#a bit too much its okay

[starsnscales]

I never use this tumblr account for anything but I really just wanted to post a really really long thought here.

I am autistic! This is relevant to what I'm talking about I promise.

I have a really heard time socializing with people, it's a problem. I haven't had much social interaction outside of family for over 5 years. I have very little interest in socializing, but have a very deep yearning to make friends. I have been shunned, misunderstood, and bullied by people for years for being "different". Due to this, I formed a large attachment to animals at a really young age. Dogs, cats, birds, fish, etc. I have pets and I love them dearly... But for some reason, the deepest connection I have with any type of animal are fish.

Fish are one of my special interests, but so are dogs! I feel connected to fish on a very weird emotional and mental level. They make me calm. I used to have 2 goldfish and I would sit and talk to them for hours when my boyfriend wasn't home. When I would get dissociated, I would sit beside the tank and just watch them swim. It made me feel better. Unfortunately, the goldfish recently passed away due to health issues from recent incidents that heavily impacted their health. Hurricane Helene left our water, power, and gas supply low for ages. I wasn't able to get more supplies to help them out, but they were fighters. I went and checked on them a few days ago and they passed away. I was so devastated. I had those fish for 3+ years. I wasn't devastated just because I love them though; I lost a part of myself when they died too. I cried for hours, it was the worst cry I have had in years. I still look at the empty tank and get upset.

But a part of me feels missing now that they're gone. Maybe it is the lack in routine I had with them. Maybe it was the deep routed connection I had with them. I'm not sure. Their little tank was a sense of comfort for me, they were a comfort for me. Bubba and Bug were their names (One was a Fantail Goldfish and the other was a Black Moore Goldfish, I'll put little pictures here at the end). My boyfriend wants cats, I want a black and orange one to name Bubba and Bug. I wouldn't find the same love or personal connection to them though, so it would just be a somber reminder of their death.

My family says I loved them too much; I spent too much time with the fish rather than people. These fish never made fun of me though. They never laughed at me, never made fun of my appearance, never made me feel alone. Unlike the people that are supposed to love me, they seemingly enjoyed my company. They would swim around when I talked to them, would follow my finger when I would drag it across the tank when talking. They were good friends.

I've always loved aquariums too. The fish are always beautiful, I feel so at peace despite the noise when I'm there. I get overwhelmed easily, but I could stare at just the coral and drown everything out. All my worries melt away. It's just me and the fish.

I want to sleep under an aquarium one day. Or to have a large tank in my room to give the effect of such.

Maybe it's because I'm autistic and I enjoy the fact that these creatures are easily understood. A simple routine. I cannot speak to them, but regardless they find happiness in my presence. The feeling is mutual. I take care of them physically, they (unintentionally) take care of me emotionally and mentally.

Bug was the black moore and Bubba was the fantail.

My favorite aquatic animals of all time are:

Cory Catfish (especially the Albino ones, I had 6 named the Sex Pistols after the band and JJBA. There are six but of course it went 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 7!)

Peacock Mantis Shrimp! So coloful.

Neocaridina Shrimp! Super colorful and super cute.

Crabs! All crabs honestly but especially the Horseshoe Crab (I have a Squishable of one ^^).

Glow Ringed Octo! I love all bioluminescent critters.

Angel Fish! So elegant.

Many, many more but I will spare you the rambling.

If you read this, thank you, like genuinely. It means a lot. Feel free to leave your thoughts! It's nice to see if people relate. ^^

[bacchuschucklefuck]

soon it'll be dawn again

transcript under the cut ⏬

page 01

Fig: no way? - you're still up?

Riz: Wh– yes?

Riz: Why'd I not be.

page 02

Fig: I me~~ean - that took.

Fig: whole day.

Riz: Yeah?

Fig: 'm beat.

Riz: you should sleep.

page 03

Fig: nah. my guy's still up

Fig: I wanna hang out.

page 04

Riz: That's really nice.

Fig: Hah! - Nobody ever expects an Archdevil rockstar to be nice.

