though not completely.

“My height?”

“Yeah. Must be nice being so tall, huh? I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach it, and I still needed your help.”

He blinks, noticeably surprised, though she’s not sure whether it’s her grumbling or her childish pout that bewilders him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he says, returning to his gentle smile. “I just… didn’t think you’d say that.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean you specifically. You just remind me of my boyfriend.” He seems surprised, yet again, but instead of restoring his smile, this time he turns quiet. She feels the need to explain. “He’s so tall, you see. Taller than you, even. And he always makes fun of me for my height, like moving my coffee cups to a higher shelf just so he can watch me beg him for help. He’s a bit of a prankster.”

Yuuta chews on the inside of his cheek, tucking his chin. “I wouldn’t have made fun of you,” he says quietly after a moment of confusing silence. “I will never make fun of you.”

The sudden solemnity in his voice feels heavy on her ears. “You don’t think I’m short?”

“I  think you’re perfect.” He lifts his face, suddenly blurting out his words like he’s in a debate he desperately tries to win. Staggered by it, she can only stare. He turns flushed. “I—I mean, being short makes you look cute, like a child. N-not saying I’m into kids—I’m not a pedophile, I swear—”

“That sounds exactly like what a pedophile would say.”

His jaw drops. A giggle escapes her. And when she laughs, he does it too, the sound so warm and comforting that it makes her feel like she’s sitting in front of a cozy fireplace.

She returns her gaze to the shelf. “So, Okkotsu-san,” she teases, “which book would you like to read today? Can’t be this one ’cause I got it first,” she grins, lifting the book she held in her arms.

“Which you only got because of my help.”

“True, but the point still stands.”

Her childishness never fails to amuse him. “Hmm, I’m not yet sure. Will you choose one for me?”

She freezes, her heartstrings playing a familiar symphony. She opens her mouth, hesitates, but then decides to say what her memory tells her to do, “Unfortunately, I have a peculiar taste when it comes to books—”

“I trust you.”

From skipping a beat to racing twice as fast, her heart feels foreign in her own chest. “Umm… Okay.”

Yuuta tilts his head, examining her. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, no, I’m fine. I just remembered something, uhh, something to do at home. Later. Anyway,” she hastily averts her gaze, her eyebrows tied in a knot as she tries to understand is this what deja vu feels like? She searches for a book, trying to be at ease despite her stomach swirling uneasily. “Shall we start with this one?”

Yuuta’s frown stays for only a second longer before he breaks into another smile. “Sure.” 

***

Weekdays are reserved for Satoru, but weekends…

Weekends are the days when her heart can finally dance and smile and live. And every song starts and ends with his name: Yuuta.

Satoru always has plans every weekend, plans that don’t involve her, not anymore. She did this to herself, mostly by declining his offers to mingle with his friends and co-workers until, eventually, he stopped asking. It’s not that she doesn’t want to go; she just no longer has the energy to keep up with hours of his social life when all she does is sit at the corner, doing nothing but sip on her drink and waste her phone battery to pass the time. 

Satoru’s friends are nice, but they don’t really resonate with her in the way she would love it to be. Shoko smokes too much. Suguru judges her taste in anything behind his angelic, saccharine smile. Haibara is exceptionally energetic that he tires her simply by looking at him. Mei Mei visits the girls’ bathroom once every twenty minutes to check on her little brother, and Nanami… Well, Nanami is all right. They could spend hours just grousing over how terrible it was being a corporate slave, but he’s not there often, taking away the small chance she has to make herself visible. Satoru would bring her into conversation occasionally, but as soon as he got a nod or two, he’d focus on Suguru, who, for some reason, always knew how to ruffle his feathers.

So, the routine starts. Friday nights are for his co-workers. Saturdays are for his college mates. And Sundays… Well, Sundays are supposed to be filled with breakfast in bed and bodies tangled under the sheets with her, but Satoru has forgotten his promise a long time ago, using them to regain all the sleep hours he’s been missing the days before instead of having some quality time to catch up with his lover. But it’s fine. She’s learned how to make the best of her time, finding companies in books that never make empty promises nor offer her disappointment the way he does. And now she finds an even better option. 

She meets Yuuta every weekend when the sun is a couple of hours away from setting. They don’t chat for long as their conversations are always reserved for the little coffee shop gathering (she’s trying to avoid the word ’date’) that always occurs after a few pleasant hours of reading. They begin to grow comfortable with each other, much easier than she thought they would, and very quickly, as if they were old friends reconciling for the time they’ve lost. Maybe even more than old friends—a thought that should scare her. 

At the library, she spends most of their hours poring over her chosen book for the day while stealing glances at him. More often than not, she’ll catch him doing the same, but whenever their gazes meet, he’ll look away with his face steaming, busying himself at once by scribbling something incoherent, most likely, down on his paper.

Today is a rare occasion. He’s been keeping his gaze fixated on his own writings; the world seemingly turns obscure around him. His eyebrows taut together as he sinks more profoundly into his thoughts, a habit that she finds beguiling. His raven hair seems a shade lighter as the evening sun casts its light upon his face, basking him with such a warm, beautiful glow.

He really does look like a painting, she admires, stealing glances at him from behind her book. The perfect shape of his nose, his skin as pure as the driven snow, the way he’s so fixated on his story, drowning inside his imagination… It’s easy to be bewitched by his beauty.

She must be careful not to let her endless praise slip through her mouth. “So focused,” she coos, choosing to act mischievously instead, which earns her a little smile. “Writing a new scene? I thought you’d finished your draft.”

He looks up from his paper, meeting her eyes. They linger briefly as if it was hard for him to look away once he’d set his eyes on her. Though it happens all the time, she can never get used to it. 

He smiles quietly to himself, a soft blush painting his features. “Just a short one.”

She hums in response. Having trouble refocusing on the passage she just read now that he’s giving her attention, she throws another question at him. “Why aren’t you using a laptop? I mean, it would’ve been a lot easier, right?”

“Not fond of it,” he responds, re-reading the words he just wrote. “I feel more like a writer this way.” When he notices her tittering, he arches his brow. “What?”

“You sound like my father.”

He scrunches his nose. It’s cute. “Then I’m sure your father is a brilliant, tech-savvy man.”

“I’m saying you have an old soul, the way you prefer to do things more traditionally.” She sinks further into her chair, opening a new page, eyes scanning the lines but not reading them. “Well, I guess that makes the two of us since I already have the e-book version of this on my iPad, yet I’m still here reading it in a library. How’s your story going so far?”

“Pretty well. I just came up with a really annoying character.” His smile is a bit different this time, somewhat impish. A new look on him that she instantly adores. “Inspired by someone.”

“You’re not talking about me, are you?”

Yuuta drags his pen over his note. “Character B begins to question whether she’s—”

She playfully slaps her book against his shoulder.

The more time she spends with him, the more she feels like he’s becoming a mystery she can’t solve. She’s closer to him, closer than any of her friends, but she knows there are secrets he tries to bury underneath those tender smiles. To her, Yuuta, with his eyes always seeming like they’re telling a different story—one that nearly drives him to the brink of tears—still appears like an incomplete puzzle. And if time allows her, she’d gladly collect every piece of him to perceive  him better.

***

Dreams are supposed to be strange. Nonsensical. Meaningless and easily forgotten. And yet, ever since Yuuta walked into her life, they’ve become anything but. Every detail stood more vividly than the memories of her own childhood, so vibrant with colors that it made it impossible for her to stray away from it even when she was awake. They occur every night, forming a chain of events beginning from the very first day she encountered him by chance in the library. 

In her dreams, they spent most of their time there, almost in the same way they did in real life. But while only weeks had passed by in reality, time flowed much faster here. She could tell that the season had changed from the clothes they wore to the coldness that kissed his cheek scarlet. There were never the same books lying between their hands, but she didn’t notice them at first, not as clearly as the changes in the air shared between them. 

They grew closer faster than they did in real life, fondness in the glances they covertly tossed to each other. Their voices were glazed more with adoration than mirth every time they laughed, and the smiles they shared were everlasting. Yuuta’s eyes lingered every time he had the chance to marvel at her features for a little while. Sometimes, they were lost in her darker hues. Sometimes, they remained longer than they should have on her lips, watching them move but not registering any words spoken. Sometimes, if she were lucky, she’d have the chance to gaze back into them, and he’d let her have a taste of the depth of the affection he held for her. And they’d let the moment pass just like that for a second or two, forcing time to slow down and their surroundings to reduce into a blur until they were the only two people left in the universe.

In one dream, when the serene evening rain tapped itself against the tall windows of her library, she saw Yuuta braving himself to touch her hand for the first time, just the slightest brush of his quivering fingertips against hers as they read from the same book, a touch so light it rivaled the softness of a zephyr’s kiss upon a baby’s strand. She could feel her face warming at the touch, a new sensation, but she didn’t hate it, not at all. If anything, it left her wanting more. The dream ended with them sharing secret smiles with themselves, innocent hearts kissed by the flame of first love.

Every night, this happens. And it’s like witnessing the beginning of a love story. Her love story. Though most of the time she feels like she’s inhabiting someone else’s body, it’s beginning to feel like…

I’m falling for him, too.

It’s a scary thought, but she puts no effort to stop it. After all, this is just a dream, isn’t it? I’m only falling for this version of him—the version that I, or rather, my mind, created. And that’s why he’s so perfect, right? Because that’s how I want him to be. It sounds like a perfect theory, and so she believes it wholeheartedly. 

Only on certain nights when exhaustion took a toll on her body did she manage to sleep without him visiting her mind, but that was simply because she wasn’t dreaming at all. It seems like she only has two options now: enter a dreamless sleep or fall into memory-like sequences that revolve around him and no one else.

Last night was no different.

She entered her dreamland, a burst of sunlight blinding her at once. She threw her stare down to avoid it, seeing her hands going in motion to accompany her moving legs. She could see the end of her plain, dark grey kimono swaying with every step, her feet covered in white socks that were split between her toes, matched by a pair of formal sandals made of rice straws. She was taking a stroll down one of the busiest streets of Tokyo—or at least, that was where she assumed they were. 

To say that the city appeared dissimilarly from the one she resided in now is an understatement—they were poles apart. The architectural design of the buildings embraced more of the historic European elements instead of the perfect blend of the traditional Japanese architecture and modernist designs they have now. The Western influence lay thickly in every aspect of life that she managed to identify in the short time she was there. From food, clothing, music, painting—everything was transformed by it. The city looked breathtaking and unsettling at the same time. 

She recalled seeing such scenery commemorated in one of the history books she studied in school. She was indeed in Tokyo—a couple of decades before it was bombed to the ground, turning the once beautiful city into nothing but dust and rubbles, drenched in the blood of more than a hundred thousand civilians during the Second World War.

 The thought made her blood curdle. 

���Are you all right?” 

Yuuta, appearing just as young as the first time she saw him in her dream, asked her worriedly. He was dressed in another set of Western clothing, looking exceptionally handsome in his white button-up shirt with his sleeves rolled up, a black tie, and a matching dark vest that highlighted the shape of his broad chest and lean waist. The wind ruffled his hair as he walked beside her, perfecting it by adding a little boyish charm, a perfect company to the blush on his cheeks that emerged from the late spring’s sunlight heat. 

The one thing that was missing was his smile, his face twisted in concern as he eyed her closely. “You haven’t said anything in a while… Am I boring you?”

“No, of course not,” she heard herself say, stepping to the side of the road to speak with him in private. He bent his head down to listen to her properly, not wanting her voice to be drowned by the murmurs of the passing crowd. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I just… I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” He repeated, both in disbelief and amusement. “Why is it so hard for me to imagine that?”

“It’s true,” she pouted. “Unlike you with your sweet, extravagant life, I’ve never had the pleasure of being invited to a concert before. I don’t know what to do once I’m there. I don’t know what to say to your friends. I don’t even think I’m dressed correctly for the occasion—Why are you laughing at me?!”

“I’m not.” He clearly was, even when he was trying to swallow every bit of his laughter. “I’m sorry. I know this is a new experience for you, but really, there’s no need for you to feel so anxious. All you have to do is sit down beside me and enjoy the show. You don’t have to say anything to my friends if you don’t want to. We could also just avoid them entirely if you think that could put you at ease.”

“But… I thought you wanted to discuss something with them after the show.”

He hummed as he pretended to cogitate on it, secretly smiling to himself. “Well, I suppose I could meet new business partners every other day, but being with you? When you’re so adorably nervous like this?” His grin was as beguiling to marvel at as the blush that kissed the apples of his cheeks. “That doesn’t happen every day now, does it?”

Speaking of cheeks—she was pinching them. Hard. “We haven’t met in two weeks, and suddenly, you’re a man with words now, are you?” He whimpered in pain, sputtering out his apology until she released him with a sigh. “Am I at least wearing the right clothes?” She spun herself once, giving him the chance to examine the details. Though her long sleeves were up to trend, she couldn’t help but think that the motif and shade of her kimono were a little dull. Most ladies her age wore bright-colored ones with bold, graphic patterns as their ornaments. Their fabrics were always made from silk or satin, unlike hers which was cheaply produced from cotton. She would never have let such trivial things bother her if she didn’t have to stand next to him at such a fancy event. She cared more about his reputation than her own, not wanting him to be judged more than he already was for spending most of his spare time wandering around with a lower-class woman such as herself. “This is the best kimono I have, but I don’t know if it’s enough—”

“You’re perfect,” he answered without waiting for her to complete her line. “You’re always perfect.”

She cast her gaze somewhere else, ignoring the heat rising to her face. “Well, if you say so…” she murmured diffidently. “I just want to look equal to you. You look so handsome with your suit and everything and I don’t…” —her voice turned small— “want my presence to ruin that.”

His shoulders slumped forward as he witnessed her usual confidence waning away. With tenderness in his touch, he took her hand between his own. “We don’t have to go if you don’t feel like it.”

She shook her head. “You’ve paid a high price for my ticket, I couldn’t—”

“I don’t care,” he squeezed her hand. “All I want is to see you having the best time of your life. I thought—since you said you often played classical music on your piano—watching a live orchestra in person would gladden you. But if it only worries you like this, I’d rather just spend another hour with you in the library.” He gave her a smile, as soft as the brush of his thumb over her knuckles. “Let’s do whatever you want today. Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”

He made her heart sing in ways she thought it couldn’t. “No, I want to go,” she confirmed. “I’m sorry, I just… I guess I thought about it too much.”

“It’s fine,” he assured her. “I think you look gorgeous as you are now, but if you’re still concerned about your outfit, why don’t we visit a shop real quick?”

“Huh? What are you—” She was tugged forward before she could finish, forced to hasten her steps to match his excited strides. “Yuuta—wait!” ***

Without taking a second to listen to her, he led her to the nearest gokufuya to find her a set of kimono that, in her opinion, would be better for the occasion.  They arrived with sweat coating their skins, their breathing ragged from all the running. “Can you dress her in the prettiest, most expensive kimono you have, please?” Yuuta promptly asked the owner with sparks in his eyes, taking her by surprise. 

A beautiful lady, maybe ten years above her age, who was dressed elegantly in a white kimono decorated in floral patterns, smiled understandingly at his request. “Of course. Could you please wait for a moment? I will prepare the changing room for you.”

“Yes, we’ll be waiting,” he replied.

Immediately after she walked away, leaving the two of them alone, she clutched her hand around his arm. “Yuuta, wait,” she warned him under her breath. “We should go. I don’t have any money.” Especially when you unnecessarily asked her for the most expensive one. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll pay.”

“Then, we really need to go,” she insisted, half-glowering at him. “What did I tell you about buying me expensive gifts? I don’t like it. It makes me feel guilty.”

“Well, fortunately for both of us,” he grinned, rather cheekily which was a rare look on his face. “I’m not buying you a gift. I’m renting it—ouch!”

She was pulling on his cheek again. “That’s the same!”

But Yuuta, with his cheek swollen and everything, remained stubborn till the end, refusing to leave the shop until she, at the very least, tried to put one on herself. 

The shopkeeper, who introduced herself as Utahime Iori, instructed two young assistants—Miwa and Momo—to accommodate them with their needs. With a polite bow, they led them further into the shop, granting them some privacy from the other visitors. “Let’s just do it for fun,” Yuuta said. “If you don’t find anything that suits your taste, we can go with your old one, I promise.” Not wanting to argue with a nobleman in front of three pairs of curious eyes, she sighed and followed as he said, begrudgingly.

Only just for fun, she muttered inwardly.

And indeed it was. Never in her life had she had the opportunity to try on such luxurious clothing. From silk to satin. Blue, green, and golden. From geometric patterns to feather-like designs—she was trying on everything the two girls asked her to. 

Yuuta sat on the little couch provided in the same space, waiting with his suit jacket folded around his arm and his invisible tail wagging behind him, all in anticipation. She could feel his excitement reverberating even from the fitting room she was in. 

