#Zosan angst

[leventart-den]

Never let go.

[shlieut]

“we accept the love we think we deserve”

[thecaffeinatedcryptid]

Sometimes you see/hear something and your brain just. Will not stop thinking about it. This is one of those times.

Please enjoy this attempt to scratch a fairly violent itch.

[thegrinningdemon]

Fear

(To be continued)

[fishontumble]

Sanji cooks. He cooks and he buys more food to cook more. That’s his job on the Straw Hats. His meals dictate life and death on the open sea- he dictates life and death on the open sea.

Everyone on board respects this, and trusts their lives in Sanji’s delicate hands. After all, he’d rather lose his legs than let anyone starve on his account.

However, there’s one man he needs to go above and beyond to keep alive.

Lately, Sanji has been having recurring nightmares of Zoro sacrificing himself. Sometimes it’s a replay of his memories of Zoro refusing to explain why he was standing in a pool of his own blood, and other times it was new scenarios of him jumping in front of a stray arrow or giving himself up to the enemy. The worst part is even when he’s awake he knows Zoro absolutely would die in order to ensure the safety of anyone on the crew.

And so, Sanji tries to entice Zoro into wanting to stay alive longer.

“I bet I can come out of this fight with less cuts than you, mosshead. Unlike you, I know how to defend myself,” he challenges Zoro while fighting a fleet of marines. Everyone rolls their eyes at the ignition of another challenge between the two. However, Zoro was much more meticulous in protecting himself to prove he could come out unscathed.

“If you don’t make it back to the ship before me, that just proves that you’re just a directionless idiot,” he mocks, as everyone is fleeing a wild beast they encountered. Zoro scowls as he sheathes his swords and starts running ahead of Sanji. Of course, he got lost and was the last to the ship, but he returned without fighting the beast alone.

Sanji was running out of “challenges” that hid his true intentions. He couldn’t let Zoro out of sight, but he refused to let Zoro know that he worried about him more than anyone else, because at the end of the day, he’s the most probable to stay behind in a fight out of sight to save everyone but himself.

One night while chopping up vegetables and prepping some meals, his mind began wandering into dangerous territory. What if Zoro was in fact looking for a place to die? Maybe he promised to be Luffy’s wings until they both achieved their dreams, but what about afterwards? What if he was just testing the waters to see what kind of death suited him the best? Sanji felt sick.

The door swung opened and Sanji almost jumped out of his skin.

He turned and almost breathless, he said, “Zoro.”

Zoro stood at the doorway, a mocking comment at the tip of his tongue, but he realized that the look on Sanji’s face wasn’t one to make fun of. The cook was genuinely distressed about something. He just didn’t know it was about him.

Sanji took a breath and looked back at his knife. “Came for more alcohol?”

Zoro took a seat at the table and said, “No, I’m hungry. Make me something.”

Sanji clicked his tongue, “Not even a please, huh?” But regardless, he made some onigiri.

Sanji made some tea to go with it, and poured a cup for himself as well to find a reason to sit down with Zoro. The creaking of the planks as the boat rocked back and forth kept the room from being too silent.

Sanji figured this was the time, since nobody was around.

“When I die…” “What?” “Just listen!”

Zoro scowled but remained silent.

Sanji looked down at his hands on the table and continued, “When I die, I’d prefer to die either by old age or in battle.”

He looked up at Zoro, bashful now, “And I need someone around who can kill me in battle, if I can’t grow old.”

Zoro sighed and took a bite of his onigiri. While chewing, he chuckled, “Is this what your sulky attitude has been about? Yeah, I’ll kill you if you’re still alive by the time you turn fifty.”

“Fif- that’s not even that old!” Sanji screamed, shocked by Zoro’s nonchalant attitude.

Zoro shook his head, “Fine. Sixty.”

Sanji shook his head in disbelief, “Are you joking around right now? You know what? Never mind, I never should have brought this up.”

He stood up abruptly, and Zoro grabbed his wrist. He was leaning over the table uncomfortably, so Sanji took his seat again, and so did Zoro. He let go of Sanji’s wrist, the one not looking him in the eye this time.

“I’m sorry. I promise I won’t die before we grow old. I know what your little competitions have been about, and I know I shouldn’t be worrying you when we all have our-“

Sanji snapped, “I want to worry Zoro! I just don’t want you dead! How can I worry about a dead person? I want to be able to wake up every morning forever and think of new recipes that you might like and go to bed every night knowing your stomach is full!”

Sanji buried his head into his hands, embarrassed. He realized how he sounded, and that was probably why Zoro was staying silent.

“Cook- no, Sanji. Look at me.”

Sanji slowly moved his hands away, and met eyes with Zoro who had never looked so red before.

Zoro spoke much more seriously, “I already promised you. That I won’t die before you. That I’ll live.”

Sanji lowered his eyes and nodded, not wanting Zoro to see the tears. That’s what he wanted to hear all this time.

[3zkana]

Seeking out your eyes, and only yours.

