#Your icon seems oddly familiar

[themagicalghost]

after getting captured, does Bumble interact with the Chairman in your fanfic? (like. the type of moment where they talk shit at each other or something xD)

Yes

[incognit0slut]

Pretty bunny

PART 1 OF KINKTOBER | MAIN MASTERLIST

Sub!Spencer x Playboy Bunny!Reader Spencer doesn’t know what to do when he recognizes you from his favorite adult magazine.

Content: (18+) 3k, boobjob, male oral, public space, and Spencer being insecure of his size but we love him just the way he is, right? a/n: "WE LOVE PRINCE CHARMING REID!" We say in unison while we hold hands and continue to chant over and over again

Issue number: 662. Date: June 2009. Centerfold, pages 36 through 42, draped in nothing but the iconic bunny ears.

Spencer shook his head. No. There was no way it could be you. There was no way the same Playboy bunny he had masturbated to was casually picking up a book in this quiet library. But there was something unmistakable about you. The familiar curve of your back, the subtle sway of your hips, the way your ass rounded perfectly as you reached further down the bottom shelf.

His pants tightened uncomfortably.

It really was you.

Dear god, what were the chances? Spencer had only come to this library on a whim. It was supposed to be a simple day—run a few errands on his free day, pick up groceries, maybe find a new book to keep himself occupied. But what he didn’t expect was to come face-to-face with the very woman he had spent far too many nights thinking about. The same woman whose body he knew too well, even if you didn’t know him at all.

He shifted nervously, trying to focus on anything else—the books, the shelves, the smell of old pages—but his eyes drifted back to you. His gaze lingered on the neckline of your blouse dipping low as you bent further, revealing the soft curve of your breasts.

His tongue swiped over his bottom lip.

“Can I help you?”

Spencer’s heart nearly stopped when he noticed you staring at him.

“No,” he rushed out, the word falling through his lips like autopilot. "I was, uh, looking for a book."

Your brow raised slightly. “I didn’t know I was part of the collection.”

He could feel the heat creeping up his neck, and he looked away, trying to think of a response that didn’t make him sound like an idiot.

“No, no, that’s not—of course you’re not… I—” He stopped, realizing he was only digging himself into a deeper hole. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

You straightened up, and he took in a sharp breath when your hips shifted slightly, brushing against the shelf as you moved.

“I wouldn’t say uncomfortable. Curious, maybe.” You crossed your arms. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy who goes around staring at women in libraries.”

“I don’t,” he blurted out, his voice coming out a little higher than he intended. The way your crossed arms subtly pushed up your breasts only made it harder for him not to gawk at your chest. His gaze briefly flickered downward before snapping back to your face.

“I don’t,” he repeated in a voice he hoped sounded more confident than he felt. “You look… familiar.”

“Familiar? Have we met before?”

Of course not. Well, to you at least. He, on the other hand, had seen you more times than he could count. In photos, in dreams, in moments he’d rather not admit. “I… might have seen you in passing.” It was the truth. Sort of. “I didn’t expect to see you in a library.”

You let out a soft laugh. “I guess I don’t seem like the reading type to you, do I?”

He quickly shook his head. “No, it’s not that. I just didn’t expect to run into someone like you here.”

“Someone like me?”

"You know, someone who’s, uh, famous.”

He instantly winced when the words tumbled out, regretting how awkward and clumsy it sounded.​

“Ah,” you said with a knowing smile. “So you do recognize me.”

He paused for a moment, his eyes darting to the floor, the ceiling, anywhere but directly at you. “I… yes, I do. And I’m sorry,” he added, his second apology in less than five minutes. “I didn’t mean to make this weird.”

Your smile deepened, clearly enjoying his discomfort, but not in a cruel way—more in the sense that you found his awkwardness oddly charming. “It’s fine, I’m actually used to it,” you told him, uncrossing your arms. “And I don’t mind being recognized by someone as cute as you.”

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly. “…cute?”

“Adorable,” you emphasized. “What’s your name?”

You called him cute. Cute.

What was his name again?

Oh. Right.

“Spencer.” He cleared his throat nervously. "I’m... Spencer."

“Spencer,” you repeated, and he could hear the way your voice softened, almost breathless, like you were savoring the sound of his name as it slipped from your lips. “It suits you.”

His tongue swiped along his bottom lip. “It does?”

“Mm-hmm. It has a nice ring to it.” Your eyes flickered down to his mouth for a split second before meeting his gaze again. "Strong, but gentle. You seem like the type of guy with those traits."

Spencer felt a wave of heat run through him. “I—I wouldn’t say that...”

“Well you are,” you continued, leaning in just slightly. “You seem gentle, but there’s more to you, isn’t there?”

“I… I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

"Oh, come on," you said with a teasing grin, your eyes flickering over his features as if trying to read the depths of his thoughts. "You've got that sweet, quiet thing going on. Like you're trying to be all polite and proper... but there's something else, isn't there?"

His eyes darted at the edge of the bookshelf. “No. I’m just… me.”

"Just you? Somehow, I don't believe that. I think there's a side to you that doesn't come out very often. Maybe you're not so innocent as you let on. Or maybe..." Your voice dropped lower, almost a whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. "Maybe you're not as gentle as you seem."

There was a flicker of panic in his eyes as he tried to laugh off your words, the sound coming out strained and awkward.

“I’m really not that…”

But you didn’t let him finish. You leaned in closer, just enough that he could feel the heat of your body, your breasts brushing lightly against his chest.

“Not that what?” you pressed. “Not that innocent, or not that gentle?”

His pulse pounded visibly at his throat. “I... don’t know what you mean,” he said, but you could see the way his pupils dilated, the way his fingers twitched at his sides.

“I think you do,” you replied softly, your fingers brushing just barely against his. You watched as he stiffened, his shoulders momentarily tensing as if the slightest touch sent a shock through his whole body. You smiled, leaning in just a fraction closer. “I like you.”

You felt his breath hit your face as he let out a strangled sound, almost a gasp, and the warmth of it urged you on. Your hand gently found its way to his arm, fingers tracing a path down to his wrist.

“And I think,” you continued, looking up at him with wide eyes. “You might like me too.”

Spencer couldn’t find the words to respond, he couldn’t even breathe properly. How could he when your sweet scent filled his senses? How could he when he had imagined what it might be like to touch you, to have you this close, and now it was real?

He took a deep, calming breath to steady himself, but his heart was pounding violently against his ribcage, and his mouth had gone completely dry. Your fingers trailed down his arm, lingering for a moment before slipping under his hand to guide it firmly to your waist.

He was sure he could combust right on the spot.

“Tell me something, Spencer,” you murmured. “Did you like my pictures? The ones in the magazine?”

He tenses under your touch. His pupils dilated even further, his grip tightening on your waist involuntarily.

“I—uh,” he breathed out, his voice almost breaking, eyes darting away as if he couldn’t quite bring himself to meet your gaze. But you didn’t let him retreat. You shifted slightly, pressing your soft breasts more firmly against his chest. His gaze flickered back to your cleavage.

“Come on, I bet you did. I bet you… enjoyed them.” You let the implication linger. “Didn’t you?

His eyes fluttered close. Enjoyed felt too innocent for what he'd felt, what he'd done. He didn't just enjoy those photos—he devoured them. He touched himself, imagining you sprawled in front of him in that same pose. He fantasized about you, dreamt of your pretty face, the sultry look in your eyes, the way those cute bunny ears framed your hair but left everything else bare.

He grew even more painfully hard at the thought, and you could feel his his arousal pressed against your hip. A soft laugh escaped your lips.

"Spencer,” you cooed, his name rolling off your tongue effortlessly. "What ever are you thinking?"

He tried to shift away.

“I-I’m not—” he started, but every word he tried to speak died on his lips the moment your hand brushed against his stomach. He felt like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs.

“You’re not?” You let your fingers trail down his abdomen, feeling the way his muscles clenched under your touch, before drifting even lower. “Because it seems like you've got something on your mind. Or..."

Your fingers passed over his belt buckle, grazing the edge of his waistband.

“Somewhere..."

You hovered over his bulge.

“…else."

Without hesitation, you palmed his erection, feeling the full hardness straining against the fabric. He sucked in a sharp breath. “W-What are you—”

You brought your lips to the shell of his ear, letting your breath tickle his skin. “I think you know what I'm doing."

Spencer's eyes glanced to the side, as if anyone might appear around the corner at any second, but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Not when your hand was moving slowly along his length.

“We… we can’t,” he managed to choke out. “Someone could—could see us."

“Hmm? Should I stop then?” You pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. “Do you want me to stop, Spencer?”

The hesitation in his eyes was unmistakable, but so was the desperation. Brown orbs stared helplessly back at you. He couldn’t bring himself to say yes when every part of him screamed no. So he opted for silence, hoping that his lack of protest would tell you everything he couldn’t put into words.

You understood him clearly, so you pressed your hand more firmly on his bulge, fingers teasing the sensitive outline through his pants. The shape of him grew even more defined as you moved slowly, teasingly, with just enough pressure to make him gasp.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

His grip on your waist tightened.

“Y-yes,” he managed to breathe out, eyes half-closed as he gave himself over to the sensation.

"I bet I can make you feel even better.”

Without breaking eye contact, you began to sink slowly to your knees, hands sliding down his body. You let your fingers trace down his hips as you came face to face with the unmistakable outline of his arousal, your gaze still locked on his as a smirk danced on your lips.

An IQ of 187 was hardly enough to process what was happening now. Every neuron in his brain fired wildly, trying to make sense of the rush of sensations, the heat of your touch, the intensity in your eyes.

How was this even real?

You let your lips hover for a moment, teasing him with the anticipation before you pressed a soft, lingering kiss against his cock. He let out a muffled cry.

“Shh,” you whispered soothingly, your fingers working at the straps of his belt. The metallic clink of the buckle was faint as you loosened it, pulling it free with a soft hiss of leather. “We don’t want anyone to hear us, do we?”

Your fingers brushed against his waistband, eyes looking up at him all doe-eyed, wide and innocent, though everything about your touch was far from it.

He was going crazy. You looked so sexy, so pretty, yet so impossibly cute in that moment, like the very picture of temptation wrapped in innocence. His mind couldn’t help but flicker back to those pictures—the pictures—where you wore nothing but those bunny ears, your gaze so similar to the one you were giving him now.

He watched as you slowly peeled down the fabric, and found himself holding his breath. The cool air met his hot skin as his cock sprang free, and for a second, he couldn’t breathe.

Because Spencer knew he was different. He wasn’t like the other men you’d surely encountered, who knew their way around a woman like you, who were confident, who didn’t hesitate. And then there was the matter of size. He couldn’t help the thoughts rushing through his mind, wondering if you’d find him lacking, if he measured up to whatever experiences had shaped you into the woman that knelt before him now.

But a smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you wrapped your hand around his cock.

“You’re so…” You let out a small, appreciative laugh, your thumb brushing over his tip. “God, everything about you is cute, isn’t it?”

Spencer struggled to steady his breath, his chest rising and falling in uneven bursts as your touch made it impossible to think clearly. You leaned closer, eyes still locked on his, and your tongue darted out to give a teasing kitten-lick along the base of his cock.

“Not too big,” you teased, dragging your tongue up the underside, tracing every ridge.

“Not too small…”

You let your tongue travel upward until you reached the tip, where you sucked gently, swirling your tongue around him in circles that had his legs shaking.

“You’ll fit perfectly.”

A pained groan fell through his lips. “Fit… where?”

You let go with a wet pop, his cock twitching as the cool air replaced the warmth of your mouth. Holding his gaze, you let your fingers move to your blouse, slowly undoing the buttons one by one. “Don’t think I didn’t catch you staring.”

Then in one sudden, fluid motion, you tugged your bra down, letting your breasts spill free. The movement made them bounce slightly, the soft curve of your flesh catching the light, and Spencer’s eyes went wide.

His lips parted as if to say something, but no words came out, just a strangled groan as his cock twitched visibly. The sight of you was too much for him to bear. He couldn’t decide where to look, his gaze flickering between your breasts and your face, like he was afraid to miss a single second of this moment. He followed your movement with wide, hungry eyes as you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock, guiding him to your chest.

“See?” you teased, pressing his length firmly between the soft, warm flesh of your breasts. “Perfect fit.”

His pupils dilated with full-blown lust as you started to move, slowly at first, letting him feel every inch of your warm, soft flesh sliding around his cock. You squeezed your breasts tighter together, the pressure creating a delicious friction that had him biting back a groan, his eyes glued to the way he disappeared and reappeared between your curves.

Up. Down. Up. Down. The head of his cock glistened as it emerged at the top again, only to slide back down into your cleavage, leaving a hot, wet trail along your skin.

“God… oh god,” Spencer choked out, his voice strained as his hips bucked slightly with each thrust. His eyes squeezed shut briefly, only to flutter back open as if afraid to miss a second of what was happening. His mind was a mess of disjointed thoughts, desperately trying to make sense of the scene unfolding before him. But all rationality was drowned out by the way you moved, the soft squeeze of your breasts around him, and the warm, slick glide of your sweat-kissed skin against his length.

He felt himself spiraling, the pleasure climbing higher, and all he could think was how good you looked, how perfect it felt, and how badly he wanted to paint his cum all over your face.

“Look at you all worked up.” You leaned forward slightly, letting the tip of his cock brush against your lips as it emerged, just the barest whisper of a touch. “You’re already so close, aren’t you?”

His fingers dug even deeper into the shelf, nails scraping against the wood. His voice was raw, almost desperate, as he let out a strained, “Please.”

With a satisfied smile, you lowered your head just enough to let your tongue flick out, circling around the head of his cock as it emerged from between your breasts, tasting the salty-sweet bead of arousal that had formed there. His hips slammed forward.

“Mm,” you hummed softly. “You wanna use me now, Spencer? Is that what you want?”

His grip on the shelf finally faltered, and you could hear the whimper in his throat, the way he bit down on his lip to keep from making a sound that would echo in the library. “Yes,” he gasped. “Please, I… I need to…”

“Go on,” you coaxed him, squeezing your breasts tighter around his length. “If you want it, take it. Use me.”

The moment those words left your lips, his hips jerked forward. The movement was sharp, desperate, and once he started, he couldn’t stop. He fucked himself into the tight, slick warmth of your breasts. He stammered incoherently, half-formed words falling from his lips, barely audible over the sounds of his ragged breaths and muffled whimpers.

“Please, I—I can’t… I can’t—oh god…”

He finally snapped, his body trembling violently as the sensation ripped through him, the pressure too intense, too overwhelming. His hips bucked wildly, thrusting desperately into the warmth of your body, lost in the heat, in the wetness, in the need to let go completely—

And then, everything vanished in an instant.

He jolted awake, eyes snapping open, his chest heaving as he took in his surroundings. No longer surrounded by warmth, no longer on the brink of release. Just the quiet stillness of his bedroom, sweat beading on his forehead, heart pounding in his chest, sheets tangled around his body… and the magazine lay open beside him, your image staring back at him mockingly.

Bunny ears perched on your head, delicate breasts spilling over, legs spread wide apart.

It took a few seconds for Spencer to catch his breath. He glanced down at himself, his eyes trailing to his painfully hard arousal, noticing the wetness seeping through his boxers and sticking to his skin. The rush of disappointment and adrenaline twisted sharply in his chest as reality hit him.

It was just a dream.

An embarrassing, all-consuming, impossible dream.

[tr4gictea]

True Meaning: Prologue

Isekai teen!reader + Genshin Impact

❥Masterlist

Tags: none

Including: Introduction to the reader

word count: 1,309 words

A/n: Imma be honest, I thought I posted this story on Wednesday but apparently I just saved it to my drafts 😭.

This is a series that I want to start if you guys want me to, if not then I will still be posting this story along with my regular one-shots, headcanons, and stories but not as regularly. But if do want this to continue leave a note down below so I know that you guys like this and want more content of this story. :P

Next...

True Meaning Table of Content ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

Your head was pounding, it felt like someone took a sword and stabbed it right through your head. Around you were tall trees with glowing blue flowers surrounding the bases of the trees. You don't know how you got here, one moment you were playing genshin in bed, then a voice called out to you.

"(Y/n), your soul is not of this world, you must move to the next," And all of a sudden you were lying on the muddy grass.

You got up and looked around, there was none in sight other than two slim foxes in the distance. Where were you? Exploring the area ahead you saw a small rock formation that looked like a little bear, and next to it was a bundle of lit candles. 

Continuing on you follow the stream next to you. On your way you pass by some small statues that you could compare to puppies or bear cubs. The path looked oddly familiar to you, it felt like you had walked down it before. You walk for about ten minutes passing by Japanese style gates before you spot an... electro seelie?! 

These only exist in genshin?! This cant be real! Wait. This can't be real, because it is a dream! That's why that path seemed so familiar! You smiled to yourself, proud that you “figured” it out. 

But if you are dreaming of the world of genshin that means you can explore the real Inazuma yourself! You've explored the Inazuma area hundreds of times so trying to find Inazuma City shouldn't be hard too. Plus the Raiden Shogun's home is so big that you could see it from miles away.

You walk down the path careful not to alert the hullichurl camps of your presence and make it to the village homes right outside of Inazuma city. When walking in you are greeted by a large tree with pink leaves falling down onto the ground.

