#a bunch of bears trolling humanity

[j-restlessgeek]

@rockingpeeble 👀👀👀 seeing it and loving it

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[mossypidder]

Bet you didn’t think you’d learn what human and 100% troll Fass looked like today, did you? Or what his parents looked like. Or what he looked like as a human kid. Nope, betchu didn’t.

But anyway. A bunch of miscellaneous troll/changeling information just because. Also trolls are born as beans like bears. Just so everyone knows. Female trolls are called sows and males are called bores. That’s all.

[xxactlyperfect]

im the person who sent the ask about trans people being kind

i was talking more about terfs as a whole but since most terfs seem to use their platform to talk mostly about trans people, do they really think we are feminsms biggest problem? why do you want to talk about trans people so much? my guess is because conservatives push trans exclusionary feminism, and at its core a lot of people probably think trans people are gross. but im not a terf so i don't know it just is weird that we are the focus

Okay, I will bite on the hook and provide you with a genuine answer

"Terfs seem to use their platform to talk mostly about trans people." Some may, some may not. There are multiple areas you can focus on within radical feminism. Just like anything concerning politics, you can pick and choose what area you're the most interested in. I don't vibe with the radical feminists who only manage to speak about trans ideology, and I even have a post where I literally say I am tired of the TERF vs TRA debate; we have bigger issues.

And yes, there are bigger issues, but at the same time, if you ignore something that is on the rise it'll just grow. For example the recent rise of pro-ana content promoted towards women, or the rise of neo-nazis in media (fElon Musk, for example). We could just sweep it under the rug and focus on the actual wars going on right now, but humans have the ability to multitask. Why put energy into only one topic when you can focus on multiple? A big portion of my blog is about trans ideology, yes, but there is also a bunch about women of color, women in Afghanistan, the beauty industry, the porn industry, males being the default human, and more. The case is very often just TRAs coming in to troll or send hate, poking the bear so there's more anti-trans ideology content spilling out.

So the conclusion is no, trans ideology is not the biggest problem. The biggest problem will forever be the patriarchy and misogyny, but trans ideology is directly linked to those two. So, like... 🤷‍♀️

On the topic of conservatives, literally no actual conservative promotes radical feminism. Radical feminism is a leftist ideology, and I myself am on the libleft spectrum. There are no correlation between radical feminism and conservatives, and I dare you to challenge this belief because I can debunk it easily.

"A lot of people think trans people are gross." Okay, first of all, y'all seem to not understand what TERFs are even about. We are gender-abolitionists. I'm against the ideology, not the people falling for it. I'm an atheist and against religion, it doesn't mean I want to hang the Christians and what-not. Trans people just have very flawed behaviors coming from their flawed ideology.

[wylldebee]

Ye Olde Magick AU Part II: More Houses

As always: thank @books-n-guns for the existence of this AU :D Basic lore (and the first bunch of houses): X Without further ado, have some more houses~!

The Arryns: Wings, wings, wings. They have the most beautiful feathered wings you'll ever lay eyes on and back muscles because damn their wings are heavy. They need special oils and soaps, and are almost constantly grooming. And they have echo voices (X). If the song Hallelujah existed in ASOIAF they would own it. The skies of the Vale always has at least one Arryn or one of it's cadet houses The Boltons: Like books-n-guns says, they're vampires with an interest in blood magic. Legend says the Boltons actually used to be able to shed their whole skin—and I mean their whole skin—until one Bolton got into blood magic and suddenly vampires. The northern weather is perfect for them. The Mormonts: Werebears! Werebears! Werebears! You think Bear Island was named after the bears that inhabit it? No. It's the werebears of House Mormont. Were as wild looking as the Starks of old just bear themed; claws and teeth and fangs and thicker hair, and were generally bigger and stronger. Now they're just strong. Lady Maege Mormont can still crush a man's head between her hands.

The Tarths: Giants. For some reason the magic has been absent from their bloodline for a few years until Brienne was born. While not as big as her ancestors, Brienne is still big and has great strength. She didn't defeat those who had a bet on her maidenhead so much as she sent them flying. People held score cards. Loras was sweating in his armour and allowed Brienne to grapple him instead shut up you drunken archer of my family I allowed it because I didn't want to fucking die. The Hightowers: Flame hair. Think Hades from Hercules. It's safe to the touch and doesn't set anything on fire...unless the Hightower it's attached to wants it. Just like when they turn the beacon's fire green to call their bannerman, a Hightower's hair can turn green at will. Please imagine Alicent entering the room not only in her green dress, but with flickering green flame hair. The Baelishs: Fiery eyes. Look up Lucifer Morningstar red eyes and you get what I'm imagining, though the pupils are a glowing flame coloured. It's hard to look like a friendly and powerless man to be underestimated by all the high lords with these eyes, but Littlefinger manages it. The Greyjoys: Krackens. Honestly I'm just imagining a kracken version of Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean. But they can only get that form when wet with seawater. Can remain in that form so long as a part of their body is still in seawater. Rare times does it skip a member of the family, so sorry Aeron. The Karstarks: Since they are a cadet branch of the Starks they also benefitted from the same wolf magic—however instead of fangs they've got the claws. Sharp and deadly, the Karstarks are best at being frontline fighters where even if they lose their swords they can still maul a bitch. No, seriously, they will maul someone with their claws. They have mauled people with their claws. Rumors say they use grindstones to keep their claws nice and sharp. The Freys: Trolls, specifically bridge trolls. And not the dependable kind that they used to be back in the day. Still having that weasel look to them, they have granite skin that makes normal swords break against them and above-human strength, thus still making them the most powerful bannermen of House Tully. The Reeds: Lizard-lions or frogs. Actually, nobody really knows what the Reeds are—not now or back in the past. Not even Ned knows what Howland Reed looked like because he kept his entire person covered from the top of his head to his hands to his feet. The only thing he saw was a super long tongue jab hard at Arthur's neck that killed the knight and save him. And that's what I've got for now. Again ideas of other houses are welcome!

[davekat-sucks]

I have my troll headcanons, and this is gonna be a long one, I’m doing all the Beta trolls. Also note these headcanons assume all characters survive and exist on Earth C.

Aradia Megido is trying to puck back up on the hobbies she abandoned when she became a ghost, and with her luck Earth has a vast archeological expanse of history and paleontology that Alternia destroyed to legitimize the Condesce’s rule, and to erase any mention of organized rebellion against the empire. Of course, history still existed, but is almost exclusively known by highbloods who have the class and age to study writing, own journals to write on, live long enough to document dozens of sweeps of their life history, and have less of a chance to get culled by drones controlling population growth. Reassembling Alternian history on Earth C is like finishing a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces hiding across the empty void of space. Aradia likes to search for fossils, but her interest in the dead and telekinetic connection with ghosts make her a professional paranormal investigator as well, she once snuck into a haunted house being filmed for a ghost hunters TV show, and was caught on camera. Her ripped clothes and ruffled hair from attempting a breaking and entering made her look like an undead troll.

Tavros thinks Pokémon is too simple and amateur for him, when in reality he’s mad he still loses in competitive matches in both card game and online game. He still likes the Pokémon anime! A boy who never grows up going on adventures against an organized crime syndicate trying to steal a powerful ally and nonverbal creature! Not to mention that the Ash character has friends to tag along on their perilous journey! When it comes to fighting with mythical magical monsters and complex bullshit with cards, Tavros has a soft spot for Yu-Gi-Oh, and Seto Kaiba reminds him of a troll that kept on meddling with him… and still does.

