#Your tags on my piece of Tiny encouraged me to share this haha

[bonefydskeleton]

I’m really enamored with @luubyart’s entire cast of characters, but Neo and the baby deathclaw duo stole my heart last year during Art Fight! Never trust a baby deathclaw in the teething stage with your boots

[justkindaoverhereobsessing]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus​

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3 

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha. 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee​. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time—but especially on her birthday. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life. 

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine. 

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into. 

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.* 

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do. 

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her. 

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out. 

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too. 

15. Year word count: 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

[thesunnyshow]

EPISODE 4: MILLY

Writing Blog URL(s): @bumblebeenct 

Name: Milly

Age: 18

Nationality: Welsh

Languages: English

Star Sign: Capricorn

MBTI: ISFP-T

What fandom(s) do you write for?

 I write for NCT, but I have written for Harry Potter in the past

When did you post your first piece?

Around the empathy era I’m pretty sure, 2018? I used to do moodboards only but I was inspired by other writers to give it a go

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

I find that I stick to the fluff/angst tropes because they’re easier to formulate because I can relate myself to the scenario more. I also find that its also more interesting to write angst because there's complications to a story that take longer to form and you have to really think about the different emotions the characters are feeling.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

I write x reader mostly, but at some point in the future I’m thinking of writing an OC purely because the concept I want to focus on has a particular emphasis on name and I don’t think it would work with y/n

Why did you start writing on Tumblr?

I used to use Wattpad but it was very difficult to promote myself and I struggled to meet anyone through it. On tumblr it was much easier to orientate and the community was so much nicer. 

What inspires you to write?

My mutuals! And other writers on tumblr, everyone is so supportive and kind it’s amazing. Also the feedback I sometimes get from readers, it makes me really happy whenever I get a comment or someone interacts with a piece I enjoyed writing, or alternatively when someone supports a fic I wasn’t confident in as it really boosts my confidence :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

School/ College aus because they’re very familiar and I am confident in getting the tropes and ideas right. But I also like works inspired by movies or songs because there’s so much to work from and it’s nice to see where you can take the plot and lyrics in your own story.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

That writing is for everyone, honestly at the end of the day I’m just a kid in my room writing stories about artists I’m a really big fan of. If you want to write you can, and you don’t have to necessarily be a “big” blog or writer to do it. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

Take a break, that’s my first port of call - usually in the method of food or I look at the inspiration material again, I listen to the song, read the lyrics, consult my friends and mutuals for help. It’s always good to be able to put something down to start again later when you’re struck with inspiration

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

My favourite personally at the moment (since one I really like is currently, as of answering this question, unpublished) is ‘Remember Me’ purely because it was the work I was the most passionate about writing and it really let me explore a new field of writing, since a lot of my stuff had been fluff before. My most successful in terms of notes is my Mark one shot ‘Sugar and Spice’ and I’m very proud of it.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

Park Jisung, my ult bias, I have to convince myself to write for other members sometimes as I often resist the urge to be a Jisung blog. However I have been enjoying writing for Mark and Hendery recently, as my other NCT biases

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

To a certain extent yes, it really depends on the writer. For many fanfiction stories, including ones we may label “cliche” the only difference is who it’s about, there are countless amazing fics I’ve read which I would assume could be made into a novel, the only thing making it fanfiction being the characters themselves.

What do you think makes a good story?

Feeling! There’s nothing that really constitutes a “good story” as it’s all subjective, but if you can read a story and feel what the characters feel, or even just see the emotions the writer is trying to portray then it’s definitely a good story. I’ve cried while reading most of, if not all my favourite stories.

What is your writing process like?

I plan first in a little notebook so I don’t forget any of my ideas or plans and then I try to churn it out whenever I have access to my computer, my speaker and a comfortable blanket. I like to “get in the zone” and then write as much as I possibly can. I usually think of ideas as I write so the notebook helps me put them in order and make sure I don’t get too ahead of myself.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

I have thought about it and honestly, I’m not sure. My fics are not series’ and they’re all very short - most of them under 4k so I’d have to turn the idea into a full length thing you know? But I have thought about doing the opposite with a very old original story of mine I’ve otherwise given up on but still holds a special place in my heart.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I am a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope mainly because the character development in these stories can be so much more interesting and complex. On the other hand I’m not fond of “yandere” type fics, however I have read several well written ones which I cannot speak against because they were actually really good.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

I’d say a lot, in terms of how much I write feedback means a lot to me - it’s also nice to hear what people think of things you’ve written because it’s a different view from your own and sometimes can boost confidence. I am also open to constructive criticism if any writers have any tips or suggestions for future works I’m always open to listen. 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

When I see anyone interacting with my work it’s really rewarding and I love when people reblog with custom tags because it lets me know that people actually like what I do and to me, that’s a success.

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite food: Pasta

Favorite movie: Heathers (1988)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookie Dough

Favorite animal:  I would say bees, but I don’t think that counts so I’ll say dogs

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?

Coffee, either black or a really fancy one with frothy milk

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)

 I’d love to be a singer honestly, but at the moment I’m working towards education I hope one day to be a lecturer

Go-to karaoke song

 Best Part by Daniel Caesar or Escape (the pina colada song) by Robert Holmes because it’s funny

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?

 Stopping time because there’s so much you can do - except the question is, would I continue to age even if time has stopped?

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?

My mind goes to two extremes, I think either ancient Greece because why not and the 1950’s purely for fashion and music.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?

No, but I think if I could restart specific moments I would. There are so many good moments but some things you don’t want to relive even if you can change the outcome.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?

100 chicken sized horses, I’d be terrified of a horse sized chicken it would probably be able to eat me and I’m not about that life, tiny horses I can deal with. Kill them with Kindness or whatever haha.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?

A mix of quiet teachers pet and loud side character friend. The duality kills me, I can be shouting with my friends one minute but whispering the minute the teacher asks me a question.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?

I’d like to, I think some are really cool and it would be amazing to live among them, but also some are dangerous, but I would love to see or meet some creatures. Imagine living with dragons man that would be epic.

What are some of your favorite hobbies and how did you get into them?

