#a brother who you desperately love?
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Can you imagine if, seeing Sindri so broken, after the funeral, Kratos had had the chance to quietly tell him that he also lost a brother? A brother who he deeply loved. Who he loved so much he wasn’t able to name his child after him, because he couldn’t bear being reminded of Deimos every time he thought of his son. A brother who he had also looked for and tried desperately to save, only to lose him forever.
In fact, they both lost their brothers twice. They both thought they had found them again only for it all to be ripped away.
Kratos understood exactly the kind of grief Sindri was going through, how heartbreaking that he wasn’t able to tell him so.
#oh my poor heart :(#if he ever sees sindri again#maybe he will one day be able to tell him#because no one else knows that pain like he does#twice trying to save your brother and losing him all the same#a brother who you desperately love?#Kratos understands that better than anyone else that sindri knows#also#(I’ve edited this because a couple of people have pointed out it’s not really that ooc and on reflection I agree)#Kratos#sindri#brok#Deimos#Atreus#god of war#god of war ragnarok#also the bit about names apparently comes from Cory himself#but i haven’t seen or heard it firsthand
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something that always gets me about klavier is that he is so clearly just like. friendly. he cares so much and he cares too much. he's one to tease simultaneously but he so clearly just like. loves and loves and loves, even when it puts him in harm's way, he likes people and he likes being around people enough to be desperate for it and for friendship like. ough
#goober.txt#klavier gavin#kristoph gavin#aa4#this is also partially why I am such a truther of nuance in klavier+kris's relationship#I think it mixes well with prev just in like. how much he cares is both part of his core and a byproduct of#being desperate for all the connection he lost + that was plenty dysfunctional on top of that (but all he had)#I think it actively hits harder if he's conflicted for missing someone who was terrible because it was still his brother and like.#I think kris having been good to klavier sometimes (adding to the dysfunction of the bad) is something that I've always liked#because like#I think klavier having a 'is it wrong to want him dead' and 'am I terrible for missing him badly' thing happenin at the same time is!!#so good and also very sad and I love you gavin brother things that capcom didn't give us. love you klavier gavin#I like the idea of him having that confliction alongside his grief :( ow#I literally don't have the right words to properly express all my thought cereal on this. other people have done it though so it is ok haha#I love when fictional grief has the confliction of 'being reminded the monster was also human and that makes everything worse' it's so good#like I hate you. I miss you. the way you were nice to me was so very you and it makes me soft and sad and tired. I miss you.#you were awful in unspeakable ways. I miss you.#sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like without you and it comforts me as much as it terrifies me. I miss you
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Tim, [trying to bond with toddler!Damian and spend time with him]:
toddler!Damian, [actually hissing]: you dare to show your affection to ME?? hmp!! i do not wish to partake in such unbecoming things!! stay away from me pitiful human! you truly are such a disgrace!
Tim, [ignoring Damian because he's busy with other stuff]:
toddler!Damian, [his eyes wide]: you... dare ignore Damian? you ignore him like garbage?! oh! oh! jail for big brother! jail for big brother for One Thousand Years!!!
#tim drake#damian wayne#batbros#batbrats#batfam#dc#toddler dami is just as much of a brat as grown up dami#tim: 'little brother!! :D'#dami: 'no.stay.away >:('#tim: *giving his attention to other things*#dami: 'where is my love and attention?! where is my hugs and attention from my big brother i so desperately need?!'#'surely you are not so evil to ignore my needs for love and attention big brother!!!#dami is a cat#a very stubborn feral cat who i love sm#tim having so much cuteness aggression: *clenches his fist and glares at everyone*
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congrats to this guy who loves getting cushy with the new guys but especially the fact hes immediately gotten comfortable with BOTH adam and jesper
#maffhew and the broqvists#sounds like an awful band name you make in highschool in your mothers garage#i think a lot about adam toddling after maffhew#but also maffhew laughing about the brady better chants and cackling about it WITH JESPER#WHO IS ALSO AN OLDER BROTHER WITH AN AMAZING BABY BROTHER#need to know what jesp and him are talking about DESPERATELY#everyone loves maffhew#its impossible not to#bumpies with the boys...#this needs to be STUDIED
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the irony of cesare slutshaming juan for sleeping in brothels had me with tears in my eyes considering his very first scene in the show is him rawdogging a prostitute like his life depended on it...like babygirl we see you!!!