Sollux is possibly the best software technician on Earth C. He is an admin for a forum that discusses obscure desktop/master software. He obviously uses Linux and Gnu, and codes .ath viruses as practice for whitehat hackers to disarm. His Earth C hive is entirely themed by bifurcation. His curtains, his furniture, his goddamn toilet are themed by 2 colors. Karkat calls it ugly, Kanaya calls it creative. To cope with his psiionics and his loss of them, Sollux teamed up with Aradia, Karkat, and Feferi to code and design a walkie talkie that can talk to the recently deceased, this was also done so people could stop running specifically to him for predictions of armageddon.

Karkat is trying very hard to accustom himself to human culture, he has watched a lot of human film (mostly American, a few Fench and Soviet films and a bunch of Tokusatsu and Anime slop) to get why humans were like that, and if everyone was like Dave and Rose. He finds human film boring and generic, but continues to watch it anyway, to connect with the human way of life. He also follows John’s Youtube account… to leave hate comments, they don’t even attack John’s appearance or the points John makes about the film, it’s general allusions to how frustrated he gets watching John’s videos.

Nepeta has been banned from New York C’s central park zoo for scaring the bears at their enclosure and intimidating them into smashing the glass. Nepeta was allowed back in 2 years later when she promised she would not harm any animals because “it would be too easy to hunt them.” Nepeta is a professional huntress who is unique in that she doesn’t use firearms, she just catches the animal in her mouth and slices their neck if it’s big game like deer or wild boar. She meets her maximum bag capacity within a day. She is the scourge of human huntsmen and she is known as “the green lioness” to many.

Kanaya was able to pass on the duties of brooding cavern patrol once the first Jadebloods reached maturation after 9 sweeps. On Earth she was introduced to a new series of monsters and beasts after being accustomed to the animated corpses she’d hunt during the Alternian day and rainbow drinkers in her trashy teengrub erotica. Since she was always around Rose, a girlfriend and devout student of zoologically dubious, she became a cryptozoologist and eventually a bigfoot hunter. Her agility, strength, night vision, and rainbow drinker hearing made her perfect for hunting North America C’s most hidden animal. She would mostly stalk the rustling of leaves and moaning from the shadows of the forest to find it’s a human hiker or a bear, until she actually caught Bigfoot in an open Brush 30 miles West of Marquette C, Michigan C. Notably sightings were made days after Kanaya caught the creature, and after a week on news channels, talk shows, radio interviews, getting a nobel prize in biology and ecology, and getting a giant golden trophy called the “first big step” she now is treading westwards for possible other bigfoot sighted from California to Idaho. That is, when she can schedule it, she has a girlfriend she also wants to be there for. Of course, Rose has joined Kanaya on a few bigfoot searches to support her girlfriend.

Terezi IS the law. Professional trollcop and private investigator, she has her own TV show like that of Chris Hansen where she roleplays as different people, ranging from kids that pedophiles prey on to lone wolfs and depressed deadbeats that drug cartels search for to hire as peddlers and soldiers. Terezi’s strongest expertise is hunting down anti-troll hate groups, since she gets to be herself instead of roleplay as a human. She struggles the most catching anti-human troll groups and Neo-Condescites considering she has to fight against her own species, which have an easier time sniffing out if she’s faking her human archetype and some of them are super strong indigobloods.

Vriska haaaaaaaates how boring and fake human roleplaying games are. In FLARP you had real costumes, stat bats, real loot, month long continuous sessions, and dire consequences if you lose. To keep herself not bored she has become a practitioner of the extreme sport of rock climbing, since Vriska hated walking down and up all those stairs just to get to her lusus, and climbing a shear face would be more safe than slipping on those infernal steps! She also wanted one day for her lusus to watch her climb, as spidermom laud down in that pit of webs, too fat and loud to crawl up herself. Spidermom has been dead for sweeps now so Vriska still won. GET F8CKED FUSSYF8NGS!!!!!!!!

Equius was an unfortunate troll who got caught up in strange human subcultures, and that subculture was human hypermasculinity and “alpha” male mentality. He has a Youtube channel, Twitter, and Instagram dedicated to exercising routines, habits, and hobbies that make male trolls, humans, carapacians, and even denizens respected leaders in their community. Equius tried to co-opt My Little Pony as being masculine and sigma despite the protagonists being all colorful horses. Equius believes all of the protagonist ponies (the mane 6 as they’re called in fandom circles) each hold masculine traits that can correlate with the masculine archetypes in alpha men. Think how Twilight Sparkle exemplifies intelligence and planning, AppleJack has strength and stoicism, Rarity appreciates natural beauty and appearence, etc. Also they are horses, and Equius is frustrated that humans took the maned roarbeast (lions) and striped fangbeast (tigers) as the mascot of alpha males. Equius made his own personal gym in his hive because he was banned from all the gyms for excessive sweating and never cleaning up his station. He films fighting tutorials with his combat robots, but they all break in one punch, so Nepeta has to be invited for any successful demonstrations on how to demonstrate Equius’s fighting style and not break in one punch.

Gamzee is in a mental Asylum becaise of the whole murder thing and has only broken off from Lord English’s control for the first time in his life. He expresses himself by rhyming the GREGCLOUROIAN WICKED RHYTHMS for THE FROWNING MASSES to proselytize the NEW COMING OF THE DARKER CARNIVAL. After 5 sweeps in a straitjacket Gamzee was deemed sane and pacified, so he can finally start his real life. He immediately asked Tavros to start dueting some sick bars he wrote in the brig to bring forth the new prophesy of the evanjesters. Tavros agreed without hesitation. “Mike Club” and “Wild T” sell albums as the “UNHINGED PAGLIACCI TROUPE” and have gotten many a negative review as “the worst rappers in all paradox space” but in the end, built up a dedicated fanbase of clownfolk and followers of the true faith.

Eridan doesn’t go out much, if at all. He plays a lot of video games, grand strategy, roleplaying games, a few puzzle games. He feels mixed about First Person Shooters and asks for a good story in an FPS campaign. He sees himself as honorablenand only shoots with a reason, like how he killed lusii to feed G’bolg’lyb and stop the vast glub. He doesn’t want to shoot people because some authority tells him to! Honest! Ask Sollux and he’ll agree Eridan shot in self defense! And Sollux is still alive and happier that he doesn’t hear the boices ofbthe dead doesn’t he?! Maybe Sollux should THANK HIM FOR BEING CONSIDERATE. Sorry what was I talking about? Eridan does not regret a lot of things, but he will still talk about them when you bring them up to insist he does not regret anything, nope, he’s fine. He does hang around with the people, or rather, person he tolerates. Karkat. Everyone else are lowbloods that don’t like him because he’s better than them so they insult him and say he smells bad when that’s the natural smell of the ocean and they don’t understand how important he is, or Feferi who toyed with his emotions and left him for some bipolar mustardblood and avoided him after ALL HE DUD FOR HER AND WAS SO NICE TO HER AND SHE DIDN’T RECIPROCATE THOSE FEELINGS wait what was I talking about? Eridan insists he does not need help. He’s fine. He’s fine fine fine fine fin.

Feferi loves Spongebob Squarepants, it’s a match made in heaven, but she’s not obsessed with it. She still went far enough to paint her recuperacoon blue with the colorful flowers that dotted the oceans of Bikini Bottom. She is an advocate for saving all the coral reefs and has sued many companies with her nonprofit organization and vast personal wealth for spillover of hazardous chemicals into protected waters. Considering how often CrockerCorp gets into these environmentalist lawsuits, Feferi gets under Jane’s nerves. A lot.