His eyes matched the brightest stars in the night sky each time she allowed him to take a look, gazing at her with admiration so intense, it lit her skin on fire. She always pulled the curtains closed before he could muster his comment, knowing that it would be the same every time.

You’re so beautiful.

Before she could try on the next piece, Utahime walked inside the fitting room with her own choice of kimono. “Let’s try this one next, shall we?” Her assistants nodded, ready to follow her direction, but the lady stopped them before they began. “I’ll assist her with this one myself,” she said, earning herself a polite bow from the two before they excused themselves out of the room.

Utahime stepped closer, causing her to grow nervous for some reason. The room suddenly felt like it’d shrunk three times smaller with the amount of tension brewing between them. In her eyes, Utahime exuded elegance that only belonged to the nobility. She found herself tense under her scrutinizing stare, her tongue tied inside her mouth.

“Raise your arms for me?” Utahime broke the silence, to which she answered with a nod. The lady began by unraveling the sash, experienced hands moving so swiftly yet refined. “Your partner is very adorable,” Utahime said to her surprise, with a slight giggle that she didn’t expect to flow so airily from her mouth. She disrobed the outer layer of her kimono, preparing her for the new one. “Must be nice to find love at such a young age.”

“W-we’re not lovers.”

“You’re not?”

“No, Ma’am.” Why am I talking about my love life with a stranger? She thought, mortified. She followed Utahime’s guidance, sliding her arms through the long sleeves of the kimono she’d chosen for her. “We’re just, umm… Friends.” And it was true. Yuuta showered her with endless compliments every second he had the chance to, but not once had ever asked her to be his lover. And maybe that’s for the best, she couldn’t help but wonder, crestfallen over her own thoughts. Because at the end of the day…

We never truly belong in the same world, do we? 

She expected confusion to settle on the lady’s face, but it never did. It was as if she had known the truth all along. “I don’t think any of you wishes to stay that way for long,” Utahime said softly.

The truth came down as a blessing and torture at the same time. She couldn’t speak for his sake, but she knew exactly why she hadn’t spoken a word about her feelings, even with them growing this close to each other. He was blue blood while hers ran red. When was the last time she heard of a nobleman marrying a lowborn in this country? Never.

So, they could trifle with each other’s heart all they want; they could even own it if they wanted to, but it wouldn’t matter. They would never be together. 

“I keep telling myself not to come clean about my feelings for him,” she confessed quietly. “And even if I wanted to tell him, I wouldn’t know how to… put my feelings into words. For once, I’m embarrassed,” she chuckled a little to mask her emotions. “But, most of all, I’m… scared.”

I’m scared that he’ll say the truth. That the difference in our status is indeed something he can’t look past.

She wondered if Utahime could read the conflict she was battling inside, but if she did, she didn’t speak on it. Instead, like a mother would do to her child, she soothed her with gentle words. “Well, sometimes love can be so grand that we find it difficult to put it into words,” Utahime started, her lips curved up in a delicate smile. “But it’s fine, isn’t it? There are many ways to profess our love even without moving our lips. And a thousand more for us to understand the love they bestow upon us.” A faraway gaze manifested in her eyes as if she was reminiscing a past love. “We can feel it in their touch. We can hear it in their tone. We can see it in their gaze. Love is love no matter how we convey it,” the lady finished. “Our job as women, should our hearts beat for them, is to accept it and return it just the same.”

Her gaze turned vacant as she let Utahime wrap her obi around her waist, recalling every little kindness, every little joy Yuuta had granted her in the last few months they had known each other. And with it, she braved herself to wonder.

Even if it was only for a short while, wouldn’t it still be wonderful to be in love with him? To be loved by him? They were still young, so young. It would take another three to five years before he was urged to marry and—

That’s enough, right?

Even if he was forced to leave me afterward… Even if it would only hurt us in the end… Wouldn’t it be better to love a little than to not love at all? 

I want to.

I want to love him.

I already am in love with him and I know he feels the same way.

Our job as women, should our hearts beat for them, is to accept it and return it just the same.

I just have to… accept it.

“What if I want to give him more…?” she unconsciously mumbled loud enough for Utahime to catch it. He’d done so much for me, things that I might never be able to repay. And if it’s love he wants from me, if I can give that to him to make him feel as happy as he’s made me, I want him to give him so much more than he asks for. I want to love him harder than the way he loves me.

Smiling to herself, the older woman tied the final string, turning her sash into a beautiful, voluminous bow. Utahime adjusted her body to face the standing mirror before her, lightly squeezing her shoulders as their eyes met in the reflection. “Then he’ll be the luckiest man on earth,” she answered near her ear, letting her take the time to absorb the view.

Out of all the kimonos she’d tried, this one captured her heart the most, enveloping her in such beauty and grace that she could barely recognize herself. 

Her body was swaddled by a pretty violet shade that resembled a blooming lilac. The floral patterns embroidered the silk in such an intricate way that once it was worn, it appeared as if her every curve was embraced tightly by an endless string of white roses. 

“You know what looks better on me than I do, Iori-san,” she said, still staring at her reflection in disbelief. Before this, Momo had helped her redo her hair to match her outfit, tying it up in a beautiful braid that showcased her neckline and accentuated her facial features. It looked perfect combined with this kimono. Now, she appeared like a different person, elegant from head to toe. “I didn’t think this look would suit me. I’ve never worn this color before, or these patterns.”

“Oh, it was all that gentleman’s idea,” Utahime answered with a polite smile, her fingers curling around the curtain. “Everything was, from the color down to the patterns—especially the patterns.” She pushed the blind open, showcasing her latest masterpiece to the one admirer who had waited so patiently for her. “So, go on and show him how stunning his choices look on you.”

With her heart climbing up her throat, she spun her head around to see Yuuta slowly standing from his seat, his eyes turning rounder at the sight of her. She watched him swallow his breath, searching for words to say as blood pooled quickly on his face.

“You look…” he mumbled out as if he was in a trance. “Breathtaking…”

And quite literally, it seemed, judging from how breathless he was. The two assistants peeking from the corner of the room giggled to themselves, exchanging murmurs behind their fingers. 

Utahime approached her from behind, explaining something only for her ears to hear. “These white roses in the kimono you’re wearing hold several meanings,” she said, guiding her straying eyes back to the reflection in the mirror. She hovered her lean fingers above two separate flowers joined to form an ornament below her neckline. “A single white rose like this portrays the beauty of love at first sight. While these two right here”—she glided her hand to her left side, stopping to caress the small two roses printed on the fabric just a little under her shoulder— “symbolize purity. All together, they represent eternal love.” 

It was all that gentleman’s idea, she recalled Utahime’s lines. From the color down to the patterns—especially the patterns.

She turned flustered, steam filling her brain, but before she could reply, Utahime excused herself with a bow, disappearing behind the sliding door with a knowing smile written on her lips.

Suddenly, there were only two of them in the world.

She grew self-conscious, fiddling with her fingers. Never in her life had she ever been gazed at so passionately, so romantically by a man before that it left her feeling faint. “I, umm, I think I’m going to take this one, but I promise I’ll pay you back for it,” she said, not knowing how to act honestly even when her heart was filled to the brim with gratitude. 

Yuuta was still staring, mesmerized by every detail: the curls of her hair teasing her neck, the way the fabric hugged her curves, how perfect this color looked on her skin—everything.

She raised her hand over her face, hiding behind it. “Stop looking at me like that,” she grew timorous. But instead of doing as she wished, he took the same hand and curled his fingers around them.

There are many ways to profess our love even without moving our lips. And a thousand more for us to understand the love they bestow upon us.

Her eyes widened as he brought her hand closer to him. “Y-Yuuta—”

We can feel it in their touch. 

He placed a kiss on her skin, his lips caressing against the bumps of her knuckles. They were warm, warmer than she thought they’d be as his hand was always cold. The kiss was brief, but his lips remained close as he held her hand still, doing everything so softly as if she was made out of porcelain.

We can hear it in their tone. 

His voice was an instrument, and with it, he performed endless love songs with her name as his poem.

We can see it in their gaze.

Yuuta blinked his eyes open, and at first, she witnessed his affection, but underneath the tenderness of his gaze and the sweetness of his youthful face, laid the passion of a man, so burned with desire, it left her watching with bated breath. 

He wanted her carnally, desired her as much as he loved her.

“I always thought that you’d look gorgeous in this color, and I’m glad I was right,” he said, his hand slowly gliding to her wrist. The simple, innocent act felt so sinful as if he was undressing her, peeling her out of the kimono to satisfy his fantasy. It was so… thrilling. “But even if I had imagined it a thousand times before, nothing could ever come close to the way you look right now.” He drew his hand away, and she was so struck by it, she almost reached out to beg him for more. Yuuta slid his hand into the pocket of his trousers, retrieving the other gift he had prepared for her today. It was a hairpin—a kanzashi, they called it—in the shape of a yellow camellia flower. He placed it upon her hair, the perfect final touch to the perfect lady. He sighed, full of longing, his hand sliding down to her face. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he whispered, his thumb skating over her lips. “The only woman I want to see for the rest of my life.”

She held her breath, her chin trapped between his fingers. He leaned close, or maybe she did, she couldn’t tell, so distracted by the words he spoke and the way he—

“I’m sorry to bother you,” one of the assistants, Miwa, who was sitting politely on her heels, slid the door open without knowing. “Utahime-sama would like to know if—Oh!” She squeaked at the sight of them, her eyes nearly popping out of their sockets as she clamped her mouth with both hands. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt!” She pressed her head to the ground, cold sweat dampening her face. “I was—We wanted to ask whether you’d like to try on something else—oh, Gods, I’m terribly sorry—” she continued to ramble on her own, completely shattering whatever magic laid between them before. 

Clearing her throat, she took a step away from him the same way he distanced himself, tossing her gaze anywhere but him. 

“W-we’d like to take this one please, thank you,” Yuuta said, face flushed.

“Yes, Okkotsu-sama—understood!” Giving another deep bow, she quickly excused herself, scuttering away while mumbling to herself, “What do I do what do I do what do I do I have no money Utahime-sama is going to send me back to the village what about my brother he’s still so young what are we going to eat what if we get eaten by a bear oh I’m going to die”

“She does not have one positive thought in her brain, does she?” She forced a chuckle out of her despite still finding the air heavy to breathe in. 

Yuuta stood soundlessly, still unable to meet her gaze, not even for a second. But that was fine. She wouldn’t have known what to do if he did. After all—

Suddenly, he called out her name, a little bit louder than he’d intended due to his nervousness. “Y-yes, Yuu?”

He took her hand, holding it tightly between his own. He locked their eyes together, causing her to gulp. “After the concert,” he said, his ears flaming red. “C-can we continue—”

Everything suddenly turned blank.

She blinked her eyes open, greeted by the sight of her ceilings.

When she was younger—many, many years ago—her mother used to splash water on her face to rip her apart from her sweetest dream, but it never, never felt this excruciating, this shocking, this infuriating to wake up before. What was he going to ask me? She mused, even when she still felt disoriented after the sudden change of reality. 

’Can we continue seeing each other?’

’Can we continue talking somewhere private?’ 

’Can we continue… where we left off?’  

What was it?!

Her heart raced at the thought. God, she hugged her knees to her chest, burying her face in them, this is worse than having my favorite show end in a cliffhanger. She almost groaned loudly out of frustration—she would’ve if Satoru hadn't been sleeping next to her.

Right. Satoru.

She whirled her head to the side, watching her boyfriend sprawling on the sheets, nearly taking most of the bed and hogging the blanket to himself. Next to him, a digital clock sat on the nightstand.

04.32 am. 

There’s still time before I have to go to work. If I fall asleep now… will I dream of him again? Will I find out the question he asked me? She immediately shook her head, throwing herself back to the bed. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t be thinking of him, not like that.

Satoru, she reminded herself as she lay on her side, her eyes slowly turning heavy as she continued to stare vacantly at the wall. I’m with Satoru. Yuuta is just a dream.

“Everything was just…” she mumbled, her lids drawing close like a curtain. “…a dream.”

A dream and nothing more.

***

Next chapter

[realdramalove69]

Commission: Not So Empty Nest Part 1

The day finally came when Nick had to say goodbye to his mother. He had dreaded this day, but was also excited to be finally heading off to college. They had spent all day yesterday loading up his car and making sure he had everything he needed before doing the four hour drive to his new dorm.

As long as he can remember it had always just been him and Maria. His mom had had him when she was young, 18 and just out of high school, but she made sure he never wanted for anything. They had shared small apartments, late nights working on homework, and now she was getting ready to say goodbye to her only child.

The night before as they ate pizza and watched movies Nick looked at his mom, admiring how beautiful and youthful she still was. Long silky black hair, a curvy body and olive toned skin. They had the same dark brown eyes but Nick was paler and more lanky than his mother. He had gotten his height from his father’s side (according to her) and stood 8 inches taller than his mother’s 5’4” stature.

Nick set down his plate on the coffee table and turned to his mom, his heart pounding and his nerves building in anticipation of him leaving. He had been rehearsing this conversation in his head all day and knew if he didn’t say it now he would never be able to.

“Mom?” Nick started, his voice sounding childlike.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Maria replied, looking at her son and smiling.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Since I got accepted into college really. But I wanted to ask you if you were maybe going to start dating again once I’m gone?”

Maria looked down at her hands and picked at her pizza. “Sweetie you don’t need to worry about me–”

“I know. You’ve told me my whole life. But now you’re going to be alone and I don’t want you here alone without someone here to love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Maria didn’t know what to say. She had put off dating these last 18 years, focusing solely on her son and her job as a hairdresser. “I promise, Nick, that I will be fine. Of course I will miss having you around but I don’t need to get married or anything like that.”

Nick tried to hide his disappointment. He had tried this once before when he was younger, begging his mom for more siblings and a dad, but she had shooed him off saying she didn’t have time.

“It’s just something to think about, mom,” Nick replied. “In case you get lonely.”

Maria scooted on the couch closer to her son and hugged him, ruffling his hair and kissing the top of his head. “I appreciate you looking out for me, honey. I’ll think about entering the dating scene again. I promise.”

Nick looked up at her and smiled. “Thanks. I’d feel better about going to school knowing you won’t be bored and alone.”

“Oh, Nicky, I’m not going to be bored. I’ll find some new hobbies to try or something.” She kissed his head and went back to eating the pizza.

The next morning Maria waved her son goodbye as he drove off, tears in her eyes as she watched her baby boy heading off to become the chemist and doctor he had always dreamed of. She sighed and crossed her arms, hugging herself as she felt the impending boredom and loneliness that comes with being an empty nester. She hated to admit that her son was right; she was nervous about being left here alone without him. Maybe she should download a dating app?

Maria chuckled and shook her head. Don’t be hasty, Maria. It’s only been five minutes.

To distract herself, Maria decided to head to the gym. She had always loved working out and keeping in shape, her toned body proved it. She hadn’t ever lost the bit of chub on her thighs and belly from pregnancy, but no one could deny she was absolutely gorgeous.

Dressed in a tight light blue yoga pants and bra set, Maria put in her headphones and started her run on the treadmill. She had been running for about twenty minutes when a man around her age hopped on the one next to her. She smiled politely at him, feeling a warmth in her cheeks when she noticed how attractive he was. Tall and tan with salt and pepper hair and kind tawny eyes. He had some stubble but didn’t look unkempt. Pushing her shoulders back a little, Maria continued her pace trying not to think about the man next to her.

He started his run, his pace about the same as hers. They ran together in silence for another fifteen minutes before Maria slowed down to a walk, hands on her head as she caught her breath. The man slowed down as well, obviously not as avid a runner as Maria. He clutched his side and said something to her.

“Sorry I couldn’t hear you,” Maria responded, taking her headphones out. “What did you say?”

“I said, you’re a really great runner,” the man gasped, smiling big and trying to catch his breath. “I admittedly only came over here to talk to you but you were so in the zone I didn’t want to bug you.”

Maria’s cheeks grew redder. “Oh, well your form looked good anyways!”

The man extended a hand. “John.”

Maria shook it. “Maria. Nice to meet you. Are you new to this gym? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

“Just moved to town about two weeks ago.” John sighed. “Sorry if I’m being too forward. I don’t normally walk up to women like this…”

“No, no it’s okay!” The words of her son from the night before echoed in her head as she stared at this handsome man in front of her. “Do you want to grab a smoothie? There’s a great place a couple doors down.”

John smiled. “I’d love that.”

The two walked out of the gym and to the smoothie cafe. They grabbed their drinks and sat across from each other, drinking and chatting.

“What made you move here?” Maria asked. She took a long sip from her drink and looked him in the eyes.

“Work. I got promoted and they wanted me to head up the lab out here.”

“Lab? Like a research lab?”

“Yeah, I’m an endocrinologist and chemist studying hormonal therapies and stuff like that. Boring stuff.”

