#You're actually right not to remember it. it didn't happen. it cannot have happened because 2018 is after 2009.

[melancholic-pigeon]

@vaspider @mistresskabooms @nerdykeppie I'm the one who's being weird? Me? really? You are absolutely sure you're not the asshole in this situation? You're ABSOLUTELY SURE this was a justified response to my polite confusion?

Wow. I really misread you.

[suiana]

yandere! ex yakuza that is... surprisingly a really good househusband. he can cook, he can clean, and most importantly he absolutely freaking loves you.

yeah, he might have a whole back of tattoos and a few scars- oh! and the history of beating up people (he swears he's changed) and going to jail is there too...

but he's your househusband now!

that's right. you're the one making money while he stays home cleaning, making cute little dishes, going shopping for house essentials... what? he's comfortable with this dynamic! if you want to be independent go ahead! if you're happy he's happy!

it's actually such a change from his previous lifestyle, one where he not only led a whole gang of yakuza members into war and was like, the legendary top dog who would dominate others bla bla bla backstory stuff.

but you know, that life just isn't for him anymore. he's thrown that yakuza lifestyle away. it's just not part of who he is anymore. not after meeting you at least. you really changed him and he's grateful for that❤️

unfortunately you can take the yakuza out of the environment but the yakuza will always stay inside of him or whatever the saying is i don't fucking remember.

so your dreams of having a cute househusband are crushed because this man CANNOT for the life of him look #cute. how can you expect him to look cute?? not with that wardrobe full of suits he isn't. also he wears sunglasses indoors??? and what's with the weird stick he carries around??

anyway, did you hear? there's a sale going on! he knows how stressed you've been with work so he'll take it upon himself to cook you a delicious meal (that's definitely not laced with sleeping pills) so that you can have a peaceful night for once! that's right, you're also getting a massage and he'll even play with your hair until you fall asleep in his arms! now doesn't that sound enticing?

and when you eventually wake up late for work he'll tell you that your boss gave you a paid week off. yay! more time to spend with him! threaten? what no. he didn't threaten your boss, what nonsense are you spouting!

...

well he certainly doesn't look cute but he definitely acts cute. like when how he gets all excited over a sale or a discount happening. he acts like an old auntie sometimes, it's actually so funny.

but let's not forget that this man is still an ex yakuza. he definitely retains his old habits, like i was saying just now. and it obviously has to be ten times worse when you're out with him or something and you get hit on-

"honey no! you can't hit random people with your stick!"

"he was staring at your ass 🤬"

...so that's what the stick was for...

erm... well, now you don't know whether to be angry or to swoon over him. ah whatever! let's just go home!

because once you're home, this man will stop at nothing to make you forget all about his weirdly... violent behaviors towards others.

[parfaitblogs]

perfect night 𝜗𝜚 s. reid x reader

in which your boyfriend pays not enough attention to you when you especially need it. 

spencer reid x fem!reader. fluff. 0.5k words. established relationship. reader is (semi) drunk and wearing makeup.

a/n: wrote this in 45 minutes. you can tell. i have a super crazy weird condition where i have to write fluffy drunk!r x spencer every two weeks or else ill die. apparently. here’s a draft because i feel like i need to post but also i have nothing to post..

spencer reid who looks up when his door handle rattles at the late hour of three a.m., though concern is nowhere to be found in his body because he can hear giggles and incoherent mumbling from the other side. who pretends to be engrossed in his work when you finally stumble inside, humming of the last song you remember listening to — poker face? maybe. you're not too sure, actually. your lips wet from licking them too many times, the top of them stained from reapplying your lip liner in your phone camera while drunk — you cannot properly do it in that state. 

spencer reid who doesn't even flinch when you slur out a 'hiiii' and climb into his lap at his desk, and only wraps one arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest with an acknowledging hum. who looks over your shoulder as he continues to scribe away at the paper in front of him, while you kiss all over his neck. spencer reid who turns his attention to you when your index finger pokes into his shoulder, asking 'what's wrong, honey?'. who laughs at you when you huff that he isn't paying attention to you, before explaining that he 'needs to finish this case report'.

spencer reid who compromises that by the time you finish showering and getting ready for bed, he will be done, and then he's all yours for the rest of the night. who laughs again when you very happily get off of him, and bounce towards the bathroom — you did crash into the wall right next to the door (he was concerned until you started laughing at yourself about it). who smiles when you return smelling less like alcohol and more like that body wash he oh-so loves, in his shirt which was another can of worms that had him smiling. 

who lets you climb back into his lap — now on the couch — and finally, finally pays you some proper attention. hands bunching the fabric of his shirt around your hips, staring at your still tipsy-induced grin. who traces circles on your hip bones and asks 'did you have a good night?'. who listens intently as you tell him everything that happened — or, as much as you can remember. which wasn't a lot, but he didn't seem to mind your long pauses and 'wait let me think's cutting up your explanation. 

spencer reid who waited until you confirmed you had finished telling him everything before he kissed you — an action you were sure he had wanted to do for awhile (he always waited until you had finished talking to kiss you. he refused to cut you off). who swallowed your laughter and randomised noises and huffs time and time again, until you were falling quiet and, eventually, limp. 

and spencer reid who must have taken you to bed when you fell asleep, because you woke up under blankets and to the smell of peppermint from the diffuser across the room for your head.

your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly ♡

[cherie-doll]

*sweats nervously* How do you think the cod boys would react to s/o wanting to peg them?

#pegmen2024 if i were running for president

⨯ Price, Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Roach, Alejandro, Rudy, Phillip Graves, Makarov, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto (suggestive duh- SEX)

⨯ Price would 10/10 let you pounce from behind. I've read enough fics to know that. Honestly, it'd have to be one of those days where he's feeling a bit more relaxed. You can be a bit of a handful sometimes so why not let you take over for a bit?

⨯ Simon would be asking where the hell are these crazy ideas coming from, no way he's letting that happen, you're insane- and the scene pans to him being pegged.

⨯ Johnny would love to have you on top ( as in submissive not the position) of him tbh. Anyone remember that one video from his va?? He's agreeing to that RIGHT AWAY. Believes women should be in power and dominant, ALWAYS. He'd actually prefer it, that's how y'all have sex most of the time.

⨯ Kyle would be hanging or more like GRIPPING from his last thread. Seriously, how could someone as sweet looking as you make his breath come in fast and have sweat dripping down past his brows.

⨯ Roach is scared but attracted to that. "First time being pegged, kinda nervous". However, as elating as that was, he's making you do him almost every time after that. How can you tell him no because your libido was just high during that? It's called ovulating but he hopes it happens again soon.

⨯ Alejandro will give you that look that makes your tummy do flips and have your skin tingling and second guessing. Calling you 'vaquera' from now on as he's bucking, making it harder for you to stay on.

⨯ Rudy would crumble to his knees thanking you for this wonderful opportunity. Just imagine those big, soft eyes all clouded and hazed as his breath comes out hot as he stares up at you ARGH-

⨯ Phillip was made to be pegged. He would look so pretty throwing his head back and cursing under his breath (someone has said that before). He hates how much he loves it when you're in one of these moods and he never admits it in front of you. Seriously, he's out there thanking the moon secretly.

⨯ Makarov would take that as a threat. No way he's letting you do that, even when you try slipping out from under him. Sorry, just no, it would a critical hit to the ego he's so used to you stroking all the time.

⨯ Keegan would rather think that a challenge. This man has put you in every position possible there is no way you'd be able to match him. Unless he's like really tired like just coming home from a hard day and he needs a stress reliever but you want to go ham on him, he's telling you to calm down.

⨯ König being submissive is my #1 brainrot head thought. Like who hasn't seen that edit on tiktok?! Also, his voice here?!! Getting sucked dry too when he thinks you're done milking him. You cannot tell me his voice isn't perfect for a whimper audio because I've seen it passed around here, don't lie.

⨯ Horangi is a bit tricky to decipher. He'd either be really into that or would shift so that you're not up on him for long. The only time he's letting it slide is when he's worn out and doesn't feel like doing the job himself.

⨯ Nikto would only let that happen AFTER you've let him go first. Truly you didn't think he would just let you peg him for free?? What do you think he is....

[delphi-shield]

OLD FOLKS HOME ↪ age gap hcs

the people you love & the shit they do that reminds you of the dreaded Gap (tm). characters included: leon kennedy, chris redfield, jill valentine, claire redfield, rebecca chambers no warnings to speak of. remember kids, if you're gonna date people in their 30s and 40s, you're gonna have different cultural contexts and, most likely, different senses of humor.

Leon is eight levels of irony deep. He started doing Old Guy Shit just to mess with you, and now it's all come full circle. 

It turns out he actually likes watching the weather channel. He’s monitoring storms that are miles and miles away from you, pointing out the feeder bands like it’s some kind of sporting event. 

He's genuinely invested in Ice Road Truckers. He asks you to TiVo it for him when he's gone. You do not have TiVo. In fact, you're pretty sure no one still has TiVo. 

Or you were, until Leon once again committed to the bit and got TiVo.

Really, genuinely annoying about old movies, actors, and directors.

”What do you mean you don’t know who Robert Redford is? The Candidate? Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? C’mon. He was even in an episode of The Twilight Zone. You’ll know him when you see him.”

At least you get movie dates out of it.

Movie dates that he will pepper with trivia about the film, by the way. You don't need the commentary track. He is the commentary.

I'm so, so sorry about this. 🤪 is his favorite emoji. I know. I'm sorry.

Chris cannot fucking hear. To be honest, I think most of them have some degree of hearing loss - but Chris in particular seems to have very subjective hearing loss.

Yes, you were just having a full-fledged conversation. No, he didn’t hear you ask him to take out the trash. He didn’t forget, he just didn’t hear you. Sorry, you were standing on his right - come on, you know that’s his bad side.

Explains basic technology to you because he’s not sure if you know what it is. Then, in the same breath, crams in so many military acronyms he may as well be reciting the alphabet. Does not explain the acronyms.

Like, yeah, Chris. I know what a landline is. Dial-up internet, too. Now, what the fuck is an ORE?

Have you ever gotten ‘ok’ in response to a nude? You’re about to. Completely demoralizing, by the way.

He didn't know you wanted him to compose a poem dedicated to your beauty, okay? He tries to get better, but winds up sending shit like 'wow 👍'

Does the dad thing where he insists he's not interested in watching what's on TV and then stands with his hands on his hips in the middle of the living room, enthralled by the show.

Jill does not understand your music. She will not make an attempt to understand your music. If you see her tapping her foot to the beat, no you do not. She is not interested in expanding her musical horizons.

She only bought you tickets to that concert because she knew you would love it. She only went with you because you’re cute when you’re so into this stuff. She only bought that t-shirt because it would be a good souvenir, and eventually, a good grease rag.

Generalized distrust of social media. Do not show her a tiktok. She will ignore the video and lecture you about data safety. Jill, please. Just watch the fucking cat video.

And then she turns around and opts in to literally everything on the McDonald's app.

If there’s a rewards program, she’s in. Already sold. Didn’t even read the fine print. All that shit she was telling you about how you need to be more careful is right out the window for some free fries.

Anything for the thrill of a good deal. If she had more time on her hands, she would be couponing.

Buys in bulk. No, it doesn't matter if the two of you could not physically eat that much rice. It's cheaper to buy it like this. It's fine. It's good for you.

Gotta stock up on non-perishables, too. You gotta be prepared in case something happens. "Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it."

Claire cannot stop shopping from QVC. She's in the kitchen with David. It Takes Two with Mary and Sandra? Wrong. It actually takes three. Mary, Sandra, and Claire.

Infomercials have got her by the throat. You have so many gadgets and gizmos around your home that are just collecting dust.

Gets wine drunk and goes online shopping. Legitimately does not remember what she’s bought.

Absolutely will not let you open the packages. (“Some of this stuff could be for you, you know.” “Claire, last time it was a 10,000 count package of googly eyes.” “And I used all 10,000. You still haven’t found them all.”)

Uses every piece of technology until it’s about to fall apart. Absolutely not interested in having the latest and greatest. She’s one of those people who insists that as long as her phone can make calls and send texts, she doesn’t need a new one.

Speaking of texts. Somehow, she got it into her head that a read receipt is equivalent to a reply. She doesn't get what the problem is. You know she saw your text. Why does she have to reply?

Genuinely doesn't mean anything malicious by it - but also, if you did that to her, you would never hear the end of it.

Rebecca legitimately has facebook humor. They all have some degree of facebook humor, but she's got it the worst. 

Will blow up your notifications tagging you in shit that is just straight up not funny. I’m talking full on tagging you with “😂😂😂”

Unironically sent you a minion meme once.

It's not that she's disconnected. She teaches undergrads. She knows what’s in, even if it’s only from the periphery. It’s just that she doesn’t care. She has no interest in keeping up with trends just for the sake of it. She’s so used to being the youngest person in the room and having to keep up expectations that she just absolutely does not care anymore. She's glad she's not one of the kids anymore.

If it made her laugh it made her laugh, her enjoyment isn’t shackled by feelings of shame!!

If you have a group chat on any platform with your friends please invite her. She's just happy to be included. She'll make a discord if she has to, and she'll brag about it to her students.

Yeah, she says pupper and doggo. She does. Look at her.

[strangeracrossthestreet]

I swear Lenore's the biggest personification of Katy Perry's Hot N Cold song I've ever seen WHEEEZES

This isn't going to be very nice to Lenore, and in general the "remembering in pieces" mechanic, so just don't click read more if you don't want to see me tear into it thanks.

Like I know we all love to call Annabel a manipulator, and she is, but THIS MOMENT is kind of egregious as fuck to me.

The audacity to call her a monster (AND mad) to her face and then comfort her when she reacts badly over it

The audacity to look at her like this:

and then immediately after do this:

Why is she even saying "I don't know what I'd do with myself" if she's not supposed to remember that they were close?

But then why would she be acting like this if she DOES remember that they're close???

The worst thing is that it's so obvious how Lenore cares for the Misfits but when it comes to Annabel it feels cheap? Like it doesn't feel like there's any connection there other than "I remember I'm supposed to love you but do I actually?" rather than there being any genuine emotions involved. (Is that the point???)

WHERE is the delusion? The "Annabel must have surely had a reason—"

WHERE is the trust?