Final thoughts. Eridan, Karkat, Nepeta, Vriska, Tavros, and Terezi (sometimes Sollux but he’s busy most of the time) all run a discord for roleplaying and video games. Eridan Karkat and Tavros like to play the Elder Scrolls series, Sollux likes to play the Fallout series, Vriska, Nepeta, and Terezi like both. Sollux tried to get Eridan to play Fallout: New Vegas once, but Eridan got bored after a few hours and thought the morality system was too simple. Between the organized disciplined and stable Caesar’s Legion or the corrupt incompetent bureaucrats of the New California Republic, or the selfish authoritarian Mr. House, or you thrusting the wasteland into chaos as you throw all 3 of the remaining lighthouses of civilization into collapse. Sollux has a let’s play channel but the only uploads on it are Nepeta’s playthrough of Postal 2 she shared on the discord server.

Karkat does a lot of human movie watchparties with his old friends to keep his trollian friends close enough that they don’t kill each other or wander off on this new weird alien world, and to his surprise they like some of the human films even though they are bottom of the barrel compared to peak alternian film. Each of the trolls favorite films are:

Aradia: Carrie (1976)

Tavros: Pokémon the First Movie (2000)

Sollux: The Matrix (1999)

Karkat: Con Air (1996)

Nepeta: The Lion King (1994)

Kanaya Maryam: Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

Terezi: Trolls (2016)

Vriska: Pirates of the Caribbean (2005)

Equius: Spirit (2003) and Fight Club (1999)

Gamzee: Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

Eridan: Waterloo (1970)

Feferi: Atlantis the Lost Empire (2001)

Final fact: since films from the beta kids library still had a chronological year, the release year of films gets confusing, so to make up for it, films on Earth C are released on a separate calendar, the year on the Earth C Planetary Film Board is equal to current year (number of years after the original kids touched down on Earth C) plus 2009. Old Alternian films are hard to chronologically measure since they were made billions of years before April 2009.

This is a long one!

These are all amazing!

[crossovergeek2005]

Finished up a parody clip!

So I finished up a clip for a potential crossover parody I'll probably end up writing later on Ao3 or Wattpad or some place.

Essentially, it's a clip from a crossover parody of Frozen (not my favorite Disney animated film, but still worthy of parodies somehow), but more specifically, a parody of the sleigh ride scene.

The two characters involved in the clip are Denahi (Brother Bear) (Denahi's playing Anna in the parody) and John Silver (Treasure Planet) (Silver's playing Kristoff in the parody) (My top two favorite Disney Experimental Era "antagonists"! In a pairing! What do you know? Sounds whack, but hey, they fit the vibes here, so why the heck not?)

Here's the clip (hopefully, it shows up for y'all):

Haven't posted it on YT yet, as you can tell.

But if I do, here's the thumbnail I'll use (Titleless for now, but will add a title if I end up posting this to YT):

(Yes, I edited this on MS Paint. Don't ask XD)

Also, this will be an AU of Brother Bear as well! (And it'll take place several months after the events of Treasure Planet!)

Here's the cast so far:

Denahi (Brother Bear) as Anna

Kenai (Brother Bear) as Elsa

Either an OC or Atka (Brother Bear 2) as Hans

John Silver (Treasure Planet) as Kristoff

Morph (Treasure Planet) as Sven

I don't have anyone else yet, and also, I'm debating whether to put an actual character as Olaf, or whether to double cast Morph as both Sven and a sorta-Olaf. I'll figure it out as I go along with this, though!

Here's the idea for the parody:

-Denahi is 21 in the parody; Kenai remains the good ol' age of 16, though! (also, Sitka is 24 in the parody)

-Most of the events of Brother Bear leading up to Kenai's transformation remain the same

-The difference? Since Denahi met his love interest, he spends some time after Kenai's ceremony with that person, so he doesn't notice the basket wasn't tied up and got stolen until it's too late (so the bear doesn't get killed this time (and neither does Sitka, thank goodness!))

-Rather, Kenai and Denahi argue due to the fact that the latter got engaged to someone he just met, and Sitka tries to break up the argument, but to no avail (as in Kenai's ice powers go out of control before anything could cool down (no pun intended))

-Kenai doesn't just run away due to his powers going out of control; He also discovered the bear stole the basket, and decided to go after it

-Kenai DOES transform into a bear, but he can also shapeshift from bear to human if he wants (though he stays as a bear a bunch of the time, only turning into a human when needed (like in the scene where Denahi finally finds him)

-Because John Silver is involved, Denahi obviously doesn't go after Kenai alone, nor does he try and hunt his bear self down

-Speaking of Silver, he initially went to Alaska to hide from the Royal Navy, but he was quickly taken in by a group of...something (No idea who should be the Trolls yet) as a sort of refugee, and he's allowed to hide with them in case the Navy does go to the specific location

-How did Morph join Silver here? Let's just say he figured out where Silver went and somehow managed to join him on Earth (maybe Jim dropped him off or something and promised to come back for him later)

-Since this implies the events of BB happen in the far future instead of the past in this parody, it also implies a small part of humanity decided to go back to more prehistoric methods of living to avoid whatever caused most of humanity to evacuate Earth (in the parody)

I'll add more notes as I go about this!

Will I include the songs of Frozen in the parody? Probably not.

But if I do write this parody, I'll let you guys know and I'll post the link here on Tumblr! :D

[rraaaarrl]

Pick Your Faves Meme

I got tagged by @turtlesocksv2 for this meme.:Pick my 5 faves and put them in a poll to let you decide who is the most fave who has never done anything in their lives ever, they did nothing! wrong! your honor! There are quite a lot, so I narrowed it down to a mix of the classics and more recent I guess. It was a tough choice.

Propaganda Time

Doctor Doom

tbh I feel like I shouldn’t even have to explain Doom at this point, but! Not everyone has had the opportunity to bask in his greatness! Behold: the truly self-made man! Tragic beginnings! Driven by revenge and the desire (however misplaced) to save the world, nay - the universe! Trolled with electronic gadgets and finally toppled the reign of a bunch of racist, classist noblemen in Latveria! Will never, ever admit how deep his obsession with that infernal Richards and his precious family runs! His weakness is also his strength! A very talented musician and chef! Wears cool armor! Was once a god - and found it beneath him. 

Mothra

She is the beginning and the end! She is the earth and the cosmos! She is basically immortal because she just asexually reproduces herself again and again at the end of her life cycle! So does that mean her son Mothra Leo is also herself? Yes! If you kidnap the ones she cares about, god help you, you will be blown away in a wing-spawned hurricane or worse! She will drag Godzilla's ass (literally) home! How can she be evil when she is just a force of nature! She believes the earth belongs to everyone!

Seven of Nine

She is stunning yet off-putting (affectionate)! Smart and filled with cybernetic implants, she is clearly better than you. And yet basic human interactions confound her (can u blame her tho). Rose up from her trauma and PTSD like a mechanical phoenix from the ashes. Thinks flirting is silly and a waste of time (true!) and prefers getting right to the point! Commiserates with Tuvok on the illogicalness of it all as they exchange dry witticisms!

Big Barda

A symbol of hope and optimism but also strength! Endured a crapsack universe and escaped with love! Taller than you! Wears cool armor! Also has to adjust to living in the suburbs at some point! (Now for some reason I want her and Seven to compare notes on what weirdos earth people are)! Can most definitely kick your ass but would much rather give you a bear hug, I suspect.

