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popculturebuffet · 1 year

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Review and Analysis: This Films What Makes Me Feel Alright

Hello all you happy turtles! It's time to grab some pizza and party sized cool ranch doritos and pull your old high school sketchbooks out of some ancient backback in your closet, it's time to talk TMNT: Mutant Mayhem. As a massive TMNT nerd who was beyond hyped for this film coming from the powerhouses of both Point Grey Pictures and one jeff rowe, how did the film stack up? How did it spin kick on it's own? And why did they think Bebop nipple piercings were a good idea? All this and more under the cut, with FULL SPOILERS so if you haven't seen the film, you've been warned.

A New Coat of Ooze: Mutant Mayhem's story of how it came to be is oddly familiar: a massive movie company who has an iconic IP has no idea how to use said IP on it's own, and taps creators who have had some recent noticable and well loved succeses to make them a hit.

If that sounds familiar.. it really should as it was sony's creative desperation to get something spider-man centric only they would get profit from out that lead to Into the Spider verse and i'ts sequel. So it's funny and endearing to me that a film that wouldn't of gotten away with it's utterly unique and grungy art style without spider-verse.. happened for pretty much the exact same reasons.

Like with spidey, Paramount.. really didn't know what to do with TMNT for a while. And it's weird because when they first aquired the heroes in a halfshell from mirage, they had a pretty solid plan: the 2012 show, while messy as it went on, started out really promising and was a huge hit. The IDW comics prior to it were a massive hit for the company and are STILL around today, having outlasted other long term idw liscenses like transformers and having kept a consistent continuity for a decade while also leaving room for crossovers with ghostbusters, the mighty morphin power rangers, the goddamn batman and now street fighter.

So what went wrong? Simple.. they tried WAY too hard to mimic the transformers formula with their theatrical film, Ninja Turtles, not only not getting that audiences were tired of "Micheal Bay makes a weirdly sexual comedy about your childhood and it may have robots", but what really made the franchise work. The sequel from what i hear is slightly better but it just wasn't enoguh. Not helping is they quickly lost their shit on the tv front, as after the 2012 series concluded, they launched the creative, hilarious, and gorgeous Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.. which proceded to last only two seasons because it wasn't an instant hit, aka the same issue most nick shows fell into, not helped by the fact that Nick also seemed to pick up Cartoon Network's bad habit of hating action shows. We DID at least get a really good Rise film that gave the series a nice epilogue, but it's still sad it sputtered out so fast.

So Paramount turned to something they really weren't using.. their film animatoin department.

Paramount Pictures Animation is neat to look into as it had a steep rise.. then fell right off a cliff. It was a bit spottier at first, producing two of the charlie brown films, Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (And don't come back) and my beloved Race for Your Life Charlie Brown... mostly for this theme song.. okay ENTIRELY for the theme song.

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And scattered experiments like Cool World, which was so good Ralph Bakshi punched a man over what they'd done to his idea, Bebe's Kids, and Beavis and Butthead Do America.

It wasn't till the late 90's and the nick boom they really started seeing success with the rugrats movies, jimmy neutron, spongebob and even the failures like Hey Arnold and Wild Thronberries were still neat. And yes i'd like to talk about any and all of these films at some point, they made up my childhood etc etc.

Eventually they got a cushy partneriship with dreamworks, still releasing the ocasional original effort like Rango, Barnyard and TinTin (The last of which I WILL be covering next august, I simply didnt' have room in pirate month this year. Once dreamworks left.. it seemed like Paramount genuinely had no clue what to do with the animation divsion. We had things like Sherlock Gnomes or Wonder Park, and the ocasoinal spongebob movies but it's clear that with Nick constantly cutting itself off at the knees they had no idea what to do. The closest they got was the turdtastic loud house movie and the totally awesome Rise of the TMNT films on netflix, but they just had no idea what they were doing. I mean it's telling that their trying to get extra paw patrol tickets by promiting a double feature with saw X. I.. I wish that was just some stupid joke I made as it's comedy gold. Eventually they came across an idea: Stay the course in focusiong on ips they own.. but bring in someone who knows what their doing to create something truly jawdropping.

So for Mayhem Parmount brought in two proven successes. The first were producers Point Grey Pictures, helmed by friends, writing partners and permenant teenagers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. Rogen has made quite the name for himself as a producer. While Point Grey started as mainly a way for Rogen to produce comedies starring himself and a pre-outing as a sex monster james franco, over time Rogen has proven to be REALLY good at making adaptations, with point grey having had a hand in both the Boys, which I haven't seen but seems to be a MASSIVE improvment over the original comics , which isn't hard but it's still nice they tried, and Invincible, one of the best superhero shows PERIOD and a fantastic adaptation that changes what needed it, moves around pieces and ultimatley creates something really special. So tapping him to adapt a big property like this was a no brainer. He even had animation experince thanks to Sony Pictures Sauage party and while this was Point Grey's first family production, it's clear it wasn't too hard for Rogen to adapt. As for their director they picked a hell of one: Jeff Rowe. For those not familar with him Rowe helmed the Mitchells vs the Machines, sony's first post spider-verse success and the film that helped codify the 2d on 3d style that spider-verse made popular and peanuts pioneered. And it was clearly just ont hes trength of word of mouth alone as Rowe went right from machines to mayhem and only got better. From interviews, the two worked really well together: Rogen was hands on but didn't make the mistakes lord did of being way TOO hands on, simply pitching neat ideas, adding to the film and clearly being heavily involved, while still letting Rowe steer the ship. Rowe in turn learned to have a good work life ballance and give his employees one, preventing the kind of nightmarish working conditions present on other flims such as, sadly, Across the Spider-Verse.

For the direction of the film Rowe was a fan of the franchise as a kid, specifically the toys. He recalled a really sweet story about he and his dad spent a saturday trying to find Tokka and Rahzar and really loved the toys designs and uniquely grungy astetic. As such Rowe really didn't lean into or heavily research the rest of the franchise. Which set off my alarm bells when I read it in a review close to release: after all a LOT of bad adaptations come out of the person adapting it not giving one iota of a shit about the source material. Eventually though I realized I was .. over panicking. What jeff meant was more "I don't want to be overly reverent to the material and see what we can do on our own with the basic concept' rather than "THE TURTLES ARE GOD YOU FOOLS GODS. GODS I SAY!". There are still little nods in there and bits taken from other series; There's a mention of the turtles taking in a knicks game (something that happened in out of the shadows), April's design borrows heavily from her design from Rise while still being unique, Donnie has glasses like the bay movies, there apparently was a miyamoto usagi sticker on a notebook (thanks tv tropes for noticing), and there's a TON of refrences to the 87 continuity as it's clearly the one rowe knew best. And while I do get a LITTLE tired of that being the one continuity most creators seem to lean on the most, I don't hate it and plan to binge the whole giant thing soon I just feel there's a LOT more turtles to pull from, paticuarlly the idw comics, the nods are neat stuff like them having their belts form that series, the various obscure mutants. The Ninja Rap even shows up. Rowe and Rogen clearly love them some turtles.. they just wanted to do something new with it and I completely love and respect that. The biggest swing and the one that's paid off the most was leaning on the teenage aspect. Rowe and Rogan were baffled that no other version of the franchise had done the obvious: Have actual teens voice the turtles. There are reasons for that: For the various tv shows it's simply easier to know the va's wont' age out of the roll, and to the 2012 and rise series credits, they both still tried to make the turtles feel younger and had va's that still made them sound sorta like teens, paticuarlly rise... but it's not at all a bad concept and i'm shocked it took this long for someone to try it.

Another aspect was having the boys all record in one booth. Rogen had the idea.. but Rowe had to explain that it'd be a sound mixing nightmare.. but eventually agreed to it when they tested it out and he saw how much having the four actors playing the turtles riffed off each other and just how much material they got out of the boys adlibs. It adds a natural feeling to the boys conversations: it feels like four teens riffing who just happen to be turtles. It was indeed an audio nightmare.. but the nightmare was worth it and Rowe was greatful and apologetic to his sound crew.

The final bit was simply taking from teen movies, the film even outright has the boys watch Feris Buller's Day Off, which gives me one of my faviorite lines in the film, courtesy of Raph: "Being in high school means you can hyjack a parade whenever you want. "

There's more to get into as we go but with the film opening decently and paramount being so confident in the film pre-release they announced a two season tv show and a sequel, the future looks bright for the green machines. So now we've seen how the pizza gets made let's see how it came out

Perfectly Sketchy: Rogen and Rowe's "Teenage Energy" philosphy went into the design. Rowe wanted to find a unique look for the film, but it was a bit of a puzzler at first: There's SO many incarnations of the tmnt, which one do you pick for this? Do you go with the mirage comics, the 87 cartoon? 2003? the next mutation if you huffed some paint? In the end Rowe decided

Instead he made a brilliant decision: if the film was going to feel teenagery, then why not have it look like the sketches teenagers make in their notebooks? It's an idea that just oozes brilliance and still fits the franchises history like a razor decked claw glove. Part of what made the early comics stand out was it's sketchy, frank miller-esque style, and the toys stood out for largely echoing that as much as you could in three dimensions at the time. So it still fit.. but did something entirley new with it. As as a result the film has a look that simply nothing else has: porportions on most things are off, the backgrounds arne't hugely detailed , did you when you were a teen?, but still pop gloriously, and the characters all have SOMETHING that would be off model anywhere else. One of the thugs in the turtles first act of vigilnate justice, for instanc,e has a weirdly crooked head with indents. It's a look that's perfectly stylitic, fits the series history, and it's a kind of weird that perfectly complintes a series that was already having our heroes fight space dinosaurs by the third issue. I especially love how the shurikens are not even yet still throw perfectly and Mikey's hey arnold head. It's a look that pops with creativity and the crew really took to playing with. It's a style that will, much like spider-verse lead to this, undoubtly lead to more unique swings and I cannot wait to see what people come up with as a result

Protecting a World that Hates and Fears Them

The film's core comes from a rather genius decision to simply pick apart a key part of the franchise... the fact Splinter keeps the boys isolated from humanity for most of their lives and encourages them to stay hidden. Now credit where it's due some continuties justify it well enough: sometimes splinters hiding from shredder, or already had a sweet rent free sewer apartment he set up for no reason, trying to find his lost son and complete his family while avoiding a mutated alley cat or simply was waiting till the boys could defend themselves. They often have a lot of enemies... but even that shouldn't mean they can't get an education or have friends. April and Casey stick by them no matter what. They should be able to at least try for a normal life or the idea of them WANTING more than hidnig all the time should really come up more. The only ones that have really tapped into this are the IDW continuity which is just now having the boys integrate post armageddong game, out of the shadows which from what i've read has a throughly intresting subplot about the boys wanting to become human and leos' resistance to the idea (which also makes him come off as a bit of a jackass honestly as it's not his choice and "We're turtles end of story" is not an excuse). We've had the turtles say move into an apartment but this is the first to just flat out ask: why CANT the boys at least try to live with humanity instead of under them? And if so why did splinter keep them apart?

It's part of what really grounds the boys in this incarnation and makes them feel so damn real. The other of course was the decision to have actual teens play them and riff off each other. We get them making unteiotnally douchey digs at each other, such as the other three mocking Leo attempting a batman voice, casually talk about how they'd like to meet drake or have brunch with tom brady, which leo no you can do better man, or do some goofy shit while april marvels at their stupidity.. and then double down when told it might make people like them less. By making the biggest attempt so far to make the turtles FEEL like teens instead of young adults, an evolution the franchise has been undergoing since the 2012 cartoon and honestly reaches it's apex here, it makes us feel for them that much more; These are just kids who simply want to be loved and accepted, like any teenager. That awkwardness, wanting to fit in, wanting to simply belong.. it's one of the most painful parts of a teen and transplanting that to the tutles wa sa brilliant move. One of the earliest scenes is what sells this the most: the boys going to see Ferris Buller's Day off.. and just wondering what it'd be like to be normal. That lost shot of them sadly returning to the sewer... looking on screen at something they only wish they could have... it's so heartbreakingly beautiful.

The reasons WHY Splitner restricts their time in the outside world and refers to humans as "the demon scum of the earth. They lust to destroy that which is diffrent than them"

Giving Splinter a deep fear of humans is a brilliant move. It's something that really coudln't be done in most incarnations as he's been the pet of a martial arts master who treated him well, said martial arts master living in a sweet sewer apartment after being clumsily blamed for murder, got reincarnated as a rat after dying in ancient japan, a martial arts master who turned his back on his heritage because his clan let his family die, became a movie star, fucked a spider lady, had said spider lady put him in gladatorial games, then got depressed after becoming a rat but gladly adopted his sons. Here they strip that away and we're left with a splinter who was just a rat who was yelled at by other animals, shooed by humans just for trying to survivie and whose only friend was a cockroach.. who he ended up eating after humanity killed the poor guy. Finding the boys also abandoned in the sewers and covered in ooze, as oozual, not only made him into a rat man.. but also gave him the one thing he never had: a family. We also get a REALLY adorable montage set to de la soul's eye know that makes me REALLY glad the copy right hurdles around them are gone so we don't have another spider-man no way home situation because the song both slaps and has a nice soothing tone that really fits. We'll get more into the music on i'ts own later, I just really love this montage.

It also makes what follows..

We see that Splinter GENUINELY tried to go out into the world.. and the result was humanity throwing things at him despite carrying 4 small children and said children nearly being hit by a car. It's a really unsettling sequence. While yeah everyone going "rat man" and throwing things is a bit on the nose... given how a LOT of humanity acts to LBGTIQ+ persons, People of color, diffrent religions I could go on but i'm depressed enough as is, it's not really that much of a stretch that they'd throw things at a rat just trying to show his sons the world. It reminds me a LOT of the x-men and it's honestly weird to me that the othe rbiggest mutant franchise int he world HADN'T taken a page from them sooner.

It gives the film nuance: Splinter IS objectively prejudiced, leo even says so directly, but you can see how those prejudices formed and why he's so terrified for his own kids. He's worried a world that hates and fears them will also hate and milk them.. a runner that while awkwardly phrased, I don't think Seth or Jeff have heard of the term milking before, is hilarious, especially the usual refrain of "we don't even have nipples. " He just wants them safe and happy and you can tell he really does love them. He taught them the martial arts to protect them.. and the how is also really clever and a really fun idae: instead of "I learned it from a book" Or "I happened to be owned by a ninja master" or "I was reincarnated" we instead get him teaching them.. via martial arts films, instuctional videos, and the ocasional youtube thing. I love it because it honestly makes way more sense than it should as shown in the animation: splinter watched the films, learned the movements himself and then taught the boys. It's also a nice bit of meta text as Jackie Chan himself is a practicing martial artist who makes martial arts films and did his own stunts. One of his films is apparently even in the montage. It's one of my faaviorite takes of the film.

One of my faviorite scenes is Splinter's biggest pet the dog moment: the pizzza party. Splinter brings in a bunch of pizza hut pizzas

It's neat because it both clearly misses the point, Splinter really dosen't seem to get that simply bringing down a bunch of pizzas to have a human style prom and having kelvin captain kirk cutout won't fill the void inside. I mean I could think of a lot of uses for a chris pine cutout, i'm not saying it's a bad gift and it's sweet he's trying SO HARD to get his boys to open up and Jackie Chan just nails the dad energy on this one. It's just clear that they don't want to stay there there whole lives as safe as that is.

What brings it to it's head is one of the films more brilliant decisions. Originally, while I haven't found many specifics the film had other antagonists: Baxter Stockman was originally the boys teacher (they went to school during the course of this film in this draft) and became the fly again, while Shredder was TCRI"s heavy in earlier drafts. Both were nixed, the former likely due to abandoing the school plot and the latter for the entirely on the mark decision that it was just too much. Shredder.. is THE arch enemy to the turtles. The one constant in every universe. So it makes way more sense to save him for a sequel and let someone else take the reigns. As Rowe has teased Shredder's going to be a bit of a wakeup call: just as the boys think they have it figured out .. in comes shredder to kick their asses. Which really has happened A LOT across the franchise, with it being a regular tradition that the shredder beats the shit out of the turtles the first time they fight. Even in IDW where they do rally and turn the fight on it's head.. he still easily handles them all one on one before they rally as a team. It makes sense to save their ultimate test for a sequel while still giving them one hell of a trial by fire

Instead we got Superfly, who better fit into the fantastic racisim narritive. If the boys want to get love and acceptance by fighting for a world that hates and fears them x-men style.. it only makes sense they have a magneto on that other end.

