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#You’re the oxygen to my lungs
ao3feed-larry · 1 year
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You’re the oxygen to my lungs
by majrry
Louis Tomlinson and Harry styles are both twitch streamer's and became over the last 5 years good friends. But what if Harry struggles with anxiety and don’t want to be at home anymore? Louis is there to help him what mates obviously do but is what they are doing really how mates act around each other?!
Words: 492, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: One Direction (Band), Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Letshugo, Papaplatte, liam payne - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, David Dawson - Fandom
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Categories: M/M
Characters: Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Gemma Styles
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Additional Tags: Anxiety Disorder, Separation Anxiety, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Comfort, Domestic Fluff
via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/Z1MBVDH
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scientia-rex · 6 months
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For the most part, my approach to prescribing hormones is “sure,” but I will note that the one thing I lean HARD on patients about is smoking. If you’re transgender, and you’re on hormones, the number one thing we want to protect is your cardiovascular health. That’s frankly the number one thing I want to protect in all my patients, but anyone taking exogenous hormones is at higher baseline risk. And the best thing you can do for your heart is DON’T SMOKE. It’s a bitch to quit, and I didn’t even smoke much or long before I quit in my late teens, and I STILL didn’t enjoy quitting and had smoking dreams for years. It’s harder to quit than just about anything else up to and including crack and heroin, and that’s coming from a patient of mine who recently passed in her early 60s who’d done all of those things—for years and years—but eventually was able to quit everything except smoking. And that killed her. She developed severe COPD and eventually called to say her blood oxygen saturation was dipping into the 70s, which is incompatible with life. She was lucid enough to decline medical care, including refusing to call 911 or go to the ER. A week later, after both I and one of our outreach nurses had contacted her to ask her to please go to the ER, I got a notification that she’d been found dead. She had been so frustrated that she wasn’t a candidate for a lung transplant.
One of my oldest trans patients is in her late 50s. She’s had blood clots that went to the lungs. Repeatedly. Smoking raises that risk. Estrogen raises that risk. She’s a veteran with PTSD; of course she smoked.
These aren’t theoretical. These are humans I’ve cared for over years of their lives. I have been rooting for them—my beloved former addict, who spoke without shame about her years of homelessness and drug use in the city; my queer elders, who are slowly trading in their motorcycles for power scooters. I want everyone to live their fullest, best life.
Smoking doesn’t fit into that. Please don’t smoke. I don’t want you to die like that—not now and not later. I want you to have the future that you may not be able to see yet, but exists.
Since I moved home as an out queer, word got out, and there’s a whole apartment complex of lesbians in their 60s to their 80s who come see me—sitting next to their wives in the office, nagging about blood pressure meds, tattling about not having gotten the shingles shot they said they would. To be clear, when I was growing up in town, I knew no lesbians. Not one. I knew one gay kid in my class, which eventually turned into two. We were it. To see these women living decades with their wives and being able to squabble like any couple in my office over who was supposed to bring their home blood pressure cuff in for us to check it… it means the world to me.
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sunsetsimon · 9 months
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domestic things i think könig loves when he’s back home <3
☼ when you’re winding down for the night and both sitting on the couch. you’ll want to lay down, so you stretch your feet into his lap and he loves it. he’ll grab your foot, holding it to warm you up since your feet are always so cold.
☼ if he’s in the middle of a shower and you knock on the door before coming in to grab something. könig wipes the glass of the shower door, wanting to see you clearly, “need something, baby?”
“just my ring,” you say, grabbing your ring from the small tray you keep on the counter, having forgotten to put it back on after your shower earlier.
he keeps talking though, asking about your day and if you want to go to the gym with him in the morning. never admits it out loud but he loves your company while doing mundane things. having your presence just makes everything better!
☼ lovessssss when you make his favorite austrian dishes. he’s a bit of a picky eater, so being able to connect with you through his food is something he values. just make sure you cook a lot, his serving sizes are huge!
☼ laying his entire body weight on top of you in bed, slowly blocking the air from entering your lungs. he’s huge and knows it, pretending to fall asleep to see how long you last, holding out with as little oxygen as possible so he doesn’t have to move. he purposely makes his body go limp, his dead weight pushing you into the mattress.
“okay i give up,” you whine, pushing at his shoulders so he’ll roll off, knowing that he was testing you.
“longer than last time, though! maybe i’m losing some weight,” könig laughs, pulling you on top of him as he shifts onto his back.
his huge hands spread across your thighs, softly squeezing the thick skin, blue eyes locked on you. he takes in your entire face, noting something he loves about each of your unique features.
“is there something on my face?” your eyebrows furrow, unsure of why he’s suddenly staring at a random spot on your skin.
“nothing but beauty, mein schatz.”
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cherrycolored-punk · 23 days
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still frames - bestfriend! e.m. x fem! reader
author’s note: reminiscing about the friend I had in high school, the one who I’d create playlists with and who’d call to play his guitar for me every night. and you can’t tell me that Eddie isn’t the same type of dude. the sweet bits are based on the reminiscing. the rest is pure fiction with our favorite goof. anyways, enjoy!🧡
w/c: 5k
warnings: angst, pining, smut (oral - reader receiving, protected p in v), spanking, teasing, uhhhh let me know if I forgot anything
‼️ THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG, MINORS DNI ‼️
Raindrops race down your living room window in lines, and you watch them from your spot on the floor. It’s fall, and the lush greens of summer have begun to change color; their leaves now varying hues of orange and yellow. They create a coziness in your apartment, a warmth that feels like it envelops you and is amplified by the scent of your favorite candle; crisp apple, nectar, and warm clove spice fill your lungs with each breath you take.
Eddie lays beside you on his stomach, focusing on his phone and the playlist you created for him.
The playlists were a tradition since middle-school, a way to introduce each other to a new sound or a band the other might not have heard of. For some time, though, you’d been using it to send cryptic messages, and he hadn’t caught on. 
Your crush on Eddie came suddenly but was felt all at once. 
It was a spring morning nearly two years ago, and you’d laid dying in bed, except not really. You just had the flu, but you felt close to death and had texted him as much.
Eddie: what do you need?
You: hit me with your van, stab me in the face…please end my suffering.
He, of course, didn’t grant your wish, but he’d shown up at your apartment after work with a grocery bag full of supplies. Eddie was still wearing his navy coveralls covered in oil and smelled like grease. From what you could smell, anyway. You could barely breathe through your nose.
“I got you theraflu tea, and I don’t want to hear you complain about the taste. You just need to drink it,” he scolded before you could even complain. 
Your jaw snapped shut.
“Also got your favorite soup, four cans,” he held his fingers up, “orange juice, Vicks, popsicles in case your throat hurts, those saltines you like, and,” he turned, “I brought Scream for us to watch since I know it’s your favorite.”
It hit you like a ton of bricks, made your heart stutter, and nearly stop. 
It was the way he was smiling, the familiar excited gleam in his eye as he looked at you. It was the fact that he’d shown up after a twelve-hour shift with all your favorite sick foods in tow. 
Your eyes traced over his face like you were seeing him for the first time. The sharp edge of his jaw, the plump of his lips, the freckles that dotted the slope of his nose, and when did Eddie become so beautiful?
You’d tried blaming it on the fact that less oxygen was getting to your brain and a virus was wrecking your immune system, but now you didn’t have the same excuse. Now you couldn’t look at Eddie without noticing the pinks of his cheeks or the different smiles he had. Couldn’t be around him without yearning to hug him or hold him in a way that didn’t scream just friends.
The past year and a half had been overwhelming, the yearning making you feel hollow. Like if you didn’t say something, it would continue to eat you alive, but telling him ran the risk of ruining the friendship and that was a fate worse than being alone.
You glance over to the playlist he’s listening to, at the song playing, and clench your eyes shut.
Despite the music in your ears, you can hear the song reverberating off the walls of your skull. The one you heard that made you think of him. It plays in your head, having memorized every lyric and the way the singer’s voice influxes with certain words.
Bet you never knew it
Think you’d suit me just fine
And you know he’ll never get it, never know you’re hopelessly in love with him.
You close your eyes and focus on the song, one he chose specifically for you. 
Good Riddance plays soft, a break from the heavy metal he always added but not a song you hadn’t heard before. It brings a sense of nostalgia in the form of a lump in your throat, and you swallow hard, images of high school flashing through your mind like a retro view-master. It feels like yesterday and another lifetime all at once. The plays you were in, the various games you cheered at, going to Corroded Coffin’s shows, staying over at Eddie’s house, the first time he’d convinced you to join a campaign…the face of “I told you so” when you told him you had actually enjoyed it.
Eddie pulls the earbud from your ear, auburn hair tickling you where it meets your bare shoulder and interrupting your reminiscing. You turn to him, curious eyes meeting his steady gaze. 
“What is it?” you question with a quirk of your brow, unable to decipher the expression that colored his features. 
“Curious choice of songs here,” his voice carries a teasing lilt as he turns onto his side, facing you. 
You could feel his gaze on you, searching your features for the answer to a question he hadn’t asked yet. 
“How do you figure?” you turn, matching his pose, and rest your chin on your palm.
Eddie thought for a moment, his eyes turning up and to the left as he searched for the words. 
He looks handsome as ever, pale skin glowing from the light of your candle. Cinnamon eyes lit with a hint of mischief and something you couldn’t name. 
His eyes shift down and meet yours, a broad dimpled smile slotting into place. 
“Something tells me you have a crush on someone,” and your heart practically drops into your ass at his words.
“A crush?” You ask, half-laughing at his accusation in an attempt not to vomit.
“Oh, don’t play coy. Every song on here drones on about love,” he points to his phone, his eyebrows pushed into his bangs. 
“They’re just good songs, Edward,” you shove his head and lay flat on your back, but he follows your movements, hovering over you. Close enough that you can smell the spearmint of his gum and the cologne he wears; musk and smoked suede. It makes your mouth water, his proximity making your heart lurch in your ribcage. 
“I never said they weren’t good, Princess.” 
Your hand reaches out to push his face away at the nickname, but he catches your wrist in his grasp, a cocky smile spreading wide on his lips. 
“What happened to us not questioning the playlist, Munson? Isn’t that rule number one since day one?” You attempt to fight your wrist out of his grasp, but it remains firm. 
“Let go,” you grumble, and he shakes his head.
“Not until you tell me,” he counters.
“Tell you what?” you stop fighting, and your arm falls back near your head, his fingers still wrapped around it as though he were pinning you there. 
“Who is it?” he shrugs, but you don’t miss how his adam’s apple bobs as he asks. 
You wonder if Eddie can hear how your heart hammers, your senses overwhelmed by his sudden inquisition. 
“There isn’t anyone,” but your gaze turns from him, and he knows you’re lying. 
“Not good enough,” he shakes his head.
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I need to know,” you look back at him. The need you’d felt for the past year reflected in his gaze.
Time slows.
“Why?” your voice is softer, barely above a whisper. Breath held as you wait for his answer. 
He lets go of your wrist and settles back at your side, reaching for his phone as you watch him. The anticipation of his response pushing you closer to cardiac arrest. 
Eddie pulls out your other earbud and places one of his own in your ear. 
I Want You plays, and you recognize the familiar sound of Mitski’s voice. One that is full of yearning and a palpable sorrow. You look at him with a curious upturn of your brow, a silent question, and he turns the screen of his phone towards you. 
It’s a new playlist, one you hadn’t seen, and it bears a simple title: your name. 
A million thoughts race through your head, but you can’t find the words or the right question. 
“Mitski?” You decide to tease, your cheeks warm as the feelings rush through you. The realization that maybe, just maybe, he loved you too. 
“Shut up,” he grumbles, but it’s full of affection, and his face leans closer—his gaze darts between your eyes and the swell of your lips. 
Your mouth parts in anticipation, eyes fluttering shut as your head lifts to meet him halfway. 
A small gasp escapes your lips at the first contact, his lips softer than you’d ever imagined. Slotting perfectly together with yours. He tasted like the gum he chewed and the soda he’d had; sweeter than you thought he’d be.
Eddie’s hand cups your face, gently holding your jaw as his thumb rubs the apple of your cheek. Holding you almost reverently. 
The kiss deepens as he pulls you on top of him, his tongue tracing the curve of your bottom lip, asking for permission. Your tongue swipes against his in response, and you swallow the moan he feeds you - fingers tangling in the fabric of his black t-shirt as he holds you to him. 
His large hand wanders down your back and over the curve of your ass, gripping the dough of it. You can’t help the circle of your hips as you grind against his thigh. Chasing the friction you so desperately need. 
Your lungs begin to ache as the kiss deepens, desperate for oxygen but more so for his touch, and you roll over, pulling his weight on top of you. Enjoying the feel of his body pressed into yours, and his knee slotted between your legs. 
Eddie pulls away, taking a deep breath to fill his burning lungs, and you chase his fleeting lips - eyes still closed. He chuckles, rubbing your cheek affectionately - memorizing the softness of your skin and the warmth of your body underneath him.
You breathe in deeply, gaze finally meeting his, and the first thing you notice is the flush of his cheeks. Then the way his brown eyes are almost obsidian; darkened with need. His nose brushes yours as he leans in for another kiss, just as soft as the first but quick so he can look at you again. 
“Are you finally going to tell me who it is?” He questions, lips hovering over your jaw, and you can barely breathe. Anticipating his touch. 
You shrug your shoulder, not ready to admit to defeat. 
“Couldn’t tell you, just some guy,” you play with the collar of his shirt, acting aloof. 
“Just some guy,” he repeats with a shake of his head, pressing a kiss to the space between your jaw and your ear. 
Your breath comes out shaky, and you can only nod.
“Was hoping it was me, Princess,” he kisses down your neck causing goosebumps to sprout along your arms.
His lips press against the skin of your shoulder, pushing at the strap of your dress with his mouth to nudge it out of the way. 
The curve of his lips is a whisper above your skin, his head dipping down and tracing the tops of your breasts. You arch into his touch, desperate to feel his mouth over every inch of your body. 
He stops abruptly, his head lifting back to hover over yours with a mocking grin. Enjoying how he already affects you, the way you whine when you don’t get what you want. 
“As if you don’t know the answer,” you gruff, and he leans in, shaking his head. 
“I want to hear you say it,” he whispers, face inches from yours—a dare. 
The stubborn part of you wants to deny it, wants to keep the secret close in case this was all in jest, but there’s another part that yearns to hear him say it too. To hear him say it back. For it to be more than a private playlist with your name attached.
“It’s you,” and you almost want to disappear. To sink into the floor or to be swallowed whole. Despite the kiss, despite the way his body presses closer to yours when he finally hears you say the quiet part out loud. Saying it out loud made it real, the threat of losing him as a friend more imminent. 
But his mouth is back on yours, more fervent than before. His hand traces up your thigh and grips the soft flesh. Pressing himself against you. 
You kiss him back with just as much need, an eager hand pushing at the hem of his shirt until you feel his skin. The curve of your nails drags lightly down his abdomen, stopping just above his belt. Enjoying the way the coarse hairs that lead into his pants feels against your fingers. Your other hand curls in his hair, holding his face to yours. 
Eddie shudders at the sensation, a small gasp spilling from his lips as they leave yours. You look at him through hooded eyes, a slight grin slotting into place when you notice his flushed cheeks and hair slightly disheveled. 
Energy thrums through you, making your heart pound. God, you want to make him gasp like that again.
“Was that so hard?” He questions, his expression a little cocky despite his breathlessness, and if you weren’t so eager to kiss him again you might just push his face from yours. 
“Shut up,” you say affectionately and kiss him again. 
Soft, sweet. Relishing in the feel of his lips until it isn’t enough. Until the carnal hunger can’t be ignored. 
Your tongue swipes against his lower lip, and you suck it between your own. Swallowing his low moan. The palm of your hand trails lower, small fingers wrapping around his handcuff belt. Breath caught in your throat until it makes your lungs burn, and you pull away. 
Eddie watches you, your slow, languid movements causing him to hold his breath in anticipation. His long, callused fingers push up, up, up until you feel them beneath your panties, matching your pace, creating a line of fire wherever they meet your skin. 
His belt falls open with a rumble of metal, and he presses his forehead to yours; hand gripping your ass, fingers spreading you apart, and edging closer to your center. 
Your palm rubs against his coarse pubic hairs as you slide your hand further into his boxers, a small gasp escaping your lips when your fingers rub against the warm length of his arousal. Eddie is bigger than you had imagined, and you’d spent plenty of time picturing him while in bed. Legs spread and fingers working you over the edge. But this is better than a daydream. 
His cock jumps against your palm as you wrap your fingers along his shaft, exploring the soft skin and the thick vein that lines his length. Your thumb brushes against his tip, collecting the pre-cum that leaks from it. 
Dark eyes watch as you remove your hand and bring your thumb to your mouth, tongue swirling against your digit before sucking it clean. 
A groan escapes Eddie’s lips, his jaw slack. Eyes hooded with need. 
His next movements are fast, quicker than your mind can keep up with.
He flips you onto your stomach, mouth racing down your back eagerly; needy hands pushing the fabric of your dress up until your ass is exposed. 
“This okay,” he questions, fingers hooked on the lace of your panties, and you whine, ass wiggling eagerly beneath him in response. He slaps the fat of it, a cocky laugh falling from his lips, but he wastes no time.
Eddie tosses your panties over his head absently; gaze focused on the swell of your butt. He hooks an arm around your waist and drags you up on all fours until you’re bared to him. His hands are on your ass like an anchor as he dips his head closer. 
The scruff of his beard scrapes against your soft skin, his warm breath felt against your spine. Each kiss is slow and deliberate, felt in your core as his lips trail down the small of your back and over the valley of your ass. He grips your cheeks and spreads them, revealing the rim of your ass and your glistening cunt. 