As you pass by the villagers give you weird looks. They look you up and down then turn away from you. What's up with them? You wonder as you dust off your baggy black shirt that says 'return of the vampurrr' with a woman screaming at a giant cat and then shoving your hands in your teenage mutant in turtle pajama pants pockets. Wait, you have your sleeping clothes on. Maybe that's why they're giving you weird looks. The only thing that would maybe be okay for you to wear is the Vivienne Westwood Necklace you got off of amazon for 15 dollars. The orb in the middle of the necklace which was originally silver turned into a clear ball almost as if it was made of glass. Well, this is a dream so these people can deal with your choice of clothing.

You continue down the path and head up stone stairs where you see Yoimiya's firework shop and Hajime's blacksmith. He looks hard at work and for the first time you see him move away from the anvil and head to the fire.

I guess my dreams took a little creative liberty you thought as you walked past them. Everything in the city felt more lively than in the games. You saw more kids running up and down the streets, adults talking in groups, and even a pack of doushin traveling out of the city with Kujuo Sara leading them. You had a more creative imagination than you thought.

You walked by so many iconic places in the games that amazed you. Like the sango detective agency and Yae Publishing House. You even passed by Shouta, the little boy who's always offering stuff to the archons.

It couldn't hurt to talk to him and besides he had his hands clasped together and aggressively saying “pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!” over and over again. "Whatcha doing?" You ask about appearing behind him. 

"I've heard that I can make a wish to the archon once I have placed the offering in the shrine. If the archon likes my offering, my wish will definitely be granted." he excitedly points to the shrine which has Konpeito candies placed at its base. He sounds exactly like he does in the game. You wonder how realistic your dream is. "I have brought all of my snacks here today, and I'd like to wish that the archon will cancel the exam tomorrow!"

"Have you gotten your wish yet?" You question. You know what he's gonna say but you're just curious to hear his voice lines.

"Hmm... It works about once in a dozen times... Last time, I wished bad luck upon someone who bullied me, and then he flunked his exam, haha!" He kept talking and brought up Yoimiya offering him fireworks and Itto as he describes 'big guy with the horns'.

Once he finishes talking he goes off script and asks "Why are you dressed like that?"

This question catches you off guard which causes you to stutter. "I, um well... I... bye." And with that, you turn on your heel and walk in the other direction leaving him with a confused look on his face. You didn't know how to answer that so you just left. Besides this wouldn't affect you as this was all a dream, you told yourself.

You continue walking past the Inazuma Katheryne staring lifelessly at nothing. You continued through Inazuma, still getting weird looks from the locals, but you finally made it to the place you wanted to see all this time. The Raiden Statue.

She was so much taller than she was in the game. Her hands were about as big as the two of you. The wings had glowing visions on them, you could only assume that the vision hunt decree was still in effect.

Looking at all the visions had you thinking about elemental power. If I'm here and not technically from this world does that mean that I can gain elemental powers by touching the statute of seven? Am I the traveler frfr?!?! As soon as the thought crossed your mind you raced to get to Ritou. You almost nearly catch the attention of some hilluchurls but are quick to get away from them. Arriving at Ritou you waste no time in looking at the shops around you and head straight to the Statue of Seven. It looks worn down and beat up. You go up to it and reach your hand out as the traveler did in the games and touch it. As you do, a crackle of electro power pops out of the statue and falls into your body. Looking down you see the originally clear orb of your Vivienne Westwood pendant now glowing electro-light.

"Woah," You reach your hand out and imagine a burst of electro coming out of your fingers and then... Nothing? Your hand remains the same and no elemental powers come out of you.

"Hmm... Maybe I'm supposed to say something... Uhh, aberacdabera!"

BOOM!

A large sudden burst of electro energy burst through your hands and hits a nearby tree, splitting it in half

"S-shit!" I hope none heard that...

"It came from over the wall, let's go around," 

Nope they definitely heard that, I have to go.

You set off running on the opposite side of the path you came up from. You snuck your way back into the Ritou market. And you spent the rest of your dream walking around Ritou until you started to feel tired.Hmm, that's weird, can you get tired in dreams? Maybe this is the dream's way of telling me it's over... But I don't wanna go... I still haven't seen Liyue or Fontaine yet... You try to steady yourself on a nearby tree when you fall over in exhaustion. Even if it was only for a day you still enjoyed your time here. Maybe you'd have another dream like this again…

More Genshin Impact Stories *ੈ✩‧₊˚

True Meaning Table of Content ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡

This is a series that I want to start if you guys want me to, if not then I will still be posting this story along with my regular one-shots, headcanons, and stories but not as regularly. But if you do want this to continue leave a note down below so I know that you guys like this and want more content about this story :P

Thank you for reading <3

[dartagnantt]

It's a Trap! | Dangerous Spells to keep those pesky adventurers out of your tower!

PDFs of this and more can be found over on at my Patreon here!

Some trapping spells, which while not technically 'sealing' as per the theme, are similar, that and I think the ranger needs more iconic spells. These spells, are (at least initially) inspired by the Snare spell from Xanathar's which I modify here for… reasons, and because another thing I like in my spells are the ability to scale. Which I made sure every one of these could do.

As I alluded to before, these spells are designed for rangers, and only really have expanded options, because, making things is the artificer's thing, and wizards classically have wacky traps. But, with the ranger in mind, almost all of these spells have a material you need to gather or pre-prepare which seems like a vary ranger thing to do.

Guillotine

A classic dungeon trap, and one of the few whose materials cannot be improvised but I couldn't help myself. Now the party barbarian can kill their foes in their sleep, assuming they lend you their axe

Pitfall

A classic trap and one whose construction seems very in the vein of what a ranger would produce

Rake-in-the-Grass

I couldn't resist, this idea was just to funny to pass up. It's not powerful in the slightest, but incredibly irritating and I made it a ritual for the sole purpose of, if you were to put in the time, you could absolutely booby trap a massive area… assuming you had enough rakes, I'm sure there's a feat for that somewhere. I considered making it a cantrip based on how weak it was, but instead decided that the 8 hour duration was still too powerful for that, so ritual it was.

Rising Action

Another classic dungeon trap and a contender for the spell with the most oddly specific material component. I seem to have a thing for rising pillars that crush people.

Rockfall

Speaking of crushing, rocks fall and everyone die, or are moderately inconvenienced if my experience in Skyrim is anything to go by.

Sling Snare

This is like the snare spell, as follows, but with the comedic power of those traps in cartoons that involve flinging the offending party a great distance.

Snare

As mentioned before, this is based roughly on the spell of the same name from Xanathar's but with the important change of, if it's not triggered, giving you the rope, an actually useful material and one of the few here that actually costs something, back.

Sudden Spikes

A final familiar dungeon trap with some built in versatility, in case you want to stab people with adamantine spikes.

And now to plug my stuff. I release homebrews weekly over on my Patreon. Anyone who pledges $1 or more per post don't have to wait a month to see them, and also help fund my being alive habit.

At the moment, they have exclusive access to the following:

Judgement Domain

The Greatwyrm Patron

Breaking and Exiting

Dungeon Delver's Survival Guide

I also have three classes, and a splatbook over on DriveThrueRPG to check out:

The Rift Binder. A class specialising in summoning monsters and controlling the battlefield.

The Witch Knight. A class that combines swords and sorcery in the most literal way.

The Werebeast. A class that turns you into a half beast to destroy your foes.

d'Artagnan's Adventurer Almanac. A compendium of races, subclasses, feats, spells, monsters and more!

[mystictf]

Big City, Bright Lights

Avengers x Reader (AU)

3.1k Words

The car rolls to a stop, and you hesitate for a moment, gripping the seat belt tight, your heart racing. With a deep breath, you push the door open and step out into the pulsating energy of New York City. The cacophony of honking taxis and chatter mingles with the distant rhythm of street performers, a symphony of sound that is both exhilarating and intimidating.

You gaze up at the towering skyscrapers, their glass facades reflecting the sunlight and the lives within them. Each building seems like a giant, proudly displaying its story - stories of ambition, dreams, and struggles. As your family gathers their things, you take it all in, the smell of the street food mingling with the scent of concrete, a stark contrast to the fresh air of your small hometown. Your parents, filled with a mix of anxiety and excitement, lead the way through the crowded street, navigating the bustling sidewalks as you follow closely behind, feeling smaller than you ever have. You watch as people whiz past - joggers, tourists, businesspeople - all moving with purpose. It’s sensory overload that leaves you momentarily breathless. After what feels like an eternity, you arrive at your new apartment building, a modest structure that stands among the giants, yet it feels oddly comforting. As you step inside, the cool air conditioning wraps around you, offering a momentary reprieve from the summer heat. Your family gathers around, each bearing boxes and bags, your father leading the charge, excitement edging out the fatigue from the long journey.

The apartment is small, but sunlight floods in through the window, illuminating the space. You set down your things and start unpacking, every box you open feels like a jigsaw puzzle piece of your former life. You pull out familiar items: your favourite books, photographs of cherished memories, and trinkets that remind you of home. You try to create a haven in this unfamiliar place, but each item evokes a sense of longing for the past. As evening approaches, your family finally settles into your new life for the first time. You gather around a small table in the cramped kitchen, sharing a simple meal, yet the conversation flows with newfound hope. You share laughter, but it’s accompanied by that underlying tension of change, the bittersweet tug at your heart as you remember what you’ve left behind.

The next day, you wake up with a sense of anticipation. Your parents suggest an adventure to explore the city - an effort to ease the transition and help you feel more at home. The three of you step out, sunlight pouring down as you embark on your first day of discovery. The city unfurls around you, vibrant and alive. You snap photos as you walk by the iconic skyscrapers, Times Square, and Central Park, taking in the sights and sounds that feel both exhilarating and overwhelming. The energy is contagious, and for a moment, you allow yourself to fantasise about new beginnings and the adventures that await. Your parents lead you to a bustling pizzeria, its neon sign glowing invitingly. The aroma of freshly baked crust fills the air, drawing you in as you join the line of eager customers. You scan the menu, excitement bubbling within you. This is it; today you’ll have your first authentic New York pizza. When the pizza arrives - steaming, cheesy, and generously topped - you can hardly contain your excitement. You each grab a slice, the cheese stretching in a glorious mess as you take your first bite. The flavours explode in your mouth - a perfect blend of savoury sauce, melted cheese, and fresh basil. It’s different from the pizza back home, heartier and bursting with flavour. “This is amazing!” You exclaim, joy flooding through you as you take another bite, feeling a hint of comfort amidst the chaos of change. Your parents share amused glances, pleased to see you enjoying this small taste of New York.

You spend the rest of the day exploring more sights - visiting landmarks like the Statue of Liberty and the vibrant streets of Brooklyn. Each moment brings laughter and newfound excitement, helping to momentarily ease the ache of longing for your old life. As the sun begins to set, casting a golden glow across the city, you stand on a street corner with your family, taking in the skyline. It’s breathtaking, and for the first time since the announcement, you feel a flicker of hope. Though the shadows of doubt linger, the pulsating heart of the city calls to you - a reminder that perhaps this is not just an end, but a new beginning waiting to unfold.

Monday arrives, blazing with sunlight and possibility, but all you feel is a growing knot of anxiety coiling in your stomach. The morning drags as you dress - donning the outfit you hope will help you fit in while trying not to think about how different everything is. Your parents offer encouraging words over breakfast, but they fade into the background as your heart races in anticipation.

As you approach the enormous building that houses your new school, the sound of laughter and conversation spills out from the open doors. The sight of students bustling about - some confidently chatting with friends, others navigating their phones - sends your pulse racing. “Okay, here we go,” you mutter to yourself, taking a deep breath. With a hesitant step, you cross the threshold and enter the chaotic world of University Heights High. The sheer size of the hallways overwhelms you. Lockers clang shut, mingled with the sounds of trainers squeaking on the polished floors. You clutch your schedule tightly, scanning the names of unfamiliar classes as you navigate through the crowd. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach fluttering chaotically. Just as you feel the weight of uncertainty threatening to pull you under, a voice cuts through the noise. “Hey! New girl!” You turn to find a confident girl with striking red hair approaching you. Her eyes are bright and inviting, and she flashes a warm smile. “You look a little lost. I’m Natasha,” she says, extending her hand. “Y/N,” you reply, shaking her hand. “It’s my first day here.” “Welcome to the jungle, she quips, her smile infectious. “Trust me, once you get used to it, this place isn’t so bad. Follow me, and I’ll show you the ropes.”

Feeling a sense of relief wash over you, you fall into step beside her as she navigates the hallways with ease. “What classes do you have?” She asks, glancing at your schedule. “I’m in Biology first period, then Algebra, and… um, History,” you stammer, peeking over at her as she nods. “Perfect! We have Biology together, so you’re in luck. Just stick with me, and you’ll be good,” she assures you, her confidence easing your nerves. As you enter the biology lab, the atmosphere shifts. The room buzzes with chatter as students mingle and gather around lab tables. Natasha leads you to an empty table in the back where you find a few familiar faces already seated - students who seem just as curious about you as you are about them. “Everyone, this is Y/N. She’s new here,” Natasha introduces you, a spark of enthusiasm in her tone. The others glance up, smiles appearing on their faces. “Hey, welcome!” says a girl with dark hair and lively green eyes. “I’m Wanda. If you need help with anything, I’m your go-to.” “Thanks,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through you. “And I’m Clint,” adds a boy with a cheeky grin. “I promise I won’t do anything to embarrass you… unless you want to have a little fun with pranks. Then I’m totally in.” You chuckle nervously, the tension beginning to dissolve as the class starts. As the teacher begins to lecture on cell structure, you find yourself sneaking glances at Natasha. She takes notes with ease, clearly engaged, while occasionally sharing smiles with the others.

After class, as the bell rings and students rush out, Natasha looks at you with an encouraging grin. “See? Not so scary, right?” You nod, a grateful smile lighting up your face. “Thanks for being so nice. I was really nervous.” “Oh, trust me,” Natasha said, playfully rolling her eyes, “everyone is nervous on their first day. Just wait until you meet our lunch crew. It’s seriously a motley bunch, but you’ll love them.”

As you walk towards your next class - Algebra - Natasha continues to share tidbits about the school. “Let me guess, you’ve never heard of ‘the Great Pizza Argument’?” She asks, a knowing grin spreading across her face. “Uh, no?” You reply, puzzled. “Oh, it’s a massive debate in this school. You have to pick a side - New York style or Chicago style. It’s all in good fun, but you’ll see!” You can’t help but laugh. “That sounds pretty intense for pizza!” Natasha chuckles, her laughter infectious. “Welcome to New York. Pizza is serious business.” After a few classes, you start to feel more comfortable, especially as you chat with Natasha between lessons. By lunch, the nerves have mostly subsided, replaced by excitement as she leads you to the cafeteria.

The cafeteria buzzes with energy, students spread across tables, animated conversations swirling around you. You step into the cafeteria, the delicious aroma of food filling the air, mingling with laughter and chatter. Natasha looks at you, a playful glint in her eyes. “Brace yourself. This is where the real action happens.” You follow her to a large round table where a diverse group of students is already gathered, their laughter ringing out like a welcoming beacon. Natasha gestures for you to sit, and you take the empty chair next to her. “Everyone, this is Y/N,” Natasha announces, her voice brimming with excitement. Instantly, all eyes turn to you, and you feel the ebb and flow of curiosity and warmth. “Hey there! I’m Sam,” says a tall boy with an easygoing smile, waving a hand. “Don’t worry, we don’t bite.” “Unless it’s pizza,” adds Clint with a grin, causing everyone to chuckle. “I’m Steve,” says a handsome guy next to Clint, his demeanour friendly yet steady. “Welcome to our crazy crew.” You nod, feeling the tension in your shoulders ease a bit. “Thanks! Nice to meet you all.” “And I’m Bucky,” says a dark-haired boy, his gaze steady and warm. He smiles, but there’s a hint of shyness behind his demeanour that makes you feel more at ease.

“So, what do you think of the school so far?” Natasha asks as she digs into her lunch, and you realise you’re hungrily eyeing the spread on the table. “It’s… different,” you admit. “In a good way. A bit overwhelming, honestly.” Sam nods understandingly. “Yeah, it can feel like a whirlwind. But trust me, you’ll get used to it. How was your first class?” “Biology was okay. Pretty interesting stuff,” you reply. “And everyone seemed nice. Natasha helped me a lot.” “Of course she did,” Wanda interjects, rolling her eyes playfully. “She probably gave you all the insider tips we missed when we were new!” Natasha laughs, “Guilty as charged. But seriously, Y/N, if you ever need a breaking-in strategy for teachers or classes, I’m your girl. You just have to promise not to use my name in the process.” “I promise,” you say, grinning as you finally dig into your plate.

The conversation flows freely, each friend sharing funny anecdotes and snippets of their lives. They discuss various school traditions, classes, and upcoming events, their camaraderie infectious. You find yourself leaning in, laughing alongside them, feeling the weight of isolation that followed you from your hometown begins to lift. “So, do you have a favourite food?” Sam asks, nudging you playfully. “Pizza,” you answer automatically, then pause. “Wait, can I say that? I know it’s cliche, but I’ve been really craving it.” “Of course! You’re in the right city for it,” Steve assures you. “You’ll be having all kinds of pizza by the end of the week. Just wait until you try the slices from Joe’s or at the World’s Best Pizza. It’ll blow your mind.” “The Great Pizza Argument is on!” Natasha chimes in, mock-seriously. “New York style is the best. No contest. Chicago? It’s a casserole, not a pizza.” “Careful; you might start a war!” You say, laughing. “But I’m definitely pro-New York. after that first slice, I’m convinced.” “See? She’s already on our side!” Clint exclaims, giving you a thumbs-up. “You’ve made your first important decision in life here!”

