#a bunch of long sentences ended with a punch

[glassrowboat]

Princess. Boothill.

Summary: The summer is always the best time to sit back and enjoy the sounds of nature on a horse back ride, especially when it's with you by his side.

Word Count: 1,800+

The trot of horses on an old path was a welcome one as the trees covered the sky above, blocking out the beaming sun in a canopy of the most vibrant greens. Birds singing in tune with a stream nearby, one you know well from your many times running to it as the heat got the best of you just to kick at the waters for the chance of being splashed with a refreshing cool.

Fortunately enough, today wasn't unbearable. Hot, still, but that's nothing new.

“What's with ya and always takin’ it slow, princess?” A voice called out to you, trying to distract you from the task at hand. That being: getting used to riding a horse in the first place.

Your teacher for…well..the mare you were currently on top of.

“Cmon girl, I swear I taught you how to gallop by now. Less ya scared?” A snort came from him, unlike the ones the horses huff out after being ordered to go into a different direction than the one they wanted.

Stubborn creatures they were, but your teacher had assured you the one you were riding on, Crafty, was the least stubborn of the bunch. A ‘tamed lass’ or something along those lines. At least that's what he claims, but you've personally experienced being bucked off before.

It was unpleasant, to say the least. The moment you hit the rough patch of dirt, grass tickling your skin, you were unable to breathe despite your attempts to gasp for air. Quite literally knocked out of you as you choked on the spot. Your body refused to fill your lungs.

Now, you had never been much of a smoker but in that moment you would have gladly taken a puff from a spit covered end if it meant getting what you longed for.

It was only when you were breathing again that you noticed a certain someone (a complete prick) was standing above you holding Crafty's reins in hand and laughing.

“Well, it was bound to happen ‘ventually.”

Those words made you want to punch him as your teacher leaned down, hand taking your own, and helped you up.

Afterward, you immediately ran off to shower. The need for a break and a good wash far too tempting to resist after getting knocked off your ass.

Since then you had been dubbed-

“Princess?”

That.

You glanced over at him, despite knowing you should keep your eyes forward lest Crafty follows the direction you're gazing at, to catch the sight of his black and white hair thrown up in a messy ponytail. Hat, as always, perched right on top of his head.

“Everytime you call me that, I want to call you Cruella De Vil.”

Your teacher awwed at your words, cooing the harsh tone in your voice. “You wanna give me a nickname now? I didn't know we were at tha’ stage in our relationship yet.”

“We are in nothing close to a relationship.” You snapped.

“Wowy pardner, way to-” You glared at him, waiting for your teacher (Cruella) to dare and even try to finish his sentence when you both knew he was going to attempt to say something along the lines of ‘shit on my parade’- “rain on my parade.”

“Yeah, that's totally what you were going to say.”

“Obviously.” He said, drawing out they ‘ly’ the same way you would when mocking how a country singer says the word whiskey.

You found yourself going “uhuh,” nodding in agreement just to get him off your back. Shame it didn't work as well as you wanted it to as Cruella over there kept jabbering. Stuffing your ears full of words like a tamale.

“Ya know, if it gets any hotter I'm sure we could fry an egg just by puttin’ it on a rock to sizzle up real nice. Would you like that, princess, me cooking you up a meal? Maybe we can have a beer or two to top it-”

Eventually, you found your legs squeezing the horse below you, signaling her to pick up the speed. Your hips meeting the same beat hers did as she ran, just like you were taught.

it's easier that way, apparently. Puts less stress on your body.

Hoofs beating against the well-worn path, but your teacher was far more comfortable going at a faster pace, making him catch up with you easily as he whistled at the horse to slow down. Her legs were already betraying you as they moved back into a slow trot all the way to a stop. Crafty staring back at you like she was expecting you to give her a treat for the treacherous behavior.

Well, she was certainly well trained, at least. Maybe he did have a point in saying Crafty was a tamed lass.

“Tryin' to run from me now?” He asked, laughter in his voice even as your teacher clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“You were the one complaining about us going too slow earlier.”

“Huh? Can't seem to recall that.” Reaching over, he took the reins from your hands, slipping them as easily from your gasp as any trained pickpocket might. “Mind getting off ol Crafty here so we can talk?”

“I'd rather not.”

“Course not. Real shame you're always so stubborn.” If he wasn't so close, you might have missed the part your teacher whispered about how he should have expected you to be harder to deal with than a newborn foal.

Yeah, fuck you too cowboy.

Running a hand over Crafty's neck, you couldn't help but cringe slightly at the feeling of her fur being so coarse. You'd have to remember to brush them down after cleaning out their hoofs. Something you like to do before and after every ride. After all, they deserve it for carrying you around like this.

“I don't know how you put up with Cruella over here.” You say to her. “Not when I'd never know when he's planning to turn my hide into a hat.”

Your teacher barked out a laugh as he picked his hat off his head, waving it slightly in front of your eyes so you could get a proper view of it. “It's not even made out of horse hide, ya see?”

“Yet.”

“Yet.” He repeated with a raised brow.

“Yeah, I'll give it until Crafty's leg finally gives out.”

The last thing you saw before your vision was covered was your teacher rolling his eyes right before he placed that dusty hat on your head. If you remember correctly, didn't that mean something like you were his girl or….

Ah.

Ah!

With a face as hot as the blazing sun shining down on you two, right in the midst of summer, no less, you shoved the hat back towards him. “That's sweaty and gross! I don't want it!”

Laughter caught on the wind as he took it back, holding it to his chest as your teacher pouted.

“Ya wound me. Here, a simple cowboy is offering you something to block out that blasted sun, and you don't even make use of it?”

“I can manage just fine without it.” You hissed.

“You have also been riding with narrowed eyes this entire time, princess. It kinda gives you away.”

“I said,” taking the reins from his hands you pulled them back into your grasp, careful not to accidentally kick Crafty up by startling her, “I'm fine.”

Turning around on the path you both had been riding down, you were met with the sight of the lush greenery you two had passed and two sets of horseshoe prints littering the ground.

“And I'm heading back.”

“All on your own? Didn't know you could handle that by yourself.”

“Yes, on my own, cowboy.” You said with a firm nod. “I'll fill the hay and everything so there's no need to worry about it.”

Even if it meant getting that blasted stuff in your bra. It always had a way of sneaking in there despite your best efforts and highest collar shirts.

“All covered then, eh?” He asked as Crafty nickered underneath you.

This time you didn't grace him with a response as you made your way down the path, the sound of the bird chirping and Crafty's tail trying to wack any bugs away from her your only company as your teacher watched you go.

“She's so stubborn, ain't she?” He found himself asking. Though the grin on his face was a clear indication that the thick headed nature of yours wasn't exactly minded.

“Guess I gotta try harder to build up a romantic mood to confess next time. I'll get her to listen for sure. I just need a bit of time.”

In return, your teacher was met with the huff of the horse he was sitting on as his hand moved up to block the sun in his eyes.

Back then his hand was flesh and blood.

But now?

His metal hand was blocking out the full moon, bright as it could be as he gazed up at the stars reflected on the aluminum coated surface he was still learning to get used to. The way they moved was nothing like real fingers that would hurt at the slightest papercut.

He would always stick the hurt finger in his mouth and say that would do the trick even as the little miss royal ass would insist he wash off.

Soap and water.

He needed a bath, or at least his hair needed to be washed off. The rest of him maybe needed a shining? Maybe a good wipe and oil capped off?

Boothill dropped his hand, letting it fall to his side as he looked back up at the sky.

If he closed his eyes right now, could he pretend it was sunny as can be? That the leafs above and Boothill’s hat were the only thing keeping his eyes from being blinded, that there was a stream right down the way he could hear just as clearly as the trot of two horses side by side?

Could he, just maybe, hear your voice?

Yet all he heard was his own breathing that was…altered in a way. Affected, just like the rest of him the moment he took on this hunk of a junk body.

It was agonizing to wake up from such a peaceful dream. One he wanted to go back to despite it long since having burnt to ash. Crumpled between warm fingers that had once touched your hand, now gone like the rest of him.

Grabbing his hat, Boothill got up where he was standing, trying his best to once again walk away from your memory. The same way he did as Boothill realized he had to flee that fateful day without erecting some sort of monument for everyone in their honor.

For Nick.

For Graey.

For his little girl.

For his princess.

[justalildumpling]

chapter 36: if the shoe fits

wc: 1.1k

You weren’t exactly sure what you were doing.

It had only been a few seconds ago when your best friend dragged you by the hand upstairs, essentially locking you inside some guy’s room. You remembered him spluttering a bunch of incoherent sentences, something along the usual lines of beating the living daylights out of the asshole in question before disappearing back downstairs.

You sighed, sipping on the leftover punch in your red solo cup. 

It sucked, really. Attending a long-awaited house party with your friends only to be ruined by the presence of a gaslighter. You ‌put more effort into your look that day, attempting to change up your usual makeup routine to add more glitter and colour ⎯ because well‌, glitter fixes anything (Ok, maybe everything except for your unfortunate position in the dingy room).

You kicked off your tattered running shoes, looking into the full-body mirror with a frown. 

What was the point of dressing up if the person you wanted to dress up for wasn’t even here to see it? 

You had attended the party relatively earlier than you usually would have that day, pestering your friends to book the Uber way too early for their tastes a few hours ago. But much to your dismay, your prince charming was nowhere to be found. You had circled Sunwoo’s house a few too many times than the average person, unsubtly asking for his whereabouts from the already intoxicated guests ⎯ but alas, no information was found.

A series of knocks sounded at the door, shaking you from your thoughts. 

“Hoon?” You called, standing up to unlock the door.

The other side of the door remained eerily silent, making you doubt if it was your loudmouth best friend. But brushing it off, you turned the knob and with a click, it swung open to reveal the initial inviter and the missing boy, Lee Jeno.

Your mouth sat slightly ajar, taken aback by his sudden appearance. Jeno greeted you with his recognisable smile, eyes crinkled into little crescents and his nose scrunched up in the cutest of ways. He held a paper bag in his hands, hanging its straps on the knob as he shut the two of you back inside. 

“Sorry I was late,” Jeno started, scratching the back of his neck guilty, “I had to pick up something along the way.”

“That’s okay, as long as you’re here with me now,” You softly spoke, taking note of the way he awkwardly placed some distance between the pair of you.

A suffocating silence blanketed the room, with Jeno fiddling with the hem of his leather jacket as he avoided your eyes.

You could feel your heart plummet in your chest, a series of concerns racing inside your head. Was he taking back his feelings for you? Were you ‌not worth the wait? Did he find someone else that night?

Jeno took a deep breath in, gesturing you to sit back down on the end of the bed.