WHERE is the loyalty? <- truly my biggest gripe because Annabel is so fucking devoted I cannot let it go, I can't LMAO

WHERE is her not actually being as mad as she SHOULD be despite all of her misgivings and thus making Duke and Pluto suspicious as all hell?

Lenore has never ONCE given Annabel the benefit of the doubt and I understand that in the beginning when she knew nothing, but now? NOW? After THIS

Clear realization?

At some point I have to think that the flashbacks we're shown are not things they remember in canon unless we're explicitly shown them waking up to it because THIS

does not make sense otherwise.

Lenore WHY are you not losing your mind here? After saying that you're done with Annabel's whole game?

Go crazy go feral???

Annabel gave you the same reasoning, Lenore. Why are you tolerating this from him? You were manhandling Annabel and inches away from pulling a gun on her but now Duke has Annabel by the throat and halfway past a balcony railing and you're just TALKING?

Lenore tell me. Tell MEEEE!

Is it because Annabel treats it like a "game"? She's being playfully and giggly rather than being serious and "there's no other way" like Duke, even though she said THIS

before.

That's the worst part, really. Annabel has been VERY transparent the ENTIRE time and yet Lenore gets mad over her doing exactly what she said she'll do.

Conclusion to my rant:

What do they remember, what do they NOT remember? I don't know!

Annabel is devoted to the depths of hell even to her own detriment but is that because she remembers or because she's just Like That™?

Lenore is full of doubts and perpetual suspicions, and is willing to call her a monster to her face, but at the same time she sprouts "I don't know what I'll do without you." and jumps off balconies. Is that because she remembers or because she's just Like That™?

What is going ON

It's been a week, give or take, right? So they remember, what? 5 days worth of memories? Unless they remember much, much more than just a singular happening a night?

It feels inconsistent at best and utterly pointless at worst.

Just show us the flashbacks as an outside thing, it didn't have to be organically connected to their Nevermore storyline,,,,OR have them remember everything only when they first go Specre

[softidiotsposts]

Anyone Can Cook

as the wise tale of ratatouille states "anyone can cook... but only the fearless can be great"

{Hello! Second fic, this time pure fluff for recovery! Warnings: kitchens being messy, mentions of bland food, cooking, mentions of the french and reader is french, picky eaters, incorrect cooking terms (probs) // word count: 2.2k}

masterlist

Leah always mentioned Ratatouille around you, like a little disease that you could never shake. The little blue rat named, Remy, had become a staple in your household- even earning you a nickname based on the rat. She thought herself funny, with you being French and all- even a native Parisian, which apparently made it even more of a gag. One that you didn't enjoy very much.

You didn't get it- the film, while good in a general sense and clearly a children's film- had no idea of what a professional kitchen actually looks like and you liked to point out the serious misconceptions to Leah every time she forced you to watch it.

"Seriously, Lee- I have had enough of this film!"

You grumble when Leah once again picks Ratatouille to watch on your weekly movie night- this makes it twice in a row that she's picked this. Making you absolutely devastated that watching Notting Hill was being put on hold, once again.

You wonder whether revoking her TV rights on film night would fix the problem but then remember that Leah could do absolutely anything and you'd probably let her do it anyway. Even if it's a chef rat based torture.

Still, it's actually getting to the point that you remember practically every single line of the film and the plot never surprises you. Not when Leah insists on watching it all the time.

You don't even think she actually enjoys the film enough to watch it all the time either so it must only be to see your reaction.

"But it's so good- really lets me get the idea of what you do at work," Leah giggles and presses start and the obnoxious "French" sounding music starts to play.

You groan, "This is not what I do."

"Yeah, yeah, Remy- You do some cooking with fancy things, I know."

"Actually, I-"

You're about to correct Leah with the most attitude you ever have when she presses her lips against yours and you melt like butter in a pan. She knows that you can never resist her when she has her soft lips against yours and it works without fail each time- even when you're terribly angry.

Leah smirks and wraps an arm around your shoulders. In turn you sigh, knowing that there is no winning when Leah has her mind set on something or whenever she uses her ultimate weapon.

It's around half way through the film, when the famous line is said that you come upon the genius idea. Taking Leah through cooking something that cannot be made via a machine- a cooking lesson with the most inept chef you've met.

The words anyone can cook are true... to a certain extent- It comes down to personal opinion mostly, what does one truly classify as cooking? In theory, if making toast with butter was considered cooking then Leah was the expert but when it came to the taste department- that is where your girlfriend falters.

Before Leah, when you still lived in France, you swore up and down you could never date anyone with the taste buds of a five year old- saying that it was the ultimate deal breaker. Now here you are, dating a famous Arsenal footballer that has the diet of a primary schooler.

At first, it had come as a shock- you went to a restaurant on your first date (not your ideal place for a date but Leah insisted) and she ordered the plainest thing on the menu. You were in such shock that you double checked the menu to see if you weren't misreading because who orders chicken nuggets at a Michelin star restaurant? And why did they even serve such a dish?

It also happened to be the moment that you fell head over heels for Leah, so you learned to get over the food very quickly.

Yet, this was a moment to teach Leah a lesson in taking you seriously... or maybe at least putting a stop to rewatching Ratatouille every single week.

So you take a week to prepare everything perfectly, you plan out what you're going to teach Leah to cook, even survey your kitchen staff before opening with a little questionnaire.

Then you make sure that all knives are sharpened, pots and pans are present- even though you're the only one who uses them- and that all other additional equipment is on hand if needed.

After all the prep work, you go out to the market early on Friday morning to buy a whole chicken since Leah is most likely to actually eat it after it's cooked- you're against wasting food in any circumstance. Then circle around to the other side for fresh vegetables. Once you have acquired all that is needed, you return home perfectly on time.

It leaves you enough time to get your chef coat that you wear when working and find the spare one you had borrowed for Leah, then set out all the ingredients on the marble countertops. It looks absolutely perfect and tickles that ocd part of you brilliantly.

In hindsight, you should have given Leah a slight pre-warning as to what the two of you were doing today but the expression on her face when she walks in is priceless- so priceless, you wish you had recorded it, so you can show it to all her teammates and your co-workers.

“What’s all this?” Leah says, clearly confused as she drops her training bag by the discarded sneakers. 

You fan your hands out, presenting all the different things across the countertops with a large grin- just as large as Leah’s everytime she picks Ratatouille over any other mildly interesting film. 

“This, my love, is your cooking crash course with the best chef in London.” 

It’s true, the London’s society of restaurateurs had voted you best chef for the third year in a row and you couldn’t be happier to flex it in Leah’s face. It’s your personal victory and you like to compare it to her Euro win with England- just to watch her turn a little red as she fiercely defends it to be harder. 

You'd normally agree but maybe she won’t be so quick to correct you next time though because as soon as she’s in the white coat with you (and after you had taken a photo of her that will be posted on instagram later.) the two of you are off, cooking what you think is going to be the driest chicken ever. 

“No- not like that!” 

You’re quick to correct her, it’s automatic and you feel as though it’s a little harsh but this is payback for making you suffer through a cartoon rat cooking. 

You place a hand on top of hers and you swear she blushes just a bit but you ignore it, instead guiding her hand to correctly dismantle the chicken into its individual parts. After helping her with one side, you watch as she tries to complete the other- and to her credit, it is not a total disaster. The cuts are a little jagged and some of the chicken looks more like it’s been massacred rather than taken apart but albeit still looks edible. 

Then she looks up at you with proud eyes and you forget about everything for a moment- all the mental gymnastics- and focus on her sweet smile that warms your heart. You come a little closer and give her a kiss on the cheek, careful not to touch her since you've just been cutting chicken.

"You're doing so well, sweetheart."

Maybe it's an exaggeration but the blush appears on Leah's cheeks after it is completely worth a white lie.

"Thanks, Remy, I have the best teacher," Leah wiggles her brows at you suggestively and you roll your eyes in return.

"Well, I do have three Michelin stars to my name," You grin and Leah smiles back at you.

Then you add, "It's like having three of those golden ball thingys that you all pine after."

Leah's face drops a bit, "You mean a ballon d'or?"

Your face lights up and you nod rapidly, "Yes, exactly!"

Leah pulls a face and furrows her brows, "Okay, baby... maybe we should focus on the cooking?"

You nod and turn your attention towards the dismantled chicken in front of the two of you- You resist the urge to cringe and put all the different parts into a bowl that you then place into the fridge.

"Let's wash hands before the next part."

The two of you take turns washing your hands, Leah flicking water at you playfully when it's her turn and you frowning when she does so.

"Take this seriously, Lee- In my kitchen-"

"Our kitchen-" She corrects you.

You raise your brows in question, "Who uses it the most?"

Leah suddenly fiddles with her coat and looks anywhere but you, you scoff but a smile finds it way to your face anyway- then you wrap an arm around her waist.

"Whatever, just focus- as if it were a match!"

Leah chuckles but steps up to the cutting board where various different vegetables are laid out with one of your personal knives that you bring to work besides it.

"So what now?" Leah asks, evident confusion in her voice.

"I want you to cut the peppers julienne and the carrots paysanne."

Leah looks at you with the most confused expression you've seen to date when the French leaves your mouth and all you can do is sigh.

"Peppers thin like matchsticks and the carrots into circles, please."

"Now that, I can understand," She laughs and begins to chop the peppers, first gutting them and throwing the seeds in the bin beside her then slicing them into strips.

You're leaning your head on her shoulder and your arms are wrapped loosely around her waist as you watch what she is doing- Leah's fingers are wrapped around the wooden handle and she guides the blade down each pepper part with some kind of precision.

You smile and encourage her by giving a light squeeze that you feel she leans into-

"Focus, that knife can cut your finger off."

You hear Leah scoff, "Maybe you shouldn't distract me then?"

You don't say anything nor do you move your arms away from her waist instead focus on the way she's slicing the various peppers- somehow, Leah begins to stray from the very thin slices into thick chucks without even acknowledging it.

You smile, "Stop for a second, Lee."

Leah pauses instantly and turns her head to look at you from where you stand behind her, she raises a brow in question and you grin in return. Then pick up a slice of pepper, holding it up for the two of you to inspect.

"Too thick, darling."

You press yourself closer to her back, forcing her to face the board again- this time you place your hands on top of hers, they are slightly warmer than yours and the heat immediately spreads, then begin to slice as you had instructed.

The rest of the vegetables go smoothly and you let them rest to the side before taking the chicken out of the fridge again-

"We are going to bake the legs, use the bones to make a sauce with the peppers and boil the carrots."

You explain, pointing to all the different elements as you do so and all Leah does is nod before stepping closer to you so she can wrap her arms around your neck.

"Yes, chef Remy," Leah chuckles when you scoff.

She gives you a quick kiss that you so desperately want to deepen but she pulls away before you can. Instead, she turns to the board and looks at you with the same focus you see on the pitch.

"Alright, let's start."

The rest of the evening goes... as well as you'd imagine- the kitchen is thankfully still standing, but in a state of utter disarray. The sauce that Leah made under your guidance had boiled over after she turned the temperature up, so that it would "cook faster". You didn't even get the chance to explain that it doesn't work like that, when a blob of sauce landed on the floor.

So there was a large spillage of sauce all over the stove and countertop but that was the least of your worries since the fire alarm had rang... once... twice... and a third time when the chicken was in the oven. Turns out that Leah cannot preheat an oven to the correct temperature either- so that chicken wasn't even dry, as you'd predicted, it was just simply not even there anymore.

All the meat had burned into crispy back sludge and the bones smelt disgusting- so disgusting that Leah had to stand on the balcony as you threw it out. Stating that she would throw up if she had to do it. 

It turns out that nothing was safe from Leah's horrid cooking skill since the carrots suffered a death by over boiling- turning into mush rather than keeping their shape after the plunge in the steaming hot water of the pot.

In the end, Leah and you end up on the plush sofa with white styrofoam take out boxes in front of you and the normally tidy kitchen left in a rather untidy state, much to your dismay- but none of you had the energy to clean on an empty stomach.

You're shoveling food into your mouth when Leah picks up the remote and you dread what's coming. You see disney being opened and the pit in your stomach turns into sickness-

"So... Ratatouille?" Leah giggles and presses play, you music ringing out of the speakers. 

"Darling- No, please!"

[strawb3heart]

Love actually!

Part 1

warning: just a bit of swearing maybe, a bit short??

Summary: The one where Lando Norris lies to a girl he just met who happens to then turn into his friend or something else..

As the days went by, Lando Norris found the perfect company. Although when he arrived in the small town he wasn't looking to find someone, it turns out that sometimes things don't go as planned, but much better. "If it's not too much of an intrusion, do you plan to stay here long?"

"Why? Do you want me to leave already?" the boy said in a playful tone causing the girl to shake her head laughing "Your work sounds serious, that's why I wanted to know"he gave her a small smile while still shaking his head

"In that case, I still have a couple of weeks free" ​​the weight of the lie was increasing little by little, making the brown-haired boy reconsider whether he should tell the truth

"If so, would you like to visit the lighthouse? It's a bit far and the walk might be hard for some, but if you're up for it, Elio would like you to come with us." Y/n explained, noticeably nervous under the man's attentive gaze

"Only him?" that comment made the blonde give her a confused look "Only Elio would like me to accompany you?" After that, a nervous giggle escaped the girl's lips "I think we both know the answer to that, Max"

When their eyes met, he knew it was the perfect moment, the moment he was waintig for, so he slowly cupped the face of the girl between his hands, leaning to give her a sweet and soft kiss.

"Then, I can't disappoint both of you, I'll go with you" And, as he said, Norris was more than thrilled to go hiking with Y/n and her little one.

What he didn't knew was how that was going to end. And now, the "date" was just a completely bittersweet blur.

Perhaps he forgot what the lie would cost him or maybe he just didn't think it through. But now, it was sure that neither Y/n or Elio would want him in his life.

The date was supposed to be a fun getaway enjoying the sunset and the afternoon, but when a group of fans recognized him, everything shattered.