“So fucking pretty,” and he practically whimpers at the sight, grabbing his cock to adjust the strain against his jeans. 
He traces his middle finger over your slit and to your bundle of nerves, creating a circle around the bud; a sensation that makes your hips jolt, a soft moan escaping your lips. 
You breathe in sharply when you feel the nudge of his nose against your sex, his tongue swiping along your folds. Savoring the way you taste. 
He teases you, tongue flicking against your clit before swiping towards your aching center and stretching you over his tongue. A guttural moan escapes your lips, your nails digging into the plush of your carpet at the sensation. 
Eddie buries his face deeper, pushing his tongue further into you with a groan that vibrates through you. 
“Oh my god,” you keen, reaching behind and knotting your hands into his hair. You grind against his face, eyes rolling as his tongue darts in and out of your sopping cunt. Fingers pressing into your clit. 
“Fuck,” he moans, voice gruff. 
His tongue laps at your arousal, middle finger prodding your entrance. You release his head, bracing against the carpet. He stretches you inch by inch before adding another, his digits curling inside you. Slowly, he begins to pump them into you, hitting a spot that makes your breath catch in your throat. You clench around him, the orgasm already building.
“Eddie,” you whine, spurring his movements to quicken. For his mouth to wrap around your clit and flick his tongue against it, eager for you to come undone.
You ride his fingers, desperate for the release and out of your mind with need. Body humming, warmed over from the intensity of your arousal.
“Gonna come for me, Princess?” 
You nod your head, pushing your pussy back against him. Desperate for his tongue on your sensitive bud. 
“S-so close,” you stammer. 
Every muscle in your body tenses, and you bury your face in the carpet as the feeling crashes over you. For a moment, you can’t breathe. The moan trapped in your throat and eyes clenched shut until, finally, your center unfurls. 
Your cunt flutters around Eddie’s fingers, and you moan his name as your legs begin to shake, but he doesn’t stop. He continues to pump his fingers into you, groaning at the noise it makes and the way your pussy grips him. His tongue flicks wildly against your clit, eliciting a loud groan to escape from your lips. Your legs shake more intensely as tears spring to your eyes. Bordering overstimulation. 
“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,” you beg, and suddenly, he pulls his fingers from you. Fat tongue dragging against your wet heat and savoring every drop of your essence. 
He slaps your ass once. Twice. Leaving kisses where his hands were before and trailing them up your back, pushing the fabric of your dress up with him until he pushes it off entirely. 
He’s bent over you, torso pressed to your back. Hard arousal pressed to your sopping center. Warm breath felt against your neck as he whispers.
“Sound so fucking pretty, want to hear you again. Want to watch you.” 
He presses closer to you so you can feel just how badly he wants you, and you shudder. You match his movements, pushing your ass back against him, turning to watch the way his eyes close and his jaw clenches. 
“Do you have a condom?” You whisper, and his eyes open abruptly, searching yours.
“Y-yeah,” he stammers, nodding his head late as though his body was just catching up with his thoughts. 
But he doesn’t move, and it makes you feel shy. A little unsure of yourself. You squirm beneath him and flip over so that you’re face-to-face. 
“We don’t have to,” you rub an absent hand against his face, trying not to think about the fact that you were mostly naked and he was hovering inches from you, fully clothed. 
Eddie shakes his head and leans closer.
“I want to,” he says with more conviction and kisses your cheek, brushing his lips along your jaw. 
“You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted to,” he whispers against your neck. 
His tongue swipes along your neck and nips at your soft flesh. A free hand wanders down your side, creating goosebumps in their path. 
“Have you thought of me?” You ask, dragging a hand down his sternum to the top of his still-open jeans. Your voice is teasing, heavy with a flirtation he’d never heard before, and he nods. No longer cocky, hovering above you but entirely at your mercy. 
“What have you thought about?” You push your hand back into his boxers and begin to stroke him, jaw going slack as you watch his eyes flutter shut. 
Eddie groans, the fingers at your side digging into your skin.
“Y-you in my bed,” he stammers, mind occupied by the feeling of your hand wrapped around his dick. Your grip tightens around him, your grasp firm as you pump his cock faster.
“Is that it?” You whisper against his mouth, nipping at the pout of his bottom lip. He follows your mouth as you pull away, and he shakes his head.
“Thought about how good you’d look as I fuck you,” his words are a little breathless, but they cause your thighs to clench. 
The movement isn’t lost on him. It spurs him on, the familiar cocky grin slotting into place—a glint of mischief in his eye. 
“You’ve thought of it too, haven’t you?” His nose brushes yours, lips hovering over your mouth as he waits for your response.
The shudder that runs through your body gives you away, and you nod. Hand still pumping his cock.
Eddie kisses you more tenderly than you expected. His lips soft against your own, relishing the feel of you. 
“How often?” He questions, mouth still hovering over yours. Hand tracing down your thigh and up again.
You try to concentrate, hand still working him but your rhythm unsteady as you debate to tell him the truth. 
“Every day,” you stroke him again, “sometimes twice a day.”
His mouth crashes against yours, all teeth and tongue. Your hand reaches from his boxers and begins to push at his jeans. He helps you, one hand next to your head, holding his weight above you, and the other helping push his jeans until he kicks them off. Eddie sits up and tugs off his shirt, revealing the expanse of his torso—the dark lines against his alabaster skin. You trace your fingertips over them, lips pressing against his chest as he reaches behind you and unclasps your bra. Eddie tosses the fabric aside, eyes fixated on the curve of your tits. 
“Fucking hell,” his voice is low, appreciative, and he reaches out to trace his fingers along your newly exposed skin. Your back arches into his touch, watching his thumb roll against your nipple and pinch the sensitive flesh between his fingers. A moan falls from your lips, and your head rolls back, legs closing around him.
His head dips to your neck, and he kisses down your chest, over the slopes of your breasts. 
Eddie’s tongue flicks and sucks, pulling your nipple between his teeth. One hand gripping your hip and leading you back down until you’re lying beneath him.
He reaches for his jeans and grabs his wallet, pulling a condom out. 
You stop him before he can unwrap it, “Wait.”
“Are you okay?” He stops and watches you with worry.
“Can we,” you pause, “can we go to my room? To the bed?”  
“Afraid of a little carpet burn, Princess?” He teases, and you swat his bicep, pushing at his chest so you can move past him. 
“Shut up, Munson,” you push his face, but he grabs your hand, standing and pulling you along with him. 
You turn from him to walk to your room, and he slaps your ass, causing you to yelp as you run away from him, your giggles filling the apartment. Eddie chases you, hand reaching out to slap your butt cheeks every so often until you reach the room and suddenly turn to face him.
His chest crashes against yours, and your chuckle dies when you look at him again. The desire in his eyes, the blush that’d crept into his cheeks, and the state of his hair. You reach between your bodies and wrap your hand around his cock, pumping him as he leads you to the bed.
Your back plops against the soft mattress, and he drags your ass to the edge, legs spread wide for him. 
He unwraps the condom and rolls the rubber down his shaft, one thumb drawing circles against your clit. Gathering your slick. 
You pant as he works you up, whining when he stops, only to jolt when his wrapped length rubs against your slick folds. Your fingers wrap around his wrist as he inches into you, his eyebrows pushing together as your cunt wraps around his cock.
“Holy fuck,” he groans, gripping your hip with his free hand. 
Eddie is a stretch, but the feel of him pushing into you is delicious - every inch making your toes curl. 
“Oh,” you moan, and it’s all you can manage. Words turning to nonsense once he’s fully seated inside of you. 
He leans down and kisses you, lips hard against yours as his hips roll into you. His rhythm starts slow, pumping into you at a languid pace. Savoring the way you feel, the way your moans sound, and your naked chest feels pressed to his. 
His movements quicken, the snap of his hips growing louder as he juts into you. You pull away from his lips and dig your nails into his bicep. He presses his forehead to yours, eyes focused on where your bodies are connected. Watching the way your pussy sucks him in, clenches perfecting around his shaft, and the image of you draws him closer to the edge. 
Eddie pushes off the mattress, straightening your legs until they’re pressed against his torso, one foot resting on either side of his head. He has the perfect view of you; the bounce of your tits as he ruts into you, the way your mouth hangs open, and your eyes are entirely focused on him. 
He pounds his dick into you, one hand moving between your legs and drawing circles against your bud. 
“Eddie, ahh, oh fuck-” you grip his forearm as he continues to thrust every inch of his cock in and out of your sensitive cunt. 
“You like that, baby?” and you nod.
“Say it,” he groans, hips stuttering as he nears his pinnacle. 
“Feel so good, Eddie,” you moan, and the way you say his name makes him clench his jaw. Trying his best to maintain composure until you come.
“Going to come for me, sweetheart?” and it sounds like a demand. Your nails dig into his skin as you nod. 
Your eyes trace down his body, watching the movement of his hips and the way your ass reverberates with each movement. The image of him, the erotic sound of skin on skin, bringing you closer.
“Please,” you beg, back arching off the bed as you get closer. The rubber band at your center stretching thin and ready to snap.
Your legs fall from his shoulders and hook around his waist, pulling him closer. Deeper. Exactly where you need him. The tip of his cock nudges your spongy center, the orgasm building with each rock of his hips until it’s enough.
His name is on your lips like a prayer, vision white as the intensity of the orgasm pulses through you. 
“Baby,” he groans, the grip your pussy has on him causing his hips to stutter and the muscles in his abdomen to tighten as he reaches his peak. His hands grip your thighs, his dick twitching inside you as he spills into the condom.
You come down for your orgasm and watch him through hooded eyes—the flush of his pale skin, the sharp edge of his jaw.
So fucking pretty.
He releases his grip on your thighs and slowly inches out of you. 
You whine at the loss, already needy for more, and he gives you a cocky smirk. Eddie presses a quick kiss to your lips before disappearing down the hall, and you listen as the faucet squeaks, then off before he returns. 
He approaches you with a warm washcloth, and wipes your center before discarding it into your nearby hamper. 
You pull him forward, resting his weight against your body. For a moment, the two of you sit in silence. The only sound filling the room is your heavy breaths and the faint thrums of your hearts. 
“That was-,” and he can’t finish the sentence. Unable to find the right string of words.
Eddie pushes his weight off you, balancing on his hands and meeting your gaze. He leans closer, his nose tracing yours, and he kisses you softly—a hum vibrating against your lips when he releases your mouth.
“Decent,” you shrug and roll your eyes affectionately. Falling into your usual teasing.
“That was some of my best work, babe,” he gasps, feigning shock. Hand to his chest as he stands straight. 
Your heart skips at the nickname, but you try to hide it. Babe. 
“Guess you’ll have to show me again,” you shrug and push yourself further onto the bed. 
Eddie raises a devious brow and follows your movements, his body inching forward as yours inches back. 
“I can show you again,” he kisses you, “and again,” he kisses you once more, “as many times as it takes to convince you,” he promises.
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starkeysprincess · 2 months
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stepbro!rafe waking you up to give him head
warnings: taboo content, 18+ mdni ⟡ stepbro!rafe, stepcest, mean rafe, oral (m receiving), breath play, blackmail (rafe threatening to rat reader out)
a/n: this will be under my au concepts masterlist
main m.list ⟡ au concepts ⟡ taglist
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Rafe groaned, his cock begging for release and his hand stilling its movement as it wasn’t enough to get him off. All he could think about was you, his sweet stepsister, and the way your plush lips felt around him the day he caught you trying to sneak out. It’s been on his mind all day and it was the cause behind why he couldn’t cum. He knew he wouldn’t be able to cum unless he felt your mouth on him again.
He found himself walking over to your room, which was conveniently across from his. He quietly shut the door, his feet treading softly against the wood floor until he was hovering over your sleeping form. His hand caressed the side of your face and he couldn’t help but think how peaceful you looked while you slept. 
He patted your cheek, “Wake up” he whispered, earning a small whine from you as you turned away from him. His large hands grabbed at your hips, turning you over onto your back once again as he climbed on top of you, straddling your waist. 
“I said wake up”, this time he patted your cheek harder, making your eyes flutter open, “Rafe, I was sleeping” you complained. “Quit your whining, do I look like I give a shit if you were sleeping?” he snorted. You didn’t know why he woke you up at this time of the night until your eyes trailed down his body and you noticed his hard-on pressing against his sweatpants.
“Need that sweet little mouth wrapped around my cock” he muttered, his hand already moving to tug his sweatpants down, pulling his length out. He scoots his body closer, straddling your chest and you can’t help but shake your head ‘no’ in protest. 
He threads one hand through your hair, pulling your head forward, “Don’t think I forgot about you tryin’ to sneak out to see some boy a few weeks ago. I won’t hesitate to rat you out, remember, sis, you said you’d do anything”. You knew he was right, you did tell him that you would do anything to ensure he wouldn’t tell your stepdad and your mom. You thought it would be a one-time thing but you clearly should’ve known better.  
“So here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna open your fuckin’ mouth and suck me off, yeah?” he pulls at your hair and you nod, showing him you understood. “Atta girl” he chuckles, pushing his shirt up, taking the hem into his mouth, “Open up f’me”. You open your mouth and he tugs your head toward him, slapping his dick at your tongue before pushing into your mouth. “Shit…fuckin’ missed this mouth” he groaned, your warm, wet mouth enveloping his base. 
You bobbed your head up and down, his hand gripping the back of your head, pushing your head down. His ears ring at your small gags and you try to pull away, making him move his other hand to pinch your nose shut. “Look at me” his voice is rough and you look up at him, tears kissing your waterline as you struggle to breathe. He snaps his hips forward, his balls hitting at your chin, grunting as your drool coats his cock, running out the sides of your mouth and down your chin. 
Your lungs burn, starting to feel lightheaded from the lack of oxygen as he’s brutally thrusting into your mouth. Rafe grins when your tears stream down your face, “Aw, poor thing can’t handle choking on her stepbrother’s cock?” he taunts. Your hands are clawing at his arm, your vision blurring until he removes his fingers from your nose, “You’re fine, breathe through your nose”. 
“Look so pretty chokin’ on my dick. Gonna fuckin’ cum down that pretty little throat and mark it as mine” he moans, his cock twitching and balls tightening as the release he’s been needing approaches. His hips stutter, your nose pressing at his pelvis as he holds your head, thick ropes of his cum filling your mouth.
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tagging: @oceandriveab @drewsonlyaurelia @babygorewhore @xxbimbobunnyxx @bimbotrashcan @annoyingassleo @rafesthroatbaby @redhead1180 @drudyslut @sturnioloshacker @heartsforvin @slumnit @hallecarey1 @eddieslut69 @kisses4angel @hyperfixationgirl @emilysuperswag @flvredcas @starkeyisthelastname @rafeinterlude @rafecameroninterlude @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @fae-of-prey @amandabbbbb @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @spid6y @chimindity @starkeysbebe @starkeysheart @spacexdrago @honeybunniesoobin @juniebugg @wearemadeofstardust0 @blckbrrybasket @bunnyrafe @nemesyaaa @shawtycoreee
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Text
Between Dreams and Sugar
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Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader
Synopsis: Your screams will haunt his dreams until the day he dies.
Word Count: 5.1k
Warnings: Torture, gore, angst, violence & death, suggestive joke, fluff, happy ending, rescue fic but who rescues who...>:)
A/N: Guys, I have a confession - I don't think I can write Ghost properly lmfao. This is horrifically mid.
*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*
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There was so much blood coating your body that you had forgotten where the wounds were and weren’t. It flowed from you like viscus water—a homogeneous mixture of congealed shades of red like rubies except for the simple fact that this was not beautiful; it was not desired or sought after. 
 On the ground, soaking in indistinguishable pools of crimson, ripples are sent out when your limp foot twitches mutely in its clutch. That was all you could do now. Twitch. Writhe. They didn’t even bother tying you to the chair anymore—just let you slouch half out of it like a school kid who had gotten too drunk the night before. 
Hell, you wished you were drunk. 
“Sergeant.” 
You wished you could feel your fingers. You wished you could move your neck up from its bend position as if it was a wilting flower; hair stuck to your skin. Blood dribbles out of your mouth. Drip…drop…drip…drop. 
You’d bitten your tongue open in a vain attempt to stop yourself from screaming, hadn’t you? You…you can’t quite remember.
“Sergeant!” Groaning long and low, the violent chills that wrack your form only serve to make yourself bleed out faster, tension forcing precious life fluid out from burst veins and slashed ankles. 
Cuts far span your legs and shoulders. Your back is nothing more than a painting of burns coated with sweat and infection; puss sticking you to the backrest of the chair like yellow-colored adhesive. Your clothes are the opposite idea of modesty. Tattered, torn by blades to create harm. Fuck, could you even breathe properly anymore?
Lungs only create a wheeze—you’re not getting enough oxygen to function. 
A dark growl bounces off the walls.
Ghost struggles against his binds, uniform also in a state of disarray with very obviously broken ribs and bruised chest. Splotches of yellow-white mounds signal blunt trauma over the pale skin that’s already laced with old scars. 
They’d all but anchored him to his chair—and even then the red marks that blister are a signal of the brutality of the large man as he peels back his skin to try and struggle himself out. 
You whine, the loftiness stuck in your brain addictive; to pull back that curtain was as much of a struggle as staying awake. That harsh Manchester accent was something to draw closer to, though, professionalism a key to the lock on your failing consciousness. The reminder of companionship.
“G…” Your vocal cords fizzle, “Ghost…” 
“Open your eyes.” Every word was enunciated, deep and guttural.
Parting your lips, more blood drowns your lap in thick globs, and soon your battered throat vibrates with coughs that make you see stars, mild panic the moment you realize that you can’t breathe. 
Jerking forward, you gasp, eyes snapping open as your neck bends ahead in desperation. Mucus and other bodily fluids spray over your lap, tinged scarlet, but the blockage in your throat is dispelled as your broken ribs quiver in agony. 