I really like reading, courtesy of Harry Potter, but I also enjoy singing and playing the piano which I started doing more often in secondary school when my piano teacher suggested I started to sing as well :)

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

I did Karate for about 10/11 years, and I’m a black belt *insert awkward smile here*

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

A lot of the time yes, there is a stigma around fanfiction and often paints us in a negative light but we just happen to be a community of creative fans who want to share and support the people we write about. But I can see where the stigma comes from, sometimes it can be taken a bit far and I am aware that some things make the artists themselves uncomfortable. I think if people who judge fanfiction are referring to it as a single idea it becomes unfair because it is all different, but I also think that writers of fanfiction themselves have to make sure they don’t cross any boundaries when writing that could make readers or the artist (if they ever happened to stumble across your work) uncomfortable.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Yes in some ways of course. Art is not only a way to express what the creator themselves is feeling but it is also a way to teach others about issues, prejudices and ideals. For literature specifically it allows you into the shoes of another person you may not have understood before, in art pieces there’s a clear message and encourages people to educate themselves on certain issues which in turn makes room for change.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Sometimes if i’ve been suggested or requested to write something because it isn’t an idea that comes for me but mainly if I am aware that someone is waiting for a fic or someone has said they’re anticipating it I feel like I’m writing for others, but I don’t particularly mind it because it almost encourages me to write to a better standard.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

Not particularly, I'm often as clear as I can be when portraying meaning, or I will straight up say it in a different thread or to different people because I can’t keep secrets and I’m a sucker for a spoiler. Although I am constantly worried about the way I come off in messages and things like that - I am a terrible overthinker.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

A few of my closest friends and other kpop stans I am friends with irl are aware of my blog and support me as much as they can with what little information I give them. I think only one of my irls has my url because she reads and I send her my binge reviews when I do them.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

Thank you so much, honestly it’s cheesy but without them I don’t know where my blog would be. The amount of them surprises me everyday and I don’t think I believe it half the time. Also if anyone ever needs help or support or just wants a chat I’m open, its 100% likely that if you interact with me or my posts on the regular then I will recognise you when you come say hi, I’m not that scary I promise.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Just do it! It’s better to get your stuff out there and circulating to get a better idea of what people like and where your strong suit is, the more you put out the more you grow. But if you’re scared, talk to other creators, we’re always open to help and we can let you know what to do, it was something that helped me out :)

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

When I first started there was a lot of struggle with me trying to figure out my style and what I wanted to do, and it was a learning curve of what can I do, what should I avoid and who am I doing this for. Sometimes when I’m really down I will question why I do it, but I never regret it because it has allowed me to make some wonderful friends and be exposed to some amazing creations and get more into something I’ve always liked doing, writing.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

I don’t want this to be too long, but I feel like it could be. I’ve met so many wonderful people and I love all of them so much, but in terms of being formative and supportive these are some of the people I talk to the most. @renjunwrites - I am a huge fan of Denise and to even be able to be in conversation with her about the stuff she writes is mindblowing to me, @nanasarea - nana was one of the first people I spoke to (before I joined discord) and was really accepting of my antics from day one. @glossyjaems - me and Louna have become very close recently and I can’t wait for our project to launch, keep an eye out for that. @mjlkau Anie is really one of the biggest supporters I have, always willing to read what I send her and give me support and love. There’s so many more people I’d love to mention but this would go on forever, to anyone ever involved in my writing process I’m thinking of you as I write this and I love you all (I feel really bad not talking about every single one omg).

Ending thoughts:

“We’ll be alright, I want to try again” - Try Again d.ear (ft. Jaehyun) because this is something I hold close, ‘try again, we’ll all be alright in the end’

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.

[starlitsummermoon]

Harr X MC - Unveil Me (NSFW)

I’ve been thirsty for Harr lately. Tagging @iluvsexyvoltageguys​ since she shares my thirst for Harr haha

I could still feel his heat on my lips as I explored downtown Cradle with Fenrir and Seth, something about treating ourselves to some well-deserved goodies. The two took turns wrapping their arms around my shoulders, ushering me along the streets, stopping at every other shop to inspect their unique goods, but my mind was elsewhere.

The image of his hands feeling the curves of my back and thighs kept flashing into my mind, gooseflesh rising in absence of his touch. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip each time I remembered the way he suckled it each time he pulled away from our passionate kisses. Even though it was just last night, my body was aching for his, to feel it against me once more.

“Hellooo? Anyone home?”

With a sudden jolt, I snapped back to reality with both my escorts peering into my face; one annoyed and one overly concerned.

“Alice, what’s gotten into you?!” Seth nearly shrieked.

“Yeah, you’ve been zoned out nearly this entire time,” Fenrir scoffed, scratching his chin. “Is everything okay, Manami?” I could feel the cold sweat running down the side of my face. No one in the Black Army was aware of my relationship with Harr and now wasn’t exactly what I would call the right time.

“Of course not!” I tried to laugh it off, but they could both feel the tension emitting from my expression. “I’m just a little… distracted.”

“Distracted? By what?” Fenrir took a quick second to glance at our surroundings before locking eyes with me. “We’re out so we could all get a distraction from work.”

“I know,” lowering my gaze, I began to fiddle with my fingers. Even now, I could almost feel Harr’s hot breath against my earlobe, wishing to hear him softly call out my name. “It’s just that—”

“Are you not enjoying our company, Alice?” Seth asked, tears nearly pouring from his eyes as his lip quivered like a sad puppy as he clasped my hands in between his.

‘No, that’s not it.’ I can’t say that to them. ‘It’s just not your company I want right now.’ Definitely can’t say that.

“That’s a silly thing to say, Seth,” I giggled, feeling my face relax into a soft smile, easing the tension between all of us. “I guess I’m not just in the mood for sweets right now, that’s all.”

“I KNOW!” Seth leapt slightly into the air, nearly taking me with him. “Let’s go get you a new dress!” My eyes gaped with panic, but I managed to keep my smile on my face. I’m sure my expression came off as psychotic, wide, panicked eyes with a small, innocent smile, as I tried to quickly come up with an escape plan. Turning to Fenrir for help, he just shrugged in defeat.

“It’s not exactly what I was expecting,” he smirked, “but it’s only fair. We’ve been dragging you around all morning, we should do something you want to do.”  I was so speechless at his inability to hear my silent screams that I wasn’t able to retort before Seth was leading us down to the nearest dress shop.