You share more stories, passing jokes and jabs as the lunch bell rings, signing an end to your first meal with your new friends. The chatter around the table heightens as everyone gathers their things, moving toward the exit. “I’m so glad you joined us today,” Bucky says, his gaze thoughtful as he walks beside you. “You really seem to fit in. It’s not always this easy to find your groove around here.” “Thanks, Bucky,” you reply, feeling a small warmth at the compliment. “I was definitely worried about how it would go.” “Don’t stress about it too much; we’re here for you,” he assures you. “If you want, we can show you some more cool spots after school. There’s this great coffee shop nearby where we hang out sometimes.” “I’d love that,” you say, excitement spilling out in your voice. As the afternoon classes roll on, you find each lesson more engaging than the last, buoyed by the camaraderie of your new friends. Conversations and laughter spill over into each classroom, making the daunting experience of a new school feel like an exhilarating adventure. By the time the final bell rings, you’re riding a wave of happiness and belonging that feels foreign yet wonderful. Natasha nudges your shoulder, a knowing smile on her face. “You did great, I knew you’d rock it. Ready for our coffee adventure?” “Absolutely! I could use a pick-me-up after all this excitement,” you reply, your spirits lifted and the earlier anxiety replaced with eagerness.

The group shifts into motion, and you follow Natasha, Bucky, Clint and Wanda out of the school, laughter and chatter bouncing off the walls as you weave through the throng of students. The sun is bright and welcoming, casting a golden glow over everything, making the city feel alive and vibrant. As you walk, Natasha pulls out her phone, glancing at a map app. “We need to take a left on Fifth and the coffee shop will be a few blocks down.” “Sounds good,” you say, intrigued by the urban landscape around you. The buildings seem to stretch almost endlessly, and everything buzzes with life. You notice street performers setting up nearby, the sound of a saxophone drifting through the air. “Hey, check that out!” Wanda points toward a small stage where a musician is playing soulful tunes. “Let’s watch for a few minutes before we head out.”

You all gather around, momentarily captivated by the performance. The musician pours emotion into every note, the soulful melody painting the air with warmth. You lose yourself in the music, feeling a connection forming with the city, a thread of something that could be called home. “This is kind of amazing,” you say, glancing at your friends, who nod in agreement, their faces lit with smiles as they sway slightly with the rhythm. “Welcome to New York,” Bucky says, his tone light but with a hint of sincerity. “This city has a way of surprising you when you least expect it.” After a while, they start to move again, and you join the throng as you continue making your way to the coffee shop. The chatter among the group flows seamlessly as they introduce you to more jokes and stories. “I can’t believe we finally found someone who loves pizza as much as we do,” Clint laughs, playfully elbowling you. “You’re officially in.” “Does this mean I get the pizza crown?” You tease back, feeling a camaraderie building with each word exchanged. “Absolutely! But first, you have to earn your stripes at the coffee shop,” Natasha smirks.

When you finally reach the coffee shop, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods wraps around you like a warm hug. The ambiance inside is cosy, adorned with mismatched furniture and quirky decor that makes it feel perfectly welcoming. “So, what’s your go-to order?” Natasha asks as you approach the counter. “Um, I usually go for a caramel latte,” you reply, glancing at the menu board above. “I see you have great taste. I’ll get you one, on me!” Natasha says, beaming. “No, I can’t let you do that,” you protest softly, feeling a sense of guilt creep in. “Seriously, it’s no big deal,” she insists. “Just consider it a welcome gift.” As you navigate through the cafe line, you feel a sense of belonging washing over you. When it’s your turn, you place your order. Once you have your drinks, the group finds a large table near the window, sunlight spilling over the space and illuminating everyone’s smiling faces. You all settle in, laughter filling the air as you sip on your drinks. Stories and silly banter flow freely, and you find yourself relaxing into the rhythm of the group. Sam dives into a hilarious recount of a past mishap during gym class, illustrating it with grand gestures that have everyone in stitches. “Dude, you should have seen the look on Coach’s face when you fell,” Clint wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes. Even as the jokes bounce around, you feel a little spark of something magical growing within you, a realisation that you might just be starting to carve out a niche in this new place. Natasha catches your eye, and in that moment, a silent understanding passes between you: this is just the beginning.

After the drinks are finished and laughter fills the air, Natasha leans in closer, her voice lowering slightly. “I know you’re still getting settled, but I think you’re going to fit in just fine with us. We’ll show you everything there is to love about this city.” “Thanks, Natasha. I really appreciate it,” you say, sincerity in your voice. “I was really nervous about starting over, but you’ve made it feel a lot less daunting.” Bucky chimes in, his voice gentle, “It takes time to adjust. Just remember, we’ve all been in your shoes at some point. But with friends like us, you’ll have a great time, I promise.” “Right!” Natasha agrees, raising her cup in a toast. “To new beginnings and finding home in unexpected places!” Everyone raises their cups, a chorus of agreement ringing out as you clink your cups together with a soft tinkling. “To new beginnings!” You echo, the words rolling off your tongue with newfound hope. As you settle back into your seat, the chatter begins again, and you can’t help but feel a warmth spreading through you. The laughter, the friendly banter, and the sense of belonging envelop you like a cosy blanket. This was it - this was what you had been missing.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Wasted 6

Warnings: drug dealing/use, violence, noncon, and the usual. Proceed with caution.

Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far.♥♥♥♥

The other girl in this one is from Black Light

Part of The Club AU

The lights flash in tandem with the poppy beats. Bodies writhe, voices bubble, and alcohol flows. You’re bumped by a dancer nearby but ignore them as you let the drink in your hand spill over the rim. It’s the first time you’ve been wholly uninterested in a cocktail. It’s your bait, and if need be, your cover.

Your eyes search, finding little out of the ordinary. It won’t be easy to spot him, you’re sure. There’s couples all around, drinks carelessly left on tables or swishing in hand. There’s no shortage of sexual tension or drunkenness here.

The bartender signals and draws your attention. There’s a small girl flitting around behind the bar with him; not his usual accomplice. You couldn’t help but pity the bandage around his finger that had him slow in mixing. You have your own troubles.

You slip your phone out and text your new partner-in-crime. You’re not entirely sure she’ll do much but she’s oddly loyal and rather endearing. She has the kind of I don’t give a shitness that you admire. Not your own repressed stoicism but a genuine lack of caution.

You stare at the phone for a minute, waiting for the small icon to show if she’s read the message. It doesn’t change and you sigh as you lower the screen. It might take her a moment. 

You wave through the crowd, hands wander, grope, and you dodge a few stumbling men here and there. You turn back, not sure what you’re looking for. Your plan is starting to seem less tenable as your anger succumbs to practicality.

You look at your phone again. Still no answer. 

Well there is a last ditch idea. A trap you can only hope works. You put your cup on a table nearby. You give a bit of a sway trying to act tipsy before you drag your hand away. You pretend to dance and forget about it, hoping to retreat to some corner where you can watch for predators.

As you shimmy your hips and peek over your shoulder, you bump into a stealthy figure moving in the opposite direction. You bounce off of them and catch your balance, keeping your cool as you face the bullish man. Long dark hair beneath a ballcap, a black bomber jacket, and a gleam in his eye that turns your blood to ice.

‘It's alright, baby, you'll feel it soon.’

An echo slithers in your brain, itching in your ears as you wince. You stare at the man, brows drawing together. You smell vodka and feel a cold splash of deja vu. You know him. You blink as the memory of the bar flickers in your mind.

“Hey,” you point at him, “you owe me a drink.”

Your own words slap you with another strike of familiarity. He tilts his head and chuckles, waiving away your pointing finger. You retract your hand, lightning zipping from his touch. Your heart hammers.

“Fucker!” You bark and lunge for him, “it was you–”

He catches your wrists before you can latch onto his jacket. He squeezes until your bones ache and he pulls you off kilter. You try to stomp his feet as fire scours your insides. A dull pulsing awakens in your core.

“Come back for more,” he taunts as he backs you up, “what’s say we go somewhere classier than the dumpster?”

“Get off of me,” you sneer, twisting your arms helplessly.

You hit another couple and a girl squeals as her partner growls in your direction. The stranger, your accoster, snaps at him to back off. His order is potent.

“Fuck off me!” You try to yank free. “Fuck OFF!”

“You keep fighting and I’ll have to bash you harder,” he warns as he angles you through the crowd, keeping you on your heels as you try not to topple, “I’m gonna take me time tonight.”

He flings you forward and you stagger backwards, arms swinging for a stronghold as you barrel down the hallway. You hit the wall and slip to one knee. Your phone flies against the opposite wall and you look up at the man advancing on you.

“Scream,” he speaks above the music, “do whatever the fuck you want. They’re not gonna hear you.”

He grabs you by the throat before you can fend him off. He lifts you to your feet and you punch his shoulders as he turns you, your back colliding with a door that swings inward. He pushes you inside and spins with you, pinning you against the inside of the door.

The wall quakes with the sheer force of the booming music. Your voice is swallowed up as you holler and curse at the man and his grabbing hand. He won’t stop , swiping, scratching, and groping at you, pulling up the tattered hem of your denim skirt.

“You bastard!” You shriek and you scratch at his neck, kicking around his legs as he keeps his hand around your throat, “let me go–”

“You’re giving me mixed signals there, baby,” he leans in to snarl in your ear, “coming back to find me if you didn’t want some fun…” he pushes his hand against your jaw until it’s forced shut. “If it makes it easier, I got some molly you can pop.”

“Gooorffffffyyssslllllll,” the gibberish can barely rasp through your clench teeth as your ‘go fuck yourself’ is lost to the cacophony.

“Don’t say I didn’t offer you a good time,” he shoves his other hand against your panties, poking his middle finger between your folds, “be a good girl and you won’t wake up with the garbage.”

[jonnysinsectcatalogue]

Coralina Locust Nymph - Dissosteira carolina

It gets more difficult every year to offer up a red-colored insect in celebration of Canada Day. Of course, there are several familiar and iconic insects to pick (such as the Milkweed Beetle featured 2 weeks ago), but maybe that's too easy. As it happens, I wasn't sure what to upload, but mother nature seemed to hear my oddly specific problem and answered. Moreover, she answered in way let allowed the blog to continue showcasing insects from some of the more neglected insect order. As such, what do I find among the pine bushes while weeding the patio stones? A very conspicuous Orthopteran walking and climbing among the needles! I couldn't tell you how it got there, but I'm happy to have found it. Sure, it's a brick brownish-red color rather than a brilliant saturated red, but it will do, and what a beautiful specimen it is. While that brick-red coloration might be out of place in a verdant environment, it is intended to be used in a sandy, stone-filled environment in order to camouflage against the ground and more lithic elements.

Crypsis and remaining motionless are the best options this young Grasshopper nymph has to survive since its wings haven't grown yet. Upon arriving into adulthood, this specie will be capable of hurling itself long distances and then using its dark, yellow-bordered wings to truly fly. As such, this individual was at great risk up in the pine bushes, so I picked him up and placed him in the grass below, and then it scampered away quickly. While photographing this nymph, I noticed a few things like I'd like to bring to your attention. There are dark stripes/blotches on the inner hindleg of this Grasshopper (best seen in Pictures 1 and 5). As well, if you look at the pronotum (thoracic plates) of this jumping insect, take note of the notch in the pronotum. Apparently this notch is characteristic of this specie and helps differentiate it from other mottled and gravelly Grasshoppers, and yet, it's such an obvious thing to see. Combine these 2 observations and we for sure have a young Carolina Locust identified. Nevertheless, how it wound up in a pine bush, I'll never know.

Pictures were taken on June 30, 2024 with a Google Pixel 4. Happy (day after) Canada Day! Have a great adventure!

[popculturebuffet]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem Review and Analysis: This Films What Makes Me Feel Alright

Hello all you happy turtles! It's time to grab some pizza and party sized cool ranch doritos and pull your old high school sketchbooks out of some ancient backback in your closet, it's time to talk TMNT: Mutant Mayhem. As a massive TMNT nerd who was beyond hyped for this film coming from the powerhouses of both Point Grey Pictures and one jeff rowe, how did the film stack up? How did it spin kick on it's own? And why did they think Bebop nipple piercings were a good idea? All this and more under the cut, with FULL SPOILERS so if you haven't seen the film, you've been warned.

A New Coat of Ooze: Mutant Mayhem's story of how it came to be is oddly familiar: a massive movie company who has an iconic IP has no idea how to use said IP on it's own, and taps creators who have had some recent noticable and well loved succeses to make them a hit.

If that sounds familiar.. it really should as it was sony's creative desperation to get something spider-man centric only they would get profit from out that lead to Into the Spider verse and i'ts sequel. So it's funny and endearing to me that a film that wouldn't of gotten away with it's utterly unique and grungy art style without spider-verse.. happened for pretty much the exact same reasons.

Like with spidey, Paramount.. really didn't know what to do with TMNT for a while. And it's weird because when they first aquired the heroes in a halfshell from mirage, they had a pretty solid plan: the 2012 show, while messy as it went on, started out really promising and was a huge hit. The IDW comics prior to it were a massive hit for the company and are STILL around today, having outlasted other long term idw liscenses like transformers and having kept a consistent continuity for a decade while also leaving room for crossovers with ghostbusters, the mighty morphin power rangers, the goddamn batman and now street fighter.

So what went wrong? Simple.. they tried WAY too hard to mimic the transformers formula with their theatrical film, Ninja Turtles, not only not getting that audiences were tired of "Micheal Bay makes a weirdly sexual comedy about your childhood and it may have robots", but what really made the franchise work. The sequel from what i hear is slightly better but it just wasn't enoguh. Not helping is they quickly lost their shit on the tv front, as after the 2012 series concluded, they launched the creative, hilarious, and gorgeous Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.. which proceded to last only two seasons because it wasn't an instant hit, aka the same issue most nick shows fell into, not helped by the fact that Nick also seemed to pick up Cartoon Network's bad habit of hating action shows. We DID at least get a really good Rise film that gave the series a nice epilogue, but it's still sad it sputtered out so fast.

So Paramount turned to something they really weren't using.. their film animatoin department.

Paramount Pictures Animation is neat to look into as it had a steep rise.. then fell right off a cliff. It was a bit spottier at first, producing two of the charlie brown films, Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (And don't come back) and my beloved Race for Your Life Charlie Brown... mostly for this theme song.. okay ENTIRELY for the theme song.

And scattered experiments like Cool World, which was so good Ralph Bakshi punched a man over what they'd done to his idea, Bebe's Kids, and Beavis and Butthead Do America.

It wasn't till the late 90's and the nick boom they really started seeing success with the rugrats movies, jimmy neutron, spongebob and even the failures like Hey Arnold and Wild Thronberries were still neat. And yes i'd like to talk about any and all of these films at some point, they made up my childhood etc etc.

Eventually they got a cushy partneriship with dreamworks, still releasing the ocasional original effort like Rango, Barnyard and TinTin (The last of which I WILL be covering next august, I simply didnt' have room in pirate month this year. Once dreamworks left.. it seemed like Paramount genuinely had no clue what to do with the animation divsion. We had things like Sherlock Gnomes or Wonder Park, and the ocasoinal spongebob movies but it's clear that with Nick constantly cutting itself off at the knees they had no idea what to do. The closest they got was the turdtastic loud house movie and the totally awesome Rise of the TMNT films on netflix, but they just had no idea what they were doing. I mean it's telling that their trying to get extra paw patrol tickets by promiting a double feature with saw X. I.. I wish that was just some stupid joke I made as it's comedy gold. Eventually they came across an idea: Stay the course in focusiong on ips they own.. but bring in someone who knows what their doing to create something truly jawdropping.

So for Mayhem Parmount brought in two proven successes. The first were producers Point Grey Pictures, helmed by friends, writing partners and permenant teenagers Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg. Rogen has made quite the name for himself as a producer. While Point Grey started as mainly a way for Rogen to produce comedies starring himself and a pre-outing as a sex monster james franco, over time Rogen has proven to be REALLY good at making adaptations, with point grey having had a hand in both the Boys, which I haven't seen but seems to be a MASSIVE improvment over the original comics , which isn't hard but it's still nice they tried, and Invincible, one of the best superhero shows PERIOD and a fantastic adaptation that changes what needed it, moves around pieces and ultimatley creates something really special. So tapping him to adapt a big property like this was a no brainer. He even had animation experince thanks to Sony Pictures Sauage party and while this was Point Grey's first family production, it's clear it wasn't too hard for Rogen to adapt. As for their director they picked a hell of one: Jeff Rowe. For those not familar with him Rowe helmed the Mitchells vs the Machines, sony's first post spider-verse success and the film that helped codify the 2d on 3d style that spider-verse made popular and peanuts pioneered. And it was clearly just ont hes trength of word of mouth alone as Rowe went right from machines to mayhem and only got better. From interviews, the two worked really well together: Rogen was hands on but didn't make the mistakes lord did of being way TOO hands on, simply pitching neat ideas, adding to the film and clearly being heavily involved, while still letting Rowe steer the ship. Rowe in turn learned to have a good work life ballance and give his employees one, preventing the kind of nightmarish working conditions present on other flims such as, sadly, Across the Spider-Verse.