“No! My son actually just left today for college. He’s studying chemistry and biology. In high school he had all this really hard homework. I barely understood any of it but he’s so smart.”

“You have a son?” The man looked surprised. Maria mentally slapped herself, not thinking about if the man even wanted or liked kids.

“Uh, yeah. My son Nick. He’s all grown up now.” Maria drank her smoothie nervously. “Do you have any kids?”

The man smiled and shook his head. “No, I never got around to it I guess. I’ve always wanted a big family though. Lots of babies and kids to take care of. A big pregnant wife to greet me when I get home everyday.”

Maria sighed in relief, seeing John look her up and down even more. “Nick always bugged me for younger siblings but, you know, single mom. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I couldn’t afford another baby.”

“You’re still young, Maria. You could definitely still give your son younger siblings.” John gently grabbed her hand and held it. Maria blushed and smiled, smitten by this man she had met barely an hour ago. “I’d love to take you to dinner tonight. If you’re free.”

Maria nodded eagerly. “I’d like that a lot.”

After the first date Maria knew he was the one. He was charming, handsome, tall, funny and kind. Everything her old boyfriends would never be. She eagerly called her son that night after she got home, not realizing how late it was when he answered.

“Mom? Is everything ok?” Nick asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Maria looked at the clock. “Oh shoot, honey sorry I didn’t realize the time. Did you get settled in okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. My roommate is really nice.” Nick kept his voice quiet. “Orientation is tomorrow and I got my class schedule so I’ll be pretty busy.”

“That’s good. I’m so proud of you, Nicky. And I don’t want you to worry about me…I met someone today at the gym.”

Nick smiled wide. “Wow! Mom, I'm so glad. What’s his name?”

“John. He’s an endocrinologist and studies fertility and other science stuff. I think you two will get along.”

“He sounds great. I hope it goes well, mom.” Nick yawned.

“I’ll let you go, sweetheart. Call me and text me when you can. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Nick hung up and laid back down, smiling and sighing in relief. Thank god she’s putting herself back out there.

John didn’t come inside that first night, despite Maria wanting him too. In fact, he didn’t come inside her home until date number 3. They spent the last few days together going on little adventures around the city and now Maria finally had him on her couch.

Maria poured them some red wine, handing a glass to John who took it nervously. She noticed his hand shaking a bit and scooted closer, grabbing his arm and leaning on his shoulder.

“Nervous?” Maria purred. “Come on, I don’t bite.”

“Maria,” John started, a tremble in his voice. “I need to confess something to you.”

Maria looked at him confused, leaning up a bit and holding his hand. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

“Nothing! Nothing is wrong, it's just that…I’ve fallen for you. Hard. I know it sounds crazy and we barely met but–” John pulled a ring out of his pocket and got on one knee. “Will you marry me?”

Maria felt tears in her eyes, her hands going to her mouth as she smiled and nodded. “Yes! Oh my god this is crazy but yes! I love you too.”

John put the ring on her finger and kissed her, his hands around her waist as she held his face.

“I didn’t ever think I’d fall in love but I just knew from the moment I saw you,” John gasped between kisses. “You’re so beautiful and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Maria smiled wider. “Let’s get married tonight. I have a friend at the courthouse. We can get it done in an hour.”

John nodded and kissed her again. “Go put on your prettiest dress!”

Maria wore her only white dress: a short spaghetti strap dress that hugged her curves and held her perky tits perfectly. John grabbed a button down and the two of them headed to the courthouse and were wedded within the hour. John drove them to a nice hotel and got the honeymoon suite, carrying his new bride through the door and popping bottles of champagne.

“Cheers!” John clinked his glass against hers. “To Mrs. Grant.”

Maria kissed him and took a sip. “Mm thank you, Mr. Grant.”

Maria looked her new husband up and down, grabbing him by the collar and kissing him deeply. She pulled back for a moment and chugged the rest of her drink, setting her glass down before ripping his shirt off of him and running her hands up and down his torso. John grunted as she unbuckled his pants, pulling them down and revealing his hard cock.

“Wow, so big already for your new wife?” Maria got on her knees and licked his shaft up and down. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone.” She licked his tip before taking him in her mouth, feeling his cock in the back of her throat as she moaned.

John groaned and held her head against his dick. “Ohhh fuck baby you’re so good to me.” He pulled her off him. “But I wanna cum in your pussy.”

Maria looked up at her new husband. “Did you bring a condom? I’m not on the pill…”

John shook his head. “My wife should have babies in her belly, don’t you think?”

Maria hesitated. She hadn’t considered having more kids so soon. “I don’t know, John…” He shoved his cock back in her mouth and down her throat.

“You’ll look so good with a big belly, Maria. Waddling around with my babies inside you. Don’t you want that? For me?”

Maria sucked on his tip before gasping for air again. “You want babies with me?” She stood and jumped in his arms. “I’ll have your babies, John.”

John smiled wider, kissing her and taking her to the bed, laying her down on her back. “I’m going to make you a mommy again!” In a quick thrust he was inside her, filling her tight pusy for the first time. Maria gasped at the sensation, her hands holding her flopping tits as she arched her back, cumming instantly.

“Oh god yes! Don’t stop until I’m pregnant!” Maria squealed and gasped, John grabbing her hips and lifting her against him, getting deeper into her.

“I’m going to put so many babies in you, Maria!” With another thrust, John shot his load deep into her, filling her womb with his seed. He collapsed on top of her, the two of them breahting heavily.

“You really did it,” Maria muttered in her orgasmic daze. “I’m going to be a mommy again.”

John kissed her neck and nibbled her ear. “I’m going to keep breeding you all night long.”

They spent that night and the next few nights fucking non-stop. John moved her into his large house in the suburbs and bent her over whenever he could, fucking another load into her fertile pussy. It didn’t take long to know she was pregnant; the morning sickness hit first only two weeks after their wedding, the sound of her hurling making John smile wide. A week later she took a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive. She cried in John’s arms, smiling and kissing him as he rubbed her belly excitedly.

As they ate dinner that night, John noticed Maria’s somber expression. “Is something wrong, sweetie?”

Maria looked up at him. “Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about Nick. I know he thinks I’m crazy for marrying you so fast and now I’m pregnant and I just…don’t know what to say to him.”

John grabbed her hand gently. “It’s probably best to tell him in person. And you don’t want to interfere with his first semester when he’s still getting used to everything. Besides, you won’t be showing that much in just a few months.”

Maria squeezed his hand and smiled. “You’re right. I know he’s excited to meet you and he’ll be even more excited to have a baby sibling.”

A few more weeks passed and so did the morning sickness. They had their first ultrasound scheduled for 9 weeks, the doctor a friend of John’s. The morning of the appointment Maria stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror, noticing the small pudge in her belly. She cupped it, feeling her soft skin bulging in a familiar way. Her hands moved up to her breasts, noticing how much more sensitive they felt as she massaged them. Even her ass was starting to look a little bigger, her hips already wide but getting prepared for her next pregnancy.

With a smirk, Maria walked naked out of the bathroom and posed in front of the bed, pushing her belly out more and giggling as John looked up from his phone. “Baby look how big I am already,” she pouted teasingly. “I’ve got a little belly already.”

John stood, a smile and shock mixing on his face as he cupped the gentle swell and felt the firm belly under her soft skin. “Wow, you’re growing already! This is amazing.”

“It’s not so amazing for my wardrobe. I didn’t think I’d be showing this fast.”

“Maybe it’s more than one?” John kept rubbing the firm bump, mesmerized by it. “My babies are in here.”

“Baby. Just one. I can’t imagine having more than one at a time.” Maria placed her hands on his and kissed him. “Now get dressed, our appointment is soon.”

Maria struggled to get any of her jeans to fit and instead put on yoga pants and a large t-shirt, hiding her bump. She groaned and winced as the tight bra dug into her sensitive breasts. I’ll need to go shopping this week, she thought to herself.

They got in the car and were soon at the clinic. Maria sat in the waiting room holding her husband’s hand. Looking around the room and seeing the other couples there, women in various stages of pregnancy, babies in strollers, she couldn’t help but get teary eyed. John squeezed her hand, noticing the tears.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

Maria shook her head. “Yeah, sorry it just hit me that we’re gonna have a baby.” John smiled and kissed her. “I’m so excited to see them.”

A nurse came out of the office door and called for them. “Maria? Maria Grant?”

John helped her up and the two followed her to a small exam room where she sat on a table, leaning back slightly.

“Alright, I’m going to take a few intake questions and then the doctor will be in shortly to do an ultrasound. We’ll also need to get some bloodwork done before you leave today.”

Maria nodded along, answering the intake questions and holding John’s hand as he stood beside her. She could hear her heart beating in her ears, the idea of multiples playing in the back of her head as the nurse left and John pulled her shirt back over the noticeable bump.

“Wow baby, I can’t believe how round you are already,” John kissed her belly.

“John, I’m going to get so fat with this baby I can just tell,” Maria pouted. John kissed her again and chuckled.

“You’ll look so beautiful full term and round with my child. I promise.”

Before Maria could respond the door opened and a short man walked in with the same nurse from before.

“Good morning Mrs. Grant,” the short man chirped. “Always a pleasure to see you, Dr. Grant. My name is Dr. Sheen. I see we are here for our 9 week ultrasound. Now, just relax and we will see what’s going on in there.” He put on gloves and squirted the gel on Maria’s belly, making the woman shiver. “Some light pressure as I try to get a clear picture.”

Maria squeezed John’s hand tighter as she held her breath, staring at the gray screen and trying to decipher the blobs. “Is that the baby?” she asked hesitantly.

The doctor smiled. “That is one of your babies yes.”

Maria’s heart skipped a beat and John stiffened beside her. “One?” he muttered, a smile growing on his face. “There’s more than one?”

“You mean, like twins?” Maria asked, looking between the two men.

“Oh I think it’s more than twins. I count…six fetuses,” the doctor circled them on the screen, labeling them A through F. “Sextuplets are rare but you seem to have a strong uterus. I’m curious to see what your blood tests show.”

“Sorry, did you say six?” Maria gasped. “John! I can’t carry six babies!” Tears ran down her cheeks as she stared between her husband and her growing belly. “I’m going to get too big and the babies what if they’re too small and come early–”

John held her and tried to get her to calm down. “Hey, hey,” he half whispered to her. “I’m going to be there with you every step of the way, don't worry. You’re going to carry them just fine. Me and Dr. Sheen will make sure of it.”

Maria calmed down slightly, holding John and her belly. “I’m sorry, it’s just a lot to take in.”

The doctor smiled and explained to her what she would need to do in order to carry six babies. Vitamins, supplements, upping her calorie intake. John assured the doctor that he would take care of her and make sure she and the babies were safe and sound.

The couple walked out of the office, Maria still in shock, and back to the car. John hugged her tightly before helping her sit in the passenger side. “Everything is going to be just fine, I promise.”

Maria nodded, rubbing her belly and taking his hand as he started the car. “Nick is for sure getting his wish for siblings,” she giggled.

Christmas break came faster than Maria anticipated. In the weeks since finding out she was having sextuplets her body grew faster, clothes ripping daily it seemed now as she refused to buy bigger ones.

“I’m growing so fast I’ll just outgrow anything else I buy” she complained one evening to her husband, the two of them sitting in bed and rubbing her bulging belly.

At 23 weeks with sextuplets Maria felt gigantic. She looked bigger than most women did with twins and she had still so long to go. Her skin was stretched tight, covered in stretch marks and the bumps from her babies kicking. John couldn’t get enough of her growing body, constantly rubbing her belly or breasts, marveling at how wide her hips were growing.

“Nick will be home tomorrow. I’m so scared of his reaction to this,” Maria groaned. “What if he’s upset we didn’t tell him sooner?”

John kissed her. “Don’t worry, he’s going to be so happy for you. I promise.”

Maria smiled and snuggled up to her baby daddy, her belly resting between them. “I know you’re right but I’m allowed to be nervous.”

The next morning Maria waddled around the house cleaning and making sure everything was in order for Nick’s arrival. She had moved into John’s house after they got married, making sure Nick still had his own room set up the same way it was in their apartment.

John came up behind her in the kitchen, lifting her belly and kissing her neck as she tried to finish the cookies she was making. “You need to go sit and rest,” he said with a smile.

“I will after I finish these. I want everything to be perfect.” Maria kissed him and put the cookies in the oven. “He’ll be here any minute.”

John rubbed her belly more, seeing his babies kicking. “I’ll finish the cookies. You go sit and rest. Doctor’s orders.” He chuckled and lightly spanked her ass.

Maria sighed but agreed, gratefully waddling to the living room and sitting on the couch, putting her swollen feet on the coffee table. She texted Nick to see how far he was, nervous he would get lost on his way to their new home.

Nick was getting nervous himself. He was happy his mom had found a new guy but getting married so fast made him worry. John sounded great and Nick couldn’t help but picture his new dad helping him with his college medical work. He drove through the fancy suburb, noticing the large houses and perfect lawns.

The lights outside turned on as Nick turned his car off, the sun setting earlier now that it was December. He was excited to see his mom for the first time in months. Their FaceTimes had gotten more brief the last month and her responses more vague. With a deep sigh he knocked on the door.

Maria heard the knock and John waved at her to stay seated, heading to answer it. She didn’t listen, standing awkwardly as her husband let her son into the house.

“Hey!” John opened the door wide with a smile. “You must be Nick. Come on in. I’m John.” John extended a hand and Nick shook it before coming inside.

Nick looked his new dad up and down, noticing his bright eyes and salt and pepper hair. He was taller than Nick but a couple inches, his shoulders broader too. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Your moms in the living room. Come on.”

John took Nick down the short hallway and into the living room where Maria stokd waiting, her belly huge in her hands as she stood before her son. “Nicky! I’m so happy you’re home!” She waddled over and tried to hug him, her belly pressing into him awkwardly.

Nick's jaw dropped at the sight of her, panic and a tingly feeling mixing in his stomach at the sight of her stretched belly. “M-mom? You’re…you’re pregnant! But how…? How are you so big already?” He stuttered, gingerly touching her bare belly as though he didn’t believe it was real.

“Nick, I wanted to tell you so badly but we felt it was best to tell you in person,” Maria said. “John and I didn’t anticipate me growing so fast but I’m pregnant with sextuplets—-”

“Sextuplets!” Nick blurted.

“Honey, I know it’s a lot to take in but I promise I’m healthy and your baby brothers and sisters are healthy and kicking.” Maria placed her son's hand on her belly so he could feel them. Nick could see the tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner I know I should have.”

Nick smiled and rubbed her belly before hugging her. “It’s okay mom. I’m just happy you’re happy.” Maria kissed his cheek and hugged him again. “Plus now I get to have those younger siblings I always wanted.”

Maria and John laughed. “It’s five more babies that I anticipated but I couldn't be happier to be with such a wonderful woman,” John said.

Something stirred inside Nick as he rubbed his mothers belly. “How far along are you?”

“24 weeks tomorrow. Still have a long way to go,” Maria smiled. “But come on let me show you your room.”

It took Maria more time to get up the stairs these days but her husband and son helped her and soon she was showing Nick to his new room. “I tried to make it like your other room was,” she panted, every movement harder with the weight in front of her.

Nick set his bag down in the bed. “It looks great, mom. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie. Even with all these new babies coming you’ll always be my first baby.” Maria wiped a tear from her eye. “Sorry, hormones. Dinner will be ready soon so come down in a bit.”

When Nick was alone he locked the door and groaned, feeling his dick hard in his jeans. It wasn’t that his mom turned him on, but god that belly and those tits. She was a fertility goddess. And six! Six babies in her belly. This was the kind of science he wanted to study. Ideas came to him as he rubbed his cock up and down, ways to increase her fertility even more. He saw the way John looked at her too and imagined he wouldn’t be too mad with having even more babies for him.

Nick came with a grunt at the thought of his mom carrying a hundred babies. “Ooh fuck I need to make it happen,” he groaned.

The next day Nick went downstairs and found John making breakfast in the kitchen. He was busy flipping pancakes and cooking bacon, not noticing Nick until he poured a mug of coffee.

“Morning,” John said. “Your mom is still asleep but I know she’s going to be hungry when she wakes up.”

Nick smiled, noticing just how much food his step-dad was making. “Well she’s got a lot of babies to feed.” Nick chuckled softly. “Need any help?”

“A lot of big healthy babies to feed. And can you grab the syrup and butter from the fridge?”

Nick opened the well-stocked fridge and grabbed the two items, noticing the weight gain shakes in there as well. “Are you excited to have kids?” Nick could feel his heart pounding, trying to tread the topic carefully.

John nodded enthusiastically. “Couldn’t be happier. I’ve always wanted a big family. It’s one of the reasons I got into fertility medicine.”

