#ZeonThoughts

[ze0n-wuz-here]

Am I the only one who…

Like- come on

[ze0n-wuz-here]

Will probably need this later thx!

Rise Characterizations

Last month I did an in-depth re-watch of rottmnt s1 to take some notes on writing the characters of rise from their perspective and such. Figured I'd share what I found, but I'm also posting this bc my docs have a nasty habit of blipping out of existence.

We'll start with Raph bc he's the oldest of course, but I'll post the others sep. bc this is gonna get long!!

Raph Character Notes

Language Habits:

Catchphrases: "like a boss", "smash"

Verbalizes his attacks such as "smash", "knuckle sandwich", "power smash jitsu", "tonfa power jitsu", "mystic punch jitsu"

Uses older song titles for surprised exclamations or in place of cursing, most notably "jumping jack flash!"

Uses aave/bae, For example: 'em instead of them, 'ey instead of they, 'cause instead of because, forgoes the g in ing words (going becomes goin')

Uses less and less grammar the more he's stressed, and his voice will come to a higher pitch

Will speak in a softer tone to his little brothers if he's concerned about hurting their feelings. Aka babying them

Mixes up both metaphors and idioms. Would be one to say how the turn tables unironically

Does say "hero" a lot, lost count, especially in phrases like "hero town"

Refers to his brothers as "boys" or "fellas"

Refers to Splinter as "pop(s)" most often

Refers to strangers he's directly talking to as "bubs" or "hoss"

Personality:

Protective of his family

Plays up the hero act/has a strong sense of duty and justice

Impatient, rushes in without a plan (pre-movie), doesn't finish books until the end, falls asleep during "boring movies"

Oblivious, doesn't read into things beyond surface level. Struggles with empathy when something is beyond his understanding, but is still very emotional

Center of responsibility for his brothers, but also has a reckless sense of fun. As long as it's him doing the stupid unsafe thing it's fine

Carries the weight, in a literal sense he piggy backs his brothers, but will also use his body as a shield from danger. Unfortunately this also means he takes his brothers a little less seriously (Mikey the most common victim), and will try and either protect them from everything or as an oldest sibling everything has go "his way"

Doesn't do well in solitude. Needs to be looking after people to feel functional, and needs to be around people to feel safe

Clumsy, "takes horrible pictures", isn't very good at hiding, he's a big guy so it probably took a lot of time to find balance

A sweet guy who still won't shy from making fun of his family. Leo tends to be the brunt of his teasing since he is the most annoying, but he will also poke Donnie on his dramatics

Likes cute things!!! Has a teddy bear collection and loves animals. It's so cool how this isn't played off as a joke and he's still just as masculine for liking pink and cutesy stuff

Likes fighting!!! Gets a lot of energy out defeating bad guys (where he directs his anger towards), the one who is shown to train the most, and also weight lifts in his spare time

Doesn't do well under pressure, here the anger comes out the most. He gets stressed when it's all on him, especially since he tends to mess up the most in these moments

Miscellaneous:

Second to unlock mystic powers

Nicknames/codenames: "raph-a-doodle" by leo, "red rover" by april, "red king" by donnie

Teddy bear names: Doctor Huggenstein, Captain Snuggles, Cheech

Stinks: fear stink, amazement stink, sneaking up on people stink, victory stink

Seems to be less afraid of rabbits and more afraid of puppets

Went on his first solo mission at 13

Cannot lift a bus, at age 15

Thought about discussing fighting style, but I'm not as familiar with that concept and I've seen a couple posts dissecting such topic. So we'll end here for now. Hope this was helpful!!! I'll post the rest of the boys later and link here

Leo is up!!

Donnie is up!!

Mikey is up!!

Splinter is up!!

April is up!!