Whimpering like a kicked dog, you wonder how long it’ll take for Ghost to realize getting you to focus on him was pointless. If this all continued, you’d be dead within the day. 
But you entertain him.
Head slowly balking back as your jaw hangs loose, you rest it on the wooden frame behind you as softly as you’re able with a most likely concussed brain and a fractured skull. Only one eye opens, and even then it’s half-glued to your cheek with dried blood. 
Ghost’s balaclava had been ripped off. It felt wrong to see him in the open like this. Exposed. It was quite obvious he disliked it just as much as you did. 
Blue eyes blazed at you; blonde hair going this way and that as crimson fell down the swell of his Adam’s Apple from a very broken nose. That gaze was unrelenting, and even with your blurry vision, you knew it would be unwise to look away. 
His stubbled jaw sets as a heart can be seen skipping beats in his breast. You were totally out of it, enough so that you missed the way his lungs slightly released when you had pulled yourself back to the present. 
The gulping sigh.
“That’s it, Sergeant.” You cough once more, wet and haggard, and your head falls back to your chest before you have to force it back up on shaking muscles. It was getting harder. “Easy does it, then…Thought I lost you.”
“C–can’t,” the useless feet flicker over the ground, sloshing through fluid in unstable jumps as you slur out, “Hurts, Ghost.”  
A slow and dark inhalation meets your ears before a sudden grunt of a struggling body; jerking arms as the chair squeals with old nails being torn out. 
“I know, Birdie, I know.” His tone is lesser now as he bites back a curse as the blisters on his arms pop, the rope burns turning a vile color as his muscles strain, “But you keep those pretty little eyes on me, yeah?” 
It wasn’t supposed to go like this. 
Black Operations were dangerous, yeah, but never had the Lieutenant been so down in the gutter as he was right now. Mainly because of you, no, entirely because of you. He could withstand months of torture—mental and physical—with no problem. He’d done it countless times before. 
But never had he been forced to watch someone hurt you instead of him.
They would come in every day, these pitiful excuses for German drug runners, and would make him watch as they ripped open your skin with blunt knives and other tools coated in rust. Questions would be asked—questions that Ghost knew he could not answer even if it was you who would get punished. 
Every time you would flinch when the door to this concrete basement opened, it was harder to keep his tongue from wagging. He was watching you die; letting it happen. 
Fuck, it made him sick.
Ghost violently reems a shoulder up and down, not caring about the long stripes of now oozing blood on his forearms or the pain that the action brings bone-deep. There was so much scarlet flowing from you. Too much.
What he knows for certain is that he can’t let you die here. He’d never forgive himself for that.
How is she still conscious? The question was utterly genuine as Ghost’s dead eyes narrowed dangerously, sparking with urgency at the uneven risings and fallings from your chest. 
“Fucking hell,” the Lieutenant growls, each word punctuated by a desperate attempt to free himself. He had to get you out of this. You were his responsibility; his team. 
His…Ghost pants, sweat dripping down his arms.
You didn’t abandon him, how could he do the same to you? When questioned you hadn't given up his true name, hadn’t blabbered to save your own skin so you could avoid a horrible amount of pain. Pain that Ghost knew well. 
Pain that was never supposed to be known to you.
Your screams would haunt his nightmares until the day he died. 
“Ghost,” blue eyes freeze, snapping away from the sight of the bone around his wrists becoming visible through a thin coverage of remaining flesh. He pauses like a guard dog. Your optic was glinting, flicking with failing consciousness. The movement of your chest sputtered as the man clenched his teeth together. “You’re hurtin’ yourself.” 
“‘Bout to do even more damage, yeah?” he gets back to it, working enough blood into the rope to make it slick; dripping. “If it’ll get me out of these bastard things.” 
The weak smirk on your face gives his brows a deep furrow, sweat glistening on his forehead.
A part of him hated you. Hated you for the way you had this effect on him. He shouldn’t care if you lived or died—that wasn’t his cross to carry. 
But you’d made him soft these last few months. Soft, and weak, and disgustingly concerned for your safety. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t Ghost. 
“Gonna b…bleed out, y’know.” Your tongue slips, mind so loose that anything that comes to the front slips out like water from a slip-and-slide. Fingers twitching, your limp body grows so cold that you shiver. 
“Negative.” Ghost barks, slipping one hand partially under the restraint and his flesh, acting as a zipper, starts to go with it. He hisses under his breath, body hot and spilling. Mutilating himself. “Shut your damn gob.” Blood splatters to the floor, “I’m gettin’ us out of ‘ere.”
“Tell me a joke.” Blue eyes flicker, blonde lashes slipping over pale cheeks. 
You feel another wave of pain shutter through you—one that makes you whimper as quietly as a soft breeze on a summer day. 
“Joke?” Ghost hisses, glaring over at you without heat. “The fuck are you on about?” A wobbling eyebrow raise is all he gets. 
He grunts feral-like, evocative of a bear that hadn’t gotten his supper. Your lid droops and panic spikes.
“How long can a fish breakdance for?” Ghost slips a hand free, snarling in the back of his mouth as the entirety of his left hand is left ripped open, the fissures itchy and welling. Wasting no time, the limb goes to assist the other, pulling with ripped-off fingernails at the tight knot. A side-eye is sent your way.
Only you weren't moving. Lips snap in a moment of obvious concern, not only by the tone but by the way the man jerks forward in the chair—no matter if one arm and both of his legs were still restrained.
“Love!” The door handle rattles with screeching chains, but Ghost is occupied with raging at you. Ordering you to stay awake with terrifying eyes. It was as though for the first time in a long time there was true fear in his throat. True hatred. 
Chucking voices heat veins that he had long since thought were cold, and the Lieutenant composes himself with a sharp pause. He leans back slowly into the chair; jaw so tight his molars almost crack in the back of his mouth like candy. Your face is tilted downward, and Ghost memorizes the make of it, trails his gaze slowly over every slash and cut that mars you. Feet slap off the concrete as multiple people enter the room, but it was like a switch had flipped internally, walls going up.
The mask was still there, even if all that physically remained of it was the black paint in his sockets.
He’d return every mark, from a bruise to an open wound, tenfold. But you needed to wake up first. You…you needed to.
You had to be okay.
Three men encircle the two of you, faces hidden and obviously enjoying a bit of their own product.
“Look at this, Lutz, the man got a hand out of the binding.” Blue eyes travel to stare dead-on into a pair of blown pupils; mind gone. 
The second man goes to grip your hair, forcing your head up in inspection. Ghost’s vision immediately travels over, biceps going tense like a dog with its hackles raised and vision going red. 
“Don’t worry about that. It’s one hand, what can the Bastard do?”
“Oh,” another laughs, though his body is wound tight, “careful with the woman, Alric—the beast looks like he’s about to snap at you.”  
The three share sly looks. Alric, the one with your hair in his grip, shakes your head back and forth, blood flying around in the air as your limp body jerks. Ghost lunges, but he only makes it as far as the chair allows him before he’s shoved back by a hand on his chest. 
Moving quicker than an animal, bone snaps, and an agony-laced scream echoes off the walls not a millisecond later. 
Ghost had gripped that hand and twisted, making the wrist joint completely flip on itself. Blank blue eyes watch with glints of sadistic glee as the man wails, grabbing onto himself and falling back onto his ass.
The one holding you instantly releases your hair and rushes to his friend. 
“Holy fuck!” Everyone divulges into frantic German curses, Ghost making out a command to leave and go see a doctor.
“Cheers. Good luck with that, ya’ Bastard.” Grumbling under his breath, the Lieutenant realized he was probably enjoying this more than he should, but always his attention shifts back to you. How you hang limb, battered face covered by your hair, and loss of blood steadily leaving your hands curling into the palms—
Ghost’s eyes widen slightly as the two still try and calm down their companion. Your hand. It wasn’t curled because of onset rigor mortis. You were holding a blade. 
The Brit’s large chest swells with pride; jaw going somewhat slackened as he stares at you. So you were faking it….Fucking hell, Sweetheart. 
Slowly, his vision peels to the empty sheath on Lutz’s belt. It wasn’t a big knife—nothing more than a three-inch blade on the end. But you were still conscious enough to hear these goons show up before he had; had used sleight of hand that anyone else in your situation would have just given up on. 
It was hard to hold back a low chuckle, but he managed. Fuck, you were something else.
The two unmaimed men shove the third out the door, shouting down the hallway as his sobs and sniffling nose reverberate even as he’s out of sight. 
Grunting, the Brit shifts his hips, lips pulling in a snarl at the bouncing electrical wire that goes up his ribs. Many were broken; along with his nose and a dislocated shoulder, but he knows he can deal with it. Getting you out and to the Evac point was his top priority—his wounds weren’t over-the-top life-threatening unless they went too long without treatment. 
You on the other hand. 
Lids narrow on the way the knife-holding hand shakes with exertion when simply applying pressure. If this was going to happen, it had to happen now.
“That was a nice little show,” Alric growls, standing in the middle of the two in the chairs and keeping a considerable distance farther from Ghost than you. Blue eyes blink blankly, emotions swiftly wiped away. “One-handed? I’m impressed.” 
Ghost raises a single blonde eyebrow, “More where that came from.” 
Alric smiles.
“Emil—get the gun.” Legs slowly tense, but other than that there’s no outward display of nervousness. 
Seconds later a barrel is level with Ghost’s forehead, the chilled metal pressing deep into his blood-coated skin. He doesn’t balk back, he doesn’t even flinch, just watches with a dim flicker in his optics that remains even after he blinks. Like a cat’s slitted pupils. 
It would be no use shoving the gun out of this man’s hands—he would fire before the Lieutenant was able to steal the weapon for himself. 
“I’m getting sick of this game, Soldier. We’ve been through this day after day.” Alric swipes at his nose, white powder stuck under his nostrils. Ghost can’t stop the small tick of his mouth. “Tell me who you are,” the gun swivels, and the Brit’s heart seizes up. It points at your abdomen. “Or the girl gets a nice new stomach.” 
Lips thin into a small line as hidden fury swells. 
“Alric…” Emil seems nervous, his feet shifting and hands twitching. The aura Ghost was emitting was like a dark cloud around the room; sheer size and indistinguishable emotions rose to drown out all else when a threat to the beast’s bird was brought into the picture. There had been multiple times throughout the days when the men had been scared to touch you at all for fear of the look that had been leveled their way. Those eyes…fuck it was like a demon was stuck in flesh. In blue so close to gray the color was more like the concrete of a prison cell. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 
“Tell me.” Alric growls as Emil gets closer to you. Ghost stays silent, unblinking as his fingers curl into fists. His knuckles crack from the force. “Tell me!”
Emil bushes your shoulder and you lunge. Bringing the blade into his chest, your form brings the both of you to the floor in a splash of scarlet and twin screams of pain. 
The Blonde’s heart seizes at the sound in an aggressive bounce.
Alric whips around, eyes widened and gun loose in his grip. Ghost wastes no time, trusting your judgment, and shoves himself forward. A shot goes off as the Lieutenant rams his shoulder into the man, but the bullet bites into the far wall instead of your back as you dig your knife into Emil’s throat; wrestling for life. 
The chair still attached to Ghost was a problem, but his body weight was used to his advantage. Sinew bunched as a growl exits his lips, Alric and him slamming to the floor in a flurry of rabid intentions and the likeness of wolves caught in a trap. Ghost’s eyesight goes red, remembering every cut and beating you went through for him in the reflection of Alric’s eyes. That pathetic drug runner had made you bleed. 
His bird doesn’t bleed.
Teeth and nails are tools kept for animals, and now that the gun was too far from grip and you were limp beside the gargling body of Emil, Ghost decided that being a bit insane might do him well at the moment. 
He had to get you out of here. And in no world was this man going to get away to live one day more.
“Please, don’t,” Alric begs, clawing at his behemoth build, “I’m not—I wasn’t—!” 
Blood-stained teeth snap into the thin flesh of a visible neck as dead blue eyes keep you in sight like a dog does the moon.
You don’t recall anything after slashing one man’s neck and even that is a blur of flashing colors; instances of one waxing expression waning into another. Trapped between bouts of failing consciousness and pain that could rival someone getting their bones snapped one by one. 
But you know the feeling of moss on your cheek. The shadow that sits above you and the fingers that prod at your back, pressing cooling salves of Silverweed into the burns and cuts. Your eyes weakly flicker, a low moan stuck in your throat. 
Every limb is a cinder block.
“Stop your moving.” The command was stiff but quiet, and the pressure on your spine increased. Flinching, the sensation of tight bindings all along your body became apparent to you, slowly but surely. 
“That…hell?” You cough, throat bare and dry. Sweat drips down your temple. 
Blinking rapidly, you try to focus on the cold wind whipping past your bare skin, the trees in the distance of what appeared to be a glade. The sound of a running stream makes your ears perk.
A canteen was suddenly shoved to your lips and you grunt in surprise, water slicking your closed lips.
“Drink.” You don’t argue, peeling back your lips and letting the liquid drip into your mouth, most falling to the moss under you and getting re-adsorbed into the earth. “...There’s a girl.” 
The metal container disappears just as quickly as it showed up, and you lick at the corner of your lips, cheeks burning at the comment.
Ghost kneels above you, bar a shirt, and you narrow your lids to focus on the black and blue splotches completely covering him. He still doesn’t have a mask, and you glance over the blonde stubble; the scars, and the aggressive set of his eyebrows. The blood had been washed away, and you wondered if the stream in the background of this place was still stained with crimson and the telltale black of eye paint.
“Simon,” whispering seemed appropriate, though you don’t know why. Your voice was better now but still, your body refused to listen to your instructions. Every plea to move your arms or legs was denied, sharp needles poking into your flesh that made you shake. “What…?” 
Blue eyes blink down at you, something hidden in the depths. A finger curls to flick a stray hair from your face slowly. Skin brushes skin.
“Snagged what I could before I ran off. Wasn’t much.” That harsh voice, the gravel in it. You frown weakly, your lids heavy. “Bandages. Extra shirt. Blanket I used to stop the bleeding.”
He won’t tell you he was begging you to wake up when he’d been stuffing old fabric into your open wounds. 
Coughs wrack your frame, whole body jerks that overtake what little peace there was to be found. A hand tilts your head back to the ground, patient as the other grabs your hair, peeling the strands away as a flood of vomit escapes your mouth. 
Eyes burning and face hot, you sputter as a thumb runs deep circles over your scalp. 
“Easy…” Ghost whispers, tattoos like obsidian in the darkness of the world around the two. Late afternoon and this was the first time you’d woken up since he’d been carrying you. A nail was taken out of his heart. 
Seeing your eyes flicker, even filled with the tears as they were, was a blessing he’d thank whatever God that was out there for. “Easy, Sweetheart. Breathe for me.”
“Fuck,” you gasp, shaking more than a leaf. “Fuck it hurts, Simon.” 
He shifts you slightly away from the bile, the familiar words burning his lungs. 
“Evac point is four miles.” It felt like a death sentence to you, your eyes going buggy at the thought. “I’m carrying you there.” 
“Bullshit,” you pant, wheezing. “Your arms are destroyed.” 
Ghost blinks before scowling, sending a glance to his limbs. They’re both raw and skinned, just like his fingers; red with burst blisters the size of rocks. One hurts far more than the other.
“They’re nothing.” 
“Nothing pretty to look at,” blue eyes narrow on you in annoyance, but the dry-humored Brit doesn't miss a beat.
“Seems you’re in good spirits, Sergeant. Fancy walking on your own?” Your lips flick, delirious and high off of whatever pain meds that Ghost had found when he had been carrying you out of the basement of that house. 
Try as he might, the feeling of your dead weight was worse than he ever could have imagined. So, outwardly, he stayed numb but knew that every little look from you was as beautiful as a sunrise. 
“Want me to try?” Palms begin to shift, a hand pressing deep into the moss that bends and yields to your form. 
Ghost snaps forward.
“Fucking Bastard!” He puts weight on the back of your shoulder as you hiccup dull chuckles, “Quit it! Else I’ll leave you here to annoy the damn plants.”
The threat was empty, and your eyes softened as they spread their fatigued gaze over the span of the Brit’s visible skin, glee leaking out. Ghost sighs, shaking his head sharply at you, agitation stuck in his skull as it always was.
So beastly, this man, but his hold on you was about as gentle as you could imagine. 
Your attraction to him was anything but one-sided. You knew his emotions as well as your own; it was quite obvious to everyone but him. The long looks, the concerned glances. His touch freely given.
He had given you his name and, to you, that was about as close to a proposal as a ring was. You’d kissed; you’d shared beds and shared skin. You knew when he was being horrible to himself deep in the confines of his head.
“Simon,” you whisper, and a blue gaze stays stubbornly away, glaring at your burns with venom. A tired smile peels your lips. “Simon.” 
A huff is all you get, a bush of skin as breath wafts over your bare back. Your hand goes to touch his knee, brushing softly over the torn fabric. The flinch would not be noticeable to anyone but you. Brows pull slightly tighter. 
“I had a dream about you, y’know.” Speaking hurt, but the attention that is finally brought your way was worth it. Birds chirp in the distance.
“What’s that?” 
“Hm,” you lightly nod, cheek ruffling moss as you take down slow inhalations. Staring into each other’s eyes you for a moment forget the agony under your skin. “You were trapped by a giant fish underwater.” 
A Blonde eyebrow raises, slow smirk unable to be hidden. It was impossible not to be entirely taken by you. How you speak, how you breathe. Even like this, you had placed a spell of black magic over him, binding the darkness that made up Simon Riley—Ghost—to your every action and whim.
“That right, Sweetheart? What happened, then?”