Riz: … yeah. - 's just budget work tho. (the stuff I'm working on) - I've heard it's boring.

page 05

Fig: yeah, but you do it…

Riz: It keeps things going, right? - Nothing happens if nobody sits down and - does the thing.

Fig: That's right… - though. Yeah.

page 06

Fig: sometimes it's someone else who - doesn't want the same thing to happen.

Riz: … - mm.

page 07

Riz (off screen): …It took me a long time to get that not everyone likes doing what I do. - 's probably because you guys are so nice– - or. - kind.

Riz (off screen): to anyone too, not just. - the people you /love/.

page 08

Riz: that's not how it is elsewhere. - The world's– not. hostile. - but 's not like it's kind.

Riz: So I'm doing as much as I can now… 

page 09

Fig: Hey.

Riz: ?

Fig: Go dig some dirt with me.

page 10

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - oh you meant like - actual dirt. (not incriminating information)

Fig: o yea.

Fig: there's clay in the backyard soil. - sometimes when I'm sun deficient or something I go touch dirt for a bit.

page 11

Fig: here u go

page 12

Riz: uh

Fig: now we make a thing! - 'm pretty good at freehanding a bowl.

Fig: I'll show u

page 13

Fig: just– yep, flatten that out as evenly as u can, then–! - actually ur nails'd be so good at cutting out the strip. [larger than usual space] wait. - wait. wait u can carve patterns with them! we HAVE to try

Riz: uh - What. do I carve?

Fig: anything!!!

page 14

Fig: and– yep just seal the inside uh. seam?

Fig: yep that works - okay time's up! all contestant hands up

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - okay - wh. what's next?

Fig: haha - watch this.

(sound effect text): FWOO—MP

page 15

Riz: WH– DON'T JUST DO THAT???

Fig: Now it's fired!

Riz: THAT WAS NOT SAFE

Fig: (actually it's just dry. if u add water rn it'll dissolve)

Fig: ok catch!

Riz: [blank speech bubble] - careful!!

Fig: dw no need haha

page 16

Riz (thought bubble): oh - it's warm…

Fig: now I want you to throw this.

page 17

Fig: u gotta do it - c'mon

page 18

Riz: wh– - It's like 3AM right now

Fig: oh it's not /fired/ fired it's not gonna make a loud noise

Riz: And then just? leave a pile out here?

Fig: pour water over it & it'll be gone I told u

Riz: but

page 19

Fig (off screen): RIz.

page 20

Fig: I've done all this before.

Fig: Can you trust that at least?

page 21

Riz: no, I– - I do. - I trust you.

page 23

Riz: okay what happens now

(sound effect text): glob

page 24

Fig: we do it again!

page 25

Riz: wh. [larger than usual space] What do you mean. (this clay's too wet also)

Fig: see! you're already learning

Fig: [blank speech bubble] - there are flows that are futile to fight. - The world changes.

Fig: Things change.

page 26

Fig: I've learned my lessons with "forevers". - But - as an artist

Fig: I can give you one thing: - You can always do it again.

page 27

Fig: most of everything depends on the rest of the world, - but this. - making new. - that's yours as long as you want it.

page 28

Fig: So?

page 29

Riz: Yeah. - Yeah! - let's make another one.

[poofpoofpurin]

how can you look at me like that

[deadtiredghost]

the only reason Tim Drake and Damian Wayne don't get along is because if they did the writers wouldn't be able to come up with a plot contrived enough for them to struggle with.

they would be the ultimate team if they could just work smoothly together.

but they cant so balance is restored to the world i guess.

[ruporas]

can’t talk about it

[ID: Black and white comic of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The comic starts with the sounds "thud, thud, click". Vash, mid-action of peeling an apple, turns to the sound, noticing who it was that entered, and says, "Oh, Wolfwood, you're back." He resumes back to his apple in the next panel as he speaks, "Where'd you go? You snuck out of bed quickly this morning..." Wolfwood's hand then enters the panel, hovering over Vash's cheek and Vash looks up as Wolfwood asks, "Can I?" Vash responds, "Not going to talk about it?" while using a hand to gently hold Wolfwood's hovering hand and presses a kiss to his inner palm.