Like Magneto Superfly has a tragic backstory behind his hatred of mankind.. Superfly was the creation of Baxter Stockman and what they did with Baxter both completely floored me.. and drove me to tears. Instead of what he is normally, either a put upon target coerced into villany who strikes back at both the turtles and those who wronged him, or a narcsitic monster who will gladly do whatever he wants and kill anyone in his way, here... Baxter is just a deeply lonely old man who just wants a family. At worst he steals from TCRI.. but given we see their a horrifying company who wants the mutants as weapons and will gladly torture teenagers for a buck, it's not hard to side with him. It's really nice ot see a heroic baxter.. and sad to see him go so quickly.

It puts Superfly's hatred in perspective: like splinter he saw just what huamanity does and how his kind is treated and grew up having to raise his younger siblings. Like Splinter he seems to really love them. And like splinter his attempt to take his siblings topside.. went horribly wrong with them being chased by an angry mob for just..c oming to a snack bar. But it's right after that we get the clear diffrence: Splinter just ran in fear and while he trained the boys ot protect themselves, he just wants a line between himself and humanity. Superfly.. wants them all to pay. He wants to mutate the world that killed his dad and drove him and his siblings into hiding. The only way they can be accepted.. is if humanity is mostly gone and what's left are enslaved.

IT's that sadistic streak that ultimately defines him as a villian: the turtles just want to be accepted, splinter just wants to be loved, the rest of the mutant "cousins" just want a home and have been indocrinated and browbeaten into thinking there isn't another way. Superfly.. wants things his way: he wants blood, he wants revenge and if anyone stands in his way no matter their age or being his family he will kill them. It's that anger inside that makes him a true monster.

And that extends to his own family. Superfly's an abusive parent to Splinters flawed but loving one: The rest of the mutants turn stone quiet when he subtly/notsubtly threatens the turtles if they happen to disagree, and during the chase not only are they all desperate to get the thing back but Wingnut in paticular gets the most telling line

Wingnut: Superfly's almost here and he's not going to be as nice about this! Leo: You're not being nice! Wingnut: He'll be less nice!!

While the other mutants SEEM jazzed during the bowling alley scene, it's very clear later none of them were that enthused about the idea. Both sets are afraid to speak to their parental figure.. but the diffrence is clear in motion: the boys hide from splinter because they know he'll say no, it's a standard teenage thing and as seen with the pizza party when Splinter finds the various knick knacks they've picked up on their heroic journey, his response is to try to bring the surface to the sewer. It's awkward as hell and dosen't remotely work.. but it's still a sweet gesture and you still feel bad for him when the boys quickly leave to finish their half assed plan. Splinter ultimately wants what's best for his kids and even if he's not always right in carrying that out, I never doubted he actually loved his children.

This all brillantly comes to a head towards the end: While Splinter plans to just.. isolate the turtles after their nearly milked, the one time he seems GENUINELY angry the whole film, he still wants to save April, the one good human, who warned him the boys were in danger in the first place.

This leads to a touching bit in itself: the boys COULD fight the other mutants, their trying to do a genocide after all.. but instead the boys.. just talk them down. I mean i'm used to this kinda thing by now, most animation these days is about forgivness, but it still works: earlier when meeting each other the turtles gladly bonded with their cousins, who i'll talk about in more detail later: Mondo and Mikey were both chill, raph finally found some people who liked to hit stuff, presumibly while blasting Limp Bisikit, it was really sweet. THeir relutance to stop them added a nice dimension to things: they UNDOUBTLY want to stop superfly's plan.. but they genuinely like their cousins and see them as good people in a bad situation. Likewise the cousins are utterly destraught at the fight afterwords and miss the turtles. These are simply at the end of the day teens 20 somethings and whatever scumbug is who just wanted to not be chased iwth torches.

So it's utterly heartwarming when the turtles and splinter simply offer their home. They may not have humanity.. but they'd have each other. It's also YET ANOTHER idea that seems obvious in retrospect but most turtle series never really thought of: why.. can't other mutants stay with them? They usually order suplies and stuff descretley anyway or in this case take them out of nescsity, if they can afford pizza for 5 people reguarly, why NOT let other smove in. I mean I get it meta wise, you dont' want to overcrowd things. But it's a nice thought i'm glad gets realized: that the boys aren't alone and now have a whole new family to lean on.

And of course Superfly can't take that. To him there's only one way to go: never stop making them pay. I'll also say I like just how poweful superfly is: he's got strength inunerablity, and super smarts, which I thought was a nice touch. I assumed he woudln't have baxter's intellegence and I'm glad to be wrong. He's only stopped and only then breifly by sheer numbers.

What follows is a LITTLE on the nose, with superfly just.... saying outight he and splinter aren't so diffrent, down to both having said "You'll be safe if you just LISTEN TO ME".

That part.. dosen't quite work for me. What does work is the animation on splinter during the struggle between everyone else and superfly.. the dawning realization of what he is as Superfly states the obvious and his determination as soon as Superfly says "the diffrence is i'm not a punk". Superfly just wants to get revenge on a world that hates and fears him.. Splinter just wants his sons to be happy. And he finally realizes that even if there's a lot of risk involved, they DESERVE to live out there with everyone else. There is something better than hiding or murder.

I also like how Superfly.. drops the pretense: once his plans done he just goes on a massive kaiju attack: I also like how fucking horrific his form is: the whale part's a bit goofy at first.. but then you see how much STRENGTH that gives him as he destroys it. Even if we get the ocasional joke (I didn't need that horse is gold), for the finale Superfly is just a nightmarish, imposing threat that threatnes to run our heroes lives and also maybe end them. The glee he takes in crushing the boys alive... it's fucking terrifying.

I also love the bit of the boys panning... seeing all the destruction.. and seeing the media blame them too. Their trying to HELP people.. and get blamed. I'd suggest moving to krakoa but a lo tof shit has went down and living with one old man full of fear and regret is what started this whole caper. And the boys.. fight on anyway because it's the right thing to do. Despite all the hate... someone has to stop superfly. And in doing so.. April makes sure they get the glory and praise they deserve anyway.

Finally I love splinter's turnaround right before the final fight... where he admits he was wrong.. but hasn't FULLY turned around on humans. He's simply realized he can't let his baggage with humanity weigh down his sons. And it pays off brilliantly during the time square fight, as when Splinter is downed.. someone helps him up. And what I love is that while it COULD just be someone who saw April's newscast clearing the turtles and other mutants.. it's left ambgious. As far as we know it was just a nice guy and gal helping an old man up regardless of if he was a giant rat or not. It dosen't paper over all the films flaws with the rat man mob scene but it does help quite a bit.

The film brillantly tackles prejudice and I like how unlike most films.. there's no easy answers. Our boys have to do something big and loud to get accepted and it's not guaranteed to shield them, as seen with the stingers. THey find friends , activites and get what they want.. but it's likely not the end.. but that's okay. The important thing is for the first time the turtles are out of the shadows and into the sun. And it suits them. Seriously this last twist was brilliant and i'm shocked it took a tmnt this long to just.. let them be public since 87, and since media has evolved, it means when we get to the series we can actually explore what that means: how will they adapt? will everyone accept them? will april realize Leo is into her and it wasn't just a friend thing? there's a lot of questions I can't wait to be answered.

Change is Constant

I didn't have a good segway so.. CHARACTERS! MY WHEELHOUSE. LET'S GO.

Starting with the boys, their more of a package deal here. They still have unique deisgns, takes on the cores of their personalities, all you'd expect from a good tmnt adaptation.

What changes it up a bit is the recording together: while most sets of turtles have great chemistry, this one.. really feels like their brothers thanks to the shared recording: they talk over one another, dunk on each other and goof around. This has always been a thing, and part of the franchises charm, but how they do it here feels more real, helped by the fact they clearly took some adlibs in. Both the BTS bit where they try to comfort Donnie only to both mangle the lyrics and writhe in pain and the bit with the new york accents both sound like the boys just started riffing on the prompt given, didn't stop and they rolled with it because it was comedy gold. It also means a LOT more pop culture refrences.. but it works. It dosen't feel like too much

Admitely I don't know how current the refrences are to ACTUAL teens, but they work well enough and don't feel like their horribly date the film. Plus it'd be.. weird to have a turtles work that didn't reflect it's era in some way, as all 4 cartoons and most films and comics reflect their time either in writing or in the general vibe.

The downside to this is the turtles indvidual personalities, while present.. get kinda underplayed. Leo and Raph make it out fine enough: After the radience that was Rise Leo and ben schwartz being at his peak slacker doofus (while also still being badass), we're back to Leo being Teachers Pet. But thankfully like the 2012 film they play with it: like that Leo his brother's don't really respect him as a leader, but rather than the usual raph snarling at him like wolverine, here it's more just their his brothers, they woudln't respect him anyway and benig their dad's mouthpiece just makes them ignore him harder. He's the dutiful son but he's simply outnumbered. Raph dosen't get a ton of spotlight, but gets enough to be a fun little murder baby and probably my faviorite of the 4. Instead of the usual brooding loner, sometimes ultra violent sometimes just sassy, often both, here he's more an obnoxious older brother who picks on leo the most, is happy to do dangerous stunts and badly needs therapy. He's essentially Reese from malcom in the middle as a ninja turtle. He still loves his brothers and loves a good scrap, but he's got some issues to adress.

Mikey and Donnie likewise aren't bad but kinda one note: Mikey gets it the worst: he's a bit goofy.. but since they ALL are this incarnation it dosen't stand out as much. He gets some nice bits and one hell of a impariment shot, but not much else.

Donnie fairs better, but suffers from the unintended consequences of a good choice. As part of grounding things a bit, Donnie isn't a super genius. He's just a snarky little otaku who does really like tech, but on the resonable level of a teenage boy. As a result he dosen't get as much to do as most donnies as he's not hotwiring shit as often or making super lasers. It works for me, it's intresting to have a donnie whose just a normal kid who happens to be really nerdy, but it means plotwise he dosen't have as much to do as Raph as the ringleader to the boys mischief or Leo as the leader of the band during hero stuff. I get why: they only had a hundred minutes and it's remarkable they crammed as much in as they did, but it's something I really hope the series can course correct. I don't mind the boys riffing and hope it continues, but I also hope we get them more as their own people too.

As a final note I love Leo's crush on April. IT feels like a better realized version of the Donnie one from 2012. Instead of waffling over wether april notices or just dosen't want to turn him down which..

And then having it go from cute to "spiraling obessive dickhole", here April notices something's weird, but is clearly more intrested in the "giant talking turtles who can help my rep" thing and thus dosen't really pry. It only REALLY crosses into that at the end when he transparently asks her out.. and she waits till prom to ask "wait this is a friend thing right". But that could be nerves or her being just as scared of her feelings as he is with his. It also helps that while he's intrested in april romantically the two do bond: out of the four he' sthe most empathetic at her barf reputation, priortizes her not out of his crush but because she asked for their help and later works with her at her club. It's still somethign the series could work on, but for "a way to both mine jokes and get leo to go against his dad's wise council" it works fine. It's better than "how dare you ruin my ship you bastards" and "Mikey stop being a sex creep. "

So moving on to April herself, I mostly like this version. She's the third time this franchise has gone with a teen april and the third to have her POC. I've liked the turn to teen april as instead of being a big sister to the turtles, and essentially another authority figure when they already have their dad, she's on their level and it opens up fresh possiblities. Mayhem is the first with this take on april to have her be a reporter again, and it's honestly nice to see that work at a school level, having her TRIED to be on their equivleant of channel one.. and end up puking. And i'm not a barf joke man but walking back into the theater after a bathroom break to see her ralphing to "UnwritteN" may be one of my faviorite cinema moments of 2023, up there with walking back into Barbie to find she and ken now had cowboy outfits they'd apparently stolen.

I also love how it gives her a personal stake: she just wants to be loved same as the turtles and like them realizes this isn't WHY to do this. She also provides a nicely needed straight man to the goofier brothers without being reduced to the old sterotype of "Joy killing female foil. ", something her fellow teen aprils and most aprils in general have thankfully achieved. April is just a person and reacts with annoyance to the boys because their going on a 4 minute tangent saying new york sterotypes while mike does a rumpshaker.

We do have to unpack that mostly though and that comes from April being kind of a dick at time's. She's pressuery when the boys are undercover with SUperfly's gang.. even though she can HEAR what their saying.. and thus hear that he's clearly indocrinated the others and that the boys may not want to harm THEM. I get her not wanting Superfly to succeed, his plan is fucking horrible, but even for a teen it's weird she dosen't see the nuance. She can also be a bhit short with them, though the latter I acknolwedge in hindsight as being like the boys: she's a teenager and teens aren't perfect. This is still a great april and continues Ayo's streak this year of great voice acting roles.

The other mutants are great. I was worried: While the cast for them is fucking stacked and Seth called in a lot of his rolodex to fill it out, and himself as credit where it's due he tends to show up in shit he produces and bring his absolute best rather than showing up because he can, i've seen plenty of films fall flat because they tried to add too many characters from the source. Just this year I felt one of the biggest issues with Transformers; Rise of the Beasts is that they tried to jam so many autobots and maximals in, a total of 10 but didn't bother to give any of them but optimus, bee and mirage an actual character.

Here while the characters are one note, they have charming designs and work more as a unit like the boys, but are still friendly and likeable enough that your fond of them like the turtles and happy when they join the family. The breakout is easily natasha dimoscu's wingnut. I already loved wingnut, but this is easily the best verison: she's cheery kind and gets some great subtle jokes, the wifi one is fucking great as is her swiping Donni'es akira voices. All of them are pretty charming though. The only one to not really feel like a character is Hannibal frog, a sad waste of hannibal burgess, but everyone else gets something fun to do: Bebop and Rocksteady are rageholic morons who then get a sweet character arc as they realize their rage is because Superfly ENCOURAGED them to be constantly angry, and it's fun to see a version of them that's genuinely heroic. Not so fun is Bebop's pierced nipples.

I am genuinely baffled by this design choice. I don't doubt Bebop would get pierced nips, it' sin character. But why Seth thought anyone would want to see that, why he made HIS CHARACTER HAVE THEM, OR WHY HE MAKES IT SO PROMINENT will be a question that will haunt me for years to come. Or until we get creators commentary to explain why he hates viewers eyes. For the record I have nothing against nipple piercings, I just question why anyone thought giving them to Bebop was a good idea. OR their so large or

I also like Scumbug and i'm happy to see Splinter in his first relationship where his partner hasn't died horribly or put him in gladiator games. I did not need to see them make out with clone high level tounge. I"ll let this discord conversation with my good friend @kammieceleek handle the heavy lifting.

I mean their a cute couple but please, NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN NEVER

Anyways capping us off we have TCRI, who are decent enough. I like remaking them as this sort of paramilitary goon squad that shows the worst of humanity. Cynthia herself.. is fucking great. I like that to anyone familiar with Krang, it's DAMN obvious who she either is, or is a stand in for, with the name, apperance and Maya Rudolph somehow doing the Pat Fraley krang voice and tics while also doing a thick german accent. She's a brillaint combo of over the top hammy.. and an utterly sadstic monster, shocking the boys just for speaking, not carring that they don't really belong to her, and willing to kill them just to get her super weapons. She's what a remade krang should be: still over the top.. but also dead seriously terrifying. My only complaint is she's a bit OBVIOUS as a sequel hook. Like Rowe was really banking on that sequel and i'm never a fan of when films do this when they don't KNOW this story will continue. It is clearly, with the film slowly picking up more and more money and more than enough in merch, but he coudln't of known that.