Chuckling, Ghost’s hold goes to your neck, massaging the skin so delicately that you lose your train of thought for a moment as shivers erupt, “I had to save you.”  
Lips press to your scalp, a bent nose digging despite the shifting cartilage as lion limbs shake with a want to drag you to him. Such a rabid beast that devotes himself to your life.
“You tend to do a lot of the savin’, Love.” It’s muttered into your hair, softly, lowly. Compliments are rare—Ghost prefers actions above all else—but they’re treasured. 
You know what he means.
“Yeah, I love you, too, you brute.” Deep chuckles dance in your ear, and you both stay there for a while, simply breathing in each other as the sky bleeds into the earth. So content, your heart had slowed, the salve in your wounds and the bandages compressing the areas with the most problems and forcing them to be numb. 
When you had nearly fallen asleep, Ghost had peeled back to look down at you; eyes malleable as they slipped over your battered body. 
“Hm,” he hums, reaching to his side and grabbing for the shirt he had stolen. After a few minutes of quiet curses and apologetic kisses, the large piece of fabric was over your top. The Lieutenant had begrudgingly admitted that the scraps of pants you had on now would have to do until you got proper attention. 
“Giving the squirrels a show, then, Simon?” The man rolls his eyes deeply at the sarcastic comment, rubbing up and down your legs to keep circulation going as he readies to move you.
“They better keep quiet ‘bout it,” Ghost grumbles, running a hand through his hair, “Else I’ll have to rip a few tails.”
“So violent,” You wince when your shoulder is gripped, neck limp as your upper half was rotated. Gnashing your teeth, the Lieutenant shushes you comfortably, raising your body to rest in the crook of his large arm. Muscles tense and loosen, your cheek now resting on your Lover’s pec. You hear him hiss silently at the pressure on his broken ribs as guilt hits you. “Not the squirrels’ fault.” 
“It is if they keep looking at ya. Only I get to see you like that.” Your pain-laced laugh is cut off when you’re lifted, large hands under your knees helping equalize your body. 
A strained whine exits your lips, straining to get air as you pant and clench your eyes shut. Ghost wasn’t doing much better—gritting his teeth and tilting his head back. 
Feet stumble before righting themselves, lids opening as lashes flutter over bloodless cheeks to stare down at you. 
The word seems to stop.
“...Tell me you’re alright.” You heard that for what it was—Tell me to keep going, because if you don’t then I won’t be able to. 
Blinking up at him, your nose slots under his chin as you feel him shake with exertion, lips pressing deep into his raging pulse. You swallow down saliva as his grip on you tightens, pressing you closer; giving you his body heat.
“I’m okay, Simon. Not…not lost yet.” 
“Good.” He lets his eyes close for a moment, taking you in as he lets his nose be coated in your scent, the flesh under his fingertips. Ghost knows some of your wounds reopen, and, thus, his bare feet start off into the woods. His men would still be at the Evac point waiting for them. Price would have given the order. “...I’ll be needing you ‘round. Might lose my head otherwise, eh?”
“You do seem to have a few loose screws when I’m not near.” 
“That was an exaggeration,” Simon grumbles. 
You scoff, trying not to puke at his limping steps. The word swirls, but the man carrying you stays ever clear. “No,” you whisper, “No, it wasn’t.”
Scared lips pull up, but the birds respond for him. 
Less than ten percent out from the Evac point is when you drop a tidbit of a thought to the man.
“Y’know what I want, Ghost?” The large Brit side-steps a downed tree, sweat dripping down his chin to splatter to your skin.
“What is it?” He pants, sparing you a glance as his eyebrows are constantly furrowed in concentration. Your talking made it easier to push on.
“A fucking cake. A big one.” Blue eyes blink and his feet nearly stumble to a stop before he forces on. A gasp of a chuckle makes your heart skip a beat as voices start up from the next tree line.
“Keep talking to me, Love, and I’ll buy you the whole bloody bakery.” Soldiers burst from the bushes, and Ghost calls out identification as everyone gapes. Guns immediately lower.
Medics rush forward, but still on high alert, the Lieutenant snaps at them, bringing you closer into his hold as he pushes onward. 
“Where’s the fucking heli?!” Everyone stops and points. Huffing, Ghost shoves forward. 
“The whole bakery?” You slur, giggling and feeling the kiss on your head. 
“Every bastard pastry’ll be yours. Count on it.” 
“Simon, you promised.” Your wheel-chair bound form pouts as the man in question deadpans from behind you, leaning on the handles. His balaclava can only hide so much.
The air is sweet with the scent of desserts and bread. 
“Birdie, you can’t eat all ‘O that, you’ll explode like you took a .308 round to the head.” The woman behind the counter pales, pulling at the collar of her shirt with her smile becoming strained.
“Is that a challenge?” You glance over your shoulder, smirking wide. 
“No,” Simon blanky states, the skin over his nose bridge and under-eye completely black and blue. 
“I think that was a challenge.” 
“It wasn’t.”
The customers grind their palms into their eye sockets, some tuning around in line and leaving entirely.
“Simon,” you intertwine your hands and lean to show him, eyes wide and pleading. “Please.” Drawing out the word, you smile with everything you can. 
The both of you connect in a battle of wills—you with that infectious innocent and sly nature, and Simon with a tight glare and tired eyes. A blatant will to please you in every aspect and a need to see you happy at all times. This goes on for a full minute before a loud sigh echoes off the walls, shoulders deflating. A hidden kiss is pressed firmly to your head.
You giggle loudly at the authoritative order.
“One of everything.”
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peachesofteal · 21 hours
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Simple Math / Part Eighteen
Simple Math masterlist
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Ghost/Soap/female reader - AO3 - 3.1K words Tags: 18+ mdni. nurse!reader. Sexual content. Pregnancy and things that come with it. Brief mention of options in relation to termination of pregnancy. PTSD. Heavy emotions. Graphic descriptions of domestic violence and miscarriage, suicidal ideation. This is mostly inner monologue. Feelings of anxiety, despair, fear. This part is a little shorter due to its emotional nature.
There’s no oxygen.
No room for your lungs to expand, nothing for you to suck into your chest and relieve the ache blooming in your bones.
You drift, unmoored, a sailboat with no rudder, no engine to save you in an ocean without a breeze. All you can do is follow the current, the one leading you back to the dozen HCG strips buried in the bottom of a trash can, faint pink lines buried in the membranes and the matter of your brain.
The midwife that squeezed you in confirmed it all with a blood draw.
“You have options.”
“I know.”
There are resources, and education for you…  though I know you’re probably aware.”
“Yup.”
“Depending on your decisions, we’d like to see you in about two weeks for an eight-week ultrasound.” You gulp. The air is tragically thin in this room, and the paper crinkles under your uneasy weight.  
“Okay.”
When Simon appears in the main lobby for the usual trek home, you barely hold back the urge to vomit all over his shoes. Your legs are weak, trembling with each step forward, and you hold his hand so tight, your bones ache.
Sensitive as always, he lingers alongside you in the quiet, biding his time before slicing through your silence. “What is it sweetheart?”
“Huh?” You’re already on the front doorstep, memory of the entire trip evaporated.
“Do you still not feel well?”
“Oh, yeah.” The lie is toxic, sludge stuck in your bloodstream, clogging your capillaries until they burst like fireworks. “It’s my stomach.”
“Pen’s still under the weather too.”
“Poor thing.” The words are numb. Your mind is numb. Your body is a livewire and exhausted, all at once, the push and pull almost knocking you onto the floor. In the kitchen, Johnny wraps an arm around your waist, leaning in for a kiss, but nothing registers.
“Maybe you should get some rest.”
“Yeah.” Autopilot. That’s the gear you’re in. Going through the motions, trying to hold yourself together, keep your head above water.
Is this real?
Is this happening?
What will they say?
What will they think?
“Bunny?” Johnny’s thumb is on your carotid, where your pulse beats. Where your heart pushes blood through your circulatory system, flowing to a presence now fluttering inside you.
One plus one equals two.
“Sorry, yeah. Think I’m gonna go up, take a nap.”
“Yell if ye need anything, aye?” All you can do is nod.
You gravitate towards the guest room before you can stop yourself. It’s as you left it, bed made, sheets crisp, remnants of your things separated into easily sorted piles. In the nest of blankets, it’s easy to pretend. Easy to imagine the bed as a cloud of cotton candy, so high in the sky, above the earth, above this… this thing that is happening.
An embryo. Something two millimeters long, siphoning its existence from yours.
That tiny sliver of hope is nowhere to be found, replaced now with logical, realistic questions.
Can you sustain a pregnancy, after the damage inflicted during the last one?
Can you carry one to viability?
Can you mentally, emotionally, physically handle a pregnancy?
An infant?
And what about them?
What about you?
You think about the times you wanted to die. The moments you sat in the shower, streams of red running to the drain, a clump of cells you never knew draining from your body with each second.
A loss you never knew you’d mourn. Something stolen. Something slipping through your fingers, handfuls of sand blown away by a sea breeze.
The overwhelming feeling of drowning every time you laid on the floor in a broken heap, synapses misfiring, making wrong connections, desperately trying to latch onto anything normal, anything sane. Staring at the ceiling, slow flow of blood dripping down your throat, left wondering if this will be it, this will be the moment it goes too far. Your spine will snap. You’ll take a blow to the head strong enough to render you unconscious, permanently. Your windpipe will be crushed, closing in on itself, starving your brain of oxygen. In those moments, you could only hope.
You’re grateful, at least, that you don’t feel like that now.
In a cocoon on a cusp of hazy sleep, you’re cradled to a chest, jostled lightly until blankets are tucked back up around your shoulders and snuggled between two warm bodies, a gentle hand cupping your cheek.
“Our sweet girl,” Simon murmurs in the dark, “we’re here. Whatever it is, we have you.”
A dream.
You sleepwalk through life. One week turns to two, and then three. Three weeks turn to four, and more, before you know it, you’re twelve weeks pregnant, still going through the motions, robotically making your way through each day. You’re shoving the waterfall of feelings and emotions so deep, so far away, they’re likely to never see the sun again.
You lock them in a box.
You bury it in a grave, six feet under.
At work, you’re grateful you know your job inside and out, because you’re mostly just going through the motions. The only time you show any sign of life is when your boss tries to float you to the NICU. When you dig in your heels, repeatedly denying the request, she finally gives up and moves onto a new unsuspecting victim.
Better them than you.
At home, its worse. You don’t know if you’re imagining the tension or if its truly there, eggshells crumbling beneath your feet, words turned to ash. You’re a marionette, fate pulling the strings, tearing the joints of your limbs in a million directions.
They can tell. They read you too well, but you’re not so easily swayed. Simon tries to coax it gently; Johnny tries to bluntly force it out. Both tactics fail, but they themselves stay steady, and true, holding you in the night, soothing you with touch and whispers, loving you through it all.
During the day, they coddle you. Johnny massages your shoulder, tips your chin back until your skull rests on collarbone, dots kisses all over your skin. He tugs you onto the patio, curls up on the outdoor loveseat with you under a big blanket, your head in his lap, telling you stories about his childhood, his parents. He makes you giggle by reminiscing of all the times he chased Simon around at work, how Kyle fell out of a helicopter, how they had to wear suits for an undercover op one time and Simon's ripped right down the ass.
Simon cooks, all your favorites, things you forgot he pays attention to, and spoons you on the couch, big arm like a safety net stretched across your chest to keep you close. He brings tea to bed, reading until your eyes close, calming your mind enough to lull you to sleep.
Even at night, they treasure you like glass. Johnny lays on his stomach, thumbs rubbing circles into your thighs, parting them, backs of his knuckles tracing over the seam of your pussy, coaxing your arousal, taking his time. He licks your clit so slowly its torture, all the while Simon tugs your knee as wide as he can, hand fisted in the mohawk, kissing you from shoulder to neck, over and over.
You beg them to fuck you hard, harder than you’ve ever asked for it before. Johnny jumps at the idea, but Simon kills it immediately.
“No,” he traces a line over the curve of your ass to the creases of your thighs, “that’s not going to happen, sweetheart. Not until you tell us what’s going on.” You opt to bury your face in his chest instead and ride Johnny’s hand as Simon coaches, telling you how good you are, how lucky they are, how much you mean to them.
If only they knew. Would they still feel the same?
It’s more than you deserve, you think. More than you know how to handle. The guilt piles onto your shoulders. You’re carrying a life, a life you created with them, a life they should know about.
The decisions waiting in the wings haunt you at every turn.
What should you do? What will you do?
You should tell them. They should know.
Why are you keeping this a secret?
The time is passing too fast, and with it, your panic increases, forcing your back to bow, hands clutching at your legs, head hanging heavy to the floor. At work in the closet, at home the moments you’re alone, the agony steals your breath, heart shredding to pieces. It overcomes you, floods your nervous system until the world spins.
In the shower, you fall apart, truly, knees slamming into tile, your shoulders slumped against the wall.
It’s hard to tell you’re crying with water streaming over your face.
You lose your shit the day Penny crawls across the couch to cuddle you.
She pulls herself up onto your belly, her head resting on your chest, chubby hands fisted in your shirt.
“Bunny wead?” She wants a story, a routine the two of you enjoy together, turning the pages of a children’s book and acting out all the voices. She’ll squeal with glee, her laughter full of excitement, and you’ll tickle her sides while pretending to eat her foot.
It makes you both happy, but today, it splits your soul in two.
You burst into tears. She jolts back, looking up into your face, little brow furrowed in confusion, mouth shocked into a circle.
“Bunny.” She pats your cheek, alarmed, and you skim your nose across the top of her head, breathing her deep, anchoring your arm around her back. She’s starting to get upset, too perceptive, too empathetic, already expressing the traits of both her parents. You try to soothe her distress.
“It’s alright.” Your voice cracks on the promise, her nose pressed to your throat. “It’s alright, Penny. I’m sorry. Everything’s okay.” Johnny’s unmistakable gait sounds on the stairs, still slightly off balance, and you hastily wipe your face, forcing your eyes to his as he approaches the couch.
“What’s wrong?” He sees it immediately, and you shake him off with another lie, so many little white ones rotting into blinding despair.
“I had a bad day at work yesterday, that’s all. Just still trying to process it.” His head cocks.
“Ye sure?”
“Yeah, promise. I’ll be fine.”
The tide changes at work.
A man lies in a medically induced coma, barbiturates keeping him in the dark, a suspended state of uncertainty. His wife waits, and waits, fixes her too keen eyes on you every time she sees you, waiting for an update, good news, anything. Anything that could bring her peace.
On the second day of your work week, your steps stutter at the sight of her sitting bedside, a baby in her arms, gentle words floating between them.
“We’ve moved onto ba now, for a bottle, which is just crazy,” she murmurs, a hand under her cheek, wiping away tracks of tears, “and I think he’s too big for me to carry around at this point.” There’s a wet chuckle, and the baby tips forward, smacking his hand on his dad’s. “Is that daddy?” She bounces him, quiet as he babbles and gurgles, his eyes wide at the sights and sounds in a hospital room.
You clear your throat. She startles.
“Oh god, sorry… I didn’t see you there.”
“It’s okay,” Intruding on private moments is not uncommon, though here it feels different. “I just need to check on some things and then I’ll be out of your hair.” She nods, and outside of the baby’s noises, the room is silent until she breaks it with a whisper.
“I know there’s probably no chance he can hear me,” her fingers stroke through his hair, a pained look on her face, “but I like to believe he can.”
“There’s no definitive research that he can’t,” you tell her softly, carefully going about your work to avoid disturbing them.
“I hope he can hear the baby. He’s… he’s missed so much already, you know?” She sniffles, tears freely falling, and your heart clenches. “We’re broken without him; I’m broken without him. He’s my family, my everything. I can’t… we’re not supposed to be apart. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
You have thick skin. You’ve seen countless people die. Consoled hundreds of family members. Held hands with patients taking their last breath.
This shouldn’t bother you. It shouldn’t affect you in any way, but when you look at your patient, and his partner, and his child-
All you can see is your boys and their unconditional love. Simon sitting vigilant at Johnny’s bedside. Johnny’s tears when he finally woke up. The fear in Simon’s eyes when Johnny seized, the trust he placed in your promise to take care of him. Penny in his arms as soon as he was strong enough to hold her. Their resolve to hold their family together, their dedication to you through it all. The three of them, a family, now yours, spun together with string stronger than steel, connecting the four of you for the rest of your life.
You’ll make it through. You’ll all make it through. You have their love shining down on your face. The love strong enough to hold you tight, rock you through your nightmares, encourage you to grow, to be yourself, to let it all go.
And they have you. Your love. Something you never thought would exist again, fostered and enticed forward, magnified for them. For the first time, you’re able to give to someone, to comfort them, care for them the way they have for you, hold them tight through their pain, their fears. It’s never felt so…
right.
It’s not one plus one. It’s five. Five hearts, making a family.
You know, without a doubt, they’ll love this baby. They won’t leave your side. They’ll take care of you, they’ll nurture you both, they’ll be solid, and supportive, and patient through it all.
You don’t need them to say it, and you don’t need to be scared.
Their light soothing your despair, healing the deep embedded scars, their warmth of the sun-
The little sunbeam growing inside you.
“You’re a few weeks late.” The midwife shakes her head as you settle on the exam table. You showed up in a whirlwind again, convincing her to fit you in between appointments.
“I know, I… I was struggling with it, but I feel better now. I’m… ready.” Your lips quirk at the corners, and she smiles in return.
“Should we take a look then?” You nod with a deep breath.
The jelly is cold, and she purposefully keeps the screen turned away from you, clicking, measuring, assessing in silence. It's standard policy for any employee or medical professional. Though you're not an ultrasound tech, it's not outside the realm of possibility that you could read the image on the screen before she can tell you gently that something is wrong.