Vash then gets up fully, setting down the knife down on the table and the apple onto a plate, He leans into Wolfwood as Wolfwood explains, "Had to meet someone. Nothing interesting to talk about." Vash kisses Wolfwood's left cheek and a hand moves to cup his other cheek while muttering, "You're being vague." Wolfwood says neutrally, "If yer really that curious, keep askin'. We  can talk about that instead of doing this." Vash leans back and responds, "Let's talk after, since... You look so tired."

The panel pans to a close up of Wolfwood's downcast eyes, bags heavy underneath his eyes. He doesn't allow Vash to sit in that moment for long though, then saying, "Yer not helping, Spikey. Being all slow with it... I could fall asleep right now." He moves his hand to start unclasping Vash's coat, starting from his collar. Vash with red cheeks, responds briskly, "Oh, shut up. I'm worried about you. I can't be worried?"

The final shot shows Wolfwood's back to the viewer while Vash's softened expression can be seen as he holds gently onto the side of Wolfwood's face and a hand firm on his waist. Wolfwood responds, "I'm fine, seriously," pausing for a moment before continuing, "Is it okay to still..?" Vash responds, "Yeah, it's okay."

The next image is a shot from later that night after the previous comic. Vash and Wolfwood are now in bed, half naked. Wolfwood's buries his face into Vash's chest, his arms wrapped around him, while Vash is petting at his hair. Vash reminds him, "Hey. You said we'd talk about it." Wolfwood pauses for a moment before piping up, "In the morning? I'm sleepy." Vash says, "Okay..."

The next two pages start from the morning after. Wolfwood is already fully awake, pulling on his outer jacket as he says to Vash, whos' still bundled in his blankets, "Breakfast is on the table. Make sure to eat it. I'm going to grab some things in town and then we're leavin'. Got it?" Vash says, "Mh." Wolfwood responds, "Good. See ya in a bit." The dialogue starts to shift into Vash's inner thoughts now, as he gets up and eats toast, thinking, "Wait. Weren't we supposed to... talk about it?" The next shot then shows him fully up, meeting Wolfwood in town. He carries a half worried expression with him while Wolfwood slides on his glasses for him. A quick panel shows Wolfwood's tired expression from the night before and quickly juxtaposes with Wolfwood in front of him who's smiling gently, the shades covering his eye bags. Wolfwood asks him, "Still not awake yet?" Vash pauses, his thoughts stirring, thinking, "Oh. I guess I was getting ahead of myself... thinking you owe me that kind of honesty." He smiles at Wolfwood and responds, "I'm awake!" His thoughts continue, "Maybe one day, you'd trust me enough to share your burdens."

The final image shows Wolfwood pulling at Vash's cheek and Vash complains, "Owwwww why..." Wolfwood quickly says, "You were thinking something stupid, right? It's all over yer face." Vash mutters, "Nooo, I wasn't..." END ID]

[mossy-paws]

Get in the fucking biograft, Shuriken. (EVANGELION/PHIGHTING!)

(og screenshot’s/cover under text!) Why hello there to my tumblr followers, it’s been a awhile /silly

ANYWAYS!!! Guess who recently finished the EVA franchise minus the rebuilds and has been in a horrible chokehold over it, this anime ruined my life but hey at least its intro theme is nice……

Well, I wanted to draw some stuff for it! All together these pieces took exactly 48 hours and 20 minutes… with the cover-piece taking ~35(?) of those hours. These were… very, VERY time costly safe to say LOL,,, I am super, SUPER proud of how the cover came out though, everything on it was drawn, colored, rendered, edited, whatever, BY HAND stroke by stroke (as you can see below)

The text, the lineart, the shadows, the colors, the snowflakes on the bio and Shuri, EVERYTHING was done by hand, it was horribly time costly but it did come out very, VERY well in the end I would say (fun fact! I also didn’t originally have the textless version of the cover, and I had to trace all of the lineart for bio’s tophalf by just guessing what line when where and what the hell was going on /silly)

this was a very, very hard project to do all together, but it was also a really nice learning experience too, I’m happy i did it that’s for sure :3!