“I know I’ve apologised already but I am sorry about everything that’s happened in the last few months. I should’ve confirmed everything with you before acting upon my feelings and you didn’t deserve the hurt that I caused you. But I⎯” 

Jeno paused, finally looking up to meet your eyes. You could see his fingers trembling on the white sheets, mouth wavering as you sat in anticipation for what he had to say next.

“I really like you, I know I’ve said this a bit too many times the past week but I genuinely do. And this time I hope I’m not acting upon my feelings a bit too soon.”

Jeno shuffled over to reach for the paper bag, pulling out a red Nike shoe box. He opened the box, tearing away the excessive tissue paper for you to see a pair of pale blue Nike Jordans resting against the brown interior of the box, its fresh white finish blinding your vision.

“I figured Cinderella needed her runners,” He mumbled shyly, cautiously inspecting your reaction.

You blinked, mouth now hanging fully open at the unexpected gift. Your eyes shifted to the same blue shoes on Jeno’s feet, recalling the day you had gushed about his shoes, joking about owning matching pairs. You didn’t expect him to remember your passing tease, nor did you expect to receive any gift as extravagant as this at all.

“Is this really for me?” You mustered out, words barely audible against the throbbing music from downstairs.

He nodded, taking out the sneakers to slip on your feet. You could feel your heart swelling by the minute as he began tying up your laces without a word. 

“It’s beautiful,” You observed the shoes from above, angling your feet from left to right with a smile pulling your lips, “Thank you so much Jeno, I really love it.”

A relieving grin broke out on his face, bringing you into a warm embrace. You took in his woody cologne as you snuggled against his neck before he faced you once again.

“You know⎯ after finding out the owner of the shoe, the prince and Cinderella live happily ever after right?” 

You giggled, cupping his cheeks, “Are you proposing to me right now Lee Jeno?”

A flush of pink crowded his cheeks, “N-No! Well, not yet at least.”

You amusingly hummed, eyes darting from his loving orbs to his heart-shaped lips.

“Will you be my girlfriend Y/N?” He uttered, slowly closing the gaps between your lips.

“Will this give you the answer?”

As your lips pressed against his, the memories of the first time you met came fluttering to your senses. It made sense, the way he randomly blurted out to take you on a date in the quad, the weird feeling of deja vu that overcame you whenever he played beer pong and the familiar movement of his lips.

Pulling away, you grasped the collar of his leather jacket, taking in the small metal studs which lined the edges of the zipper. It was the exact same one as that night. 

“It was you.” You whispered in awe, thumbing the bottom of his lips, “You found me.”

Jeno chuckled, caressing the top of your head.

“I did. I found my Cinderella.”

masterlist || previous | next

pairing: jeno x fem! reader

synopsis: it wasn’t often jeno showed emotions of love and affection, let alone kissing a stranger at a party that he doesn’t even remember?! determined to find his nameless cinderella, he began searching the campus far and wide but as hidden secrets started surfacing, he started to wonder whether the midnight spark was meant to be pursued after all.

genre: social media au, college au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, crack

warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol

taglist: open! feel free to send an ask or comment to be added :))) ~ @vellitac @ddeonuism @heavenly-seraphic @matchahyuck @pckeia @rinrinslovebot @dior-15 @raikea10 @justsayk @btssf9nct @ismileeprnc-responder @moonchele @mothmork @dandelionxgal @cheyehc @luvenshiti @friseealamode @pastelsicheng @silvsie @kpopshithead @ifyournameischoisanpleaseloveme @pewpewpwe00 @kindawack @mrkleelvr @shxnz @woneulz @kyuupidwrites @yunho-1999 @loveleejn @000rpheus @sehunniepot @kpopwh0r3 @sunflowerbebe07 @ahnneyong @minkyuncutie @xuimhao

permanent taglist: ~  @xxxx-23nct @maeumiluv @produmads @shwizhies @polarisjisung @dearlyminhyung @wooyoung-a @w3bqrl @daincty @deehyuck @ficrecnctskz @rv7hsua @n0hyuck @neosdaisy @baekhyunstruly @barbkh8450t @cupid-yuno @rum-gone-why @liliansun @mxnhoeuwu @dinonuguaegi

[thebluestbluewords]

custody battles

in honor of this post reigniting my brainrot about isle custody battles, have a little half a fic that’s been lingering in my drafts!

+

"Jay," Evie says. Begs. Her voice is so soft and so, so achingly kind. "It was never going to be us. She's going to one of Jordan's friends. They'll take her to Agrabah for the summer, and then she'll be back at Auradon Prep, and we can see her-" 

Jay's voice rips out of him like he's dragging the words over broken glass. "You can see her." 

Evie's eyes close for a moment. "You can see her too. Going to college isn't a death sentence, you know. You're allowed to come visit us." 

"Right. Like we're allowed to visit home." 

"That," Evie says softly, "Was uncalled for. I'm trying to bring over as many kids as I can--" 

"She's my family--"

"You're my family," Mal snaps. "And you're being a fuckin' jerk right now, jaybird." 

Jay explodes up into furious motion. He's not made for sulking, not built for it the way that Mal is. He's meant to be in motion, so it's better that he's pacing now, even if his jaw is set and angry and he's clenching his hands alternately into fists and tight, sharp flat-hand gestures. There's nerve clusters in the neck and wrist that are better served by a flat chop or pinch than a punch, and based on the motions that Mal's seeing, Jay's thinking about the one in the wrist that'll make the whole hand go numb. 

"They split us up--" Jay spits. 

"Because we can only take on so many kids." 

"They don't care. They don't. Care." Jay growls out. He's clenching his shoulders so tight that they're shaking. He's shaking all over, a low, furious vibration that the pacing isn't doing anything to fix. "We're numbers to them." 

"We're not just numbers to Ben," Mal points out. "He's one of them. We're people to him, and he's fighting for us." 

"Against his shitbag dad," Jay growls. "And the fucking government who fucking hate us. They're not gonna listen to him. They never fucking listen." 

"That's why we have to keep trying," Evie breaks in. "And trying again, and again, until we can get it through to them that we're more than just a bunch of numbers on paper that they can lock in a drawer the second we're out of their faces. We're being as loud as we can right now, and look at where it's gotten us. We have more kids coming over, and most foster families approved than we thought we were going to get, so we are making progress. Slow and steady will win this race in the end, Jay." 

Jay's shoulder twitches. He rolls his arm, all of the muscles in his back tight and visible, strung hard with tension. "Right. Yeah." 

"Jade's going to be fine. They're going to take care of her." 

"Yeah," Jay mutters. "Like we couldn't." 

Ouch. The insult isn't meant for her, but it still lands. They've been attached at the hip for so long, Mal-and-Jay, Jay-and-Mal, that the barbs Jay turns on himself land for her too. They're the ones who were supposed to protect the gang, and they're the two who failed their people. 

[lynnarang]

First Contact

Love at first sight is always bloody.

CW// transphobia

First time writing something in awhile, went a little longer than expected.

---------------------------------------------

“Look at him squirming, what a freak.”

These words, followed by a few mouthfuls of slurs, broke the wolfgirl from her stupor. It wasn’t unusual for her to dissociate a little while on public transit, crowds had never been good for her, but today something demanded attention from her and just about every other passenger on the train car. A group of four young men, probably frat boys based on the look of them, were crowded around a single passenger, jeering and laughing.

It didn’t take long to figure out what was going on. The unfortunate victim they were gathered around was a blonde woman in a simple sweater and skirt, her vibrant red eyes desperately examining the wall as if it would drive away her harassers. The wolf had noticed her when first stepping on the train, a cute little thing sinking into the corner of her seat as if she wanted to be invisible. Sadly for her, it hadn’t done her any good.

“You’re not fooling anyone bro.” “Bet that bra is fucking padded too.” “Bet he gets off putting it on.” Alright, that was enough. Normally she made a point of not involving herself in other’s business but the poor girl they were tormenting looked like she was going to implode at any moment. The wolf stood up, stretching out her limbs. Luckily transit was light today, and what few people were nearby had already shuffled over to further away seats, if not to escape the conflict then to escape the booze the small crowd reeked of. As she approached them, the automated announcer declared the approach of the next stop. “Hey.” The wolf chimed in with a hand on the shoulder of the man at the back of the group, barely holding herself back from crushing his clavicle. Her interruption only drew his attention, but that was enough for her. “What? You got a probl–”

His sentence was interrupted by the sudden impact of her fist caving in his cheek, sending him reeling into one of his friends.This yanked the spotlight over to the wolf, and as her first target let out a surprised half-choked squeal, the other three all looked at the sudden intruder on their fun with mixtures of anger and surprise. She could tell by watching their faces that it took a few moments before what had just happened to process fully, but she let them have those moments.

It was the one she assumed was the leader of the bunch who finally spoke up, his mocking laughter transformed into rage.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Behind him, the terrified blonde briefly locked eyes with her apparent savior, her wide eyes seemingly asking why the wolf had jumped to her rescue. She answered both these questions at once, with a slight shrug of her shoulders. “I just needed to blow off some steam and a few punching bags threw themselves in my way, that’s all.” They obviously didn’t like this answer because in the next few seconds all three men left standing rushed at her at once.

The scrap was messy, brutal, and finished just as the train doors for the next stop opened up. She’d punched one of the guys in the gut just as he hit her face, kneed another in the stomach as he tried to tackle her, and finished off by headbutting the leader when he tried to grab her arms. The end result was a group of men scattered around the train car, a few groaning in pain while one cried loudly about how his parents were going to sue for this. But she barely paid attention to any of them, the thrill of sudden combat still coursing through her veins. The wolf was left with a few obvious bruises from where she’d been hit, a stream of blood running down her nose, and a headache barely pounding louder than her adrenaline.

Without a word, she took a few victorious strides past the crowd waiting to board and onto the train platform, flipping off the confused security guard who came to yell at her but was too scared to actually approach her. It was only when she’d made her way out of the station and the adrenaline started to wear off that she heard the voice calling out to her. “H-Hey! Wait up!” For a brief moment she thought one of the guys she just beat up had shown up for round two, but when she turned around the one running towards her was the blonde from the train. The wolf stopped, letting the woman catch up. She didn’t even catch her breath before heaving out what she wanted to say. “I... Wanted to thank you… I-I wasn’t sure… what to do... and…” “You don’t have to thank me, I really was just relieving my own stress.” “B-But you saved me! Regardless of your motivations, you still saved me! How could your actions not be just?!” The way the woman talked so enthusiastically and the way her eyes sparkled when she looked up at her made the wolf unsteady, unsure how to react to such praise. “Look lady, it really wasn’t anything… They probably would have gotten bored of bothering you anyway…” “But even then! I was touched! N-Not in the sense that like, anyone touched me, but like my feelings were! Please, won’t you at least tell me your name so I can thank you properly?”