Dress after dress, Seth and Fenrir whistled and applauded at every one I came out in. It was sweet and encouraging, but none of these dresses were what I was looking for… but, what was I looking for? Still feeling heated from my memories of last night, perhaps I was looking for a dress a bit more…

“This one,” I pulled out a cute little black dress out from one of the racks in the back while Seth was still gawking in a different section of the shop. I didn’t have a good chance to look at it, so I quickly grabbed the blue dress next to it and tucked it under my arm, hoping the guys wouldn’t notice.

“That’s a cute one,” Fenrir commented, appearing just around the corner. I jumped a little, clutching to my two dresses hoping that he only saw the one. “The blue one ya got, it’s cute. You should try it on.”

I was safe..

Shoving me back into the changing room with an armload of gaudy dresses, Seth insisted I show him and Fenrir each and every piece. I agreed to get them out of my hair, but I wasn’t about to show them my little black dress, my little secret.

Finally able to hold it up and inspect it, it was exactly what I was looking for. The straps and the skirt had a slight ruffle to them and the material seemed to have a subtle sparkle to it. Could fabric in Cradle be fused with magic? I wasn’t sure, but I was planning on asking Harr for the next time I see him, I want to be wearing this dress. Just for the two of us, like a little secret.

I held the dress to my chest, feeling my hear pounding from the very thought of being with him again, feeling his lips and his touch again.

At last, I was entering my bedroom back at the Black Army headquarters just before they were about to serve dinner. After what felt like an eternity, I collapsed onto my bed with large bags adorning my arms. The boys were sweet enough to buy all the dresses I chose, which I actually found a few to my liking. I did feel a little guilty for sneaking in the black dress, the only one they didn’t even know about. One day I’ll repay them.

Now I need to see him. I need to see Harr. Something in my heart told me he was thinking of me, as well. Shuffling my bags into my closet, I pulled out my new dress and carefully displayed it on top my bedding, planning to change into immediately after dinner, then opened up a box I kept hidden underneath my bed, pulling out a drawstring bag.

Inside the bag were these little lavender-colored magic crystals. Pulling one out, I closed my fingers around it tightly as I stuffed the bag and box back into their hiding places. Approaching my window, I opened it, feeling the warm late-summer breeze brushing my skin. Opening my fist, I glanced down at the shard, glowing so brightly, it outshone the sun. Clasping my hands around it, I hid the light as I held it close to my beating heart.

Focusing all of my energy into the crystal from my hands, the image of Harr’s face appeared in my mind once again. His cool grey eye locking my gaze with his captivating smile melting me to pieces. It almost felt real and I wanted to reach out and place my hand on his face, but I had to resist the urge, otherwise the spell wouldn’t work. I could feel hot energy forming in my hands as I whispered, “Please, Harr, I want to see you tonight.”

The second the final word slipped from my lips, the energy cooled. Carefully opening my hands, a tiny little crystal hummingbird fluttered out of them. I smiled at it before it swiftly took off into the forest. All that was left to do was wait until after dinner, and hopefully my message was heard.

Dinner lasted a little longer than I was expecting it to, and the after dinner drinking party was tempting me to stay, but I gave them the excuse that I was worn out for being out all day. That alone was amusing as everyone started giving Seth and Fenrir a hard time for wearing me out. Smiling as I left the dining hall, it wasn’t easy pushing down the guilt. It was practically me lying to my family to go see my secret boyfriend.

Locking my bedroom door behind me, I quickly changed into my new dress. Not wanting to overdo it, I passed all the jewelry that would’ve matched perfectly, which also saved me some time. Brushing my hair out, I took a few seconds to model in the mirror. Before I could even gather an opinion for myself, I heard a small tap at my window. Skipping across my room, I opened my curtains to see the tiny crystal hummingbird tapping at the glass. Smiling from ear to ear, I eagerly opened my window. The sudden gust fluttered my curtains, when they settled down, Harr appeared.

He smiled the instant his eyes found me. The hummingbird disappeared with a flash, followed by the window and curtains closing. I did my best to resist leaping into his arms, instead I returned his sweet smile with my own, my cheeks burning scarlet.

“Hello, Manami,” the wizard’s suave voice was hot chocolate during a blizzard, and his gaze was the large fluffy blanket wrapping itself around me during said storm. Every day with him was even more special, and after last night, I finally feel like our love is progressing in a more lustful direction. “A little bird told me you wanted to see me tonight.”

“Yeah,” my voice was hoarse and I coyly looked away from him. Even though Harr had given me those crystals to call for him whenever I wanted to see him, I always felt really embarrassed whenever I did. Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I turned my face away from him, but kept my eyes locked with his. “Is tonight a good night?”

“I can’t say no to you,” he chuckled. It was true, he had told me that if, for whatever reason, he could not answer the crystal I sent to him, he would not appear. I assumed that meant it would be too dangerous for me to see him. There has yet to be day that it’s happened, for he always came for me when I sent for him, but I also didn’t use the crystals that much. They were supposed to be used for extreme cases, but if I felt like this, even though this was the first I desired him so much, I always beckoned him to retrieve me.

Holding out his hand to me, I reached out to take it, preparing myself for teleportation. The instant his fingers wrapped around mine, he pulled me forward, closing the gap between us just before the warm light enveloped us.

As the bright light disappeared, I found my self deep within the forest, shrouded by the cover of night, in front his house. Still pressing myself against him, I looked up at him, my eyes pleading for him to come closer.

“Are we—,” my soft voice was cut off, still bewildered that I was seeing this man so soon, as it was normally a few days in between visits, “are we, you know…” I felt so selfish asking if Loki was out because I wanted Harr all to myself for the entire night, no interruptions this time.

With a gentle finger placed underneath my chin, he tilted my face up to his and placed a kiss on my lips. The hand I had placed against his chest clenched, his cloak blocking me from feeling more of him.

“I sent Loki away for a rigorous task,” his whisper nearly shattered me to pieces as I felt his arm wrapping around my waist, “We should be completely alone until morning at the earliest.” Relaxing in his hold, his words settled any worry as he placed another kiss upon my lips.

I was certain now that he had been thinking of me since last night. He had brought me to his room, both of us now sitting on the edge of his bed exchanging sweet kisses that grew heavier with each breath. My hands explored his now bare shoulders, no longer shielded by his thick cloak. His skin felt like silk beneath my palms as my fingertips explored the firm muscles of upper back.