"You lied to me" the tone in her voice was low, showing just how broken the girl seemed. "Y/n, it wasn't like that, I just, I didn't know if you would want me near you or Elio if you had already known who am I"

"Lando, you cannot just invent a name and a fucking fairytale of how your life is" She yelled while the man seemed to be taken aback, she never acted like that before "I need to take care of Elio, guard his security, and you just proven me that you don't even care about that"

"Elio freaked out when all those people appeared, couldn't you think of my child's sake before creating this kind of lie you thought you'd pull through"

Lando Norris remembered every single word the blonde had said to him. And that memory seemed to be haunting him constantly. He would give the entire world just to go back to the day it all started, to change how he had the audacity to lie.

But deep down, she knew the girl was right. The little one started crying just as all the flashes of the cameras and the yelling started. Even when he tried to shush everyone, sensing the fear in Y/n's and Elio's eyes.

Now, Norris had only one day left in Portofino. And he knew exactly what he was going to do

"You shouldn't be here" Y/n said in a rather dry way "I'm aware that I messed this up, seriously Y/n" he started to talk "But I have to tell you the truth, all of it"

"I traveled here because of the chaotic environment, and I was just looking for a relaxing holiday. But when I met you and this little one" He said squeezing softly Elio's hand "Everithing changed, and I didn't want to drag all that chaos to our new friendship"

"I know I did the wrong thing in lying to you, and I guess I was also afraid you wouldn't want to date someone who's constantly involved in senseless dramas."

"If you can forgive me, and I really hope you can, I'll be here until noon, you know where to find me"

Saying that, Norris was just about to leave when a cold hand grabbed his arm, avoiding him to continue walking.

"You cannot just say that and leave, Norris" she said while laughing softly "I understand you, at least I think I do, but if we want to make this work, we need to avoid lies"

"Whatever you say ma'am, your wish is my command" He was smirking while the girl blushed subtly

Love was such a wonderful thing and the fact thatbthe couple had met just by accident was a simple prove that love actually is, all around.

Taglist: @justheretoreadthxxs @hadids-world @hc-dutch @hard4ndsoft @cmleitora

dunno if it was too short but I was running out of imagination w this one, sorryy 😭

requests are always open 🌷

[theyrealllesbians]

Regulus was manically pacing around his room, playing with the cord at the base of the phone.

"What do you mean there's another one?" He asked in an exasperated tone, rubbing the bridge of his nose to try and fight the annoyed headache he could feel brewing.

"Another wedding invitation has just come for you, from Emmaline Vance? Wait was she the one who was obsessed with Peter and would try to dance with him at every party for like a year?" Sirius said, getting progressively louder and more excited as he carried on.

"Yes." Regulus bit out. He really could not be bothered to go to another wedding. Why did everyone want to get married all of a sudden, it's only been a couple, wait no 7 years, since he left high school. God, how had it been 7 years already? "Surely I don't have to go. I can just RSVP back saying 'thanks, but no thanks' that'll work right?"

Regulus didn't even really understand why he was getting so many invitations. He'd had 5 wedding invites so far, 2 baby showers which he was not going to and 2 reunion dinners. Of course his own brother's wedding invitation was not included in this list of grievances. He's never dare complain about having to watch the happiest day of Sirius's life. Even just hearing him and Remus try and sort out the last few details made his heart warm in a way that he would never dare admit to.

"Come on, you have to!" Sirius exclaimed. "Everyone will want to see you. Besides all of us," 'us' being Sirius, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene and Dorcas, "are going and I refuse to spend another evening answering a million questions about you when you could just get over yourself and come!!!!"

Sirius was referring to the last high school reunion that happened 2 years ago that he had refused to go to. Apparently, Sirius spent the whole night getting asked about Regulus's whereabouts and what he was doing, if it was true that he had refused to work in the family business, whether he was gay and if so, was he single?

"Ugh," he groaned, "if I do go, and that's an if! I'll need a date. Where am I supposed to get a date on such short notice." Regulus's head was now beginning to ache as it had threatened to do so at the thought of having to sit through a wedding with someone he barely knew just to show that he wasn't alone and that he was doing well for himself.

"I don't know, do I? I mean you don't have to have a date." Sirius suggested, speaking through a mouth of some form of food.

"I do though don't I, otherwise I'll just get pitying looks the entire night. Or worse, people coming up to me trying to ask me out." He shivered at the thought.

Sirius choked a little, "That's a bit cocky don't you think?"

"No I don't think it is actually, not after I had Gideon touching my knee last month asking if I'd 'be interested in a night to remember', I cannot do that again. I just can't," he whined. He may as well have stomped his feet to go along with the toddler type tantrum he was getting close to. But Regulus did not care, he was being entirely serious when he said he could not do it again.

"Fine then, go with Barty?" Sirius suggested.

"Can't he's already going with Evan." Regulus responded, damning them both because it wouldn't be a half bad idea.

"Act as if you're in a throuple, you could pull it off." Sirius teased.

"Sirius" Regulus whined again, he needed real solutions.

"Pandora?"

"Doesn't really work now that everyone knows I'm gay." Regulus was getting tired now, why did he call his brother again? Oh right he didn't, Sirius called him because Regulus is currently on a work trip and Sirius is watering his plants and clearly snooping through his post.

"Well, I don't have any other ideas. This is why you need more friends." Sirius said matter of factly.

"To have as back up wedding guests?"

"Yes, that's what we do all the time. I don't actually think that anyone really knows who is with who. Oh, you could go with James. I don't think he was planning to go with anyone."

"Yeah, pass." He would not go with James Potter. Not for any particular reason, he just couldn't.

"Right well, I can't help you"

"Apparently so. I'm gonna go" Regulus just needed to lie down and think about what he was gonna do. He still had a month to figure it all out.

"Alright, see you soon, call me if you need anything else." Sirius said, trying to maintain his 'helpful' older brother personality that he had built.

"Yep will do, bye." Regulus hung up.

He really hated wedding season.

Just had this idea, it will be Jegulus. Kinda fake dating/ friends to lovers type deal. I'm actually pretty excited to start writing it and have quite a few ideas already.

[meaniemace]

FEAR

(as always requests are open and masterlist is pinned)

Pyeon sang-wook x GN! reader

Warnings: mentions of blood and wounds, mentions of death, a tiny kiss at the end.

Notes: thanks to my pooks @il-i-sam for helping me edit this, I wrote this at school and it was really rushed and had grammatical mistakes! You're amazing MWAH MWAH MWAH!

© The-Lemon-Boy on Tumblr

Pyeon sang-wook was always a man of few words and actions. He always believed relationships to be unimportant. Especially now.

Sometimes, he didn't want friendships either. He liked being alone, at least most of the time.

There had been times when he'd thought of getting up and joining the others during "dinner" but he was afraid. Afraid of what they saw him as. A monster, a murderer.

So even if he actually wanted a friendship (or more), he didn't have anywhere to start. Well, that's not entirely true. But again, he was afraid. Of what? He wasn't sure either.

But he knew that you'd be his starting point. Though he didn't know how long he had, since he never showed any signs of accepting your silent invitation to a friendship. You'd been there for him since he joined the group, everyone was afraid of him, made remarks about his scars.

But you didn't. You never said anything bad about him, he even heard you defend him once. You'd defended him multiple times. He just happened to have heard you once.

..

"Oh my god... I can't stand seeing his face. It looks so scary... Who knows what it's from?" The lady with the dog had said.

He'd heard her, but just as he was about to get up and leave, he heard you too.

"With all due respect. You don't know what it's from. And you shouldn't judge. You're a full grown adult woman. And yet you still make assumptions based on someone's appearance." It was what you had said to her.

He left after hearing that. A small smile formed on his face, which he forced down after realising.

..

Right now it was dinner time, he had stopped eating with everyone a while ago. He didn't mind not eating, but you did. You'd always get him a plate and find him, wherever he was.

He was sitting in the grave room, staring at the ground, when you walked in. You walked over and kneeled down in front of him, handing him his food. You had learned not to try to start a conversation, he wasn't much of a talker. You noticed.

You sat by him, leaving enough space for him to be comfortable. And started to eat.

Imagine your surprise when you heard his voice. Directed towards you. "Why don't you hate me? Like everyone else. I don't need pity."

You shook your head and moved closer. "I don't pity you. I know you can handle yourself. I just cannot stand seeing people be treated in a way they don't deserve. And you don't deserve to be seen as a scary murderer. Even if you don't think that."

He raised a brow at your words, still not looking at you. "I murdered someone. With a hammer right in front of you." He pointed out the obvious.

You turned fully towards him, placing your food down and sitting crisscross. "Most people here are scared of you because they believe the man you killed was innocent."

Now interested in where this was going, he turned his upper body to face you. "And you don't?" He questioned.

"I've lived here since I was little. I remember when he moved in, when my mum sent me to bring him a cake as a welcome gift, and when I found his door open and walked inside that room..." You hoped he'd understand; you hoped he'd seen the room, and you didn't have to explain.

And based on his reaction, he did. His eyes widened—the most obvious showcase of emotions you've ever seen from him.

"I've never run out of a room faster in my life." You chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. But he just shook his head.

He was glad someone understood him. You stood up. Stretching. "You should eat." You pointed out before going towards the door, but before you exited, you turned back. "Oh, and if you ever need anyone to talk to, it shouldn't be too hard to find me."

..

About a week passed, and he did talk to you almost every day. Even though they were just general chats, it felt good for him to be able to talk freely to someone again.

Right now, you sat there, talking about what you did before this whole ordeal.

Well, more like him hearing you talk. But he didn't mind; he loved listening to your stories.

But your talking was cut short by a terrible screech coming from the hall, accompanied by Su Yeong's screaming.

Immediately, you stood up and rushed over, seeing Mr. Han shooting at the spider like monster that was chasing the young girl. You rushed and picked her up. "Come on!"

You shouted to Mr. Han, who followed you as fast as he could in his wheelchair.

You ran down a ramp, but Mr. Han's wheelchair got stuck, and he fell off of it. You placed Su-Yeong down and told her to go into the room where you previously were with Sang-Wook.

She wanted to help Mr. Han, but you assured her that you'd help him, and she rushed off into the room. You heard her crying to Sang-Wook. Asking for his help.

You spun around on your heel and bent down, helping Mr. Han back into his wheelchair. You ushered him inside the room as well. As soon as he entered the room, the monster quickly jumped on you, stabbing one of its legs into your torso.

You screamed out in pain, but you fought back as much as you could. But the pain was unbearable. You were about to pass out, and the last thing you saw was Cha Hyun-Soo coming to your rescue, and you heard Su-Yeong screaming, everyone else gasping, and Sang-Wook calling out to you. Then it all went black.

Once you regained consciousness, you saw Yu-ri sitting next to you, patching you up.

"Oh, you're up. How are you feeling?" She asked as she finished up her work on your wound.

"Could be better. What happened?" She patted your shoulder, told you about how Hyun-Soo had killed the monster, and assured you that everyone was safe.

You let out a sigh of relief, closing your eyes for a moment before opening them again. But you were met with a different face.

Sang-wook was sitting in Yu-ri's place, and you heard the door close. He looked genuinely worried, which made you smile and sit up. With his help, you managed to rest your back on the wall behind you.

"What were you thinking, huh? You could've died." He didn't sound angry at all. You simply placed a hand on his arm and answered.

"I could have, yes. But I would've been fine with it as long as Su-Yeong and Mr. Han didn't." He groaned at your response and sat next to you on the makeshift bed. Placing his hands on either side of you.

"You might have been okay with it. But I wouldn't." You went to speak, but he hushed you. "Listen to me. Never do something that stupid again."

You smirked and leaned closer. "And why do you care?" He scowled at you slightly. And without a verbal answer, he placed his lips on yours.

You were taken aback; you didn't expect it at all. But you weren't complaining. You've been spending a lot of time together. You would be lying if you said you hadn't developed some kind of feeling for the man.

"Is that a good enough reason for me to care?" He asked. He didn't have his usual cold and emotionless demeanour this time. He looked genuinely concerned, worried, and happy at the same time.

"It is." You said, and hugged the man.

This was an outcome you wouldn't have expected at all. Not the bad kind, though.

[luimagines]

Reader confronts the boys about the events of loopy from a poisoned plant.

But everything turns out okay because reader likes them too :)

- glitter ✨

The aftermath of loopey plant? Got it!!

Masterlist

You can read the first part right here!

Content under the cut!

Four

Long day finally over with, you get ready to end it as you crawl into your bed roll.

Four was busy sleeping off the rest of the poisoned pollen and whatever antidote Legend had all but shoved down his throat. You're not sure you're willing to deal with the aftermath but the morning cannot come fast enough.

You lied. The morning came too fast.

You wake up quickly and try to figure out what to do next. You turn in your bed roll and see that Four is already awake.

He sees you before you can pretend to still be sleeping and you curse your luck. Internally, of course. Outwardly, you smile at him and sit up, trying your best to stay causal despite everything he said into your ear the day before.

"Good morning." You grin.

Four winces. "Too loud."

You flinch in return and lower your voice. "Whoops. Sorry."

"It's ok."

"How're you feeling?" You whisper and move to sit next to him. You're suddenly not all that tired. You wait on baited breath to hear his answer and if he's retained any memories from yesterday at all.

Four bite his lip and knocks on his own head gently. His own voice is quiet. "I have a headache but that's about the worst of it. I wasn't too bad yesterday, was I?"

You smile. "You slept most of it off. It wasn't so bad."

He sigh and nods in relief. "Good. I was worried I might have made you uncomfortable."

"Why would you have made me uncomfortable?" You lean forward, trying to keep your smile innocent and less shark like.

Four blushes and looks away. "I have the vague suspicion that I was speaking out loud for a good part of that but I can't seem to tell if I actually did or not."

"Oh." You tilt your head. "That's not so bad. I don't think you were."

"Really?" Four looks back at you, relief flooding his gaze. "Thank goodness."

Your grin turns sharp anyway. "So when do I meet your dad and grandpa?"

Four stills and curls his lips into his mouth. "...Come again?"

"You wanted a summer wedding, right?" You tilt your head. "I was thinking about it and I think you've got the right idea, but I've always my wedding to be outside and the summer might get too hot. So an early summer or late spring wedding might work best if we got that route."

"Oh my god." Four covers his mouth as horror begins to step in.

You giggle and kiss his cheek. "Think about it, yeah? Let me know what you think. I'm not opposed."

".....thanks..."