Armand

tbh when I read the books as a kid, I focused primarily on just how pompous Lestat was, but now! Here he is. In his gaslighting glory! Straight out of a historical painting and plotting his way into your heart and veins! Although if the show goes the same way as the book…you are expecting me to forgive a lot, you little shit! Don’t look at me like that! With those eyes! Fuck off!!!

tagging @imperiuswrecked @the-wanlorn @brw @handsomejackshairplugs @doctordoombignaturals but whoever can join in idc! the more the merrier!

[devoted-horror]

Hello, i really like how you write and it feels pretty accurate to the lore (maybe idk i forgot) anyways, i heard fnaf and dbd are collabing in summer 2025 idk if bhvr trolling but it'll be cool if the missing kids become the survivors or killers. I wonder what the killers actually think about kids being in the Entity's realm. And probably William afton or springtrap is just there and just brags how killed the kids and uses them for a bunch of experiments. I wonder how some of the killers react (put any killers that would probably be like 'wtf is this guy saying' and felt pity for the kids, some humanity ig)

tbh i'm on the side of people who think that it'll probably just be a cosmetic collab, personally. i also don't really think bhvr would put actual children in their game, neither as a survivor or killer tbh. if there were an actual chapter to come out of this collab, i would probably guess it would probably be movie related?? so springtrap, mike and vanessa, most likely, but idk i've only been playing the game since december last year so i'm still Very new. though it would be very funny to load into a game and be hunted down by an animatronic of a bear possessed by a child. and sad. very sad.

but. the idea of a child ending up in the fog has always been on my mind so. let's say these kids did get dragged into the fog. dare i say... killers and survivors join forces and boycott the entity. i don't think any of these guys would be chill with kids just... hangin around a place like this.

god, and imagine anna finding out that william killed them bro.... it's on sight. old british guy will not escape unscathed, i fear.

maybe it's because i'm against child murder, personally, but i don't think any of the killers would be chill with afton. obviously, i don't think the non-human killers such as singularity, unknown, nemesis, etc etc would necessarily care much, but if william actively goes around and brags about how he took away their lives and whatnot, then yeah. my dude is gonna have no friends in the fog.

and i think it's safe to say that not a single survivor would be chill with william afton at all. not even because he's a killer meant to torment them endlessly, it's literally the child murder that they all hate. if they could, i think they'd all gang up on him. but alas.

also i hate to say this but one time i read a fic where a kid did end up in the realm and the entity adopted her so now i just have this image in my head of the entity having a 'realm's no.1 mother' mug and showing off her kid to the killers and survivors with pride.

so if the kids did end up in the fog, i just picture the entity adopting them, i fear.

this does make me wonder what william's ability and perks would be if he were put in the game, tbh.

but thank you for the kind words!! i'm still fairly new to the game, w only like... roughly 700 hours i think, but i really love it and the characters and i can talk about it for. a hot second, obviously. i'm committing character lore into memory, and i try to have that reflect in my writing as best as i can so!!

fhdjksfghd yeah anyways. i will stop yapping.

[gw-arena]

WEBCOMIC WAR OF WOE: NIGHT 2 AND DAY 3

Despite their earlier clash, Tina and Gregory put their differences aside. Persephoni destroys all the dead bodies Bear has gathered, Emulie gets some...SCART links, we have a child-on-child violence and Flora kills HEAVEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHY DID FLORA SUDDENLY WANT TO KILL EVERY HUMAN WOMAN IN THE BATTLE? TO SPITE TRACE?

Yeah, something has gone terribly wrong between Trace and Flora. I have no idea why but we will find out eventually.

We see literally everyone except Deegan be idiots. How can a bodysnatching God not start a fire? I get a lion can't, and neither can Austin, he needs to save the matches for the soulvoring bombs. And Zack is exhausted after spending the whole day fucking a lake. Hey, does Zack turn into his succubus form every night too?

And Eric should go missing and never come back.

I guess Catwhis is trying to find Gene which is why she keeps turning into her superform every night? Or maybe she is picking up the family suit so she can talk to him, but Gene's also doing terrible with the fire.

Spinny thinks she's going mad because Mecha Maid is dead, Victor sent some water to his daughter and then we get an interesting dilemma. Apparently Kathy and Nurse Rapist hate eachother. They're probably too busy arguing which is more ethical, eating babies or...I am not even going to finish that sentence. I hope both of them die soon.

"Trace stays awake all night" yeah that sounds incredibly worrying. Santino sends Giancarlo more shit and Lexx gets a bomb from...I guess Victor too? Damian would probably come to the arena and hold a party.

Onto Day 3.

Zack gets a bomb from the texan centaur, Eric is still missing and Austin wants Luna to vore him? Because of the tusks? Or maybe you are searching for your next victim.

Speaking of searching for your next victim, I guess Flora is preparing to eat some humans tonight.

Digit turns into her adult form from the newer pages of the comic, Chel plays a mimic, and Spinny and Gene form an alliance. I admit these two aren't too far off from eachother's beliefs. I can see Gene charming Spinny by talking about Family of Intelligent Life and World of Friends and Spinny is then like "I CAN BE A SUPERHERO DURING IT". Yeah Spinny's superhero obsession is not too different from MacDoofuses's spy movie obsession.

Catwhis sees...something, somehow a bear makes a slingshot and finally Giancarlo gets to be part of action as a bunny chases after him. I imagine she is in her feral bunny form once again and Giancarlo is DEATHLY scared of bunnies lolsoquirky.

Poor Stropov, he hasn't been the same since he broke his libido by having sex with Sethephoni. Meanwhile, Emulie wants to SHOOT THOSE FUCKING ALIENS, Dominic casts some stupid illusion to troll Kathy, Kevin thinks he is in...uhh, video game where you shoot arrows at things, Nurse Rapist beats the shit out of a WEREWOLF with her giant cock and Gregory and Tina are an item now. Ewww, Pam please take Gregory back. He is turning into a grandmafucker.

Trace forms an alliance with A FURRY ANIMAL, THE ANIMAL WHOSE GUARDIAN HE KILLED? WHAT?

Also Lab dies, I guess it's because a bunch of raccoons saw him and gave him a disease.

Only Heaven and Lab died this time around, meaning Team Others is no more. But things are getting intense. Flora and Trace have something going on but it seems Darktraceplier has calmed down, Gregory and Tina are having a romance brew between eachother (unfortunately), Eric is missing in the woods like an idiot and Spinny and Gene did the alliance of the decade. Something tells me this will only be the calm before the storm. The STORM OF SOULS THAT IS.

[grandmawitch]

hey, can you please summarize the hobbit for me?

Okay let me spin you this yarn 🧶

Once upon a time there was a wee hobbit named Bilbo who lived in a hole in the ground—not a dirty wet hole, mind, but a cozy warm…this sounds…ANYWAY—he was v good with his cozy, peaceful, predictable life but perhaps deep down he was restless and ✨yearning✨ for something. Not enough to make him seek adventure or change but he was somehow just sliiightly not like the other hobs.

One day a wizard, Gandalf, shows up and Bilbo is compelled by hobbity protocol to be a good host, despite his misgivings. Gandalf eventually convinces him to accompany a (perhaps not so merry) band of 13 dwarves as their burglar on a heist. Bilbo is afraid to leave his comfy life and the dwarves are like WHAT, THIS GUY?! But eventually everyone is convinced and off they trot.