#like they're such whores i'm screaming!! but also so on brand when you think of it. since the real ones both were fucking sancia byeee#i believe the scene where cesare fucks that girl is just a glimpse of the show adapting the Real cesare's General Manwhorishness™ though!#if you're the borgia family enthusiast you already know that cesare has sired 7 illegitimate kids because of his romantic exploits lmao#cesare borgia i love your hypocritical ass fr like yessss#also love their rivalry so much because there's cesare who always wanna one-up juan in every aspect and be seen as the serious and driven#which is true about the hypercompetent and ambitious part!! but he fulfills his duty in the family in ways that are not conventional#meanwhile with juan...he fully embraces his hedonism and isn't ashamed of it. while he's aware that cesare outdo him in everything...#the only thing he has over cesare is his position as a gonfaloniere!! so he winds cesare up with flexing it!!!#the difference is cesare is as much as he hollers about doing everything for the family...he pretty much does it mostly for selfish reasons#his desperation for juan's position and rodrigo's attention made him sabotage the family more than persevering it etc#while juan is genuine but is reckless and incompetent but he Really tries yk? he really does! but he spiraled bc he feels weak and insecure#oh well both brothers are idiots in their own ways#i miss them fr#cesare borgia#juan borgia#the borgias#juan and cesare#text post
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ok... so Lambert x Eve...
Eve and the two Blaiddyds
Lambert and the two Fierenes
The step-siblings
@blaiddydbrokeit and I were talking, and they have now sent me down the wonderful rabbit hole that is Eve and Lambert getting married and looking after their children.
#Dimi desperately needs a good mother figure (y'know rather than his idealised image of Patricia who never really loved him and didn't pay#attention to him no matter what he says to himself (you know only having that one memory of her where she was looking out the window and ig#ring him) and then tried to murder him adn his whole family) anyway#Eve would be good for Dimi#and Lambert and Alfred and Celine would get up to all sorts of shenanigans#but also Lambert might be able to help Celine understand and overcome her fear of other's deaths#Dimitri in particular would be able to understand that fear and sympathise with her#and alfred is just having a great time with a new brother and dad because everything is awesome all the time and his old dad would have lov#d his new dad and he tells alear all about it and she's like ooh!#anyway an adorable meet the step-dad step-brother situation for the couple (you know my alflear loving heart can never resist an opportunit#anyway#other tags were originally messaged to a pal when we discussed the idea but I thought they would work under the picutres too:#crack ship or not Lambert and eve are adorable in my brain#lambert egitte blaiddyd#queen Eve#fire emblem engage#fire emblem three houses#anyway maybe in a heroes universe or something; or dimi revives Lambert using some sort of magic and then Lambert and eve meet up in a Fodl#an and Elyos meet and greet sort of ball and they become friends and then they discuss being widowed and through a long series of meet ups#realise a political marriage between them both would be good for Fodlan and Fahrgus and good for Fierene and Elyos and they're also in love#anyway they both visit each other's spouses graves on the anniversary of death#like they would both really respect their partner's deceased spouses and not be jealous at all when the other gets upset and is like#I really miss them. Because they both get it
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i love my sister and for the most part, we are very close and genuinely like each other a lot but the one place where i'd just really, really, really like to see inside her brain is the part where she is still incredibly comfortable and cheerful—and even thinks it's really funny—talking about how much she didn't like me as a child while I'm like. yes. I am and was aware. and it sucked so so so much
#we had a really wild moment over dinner last week where she actually acknowledged#EXPLICITLY with her OWN WORDS#that things like our brother dying right when i was going into my senior yr of high school#and covid lockdown starting right when i'd graduated college + moved to a new city where i knew no one except her + was applying/auditionin#for jobs#were harder on me than one her in some unique ways#and i was literally like . is. is this a test? am i supposed to deny it?#bc like when our brother died she told me i was a selfish brat (for not grieving the way she did)#and during covid she told me (right after i got laid off) that she had ''way more reasons to be depressed'' than i did#personal#anyway she was laughing so much as she said this (abt not liking me) and i was just staring at her nodding slightly like#yeah. i know. i know you didn't like me#do YOU know how much it sucks to know that your older sister--whom you idolize--who you *desperately* want to like you--#not only doesn't like you at all#but even up into high school/college#would talk about how she couldn't wait till our LITTLE (five year old) cousins were old enough to hang because they'd be so much fun#and know that she had absolutely never thought or said that about you#do you perhaps! think that might still have ramifications on our relationship to this day#if your little sister spent 20+ years knowing that your love was conditional on them being the person you wanted her to be#like. do u???#(the answer is no of course but#i remain boggled by the fact that this eludes her considering she is! in fact! a really smart person!)#it's also like when i was first offered my current job#and our now bosses asked both of us like ''are you worried at all about working with your sister?''#and she laughed like lol no of course not?#while i was like ''honestly yes.'' adskjfglkjasds#very different perspectives sometimes