Like he was handling fragile glass, he lowered me down, hovering above me and never breaking our kiss. His tongue slid against my bottom lip, asking to be let in. I didn’t hesitate to greet him, our tongues vigorously slow dancing together. The rough kisses forced moans from my throat, enticing him even more as I felt his large hand slid up my thigh and slipping underneath my skirt.

“If I knew you were going to get a new dress just for me, I would’ve set out candles,” his jest was slipped into my ear by his husky voice, locking it inside with a sneaky nibble on my ear. My body rose up to press against his, my hips meeting his as I felt his thumb massage me through my cotton panties.

“I was worried,” I purred, soaking up the intoxicating feeling of his lips and tongue traveling down my neck from my ear, “that after last night, you would’ve given up on this, but I wanted to show you that I wanted it, too.”

Then, I felt both of his knees on either side of my hips, the very sensation sending sparks down to my core, now throbbing with heat. My pelvis jolted up into his each time his thumb, which had slipped beneath my cotton fabric, applied pressure to my slick nub. His teeth had pulled down the front of my dress, revealing my breasts to him for the first time. I didn’t have time to react self-consciously, his tongue was already swirling around my erect nipple. With his tongue and thumb spoiling me with pleasure, my body writhed beneath him, pushing me close to the edge of my peak.

“We’ve gone over this before,” his hot breath cooling my saliva soaked nipple, “I have no intention of letting you go, and my desire for you is great, but I don’t want to rush into anything you’re not prepared for… but now, now that I’ve had a taste, I find it hard to resist— aaah!”

I reached down and grasped the rock hard bulge pressing against my inner thigh. He needed to know that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way! The desire, the taste, everything! I felt it, too, but all I could do was mewl and moan from his touch.

With all the movement, the skirt of my dress was now up to my stomach. The rustling of fabric mixed with symphony of our heavy breathing and sensual moaning, it was difficult to know how my panties came off and ended up on the floor, but they did. His hand didn’t want me to lonely, so it found it’s way back to my center, his fingers spreading my slippery petals apart.

Leaving my breasts, his face met mine again, his eye molten with desire as his tongue flicked the tip of mine before enchanting me with another slow dance. His thumb still rubbing my nub, I was distracted from the movement of his hips and the sound of more fabric as hot pleasure nearly took me, but then it stopped abruptly, as did our dance.

He gazed into my eyes, so close to me I thought I was drowning. Confused, I was about to ask why he had stopped. Then, my back arched and my head tossed back into the mattress as far as it could go as I felt his rock hard member fill me. He was taking his time, keeping me guessing on how far in he intended to go. My moans were loud enough to reach Cradle, so Harr found my lips again to muffle my cries of pleasure.

Finally, he stopped, his breathing heavy with pleasure as I felt his body tremble against mine, his manhood throbbing inside my volcanic heat, waiting for him to continue. Mentally, I begged him to continue. I never realized how much I wanted this, how much I wanted Harr to claim me. The reality of my feelings truly set when I felt him pull out, only to thrust back into me again. I was instantly addicted. If it hadn’t been for his lips and tongue occupying mine, I’m sure my cries would concern the animals of the entire forest.

My fingers dug into his back, clawing at the piece of clothing still attached to him as he relentlessly thrust into me, deeper and deeper. Unable to contain his own moans, he released my lips and nearly howled out in pleasure, which now became too much for me.

“H—Harr!” I cried out, digging my fingers into his back as my body became electrified with pleasure and my overbearing heat buried him at my core, bringing him down with me. The last few slams of his pelvis into mine while I was still experiencing my orgasm were sheer delight before he released himself deep within me.

Now that we had settle down, I was able to completely remove my dress, now soiled with sweat and juices, and feel the cool night air against my clammy back. Harr also removed what was left of his drenched clothing, which I didn’t know until later was only his shirt. I never questioned how he removed his other clothes without me noticing, it didn’t matter.

Lying next to him on my stomach, he traced his fingers across my back, helping me cool down along with the breeze from his open window, his eye traveling all over my body.

“I’m sorry if our experience felt a little rushed,” Harr mumbled, “I intended all that to me more, well, romantic, and I—”

“Shh,” I placed my finger against his lips, smiling, “that was plenty romantic in my book.” A comforting grin graced his face as he pulled me into his arms and held me until dawn’s light.

Saying goodbye was always the hardest part when he returned me to my bedroom back in Cradle at the Black Army headquarters. Someday, I hope I can ease in the conversation about us, but it had to be the right time, and not just with the Black Army, but for Harr, too.

Changing into fresh clothes and lots of perfume, I examined my neck in the mirror. Using my long hair, I was able to hide most of the marks left from our tryst, the rest…. I was still trying to come up with an excuse for.

[avengerofyourheart]

Leave This Town Pt 12 (Mechanic!Bucky AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Tony Stark, Steve, others mentioned. 

Summary: After leaving the small town life behind, you’ve worked hard to make your dreams come true. When something unexpected brings you home, you’re brought back to the place where everything changed. Timing is everything and now there just might be a second chance with the man you left behind.

Song Inspiration: Angela by The Lumineers

Warnings: Tiny bit of angst, mostly fluff.

Word Count: 3.6k

Tags are at bottom (TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY)

**This fic is for @bionic-buckyb ‘s 5K AU Writing Challenge**

A/N: Whoo, boy, you guys. It was a little odd writing Steve and Bucky meeting. Even as an AU. haha. :D Hope you like their interaction, though! I really thought this would be the end, but surprise! An epilogue is coming. I do love a good epilogue. Hope you do, too! And I also hope you like this part! Please let me know your thoughts!! All feedback is welcome. I love you guys. 

<<<Part 11   Part 12   Epilogue (End)>>>

Leave This Town Masterlist

Full Masterlist

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Previously:

Your eyes flew wide and within seconds, you discovered the man’s perfectly styled dirty-blond hair and a pair of bright blue eyes met yours from across the room. He smiled and raised a hand in greeting before making his way toward you.

“Is that Steve Rogers?” Bucky asked with a tone of admiration in his voice. “Looks like he’s headed this way. Are you two close friends?”

“Um…” you hesitated, watching Steve’s progress across the room as he continued to shake hands and greet people along the way. “About that. There’s something I should probably tell you…”

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“What is it?”