“Same. Kind of. Mom had lots of friends who had trouble having kids and I always wanted to try and find ways to fix that. I never expected my own mom to be so fertile.”

“She is something else, isn’t she?” John looked at his new stepson and knew what he was trying to get at. “I didn’t give her any fertility meds if that’s what you're implying.”

Nick shook his head. “No! No… That’s what makes it so amazing.” Nick took a nervous sip of the coffee, scrunching his face at the bitter taste. He held tight on the mug, not wanting John to see his shaking hands. “Since her pregnancy is natural… I think it’s worth studying. Don’t you? Seeing how far her fertility goes?”

John set the plates of pancakes, eggs, bacon, orange juice, and muffins on a large tray. I like this kid, he thought to himself with a smile. He wants to see his mom blow up with babies, huh?

“Sorry if that’s weird I just figure with your work–”

“How would you like to intern at my office?” John asked. “I could use help on a project like this and it would look good on your resume.”

Nick was taken aback. Maybe it was their shared love of pregnancy that brought them together so quickly, neither of them needing to say out loud what their real goals were. “Deal.” Nick extended a hand and John shook it.

“Great! Let’s get her through this pregnancy first and then we can talk about the next one.”

With a wink, John grabbed the tray of food and hauled it to his sleeping wife upstairs. Nick sat at the kitchen table, dumbfounded and excited to see what they could accomplish.

After the break, Nick reluctantly went back to school. His mom hugged him tight and John shook his hand again, telling him he’d be in contact about the internship. Nick made his mom promise to send updates on the babies and pictures of her bump. He wanted to be a part of the experience as much as possible even from a distance. Maria thought it was sweet her son was so excited to be a big brother.

Maria waddled behind John into the doctor’s office for her 32 week checkup. She was growing faster now that she was in the third trimester, her belly round and heavy on her pelvis, reaching past her knees now when she sits. Her hips are almost too wide for most doorways now, John need to help her squeeze through on occasion.

With John and a nurse's help Maria gets onto the table, leaning back and groaning as she feels the babies in her belly moving and kicking. Laying on her back isn’t much of an option anymore, the weight of the babies and of her expanding chest making it hard to breathe.

Dr. Sheen walked in as John was soothing the kicking at her belly button. “How’re we doing?” the doctor asked as he squirted a generous amount of gel on her belly.

“Sore. Huge. I swear there’s more than six in there sometimes.” Maria rubbed her belly, her face scrunched in pain. “And they move so much now.”

“I can see very active babies,” the doctor said, pressing the wand into her belly and showing the large infants on the screen. “Oh my…you may be right about there being more than six…”

“What?” John said with a smile. “Really?”

“Oh, John please, it's already too much!” Maria cried.

“I can see eight babies in here. My apologies for missing them before but they must have been hiding behind their brothers. You’re up to five boys, three girls, Mrs. Grant.”

Maria didn’t know what to say. She was already struggling with the thought of having six babies but now it was eight?! What would her son say?

John could only smile and kiss her, rubbing her belly excitedly, his cock hard in his pants. The doctor left the two of them alone and he immediately started making out with her, grabbing her tits as she moaned in his arms.

“God you’re so fertile it’s amazing,” John gasped. “I love how big you’re getting, Maria. You’ve never looked sexier.” He kissed her neck, gripping her tits harder as milk seeped into his hands.

“Ohhh god, John you’ve really blown me up! I’m not going to be able to walk soon.”

“Fine by me.” John took a step back and took out his phone, snapping a pic of Maria looking huge and pregnant laying on her back. He texted the photo to a group chat of him, Nick, and Maria with the caption “guess who found two more babies in their belly”

Nick texted back immediately “OMG that's amazing congrats mom!”

Showing his wife the message, John smiled wider. “See? Everyone’s so excited for more babies.”

John pulled his wife to her feet and waddled her back to the car, helping her squeeze into the front seat. He drove them home quickly, his cock throbbing harder as he watched Maria moan and rub her belly the whole drive home. Once parked he pulled her out of the car and into the living room, pulling her dress off of her and unhooking the too tight bra.

“John!” Maria gasped, holding her belly as she felt her husband latching on to her leaking tit. “Ohh fuck baby I’m so pregnant it’s making me so full of milk!”

Without letting go of her, John eased Maria onto the couch, holding her belly, rubbing his hand down further until he found her wet pussy, fingering her sensitive clit.

Maria cried out in ecstasy as she felt her husband teasing her. “John, I need you! I need you inside me!”

Not one to deny a pregnant woman, John undid his pants and gripped her hips, pulling her up and lining his cock with her hole, rubbing her lips with his tip before plunging deep inside her. He groaned low as he felt her warm insides envelope him, so wet and ready for more of his potent seed.

Maria’s eyes crossed as she felt John thrust into her, her whole body shaking as he pounded against her sensitive cervix. She gripped her tits in her hands, milk dripping onto her belly as they slapped against her tight orb. “John I’m gonna cum!” she squealed, feeling her clit pulsate as she screamed through her orgasm, her pussy clenching tighter around John’s cock.

“Oh fuck, Maria you’re the best baby factory!” John came inside her, shooting hot ropes into her already overfilled womb. He collapsed onto her belly, feeling the rising and falling of her breathing as he kissed and sucked on her belly button.

The rest of her pregnancy was much the same. Growing, eating, fucking. John ordered her on a bed rest two months after they found the two extra babies, her belly so heavy on her once tiny frame that she couldn’t walk without John’s help now.

Maria spent the last few weeks of her pregnancy moaning and miserable in bed, laying on her side and rubbing her belly as the babies inside assaulted her. She could feel each of them moving and kicking, fighting for more space inside her cramped womb. Making it to 40 weeks was unprecedented but having both John and Nick home to help her made it a little easier.

Nick’s first year of school had finished and he was eager to move back home for the summer, especially since Maria hadn’t given birth yet. She was close, John kept saying, yet she kept growing and the babies seemed content inside her.

At 41 weeks Maria felt gigantic. Her belly was bigger than her, large enough John could have curled inside it. Nick sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed lotion into her tight and red skin, trying to soothe the miserable woman groaning on the bed.

“Please come soon,” Maria whined. “Oh god, Nick, I can’t do this much longer.”

John walked in with a tray of sandwiches and chips for lunch, the two of them helping Maria sit up so she could eat. “Don’t worry, baby. They’re getting lower and your contractions are getting more frequent. I’m sure it’ll be any day now.”

Maria nodded, her eyes bulging as she felt her babies fighting against her belly button again. John gave Nick a look and the young man nodded, leaving the two of them alone, his mom eating quickly through the stack of sandwiches as Nick peeked through the door at his stepfather caressing his mother’s huge belly.

John smiled at his gravid wife, rubbing her belly and pressing against the strong and overdue babies fighting inside her. He loved having her so big, hearing her moan through every bite of food and kick from a baby. She was utterly huge and miserable and he had never been more attracted to her.

”You’re contractions are getting more productive,” John commented, feeling her womb tighten under his hands as she groaned and grunted. “I think it's time we break your water, baby girl.”

Maria rubbed her belly nervously but eagerly. “I’m…ready…I need them out of me!”

John grabbed the empty tray and set it aside, rolling Maria onto her side again, her belly flopping onto the mattress and trembling as the overdue babies kick and fight against the movement. Her groans and whines only served to make him harder, his hands gripping her fat thighs as he got in position behind her.

”Are you ready? Are you ready to become a mom all over again?” John grunted. He gently caressed her wet pussy, feeling her throbbing and ready for him.

”Yes!” Maria squeaked. “God yes fuck me into labor! I want to have these babies for you!”

John didn’t need to be told twice. In one quick motion he was inside his pregnant wife, feeling her tight folds envelope him and smiling in satisfaction at her lusty moans and cries. “God you’re so tight still. You're an amazing baby mama!”

Maria gripped her tits tightly, the swollen orbs bouncing into her face with every thrust from her beast of a husband. She felt her back and belly tighten again as the babies fought against the movement, not happy that their already cramped home was being invaded.

”Oh god I’m so big! Please break my water! I want to give birth so badly!” Maria cried and moaned as John hit her g-spot over and over again, his hands roaming her body and feeling every inch of what he had done to her. “Please get them out of me!”

Nick was hard as a rock watching between the crack in the door, seeing his overdue and overgrown mother getting railed by his stepfather was a sight to behold, her belly so huge in his hands and him still able to make her beg and moan for him despite being too big to even walk.

John smacked her fat ass, gripping her thigh as he held it up for her and thrust harder into her folds. “I’m…gonna…fuck you…into labor!”

Maria came hard, John plunging himself deeper inside of her as she convulsed around him, her pussy tighter from the combination of orgasm and contraction. Before he could hold back he was unleashing a load into her fertile pussy, watching his wife devolve into a slurry of moans and cries as a gush of fluid squired around his cock.

”Baby! Oh fuck they’re coming!” Maria gasped and grabbed her belly as she felt the first one getting ready to crown. “They’re coming fast, John!”

John smiled and smacked her ass again, pulling out of her and putting his shorts back on as he called for Nick to get the supplies ready. Red-faced and ready, the younger man entered the bedroom carrying towels and blankets as John helped Maria through another contraction, the two of them rolling her onto her back and spreading her legs more.

”Nick, check her dilation while I get some hot water,” John instructed his step-son.

Nick blushed even more as he took a gloved hand and felt inside his mother, hearing her groan in pain as the babies shifted more. “Nearly there, mom. about 8 centimeters.”

”I have to push,” Maria gasped. “Please let me push.”

Nick kept his hand inside her as she bore down, preventing the baby's bulging head from tearing her. “Mom, stop! You’re not ready yet!”

John went and stroked her hair, breathing with her and letting the contraction pass without more pushing.

“Babe,” Maria moaned. “Oh god I can’t there’s too many…”

John kissed her deeply and rubbed her belly. “You’ve got this, mama. You’re the best wife and mom in the world, no one but you can handle this.”

Maria smiled and nodded, tears running down her cheeks as another contraction gripped her. Nick checked her again, feeling her stretch wider.

“You’ve got this mom! It’s almost time to push. On the next one you can I promise,” Nick said as he massaged her under belly.

“Alright, baby mama,” John smiled. “Let’s have our babies.”

A few minutes passed before Nick checked her dilation again, trying to ignore how hard he was for his own mother giving birth. He stroked her pussy again, listening to her moan as he inserted his fingers into her.

“Ten centimeters,” he stuttered. “You can push in the next contraction, mom.”

Maria groaned and held onto her belly, the babies kicking harder as her womb tightened and a scream and groan echoed throughout the room. With a hard push the first baby bulged, her pussy stretching wider for the large head.

“I see the first head!” Nick exclaimed, looking over his moms belly to John who smiled and nodded.

“He’s coming! Catch him!” Maria whined as she pushed again, the baby crowning and popping free.

“The first heads out,” John said, moving to Nick's spot as the younger man grew more pale and nervous. “Go comfort your mother, I got this.”

Nick nodded and quickly moved to sit behind Maria, holding her tight as she pushed again, the first baby coming out quickly, crying and weighing almost ten pounds. John felt the tears in his eyes as he held his first son, quickly moving to set the infant on Maria’s engorged chest.

“Oh he’s beautiful!” Maria cried, holding her new baby and helping him latch on to her nipple. “Mm the next ones coming I can feel them.”

John rubbed Maria’s clit as she pushed, making her moan and her legs squirm as she struggled with the second baby’s larger head. He smiled and rubbed her underbelly, feeling the seven left inside her still kicking hard.

“Almost there, baby,” John smiled, rubbing his fingers around the bulging head and feeling his wife cum as she pushed again, freeing the second infant from her. “Good baby, one more big push.”

Nick held his mom tight as she pushed once more, sitting behind her and letting her head rest against his chest. The second baby, a big 12 lb girl, was soon placed next to her brother on Maria’s chest.

“I…I can’t believe it! There’s still six left,” Maria groaned as contractions came fast, the six still inside her eager to escape their cramped home. “Hooo, John it feels so good having your babies!”

The third one came faster than John could anticipate, his hands barely catching the baby girl as Maria’s pussy stretched around her.

“Slow down,” John cooed. “It’s okay baby girl, you're doing so good. Just breathe.”

Maria moaned and leaned against Nick again, shaking her head wildly, her eyes unfocused as she felt the babies fighting to be next to be birthed. “They’re…they’re all coming so fast! I can’t…I have to push!”

Nick squeezed Maria’s hands and whispered to her “You’re doing great. Breathe with me.”

Nick got Maria to do her Lamaze breathing as the fourth baby crowned, John pulling the overgrown boy free from her with another push.

“Halfway there,” John said. He looked over his wife’s belly at his stepson. “Keep her breathing even, these last ones are going to come fast.”

Nick nodded and kept his mothers focus on him, holding her as she struggled to push through the exhaustion after giving birth to four babies.

“You got this mom, only a few left and then you can rest,” Nick said. “In and out…in and out…”

John took over telling her when to push, not wanting her to strain unnecessarily and exhaust herself more than she already was. After six long hours in labor all the babies were finally born, weighing between 9-13 lbs each, five boys and three girls sitting on their mothers chest as her husband and oldest held her.

“I did it,” Maria moaned, leaning against John and closing her eyes. “All our babies are here.”

“You did amazing,” John kissed his wife lovingly, stroking the heads of his babies as they slept in her arms. “I can’t believe we have our eight little ones here.”

“I can’t believe I finally get to be a big brother,” Nick chuckled.He looked at the exhausted woman and her husband, both of them still glowing and happy despite how tired they all were. “I’ll let you two rest. Call me if you need help, mom.”

Maria hugged her oldest son tight, kissing his cheek.

“Thank you, for everything. You’re the best son a mother could ask for.”

When Maria and the babies were all asleep and resting John came back downstairs, finding Nick asleep on the couch. He roused his stepson gently, the younger man sitting up concerned.

“Don’t worry, they’re all asleep and fine,” John whispered. “How are you doing?”

Nick rubbed his eyes and smiled, blushing as he thought about his mom growing even more. “I’m good. Excited. Tired. Are we ready to start the next experiment?”

John nodded. “It’ll take a few weeks for the fertility meds to kick in but once that happens she should get pregnant with double the amount easily. And she’s already proven to be an amazingly fertile woman even without the meds.”

“She’s going to be so big…” Nick mumbled. He shook his head. “What do you need me to do?”

“Any meal she eats I need the drugs to be in. Just ensure that she’s taking them at least three times a day. I’ll take care of the rest.” John winked and clapped him on the shoulder. “She’ll be pregnant again before you start school, I promise.”

[onyxmilk]

Hello! Can you write about spy x family? (I'm obsessed with Loid) where OC is engaged to Loid/Twilight and becomes jealous of Yor.

Sorry, English is not my first language.

Twilight x gn!Reader; "Jealous"

notes; i love some twilight fanfiction, esp because everything is freaking SMUT (last time i checked)!!! we need some sfw ish in here!!! tw; Reader uses They/Them pronouns!, jealousy wc; 1.2k

Twilight and [CodeName] both got married on a whim for the benefits inside their spy company, neither did they expect to actually fall in love and want a proper marriage with each other, but they did! They were one of the cutest couples around, and when they worked together they were the absolute dream team. They would get the mission done and thensome, do some afterwork, clear the paperwork out, the two would go the extra mile to make sure no one had to clean up after them. 

When [CodeName] and Twilight renewed their vows because they ended up falling in love for more than mutual benefits, the two decided to go a little big. [CodeName] wore the most extravagant clothing, and Twilight wore a tailored suit to his liking. The couple held a huge after ceremony, inviting most of the company to join and celebrate their marriage. It may sound uncharacteristic for Twilight, but it was most definitely in character for [CodeName]. 

During the couple’s dance, as they were following tradition, [CodeName] leaned into Twilight and whispered “[YourName],” No explanation aside from a single name that left their lips. Twilight looked confused at first, but then it clicked- [CodeName] was dropping their real name. Twilight smiled warmly, bringing his partner in for a kiss. Twilight had long forgotten his name, but to know that [CodeName] entrusted him with such personal information brought warmth and joy to his heart. Especially on such a special night like this. 

[YourName] didn’t need to know Twilight’s real name, all they needed to know was that the man loved them and that he was accepting no matter what, which Twilight was. They just thought it would be a cute detail to drop on Twilight in the middle of, what the couple considers, their first real dance together as a ‘properly’ married couple. That night, [YourName] and Twilight got home, took off the over-the-top clothing, changed into pajamas, and shared a nice glass of red wine on the couch while watching some old TV shows that [YourName] enjoyed. 

It would be about three years later that [YourName] had to be put on a mission that placed them across the country. With a sadden face, [YourName] said their goodbyes to their husband and kissed Twilight one last time before them and a few other agents were shipped off. Twilight would be out of commission for about a day before he recovered, maybe he and [YourName] needed this split because the two of them were so dependent on each other. 