For the direction of the film Rowe was a fan of the franchise as a kid, specifically the toys. He recalled a really sweet story about he and his dad spent a saturday trying to find Tokka and Rahzar and really loved the toys designs and uniquely grungy astetic. As such Rowe really didn't lean into or heavily research the rest of the franchise. Which set off my alarm bells when I read it in a review close to release: after all a LOT of bad adaptations come out of the person adapting it not giving one iota of a shit about the source material. Eventually though I realized I was .. over panicking. What jeff meant was more "I don't want to be overly reverent to the material and see what we can do on our own with the basic concept' rather than "THE TURTLES ARE GOD YOU FOOLS GODS. GODS I SAY!". There are still little nods in there and bits taken from other series; There's a mention of the turtles taking in a knicks game (something that happened in out of the shadows), April's design borrows heavily from her design from Rise while still being unique, Donnie has glasses like the bay movies, there apparently was a miyamoto usagi sticker on a notebook (thanks tv tropes for noticing), and there's a TON of refrences to the 87 continuity as it's clearly the one rowe knew best. And while I do get a LITTLE tired of that being the one continuity most creators seem to lean on the most, I don't hate it and plan to binge the whole giant thing soon I just feel there's a LOT more turtles to pull from, paticuarlly the idw comics, the nods are neat stuff like them having their belts form that series, the various obscure mutants. The Ninja Rap even shows up. Rowe and Rogen clearly love them some turtles.. they just wanted to do something new with it and I completely love and respect that. The biggest swing and the one that's paid off the most was leaning on the teenage aspect. Rowe and Rogan were baffled that no other version of the franchise had done the obvious: Have actual teens voice the turtles. There are reasons for that: For the various tv shows it's simply easier to know the va's wont' age out of the roll, and to the 2012 and rise series credits, they both still tried to make the turtles feel younger and had va's that still made them sound sorta like teens, paticuarlly rise... but it's not at all a bad concept and i'm shocked it took this long for someone to try it.

Another aspect was having the boys all record in one booth. Rogen had the idea.. but Rowe had to explain that it'd be a sound mixing nightmare.. but eventually agreed to it when they tested it out and he saw how much having the four actors playing the turtles riffed off each other and just how much material they got out of the boys adlibs. It adds a natural feeling to the boys conversations: it feels like four teens riffing who just happen to be turtles. It was indeed an audio nightmare.. but the nightmare was worth it and Rowe was greatful and apologetic to his sound crew.

The final bit was simply taking from teen movies, the film even outright has the boys watch Feris Buller's Day Off, which gives me one of my faviorite lines in the film, courtesy of Raph: "Being in high school means you can hyjack a parade whenever you want. "

There's more to get into as we go but with the film opening decently and paramount being so confident in the film pre-release they announced a two season tv show and a sequel, the future looks bright for the green machines. So now we've seen how the pizza gets made let's see how it came out

Perfectly Sketchy: Rogen and Rowe's "Teenage Energy" philosphy went into the design. Rowe wanted to find a unique look for the film, but it was a bit of a puzzler at first: There's SO many incarnations of the tmnt, which one do you pick for this? Do you go with the mirage comics, the 87 cartoon? 2003? the next mutation if you huffed some paint? In the end Rowe decided

Instead he made a brilliant decision: if the film was going to feel teenagery, then why not have it look like the sketches teenagers make in their notebooks? It's an idea that just oozes brilliance and still fits the franchises history like a razor decked claw glove. Part of what made the early comics stand out was it's sketchy, frank miller-esque style, and the toys stood out for largely echoing that as much as you could in three dimensions at the time. So it still fit.. but did something entirley new with it. As as a result the film has a look that simply nothing else has: porportions on most things are off, the backgrounds arne't hugely detailed , did you when you were a teen?, but still pop gloriously, and the characters all have SOMETHING that would be off model anywhere else. One of the thugs in the turtles first act of vigilnate justice, for instanc,e has a weirdly crooked head with indents. It's a look that's perfectly stylitic, fits the series history, and it's a kind of weird that perfectly complintes a series that was already having our heroes fight space dinosaurs by the third issue. I especially love how the shurikens are not even yet still throw perfectly and Mikey's hey arnold head. It's a look that pops with creativity and the crew really took to playing with. It's a style that will, much like spider-verse lead to this, undoubtly lead to more unique swings and I cannot wait to see what people come up with as a result

Protecting a World that Hates and Fears Them

The film's core comes from a rather genius decision to simply pick apart a key part of the franchise... the fact Splinter keeps the boys isolated from humanity for most of their lives and encourages them to stay hidden. Now credit where it's due some continuties justify it well enough: sometimes splinters hiding from shredder, or already had a sweet rent free sewer apartment he set up for no reason, trying to find his lost son and complete his family while avoiding a mutated alley cat or simply was waiting till the boys could defend themselves. They often have a lot of enemies... but even that shouldn't mean they can't get an education or have friends. April and Casey stick by them no matter what. They should be able to at least try for a normal life or the idea of them WANTING more than hidnig all the time should really come up more. The only ones that have really tapped into this are the IDW continuity which is just now having the boys integrate post armageddong game, out of the shadows which from what i've read has a throughly intresting subplot about the boys wanting to become human and leos' resistance to the idea (which also makes him come off as a bit of a jackass honestly as it's not his choice and "We're turtles end of story" is not an excuse). We've had the turtles say move into an apartment but this is the first to just flat out ask: why CANT the boys at least try to live with humanity instead of under them? And if so why did splinter keep them apart?

It's part of what really grounds the boys in this incarnation and makes them feel so damn real. The other of course was the decision to have actual teens play them and riff off each other. We get them making unteiotnally douchey digs at each other, such as the other three mocking Leo attempting a batman voice, casually talk about how they'd like to meet drake or have brunch with tom brady, which leo no you can do better man, or do some goofy shit while april marvels at their stupidity.. and then double down when told it might make people like them less. By making the biggest attempt so far to make the turtles FEEL like teens instead of young adults, an evolution the franchise has been undergoing since the 2012 cartoon and honestly reaches it's apex here, it makes us feel for them that much more; These are just kids who simply want to be loved and accepted, like any teenager. That awkwardness, wanting to fit in, wanting to simply belong.. it's one of the most painful parts of a teen and transplanting that to the tutles wa sa brilliant move. One of the earliest scenes is what sells this the most: the boys going to see Ferris Buller's Day off.. and just wondering what it'd be like to be normal. That lost shot of them sadly returning to the sewer... looking on screen at something they only wish they could have... it's so heartbreakingly beautiful.

The reasons WHY Splitner restricts their time in the outside world and refers to humans as "the demon scum of the earth. They lust to destroy that which is diffrent than them"

Giving Splinter a deep fear of humans is a brilliant move. It's something that really coudln't be done in most incarnations as he's been the pet of a martial arts master who treated him well, said martial arts master living in a sweet sewer apartment after being clumsily blamed for murder, got reincarnated as a rat after dying in ancient japan, a martial arts master who turned his back on his heritage because his clan let his family die, became a movie star, fucked a spider lady, had said spider lady put him in gladatorial games, then got depressed after becoming a rat but gladly adopted his sons. Here they strip that away and we're left with a splinter who was just a rat who was yelled at by other animals, shooed by humans just for trying to survivie and whose only friend was a cockroach.. who he ended up eating after humanity killed the poor guy. Finding the boys also abandoned in the sewers and covered in ooze, as oozual, not only made him into a rat man.. but also gave him the one thing he never had: a family. We also get a REALLY adorable montage set to de la soul's eye know that makes me REALLY glad the copy right hurdles around them are gone so we don't have another spider-man no way home situation because the song both slaps and has a nice soothing tone that really fits. We'll get more into the music on i'ts own later, I just really love this montage.

It also makes what follows..

We see that Splinter GENUINELY tried to go out into the world.. and the result was humanity throwing things at him despite carrying 4 small children and said children nearly being hit by a car. It's a really unsettling sequence. While yeah everyone going "rat man" and throwing things is a bit on the nose... given how a LOT of humanity acts to LBGTIQ+ persons, People of color, diffrent religions I could go on but i'm depressed enough as is, it's not really that much of a stretch that they'd throw things at a rat just trying to show his sons the world. It reminds me a LOT of the x-men and it's honestly weird to me that the othe rbiggest mutant franchise int he world HADN'T taken a page from them sooner.

It gives the film nuance: Splinter IS objectively prejudiced, leo even says so directly, but you can see how those prejudices formed and why he's so terrified for his own kids. He's worried a world that hates and fears them will also hate and milk them.. a runner that while awkwardly phrased, I don't think Seth or Jeff have heard of the term milking before, is hilarious, especially the usual refrain of "we don't even have nipples. " He just wants them safe and happy and you can tell he really does love them. He taught them the martial arts to protect them.. and the how is also really clever and a really fun idae: instead of "I learned it from a book" Or "I happened to be owned by a ninja master" or "I was reincarnated" we instead get him teaching them.. via martial arts films, instuctional videos, and the ocasional youtube thing. I love it because it honestly makes way more sense than it should as shown in the animation: splinter watched the films, learned the movements himself and then taught the boys. It's also a nice bit of meta text as Jackie Chan himself is a practicing martial artist who makes martial arts films and did his own stunts. One of his films is apparently even in the montage. It's one of my faaviorite takes of the film.

One of my faviorite scenes is Splinter's biggest pet the dog moment: the pizzza party. Splinter brings in a bunch of pizza hut pizzas

It's neat because it both clearly misses the point, Splinter really dosen't seem to get that simply bringing down a bunch of pizzas to have a human style prom and having kelvin captain kirk cutout won't fill the void inside. I mean I could think of a lot of uses for a chris pine cutout, i'm not saying it's a bad gift and it's sweet he's trying SO HARD to get his boys to open up and Jackie Chan just nails the dad energy on this one. It's just clear that they don't want to stay there there whole lives as safe as that is.

What brings it to it's head is one of the films more brilliant decisions. Originally, while I haven't found many specifics the film had other antagonists: Baxter Stockman was originally the boys teacher (they went to school during the course of this film in this draft) and became the fly again, while Shredder was TCRI"s heavy in earlier drafts. Both were nixed, the former likely due to abandoing the school plot and the latter for the entirely on the mark decision that it was just too much. Shredder.. is THE arch enemy to the turtles. The one constant in every universe. So it makes way more sense to save him for a sequel and let someone else take the reigns. As Rowe has teased Shredder's going to be a bit of a wakeup call: just as the boys think they have it figured out .. in comes shredder to kick their asses. Which really has happened A LOT across the franchise, with it being a regular tradition that the shredder beats the shit out of the turtles the first time they fight. Even in IDW where they do rally and turn the fight on it's head.. he still easily handles them all one on one before they rally as a team. It makes sense to save their ultimate test for a sequel while still giving them one hell of a trial by fire

Instead we got Superfly, who better fit into the fantastic racisim narritive. If the boys want to get love and acceptance by fighting for a world that hates and fears them x-men style.. it only makes sense they have a magneto on that other end.

Like Magneto Superfly has a tragic backstory behind his hatred of mankind.. Superfly was the creation of Baxter Stockman and what they did with Baxter both completely floored me.. and drove me to tears. Instead of what he is normally, either a put upon target coerced into villany who strikes back at both the turtles and those who wronged him, or a narcsitic monster who will gladly do whatever he wants and kill anyone in his way, here... Baxter is just a deeply lonely old man who just wants a family. At worst he steals from TCRI.. but given we see their a horrifying company who wants the mutants as weapons and will gladly torture teenagers for a buck, it's not hard to side with him. It's really nice ot see a heroic baxter.. and sad to see him go so quickly.

It puts Superfly's hatred in perspective: like splinter he saw just what huamanity does and how his kind is treated and grew up having to raise his younger siblings. Like Splinter he seems to really love them. And like splinter his attempt to take his siblings topside.. went horribly wrong with them being chased by an angry mob for just..c oming to a snack bar. But it's right after that we get the clear diffrence: Splinter just ran in fear and while he trained the boys ot protect themselves, he just wants a line between himself and humanity. Superfly.. wants them all to pay. He wants to mutate the world that killed his dad and drove him and his siblings into hiding. The only way they can be accepted.. is if humanity is mostly gone and what's left are enslaved.

IT's that sadistic streak that ultimately defines him as a villian: the turtles just want to be accepted, splinter just wants to be loved, the rest of the mutant "cousins" just want a home and have been indocrinated and browbeaten into thinking there isn't another way. Superfly.. wants things his way: he wants blood, he wants revenge and if anyone stands in his way no matter their age or being his family he will kill them. It's that anger inside that makes him a true monster.

And that extends to his own family. Superfly's an abusive parent to Splinters flawed but loving one: The rest of the mutants turn stone quiet when he subtly/notsubtly threatens the turtles if they happen to disagree, and during the chase not only are they all desperate to get the thing back but Wingnut in paticular gets the most telling line

Wingnut: Superfly's almost here and he's not going to be as nice about this! Leo: You're not being nice! Wingnut: He'll be less nice!!

While the other mutants SEEM jazzed during the bowling alley scene, it's very clear later none of them were that enthused about the idea. Both sets are afraid to speak to their parental figure.. but the diffrence is clear in motion: the boys hide from splinter because they know he'll say no, it's a standard teenage thing and as seen with the pizza party when Splinter finds the various knick knacks they've picked up on their heroic journey, his response is to try to bring the surface to the sewer. It's awkward as hell and dosen't remotely work.. but it's still a sweet gesture and you still feel bad for him when the boys quickly leave to finish their half assed plan. Splinter ultimately wants what's best for his kids and even if he's not always right in carrying that out, I never doubted he actually loved his children.

This all brillantly comes to a head towards the end: While Splinter plans to just.. isolate the turtles after their nearly milked, the one time he seems GENUINELY angry the whole film, he still wants to save April, the one good human, who warned him the boys were in danger in the first place.

This leads to a touching bit in itself: the boys COULD fight the other mutants, their trying to do a genocide after all.. but instead the boys.. just talk them down. I mean i'm used to this kinda thing by now, most animation these days is about forgivness, but it still works: earlier when meeting each other the turtles gladly bonded with their cousins, who i'll talk about in more detail later: Mondo and Mikey were both chill, raph finally found some people who liked to hit stuff, presumibly while blasting Limp Bisikit, it was really sweet. THeir relutance to stop them added a nice dimension to things: they UNDOUBTLY want to stop superfly's plan.. but they genuinely like their cousins and see them as good people in a bad situation. Likewise the cousins are utterly destraught at the fight afterwords and miss the turtles. These are simply at the end of the day teens 20 somethings and whatever scumbug is who just wanted to not be chased iwth torches.

So it's utterly heartwarming when the turtles and splinter simply offer their home. They may not have humanity.. but they'd have each other. It's also YET ANOTHER idea that seems obvious in retrospect but most turtle series never really thought of: why.. can't other mutants stay with them? They usually order suplies and stuff descretley anyway or in this case take them out of nescsity, if they can afford pizza for 5 people reguarly, why NOT let other smove in. I mean I get it meta wise, you dont' want to overcrowd things. But it's a nice thought i'm glad gets realized: that the boys aren't alone and now have a whole new family to lean on.

And of course Superfly can't take that. To him there's only one way to go: never stop making them pay. I'll also say I like just how poweful superfly is: he's got strength inunerablity, and super smarts, which I thought was a nice touch. I assumed he woudln't have baxter's intellegence and I'm glad to be wrong. He's only stopped and only then breifly by sheer numbers.

What follows is a LITTLE on the nose, with superfly just.... saying outight he and splinter aren't so diffrent, down to both having said "You'll be safe if you just LISTEN TO ME".

That part.. dosen't quite work for me. What does work is the animation on splinter during the struggle between everyone else and superfly.. the dawning realization of what he is as Superfly states the obvious and his determination as soon as Superfly says "the diffrence is i'm not a punk". Superfly just wants to get revenge on a world that hates and fears him.. Splinter just wants his sons to be happy. And he finally realizes that even if there's a lot of risk involved, they DESERVE to live out there with everyone else. There is something better than hiding or murder.

I also like how Superfly.. drops the pretense: once his plans done he just goes on a massive kaiju attack: I also like how fucking horrific his form is: the whale part's a bit goofy at first.. but then you see how much STRENGTH that gives him as he destroys it. Even if we get the ocasional joke (I didn't need that horse is gold), for the finale Superfly is just a nightmarish, imposing threat that threatnes to run our heroes lives and also maybe end them. The glee he takes in crushing the boys alive... it's fucking terrifying.

I also love the bit of the boys panning... seeing all the destruction.. and seeing the media blame them too. Their trying to HELP people.. and get blamed. I'd suggest moving to krakoa but a lo tof shit has went down and living with one old man full of fear and regret is what started this whole caper. And the boys.. fight on anyway because it's the right thing to do. Despite all the hate... someone has to stop superfly. And in doing so.. April makes sure they get the glory and praise they deserve anyway.

Finally I love splinter's turnaround right before the final fight... where he admits he was wrong.. but hasn't FULLY turned around on humans. He's simply realized he can't let his baggage with humanity weigh down his sons. And it pays off brilliantly during the time square fight, as when Splinter is downed.. someone helps him up. And what I love is that while it COULD just be someone who saw April's newscast clearing the turtles and other mutants.. it's left ambgious. As far as we know it was just a nice guy and gal helping an old man up regardless of if he was a giant rat or not. It dosen't paper over all the films flaws with the rat man mob scene but it does help quite a bit.

The film brillantly tackles prejudice and I like how unlike most films.. there's no easy answers. Our boys have to do something big and loud to get accepted and it's not guaranteed to shield them, as seen with the stingers. THey find friends , activites and get what they want.. but it's likely not the end.. but that's okay. The important thing is for the first time the turtles are out of the shadows and into the sun. And it suits them. Seriously this last twist was brilliant and i'm shocked it took a tmnt this long to just.. let them be public since 87, and since media has evolved, it means when we get to the series we can actually explore what that means: how will they adapt? will everyone accept them? will april realize Leo is into her and it wasn't just a friend thing? there's a lot of questions I can't wait to be answered.