Wind

Warrior carried Wind back to camp in record time.

Wild returned with Legend, Hyrule and Four and sicked them all onto the groaning and pained boy in front of you.

You tried to stay closer but word spread fast and soon everyone had a hand in helping Wind get back on his feet. Even if that included distracting you in the process.

The day ended before you knew it and everyone was settling in for the night since Wind was now stable and more coherent than he was hour before.

You crept close to the boy and laid nearby, just in case Wind tried calling out to you again. Feeling a little brave, you grabbed onto his hand and let your eyes close shut.

Wind tightened his grip on your hand, calling you name weakly into the air. Your eyes were open in an instant.

"I'm here, Wind." You answer him, crawling a little closer to the boy. you sit up, hoping that the angle would allow him to see you. "I'm here. I never left."

He groans and turns in your direction. "Really? I thought you wouldn't come."

"No." You don't let your voice waver. "I was always there. You just didn't see me."

Wind doesn't seem too convinced but he's also exhausted, no doubt from the treatment everyone had painstakingly shoved down his throat. "I'm tired."

"I know." You smile softly. "It's late. You should sleep."

"What happened?" He asks you instead. "I don't remember what happened after the plant. It was pretty."

"Pretty poisonous." You grit. "Don't go near that thing again. It hurt you really bad."

"Ok." He doesn't fight you on this. "Is that why everything hurts right now?"

"Kinda, yeah." You tell him, because it would be mean to lie. "And everyone freaked out when you were poisoned, so the guys might have been a bit rougher on you than they should have been. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive them."

"They owe me."

You laugh. "Sure, buddy. Sure they do."

"Stay?"

"Of course. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Hyrule

You managed to get Hyrule to the group camp with less damage than you thought would be needed.

Hyrule wasn't helpful in the slightest, but you're thankful to the shadow that has been helping you thus far.

He comes to his senses a few hours later, after you've filled the others in the situation. The Traveler groans loudly and rolls over. "My stomach hurts."

You don't have it in you to feel sorry for him. "Probably because you literally ate the dirt." You shake your head. "Let me get you something to drink; maybe that'll help."

"Thank you." He looks your way but doesn't move from his spot on his bed roll.

You get him some water and mix in some white power Twilight said would help him with any stomach problems. He had a bit of humor to his voice but you're willing to bet that was just because he was holding back laughing at your rendition of the earlier events.

You were a bit dramatic about it but Hyrule doesn't need to know that.

You come back and give it to him with little fanfare and sit nearby. "Here."

"Thanks." He starts to sip it closely. "Why does my everything hurt?"

You smile a little, amused that your little turn of phrases were making their way through the group. "You were literally dragged all the way back here. Not dignifying, but I didn't have many options."

He hums and continues to slowly drink the water. "....That would explain why it feels like I fell down a mountain."

You see the shadow tease Hyrule's hair in the distance. It's subtle but Hyrule visibly relaxes. "What damage did I cause?"

"None." You shake your head again and move to sit closer to him. You can at least pretend that the shadow is you, just so no one asks questions. "Unless you count damage to my psyche from the strange things that came out of your mouth."

"Oh god, don't tell me I confessed." He whines and drowns the last of the glass to avoid eye contact.

".....what?"

"I said it, didn't I? I told you I loved you. Crap. I'm sorry-"

"No." You stop him before he can continue with that train of thought. "...But you did now."

Hyrule freezes.

You're also left staring at him.

The shadow acts quickly and pulls your head down so that your lips touch Hyrule's head. You pull back quickly with a bright blush.

"We'll talk later." You steal the glass away and scurry as fast as you can to busy yourself with something unimportant.

Hyrule will be fine. Right? Right.

Time

You were absolutely correct.

Twilight and Sky had found you and had tease you relentlessly once they managed to pry you away from Time. The Old Man didn't seem to want to let you go.

It would have been a little more humorous if he hadn't looked on the verge of tears at the thought of you leaving him.

You stayed with him, because anything else would have sent the poor man into a panic.

It took a total of two days for the effects of the pollen to calm down and for Time to be restored to his quote unquote, former glory.

Luckily for him, he didn't seem to remember most of it. Only that he kept looking at you in a way that had your chest clenching and your breathing coming out in short bursts of pure emotion.

It was maddening. ...And the boys weren't helping you in the slightest.

You had to clear the air at the first chance you got. You didn't want to continue this strange dance you've found yourself in with the Old Man.

You pulled him aside and were ready to interrogate him when your words died on your tongue. There he went again, looking at you with the most tender and adoring look you had ever seen on a man, let alone him. "...Link. What is it?"

You can't bring yourself to be accusatory. Something about the flower changed him. He's never been this vulnerable on this journey. What had he gone through?

Time raises a hand and runs the back of it on your cheek. "...I thought I lost you."

"Never." You grab his hand, holding it close. "You could never lose me."

"I found myself powerless." He takes in a shaky breath. "Tell me. What changed between us? What did I do?"

"N-nothing." You gulp, feeling your legs go a little weak at the sheer power he carries in his voice. "You called me a flower... and then wouldn't let me go. It was innocent."

Time doesn't seem convinced. But he doesn't have enough in his memory banks to dispute this. "Very well."

"Link?" You hold his hand a little tighter. "....It was the most romantic things anyone has ever said to me. I... should thank you."

"I hardly doubt something said in the midst of confusion and loss of cognitive function would be considered romantic." Time glares at the ground. "I could do much better now that I'm sober."

Your breath hitches in your throat and you decide to get a little brave and reckless. You lean closer and nearly poke your nose with his. "Prove it."

Something ignites in him. A wicked grin blooms on his face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." You whisper. "Because I would have said the same thing about you."

Wild

You ended up needing to change your shirt.

Wild was apologizing profusely and on the verge of tears afterwards.

Legend was kind enough to help you with the mess and steal one of the Captain's shirts for you to wear while Four and Sky helped Wild get himself situated and settled.

You sighed and fixed the way the clothes clung to you. It highlighted just how skinny Warrior was but you didn't want to think about that when you were more worried about Wild and his current state.

You rushed back quickly. Wild was sniffling and whining like a kicked puppy while Hyrule brushed his hand through the Champion's hair, trying to calm the other boy down.

"How is he?" You whispered as you got closer.

Hyrule looked up at you and cringed. "I'm sure you can guess. He might have ingested some of whatever it was that made him this way. He says his stomach hurts a lot despite not eating anything. I'm inclined to believe him."

You sighed and copied the movements the resident healer performed on your friend. You lean in and kiss Wild's forehead. "I'm sorry, buddy. You'll feel better soon."

Wild looked up at you and swallowed harshly. "Promise?"

"I promise." You smile tensely. You look to Hyrule for confirmation and he looks just as lost as you feel. You repeat yourself anyway. "I promise, Link."

He groans against and curls up tighter. "I'm sorry...'bout your shirt."

"Soap and water exist." You wince, trying to keep your voice light. It was your favorite shirt, but you don't want Wild to feel worse. "Legend is taking care of it."

"Oh... ok."

"You've been very nice and good to me." You whisper. "I don't think I have the capacity to be mad at you. Much less for this. I like you too much, Wild."

"I like you too." He tries to look up at you. "...I didn't like that plant."

"I don't like it either." You agree, if only to make conversation. "Let's not get close to it again, yeah?"

Wild nods and closes his eyes, reveling in the way your hands feel in his hair. "I'm never cutting my hair."

You giggle slightly. "Good. I'd miss it."

He smiles.

Twilight

It had taken many hands to get Twilight to behave enough for him to be treated.

You didn't think he would be as possessive as he was. He growled in ways you didn't think was possible and nearly tried to bite Time.

It was... fascinating, if a little scary.

You watched him and tried to calm him down with the others. Eventually he fell asleep.

Only to wake up less than hour later.

You wanted to yell and scream. He had just calmed down. What mess do you have to deal with now?

"Ow my head..." He sits up in his bed roll and hold his head in his hands. You step closer to him and poke his shoulder. "How're you feeling Rancher?"

"Like I got kicked in the head." He mutters under his breath. "What happened?"

"You got poisoned." You smile softly, gathering that it was more or less safe to be next to him now. "And then hugged me. And smelled my hair. And I think you kissed it."

Twilight had gone completely still in the time that you had begun talking. You noticed but decided to keep going if only to save yourself from blushing at the reminder of his not-quite-kiss.

"You also tried to punch Warrior in the face, bite Time and wrestle Wild." You shrug. "Sounds normal if you ask me."

"I won't." He rubs his forehead. "...Did I do anything else? ....To you?" He adds hesitantly.

You feel just as hesitate but honestly? He wasn't all that bad, if a little too honest. You shake your head. ""No. You were well behaved."

"Thank Ordana."

"I like you too by the way." You blurt and lean closer. "And you don't have to be scared to talk to me, ok? I like talking to you too, Link."

You kiss his cheek, if only because it's fair- implies your traitorous brain. You don't see Twilight short circuit, but you do see Warrior and four give Twilight some thumbs up from their corner of the camp.

"Get better soon, ok Darlin'?" You copy his subtle drawl and watch in gremlin delight at the way he completely flushes red.

"YeAh." He clears his throat, unable to meet your eyes. "I will. I will."

"Good."

Warrior

The loud curse that slips past your lips was enough to get the group to look over to where you were.

Legend and Twilight naturally started laughing at the sight of Warrior face first in the dirt before you called out for help. Wild and Sky responded quickly, helping drag the unconscious young man to the middle of the camp where it was safe.

You instantly started explaining what you say and how he reacted, giving your own ideas about what might have happened without actually being there to witness it.

Time and Four got to making a spot to put his body where he would be comfortable until he slept it off.

You hovered around like an anxious hummingbird. You had all this energy and no where to spend it. Feeling your plight, Hyrule and Wind took it upon themselves to keep you occupied before you started to mother hen the Captain while he was unconscious and unable to defend himself against it.

Thankfully, it didn't take that long for Warrior to wake up- complaining quite loudly that he'd swear off drinking for the rest of his life.

You had the sudden suspicion that it wasn't the first time he had woken up such a manner- even though you knew that there was nothing alcoholic in the vicinity. Still, you decided to commend him for the attempt. "Good. We'd hate to deal with you hung over as it is."

He groaned and rolled over in his bed roll.

No one bothered to correct him in his incorrect assumption that he had been drinking with the boys.

Time had snorted at the claim and at his reaction but there was a subtle wince to his face that you couldn't help catching. Was Time familiar with the feeling as well?

You shake your head and make your way next to Warrior. "Hey."

"Hi." He grumbled, clearly not happy with his current predicament.

"What do you remember?"

Warrior tenses up before he can stop himself. He clearly remembers something but he doesn't to tell you, less you confirm it for him.

You smirk. "Do you remember the kiss?"

He shoots up. "What?!"

Given that you're not entirely sure what going through his head, you're willing to make a bet and let his own mind fill in the blanks for you. Besides, fireside cuddles sounds nice- but if he had something else in mind you don't think you're inclined to turn down that offer either.

You giggle and kiss his nose to tease him further. "There wasn't none but you mentioned it. If you ever want to follow through with what you told, just let me know."

Warrior looked horrified.

"Let me know." You repeat yourself to get through to him. "Ok?"

His voice is small and disbelieving but he nods slowly. "...ok."

Legend

It took a while for Legend to cooperate enough for you to bring him back to camp and get him checked up on. He wouldn't stop going on and on about how you were one of nicest people he's ever met and that he never wanted to leave you and the thought of leaving you made him sad-

Honestly, you had to tune him out for the most part. If you continued to listen to him talking and rambling you would have probably started crying. You never would have guessed that Legend was incredibly sentimental underneath it all.

You had to leave him to the care of the other boys while you went to collect yourself off beyond the forest line.

With time, when you no longer felt all mushy and soft for the boy had to grow up way too fast just to survive, you made your way back to the camp where Legend was looking properly hung over.

He groaned and maybe vomited a little given the looks Wild and Four were giving him as Time cleaned his face. You're a little ashamed that you more or less ran away from him but you doubt he would have wanted you to see him like that anyway. Right?

Eventually, you gather up the courage to get close to Legend and sit next to him where he would actually notice you. He sees you and rubs his face. "I was told you brought me back."

"Yeah." You admit quietly. "I found you first."

"I already told everyone to stay away from that stupid flower."

You pale slightly. In your attempt to rid yourself of the embarrassment, you had completely forgotten about the plant that got Legend into this mess to begin with. "Oh. Good."

Legend nods and rubs his head a bit. Warrior steps in to give the Vet a glass of water. He drinks is greedily.

"Do you still want to braid my hair?"

Legend chokes.

You bite your lip. "I wouldn't mind it."

He looks at you with a scarlet face and with wide, almost scared eyes. "Oh my god, what did I tell you?"

"I lot of things," that you don't think you have the strength to go into right now. "But it's really not that bad."

Legend smiles, but it's not like he believes you.

You'll just have to prove it to him.

Sky

After you successfully managed to drag Sky throughout the unmarked trail back to the camp, you started barking out order to the boys to help him. They rushed to put their hands to work.

Hyrule first went about healing any injuries he may (read: absolutely) have obtained.

Four and Warrior went about making a tonic to help rid the pollen slash poison out of his system while you went to clean yourself off and pretend everything Sky said to you didn't actually happen.

When you returned feeling better about yourself and the current mess, you found that the boys had managed to corral the chaos of the camp as well. Sky was stable and dinner was already over the fire. It would be ready in a matter of minutes.

Luckily, Sky didn't stay asleep for long and soon it was as if nothing had ever happened.

But you decided that you still needed to get some answer out of the boy.

The following morning, after everyone's morning routines were done and over with, you found yourself guiding Sky away from everyone else just to see how much of yesterday he actually remembered.

He seemed unable to meet your eyes.

"Good morning." You bump your hip against him. He nearly falls over but catches himself. Sky's blushing. "Good morning."

"Sleep alright?"

"As good as I could given the pollen from that weird flower." Sky scratches the back of his neck.

"Oh perfect, you brought it up first. I was going to ask you about that."

Sky blushes harder. "Yeeaaah? What about it?"

"What do you remember? Do you remember what you told me?" You tilt your head, not bothering to acknowledge how awkward he no doubt feels. You feel a little vindicated since he made you drag his dead weight all the way back to camp on your own.