For a brief moment, the wolf considered the possibility that this was all an elaborate scheme and she was gonna get sued for a million dollars for breaking some rich kids face if she gave her name here, but one look at the earnest face of the excitable damsel scrubbed the thought from existence. “...Arang. My name is Arang.”

The blonde’s eyes lit up and she clasped her hands. “Arang! Thank you Arang! My name is Sephina. It’s been really nice to… meet you…” Sephina’s voice trailed off as she looked around. Somehow, Arang already knew what she was about to say next. “Oh… I uh… Where are we exactly? I think I got off on the wrong stop… ehe…”

Arang felt like she was being dragged through a hurricane with the speed this woman shifted moods. “...We’re just south of the harbor.” “How far is that from downtown, exactly..?” “About a forty minute walk. And yes, that was the last train for the night.” The color drained from Sephina’s face as the weight of her mistake dawned on her. She looked utterly pathetic in a way that Arang couldn’t help but find cute, like a kitten that kept trying to make a jump that was too big for it. “..Do you want me to walk you home?” Like someone had just hit rewind, Sephina immediately lit back up. “Would you? I-I wouldn’t want to impose…” “I live that way anyway, it’s not a big deal.” “Then… Yes! I would love to walk with you Arang!”

Sephina beamed, using the wolf’s name again eagerly. There was something about the way she said it that made Arang’s heart feel like it was floating… She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not but she decided that for now she liked it. “I’ll lead the way then. You can tell me when you start to recognize buildings so we know we’re close to your place.”

 Sephina nodded energetically but then froze to ponder something. “But wait, if you live this way too, doesn’t that mean you also got off on the wrong st-” “Finish that sentence and you’re walking home alone.”

Arang would never forget the way the heat rushing to her cheeks felt as Sephina laughed at her in that moment.

[song-tam]

i am SO distressed right now what the fuckkkkk. i read a BUNCH of orv to pass time on a long plane ride and i think that was maybe not one of my best ideas……….. screaming sobbing punching the wall dramatically i hate this book so much

i’m right before they all group regress and Fuck. What The Fuck. i finally know what 51/49 means and can i go back to not knowing. what the fuck. and then,,,, yjh’s 0th turn???? if i continue to regress will i ever get to meet you again??????? that affecting the other world line??????????? and even before that too, with the oldest dream reveal,, FUCK. like i sort of expected it but it was still so devastating to read. and THEN. the quote that’s like “the oldest dream was the worlds most omniscient yet powerless god” or something. OW. i feel like i’ve been stabbed repeatedly. every time i type out another sentence in this ask i want to sob.

and then,,,,, his companions realizing something’s wrong. han sooyoung being the first to act on this because the kim dokja she knows best is the one that isn’t here. yoo joonghyuk choosing to regress (in both this world and the 0th turn) for that sliver of a chance that he’ll see kdj again. and the fact that kdj doesn’t consider even once that this might happen, that his companions would realize something was different. and this isn’t even something new! in all the times he sacrifices himself, he fails to truly acknowledge how much it affects the ones he cares about. he doesn’t comprehend (or is unwilling to comprehend) how much he is loved. his happily ever after doesn’t even include him, not fully — and i don’t think he believes he’s deserving of that happily ever after, either. he’s a reader. he doesn’t realize that this is his own story, too. goddddd i hate this book SO much (<- lying)

ORV ON PLANE RIDES SO REAL…….. tbh it’s such a Plane Book something abt being thousands of feet in the sky in a giant heap of metal while reading the most devastating piece of media to ever exist. what a vibe truly

WHEN I TELL YOU IWAS GAGGED AT 49/51. HONESTLY. kdj CONSTANTLY sacrificing himself to save his friends because these are the same people that have BEEN saving him since was fifteen fuck my life. god.

0TH TURN YJH IS SO INSANE the way it all comes back to those two. i literally could write paragraphs abt 0th turn they make me feral he guided him through all of it he got to see an ending where yjh got to live a long happy life and it’s what he was reading for the entire time im actually

oldest dream & kdj………….. tbh i think that must be so heartbreaking on both sides. kdj seeing his younger self and being so upset because at the end of the day it was him causing suffering for the people he loves most but oldest dream seeing his older self coming to fucking kill him and thinking that it didn’t get any better at all. he can’t even be loved by himself who else would love him then

YES HIS COMPANIONS GODDDDD the yoohankim of it all makes me SO sick actually. especially han sooyoung because hey he was supposed to be her reader. that’s what he promised her. instead she has a version of kdj that doesn’t even really read anymore and what kind of kdj is that? and yjh wanting to get kdj back because he was promised they’d see the ending TOGETHER and instead he doesn’t even have a full half of him. promises made promises broken to BOTH OF THEM fuck i’m unwell

kdj i hate you and your self sacrifice. i’m literally. exactly what you said tbh like he is loved!!!!!! and he doesn’t fucking realize it. but the thing is he would be dense to not know and that’s why 49!kdj exists in the first place bc he’s hoping that will be enough for them to just fucking sit still and live their lives. in his head he’s downplaying his importance which is why he gives them a fucking replacement

AUGHHH fine line between reader and protagonist and writer and the way all the roles are interchangeable and im. yeah. god

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #227

Today was the day.

I put on my socks.

Then I put on my eyeballs.

Then I put on the first layer of things.

Then I put on the next layer of things:

I don't have a black leather coat; I have a cream-colored knit one. I don't have heavy pauldrons; I have feathers on my shoulders. I don't have a super long sword; I have a super long flute. I don't have glowing mako-colored eyes; I have rainbow-colored ones.

Even in this, it was a lot to endure. I don't really know how you move in all your gear; it must be pretty miserable. I bet you'd be a lot more comfortable in some loose jeans or maybe even sweatpants. And a loose t-shirt, or maybe a loose turtleneck. Something easy to wear, in a space where armor isn't necessary.

In any case, this is what I went to the space in. And I waited in front of the room where the developers would be. I waited for a long time. I passed the time by playing on my flute and singing a little. J was with me the whole time. He helped to keep me level. It's not lost on me how lucky I am to have such a steadfast source of support at my side. I'd do just about anything for him, too, in return. Even someone I know from the internet, @sephiroths-stuff, popped by to keep us company! It was wonderful!

The panel didn't last for very long. But still, for a moment, I locked eyes with one of the three very important people. He gave me a brief nod, I think, unless he was nodding at something or someone else. Lots of questions were asked of these folks; people had many very interesting and excellent questions. It was wonderful to hear them, and it was wonderful to hear their joyful responses; the interpreter did an amazing job. There was a lot of laughter. These very important people... they have some of the most radiant smiles I've seen, and they had answers to the questions that were very well thought out. I was very impressed.

At the end, a handful of people popped by to see them. It was a short line. They wanted photographs and such, and that was pretty neat; they seemed happy to do it. I was also in this line.

Sephiroth. I was remembered. I was remembered from last time. The person I spoke to and handed my first letter and best handicraft to... he remembered me. And he told me so in English. I was awestruck. But I'm not sure how I expressed that; my mind was moving so fast that I could barely even keep up. My hands were shaking.

I had a bag of gifts prepared for you:

It contained a new letter for you, some stuff for the developers, a rolled-up pile of motivational things from the internet (lots of it repeats stuff I already said, but maybe seeing it from other places too will give my voice a little more weight...). All three of my music box papers were in there - the originals that I punched out for you - but no music box; it's fragile and I don't know how well it'll hold up on an airplane trip. I included a tin full of that tea in your favorite scents - vanilla and rose. And, of course, it included the locket I made for you.

Now that these things are in the hands of their intended recipients... I'll show you some pictures. Here:

The folded note contained a bunch of tiny QR codes. I tested them. They work:

Inside the locket is also a tiny Herkimer diamond with a rainbow spark inside; you can almost see it in this photograph, but my camera can't do it justice:

...Tea.

...The music box papers:

...And you'll find the letter contained within right here:

I wanted to include the tree I made in your colors, but I thought twice about it; it's fragile, and might not survive a plane trip.

...It's all in their hands now, along with a plea for you. I managed to squeak out a couple of awkward sentences in Japanese on your behalf. They took the whole bag of gifts. So I guess we'll see what happens. I'll hope for good things. I'll hope for good things...

I left the room. And with my quest complete... I kind of... broke down and cried just a little. Just a little. But my body didn't stop shaking for a long time.

J thought it would be a good idea to get the excess energy out of my body. So he walked me around the complex just a little. And then we went to the place where there was Dance Dance Revolution. And I played two songs on DDR! But I was not used to the metal pad, and my feet couldn't move right in my shoes, and the costume was heavy, and so... I didn't do very well. But I played with a delightful gentleman, and he didn't seem to mind that I wasn't very good. He smiled at me a lot and was very encouraging, and it was wonderful!

...Maybe I'll play on my frankenpad a little when I go home... That'd be good.

Tomorrow, when I go to the place to see the voice actors panel, I will wear normal clothes - my characteristic long cardigan and Eevee hat. My usual cardigan has pockets; I'll be able to bring the plush of you this time without needing to worry about it getting lost. It'll be very good!

For now, we are back at the hotel. I am very tired. But I did the thing. I did what I came to do. This quest is done with.

...Sephiroth. Do you see how loved you are? Do you see that someone out here is willing to do terrifying things for your sake? Sephiroth... do you have any idea how long it's taken me, after the life I've led, to be able to use my voice like this? Do you understand that I am able to be braver than I normally would be, because of you? Do you see the strength your existence gives me? Do you see me crawling up out of the hole that my birth family tried to bury me in, because it is your voice and presence that I am following back to the light? Do you see me, and all the shattered pieces of me that I wove together into a beautiful, kaleidoscopic whole?

Sephiroth. I'm going to beg you to follow me into the light, too, okay? Please.

For now... I guess I'll rest a bit until tomorrow. I found a new flavor of kefir over here that's not at the stores at home - guava!! And I found a kombucha flavor that isn't found at home, too - strawberry!

And I also found this one; this one is flower-flavored. I wonder if you'd like it:

I love you. Please look at the lengths to which I'll go in order to ask you to stay safe, and then please actually stay safe. Promise me, okay?

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[oohbuggypie]

it's both my God given right and duty to never shut up so i am going 2 not be quiet about BullDon 🫡 putting all text ("analysis", fanfic reccs, general rambling) under a read more so those who don't gaf can scroll easy 🩷 HERE WE GO !!