You shifted nervously, glancing at the approaching Steve before returning your gaze to Bucky. “Remember how I was seeing someone and broke it off just before I came back into town?” you asked quietly, then hesitating.

“Uh...I guess so, why…” Bucky began, then pausing as the light came on and his eyes grew wide. “You and…he…you were dating Steve Rogers before me?” he hissed at a whisper.

You nodded slowly. “Yes.”

“But he’s…I…how could you not tell me?” he replied, a look of hurt passing over his features.

“I’m sorry, but at what point do you mention that your last boyfriend was literally a famous movie star? Would you have responded any differently, even back then?” you asked as he chewed on his lip in consideration.

“Maybe not…”

“Look,” you began, looping your arms around Bucky’s waist and leaning close, “the point is, I chose you. Okay? I broke up with him before I left L.A., not knowing if there was still a chance for us. I hoped, but either way I still chose you even if I wasn’t sure you would feel the same. I want you. Only you.”

Bucky finally met your gaze and took a deep breath, then nodding. “Okay.”

You exhaled in relief. “Okay. I love you.”

He let out half a smile and pulled you closer. “I love you, too,” Bucky declared, then pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before resting his forehead against yours a short moment.

You released your grip on him and turned around just in time to see Steve merely feet away, his million dollar smile on full display. He wore an expertly cut tuxedo over his muscular frame, his hair perfectly quaffed and chiseled jaw clean-shaven. Eyeing the two of you, Steve offered a soft gaze and came to a stop before you.

“Y/N, it’s so good to see you,” he grinned, leaning forward for a light hug and kiss on the cheek.

“Hi, Steve. It’s been a while. Great to see you, too,” you replied, then returning your focus to Bucky, who was fidgeting with his tie. “Steve Rogers, this is Bucky Barnes, my boyfriend. Bucky, this is Steve Rogers,” you spoke, gesturing between the two men as Steve offered his hand.

“Wow, so this is the infamous Bucky?” Steve asked as Bucky accepted his hand and gave it a shake, the brunet seeming a bit starstruck. “I’m really glad that things worked out for you two. It’s nice to finally meet you, Bucky,” the blond finished with a nod.

Bucky took a moment to respond, “Um…I, uh…it’s really great to meet you, Mr. Rogers. I’m a big fan,” he finally replied with a nervous smile.

“Please, just Steve is fine. And I’m a big fan of yours. I hear you were a big influence on Y/N’s work. I guess it was all meant to be, then, huh?” he smiled at you with a wink.

Bucky looked your way in confusion, but you just grinned at him and mouthed the words “You’ll see”.

Steve opened his mouth to speak again, but was interrupted when his name was called by a gorgeous brunette with kind eyes, painted lips, and soft curls just past her shoulder. “Steve, darling, can you come here a moment?” she called out in a posh British accent.

“I’ll be right there,” he replied to her before turning back to you.

Your eyes flew wide, then speaking in a whisper. “Is that Margaret Carter? You did one of your first films with her, right? I didn’t know you were still in touch…wait…Peggy?” you asked with an excited grin as the pieces fell together in your mind.

Steve ducked his head as he nodded slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yup. Some things just take a little bit more time, right?” he shrugged.

“I’m really happy for you,” you told Steve sincerely, holding his gaze.

“Thank you, Y/N. I’m happy for you, too. It was great to meet you, Bucky. I better get back,” he said to you both with a raise of his hand before he walked back to his date.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” you asked, turning back toward Bucky whose gaze was still off in the distance. “Buck?”

“He was so nice and…normal,” Bucky replied, still in awe. “And he knew about me? How?”

You slipped your hand back into his and gave it a squeeze. “I told him the truth about why I wanted to break up before I left town and shared the story of how you and I met. He could tell there was still something there, for me at least, and he even encouraged me to find out if there was a true possibility for us. He really is a good man. Just not the man for me,” you ended, brushing a hand across Bucky’s stubbled cheek. He grasped it and pressed a kiss to your palm before releasing it.

“I guess I have him to thank, then?” he asked with a shake of his head. “Wow. I met Steve Rogers,” he grinned.

Letting out a burst of laughter, you pulled Bucky further into the room and introduced him to a few more people before the doors to the theater opened and everyone filed in to take their seats. You grasped Bucky’s hand as the opening credits began to roll. Now it was your turn to be nervous. You had seen some rough cuts and spent a few days on set, but this was the big production. The moment of truth where you found out if all the pieces came together just as you had hoped.

The first scene opened with a girl pulling an empty bag from the closet and stuffing it with clothes in a hurry. The sound of a zipper closing and she’s down the stairs, feeling her way toward the door in the dark before she stepped out into the cricket-filled air. Adding the bag to her already packed car, she gave one last look at the dark house before climbing into the driver’s seat and starting the engine.

The scene then cut to the car racing down the highway as voiceover was heard of the girl reading a note that is shown left behind on her bed. Her mother would find it in the morning, explaining how she was finally leaving town how she always wanted to and that she just had to chase her dreams. Next the camera panned up from the road, showing steam rising out from underneath the hood of her car which was parked on the dusty shoulder. The girl was spotted sitting on the car’s trunk while the sun rose behind her.

As a tow truck appeared on the horizon on screen, you felt Bucky grip your thigh and you glanced his way to see a teary smile upon his face. You felt happy tears threatening as well, pulling Bucky down by his tie for a kiss before you both settled in to watch a fictionalized version of your love story play out on the screen.

You wrote the screenplay almost a year ago and had changed names to protect the innocent, but anyone who was there would know that it was you and Bucky. The two leads were unknowns, their previous works including commercials and supporting roles on tv shows. Thankfully, they had great chemistry and portrayed their parts exceptionally well. Some of those acting as townspeople were more well-known and were able to help draw attention to the film.

Even though parts of the script were cut during editing and different inflection was used for dialogue, it gave you chills to hear not only the words you wrote but the words you also had spoken yourself. It wasn’t exact, but close, especially during the fight in the hotel room. You still felt a flash of shame that you had acted so selfishly back then. Bucky slipped an arm around you and pressed a kiss to your temple, bringing a smile to your face.

Apologies were shared at the fictional auto shop and tears were shed, which then lead to the scene you were most anxious about. You had debated whether or not to include the car sex scene, but in the end decided it was crucial to their story arc and an important part of the eventual goodbye. A different type of classic car was used, as you had written, but the scene was emotional and tasteful. It still brought some heat to your face, though, as you conjured memories from that moment years ago.