The two would always reference each other as partners for each other, and because the couple did work so well together and cleaned up after one another without needing a second thought, they did get paired up together what could be considered all the time. Now, sometimes [YourName] would be paired up with another person and other times Twilight would be paired up with a different person, and it never shattered each other. But being away from each other for months really took Twilight aback and he just needed a day to recuperate. 

During the few months that [YourName] was gone, Twilight was placed in charge of Operation Strix, which forced Twilight to find a wife and child. It had been quite some time since Twilight had to fake such an in depth relationship, and without [YourName] here to confirm that it was okay, or better yet have them play the role of his partner, he felt a little sick to his stomach. But a mission was a mission and it needed to be done. 

He wouldn’t get comfortable in his position, but he would get a better understanding of becoming a father in case he and [YourName] wanted children. Every day, when [YourName] was still out on their mission across the country and wasn’t here to call or see him in person at the hospital, Twilight thought about how different the mission would have been going if only [YourName] was around to assist as per usual. For some reason, he felt he’d be further in his investigation. Perhaps because they were truly married and didn’t have to put on some act for the world to see, or because perhaps the two of them have talked about a family before and this would just fill that hole temporarily. 

One day while at the hospital, looking over some papers, Twilight got a call that he was needed in the lobby. He had assumed that perhaps a patient was having a breakdown and needed some comfort from their doctor. Instead, nurses were welcoming a new nurse. “Loid!” His co-worker greeted as they walked over to him, “Have you seen the new nurse? Not to be unprofessional, but smoking hot,” The co-worker laughed but Twilight rolled his eyes while pretending to humor the thought, looking around for this new person. He didn’t expect to see [YourName], dressed in scrubs, holding a cup of juice, and laughing with a few of the other nurses. 

Twilight blinked a few times, a huge smile on his face when he made his way over. A few of the girl nurses giggled before shying away, while the guy nurses simply roamed off to allow Loid and [Name] to talk. “You’re back,” Twilight whispered, half shock and half relief flooding his face. “Mhm, and I’m assisting you on Strix. I’m a nanny on the side.” [YourName] replied in the same whispered tone. Twilight’s heart broke a little at the news, that was the last thing he wanted [YourName] to see; him acting as if he had a wife in front of other people. “I understand, are you caught up?” Twilight asks and with hesitation [YourName] nods their head. 

It would be a few days later that Loid brings up the idea of hiring a nanny to assist with Anya during the week. The nanny would come in the afternoon, help out with homework and study time, then head home around dinner. Yor of course thought the idea was wonderful and let Loid make a list of people, which most were fake just so they had no choice but to hire [YourName]. 

A few days later, it was a Saturday, Loid and Yor sat together on the couch while [YourName] sat on the chair across from them. Yor, to make their relationship look believable to the naked eye, wrapped her arm around Loid’s arm. It took everything in [YourName] not to break right then and there and claim Twilight as their own. They knew that this was for the mission, but unfortunately, jealousy doesn’t understand that. 

The interview went great and Yor agreed with Loid that [Name] should be hired, “Let me walk you to your car.” Loid offered. This was mostly so they could get alone time together before the night ended. “Do you enjoy a clingy wife?” [YourName] asked as they walked out the apartment complex, Twilight was taken aback before shaking his head with a small chuckle- he had never seen [YourName] jealous before and it was quite cute to witness. “No, darling, she simply wanted to sell what people think her and I have. I love you no matter what.” Twilight promised, opening the door for [YourName]. 

[YourName] nodded slowly, smiling eventually. “I want to kiss you so bad..” [YourName] says, “I know, one day soon, dear.” Twilight replied, allowing [YourName] to get into their car and he shut the door before stepping aside and watching [YourName] drive off to wherever they stayed for the night. Twilight hoped that they would stay at their home, so they could be around a familiar setting and smell familiar smells.

He wanted them to be comfortable, for [YourName] is his partner, and they are his.

[melymigo]

I don't know where to start...

I think a brief introduction might be helpful:

To my moots who already know me and for the people who might come across this post, I'm Mely. I'm 31 years old, I'm from Mexico, and everyone around here knows me for my love for Star Wars. I'm a huge fan of the Star Wars Universe, a big TCW and TBB fan. I'm a digital artist and 3D generalist by profession, a profession that I currently do not practice. I lost my job and I haven't been able to apply for/land new jobs or even create a new portfolio because I lost my computer, my main working tool, and all my files, demo reels, portfolios, everything I had is gone. I've been jumping from one job to another, working as a carer, house cleaner, teacher, etc., to keep going and survive; currently I am working in a coffee shop as a barista.

I never thought I’d be in this situation, but I need to ask for help. I don't know if I ever mentioned it before here, but I've been dealing with health issues for two years. Everything was under control until the past few months; it got worse—the last update is that there is an inflammation in my brain going on, and despite multiple doctor visits and tests, I still don’t have clear answers, and I need to see specialists to get the proper treatment. Medical costs, along with the need to take time off work, have made this incredibly difficult. I’m doing everything I can to keep going, but I can’t do it alone anymore. At my job they don't offer medical insurance; I've been trying to land another job that offers me healthcare, but it has been impossible due to the same health issues. I applied for government medical support, but it was denied.

Here is when I ask you for your help: I'm opening a fundraising account to help me get the funds to get medical care. Any donation, no matter how small, would help me afford the care I need.

As a thank-you, I’d love to offer simple art commissions for those who donate. It won’t be anything too elaborate since my energy and resources are limited, but I want to give something back to those who support me.

If you can’t donate, sharing this would mean the world to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and may the force be with you! 💖

BTW, this is the first time I have ever done this, and to be honest, I don't know if this is the best channel to get the funds I need. If anyone has advice or knows a better way, I'd be happy to let you guide me.

Here is the link to my ko-fi page:

https://ko-fi.com/melymigo

[chayawaxman]

omg yay commissions are open!! I'd love some johnny knoxville flirtatious angst 😂 I don't have any ideas beyond that, but maybe you can find inspiration from this pic

tysm chaya!!

୨୧ 𝐀𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐓𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 ୨୧

sorry, i got a bit carried away with this concept, so that may not be 100% true to the original request, but!! welcome to the world where you and Johnny are ex-college sweethearts, reconnecting after years of absence and some really gnarly fight. enjoy! <33

It’s been a long time since you and Johnny had a chance to see each other, or even talk like civilized people. All of your recent interactions could be summarized in a small – but how entertaining! – collection of text messages, dating back to the day after *the accident*. Looking back at it, it was nothing serious, just a foolish, drunken debate, that made both of you go too far with heavy words. Again, nothing to write home about, just you two sharing the last drink of the night, recalling some silly memories from college days, when you two were… How exactly could one call it? You were definitely more than friends, a cluster of unspoken sentiments, heavy glances, a few after-party kisses. Just enough to make you two, almost ten years later, fight to death about the final questions. Why you two never worked it out? Who didn’t call? Who was the first to try to forget all about it? And there you were, supposed to cherish a quick moment of reunion due to his crew that just accidentally happened to film in your area. Who knew this would turn into a verbal wildfire, that none of you seemed too eager to put out?

Today, you woke up unusually late. Quick shower, quick breakfast, quick guilt trip about already wasting almost a half of your day. In the meantime, your phone screen started to glow with a notification. New text message, how convenient, sent from the man that only a few days ago wanted to forget about everything you shared together – even if it was just a young love fantasy, that none of you really wanted to let go. That specific kind of head rush, which can be caused only by something so idealized, because you two never had a chance to get bored with each other.

“can i take you out? i’m nearby and thinking about some things. i want to make it up to you. i promise ma’am, i’ll be more civil this time”

You sighed, letting your thoughts run wild, sprinkled with anxiety and confusion. Was this a good idea? Maybe it would be for the best if you two closed this unhinged chapter and just moved on with your respectable lives. Although, you said to yourself, what harm could it cause? Just one evening and everything will go back to the way it was before. You will both forgive and forget (ideally), him and his crew would leave the town, and you will finally get some well-deserved peace and quiet. 

“Only if you promise not to get sentimental.” – you could feel your palms shaking a little bit while pushing the send button. Maybe it wasn’t so casual after all?

“on my way”

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

– Why have you brought us here? – you asked, looking with suspicion at an empty football pitch.

You tried to act all nonchalant, like you already forgot that back in the day it was your spot. Johnny used to sneak beers from his parent's house, you drank them like it was the olympian ambrosia, laughing, making unreal plans, while the evening glow showered everything in this nostalgic shade of blue. Until now, you had a chance to drink cooled martinis at the beach and cosmopolitans, carefully put together by your best friend, made to taste like a piece of heaven in a glass. Despite that, you were not able to forget this sweet aftertaste of flavored beers in a room temperature, shared with a man that you thought was your soulmate. Here he was, theatrically showing you the way to the empty bleachers, offering you an arm. He never lost his love for acting, even in the most foolish situations.

– And they say that chivalry is dead – you snarked playfully, accepting his offer after a moment of contemplation. 

– Never with me, ma’am – he replied, confidently walking to a pair of seats that already had a blanket put on them. – Yeah, I figured it might get cold in the evening.

– Oh, how thoughtful of you – you still did not want to drop the sarcastic act, not after everything that happened in the last few days. 

Johnny offered you a seat on the blanket-covered chair, a piece of weird luxury on an empty football pitch. Without saying a word, he took out two bottles of raspberry beer – how they could even fit in his pockets?

– A little something, treat it as an olive branch – his half-smile was *almost* remorseful.

– Olive branch? I’m afraid it’s gonna take a bit more than a bottle of beer – almost laughing, you took the bottle out of his hand nonetheless. 

– And yet you still decided to take it – Johnny noticed, his stupid smile becoming almost contagious.

– Jo, if I knew that it would give you such an ego boost, I’d turn down every drink on this planet.

How could you let that slip out of your mouth? Jo, his nickname that only you could use, just added to the tension that was building up between you two. So many memories running through your head like a messed up slideshow, fusing and merging, creating this emotionally loaded footage of everything that went wrong. Despite pushing off the thought, you couldn’t help but imagine… What if he never left the town? What if you had a second chance, a fresh start, what if… No, no, that ship has sailed a long time ago. The only thing you could do now is to sit down, enjoy the view, drink your beer and not get lost in his superstar smile.

– And I thought I was the sentimental one, bringing you here and all. But hey, Y/N, looks like I underestimated you!

– Leave it, Johnny. Don’t act like you didn’t hate me almost three days ago.

– Hate you? I could never! – Johnny noticed the side-eye that you gave him, making him finally get into a more serious tone. – Seriously, Y/N, I could never. And if I came off that way, then well… There’s nothing left for me but apologize. Sincerely. I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m sorry for…

– Johnny, stop, you don’t have to. Listen, today we’re here, the next day you and your friends would get back to your Hollywood’s hall of fame, or wherever is your current residence. We don’t have to do this, we don’t have to get into this weird, pushed conversation just for the sake of politeness. 

A moment of awkward silence hovered above your heads. He didn’t turn his eyes off of you, like – despite everything being said between you – he was afraid of losing another moment of admiring how beautiful you were. You could feel his remorse, nostalgia and genuine need to make things better, even if it lasted just for this night.

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹

– Y/N, again… I never wanted to hurt you. I know how I feel and deep down I can only hope that maybe you feel this too. Yeah, yeah, I know, it didn’t work out then… And it doesn’t have to work out now. I’m fine with both, as long as I can hang out with you today.

This caught you a little bit off guard. You expected a little more bickering, some stuck-up arguments about misremembered words and unfinished affairs that could haunt you like first-class victorian ghosts. Instead, he gently took your bottle out of your hand and opened it with his chipped pink lighter.

– Impressive, I know – his sarcastic, almost self-aware remark cleared the air a little, while you still didn’t know how to respond.

After all of it, why can’t you just enjoy the night? Even if it won’t last forever, like you used to believe it will.

– Maybe for a college kid – you picked up the playful act, maybe going with the flow won’t hurt anyone?

– Oh, Y/N, so cruel again! You know what? Watch this.

Johnny took a mini CD player from his pocket. Just like the one you used to replay your collection of Fleetwood Mac’s music on. And just like that, the first notes of Seven Wonders started to flow out of the slightly screeching speaker. 

– I hope you still like it, because if not, then well, I don’t have any kind of plan b – he said, sipping his beer slowly.

– You still have this old thing? – you almost gasped, surprised and maybe even impressed. 

– Yeah, I guess it’s hard to get rid of something that… Hey, did you see that? 

– What?

– A shooting star! Quickly, make a wish – he nudged you, still following some distant constellations with his gaze.

– Ah, alright, alright. I wish for… - you started, but Johnny quickly interrupted you,

– You can’t tell me, otherwise it won’t come true! Come on, Y/N, don’t you know the star-wishing rules? – his slight laughter lit up the atmosphere.

– If that’s the rule, then I wish for us to argue again, fight often, maybe even never seeing each other again – you let yourself get your guard down a little. It’s still a joke, right?

– Woah, that’s some great reverse psychology upon an astronomical body. You’ve got me here, miss Y/N.

Stevie Nicks in the background sung another song about dreamy, star-crossed lovers’ fate. You felt his arm around you, both of you still admiring the beauty of a night sky. Lingering aroma of his classic cologne filled the air between your bodies. However, the distance between you started to shrink. The night was young, bottles clinked between your hands, summer was in a full bloom. Just like back then, for a while, there was nothing to worry about. No chores, no relatives or coworkers to get back to. Just you, Johnny, and this sentimental reenactment of your very first kiss.

[strikefourth]

Fourth Strike Nov-Dec Roundup

Featuring Bandcamp Friday, a new garages goodbye album, and more!

Today is Bandcamp Friday, and we've got loads of goodies in store for you. Before we jump into it, just a reminder that today is Bandcamp Friday. All album sales today have 100% of their profits go directly to the artist (as opposed to the usual 85%). If you've got the funds and are looking to spend on some absolutely SICK tunes, consider giving some love to this month's roundup <3

And with that, let's get started:

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The Garages announced the final installment of their We Are The Garages series, appropriately titled "we've been the garages." It's up for pre-order on Bandcamp right now, along with the first single "we stood at the precipice of total collapse, fingers intertwined, our truths settled with words we'd never speak" by Woosh, Amadis, and Bertie.

The album releases on Jan 5th, 2025, and there'll be a listen party the same day to celebrate the album.

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2. @bardapologist's the sound engineer and editor for the new Dragon Age 2 playthrough podcast Codex Entries! We're linking Spotify and Apple Podcasts below, but you can find Codex Entries wherever you listen to podcasts. For a little extra incentive: Carly's also done the theme song!

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3. Yuppie Supper ( @thwackamabob )'s debut album Dracunculiasis came out at the end of last month, and it's certified sick! Grab it on Bandcamp or stream wherever you stream. They've got some really cool t-shirts out too (though the shirts might be sold out by the time this post goes out.)

And if you missed the release show over in Leeds, catch a recording over on YouTube (from a weird angle):

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4. @dynamicentropy has art commissions open right now and is looking to raise some funds! You can find xer commissions sheet below, along with examples of some of xer art.

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5. Aren't you tired of being human? Why not be tired of being human with lAra-a ( @girltentacles )'s new track, out now on Bandcamp and streaming.

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6. Sparkle on, it's Friday; be yourself: Julien, who you might've seen taking an electric screwdriver to a bass during THE GARAGES SIGN OFF, has some new ✨songs✨ out on Bandcamp!

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7. Keeping up the sparkly, space-y theme here, Gabi ( @girlballz ) has pre-orders up now for faer re-release of infinite spacetime:

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8. Last, but certainly not least, Bertie's got a new Magic: The Gathering inspired track up for pre-order over on Bandcamp. The song releases January 3rd, 2025; sign up for emails to make sure you don't miss it!

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9. This isn't really promoting something I've made, but it was my (roundup writer)'s birthday this week, and I've been thinking some about the privilege of growing up. I've also been, and continue to be, very proud of Fourth Strike's song jam fundraiser from last year, where we raised over $1000 for the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund. Speaking as myself and not as Fourth Strike for a moment, if anyone is looking for places to donate this holiday season, I'd be moved if you chose to donate to some of the many Palestinian relief funds still looking to meet their goal.

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This was a long one, but hey, we've been busy! Thanks for sticking around, and we hope you'll try out all our new directions. Every stream, every comment, every share means so much to us, and the enthusiasm so far has been really cool to see. We'll plug another reminder here to follow the #beyond strike four tag if you want to keep checking in!

We'll see you next month, but until then: Happy Bandcamp Friday. Consider us rounded up.

[jerzwriter]

Welcome Brooke Vivian Carrick!

In my headcanon for Tobias & Casey, little Brooke joins the family on August 30, 2025. But I'm delivering this incredible artwork to you one year earlier! This lovely commission is from none other than the incomparable @/artbyainna on Instagram. I've run out of amazing things to say about her, but she never, ever disappoints.