[thenameszeon]

Just a reminder to anyone who sees this blog

I have moved blogs! Its not cookie run and i may not post often but it'd be so much better if you still went to that blog instead anyway

[ze0n-wuz-here]

I think I have officially lost it [VENT]

So. This is another vent post about my experiences when it comes to ROTTMNT. Now, of course, it’s my favorite show, I love it dearly, but what happened after the show, you know, those events? That fucked me up bad. Really bad. Specially when it comes to stuff relating to Raph. Lately I’ve seen a decrease in art of him that I can safely look at where he is safe and completely unharmed of those events, and even as I tried to quit, I just came back to it, like some drug, it’s hard to get rid of something I love

I wanna desperately talk to a therapist about it but, again, that’ll require talking to my mom, which she’ll find stupid. I wanna make a discord server where we talk about the show and the show ONLY (I mean- other topics too, just with the events after the show banned) but that can’t happen, that’d be too strict. I constantly stalk Tumblr to see if any safe art of Raph was uploaded, only to find out, no! It hasn’t. I have blocked so many people because of this, people who don’t deserve getting blocked. I feel like this anxiety over him is eating me alive, destroying my mental health, and even stepping out isn’t enough.

I’ve come so desperate where im actively looking to see if anyone is taking free art requests, and I’ve never done that, only just recently, and I feel like shit about it, because im that desperate to see Raph depicted in a certain way, it’s unhealthy. I’ve become like one of those people you’d see have long 42min documentaries about where they’re obsessed over a character and then do awful shit. I have never gone to that extend, but I feel like I might end up like that. I wanna find help. But im too scared for helplines, I can’t afford or find therapists, counselors will snitch on me, and im tired of being a burden and talking to my friends about this. My only hope right now is just talking to AIs like ChatGPT or talking to Raph bots on c.ai and vent about this. It’s so childish. It’s so stupid. I hate myself for it

I have been having major art block thanks to my mental health being shit, so drawing him isn’t an option either. I’ve lost sleep because of this. This is not healthy, and half of me regrets finding ROTTMNT because I feel like I would’ve been in a far better place now. This isn’t hate to any artists drawing Raph in a way that’s depicting him after those events, not at all, this is a me thing. I’ve tried hobbies, didn’t work, I’ve tried other communities, didn’t work. I don’t know I just hope I can be cured of this some day cause right now, I feel absolutely shattered, over something so stupid. These events ruined the show for me, and I feel so dumb, so stupid about feeling so attached to a fictional character to feel such levels of anxiety when depicted in certain ways. It’s horrible. I’m sorry

[ze0n-wuz-here]

Heya! The name’s Zeon. Welcome to my blog!

This was drawn for the art club lol

Uh will update tomorrow, rn it’s 2am 💀

[ze0n-wuz-here]

Lazy ass meme

Was this an excuse to talk about Chesnaught? Yes

[ze0n-wuz-here]

I read your post about Raph and I wanted to wish the best for you. I myself have some triggers that I see as completely irrational and I feel terrible because I have to shut out people who haven't done anything wrong. It feels like nothing helps and all I've been able to learn is how to distance myself from it even though I wish it didn't even bother me in the first place. I was thinking that maybe you could ask some of the artists you like to tag for depictions of those events that bother you so that you can block that tag (give an example of a tag like "#Raph post S2" or something). Some may not listen or forget over time but I think it's worth a shot. Just a suggestion. I get feeling afraid to ask for these kinds of things too.

If you're ever able to, I think it'd be good to talk with a therapist. Not all therapists are understanding but if you can find a good one, it's nice to just be able to let those feelings out.

Honestly thank you for this

It sucks living with these triggers cause it made me mute a discord server I’m in where I met many of my friends, since they like to talk about post S2 a lot, and it made me scared to check the art that they post cause I’ve had some triggers, some less bad than others, but again, I don’t blame them cause they did nothing wrong, just talking and making art of the show like a regular fan of the show would

I have made some attempts at blocking some of the tags, though some art does slip through, which… yeah… oof. I have made some progress and unblocked many artists (and…. Maybe some of those bots in the progress…. Oof.)