So with that we just have one bit of buisness to wrap up

Yo Jeff Drop the Verse

The soundtrack for this flim is liquid gold. It's so good to my ears and full of such nice cuts. Guardians cemented my love of needle drops in film in tv: If you can pull it off well do it. And this film does it so damn good. The film skews to hip hop, likely due to wanting a "Tony Hawk Pro Skater" vibe, which really does fit teendom well. I will admit it's also pretty explicit here and there, so kids may be disapointed to find they can't stream these songs, but it's still a stacked selectoin

So before I break it down track by track, something I regret failing to do with spider-verse as like this reveiw it was massively behind, I whipped up a playlist as Parmount's own leaves out several tracks. While I get the what's going on bit being left out as that bit is a good suprise why it has'nt been added weeks out from the film I don't know. You can find it here

Ante Up is a song i've heard maybe once or two here, but is a perfect gag for the opening grocery run, while still showing off just what our boys can do.. even if their doing it for some party sized cool ranch doritos. Which is still a great reward.

Danke Scheon shows up in the clip of feris buller. This dosen't really count but I do think the film is a perfect fit, since John Hughes was an inspiration for this film, and it's an idealized version of the freedom the boys desperately want. Not a John Hughes film I was ever a huge fan of, but it works and that "You can hyjack parades whenever you want" joke is so damn good.

Now we come to a track I wasn't familiar with but is easily my faviorite now: Eye Know. I"m glad more films are using De La Soul's music, mostly because it makes ME want to know them better as I haven't heard much and even after really enjoying three is the number, thanks to the weird rights limbo it wasn't avaliable to stream ad nauseum when No Way Home came out. Thankfully just a few short months ago, the whole De La Soul catalogue is up. This song is a really gentle, really fun love song with one heck of a chorus, and it nicely meshes with Splitner raising his adorable little children. It's one of my faviorite scenes of the movie.

The next track is another perfect selection but for something more hilarious and badass: While Push It To the Limit verges on a parody of training montage music it works for one where we find out the turtles and splinter learned ninjitsu from movies,, instructional tapes and whatever they could scrounge up. HOw their learning is awesomely rediculous, so it needs backing that's cheestastic.

Love is an Illusion by Ronnie Walker was nice for Leo falling for APril. It's a really crisp, dreamy love song so it fits.

Okay look i'ts only there for a second, but I can't tell you how much I love Ninja Rap making a cameo on this soundtrack. The soundtrack is cheesy good and one of the more iconic ninja turtle songs for a reason. It's not as good as say Pizza Power or the various awesome theme songs, but it's goofy fun that fit the film it was in. It's also one of Vanilla Ice's better songs, though that isn't huge compettion especially since he made a weird as fuck sequel I still can't comprehend that was also compeltely ninja turtle free for some reason.

Cavern By LIquid Liquid is fun, a nice chill beat to meet turtles to.

Dance by ESG is already a fun song and fits the boys going full blast on their plan well. THat's.. about it. THankfully I have more for unwritten. I'm not a fan of Vomit humor most of the time unless you have a paticuarlly inspired twist like say. a mad scientest making everyone in the room vomit at a bar as a thought experiment leading to an image like this

That's just beautiful. But i'm just not a gross out guy, so this gag working for me was a lot... setting the most embarassing moment of April's life to FUCKING UNWRITTEN, a song I heard 998 times over the course of the 2000's as every fucking movie and tv show overused the hell out of this throughly mid song, it was transedeant. First and only good use of unwritten. Well done.

Now we come to what's easily the best musical bit of the movie. And it has some steep competition from Eye Know and another song we all know is coming, but the No Diggity Scene is just one of those sequences that once you see it you know "This shit is iconic". This is a scene that's now etched in tmnt lore and for damn good reason. It's also a brilliant way to get up to the chain to superfly and have a few weeks of sluthing and our heroes getting better pass as our heroes easily blaze through some goons and those shots of EACH turtle getting to burst in and lead the assault?

And look I admit this montage hits a sweet spot that was also started by guardians: setting an action montage to music that somehow fits despite having no right to. In this case a mellow smooth as hell jam perfectly complmenting some frantic action. So fucking smooth.

Wake Up in the Sky grew on me as let's face it, a song that has bruno mars saying fly a dozen times nad saying he's super fly works. I just don't like it a lot because trap is'nt something that fits me musically. I prefer more intricate beats or at least a really solid one thorugh the whole thing. The more relaxed beatwork here isn't for me, but I can't deny it fits Superfly's big debut well.

Fitting me much better is the use of Shimmy Shimmy Yay for the bowling scene. It's fucking great, a song that's never not awesome and that's also a bit low key while being way more my speed.

The use of BOTH major versions of What's Up? .. is an easy close second for best use of music int he film and one of the most brilliant masterstrokes. And this all comes to Seth Rogen. When the chase scene wasn't quite working, he suggested the slackcircus version of he man. It's also awsome in that the song's themes of isolation PERFECTLY fit what the mutants are going through. So not only did they manage to stick one of the best meme songs in human history in a feature film.. but they did so with it being ENTIRELY relevant. The switch from the 4 non blondes version to slackcircus is fucking genius and the song adds nice manic energy. It'll also hopefully give this song a rightful ressurgence as the heman cover is , while hilarious, also GENUINELY good. The original ain't too shabby either.

The boys version of butter is hilarious and got me to listen to the original which is alright. Mr. Lonely isn't a bad song, and perfectly fits Splinter's mope session.

Finally we have can I kcik it, an objectively awesome song. It fit the trailer perfectly and it fits our ending as our heroes are finally allowed to mingle with the surface adn get their happy ending beauitfully. A beautiful ending to a beautiful film.

So overall mutant mayhem is fucking awesome. If you haven't seen it after all this go see it, support the hard workers who made this film possible by supporting the ongoing strike and thanks for reading.

#teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #leonardo #donetello #raphael #michalangelo #april 0'neil #screwloose #superfly #bebop #rocksteady #jeff rowe #seth rogen #nickelodeon #scumbug

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allw3doisadvert1se · 7 months

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Old Friends

Spamton sat quietly at his desk, no longer the office dedicated entirely to him, but just a small work station in the wing of the mansion designated for the marketing team. Everyone else had ran when the announcement came over the speakers that ASO was back, but Spamton just continued typing away, his iconic neon glasses crackling with static. He didn’t particularly know how to feel about The Founder’s return, or the fact he was now being watched 24/7 by a man who already didn’t like him. All he knew was work was money, and money was his key to not ending back in that same god damn dumpster all over again … alone, starving, cold.

His concentration was interrupted by the lights in the room he was working in cutting out, bathing him in darkness. He raised his voice. “HE-H-HEY!! WUTZ thE BIG [[Deals, Deals, so many Deals!]] WHO CUT OUT TH3 >liGHTs?!”

For a beat, silence … followed by footsteps coming from an open window in the room. Spamton produced a pipis, holding it above his head like a grenade ready to be thrown. “[[Show thyself]] YOU [[Hateful Shrew!]] I’VE G0T A [[pipis]] AND I’M NOT AFRAID 2 [[pull the pin, pop it in the bowl-]]!!”

The voice that responded to him was distantly familiar, someone he knew before being exiled by The Founder. “Come now, Spamton, is that really any way to treat me? You slighted against me once, but that was a long, long time ago.”

Multicolored lights emerged from the darkness, forming the outline of a tall, corvid butler in a pristine suit. Though mechanically modified somehow, Spamton couldn’t mistake a familiar face when he saw it in front of him. This was Swatch, clear as day. It seemed despite The First Unit’s failure to locate them before being overthrown, that lost time was made up for now. But … why were they back? Spamton looked on with suspicion. “UR A BIT LATE [[buddy pal chum amigo brother homeslice breadslice dawg]]. THE NICER [[Man in The Big Chair]] WAS LO0KIN’ FOR [[Only youuuuuuuu…]], BUT NOW THEY’VE [[bee]]N-”

“Taken back down a peg, yes, I know. A being relying on resonance is bound to lose on the grounds of resonance … it’s just sort of a given. I’m here now because I fear that with the new harvester resonance that’s being transmitted, we can no longer rely on fighting Heinrich on his own battlefield.”

Spamton seemed confused. “HEINRICH? [[Guess Who]]’S TH4T?”

Swatch paused, and let out a quiet frustrated sigh. “The Founder, Spamton. You’d think that being one of his department heads at one point you would know your boss by his first name.”

“THE LESS [[Question 1: What is the powerhouse of-]] 1 ASKED, THE MORE [[delicious]] [[KROMER]] I WAS PAID!”

They held up a hand as a sign to stop arguing. “The point is, I’m taking the fight directly to ASO, and I need your help. Not for your physical prowess, Knight’s blade no…”

“H3Y!!!”

“…but rather because you are weirdly capable of inserting yourself into technology. So … here’s the deal. I’m recreating the NEO suit, but better than last time. More defense, even more sundering offense, greater mobility, I could go on … If I allow you to take control of it, and you use it to help me take down ASO and get this place back under control … you can keep the suit.” Saying that sentence very visibly made Swatch uncomfortable.

Spamton, on the other hand was ecstatic. The little puppet jumped around the room, his head growing in size as he laughed and laughed and laughed joyously. Eventually he sprinted back up to Swatch and shook their hand incredibly fast. He did note, through his joy fueled frenzy, that Swatch’s hand was oddly cold and smooth …“HAEHAEHAEHAEHAE! ALRIGHT [[Bird brain]], U GOT YOURSELF A DE4L!!! [[H e a v e n]], SPAMT-SPAMTON’S COMING!! U CAN’t KEEP HIM [[25% Off on Choice Padlocks]] FOR EVER!”

Swatch groaned, immediately regretting their decision to do this.

#deltarune #deltarune au #creative writing #spamton #swatch

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timelordcapricorns · 9 months

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Expectance (Dr. Animo x reader)

Quick note; not a single romance based fanfic about the most iconic Ben 10 villain has ever been made anywhere. So, with the help of @kingsleychizzard & the fact that I also think he’s kinda cute, here’s the very first! Reader is female. -Corn Puff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was supposed to be a normal day for you, you were off work today & had plans ready for the entire day. However, that changed quickly when you were snatched off the street by some frighteningly large cockatiel. How it managed to get the size of an airplane was beyond you. Before you could process the fact that you’d easily be dropped in one wrong move, you were brought into a random abandoned building & dropped onto a table. Shackles were instantly locked around your wrists & ankles before the table was leaned forward. Great, now you felt like Frankenstein, except you were alive.

“Perfect. Now I can properly test my latest invention.” that voice sounded way too familiar for you to not notice. Looking towards the source of said voice, you saw a man who looked old, but you got a glimpse of his face & were shocked.

“Aloysius? Is that really you?! You look awful, what happened during the last 5 years?” your voice made him freeze. When he looked back at you, it was obvious that he couldn’t believe it.

“(Y/n)? My old lab partner? The one who left me all alone because the news of my work left her full of hatred? The one who threatened to file a restraining order against me if I tried contacting her again?” his voice went from surprised to angry. Wow, 5 years & he instantly brings that up.

“Aloysius James Animo, you were doing incredibly cruel & unethical things to those poor animals! I should’ve slapped you when I had the chance.” you spat. He stomped up to you, but there was the slightest trace of hurt in his eyes. That was odd, his egotistical nature prevented him from feeling such things.

“Shut up.” he snarled. You stared at each other for a few seconds before he suddenly grabbed your face & kissed you. It was warm & passionate, filled with love, something you were sure he could never feel. It was so intense that you actually kissed back, but he pulled away soon after.

“You isolated me, it really hurt. I couldn’t bring myself to go outside partially because of you. The other part was because of what happened with my work.” he said as he undid your shackles. When you were free, you glanced at him & noticed that he actually seemed quite upset, his eyes fully displayed hurt now.

He walked away & sat at a desk, instantly putting his head in his hands, something he always did when stressed. What were the chances of you being reunited after what happened? Feeling the slightest bit guilty, you walked over to him & rubbed his back. He barely reacted, so it gave you time to think. All the times you actually hung out together, how gentle he always was with you, & then you remembered his face the day you left. He looked devastated, almost as if everything he cared about was erased. That’s when it clicked.

“Did you… love me?” you asked. He groaned in frustration & put his head down as the faintest blush appeared on his face.

“I still do, that’s the problem.” he mumbled. This whole situation just got incredibly awkward. You tried rubbing his back again, but he got up & just stood over you. The proximity certainly made you uncomfortable, but you couldn’t seem to back away.

He cupped your face & gently rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs before leaning in to kiss you again. Oddly enough, you wrapped your arms around his neck & deepened the kiss. This prompted him to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you closer. For the first time ever, you realized that he was rather broad & seemed to be well built. Your mind was then snapped back to the kiss when he licked your bottom lip. You honestly thought he’d be forceful, but he was actually being a gentleman & patiently waited for your permission. You allowed him to turn the kiss into a french kiss & your heart nearly melted from the sensation. By the time you pulled apart, the tiniest strand of saliva still connected your mouths, making you blush.

“I guess that means you love me too?” he teased. You simply responded by burying your face in his chest & hugging him. He chuckled & hugged back, clearly pleased with the display of affection.

#ben 10 #aloysius animo #dr animo #reader insert #female reader #romance #awkward romance #very first fic about aloysius animo on tumblr #he’s so under appreciated

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wil-is-done · 2 years

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Leftovers

Summary: Another world-altering event, another group of children left to pick up the pieces. One girl, in particular, might still play host to a malevolent entity. The MK and the Psychonauts send in Raz and Lili to investigate.

Word Count: 2.077

Raz always finds the droning thrum of the Psychonauts’ jets to be oddly therapeutic, but maybe that’s simply a symptom of cabin fever speaking, caused by spending far too much time of his life sitting in one. But, until someone invents instant teleportation or portal tech that doesn’t involve horrific mutilations, the jets are the only reasonable option.

“What was that about mutilations?”

Raz shrugs at his partner, seated beside him. “Eh, nothing. Just mind ramblings.”

Lili stares for a moment more, before her eyes return to the windshield ahead.

Just in time for the jet to descend below the clouds and an iconic sign rises into view. A tad scorched and bent, but still easily recognizable.

“Kinda wild that we’re globetrotting agents, and I’m pretty sure I’ve only been to L.A., like, five times,” Raz says.

“It’s the Mecca of entertainment, not of apocalyptic horror.”

Raz breathes a chuckle. “One more way Hollywood lies to us.”

Lili wills the jet to bank left – a nearby parking lot looks just empty enough to park an aircraft on.

“Still think it’s complete bull how the gang shunted this onto us.” Raz stretches his legs, get the blood flowing again.

“Suck it up.” A flick of the wrist, and the jet rights itself above the lot, drawing dozens of eyes. “We had no choice. The mess over on the other Coast is… substantial.”

“Dipper got to pick.” Raz hops to his feet, bouncing on his heels. “I wanted the train.”

“And instead, you got the frog brain.” Even as she starts lowering the jet, Lili smirks up at him. “Life on this bitch of an Earth.”

Raz leaves the cockpit, but not before replying with a wry smile, “Weird, wild bitch of an Earth.”

“You two need something?”

The blonde one – Sasha – speaks first, after an age of the trio silently gawking at Raz and Lili’s approach.

“Miss Boonchuy, Miss Waybright, Miss Wu. Hello,” Lili greets, because she gets to go first, like they planned. “I am Agent Lili Zanotto, this is Agent Raz Aquato. We are with the Psychonauts.”

“Sup,” Raz adds.

Lili exhales through her polite smile.

Eight years. You’ve been an agent for eight years, Raz.

Raz’s smile curls wider.

And I still got it.

“You know us?” Another asks – Anne. She steps as if to shield her friends, born from instinct.

Lili maintains the cordial air. “Hard not to. You were responsible for some pretty incredible things.”

The spark shines in their eyes nearly all at once. A familiar look for a familiar feeling. The realization that when your world is turned upside down, you can’t ever really turn it rightside up. Have they reached acceptance? Probably not.

One of the girls at the back – Marcy, the person of interest here – seems especially spooked. Whispers of fleeing plague her surface thoughts. Might be time to step in.

“Also, we met. Hi again.” Raz waves at Anne.

Anne blinks, glances at her friends, then back at Raz. “We did?”

“Yep. Spent most of the time deeply apologizing for the stuff that X guy did. Sorry about that, again,” Raz says, adding a cringe. Then, for some humor. “I’m also the dingus who got his ass swatted out of the sky.”

“Oh dang, that’s you.” Anne’s jaw drops. “You’re still alive?”