She was back on the road then, wind whipping through her hair until she decided to pull over to the side and got out of the car. The girl stood in the middle of the abandoned road, looked one direction, and then the other with a look of indecision upon her face. She got back into her car and glanced at the map spread across the passenger’s seat before digging through her purse for her phone.

The last shot showed a wide smile upon her face followed by her thumb hovering over the green call button and then the screen went black. Credits began to roll and the sound of applause was heard as you finally came back to the present. You took a deep breath, blinking a few times before you registered that Bucky was speaking to you.

“It’s…it’s amazing, doll. Wow. And you said romance wasn’t your forte,” he grinned, giving you a tight squeeze as much as the theater seats would allow.

Chuckling thickly, you sniffled and met his eye. “Well, I had the right kind of inspiration,” you admitted, brushing a finger under your eye to remove any black smudges from your tears. It had been an emotional experience to witness this particular project come to fruition. “Truthfully, I was a little nervous about how you would react to my using our story for a film.”

“Really? I admit, I was surprised and I’d be more apprehensive if it was exactly the same, but you tweaked it just enough. I loved it. Brought up wonderful memories of that time,” he said with a smile. “So…what happens to the girl?” he asked in a low voice as people continued to mill around and leave the theater.

You shrugged with a smile. “I’m not sure. I left that open to the audience and honestly, I didn’t even know when I wrote it.”

“You wrote it before we—“

“Yup. I had just finished the script a few weeks before I came back into town. I was actually supposed to be working on a different project, but something kept nudging me to finish the one story that I couldn’t leave alone. Inspiration is a fickle thing, so I just let it flow. You were never far from my mind that whole time we were apart,” you confessed, placing a hand on Bucky’s thigh.

He stood then, pulling you up as well before wrapping his arms around your waist. “I think those two kids can make it,” he said knowingly, then pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your lips.

“I hope so,” you whispered as you broke apart.

His brow furrowed then. “Wait…so how did Steve Rogers know I was inspiration for this film?” Bucky inquired.

“Tony mentioned that Steve was sent the script when they were looking for the leads, but casting ultimately decided to go with unknowns, which I’m actually grateful for. He must have seen my name as the writer and connected the dots with what I had told him about you and me,” you answered with a shrug.

“Huh,” he replied quizzically. “He said he was a fan of mine. I’m not gonna get over that,” he declared with stars in his eyes.

You laughed as Bucky led you out the double doors and into the foyer that was packed with people, many of whom were now vying for your attention.

“We don’t have to stay, Buck. It’s okay,” you stated with a soft hand against his chest.

Bucky just shook his head and hugged you tight before releasing you. “This is your night. You deserve recognition. Like you said, it’s a celebration. For you,” he smiled, joining in the applause that had erupted around you.

You brought a hand up to your face in mild embarrassment, finding yourself the center of attention. Tony came to your side and said he “never doubted you for a minute about the ending”, to which you rolled your eyes but thanked him. The two young stars said hello to you along with the producers and director. Some time had passed before you looked around to see that Bucky was standing off to the side with a drink in his hand. He gave you a smile and a thumbs up to say that he was okay, so you turned back to the conversation.

Thirty minutes later, you came to Bucky’s side and stole a drink from his glass. “I’m ready to go,” you declared.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I overheard that director wanting to talk to you about another future project. That’s great, Y/N. You should go for it,” he encouraged you.

“Not tonight. I have their contact info and they have mine. The talk can wait. I’m all talked out,” you confessed, pulling Bucky into a hug and tucking your head under his chin. “I’m ready to go home.”

Bucky rubbed a hand against your back and sighed. “Okay. Let’s call the chauffeur guy.”

“I already texted him. He’ll be here in five,” you said with a yawn. The adrenaline had kept you going most of the night, but it now began to dissipate.

“Okay, then,” he chuckled.

A few last goodbyes and you two slipped out the back entrance and into the car where you collapsed into your seat. The city lights streaked past through the tinted windows making you drowsy, and in no time, you were awakened by Bucky. He helped you up the walk to your condo and you slipped off your heels first thing, carefully setting them in the box provided by the wardrobe team.

Reaching for the zipper on our dress, you found it difficult to manage so you turned to ask Bucky for help only to see him standing in the dining room near the floor to ceiling windows that looked out over the city. He had his back to you as you approached. Coming to his side, you saw that he had loosened his tie and undone the top buttons of his shirt. You opened your mouth to speak but thought against it upon seeing his faraway expression.

He stood with hands buried in his suit pockets, his gorgeous profile on full display from your vantage point as he began to speak.

“So, this is your life now. Kinda hard to compete,” he said with a sad smile, then looking your way.

“No, this,” you began, gesturing to the elaborate wardrobes and jewels around your neck, “this is not my normal life. The fancy dresses and parties, that happens maybe twice a year and I’m always glad to get it over with by the end of the night. And there’s no competition, Bucky. It’s not small town life versus big city life. I don’t want you to think that I’m asking you to choose, either. L.A. has offered me wonderful opportunities and connections, but it still doesn’t feel like home. Not without you,” you said, gathering both of his hands in yours.

Bucky glanced down at your joined hands and replied softly, “So what does it all mean for us? You are so incredibly talented, Y/N. You deserve this life and you fit in here. I could never forgive myself if I became the reason you walked away.”

You shook your head firmly. “That’s exactly what I’m saying, why does it have to be one or the other? I go months on end where I barely leave the house, so technically, I can work wherever there’s WiFi. You have that now, right?” you asked with a coy smile.

He chuckled. “As I recall, it was installed without my knowledge, but yeah. It’s there. So, what…you’d stay with me for part of the year?”

You cocked your head with a shrug. “If you’ll have me. You’d get to see me in full-immersion-crazy-writer-mode. That’d be fun,” you grinned.

Bucky threw his head back in laughter. “I can’t wait. And I’ll take you any way I can get you. I love you, Y/N,” he confessed, using a finger under your chin to tilt your head up.