They run into I think three trolls who want to eat them, but the trolls are tricked into turning to stone in the sunrise. They have a hoard of traysure nearby and here Bilbo finds the elven dagger that will soon be known as Sting.

The troop carries on, and eventually they reach Rivendell and consult with Elrond.

Soon after they set out from Rivendell a snowstorm hits and they seek shelter in a cave. From whence they are promptly yoinked by goblins. Gandalf finds the group to rescue them and he’s like “guys. Where is Bilbo.” And they’re like 🤷🏻‍♀️ we literally didn’t notice idk

Meanwhile Bilbo is beebopping around some tunnels, lost as hell. Eventually he comes uponst a golden ring and pops it in his pocket. THEN he comes uponst Gollum who is like, “oh lunch?” but he cheats at a riddle contest and gets away.

After they all regroup a bunch of WARGS are set uponst them. They are rescued by the eagles (why did the eagles help here and not in LotR? In this essay I will—) and aided by Beorn (the love of my life?)who can turn into a bear and helps them recoup & regroup.

They head out again into Mirkwood, riiiiiight into a bunch of big fuckin spiders. The dwarves are captured by the spiders and Bilbo uses the ring to become invisible and sword ‘em to death. One of the spiders says “it’s got a stinger!” Or something like that and thus Sting is named.

THEN they’re immediately captured by wood elves.  Bilbo helps them escape again by using the ring, and stuffing them into barrels to float them down the river. 

They arrive in Lake Town in the shadow of the Lonely Mountain, their destination.

The people of Lake Town are like “hey plz do not piss off the giant dragon Smaug sleeping up there” and Bilbo is like “u got it” and immediately pisses him off. He sneaks in, chats up the dragon, steals a traysure, and sends Smaug into a rage. Smaug burns Lake Town to cinders but a little birdy tells Bard the human archer about Smaug’s weak point and he is slain.

Meanwhile the dwarves have entered the mountain and Thorin, the leader of the company, immediately gets the gold crazies (real greedy) and refuses the very reasonable request of aid the ppl of lake town make about the entire town they got burnt up.

So now the humans are pissed, the elves are pissed, and they’re like OPEN UP AND CATCH THESE HANDS but then also the goblins and wargs they also pissed off show up and the humans and elves are like GREAT NOW WE HAVE TO BAND TOGETHER ABOUT THESE GOBLINS AND WARGS. Even reluctantly joining forces isn’t enough though and the goblins are winning the battle but then the Eagles and Beorn show up and the war is won. (deep breath The Eagles help here BECAUSE according to the Unfinished Tales, Gandalf needs a stronghold of Good in the North in case of eventual attacks from Sauron in the South in the event he is not defeated AND bc they are sort of written as a sort of divine intervention adjacent type of situation when someone is likely to martyr themselves but the Maiar can’t/won’t intervene bc of that time they sunk an entire continent into the ocean AND they don’t risk open war AND in this case they were protecting their nesting lands).

Gandalf drops Bilbo, now very wealthy and well-traveled, off in Hobbiton where he is now an outcast in Hobbit society but he isn’t really assed about it. He loves the comforts of his home and decides to write down all of his adventures.

I never get to talk about this stuff at length, thank you for the opportunity! 💕

[blizzardstarx]

Major villains of Creature School sketches are done!! (the ones that i remember at least, i forgot what villains are between the portal plot and shadow tribe cult plot) it goes from newest to oldest, Shruikan, Abaddon, Bear, and Scar!!

also i added knight (without his armor) next to Halfmask

@castiels-destiny

Shruikan is the leader of the Shadow Tribe

Abaddon was a villain in partially the Bear and Misty plot, Pontalo plot, then fully the portal plot

Bear was Misty’s adoptive father and was evil as shit lmfao and kidnaps all of them

Scar was the first villain, starting out as someone who shoves Misty off the roof. He’s a wolf with a long scar down his left eye, and has demon wings that are purple, with purple dark magic

these parts below are confusing as shit because we cane up with shit on the spot

he also tried to kill Misty and her family when she was young?? they used to be childhood friends??

he used to bully flame at a school before the original? well that aint canon

they get dorms and scar and flame share a dorm LMFAOOOO and then scar confronts flame because he thought she led her on or some shit

okay no more confusing stuff now

anyways dagger breaks the teachers mug lmao and then someone (i think flame) puts a forcefield around it, but i think she finds a way around it a while later

a factory that pollutes the air near the school is created (idk how that doesnt violate any laws) and creates trolls??? that killed Fang’s parents?? (he later (like in the 250s) finds his mother whos a silkwing (i forgot her name)

Scar makes a high pitched whistle that glitches Misty between forms and they all fight and stuff, and he summons up a purple lightning storm, and then Dagger KILLS HIM LMAO

well… his clone… he’s the cloning master?? flame has a vision of this stuff, how he rises from the ashes and comes back and summons his little demon clones 😭😭 their eyes are on the drawing

he corrupts flame and steals her powers and she, Misty, and Fang get a mark, Misty cuts out most of them (i forgot how she escaped), kicking him out

they fight again, Flame finally kills Scar, and she discovers her nightmare fire wolf form again, and the new school got destroyed LMAOO

they build a new school, and theres sculptures of the four :) i remembered this

then Bear’s pack comes lmfaoo and this post is too long 😭😭😭 only meant for one drawing

ALSO LMFAO rereading creature school i find that Dagger actually destroys the first school with her lightning after defeating Flame in Fighting Class

and then Misty moves to another school and all the shit happens

also flame/paradox literally brings a flamethrower to school to eat the fire

dagger has a bunch of powers and had a human form as a werecat, but she could turn into any kind of cat

i remember later in the rp dagger actually discovered shes a dragon??? and can change into any type of dragon (during the fight with scar after he gets kicked out of flames mind), she also finds out her real mother, Stinger, whos a HiveWing, a long while later

the range of mountains has a mountain called The Scarlet Pinnacle??

okay okay anyways i didnt know how to draw abaddon as the guardians of the portal’s designs were based off Melog of SPoP, but i wanted them to look different in this drawing

also heres an old drawing of the ogs i found while pouring through the pages of the rp!!

Flame is in her Griffin form here LMFAOOO it looks fucking weird

But yeahhh broken mug has transferred to the new poster <333

heres old drawing of Scar!!

[keydekyie]

Sorry if this was asked already, what inspired you to make TMATB?

ok so... this got a little long. No surprises there lmao.

TL;DR:

I was a messed up bitey little monster kid and I wanted to write a story about a monster and a human who start out as enemies but come to love each other and rescue each other and go on adventures and maybe just maybe change the world. ♥️

long version below:

this led me to go crack open my old sketchbooks from around early 2012 to 2013 to find my first drawings of Kanai, and the drawings of a bunch of sphinxlike monstery creatures I know precluded them, but it doesn't seem like I have those sketchbooks with me. :( I only have a couple here in Georgia, the rest are in my mom's basement in Colorado.

But really inspiration goes back further than that. Ever since I was little I've always been frustrated that the monsters in stories seemed to always be either scary and irredeemably evil, or misunderstood babus who wouldn't hurt a fly, with no in-between. It bothered me because I knew I was kind of a messed up little monster of a kid (in the throes of undiagnosed adhd, having emotional breakdowns, biting people, not having many friends, going to the principle's office a lot, etc) but I didn't want to be bad. I wanted to be good, I wanted to be gentle and nice and make friends and be understood the way the dopey-good monsters in the stories were. But I didn't relate to them. I bit people and dug in the dirt and talked to my cats.