Your past haunts you, taunts you, convinces you this has all been for nothing. You’re too damaged for this. Your body is broken. He took too much.
Still, you hope. You cling to a future, a vision, Penny holding the baby with Johnny’s arms supporting her, Simon half asleep with a burp cloth on his shoulder, little one asleep on his chest.
“Alright,” she turns it back for you to see, her expression colored with kindness. “Everything looks great, honey.”
“Everything?”
“Yes. Placenta is in optimal position, and baby is right on track developmentally for twelve weeks.” She twists a knob, the volume, filling the room with sound of galloping hoofbeats.
The heartbeat.
“Oh my god.” Your hand clasps over your mouth and you desperately try to bring air in through your nose, filling your diaphragm, staving off a river of tears unsuccessfully. She hands you a tissue.
“I’ll get you some printouts, okay?” You can’t do anything but choke on a thank you.
You slip away after your appointment, crossing through the halls leading to the out-patient wing where you’ll find Johnny in physical therapy, Simon in a chair scrolling through his phone just outside. The smile stretches across your face naturally, joy bursting at the seams.  
It's a new day, a new moment to turn away from the darkness and step into the sun.
You’re nearly skipping, heart so full, overflowing with hope, with happiness, your hands trembling, pictures of the scan clutched in your fingers. You hold them so tight, close to your chest, afraid they may disappear, be lost.
In hindsight, the crippling agony and fear you’ve been holding in seems so foolish now. It’s easy to curse yourself for the doubt, for the despair, but the path you took to get here, to be present in this moment, moving forward, was worth it.
They love you, and they’ll love little sunbeam. Penny will be the best big sister. You’ll make new memories, together, build the beginning of this life into a forever. Everything will work out; you can feel it now. You’ve shed the dented armor, the walls, the fence topped with barbed wire. The girl in the mirror, gone. It’s all crumbled down. With Johnny. With Simon. Your family.
A family of five.
You round the corner with your hands knitted together, a flimsy effort to still them, elated and barely able to hold your secret in. You won’t be able to do a cute announcement, won’t be patient enough to do something special like get Penny a shirt that says, “best big sister” even though you’d like to.
You’ve kept it from them for long enough. You need them to know.
You look for Simon first, expecting him to be waiting outside the door, but when he's not there, you glance around, and then peek into the observation window to find the physical therapy room empty.
Where are they? Where-
They’re at the end of the hall, talking to someone out of sight. Simon has his arms crossed, his body angled partially in front of Johnny, who shifts his weight onto his good leg. They’re both wearing serious expressions, Simon’s the most severe, and then Johnny’s lips twist into a grim sort of smile.
Whoever they’re talking to steps forward, and your heart burns into ash, falling through the floor to bottomless depths of darkness.
Phillip.
507 notes · View notes
misted-dream · 1 month
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DOPAMINE ﹒⌗﹒💒﹒౨ৎ˚₊‧ 제노 + fem!reader
in which . . . you and jeno are both too secretive and oblivious for your own good.
. . . BE MY LITTLE SECRET
content&warnings | MDNI smut, profanity, fwb dynamics, reader gets picked up, stomach bulge, kinda angsty kinda fluffy, unprotected sex, idk lmk if something’s missed
word count | 3k
notes | inspired by giselle's dopamine! this kinda went off track from what i wanted but oh well!
. . . KEEP IT HUSH HUSH, BUT I THINK I’M IN LOVE
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it’s not the first time you find yourself at jeno’s doorstep this late into the night—and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. but it is the first time that it’s taken him this long to answer the door.
granted, you didn’t send a prior heads up like you usually do, but you didn’t plan on coming here either. you didn’t plan on being stuck outside jeno’s apartment waiting for a response that you’ve half-accepted isn’t coming.
still, you can’t bring your feet to move away from the entrance, like they’re glued to the floor.
you would be feeling ashamed right now if it wasn’t for the fact that you think you’re beyond feeling shameful tonight. which is what exactly led you here, to jeno.
and as if god took pity on you, your ‘resilience’ is rewarded when you hear shuffling from behind the door. the door creaks open and jeno stands behind it, craggy probably from being awoken well past midnight.
his hand cups the back of his neck, stretching his shoulders as he takes in who’s standing in front of him. “yn?” instinctively, his body steps to the side, allowing you space to step into his home.
the second the last syllable of your name dropped from his lips, you find yourself nothing short of lunging at him, arms wrapping tightly around jeno’s neck.
“woah,” he stumbles back, ultimately steadying himself before slowly running a hand down your back. “hey,” he murmurs softly next to your ear, “it’s okay.” his palm continues moving over you as a way of solace, gently pushing the door shut behind you simultaneously.
you didn’t notice how quick he was to offer comfort; not even knowing what ‘it’ was before telling you that it was alright.
you stay wrapped around jeno for what you wished was eternity, but more so like a few minutes. him staying completely silent as you inhaled deep breath after another, attempting to gain composure back.
jeno finally decides to break the silence, “wanna talk about it?”
“no,” you’re quick with your response, though your voice is slightly wavering.
“okay,” jeno faintly whispers, so quiet that you barely hear him.
you unravel your arms around him, pulling yourself away to look him in his eyes. your faces inches apart, “i just need you.”
jeno flickers between your eyes. he presses a delicate kiss onto your lips before taking in a deep breath, “i’m here.”
the ever-so-familiar all-consuming urge takes over you as you crash your lips onto his, breathing him in like he’s the very oxygen you rely on.
as if by habit, jeno immediately reciprocates. his hands positioned over the small of your back, supporting you as you lean back from the sheer force of jeno kissing you back.
the way you take each other in it’s like you haven’t seen him in years. a certain desperation tasting sweet on your lips as jeno presses himself firmly against you.
he hums into your lips before pulling away to catch his breath.
your thumb rests in the place between his ear and jawline, pulling his face closer until your foreheads meet.
through a shaky breath, you whisper, “i want you.”
“i can give you that,” jeno hauls you up into his arms with ease, like all the other times before this. gently pecking your lips as he carries you into his bedroom.
the room is lit only by the warm orange lamp in the corner. his bedsheets a faded black.
jeno reaches the end of his bed, dropping you onto the soft mattress and towering over your body.
he doesn’t say anything, instead letting his eyes tell you everything he’s thinking. they roam all over you, until his gaze finally fixes onto your face.
his breath hitches before he evens it out again. crawling over your body, you can see the muscles in his arms stretch and pull as he moves, caging you inside of him.
he leans down towards you, attaching his lips to your neck. rather than his usual penchant to suck on your skin as hard as he can so as to leave marks all over you, his lips are soft and fleeting against your neck—leaving a fluttering trail of kisses all the way to your collarbone.
you arch your back into the warmth of his lips.
jeno mumbles against your skin, “tell me what you want.” his breath fanning onto your chest.
your fingers lay flat on the planes of his face, the side of your thumb brushing over the corner of his mouth. jeno leans into your touch, tilting his head upwards to look at you.
you meet his gaze, both equally dark and lustful.
“i need you…”
there’s a second part to that sentence that you didn’t voice, but you’re sure jeno can fill in the blanks for himself.
on any other given night, jeno would’ve asked you to finish that statement. but not tonight.
his fingers hook into the hem of your shirt, quickly lifting it up and over you as if it’s the easiest thing to do in the world. he tosses the shirt over his shoulder somewhere—you don’t pay attention. immediately, he continues his trail of kisses down onto your chest, over your heartbeat.
his kisses get sloppier by the second, hands tugging at your waist like you can get any closer physically than you already are.
you can’t help the moans that rasp from the back of your throat as his hands make their way up your torso. the warmth of his palm covering the soft flesh of your chest as he hooks a finger into your bra strap.
he pulls his lips away from you, levelling his face with yours again.
jeno runs a hand down your hair, cupping his fingers over your cheek, “you’re so pretty tonight.” his voice coming out as a low, gravelly whisper.
you try to ignore the skip in your chest from that.
technically, he’s not breaking any rules, or rule. the rule being strictly no pet names. jeno thought it strange when you proposed that no matter what, no pet names are allowed to be used, but nonetheless, he went along with it.
“only tonight?” your eyebrows quirk upwards; not passing up on the opportunity he set up perfectly for you.
he subtly rolls his eyes, taking away his hand and planting it firmly into the mattress next to your head. jeno lets silence fill the next two moments, staring at you with an expression you haven’t seen from him before. much more serious than all the other ones you know.
“you’re always pretty. you know that.”
his words knock you speechless, staring at him half-blank and half-stunned as to how you should even respond to that.
you land a soft blow to his chest, “what is wrong with you?” you tease with the slightest hint of a nervous smile on your lips, trying to cut through the tension you’re feeling all over. “i came to get fucked, not… whatever this is.”
“oh, god forbid i be nice for once,” he sighs, causing you to slap your hand onto his chest once again—him chuckling lightly as a result. “who said i wasn’t gonna fuck you as well?”
he presses a faint kiss just off of your lips before moving down to work the buttons on your trousers.
his fingers tug impatiently at the waistband once the button is undone, pulling the fabric off of you. the cool air blankets your bare thighs, and the feeling is quickly replaced by jeno’s hand kneading your muscles underneath his fingers.
"you want to feel good?" jeno kisses your inner thigh, a heat sparking from where his lips touched your skin. "i'll make my pretty girl feel good."
he pushes the elastic band of his pajama pants down, revealing his lower stomach lined with hard packs of muscle.
jeno kneels in between your legs, hand wrapping around the base of his dick—slowly hardening as he pumps his hand up and down his length.
you watch him, flitting between his hand and his expression. jeno sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. just the sight of his cock in his palm is making your hunger pool in between your legs, knees pressing together as you feel the pressure build.
you don't notice jeno watching you as carefully as you were him until he lets a chuckle fall from his lips. "you do need to get fucked, don't you?" he teases with a smile.
your teeth has been sinking down into your bottom lip even without you knowing. growing desperate just at the sight of him kneeling over you.
"so, are you gonna do it or not?" the restlessness ringing in your voice. you feign reaching for your pants slid halfway down your legs, "'cause i can go find someone who—"
"no, no," jeno grasps the wrist that you reached down with, pulling it back up and pinning it to the pillow over your head. "you're staying right here."
he takes your other hand, joining it with the one above your head. though only one of his hands are holding your wrists together, his grip is so tight that you don't think you can break free even if you wanted to.
he leans in, caressing your cheek with his thumb—so close that you can see each individual eyelash lining the edge of his eyelids. "and who can fuck you the way i do?" his eyes travel to your cheekbones, brushing over it with his fingers, "hm?"
"that's a bit cocky, don't you think?" you say, tilting your head to the side and dropping your gaze onto his lips.
his rosy pink lips curve into a cresent shape. "just asking a question, pretty girl."
you're starting to think jeno may be teetering on the borderline of your rule, but you don't bring it up.
"so?" jeno widens his eyes at you slightly, and you meet him with a mirrored expression.
"what?"
"you haven't given me a name."
truth is, you haven't slept with other people since you started sleeping with jeno. and it's not like you're going to anytime soon. even if you did, you know they simply don't compare.
and the worst thing is you know he knows this, too.
"you're so annoying," you want to nudge him away, but he's got your hands trapped.
jeno only smiles an innocent smile, amused at the sight of you writhing to break away under him to no avail. "i'm not going to do anything to you until you answer the question."
you stare into his eyes, and you’re sure he can see the frustration evident in your own.
“really?” is the only response you can give, dipping your chin and cocking your eyebrows up. the tone of your voice telling of your annoyance.
jeno nods, still with that smile on his face—not giving you anything more.
you roll your eyes.
“no one,” your voice low, almost on the edge of being sheepish.
“sorry, what was that?” he tilts his head, turning his ear towards you.
he’s having way too much fun teasing you like this.
you let out a groan. “fuck you,” you spit bitterly, your voice back up to a normal volume.
he chuckles lightly, “you’d love that, wouldn’t you?”
before you can even think of a witty response to his comment, you feel the friction of him dragging the tip of his cock over your clothed cunt.
“it’d be so easy to just put it in,” his fingers slipping into your underwear, “when you’re this wet.”
he pulls his fingers away, leaning into your face once again. “come on, pretty girl,” he brings his hand up to your lips, pushing them through and letting you suck on it, tasting yourself on his fingers. “tell me who can fuck you better than i can.”
he slides his fingers out, dragging along your lips before completing removing them.
“no one,” you mutter, trying to hide the desperation in you with a breath.
he smirks, “good girl.”
he looks down, bunching the fabric of your underwear to one side before grabbing the base of his cock and lining it up with your entrance.
you’re seeing a side to jeno that you haven’t seen before. usually, sex between you was a quick release. half the time it’s like he’s rushing to get through it with how hard and fast he’s pounding himself into you.
but slowly he pushes himself in you—being gentle with you, almost. moans erupting from his throat before he finally fills you up, as evidenced by the outline of his cock bulging up out of your stomach. the sight of it drives jeno fucking crazy—which is why he always fucks you like a dog in heat.
tonight, though, he’s determined to set a different pace.
his hips stills as your pussy swallows the entire length of his dick. no matter how many times you do it, it’s never something you can fully get used to. your back already arched into him, nails digging into your own palms.
“you always feel so fucking good,” jeno rasps, letting go of his grasp on your wrists and placing it on your waist instead.
he pulls his hips back at a steady pace. you feel every inch of it as it drags against your walls.
with your arms freed, you quickly wrap them around jeno’s neck.
he thrusts into you again, hips stuttering as he lets out a breathy moan. his head falls into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning over your skin.
you hold back a cry as he bottoms out, fingers holding furiously onto his shoulders.
jeno builds a steady rhythm, sliding his cock in and out of you—following each thrust with a grunt.
“fuck, jeno,” you whine, thighs clamping tight around him.
he groans, his entire body responding viscerally to his name falling from your lips. and he can’t hold back anymore.
his hips picking up speed as he pounds himself deeper and deeper into you. fingers gripping tighter on your waist and pushing you down on his dick, meeting his thrusts halfway.
he unravels one of your arms from around his neck, laying it out over your head.
“fuck,” jeno lifts his head, leaving your faces mere inches apart. he spreads open your palm, threading his fingers through yours and holding your hand tightly as he keeps up the pace of his thrusts.
your bottom lip is pulled back by your teeth, trying to contain the whimpers and cries that are threatening to escape. you feel the pressure within you building, and creeping dangerously close to its release.
jeno lets out a string of curses, feeling you starting to tighten around him. “baby, i’m gonna—”
with a sudden choke of his words, jeno pulls out. his cock twitching violently as his cum shoots out from his tip, painting your stomach in streaks of white.
the sudden halt of friction leaves your body aching, desperate for sensation again.
your breathing begins to slow as you watch jeno throw his head back, cock still throbbing. looking down, you can see the ribbons of his cum covering your entire torso.
jeno drops his head, seeing the mess he made all over you.
“i’m sorry,” he pants, “i swear to god, you…”
you watch the bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face for a moment.
“‘baby?’” your voice taking on a questioning tone, ignoring your body’s pleading for attention.
“it just came over me, i know—” he breathes heavily, giving your hand a squeeze. “i know you don’t like it.”
“then, why’d you say it?” you sounding more defensive than offensive, surprising even yourself when your voice rings in your ear.
“i don’t know, i—” jeno untangles his hand from yours, pushing his hair back from sticking onto his face. “yn, are we really gonna do this?”
“you broke the rule.”
the bluntness of your statement forces jeno to look you in the eyes.
in all honesty, you’re not upset at this. but just the principle of him breaking the rule makes it appear like you are.
“you have to know,” jeno simply mutters.
“know what?”
“god, yn,” he shuts his eyes, turning his face away from yours for a brief moment. “you think i fuck everyone like this?”
he continues when you don’t respond—how could you even respond?
“you think i even fuck anyone who’s not you?”
jeno’s chest swells as he speaks. he pushes a strand of your hair back, tucking it behind your ear. “i wasn’t being mean earlier when i asked you that question, i—i wanted to know.”
you bite down hard on your lip.
the feeling of not knowing what to say has never settled well within you.
“jeno, i thought we—”
“i know what we agreed on,” jeno cuts you off. “and i’m sorry i crossed that line. you don’t have to—”
“i like you.”
your voice cuts through his. his eyes fixed on yours as he takes in what he just heard.
“what?” jeno’s voice is weak, his face telling of him being caught off guard.
you cup his cheek in your palm, thumb lightly grazing over his cheekbone, “i like you.”
“i thought—”
you press your lips firmly onto his, breaking off the rest of his words. when you pull away, jeno chases after your lips with his own, kissing you like his very life depended on it.
“fuck,” he mumbles against you, letting out a soft chuckle. “you like me.”
you hum as he pulls back, lips glossy under the dim lighting.
“are you saying this is one-sided?” you rib.
a small smirk turns up the corner of jeno’s lips. “you haven’t cum, yet, have you?”
the sudden turn in topic draws your eyebrows together.
jeno moves lower down your body, hands running down the sides of it, until his mouth is hovering over your bare cunt.
“i guess i should show my pretty baby just how much i like her.”
557 notes · View notes
happy74827 · 2 months
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Ice Breaker
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[Logan Howlett x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: You start to see your acquaintance/friend in a new light after saving your life.
WC: 6994 (oh, jeez)
Category: Fluff, Eventual Smut (lmfao), Lime/Spice, Slow Burn(ish), {TW: Drowning, Improper Use of Claws (Kinda a joke, kinda not… it’s hinted in the very beginning), P With P, Slight OOC? MDNI!!}
Why am I petrified to post this?? Literally shaking.
So, uh, please be nice to me 😭🫶 Smut is NOT my strong suit. This is like my 3rd attempt at it and the first time I’m posting it. Kinda scary. But I wanted to be that person who wrote all genres (dunno why), so here’s a fic containing mostly all genres? I guess?