“I love you, too, Bucky. So much,” you replied with a slight crack in your voice, then clearing it. “I know it still seems hard, but we can make it happen. There will be compromises and struggles, but every relationship has those. I know you talked about meeting me half-way, but relationships aren’t 50/50. It’s about two people who try to give 100% every single day. We choose each other every day without fail. Sometimes one has to be willing to carry a little more of the weight, but as long as we’re on the same path headed in the same direction with goals in common, we can do it. Are you with me?” you asked, touching your forehead to his.

He let out a sniffle followed by a chuckle. “God, you’re amazing. And once again, very convincing with your fancy words. Yes, I am with you. And for the record, I chose you, too, all those years ago. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew it had to be you,” he stated, pressing his lips to yours that quickly escalated into a passionate kiss that was headed for more, but you were now hindered by those fancy clothes.

Chest heaving, you pulled away reluctantly. “Okay, so we gotta get out of these designer threads so we can shower off the goop in our hair and feel more human before we can get down and dirty,” you proposed with a wiggle of your eyebrows.

He laughed at that and agreed with a nod as he followed you into the living room where you stripped off the expensive clothing and packed it away carefully. You really didn’t want to have to pay full price for any of that. Racing up the stairs only in your underthings, Bucky was right behind you heading for the shower.

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You woke up chilly the next morning, pulling the sheet around your bare body before noticing that Bucky wasn’t in sight. The balcony door was wide open, hence the cool breeze, so you slipped out of bed and donned your terrycloth robe before stepping out into the morning sunlight.

The sight before you nearly took your breath away, stopping you in the balcony doorway. The ocean was quite the view, but more notably, Bucky was clad only in those sweats you loved on him, the material tied low on his hips. His torso was bare and his hair wild, giving you the urge to caress every single inch of him. Not that you hadn’t done that already last night.

Glancing back into the room, you spotted evidence of your late night escapades. The down comforter and pillows were strewn about the room along with what little clothing you managed to slip on after a shower. Bucky’s guitar case was open revealing the 6-stringed Flamed Maple acoustic instrument that he had serenaded you with sometime during the night. Once again, he played without a stitch of clothing but this time the song choice was “Rhythm & Blues” by The Head and the Heart, a new favorite of yours. You had practically tackled him after singing that last line of “Won’t you let me turn you on”.  

Snapping back to the present, you turned back toward Bucky and stepped out onto the wooden balcony to wrap your arms around the handsome, muscular man. He broke your grip and pulled you around to face him, wide grin upon his face.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he greeted you with a coffee-flavored kiss. He had a mug in his hand and another resting on the railing for you.

“Mmm. I’d sure call this a good morning,” you replied with a light swat to Bucky’s shapely behind.

He yelped slightly at that, then setting down his mug to retaliate by tickling your sides. You finally cried “uncle” and he released you. Stepping up to the railing, you grasped the mug in both hands while Bucky embraced you from behind. You both stood in comfortable silence for a moment.

“I wouldn’t mind seeing this view more often. With you,” Bucky said with a tone of finality.

Your heart leapt in your throat, hoping that it meant what you thought it did. While you had promised you could work from his home, you had hoped he would be willing to visit you out here more often.

“Yeah?” you replied casually. “Like how often?”

“As often as possible. Every few months, at least,” he stated, then allowing you to turn inside his arms to face him so you could see he was serious.

A wide grin spread across your face. “I’ll take it. 100%?” you asked.

“You and me. 100%,” he replied, sealing the deal with a kiss in the early California sunlight.

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Epilogue (End)>>> 

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EEEeeee!!! Yup. So that was supposed to be the end, but of course I’m too curious about what happens next so I hope you are too. Epilogue will be the end! For sure this time! I’ve so loved writing this story. It’s close to my heart and I appreciate all of you who’ve been on this journey with me. Any feedback is appreciated. I love you all!! 

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[wickednerdery]

Title: Back in the Saddle Author: WickedNerdery Fandom: Dr Strange/Legion/X-Men/Deadpool Pairing/character: OMC/OFC, Wade Wilson Rating: FRM Summary: “…He’d nearly forgotten what a woman felt like…” Notes: This focuses on an OC of mine from my Marvel Universe fanfic, Carey, who’s a mutant….but Deadpool’s also there, haha!  It gets a “Read More” cut because it’s NSFW and a bit long, lol!

After more than two years he’d nearly forgotten what a woman felt like; the soft, smooth, skin with hints of muscle underneath if they were fit like she was. He could taste a mix of cherry balm and vodka on her lips…and smell the mutant in her blood.  Carey breathed her in with every kiss, growled a response to her moans as his tongue did its best to block hers from his teeth.

“Good evening, if you’re just tuning in we have a very special after-hours event featuring Carey ‘Carebear’ Floyd and that hot chick from the bar.”  Wade sipped at the juice box.  “Not for the kiddies…Oh, tops are coming off.”

Her nails left barely-there marks down his chest before he pulled her up against him, kissed harder as his hands moved to her tank.  “Been awhile?” She teased a bit as she nipped his tongue, bit his lower lip.  “Maybe I just can’t control myself around someone so beautiful?” Carey countered with a smile.  She laughed, aided the removal of her top and bra. 

“Let’s take a moment to appreciate the natural fullness of the breasts, shall we?  No silicone for this lady, she’s all natural.”

They walked back towards the bed, stepping out of the rest of their clothes along the way.  She bit, sucked hard, across Carey’s neck and chest; he was careful not to bite hers, though mark it he did.  Tight grip on his hair, she pulled Carey to his knees before her as she settled back onto the bed.

“For the inexperienced or uneducated in the audience, this is called cunnilingus.”  Wade sucked hard on the tiny plastic straw as the woman gave a long, full, cry of arousal.  “And, from the sound of it, Carebear understands it’s importance.”

He caught the floods of her in his mouth, savored the taste and sucked her clit so she twitched under him.  “Fuck me,” she ordered without breath.  Carey trailed his mouth and body up hers, detoured with kisses and deep inhales of her intoxicating scent.  “Fuck me,” she repeated into his mouth as she took control of his cock.

The straw gurgled, juice box collapsed, in time with Carey’s groan.  “…And we have penetration, folks.  Nice, long, penetration…” Wade tossed the juice box.  “It’d be wrong to start touching myself, wouldn’t it?”

Every thrust was an attempt to go deeper, feel more, as she wrapped herself around him…locked him into her.  They shared huffs of air, grunted like animals, grabbing and clawing at each other.  She bit him again and, this time, Carey bit back.  “AH FUCK!!”  Her nails dug into the back of his neck, head fell back, inviting it.