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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3
#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people#going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry#but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad#sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man#i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did#i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space#with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it#and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that#so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also#that parts important#idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to#what how people who have really been abused have had to go through#but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective#not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here#bc that shit is a whole other can of worms#i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE#anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro#like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3#i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend#winter speaks
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i think some of you are too used to genre conventions, you guys forgot to question the worldbuilding that many authors painstakingly made to question the subject of death and life in a more nuanced manner than just "wow resurrection is so romantic!"
#like yeah i do love romanticizing horror tropes at times#but there's a reason why it is a horror trope and not a common romance plot#necromancy... especially mixing an individual's soul with that of another species is something that can be disturbing#doesn't matter if the one who's doing the resurrecting or the one get resurrected is in love#think about how falin feels knowing that even though marcille and laios loved her they ended up taking a decision#that not only hurts her physically but also emotionally#being stripped of control from your own body... not being able to do anything but follow your master's command...#falin did not asked to be the chimera#but that's what makes her decision to take the red dragon with her before she wakes up so cathartic in some ways#she also acknowledged that the red dragon did not ask for this to happen... just like how she forgives the lil guy she also#forgives her brother and marcille for taking this very... bad decision because she understands they're just as desperate#as she is when she tried to save them before she died#it circles back to the theme of accepting death and how resurrection magic ended up making people too comfortable#with the act of mindless killing of other living creatures#but yeah sadly people only see the surface level stuff but don't actively tried to understand the significance behind the plot#i can't really blame anime-only but people who read the manga tho...#if you only understand it as a romance trope and be like 'oh everyone else is just stupid' maybe you need to reread the manga#at least once a month#to understand ryoko kui's writing better#tmi tag
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i do get, probably overly, annoyed at people claiming that castiel’s only reason for rebellion was dean, that dean taught him how to rebel, etc. because that is not what happens in the show and uriel is Right There and if you just ignore the effect his actions, his rebellion, his death had on castiel continuing forward, then you may need to rewatch s4.
#‘castiel rebelled for dean’ Castiel Saw His Brother Get So Desperate From The Way Heaven Was Throwing Them To The Slaughter That He Stooped#To Killing Angels Himself To Find A Way Out With The Few Who Would Join Him#im just. if you say cas rebelled because he loved dean and thats it you are Wrong. that is not what the show was trying to get across to you#you have fallen for the classic trap of emphasizing romance over castiel’s other relationships. and its bad.#dean is. in many ways. the figurehead of castiel’s rebellion in the way that lucifer was for uriel. he has still picked a god and followed#him. but dean is not the Reason for him rebelling. anna and uriel already taught him how to do this. and what would happen if he did. and#idk. idk. just something that annoys me. get that weird romance-fixated crap out of here. castiel’s motivations run deeper than that.#uriel spn#castiel spn
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damn why did i stop being an alcoholic being drunk rules actually i dont feel a single OUNCE of my burdens. i just feel the wine. and its pink.