@yoursacredqueenmother helped with some parts (mostly the ending) and my confidence so shout out to my queen!! Love you girlie 💞
『••✎••』
Warmth and pain. It’s all you felt. Your lungs were aching, begging for the oxygen that the cold water was denying you. Your vision blurred as your body screamed for air. The feeling of a strong pair of arms wrapped around you, pulling you out of the depths and into a blinding light. You felt the air hit your face as you were laid onto solid ground, a large hand pushing on your chest.
Suddenly, you felt the pressure of a mouth being pressed against yours, and it took a moment before your mind registered what was happening.
It was then a sound of a gasp and a deep, throaty growl sounded from above you, and the warm, comforting weight of the hand was suddenly gone. Only replaced by a sound that resembled a sword being drawn from a sheath.
And then, pain once more. You felt something lodge into the airway, and your body was instantly set into a frenzy, attempting to rid itself of the object. In an instant, the sound similar to a sword repeated itself, replaced only by the feeling of being turned onto your side. Your body began to convulse as a mix of the icy lake water, and your stomach acid spewed from your throat.
When your body finally stilled, your eyes fluttered open to reveal a blurry vision; you began to hear things more clearly. Muffles turned into a voice, which turned into words.
"Shit… Fucking shit," Deep and gruff, almost a growl. You remembered that voice. You knew that voice. "Jesus, you’re ice cold. Fuck!"
The sound of a zipper was heard, and before you knew it, a weight was placed over you, and you were off the ground and in the air.
That’s when you peered up and saw him. The very same man who claimed he was far from a hero. He was carrying you with his arm under your knees and the other supporting your back. He was constantly flickering his gaze to look down at you while you did nothing but stare back.
It was after a moment that your senses were coming back to you, and you began to notice things more clearly.
His jaw was clenched tight, and the look in his eyes was one of concern. You didn't know if it was your imagination, but it looked like there was a tint of red around his iris, which was now a piercing hazel color. The muscles of his face were taut and strained. The furrow of his brow gave him a look of worry while the twitch of his lips hinted at annoyance.
"Lo…" You didn’t realize the impact the water and the ice had had on you until you tried to speak, the sound coming out weak and broken. His gaze flicked back to you, and the red ring around his eyes was gone.
"It’s alright. It’s… You’re gonna…" The cold air hit his face as he opened his mouth, causing his breath to turn into fog. "You’re gonna be fine, Sweetheart. We’re gonna get you somewhere warm, alright?"
You couldn't help but shiver at the term of endearment and nodded in response, knowing that any attempt to speak would probably just come out in a croak.
You didn’t remember much after that, only bits and pieces. You remember the sudden quietness as he ripped open the door of his truck and settled you down on the passenger seat. You remember him securing his jacket around your body, his hands lingering a bit too long on your shoulders.
You also remembered the absolute mental breakdown he had when his truck wouldn’t start.
He had slammed his fist into the dashboard, the impact leaving a dent in the metal, while a loud pang signified the adamantium bones beneath. He was muttering curse after curse and had his head leaned back against the headrest, eyes screwed shut, and a look of frustration and pain upon his face.
It was only when he slammed his head into the steering wheel, clearly aggravated by the failure of his truck, did the it finally decide to work.
You don’t remember the drive, only that the heat was cranked up to its maximum, and he was speeding, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight and his knuckles turning white.
But you remember the look he gave you when he lifted you from the truck, carrying you into some off-the-road motel. For a while, you thought he actually broke into it, but he paid during your trip, both in and out of consciousness.
And now, here you were, completely swaddled in a mass of blankets, in front of a fire that Logan had made as he was pacing the room. His brows were furrowed, and he had his fingers running through his hair in an almost desperate manner. He looked stressed and maybe even a little scared.
Your mind was still foggy, and a wave of pain shot through your head. A wince escaped your lips, and you instantly regretted the noise as Logan snapped his head to you, his eyes wide and his lips parted. He strode over to you, squatting down to your eye level.
"How do ya feel?" He asked, his voice softer than usual.
"F-Freezing," you whispered, your teeth clacking together. Logan looked around frantically, unsure of what to do.
"There’s no fucking hot water in this place," he muttered to himself. "What a shit hole. Fucking cheap bastards. Shit." He continued to ramble, cursing up a storm.
"Logan," you managed to breathe out, your hand reaching out from under the covers and grabbing his bicep. The man was tense as hell. "I-It's fine."
His eyes widened a fraction at your touch before narrowing in frustration.
"It ain't fine," he said, his tone rough. "You’re freezing to the point where yer shaking like a goddamn leaf. How is that fine?"
Your brows furrowed as you tried to sit up, his arms reaching out to push you back down, but you shrugged him off.
"Logan, I'm not… I’m not dying."
He stared at you for a moment, the crease between his brows becoming more pronounced before he shook his head, the muscles of his face twitching in annoyance.
"That ain't the fucking point."
"Then what is the… the point?"
He stood up, beginning to pace again. You watched him carefully as he rubbed a hand over his face, mumbling and cursing to himself. You could feel the frustration practically radiating off him.
You were going to ask him what was wrong, what was the problem, why he was acting so strangely, when his gaze met yours and your breath hitched in your throat.
He looked so… different. You were used to his scowl and his hard features. Quite honestly, his personality was trash mixed with an added dash of salt. But now, even though he held those same hard features, your eyes took it in a whole new way.
His scowl made him seem protective and concerned. His furrowed brow seemed almost endearing, and his clenched jaw gave him a sense of determination.
It made you want to think back on the way he held you and how his arms were secured around you, making you feel all kinds of—
Warmth…
The idea that made you jolt forward, almost falling off the bed.
"Shit!" Logan was at your side in an instant, his arm reaching out and supporting you. "Are ya tryna kill yourself? Lie back down."
"No," you shook your head. "You."
He frowned. "What?"
"You," you repeated, a small smile stretching across your lips. "I need… You."
He stared at you for a moment, his face dropping into a look of confusion. It would’ve been funny if you didn't feel so damn cold.
"Me?"
"Yeah… I n-need heat," another shiver went through you. "And you’re like a furnace. An overheated dog."
"Like a what?" He narrowed his eyes.
"A… just— I'm cold, Logan." You were starting to get tired. "Please."
He blinked at you. Then, he looked at the ground, then at the bed. He was silent for a moment, and you were afraid he wouldn’t do it. But then, his hands were finding the hem of his shirt and lifting it up over his head.
It wasn’t a big deal. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. So, why did you suddenly feel a heat spreading in the pit of your stomach despite him not even touching you yet? Why were your eyes suddenly wide and focused? Why were your lips parting and your mouth becoming dry?
There was just a perfect amount of hair trailing down from his belly button and leading down into the waistband of his jeans. It was almost like a treasure trail but thicker. His muscles were so well defined, their cords protruding from the skin, and he was flexing and twitching as he moved. His stomach was taut, and his hips were slightly visible. His chest was broad, pecs perfectly formed, and the lines between them were the most appealing things you had ever seen.
And right in the center was the all too familiar chain, with the dog tags dangling down, resting just over his sternum.
You couldn’t help but swallow thickly, a strange and unfamiliar heat washing over you. You didn’t really realize how long you were staring until he spoke.
"A lot of girls would pay good money for the view you're getting," he smirked, and the heat in your stomach only got hotter.
You averted your gaze and coughed into your fist. "Sh-Shut up," you mumbled, pulling the blankets back and slipping under the covers.
Logan sighed as he moved the blankets away from your goosebump-covered skin and settled himself in next to you.
Instantaneously, you sighed as the heat emitting from his body enveloped you while he tensed at the contact.
"Shit, you really are freezing," he grumbled.
You couldn't help the slight moan that came from you as his warm arms wrapped around your waist, his chest pressing flush against your back, and his breath ghosting the back of your neck.
You could sleep like this. In fact, you probably would because you were so tired. Your eyelids felt heavy, and the feeling of his warmth made you feel safe.
For a moment, the only noise that was heard was the crackling of the fire, both your panting breath and his, and the sound his throat was making as he swallowed.
"I, uh," his voice was lower and a lot deeper than before. It seemed to rumble through him and into your back. "I thought ya died. When I found you, I thought you were dead."
Your heart skipped a beat, and your mouth went dry. Damn, already with the emotions.
"Well, I'm not," you told him, your voice a lot softer than his. "I'm fine. I’m okay."
You felt him nod against your shoulder. "Right."
And you knew, deep down, that he was lying.
Logan was never a good liar. You knew it from the moment he stepped foot into the mansion. And this, his actions, was living proof of what a horrible liar he was.
"Logan?"
He grunted. "Hmm?"
"Why did you do it?"
You could feel the way his eyebrow quirked in confusion. "Why did I do what?"
"Follow me, and save me," you stated simply. "You had no reason to."
He was silent for a moment. "And, what? I was supposed to leave you there to die?"
"Yes."
"That ain't—"
"But it is, Logan," you said, and he was quiet once more. "You said it yourself. You aren’t a hero. So why did you save me?"
You always knew the answer. But even if you were currently freezing, you wanted to hear it come from him. It was tiringof hearing the same phrase over and over.
And clearly, you poked a nerve because in an instant, his arms were off of you, and you were being flipped over, with all the blankets thrown to the floor, only to find yourself face to face with Logan.
"Is this you pulling my teeth?" He growled, a look of anger on his face. "It sure as hell ain’t a damn good time."
You couldn’t stop the way your eyes kept flickering down his chest, his pectorals tensing as he breathed.
"You say you aren’t, but you are," you told him, not even listening to him. You were too focused on the way the flames of the fire danced along his skin. "Heroes save people. You saved me."
"This isn’t about heroism." He seethed, and the anger was evident. "It’s about you being a stubborn ass and getting yourself in a damn dangerous situation."
"Dangerous situation?" Now it was your turn to get angry. "Are you serious? Are you actually serious?"
"Who the hell just storms off to go frolicking around on top of a goddamn lake? What the fuck were ya thinking?"
"It’s called ice skating, you stupid bastard," you snapped, feeling your body returning back to a chill due to his absence. "I didn't expect it to break, and I didn’t expect to f-fall through. I don’t have f-fucking x-ray vision."
"Any person with half a brain could see how thin the ice was," he spat. "I mean, look at you! Ya, look like a goddamn popsicle."
"I was trying to enjoy myself, Logan. Something you wouldn't know anything about."
"Enjoy yourself?" He barked out a laugh. "You could've fucking died. That isn't enjoying yourself, Icypop, that's being fucking stupid."
"Don’t call me that."
"You are fucking stupid," he hissed. "Do you know what that would've done? Do ya know what it would've done to—"
"Logan," you snapped. "You… This… This is proving my point. If you truly weren’t a hero, you wouldn’t have cared. You would have let me drown and gone on your merry way."
"Anyone would have cared."
"Not anyone," you retorted, "Not everyone."
"You just think that because it's what you want to think."
"No, it's the truth."
"No, it isn’t."
"You saved me, Logan," you whispered, your eyes finding his, which were still burning with anger. "Get it through your head, you idiot. You saved me. I wasn’t even aware you had followed me, but you c-cared enough to keep me from dying. You aren’t a bad guy, Logan; stop trying to convince yourself you are. Because, clearly, you aren’t."
The two of you were staring at each other, neither of you speaking a word. Your breaths were coming out in puffs of air, while his were heavy and almost raspy. The look on his face was intense, and he was practically trembling with anger.
You couldn't tell what was running through his mind, but you had a feeling it was along the lines of, "I'm not a fucking hero. Shut the hell up," or, "Just let me believe what I want to believe."
You didn't know which one it was, but either way, it would be pointless to argue with him.
He would always try to convince himself that he wasn’t a good person. He would try to convince himself that he wasn’t meant for such things.
Even with proving the opposite in so many situations, he still would never take the hint.
And now, with the way he was looking at you, the two of you breathing in the same air, the heat of his body surrounding you, your eyes trying to forget his state of undress, it was hard not to argue.
You didn't mean to do it, but your hand lifted up, and your fingers grazed the chain of his dog tags, sending a shiver through his body.
You couldn’t help but let your eyes flicker down, taking him in for a second time, your eyes trailing down his chest and his abs before finding the patch of hair leading into his—
You swallowed thickly before meeting his gaze again. His eyes were dark, and his pupils dilated. The way his chest was rising and falling, and his jaw was clenching made it obvious he was trying to control himself.
Caught, you quickly dropped your hand and averted your eyes. You didn’t want him to see the effect his body had on you, even if you had no control over it.
"I'm not a hero," he finally whispered, and it wasn’t his words that surprised you, but his voice.
His voice was deep and raspy, and you couldn't stop the way the heat was pooling in the pit of your stomach or the way a strange feeling was taking over your mind. "But, I do care. A hell of a lot."
"Lo—"
"Don’t call me a hero for caring," his arms wrapped around you and pulled you closer to his body. "I care too much for worthless shit like that."
Your throat went dry. He was so warm, so very warm.
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against yours. Your breathing quickened, your heartbeat hammering in your chest. Not a single coherent thought came to your mind. All you could think about was the way his breaths lined up with yours. The way his skin was brushing against yours. How he smelled so very distinctly Logan, and the way his lips looked so very inviting.
It was taken too far when your tongue slipped out and wetted your own lips, and Logan's eyes darted to the movement.
He stared for the longest time, seemingly frozen, his chest rising and falling heavily, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. He pulled away only an inch or two, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips.
What was he thinking? What was going through his head? You wanted to ask, but you were afraid to break the silence. Afraid to say something and make him come to his senses.
So, instead, you watched his face carefully, the way his lips parted, and his pupils dilated before his eyes found yours once more. Reading him was hard, but this… this was an expression you had seen before.
It was when Jean was flirting with Scott. The way she would lean close and give him that smile, and the way his cheeks would heat, and his eyes would dart down to her lips, then back up.
This was attraction.
And it was an expression you didn't think you would see on Logan. Not for you, at least.
You were one of his close friends, but did you play nice with each other? No. Did you get along? Yes, but those rare arguments the two of you had were heated, and sometimes they didn't make sense.
Did you tease him and mess with him? Definitely.
But never did you think that would lead to this.
Logan was attractive. He was built and tall, and he was very muscular. The definition of a man. His rough, hard features only made him more desirable. And his short temper and bad attitude just drew women to him like flies. They tend to lean towards the bad boys.
You didn’t. You picked the nice ones. The kind ones. The ones who wouldn’t hurt a fly.
You had been with a couple of guys since coming to Xavier's, and all of them had been so nice and so polite, but you did come to the conclusion that they were rather boring.
You couldn't remember the last time you were flustered by a man, or the last time your heart pounded so quickly, or the last time your breath caught in your throat.
But here was Logan, suddenly giving you those feelings and making your stomach do flips. The man who pretended to be the opposite of everything you wanted in a partner was the only one making your heart race.
You didn't know if that was good or bad.
This feeling, though, felt good. Felt so very good.
The way his arm was around your waist, his hand gripping your side, his body flush against yours, his lips just inches from your own, felt too good.
The heat from his skin felt good. The feeling of his warm breath was good. His scent was good. Everything was so, very good.
You were tired, and your eyelids felt heavy. The way your limbs felt like lead and how cold you felt was getting to you. You could feel your body starting to relax.
The only thing keeping you awake was Logan.
He was still so close, and his grip hadn’t loosened. But you couldn't help it when your eyelids started to slip closed, and your body went slack against him.
Logan's grip on you tightened, his arms holding your body tighter, his breath catching, before you felt the softest of touches on your forehead.
Kisses… Kisses were being peppered across your forehead, and it made you shiver.
His lips were so soft. His kisses were so gentle. It was so different from the hard exterior he held. It was like he was a completely different person.
So, you looked up and found yourself nose-to-nose with Logan. His eyes were staring right back into yours, and there was a soft look to his features.
The hand on your waist moved and cupped your cheek, his thumb stroking the skin there.
"You need sleep," his voice was low and raspy. He was whispering as if speaking any louder would break the moment.
"That’s not what I need," you replied just as quietly, not breaking eye contact.
His brow furrowed. "What do ya need, darlin'?"
Words were hard to find and hard to put into sentences. You could’ve said a lot of things. Food, a shower, more blankets, a cup of tea, but the truth was, none of those things would satisfy you.
And the longer Logan's eyes were locked with yours, the more assured you were that what you needed wasn't any of those things.
So, instead of words, you moved your hand to gently grasp the chain of his dog tags. It held the same warmth that was emitting from his skin.
You didn’t know if he knew what you meant or if he understood what you were trying to say.
But the look in his eyes and the way his grip tightened gave you the feeling that he did.
It was silent, and tense. But, it was comfortable, and so, very nice.
You didn’t know if you had the strength to lift your body and kiss him. Or if he had the willpower to.
However, you didn’t need to make the decision. Because when he lifted your hair out of the way and buried his nose into the crook of your neck, his lips just barely hovering over your pulse, you were certain.
So, you did what any other girl would do in that situation.
Your hand tangled itself in his hair, and you pushed his face closer to your neck.
There was a growl, a deep, animalistic growl. One that shook your core from the heat in his voice, and the sound was almost enough to make you moan.
But you were surprised by the feeling of his lips pressing against your neck. You’d imagined with the way he was built, and with his personality, it would be rough and fast. But the way his lips gently caressed your neck, and the way his hands roamed your body made it seem like he wanted to take his time.
His mouth started trailing open-mouthed kisses along the expanse of your neck, his hot breath sending good shivers through your body. He sucked and nibbled, making you shiver, and the way his hand moved to caress your waist was gentle.
It was so unexpected, but it was so very welcome.
His lips traveled up your neck until they were just behind your ear, where he placed a small kiss before nuzzling his nose into your hair.
"Warm enough?"