So I'd always wanted a story where the monster was like that: nasty and scary and a little bad, the way any person could be, but ultimately just... a person. A person who craves tenderness and understanding and wants to do the right thing even if they don't really know what that means, but also maybe bites sometimes and digs in the dirt.

And I wanted a story about someone who could relate to and come to love that monster, despite that being the objectively dangerous and difficult thing to do. I wanted a love story, but I didn't want it to be easy, with a magic ending where the monster gets to be human. I wanted the stakes to be high, I wanted the climb to be steep, and I wanted the payoff to be satisfying.

So at the end of high school in 2012 (when I was mostly obsessing over another story of mine called Divergence, which is a whole other enormous can of worms) I was suddenly driven to draw out basically the whole kidnapping scene from book I in comic form:

I can't share the whole thing because it's, like... hideously bad and not canon anymore anyway, but it was the start of the whole thing. Kanai were more troll-like. It wasn't until a year later when I got into a sphinx kick that they turned into bear-sphinxes.

On top of what I said earlier, I just really loved the idea of putting the monster in a tricky ethical predicament, rather than the "hero." Why should the hero always get to be the one faced with moral dilemmas? So I made the monster have to choose: A) eat the human he's befriended and be accepted by society or B) spare the human and be rejected by society. Everything else followed from that. In book II I have Kaelin wrestle with having befriended a man-eating monster, in book III Ruyak is having to come to terms with being a man-eating monster, and in book IV they're going to have to face a world that they've both outgrown, and that doesn't have a place for them anymore.

So that'll be fun.

[calliecstuff]

I found a bunch more:

Bird [by comfeeeeeeee] Bird [by nuclearraven-woman] Manticore [by redroversendjayover] Spider [by sweetspidergirl] Mouse [by alice-arty] Zombie [by sunnyrabbit05] Cat [by v0vivi0v] Cyberdemon [by kazsartcorner] Troll [by artvil-gang] Polar Bear [by frostehburr] Lamia [by robins-warudo] Shapeshifter [by maxine302] Vulture [by prollymad] Dragon [by a-being-that-just-is] Slug [by a-being-that-just-is] Cryptid [by thejaded0nes] Robot [by lavender-inkwell-99] Monkey [by mechanical-sunchild] Eldritch Dragon [by your-pal-nebula] Time Lord [by joyfulbeatrix] Digimon [by reticent-fate] Plant [by jalopytheplant] Slime [by ruckeysquared] Fox [by super-sayian-kitty64] Demon [by pugsofwriting] Weasel [by alice-of-heart] Sylveon [by constellarcreator] Robot [by squiddotmid] Eevee [by darlingsuperstition] Chimera [by gate4043] Swolbold [by flowershakur] Type Green [by scpwiki-official] Dragon [by tresenellaart] Dragon [by theinsidiousdice] Robot [by raptorbricksart] Dragon [by koalaphoenix] Gem [by techno-toister] Hybrid [by ehksidian] Ktletaccete [by fenmere] Slime [by madelinemccoolname] Succubus [by lariumbreon] Catgirl [by cherrypillowzz] Cat [by ofdreamsanddoodles] Human [by beedokart] Demon [by beedokart] Flesh [by anti-psycomics] Bird [by flightlessbirdgirl] Kaiju [by roxynychus] Dragon [by Jocelyn Samara DiDomenick] Hellhound [by dariothecat-blog]

and a bunch of related/inspired things:

The Sign for Gold is Ugly [by ashleyrowanthewriter] Wolf and Rabbit [by mscoffeesq] Project Chimera [by mysteriousmaninthesmoke] Dr Vee [by haarlow] Timeline [by nyxisart] Scales [by gamemakerm] Good Sleep HRT [by butterfly-sapphire] TheraSMD 335 Providers Informational Report [by cerislabnotes] Researchers Note 311: 15 Minutes [by cerislabnotes] Animal HRT CVS parody [by anameistoohard] Magic HRT [by stickia404]

Human Replacement Therapy Extended Universe (and inspired) Link Collection

Been seeing a lot of those Human Replacement Therapy comics and stories going around and I wanted to try and make a list of the first (?) panels/chapters of each one I've found so far, so.......... Dragon [by ayviedoesthings] Fish [by welldrawnfish] Bat [by kaylasartwork] Puppy [by nyxisart] Mouse [by prettiestplatypus] Worm (I can't find the first one I'm too lazy) [by shaveyoureyebrows] Axolotl [by bubbleverseart] Goat [by kontonord] Elf [by squiretilde] Eldritch [by dawning-mars] Bird [by vy-canis-melodis] Slime [by pollypoirate] Slime (Written) [by mint-and-authoress] Slime (Written) [by scrubbinn] Slime (Written) [by sandyca5tle] Shifter (Written) [by calliecwrites] Cow (Written) [by josphitia] Bovine [by pennymations] Wolf [by gracewolfing] Coyote [by vanillayoteart] Werewolf [by tobydoeswrite] Werewolf [by cyberbeast99] Tiger (Written) [by tigergirltail] Mermaid HRT Poem [by ashleyrowanthewriter] Kitsune (Written) [by mothduchess] ??? [by home-sweet-hive] Sonic [by sonic-spirit]

*insert break so tumblr will let this post*

Aves [by cozy-kitty-corner] Cat [by entroart] King Cobra [by thecrystalmountainsystem] Polymorph [by probablyplural] Human [by deadeyedfae] Werewolf [by furfangsandfierceness] Werewolf [by lycans-art-kingdom] Mermaid [by noreo-oreo] Puppy [by noreo-oreo] Deer [by aster-is-confused] Lamia [by ariathelamia] Moth [by hyacinthdoll1315] Skunk [by sundaysstrawberrykombucha] Void [by v-draws-whatever] Dragon [by zykeroth] ??? [by transpandaart] Jaguarfolk [by jaguarfolkhrt] Sheep [by cr1zz0] Bunny [by grumpybunny-edith] Fox [by disappointedcreeper] Sparrow [by lylaslilacss] Animal? [by cutepastelstarsailor] Cow [by megamoonerjenny] Bug [by thebugautistic] Vrastelian [by silliestcreature196] Elf [by siimplyapril] Demon [by shockpulse] Wolf and Crow [by sunification] Bird [by tiredtiresias] Shoggoth [by aiden-nevada]

Worldbuilding:

Hyper City [by nuggetofthesea]

THEMS [by xiontheslime]

Iris the witch [by darkmagenugget]

Please feel free to let me know of any you know of that I missed. I'll periodically update the post with anything I get links to.

I have also made a Google Doc which depending on the version of this post that got reblogged onto your feed, may be more up to date then the post itself.

[pesterloglog]

Karkat Vantas, John Egbert

Act 4, page 1903

CG: SEE THIS IS A CASE IN POINT.

EB: what point?

CG: THE POINT I WAS JUST MAKING.

CG: ABOUT THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE.

CG: YOU BLITHERING FECULENT SHITHOLE.

CG: OK THAT'S YOUR CUE TO LAUGH AT ME SOME MORE I GUESS.

CG: BECAUSE YOU SEEM TO REALLY GET OFF WHENEVER I FLAME YOU.

CG: HUMANS ARE DERANGED.

EB: oh man, i must be getting closer to the conversations where you're trolling me harder!

EB: this is pretty exciting, i can't wait to see what you've got up your sleeve.

CG: YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN??? FUCK YOU ABOUT THAT.

EB: anyway, you weren't making a point about the ultimate riddle, dude.

CG: YES I WAS, AND NOW I'M LOSING MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT DIPSHIT.