“Eh. Been through worse.”

“Cool. Heartfelt reunion. Boutta bawl my eyes out.” Sasha’s turn to step in front of her friends, gaze narrowed and cold. “Now what do you government stooges want?”

Looks to be on the same wavelength as Lili. Raz nearly giggled.

“We are here because of your friend, Marcy.” Lili chooses her words carefully, clinically. “She was… cerebrally compromised, wasn’t she?”

Silence creeps out from the tree shades and overtakes this corner of the park. Anne and Sasha look towards each other, eyes lost, before both turn to the stone-faced Marcy.

“Was,” Marcy speaks, finally. “It’s gone now.”

“And we’re with you on that. We are sure it is,” Lili says. “We just want to make sure. A hundred percent sure. As Psychonauts, we can help you with that.”

Marcy’s tone is slow. “Help how?”

“We have a special device that allows us to enter a person’s mind. With your permission, we can easily hop in directly and have a look around. Nice and simple.”

Marcy is quiet, but not at all calm. Even without skimming her surface thoughts, Raz can tell.

“You want… to be let in?” Her voice drops lower and lower, like the shoreline receding before a tsunami. “You think, after what I’ve been through, I’ll ever let the door open again?!”

“Miss Wu, I promise the process is-”

The wave rushes back in full force. Marcy spins and runs off. Anne and Sasha don’t waste a second to follow her. Lili, cut off with her mouth agape, exhales a growl.

“You’re bad at teenage-girling.”

“Sorry I had to kill the girl to become the agent,” Lili retorts. “Where’s a Norman when you need one?”

“Norman’s better, but I’m not sure how effective he’d be to three teenage girls.”

“Good point.” Lili slides open her phone. “Where’s a Mabel when you need one?”

Not how Anne thought her day would go, but it never does ever since her thirteenth birthday. They caught up to Marcy at the edge of the park, faking a neutral face and steady hands. Anne wanted to push, but that scar is too raw, too fresh, for all three of them, so she zipped her lips for now. It’s almost lunchtime anyway, and she already promised earlier the day’s special at Thai Go.

“Alright, girls, mind cleanse,” Sasha says as she drops their plates on the table, sitting opposite Anne. “The past hour? We don’t see it. Never happened.”

Marcy, next to Sasha, is clutching her head, eyes closed. “Trying here, trust me.”

Still, something nags at the base of Anne’s memory. “But don’t those two look familiar, though?” she wonders aloud. “Feels like a pair of faces we’ve all seen before.”

“Pair of feces, more like. Eyoo!”

“Sash, serious. It’s right there, tip of my tongue, just need to brain harder…” Anne clenches her eyes shut, massaging her temples, trying to squeeze some good brain juice to spit out the name she needs. And it works. “The Mystery Kids!”

The name jolts her friends to attention. It’s a current that connects to the memory, connects to breaking newsreels, bold article headlines, and viral clips. Anne can see in their eyes, they recognize the name.

“Gotta be them! Those folks who legit saved the world a bunch of times.” Anne reaches across to grasp Marcy’s shoulders. “Marce, if they think something’s up-”

Marcy shrugs off her hands. “So what? We saved two at the same time, and no one gave us a degree or a certificate or anything. We’re still in middle school, they look like they’re in college. What qualifications do they have?” She hugs herself, suddenly so small. “For one last time, let’s just do what Sasha says, forget about it all, and just have lunch with- you!”

Mid-step, midway through Thai Go’s front door, a pair of Psychonaut agents pause. The goggled one points at himself. “Us?”

Sasha shoots out from her seat, spoon and fork on each hand like her old swords. “Case you didn’t know, stalking’s a crime.” She twirls the utensils, falling into a practised stance. “Or are you the types that think you’re above silly things like laws?”

“This is a restaurant. It’s lunchtime.”

“There are over 30.800 restaurants in Los Angeles. To have both our groups choose the same one is a statistical improbability!” Marcy rises and points at the agents like that fruity attorney. “You have a likely cause and intent. Now begone, government goggle-man!”

The man shrugs. “Sure, fine, the Boonchuys own the place, so we went here. Not a bad bet, yeah?”

“Ha! An admission!” Marcy slams a fist on the table.

“See you on the judge’s stand, stooges! When we win this case!”

“Alright, you two, chill.” Anne stands up, putting herself between her friends and the agents. She maintains a passive expression, eyeing the agents. “Mister Aquato and Miss Zanotto, right?”

“Oh, ew, let’s not pull out the big Ms, yeah? We’re, like, five years older than you.” He lounges back, arms behind his head. “Just Raz and Lili is fine.”

Anne has to admit, how disarming this Raz is, it’s nice. “How sure are you that Marcy has… Core leftovers in the brain?”

“Percentage-wise, zero,” Raz answers. “We’re not sure of anything. This is not a treatment, it’s a check-up. It’s going to your local GP twice a year.”

“Or, perhaps, therapy,” his partner, Lili, adds. “More direct than a conventional session, and by no means a replacement, but achieves roughly the same result.”

“Yeah, advanced therapy. Think of it that way, if it makes you feel better, Marcy.”

The direct name mention makes Marcy bristle, but at least she sits down.

“And like I was saying, the process is completely harmless.” Lili steeples her fingers together. “In addition, you will be in there, with us, the entire time. Everything we do, you’ll be aware of it.”

Anne watches her friends, closely. Sasha moves as if sheathing the utensils, eyes cast on her shoes. Marcy inhales a calming breath, cheeks tinted a smidge darker, tangling her fingers together.

“That’s… reassuring, right, girls?” Anne asks.

Marcy can’t quite lift her eyes. “Maybe my reaction earlier was a bit… premature.”

“You’re touchy about being prodded in the noggin’. That’s perfectly sensible,” Raz says.

“Plus, let’s not kid ourselves,” Sasha sighs with a joyless smile, “not going to therapy is how this all went to shit in the first place.”

“Still your decision to make, Marcy,” Raz says.

Marcy closes her eyes, thinking for a moment more. “Can Anne and Sasha come with?”

“Of course, Miss Wu.” Lili nods, razor thin smile on her lips. “First, we might want to move to a more private place?”

“My place is closest,” Anne offers. “That good with everyone?”

A general nod or agreeing noise comes from everyone.

“Gotcha. I’ll tell my folks. But first,” Anne flips a menu into her hand, offering it to the agents, “basil and squid special?”

“Side note,” Raz grins, “government goggle-man? Definitely going into my business card.”

“It will not.”

“Will to.”

“I outrank you.”

Raz chuckles, conceding.

After ‘accidentally’ running into the girls proved to be a smashing success, the lunch they shared afterwards smoothed out any remaining significant bumps between them. Anne, in particular, took on the lion’s share of convincing her friends. She’s got a certain aptitude and her particular experience really shines through in moments where it’s needed.

Next time they have seats open, Raz is definitely slotting her in as a candidate.

The short stroll to Anne’s house was lovely. Anne volunteered her room to be where the ‘advanced therapy’ takes place. Marcy is made to lie down on Anne’s bed with both her friends flanking her, holding her hands.

Lili stands next to Raz, holding the specialized Psycho-Portal with its underage safeguard removed, modified specifically for this extraordinary circumstance, and which will be promptly incinerated after the procedure is completed. Raz clasps his gloved hands together.

“Ready?”

Marcy breathes in, and out. “I’m all in.”

“Before we begin, Marcy,” Raz starts, “Some things you need to know, just in case we do discover… leftovers.”

She swallows the growing lump in her throat, listening close.

“When we’re in there, we can help you, support you, be a solid bedrock for you to lean on. You can count on us.” Raz offers his best reassuring smile. “But, ultimately, the results of this, whether we succeed or not, it’s up to you. You have to want it. Sometimes, wanting to win is the hardest thing.”

For a moment, her eyes flicker with doubt.

“She’s got this,” Sasha says, her hold on Marcy’s hand strengthening.

“Yeah. She’s been through the hardest thing. We all did.” Anne holds their joined hands close to her chest, the grip soft yet firm.

Just like that, the doubt is snuffed out.

Marcy closes her eyes. Lili places the Psycho-Portal on her forehead, then steps back.

The agents share one last, brief glance.

Might be bad in there.

Please. Nothing’s as bad as my not-grandma.

Lili concedes.

The Psycho-Portal opens. Light spills out, filling Raz’s vision. The hard part of his job begins.

This fic was commissioned by @rarsonic, who wanted to see Marcy be investigated by the Psychonauts, and the MK by extension, over potentially having some Core leftovers in the brain. Super sorry for the long delay. Been a hot minute since I wrote for any of these characters, and I was for sure rusty getting back into it. Still, here’s hoping you all can still enjoy it.

If any of y’all are interested in commissioning me, it’s still open, folks! Details are on the pinned post.

#psychonauts #amphibia #mystery kids #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright

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tsuki-sennin · 1 year

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*Deep breath* Wahahahaha~! Make way, peons! It's a festival, a festival I say! Coming to Sorashido City whether you like it or not! Wahahahaha! So... Princess Elle of Sky Land is feeling great sorrow? Well now... we can hardly have that now can we?

This tremendous sweet sixteen for Hirogaru Sky PreCure! Is it a worthy telling of such an iconic legend?

Oh, by the way, by the time you're likely reading this, it's the birthday of our very own Tsubasa Yuunagi~!

By the way, here be spoilers! You'd best tread with caution!

-Everywhere I go... I see his face. Tarou-san...

-Bwuh? Oh yeah, Ranborgs.

-And Captain Shalala just dipped.

-By the way Sora, I'm very proud of you for kicking so much ass last episode, you were awesome.

-Ageha, now hardly seems the time for puns.

-The birthday boy grits his teeth.

-Hello, Yoyo-san.

-"What's their fucking deal, Grandma?"

-Light and shadow. Heaven and Hell. North Carolina and South Carolina.

-Ohhhhhh!

-K

-Kira Kira Energy.

-...this feels oddly familiar.

-An apothecary~!

-Papa, Mama, yes~!

-Aw :(

-Kanashimi o taiji shite yu- No Tsuki! Restrain yourself. It's not yet time.

-Uhhhhh, theme song! I forget if I talked about it yet, but it's delightfully hopeful and (as expected of a Toei franchise) masterfully composed. The percussion especially is immaculate, a good percussion section knows exac

-Onitaijin.

-Ohhhh, puppet show~!

-Pretty Princess Butterfly.

-You are very based, Tsubasa. I forgive you, you filthy crimin- *Smack!* Focus!

-Momotaro~!

-We must hurry to Onigashima.

-Well, we could retell the story with an odd cast from previous seasons... Love/Peach would make a good Momotaro just off her name alone, you could make a strong argument for casting Kokone/Spicy or Akira/Chocolat as the dog, Asuka/Flamingo of course could be the pheasant as it's a neorinthe like a flamingo...

-I'm not quite sure who'd be the monkey in this case. ...Ako/Muse, perhaps? I'm genuinely not sure, I only started watching Suite a little while ago, but she does give me monkey vibes. Minori/Papaya'd make a good substitute if you don't think that counts though.

-She shreep

-Puppet play~!

-Don! Don! Donbura ko!

-Don Elletaro~! Fully formed and armed to the teeth!

-Prop recycling~! Wouldn't be a Toei production without it, huh?

-Well, you know how it is, Mashiron! Everybody loves to play with the tropes of fairy tales~! It's why we as a society love Shrek so much. And RWBY... and I guess if you're me, Saber.

-Yooooo! Nippon Ichi!

-Dango~!

-Furry Sora Jumpscare!

-Keep your face out of the kibble and we'll be just fine.

-Free Bread~!

-Elleeeetaro Zan, Elletaro Zan!

-And now... a Haiku.

Light from the blue sky

Caught in the shining prisms

Rainbows gayly form.

-Y'know, Shinichi would be giving Mashiro girl advice. And she'd go for it.

-We're all going pretty quick, eh? Mmmm... Momotaro had to do a bit of walking after.

-...there is a surprising (read: distressing) level of similarity between Tsubasa (Yuunagi, moderate amount of issues) and Tsuyoshi (Kijino, lots of issues).

-Y'know, male character in a predominantly female role, used for comic relief fairly often, being wildly popular among fans on Tumblr... all I'm saying is you might wanna keep an eye on Wing's love life. For his sake, and ours.

-We laughed, we cried, we had wacky misunderstandings, we had insane romance subplots, people died and came back, Kaito was there...

-To the port!

-Onigashima! Where the ogres gather.

-Ohhhhhhh

-There's something about the Underg, huh Granny?

-Elletaro's companions stand resolute in spite of their fears.

-This is the good stuff.

-...apparently the princess isn't quite a big fan. ...give it a few more minutes, it'll be really good.

-Here comes creepy Battamonda~! Who... most assuredly is not a Noto analogue. That's probably better reserved for Captain Shalala or from a certain perspective Kabaton.

-Oniiiiiiiiii~!

-Ageha may be voicing the Oni, but she's definitely no Haruka. ...if anything, she's much more of a Jiro type. Arguably even more so than whatever Fifth Cure we'll be getting.

-Hirogaru-ki!

-The special effects are ruined! Your suit budget is in shambles! The shippers are going apeshit!

-She walks!

-She speaks!

-She's done it!

-Baa~!

-The cloud has lifted.

-For Elletaro! Princess Elletaro~!

-...so uh... where're Sora's parents in all this?

-I don't mean to ruin this nice moment, but I find it a little concerning that they don't seem to have been appearing much.

-BIRDS

-"What up, fellas?"

-Instead of kidnapping, Battamonda prefers a spot of murder.

-Whoa, perfect catch!

-Hell yeah, Prism Punch!

-I love how floaty these fight scenes are.

-Down they go!

-Eat my ass, Battamonda.

-Keep moving forward! The princess says so!

-Wahahahahahahahaha! Shine on, dear companions!

-Whoa! Flash Bang!

-Man, the Sky Mirage just seems like a really neat little toy to play with.

-Into the mirror~! Okay!

-Mermaid Aqua Pot Moment.

-Have you considered maybe you're just a moron?

-Thank you again, Elle-chan.

-Walk style.

-Elletaro-san~! Elletaro-san~!

-Bread...

-So let's get the party started~! Don Don, Iitokomikke~! Tokuige! Ni mune harou ze Brother! WOO!

-Ah, uh, outro, outro! Very catchy, love the rhyme structure, the Butterfly teasing is making me seethe and cope, get your skinny ass in there already babe.

-Mashiron must run! And never look back!

-Now if you excuse me, I do believe I have an installment of a certain other franchise to get back to. One that also involves floating sky kingdoms, ancient legends, knights and heroes, a pig-themed villain, wildly bucking franchise conventions, gender stuff, and horrifying underground monstrosities.

-...look I could've just said "Zelda" and there'd have been no question, but that's okay, see youuuuuu~!

#Hop! Step! Jump! Hero Gals Dream of the Everlasting Sky!#hirogaru sky spoilers #hirogaru sky pretty cure #hirogaru sky precure #precure

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farfromsugafanfic · 1 year

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Dangerous | Chapter 6: Morello

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Bad Boy!Jimin, Bartender!Reader College AU

Pairing: Jimin/Named Reader

Rating: M | Minors DNI

Chapter Warnings: jealousy, slight angst

A/N: I know it's been literally forever since I updated this. I don't really have a good reason, but I'm hoping to get the rest of the chapters queued up to release over the next couple of weeks.

You're almost late to class as you had forgotten your water bottle and only realized when you'd already walked halfway. You'd just managed to get to class with a couple of minutes to spare, but you'd already worked up a sweat.

Luckily, your normal spot next to Eunha was free and you slid into it. You looked around the room, not spotting Jimin at all. While normally you kept your gaze away from the boy, you knew the two of you needed to discuss what happened the night before. It was obvious he remembered otherwise he wouldn't have left or would've at least left a note like he usually did.

The instructor came in and class started. Jimin was nowhere among the crowd of dancers and as the music started, you couldn't shake the feeling from the back of your neck that it was because of you.

Class went by as usual other than Jimin wasn't there. It wasn't just you that seemed to notice his missing presence, you noticed your classmates looking around and glancing at each other, shrugging. When class ended, your instructor the typical shuffling when the music shut off.