Change is Constant

I didn't have a good segway so.. CHARACTERS! MY WHEELHOUSE. LET'S GO.

Starting with the boys, their more of a package deal here. They still have unique deisgns, takes on the cores of their personalities, all you'd expect from a good tmnt adaptation.

What changes it up a bit is the recording together: while most sets of turtles have great chemistry, this one.. really feels like their brothers thanks to the shared recording: they talk over one another, dunk on each other and goof around. This has always been a thing, and part of the franchises charm, but how they do it here feels more real, helped by the fact they clearly took some adlibs in. Both the BTS bit where they try to comfort Donnie only to both mangle the lyrics and writhe in pain and the bit with the new york accents both sound like the boys just started riffing on the prompt given, didn't stop and they rolled with it because it was comedy gold. It also means a LOT more pop culture refrences.. but it works. It dosen't feel like too much

Admitely I don't know how current the refrences are to ACTUAL teens, but they work well enough and don't feel like their horribly date the film. Plus it'd be.. weird to have a turtles work that didn't reflect it's era in some way, as all 4 cartoons and most films and comics reflect their time either in writing or in the general vibe.

The downside to this is the turtles indvidual personalities, while present.. get kinda underplayed. Leo and Raph make it out fine enough: After the radience that was Rise Leo and ben schwartz being at his peak slacker doofus (while also still being badass), we're back to Leo being Teachers Pet. But thankfully like the 2012 film they play with it: like that Leo his brother's don't really respect him as a leader, but rather than the usual raph snarling at him like wolverine, here it's more just their his brothers, they woudln't respect him anyway and benig their dad's mouthpiece just makes them ignore him harder. He's the dutiful son but he's simply outnumbered. Raph dosen't get a ton of spotlight, but gets enough to be a fun little murder baby and probably my faviorite of the 4. Instead of the usual brooding loner, sometimes ultra violent sometimes just sassy, often both, here he's more an obnoxious older brother who picks on leo the most, is happy to do dangerous stunts and badly needs therapy. He's essentially Reese from malcom in the middle as a ninja turtle. He still loves his brothers and loves a good scrap, but he's got some issues to adress.

Mikey and Donnie likewise aren't bad but kinda one note: Mikey gets it the worst: he's a bit goofy.. but since they ALL are this incarnation it dosen't stand out as much. He gets some nice bits and one hell of a impariment shot, but not much else.

Donnie fairs better, but suffers from the unintended consequences of a good choice. As part of grounding things a bit, Donnie isn't a super genius. He's just a snarky little otaku who does really like tech, but on the resonable level of a teenage boy. As a result he dosen't get as much to do as most donnies as he's not hotwiring shit as often or making super lasers. It works for me, it's intresting to have a donnie whose just a normal kid who happens to be really nerdy, but it means plotwise he dosen't have as much to do as Raph as the ringleader to the boys mischief or Leo as the leader of the band during hero stuff. I get why: they only had a hundred minutes and it's remarkable they crammed as much in as they did, but it's something I really hope the series can course correct. I don't mind the boys riffing and hope it continues, but I also hope we get them more as their own people too.

As a final note I love Leo's crush on April. IT feels like a better realized version of the Donnie one from 2012. Instead of waffling over wether april notices or just dosen't want to turn him down which..

And then having it go from cute to "spiraling obessive dickhole", here April notices something's weird, but is clearly more intrested in the "giant talking turtles who can help my rep" thing and thus dosen't really pry. It only REALLY crosses into that at the end when he transparently asks her out.. and she waits till prom to ask "wait this is a friend thing right". But that could be nerves or her being just as scared of her feelings as he is with his. It also helps that while he's intrested in april romantically the two do bond: out of the four he' sthe most empathetic at her barf reputation, priortizes her not out of his crush but because she asked for their help and later works with her at her club. It's still somethign the series could work on, but for "a way to both mine jokes and get leo to go against his dad's wise council" it works fine. It's better than "how dare you ruin my ship you bastards" and "Mikey stop being a sex creep. "

So moving on to April herself, I mostly like this version. She's the third time this franchise has gone with a teen april and the third to have her POC. I've liked the turn to teen april as instead of being a big sister to the turtles, and essentially another authority figure when they already have their dad, she's on their level and it opens up fresh possiblities. Mayhem is the first with this take on april to have her be a reporter again, and it's honestly nice to see that work at a school level, having her TRIED to be on their equivleant of channel one.. and end up puking. And i'm not a barf joke man but walking back into the theater after a bathroom break to see her ralphing to "UnwritteN" may be one of my faviorite cinema moments of 2023, up there with walking back into Barbie to find she and ken now had cowboy outfits they'd apparently stolen.

I also love how it gives her a personal stake: she just wants to be loved same as the turtles and like them realizes this isn't WHY to do this. She also provides a nicely needed straight man to the goofier brothers without being reduced to the old sterotype of "Joy killing female foil. ", something her fellow teen aprils and most aprils in general have thankfully achieved. April is just a person and reacts with annoyance to the boys because their going on a 4 minute tangent saying new york sterotypes while mike does a rumpshaker.

We do have to unpack that mostly though and that comes from April being kind of a dick at time's. She's pressuery when the boys are undercover with SUperfly's gang.. even though she can HEAR what their saying.. and thus hear that he's clearly indocrinated the others and that the boys may not want to harm THEM. I get her not wanting Superfly to succeed, his plan is fucking horrible, but even for a teen it's weird she dosen't see the nuance. She can also be a bhit short with them, though the latter I acknolwedge in hindsight as being like the boys: she's a teenager and teens aren't perfect. This is still a great april and continues Ayo's streak this year of great voice acting roles.

The other mutants are great. I was worried: While the cast for them is fucking stacked and Seth called in a lot of his rolodex to fill it out, and himself as credit where it's due he tends to show up in shit he produces and bring his absolute best rather than showing up because he can, i've seen plenty of films fall flat because they tried to add too many characters from the source. Just this year I felt one of the biggest issues with Transformers; Rise of the Beasts is that they tried to jam so many autobots and maximals in, a total of 10 but didn't bother to give any of them but optimus, bee and mirage an actual character.

Here while the characters are one note, they have charming designs and work more as a unit like the boys, but are still friendly and likeable enough that your fond of them like the turtles and happy when they join the family. The breakout is easily natasha dimoscu's wingnut. I already loved wingnut, but this is easily the best verison: she's cheery kind and gets some great subtle jokes, the wifi one is fucking great as is her swiping Donni'es akira voices. All of them are pretty charming though. The only one to not really feel like a character is Hannibal frog, a sad waste of hannibal burgess, but everyone else gets something fun to do: Bebop and Rocksteady are rageholic morons who then get a sweet character arc as they realize their rage is because Superfly ENCOURAGED them to be constantly angry, and it's fun to see a version of them that's genuinely heroic. Not so fun is Bebop's pierced nipples.

I am genuinely baffled by this design choice. I don't doubt Bebop would get pierced nips, it' sin character. But why Seth thought anyone would want to see that, why he made HIS CHARACTER HAVE THEM, OR WHY HE MAKES IT SO PROMINENT will be a question that will haunt me for years to come. Or until we get creators commentary to explain why he hates viewers eyes. For the record I have nothing against nipple piercings, I just question why anyone thought giving them to Bebop was a good idea. OR their so large or

I also like Scumbug and i'm happy to see Splinter in his first relationship where his partner hasn't died horribly or put him in gladiator games. I did not need to see them make out with clone high level tounge. I"ll let this discord conversation with my good friend @kammieceleek handle the heavy lifting.

I mean their a cute couple but please, NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN. NEVER AGAIN NEVER

Anyways capping us off we have TCRI, who are decent enough. I like remaking them as this sort of paramilitary goon squad that shows the worst of humanity. Cynthia herself.. is fucking great. I like that to anyone familiar with Krang, it's DAMN obvious who she either is, or is a stand in for, with the name, apperance and Maya Rudolph somehow doing the Pat Fraley krang voice and tics while also doing a thick german accent. She's a brillaint combo of over the top hammy.. and an utterly sadstic monster, shocking the boys just for speaking, not carring that they don't really belong to her, and willing to kill them just to get her super weapons. She's what a remade krang should be: still over the top.. but also dead seriously terrifying. My only complaint is she's a bit OBVIOUS as a sequel hook. Like Rowe was really banking on that sequel and i'm never a fan of when films do this when they don't KNOW this story will continue. It is clearly, with the film slowly picking up more and more money and more than enough in merch, but he coudln't of known that.

So with that we just have one bit of buisness to wrap up

Yo Jeff Drop the Verse

The soundtrack for this flim is liquid gold. It's so good to my ears and full of such nice cuts. Guardians cemented my love of needle drops in film in tv: If you can pull it off well do it. And this film does it so damn good. The film skews to hip hop, likely due to wanting a "Tony Hawk Pro Skater" vibe, which really does fit teendom well. I will admit it's also pretty explicit here and there, so kids may be disapointed to find they can't stream these songs, but it's still a stacked selectoin

So before I break it down track by track, something I regret failing to do with spider-verse as like this reveiw it was massively behind, I whipped up a playlist as Parmount's own leaves out several tracks. While I get the what's going on bit being left out as that bit is a good suprise why it has'nt been added weeks out from the film I don't know. You can find it here

Ante Up is a song i've heard maybe once or two here, but is a perfect gag for the opening grocery run, while still showing off just what our boys can do.. even if their doing it for some party sized cool ranch doritos. Which is still a great reward.

Danke Scheon shows up in the clip of feris buller. This dosen't really count but I do think the film is a perfect fit, since John Hughes was an inspiration for this film, and it's an idealized version of the freedom the boys desperately want. Not a John Hughes film I was ever a huge fan of, but it works and that "You can hyjack parades whenever you want" joke is so damn good.

Now we come to a track I wasn't familiar with but is easily my faviorite now: Eye Know. I"m glad more films are using De La Soul's music, mostly because it makes ME want to know them better as I haven't heard much and even after really enjoying three is the number, thanks to the weird rights limbo it wasn't avaliable to stream ad nauseum when No Way Home came out. Thankfully just a few short months ago, the whole De La Soul catalogue is up. This song is a really gentle, really fun love song with one heck of a chorus, and it nicely meshes with Splitner raising his adorable little children. It's one of my faviorite scenes of the movie.

The next track is another perfect selection but for something more hilarious and badass: While Push It To the Limit verges on a parody of training montage music it works for one where we find out the turtles and splinter learned ninjitsu from movies,, instructional tapes and whatever they could scrounge up. HOw their learning is awesomely rediculous, so it needs backing that's cheestastic.

Love is an Illusion by Ronnie Walker was nice for Leo falling for APril. It's a really crisp, dreamy love song so it fits.

Okay look i'ts only there for a second, but I can't tell you how much I love Ninja Rap making a cameo on this soundtrack. The soundtrack is cheesy good and one of the more iconic ninja turtle songs for a reason. It's not as good as say Pizza Power or the various awesome theme songs, but it's goofy fun that fit the film it was in. It's also one of Vanilla Ice's better songs, though that isn't huge compettion especially since he made a weird as fuck sequel I still can't comprehend that was also compeltely ninja turtle free for some reason.

Cavern By LIquid Liquid is fun, a nice chill beat to meet turtles to.

Dance by ESG is already a fun song and fits the boys going full blast on their plan well. THat's.. about it. THankfully I have more for unwritten. I'm not a fan of Vomit humor most of the time unless you have a paticuarlly inspired twist like say. a mad scientest making everyone in the room vomit at a bar as a thought experiment leading to an image like this

That's just beautiful. But i'm just not a gross out guy, so this gag working for me was a lot... setting the most embarassing moment of April's life to FUCKING UNWRITTEN, a song I heard 998 times over the course of the 2000's as every fucking movie and tv show overused the hell out of this throughly mid song, it was transedeant. First and only good use of unwritten. Well done.

Now we come to what's easily the best musical bit of the movie. And it has some steep competition from Eye Know and another song we all know is coming, but the No Diggity Scene is just one of those sequences that once you see it you know "This shit is iconic". This is a scene that's now etched in tmnt lore and for damn good reason. It's also a brilliant way to get up to the chain to superfly and have a few weeks of sluthing and our heroes getting better pass as our heroes easily blaze through some goons and those shots of EACH turtle getting to burst in and lead the assault?

And look I admit this montage hits a sweet spot that was also started by guardians: setting an action montage to music that somehow fits despite having no right to. In this case a mellow smooth as hell jam perfectly complmenting some frantic action. So fucking smooth.

Wake Up in the Sky grew on me as let's face it, a song that has bruno mars saying fly a dozen times nad saying he's super fly works. I just don't like it a lot because trap is'nt something that fits me musically. I prefer more intricate beats or at least a really solid one thorugh the whole thing. The more relaxed beatwork here isn't for me, but I can't deny it fits Superfly's big debut well.

Fitting me much better is the use of Shimmy Shimmy Yay for the bowling scene. It's fucking great, a song that's never not awesome and that's also a bit low key while being way more my speed.

The use of BOTH major versions of What's Up? .. is an easy close second for best use of music int he film and one of the most brilliant masterstrokes. And this all comes to Seth Rogen. When the chase scene wasn't quite working, he suggested the slackcircus version of he man. It's also awsome in that the song's themes of isolation PERFECTLY fit what the mutants are going through. So not only did they manage to stick one of the best meme songs in human history in a feature film.. but they did so with it being ENTIRELY relevant. The switch from the 4 non blondes version to slackcircus is fucking genius and the song adds nice manic energy. It'll also hopefully give this song a rightful ressurgence as the heman cover is , while hilarious, also GENUINELY good. The original ain't too shabby either.

The boys version of butter is hilarious and got me to listen to the original which is alright. Mr. Lonely isn't a bad song, and perfectly fits Splinter's mope session.

Finally we have can I kcik it, an objectively awesome song. It fit the trailer perfectly and it fits our ending as our heroes are finally allowed to mingle with the surface adn get their happy ending beauitfully. A beautiful ending to a beautiful film.

So overall mutant mayhem is fucking awesome. If you haven't seen it after all this go see it, support the hard workers who made this film possible by supporting the ongoing strike and thanks for reading.

[allw3doisadvert1se]

Old Friends

Spamton sat quietly at his desk, no longer the office dedicated entirely to him, but just a small work station in the wing of the mansion designated for the marketing team. Everyone else had ran when the announcement came over the speakers that ASO was back, but Spamton just continued typing away, his iconic neon glasses crackling with static. He didn’t particularly know how to feel about The Founder’s return, or the fact he was now being watched 24/7 by a man who already didn’t like him. All he knew was work was money, and money was his key to not ending back in that same god damn dumpster all over again … alone, starving, cold.

His concentration was interrupted by the lights in the room he was working in cutting out, bathing him in darkness. He raised his voice. “HE-H-HEY!! WUTZ thE BIG [[Deals, Deals, so many Deals!]] WHO CUT OUT TH3 >liGHTs?!”

For a beat, silence … followed by footsteps coming from an open window in the room. Spamton produced a pipis, holding it above his head like a grenade ready to be thrown. “[[Show thyself]] YOU [[Hateful Shrew!]] I’VE G0T A [[pipis]] AND I’M NOT AFRAID 2 [[pull the pin, pop it in the bowl-]]!!”

The voice that responded to him was distantly familiar, someone he knew before being exiled by The Founder. “Come now, Spamton, is that really any way to treat me? You slighted against me once, but that was a long, long time ago.”

Multicolored lights emerged from the darkness, forming the outline of a tall, corvid butler in a pristine suit. Though mechanically modified somehow, Spamton couldn’t mistake a familiar face when he saw it in front of him. This was Swatch, clear as day. It seemed despite The First Unit’s failure to locate them before being overthrown, that lost time was made up for now. But … why were they back? Spamton looked on with suspicion. “UR A BIT LATE [[buddy pal chum amigo brother homeslice breadslice dawg]]. THE NICER [[Man in The Big Chair]] WAS LO0KIN’ FOR [[Only youuuuuuuu…]], BUT NOW THEY’VE [[bee]]N-”

“Taken back down a peg, yes, I know. A being relying on resonance is bound to lose on the grounds of resonance … it’s just sort of a given. I’m here now because I fear that with the new harvester resonance that’s being transmitted, we can no longer rely on fighting Heinrich on his own battlefield.”

Spamton seemed confused. “HEINRICH? [[Guess Who]]’S TH4T?”

Swatch paused, and let out a quiet frustrated sigh. “The Founder, Spamton. You’d think that being one of his department heads at one point you would know your boss by his first name.”

“THE LESS [[Question 1: What is the powerhouse of-]] 1 ASKED, THE MORE [[delicious]] [[KROMER]] I WAS PAID!”

They held up a hand as a sign to stop arguing. “The point is, I’m taking the fight directly to ASO, and I need your help. Not for your physical prowess, Knight’s blade no…”

“H3Y!!!”

“…but rather because you are weirdly capable of inserting yourself into technology. So … here’s the deal. I’m recreating the NEO suit, but better than last time. More defense, even more sundering offense, greater mobility, I could go on … If I allow you to take control of it, and you use it to help me take down ASO and get this place back under control … you can keep the suit.” Saying that sentence very visibly made Swatch uncomfortable.