I had hoped to write more about Brooke's birth story—and maybe one day I will—but I really wanted to share this before the end of August. Some HCs about Casey's pregnancy and Brooke's birth can be found below. Maybe I'll write a little more about them one day. I sure do love this little family!

You can find some stories about this time in Round Two and more about Tobas x Casey on Tobias x Casey's Masterlist.

Caption Pietro (the cat): To me, he's saying "Not impressed!" 😂

Pregnancy/Birth Headcanons:

As with her first pregnancy with Sammy, poor Casey was pretty much nauseous for the first three months. That was even more challenging with a toddler underfoot. Fortunately, Tobias was always quick to tell her to rest, and grandmas Vivian and Rose were all too happy to step in when needed.

The minute morning sickness ends - Casey is famished and has tons of cravings. Tobias was better prepared for that this time. This time around, she wanted Greek salads and French fries most of all. See a little Insta edit about that below.

Tobias made it clear he wanted a big family; Casey made it clear she was the one who had the babies, and he agreed; it was her call. They never said definitively that this was their last, but they both believed it was. They really took time to cherish every moment of this special time.

Casey and Tobias were happy to see her sex drive was insane during this pregnancy, their friends asked how they noticed a difference? lol

Tobias arranged a 'babymoon' vacation when Casey was seven months pregnant. He wanted to go to one of their favorite islands in the Pacific, but he wasn't keen on Casey traveling so far from home while pregnant. He also wasn't about to take her to any states that could jeopardize her life if she were to have complications, so that limited his choices. They ended up at a luxury hotel in Cape May, New Jersey. He got a suite on a separate floor for Vivian and Rose, too. This way they got some relaxation and they could all spend time with Sammy - but Mom & Dad got plenty of alone time, too.

Once again, Tobias insisted they were having a daughter, so he never even looked at boy's names. Girl's names were also a challenge; neither could come up with anything they loved. Finally, his Aunt Cher suggested Eden or Brooke for Edenbrook. They loved the idea and decided to wait until the baby was born to see if she looked more like an Eden or a Brooke. Obviously, Brooke won! She was given Tobias's mother's name, Vivian, as a middle name.

For most of Casey's pregnancy, Sammy was unimpressed about the idea of a new baby, but toward the end, she decided it would be fun. So she was eager to meet her little sister, and when they brought Brooke home, Sammy really thought it was a present just for her.

Pietro, their cat, was obsessed with her baby bump throughout her pregnancy but had no interest in Brooke once she was born. Casey and Tobias joked it was an odd way to learn their cat was a Republican.

Like her sister, Brooke was anxious to enter the world and came a little earlier than expected. Her due date of September 20th became a birthdate of August 30th. Casey was in labor for 5 1/2 hours, but there were complications, and it was decided it would be best to have a C-section. Tobias was at her side through it all (and she was telling him to get a vasectomy most of that time....)

They were overjoyed when little Brooke was safely delivered, and they spent the next few days in the hospital suite marveling over her and trying to wrap their heads around the fact that they now had two little girls. Tobias was outnumbered, and he loved it.

Here's a little edit about Casey's cravings - well, at least the food cravings - this pregnancy lol

[cosmicbrowniebox]

Darling, I

pairing: post ts!kuroo x Artist! gf

wc: I think like 1.2k

a/n:really enjoyed writing this after struggling alot these last two weeks mentally but I hope you guys enjoy this and let me know if you wanna know more about these two for future posts ^_^ also this grammar wise is gonna be so bad because I've been awake since 10pm and its now 1:38 pm and running on fumes

“Yn” Tetsuro called from the doorway just loud enough over the sound of her music playing in the background as she worked on a new piece for the JVA “Huh what’s up” Yn responded not moving from her spot at her desk the drawing tablet flipped on as the only source of light in the room since the sun had already gone down for the night “you should finish up for the night it’s getting late isn’t it?” He asked her, knowing she had been working on the new holiday promotional merchandise for the JVA and had been working on god knows how many things besides that project he had commissioned. 

She nodded checking the time realizing it was already eleven pm “Jeez it’s already this late” she mumbled rolling her stiff neck whenever she got focused on her deadlines and Producing quality work for it she was like a train that never seemed to stop hell even faster than the bullet train sometimes depending how big the art piece is “how far have you gotten?” Tetsuro asked leaning against the doorframe it wasn't enough to completely see her drawing tablet with how she was sitting.

 "I've got the base of it done I think it should be done by later tomorrow if I work all day on it so it can be on time for the deadline" she answered sliding over slightly as she motioned for him to come closer so he could get a better look “it looks amazing Yn I love how you did it and everything just looks so well done” he praised with that smile he always loved her art ever since primary school he always liked to see the things he drew and to read her manga panels in the school paper even when she gave up on drawing for years because she thought it was the right thing to stop because all her friends thought it was weird she put so much time into it until she got back into it for a contest that she entered with a girl who she shared the panels with.

“I'm serious Yn it's already so amazing” he added earning a sheepish smile from his girlfriend “i mean id hope so since it will gonna be shown to a crap ton of teens and others around the country” she responded looking up at him from the corner of her eye before looking back down at the tablet on her table after a moment of watching it deciding to click the save button before shutting down her PC setup in her office “alright let's get to bed its late isn't it” she told him sarcastically as she stood up from her desk chair shooing him out so she could go wash her face before they head to bed 

“Yeah you've been held up in here all day” he quipped back following right behind her already in his pajamas for the night “that's what you say every time” she hummed standing in the doorway of their shared bathroom the faucet running 

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we didn't have our careers?” Tetsuro asked watching her almost as if he was watching a painting he must have found breathtaking he liked to say she reminded him of a Renaissance painting sometimes especially when she was doing mundane tasks or working on things “i like to think i would still be in the art type of job but instead i would have pursued being a mangaka y’know?” she answered clicking open her face wash and putting some on her hand as she spoke 

“Or maybe a teacher and I would have gone back to work at Nekoma” she added knowing that ever since she was young it was three things when it came to her art, history, and music she always thought it would be one of those places catching her eye in life.

 never once did she think it would be graphic design though for most of her commissions besides when the JVA commissions her work “what about you?” she asked continuing on with her skincare as he deliberated beside her “probably still doing volleyball maybe or coaching” he answerd she knew in some ways he still wanted to play and go professional like alot of his friends did but he grew to love his job and the life he built but anything would be amazing as long as they were together thats what he always said when one of them felt real discouraged with something they had been trying to pursue in or on a specific project.

“Bet you’d be going pro or something if you kept with it” she said drying her face off from the extra water on her cheeks after a moment setting down the towel as she watched him back for a moment like it was a staring contest or something “eh who knows maybe” he hummed turing on his heel so he could go back into their bedroom “shut off the lights in there” he called out as a reminder knowing she had a habit of forgetting to turn them off at night 

With a small click shutting off the overhead light in the bathroom she followed the hall back to their room knowing he was probably already in bed since it was a long day for them both but its not like long days would truly matter they would always still be by each others side no matter what and know stress was okay and that the other could help to try and lessen that burden 

As she slid in beside him for the night it was like clockwork for her body the tense muscles and aches she had from the day just seemed to melt away beside him because she knew it was safe she knew that she would be safe with him just like she always was ever since junior high

“What would you thin about getting married one of these days yn?” tetsuro asked his chin resting on the top of her head as he held her close she must have seemed so confused with the little huh she made “id do it” she mumbled out as a response before adding “i mean id do anything with you tetsu your like my other half at this point” she added snuggling into him closer she wasnt wrong he really was like her other half the yang to her yin and the sun to her moon 

She knew if he was to ask her it would be an immediate yes it always would be because god would she be a dumbass to say no to the rooster head he was as sweet to her as a bag of sweets he reminded her of home an at this point he was home to her he always had been 

She would always feel at home listening to his heartbeat knowing he was gonna be okay and that nothing bad was gonna happen to him with how bad her anxiety got for no reason sometimes it was always comforting when she would get him all to herself for a bit even if it was just for the night.

[danikamariewrites]

Nessian x reader

A/n: This is my first commission piece! I'm so happy with how this turned out. Thank you @dreamlandreader I'm so happy you like it 😊

Word Count: 3,223 words

Warnings: Angst, self doubt, fluff

Joining the Night Court as an emissary for the Winter Court has been a dream come true. Besides your home, Winter was your favorite place in all of Prythian. Their politics and history fascinated you, making you work your ass off in school so you could be the best of the best at court relations.

Feyre and Mor had been the ones that found you. Originally you were working for the governor of the Palace of Bone and Salt. The fact that you were being under utilized made Feyre pay you a visit, delivering a much better job offer.

Since you started you finally got your own apartment in a nicer part of the city, and you have been much happier going to work. Yes, it’s a bigger work load but you love keeping busy.

You also adored the Inner Circle. The High Lord and his family embraced you, not hesitating to treat you as one of their own. Especially Nesta.

The two of you clicked right away, becoming instant best friends. And of course she’s a package deal with Cassian.

You couldn’t deny your attraction to them as the months went on. Nesta had invited you to train with the Valkyries after working for the court for only two weeks, where you became very close. The small touches as she adjusted your stance mixed with Cassian’s praise never failed to make your face heat. It was odd, having a crush on a mated couple.

Finally, after a year of casual hangouts and staying late at the House of Wind enjoying their company, Nesta asked you out to dinner. “Nothing super fancy, unless you want fancy then we can go somewhere really nice or we can-” You cut off Nesta’s rambling by taking her hands in yours. “Anywhere you want to go, I’ll be happy Nes.”

Her smile brightened after that. Before leaving you to go make plans she bent down and softly kissed your cheek, whispering, “Until tonight.”

Seven o’clock came faster than you anticipated. Nesta knocked on your bedroom door just as you were putting the last clip in your hair. Opening the door you found a radiant looking Nesta. She was wearing a beautiful long black velvet gown. A slit up the skirt that showed off her toned thigh and a wide strap that hung off her shoulder.

“Wow,” You gasped out. You swear you saw Nesta blush as she quickly looked down. As she looks back at you her eyes roam your body. Drinking in every single one of your features. “You look stunning.” She whispers out, holding her arm out for you to link with hers. Taking it with a wide smile, she leads you down the hall and out your apartment.

Once you’re taken to your spot in the middle of the restaraunt Nesta pulls out your chair for you, pushing you close to the linen covered table. “Thank you.” You said sweetly, smiling up at her. She leans down to place a kiss on your forehead before taking her own seat. The kiss made your cheeks turn pink. It felt different than the one Nesta placed on your cheek earlier today. You could tell this one was meant to be felt. To be full of warmth and convey care.

Three courses and a very expensive bottle of wine later, you and Nesta were full and giggly. As your laughter died down she braced her forearms on the table, leaning closer to you. A giddy smile pulling at your lips you copy her. Your noses almost touching. “I have something to confess.” Nesta says coyly. You tilt your head at her unusual tone. “What is it Nes?”

Your heart was racing. Hoping for a confession of love from her. It was so wrong of you to hope that. Cassian was your friend too. You didn’t want to drive a wedge between them or the rest of the Inner Circle. At the same time you were wishing for Cassian as well. Wishing it was the both of them confessing their love for you. But he isn’t here, Nesta is. Maybe he doesn’t care about you as much as you thought.

You thought you were close with him. You shared jokes, would be board game partners, and even dragged him shopping with you. Cass pretended to hate it but liked spending time with you. Or so you thought.

“Meeting you has been an unexpected joy y/n. Getting to know you, having fun with you, and spending with you has just…I can’t think of a word to describe it, there isn’t one perfect enough.” You felt tears forming behind your eyes as a lump settled in your throat. No one had ever been this happy being with you. Not even your last boyfriend treated you with such kindness.

“I’m so happy I met you too Nesta. You and Cass and the rest of the family have been so kind to me.” Nesta closes the distance between your hands, lightly playing with your fingers. She looked hesitant to speak again. “I want to be honest with you, y/n. Cassian and I care about you. Not in a just friends way…”

Your eyes widen in shock and hope.You open your mouth to speak but the words get caught in your throat. “I-I care, I feel the same way.” Nesta lets out a happy sigh of relief and visibly deflates back into her chair while staying attached to you.

“We want you y/n. If you’ll have us.” You nod vigorously. “Yes. Yes, I really do.” You can’t stop smiling at her the whole walk home. Nesta holds your hand as you swing them back and forth.

Finally back at your apartment door, you frown a little, not wanting this sweet evening with Nesta to end. Looking between your new girlfriend and your door you let out a sigh. “Tomorrow morning Cass and I want you to come over for breakfast. We can talk more about things.” Nesta brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear, coming down to lightly trace your jaw. You nod, giving her a small, “ok.”

Unlocking your door you turn back to face Nesta. Looking up at her your eyes land on her full lips. “Nes?” “Yeah baby?” Pink slightly tints your cheeks at the pet name. “Can I kiss you?” Your voice barley above a whisper.

Nesta smiles and brings her hands up to cup your face. They feel soft against your skin. Leaning up to meet her you feel a spark as your lips touch. Your mouths move against each other in an elegant dance. The kiss full of warmth like the one she placed on your forehead earlier that night. For the first time in a long time, you feel genuine love flood your body. She’s holding you like you’re going to slip away and she won’t let that happen.

Your hands find home on her hips, pulling Nesta closer to you. In that moment, you decided you wanted to feel this love for the rest of your immortal life. And if you felt this way with just Nesta, how would you feel when Cassian started showing you love?

Would he though? He didn’t come to dinner tonight.

The kiss slowed until you two were just resting your lips against each other. Your breaths heavy as you pulled apart. “Goodnight baby.” Nesta gave you one last parting kiss before leaving you.

The next morning you donned an adorable cherry pink dress, practically skipping through Velaris on your way to the House of Wind. As you approached the outskirts of Nesta and Cassian’s home you spotted him waiting for you as he always did.

Cassian was wearing a wide grin as you approached. He scooped you up into his strong arms, spinning you around. Pulling back to look in your eyes, he held you firmly. “Hi sweetheart.” “Hi Cass.” you say sweetly, wrapping your arms around his neck to prepare for the flight up.

Cassian softly took off from the old cobblestone street, the beating of his leathery wings soothing your nerves as he climbed higher and higher.

Landing on the balcony of the living room he gently sets you down, grasping your hand. “How did you sleep last night?” He asks casually, leading you towards the informal dining room. “Fine. I had some excitement keeping me up.” He lets out a breathy chuckle and kisses the top of your head. “I can only imagine.”

As you walked with him you couldn’t help the tight feeling forming in your chest. Over thinking, like you partially did last night, as you wondered if Cassian really wanted you with them.

You couldn’t help it. You knew Cassian loved you as a friend, but his love for Nesta is like nothing you have ever seen before. You didn’t know if he would like bringing another person into their mated relationship. It took Cassian so long to win Nesta’s trust and heart. Would he want to let another share that?

Entering the kitchen you saw Nesta laying out plates of food on the table. Muffins, croissants, fruit, breakfast meats, and pancakes. Cassian pulls your chair out for you, like Nesta did last night. He pushes you in and takes the seat next to you.

Nesta sits across from you with a sweet smile on her lips. “Hi baby,” she takes your hand, bringing it to her lips. “Please dig in.”

Scooping food onto your plate the three of you fall into easy conversation. After a while you fall into a lull, unsure what to talk about besides the obvious.

Clearing your throat, you decide to start. “So…Nesta and I talked last night.” The pair perked up, making slight eye contact. “And I want to be with you guys.” They let out a sigh of relief and Cassin rested an arm on the back of your chair, smiling down at you. “But, I have a few questions.” Nesta nods. “Ask whatever you want, we’ll answer it.”

You turn to Cassian, a small pout on your lips and a sliver of worry in your eye. “Why didn’t you come to dinner last night?” He lets out a shaky sigh. Like he’s nervous to say anything to you. “We thought if it was just one of us, you’d be less intimidated by the thought of a relationship.” You slowly nod, letting his response seep in. “And you don’t mind this Cass? I don’t want to be a burden or cause problems for the two of you. I just-” Cassian tilts your face up by your chin with two of his thick fingers. A doting look on his features.

“Sweetheart. You have nothing to worry your pretty little head about. Rest assured, we both want you as much as you want us.” His thumb rubs against your chin. You felt relief knowing your anxiety was all for nothing.

…

Weeks have passed since your relationship started with Cassian and Nesta. It started out…chaotic to say the least. The three of you wanted time together but work picked up for all three of you. It was a busy time of year with the holidays right around the corner.

It also didn’t help that Cassian was away in Windhaven for a few days every week. It had just been you and Nesta at your apartment or the Town House.

Cassian being away made that doubt about how much they actually wanted you creep in again. You love your time with Nesta but you craved time with both of them. To just sit with them and bask in their attention. Maybe it was a mistake being with a mated couple.