(og screenies + cover)

[sideblogdotjpeg]

ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally

(+ cropped versions !)

[dizzybevvie]

You're the sunflower/I think your love would be too much

[the-art-of-sanshoku]

Tokucember Day 13: AU or OC

My Kuuga school shoujo romcom

Prompt List and Prev Days

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

[icewindandboringhorror]

A little costume with eyebrow whiskers again.. making their return lol..

[good-beansdraws]

The shovel is still tossed away in the house somewhere, but he doesn’t want it. He digs with his hands, swift but careful, reverent of what lies beneath. The soft earth crumbles easily under his fingers. Soon enough, the skull is staring up at him, its empty eye sockets a strange echo of Python’s own.

From @luce-speaks 's incredible ghost au fic, Laid to Rest ! There were so many moments I wanted to draw, but this one really stuck in my brain and I wanted to bring it to life (pun intended)

other versions

[frameconfessions]

Valkyr Prime No Forma Queen Steel Path Circuit Armor Strip Deluxe Build AKA Can We Get Much Higher

There's room for improvement (like adding forma and maxxing out the other arcane), but I don't feel like it right now.

Here's the Valkyr Prime mods & arcanes setup. Use Terrify (Nekros helminth) over ability 3 for armor strip ability. Use these archon shards to get the 100% armor strip too and good energy economy. Feel free to ask about any of these mod or build choices, this build is from like 2 years ago that one of my partners helped me set up and still going strong. Delusion helmet and Gersemi skin for appearance.

Prime Talons mod setup. Blast damage is the current meta as of December 2024 so you can see the original before Damage whatever number update point 0 we're at now compared to the original build.

Equip Naramon, it's extremely important for power scaling and end-game level damage.

Fully ranked up Power Spike is the only focus school stuff you need, but having the waybounds unbound is always good for operator/drifter survival, combat, and movement.

Manage your energy economy by getting parazon finisher kills on eximus units if you start running low, just edge the health bars until you see the prompt and your energy will shoot up to almost max if not max. More than half the time arcane energize should kick in and give you a boost on top of the archon shard energy boost (not sure if the effects of the shards and energize multiply/stack or not as I'm not a build math gal but it feels like it does).

Here you go @issilya and anyone else wanting a no forma Valkyr Prime that scales well into higher levels.

[aroaceleovaldez]

i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies

BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...

[cent-scratchnsniff]

reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots

[asurrogateblog]

The Syd Poll

the topic of this poll is one that is frequently avoided in the pink floyd fandom, but inevitably one we all consider – our individual views on what we think caused syd's psychological struggles (and by extension, led to his departure from the band). I think that – at least in this neighborhood of tumblr – this is a conversation we are capable of having in a way that is civil, nuanced, and at least minimally disrespectful to syd.

So, to help facilitate this, here are some ground rules:

let's all assume we have a mutual understanding of the complexities of this. syd could never actually be reduced down to a poll, and all of our viewpoints are limited in various ways

the poll options just serve as just a conversation starter, and responses are not necessarily a statement of absolute beliefs

feel free to discuss as much or as little of your own perspective as you feel comfortable sharing.

in the case that debates break out, please try to assume good intent – and also demonstrate it (unless, for instance, someone is being blatantly insulting beyond a misunderstanding that needs correcting)

please do NOT vote if you are not actually a pink floyd fan with at least basic knowledge about what we're talking about here.

The options I've included below are not meant to be exhaustive, they are simply the "theories" that I have seen most commonly circulated. I have also decided not to include combinations. I'm fairly sure we'd all agree multiple factors were involved. Rather than make the poll too complicated, I ask you to instead select the one that you think is the "most" important to your viewpoint, and clarify further in your tags/comments as you wish.

so. here we go.

READ BEFORE VOTING ^^^^

(note of correction: "late-onset schizophrenia" should just be "schizophrenia". the typical timeline for onset of symptoms is late adolescence/early adulthood, so syd would've been well within that period at the time)