It was the first thing he had said since your neck began being attacked, and it wasn’t a question that had an answer.
Because, while you were indeed warm, the way his hands were roaming your body and the way his lips were on you was causing an entirely different kind of heat.
And it was obvious that he was trying to get his point across. The way his hips were pressed against yours, and the way his arms were wrapped tightly around you was definitely not helping.
You knew he could smell it, your arousal. And he could most likely hear your racing heartbeat and feel the way your body trembled.
He was waiting for an answer. He wanted an answer.
"Logan," you breathed, your eyes slipping shut and your hands finding his chest. His skin was hot under your touch, and you couldn't help the way you trailed your fingers down his pecs and his abs.
He shook a bit, clearly still not used to your freezing touch, but his grip on you didn't loosen, and neither did the way his body was pressed against yours.
He was hard. Everywhere. His arms were strong, his chest was defined, and his legs were muscular. He was a brick wall, and you couldn't help but admire it.
You couldn't believe how attractive the man was.
Logan Howlett. The guy who was an asshole. The guy who would kill a man with his bare hands. The guy who was working on his temper. The guy who would accidentally pick a fight at the drop of a hat.
The guy who just saved you. The guy who cared about you.
Your hand slid down his stomach, and his muscles contracted under your touch. You were getting closer and closer until you hit the brown border that held up his jeans.
Your hand didn’t stay for long because a hand greeted you, wrapping around your wrist and stopping your movement.
Logan lifted his head from the crook of your neck, and his dark eyes stared into yours. There was a warning in his gaze, and his jaw was clenched tightly.
"Stop," his voice was low and raspy.
Your eyes searched his face, but there was nothing there. No emotion. Just a blank stare. "Why?"
"Don't."
You ignored him and tried to move your hand, but he tightened his grip, making it so you couldn’t move it.
"Logan," you whispered.
"I said stop."
You looked into his eyes and noticed something. His eyes were darker, his pupils were blown, and the look in his gaze was intense.
And it finally clicked.
He was turned on, and he was trying to keep himself in control.
And, you thought about it. If Logan were to lose control, what would happen? What would happen if the man who could slice a man open with his bare hand was in a situation like this, with his hormones raging and his self-control fading?
You didn't think much of it, but when the thought crossed your mind, a rush of arousal surged through you.
You wanted him. You wanted Logan Howlett. And it was a surprise.
He was going to say another word, but your lips captured him, and the hand on your wrist immediately released you.
It was like a switch was flipped. Logan growled into the kiss as you tugged him closer by his hair. The kiss was passionate, and the way his hand slipped under the damp shirt you were wearing was almost too much.
While his one hand was under your shirt, the other was against the bedsheet, his body leaning over you. He was hovering, but his lips never left yours.
Your shirt was gone in an instant, ripped from your body, and tossed to the floor. He paid no mind to the fact that he had ruined a perfectly good shirt, and the only thing he cared about was your bare skin.
Your lips parted, and his tongue darted into your mouth, tasting you. You could hardly keep up, his tongue dominating your mouth and his hands roaming your body.
"Lo," you managed to moan against his lips before his mouth was on yours again.
He didn't reply, but the way his fingers were trailing over the skin of your thighs was answer enough.
It was getting hot, too hot, and Logan knew that.
He pulled away from the kiss, and the string of saliva that connected the two of you broke and landed on your chest. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were dark.
Your hair was messy, and you were still wet. Your body was shaking, and goosebumps were littering your skin.
You were looking up at him, your eyes searching his face. Your cheeks were flushed, and your chest was rising and falling quickly.
He was staring at your lips, and the way they were swollen from the kiss, and his hands were trailing along the expanse of your stomach, before moving back down to the hem of your jeans.
Logan had undone them, and his fingers were playing with the band.
Your eyes didn't leave his face, but you were surprised when he lifted his eyes to meet yours.
He was waiting for something, and when you nodded, the next thing you knew, your pants were gone. The only thing that remained was his jacket, which you still had on from your lake experience.
It felt like a distant memory, one that was fuzzy and far off. It's odd how something as traumatic and horrifying as nearly dying could turn into something as heated and intimate as this.
Logan was watching your face carefully, his hand resting on your thigh, and his eyes were searching your expression. He was waiting for any indication of doubt.
The only thing indicated was desire.
He seemed satisfied with your reaction, and his hand slowly moved further and further up your thigh before the tips of his fingers reached the fabric of your panties.
His thumb was hooked under the band, and he pulled the black fabric aside, moving his other hand to unbutton his jeans.
He pulled the zipper down, and his hand slid into his boxers.
His head fell back with a sigh, his eyes closing as his hand moved along his length.
You watched, entranced, as he pleasured himself. You didn't realize you were biting your lip until his eyes were on yours, his eyebrows furrowed, and his breaths were shaky.
He let go of himself and leaned forward, his forehead pressing against yours, as he struggled to hold himself together.
He was still waiting, and you couldn't figure out why. Why was he hesitating? Wasn't it obvious that you wanted him?
"Okay, Cowardly Lion, you can do this."
His head tilted to the side, and his nose bumped against yours. His breath fanned over your face, and his hand was gripping the side of the bed.
"Don’t call me that," his voice was gruff.
You grinned and moved your hand to the back of his neck, holding him in place. "Cowardly. Lion."
Logan growled, and you couldn't help the shiver that ran through your body. It wasn't scary. Not even close. It was hot and sexy, and it made you want him even more.
He was hovering over you, and his hand was on the side of the bed, his knuckles clenching the sheets. For a second, you believed he’d let his claws out and slice right through the mattress.
But again, only for a second.
He was watching you, his gaze locked on your face. He was staring, and his eyes were dark, and the way he was looking at you was intense.
You didn't say anything.
So, his hand moved.
And his fingers hooked under the band of your underwear, and he slowly, oh, so, slowly, pulled the fabric down.
He tossed the garment somewhere in the room, and his eyes trailed over your body.
He was staring at you, admiring your body, and the way the moonlight shone through the window made it all the better.
Your legs were spread, and you were completely naked. The only thing that was covering you was his leather jacket.
Logan's eyes moved back up your body, and he swallowed. "You’re pretty great when you’re wet."
A smirk made its way onto your lips, and you couldn't help the giggle that escaped you. "You should see me after I get out of the shower."
He growled, and the hand that was next to your head came up and grasped your chin, tilting your head back, and his mouth was on yours in an instant.
The kiss was heated, and it was a shock. Not a surprise, though. This was the original thought that went through your head. The way his hands were rough and the way his grip was tight.
This is how you expected him to be. Rough and fast. But this was not that.
This was so much better.
Your teeth clashed, and his tongue fought with yours, his body pushing you further into the bed.
You gasped into his mouth as his hand traveled back down to stroke himself a few more times before he was just outside your entrance.
You couldn't stop the whine that escaped you as his tip nudged against your core before his length started to push in.
His eyes slipped shut, and his hands caught him from falling. The bed creaked, and you could feel him trembling as he took a moment to collect himself.
When he had, there were only two things on your mind as the jolt of pain mixed with pleasure hit you.
One, you couldn't believe Logan had been holding out on you. This was amazing, and you could see yourself getting addicted to the way he made you feel.
And two, it was the way he had his jaw clenched, the way he was breathing, his hips pressed flush against yours, and the way his muscles were flexing.
He looked so good, and it was hard to focus on the fact that he was actually inside of you. His cigarette-stained breath fanned over your face, the way every time he moved slightly faster, he became more vulnerable and less guarded, the back of the throaty moans he made, the way his lips were swollen from the kissing and the biting.
All of it was a big turn-on.
His hands were gripping the bed, and his dog tags were bouncing off of his chest, hitting your skin with a cold metallic sound.
The way his hair hung in his face, and the way his eyes were dark, made him look incredibly sexy.
"Lo," you whimpered, and your nails scraped his shoulders, leaving red lines in their wake.
Of course, by the time he had reacted to the slight pain, they were already gone.
He leaned down, his arms wrapping around your body, and he held you close. He pressed his lips against your neck and sucked the sensitive skin.
It was quiet, except for the sounds of the bed creaking and the gasps and pants that slipped out every now and then. You weren’t very vocal, but that was only because you were more focused on how it felt.
And it felt so good.
It was a lot more enjoyable when it wasn’t painful, and you were more than happy that the pain had subsided and was now replaced with pure ecstasy.
He was big, bigger than you had originally expected. So, he had taken his time.
Well, not really. He had tried to, at least.
Logan had tried to hold out, but the way you had squeezed him and the way you had whimpered when he was halfway in had caused him to lose his grip on reality.
But he had tried to take his time. And that was what counted.
Your hands tangled in his hair and pulled his head closer, making him moan into your mouth.
He was moving faster, and he was losing his mind. Your lips were swollen, and the way your chest was rising and falling was amazing.
He was holding himself up, his arms flexing as his hips moved against yours, and the sound of your name falling from his lips in such a way was a sound you wanted to hear more often.
He was close. You could tell by the way his thrusts were becoming sloppy and the way he was gasping.
But you were, too.
It was the first time, the only time, you had ever experienced such an intense high. And it was a rush.
Your head fell back, and your fingers tightened in his hair as your orgasm ripped through your body. You were shaking, and your mouth opened in a silent scream as the intensity of it all hit you.
Logan followed soon after, his orgasm hitting him just as hard. His was more brutal towards you, though, as he full-on collapsed into your body, his entire weight pressing into you as he came.
It was an experience you didn't think you would ever forget. Especially when he accidentally unleaded his claws and sliced through the mattress.
"Ah, goddamn it," he sighed and slowly pulled out. He was still on top of you, but he had turned his head to the side to see the damage. "I'm not paying for this."
You were breathing heavily, and your hands were tangled in his hair, your body shaking from the aftershock.
He turned his head to look back at you, and his dark eyes studied your face.
You were a mess. You had bite marks along your neck and chest, your lips were swollen, your cheeks were flushed, and your chest was rising and falling rapidly.
Logan's eyebrows were furrowed, and his lips were parted. The way his hair was a mess, and the fact that his eyes were darker than usual made him look extremely attractive.
You couldn’t help but notice how completely out of breath he was and all the sweat and the heat radiating off his body.
He was hot, literally.
"You, uh," you swallowed and tried to keep your hands steady. "You want to take a dive in the lake?"
It took a few moments, but eventually your question had registered, and you have never heard this man laugh like he had right now. He completely lost it, and he was laughing.
And it was a deep laugh. One that could make someone feel safe. One that could make anyone fall in love with him.
His laughter died down, and he turned to look at you, the smirk still playing on his lips. "I think I'll pass."
"Oh," you breathed and bit your lip. "You don't know what you're missing."
Logan stared at you, and his hand moved from the bed to trail down your stomach. Blood was coating his knuckles from the five-second fight that had taken place when his claws had popped out, but he didn't seem to care.
You were staring at him, and the way his dark eyes were boring into yours was intimidating.
"How about," his hand slid down further, and the tips of his fingers touched your lower abdomen, "I take a dive in the shower with you instead? Can’t drown in the tub."
Your eyebrows were raised, "Am I that fragile that a simple shower will kill me?"
You were obviously joking; that soft banter had been something the two of you had always done, but there was also a hint of curiosity.
He sat up to look at you. His eyes were darker than before, and the way his hands were running along the expanse of your torso was sending shivers down your spine.
"Says the girl who slipped through ice," he leaned down, his arms caging you in, and his forehead was pressed against yours. "You really are—"
Crack.
Call it what you will: fate, destiny, bad timing, but there now, there was no way in hell he’d escape the expensive bill the motel would surely send.
The bed completely gave out.
It had taken a few seconds for it to register, the sudden drop and the loud noise. But, once you had, now it was your turn to laugh.
And boy, did you.
Your laughter filled the room, and your entire body shook. He started to blame it on the production of the bed, of course, but you knew deep down he couldn’t escape the big fat bill the motel owner was going to send.
He even got up to try to find another possible explanation, and as you pulled his jacket closer to cover yourself, you watched him try and fail to find one.
The smile never left your face, and when he turned to look at you, his dark eyes were studying your expression.
"You think this is funny?"
"Very," you grinned and leaned up on your elbows. "How about we go out for dinner tomorrow night, Edward?"
Logan's eyebrow raised, and he stared at you. You could see the visible disappointment on his face, and it was amusing.
"Alright, come on," he took hold of your arms, and pulled you out of the bed, jacket and all.
"Where are we going?" you asked and let him lead you out of the room. "The shower?"
"Yeah," he nodded, and led you into the bathroom, "I think it's time I teach you how to swim."
You grinned, "We have no hot water, remember?"
"Then, I’ll just have to make sure you don't get cold, won’t I?"
643 notes · View notes
bcyhoods · 1 year
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TO BE SAFE. EDDIE MUNSON
synopsis: you ask to sleep over at eddie’s for the first time, and he undoubtedly is head over heels for you
word count: 1.2k
authors notes: somebody requested this before i started my blog over! if this finds u, im sending you a cookie and a kiss, as promised x
warnings: fem!reader, use of gendered pet names (princess, pretty girl), dialogue is…….cheesy cringe a little😔, clueless eddie, kissing !!!
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“Goddamit.”
Eddie hisses beside you at the jumpscare on screen. It was the quietest sound, drowned underneath the blood-curdling screams in the film. It probably would’ve gone completely unnoticed. Unluckily for him, it didn’t. Luckily for you, your legs were draped over his lap, so the mechanical jolt of fright sent your own legs jumping into the air.
His head is thrown against the back of his couch as he slaps his free hand over his eyes. You giggle as you watch his skin flush scarlet underneath your stare.
“Eddie, it’s okay,” you coo, voice shaky in between your laughter.
The embarrassment doesn’t quite subside, but the sound of your infectious giggle and the feeling of you moving into his lap to pry away his fingers is enough to have his chest rumbling with mirrored joy. He gazes up at you as you hold his hands.
“You scared, Eds?”
You don’t mean for it to sound like you’re teasing, but he laughs anyway. With a grin, he shakes his head wildly and clasps his hands around your back.
“Nope, I’ve got a princess to protect me.”
He pushes you down into the couch so that he’s hovering above you, and you respond with a squeal. Your legs are locked around his waist as his hands dig into the plush of the cushion beside your head. He leans down with a proud smile to press a kiss to your mouth.
The kisses are sloppy. He litters your face and neck in open-mouthed love bites, none hard enough to leave any mark. When he reaches your lips, it’s more smiles and spit than any real kiss, but neither of you seem to mind. Not when the smell of his citrusy shampoo wraps around your figure to make you dizzy. Not when your hands roam along his biceps and up to the nape of his neck like you’re the only thing keeping him from floating away.
It’s a mess of hushed teasing and giggles and clashing teeth, and it’s perfect.
As he pushes himself up for a moment of air, he looks off to the side before releasing a displeased sigh. “Shit, it’s getting late,” he observes solemnly.
He sits back on his heels, just far away enough for you to hold yourself up. You follow his line of sight and find that the digital clock on the shelf reads 11:15. Your shoulders deflate and your heart sinks.
“It is kinda late, isn’t it?”
Once you turn back to him, his eyes are stuck on you. Gorgeous, dilated pupils run across the high points of your cheekbones and back down to your lips. His gaze commands a rush of heat to caress your skin until your insides are set ablaze and your mouth is painfully dry.
The utter lack of urgency may as well have been a weighted blanket.
One of his arms snakes around your waist to pull you into him further. He leans forward, tilting his head ever-so-slightly to catch your lips.
This one is less playful than the ones you shared just seconds before. His movements are languid, purposeful. Like all the air had been stolen from his lungs and you were oxygen.
Your elbows threaten to buckle underneath your weight. Though, you’d happily sink back into the couch cushions and let them swallow you whole, if it meant you got to kiss him all night. And he’d just as eagerly take up the opportunity to have you underneath him for as long as he could entertain.
But he’s pulling away. Your foreheads rest together as you wear matching expressions of bliss: eyes closed, and slick, kiss-bitten lips parted. His thumb sinks underneath the hem of your shirt to dance across your skin. Another weighted blanket.
“I’ll drive ya,” he whispers reluctantly.
You watch as Eddie stands to stretch, and the warmth follows. A pensive wrinkle makes home between his brows as he slowly moves to grab his jacket. This, along with the nagging feeling in your chest, was routine whenever you spent the day at his place.
It’s not that he hasn’t offered for you to spend the night before, because he’s suggested it quite a few times. It was just so scary. The nerves bubble and spill over and it’s just all a mess inside your head whenever you want to ask.
Today is something different, though. All that occupies your mind is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie and suddenly, you think it’d be impossible to spend the night without him.
“Really? You’re not tired?” The questions run off your tongue without a second thought.
“Well, I’m wide awake now,” he jests, running the metal of his rings over his bottom lip. He pats the pockets of his jacket for his keys, and when he comes up empty, he searches the kitchen counter.
The fear creeps back into your head as you watch him rifle through drawers. It makes you shrink in on yourself as you trudge over to your shoes that lay haphazardly by the door.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to drive if you’re tired,” you ask softer.
Noticing a change in your demeanor, he looks up at you to see your teeth worrying at your lower lip. “I’m sure,” he insists sweetly, “Can’t let my pretty girl drive alone in the dark.��
He finally finds his keys and moves over to where his own pair of shoes rested beside yours. He sends you an easy grin and it makes it all the harder to swallow down your anxieties.
“It’s foggy out,” you mention faintly. You don’t know what the weather is like outside. It was merely you grasping at straws to freeze him in his motion. You’re sure it’s blatantly obvious at this point, expecting a light tease from the wavy-haired boy.
But oblivious as he is, Eddie peeks out the blinds anyway to scan the trailer park. He hums. It’s a little gloomy, but hardly anything to worry about. Just as he’s about to reassure you again, he pauses when he spots your fingers fidgeting with a loose seam in your sleeve. You’re staring down at your shoes — which you’ve purposely done a poor job of putting on, as they’re only halfway on your feet — with your tongue bitten between your teeth.