Sky looks away.

That's all the answer you need.

"Did you mean it? Truly?" Hope enters your voice before you can stop it. Sky catches it because of course he does.

"Yes. I did." He mutters. "I also recall that you said... you said that I was pretty too."

"You are!" You kiss his cheek, taking your shot. "Ok?"

"More than ok." Sky takes your hand softly, lacing your fingers together. "....Do you really think I'm the good child?"

"....you're one of the best ones here."

"I broke a chandelier on purpose to get an item."

"....my statement still stands, honey. But I'll remember that."

[cloversnstrawberries]

"nestling" platonic!yandere!jareth & teen!gn!reader [oneshot] ! !

masterlist !

description; Beth couldn't have known any better-- she's a kid, it wasn't her fault she wished her older brother to the Goblin King, because as far as she knew, it was just a story. As far as you'd known, it was a story-- come to find out, it very much is not, and you're scrambling to try and take her place and run the Labyrinth to get little Richie back safe and sound.

Unbeknownst to you, you've fallen right into the Goblin King's trap. Hook, like, and sinker.

additional notes; hello yes.. i'm back... been having a bit of mental health trouble lately, so why not write for one of my comfort movies :] PLEEEAAASE request jareth i love this devious fae man and there is a sore lack of platonic jareth & reader...

*jareth refers to reader as 'nestling' in a few spots, because owl. haha. compared to him you probably are actually considered a baby. like a newborn. dudes OLD by human standards. also reader is a babysitter and babysitting beth & richie. i didn't know where else to mention this.

warnings; possessive behavior, jareth being cryptic, jareth is non-human therefore does not abide by human culture/morals nor understand it fully, terror, slight horror (the goblins...), kidnapping, talks of transformation presumably against reader's will (human -> fae), panic, and i cannot for the life of me remember anything else :( please let me know if I forgot something major!!

w/c; 3.7k

She didn't mean it, that much you know.

For God's sake, she couldn't have meant it-- she's four! She just entered kindergarten, can hardly remember the ABC's. If anything, it's your fault this happened in the first place. Even tangentially so, you're still willing to take full responsibility.

It was a storybook, that's all you thought it was. Something about it drew you in, into that quaint little antique shop and right to the book section of it. Instinctively, like you were in a trance-- your eyes scanned the shelf, immediately landing on a book with a plain, textless red spine.

Once it was in your hands, it was like the owner came out of nowhere. The way her hands shook should've set you off, as she told you, in no uncertain terms-- "Hah-- I didn't think we had that anymore. It's been here for years."

Then, she'd patted you on the back, and said she could tell you really wanted it. She gave it to you for free-- but something about her demeanor told you there was a far less benevolent intention lying beneath the act of kindness.

The ways her eyes shifted from the book, to you, then to the book-- she threw a glance to the wall behind her, and as you followed her eyes, you saw her looking at an old cuckoo clock hanging on the wall.

It must've been some kind of movie prop or novelty item, because-- while you weren't very good at roman numerals, which it was numbered in for some godforsaken reason; you could still count the number of markers-- of which, there were 13.

Her panic was almost palpable, as she all but shoved you out of the shop-- saying that she forgot to do something important, closing the door right behind you and switching the sign from 'open' to 'closed'.

And as you stood on the sidewalk outside of the little shop, you don't know how you didn't question it further. A part of you wanted to believed you dreamt it-- but the book bound in red textile, embossed with bright gold letters and a black border that made up its front cover, said otherwise.

For a while, it just sat on your desk. The next weekend, you popped by the shop again-- the woman was working, and she apologized for how she acted. She didn't explain herself, though.

Maybe the strange cuckoo-clock had been sold, and in its stead was a near-identical looking one, but this one only had 12 markers. Or maybe you'd imagined that part, so flustered that your eyes did a goof.

A few months after-- you finally picked the book up, the weirdness and anxiety surrounding the way it came into your possession had mostly worn off, and you found yourself enjoying the story.

Enjoying it so much, that you took it with you as you babysat the Hamilton kids, Beth and Richie. 4 and 5 1/2 years old, respectively-- they were good kids, but they were still kids.

Still got into silly fights, and this one had been over who got to choose the movie you said you'd watch with them tonight. Beth wanted to watch ET, while Richie wanted to watch the Carebears movie.

They wouldn't listen you, wouldn't compromise-- you tried saying you'd watch both films tonight, but then they started arguing on which movie would be first. Both said they'd fall asleep before the second one would start-- which, you'll give some props for admitting that, but it still caused problems.

You tried a few more alternatives, until Beth got fed-up, shoved Richie, and shrieked "I wish the Goblin King would come and take you away," as she stormed up the stairs, and when she got to the top-- her face red and scrunched, as she finished with

"Right now, Richie!"

The whole thing lasted maybe a minute at most, and you'd stayed glued to the couch for the duration of it. A strange, sinking sort of... fear, settled in your gut.

Anything said by a 4 year old should not have that amount of finality, shouldn't have been enough to make the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

It was a story, but that didn't make you any less afraid. Maybe it's because it's dark out, and the Hamilton's live just on the cusp of the town-- it was a good 5 minute walk to the nearest neighbor-- that set your teeth on edge,

Whatever it was that spooked you so bad, it made you stand. For a moment, you just stood there, looking between the stairs and Richie, who was standing still. The little shove Beth gave him wasn't enough to send him toppling,

But he had this... vacant sort of look about him, and he didn't answer you when you asked if he was okay. Torn between two options, something prickled in the back of your mind. That you shouldn't be here right now, shouldn't be near Richie--

"I'm... gonna go check on your sister, you stay right here, okay?" You kept your eyes on him, not moving an inch-- hoping for a response. Whether it'd be an 'okay' or a 'stay here' was fine by you,

But you didn't get that. He didn't say anything, didn't move at all. His face looked pallid, and a thin sheen of sweat covered his face-- even though he'd just been complaining about how cold he was.

"Ooookaaay..." You drawled, concern lacing through your tone as you tore yourself away from the strange sight, heading up the stairs-- you heard a window open, halfway through the trek.

Beth screamed, and you know damn well she couldn't have opened that window on her own. It sounded like it came from her bedroom, and the only window there was your standard up-and-down sliding sort of window,

The lock was on, and even if it wasn't, there wasn't nearly enough muscle on her little frame to exert the force necessary to open that window.

It sent you into a panic, tearing up the rest of the stairs and down the hall-- screaming her name, you put your foot down on top of a stuffed toy you could've sworn had been downstairs.

You heard shuffling, manic little giggles around you. Paying no mind to that, you picked yourself off the ground and hurdled toward the room. The door was open, but it was the kind that swung out.

The hallway felt narrower than usual, like the house itself was trying to choke you out. A feeling of wrongness invading every sense of yours-- little hands grasped at your ankles, pulling at the ends of your sleep-pants, little sharp nails digging into the flesh of your leg as the panic reached a fever pitch--

"You aren't supposed to be here," One raspy voice said, barely a whisper. Another one, distinctly different, expressed a similar sentiment "This doesn't involve you, go away."

Upon reaching the door, it slammed shut. Right before that, you heard a voice that was so achingly familiar, yet so new. Like you'd heard in a dream or something--

A click of the tongue, almost sounding chastising-- a woosh of air, and the door had slammed closed. In your panic, you looked down-- there were.. were little creatures surrounding you, and terror made your throat close.

Lifting up one leg, you shook one off-- tried doing the same to the other leg, only to find that the one on there was adamant on hanging on. Its terrible little fingernails shredded at your sleep pants, leaving you no choice but to grab it by the scruff and toss it down the hall.

"Beth!" You screamed, looking back down the hall-- it was distorted now, like something out of your nightmares. Beth's room was getting further and further away, and you ran to it, only for the goblins-- and yes, you're quite sure they were goblins-- to grasp at you again, slowing you down.

Despite the perceived distance, you could still hear a male voice, wispy and otherworldly-- clear as day, through the door, as he said "Persistent little thing, aren't you?"

And-- and you don't know how to explain it, but in an instant you knew it was the Goblin King. That was the only... logical explanation, though this situation was anything but logical. If you went to a trusted adult about this, you'd probably get set up for a psych evaluation ASAP.

Chest heaving, no other option-- you scrambled your brain for any way out of this. The door was getting further away, and you felt your legs give and your knees bash into the unforgiving, hardwood floor,

"Please! Please, Please just-- Please! I'll do anything, just-- I-- uh, Jareth! Jareth, you have to-- uh, just stop for a sec--!" He was a fae, right? The Goblin King-- how much the rules you'd read about in other fantasy stories applied to him, you have no idea; but whatever it was, your desperate plea seemed to catch his fancy.

In an instant, you felt a million times lighter. No more scratching, clawing hands at your ankles, no more rasping, childish taunts; the hallway was normal again, and you sat back on your haunches-- the door to Beth's room was wide open, and you sat right in the doorway.

Inside was a crying Beth, and oh, how badly you wished to reach your hand out and comfort her-- but now wasn't the time. Not as your gaze trailed up, taking in the extravagant, otherworldly detail of the man's outfit.

You could've sworn that the whole place was doused in glitter, and maybe some of it got in your eye or something-- eyes watering, blinking rapidly. Or maybe you were about to cry right alongside Beth,

Knowing full-well what it meant for the Goblin King to be here, suddenly it clicked why Richie hadn't responded to you. Why he looked so far away, like he was in a trance.

His smile was sharp, but not cruel-- teasing, not mocking. Like he was endeared to you, as the heels of his fancy, knee-high boots clicked against the wood of Beth's room. Getting closer to you, slowly-- like he was approaching a spooked cat.

"So you're the one that found my story, hm? Odd, that you weren't the one to wish the little boy away." He made no comment on any debt you may owe him for saying please, or any debt he may owe you for knowing his true name.

It was all too quick, one moment he was near the window on the far side of the room-- and the next, he stood right before you, head tilted like an inquisitive bird.

An inquisitive owl, which, if memory serves you right-- the story said he could transform into at will. His smile widened to a lopsided grin, as he addressed you with far too much amusement given the current situation. "Well? Are you going to sit there all day, or will you stand and let me have a look at you?"

Scrambling up, you nearly pitched right into him. He wasn't tall per-se, but his presence was suffocating nonetheless. In a last-minute save, you stumbled back.

The wind was knocking right out of your lungs-- what little you had, as you held your breath in an attempt not to hyperventilate so hard you pass out-- as your back collided with the wall beside you.

The lightswitch dug right into your spine, but you paid it no mind. More pressing matters, and all-- the more pressing matters being how the Goblin King reached out, and you expected him to roughly grab your jaw and flip your head around, have a look at you, he'd said.

instead, it landed innocently on the top of your head. Shaking like a leaf, you look at him with wide, confused eyes. He still had his head tilted, smile gone-- overtaken by a thoughtful sort of expression.

You said nothing, despite the millions of questions running through your head at the moment. Let him mull over whatever he had in his head--

Of course, when he opened his mouth to speak, is when you decided it was a fantastic time to speak. A stupid decision, to cut him off-- that's definitely rude, isn't it? Fae don't like rude people.

"If-- I wanna run. For Ric-- for, uh, the little boy." You caught yourself, not knowing how far the 'names have power' thing went with the Goblin King in particular.

It left you absolutely shocked and bewildered, when in lieu of a stinging reprimand or maybe a clipped scold about cutting in-- the Goblin King simply smiled again. Taking no issue with your (albeit accidental, but still) rudeness.

Straightening his neck, he replied with "Ah, little Richie?" The Fae seemed to take immense pleasure in the way you went stock-still at that little revelation. You settled for a simple nod, throat closing up so bad that you doubt you could speak coherently by then.

The Goblin King hummed, pretending to think it over-- and with an overly cheerful tone and demeanor, he pulled his hand from your head, cryptically proclaiming "That won't be necessary, nestling."

You took a double take at the... term of endearment(?), but did your best to brush past it. You looked at Beth, who was shaking just as bad as you-- no, worse. You want to pull her into a tight hug and tell her it wasn't her fault, that she couldn't have known.

"Wha-- She's four, man!" You don't know what got into you, fear turning to foolish boldness in an instant. Goblin King straightened his posture a bit, a bit of surprise painting his features. "You-- You can't make her run the Labyrinth, she'll die!"

Placing a hand over his heart-- or where it'd be on a human, you're not very educated on Fae anatomy after all-- in a dramatic show of faux-offense, he acted like you'd offended him.

Like he had any right to be offended, if that was actually the case.

"Is that what you think of me?" Narrowing your eyes, squaring your shoulders as you grasped desperately at the last shreds of your sudden, unexplainable bravery; you silently questioned him.

He dropped his hand with a little smile, and looked over at Beth-- she squeaked, and you twitched. A knee-jerk reaction, to take one step forward, maybe to try and stop the Goblin King if he tried anything.

If he noticed it, he didn't say anything about it. Still looking at Beth, he sighed, voice eerie in a way you couldn't figure out as he said "That was never the plan, making her run my Labyrinth. I don't make a point of answering these sorts of calls, most times. Children don't have developed enough brains to realize what they're really doing."

"...Oh." Your mouth went bone dry, arms hanging limply by your side. Fingers clenching and unclenching, not knowing what to do with yourself. "You say that like it's a surprise, that I'm not cruel." Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned to face you.

You couldn't have predicted how he'd look at you next. Angry? Maybe, or perhaps frustrated-- a sly sort of amusement, a smirk on his face. But that look on his face isn't any of those,

He looks sad. Wholly, and humanly sad, at the idea that you think a non-human would have such sound morals when it comes to this topic. But that didn't make sense, what...

"Then why are you here?" Like a switch got flipped, any and all traces of sadness was off of his face. Replaced a frightening sort of glee. It made your skin crawl, the way he looked so human, but there was something so... wrong with it. A baser part of your brain screaming at you to not trust him, that he wasn't human, no matter how similar he appears.

He made a non-committal swing of his hand, like he was trying to grasp at the air for a response-- "Why else? I've grown lonely in my immortality, and find myself needing an heir."

Oh no.

Oh hell no.

Like a Phoenix, the dying embers of your seemingly short-lived bravery have come back full force-- burning hot as you took a few daring steps forward, then a few more,

Until you were right in front of the Goblin King, right within grabbing distance. You could sock him in the stomach, if you didn't know any better-- instead, you jabbed your finger in his face, nose scrunched with anger.