On the last night of Cassian being away Nesta slept over at your apartment. You opted to sleep on your side rather than in the middle of the bed cuddled up with her like you usually would. You were too tense, lost in your thoughts and didn’t want Nesta to worry. Though she probably sensed it.

As Nesta laid down you curled in on yourself, trying to get further from her. This didn’t go unnoticed as she huffed at your movement. Sitting up, Nesta turns the lamp on on the bedside table, the dim yellow light illuminating her profile. She grabbed your shoulder and turned you to face her.

“Talk to me y/n.” Nesta pleaded with you. Taking a deep breath, you sit up, bringing your knees to your chest. Nesta rests a comforting hand on your arm, her thumb rubbing small circles on your skin. Worry glinting in her steel-blue eyes. You lay a hand over hers, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“Does Cassian like me?” Her face contorts into confusion. “Baby of course he does, he loves you. Why wouldn’t he?” You shrug, unable to meet her gaze in fear of bursting out into tears. “I just-I feel like he doesn’t want to spend time with me. I know work has been crazy but there’s a part of me that doubts…everything.”

When you look up at Nesta a single tear falls down her cheek. She shuffled closer to you, throwing her arms around your neck, pulling you flush to her chest. A few tears escape your own eyes. “I’m sorry baby. I’ll talk to him or we can all talk when he gets home.” You nod against her.

Cassian arrived home late the next afternoon. Wearing that wide goofy grin on his face as he came through the door of the Town House, embracing you both.

Back at the House of Wind later that night, you and Nesta lounge in the living room as Cassian makes dinner in the kitchen.

Sitting down at the table together Cassian tells you about his trip to Windhaven. It takes all of you not to interrupt him and blurt out, ‘DO YOU LOVE ME!’ But you hold your tongue as you push your vegetables around your plate. You don’t have much of an appetite anyways.

Cassian’s booming laugh pulls you from your thoughts. Out of the corner of your eye you see Nesta quickly glance at you. Looking up at Cassian you give him a small smile that he returns. “Sweetheart, I was wondering if you wanted to go out, just me and you.” You sit up straighter, surprise taking over your features. “Really?”

“Yes,” He laughed out, “Nes gets you all the time and I want you to myself for a bit.” You look to Nesta, as if asking for permission. She gives you an encouraging nod. “Ok. Can we go out tomorrow night?” “Absolutley.” Cassian brings a hand to the back of your head, placing a chaste kiss on your head.

Nesta helps you get ready for date night. Finishing up your make-up she lets out a dreamy sigh, “You look so pretty y/n/n.” She moves behind you to make sure your hair is perfect. “I’m excited to have the house to myself. Not that I don’t love having you two around but sometimes I just want to get lost in my book.” She giggles to help lighten the mood, making you giggle too. Nesta meets your y/e/c eyes in the mirror. She gives you a loving smile, draping your hair over your shoulders. “Ready?” “Uh-huh.”

Heading down the grand staircase you see Cassian waiting for you at the bottom with a bouquet of your favorite pink roses. Cassian watches you with a love sick grin as descend the last few steps. “You look stunning.” A slight blush dusts your cheeks as you look up at him. Cassian hands you the bouquet. You sniff them, taking in their sweet scent before placing them in the vase on the entry way the table the house put out for you.

You were surprised that you weren’t nervous during dinner. You and Cassian had fun joking and flirting like normal. He was extra touchy with you, never letting go of your hand an dpractically pulling you onto his lap at times. Cassian made sure he gave you his undivided attention throughout dinner.

Hand-in-hand, you take a walk along the Sidra, admiring the stars. “Lets sit for a minute sweetheart.” Cassian places a hand on the small of your back, guiding you to the nearest stone bench. Sitting, Cassian holds your hands in his lap.

“I wanted to talk about us.” You swallowed nervously at his words. “Nesta talked to me. And I’m sorry that you’ve kept that pent up for so long. I love you very much y/n. I’m so sorry if I haven’t shown you that. I promise that I will show you how much I love you for the rest of our lives.”

You grip his hands tighter in yours. Letting their warmth seep into you. Cassian’s hands are rough and battle worn. Yet so gentle with you, like Nesta’s. You feel safe with him. From the look in his eyes you know he meant every word. That it pained him you didn’t feel loved by him.

“I love you too Cassian.” You leaned your head against his shoulder. The two of you sat like that for a while, watching the stars shimmer.

…

It’s been almost a year since you started dating Nesta and Cassian and you couldn’t be happier. The three of you fell into a comfortabel routine. You always made time for each other, had regular date nights, and made sure time with family was balanced out as well as one-on-one time. And thanks to Nesta and Cassian’s endless begging you broke and moved into the House of Wind.

You placed down the last snack bowls, stepping back you admire the setup. Tonight was a night for just the three of you. It was rare you all got to relax and you were happy to see them let their guard down. To put away the mask of the General and Valkyrie.

You hung small fae lights, laid out extra blankets and pillows, set out snacks, and everything you will need for face masks. The front door shut as Cassian and Nesta’s voices floated up to you from the entry way. Approaching the living room they paused in the archway.

“Do you like it?” You ask, clasping your hands under your chin. Nesta rushed over to you, pulling you into a crushing hug. “It’s perfect.” She mumbled into your hair. You relax into her as Nesta hugs you tighter than you thought possible. “Missed you today.” “I missed you too Nesa.”

She broke away, pressing a quick kiss to your lips. “I’ll be back, I’m going to change. Are you coming with me Cass?” You both look to him. Cassian is casually leaned against the door frame as he shakes his head. “Nah, I’m just going to chill in my underwear.” Before the two of you can protest he strips in the middle of the living room. “Will you take my leathers to our room?” He asks with a shit eating grin.

Nesta rolls her eyes at him, playfully slapping his shoulder. “Fine. But don’t start without me.” she calls over her shoulder. Cassian rushes at you picking you up, and flopping on the couch with you against his chest. You giggle and snuggle into his muscular chest. “Missed you today sweetheart.” “Missed you too Cass.”

[axvoter]

Blatantly Partisan Party Review VII (WA 2025): Stop Pedophiles! Protect kiddies!

Prior reviews (as the Democratic Labour Party, although whether this is them is debated—see below for why): federal 2013, VIC 2014 (1 and 2), federal 2016, VIC 2018, federal 2019, VIC 2022

What I said before: n/a, see below

What I think this year: Settle in, folks. Get some snacks, crack open a beer, and make yourself comfortable. Here is the most batshit review of this WA state election cycle.

On 13 February 2024, a group acting under the name of the Democratic Labour Party (DLP) applied for registration at state level in WA. This took forever, and it was not until 16 September 2024 that the party was registered—with other parties achieving registration much more quickly in the interim (even One Nation, who are famously dysfunctional!). Not long afterwards, the Australian Labor Party introduced legislation to the state parliament to prohibit parties from registering with names similar to that of existing parties, akin to legislation that exists at federal level. This passed into law on 15 November 2024, with one clause specifying that if two parties currently on the register shared the same word in their official name, the party that had used the word for longest could claim it. The legislation was drafted intelligently enough to account for variant spellings, and the Democratic Labour Party had to change its name because its registration was much newer than the Australian Labor Party, who had the superior claim to "labo(u)r".

The DLP WA submitted a new name on 6 December 2024, and within the following quotation marks I am reproducing it exactly as formatted: “Stop Pedophiles! Protect kiddies!” Yes, American spelling of "paedophiles"; no, no capital K. This name was approved on 14 January 2025 and I will refer to them as SPPK from here on. Before the name change, the party had been courting Wilson Tucker—yes, the bloke elected in 2021 for the Daylight Saving Party off just 98 first preferences under the thankfully now-abolished system of Group Ticket Voting—but this new name was so bad that he pulled the pin and is not contesting the election at all.

It seems the name change got sufficient attention outside WA that the DLP (who for now are only registered in Victoria and the ACT) felt compelled to respond. And hoo boy, what a response! The DLP is adamant that they have “never been registered in Western Australia” and that SPPK “has absolutely no association with us and does not share our values, policies or democratic processes”. They instead urge their supporters in WA to vote for the Australian Christians, which to me is fascinating as the DLP is a historically Catholic party and the Australian Christians are historically Protestant.

But it gets thornier. There is no website for a party called “Stop Pedophiles! Protect kiddies!”, nor for a WA branch of the DLP, and I cannot find any social media accounts either (let me know if you can!). Their lead candidate for the Legislative Council—and 11 of 17 overall—is identified only by a first initial and their last name. Every other candidate for the Legislative Council (and I mean every single one for all other parties) is on the ballot under their full first name, not only their initial. This is plain weird.

The lead candidate for SPPK in the Legislative Council is one “H. Dolan”. The WA Electoral Commission’s register of political parties lists the SPPK party secretary as Hugh Dolan, who is presumably the same person. Back in 2022, a Hugh Dolan stood as the lead candidate for the DLP in North Eastern Metropolitan at the Victorian state election. Hugh’s son Thomas Dolan ran for Labour DLP as a candidate in the Bayswater (Victoria) electorate at the same election and came a very distant sixth, then he founded the short-lived Gen Z Party (never registered) and got dismantled in an interview with fellow gen-Z interviewer Leo Puglisi. In that interview, Thomas described his father as “this crazy old man” and referred to “all this party infighting” within the DLP. Thomas diverged with his father on a range of policies and left the party.

Has Hugh moved to Perth, registered the DLP at state level, and then been disowned by the rest of the party? Is this the latest chapter of the infighting that Thomas described? I genuinely cannot be sure because of the paucity of information from the party has left me with no way to confirm whether Hugh Dolan of West Perth is the same bloke who stood for the DLP in Victoria in 2022. It seems likely! But unconfirmed. Trying to track down this party online was frankly more tedious than trying to track down most random independents, and that’s quite something given how badly some of these people campaign. It mystifies me how Hugh Dolan found so many friends prepared to put their name on the ballot for the WA Legislative Council: there are 17 candidates for SPPK, with only the Liberals and Labor standing more on their slates. Dolan also somehow rustled up three SPPK candidates to contest Armadale, Joondalup, and Mandurah in the lower house! Wherever this party is organising and campaigning, it is not online where an ordinary voter can get the slightest idea of who they are or what their policies might be.

What I expected to write for this review was something to the effect that “it’s incredibly funny that a party aligned with Catholicism is running on an anti-paedophile platform given how many paedophiles the Roman Catholic Church has protected and how often it has sought to deny justice to victims of paedophilia”. What I got was something even more absurd.

I have never, and I mean never, in my 12 years of doing these reviews and 20 years of voting across Australia and NZ, found it impossible to get even a skerrick of information about the policy platform of an actual registered party. Well, here we are!

Recommendation: Give Stop Pedophiles! Protect kiddies! a weak or no preference in the Legislative Council. If you are in the Legislative Assembly seats of Armadale, Joondalup, or Mandurah, where you must preference all candidates, you need to make a judgement call on whether SPPK should go dead last as a totally unknown quantity, or whether to put them above known terrible quantities like One Nation. I personally would go dead last, as the DLP connection does not imply much positive.

Website: I haven’t found one!

Edit, 7 March: see my first update and second update (including website!)

[asideoftrashplease]

Do you have any plans for more Genshin fanfics after you finish "Venti can do what he wants"? (amazing work btw, can't wait for another chapter) And if you do, would you mind sharing what they'll be about? 👀👀👀👀👀👀

MY FRIEND, I have SO MANY genshin fics half written or at the very least outlined, are you sure you want to ask me this question? Do you really want to be stuck here for the next 10 mins? HAHA anyways, not all of them will be Venti-centric or even have Venti in it, despite my Venti-obsession, but now that Venti Can Do What He Wants is complete, these are the fics on my priority list:

Xiao-centric + Chongyun + Xingqiu: an adeptal guide to gardening

First chapter is already on Ao3. Basically, Xiao ends up investigating a strange domain that lures people in with illusions of their loved ones with the help of Chongyun and Xingqiu. The short summary is: Xiao's Very Bad, No Good Babysitting Adventure, only it turns out that being around mortal children is very good for one's soul.

Venti crack (one-shot): Congratulations! You've Been Excavated!

Venti being friends with the adepti and they often grumble about how their domains keep getting broken into and excavated by humans like "they took my favorite tea set and now its in a museum!!" And Venti doesn't have a palace to excavate so he always thinks it's SO HILARIOUS. Then, one day, he settles down in a sealed domain for a nap-- and wakes up, wings and all, in this Sleeping Beauty-esque glass case in the church, because humans stumbled into his domain and lovingly excavated HIM. (The adepti have been waiting 50 years for him to wake up so they can laugh in his face about it.)

Keqing grieving the death of Rex Lapis (one-shot)

Fic takes place during the Liyue AQ after the Rite of Descension and Rex Lapis' "death" but before he tells the Qixing that he's still alive at the end of the AQ. Basically, Keqing coming to realize that she's actually a bit traumatized from seeing her god's "dead body" falling from the sky, and also realizing that she's grieving him. She wanted Liyue to be governed by humans, but she didn't want him DEAD, and now she feels guilty and paranoid that other people must be thinking "are you happy? you got what you wanted!" But in the end, she finds solidarity with other people and realizes no one will judge her for grieving.

Scara-centric 3 part series: dealing with his relationship with gods

Basically it deals with Scara having to find a purpose that isn't the gnosis, and also dealing with like... I think "making amends", like in Simulanka he talks briefly with Mini-Durin about Mini-Durin being like "but what if they don't accept my apology." And I was thinking a lot about wiping himself from existence makes it impossible to seek forgiveness from those he has hurt (including Nahida), and impossible to demand explanations from people who have hurt him (Ei), so he can also never find closure. But this fic has him meeting three different gods, and finding closure through the realizations that kinda incites in him. The first part deals with Scara's relationship with Nahida. The second has him leaving Nahida's side to wander the wilderness after she bids him to find a purpose and soul search, where he gets PLAGUED RELENTLESSLY BY A WEIRD GREEN BARD WHO KEEPS TRYING TO GIVE HIM BAD ADVICE, then the last part has him finally travelling to Inazuma where he meets Ei, has a heart to heart with her after having the mother of all Ei-induced breakdowns, and finally finds closure.

Kavetham / Haikaveh: Kaveh builds Nahida a home

After being invited to see the Sanctuary of Surasthana, and being asked what he thinks about it, Kaveh absent-mindedly says that it's grand, but there's nothing in it that makes it a home. He's super mortified and apologizes for it, but some days later, Nahida calls him back, and commissions him to renovate the Sanctuary and make it into a home. In the process of building her a home, he has to reflect on "what makes a house a home", which slowly leads him towards the realization that home is with Alhaitham (and that he's been in love with Alhaitham for years.) In the backdrop: Nahida, upon completion of renovations, invites Kaveh (who is now a dear friend) to move into her second guest room. And Kaveh is like ha, oh yeah, I've been wanting to move out for awhile, yes, I should move out. And Nahida is like "I feel I've made a terrible mistake" and then "if I can make him realize he's in love with Alhaitham, I can fix this" and then "he realized his feelings!" ... "he thinks its unrequited" "I NEED TO CONVINCE HIM ITS REQUITED" ... "I am unable to convince him its requited" and she keeps trying to get Scara (who is living in the other guest room) to HELP her, but he only gives bad advice!! Basically, mutual pining with a Scara & Nahida CIRCUS in the background.

NSFW: Zhongvenxiao fuck or die (short title: "Rock Paper Scissors")

Xiao has narrowly survives a serious karmic debt episode, but is left completely drained in the aftermath. To aid in his recovery, Cloud Retainer in her capacity as a healer recommends an infusion of energy through dual cultivation (FUCKING) and divine energy would be most efficacious but if any of you are unwilling, an adeptus could also suffice-- ZHONGVEN: WE ARE WILLING. And then they argue fiercely over who gets to fuck Xiao which leads to Xiao walking out to check if they've murdered each other and they're playing ROCK PAPER SCISSORS OVER IT. Anyway its crack and porn and a threesome eventually happens, but Zhongven bicker the WHOLE time and Xiao is slowly losing his sanity because of it.

And then there are three that aren't outlined like the others are and are kinda still floating in my head, but I'm interested in writing them:

Jean & Venti fic: Venti age-regresses and Jean takes care of him

Venti exhausts himself trying to take care of a "resentful god remnants" problem in Stormterror's Lair and regresses to the age right after he first took the Bard's form and ascended, with only Jean around. Largely, I was very AHHH about the idea of Venti having to deal with a body he doesn't even know how to move in, and the humans are afraid of him, and Gunnhildr being the only one who believed in him, who carried him from Decarabian's tower when he didn't know how to walk in a human form yet. And now Jean taking her place, carrying him from that same tower, and living this almost reverent sense of "what my ancestor did for him, I do for him now" while also dealing with this shift in her head of "being the protected" to "being the protector."