(all fanfics and their respective author are linked within their titles 🩷)

-------------------------------------------------------

K WHERE DO I START . their dynamic, past the obvious matador and bull trope, is so interesting to me. i think that their backgrounds have so many similarities; Don is a matador and is shown to have hundreds of people gathered in a stadium to watch his match, and Bull is watched relentlessly by the paparazzi. but they both have very different reactions to the fame and attention they receive. Don soaks it up and Bull can't stand it, and i think it contributes to their odd, almost mirror dynamic a lot

past that is their personalities and ethics,, both of them are SO full of themselves i actually almost forget, with Bull only being slightly more humble (cuz he can't exactly brag about his looks 😭) . Don is more prideful than he is cocky imo; but he's VERY expressive of his anger and distaste for losing, which makes him kind of paralell to my idea of Bull. though this follows more of a headcanon of mine and not whats in the game, i think Bull is really calm outside his persona in the ring (i.e his intermissions,,, he's being friendly if anything with Doc and he speaks so calm and low in Title Defense). unlike Don, he's shown actually building endurance and managing his emotions compared to his Contender cutscnene, essentially the OPPOSITE of Don, who only gets more sour and negative after he loses. i think in that aspect they're complete opposites but that switch makes their dynamic and relationship so much more complex to me

in the ring i think they share the factor of channeling their anger to help them succeed; Don is stronger when he's pissed at his missing toupee and Bull is .. Bull ? the Bull charge and his gut punch in Title Defense are very telling if his entire character isn't about how genuinely angered that man can be and i think that gives them a more complex element to how they'd work together; they're both sour and ugly about being perceived/looked at (more literally) in a way they don't want to, so that's just another thing that i find so interesting .. they have a BUNCH in common yet they're drastically different when you look at their characters generally

K NOW FANFIC RAMBLE TIME 🩷

Suficiente:

if anybody knows the author DetectiveCapan from AO3 personally im so dead srs when i say u should message them and praise them. i could not stfu about their BullDon writing and im not going to in a paragraph or two here but OH MY GODD. i have always avoided both actual books and fics alike that are written choppy and simplistic, and especially ones that lack atmosphere simply cuz they're just unappealing and hard to make me feel what's actually going on. but their BullDon trilogy ?? somehow their style of writing, which doesn't use complex words or long sentences packed with detail, is genuinely some of my favorite that i have EVERR read . they make the emotions the characters are feeling SO easy to understand and feel even without exaggerated expressions and dramatic descriptions it's actually kind of incredible ? and the bit of humor isn't overbearing, it's just silly and it sets up the atmosphere, which never ends up terribly serious. they write relationships with a familiarity in the atmosphere and actions that have been unachievable in any other piece of fiction ive read and the gestures omg .. IM GONNA BE SPECIFIC IN MY RECCS SO YOU'LL HEAR MORE ABOUT IT BUT OMGG. DETECTIVECAPAN IF U SEE THIS BLESS UR HEART SERIOUSLY UR AN AMAZING AUTHOR 🩷🩷 PLEASE KEEP DOING WHAT U DO UR WONDERFUL AND I'D LOVE 2 SEE MORE OF UR WORK ABT BULLDON / PUNCH OUT!! WII IN GENERAL 🥹 now the recc list!!

possibly my favorite out of all three and it's literally the first one 😭 ough i could gush about this one FOR SO LOOONG ,,, i love how they immediately establish Don's mindset and attitude with how he both admires and pities the World Circuit for what they get and what they go through. when Don's out of the shower and he sees Bull half dressed there's no implication of sexual tension despite them being mostly undressed in front of each other and thats actually SO special to me because i had a morethanfriendship just like this and they captured the reality of it in a perfect way, like feeling for feeling . same in the way that Bull watches Don get dressed; they mention he stares but he doesn't have a corny, shocked "omg i hope he didn't notice me" reaction to catching himself. instead they mutually understand that they're admiring each other and they just smile about it . LIKE UGH THATS SO SPECIAL TO ME OMGG. and also Don putting on his - what'd id assume - rosary and then dabbing cologne behind his ears .. literally clutched my own cross necklace like omg that detail makes me crazyy i love the religion mention sm 😭

also UGH Bull's mannerisms .. a little annoyed at Don but there's such an endearing thing about it; he's annoyed at his demands but he complies anyway cuz even though he knows Don is purposely trying to make him a little pissed, he likes him enough to and he knows it'll make him happy .. THERE'S A DEEPER SENSE TO IT AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS BUT IT'S HARD TO WORDD 😭 also Bull being quick tempered about small things like the radio playing static and the music not being his taste .. and just the mutual like attachment they have with each other.. Bull never says anything about taking Don "home" (his hotel room) but Don knows exactly to get in his car and go with him anyway ,, and i cannot stress hard enough that it's just the little things seriously. i will never ever be regular about Bull liking to tie Don's boot laces, or promising to get his favorite beer when he offers it, or purposely (and patiently) waiting for him to get out of the shower so they can talk 🥹 like all those little gestures of love that show that he really does care . also possibly my favorite thing about this whole trilogy is that they have a very unestablished relationship ! it's never explicitly stated that they're dating or in love or anything even romantic but there areee quick mentions that imply (if im reading them correctly) that they're def a bit more than friends i.e Don mentioning how he thought his skin would burn from being in Bull's shower water temps ,, but the fact that it's not an established relationship and they don't outright express romantic interest in one another makes it SO much more special. it sets a completely different tone that creates warmth, familiarity, and comfort between them 😭

that's about that for Suficiente .. I LOVE IT SO MUCHH 😭 PLS READ IT, LEAVE KUDOS, AND IF U CAN COMMENT UR PRAISES !! 🩷 it is so well deserved genuinely. now on2 the next:

La Cosa Sobre El Pelo:

ugh i love this one equally as much. im gonna be repeating a lot of the same praises and ideas from "Suficiente" bcuz the whole trilogy creates the same kind of atmosphere but i still wanna gush about and explain it 🥹 omgg the paragraph about Don having a bald ass head and it scaring away the ladies made me giggle SO BAD . also UGH okay .. the sentiment of Don being vulnerable enough to confess his biggest insecurity to Bull, and for Bull to actually reflect and think about it so long after he's been told and reciprocate the vulnerability by showing Don a photograph of him before he lost his hair .. OUFFFGGHH actually the cutest and sweetest thing ever . also i am a nitpicker and a sucker for small details and i just absolutely LOVE how naturalistic the author makes the characters move. like Don doesn't get up and stand to grab the photo off the nightstand, he leans over and props himself up with his elbow and continues sipping on his beer when he's observing it like any other person would .. ugh i LOVE that detail , i get a little bothered when people write characters to be unnaturally animated in a setting where it doesn't exactly make sense to be, so that's another aspect of their writing that i appreciate soo much 😭 also it's the gestures omg .. when Bull grabs Don's thigh and shakes it and Don doesn't jerk away or question the closeness , he just leans back onto the bed and continues/ends their conversation about how he'll look bad with no hair and Bull looks good without it ,, I LOVE THAT SO BAADDD again it's the familiarity the meaning of Bull's gestures ,, the care that they quietly express instead of directly saying it .. GAWDD that's like my fav thing 😭 there's something so special about the silent concern and care that Bull has for Don in their writing; the small actions and the thought behind them do so much more than what words could say and i think it's super in character for him as well .. literally stellar i think i need to reread and add onto this one once i look at it again but I LOVE THIS ONE SO SO MUCHH 🩷

[multiphandommess]

Jealous

Requested by - @lolapeirce241

Request - thank you. Could you do something where they go for dinner with their friends and one of their friends starts flirting with the reader? and the reader tries to shut it down immediately but Natasha gets upset maybe when they get into the car Natasha starts shouting at the reader and this causes a massive argument between them. and then when they get home the reader starts packing a bag and storms out to stay with her sister. Natasha struggles without her so when the reader comes home Nat breaks down in tears because she's scared of losing her the reader comforts her and they apologize to each other. sorry this is so long, thank you!

A/N - Sorry this is a little short! I hope you enjoy it!

I could not have predicted how this night would go. It started calm but ended in a mess. We were at a bar. We had gone out with friends after a bunch of us got a bunch of new projects. We were all at least tipsy, a lot of our friends were considerably drunk. Most notably, my friend Sam. They had asked me out before I met Natasha but I turned them down. I know that they got upset because me and Nat had started dating quickly after I turned them down. Despite this, they have never been malicious to me Nat…or at least where we could see or hear it. Sam was drunk off their ass and was starting to make advances on me. “Hey, pretty baby,” Sam slurred. “Hi, Sam. Please stop calling me that,” I replied, turning them down. “Come on, don’t be a prude! Give Sammy a kiss~” They slurred again. “I’m not a prude, I am in a relationship. I will not cheat on someone I love because you are horny,” I said, however, this did not persuade them. I could tell that Natasha was angry. Her hand was possessively on my thigh and she was glaring at Sam who was too drunk to realize. “But you could be with me, not that whore,” They slurred once more. This sent me over the edge, I punched my *now* ex-friend, breaking their nose, “Don’t fucking say that about her!” Natasha was shocked but dragged me out of there. As soon as we left, she started yelling, “Just a friend, huh?! Sam doesn’t like you anymore, huh?! What the fuck?! How the hell are you so naive?!” “What the hell, Nat?!” I yelled back, “Do you think I wanted that?! I just punched someone! How the hell does that translate to me wanting that?!” “GET IN THE FUCKING CAR, NOW!” She screamed. I was shocked. I had a lot of yelling a screaming trauma that I had been working through, but using that sentence, one that brought me back to my version of hell on earth, was my final straw. I got in, slammed the door, and put my headphones on to block her out. She rolled her eyes and got in after me. After a tense, angry car ride home, I stormed in and started packing a bag. I was sad, tipsy, and stuck in a bad headspace, a match made in hell. I tried to pack quickly but the tears streaming down my face were hard to see through. Natasha walked in to yell again when she saw what I was doing, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” “I’M GOING TO STAY WITH AMY!” I yelled, slipping my last things into my bag, before walking out of the room. She was angry, “FINE! GO STAY WITH HER! WHY DON’T YOU GO SEE SAM WHILE YOU’RE AT IT!” “SO YOU’RE GOING THAT LOW?!” I yelled, opening the front door, and slamming it on my way out. 

It had been a rough few days. I had collapsed into my sister's arms that night and she let me stay with her. Her fiance was away for the week so her full attention was on me and making me feel better. After 3 days, I returned to my apartment and I was shocked at what I saw. Natasha was passed out on the couch, with bags under her eyes, surrounded by fast food wrappers and random cups. I felt really bad and started to clean up her mess. When her eyes finally opened, I was doing the dishes, and she was shocked. “Baby?” She asked before slamming her body into mine, “Please don't leave again! I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have said those things. I trust you, I promise, I just don’t trust others, and I can’t live without you! Please let me make it up to you!” I was shocked at her desperation, “Honey, couples fight. It’s healthy and I won’t leave you after a small thing like this. I promise.” I pulled her into a big hug and held her close, “I’m not going anywhere, Nat. I mean it. I love you, there’s no need to be jealous.”