#this post is mostly a joke OBVIOUSLY i dont wanrt to be a True Alcoholic again#ive been sober#(in the definition that i dont consider myself addicted - not in the definition of complete abstinence)#since 2018. and its been very good for me obviously#but damn i gotta remember that alcohol exists and i have some if i ever truly need to unwind#bc like. yk. i have a lot of trouble unwinding#i used to have this uhh#one of my grandmothers brothers. idk the word.#he always said that the world was so bright and loud and sharp. except for when he drank.#dgmw. i do think autism runs on my dads side#(and thats cool!! bc it proves autism isnt just a white thing!!!!! something thats unfortunately a popular belief :/)#but i think there was def a genetic susceptibility to it on my moms side too#like ofc i was going to be autistic!! look at my family!!!#which is interesting bc as far as anyone can tell my only biological sibling isnt autistic#i have two Additional siblings but thats a longer story. but i love them both just as much as my biological sib#i love having lots of siblings by choice#so many of my younger friends have said im like an older brother they need#and i love that tbh. i love that i get to be something i desperately needed when i was a terrified teenager#n e ways. if u read this far thank you its just wine drunk ramblings.#WHO want to run in the forest naked with me
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Okay Dean “You know I am not much for prayin’ ‘cause in my book it’s the same as beggin’” and “I prayed to you, Cas, every night” Winchester, I see you.
#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#supernatural#just thinking my little thoughts#don’t look at me I’m having a moment#something something no greater devotion than that to his brother who he’s praying for in the former yet this implies#the same love and desperation fueling that must apply to Cas too#do y'all see what I'm saying? does the connection make sense?#especially s8 going forward Dean often takes the cake for toxicity I’m sorry it’s just true. HOWEVER. we need to talk about the softness#that man shows to Cas in this season specifically.#for ex: after Cas sternly shuts him down in 8x08 he doesn't get defensive and snap back like Dean often does#he goes over and sits on the bed across from cas and softly says 'talk to me.' like i'm sorry? has dean ever said that??#not that i recall. usually it's smthg like 'are you ok? no? that's rough buddy. shove it down.' bc that's what he was taught#and mid-end of the prior season though his ‘don’t tell Cas the truth’ plan was not great it was pretty clear imo how deeply happy he was#just to have cas back. broken or not he’d rather have him. .#I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say that's why we're in the tags but it's just something about how Cas deeply betrayed them and we#know how intensely Dean can hold a grudge yet when they get Cas back Dean's softer with him than he ever was before.#and then searches monster land high and low for him even after Cas abandons him#and connecting the former and latter quotes up there it's pretty clear how deep that devotion runs#(platonically or romantically. to each their own reading. and not always healthily.)#because he's as well as admitted he begged for Cas in purgatory. every. night.#Dean 'I don't pray bc i don't beg and I'm not weak'#Dean 'I would do anything for sam so i'll beg for help'#Dean 'I prayed to you. I killed my way to you. did you hear my prayers?'#it's just really somethin'.#I have to wonder if Cas knows how big that is. He must right?#(for my own tags)#dean#spn s8
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lonan and harrison fanfic where all they do is watch movies & throw popcorn at each other
#my brain NEEDS THIS NOW#all of this is prompted by me seeing the ‘ppl who say why are you buying a physical copy just stream it need to jump into a hole’ post#<< paraphrasing I can’t remember what it said exactly lol#a couple days ago#AND SINCE THEN IVE HAD AN INSATIABLE NEED TO GO TO A THRIFT STORE AND#BUY A WHOLE BUNCH OF DVDs#anyway does anyone remember how I discovered that something loner & harrison have in common is a love for movies#WELLLLLLLL now that I need to write cute fluffy scenes of them actually being functional I need to figure out which#they are canonically into film noir BUT WHAT ELSE#last week I decided I wanna watch every single movie referenced in current joys songs (not an autisric choice at all)#so 80s & 90s here I gooooo#BUT RECOMMEND I NEED TO LIVE LIKE THEM#but also why is them having something in common so cute to me like are they not a COUPLE??????#also I’m tired & been watching movies instead of writing because my brother left me his GIANT TV#BUT I CANT FIND ANY THAT ARE MY VIBE PROBABLY BECAUSE IM BAD AT LOOKING#AND QUEER MOVIE RECS PLS IM IN DESPERATE NEED OF GAY