"Remember to continue working on your piece for the final showcase," she said. "It's going to take the entire semester to perfect and I want it to show a culmination of the styles you have come to perfect and love. I want to feel who you are through your dance. Keep that in mind as you're choreographing."

As you gathered your things, you thought about Jimin's suggestion to include some ballet in your routine. While you could include some of the simpler moves and foot positions, doing anything iconically recognizable as ballet without risking re-injuring or hurting yourself in some other way. But, you knew Jimin was right, pushing your body to its extremes was the point of dancing. Bruises on your knees, injuries, sore muscles, they were all just part of the job.

You tossed your backpack over your shoulders and walked back towards your apartment. you caught a glimpse of a familiar black motorcycle parked outside the building. You looked up and saw Jimin leaning against it, he wasn't facing your way. You were just about to grab his attempt when you heard someone behind you.

"Jimin!" Eunha ran out from behind you and rushed towards him. "Why weren't you in class?"

"Ah, it was nothing. I didn't feel well, but I feel much better now that you're here." He handed her his second helmet as she climbed on the motorcycle behind him. Her thighs where yours usually sat and her arms wrapped around his middle.

You rolled your eyes before Jimin could notice you and headed towards your apartment. You couldn't fight off the sour taste in your mouth. It wasn't so much jealousy as it was sadness that you'd just been beginning to think that maybe Jimin had changed.

[][][]

The club was oddly busy for a weeknight. You filled and refilled drinks constantly and shook cocktails nearly every second. You barely registered the music as you worked.

As the night went on, the bar finally started to empty out when you had an hour left in your shift. There was only one man left at the bar and the majority of patrons at the club were focused on dancing. You recognized the man sitting at the end of the bar. He'd hung around Jimin and his friends the few times you'd seen them all together and you were introduced to him once, but his name evaded you. He was the quiet type, nearly never danced, preferred to just sit at the bar and sip whiskey or sit at the side.

You'd occasionally catch his eyes slip over someone on the dancefloor. His eyes moving from their head down to their toes and lingering a little on the way down, but he never did anything about it. You'd even caught him checking you out a few times, but he would simply just look away and take a sip of his drink as if his eyes hadn't just been roaming the curve of your ass.

The thing was, while he checked out you and various other people at the club, he never approached them or had anyone approach him, which was the part you couldn't understand. He was attractive. A bit short for some tastes, but his pouty lips and slim figure very much made up for it.

You watched as his long fingers wrapped nearly around the glass as he sipped again. He locked eyes with you again, a smirk on his face that you could just barely make out through the glass. By the time he'd placed his glass back down on the bar, he was straight-faced again.

You almost wanted to laugh at the way he was toying with you. You looked away, a slight blush on your cheeks. You unintentionally found yourself locking eyes with Jimin as he walked into the club with his arm wrapped around Eunha.

He winked as he and Eunha made their way to the dancefloor. She began grinding on him almost immediately and you had to look away before you puked all over the bar.

You didn't blame Eunha. Nearly every girl in your class would've killed to be in her position, but you wished that you could warn her before Jimin broke her heart. But, based on the way she looked at him through her eyelashes and smiled at him like he was a lost puppy, you knew she was too far gone.

Your stomach turned and you almost the man at the end of the bar attempting to get your attention. Considering he was the only one at the bar (and cute), you didn't mind him shouting over the music for you to refill his glass. Most of the time it came off as obnoxious, but there was something about him that caused you not to mind.

"You seem different," he said. "You aren't checking me out anymore."

"What?" you asked.

"I'm not oblivious. I thought we were having some fun."

"Mmm, yeah, just saw someone I didn't really want to."

"Old boyfriend?"

"I guess you could say that."

Yoongi drunk down half his whiskey before setting back down on the bar. "It's Jimin, right?"

"Uh, yeah," you said.

"He told us everything about you and your plan to get back at him." Yoongi chuckled, fingering the rim of the glass and looking up at you. "He kind of deserves it honestly. He was still going from girl to girl until he met you again."

"What do you mean?"

"After that night you two almost hooked up, he hasn't seen anyone else. Well, I guess until tonight. Normally, he was with a different girl every week, sometimes 2 or 3 a week."

You rolled your eyes. "Still the old Jimin, I guess."

"I wouldn't be too sure. He doesn't seem too happy that you're paying so much attention to me right now."

You glanced over in his direction and you caught Jimin's hard gaze on the two of you. He didn't seem focused on Eunha at all, beyond his hands on her hips.

"I don't know. He's seemed mad at me since last night. God, knows why."

Yoongi's roamed over you again and he finished the rest of his glass. "When are you off?"

You pulled out your phone. "Like twenty minutes."

"Want me to help you out? Your goal was to hook up with all his friends, right?"

"Kind of," you said. "I mostly just want to make him get a taste of his own medicine. What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Well, I don't really care for dancing like Hoseok, but I have heard that I'm a pretty good kisser and well, I wouldn't mind kissing you."

[][][]

When you got off, you took off your apron and passed it on to the next bartender, thankfully not Chul-soo. You ducked into the bathroom and freshened up your makeup.

You hadn't dressed up that night. You wore a simple scoop neck, long-sleeved T-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. You let your hair out of its ponytail and reapplied your lipstick. You could already feel your body coursing with anticipation at the thought of kissing Yoongi, as you'd come to learn his name.

He'd stressed he wasn't looking for anything serious and didn't expect anything from you afterward, which was music to your ears. There was nothing you loved more than getting to have some fun without the expectation of owing him something.

You emerged back out to the club to see Jimin and Eunha at the bar. It was obvious he waited until you were off to order drinks. You barely glanced as you passed by, but felt his eyes follow you as you approached Yoongi who still sat at on the bar stool on the end.

"Hey Handsome," you said, flashing him a smile. "I'm off."

He smiled, his gums showing and it made him look adorable, in great contrast to the sexy and serious personality you'd seen so far, and you loved it.

Yoongi got up from his seat, abandoning the rest of his whiskey and wrapping his arm around your waist.

"Wait," you said. You reached for the half full whiskey and downed the rest of it, enjoying the burn in the back of your throat. "Can't waste good whiskey."

"God, you're hot," Yoongi said, a chuckle in his voice as he pulled you away from the bar and to one of the tables along the wall of the club. He sat down in the chair and his eyes widened as you climbed on top of him and straddled him immediately.

"Eager?"

"Tipsy," you said.

"Just from that little bit of whiskey?"

"I might've snuck a couple shots on my break."

You smirked as your lips brushed his neck and his hands came down to grip your hips. "Think this old chair will hold us?"

"Mm, well, I guess it if breaks you'll just have to catch me."

You smirked as you gripped either side of his face and brought your lips to his. He tasted bitter with just a bit of sweetness on his tongue, like whiskey. There was still alcohol on his breath and his lips causing a familiar burn as you pulled apart.

"Wow, you are a good kisser."

"Don't get too attached, baby. Remember, this is just a one-time thing."

"Better savor it then."

You attached your lips to his again as you felt his hands move from your hips. One came to rest where your neck met your head, tangled in your head. He used the other to loop two fingers into one of your belt loops.

"He looks pissed," Yoongi said.

"Good."

You knew that kissing Jimin just the night before and then making out with one of his friends the next night was low, but Jimin had given you no explanation on why he was avoiding you or why he was suddenly with Eunha. Was it toxic? Yes. Was it unhealthy? Probably. Did you care? No.

"I think we should go home," he said. "Before either of us does something we regret."

You nodded, feeling the alcohol beginning to wear off and your body beginning to feel weighed down. "I'm getting tired anyway. Walk me out?"

You got up from Yoongi's lap and held your hand out to him with a small, lazy smile. He stood up and took it, returning your smile, although unfortunately not showing his teeth in the cute way he had earlier.

As you walked out of the club hand in hand with Yoongi, you caught Jimin's eye once again. He was sitting at the bar while Eunha was trying to pull him back out to the dancefloor. He was sweaty and his hair stuck to his forehead. You wanted nothing more than push his hair back and run your hands through like he always liked to do himself.

He quickly withdrew his eyes from you and went back to drinking. You could see he was still sober, only drinking a lemonade. If he was drinking, there would've been bottles on the bar.

[][][]

"You don't have to walk me home," you said, pulling your hands from Yoongi's.

"Are you sure? I don't mind."

"It's not far," you said. "I usually walk home. Don't worry."

He nodded and headed off in the opposite direction. You crossed your arms as the night air bit through the fabric of your clothes. You were nearly halfway home when you heard the familiar rumble of a motorcycle and you watched as Jimin passed you with Eunha on the back.

You just continued down the sidewalk as you felt your eyelids beginning to droop. It was too cold for you to actually fall asleep, but you couldn't wait to get back to your apartment and fall into your bed.

You'd just crosswalk that meant you were halfway home when you the motorcycle again. He pulled up to the sidewalk just as the walk sign flashed on the opposite side of the road. He reached back and held out the second helmet.

"Get on," he said.

You knew you couldn't decline, even you wanted to. While you knew from the harbored tone of Jimin's voice that was still mad at you, but the idea of closing your eyes and resting against Jimin's back was too tempting to pass up.

You fastened on the helmet and climbed on behind Jimin. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your head between his shoulder blades. You'd ridden on his motorcycle so much that you'd begun to feel comfortable. The air whipped around you and the feel of his body around yours.

"Yoongi should've made sure you got home okay."

"I told him not to."

"He shouldn't have listened."

You rolled your eyes as the motorcycle lurched in the direction of your apartment. The ride wasn't long and you were slightly disappointed as he parked outside your complex.

"Thanks," you said.

He just nodded and motioned for you to go upstairs.

"Jimin, I'll be fine. Just go."

"Inna, don't argue with me. Text me when you're in safely."

You sighed and walked up to your apartment and walked inside immediately shooting Jimin a text before falling onto your bed.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

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tr4gictea · 26 days

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True Meaning: Prologue

Isekai teen!reader + Genshin Impact

❥Masterlist

Tags: none

Including: Introduction to the reader

word count: 1,309 words

A/n: Imma be honest, I thought I posted this story on Wednesday but apparently I just saved it to my drafts 😭.

This is a series that I want to start if you guys want me to, if not then I will still be posting this story along with my regular one-shots, headcanons, and stories but not as regularly. But if do want this to continue leave a note down below so I know that you guys like this and want more content of this story. :P

Next...

True Meaning Table of Content ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

Your head was pounding, it felt like someone took a sword and stabbed it right through your head. Around you were tall trees with glowing blue flowers surrounding the bases of the trees. You don't know how you got here, one moment you were playing genshin in bed, then a voice called out to you.

"(Y/n), your soul is not of this world, you must move to the next," And all of a sudden you were lying on the muddy grass.

You got up and looked around, there was none in sight other than two slim foxes in the distance. Where were you? Exploring the area ahead you saw a small rock formation that looked like a little bear, and next to it was a bundle of lit candles.

Continuing on you follow the stream next to you. On your way you pass by some small statues that you could compare to puppies or bear cubs. The path looked oddly familiar to you, it felt like you had walked down it before. You walk for about ten minutes passing by Japanese style gates before you spot an... electro seelie?!

These only exist in genshin?! This cant be real! Wait. This can't be real, because it is a dream! That's why that path seemed so familiar! You smiled to yourself, proud that you “figured” it out.

But if you are dreaming of the world of genshin that means you can explore the real Inazuma yourself! You've explored the Inazuma area hundreds of times so trying to find Inazuma City shouldn't be hard too. Plus the Raiden Shogun's home is so big that you could see it from miles away.

You walk down the path careful not to alert the hullichurl camps of your presence and make it to the village homes right outside of Inazuma city. When walking in you are greeted by a large tree with pink leaves falling down onto the ground.

As you pass by the villagers give you weird looks. They look you up and down then turn away from you. What's up with them? You wonder as you dust off your baggy black shirt that says 'return of the vampurrr' with a woman screaming at a giant cat and then shoving your hands in your teenage mutant in turtle pajama pants pockets. Wait, you have your sleeping clothes on. Maybe that's why they're giving you weird looks. The only thing that would maybe be okay for you to wear is the Vivienne Westwood Necklace you got off of amazon for 15 dollars. The orb in the middle of the necklace which was originally silver turned into a clear ball almost as if it was made of glass. Well, this is a dream so these people can deal with your choice of clothing.

You continue down the path and head up stone stairs where you see Yoimiya's firework shop and Hajime's blacksmith. He looks hard at work and for the first time you see him move away from the anvil and head to the fire.

I guess my dreams took a little creative liberty you thought as you walked past them. Everything in the city felt more lively than in the games. You saw more kids running up and down the streets, adults talking in groups, and even a pack of doushin traveling out of the city with Kujuo Sara leading them. You had a more creative imagination than you thought.

You walked by so many iconic places in the games that amazed you. Like the sango detective agency and Yae Publishing House. You even passed by Shouta, the little boy who's always offering stuff to the archons.

It couldn't hurt to talk to him and besides he had his hands clasped together and aggressively saying “pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” over and over again. "Whatcha doing?" You ask about appearing behind him.

"I've heard that I can make a wish to the archon once I have placed the offering in the shrine. If the archon likes my offering, my wish will definitely be granted." he excitedly points to the shrine which has Konpeito candies placed at its base. He sounds exactly like he does in the game. You wonder how realistic your dream is. "I have brought all of my snacks here today, and I'd like to wish that the archon will cancel the exam tomorrow!"

"Have you gotten your wish yet?" You question. You know what he's gonna say but you're just curious to hear his voice lines.

"Hmm... It works about once in a dozen times... Last time, I wished bad luck upon someone who bullied me, and then he flunked his exam, haha!" He kept talking and brought up Yoimiya offering him fireworks and Itto as he describes 'big guy with the horns'.

Once he finishes talking he goes off script and asks "Why are you dressed like that?"

This question catches you off guard which causes you to stutter. "I, um well... I... bye." And with that, you turn on your heel and walk in the other direction leaving him with a confused look on his face. You didn't know how to answer that so you just left. Besides this wouldn't affect you as this was all a dream, you told yourself.

You continue walking past the Inazuma Katheryne staring lifelessly at nothing. You continued through Inazuma, still getting weird looks from the locals, but you finally made it to the place you wanted to see all this time. The Raiden Statue.

She was so much taller than she was in the game. Her hands were about as big as the two of you. The wings had glowing visions on them, you could only assume that the vision hunt decree was still in effect.

Looking at all the visions had you thinking about elemental power. If I'm here and not technically from this world does that mean that I can gain elemental powers by touching the statute of seven? Am I the traveler frfr?!?! As soon as the thought crossed your mind you raced to get to Ritou. You almost nearly catch the attention of some hilluchurls but are quick to get away from them. Arriving at Ritou you waste no time in looking at the shops around you and head straight to the Statue of Seven. It looks worn down and beat up. You go up to it and reach your hand out as the traveler did in the games and touch it. As you do, a crackle of electro power pops out of the statue and falls into your body. Looking down you see the originally clear orb of your Vivienne Westwood pendant now glowing electro-light.

"Woah," You reach your hand out and imagine a burst of electro coming out of your fingers and then... Nothing? Your hand remains the same and no elemental powers come out of you.

"Hmm... Maybe I'm supposed to say something... Uhh, aberacdabera!"

BOOM!

A large sudden burst of electro energy burst through your hands and hits a nearby tree, splitting it in half

"S-shit!" I hope none heard that...

"It came from over the wall, let's go around,"

Nope they definitely heard that, I have to go.