Spamton, on the other hand was ecstatic. The little puppet jumped around the room, his head growing in size as he laughed and laughed and laughed joyously. Eventually he sprinted back up to Swatch and shook their hand incredibly fast. He did note, through his joy fueled frenzy, that Swatch’s hand was oddly cold and smooth …“HAEHAEHAEHAEHAE! ALRIGHT [[Bird brain]], U GOT YOURSELF A DE4L!!! [[H e a v e n]], SPAMT-SPAMTON’S COMING!! U CAN’t KEEP HIM [[25% Off on Choice Padlocks]] FOR EVER!”

Swatch groaned, immediately regretting their decision to do this.

[timelordcapricorns]

Expectance (Dr. Animo x reader)

Quick note; not a single romance based fanfic about the most iconic Ben 10 villain has ever been made anywhere. So, with the help of @kingsleychizzard & the fact that I also think he’s kinda cute, here’s the very first! Reader is female. -Corn Puff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was supposed to be a normal day for you, you were off work today & had plans ready for the entire day. However, that changed quickly when you were snatched off the street by some frighteningly large cockatiel. How it managed to get the size of an airplane was beyond you. Before you could process the fact that you’d easily be dropped in one wrong move, you were brought into a random abandoned building & dropped onto a table. Shackles were instantly locked around your wrists & ankles before the table was leaned forward. Great, now you felt like Frankenstein, except you were alive.

“Perfect. Now I can properly test my latest invention.” that voice sounded way too familiar for you to not notice. Looking towards the source of said voice, you saw a man who looked old, but you got a glimpse of his face & were shocked.

“Aloysius? Is that really you?! You look awful, what happened during the last 5 years?” your voice made him freeze. When he looked back at you, it was obvious that he couldn’t believe it.

“(Y/n)? My old lab partner? The one who left me all alone because the news of my work left her full of hatred? The one who threatened to file a restraining order against me if I tried contacting her again?” his voice went from surprised to angry. Wow, 5 years & he instantly brings that up.

“Aloysius James Animo, you were doing incredibly cruel & unethical things to those poor animals! I should’ve slapped you when I had the chance.” you spat. He stomped up to you, but there was the slightest trace of hurt in his eyes. That was odd, his egotistical nature prevented him from feeling such things.

“Shut up.” he snarled. You stared at each other for a few seconds before he suddenly grabbed your face & kissed you. It was warm & passionate, filled with love, something you were sure he could never feel. It was so intense that you actually kissed back, but he pulled away soon after.

“You isolated me, it really hurt. I couldn’t bring myself to go outside partially because of you. The other part was because of what happened with my work.” he said as he undid your shackles. When you were free, you glanced at him & noticed that he actually seemed quite upset, his eyes fully displayed hurt now.

He walked away & sat at a desk, instantly putting his head in his hands, something he always did when stressed. What were the chances of you being reunited after what happened? Feeling the slightest bit guilty, you walked over to him & rubbed his back. He barely reacted, so it gave you time to think. All the times you actually hung out together, how gentle he always was with you, & then you remembered his face the day you left. He looked devastated, almost as if everything he cared about was erased. That’s when it clicked.

“Did you… love me?” you asked. He groaned in frustration & put his head down as the faintest blush appeared on his face.

“I still do, that’s the problem.” he mumbled. This whole situation just got incredibly awkward. You tried rubbing his back again, but he got up & just stood over you. The proximity certainly made you uncomfortable, but you couldn’t seem to back away.

He cupped your face & gently rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs before leaning in to kiss you again. Oddly enough, you wrapped your arms around his neck & deepened the kiss. This prompted him to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you closer. For the first time ever, you realized that he was rather broad & seemed to be well built. Your mind was then snapped back to the kiss when he licked your bottom lip. You honestly thought he’d be forceful, but he was actually being a gentleman & patiently waited for your permission. You allowed him to turn the kiss into a french kiss & your heart nearly melted from the sensation. By the time you pulled apart, the tiniest strand of saliva still connected your mouths, making you blush.

“I guess that means you love me too?” he teased. You simply responded by burying your face in his chest & hugging him. He chuckled & hugged back, clearly pleased with the display of affection.

[wil-is-done]

Leftovers

Summary: Another world-altering event, another group of children left to pick up the pieces. One girl, in particular, might still play host to a malevolent entity. The MK and the Psychonauts send in Raz and Lili to investigate.

Word Count: 2.077

-

Raz always finds the droning thrum of the Psychonauts’ jets to be oddly therapeutic, but maybe that’s simply a symptom of cabin fever speaking, caused by spending far too much time of his life sitting in one. But, until someone invents instant teleportation or portal tech that doesn’t involve horrific mutilations, the jets are the only reasonable option. 

“What was that about mutilations?” 

Raz shrugs at his partner, seated beside him. “Eh, nothing. Just mind ramblings.”

Lili stares for a moment more, before her eyes return to the windshield ahead.

Just in time for the jet to descend below the clouds and an iconic sign rises into view. A tad scorched and bent, but still easily recognizable. 

“Kinda wild that we’re globetrotting agents, and I’m pretty sure I’ve only been to L.A., like, five times,” Raz says.

“It’s the Mecca of entertainment, not of apocalyptic horror.”

Raz breathes a chuckle. “One more way Hollywood lies to us.” 

Lili wills the jet to bank left – a nearby parking lot looks just empty enough to park an aircraft on.

“Still think it’s complete bull how the gang shunted this onto us.” Raz stretches his legs, get the blood flowing again.

“Suck it up.” A flick of the wrist, and the jet rights itself above the lot, drawing dozens of eyes. “We had no choice. The mess over on the other Coast is… substantial.” 

“Dipper got to pick.” Raz hops to his feet, bouncing on his heels. “I wanted the train.”

“And instead, you got the frog brain.” Even as she starts lowering the jet, Lili smirks up at him. “Life on this bitch of an Earth.”

Raz leaves the cockpit, but not before replying with a wry smile, “Weird, wild bitch of an Earth.” 

-

“You two need something?”

The blonde one – Sasha – speaks first, after an age of the trio silently gawking at Raz and Lili’s approach. 

“Miss Boonchuy, Miss Waybright, Miss Wu. Hello,” Lili greets, because she gets to go first, like they planned. “I am Agent Lili Zanotto, this is Agent Raz Aquato. We are with the Psychonauts.”

“Sup,” Raz adds.

Lili exhales through her polite smile.

Eight years. You’ve been an agent for eight years, Raz.

Raz’s smile curls wider.

And I still got it.

“You know us?” Another asks – Anne. She steps as if to shield her friends, born from instinct. 

Lili maintains the cordial air. “Hard not to. You were responsible for some pretty incredible things.”

The spark shines in their eyes nearly all at once. A familiar look for a familiar feeling. The realization that when your world is turned upside down, you can’t ever really turn it rightside up. Have they reached acceptance? Probably not.

One of the girls at the back – Marcy, the person of interest here – seems especially spooked. Whispers of fleeing plague her surface thoughts. Might be time to step in.

“Also, we met. Hi again.” Raz waves at Anne. 

Anne blinks, glances at her friends, then back at Raz. “We did?”

“Yep. Spent most of the time deeply apologizing for the stuff that X guy did. Sorry about that, again,” Raz says, adding a cringe. Then, for some humor. “I’m also the dingus who got his ass swatted out of the sky.”

“Oh dang, that’s you.” Anne’s jaw drops. “You’re still alive?”

“Eh. Been through worse.” 

“Cool. Heartfelt reunion. Boutta bawl my eyes out.” Sasha’s turn to step in front of her friends, gaze narrowed and cold. “Now what do you government stooges want?”

Looks to be on the same wavelength as Lili. Raz nearly giggled.

“We are here because of your friend, Marcy.” Lili chooses her words carefully, clinically. “She was… cerebrally compromised, wasn’t she?”

Silence creeps out from the tree shades and overtakes this corner of the park. Anne and Sasha look towards each other, eyes lost, before both turn to the stone-faced Marcy.

“Was,” Marcy speaks, finally. “It’s gone now.”

“And we’re with you on that. We are sure it is,” Lili says. “We just want to make sure. A hundred percent sure. As Psychonauts, we can help you with that.”

Marcy’s tone is slow. “Help how?”

“We have a special device that allows us to enter a person’s mind. With your permission, we can easily hop in directly and have a look around. Nice and simple.”

Marcy is quiet, but not at all calm. Even without skimming her surface thoughts, Raz can tell.

“You want… to be let in?” Her voice drops lower and lower, like the shoreline receding before a tsunami. “You think, after what I’ve been through, I’ll ever let the door open again?!”

“Miss Wu, I promise the process is-”

The wave rushes back in full force. Marcy spins and runs off. Anne and Sasha don’t waste a second to follow her. Lili, cut off with her mouth agape, exhales a growl.

“You’re bad at teenage-girling.”

“Sorry I had to kill the girl to become the agent,” Lili retorts. “Where’s a Norman when you need one?”

“Norman’s better, but I’m not sure how effective he’d be to three teenage girls.”

“Good point.” Lili slides open her phone. “Where’s a Mabel when you need one?”

-

Not how Anne thought her day would go, but it never does ever since her thirteenth birthday. They caught up to Marcy at the edge of the park, faking a neutral face and steady hands. Anne wanted to push, but that scar is too raw, too fresh, for all three of them, so she zipped her lips for now. It’s almost lunchtime anyway, and she already promised earlier the day’s special at Thai Go. 

“Alright, girls, mind cleanse,” Sasha says as she drops their plates on the table, sitting opposite Anne. “The past hour? We don’t see it. Never happened.”  

Marcy, next to Sasha, is clutching her head, eyes closed. “Trying here, trust me.”

Still, something nags at the base of Anne’s memory. “But don’t those two look familiar, though?” she wonders aloud. “Feels like a pair of faces we’ve all seen before.”

“Pair of feces, more like. Eyoo!” 

“Sash, serious. It’s right there, tip of my tongue, just need to brain harder…” Anne clenches her eyes shut, massaging her temples, trying to squeeze some good brain juice to spit out the name she needs. And it works. “The Mystery Kids!” 

The name jolts her friends to attention. It’s a current that connects to the memory, connects to breaking newsreels, bold article headlines, and viral clips. Anne can see in their eyes, they recognize the name.

“Gotta be them! Those folks who legit saved the world a bunch of times.” Anne reaches across to grasp Marcy’s shoulders. “Marce, if they think something’s up-”

Marcy shrugs off her hands. “So what? We saved two at the same time, and no one gave us a degree or a certificate or anything. We’re still in middle school, they look like they’re in college. What qualifications do they have?” She hugs herself, suddenly so small. “For one last time, let’s just do what Sasha says, forget about it all, and just have lunch with- you!”

Mid-step, midway through Thai Go’s front door, a pair of Psychonaut agents pause. The goggled one points at himself. “Us?”

Sasha shoots out from her seat, spoon and fork on each hand like her old swords. “Case you didn’t know, stalking’s a crime.” She twirls the utensils, falling into a practised stance. “Or are you the types that think you’re above silly things like laws?”

“This is a restaurant. It’s lunchtime.”

“There are over 30.800 restaurants in Los Angeles. To have both our groups choose the same one is a statistical improbability!” Marcy rises and points at the agents like that fruity attorney. “You have a likely cause and intent. Now begone, government goggle-man!” 

The man shrugs. “Sure, fine, the Boonchuys own the place, so we went here. Not a bad bet, yeah?”

“Ha! An admission!” Marcy slams a fist on the table.

“See you on the judge’s stand, stooges! When we win this case!”

“Alright, you two, chill.” Anne stands up, putting herself between her friends and the agents. She maintains a passive expression, eyeing the agents. “Mister Aquato and Miss Zanotto, right?”

“Oh, ew, let’s not pull out the big Ms, yeah? We’re, like, five years older than you.” He lounges back, arms behind his head. “Just Raz and Lili is fine.” 

Anne has to admit, how disarming this Raz is, it’s nice. “How sure are you that Marcy has… Core leftovers in the brain?”

“Percentage-wise, zero,” Raz answers. “We’re not sure of anything. This is not a treatment, it’s a check-up. It’s going to your local GP twice a year.” 

“Or, perhaps, therapy,” his partner, Lili, adds. “More direct than a conventional session, and by no means a replacement, but achieves roughly the same result.”

“Yeah, advanced therapy. Think of it that way, if it makes you feel better, Marcy.”

The direct name mention makes Marcy bristle, but at least she sits down.

“And like I was saying, the process is completely harmless.” Lili steeples her fingers together. “In addition, you will be in there, with us, the entire time. Everything we do, you’ll be aware of it.” 

Anne watches her friends, closely. Sasha moves as if sheathing the utensils, eyes cast on her shoes. Marcy inhales a calming breath, cheeks tinted a smidge darker, tangling her fingers together.

“That’s… reassuring, right, girls?” Anne asks.

Marcy can’t quite lift her eyes. “Maybe my reaction earlier was a bit… premature.” 

“You’re touchy about being prodded in the noggin’. That’s perfectly sensible,” Raz says.

“Plus, let’s not kid ourselves,” Sasha sighs with a joyless smile, “not going to therapy is how this all went to shit in the first place.”

“Still your decision to make, Marcy,” Raz says.

Marcy closes her eyes, thinking for a moment more. “Can Anne and Sasha come with?”

“Of course, Miss Wu.” Lili nods, razor thin smile on her lips. “First, we might want to move to a more private place?”

“My place is closest,” Anne offers. “That good with everyone?”

A general nod or agreeing noise comes from everyone.

“Gotcha. I’ll tell my folks. But first,” Anne flips a menu into her hand, offering it to the agents, “basil and squid special?”

-

“Side note,” Raz grins, “government goggle-man? Definitely going into my business card.”

“It will not.”

“Will to.” 

“I outrank you.”

Raz chuckles, conceding.

After ‘accidentally’ running into the girls proved to be a smashing success, the lunch they shared afterwards smoothed out any remaining significant bumps between them. Anne, in particular, took on the lion’s share of convincing her friends. She’s got a certain aptitude and her particular experience really shines through in moments where it’s needed.

Next time they have seats open, Raz is definitely slotting her in as a candidate.

The short stroll to Anne’s house was lovely. Anne volunteered her room to be where the ‘advanced therapy’ takes place. Marcy is made to lie down on Anne’s bed with both her friends flanking her, holding her hands.

Lili stands next to Raz, holding the specialized Psycho-Portal with its underage safeguard removed, modified specifically for this extraordinary circumstance, and which will be promptly incinerated after the procedure is completed. Raz clasps his gloved hands together.

“Ready?”

Marcy breathes in, and out. “I’m all in.”

“Before we begin, Marcy,” Raz starts, “Some things you need to know, just in case we do discover… leftovers.” 

She swallows the growing lump in her throat, listening close.

“When we’re in there, we can help you, support you, be a solid bedrock for you to lean on. You can count on us.” Raz offers his best reassuring smile. “But, ultimately, the results of this, whether we succeed or not, it’s up to you. You have to want it. Sometimes, wanting to win is the hardest thing.”

For a moment, her eyes flicker with doubt.

“She’s got this,” Sasha says, her hold on Marcy’s hand strengthening. 

“Yeah. She’s been through the hardest thing. We all did.” Anne holds their joined hands close to her chest, the grip soft yet firm.

Just like that, the doubt is snuffed out.

Marcy closes her eyes. Lili places the Psycho-Portal on her forehead, then steps back.

The agents share one last, brief glance.

Might be bad in there.

Please. Nothing’s as bad as my not-grandma.

Lili concedes.

The Psycho-Portal opens. Light spills out, filling Raz’s vision. The hard part of his job begins. 

-

This fic was commissioned by @rarsonic, who wanted to see Marcy be investigated by the Psychonauts, and the MK by extension, over potentially having some Core leftovers in the brain. Super sorry for the long delay. Been a hot minute since I wrote for any of these characters, and I was for sure rusty getting back into it. Still, here’s hoping you all can still enjoy it.

If any of y’all are interested in commissioning me, it’s still open, folks! Details are on the pinned post.

[farfromsugafanfic]

Dangerous | Chapter 6: Morello

Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Bad Boy!Jimin, Bartender!Reader College AU

Pairing: Jimin/Named Reader

Rating: M | Minors DNI

Chapter Warnings: jealousy, slight angst

A/N: I know it's been literally forever since I updated this. I don't really have a good reason, but I'm hoping to get the rest of the chapters queued up to release over the next couple of weeks.

You're almost late to class as you had forgotten your water bottle and only realized when you'd already walked halfway. You'd just managed to get to class with a couple of minutes to spare, but you'd already worked up a sweat.

Luckily, your normal spot next to Eunha was free and you slid into it. You looked around the room, not spotting Jimin at all. While normally you kept your gaze away from the boy, you knew the two of you needed to discuss what happened the night before. It was obvious he remembered otherwise he wouldn't have left or would've at least left a note like he usually did. 

The instructor came in and class started. Jimin was nowhere among the crowd of dancers and as the music started, you couldn't shake the feeling from the back of your neck that it was because of you.

Class went by as usual other than Jimin wasn't there. It wasn't just you that seemed to notice his missing presence, you noticed your classmates looking around and glancing at each other, shrugging. When class ended, your instructor the typical shuffling when the music shut off. 

"Remember to continue working on your piece for the final showcase," she said. "It's going to take the entire semester to perfect and I want it to show a culmination of the styles you have come to perfect and love. I want to feel who you are through your dance. Keep that in mind as you're choreographing." 