[thewizardingtoad]

Zod Exarion in the novel, my favorite scenes that were left out or not included that much, fun facts and more

Chess chess chess

(Novel chapter: 29)

So the manhwa isn't really telling with Zod's moods throughout the scene, but Desir put him through the gutter with that mach.

Desir thinks a lot about the differences between this Zod and the one from the labyrinth, between their play styles, and how the labyrinth affected him in the long run in small ways. It's also mentioned that the two of them carved out their chess pieces themselves.

Also Zod's pretty upset with Desir, like straight up how dare you suggest your idea worth as much as a sponsorship from the magic tower get out of my sight kind of upset. It's pretty funny actually, especially when Desir shows him just how much his idea is worth, and he straight up cancels all of his meeting that day.

Actually just go read that scene it's not long but it does so SO much to establish these two's relationship for the whole story it's really just amazing.

Fun fact: In universe, there's a book that details all of Zod's accomplishments; it's thicker than most encyclopedias.

Fun fact 2: While in the manhwa he's described as a man in his forties, the novel says that he's at worst 30 which is pretty funny.

Fun fact 3: In universe he has an 'archaic feeling to his word' which I think is pretty cool, like??? Yeah. I can see that.

Who are you really?

(Novel chapter: 84)

So the interrogation scene's also a bit different, Desir is very stressed out while Zod is fucking with him, admitting to not even wanting an answer in the first place, and during that convo Desir describes Zod this way:

Desir only saw Zod acting as the master of the Magic Tower, cold and calculative in all circumstances, and as the Seventh-Circle wizard with an insatiable curiosity in finding the truth of all things.

Which is not really a description that we get in the manhwa, but it definitely puts a lot of things into perspective.

Also, this chapter has a lot of important moments in it regarding some things that will be said later, a few notable mentions:

"My intuition tells me to trust you. And when I gave you all of my power, I decided to believe this groundless intuition."

His intuition as a wise man was telling him that Desir was very reliable.

He would never know the circumstances surrounding Desir but he could see his heart.

Where he admits that he trusts Desir taking the weight of his secret off his chest

"Haha... I'm sorry. But I give you my word. I won't ask about your identity anymore. Everyone has their own secrets that they can't share with anybody. I also have a bunch of secrets that I don't want anybody to know."

Where he reassures him when he sees that Desir isn't handling his little fuckery well

Zod's smile was amazingly warm. It was like the smile of a grandfather looking at his grandson.

And of course this motherfucking sentence which is a gut punch and a half ngl.

So clearly chapter 84 putting down the groundwork for *the scene that the mannwa haven't adopted yet and at this point I'm not sure if they will,* aka: the most painful thing ever

But before that:

Fun fact 3: apparently Zod's a good actor? Lol.

The flying ship of death flag

(Novel chapter: 249)

So of course a lot of things happened between these chapters but this is the one that I want to point out because. Well.

So in the manhwa Desir says 'build a flying ship' Zod builds a flying ship and all's well that ends well right? Not really.

You see The Flying ship Valkyrie is not just any random insane idea that Desir came up with but in fact The Ultimate Dream Project of Zod Exarion - the one from the labyrinth, y'know - and isn't that just great?

There's something poetic about Desir making sure Zod can manage to reach his dream, his ultimate goal, even after death. (Something something the student carrying their master's will something something reaching your parent's goals after their passing to feel closer to them etc. etc.)

Oh, it's also a pretty big death flag, but don't worry about that.

Fun fact: this scene emphasizes the fact that Zod wasn't "just" a magician, a lot. "The ship was the ultimate goal he wanted to reach as an engineer", "he lamented that he couldn't spend his life satisfactorily as an engineer"

Fun fact 2: And he whined about it a lot! No, I'm sorry ranted.

I'm gonna just put his here because god dammit I love this man:

In Desir’s previous life, Zod often lamented over the fact that he couldn’t spend his life satisfactorily as an engineer. When the Shadow Labyrinth arose, he was forced to discard his position of Tower Master and bear his title as the lone Seventh-Circle magician.

Desir recalled these scenes of frustration as clearly as if they had happened yesterday. Most often, Zod would rant while they played chess.

The quiet before the storm

(Novel chapter: 275)

So the fact that there is a traitor is revealed and we get this very cute scene:

Realizing that Desir had immediately jumped to the worst situation, and his mind had consumed itself with the task of discovering who, Zod immediately rushed to calm Desir down.

Zod had always been like this, even in Desir’s previous life. He was Desir’s rock, the one who would support him in his times of need. That was why Desir trusted Zod more than anyone else.

Which again alludes to the *surprise* we will be slapped with in the face soon, but really this is just nice.

“I have some good news. Actually, I only dropped by to share this.”

Zod’s eyes changed. The wise eyes, which seemed to encompass everything, were nowhere to be found, and the eyes of an excitable child appeared within a moment.

‘Here we go again.’

As an engineer, he used to show such eyes when he was discussing things that interested him. No matter how much time passed, Zod Exarion was a reliable constant.

And I'm also just putting my favorite quotes here, don't mind me. There's also a point I'm making, and I will get to that when I reach the end.

Oh hi Priscilla what are you doing with that artifa-

(Novel chapter: 278)

So this is exciting because we get the first second appearance description for Zod which is

He looked as miserable as the smashed tower.

Glossy black hair moved in the breeze.

So that's funny.

Actually I could start describing this scene in great detail, go over every little thing I wish was in the manhwa, but really, you should go read it because it's a lot. This act kind of starts from 275 and is I think the saddest one in the story.

For instance, Zod admits that he's thinking of the battle in chess terms and that makes him think of Desir, how he apparently lost a mach the first time in decades.

He's thinking a lot about his and Desir's relationship, and we get golden lines like this one:

It was no exaggeration to say that Desir was the only one who could share ideas with Zod throughout all the fields of his expertise, and talk casually with him.

The act also really drives home how Zod is THE BEST OF THE BEST when it comes to magic. He holds his ground with only his own mana to help him against Priscilla and 4 swordsmen, whose defense equals the aurora system!

Fun fact: He lost both an arm and a leg during the fight, while the manhwa only showed the loss of an arm

Fun fact 2: Zod's cane, which was a constant in the novel (read: It wasn't changed every time it appeared) had a first tear magic stone in it that was like a national treasure.

Aaand we reached where the manhwa is right now... kinda

I was going to add another segment and a long, Long rant to the "2nd half" of this post, but I don't want to ruin the kind of positive vibe of it, so I'm going to put that one in another post.

First I will go through the things that made That Scene in the novel work, why I'm disappointed how he manhwa's handling it, predictions on how the whole "Helena thing" will play out and then some final thoughts, so that's coming soon.

[secretgamergirl]

Gotta love that automation of moderation, don’t you?

So hey, it’s almost the end of the month, which means it’s time for my monthly tradition of making a little post over on that one website whose new owner is doing an amazing job of flushing it down the toilet, and look what I see:

Like nearly everything I post on that site, you will of course note that that’s clearly starting mid-sentence. I make a conscious habit of doing that specifically so that any time someone tries to take a single post out of context to defame me, it’s plainly obvious to onlookers that they aren’t seeing the whole thing. The full context for this for instance is here, if you’re curious. It’s part of a big post I made back in March on the Trans Day of Visibility, talking about how I don’t partake in the general tradition of posting a bunch of selfies and career highlights because stalkers are looking for ammo, you know, case in point.

So, first off it’s probably worth noting that this was actually flagged at 2:40 AM on November 23rd. A whole 8 months later, in the middle of the night, the day before Thanksgiving. So I’m going to make an educated guess that what probably happened here is one of the various foaming at the mouth bigots, probably living in England where it is neither a holiday nor a weird time to be up and looking to start crap, decided it was a good time to try and ruin my life some more, did a nice simple little search for my handle and the word “kill” and just punched through the “sending a death threat” form using a succession of burner accounts until the post stopped loading. Pretty standard tactic there.

This of course confirms my theory that while the entire staff of humans handling abuse reports is most likely no longer employed at Twitter, save for whatever skeleton crew is hyper-focused on permanently suspending people for making jokes at Elon Musk’s expense, the automated system that generates messages like this based purely on submission volume is still up and running.

So... here’s where this gets dicey. Before me are two buttons I can press. I can click that shiny blue text that says “appeal” at which point, as I understand all this, I will be given a little form where I can type a message along the lines of “hey, this was clearly sent in error. While part of what I was saying is cut off due to this being somewhere in the middle of a 50 or so post long thread, it’s still quite plain here that I am talking about being on the receiving end of violent threats, not making one myself.” At this point I would be locked out of touching the website in any way shape or form until this form is looked over by... someone who to my knowledge is no longer actually employed, nor slated to be replaced by anyone, plunging me into eternal limbo.

The second option is that I can click that big red “Delete” button, breaking this big long thread in half (which honestly doesn’t concern me too much, I’ve made much better versions of this sort of speech, and don’t really expect anyone to naturally find something from 8 months ago), but A- I’m pretty sure doing so would permanently flag my account as some sort of troublemaker, and much more importantly B- We have this little sentence above that button that says “By clicking Delete, you acknowledge that your Tweet violated the Twitter Rules.” Now aside from the raw pedantry of knowing damn well that it most certainly did no such thing, the rule it is erroneously claiming that I broke is... threatening to murder someone. Pretty sure, legally, that is not a thing you want to formally confess to doing if you didn’t actually do so. For that matter I’m also pretty sure that making a blatant false accusation that I did is libelous or something, but I dunno. If any lawyers are trying to round out their pro bono quota before the end of the year and want to explore that, let me know I guess?

So... I’m pretty terrified about what’d happen pressing either of these two buttons, and without doing so (or probably with doing so for that matter) I cannot post anything nor even look at anything on Twitter there for the foreseeable future. Which... is kind of a really serious problem financially. My two professions are journalism, which is just completely 100% tied to that site as the only way one can presently pitch stories to most editors, and game design, where freelance work is in the exact same boat where the only real way to get it is to pester editors on there. And it’s also kinda the place where I’d normally plug my Patreon, which aside from what freelance work I can find is literally my only financial lifeline, and is presently pretty darn low because people tend to unsubscribe to these sorts of things around the holidays to build up that gift money. And I am broke broke. Like, I have this last week of this month to find a little money somehow in a hurry or I won’t have enough to pay my rent and my electric bill. Next month, I won’t have rent covered even without electricity. Seeing as we’re heading into an unusually cold winter, there’s a chance I’m going to actually freeze to death because of this.