EB: nope, we never talked about it.

EB: yet...

CG: OH HELL, THAT'S RIGHT.

CG: DAMMIT, I GUESS THIS IS GOING TO BE CONFUSING.

EB: oh, you're just starting to figure that out now?

CG: SEE I KIND OF PAINTED MYSELF INTO A CORNER.

CG: I STARTED TROLLING YOU AT THE END, JUST BEFORE THE RIFT.

CG: AND THEN JUMPED BACK A LITTLE.

CG: AND NOW I GUESS I'VE BECOME RAILROADED INTO WORKING BACKWARDS HERE.

CG: UNLESS I WANT TO DO THE SORT OF DUMB SCHIZOPHRENIC HOPPING AROUND LIKE THE OTHERS.

EB: oh my god, i know, you've already told me like a million times!!!

CG: I HAVE?

CG: WOW I CAN'T WAIT FOR ALL THESE AMAZING CONVERSATIONS TO TAKE PLACE.

CG: IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE THAT HUMAN VACATION WITH THE GIANT RED CHIMNEY ASSHOLE UP IN HERE.

a: YOU KNOW, THE ONE WHERE A BUNCH OF MOANY NOOKSUCKERS SING AT A LITTLE PINE TREE I THINK.

EB: man, i've got to say i'm a little disappointed by this "masterful trolling" you were bragging about.

CG: I WAS BRAGGING?

CG: WHY WOULD I BOTHER WITH THAT SORT OF PEDANTIC HUMAN HORSESHIT.

CG: MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER THAT I WAS BRAGGING TO GET YOUR HOPES UP IN THE FUTURE.

CG: ONLY TO LET YOU DOWN.

CG: AND THUS TROLL YOU MASTERFULLY IN THAT RESPECT.

EB: maybe, but that would be pretty weak too!!!

CG: YOUR BRITTLE HUMAN CALCIUM BASED SKULL IS WHAT IS WEAK, AND IF YOU AND I WERE IN THE PROXIMITY OF A BLUNT INSTRUMENT I WOULDN'T HAVE MUCH TROUBLE PROVING IT.

EB: w/e.

EB: so what was the "case in point" you were making, anyway?

CG: I WAS SCROLLING BACK AND NOTICED YOU WERE IN THE VEIL.

EB: whoa, i am?

CG: YEAH DUMBDUMB, YOU'RE TUMBLING AROUND ON A BIG GODDAMN METEOR.

CG: AND YOU JUST CREATED YOUNGER VERSIONS OF YOURSELVES AND YOUR GUARDIANS.

CG: PROBABLY BY MUCKING AROUND WITH THAT THING LIKE A DOOFUS.

EB: wait...

EB: these are baby versions of us?

CG: HAHAHAHAHAHA, SO CLUELESS.

CG: WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING THERE ANYWAY.

EB: well...

EB: i saw footage of my nanna, and some other people who i am pretty sure were like jade's grandpa and rose's mom and stuff from a long time ago.

EB: and then...

EB: there were all these little guys scurrying around.

EB: so they are like cloned copies of us?

CG: NO.

CG: THEY ARE LITERALLY YOU AND YOUR GUARDIANS.

CG: PARADOX CLONES.

EB: huh?

EB: what do you mean they are literally us?

EB: do they go back in time?

CG: YEAH, OBVIOUSLY. GREAT GUESS BRAIN HERO.

CG: BUT TECHNICALLY THEY AREN'T EVEN SENT BACK IN TIME BECAUSE WITH RESPECT TO THE MEDIUM YOUR UNIVERSE'S TIMELINE IS MEANINGLESS.

CG: SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD IT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT EARTH'S PAST OR FUTURE OR WHATEVER, FROM IT'S PERSPECTIVE IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF POINTS TO CHOOSE FROM.

CG: JUST LIKE YOUR CHRONOLOGY IS FROM OUR PERSPECTIVE.

CG: BUT I GUESS THAT'S A BUNCH OF SEMANTICS. WITH RESPECT TO YOUR PERSONAL CHRONOLOGY YEAH THEY GO BACK IN TIME.

CG: A PARADOX CLONE IS BY DEFINITION A CORRECTLY CLONED DUPLICATE THAT WILL INEVITABLY GO BACK IN TIME AND BECOME THE ORIGINAL TARGET THAT WAS CLONED.

CG: IF IT'S A MALFORMED CLONE, IT'S JUST A MEANINGLESS MUTANT THAT HAS NO BEARING ON THE STABLE LOOP CONTINUUM.

CG: I DON'T SEE ANY TENTACLES OR EXTRA EYEBALLS OR WARPED BONE BULGES, SO THOSE GROSS LITTLE THINGS THERE ARE ALL YOU GUYS, WAITING TO GO TO EARTH AND GROW UP AND BECOME THE INSIPID BUNCH OF GRUBFISTED DOUCHEBAGS YOU ALL ARE NOW.

CG: AND THIS WAS THE POINT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE ABOUT THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE.

EB: what is the riddle anyway?

EB: maybe i can guess, i am good at riddles!

CG: HAHAHA, THINK AGAIN IGNORAMUS.

CG: IT'S NOT EVEN THAT GREAT.

CG: OR EVEN MUCH OF A RIDDLE AT ALL.

CG: IN THE COURSE OF YOUR ADVENTURE YOU WOULD HAVE ENCOUNTERED ALL THESE FRAGMENTS OF LIKE WEIRD POEMS AND SHIT.

CG: YOU FIND THEM ALONG YOUR QUESTS, WITH CLUES AND STUFF BURIED IN THEM TO HELP YOU SOLVE PUZZLES AND MOVE HUGE STONE COLUMNS AND MAKE STAIRCASES APPEAR AND LOTS OF NONSENSE LIKE THAT.

CG: AND IT'S ALL MASKED IN THIS FLOWERY SORT OF FROTHY POETIC JACKASSERY THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT.

CG: AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILING IT FOR YOU.

CG: BUT WHAT ALL THESE LOFTY SYMBOLIC ALLUSIONS BOIL DOWN TO IS SOME GRANDER STATEMENT ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE HAPPENING HERE.

CG: THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS THE KEY TO SEEDING YOUR OWN EXISTENCE THROUGH THIS GAME.

CG: AND ANY HOPE THAT IT COULD HAVE PLAYED OUT DIFFERENTLY OR THAT YOU COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS WHOLE MESS WAS ALWAYS JUST A RUSE.

EB: a distaction, perhaps?

CG: WHAT?

EB: nevermind.

CG: BECAUSE IF IT DIDN'T GO DOWN THIS WAY THEN HOW WERE YOU EVEN BORN, GET IT.

CG: WHICH IS ESPECIALLY PATHETIC SINCE PARADOX SPACE APPARENTLY WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE TO MAKE YOU JUST TO HAVE YOU FAIL AND DIE.

CG: REALLY THERE'S NOTHING MORE TRAGIC THAN THESE NULL SESSIONS FULL OF KIDS ENTERING THE GAME AND FULFILLING SOME COSMIC DESTINY SHIT JUST TO GET WIPED OUT AND LEAVE BEHIND AN EMPTY POINTLESS INCIPISPHERE FOR ALL ETERNITY.

CG: ACTUALLY IT'S SORT OF HILARIOUS.

CG: OR IT WOULD BE IF IT DIDN'T AFFECT ME PERSONALLY.

CG: BUT ANYWAY, THERE'S A LOT MORE TO THE RIDDLE THAN JUST THAT, LIKE WHAT WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT LAST TIME WE TALKED.