As you gathered your things, you thought about Jimin's suggestion to include some ballet in your routine. While you could include some of the simpler moves and foot positions, doing anything iconically recognizable as ballet without risking re-injuring or hurting yourself in some other way. But, you knew Jimin was right, pushing your body to its extremes was the point of dancing. Bruises on your knees, injuries, sore muscles, they were all just part of the job.

You tossed your backpack over your shoulders and walked back towards your apartment. you caught a glimpse of a familiar black motorcycle parked outside the building. You looked up and saw Jimin leaning against it, he wasn't facing your way. You were just about to grab his attempt when you heard someone behind you. 

"Jimin!" Eunha ran out from behind you and rushed towards him. "Why weren't you in class?" 

"Ah, it was nothing. I didn't feel well, but I feel much better now that you're here." He handed her his second helmet as she climbed on the motorcycle behind him. Her thighs where yours usually sat and her arms wrapped around his middle.

You rolled your eyes before Jimin could notice you and headed towards your apartment. You couldn't fight off the sour taste in your mouth. It wasn't so much jealousy as it was sadness that you'd just been beginning to think that maybe Jimin had changed. 

[][][]

The club was oddly busy for a weeknight. You filled and refilled drinks constantly and shook cocktails nearly every second. You barely registered the music as you worked. 

As the night went on, the bar finally started to empty out when you had an hour left in your shift. There was only one man left at the bar and the majority of patrons at the club were focused on dancing. You recognized the man sitting at the end of the bar. He'd hung around Jimin and his friends the few times you'd seen them all together and you were introduced to him once, but his name evaded you. He was the quiet type, nearly never danced, preferred to just sit at the bar and sip whiskey or sit at the side. 

You'd occasionally catch his eyes slip over someone on the dancefloor. His eyes moving from their head down to their toes and lingering a little on the way down, but he never did anything about it. You'd even caught him checking you out a few times, but he would simply just look away and take a sip of his drink as if his eyes hadn't just been roaming the curve of your ass. 

The thing was, while he checked out you and various other people at the club, he never approached them or had anyone approach him, which was the part you couldn't understand. He was attractive. A bit short for some tastes, but his pouty lips and slim figure very much made up for it.  

You watched as his long fingers wrapped nearly around the glass as he sipped again. He locked eyes with you again, a smirk on his face that you could just barely make out through the glass. By the time he'd placed his glass back down on the bar, he was straight-faced again. 

You almost wanted to laugh at the way he was toying with you. You looked away, a slight blush on your cheeks. You unintentionally found yourself locking eyes with Jimin as he walked into the club with his arm wrapped around Eunha. 

He winked as he and Eunha made their way to the dancefloor. She began grinding on him almost immediately and you had to look away before you puked all over the bar. 

You didn't blame Eunha. Nearly every girl in your class would've killed to be in her position, but you wished that you could warn her before Jimin broke her heart. But, based on the way she looked at him through her eyelashes and smiled at him like he was a lost puppy, you knew she was too far gone. 

Your stomach turned and you almost the man at the end of the bar attempting to get your attention. Considering he was the only one at the bar (and cute), you didn't mind him shouting over the music for you to refill his glass. Most of the time it came off as obnoxious, but there was something about him that caused you not to mind. 

"You seem different," he said. "You aren't checking me out anymore."

"What?" you asked. 

"I'm not oblivious. I thought we were having some fun." 

"Mmm, yeah, just saw someone I didn't really want to." 

"Old boyfriend?" 

"I guess you could say that."

Yoongi drunk down half his whiskey before setting back down on the bar. "It's Jimin, right?" 

"Uh, yeah," you said.

"He told us everything about you and your plan to get back at him." Yoongi chuckled, fingering the rim of the glass and looking up at you. "He kind of deserves it honestly. He was still going from girl to girl until he met you again." 

"What do you mean?"

"After that night you two almost hooked up, he hasn't seen anyone else. Well, I guess until tonight. Normally, he was with a different girl every week, sometimes 2 or 3 a week." 

You rolled your eyes. "Still the old Jimin, I guess." 

"I wouldn't be too sure. He doesn't seem too happy that you're paying so much attention to me right now." 

You glanced over in his direction and you caught Jimin's hard gaze on the two of you. He didn't seem focused on Eunha at all, beyond his hands on her hips. 

"I don't know. He's seemed mad at me since last night. God, knows why." 

Yoongi's roamed over you again and he finished the rest of his glass. "When are you off?" 

You pulled out your phone. "Like twenty minutes."

"Want me to help you out? Your goal was to hook up with all his friends, right?"

"Kind of," you said. "I mostly just want to make him get a taste of his own medicine. What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Well, I don't really care for dancing like Hoseok, but I have heard that I'm a pretty good kisser and well, I wouldn't mind kissing you." 

[][][]

When you got off, you took off your apron and passed it on to the next bartender, thankfully not Chul-soo. You ducked into the bathroom and freshened up your makeup. 

You hadn't dressed up that night. You wore a simple scoop neck, long-sleeved T-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. You let your hair out of its ponytail and reapplied your lipstick. You could already feel your body coursing with anticipation at the thought of kissing Yoongi, as you'd come to learn his name. 

He'd stressed he wasn't looking for anything serious and didn't expect anything from you afterward, which was music to your ears. There was nothing you loved more than getting to have some fun without the expectation of owing him something. 

You emerged back out to the club to see Jimin and Eunha at the bar. It was obvious he waited until you were off to order drinks. You barely glanced as you passed by, but felt his eyes follow you as you approached Yoongi who still sat at on the bar stool on the end. 

"Hey Handsome," you said, flashing him a smile. "I'm off." 

He smiled, his gums showing and it made him look adorable, in great contrast to the sexy and serious personality you'd seen so far, and you loved it. 

Yoongi got up from his seat, abandoning the rest of his whiskey and wrapping his arm around your waist. 

"Wait," you said. You reached for the half full whiskey and downed the rest of it, enjoying the burn in the back of your throat. "Can't waste good whiskey." 

"God, you're hot," Yoongi said, a chuckle in his voice as he pulled you away from the bar and to one of the tables along the wall of the club. He sat down in the chair and his eyes widened as you climbed on top of him and straddled him immediately. 

"Eager?" 

"Tipsy," you said. 

"Just from that little bit of whiskey?"

"I might've snuck a couple shots on my break."

You smirked as your lips brushed his neck and his hands came down to grip your hips. "Think this old chair will hold us?" 

"Mm, well, I guess it if breaks you'll just have to catch me."

You smirked as you gripped either side of his face and brought your lips to his. He tasted bitter with just a bit of sweetness on his tongue, like whiskey. There was still alcohol on his breath and his lips causing a familiar burn as you pulled apart. 

"Wow, you are a good kisser." 

"Don't get too attached, baby. Remember, this is just a one-time thing."

"Better savor it then." 

You attached your lips to his again as you felt his hands move from your hips. One came to rest where your neck met your head, tangled in your head. He used the other to loop two fingers into one of your belt loops.

"He looks pissed," Yoongi said. 

"Good." 

You knew that kissing Jimin just the night before and then making out with one of his friends the next night was low, but Jimin had given you no explanation on why he was avoiding you or why he was suddenly with Eunha. Was it toxic? Yes. Was it unhealthy? Probably. Did you care? No.

"I think we should go home," he said. "Before either of us does something we regret."

You nodded, feeling the alcohol beginning to wear off and your body beginning to feel weighed down. "I'm getting tired anyway. Walk me out?"

You got up from Yoongi's lap and held your hand out to him with a small, lazy smile. He stood up and took it, returning your smile, although unfortunately not showing his teeth in the cute way he had earlier.

As you walked out of the club hand in hand with Yoongi, you caught Jimin's eye once again. He was sitting at the bar while Eunha was trying to pull him back out to the dancefloor. He was sweaty and his hair stuck to his forehead. You wanted nothing more than push his hair back and run your hands through like he always liked to do himself.

He quickly withdrew his eyes from you and went back to drinking. You could see he was still sober, only drinking a lemonade. If he was drinking, there would've been bottles on the bar. 

[][][]

"You don't have to walk me home," you said, pulling your hands from Yoongi's.

"Are you sure? I don't mind." 

"It's not far," you said. "I usually walk home. Don't worry." 

He nodded and headed off in the opposite direction. You crossed your arms as the night air bit through the fabric of your clothes. You were nearly halfway home when you heard the familiar rumble of a motorcycle and you watched as Jimin passed you with Eunha on the back.

You just continued down the sidewalk as you felt your eyelids beginning to droop. It was too cold for you to actually fall asleep, but you couldn't wait to get back to your apartment and fall into your bed.

You'd just crosswalk that meant you were halfway home when you the motorcycle again. He pulled up to the sidewalk just as the walk sign flashed on the opposite side of the road. He reached back and held out the second helmet. 

"Get on," he said. 

You knew you couldn't decline, even you wanted to. While you knew from the harbored tone of Jimin's voice that was still mad at you, but the idea of closing your eyes and resting against Jimin's back was too tempting to pass up. 

You fastened on the helmet and climbed on behind Jimin. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your head between his shoulder blades. You'd ridden on his motorcycle so much that you'd begun to feel comfortable. The air whipped around you and the feel of his body around yours. 

"Yoongi should've made sure you got home okay." 

"I told him not to." 

"He shouldn't have listened."

You rolled your eyes as the motorcycle lurched in the direction of your apartment. The ride wasn't long and you were slightly disappointed as he parked outside your complex. 

"Thanks," you said.

He just nodded and motioned for you to go upstairs. 

"Jimin, I'll be fine. Just go." 

"Inna, don't argue with me. Text me when you're in safely." 

You sighed and walked up to your apartment and walked inside immediately shooting Jimin a text before falling onto your bed.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

[tsuki-sennin]

*Deep breath* Wahahahaha~! Make way, peons! It's a festival, a festival I say! Coming to Sorashido City whether you like it or not! Wahahahaha! So... Princess Elle of Sky Land is feeling great sorrow? Well now... we can hardly have that now can we?

This tremendous sweet sixteen for Hirogaru Sky PreCure! Is it a worthy telling of such an iconic legend?

Oh, by the way, by the time you're likely reading this, it's the birthday of our very own Tsubasa Yuunagi~!

By the way, here be spoilers! You'd best tread with caution!

-Everywhere I go... I see his face. Tarou-san...

-Bwuh? Oh yeah, Ranborgs.

-And Captain Shalala just dipped.

-By the way Sora, I'm very proud of you for kicking so much ass last episode, you were awesome.

-Ageha, now hardly seems the time for puns.

-The birthday boy grits his teeth.

-Hello, Yoyo-san.

-"What's their fucking deal, Grandma?"

-Light and shadow. Heaven and Hell. North Carolina and South Carolina.

-Ohhhhhh!

-K

-Kira Kira Energy.

-...this feels oddly familiar.

-An apothecary~!

-Papa, Mama, yes~!

-Aw :(

-Kanashimi o taiji shite yu- No Tsuki! Restrain yourself. It's not yet time.

-Uhhhhh, theme song! I forget if I talked about it yet, but it's delightfully hopeful and (as expected of a Toei franchise) masterfully composed. The percussion especially is immaculate, a good percussion section knows exac

-Onitaijin.

-Ohhhh, puppet show~!

-Pretty Princess Butterfly.

-You are very based, Tsubasa. I forgive you, you filthy crimin- *Smack!* Focus!

-Momotaro~!

-We must hurry to Onigashima.

-Well, we could retell the story with an odd cast from previous seasons... Love/Peach would make a good Momotaro just off her name alone, you could make a strong argument for casting Kokone/Spicy or Akira/Chocolat as the dog, Asuka/Flamingo of course could be the pheasant as it's a neorinthe like a flamingo...

-I'm not quite sure who'd be the monkey in this case. ...Ako/Muse, perhaps? I'm genuinely not sure, I only started watching Suite a little while ago, but she does give me monkey vibes. Minori/Papaya'd make a good substitute if you don't think that counts though.

-She shreep

-Puppet play~!

-Don! Don! Donbura ko!

-Don Elletaro~! Fully formed and armed to the teeth!

-Prop recycling~! Wouldn't be a Toei production without it, huh?

-Well, you know how it is, Mashiron! Everybody loves to play with the tropes of fairy tales~! It's why we as a society love Shrek so much. And RWBY... and I guess if you're me, Saber.

-Yooooo! Nippon Ichi!

-Dango~!

-Furry Sora Jumpscare!

-Keep your face out of the kibble and we'll be just fine.

-Free Bread~!

-Elleeeetaro Zan, Elletaro Zan!

-And now... a Haiku.

Light from the blue sky

Caught in the shining prisms

Rainbows gayly form.

-Y'know, Shinichi would be giving Mashiro girl advice. And she'd go for it.

-We're all going pretty quick, eh? Mmmm... Momotaro had to do a bit of walking after.

-...there is a surprising (read: distressing) level of similarity between Tsubasa (Yuunagi, moderate amount of issues) and Tsuyoshi (Kijino, lots of issues).

-Y'know, male character in a predominantly female role, used for comic relief fairly often, being wildly popular among fans on Tumblr... all I'm saying is you might wanna keep an eye on Wing's love life. For his sake, and ours.

-We laughed, we cried, we had wacky misunderstandings, we had insane romance subplots, people died and came back, Kaito was there...

-To the port!

-Onigashima! Where the ogres gather.

-Ohhhhhhh

-There's something about the Underg, huh Granny?

-Elletaro's companions stand resolute in spite of their fears.

-This is the good stuff.

-...apparently the princess isn't quite a big fan. ...give it a few more minutes, it'll be really good.

-Here comes creepy Battamonda~! Who... most assuredly is not a Noto analogue. That's probably better reserved for Captain Shalala or from a certain perspective Kabaton.

-Oniiiiiiiiii~!

-Ageha may be voicing the Oni, but she's definitely no Haruka. ...if anything, she's much more of a Jiro type. Arguably even more so than whatever Fifth Cure we'll be getting.

-Hirogaru-ki!

-The special effects are ruined! Your suit budget is in shambles! The shippers are going apeshit!

-She walks!

-She speaks!

-She's done it!

-Baa~!

-The cloud has lifted.

-For Elletaro! Princess Elletaro~!

-...so uh... where're Sora's parents in all this?

-I don't mean to ruin this nice moment, but I find it a little concerning that they don't seem to have been appearing much.

-BIRDS

-"What up, fellas?"

-Instead of kidnapping, Battamonda prefers a spot of murder.

-Whoa, perfect catch!

-Hell yeah, Prism Punch!

-I love how floaty these fight scenes are.

-Down they go!

-Eat my ass, Battamonda.

-Keep moving forward! The princess says so!

-Wahahahahahahahaha! Shine on, dear companions!

-Whoa! Flash Bang!

-Man, the Sky Mirage just seems like a really neat little toy to play with.

-Into the mirror~! Okay!

-Mermaid Aqua Pot Moment.

-Have you considered maybe you're just a moron?

-Thank you again, Elle-chan.

-Walk style.

-Elletaro-san~! Elletaro-san~!

-Bread...

-So let's get the party started~! Don Don, Iitokomikke~! Tokuige! Ni mune harou ze Brother! WOO!

-Ah, uh, outro, outro! Very catchy, love the rhyme structure, the Butterfly teasing is making me seethe and cope, get your skinny ass in there already babe.

-Mashiron must run! And never look back!

-Now if you excuse me, I do believe I have an installment of a certain other franchise to get back to. One that also involves floating sky kingdoms, ancient legends, knights and heroes, a pig-themed villain, wildly bucking franchise conventions, gender stuff, and horrifying underground monstrosities.

-...look I could've just said "Zelda" and there'd have been no question, but that's okay, see youuuuuu~!

[written-words]

wayne stark

I wrote this for a challenge here: I had to combine 2 different fandoms, so I picked the MCU (Iron Man) and the DCEU (Batman) "Who- what are you?" Tony asked as he stared at the man before him wearing what looked like a good night gone wrong. This man looked fresh from a battle and was oddly wearing a black rubber suit with a hood-mask combination with pointed ears. Pointed ears? Really? Tony shockingly bit his tongue so as not to say those thoughts aloud.

Tony's stance changed when the man coughed and began dusting himself off. Something about the sound of it told Tony to keep his guard up. Who was this guy? Where did he come from? Why did he seem to just appear out of thin air? It wouldn't surprise Tony, all things considered, but that didn't mean this guy was friendly, either. He could be anyone.

"Who are you? Where am I?" the man asked him, his voice raw and his eyes trying to adjust to the light.

"New York City. Stark Tower, to be specific. My tower. As I asked, who are you, and what are you doing here?" Tony asked him again.

"New York City?" the man asked wearily as if trying to place the name of one of the most iconic cities on the planet.

"Are you saying you've never heard of it?" Tony asked incredulously. How could that be possible? There couldn't be anyone on this planet who didn't know of New York City. And this guy looked as human as they came, minus that ridiculous rubber suit.

"I was just in Gotham City," the man said, his voice keeping that gruff sound with every word.

"Where?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow. "I've never heard of that place before," Tony added. Where the hell was Gotham City? "What's your name?" Tony then asked. Maybe this would help him figure this out.

"Batman," the man said.

"Okaaaay, but what's your real name?" Tony asked.

"As if I'd tell you that," the man said sarcastically.

"I'll ask again," Tony started before touching the button on his bracelet, causing his suit to fly to him and assemble on his body, "what's your real name? I'm also known as Ironman," Tony told him. This guy was certainly something.