You set off running on the opposite side of the path you came up from. You snuck your way back into the Ritou market. And you spent the rest of your dream walking around Ritou until you started to feel tired.Hmm, that's weird, can you get tired in dreams? Maybe this is the dream's way of telling me it's over... But I don't wanna go... I still haven't seen Liyue or Fontaine yet... You try to steady yourself on a nearby tree when you fall over in exhaustion. Even if it was only for a day you still enjoyed your time here. Maybe you'd have another dream like this again…

More Genshin Impact Stories *ੈ✩‧₊˚

True Meaning Table of Content ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

This is a series that I want to start if you guys want me to, if not then I will still be posting this story along with my regular one-shots, headcanons, and stories but not as regularly. But if you do want this to continue leave a note down below so I know that you guys like this and want more content about this story :P

Thank you for reading <3

#genshin impact #genshin x teen reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin #genshin x gn reader #platonic genshin x reader #genshin x child reader #platonic #isekai #genshin inazuma #inazuma

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n0bamak1s · 3 years

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clueless - maki zenin x reader

request: “I was thinking Maki Zenin x Fem reader where y/n is really intimidated by Maki and has avoided her since they first met each other. Despite that, they both have feelings for each other and after a while Maki gets annoyed with y/n and confronts her to figure out why she keeps avoiding Maki. And then the reader accidentally confesses and says something like “how could I not feel intimidated by someone so hot!?”” - @wh0legrain

summary: it’s difficult for you to read maki’s intent when she tries to become more approachable to you, which throws of your plan of trying to avoid her at all costs. alternatively titled: maki zenin is terrible at flirting (genre: fluff, attempt at humor, idiots to lovers)

warnings: like one or two swear words, mentions of bruises/scrapes from training

word count: 2.6k

a/n: i honestly had so much fun with the dynamic between maki and reader here! i love the idea that maki would have no idea how to flirt lmao

“don’t look now, but she’s looking at you again.” panda, your current sparring partner, peered at her over your shoulder as you got into a fighting position. of course, out of curiosity you immediately turned around, and unluckily for your own ego, you made direct eye contact with maki. she seemed to have no intent of backing down from your impromptu staring contest, intense black eyes remaining on you, and had you not been so focused on trying to figure out what had caused this sudden interest in you, you’d have noticed the amused glint in her eyes.

did she really have no shame in being caught staring at you?

before giving yourself any more time to process her expression, you whipped your head back around to face panda. at least you were able to take note of the amusement on his face.

“i don’t get why she keeps glaring at me.” you huffed annoyedly, still feeling her gaze burn into the back of your head. shouldn’t she be busy sparring with inumaki? “if it’s about that one time i borrowed her uniform skirt because mine was in the wash, she should be more mad about inumaki and gojo taking it every time she’s on a mission to try it on.”

panda had a shocked expression on his face, as if to ask why the hell you knew about the boys prancing around in the girl’s skirts whenever the opportunity arose, but it was quickly wiped off to be replaced by a knowing sort of smile.

“no, i doubt that’s why.” his voice rang with the sing-songy sound of knowing something you didn’t, but you simply chose to raise an annoyed eyebrow at his annoying little game rather than question him.

even as you ran at him, fists raised defensively, you swore you could still feel a pair of sleek eyes trailing your movements. you slid to dodge panda’s swing at you, leaving a layer of dirt on the hem of your shorts. despite succeeding in avoiding sparring with maki, which admittedly sounded absolutely brutal, you felt extremely ungrateful for panda’s strength as he lifted you up by the wrist. somehow he managed to end up with you flipped onto your back, despite your best efforts to sweep his legs out from under him. if losing to a literal panda in a fight wasn’t embarrassing enough, it didn’t help that this was the moment maki had decided to suddenly start paying attention to you, a fact you became acutely aware of as she hovered over you, her figure shadowed by the sun behind you.

“you okay?” she cocked an eyebrow, extending a hand to pull you to your feet, making you suddenly conscious of how her legs were positioned on either side of you, so you laid beneath her. when you were unable to sputter out a response, she sighed softly, leaning down so she knelt with her knees resting on the dirt on either side of your thighs. a hand waves in front of your face, and makis brows furrow slightly. “did you hit your head or something because of that idiot?” she cocked a thumb at your sparring partner.

something about her sudden proximity seemed to shock you out of your distracted daze, making you push yourself up so you held yourself by palms flat on the ground. taking note of how close your face was to hers, the corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk, her lips parting slightly to show her teeth. you weren’t even sure if she was aware of the fact that she was smiling right now, or the effect she was having on your already embarrassed state as she leaned over you, her figure shadowing yours.

why was she so intent on making fun of you?

“i’m fine!” you managed to blurt out, pulling your knees close to you to escape the compromising position she’d put the both of you in.

her eyes remained playfully narrowed and her lips turned up, but as she opened her mouth to say something, you practically sprung up from the ground as if you weren’t bruised and tired from fighting, turning on your heel to go back to panda. you flashed an awkwardly apologetic smile, before shrouding yourself in panda’s shadow.

you found yourself grateful for the shadow panda cast on you, as it shielded your eyes from the sun, and the glare you knew was inevitably resting behind maki’s glasses.

the four of you remained sparring until the first glimpse of heavy gray clouds masqueraded the blistering sun. you helped panda up from where he’d laid on the ground, spotting out of the corner of your eye none other than gojo, who looked almost comical inspecting the state of the sky with his usual dopey smile while still adorning his iconic blindfold. had you not known any better, you’d say he looked like a complete idiot.

on the other hand, maki, who did know better, seemed to have no problem stating that he did, in fact, look like a complete idiot.

“so are you just gonna stand there all day, moron? or do you actually have something important to say for once.” maki crossed her arms over her chest, making her jacket taut over her muscles, catching your attention for the briefest of moments. you quickly averted your eyes back to gojo in hopes of not being caught staring as she had earlier, as if you were a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. though you couldn’t see gojos eyes, you could sense a sort of mischief from him as he smiled at you. was today just some weird holiday where people stared at you for no reason that no one had informed you about?

“you guys seem to have the sky on your side today.” gojo smiled widely as his gaze flickered between the four of you lined up in front of him. “since it seems to be about to rain, you guys can get off a little early today, just go clean up in the bathrooms if you need to.” he waved his hands at you all, in a motion that seemed to be shooing you away.

you begin to feel the beginnings of drizzling rain hitting the tip of your nose, and the top of your head, and take that as your cue to leave. letting out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding in, you unzipped and shrugged off your hoodie, throwing it over your shoulder as you turned towards the heavy doors of the school building. you’d only gotten a couple steps closer than you’d been before you heard the familiar sound of your name, called from the less familiar source that was maki zenin.

“wait up!” she called, taking long strides to catch up to you. “if we’re cleaning up now, i’ll come with you and i can help you if you got scraped or anything.” her hand rubbed the back of her neck, and a soft smile cracked onto her lips, egging you on to respond.

you furrowed your brows slightly. she had never bothered to help you out like this before, so what made it different. “i think i’ll be fine.” you hoped your embarrassment at the idea of the situation didn’t show on your face.

“tch, it’s not like i’m planning to kill you in there or anything.” honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if she had been. “it’ll just be weird if we’re both patching ourselves up in silence when there’s clearly a more efficient way to do it.”

screw her for always being correct.

you nodded your head in agreement in a way that was comically defeated. she motioned for you to follow her, and so you trailed behind her like a lost puppy.

though you had no way to prove it, you could’ve sworn that gojo winked at you from underneath his blindfold as you passed him.

the two of you walked in silence that seemed comfortable for you, but maki seemed clearly impatient.

“i wanted to check on you and ask if you were alright.” she broke the silence, pulling off her rain stained glasses to wipe them on the edge of her shorts. “you seemed really frazzled earlier, so if you hit your head or something we can take you to shoko, i wouldn’t want you to get seriously hurt or something.”

you were somewhat surprised by her words, but feigned indifference as you smiled reassuringly. “i’m fine, was just kinda lost in my thoughts earlier. guess you kinda just caught me off guard.” you were telling the truth, so why did it feel as if you were lying straight through your teeth?

as she swung open the girls bathroom door, she gave you an incredulous look, as if she was trying to recall the events of the day that could have made you so tense. you hoisted yourself up to sit on the sink, leaning back with a sigh of relief from finally relaxing your muscles. maki grabbed the small first aid kit, positioning herself to stand between your legs,a position that was oddly reminiscent of when you’d been on the field earlier. she caught your wrist in your hand, causing you to jump slightly as her eyes scanned your forearm, riddled with some bruises from training, but nothing that really needed cleaning.

“what could i have possibly done to catch you off guard?” her words sounded concerned, but contrasted the teasing smile playing at her lips. under the fluorescent lights, you could make out the flush tinted on her cheeks from being outside all day, as if she’d been kissed by the sun herself.

suddenly you felt very shy, twiddling with your thumbs in your lap, and willing your eyes anywhere but where they’d meet maki’s. to her, your current flustered state was an amusing contrast to how you were when fighting curses, your usual confident and strong willed demeanor had been replaced with the attitude of a bashful school girl. still, you knew you’d have to be confrontational in this moment.

“please stop teasing me, maki.” you looked her dead in the eyes, wiping the amusement from her face, and swapping it with a mixture of shock and worry.

“i’m not making fun of you.” she shook her head, her already pink dusted cheeks turning more red. “what makes you think I am?”

you chucked humourlessly. “well if the glaring at me wasn’t enough, you seem to keep trying to embarrass me. if it’s because of that time i borrowed your skirt without telling you, i really am sorry, but stop trying to make fun of me.”

“when did you borrow my skirt? i always just assume it’s the boys being idiots. you can borrow my skirt anytime you want.” you wished you could be mad at her for her nonchalance. “besides, YOU’RE the one who’s always avoiding me, panda told me i should try to be more approachable, so i thought eye contact might help.” she shrugged exasperatedly, placing her hands flat on sink, resting on either side of your thighs.

“well, you don’t exactly have the most approachable face when you’re making ‘eye contact.’ you had me thinking you were plotting my downfall in your head or something.” she stifled a laugh at your overdramatization. “it was totally intimidating.”

“oh?” her smile was dopey, one that only you would be flustered by. “does that mean i make you nervous?” her voice was hushed as she tilted her head downwards toward you, looking satisfied with herself.

“well you’re gonna make anyone nervous if you’re sending them death glares one second and offering to clean their wounds the next.”

her only response was a laugh as she buried her face in her hands. it wasn’t a mean laugh, not one directed at you, more so just her laughing at what idiots the both of you were being.

“you really thought i hated you?” her words were spaced apart by involuntary giggles, her mouth was stretched into a wide grin, almost like one from gojo. “man, i thought i was so obvious!” she turned to hoist herself next to you on the sink, leaning her head on your shoulder as her whole body shook from laughter.

you said nothing in response, just processing if this moment was real. you’d hardly seen maki smile before today, let alone laugh.

“you mean to tell me you’ve spent all this time avoiding me because you thought i hated you?” admittedly, when she repeated it back to you after her outburst of laughter, it did sound rather ridiculous. but to be fair, she should’ve considered the possibility before her sorry attempt to be more approachable.

“it’s not my fault you scare the crap out of me, i mean, how could i not be intimidated by someone so hot!” your mouth moves faster than your brain, and she lifts her head from your shoulder, making you hyper aware of both your words and your sudden proximity to her face.

shit.

your eyes are wide as saucers as you stare at her, convinced that, like a dinosaur, if you don’t move, she won’t even notice you’re there. much to your dread, she smiles yet again (seriously, today alone make up a solid 90% of the times you’d ever seen her smile.)

“you’re such a dumbass, you know?” you can hear the laughter threatening to bubble up in her voice. you wish you could come up with a clever comeback, but you just stared back, moth gaping like a fish out of water. “the reason i was asking panda for advice was because i like you. in hindsight, i suppose he’s probably not the most reliable when it comes to relationship advice.”

“all you really got out of following his advice was making a fool out of me.” you looked down at your feet. “but i guess i kind of did that myself anyways.”

“don’t beat yourself up about it. it’s cute.” she leaned forward so she was in your peripheral, willing you to look at her. “plus if you weren’t such an idiot, i’d have to keep sending you ‘death glares’, as you like to call them, to get your attention.” she chuckled, and you lifted your hand to shove her playfully, before she caught your wrist effortlessly, tugging slightly so you could feel her breath fan on your face.

once again, your mouth moved before you had time to think. “maki...can i kiss you?” you’d taken note of how her eyes darted between your eyes and your lips.

it was her turn to be bashful now. she nodded slowly, her eyes half lidded, as she dared to close the small amount of distance between the both of you. without second thought, you press your lips to hers tenderly, letting your arms loop around her neck, hands meeting between her shoulder blades. her eyelashes tickle your face as they flutter closed, with her hands balancing her, palms flat on the sink counter. the pitter pattering sound of rain from outside echoed in you ears.

the kiss is messy and awkward, but in that moment, you felt on top of the world, smiling into it without a care in the world as your fingers played with the ends of her ponytail. you break away reluctantly for air, taking in the dopey smile on her face, and the way her hands reached to grab yours to hold in her own, rubbing small circles in the back of your hand with her calloused thumb. her breathing is soft and steady, clearly still readjusting after your kiss. wordlessly, she leans forward to rest her head on your shoulder, so you can feel her breath hit the crook of your neck, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“thank god you’re such an idiot.”

#maki zenin x reader #maki zenin x you #maki x reader #zenin maki x reader #maki zenin x y/n #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk headcanons #jjk imagines #maki zenin imagine #maki zenin #zenin maki

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pythi-the-drawing-writer · 2 years

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Let's Talk About Wind Waker Ganondorf

To preface, this isn't gonna be some professional deconstruction or educated/educational essay, this is just me ranting about a favorite video game series and favorite character in said series.

So without further ado, let's rant about, in my opinion, the best villain in the entire Legend of Zelda series as of yet. The Wind Waker incarnation of Ganondorf

Visual Design: the first thing you notice and see when this guy shows up on screen. He's pretty freaking tall as per usual although he's noticeably a lot rounder, similar body type to his classic large chunky pig form from LttP although obviously more human, he still has his topaz jewelry from OoT and as per usual the iconic Dark Red, Black, and Gold color scheme.

Although the part of this design that's the most interesting is his clothing, it's very different from every other major appearance. Every human Ganondorf wears some form of armor or what seems to be some kind of armored Gerudo clothing in the case of OoT, even his beast forms from older games are usually seen in armor. But in WW he's wearing robes, specifically a somewhat modified Shenyi, but no armor, battle gear or anything. In this case his build and clothing are a lot more similar to the King of Hyrule, a nice little piece of contrast between the two and also establishes his looks as more of an ancient king rather than the conquering tyrant off OoT and TP.

Characterization and Story: The first few mentions of him already frame him as the terrifying king of darkness and all that everyone's already familiar with, helps that it's mentioned how no one dares to fuck with the Fortress. Then how do we actually meet him for the first time? We got caught by his pet bird and with barely any acknowledgement we are tossed into the ocean like a rat being tossed out of someone's home. Already intimidating, threatening, and just leagues above you to the point he doesn't give a shit about this dumbass child who thought he was hot shit. Pretty big contrast to OoT where we see him directly glare at us when he knows we're spying and personally takes us out , still intimidating but it's acknowledgement that means he's certainly considering us.

Next interaction, you get to him with the Master Sword but he is completely unphased even when you try to slash at him cause he already knows it's useless because he's already killed the sages to make sure it wouldn't work. In this instance we certainly do get acknowledged but we're acknowledged as an idiotic fool who made a useless attempt that would never work and he would certainly have killed us right there had we not just barely escape thanks to some friends. Confident, cunning, and ruthless that's the new characterization

And now the last major interaction, in sunken Hyrule. And this is where his characterization turns sympathetic with the infamous Oceans and Winds Speeches. The Oceans speech is filled with hatred and bitterness at the world, the people, and the gods although interestingly he emphasizes how, quote, "Your gods destroyed you". The most interesting thing about the Winds speech is that the tone it carries is very reminiscent, mournful and filled with a cold solace, barely any malice or evil within this speech. And with the context of the Oceans speech the line from the previous seems more directed at himself and the Gerudo. It frames him as having nothing to lose because everything has already been lost

And then, Ganondorf's laughing scene. The King has already stolen his wish from the triforce and has used it to destroy Hyrule once and for all and yet Ganondorf is laughing although oddly his laughter also sounds a bit like he's crying, with no more Hyrule he truly has nothing left to gain anymore just how he has nothing to lose. The King wished for a future for Link and Tetra and left Ganondorf with no more future possible so he takes his swords to fight properly to make sure they don't have a future either. With the only thing to gain here being just a final bit of catharsis against the Hero and princess who have plagued him across generations. And then the final words, "the wind... Is blowing" in the moment of his death he takes that singular moment to feel the final few winds of Hyrule, the winds that he coveted before it and he are overtaken by the ocean that took everything from him and that no matter what, despite the endless miles in any direction he couldn't escape.