CG: BUT THAT'S SORT OF THE GIST OF THE THEMES IT DEALS WITH.

EB: ok.

EB: well, if i run into some salamanders who tell me all about this riddle and get really excited about it, i will try to act surprised.

EB: so this is the same kind of thing you went through?

EB: with, like, being your own paradox clones and creating your own parents and stuff?

CG: YEAH.

EB: how did that even work, with 12 of you?

CG: IT WAS REALLY FUCKING COMPLICATED AND I'M NOT GOING TO GET INTO IT.

CG: OUR FAMILY STRUCTURES ARE ALREADY WAY MORE COMPLICATED THAN YOURS WITHOUT EVEN GETTING SPOOKY TIME SLIME INVOLVED.

CG: BASICALLY WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WHATSOEVER.

CG: EXCEPT MAYBE THIS...

CG: I WAS THE GUY IN YOUR POSITION, TO MAKE ALL THESE CLONES, AND FRANKLY IT ALL KIND OF FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT.

EB: huh...

EB: yeah, i guess now that you mention it, i am finding it all a little strange...

CG: OH, ONLY JUST NOW???

CG: FUCK YOU ARE FAST, I HOPE YOU GOT THE MAD BOONBUCKS TO PAY OFF THOSE SPEEDING TICKETS.

EB: no, no, i mean the ghost stuff and paradoxes are one thing of course...

EB: it's something else.

EB: it's just...

EB: this is really weird...

CG: WHAT'S SO WEIRD ABOUT IT.

EB: well, normally humans hatch...

EB: from like these slimy pods.

EB: then we wriggle out as a little pink larva.

CG: OH REALLY.

CG: HUH, MAYBE WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I THOUGHT.

EB: (hehehehehehehe)

CG: MAYBE THOSE REALLY ARE MUTANT CLONES AND THEY AREN'T GOING BACK TO SEED YOUR PLANET???

EB: um...

EB: sure...?

CG: HELL, I'M CONFUSED NOW.

CG: NOT THAT I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POINTLESS AWFUL LIVES.

EB: hey, i have an idea.

EB: why don't you get back to me in a few minutes?

EB: i mean like a few minutes of my time, not yours.

EB: all of these little pink monkeys are getting way out of line and i have to tend to them.

EB: if you message me in a couple minutes, we can continue conversing in a sane, linear fashion for a change!

CG: UM, OK?

EB: and then after that you can keep going backwards and then make fun of me riding my little red rocket.

EB: you can tell me i look like a silly little paradox clone fresh out of my slime tube and this is just all a big nurseytime recess jamboree.

EB: that would burn me good!

CG: OK THAT IS PRETTY GOOD.

CG: BUT I CAN'T USE IT, BECAUSE YOU SAID IT, AND THEN LATER, I.E. RIGHT NOW, YOU WOULD GET THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE ONE TO COME UP WITH THAT BURN.

CG: SEE, YOU ARE DEALING WITH A PRO, YOU CAN'T OUT TROLL ME SO JUST FORGET ABOUT IT AND STOP TRYING.

EB: (hehehehehehehehehehehe)

[violetsystems]

I don't really play Elden Ring by a guide unless it's some esoteric quest or I need to find a bearing somewhere to upgrade a weapon. I've fumbled around the game since I bought it back for my birthday back in 2022. So I guess this birthday I'd be playing it for two years and still haven't finished it. I've been stuck on the Godskin Apostle in the basement of Caelid for what seems months. It is hard to cheese but you learn a lot from the fight. I think I ended up beating it with the fanged imp ashes at +6 and level 116 or something. Scarlet Rot buildup from the black blade helps. But it seemed like after a lot of trial and error the AI just sometimes lets you win. Or rather the AI doesn't let you win until it thinks you've learned something. I have another instance of that in Leyndell Royal Capital. I stumbled on a well on the other side of the city that led to a different part of the sewers. It's a whole other area called Subterranean Shunning Grounds. It's horrible. A maze of pipes with imps that hit you for blood loss. Big ass trolls called omens that hit hard with axes and cursed flame AOE. You get knocked off the pipes and fall down to your death into a pit of shrimp. If you don't use a guide you'll end up in some situations where you want to throw the controller. And yet one fateful hit from an imp off a pipe and I landed on another series of pipes just below me after a few hours of dueling. Just enough leverage to pick off the shrimp from the air and find a bunch of smithing stones. Hidden off a corner all the way at the bottom is yet another corridor that leads deeper into a tomb way below the city. It's one of those things where a game's AI literally beats you to a pulp just to fuck with you and somehow finds sympathy every so often to lead you down the right path. It doesn't seem petty or evil like regular people. In that respect, I never really feel like the game is being cheap. It's having fun toying with you. And I like when the AI decides by itself to launch you off to your death only to be saved by pure accident like a cat landing on your feet. As if it meant to do that. I wish humans were that diabolical and smart instead of being cruel and self serving. Instead everybody's a comedian until somebody gets hurt. Then they're just a fascist with a dumb look on their face and an accusatory stare when you call them out on it. At least the imps get the message eventually and go away. And they never have a comeback once you've beaten them at their own game.

[squid--inc]

i find it funny that the plot itself of homestuck is fairly simple considering, it's all the lore, and buildup, and just random fun bits that make it so convoluted. it's a huge webcomic when you take it as a whole.

like, yeah, it's a group of kids that try playing a funny computer game, and meet a bunch more kids (aliens{trolls} being the first ones they meet), turns out to be the end of their world, who have to basically jump around timelines to beat a bad guy who wants to kill/Destroy everything, so that no one has even an afterlife to enjoy. sure, curve ball with the timeline jumping, but it's pretty important to the plot.

but then you throw in the build up of: because the trolls ability to contact the humans at any point in time thanks to fucked up features of the game, it leads to the weird ass kk: "fuck you future me" future kk: "fuck you past me." tg: "what the fuck is happening". and because they do talk to past versions of everyone from the future, they also have the ability to deliver important info that can help everyone, or make dumber shit happen.

the lore that the trolls are kind of like insects, being born from "an incestuous slurry" and growing up as literal grubs until they develop humanoid bodies, and the fact that they will eat these infants in the brutalist timeline where they're ruled by, essentially, genocidal troll niki minaj.

there's also the fact that trolls experience relationships on a quadrant, and they essentially have to jack off into a bucket and send it with a robot sent by troll Niki so they can have babies.

there's also a whole other plot line where the villain and his sister play chess, and it turns out theyhave the same body, because they're an even more fucked up alien than the trolls.

these details aren't necessary to understand the concept of the plot, it's not actually that insane, at it's base, but there's so much random, funny dumbshit that has very little bearing to what a basic description of the webcomic is about, but also is why shit happens the way it happens. and that's why there's so much bullshit the homestuck fandom can pull, because no, it's not about juggalos becoming the first double Presidents of the united states, but the fact that they are plants by troll niki minaj to create the downfall of humanity, and flood the earth, but yes it still creates plot relevance because the alpha kids are from different parts of their own timeline, and the future kids might have no reason to actually talk to the past kids, otherwise, and they'd never play their version of the game.

like, this is (clearly) not a super intelligent, researched essay about homestuck, but it is taking a stab at the question "what even is homestuck about" and all the times someone goes for this concept of "oh, homestuck is super complicated, and I'd need forever to explain what it's about.", and like, no. it's not complicated, as plots go. it just has a lot of fun convoluted bullshit going on all the time.