"You are not taking Richie to be your heir! You must have hundreds of kids wished away every year--" He raised an eyebrow, making you sputter for a moment before regaining your footing-- "okay, fine-- maybe, maybe not hundreds, but you're probably not at a lost for them--" His eyebrow went down, as he patiently waited for you to end your tirade.

"But out of all of them, you are not taking Richie-- or Beth, not on my watch-- if you try, i'll go right to the kitchen, grab the salt shaker, and smash it against your head!"

So many little slips, if the other folklore was true/included the Goblin King, you're well and truly done for, in every measure of the sentiment.

Instead of being angry at your outburst, he just laughs. He laughs, and he laughs, and he laughs-- your face goes hot with embarrassment, with frustration, as you resist the urge to shake him.

"Stop laughing--!" You're so busy with him, that you don't realize the floor begins to give out from beneath you. How the hardwood floor is changing to multi-colored, uneven stone, how you can't hear Beth's little sniffles, and don't bother to notice the change in lighting until it was too late.

Once he stops laughing, is when you realize it. Taking a step back, your foot catches on the edge of a particularly high-set stone in the floor, sending you toppling over and right onto your butt.

The Goblin King was gone from your sight-- and before you could panic, you felt hand grab under your arms and heave you upright. It takes all of your strength not to let your legs buckle and say hello to the floor again.

"What makes you think I'd want a young child? I find them to be far too much work for how I live, so easy for them to wander off and get caught up with the Fireys." He turned you around, brushing imaginary dust off of your well-loved t-shirt you used to sleep in. He hummed something under his breath, a lilting sort of tune that-- against all odds, put you to ease.

Swaying in place, the Goblin King stopped dusting you off to hold you firmly by the sides of your arms. Your head lolled to the side, adrenaline crash hitting you like an absolute truck.

"No, I think you'll do quite nicely. You've indebted yourself, after all." Your brows furrowed "But that's... huh?" Your brain was sluggish, moving at a snails pace as your eyelids begun feeling like a ton of bricks.

The Goblin King didn't mock you for your totally complete and understandable question, just smiled against, took one hand off your arm-- and gently tapped the end of your nose with his fingertip.

It reminded you of your parents, in a way. In made your stomach flip-- what about them? What about Beth and Richie, will they remember this--

Will anyone remember you, or will the Goblin King place some spell to make it seem like you were never there in the first place.

Oblivious-- or maybe just uncaring-- of your impending hysteria, the Goblin King continued as usual "You asked for my help. It's not very binding, but it does mean something."

"...Jareth." You clumsily said, and he had the gall to not act surprised at all-- as he drug out "Yeees? Does my little nestling need something?" Your face scrunched in confusion, but his smile only widened further.

"Jareth, take me home." You venture to say. For what it's worth, it does have a little bit of an effect on him. His eyes go wide for a moment, jaw dropping open-- for a second, you thought you'd found a hail mary.

Only for him to throw his head back and laugh, sounding like chiming bells now. Inhuman, as he pressed you against him-- arms wrapped around you, it takes a little to put two and two together.

He's hugging you.

"My, you're a quick learner, aren't you?" One hand pressed on the back of your skull, guiding your face to the crook of his neck. As a compromise, you hook your chin over his shoulder-- staring wide-eyed at the large, glass-less(?) windows behind him. The scenery below.

The entirely inhuman, fantastical, and frankly terrifying scenery below-- outside, creatures of all shapes and sizes walk the street; from how high up you are, you can't make out anything distinct with what their saying. It all sounds like meaningless noise.

Your ears are ringing, you think.

"But... But it's your true name, isn't it?" Your voice was so small, so thin and fragile, that you hardly realized it was your own. Your arms continued to hang limply by your sides, but Jareth didn't mind as he continued to hold you close.

"Yes, it is."

he doesn't elaborate, so you push a little more "Why isn't it--" Floundering for anything else to say, your mouth opens and closes a few times, before Jareth seems to catch onto what you mean and answer the unsaid question.

"Why am I not bending to your will?" He sounded way too amused in contrast to what he was actually saying in the moment, "I'm not a lesser fae, things sort and bend and break around me. Maybe you could've gotten an average court member with that-- perhaps even a duke, but certainly not a king."

Breath caught in your throat, your eyes started watering-- you'll blame it on the weird, otherworldly glitter-- as Jareth continued to hold you, trying to... comfort you, maybe, with what he meant to be reassuring words.

In the end, it felt more like a prison sentence-- as he cooed oh-so-softly "It's alright, nestling. I'll keep you here, all safe and sound until all that pesky humanity is gone. I wouldn't want my guards to think you're a runner when you visit the town, now do I?"

[hunieday]

Momo - La'Stiara Rabbit Chat translation

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Momo: Heyyy Yuki-san heyyy

Yuki: I’m here

Momo: Oh. here comes Yuki!!!!! 🫣🫣  what are you doing right now?

Yuki: here comes yuki

Yuki: Harvesting pea sprouts

Momo: Now that’s the best lololololol 

Momo: You’re the handsomest for doing that in the middle of the night. Well no, it’s too cute. But also still too handsome

Yuki: Who did you go drinking with today?

Momo: How did you know I was drinking!?!? I went with Gakuuu!!!

Yuki: Gaku-kun, huh. I can also tell you just finished drinking and you’re in a taxi

Momo: Whaaat!? Are you watching me from somewhere!?! Could this dandy driver actually be Yuki in disguise!?!?

Yuki: That's hilarious

Yuki: You always send me a rabbichat out of nowhere like this after drinking, pretty amusing how easy it is to tell because you're always in high spirits.

Momo: I guess my darling can see right through me…🥹

Momo: Whenever I'm drinking, I always think things like “Yuki would like this flavor" or "I'm sure Yuki would laugh a lot if I told him this story" so… 

Momo: When I'm having drinks without you I just really wanna chat with you afterwards...🥹

Yuki: You say such romantic things

Momo: I feel that sense of comfort you get from being back home… 

Yuki: Would you like some peaches? You've always liked them

Momo: That's right, you always remember the things I liked when I was younger...

Yuki: Here, I made plenty of stewed dishes, so take some with you. I also packed some rice crackers and candies. Don't overwork yourself.

Momo: That's how it is right? you always made me take home more food than I can eat by myself...

Momo: But you sound like Old Man Yuki right now lololololol your image of a family house is way too high!? lolol

Yuki: I just watched a TV drama about stuff like that

Yuki: Were you and Gaku-kun shooting for "La’Stiara" at the same time?

Momo: No, we just happened to bump into each other at the studio after the shoot! 

Momo: Gaku didn't have any plans after that, so I invited him for a drink 

Momo: He said “I'm so happy to go drinking with you for the first time in a while, Momo-san!" he looked so happyy~~

Yuki: How cute

Momo: Isn’t hee~~!! 😳 I almost gave him the gem I had on me 😳

Yuki: That's funny. Though Gaku-kun doesn't seem that interested in jewelry

Momo: that’s right lolol but he has a dignified face so I’m looking forward to seeing the gem + Gaku combo picture released to the public 🥺

Momo: By the way Yuki! We were talking about instant tempura soba. Do you add the tempura before or after you pour the hot water!?!?

Yuki: Now that sounds like a drinking party question

Momo: We were talking about buying tempura soba from the convenience store as a late-night snack and it somehow turned into a conversation topic lol

Yuki: Momo, you put it in first then add the hot water, right?

Momo: Yeah!! I ate it that way first because I thought I’d get a bigger portion that way but I grew to love it 🥹 It soaks up all the flavor and it's delicious!!!

Yuki: Yeah, I get it. The juiciness is delicious

Momo: Right!?!? As expected of you, Darling!

Yuki: What about Gaku-kun?

Momo: "I like to taste both the crispy tempura and the smooth texture of soba, so I add it afterward."

Yuki: I get it. Enjoying different textures is important

Momo: Huh!!!! But you just said you understood my way! Are you a post-water tempura person? 🥹

Yuki: I eat them separately.

Momo: lololololol a surprise third option!!!!

Yuki: I thought it might be interesting.

Momo: Yuki, you're always making conversations more lively during drinking parties, you’re so handsome,,,!!!!!!!

Yuki: I know

Momo:

Momo: Can I take you to this place I took Gaku to next time? It's pretty lively though

Yuki: Of course. Was it a good place?

Momo: Actually it was opened by the manager of an izakaya I used to work at back in the day!!!

Momo: Do you remember it? The place with the really delicious rolled omelets!

Yuki: Isn’t that the manager who used to pack you meal boxes to take home?

Momo: Yes, yes!! Isn't that a huge coincidence!!! He even recognized me! 

Momo:  He said he buys our CDs every time

Yuki: I remember him. He used to hand out flyers for our concerts to the customers at the izakaya.

Yuki: He was a really nice guy. Now that I'm looking back, we were really blessed with the people around us.

Momo: I really think so too. And because of that I wanted to chat with you even more, Yuki!

Yuki: Let's take a bunch of our juniors there to repay the favor. I'm sure he'll be happy to see how successful of a senior you've become.

Momo: Yeah...! If I told my past self that I'd become the Absolute Kings with you he'd be super surprised.

Yuki: If I told my past self that I learned to appreciate people and the environment surrounding me right now he'd be surprised too.

Momo: But Yuki, you've always been super, super kind, you know!? you wouldn't have accepted my unreasonable request otherwise

Yuki: Momo

Yuki: Let's talk about this in detail tomorrow. We've been reminiscing about old times a lot lately, but it feels like a waste to only rabbichat about them

Momo: Yuki...

Yuki: And

Yuki: sleepy

Momo: lololol you must be sleepy right!!! Thanks for chatting with me 😆😆

Momo: See you tomorrow, Yuki!!

Yuki:

[revalition]

OCT 8 - VOLITION

Hold yourself together. Keep your Morale up.

I had to resize this image 3 times to get tumblr to take it... it is also past midnight here, but the day change doesn't really count if I haven't gone to sleep yet, so :)

Volition. My love. my favourite skill. please enjoy. I also drew the volitions of some of my mutuals!! because I love you guys and your volitions very much (holding them gently in my hands). hopefully you guys dont mind and I didn't mess them up too badly

anyway. uhm. I'm much too tired to write anything super coherent right now. please write tags for me or write comments so I can see them when I wake up haha

and! there is a LOT under the cut. like, way more than any of the other days. it is giant. be very careful expanding it <3

ok here goes... I'm typing shorter ones out and screenshotting big ones

--------

VOLITION - Stop, you're only making it worse for him -- you never help with *anything*.

- Rare volition being rude to other skills!!! it only happens under pressure, too

KIM KITSURAGI - "What else could she have done? Lie? She saw there was no way to lie and get away with it."

DRAMA - You would have caught it.

VOLITION - Like hell you would have -- remember?

- you tell him volition!!

SUGGESTION - What is *wrong* with you? Why did you ask to be connected to her? Who *does* that?! Act professional now.

VOLITION - *You* told him to do that stupid thing...

- rare volition callout!!

YOU - Can I trust that guy?

VOLITION - A little. They're all still of limited use, interpreting things to the best of their ability. Maybe they add flair or something? I wouldn't know. I don't add flair.

- this is one of my favs haha. you don't need flair, love, it's ok

VOLITION - Ouch.... That's like twenty points of pride-damage right there, buddy.

- This is after Sylvie turns you down to get coffee. (and you do suffer a point of morale damage haha). him calling you buddy is so funny. it's always mildly condescending too!

- here's the other two:

VOLITION - You're no titan of Volition, buddy. He's got you in a fork. Sit down or leave.

VOLITION - You're a little more moralist now, buddy. A little more *normal*. Even if you didn't want to be.

YOU - "Cryptid extravaganza? I like the sound of that."

KIM KITSURAGI - "And I *don't*. Just one."

VOLITION - Or he'll be *disappointed* in you.

ENCYCLOPEDIA - Whooh... tough choice there.

- volition knows it's truly the most terrible thing haha

VOLITION - An enormous expenditure of willpower to build up strategic semen reserves? You had me at *willpower*. Let's do it!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Life is all about pleasure... why deny it?!

- these two are hilarious. poor echem. but also volition, honey, nono...

- the game implies consequences when increasing your skills too high but you don't see it with all of them. Volition's one you don't really see much downside to, but you can just. Imagine it here. Him pressuring you to do something stupid, just for the sake of it being difficult. Surely that's not healthy??

- I do think Volition has a lot of issues. I'll get into some more of them later though!!

- but just... Harry wanting to do something that *is* a test of willpower and Volition is completely uninterested. But the semen retention thing is okay? sigh

- and then after that, he's just like. nope. we're not going to not swear :)

- he's so stupid sometimes. also it's absolutely hilarious to me that you can pick the "..." option over and over and Volition will match it forever. You simply cannot out-will your own willpower. It's just not possible.

- I actually live for Volition being the singular voice of reason. Look at the others all chiming in!!

- this one too, Volition being the only one trying to stop it! Why are they all piling on?? Composure not you too >:(

- I had excessively high Volition *and* Pain Threshold in my first run and the two of them!!! PT gets very self destructive at high levels, so seeing the relentless push and pull of PT and Volition was so good.

- This line from the description -> "Cool for: Sane People, Well-Adjusted Cops, The Non-Suicidal" yes it's cool for them, sure, but it's incredibly!!! important for NOT these people! Because Volition doesn't make you sane, or well-adjusted, or non-suicidal. He's just the one voice of reason in there trying to veer you away from making irreversibly bad decisions.

VOLITION - She tries to hide it, but some *great doubt* is spreading within her. There is a crown slowly cracking above her head.

- I need to talk about this line. Just. Volition acknowledging the existence of Joyce's own Volition (which he refers to as a crown!!!) cracking! the *great doubt* spreading and cracking apart the crown! hghh I live for any and every depiction of volition cracking apart when morale gets low and this is absolutely one of them.

AUTHORITY - Weren't you warned to *not* go down this path?! And yet you *still* go and do it...

VOLITION - Just because you *can* doesn't mean you *have to* say everything that comes to mind. Back out before the situation escalates.