I could try asking them to tag some posts as POST S2 or stuff like that, specially when drawing Raph in “that” specific way, im just sort of anxious when going through people’s DMs or Ask box unless it’s a super big artist that gets a lot of asks every day or a mutual that started an ask blog or stuff like that. Tho, I’ll try going anon (tho some blogs don’t let you go anon so there’s that too oof….)

I do wanna go to therapy, but how do I explain my mom “Mom, I really wanna go to therapy because I keep having anxiety attacks over a big fictional turtle” even convincing her to go to therapy just because is very hard cause she always wants a reason… also the price.

I just started school, so I could try to find a counselor to help me with this problem (tho I think I’ll rather wait a week or two cuz I don’t wanna be here starting school like “Ahhhh… first day of school… welp! Time for my counselor appointment!”)

I have had some friends help me identify wether some art of Raph is safe to look at by giving them a link and stuff, and to them I say, thank you so so SO much for your help. It was tiring dealing with all of it by myself and they helped me avoid certain potentially triggering art, so, again, thank you.)

I’ll try to find as much help as I can, since this isn’t the first time I get like this over a fictional character, tho that time was only cause the fandom was really bad and now it’s dead so I didn’t engage with it that much

Thank you again for giving me tips to overcome this, stay safe

[ze0n-wuz-here]

U A Furry? :3

Uh

What are you talking about-

[ze0n-wuz-here]

bites you /pos bye

/pos

[ze0n-wuz-here]

💫⭐️Space⭐️💫

It’s so beautiful

The elegance

The story of why

🌌🌟I love space 🌟🌌

ArtFight Team: Stardust🌌✨

[ze0n-wuz-here]

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[ze0n-wuz-here]

I think its getting worse now [VENT TW]

So. This is less related to what I've been dealing with when it comes to stuff like- art and stuff of Raph from, well, after those events. This is more about a new character who's already making me feel a similar way: Pure Vanilla Cookie

If anyone in here has seen the full story of the newest update, you will know that PV at the end.... well... I won't give spoilers, but similar to how Raph and some other character i used to like have gone through something, Pure Vanilla is next in that roster. I was never attached to Pure Vanilla; sure he was cute, but when it came to ancients Golden Cheese was always my #1. Now with this update, I get a small pain in my chest whenever i see art or screenshots of PV... after that update. I remember the first time I was already feeling that way with Raph when i saw what had happened to him. I swore to myself "i will not get attached to him, otherwise it'll send me down another spiral of anxiety" and guess what? Not only did i become attached, I became OBSESSED with him, to the point it was even worse than with the previous character. CRK used to be a bit of a safe space, since there wasn't any character i really cared about that had gone through something like that... (except maybe Dark Choco, but we knew him like that since the start so it's not AS bad.) but, yet again, maybe i should've just seen it coming, with the faeries update and the trailer, hell even the fan aus, it should've given me an idea of what was gonna happen to him. I fear that i will end up obsessed over him like how i am with Raph. Doesn't help that a huge chunk of my feed and my subscriptions are related to CRK, and of that update... so that's nice.... /s, I'm just glad this update didn't happen to my favorite cookie, otherwise then.... oof...

It's not so bad now, but its starting to be. Its like a snowball. My only two safe spaces left right now are Animal Jam and Pokemon, I have yet to attend therapy, and it seems i might have to wait longer to talk to a counselor due to the likelihood of classes being taken online due to the weather. It sucks living like this

[ze0n-wuz-here]

TW: VENT ART

My sona fucking dying (not graphic, but still)

HEARTACHE

My lungs hurt

[ze0n-wuz-here]

TW: VENT ART + BRIGHT COLORS

TEXTLESS VERSION

[ze0n-wuz-here]

Boo

*pets u*

scurries back into my hole

[ze0n-wuz-here]

EATS. YOUR. ART.

it looks so edible GRAAAAAAGGHH-

GAAHHHHHHHHH GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE MEAL!!!!!