One last thing I'd like to point out is that in every other game Ganondorf has someone else working for him, someone trying to unseal/resurrect him, some kingdom or tribe to manipulate, some lackey to do the dirty work, but in Wind Waker it's just him alone, no extra faction no second hand bad guy, no grand organizations or anything to manipulate. Like said he has nothing, nothing to lose or use.

It's been pointed out by quite a few that the cycle of the Hero, the Goddess, and Demise is a tragedy, and no more is that apparent than in Wind Waker, our hero just an ordinary boy who's not even close to related to any other heroes, our princess a girl who had made her own way in life and was happy with it, and our Demise a broken man who's works have drowned under endless ocean

Wind Waker Ganondorf is certainly an evil man and his sympathy does not discredit that. You might not be able to relate to him but you can Understand him. Wind Waker Ganondorf is my favorite Ganondorf because of the sheer nuance that went into him, the powerful characterization and design that went into him. This man is a large part of why I personally consider Wind Waker to be the Best Legend of Zelda game.

#Legend of Zelda #LoZ #Ganondorf #WW Ganondorf #Wind Waker #rant #character design

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sleepingdeath-light · 3 years

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Dimension Traveller Headcanons | Hunter [Golden Guard]

requested by @serenathewolf2

reader can be read as neutral but was requested as female

I struggled a lot with this set of headcanons, so the quality of this may have been impacted by that. So this will likely be reworked in the future.

reader is written through the lens of british fan experiences, so some things may not be necessarily generalisable (if so let me know)

After a long week of strain and school, all you really wanted to do was relax in of your tv and rewatch one of your new favourite series; The Owl House. As of late it become something of a comfort show - but, much to your vocal dismay, it was refusing to play; leaving the screen glitched and flickering whenever you attempted to click on its icon. Though after a while of tinkering with the screen and spamming the buttons on your remote, the programme finally started to play - flickering in and out of blackness before a shrill, loud noise rang out from the tv, knocking you out cold before you could try to stop it.

—

When you finally woke up you were almost blinded by the bright midday sun, squinting through your exhaustion and growing migraine to get your bearings - and very quickly realising that you were in a very different place.

You were laying on a lightly worn mattress, your head resting on a plush pillow and your eyes covered with a damp cloth

To your right was a balcony full of flourishing plants (though you couldn’t recognise them through your pain)

To your left was a mat and tray, itself covered with fresh pastries and a warm drink that smelled like tea - and that tasted like heaven when you strained to take a sip

Whoever had found you seemed kind, at least, but you couldn’t help but feel slightly unsettled at how you could have possibly gotten out of your room

Though, thankfully, you didn’t have to wait for much longer before you were greeted by a kind, deep voice

“Oh dear, Willow the human is awake!”

… human?

Willow?

It sounded familiar yet your mind refused to accept the possibility until the young witch hurried into the room and took your cloth from you, ringing it out and placing it in fresh, cool water

“Hey, how are you feeling? You looked pretty hurt when I found you.”

And that was the start of a very interesting, if slightly awkward, conversation wherein you carefully danced around the issue of your entrance to this world whilst Willow and her fathers carefully tended to your injuries.

“Does it hurt when I touch here?”

No, thank you for asking

“Do you remember how you got here? The portal got destroyed months ago…”

I’m sorry, no I don’t

“Would you like some more tea?”

Yes, please, as long as it’s no bother

All in all, they were all incredibly polite and hospitable throughout your recovery:

Willow would bring you her school books and teach you about the magic, culture and history of the Boiling Isles with a warm smile (filling in many gaps that the show had left in your mind)

She’d stay up with you (sharing her room with you throughout your recovery) and talk to you about her day, school, her friends and even ask you about the human world - not caring about your vagueness and passing it off as a result of your injury

Her parents gave you a roof over your head and plentiful fresh, handmade meals that kept you feeling well fed and, oddly enough, accepted despite your differences from the other residents of the Isle (not that you saw them, being confined to their home throughout your stay because of your injuries)

She even introduced you to her closest friends, Luz and Gus, very briefly through the medium of her crystal ball - which led to a number of interesting and fun conversations that were somewhat brief but all equally insightful into the world around you

And Luz was, naturally, quite relieved to know that she wasn’t completely alone anymore (even if your experiences of the human world didn’t match here)

Regardless of that small discrepancy, you still deeply enjoyed your chats with everyone and looked forward to being able to meet with them once you recovered - which seemed like it wouldn’t be too long as all the ointments and potions you’d been given were starting to do their job

—

It only took you a few short weeks to be back on your feet and back to normal, meaning you were finally able to accompany Willow as she went about her life and meet everyone she told you about (always wearing a hood or other concealing garment, of course).

Of everyone, you and Luz clicked the fastest and seemed to get along the best because of how similar you were in your experience - similar enough for you to almost want to tell her the truth, but something told you it might not be the best idea

She welcomed you into her small class and eagerly taught you all the glyphs she knew, her lessons oddly in depth and useful as you made an array of careful notes

Gus almost immediately started grilling about your life in the human world, comparing it to what he’d learned from Luz and excitedly exclaiming about how “everyone in the human appreciation club will love this!”

Amity was much more cautious around you, almost unsure of how to react and not entirely trusting what you said (not that she was wrong not to) but still treating you with respect as a friend of her “awesome girlfriend” - especially after you commented on how much of an adorable couple they were

Eda was skeptical initially but quickly took to you with open arms and plentiful teasing remarks - practically adopting you as she quizzed you about your time in recovery at Willow’s home

King took much longer to take to you, and rightfully so, but he still treated you mostly cordially for Luz’s sake (with a number of sarcastic comments and jokes at your expense of course - but that was a small price to pay to spend time in this amazing place)

Hooty was… well he was exactly as one would expect; excitable, energetic, eccentric and happy to see you… and loud

Very very loud

Lilith was incredibly polite towards you, but still very distant despite your attempts to get close to her (which she did seem to appreciate in a way)

In a word, you all respected each other as fellow students and gradually started to learn how to trust one another over the course of several weeks

As summer faded into autumn, you found yourself surrounded by a number of new friends and family - people that you wanted to protect and that would protect you in turn. However, not all things are meant to last and your peace was soon destroyed by the appearance of a certain member of the emperor’s coven at Eda’s doorstep.

You knew that they’d already met him, with Luz and Amity frequently recalling their own encounters with him - each told with varying levels of ire, disgust and disappointment

But, still, you hadn’t expected your weekly call with the Owl House residents to be interrupted by his appearance - unceremoniously announced by a chorus of surprised exclamations and Luz’s half worried, half scared voice

“Hunter, what are you doing here? What happened to you?”

Well that probably wasn’t good; not that you had the time to question it before she apologetically and hurriedly ended the conversation to tend to their unexpected visitor

Though that was probably for the best as you’d made a great effort to stay away from the “main plot” out of the fear that you’d make things worse - so maybe you should collectively leave Luz and Eda to deal with that particular… issue

But they wouldn’t let you hide forever and, eventually, Luz messed up and left a call going when she went out to run errands - something you didn’t notice until you heard a distinctly male voice speak up about something you couldn’t quite make out.

The conversation was incredibly awkward and stilted, relying on your own knowledge of Hunter and his desire to redeem himself by gaining the trust of Luz’s friends - and you just so happened to fit that description

Though with time you became less and less awkward around one another and, after a few dozen brief but decently insightful conversations, eventually came to call each other “friends”

By the time you’d been talking for a few weeks you were already starting to consider him a close friend - a notion that was seemingly reciprocated as you agreed to finally meet up in person and accompany him as he ran errands for Eda in Bonesborough

The conversation is light and pleasant, full of inside jokes and genuine compliments that leave you flushed and grinning from ear to ear - all whilst he grins and laughs in return (almost as though he’s hoping you won’t notice the red tint at the tips of his ears)

As you walked you didn’t realise just how close you’d gotten until your hands were casually brushing against each other and you were forcing down any feelings that could jeopardise your friendship - until he grabbed your hand on his own and smiled crookedly at you before looking away and sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand

It was nice, comforting even, to spend time with just him - even if you were just out shopping

That outing spiralled into something more serious, with you and Hunter going on weekly dates to test the waters for just shy of two months before you decided to take the dive and adopt the labels of “lovers” - though not without struggle or great contemplation. You even went on dates inside, sharing you passions for various other shows (excusing those that Luz didn’t know by saying they were exclusive to your region or came out after she left)

It was a relationship built on reluctant puppy love, wherein you both trusted each other deeply yet were reluctant to be completely vulnerable and open with each other

Hunter because of his trauma

And you because of the potential repercussions that could result from you being honest about how you came here

But as more and more time passed, and as your relationship became more set in stone, the guilt began to eat at you

Even if you would never go home, they deserved to know the truth - especially if it could give them the upper hand against Belos

So, after a week of hyping yourself up, you asked everyone to meet at the Owl House and you sat them down to calmly tell them the truth of your origins.

Naturally, they didn’t believe you at first - not until you gave them your phone and told them about things that you shouldn’t have known

Then the questions started

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“How did you get here then?”

“What happened to…”

You answered what you could, but you didn’t know everything and it left you all more stressed than content

Eda and Lilith had fallen silent, almost forlorn and guilty as they mulled over what you said

Luz was stammering, barely able to form a coherent sentence as she scrolled through her character profile - a very upset and angry Amity sat beside her (even if she hadn’t spoken yet, you knew she didn’t trust you completely anymore)

Willow looked slightly crestfallen but still smiled at you and hugged you - insisting that she was just happy you told her now (but you knew it took a lot for her to do that)

King was angry, and rightfully so, stomping around and accusing you of working with the emperor and using them for your own benefit

Gus was asking the most questions - leaving you with a lingering feeling of guilt whenever you couldn’t answer him

And Hunter…

Hunter walked out of the house, his face stoic and not even looking at you as he left - but you couldn’t even be angry with him; he had the right to be angry with you, after all

After your confession it took a while for them to talk to you properly and genuinely again - with only Willow, Luz and Gus being willing to stay in contact with you. Though, even then, it was a very slow and careful process for them to trust you like they did before.

Eda was the first to forgive you, with Lilith following closely behind; recalling their own pasts and recognising your reasoning behind keeping your origins from people

Hooty didn’t really distrust you at any point, but you never really spoke

Amity was next, approaching you with caution and suspicion before insisting that you never lie to her like that again - that she understood your reasoning but you should have told them all earlier

Then was King, who looked at you with a simmering anger but who recognising that you were protecting them - only really approaching you after Luz and Eda welcomed you back into their home

Hunter was the very last to speak to you again, starting off by being short with you and avoiding you at all costs before slowly starting to converse with you again

He still loved you, but he didn’t trust you like he did before - in his mind you should have told him immediately and you had plenty of chances to be honest earlier

So it would take a lot of work to get back to a place where you could be together again

But once you start working with them to take down the emperor, and you start spending more time with Hunter, it would give you the chance to build up a more trusting and open bond with him. And when you get back together, your relationship is stronger together and you’re able to read each other with ease - not that you’d ever lie again, he’s just a bit more cautious and observant than before.

In short, once you and Hunter slowly rekindle your relationship it would be significantly stronger than before and your honesty would bring you closer together. It would be built on a foundation of friendship, honesty and trust that would allow you to be so much more open to one another (both in regards to intimacy and general conversation).

#sleepingdeath #reader insert #hcs #headcanons #toh #the owl house #toh x reader #the owl house x reader #toh golden guard #toh hunter #the owl house golden guard #the owl house hunter #hunter x reader #golden guard x reader #female reader

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zozophoenixxx · 3 years

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Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

Here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Race to the Edge✨

SEASON 3

Dagur and Hiccup working together.. That's crazy but we love to see it

Also Toothless' facial expressions on ep1 are so good

- and the way Hiccup screamed "I hate you" after Dagur abandoned him was so sad 🥺

- TOOTHLESS TRUSTING DAGUR ENOUGH TO LET HIM RIDE HIM 🥺🥺

I love how Hiccup and Fishlegs always reward their dragon

Cavern Crasher - scavenging mystery class, pushes dragon out of their home and takes over, extremely fast, it's mucus becomes flammable when it hits the air, feeds on the other dragon's eggs, collapses it's skeleton and squeezes through cracks.

Dude I remember when I couldn't watch the Crash Course ep(2) bc I thought it was boring but I've come to appreciate it more. IT'S JUST SO FUNNY! We have the twins being... Well the twins and then we have proud, overprotective Snotlout SINGING TO THE BABY FIREWORMS 🤩

No bro but the way Hookfang and the Fireworm Queen combined their firepower

And the lil Hiccup and Snotlout moment at the end🥺🥺🥺

GOTHI TALKED❗️❕❗️❕

They treated Fishlegs so harshly 🥺 like I get why Hiccup would be mad at him but still like 😞 [ep3 with the night terrors and the lost civilizations ]

- i love how Hiccup felt bad after he treated Fishlegs the way he did

Fishlegs hugs >>>

Snotlout: I'm having Asia Fondue. Something seems oddly familiar

Hiccup: Snotlout, are you trying to say "deja vu"?

Singetail - its first appearance was in ep4, can fire from almost any part of its body -> mouth, tail, & underbelly.

Both Snotlout and Spitelout are trying to prove themselves to Hiccup and Stoick

Even tho ep4 is not one of my favorite eps I really liked how Spitelout and Stoick were ok at the end

BUFFALORD SOLDIER ONE OF MY FAVORITES

- bc of Hiccstrid ofcccc😭🤩

The Scourge of Odin - plague that tore through the Archipelago centuries ago, wiping out entire Viking villages. It moves swiftly, overtaking it's victims in less than 3 moons. Cure: green solution made out of the saliva of a Buffalord

The way both Hiccup and Snotlout seemed so worried🥺

Buffalord - all hunted to extinction during the Scourge's last outbreak, big, has ram- like horns and lives on the plains, extremely strong.

"I can't imagine a world without you in it"

THE WAY HE HOLDS HER🥺 nonono and the way he carries her and lightly touches her shoulder and holds her hand 🥺 I can't -

The way the dragons went crazy was kinda scary

Grimora - rare parasite that attach themselves to dragon and release a toxin that causes them to turn wild.

Stormfly loves bath time

Love how the water looked in this episode 🥺

Not all of them making fun of Fishlegs for having a girlfriend

Heather and Fishlegs 🥺🥰

Why is windshear kinda spoiled..

Hiccup was just kidnapped and Toothless is being forced to fight now

The way Astrid is so smart and gorgeous and beautiful and UGHHHH I love her 🥺

And Hiccup standing up for Toothless even tho he can't really do anything about it :(

OK BUT ASTRID'S EXCITEMENT WHENEVER SHE REALIZED THEY WERE OK AND THE WAY THEY HUG 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Triple Stryke AMAZING DRAGON I LOVE IT SM

I got chills whenever they freed the dragons and whenever they were shooting the ppl that paid for the dragon fights

Do I love them? Yes. Yes, I do.

BBY DEATHSONG IS SO ADORABLE

Tuff comes up with the craziest names, but Ig Garffiljorg the Deathsong has a certain ring to it 😩😶🤩😂

THE DEATHSONG REALLY WENT FOR THE KILL... HE REALLY SHOT CHICKEN AND WAS ALL LIKE 😏😋

CHICKEN PASSED OUT HAHSHABAVVA

HICCUP AND SNOTLOUT AND THE TWINS SINGING OMG

THE 🔥INFERNOOO🔥 OMG YESS and the way he got so excited to start working on it more 🥺

The Quakens feel the vibrations of the Earth and they're extremely strong

FISHLEGS DOING THE HAND THING ON THE QUAKENS

Dagur riding Toothless will never not be funny "why'd you do me like that bud?"