- these two's dynamic is very funny to me. I love when they work together (but I also love when they fight! fight fight fight!)

VOLITION - Don't ask, don't look, don't do *anything* here. Just go away. Get back to work.

- "Just go away" ugh my guy is fighting for his life here to get you away from the cigarette and alcohol counter in the Frittte

- hghhk Volition. this is a Challenging passive check too (the second one, to hang up). *one* chance, that's all he has in him. It's not possible at all in the dream, no matter how high your Volition stat is. It's just not something he can do. But here, with the distance of the payphone between you and possibly real consequences, he's able to manage one chance.

- (also did anyone see the post about the payphone conversation possibly being entroponetic crosstalk?? I could talk about that for way too long. but I am getting sidetracked)

YOU - "Yeah, I'm done talking about her. I don't want to think about her anymore."

RHETORIC - What a strange choice of words...

EMPATHY - Caustic, overflowing with negativity.

VOLITION - That can't be healthy. What's happening here? Why do you keep coming back to this window?

YOU - Nothing, everything's okay.

VOLITION - But it isn't. And you shouldn't come back to this anymore. This should be the last time. Stop talking about that damn window, please.

- this one too

VOLITION - Throw it away. Please.

- I need to talk about this. Volition dutifully directs you away from all the reminders of Dora. He does everything in his power to stop the final dream from happening.

- And I get it. He's trying to protect Harry. Because Harry isn't mentally stable right now and it could endanger the case. but... at least, when the final dream happens Kim is (usually) there when you wake up. And if all went well, you get to go back to your precinct, and take Kim with you. And Harry has support.

- If the dream doesn't happen... it will happen eventually. There are a million reminders in Martinaise in the span of a week, imagine what Jamrock is like. It's an inevitability. And then you're taking the chance that the dream happens at a time when Harry is much worse off. Maybe he's alone. Maybe Kim left, maybe he was let go from the force.

- The dream could happen at a better time too, of course. we probably all imagine harry picking up the pieces after martinaise and his life finally taking a turn for the better. and I imagine this is what Volition had in mind, by delaying the dream. Maybe it can be delayed for a long time, long enough.

- but it's a huge risk and I just... don't know if he's making the right choice here. keeping important information about Harry's past, which has shaped his relationships and life considerably, in a box so it can't hurt him

- yeah. anyway...

YOU - What if I don't want to ask questions?

REACTION SPEED - You're a cop, Harry. It is *unnatural* of you not to want to ask questions.

VOLITION - You don't have to. No one is forcing you to be a cop.

- Volition??? sometimes this guy makes no sense, he's so funny. I really think he occasionally just does something for the sake of being defiant

EGG HEAD - "Please. Please?" The young man smiles at you widely, bright and innocent as the summer sun.

VOLITION - His pleaful smile is disarming, but you can withstand it's glorious assault, if you just put your heart into it.

- why? why?? don't turn down egg head ever!

VOLITION - Alright, come on now. If *he* hasn't said anything about your lack of pants, no one will. You're only hurting yourself by not wearing them...

- this one is so funny. I love that he lets you know he *knows* you're trying to get a reaction and you're not going to get one!!

- yes volition, stop himmm

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - How very astute of you! This renders it ineffectual. You should look for a *whole* cigarette. Or better yet -- an entire pack! Strike that, a CARTON! Make sure they're all healthy and able-bodied, then smoke them all.

VOLITION - Or -- you could *not* do that. No one is making you.

- volition as usual trying to stop you from picking up bad habits... I just love the way he talks. he's not even telling you not to, just voicing his disapproval in a rather passive way

INTERFACING - Wow, the gods of mass production have made this alcohol container *laughably* easy to open. A child could have done it.

VOLITION - I don't know about this...

- he still doesn't outright tell you not to drink it... :(((

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Fine. We're not worried... you'll crawl back to this bottle soon enough. We'll give you another chance. Booze *always* gives you *another* chance.

SUGGESTION - Yes, it's *merciful* that way. It's your friend. Come back to it, we're all rooting for you to.

VOLITION - Not *all* of us...

- he's the only one rooting for you to not drink it!! he can't stop you. but he is supporting you in the only way he's able.

VOLITION - No. You *can* stop. Just wade through the hell. Month after month. Year after year -- you against the nothingness. It's possible, because *time* is possible.

- He can encourage you!!

YOU - "I *will* stop drinking."

MEASUREHEAD - "THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. THE GAME OF *SHAH-MAT* YOU PLAY AGAINST THE GUL'S TRICKS IS UNWINNABLE. THE DAYS, THE WEEKS, THE MONTHS WILL WEAR YOU OUT. THE OCCIDENTAL HAPLOGROUP IS INCAPABLE OF LONG TERM LUCID THOUGHT."

VOLITION - NO.

- volition!!! <3 that's all he needs to say.

HORRIFIC NECKTIE - This is it. I'm gonna hit the ground and burn away now. Most of the people in this yard are gonna die -- if not all. Probably you too. It's a COMPLETE DISASTER.

PAIN THRESHOLD - Get ready for a world of pain, man.

VOLITION - No. Not a disaster. Weave this into the story of you. Walk out of its *ruins*. Save those who still can be saved -- *I'm* on your side.

ESPRIT DE CORPS - And the lieutenant too. And the men behind your back, drawing their weapons... you can live. You can get out of this.

- hnngh. this one is among my favourites too. my amazing 1 int run also had 1 motorics. at this point I had failed the rhetoric check to save ruby, failed the logic check to save lizzie, and now failed the spirit bomb throw too and was about ready to cry. Volition's quiet reassurance was very important to me in that moment. EdC too, and I did save Kim.

HAND/EYE COORDINATION - Your hand trembles as you scratch at your cheek... oh no, that's not how a grown man shaves!

YOU - Leave it for now.

HAND/EYE COORDINATION - Thank god, I would have cut your throat.

VOLITION - The centipede is exaggerating -- people don't actually cut their own throats when they're shaving. At least not accidentally.

- centipede!!! it's such a funny nickname. alternatively

HAND/EYE COORDINATION - Your hand trembles as you scratch at your cheek... oh no, that's not how a grown man shaves!

YOU - This isn't sharp enough. Scrape harder.

HAND/EYE COORDINATION - Stop, for crying out loud! You're gonna cut your own throat.

VOLITION - There's no way to salvage this.

- these guys are hilarious. why is volition even watching this mess? 'there's no way to salvage this.' ??? I'm not even sure if he's referring to you or H/E... he must be so tired.

ENDURANCE - You feel like you're about to faint and fall off the swing. Your hands get clammy and the air tastes sour to breathe.

HALF LIGHT - Oh god, Harry! Oh god, Harry, what did you do...?!

VOLITION - No! Just nope. Say no to this, Harry.

- more of this!! >:( of volition trying to just avoid anything painful. wake up man.

LOGIC - Everything is so pretty and red -- you and Leo look like brothers as you glance around with similar childlike wonder.

VOLITION - Keep it together, no need to show your wonder.

- why? :( it's not hurting anyone. legendary difficulty passive for volition, high levels of volition are sometimes questionable. I love collecting all these instances of volition making weird suggestions. it's like when people point out really weird things Kim does, that you don't really notice as weird because he does it so calmly and confidently.

VOLITION - Huh... no, Mr. Conclusion. You're always kind of limited in your analytical abilities. That's not *her* fault. But still...

- volition: you're kind of limited in your analytical abilities... meanwhile logic and viscalc and ency calling you stupid and brain damaged lol. vol is so gentle about it!!

- then again...

VOLITION - ...no? He's not going to show up? I'm sorry, your lie detection isn't working. It's not her doing, he's just totally inept. It looks like you're also an idiot. But that's not her fault.

- lol.

RHETORIC - This is good. Clear the air first -- between you two -- then move on to questions.

VOLITION - No, it's not good. It's the opposite of that. This will let her dictate the terms of your...

RHETORIC - Shush. I can't hear what she's saying.

- no. don't ever cut off or shush volition ever again

- >:(

YOU - No-no-no-no...

INLAND EMPIRE - Yes, yes, yes, yes.

VOLITION - No-no, we're not starting with that. Not now. Not this time. This thought is over.

- volitionnnn... ily. my own volition also cuts off dangerous lines of thought for me. I think he's got to be constantly vigilant, in order to be so good at it. must be exhausting :(

YOU - "Can't promise that. I might attack him again." [Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant groans, but doesn't say anything.

VOLITION - That's right, you *should* do it again! It's the *last* thing he'll be expecting.

- uhm. not sure that's a good idea!!

VOLITION - You're too weak to say 'no' now. Waking up is the worst part. Maybe somewhere down the line you could decline...

- referring to declining the speed. all volition fails are very sad

VOLITION - Yes, look at yourself. What do you see?

YOU - Just a sorry stack of shit...

VOLITION - Yeah, didn't even know they stack shit *that* sorry.

- beautiful, rare volition scolding you!!!! after you disregard his advice and don't apologize to kim after the church fail. he's on your side, but he also knows he needs to tell you that this wasn't okay.

VOLITION - First the investigation, now this... how many more things do you have to fuck up?

- this one too! same scenario. this is a difficulty 16 (Godly) check...

- yes this again. it just needs to be in here. the volition panic attack. if this volition passive doesn't fire, you take no volition damage. it's completely self-inflicted :(((

PAYPHONE - The headset lands in the cradle with a clank. There it sits -- still warm from your hand. You have no idea what just happened.

(heal 2 endurance and 2 volition)

- if you hang up the phone before dora picks up!

VOLITION - He subdues the feeling. Dusts himself off and moves on. So should you. There will be other chances.

(heal 2 volition)

- if Kim misses getting a picture of the phasmid

HORRIFIC NECKTIE - The necktie is guiding you through this. It's your spirit animal, both your nemesis and friend. Suddenly a feeling of ease brushes through you -- you're fine again.

(heal 2 volition and 1 endurance)

AUTHORITY - That... was the most honourable thing anyone has ever done, Harry.

(heal all volition)

- very special incidences of healing more than 1 volition at once!! the fact that healing/damaging morale is just directly called heal/damage volition in the variable naming is. yeah. I think about it constantly. does it hurt him? I think it does. and he never says anything about it (unlike endurance!) he just bears with it quietly.

VOLITION - In honour of your shit, lieutenant-yefreitor. Which you kept *together* in the face of total, unrelenting terror. Day after day. Second by second.

INLAND EMPIRE - DETECTIVE

ESPRIT DE CORPS - ARRIVING

AUTHORITY - ON THE SCENE

- obviously this one has to be in here. funnily enough, in my second playthrough I had 2 PSY but everyone had been bumped up enough that they all fired except authority... I ended up throwing a point into authority and retrying the dialogue so it could be complete haha

VOLITION - What? I thought you had your shit together! This is nearing a complete meltdown! Stop it!

- volitionnn :( if you don't stop you have a panic attack, so I guess he's only trying to help

- this is too funny. volition honey, you absolutely do add flair too

YOU - Oh, you mean Cuno?

VOLITION - Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!

- yup, absolutely no flair. Super. Tip-top!

VOLITION - These guys are compromised. She's got them singing along to her tune. The little bleeps and bloops you trust for info -- you can't trust them anymore.

- it would be a crime to not include the bleeps and bloops in here! why does he call them that?? haha

- rare instance of volition not being able to stop the disaster!

INLAND EMPIRE - Your surroundings are undisturbed. While you slept, you were alone. Now that you're awake -- you're still alone.

HALF LIGHT - Get the fuck out of here. Fuck this place, fuck this world, fuck this life, fuck this body -- just fucking go.

SAVOIR FAIRE - The sheets are stained red. Your blood's been running again. Keep it together. Just get out of here and finish this fucking thing.

VOLITION - Harry... I know there's not much to say -- but if nothing else, just remember that you've made it this far. And it's just a bit farther now. Let's finish this.

- this is just. it's awful, if you have the final dream all alone. but at least you have volition with you

DICK MULLEN AND THE MISTAKEN IDENTITY - Dick Mullen was made to crack skulls and solve cases. It's who he is. He could no more stop being a detective than a tiger could cease to be a predator in the night.

VOLITION - You're no tiger, though, Harry. You're a man. It's your curse to have to choose.

- I like this one.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - That sugary black rum stain on the counter makes you teary-eyed with joy. It's almost touching how syrupy and sticky it is. How long have you been up already?

YOU - Not now.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Oh *excuse me*, do you have something better to do than lust for sweet syrupy rum and lemonade? With a twist of lemon? Maybe lime? Maybe who cares, just rum?

VOLITION - Yes, you do have something better to do. Stop drooling over that stupid rum stain and go. Before it's too late.

- this is a challenging (difficulty 12) check! it's very difficult to resist the sticky rum stain I guess

YOU - Give up.

LOGIC - There we go. Your mind is a relaxed muscle. It's so nice and easy to give up, isn't it? On the downside -- you have no idea what you were supposed to do now. I could have *debriefed* you.

VOLITION - Blissful idiot -- say something. You've stood there for too long.

- blissful idiot

VOLITION - Don't be an idiot and say it. In this day and age, of all times. It won't end well.

- once again, volition pushing you away from the bi-curious thing. :( he just wants to keep you safe, but it comes at a cost.

- you can't just wrap harry in bubblewrap, volition. he'll never grow

- volition absolutely saving the day here. do NOT say it harry! authority's advice is SO hit or miss

VOLITION - It's time to leave it be. You're about to make a child cry. Are you proud of yourself?

YOU - Damn right I am! Proud as the Lion of Serber.

VOLITION - Excuse me, I'm not sure I heard that properly...

- volition ily. he has to deal with so much.

VOLITION - Should we? He's *nice*. I don't like *nice*.

- this is so funny. he's very suspicious.

VOLITION - Look at it, detective. And be ashamed. Until you make it right by *legally purchasing* that raincoat, I'll make sure you feel guilty every time you see it.

- YES YES conscience volition!!

YOU - Close the carabiner.

SLEEPING DOCKWORKER - The sleeping dockworker has little to say about your actions. He remains silent.

VOLITION - You're not 100% clear what you did here was *right*, but to hell with it...

- only sometimes!!

VOLITION - I can't restrain this one. The need to *cop* is too strong. You just need to ask it.