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copy pasting from DMs and expanding on this a little actually
Thinking abt the fact that Elliott is an unreliable narrator and will just outright lie about things about himself, or twist them so severely that they threaten to break in order to be palatable and not say anything he thinks people won't want to hear. Man who spent a lot of years lying about his family, and upbringing, and sexuality, all because none of it was something someone else would want to hear and he doesn't want to be seen as broken, or a bummer, or to speak ill of the dead. It's better to mangle the truth until it fits whatever narrative you want to spin than it is to say something that's going to horrify someone
#one of my genuine favorite bits was from the SUPER early days of RP and deciding I didn't like how I had written his backstory#and began to slowly over the course of several months dole out little bits of lore that directly contradicted something he had said#until his brother (prior to his death) smashed their childhoods open like a seed and said ''he has been lying and here is what happened''#love a dramatic backstory reveal#also loved the panicky desperation of a caged animal who knew he'd been caught but still was unwilling to admit it#your super open and honest and truthful friend has been LYING to you about every inch of his past short of why he came to the Neath#and the configuration of his family#anyway then his brother got murdered because he sucked (womp womp)#now instead of lying about his life on the Surface he just doesn't discuss his childhood or up until he came down almost at all#''why is most of the post in the tags'' I'm using my inside voice
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You literally CANNOT make a toh tlt au because there is no way you can get everything to make sense. The two universes just do not cooperate. BUT Willow and Gus would make such a good cav and necro duo
#need more platonic loved stories that are doomed by the narrative#will both of them survive? whos to say...#i think amity would be in harrow's position. the one most desperate to become a lyctor. mirrors her s1 motivation to join the EC#also luz is her completely unqualified cav#like in the grom ep where she volunteered to be her knight#same energy#john is....yknow. peepaw himself.#eda would be one of his lyctors#shes so pyrah adjacent#raine's soul is still alive in her somewhere#she refuses to fully consume them. thats why her powers are weakened. its a curse but she wont fix it#john is....yknow. peepaw.#hunter is the resurrected corpse of his brother caleb#who died before pip wiped out all life in the universe#but caleb got really annoying and shitty (in pip's opinion) after he started dating girls in his teens#so pip keeps his new body permanently frozen at sixteen years old#before he became a bitch#hunter is incapable of physically or mentally maturing#hes just been a scared moody kid for thousands of years#when pip recruited amity for lyctorhood he was like ''look hunter a little playmate for you''#but they keep trying to kill each other with hammers#luz as kiriona....like the w&d luz in the belos outfit ooooooh#papa titan is alecto#dead but also not dead#and if he wakes up its fucking OVER for everyone#none of you know what the fuck im talking about sorry#i think king would be the soul of pluto put into the body of a small child or something idk
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i'm sitting in my bedroom, doing girly things; screaming out the lyrics to "good luck, babe", scrolling pinterest, feeling happy, when suddenly i'm snapped out of it (i think i've escaped the male gaze / the male fantasies that haunt me / but i realise i'm waiting for their approval / i am acting cute / dancing in my room / and that's just it / i am acting / pretending i don't know they're watching me / which only adds to the fantasy)
#where's that margaret atwood quote#everything is a male fantasy#it's inescapable#what do you do with it?#i want to beg the men around me to give me their adoration their approval their love#not only that but i also want to pretend i don't care#i'm torn#i don't want to care#but that's part of it#that's part of the role they want from me#i was forced to sign a contract the second they announced i was a girl#an act / a performance for the rest of my life#i truly cannot escape#i have a boyfriend#but i must play a role for him too#who does he want me to be?#bc that's different to the role i play for teachers / co-workers / parents / friends / strangers / brother's friends / friend's brothers#do you want me to be flirty / kind / sexy / smart / desperate / funny / clueless / happy / unbothered / unaware / sad / yours?#“i want you to be yourself.” he says#i repeat my question#“i am whoever you would like me to be”#margaret atwood#poets#poetry#feminism
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