So if you’ve bothered reading all this... help? Like, share this blog post around, link to it on what’s left of Twitter and/or on whatever alternative you may have jumped over to? Pester whoever’s left on Twitter’s support staff about this clearly having been flagged in bad faith? Maybe try and get this in front of some media people? Or an editor willing to just commission me to write about it directly (or, you know, about anything else? There’s been a lot of recent stories in the news about transphobic laws and hate crimes and that’s explicitly been my beat for the past decade or so). Maybe throw some cash at that aforementioned Patreon to help buy me another month of barely scraping by? This is kinda life or death for me.

[yourlocallyneysimp]

The Villainess Finally Gets Revenge! Ch. 1

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of execution

Honestly, how could you be so blind?

To not see the fakeness behind those “Pretty” blue eyes. 

All of your life you were known as the future queen, the favorite child, the spoiled brat, but now look at you. 

You were currently working as a maid in the castle as punishment, but even so, you would be facing your execution in three months. You were supposed to face your doom a long time ago, but your ‘replacement’ decided that you should work for a bit until the day finally came. Everyone thought that she was being too kind, but you knew that she wanted to see you suffer and that she just wanted to look good as the future queen. You might've been behind bars, but you weren’t foolish. You could read that woman like an open book. 

The woman that decided to steal your spotlight was known as your adopted sister, Addalyn. People say that she was blessed with chalk white skin and bright blonde hair, but to you, she looked like a ghost. She wasn’t much to look at in your opinion. You considered yourself to be the more charming person to look at. 

She was only supposed to be a mere commoner, but she somehow caught the eyes of your ex fiance and many others that used to work for you in the castle to the point that even your own mother and father decided to adopt her, but she was the least of your troubles.

Your ex fiance, Arthur, betrayed you and cheated on you by sneaking out of the castle at night to meet with your ‘sister.’ You didn’t notice it at first because you were blinded by love, but after a few months you started hearing rumors. The maids had always despised you and they always talked nicely about Addalyn, but it startled you when you abruptly heard them mentioning her and your fiance in the same sentence. You didn’t think much of it since you thought the maids were just blind and couldn’t see your love for him, but after listening more into their conversation, you started to realize these were not just rumors. These were real. 

“The prince has been sneaking out with Addalyn a lot lately.” and, “Don’t you see the way he looks at her? He clearly loves Addalyn.” 

Hearing all of this hurt your heart a lot, you might've not been the best person, but you genuinely loved him. For him to stab you in the back like that hurt you to the bone, but you refused to believe it. You wanted to see if this statement was true yourself even though deep down in your heart you knew. 

Trying to see if this was really true, you decided to catch him in the act and confront him yourself. When he snuck out, you tailed him trying to see if you would sight your sister in the distance.

After a bit, you eventually ended up in one of the old gardens that was partly abandoned. The garden was unpleasant, full of bugs and had a bunch of overgrown leaves and messed up your dress, but that didn’t bother you in the slightest. Your eyes were completely glued to the sight right in front of you. There was your bastard sister greeting your fiance with a kiss on the cheek. 

You don’t really remember, but something in you that day broke. You couldn’t tell whether it was your heart or your sanity, you could care less in that moment. All you knew was that you have been hit with the feeling of betrayal and an overwhelming amount of shock. 

You didn’t know why, but your body seemed to move on its own. It was only a matter of time before you were flat out running towards them. 

When you reached them, Arthur and Addalyn both shared a look of shock. 

You confronted them head on and asked why he would do this to you and why he couldn’t just tell you the truth. 

When you said this, Arthur had calmed down and had a resting look on his face. You wanted to punch him because of his heartlessness. 

All you remember was yelling, screaming, and lots of tears. And then he said those last words to you, the five words that ended it all. Those words made it feel like your whole life was over, that you just lost everything you cared about. He said it with such confidence that it didn’t feel like he was just talking; he meant it. 

"I don’t love you anymore.”

And that’s when everything went black. You barely remembered anything that happened after that. All you know is that you eventually woke up in your room all by yourself.

The blinds were closed, most of your stuff was gone, and you didn’t even hear a sound outside in the hallways. You layed in bed thinking about your now ex-fiance. Did he feel at least a little guilt for cheating on you? Probably not. Especially since you treated everyone else like crap. He was probably tired of you. Did you care at this point? Not anymore, your marriage was over…

—

You thought about your personal butler and maid, you could care less about them. Hell, you didn’t even know their names! To you, they were just more commoners that got ‘lucky’ enough to take care of you. Well at least you thought.

Even so, you weren’t expecting for them to suddenly tell the queen that you were the one sending Addalyn threatening letters. 

She claimed that she had been getting death threats from someone and she didn’t know who, so the whole palance turned against you. They knew how jealous you got, which was true, but you knew that you werent sending those letters. You defended yourself until the end, until you were confronted by the queen herself, your mother. 

She obviously didn’t seem so happy about the news so your mother, taking a deep breath, told you that you would be under house arrest until further notice. You declined and complained of course, but all of the maids and butlers in the room defended your mother and sister saying that it was the ‘truth.’ In the end, you ended up being in your room for a whole month. 

After being released, you heard the news about your fiance cheating on you which turned out to be true. After you blacked out, you somehow ended up in your room. 

—

So that brings you here now. All alone in your room without a sound to hint that someone was at least outside of your room door. 

You layed in bed thinking about what happened. What did you do to receive such cruelty? Even though you weren’t aware of your wrong doings, you still wanted someone to tell you the truth. Then maybe you could somehow better yourself. 

But all of those thoughts soon faded away as soon as you saw your ‘sister’ and your mother enter the room, both with unpleasant expressions on their faces. 

Your sister was hiding behind your mother while your mother seemed upset, or rather angry about something. 

“Y/n, we need to talk about something..serious. It’s about Adalyn and your future.”

You could tell at that moment that it wasn’t going to be something good judging by the cold expression she was giving you, and you were right. The news she gave you was worse than unpleasant. 

She told you that you wouldn’t be queen anymore and that you would be punished severely for your actions.

“Actions??? What did I do?!” 

This only seemed to make her angrier since her eyebrows furrowed even more which you didn’t even know was possible. 

"Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about! Trying to assassinate your sister is utterly unacceptable!!”

You stared at her in disbelief. It took a moment for her words to sink in until you finally processed what she said. 

“WHAT?!”

You turned your head to stare at your sister in shock, but she only hid behind her mother in response. 

'What a coward.’

You were about to argue with your mother, but she glared at you, daring for you to say another word.

She proceeded to tell you that you were a disappointment and that you would be executed for your actions, which you considered completely ridiculous. 

You wanted to protest, but you knew she wouldn’t believe you anyway. You also didn’t have any allies, so what was the point of arguing any further?

You backed down and stared at your knees, tears threatening to spill. 

Addalyn noticed your expression and finally decided to say something to ‘ease’ the situation. 

“Uhm, mother, don’t you think that’s a bit too harsh? How about we have her work in the castle and extend her execution?”

Your mother turned her head to look at Addalyn, her expression immediately turning soft and into a look of love and care, The look that she used to give you…

"Oh Lynn, you are way too kind. Since you are the future queen, I will allow it.”

Your sister smiled happily and gave you a small smile, but you didn’t care. She could go fuck herself for all you care. You were going to die in a few months! You were only 16! You couldn’t die yet, especially since you planned on getting married in the future!. 

After discussing the work you would be doing in the castle, your mother got up and left your room, but not without giving you a small glare before leaving. You felt betrayed, especially since you considered your mother as your best friend at some point. 

But this was reality and you would be facing it head on. You wanted revenge, but you realized you couldn’t do that without some sort of help. Especially since you were always surrounded by guards whenever you did your work, but you knew you weren’t going to get help anytime soon. Everyone in the castle despised you. Whenever you would walk by the maids or butlers in the halls, they would all give you looks or sneak in a snarky comment. 

It irritated you, knowing that you couldn’t do anything back because if you did, the queen would be notified about it immediately. 

So here you were, being yelled at once again by the head maid because you didn’t do something right. You dropped a plate by accident and were getting severely punished by it. Whenever you didn’t do something right, you won’t be fed anything until you are forgiven, which is usually about three days later. You were already expecting to not get fed anything for a while since the head maid seemed really upset and didn’t want to let the cheap plate go. 

You wanted to yell back at her, it seemed so tempting, but you controlled yourself in the end and faced the punishment with a scowl on your face. 

It had only been two weeks since you were forced to work in the palace, and you got stuck with the head maid, who was considered the cruelest employee in the castle.

You remembered when you were still a princess, she treated you with the utmost respect, but now look at you. She treated you like you were the commoner and she was the royal instead. 

Whenever your sister would come ‘check’ up on you, the head maid would be so kind to her that it would shock anyone to know that the same person who treats her co-workers like crap is also so nice to everyone else. Truly fake indeed. 

You would quietly laugh to yourself whenever the head maid would panic when she got news about the princess coming to visit. You knew that if the princess was still a mere commoner, she would get treated just like everyone else.

“How have you been Y/n?” 

Your sister smiled at you, but that only seemed to piss you off. Especially since she was wearing your favorite gem like a badge of honor.

That gem was a gift from your dead uncle, but your mother decided it would be irrelevant for you to keep it, so she took it and gave it to Addalyn instead. 

“I’ve been fine.” 

With a cold expression, you turned around and continued washing dishes. You weren’t going to be charmed like everyone else by her ‘kindness.’ 

“Aww, don’t be like that. I just wanted to see my older sister.”

“We are NOT related.”

This made her jump a bit in place.

"...Sorry.”

Your ‘sister’ looked down at her feet with a sorrowful look. You honestly didn’t care, nor did you feel bad for her. The other maids in the room glared at you, disgusted with your rudeness and as if they were warning you to say something else to trigger the future queen. 

“I just wanted to talk to you..”

You stared at her with disgust, scrunching up your nose. 

“Then what do you want??”

The princess stared down at the floor playing with her fingers. It was as if she was trying to make you wait.

“..I wanted to tell you that you will be getting another co-worker.”

“And? What does that have to do with me?”

You gave her a small glare. She seemed unbothered by the small gesture.

“Well, he is a fugitive. He broke many rules in his previous village, but instead of executing him, I decided he could work here with you. Especially since you both are in similar situations.”

She sent you another charming smile your way, but this time her smile seemed almost mischievous, as if she was planning something. She wasn’t giving you all of the details about this person and you knew it. 