Carey’s vision changed, he saw a man in rags with a nasty, knowing, smirk tilt his head, raise his hand, and start to shake the earth…

“New Orleans, we have a problem…” Wade sipped from his new juice box.

…Then he was back.  Back in a sleazy motel in New Orleans, back inside of a beautiful woman.  Carey let go of her neck, shifted to hide his bloodied mouth, but she caught and kissed it just the same.  The unflinching acceptance caused Carey to grunt his appreciation as he fucked with renewed vigor.

“…Nice recovery by Hot Chick, she’s a keeper,” Wade noted.

They picked up a harsher pace as Carey gave occasional sucks and licks to her wounded neck.  She moaned when his hand slipped between them, began to shake in his arms.  He had to turn his head, go for the nearby pillow, to keep from tearing at her again.  Muscles tensed, cock swelled, throat growled as Carey attempted to go deeper in orgasm.

“Oh!  A screamer and a squirter…definitely a keeper!”

As her orgasm overwhelmed, her entire being seemed to encourage his to continue.  They soaked each other in arousal; sweating, shivering, together they worked to catch their respective breaths.  Carey removed his hand from her clit while his other went to the bleeding marks on her neck.  “Sorry, ‘bout that,” he huffed, voice soft, guilty. 

“It’ll heal,” she smiled with a playful bite to his lip.  “I’m Emi, by the way.”

“Carey.”

“I know.”

“How?”

Her smile grew.  “I’ve been waiting for you…you and your friend outside.”

Wade’s mouth lay open across his straw.  “Well…shit…”

I swear I had to take short giggle-breaks writing this thanks to Deadpool…I’m hoping it’s still at least kinda sexy though.  Not sure yet how long Emi will be around, but she’s a mutant who can (at least) see into the future to an extent and, because he drank her mutant blood, Carey was also briefly able to…not saying what his quick vision meant though, you’ll find out later lol!  Also, apparently, Carey’s known last name is Floyd.

Main Story: Part 1, Part 2,  Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  

(Ash NSFW Prequel Piece, St Patrick’s Day Prequel, Dusty’s Trauma Extra)

(Both gifs from Google.)

Because they may care: @zoesmama2024 @wadeyourebarelyalive @crazytxgradstudent @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @princesschyanne @thejulietfarciertlove …Wanna be tagged, just lemme know!

[opalmothnightingale]

Dedicated to...

9- 7- 17 - 

I want to dedicate this blog, this time..  The way I wanted to before, with other blogs I wrote and tried to do so but this time I think, I might succeed.  I dedicate this blog to all those who I feel I’ve been guided to heal or help.  And to piece by piece give the things that heal, that I think might help them.  This is like my little alchemist’s chamber, filled with potions to share.  

But here I don’t have to worry because it’s not anywhere but my own space.  A space that can be what it wants to be, where I can give all the things I want to give with no feeling like it’s unwanted, perhaps...  Awkward, too depressive,... 

Too dark,...  Nor, too light...  

As I tend to fit neither in with the light and bright people nor with the depressive ones, not bright nor dark enough,...  More grey I guess.  

But in my own space, at my own pace, gobs of excess or slow dripping bits here and there, I can put the things I wish to share.  

Not only with those who I have been guided to heal but also for my daughter, myself and the ones I feel I can heal in the future, as I feel it could be the case I am being guided towards a life of healing others.  Not a career but an important purpose for me, at least.  

And then I also dedicate this space to people with who with one day I would like just to share,... Just to practice, how to be a friend, how to relate to others...  To practice this, like the person practicing being charismatic, before the mirror...  

Haha  

To practice all the many things and ways I’d like to share, without actually having to share, without having to give these things to anyone in particular or in any community or group setting, each with their norms and values that always clash with my own, because again I don’t fit anywhere, not “one of them”, in some way or other, even though with time I think I can find the ways I can smooth it all over, where my graciousness can cover my awkwardness and my things I share can outweigh the things people find to be troublesome and I can learn the graces of life, gradually. 

Parenting is one subject in particular, that I think I’d like to have a lot to say about,...  

Or one day, when I gather my thoughts together, and more like bit by bit,...  

But I think that each time I address a subject that I want to be “dedicated to people who” this or that, I can just make a tag, a tag related to “categories/topic” and the specific topic at hand, “parenting” or whatever it is.  

I like blogs because I often go raid peoples’ riches of knowledge and wisdom and encouragement and inspiration and I get in the zone, on a kick, or so I did..  I would spend hours poring over them, looking at specific subjects...

The good thing about your own blog is that it can be a shoddy or as polished as you please, and you can pour excessive numbers of entries out or dribble out bit by measly bit, as you see fit.  

Sure, you might not get a good readership that way, but if you’re not trying to notice the number of followers,... 

But can coast by even on the slightest possibility that someone might just read it, even if they’re not subscribing,...

Then you don’t have to worry and nor do you have to feel that you’re boring or spamming people, because it’s ever their choice, read or don’t, and it’s only your own blog...  

And in my case, I know this blog is mostly for my own healing anyway, but I am best motivated when I can find a way to intertwine in others’ potential healing, growth and encouragement with my own, even if it’s only theoretically helping others, and maybe only helping me in the reality. 

But even littlest bit by bit of offerings is often a very big thing because the little things are often bigger than they seem and all one can manage to do, especially with certain things, like depression, parenting and other heavy burdensome life subjects.  

Or you might just want a little uplifting, a little brightness or a little self-development, just to make the day brighter and that makes the difference between a bad or a good day, or afternoon or even moment,...  

Every moment matters and they all add up and often the little things are the only things we can find that will be small enough to spare the attention or energy for.  

So here I can post both tiny things and excessive essays and feel fine because it’s all my own blog, my own space entirely, and free from anyone really needing to notice,... 

nor even necessarily knowing if anyone notices,... 

but the slight chance they might, as long as I can let that motivate me to feel less alone...  

In a life where I want so much to share my journey, my coping, thriving and life knowledge, wisdom, and just who I am...  

To feel I matter, my growth and self expression matter.  

I know they matter but it helps to feel like I might be heard, when I so rarely talk to anyone about the deeper feelings and aspirations and fascinations I have that take up so much of who I am and what I love.