Zoro who doesn’t get it, and Sanji who kinda does but is having a hard time accepting it

[romanxeisdeadbutimnot]

Angsty zosan wip

[invizz]

OKAY, SO!! @ jaywuzhere on twitter had this great idea for a ship insert and @ sanjiluvbot (on twitter as well) had the perfect vision of zoro when he meets germa/emotionless sanji!! i really had to draw this 🥹 but since i am indecisive and i really like both scenarios.. here you go!!

[ikraglrr]

too late...

[theretr0skeleton]

Evil sanji comic? Hehe

[fluetytooty]

he likes a girl… i’m not a girl.

[leventart-den]

I think that's it.

[deuces-sunglasses]

part one/ part two

Zoro had fucked up.

Hearing their front door get slammed shut that morning was a reminder of this.

What was it that Nami had told him? “Never go to bed angry”? Zoro wasn’t angry at Sanji. He was angry at himself. He wasn’t good with words like Sanji was.

He fumbled around for his phone, finding it between the couch cushions. Aggressively trying to turn it on only made the dead battery symbol appear.

Zoro turned his head and eyed his broken charger. With a groan, he threw the device back down.

After a quick change and a search for his wallet, Zoro headed out to execute his plan to make up for being an idiot boyfriend.

•••

It had been a long day. He had spent most of it at the gym, training angrily. With no phone and therefore no contact with Sanji, he finally was standing outside his home at 6:30pm.

The swordsman knocked eagerly and waited. And waited. And waited.

Sanji finally opened the door. Zoro took the opportunity to admire him. Pinkish face. Red wine bottle in hand. Shirt unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up.

He was promptly dragged inside by the shirt and pushed against the door. One long leg raised to entrap him.

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“You’re crying.”

Sanji stepped back and frowned. He set the bottle down. He clenched his teeth as he always did when he was upset.

”You left your phone here. Is that why you’re late? Did you get lost on your way ho- back? What- what were you doing all day?”

“I got us something.”

“You can’t be bothered to fight with me properly so you have to apologise with gifts?”

“No. No! Just look.” Zoro said as he took it out of his bag.

“What the fuck is that?”

Zoro grinned like a cat. That was his Sanji back, alright.

“It’s a two-person shirt. Two head holes.”

Sanji scoffed loudly.

Zoro stepped forward, “I didn’t mean to call you…clingy. I’m stupid. I don’t want to push you away. I want you beside me, always. Uh…. With this we can stay impossibly close.”

There was a long pause. Sanji let his insecurities wash away from his mind.

“You’re an idiot, moss-head.” The blond raised his arms and the other instantly stepped into them, letting his head rest on Sanji’s shoulder.

”I don’t think i’m in the mood to cook that big dinner i promised.”

Zoro’s arms wrapped around his waist, “That’s alright. It can wait. Maybe i can help make it tomorrow, we could wear the new shirt eh?”

“Hell no.”

Zoro chuckled. They parted and made for the bedroom to change/ have some fun…

“Shit!”

“What now?” Sanji asked amusedly, eyeing his boyfriends shoulders.

“I forgot to get a new charger.”

[viktorclawthorne]

Nothing happened

[an-au-blog]

Fine. Here's some Zosan angst... but it's mostly just pining...

Zoro and Sanji drink together sometimes but Sanji can't hold his alcohol as well as Zoro so he got tipsy. They started talking about their life and feelings-sharing turned into making out turned into a one night stand.

When they woke up Sanji didn't remember any of it. But he felt something was off with Zoro. He was being weird.

Zoro tried implying they spent a beautiful night together but Sanji didn't get the hint and spat a slur.

From then on they started fighting more and more. Zoro still hopes to see the Sanji from that night, so he keeps dripping and offering Sanji to join him but the more he offered the more distance Sanji put between them and the more disgusted looks he gave him.

At some point, while wandering about, Zoro stumbles upon Pedro confessing to Sanji. He thought Sanji would lash out on him like he does to Zoro, but he turned him down in the sweetest way possible and even gave him a kiss on the cheek as an apology.

And to add insult to injury, Sanji told him it was because he loved another. "Even if he can't love me back." It was a he.

So it wasn't that Sanji didn't like men. It wasn't even that he hated gay people. He just hated Zoro specifically. So he just walked away before someone could look for him.

Neither of them saw Zoro and he did his best to stay that way.

He started avoiding the cook. There was no reason for him to see him. They would just fight and he didn't have the energy for that.

He still couldn't help but notice little things about the man he pined after. When he wore a new outfit, when he trimmed his hair, when he hummed a tune and which ones were his favorite. Something new he noticed: Sanji payed every crew member compliments, even the men on occasion, everyone other than him.

Zoro would stop loving him if he could. But his greatest virtue and his fatal flaw would always be his loyalty.

[fishontumble]

Someone probably said this already but imagine Sanji has scars on the back of his head from the iron muzzle. It probably sat so uncomfortably on his head, grating his scalp every time he turned his neck. Imagine the dried blood stuck to his hair that took hours to massage out. His hair has grown over to cover those scars, but one day when Zoro finally kisses Sanji, he feels the bumps and unevenness as he pulls Sanji deeper into their kiss. Sanji’s excuse is that he bumped his head when he was little at the Baratie and to not worry about it. But no matter how hard he tries to bury his past, the physical scars will always be there to remind him of his mental ones.