Not giving you a chance to speak, she started again. 

“He will be your working partner for the time being and will be arriving tomorrow. Anyway, I hope you two can get along!”

And with that she walked away, leaving you to your own thoughts. 

You thought about what she said the rest of the day. You knew this person was going to be unpleasant to work with, especially since they were a fugitive, but you couldn’t help but feel a small sign of luck.

Even when work was over, you thought about this unknown person in your cell. 

You were currently lying in bed thinking about the possible events that could occur in the morning. You stared at the old ceiling lost in your own thoughts. 

‘A fugitive, huh?’

You were slightly afraid, but also a bit excited. Why? You honestly didn’t know.

After thinking for what felt like hours, you finally came up with a conclusion. 

‘He could become my assistant! No, my first ally!’

Maybe if you could befriend this unknown fugitive, then maybe you could finally get your revenge! Yes, that is what you will do. You devised many plans that you could use if things didn’t go well. You thought about all of the people that turned you back against you. Your mother, father, ex-fiance, your maids and butlers, and most importantly, your idiot sister. 

You giggled to yourself with a glint of evil in your eyes. 

You will just have to meet the best moment to strike.

---

Read chapters 2 and 3 here! : "тнє νιℓℓαιηєѕѕ ƒιηαℓℓу gєтѕ яєνєηgє|Yandere!male x Reader" by YourLocalKazuhaSimp on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/334955460?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=YourLocalKazuhaSimp&wp_originator=Ql8AStOTCCluauvgHPcWpkybj2cTY%2BZNCcyk0fD8zmA12jRlfvVFPLwImVbZDsD67GO90rDI%2FBYi3qS38znVpn8ymVf3NBA6EXy3Y01Tbg559jqwKse%2Fr7EZS%2Bdv2DMt

https://www.wattpad.com/story/334955460?utm_source=android&utm_medium=com.tumblr&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=YourLocalKazuhaSimp&wp_originator=Ql8AStOTCCluauvgHPcWpkybj2cTY%2BZNCcyk0fD8zmA12jRlfvVFPLwImVbZDsD67GO90rDI%2FBYi3qS38znVpn8ymVf3NBA6EXy3Y01Tbg559jqwKse%2Fr7EZS%2Bdv2DMt

[gwidien]

@gaskills asked: ❛   hunger .   give  my  muse  something  to  eat  /  drink . 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃  &  𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐅𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  sentence starters (accepting)

The end of the year winds down, and he hadn't intended to meet her here.

Mary-Beth, several years older since he last saw her at Beaver Hollow, now an up-and-coming author, Leslie Dupont. She must have been invited here. Her newfound name may have gotten her foot through the door. Or perhaps she snuck her way in. Either way, in the heart of the city and inside a glinting, bustling venue, everyone dressed to the nines, they've reunited. 

She finds her way back to him with flutes of champagne, pale gold and sparkling. Trelawny thanks her, taking it by the stem. "This will hit the spot," he says, a punch to it. For a moment, he takes her in. "Let - me - look at you."

He hadn't had the time to before. Not really. There'd been too much in the way of it. The music and the how are yous. The surprise of seeing each other again. Light eyes and a red dress, the same but different.

"Aren't you the belle of the ball." He said it with gusto. Because she is. Because he flatters. He saunters on. "Making a name for yourself. From modest abodes," he recounts, lifting his hand, "...to silver spoons." He gestures back down to her. Then, he brightens. "You wear it well."

Beneath strung-up rosy ribbons and shimmering chandeliers, the lights throw themselves into Mary-Beth's eyes. They dance in them like little lighthouses. Like merry-go-rounds. And when she smiles, the clusters of her freckles bunch together, and Trelawny is aware of the fondness he has for this moment. One reserved for unexpected reunions. From the long years apart.

Partygoers buzz, jam-packed together, ready for the countdown.

He raises his glass to hers, as puckish as ever. "To happier trails, Miss Gaskill."

[sirjuggles]

Worm Reading - Part 5, Arc 5 Hive

Back at it! Taking notes as I go this time, so expect more short reactions to individuals moments/sentences.

Ahhh a good ol’ Bad Guy Council Meeting! We get our first looks at a whole bunch of the other villains in this town. Interesting to see where the Undersiders fall on the power scale: clearly above lowlifes like Skidmark, but otherwise pretty low on the hierarchy. I’d assume our team could mayyyybe go toe-to-toe with Faultline’s crew but it depends on who gets the drop. Would definitely lose to Kaiser’s crew. Coil is very interesting, but I’d assume his hi-tech goons could overpower the Undersiders. Trickster and his team are interesting out-of-towners, but I’d assume if they’re surviving on the road they’re capable of taking care of themselves.

I do feel like I’ve seen the name Faultline crop up in Worm Fandom posts in the past, so I feel like this character may end up being important? I don’t remember in what capacity though. Curious to see what her powers are.

Ok, once again we see Brian being abusive towards Rachel. And I get that he thinks it’s justified. But just from the language he uses you can tell this is something he gets from his dad. I don’t like it. If the only way you can control someone is with violence, does that make it ok?

Hero names “Assault” and “Battery” ugh it’s such a terrible pun. I hate it and it’s perfect.

We haven’t seen Shadow Stalker in action yet but as Grue’s nemesis I am covertly half-rooting for her. I hope she’s cool, I hope she kicks ass.

Lol hell yeah punch Emma in the face! Nothing good will probably come of this but frankly it’s been a long time coming.

Aww good job Danny, your girl needed a hug. I think that’s about as well as he could have handled that.

Oooh ok we’re going into a parent meeting at school about the bullying issue. Predictions: Danny is going to try and stand up for Taylor. He might blow up in a full rage outburst, he’s been holding that in for a long time. I don’t think they’ll actually have any success within the system though, Emma and her dad and their posse are too secure to face consequences here. However, if this goes really bad, I can see Taylor tip past the point of using her powers, which would be a disaster but would be a huge leap forward for the story, forcing her powers into the open and causing all sorts of interesting consequences.

Wow ok that went almost exactly how I expected. I had some hope at the beginning that all the documentation and obvious severity of abuse would tip the scales, but of course not. So we have yet again postponed Taylor going supernova on her bullies with her powers. I am becoming more and more convinced that’s the only way this is going to end.

Ok, we’re in the middle of the team-up raid on the ABB warehouse. Oni Lee is absolutely terrifying, honestly I’m not sure how you pin down someone with that sort of powerset. Hopefully he tires out at some point, but even then I assume he would just escape. The ability to bring items/weapons with him as he teleports and duplicates is super powerful as well. EDIT OH THAT WORKS ON THE BUGS TOO.

Ok Warehouse Raid is still ongoing, but Taylor has just demonstrated to Coil, Faultline, and Trickster’s teams that she can step up and take leadership to salvage a bad situation. I think that will not go unnoticed.

The eyeballs thing is BRUTAL and we are hardcore supporting my previous point!

Great job in the fight, great job on the outcome, top marks all around!

Awww Rachel is making a friend and doesn’t know how to feel about it.

Ok yeah vindication #CutRachelSomeSlack

Interlude 5: Gregor the Snail - Ok, some interesting worldbuilding. I like basically everyone on Faultline’s crew, especially... no yeah pretty much all of them. This definitely seems like the kind of group who can both notice and appreciate how Taylor handled the Warehouse situation.

Most interesting development here is the introduction of a potential person/group creating new parahumans. I had a suspicion this topic would crop up. It is, frankly, very well-tread ground for modern superhero media. I suspect in this case the answer will be not nearly as simple as it first seems. There is almost guaranteed to be some sort of consequence or side effect for handing out powers.

[gray-morality]

Utsāha 2023.07.13

Fakhri had lived in Thavnair for eight decades, granted he left for a number of years before returning to this land he called home. While his roots were still way up in the mountains of the Skatay Range, remaining at one place for so long meant he could claim being of its people, as surely as one born on this island. And perhaps because he’d been an outsider once, he ended up developing a fierce protectiveness for this nation that had welcomed him. Thus when he met the Sahib Hikmat Shah upon the End of Days, subsequently joining Jijivisha and becoming its ‘man on the ground’, it cemented that idea that he was there to watch over the people of this land. Which is why their earlier encounter with a certain trio - one Au ri man and two Midlander women - at the docks of Yedlihmad left a sour taste in his mouth. They had been nothing of importance at first, just a bunch of stowaways, perhaps, freshly arrived in Thavnair and seemingly in search of work. The way this group had approached them, however, had been peculiar, to say the least. Claiming they had spied on them and had discovered Seda was in charge, while Fakhri was likely her hired muscle. This alone was laughable and made it clear their ‘research’ was nothing but empty words. A simple stroll to check on a recent shipment had turned into a farce as the group continued on, stating what they could do in exchange of coins, none of which appealed to Seda. Jijivisha was indeed not in need of enforcers, as it already had its own people proficient in combat, if ever needed. It was clear to both Fakhri and Seda that those three suspicious characters were trying to gain the upper hand by striking a deal on their own terms. And this wasn’t going to happen. Every inquisitive question was being turned around and, after over a bell of needless talking, it became obvious they’d never see eye to eye; Those people definitely were not here to help the citizens of Thavnair. And then the man of the group had the audacity… "Near as I can tell, they need to buck up. It's a pretty enough place and in a way reminds me of home..but the people are soft. Lucky they survived at all.”

Had Fakhri been the type to punch someone in the face on impulse, that Au ra would have lost a few teeth. This whole encounter would easily have been brushed away at the end of the day, had it not been for that one sentence. How dare he belittle the people of a land who had suffered, first in line, to the greatest ordeal this star had ever faced! The jungle had burned, villages were destroyed, the people had to face their loved ones as they were transformed into beasts! Yet, despite all of this… the citizens of Thavnair lived on. They endured, they persevered, showing a strength and resilience that humbled the man that Fakhri was. His mind went to those who had lost a mother or a father, a sister or a brother, a son or a daughter, or were the last one standing, having lost them all. And what of this woman, who had lost her children and grandchildren. She knew that, at the end of her life, so would her family line end with no one to carry her name into the future. Yet she decided to live, so she could help rebuild their nation. She was old, but still had her health, and so she could cook and mend clothes for those working from sunrise to sundown.

Thavnairians have a word for this resilience, this ‘energy’ and desire to live; Utsāha. It came from a place of spirituality, to rouse within oneself a sentiment of heroism, happiness and determination. Some would call it zeal or simply enthusiasm but that always felt overly reductive to this Viera. And perhaps the reason why this resonated so much with him was that Fakhri was, after all, a survivor. He never met any of his kin outside their jungle or mountain that had lived for as long as him. With a lifespan fivefold as most of the races on the star, it would be easy to imagine the pain and sadness one could accumulate over the years as friends and loved ones reached the end of their lives, leaving the Viera behind. And Fakhri had faced his fair share of hardships in his long life and lost many dear to him, enough to make anyone question why he was still standing. Maybe it was Utsāha, or something very similar, passed down from the beliefs of his tribe; to live, to pass on one’s knowledge and experience and to honor the spirits of nature and one’s ancestors.