Scara & Cyno: Scara sucks at pretending to be Just Some Guy

So I feel I have this "Outsider POV & Identity Shenanigans" thing going on. I have another fic, Mr Zhongli Is Very Strange which is Xiangling finding out Zhongli's identity because he sucks at pretending to be human. Venti Can Do What He Wants is about Kaeya finding out Venti's identity because Venti doesn't care about pretending to be human. Now, I want to have "Cyno finds out Scara is an ex-Fatui Harbinger because Scara is can't and doesn't care to stop BITCHING about the other harbingers every time they are brought up in front of him."

Venti crack: The Great Adventure of The 137 Lies In 12 Hours

Basically, a "Concerned About Venti's Living Situation" network begins to form in Mondstadt where a bunch of adults basically suspect Venti is a homeless orphan kid and are trying to figure out if Venti even has a home, is he okay, does he need help? Eventually, they stage An Intervention and 3 NPCs are appointed to confront Venti about it. And it's not supposed to be an interrogation but its effectively an interrogation, except Venti just keeps giving out all these really wild answers like "Yes I was born in Mondstadt and err as for the reason why I've not been seen in the city before... it's because I was raised by wolves. No really, just ask Andrius, he'll vouch for me." Which eventually begins the wildest roadtrip in the history of roadtrips, with Venti dragging them all over Mondstadt and then Liyue to meet the people who will vouch for his lies, except all of them are SUCH bad liars that he has to keep coming up with more lies like "I WAS RAISED BY WOLVES, JUST ASK ANDRIUS" "okay, so the truth is that I was raised by Dvalin" "I WAS RAISED BY AN ADEPTUS WHO LIVES ON MT AOCANG" "actually the adeptus lives in wangshu inn sorry I got it wrong" "it looks like I can't hide it anymore... the truth is... I am Morax" "my dad is Mr Zhongli at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor" "I AM MORAX WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME???"

[xfandom-fairyx]

marching band au

part two

_____________________________________________________

Four pizza boxes, a box of garlic knots, some cheesy bread, and a brookie box sat on the granite-top island counter in the kitchen while the five of us sat in the chairs that sat around it, taking turns with introductions, and stuffing our faces in the process. I sat on the far right, Eijiro directly to my left, then Denki, Sero, and Katsuki on the far left.

I brushed my hair back behind my shoulder to avoid eating it with my bite of pizza, listening to the boys all give a little information about themselves. Turns out, Katsuki’s dad was head chairman of the housing commission for school, and currently owned the house we were living in. Someone had a great idea and based our housing on our college majors and class schedules to insure efficiency with attendance, which I thought was a great convenience. Carpooling would be nice to save on gas, we could share notes, and help each other with studying. I now live with four, hot, funny guys, and we don’t have to pay the bills for this enormous house? (Somebody pinch me, I’ve gotta be dreaming..)

“As you know, I’m Sero, and I play the tenor. My shoulders and back are already pre-hating me for the bullshit they’re about to go through,” he grinned, earning a chuckle from the rest of us. I zoned out a little as Sero kept talking, which is rude, I know, but I was too focused on the ash blonde. His laugh was the roughest among the boys, the deep timbre of his voice creating a rasp in his chest as he chuckled. I took a drink of my water, stealing a glance his way, hoping he wouldn’t notice me looking at him while I was mid drink–

But he was already looking at me. My eyes went wide as heat flooded my cheeks again, and his ruby orbs studied me, his grin mischievous when he saw the flush of my face. I had to focus on not choking, because choking to death within the first hour of knowing these guys would be so fucking embarrassing. Raising a hand, he swept his fringe away from his face and took his turn introducing himself, his gaze trained on me.

“Name’s Katsuki Bakugo, and I play the snare. I’ve been the lead snare at our high school for the last 3 years, and I’ve had these idiots beside me the whole time. I’m here because I’ve always wanted to make music my career. DCI is the number one dream, but I know that I won’t be getting paid for it, so my next option is becoming an audio/sound engineer,” he stated, confidence radiating off of him. My jaw dropped slightly, a small smile tugging at my lips.

“I’m here to be a music producer. It’s just a step up from being an audio engineer,” I grinned. His gaze held mine for 4 long seconds, his grin never faltering. Hearing a chair scrape across the floor, my attention got pulled over to the sunny blonde, who was now standing with one foot propped on his chair as the other held his full weight, posing like a knight.

“I am the one they call ‘Denki the Great,’ and I play the bass drum!” he exclaimed proudly, his right hand balled into a fist that he held over his heart.

“I said ‘ingrate,’ you moron!” Katsuki boomed, his laughter infectious. Denki’s face fell to feign hurt, the hand that was in a fist splaying out to cover his heart.

“Bakubroooo, you’re so mean!” he cried, sitting back down in his chair. We were all still snickering, Denki’s frown fading quickly as he remembered the brookie box that sat neglected on the counter. Eijiro shook his head, grinning at his friend’s childishness, then turned his attention back to me.

“I’m Eijiro, I play snare, too. My dream is to become a music director or a drumline instructor, because I’m not ready to do anything else with my life yet, but the degree I’m shooting for is a Bachelor of the Arts, like the rest of you,” he said, grabbing his solo cup of water and flashing a smile before taking a swig. I took a deep breath, knowing that I was the last one to speak their piece.

“I guess that leaves me,” I started, already feeling more heat rise to my face, “I’m y/n, and I’m in the pit. More specifically, I’m in the auxiliary. During games, I’ll be your cymbal girl, during comps, I’ll be doing multiple complementary instruments and sounds to add to the show,” I explained, looking over at each of them, nonchalant smiles on everyone but Katsuki, who was smirking slightly, his gaze still intense on my face. I suppressed a shudder, suddenly finding the pizza and cheesy bread on my plate very interesting.

“My dream is to become a music producer, so I create my own mixes, beats and samples,” I added, earning an impressed whistle from Eijiro.

“You should totally show us some of your stuff some time!” he jeered. I looked over at him and he nudged me with his elbow a little, a shining grin splitting his face, making warmth fill my chest and a smile pull at my own lips. If I had glanced at Katsuki, I would have noticed that his grin had faltered a bit.

After most of the food boxes were empty, the time on the display screen of the smart fridge showed that it was almost midnight. Sero had called it a night about 30 minutes ago, pulling Denki upstairs after the blonde had stolen another brookie. They were going to “hit the penjamin” before going to sleep, and even though I was invited, I wasn’t about to get absolutely blasted before the first day of band camp. Eijiro was clearing over the dishes and I was taking the trash out to the bin when I caught Katsuki as his foot hit the bottom step of the stairs.

“Hey, Kats,” I gently grabbed the side of his black band merch tshirt, “would you mind showing me a few things around here? Like maybe where the laundry room is?” I batted my eyes, a joking grin on my face. His ruby eyes caught me off guard as they showed his mild irritation, making me pull my bottom lip between my teeth.

“Nevermind, I can figure it out myself,” I whispered, letting go of his shirt and turning back to the kitchen where Eijiro was drying up the last plate. A warm hand caught my wrist, catching me by surprise.

“Grab your shit, I’ll show you,” he rasped. I gave him a thankful smile, running past him up the stairs to grab my laundry bag. When I came back down, he was waiting for me at the landing of the stairs with his arms crossed over his chest, and it took everything I had not to stare at his flexed biceps.

He jerked his head, a motion for me to follow him through the house to two of the mysterious doors that sat behind the dining table, on the wall under the stairs.

“The first door here is a cleaning closet. All the cleaning supplies and extra kitchen towels and shit go in there,” he stated bluntly, quickly opening the door to give me a brief view of the items I would be needing to use frequently.

“And this is the door to the basement,” he said, pulling the second door open to reveal a staircase that had a turnback about halfway down, 20 stairs max. The basement itself was completely open like the floor above, but the floor was covered in a soft carpet, and a neutral gray coated the walls. A few movie posters and music memorabilia hung on the walls, and my eyes floated over another sectional sofa and a few massive bean bag chairs that surrounded an 80” tv. My mouth gaped at the media center; it must have been housing 150 different games. And the foosball table, a ping pong table, the gaming setup with a few different consoles.. the homeowners really thought of everything! Under the staircase was a brand new washer and dryer set— the Samsung smart ones— and the rack for organizing the clothes.. I had to set my laundry bag down, all of this was making my ADHD brain fuzzy. Katsuki must’ve noticed the tiny gasp I had let out when I saw the appliances, because he was smirking again.

“Wanna see the best part?” He asked guiding me over to a door on the back wall, and I squeaked as his hand pressed gently on the small of my back. On the other side of the door was a private recording studio, complete with a rack of guitars across the wall behind the studio glass, a professional drum set towards the back wall, a state of the art mixing table directly in front of us, brand new microphones—

“Oh my god, what the fuck even is this house? I feel like I’m in a dream,” I sighed, settling in one of the velvet chairs in front of the mixing board, the purple, yellow and red lights illuminating Katsuki and I in the darkness of the studio room. He crossed his arms again and chuckled lowly, letting out a short sigh.

“This used to be my actual house. I grew up here. We moved out a couple years ago, and have been using it as an Air BNB to make a little extra to put me through college,” he explained. I could tell he was getting tired because his voice was raspy with fatigue.

“And now it’s my house, again. I turned 18 and my parents put the house in my name. I told the guys they could stay here during our college years, but my dad said I had to utilize it for school use only. So I offered to let him put some more music majors in here. The others should be here in a couple days, they’re from out of state,” he rambled, spinning my chair around and leading me back out to the game room.

“Others?” I questioned. (More stinky boys? Please, God, no.) Katsuki grinned at the displeased expression on my face, laughing a bit as we started back up the stairs.

“Two girls, don’t worry. I wouldn’t make you deal with 6 boys by yourself. I figured 3 girls and 4 boys would be manageable.” All I could do is sigh in relief, making him grin as he shut the door to the basement behind us.

“You don’t talk much. I like you,” he chuckled, gesturing for me to walk upstairs first with him hot on my trail. I hoped the dim lighting hid the blush on my face as I turned to look at him one more time before ducking into my room for the night.

Tucking myself in, I thought about the craziness that just transpired over the last few hours, grinning widely. If this was how life was going to be, I couldn’t wait to spend the next 4 years with these idiots.

..and it wasn’t lost on me that Katsuki had taken the trash out for me.

. • ° * ° • . … . • ° * ° • .

A/N:

Still testing the waters here.. it’s a slow start, I know. Hopefully the next few chapters are a little better, more will be happening than intros and tours. Who knows, I might try my hand at adding some social medias (:

Love y’all 🫶🏻

🤍fae🤍

tags:

@icloudcatastrophe

[thelediz]

Fandom should be fun

Something I’ve noticed in the last couple of years, but has been weirdly nagging at me in the last… six months? Has been the marked difference between people who participate in fandom for fun and those who do it for profit.

And how much more successful the profit-driven people are in fandom.

For fairly obvious reasons.

But it’s interesting and I have to think about it out loud or it’s going to eat at my brain.

Now, when I say profit, I don’t necessarily mean ‘for money’, or at the very least any intention to make a living out of it, though there are certainly people who do. They’re not a new phenomenon, either – originally I think it was only common among musicians, but visual artists and even writers that produce for commission have been around since the original Star Trek days. Hell, Dante’s Inferno exists for a reason. But when I mean ‘for profit’ I think I mean the people who produce content in order to earn something, be it money, likes, comments, what have you.

And don’t get me wrong, as a fanficcer, I love comments. It 100% fuels motivation to know that people are engaging with your content.

But as a fandom lurker, it feels disingenuous of me to want them. And with the way fandom has shifted lately, I’ve found myself thinking about why. What is it about a comment that fuels me?

Because I’m not chasing down kudos or comments or bookmarks. It makes me happy to know that people are reading and sharing my stuff, and I’ll admit I do get some badly needed endorphins every time I see someone paying it attention. But I’m not one of those people who will write generic stories and slap different character names on there to fit the fandom I’m in that day.

I write because the content I’m engaging with is tickling something in my brain and I want to think about it more.

And it’s fun, of course, but… yeah.

I write to engage with the original content.

That’s why some fics go unfinished or never get off the ground, because once I start engaging with them, I realise the thought has run its course and… I’m done. It stops being fun.

Honestly, and I’m giving away secrets here, that’s why I hated writing Return so much, and I still don’t like it. Occasionally I go back, because I get a comment or see a bookmark saying it meant something to a reader, and I think “…ugh, I should rewrite that bit to make it a bit more in character” or I can acknowledge that it was actually a half-decent storyline. But I do not like that story.

I started writing it hoping to kickstart something in me that didn’t happen. In the XYZ and Alola period of Pokemon, it was such a beautiful, positive force, about hard work and triumph and believing in yourself. I was chasing that. I wanted to talk about how hard that had to be for Ash. I wanted to point out what a beautiful story it is that Ash kept going despite never winning for so long.

But I should have put the fic down. The original content just wasn’t there anymore. I was still using Pokemon Go, but it sure as heck wasn’t for the storyline. And the anime lost me so early on in Journeys. I should have put the fic down and walked away, but I was addicted to the dopamine fandom provided me. I hated writing that story and I’m just grateful that it ended up meaning something to someone because otherwise it should be wiped from the internet as something I never should have done.

Compare and contrast F’d Up Three Ways, which I had almost entirely written before I started posting it. I adore that fic. I had so much fun writing it. Even when I started posting, I got barely any engagement and I didn’t care. There were bits and pieces in there that were me feeding off fandom, but most of it was just me devouring the original content and then thinking “and then what?” which is exactly what fandom should be, and it felt so good.

It’s the only thing I’ve done for that fandom, it’s all I’m ever going to do for that fandom, but it was what I wanted it to be.

So why do comments motivate me? Why, now that comments are so rare, do I constantly check my Ao3 to see if someone’s put a bookmark with a note? Why do I give a damn if people read my stuff?

Because I too am looking for engagement.

I want to know my stuff is making people think, or feel. It made me think and feel, so… am I alone in that?

When I was writing Dropped Shield, I was mostly writing that for myself. It was already mostly written when it was posted. But the comments were amazing and made me hungry for more fandom. People digging into the characters, the plot, the professional behaviour…! (It is such a weird fic, I cannot believe how many people like it, but I love it even more for that) Reading people’s comments on that fic made me feel so full.

And I think that’s what’s made me start thinking about it, because there’s those kind of comments, and then there’s the lovely heart-filled comments that are so sweet, and make me smile, but don’t fuel any kind of motivation.

I love getting them. They made me happy. If you’re someone who does that, do not stop making those comments, they are wonderful.

But they aren’t going to drive me to think more about the content and therefore will not encourage me to produce more.

Which brings me back to the difference between the kinds of people who create for profit and those who create for… whatever it is I and people like me are creating for.

This post was originally spurred by @notherpuppet (who does wonderful Hazbin Hotel art and comics and I hope doesn’t mind me referencing her – please tell me if you’d rather I don’t tag you and I’ll take this bit out) who is SO popular and so gets a lot of people wanting to make content of her content. And those people often get money out of that. And while notherpuppet didn’t mind that, when those people start promising paid content based on her currently non-existent future content, that’s… much less okay.

Because notherpuppet doesn’t draw for profit. She draws for love and fun. And so the moment it stops being fun, she absolutely should put down her tablet and walk away.

People just assuming she will continue until people are no longer interested makes me super uncomfortable. She's not doing this to get paid, she is under no obligation to produce, why would you assume she will?

That’s all putting aside the people in the early days of fandom getting sued by creators for copyright infringement. I never saw it happening myself, but when I started in fandom, people put disclaimers on their work reminding everyone it was not for profit for damn good reason.

So anyway. Coming back to the point.

It’s increasingly rare these days to get comments. This is a known thing. Many discussions have been had about it. And fandom as a whole is changing too. What people are posting is changing. How people respond to them is changing.

I’ve gotten comments from people pointing out they wouldn’t normally read my stuff because it’s too long, but they got a recommendation from someone else and so gave it a shot.

Which… okay, fair. But some of them say that about things that are like 6,000 words and that’s… that's not a long fic for me. I used to spit out that kind of content daily when I was in high school and could devote the brain power.

But when I started in fandom, drabbles were super common. Flashfic was a thing. Because we were all posting on blogs and forums and the formatting just wasn’t there.

And now a lot of fandom is video and audio that takes thirty seconds or less to consume. Longer to create, but... the similarities are there.

At the time, no one expected great feedback on drabbles or flashfics – they were just for the fun of creating. But the short-form content you see these days is very much chasing likes and comments and responses.

I don’t know where I’m going with all this, but… man. If I was still a fandom academic, that… there’s something in that, isn’t it? Something interesting.

Anyway. TL;DR, I repeat, and will always repeat: fandom should be fun. It makes me sad when it isn’t fun.

Please try and have fun.