Just found a mistake! In ep11 Hiccup sends Snotlout and Heather out so he can teach Dagur how to ride a dragon without Heather killing him. Then, he has to go to his Hut to get a spare leg and leaves Dagur alone WHERE HE'S FOUND BY THE GANG INCLUDING SNOTLOUT-

Dagur and Fishlegs forming a friendship

Heather crying for Dagur is so heartbreaking dude like she's gone through so much 🥺

Sir Ulgerthorpe is hilarious 🤩

GOBBER JUST FOUND HIS DRAGON OMG YAY I LOVE HIM 😩🥺

Astrid and Heather being extreme badasses👏🏼 we love to see it 😍

In ep12 whenever they get caught Astrid puts her hand on Hiccup's shoulder and Hiccup responds to this by putting his hand on top of hers AND I JUST CANT WITH THESE LIL MOMENTS! and the change in music too🥺

AND JHDHSHAJAHSA TUFFNUT RUNNING AGAINST THE WALL AND RUFF NOT BEING EVEN FAZED but when she realizes she smiles HAHDHHSHAHA

AND THEN HER TELLING HIM TO TRY AGAIN

I love grump (Gobber's new dragon)

Gobber fighting Ryker- iconic

Astrid saving Hiccup and Meatlug saving Toothless🥺 I love them and the way Hiccup looks up at her with his wet hair 😩

Dude it's so like Astrid to not tell whenever she's hurt bro

SHE REALLY WAS LIKE "it just grazed me" when she had to pull the whole arrow out of her leg

Sarcastic Hiccup>>>>>

The fact that the twins can actually be super smart whenever they want to

Astrid is so badass bro like she really caught the darts that were abt to hit her and Hiccup plsss

Mala, Queen Defender of the Wing being voiced by Adelaide Kane reminds me of Reign so much like SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER

Eruptodon - The Great Protector

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lifewithdavefarts · 3 years

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DaveFarts - Episode 9 “Trapped In The Closet” [Episode List] Following the most blatant sit-com tropes you can think of, Dave decides to spy on his girlfriend, Dana, because he thinks she’s hiding something. Tim reluctantly decides to join his friend, but the two end up stuck in the girl’s closet, which will eventually turn into a gas chamber.

Trapped In The Closet

“Yeah Dana. Sure. No problem.”

Tim was working on some college tasks, but couldn’t help but to eavesdrop Dave’s conversation with his girlfriend, Dana, on the phone. He could only hear his friend’s replies, which being only the 50% of what they were talking about, it didn’t make a lot of sense. Not that he was interested: Dave was simply hanging out in his room because he had nothing better to do during that warm Summer evening, apparently, and so he simply showed up to Tim’s place with a couple of beers and a remarkable amount of procrastination powers.

Despite being relatively hot outside, Dave was wearing a t-shirt and a pair of long, grey levi jeans, kinda loose as usual. Something that Tim hated about his kink is how quickly he checked his friend’s outfit, something that he always did since Dave is now basically his “fart bud”, against all odds.

“Yeah… yeah… I love you. No… I love you more!”

Kinda funny how Dave, 24, would revert back to an awkward teenager at times whenever he and his girlfriend were on the phone. They probably even acted like that on purpose, because love is doing stupid things together after all.

“Tim. Car. Now!”

Dave hung up and turned weirdly serious, got up and walked downstairs, saying something about getting in the car.

“Wait, what?” Tim asked, questioning whether his friend was being serious or not, but he did follow him to wherever he was going.

“We don’t have much time, Tim. Dana will come back soon. She’s out with her own friends and we have… like… 15 minutes.”

The two walked outside and headed towards the girls’ house, actually only a few blocks away from Tim’s. Tim himself reluctantly followed his bro into this, knowing that, at best, it may turn into a funny mishap to tell to their other pals while being drunk and laugh about it.

“I’ll just pretend your words make any sense, like I usually do…” Tim chuckled, sarcastically, but still following his friend.

“I think she’s hiding something.” Dave explained, walking at a fast pace, Tim right behind him. “She’s been strangely elusive lately and I want to check her room for clues.”

Tim just chuckled in response. “Dave, you do realize that this is not a 90s sit-com, right? Her room? Really? What are you hoping to find out, exactly, anyway? That she’s having some kind of affair behind your back?” he asked, trying to reason with him.

“An affair? You think I’m that kind of guy?” Dave answered, looking surprisingly offended by Tim’s question. “I just want to make sure she’s fine. She seemed worried about something and she’s like this organized haf-woman/half-machine hybrid who keeps sticky notes in her room to keep an eye on her busy life.”

“Oh…” Tim replied, rather sarcastically. “Now that makes a lot of sense.”

“Leave your sassiness for later, dork. Can we take your car?” Dave asked.

“Why? We’re already right in front of her house…”

Dave realized that he was so worried that they did, in fact, walked for a couple of blocks and found themselves stepping in Dana’s backyard without even noticing. He just laughed a bit about it.

“Sorry. Love makes me blind.” he joked, knowing that it was a rather silly thing to say anyway.

“Not the words I would have used, but ok.” Tim answered.

“Come on, let’s get inside.” his bro said, with a smirk.

“Alright… but please, let’s keep a low profile and no awkwa-”

But as they approached to the girl’s house, Dave awkwardly started muttering some kind of theme song that was oddly reminiscent of the Mission Impossibile’s most iconic soundtrack. This guy has a girlfriend, everyone.

“So much for keeping a low profile, Ethan Hunt…” Tim joked.

Dana’s room, following the usual “average american house tropes” that the writer of this story grew up with in the 90s, was on the second floor. Luckily, the house was empty, so both Tim and Dave could easily climb it without fearing of someone noticing their totally legal actions.

“Look at Tim, such a rebel! Such a fast climber!” Dave whispered, noticing how good Tim was at climbing the girl’s house.

“Thanks. I learned it when I visited your mom.” he joked.

“I thought you’d prefer my dad, you know.” Dave played along, with a rather noticeable reference to Tim’s homosexuality.

“Just… just let’s get done with this.”

After some awkward climbing, the two found themselves in front of a window leading to Dana’s room. The duo was sitting on a small portion of slanted roof, wondering how to get inside.

“Alright. I could just punch through the window and open it. But you know I don’t like violence against windows.” Dave said, somewhat joking, but really trying to come up with a way to get through this final obstacle.

“Never mind, it’s open.” Tim said, as his hand passed right through the window. “Or, you know, I got ghost powers all of the sudden, but I doubt it.”

“You’re so funny I forgot to laugh.” Dave commented, as he got inside his girlfriend’s room, making sure no one was there, immediately followed by his sassy friend.

The room was fairly big and messy, books and magazines scattered all around the floor and the bed. Dana was a busy woman: she got a degree in economics but, given the tough times, she had troubles finding a decent job lately. Dave actually suspected that this was the reason she was being nervous about, well, everything, understandably.

“Why don’t you just ask her instead of acting like the perfect boyfriend material that you are?” Tim stated, in his usual snarky tone, noticing Dave basically rummaging through Dana’s more personal stuff.

“Just… let me do my thing ok?” he was serious again, trying to find something that could be clue, deep down knowing that all of that was quite non-sense and even ridiculous, but his stubbornness was showing. “Wait…”

Something drew his attention. A red (therefore important, according to Dana’s code) sticky note on the nightstand. Something was written on it.

“Oh… I guess I was right…” Dave whispered, eyes glued on the note.

“Something about her job?”

But Tim didn’t get an answer, as they heard someone coming from downstairs. They probably were so focused on their mission that didn’t even notice how someone got inside the house minutes after them. They went silent and tried to listen to the person’s footsteps.

“Yeah. I’ll keep you posted.”

They heard a muffled female voice getting closer, probably talking on her phone. A voice that was very familiar.

“Fuck! It’s Dana!” Dave whispered.

The two looked around, looking for a quick solution or a place to hide, blatantly ignoring the window they used to get inside in the first place.

“The closet!” Dave said.

Without even questioning whether this was a good idea or not, the duo sneaked inside Dana’s closet and closed themselves inside just as the girl came into her room, still talking on the phone about something.

Tim and Dave managed to mess things up however, as they ended up in a very small section of that apparently big, spacious closet, so they had to arrange themselves in a weird position. Dave was standing up, towering over Tim, who found himself sitting on the floor instead, right behind his friend… with his face perfectly aligned with his loose jeans butt. As his eyes got adjusted to the dark, Tim started to distinguish the seams and texture’s on Dave’s jeans ass, and the tiny red Levi tag on the right back pocket. He couldn’t help but take a look, which he felt really unnecessary, given the context.

“So… this is where you lived for most of your life…” Dave joked, looking around, as if the closet was some kind of fancy mansion.

“Haha! Another gay joke! Great timing, Dave!” Tim muttered instead. The last thing they had to do was talk.

The two waited for a couple of minutes, hoping that Dana would just leave again or even just go downstairs, so they’d have enough time to get out of there in the hopes that Dave didn’t leave any clue of his presence.

“As long a we remain silent…” Tim whispered. “We have nothing to worry about.”

Only moments after saying that, he felt a very familiar sound greeting his face. It was a long, rumbling sound coming from Dave’s denim ass. It was one of his usual, well-known loud farts, a fart that he was desperately trying to keep as silent as possible. Luckily, Dana was too busy with her phone to even notice the weird noise coming from inside of her closet.

“Dave! What the fuck?!” Tim hissed.

The gassy friend tried not to laugh, realizing how idiotic the whole situation was. “I’m sorry dude.” he murmured. “You know what happens when I’m nervous!”

The smell was unbearable already. Being in a such small space didn’t certainly help. Those were probably some of the smelliest farts Dave ever managed to rip in Tim’s face, although this time was, against all odds, more like an accident.

“Tim…” Dave whispered, carefully placing his butt closer to his friend’s face.

Another fart erupted, sounding dangerously louder than the previous one. The rough surface of Dave’s denim gently caressed Tim’s nose. The blast of gas then turned into something much more subtle, but still otherwise bubbly. Tim felt his nose burn, as really he had no choice but to breath all of that in.

“Dave I swear. If you don’t stop, Dana’s gonna–”

But another “slow-paced” rumbly fart cut him off. Dave was seriously trying to contain his well-known farting abilities. Tim, instead, was trying to remain calm, feeling like the Universe was somehow messing with him. That was an insane situation: he certainly wasn’t new to Dave’s farts, but in that context, it felt almost like one of his weird dreams about his fart fetish.

“Tim I’m sorry, at least I know you don’t mind… I hope”

Funnily enough, despite the slightly amused tone in his whispering voice, Dave sounded genuinely sorry. Yet he was right: Tim was insanely enjoying it, but knowing that Dana was out there made the whole thing almost surreal. And, once again, as much as Dave always proved so chill about this stuff, he couldn’t help but feel somehow awkward about having his friend face-farting him so non-chalantly.

And yet another “ninja” fart was ripped all over his face. Being nervous really turned Dave’s stomach into a messy cloud of gas, and Tim’s nose was there to vacuum it all up, completely defenseless, standing before the sheer power of the gassy friend’s powerful denim-covered anus.

Even though the situation was absurd, Dave couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. After all, the smell hit him too, and it was getting insane even for the farter himself, whose gas just didn’t stop building up.

“Sorry bro… I have to do this.” he whispered.

Tim felt Dave’s hands gently grabbing the back of his head, holding it still, as he pulled him in the clutches of his denim butt. The warm fabric of the jeans was soaking in that unbearable smell. The sniffer then felt the weight of his gassy friend almost crushing his skull. Despite being dark, Tim realized that Dave was basically sitting on him, using his head as some kind of human stool.

The fart was directly ripped in Tim’s mouth at that point, that rumbly sound once again renewing the already destructive stench. It was supposed to be loud, so loud, that Dave had to basically use his friend’s face to deadpan its impressive thunderous noise. The gassy bro was trying to rip it in the form of a long series, hoping that Dana would fail to hear (or even recognize) his well-known gross, but rather impressive talent.

Tim heard his friend’s sighs of relief after each, rumbling fart, but Dave was also trying not to burst into a laughter that could blow their cover. Fart fetish or not, he couldn’t help but to find it more hilarious than gross.

As much as the lack of space in that closet wouldn’t really allow it, Dave even lifted his right leg a bit, while still “sitting” on his stool-friend, as a way to facilitate the impressive amount of gas gushing out from his anus. It’s not like he had to worry about Tim passing out or finding it too gross, anyway.

That fart itself was lasting longer than both of them anticipated. They lost count of how much time passed, probably a full minute. Tim’s face was warm and sweaty now, still trapped in the clutches of his gassy bro’s denim butt, directly living in person that thin line between Fart Heaven and Fart Hell.

A final sigh of relief, followed by a louder toot and a chuckle. “Sorry, bud.” Dave muttered, hoping that his plan worked.

Indeed, Dana didn’t hear a thing. She hung up and left the room, her footsteps slowly turning into a far, muffled sound, until silence announced that the duo was now free to get the heck out of there, especially considering how they were almost both choking on farts.

Tim forgot what fresh, non-fart air felt like in his nostrils and so took a deep, refreshing breath the moment he stepped out of that gas closet. Ironically, Dave did the same, maybe even wondering how would Tim even endure something as overwhelming as his farts, but he didn’t really mind anyway. Despite everything, that was oddly hilarious, as the two stared at each other and then bursted into a laughter.

“Now let’s get out of here…” the farter suggested.

But before the two could even walk towards the window, Dana showed up again in her own room. She didn’t even startle.

“What are you two doing here?” she asked, sounding more like an inquisitive mom than an angry girlfriend. She was fairly mature, after all. “I don’t know what you Dumb and Dumber are up to, but I swear if you–”

“I heard the news, Dana. We were just outside your window…” Dave explained, slightly tweaking the truth. “We wanted to play a stupid scary prank but then I heard it, while you were on the phone you know…”

Dana shook her head and laughed a bit. She hugged her boyfriend and kissed him.

“Yes! I got the job!” she giggled. “Sorry I’ve been so cold lately. The job interview made me so nervous…”

“It’s fine, Dana. You’ve always been stone-cold anyway!” Dave joked, earning a playful slap on his chest by his girlfriend.

“Yes, that’s a very import–wait what’s that smell?” the girl asked, sniffling loudly the air around him.

Tim’s heart almost stopped while Dave did his best to not just laugh like an immature prankster. His hair, clothes, skin, were completely “soaked” in his gassy bro’s gas, so naturally he’d himself smell like flatulence.

“Never mind. It must be you, Dave. He farts like crazy when he’s nervous, Tim, I swear.” she said, disgusted but slightly amused as well.

“Ow… it’s part of my charm, babe.” Dave replied, using what he would have considered an irresistible flirty tone of voice, which was super awkward instead.

“And yeah. Tim’s very aware of my skills, right?” he joked, winking at him, like the big teasing bastard he’s always been since he found out about his fart kink.

Tim just shrugged, faking a disgusted look, his heart racing fast, knowing that all he had to do after that was take the biggest shower in the hope that such unbearable stench didn’t fuse with the atoms in his body.

“Well, it’s gonna be a wild ride!” Dana exulted, happy about her new job offer.

“How about a round of beers to celebrate?” Tim suggested. “It’s on me, no worries.”

“Great idea, but I’m paying. I got the job, you dumb-dumbs get to drink!” Dana replied. She was in a very good mood.

“It’s fine, Dana! It’s the least we can do after-“ but Dave interrupted him.

“Come on Tim, stop living in outdated gender roles and let the pretty girl buy you a drink.” he said, faking a serious tone.

The girlfriend simply rolled her eyes and left the room “Just… meet me downstairs when you’re done saving the world, ok?”

As Dana was nowhere in sight, Dave simply turned to Tim and let another huge, long one rip.

“Shhh. Just tying up some loose ends here.” he said, shushing the gay friend, blasting what was left of his gas out.

“Are you finish-“ “Not yet” he simply said, as if he was making sure no particle of gas was left behind.

With one high pitched final note that was met with some immature laughter, Dave sighed in relief.

“With that said” he chuckled “You might want to take a shower.”

Tim simply nodded with an unamused expression.

“Oh, and you might want to leave the other closet you’ve been hiding.”

That was out of nowhere.

“No pressure bro, just know that we’re all always more than happy to have a beer with you.”

“Thanks Da-“

“Despite your bigoted views on gender roles of course.”

“I’m going to punch you now.”

The duo then headed downstairs and no one got punched luckily.

Tim thought about his friend’s words and how it was probably time to leave that metaphorical stuffy closet soon or later, not that he felt forced or anything.

Dana’s closet, however, that’s probably the only one he enjoyed being trapped into…

End of Episode 9

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #gayfart #malefarts

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