When Fakhri would breathe his last it won’t be by his own hand, but merely because his time has come. Until then, he would live - and love - persevering in the face of adversity; Just like Thavnair and its people.

[fangtastic-vampyra]

Reaaally hate how it seems I have to be "watched" by people from the system the whole rest of my life.

It's MKULTRA MILBAS targeted individual stuff. You know the people that they go after?

Those that would stick their neck out for somebody else.

You know. Yes. So. I have to do a Stinkin' re-assessment sometime next week, ish, Im like "Im in for a life sentence. Schizophrenia gets worse when you get older. Very few people "get better" [or whatever they think] whatever that means, not understanding why I keep having to do a reassessment." I mean, I really hate Drs, of all kinds, I can take care of my Fecking self, and I want them to Bugger off in general. It was creepy asf. What is so hard to understand, stop thinking shit in my head, voices, v2k, and then, making me feel like shit with uh military, weapons? thennn tormenting me in my sleep. LIEK IF I FELT BETTER, I WOULD BE BETTER. a poisoned, drug, prescription or otherwise, filled body, with emo. pain, and trauma, and not enough healthy meals, and shit, prolly aint going to be around very long. plus parasites and what have you. I CAN BE A SCREET DR. JKKK. Just a herbal supplement recommender. :] {been studying those since I was 16, got a lot of time behind me on that particular interest, yah, thats why got me all into trouble, rebelling against norms, well if Punch Line really is my ..mm.. hear voices saying dont go out with her buut...what could i get out of it? it will probably, if i dont try, end up like harley and me, im fubar.. F.U.B.A.R.} And that? Was Mr and Mrs Smith.

And she mentions the Govt program medicaid enforces it every 6 months. I'm like nooooo. Even though I know it's fake, and thats fake, I have too much rage, to not be on meds, but I don't think they're quite ready to let me only be on one anti-"psychotic" umm Vraylar and Seroquel, are my two, and we lol we -- are doing great.

Yes Im a plural, also. DID... MPD.

Anyway-- I think I "actually am" schizophrenic.. Not just a Fake illness.. But Idk maybe it's just damage from previous incarnations. Some lady read my palms and said I was reincarnated. Neat.

Meanwhile, I've gotten into some sick sort of reminescensing/revenge thing. Prolly the first male "plague rat" -- Waheyyy. Emilie Autumn fan. They want them young, to study, and observe, if ya know what Im saying. AND. They dont like to let folks go. Once they have ya. Since these bastards, think they are some type of Woman Inspector. I dont want Pig Ass Hybrids for my kids anyway, fuck off. I am no longer young, and a Cantankerous ass bitch, and One day, THOSE Fuckers, are going to compensate me, for all my TBC, and everything else. TBC/Thought Broad Casting.

WTF..!! THEY CRASHED MY BROWSER, I HAD TYPED LIKE FIVE MORE PARA. Yes. they got access to my puter. UGH!!

WELL HOW ABOUT THAT.. AND....GAWDDAMN.

Note to self/other authors, authoresses: WRITE IN WORDPAD.

Or something similiar.. There use to be one that had a black background. White makes me feel like I got a lined loose leaf paper with no.2 in a uncomfy plastic chair. YES. UNCREATIVE. Like. In a fecking institution.

Uhm what had I said... Mum also said people get sacrificed to the devil a bunch more than most think. She's kinda uh weird. yes. Used to be into goth, and horror, and metal, when she was Younger, and witch craft, lord knows umm, now shes just, Blonde hair, blue eyes. And everything else, normal, she wants to be Barbie. IDEK, this Family wsa NOT ready. She was just another Handler, my dumb ass thought fighting, was the answer. I want to SUE the pants off MKULTRA ( and associations/etc, off them.) If you know what I mean. Abuse. Trauma. Mum says it happens to boys just as much. OHHH WELL. IDK about that. Shes just another brainwashed handler. Tho.. pretty insightful if you can actually get her to say anything. Lol we're munsters, I got out the sun synchronization, or something ugh.

Im just nursing a wound. Not caring about anything else, but trying to stop the pain. I dont uh see any point in living this way? My head is aching like someones been smashing rocks against my skull for the past hour. "Okay ill stop" Like they harass and make fun of me as AFAB UNDESIRABLE. Fat and whatever, though they did it um. And call me a he/she, they did that to. And I just uh, want to punch something in the face that something is God, Idk, until it stops moving. yes. then i can be god. >.> IDK, like whyyyy me.

Why all of this. WHYYYY.

He says we are all equal, he says his thoughts are higher than our thoughts, he says the enemies are not flesh and blood, but spirits. Yes. SAYS humans are more close to him than angels, says this and that, that we have power as humans over the animals, and the demons. idk. somethings not adding up. i think he's a f*cking rapist. celebrating the black majick curses he places onto children. a pervert, a predator. yes. i try. to calculate what is going on here, i hadnt known what i know now, i rebuke the thoughts i had as a child, the gnashing of teeth, in hell, and that, i dont want to end up there. AND? I think he's a bully. There's always been a man.. sigh.. tiresome.. voice over my shoulder harassing me.

WHAT I WANT: To be the Court leader of the Neutral guise. Or herd or pack or whatever. *LOL.*

What should my name be? Circe.

brendan used the word "blessed" in association with the amount of food we have. Im used to high quality meals, this is like, yuck, sort of. I wish I could remember shit, I want to give up. There are no plans, Im jsut saying "i want to" im tired of hurting, im tired of suffering, tired of aloneness, tired of rejection, maybe showing vulnerability will help? Why are men attacking me? Idk, i think they are scared of me.. Tbh. I will get my one desire, to be my true self. And theres nothing they can do about it." If " they try to mess it up, I have my ways.

{Wow, have the inkling of intimacy / u might be a d00d, on ur page, I MEAN, AMAB, and got scammers messaging me "hot photos" and shit lololol. Im too lazy to remove. if they're not a native English speaker, some of the messages are pretty funny...}

[fountainpenguin]

(Ask box meme ✨🖋️📜)

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

Thanks for the Ask! [Current Ask game]

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

Definitely "You'll Never Know" (the one about Foop and Anti-Wanda struggling with politics for 77,777 years after Anti-Cosmo's mysterious disappearance). I loved getting into Foop's head for this one. It's one of my favorites and I've reread it a bunch of times.

This is the piece I'd love to show outsiders to demonstrate what I write and how fanfiction is so much more than just quick fluff or smut [Not that those things are wrong, this is just a piece that doesn't fit in those categories]. When I actually tried reading it as though I were an outsider, however, I realized how many little bits and pieces of it require you to have decent knowledge of the series and worldbuilding :'D

But it's still one I'd love to share with outsiders who were willing to play along. It's just haunting and beautiful to me. It's very raw and painful for Foop and he's the most unreliable narrator in the world, and I love him.

This is the style that I love 'fics in: introspective, long, a bit meandering in places, that nice blend of creation and destruction, growth and failure, angst and pain and fluff and sweetness and agony and childhood and emotions and logic... and then it just whips you across the forehead at the end like "... Oh. OH!!"

Definitely a huge personal favorite. I also love "All I Ever Wanted" for similar reasons, because it's just... /gestures at that painful conversation when Anti-Marigold tells him he could never understand what she's going through and Poof just... yeah. And then... you know........ YEAH.

I have several fics of mine I cycle between to read when I'm out on trips or waiting in long lines. On that list, we definitely have:

"Watch and Learn"

"Temptation"

"You'll Never Know"

"All I Ever Wanted"

"This Is a Box"

"Whatever"

"Shadow"

"Think Positive"

"Trying Too Hard"

"Minion"

"Repeat"

"Yellow Flower Number 9"

"Health Bars"

"Golden Rules"

"Turning Scarlett"

"Six Shades of Gray"

"Precious"

"How to Get Ahead In Navigating"

"AlgoRhythm"

Long? Tension and drama? Little gut punches here and there? They all pass the Vibe Check and I love them.

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32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I've heard very good things about my Sanderson! He seems to consistently be the fan favorite, especially in Origin of the Pixies, and I love that for him <3 I'm very glad because when I look at him and then look at his canon portrayal, I sometimes feel like I've gone too far with him... but people seem to like him a lot and I do too. He's stubbornly one of my favorites.

H.P., Poof, and Foop are very easy for me to write and I don't struggle with their inner or external dialogue at all. I was also surprised that Finley turned out to be one of the easiest characters I've ever written- you'll get to see a snippet of his POV in the upcoming 130 Prompt "I Just Live Here." I'm thrilled with how it came out... You can definitely see the H.P. showing through him. Little miscreant clone...

H.P. has this very dry and choppy way of speaking. He delivers these crisp, demanding sentences with a habit of deflecting blame and responsibility. He's cool, calculating, and honest... in a lying sort of way, because he's lying to himself all the time. Anti-Cosmo has this much more meandering way of speaking, edged by paranoia and second guessing himself.

Foop is a mix of both of them. He'll ramble on and throw in a lot of big words, then he'll veer sideways and throw in some super short sentences (usually childish ones like "Oh, please!" or "Super lame!" with exclamation points). Poof is a laid-back suburban kid. He gets defensive sometimes, but he's pretty chill. He's big on "Hey" and "Okay" and compromise.

(My secret hot take is that Foop and Cosmo actually have the same High Intelligence, High Charisma, and Low Wisdom scores but Foop's lived his life getting praised as a genius and exposed to literature and tutoring from his father and therapy, so he perceives himself as a genius, but Cosmo gets deprived of books and told he's a moron [see also, his deepest darkest secret being that he's an author, implying he doesn't like letting on that he actually CAN do things on his own and be successful], so he perceives himself as a moron even though they're... they're the same guy. Cosmo's more quippy while Foop is long-winded, but they're so much alike.)

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45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

Contemporary fantasy / magical realism. I like my magic very grounded and I like people to do regular things. Go on adventures? Are you nuts?? We've got dinner to cook and a family to raise, and HECK, my friend the prince is coming over soon!

My vibe is office politics / suburban politics / small town drama, but there's magic involved and fighting with magic is legal so it's, like... scary. But in a very soft, controlled, and localized way. You can still get your life flipped upside-down and lose everything you love, but at least you're not on a cross-country quest!

[Current Ask game]