"Wait until I tell Victor about this," the man mused before he reached for his hood. "My name is Bruce Wayne. I'm from Gotham City, which is where I was about twenty minutes ago before I ended up in your tower," he recounted. "I don't know how or why I got here, but I'd like to go back now. I was in the middle of something, and who knows what will happen now that I am not there?" he added as if inadvertently accusing Tony of unwillingly bringing him here.

"Not sure how we're going to do that, but I'm certainly the man to figure it out," Tony said before Jarvis immediately began diagnostics on Bruce.

"What th-" Bruce started but stopped when Tony interrupted him.

"Oh, this is Jarvis. He's going to help me figure this out," Tony said. That was all he gave before reviewing Jarvis's data. Bruce was promptly forgotten. Bruce did nothing but stare at the other man, feeling a strange sense of familiarity. How was that even possible?

[n0bamak1s]

clueless - maki zenin x reader

request: “I was thinking Maki Zenin x Fem reader where y/n is really intimidated by Maki and has avoided her since they first met each other. Despite that, they both have feelings for each other and after a while Maki gets annoyed with y/n and confronts her to figure out why she keeps avoiding Maki. And then the reader accidentally confesses and says something like “how could I not feel intimidated by someone so hot!?”” - @wh0legrain

summary: it’s difficult for you to read maki’s intent when she tries to become more approachable to you, which throws of your plan of trying to avoid her at all costs. alternatively titled: maki zenin is terrible at flirting (genre: fluff, attempt at humor, idiots to lovers)

warnings: like one or two swear words, mentions of bruises/scrapes from training

word count: 2.6k

a/n: i honestly had so much fun with the dynamic between maki and reader here! i love the idea that maki would have no idea how to flirt lmao

“don’t look now, but she’s looking at you again.” panda, your current sparring partner, peered at her over your shoulder as you got into a fighting position. of course, out of curiosity you immediately turned around, and unluckily for your own ego, you made direct eye contact with maki. she seemed to have no intent of backing down from your impromptu staring contest, intense black eyes remaining on you, and had you not been so focused on trying to figure out what had caused this sudden interest in you, you’d have noticed the amused glint in her eyes.

did she really have no shame in being caught staring at you?

before giving yourself any more time to process her expression, you whipped your head back around to face panda. at least you were able to take note of the amusement on his face.

“i don’t get why she keeps glaring at me.” you huffed annoyedly, still feeling her gaze burn into the back of your head. shouldn’t she be busy sparring with inumaki? “if it’s about that one time i borrowed her uniform skirt because mine was in the wash, she should be more mad about inumaki and gojo taking it every time she’s on a mission to try it on.”

panda had a shocked expression on his face, as if to ask why the hell you knew about the boys prancing around in the girl’s skirts whenever the opportunity arose, but it was quickly wiped off to be replaced by a knowing sort of smile.

“no, i doubt that’s why.” his voice rang with the sing-songy sound of knowing something you didn’t, but you simply chose to raise an annoyed eyebrow at his annoying little game rather than question him.

even as you ran at him, fists raised defensively, you swore you could still feel a pair of sleek eyes trailing your movements. you slid to dodge panda’s swing at you, leaving a layer of dirt on the hem of your shorts. despite succeeding in avoiding sparring with maki, which admittedly sounded absolutely brutal, you felt extremely ungrateful for panda’s strength as he lifted you up by the wrist. somehow he managed to end up with you flipped onto your back, despite your best efforts to sweep his legs out from under him. if losing to a literal panda in a fight wasn’t embarrassing enough, it didn’t help that this was the moment maki had decided to suddenly start paying attention to you, a fact you became acutely aware of as she hovered over you, her figure shadowed by the sun behind you.

“you okay?” she cocked an eyebrow, extending a hand to pull you to your feet, making you suddenly conscious of how her legs were positioned on either side of you, so you laid beneath her. when you were unable to sputter out a response, she sighed softly, leaning down so she knelt with her knees resting on the dirt on either side of your thighs. a hand waves in front of your face, and makis brows furrow slightly. “did you hit your head or something because of that idiot?” she cocked a thumb at your sparring partner.

something about her sudden proximity seemed to shock you out of your distracted daze, making you push yourself up so you held yourself by palms flat on the ground. taking note of how close your face was to hers, the corners of her mouth turned up in a smirk, her lips parting slightly to show her teeth. you weren’t even sure if she was aware of the fact that she was smiling right now, or the effect she was having on your already embarrassed state as she leaned over you, her figure shadowing yours.

why was she so intent on making fun of you?

“i’m fine!” you managed to blurt out, pulling your knees close to you to escape the compromising position she’d put the both of you in.

her eyes remained playfully narrowed and her lips turned up, but as she opened her mouth to say something, you practically sprung up from the ground as if you weren’t bruised and tired from fighting, turning on your heel to go back to panda. you flashed an awkwardly apologetic smile, before shrouding yourself in panda’s shadow.

you found yourself grateful for the shadow panda cast on you, as it shielded your eyes from the sun, and the glare you knew was inevitably resting behind maki’s glasses.

the four of you remained sparring until the first glimpse of heavy gray clouds masqueraded the blistering sun. you helped panda up from where he’d laid on the ground, spotting out of the corner of your eye none other than gojo, who looked almost comical inspecting the state of the sky with his usual dopey smile while still adorning his iconic blindfold. had you not known any better, you’d say he looked like a complete idiot.

on the other hand, maki, who did know better, seemed to have no problem stating that he did, in fact, look like a complete idiot.

“so are you just gonna stand there all day, moron? or do you actually have something important to say for once.” maki crossed her arms over her chest, making her jacket taut over her muscles, catching your attention for the briefest of moments. you quickly averted your eyes back to gojo in hopes of not being caught staring as she had earlier, as if you were a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. though you couldn’t see gojos eyes, you could sense a sort of mischief from him as he smiled at you. was today just some weird holiday where people stared at you for no reason that no one had informed you about?

“you guys seem to have the sky on your side today.” gojo smiled widely as his gaze flickered between the four of you lined up in front of him. “since it seems to be about to rain, you guys can get off a little early today, just go clean up in the bathrooms if you need to.” he waved his hands at you all, in a motion that seemed to be shooing you away.

you begin to feel the beginnings of drizzling rain hitting the tip of your nose, and the top of your head, and take that as your cue to leave. letting out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding in, you unzipped and shrugged off your hoodie, throwing it over your shoulder as you turned towards the heavy doors of the school building. you’d only gotten a couple steps closer than you’d been before you heard the familiar sound of your name, called from the less familiar source that was maki zenin.

“wait up!” she called, taking long strides to catch up to you. “if we’re cleaning up now, i’ll come with you and i can help you if you got scraped or anything.” her hand rubbed the back of her neck, and a soft smile cracked onto her lips, egging you on to respond.

you furrowed your brows slightly. she had never bothered to help you out like this before, so what made it different. “i think i’ll be fine.” you hoped your embarrassment at the idea of the situation didn’t show on your face.

“tch, it’s not like i’m planning to kill you in there or anything.” honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if she had been. “it’ll just be weird if we’re both patching ourselves up in silence when there’s clearly a more efficient way to do it.”

screw her for always being correct.

you nodded your head in agreement in a way that was comically defeated. she motioned for you to follow her, and so you trailed behind her like a lost puppy.

though you had no way to prove it, you could’ve sworn that gojo winked at you from underneath his blindfold as you passed him.

the two of you walked in silence that seemed comfortable for you, but maki seemed clearly impatient.

“i wanted to check on you and ask if you were alright.” she broke the silence, pulling off her rain stained glasses to wipe them on the edge of her shorts. “you seemed really frazzled earlier, so if you hit your head or something we can take you to shoko, i wouldn’t want you to get seriously hurt or something.”

you were somewhat surprised by her words, but feigned indifference as you smiled reassuringly. “i’m fine, was just kinda lost in my thoughts earlier. guess you kinda just caught me off guard.” you were telling the truth, so why did it feel as if you were lying straight through your teeth?

as she swung open the girls bathroom door, she gave you an incredulous look, as if she was trying to recall the events of the day that could have made you so tense. you hoisted yourself up to sit on the sink, leaning back with a sigh of relief from finally relaxing your muscles. maki grabbed the small first aid kit, positioning herself to stand between your legs,a position that was oddly reminiscent of when you’d been on the field earlier. she caught your wrist in your hand, causing you to jump slightly as her eyes scanned your forearm, riddled with some bruises from training, but nothing that really needed cleaning.

“what could i have possibly done to catch you off guard?” her words sounded concerned, but contrasted the teasing smile playing at her lips. under the fluorescent lights, you could make out the flush tinted on her cheeks from being outside all day, as if she’d been kissed by the sun herself.

suddenly you felt very shy, twiddling with your thumbs in your lap, and willing your eyes anywhere but where they’d meet maki’s. to her, your current flustered state was an amusing contrast to how you were when fighting curses, your usual confident and strong willed demeanor had been replaced with the attitude of a bashful school girl. still, you knew you’d have to be confrontational in this moment.

“please stop teasing me, maki.” you looked her dead in the eyes, wiping the amusement from her face, and swapping it with a mixture of shock and worry.

“i’m not making fun of you.” she shook her head, her already pink dusted cheeks turning more red. “what makes you think I am?”

you chucked humourlessly. “well if the glaring at me wasn’t enough, you seem to keep trying to embarrass me. if it’s because of that time i borrowed your skirt without telling you, i really am sorry, but stop trying to make fun of me.”

“when did you borrow my skirt? i always just assume it’s the boys being idiots. you can borrow my skirt anytime you want.” you wished you could be mad at her for her nonchalance. “besides, YOU’RE the one who’s always avoiding me, panda told me i should try to be more approachable, so i thought eye contact might help.” she shrugged exasperatedly, placing her hands flat on sink, resting on either side of your thighs.

“well, you don’t exactly have the most approachable face when you’re making ‘eye contact.’ you had me thinking you were plotting my downfall in your head or something.” she stifled a laugh at your overdramatization. “it was totally intimidating.”

“oh?” her smile was dopey, one that only you would be flustered by. “does that mean i make you nervous?” her voice was hushed as she tilted her head downwards toward you, looking satisfied with herself.

“well you’re gonna make anyone nervous if you’re sending them death glares one second and offering to clean their wounds the next.”

her only response was a laugh as she buried her face in her hands. it wasn’t a mean laugh, not one directed at you, more so just her laughing at what idiots the both of you were being.

“you really thought i hated you?” her words were spaced apart by involuntary giggles, her mouth was stretched into a wide grin, almost like one from gojo. “man, i thought i was so obvious!” she turned to hoist herself next to you on the sink, leaning her head on your shoulder as her whole body shook from laughter.

you said nothing in response, just processing if this moment was real. you’d hardly seen maki smile before today, let alone laugh.

“you mean to tell me you’ve spent all this time avoiding me because you thought i hated you?” admittedly, when she repeated it back to you after her outburst of laughter, it did sound rather ridiculous. but to be fair, she should’ve considered the possibility before her sorry attempt to be more approachable.

“it’s not my fault you scare the crap out of me, i mean, how could i not be intimidated by someone so hot!” your mouth moves faster than your brain, and she lifts her head from your shoulder, making you hyper aware of both your words and your sudden proximity to her face.

shit.

your eyes are wide as saucers as you stare at her, convinced that, like a dinosaur, if you don’t move, she won’t even notice you’re there. much to your dread, she smiles yet again (seriously, today alone make up a solid 90% of the times you’d ever seen her smile.)

“you’re such a dumbass, you know?” you can hear the laughter threatening to bubble up in her voice. you wish you could come up with a clever comeback, but you just stared back, moth gaping like a fish out of water. “the reason i was asking panda for advice was because i like you. in hindsight, i suppose he’s probably not the most reliable when it comes to relationship advice.”

“all you really got out of following his advice was making a fool out of me.” you looked down at your feet. “but i guess i kind of did that myself anyways.”

“don’t beat yourself up about it. it’s cute.” she leaned forward so she was in your peripheral, willing you to look at her. “plus if you weren’t such an idiot, i’d have to keep sending you ‘death glares’, as you like to call them, to get your attention.” she chuckled, and you lifted your hand to shove her playfully, before she caught your wrist effortlessly, tugging slightly so you could feel her breath fan on your face.

once again, your mouth moved before you had time to think. “maki...can i kiss you?” you’d taken note of how her eyes darted between your eyes and your lips.

it was her turn to be bashful now. she nodded slowly, her eyes half lidded, as she dared to close the small amount of distance between the both of you. without second thought, you press your lips to hers tenderly, letting your arms loop around her neck, hands meeting between her shoulder blades. her eyelashes tickle your face as they flutter closed, with her hands balancing her, palms flat on the sink counter. the pitter pattering sound of rain from outside echoed in you ears.

the kiss is messy and awkward, but in that moment, you felt on top of the world, smiling into it without a care in the world as your fingers played with the ends of her ponytail. you break away reluctantly for air, taking in the dopey smile on her face, and the way her hands reached to grab yours to hold in her own, rubbing small circles in the back of your hand with her calloused thumb. her breathing is soft and steady, clearly still readjusting after your kiss. wordlessly, she leans forward to rest her head on your shoulder, so you can feel her breath hit the crook of your neck, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“thank god you’re such an idiot.”

[pythi-the-drawing-writer]

Let's Talk About Wind Waker Ganondorf

To preface, this isn't gonna be some professional deconstruction or educated/educational essay, this is just me ranting about a favorite video game series and favorite character in said series.

So without further ado, let's rant about, in my opinion, the best villain in the entire Legend of Zelda series as of yet. The Wind Waker incarnation of Ganondorf

Visual Design: the first thing you notice and see when this guy shows up on screen. He's pretty freaking tall as per usual although he's noticeably a lot rounder, similar body type to his classic large chunky pig form from LttP although obviously more human, he still has his topaz jewelry from OoT and as per usual the iconic Dark Red, Black, and Gold color scheme.

Although the part of this design that's the most interesting is his clothing, it's very different from every other major appearance. Every human Ganondorf wears some form of armor or what seems to be some kind of armored Gerudo clothing in the case of OoT, even his beast forms from older games are usually seen in armor. But in WW he's wearing robes, specifically a somewhat modified Shenyi, but no armor, battle gear or anything. In this case his build and clothing are a lot more similar to the King of Hyrule, a nice little piece of contrast between the two and also establishes his looks as more of an ancient king rather than the conquering tyrant off OoT and TP.

Characterization and Story: The first few mentions of him already frame him as the terrifying king of darkness and all that everyone's already familiar with, helps that it's mentioned how no one dares to fuck with the Fortress. Then how do we actually meet him for the first time? We got caught by his pet bird and with barely any acknowledgement we are tossed into the ocean like a rat being tossed out of someone's home. Already intimidating, threatening, and just leagues above you to the point he doesn't give a shit about this dumbass child who thought he was hot shit. Pretty big contrast to OoT where we see him directly glare at us when he knows we're spying and personally takes us out , still intimidating but it's acknowledgement that means he's certainly considering us.

Next interaction, you get to him with the Master Sword but he is completely unphased even when you try to slash at him cause he already knows it's useless because he's already killed the sages to make sure it wouldn't work. In this instance we certainly do get acknowledged but we're acknowledged as an idiotic fool who made a useless attempt that would never work and he would certainly have killed us right there had we not just barely escape thanks to some friends. Confident, cunning, and ruthless that's the new characterization

And now the last major interaction, in sunken Hyrule. And this is where his characterization turns sympathetic with the infamous Oceans and Winds Speeches. The Oceans speech is filled with hatred and bitterness at the world, the people, and the gods although interestingly he emphasizes how, quote, "Your gods destroyed you". The most interesting thing about the Winds speech is that the tone it carries is very reminiscent, mournful and filled with a cold solace, barely any malice or evil within this speech. And with the context of the Oceans speech the line from the previous seems more directed at himself and the Gerudo. It frames him as having nothing to lose because everything has already been lost

And then, Ganondorf's laughing scene. The King has already stolen his wish from the triforce and has used it to destroy Hyrule once and for all and yet Ganondorf is laughing although oddly his laughter also sounds a bit like he's crying, with no more Hyrule he truly has nothing left to gain anymore just how he has nothing to lose. The King wished for a future for Link and Tetra and left Ganondorf with no more future possible so he takes his swords to fight properly to make sure they don't have a future either. With the only thing to gain here being just a final bit of catharsis against the Hero and princess who have plagued him across generations. And then the final words, "the wind... Is blowing" in the moment of his death he takes that singular moment to feel the final few winds of Hyrule, the winds that he coveted before it and he are overtaken by the ocean that took everything from him and that no matter what, despite the endless miles in any direction he couldn't escape.

One last thing I'd like to point out is that in every other game Ganondorf has someone else working for him, someone trying to unseal/resurrect him, some kingdom or tribe to manipulate, some lackey to do the dirty work, but in Wind Waker it's just him alone, no extra faction no second hand bad guy, no grand organizations or anything to manipulate. Like said he has nothing, nothing to lose or use.

It's been pointed out by quite a few that the cycle of the Hero, the Goddess, and Demise is a tragedy, and no more is that apparent than in Wind Waker, our hero just an ordinary boy who's not even close to related to any other heroes, our princess a girl who had made her own way in life and was happy with it, and our Demise a broken man who's works have drowned under endless ocean

Wind Waker Ganondorf is certainly an evil man and his sympathy does not discredit that. You might not be able to relate to him but you can Understand him. Wind Waker Ganondorf is my favorite Ganondorf because of the sheer nuance that went into him, the powerful characterization and design that went into him. This man is a large part of why I personally consider Wind Waker to be the Best Legend of Zelda game.