- why are you trying to restrain copping??? this guy, sometimes. he's so stupid (affectionate)

VOLITION - That's it. I'm calling it. Kim is beyond compromised.

- uhm. volition completely overcompensating with the compromised skills is quite funny. once drama wakes up, he does it too

VOLITION - See? It's oddly moderate. Probably compromised.

- oddly moderate now means compromised??

- this is it. this is volition's only comment on this disastrous authority fail. he makes no attempt to stop it!!

VOLITION - Being Cuno's pig has a steadying effect on your hand. Go with the flow, man...

- volition's so silly sometimes

DAMAGED LEDGER - You feel that thing in the back of your head? That little voice, that quiet scream? You already felt this was a bad idea, but especially right now it's even worse. Try as you might, you can't read it now.

VOLITION - You've got *business* to deal with first. Talk to the Union boss first, at least... I can't stop you for long, but there's just enough of an excuse now.

- Volition fighting for his life to stop you from reading the letter :,(

VOLITION - If it's possible, then by pure willpower alone. You are going to have to become... a psycholocomotor.

- that is *not* a real word but we love you anyway vol

LOGIC - Is that how it is now? We should just try all good things *twice* and then give up? By that logic...

VOLITION - Not you too...

- he's all alone out here :(

VOLITION - Someone's been a very busy boy. Good on you...

- thank you...?

VOLITION - *Very* off. Just let her go. Listen to me for once...

- for once?? :((( but if you try...

VOLITION - I can't help you. I am totally useless. Everything I've said is lies. I want the exact same bad things you want. To stand here, like a pillar of salt, saying...

- this is probably one of the saddest lines. all the skills falling apart in the dream is awful, but volition might be the worst. it's also very important that volition *does* want the exact same thing you want. He wants to drink and smoke and think of dora and die. And he chooses to resist it anyways. To be the only thing standing in your way. But it's to the point where it's all he knows. He knows that he has to resist the things he wants, and will occasionally take it too far. Keeping Harry (and himself) from things that will make them happy. In the setting of the game, Volition keeps things together and on track. But once Harry is back in his normal life, it will become very much a double edged sword I think. Luckily(?) it will self balance a bit, where if Volition prevents Harry from being happy then he'll lose morale, weakening volition, and then vol won't prevent harry as much and it'll balance out. hopefully.

VOLITION - Despair creeps into you, getting fat on your weakness. Whatever noble intentions you once had as a police officer -- it's eating them all up now.

VOLITION - Nothing you can say would make you feel any better now...

- 😭 I hate this, I hate the volition death. the endurance one is really painful too, but this one's painful in a different way. Volition isn't getting back up from this. the awful newspaper clipping saying you go to live under a bridge... that's what happens when you let volition die?? if any of the other skills (except endurance) drop to 0 you can just raise them back up, but vollll.... ugh.

VOLITION - Listen... It's okay to take a few minutes to yourself. Sit down and have a breather.

ENDURANCE - You need to rest. Your body is aching. Getting in here has taken something out of you. Have a seat.

- our two health pool boys encouraging you to take care of yourself <3

YOU - "Kim, can *you* see it?!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I can see it."

VOLITION - Four simple words -- thank god. If he can see, then you're not insane.

- this one is obviously very important.

YOU - "I've finally gone insane..." (Put your head in your hands.)

[...]

VOLITION - My god... maybe you *are*.

- if Kim and Cuno aren't there, and your Volition is really low, you get this very sad fail. :(

VOLITION - True, you ought not love ruins and hell -- and the fading scent of apricots.

- I like this one.

WASHERWOMAN - "I *can* wash it for you," she says after looking the jacket over, "but it's going to take about a half an hour. Think you can stay put for that long?"

VOLITION - Hell yeah!

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - No, we must run around ceaselessly. It would be torture to stay put.

- I really really love him.

YOU - "By the way, I'm going to sing karaoke here."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Absolutely out of the question."

VOLITION - You wait and see, cafeteria manager!

- volition will not be told no!!

VOLITION - No one can STOP you from finding the phasmid.

PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT - WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU?!?! Are you going to CRY now, son?

VOLITION - You heard the coach! This is weakness. It cannot go on much longer, or you will LOSE.

- these guys are great. coach!

YOU - Right. Activate Denial Mode.

VOLITION - You're not really an automaton, you do know that?

- oh, thank you for the insight volition

- even your most willful, imaginative skills know this scope creep was insurmountable...

DRAMA - But we *are* awake, sire! She has been forthcoming -- with sordid details women usually conceal! Most *shocking* details of the sexual kind! We are a bulwark, un-breached...

VOLITION - You've been breached, bulwark. You've been breached, like, a thousand times now!

- nooo poor drama (volition is right)

- Volition trying to reassure you after the Tribunal is very important.

- SO TRUE.

DRAMA - This may have been a *grave* mistake, sire.

VOLITION - Maybe. Maybe not. Mercy is rarely a *complete* mistake.

- I really adore this quote.

I think I'm going to leave it here. I haven't included some quotes that I put in other posts already but I might add them in later to have a comprehensive Volition post... But I've spent like 4 hours on this already so I'm giving it a rest for now :)

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Could you tell us about grumpy cat Leona in the nonhuman au?

Rubs hands together.

The big grumpy meow-meow that doesn't meow.

Has toe beans and the fur on his body is the same color as his ears and tail.

Ruggie was a little worried at first about you two getting together cuz of possible extra work or you replacing him for stuff, meaning less money to earn but, nah. You keep Leona from overworking him and actually help Ruggie with a lot of things. He is pleased.

It doesn't happen often, but he may roar in his sleep, and this is a real lion roar. He can sleep through it but you and everyone else in the dorm sure as hell can’t. He gets pissy if you wake him up to stop or go to sleep somewhere else. He will also lick you in his sleep.

It doesn't matter how small you are, he will straight up lay on you and smother you when he feels like it.

He won't tell you but man he loves your praise. So, keep praising his looks, strength, and intelligence. You are probably the only thing that makes him want to put the effort into showing off. It becomes mandatory for you to come to his Spelldrive matches, please, do it for the good of the school.

He’s actually really good about not nicking you with his claws.

Loves to bite, nibble, and scrape his fangs against your skin.

When he first brings you home the first thing his brother blurts out is “Why are they small?” His wife of course scolds him and tells him “You can't just ask humans why they're small!”

Scents you as soon as you are out of the shower, he will also stare right at the person you're talking to as he rubs his chin against the top of your head, scenting you in public.

You will groom his main for him.

He refuses to call your petting...well petting. He keeps calling it grooming. He will be demanding that you do it though. Kind of like those cats that yell and head bonk you until you do it, except he will straight up lay his whole body on you if you try ignoring it. I hope you like being smothered by big meaty lion-man tits.

Leona has lots of good traits but let's all remember that, in canon, Leona in plain terms: is an arrogant and domineering man who’s as prideful as he is lazy. He tends not to waste his energy on those he deems inferior to him and is only willing to cooperate with others if it benefits him in some way. In the same vein, he puts little to no effort into activities that don’t interest him, like when it comes to his studies.

Now don’t get me wrong, he's also the type to see it as unfair and demeaning to treat others differently based on their inherent status, and wants to compete with others on a level playing field. Still, we've seen he isn’t above using underhanded tactics to ensure success. The guy is willing to do whatever it takes to prove himself as a worthy leader, the dominant lion, even if it means playing dirty.

Also stated on the wiki “Leona has stated he is intimidated by the women of the Sunset Savanna because they are much physically stronger and more strong-willed than the men, including himself. Ruggie corroborates this statement. This follows the biology of many savanna animals, such as lions and hyenas, wherein the females are hunters and typically dominant in nature.” and “It's only at Night Raven College, where he's treated as an equal, that Leona attempts to seek the dominion he cannot achieve back home.” 

Now add the extra dominance stuff that goes on with regular lions and add THAT onto a now even more beast-like Leona with his personality and with him actively looking to achieve that dominance plus you being a weak magicless human in a world of big strong beasts. You are not gonna be the one leading this relationship, even if you identify as a girl, cuz you are not a Sunset Savanna one.

Of course, Leona respects you though, he wouldn't have taken you as his mate if he didn't but…he’s a dick.

Now, your role? He expects certain to go like in the wild. You and him are your own pride with Ruggie and Jack being unofficial members. You know how Ruggie brings him food? That’s your task now. “Male lions defend the pride’s territory while females do most of the hunting.” Doesn't matter if you're a dude and…Ha, no he doesn't expect you to actually hunt. But he’s gonna want you to bring him food. (he gives you the money for it and then some, get yourself something nice) Expect his head on your lap, a pleased grin on his face as you hand-feed him.

If you tell him he went too far he’ll back off but…really likes comparing you to him, but in ways that show that he’s bigger and stronger. Teases you about being a weak little herbivore and how easy it would be to eat you.

His tongue has a bit of a rough texture but not nearly as rough as a regular lion's so you don't have to worry about the meat being scraped from your bones by it when he intensely grooms you.

(Talking about his junk and lion mating facts below)

Another thing he shares with his animal counterpart is penile spines, also known as barbs, luckily for you, lion beastmen evolved enough to wear they aren't the painful kind and are more like small nubs. Though they do have a similar reaction of stimulation ovulation and form a “genital lock”, basically it has a cat version of a knot. So, quickies aren't gonna be as quick and you will be subjected to mandatory after-sex cuddles.

As for the whole “going into heat” thing, female lions are only receptive to mating for a brief period, usually lasting three to four days, and they will go at it every 20-30 minutes for as long as the heat lasts. Humans don't go into heat, but the cooch havers do ovulate, which beastmen can in fact smell and will take this as you going into heat and he, unless told no, will react accordingly. Though…even with how he is it would be funny if it’s one of the times instincts kick in cuz…the thing is female lions can be pretty damn aggressive about it so imagine it’s the first time and he’s just laying there expectantly and looking annoyed, wondering why you haven't hopped on top of him and ravaged him yet.

Though another thing with lions is males will mount another male to excerpt dominance so imagine talking too much shit and you end up getting pinned down and humped by a pissed-off Leona.

[soobibabe]

MOA bitchFUL era 6 members - 6 active

yeonjun: GUYS SOMEONE GOT FUCKING PRoPOSED TO INFRONT OF ME yeonjun changed group's name to "moa bitchFUL era"

taehyun: thats nice. good for them. yeonjun: AT SEND OFF? ??? I THOUGHT MOAS WERE LIKE US??? you: bitchless? yeonjun: YES? WHAT HAPPENED TO TOGETHERNESS? kai: no you've got a point

soobin: that's crazy me personally if someone proposed to me in front of bebe rexha I would looking at them with a blank expression and ask "who dis?" ngl beomgyu: don't speak, peasant soobin: ? you: what's up with you two? kai: soobins is in another dating scandal with the same guy as last time and beomgyus mad because (a) soobin didn't deny it (b) he didn't tell any of us and (c) the week prior, they were on another bromance trip again :3

yeonjun: ik its pride month, and I'm happy for you beomgyu or condolences BUT WE AS A COLLECTIVE NEED TO PREPARE FOR DISASTER! CRISIS! SSSSOOOSSS beomgyu: kys soobin: im NOT dating Seonghwa, Q, Keonhee or Zhang Hao guys ^.^ kai: WHORE why do you remember all their names you: exactly!!! why do you have other friends Choi Soobin?????? beomgyu: oh but when I say it I'm gay huh 😒 yeonjun: HELLOou*oo))000? ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGnORE THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM? MOA NO BITCHLESS ERA??? beomgyu: you're an elephant in the room taehyun: Oh, dear god. I fear you may actually be onto something yeonjun. What if we lose our fanbase? Should I start posting thirst traps again? Guys seriously. you: NO 🙅‍♀️🚫🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ we cannot go back to the dark ages PLSLLSLLSLS those tik tok posting schedules era was BRUTAL

yeonjun: Taehyun I love your big sexy wrinkled brain please don't change no jungkook kai: remember that time Namjoon exposed tyun for his JK wallpaper LMAOOOOOOOOOO taehyun: huening kai. kai: apologies. sorrows. soobin: oh my god no yeah pls TAEHYUN U ARE SO RIGHT y/n start first!!! guys!! this is an emergency!!!!!!!!!!!!! you: SHUTUTUT UPPUPPUPU yeonjun: Hes right, youre our main visual

beomgyu: guys if MOA start marrying each other does that mean no more fan service? if so I say lets support the movement!!! SICK and TIRED of seeing those "Y/N MARRY ME" comments on my welives soobin: hey I comment those taehyun: ??? you: well yeonjun: this reminds me of that one time I was on tik tok and a yeonjun x y/n imagine came up about us getting married and leaving txt OH MY GOD WAS THAT GOD FORESHADOWING kai: since when did you believe in god??? yeonjun: GUYS WHAT IF MOAS GETTING MARRIED ACTUALLY MEANS THAT Y/N AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED AND WE'LL LIVE HAPPILY E VER AFTER AND TXT WILL NOT GO EXTINCT AND WE KISS AND WE HOLD HANDS AND ONE DAY WE FALL INLOVE DEADASS AND HAVE 3 KIDS AND WE LIVE TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES AND RAISE LITTLE MODEL FASHION BABIES I CAN STYLE AND THEYD HAVE SUCH GOOD GENES DO YOU SEE THE VISION

beomgyu kicked yeonjun from moa bitchFULL era beomgyu: now that that's over, how about we go get ice cream? taehyun: sure. kai: ICE CREAM >>>.<<< ^////^

soobin: can we add him back i kinda like when he's off his hinges wait yes we can because I'm the leader and I say so HAHA soobin added yeonjun to moa bitchFUL era yeonjun: thanks soobin soobin did you know that I love you you know soobin? soobin kicked yeonjun from moa bitchFUL era soobin: boy wth was that you added yeonjun to moa bitchFUL era you: guys what if I said i have a long term low maintenance long distance low commitment casual boyfriend

you left moa bitchFUL era kai: ????? soobin: there's a g*n in my mouth actually yeonjun: did I just get cheated on? taehyun: wasn't I the long term low maintenance low commitment casual bf? wdym long distance?? kai: ????? x2 beomgyu: ☹️☹️?? I THOUGHT WE WERE SOULMATES?? soobin: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

A/N: they’re all a little insane in today’s ep. sorry!