“Maybe…” you pause to take a deep inhale. “It’s probably better if I stay? If that's okay with you, I mean.”
Then, does Eddie freeze. And he feels like an absolute fool.
He feels like an absolute fool for being the one to get up first. For not getting the totally conspicuous hints you’ve been trying to give him for the past minute and a half. For being so focused on trying to find his damn keys that he hoped he’d lost in the first place. And for standing in shocked silence for so long that you’ve begun to frown and properly shove your ankles inside your shoes.
“Yeah,” he replies abruptly, reaching out for your arm.
“Yeah?” The hopeful rise in your inflection makes him gently squeeze your elbow.
“Yeah, of course you can stay. I want you to.”
You nod. You duck your chin to your chest to hide the shy smile on your lips, but to no avail. Eddie can spot your bright grin from a mile away and makes him go weak in the knees with a blush that he’s sure is making its way to his cheeks.
“Just to be safe, ya know,” you add before toeing off your shoes and pushing them closer to the wall.
“Right. To be safe.”
5K notes · View notes
jezabelle9299 · 2 months
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Broken Lungs S.R x FEM!Reader
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CWs- Spoilers for season 5, depictions of asthma and use of a nebulizer, mentions of gunshot wounds, and health insurance not covering necessary medication.
Quick Infodump- Oxygen saturation levels should be 95-100%, lower than 93% should seek immediate help from a healthcare professional, and lower than 85% can cause severe damage to the brain because of a lack of oxygen.
Overture: Spencer is recovering from the knee surgery he needed after being shot in the field, when he sees a familiar face in the hospital being treated for an asthma attack.
A/N- This is based on my own experience with asthma, but it's different for everyone, so the relatability may vary with this one. But I was stuck at home all day because of an air quality alert so I did this instead of getting ready for the semester that starts in two weeks.
After one of his worst days in the field, Spencer ended the day in a hospital bed unable to walk. Hotch had been stabbed, and he had been shot. Both would be ok, and they were in separate hospitals to recover. The team alternated who would come to visit, and when. It usually took until the nurses kicked them out at the end of visiting hours, for them to actually leave. 
It’d been 2 days since his surgery, and the nurses had given him permission to walk around with his brace, on crutches. He’d never used them before, so he walked around the floor to the nurses’ station to get some more jell-o, and then around the hall back to his room. He allowed his curiosity (or nosiness) to get the better of him, occasionally glancing in at the people with their doors open, giving them a small smile or wave. Until he saw a familiar face. 
You’d worked for the FBI for a few years, working on the same floor as the BAU, but you weren’t in the field. You were sitting up in a hospital bed, playing solitaire in one hand, holding what looked like an oxygen mask to your face with the other. You looked up when you felt his eyes on you, and there he was, trapped in the doorway. You’d think you were hallucinating if not for the brace on his knee, and the crutches he was propping himself up on. He didn’t move from the threshold until you gave him a small wave, jumpstarting his movement into your room. 
You’d heard about Hotch’s incident, but you weren’t in the office yesterday, and since Spencer’s injury happened later in the day, you had no idea why he was here. You pulled the mask spraying (terrible tasting) medicine into your lungs from your face. You could stop for 30 seconds to see what he was here for. 
“Hey Spencer, what–um, what brings you here?” He hesitated, because you’d know since the 5th floor of the FBI building was the most gossip-ridden place he’d seen since high school. Yet he had no idea you’d be here. It’s not even as if you never talked, whenever he was in the office he’d stop by your desk to talk to you. He figured that you hadn’t gotten tired of him yet because he was gone a lot, although in reality you’d never tire of hearing his voice.
“I got shot in the knee, I’ll be fine, the real question is why are you here?” You’re sure it’s on government record, something Garcia could find in two minutes if she looked, but you still didn’t like talking about it. You knew it was stupid to be embarrassed of it, but you couldn’t help it. Every time it got brought up, you felt like the dorky character in a movie carting around their inhaler all the time, the butt of some cosmic joke. 
You preferred to think of it as an inconvenience more than anything. It didn’t come up often because you weren’t in the field, and when you needed to use an inhaler, you measured your breathing long enough to get to an empty bathroom or supply closet. You’d just blame the jitters that came after on too much coffee, and no one would ask any questions. This time, the inhaler wasn’t working, the next step in medication, a small machine similar to what you were supposed to be hooked up to now, wasn’t working either. So you drove to the ER feeling like you’d just run 10 miles, and they were making you stay 36 hours to give you stronger medication in intervals. 
“No reason.” You didn’t know why you even bothered with that response. Neither did Spencer, tossing you an apathetic look. He knew how squeamish you got when attention was drawn to something that made you look vulnerable, which is why he let it slide every time you walked into a supply closet looking flushed and panicked, with a soundtrack accompanying every time you took a breath, only to come out 5 minutes later with no supplies. 
 “Ok, really? Why would you even try it, you’re hooked up to a nebulizer and your oxygen saturation is at 90. What happened?” He was using the tone he only ever broke out for interrogations and proving Morgan wrong, but you still wanted to minimize the attention drawn to this not so glamorous piece of your life. You wanted Spencer to see you as someone he could date, even someone he could love, so this was not ideal to the image you’d been trying to show at work. 
“I have gross broken lungs. It’s really no big deal.” He laughed, but there was minimal humor behind it. Like he couldn’t even fathom you thinking this was ‘no big deal’. 
“I would venture to say you being in the hospital because you were unable to breathe is a very big deal.” While you loved when Spencer got a little bit cocky, you decided it would be more fun to make the little vein in his forehead appear again. So you tossed a vague shrug.
“Well I’d say getting shot is a much bigger deal. So why don’t you sit down, eat your jello, and tell me what happened to you, while I finish this thing.” He couldn’t argue with that, because at the very least he wanted you to feel better and the medicine currently going to waste while you were talking was the only way to accomplish that, so he relented. 
He didn’t want to move your things to the floor, but they were occupying the only chair in the room, so he made himself comfortable at the foot of your bed. He always wanted to be closer to you anyway. Setting his crutches next to him and opening the small cup of jello he’d somehow been holding this whole time, he reiterated his answer from before. 
“I told you already, I got shot in the knee, went into surgery, and now other than having to use these crutches for a while, I’m fine. Just need to spend a little longer in recovery before I can go back home to minimize the risk of infection.” He took a bite of jell-o just as a show of finality, like there was nothing more to say. Like a gunshot wound was not a huge deal. 
The whirr of the machine started to slow down, the medicine sputtering instead of coming out in a steady steam, meaning you could finally be done. You set it on the table by the bed, right next to your abandoned game of solitaire, and as soon as you set it down Spencer’s attention was back on your wellbeing. 
“Ok your turn, what happened?” 
“I’ve had asthma since I was a kid, and I just got unlucky today. It’s always worse this time of year, and my inhaler wasn’t really doing anything for me. Our health insurance plan doesn’t cover the more expensive meds unless I’m in the hospital, so here I am, for the next 36 hours.” You made a point to turn your exasperated expression into a cheesy smile, hoping to convince him to stay for just a little while longer.  “But the bright side is that since you're here I don’t have to play solitaire anymore. That was getting old fast.” You grabbed the cards, giving them a quick shuffle.
“So what do you say Vegas, are you up for a round of poker?” You hoped that would distract him from fussing over you, and luckily it did. He was satisfied you were ok, and the last thing he wanted was to push you too far, and for you to ask him to leave. So he let the smile take over his face. 
“Always. But i'm not going to go easy on you just because of your- what did you call them- broken lungs?” That got a good laugh out of you. Admittedly wheezy, but still one of the most beautiful sounds in the world to him. 
“Gross, broken lungs. And I wouldn’t dream of it.” You dealt the cards, already knowing you’d lose. You didn’t even know how to play poker. But word around the office was that most of your coworkers wouldn’t play with him since he always won. But you didn’t mind, you mostly just wanted someone to hang out with, and you were overjoyed that person was Spencer. He won, of course. Only gloating a little bit at how badly he beat you, and while you were dealing the second round of cards, you couldn’t help but vocalize what had been in the back of your mind for a few minutes now. 
“Hey Spencer, could I ask you a favor?” He had a mix of worry and willingness to help all over his face. 
“Anything.”
“Could you–not tell anyone in the office? Just. You know how they are, they would make a fuss about the whole hospital thing and it’s just not necessary.” 
“Where do they think you’re going to be for the next day and a half?”
You looked down like a kid who just got caught in a lie. “I kind of told Hotch I had a cold.” Spencer just sighed in response. 
“I really do think you should let them fuss over you. You deserve it, and you know Penelope lives for that sort of thing.” That you couldn’t deny, no matter how much you disagreed with him saying you deserved to be cared for. 
“Please, Spencer?” 
“Alright, but they might walk past your room in the morning. Garcia said she was coming, and you know she’ll drag at least one person along with her.” 
“Noted. I’ll close the door in the morning. Thank you Spencer, seriously, it means a lot.” You put your hand over his and it felt like every thought he’d ever had was gone from his brain at your touch. He couldn’t believe his dumb luck at meeting someone like you. Just to be in your orbit, to see and know you, felt like it could only be accomplished by divine intervention. Selfishly, he wished that you’d be staying a little longer, so that you could both leave together. Even more selfishly, he wished that you would leave with him, and come to his apartment. There he could take care of you, make you feel special until he could finally convince you that you deserved it. Deserved everything. 
You moved your hand to start tapping it on your leg, and while Spencer knew the side effects of respiratory steroids, he couldn’t help the nagging feeling that something was wrong. That maybe he did something wrong. 
“Is there something on your mind?” 
“No, it’s just the jitters. I used to get them so bad when I was a kid, my parents would have to practically hold me down. It’s like I have the energy to run a mile, but I can’t actually do it. I’ll calm down in a bit, but I’m probably going to get really rambly first.” 
“I’d love to listen to you talk, and I love being on the other side of a ramble.” It was just then that a nurse came in to ask if you were feeling better, charting your vials,  reminding you that you need to take your next dose in 4 hours, and telling you that an orderly would be in to set it up then.
Just when she was getting ready to leave she turned her attention to Spencer. “I’m sorry, but I am going to need you to go back to your room Dr. Reid. You both need to get some rest.”
He reluctantly told her that he would and just as soon as he’d come in, he disappeared again. He gave you a wave when he was gathering his crutches, but no real goodbye. You of course waved back, but you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. You really liked him, and you thought maybe he really liked you too. And yet, he only gave you a wave. 
All of the adrenaline moving through you, getting you all worked up finally won out, and stupid as it may sound, tears started to prick the corners of your eyes. Just as you closed the door to your room to get some privacy while you cried, your phone started to ring, and you couldn’t help but think; What now? You answered it without looking, and on the other side of the line was the person you wanted to hear from the most. 
“So what did you want to talk about? I have all the time in the world.”
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miniimight · 10 months
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Hiiii idk if you’re doing requests rn but I just ADORE how you write Izuku and katsuki like omg-
Anyways- my meds are causing me some crazy nightmares lately and I was wondering how they would handle you waking up from a nightmare???
If you don’t take requests then forget this ever happened :’)
Have a nice day byeeeeee!!!
NIGHTMARES you wake up in a start and wake them up in the process
with izuku & katsuki
notes guys i know ive been away for way too long im so sorry!!! :( i'm in the process of moving so it's stressful T-T thanks for the request, anon, hope those nightmares got/get better :( <3
it was so vivid. your mind sunk into an alternate reality that captured all your senses. you felt yourself spiraling deeper and deeper, faster and faster—
your body jolted upright with a breathless yell and a sharp gasp, the world stilling for a mere second...
and then you leaned over your knees, your lungs racing to catch up with your need for oxygen. your chest felt tight and you squeezed your eyes, remembering that your boyfriend was laying peacefully beside you.
you peeked to your side and found him staring right back—wide, bright eyes piercing into your own—sending a shock through your body.
IZUKU
"god, izuku, you scared me—" you sighed, your hand pressing on your stomach as if that would make the uneasy feeling disappear.
"i scared you?" he sat up further, scooching closer to your side. "you scared me, angel. are you okay? you're out of breath, honey. let's do it together, okay?"
you whimpered softly as you tried to follow his guide. izuku could tell you were in distress and it took everything to stop himself from overwhelming you with questions. he just laced his fingers with yours and squeezed.
"good job, honey." izuku praised you ever-so-softly, rubbing your back soothingly. "feeling a bit better?"
you nodded, frowning. "m'sorry for waking you—"
"angel." he whined, letting his eyes do all the talking. "don't do that! please, don't do that." he actually sounded offended.
you looked away from him, your throat hurting from holding back tears. "it's been happening all the time, though, and you need your rest. maybe i should take the guest room?" you were more talking to yourself than anything, but izuku refused to let you entertain such an idea.
izuku's shoulders slumped, the shock fading as drowsiness began to overtake him. he smiled lazily, fighting a yawn. "y/n, even if i knew you would wake me up every night for the rest of time, i'd still choose to be here beside you."
you turned to face him, the horror of your nightmare slowly fading to the back of your mind. "really?"
"really." he confirmed.
you smiled, letting your head rest on your knees as you stared at him lovingly.
the rustle of sheets and whistle of wind reminded the both of you that it was indeed the middle of the night. izuku tugged you closer by your waist, pulling you back onto the bed. he groaned softly, stretching a little before he relaxed against you. "did you wanna talk about it?"
you pursed your lips. curling into his embrace, you immediately felt warmer. "...not right now."
he kissed your forehead. "don't worry, i'll always be right here to protect you from anything your head throws at you. you just tell me and let me at 'em." he kissed you again before wrapping both arms around you.
his steady breathing and soft snores brought a fond smile to your face. you found yourself falling asleep despite the night's events.
KATSUKI
you both stared at each other for a good few seconds before you spoke up.
"sorry for waking you," you mumbled, still having trouble managing your breathing. you turned away from him, pressing your palms into your eyes.
"no," he whispered with a softness reserved for you only. "you didn't wake me."
you stared at him through the darkness and could see him so clearly. "katsuki—"
"shh, it's okay, baby." he gave you a soft smile, once again reassuring you. "come 'ere."
you sniffed as you inched closer. katsuki gently took your arm and pulled you the rest of the way right into his arms. his hand fell to your waist, tracing little shapes and lines as he allowed you time.
"wanna talk about it?" he asked.
you shook your head.
"okay." he squeezed your shoulder, kissing your cheek. he figured you'd tell him when you were ready—the last thing he wanted to do was stress you out even more. it was hard, not to get all the answers on what was bothering was you... it was in his nature to want to make all your problems go away. "what do you need?"
you hand wound around his torso, hugging him back. "um..." you shuddered as you breathed in. "just you."
he smiled against your skin. "yeah? promise you're not holding back on me?"
you giggled. "yes."
"cuz you know i'd do literally anything—"
you sat up slightly, turning to face him with a swat to his chest. your face burned and it was a struggle to recall the images of your nightmare. "katsuki! oh my god."
"what?" he scrunched his nose. his eyes never left you. "it's true."
you returned to your spot between his arm. "just you."
"whatever you say." he pressed his lips to your temple before he got comfy. he sighed. "goodnight, pretty. wake me when those stupid nightmares bug you again, okay?"
your heart fluttered and your smile grew out of your control. "okay."
© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3
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moondirti · 3 months
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JIGSAWS [ surgeon! simon riley x f! reader ] — masterlist / each part can be read separately : dealing with cruelty is hard when stress has a crippling effect. simon gives you a place to find comfort, however unconventional
dom/sub. dubcon (power dynamics). adjustment disorder. sexual harassment and battery. dacryphilia. hurt/comfort. biting. marking. brief fluff. medical settings. 2.8k
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"Fuck aff, ya useless pillock."
At 0600 hours, a belligerent intake is the last thing you need.
Fatigue works her wily fingers into you, kneading staunchly into your shoulders to add resistance for every step forward. The sun hasn't yet peeked over the horizon, pellucid blue sky outside somehow consolidating every misery from the past week. If your exhaustion felt impregnable during the bright stretch of summer, autumn encroaches vindictive, dreary winds intent on teaching you to count your blessings, next time.
"Good morning, Mr. Cook. I'm one of the daytime neurosurgical residents, here to see how you’re doing since your admission last night at... 2100, is that right?" The script, if not plainly artificial, is a cornerstone for when you cannot muster your own words. Too often, you opt to lean into its guidance – a habit you picked up the hard way during intern year. Control all variables. That way, if things go sour, you can be almost sure that the error did not lie with you.
But perfunctoriness doesn't always bode over well. Mr. Cook's face twists into something foul, sunken eyes assessing you spitefully from his cot. You should have known to affect a different approach. He called you useless after all, for what you assume is frustrated reason. No one likes spending their time here without answers.
Try cutting to the chase, then.
"I see from your chart that you came in complaining about headaches, fever, and nausea. I understand how tired you must be. If it's alright with you, I’d like to perform a quick exam to get to the bottom of things."
"Ye'd be wasting my damn time, girl. Jus' lookin' at ya, I can tell the only thing ye're good for s'wetting my cock."
You sip a startled breath, consoling the erratic stutter of your heart with oxygen and four fingernails curled into your palm. It's not a serious threat – that much is evident by the slurred cadence, the unfocused hands he waves accusatorially in your direction. The overnight resident hadn't noted any aggression on his chart, either; which suggests this is new. Exacerbated by his condition, else the pain has loosened his tongue.
(And Kyle knows better than to schedule you with the tough ones. It's noted especially in your file, documented as a corrective action plan in prim, red ink.)
Though the smile has long since slipped off your lips, you amass what sympathy you can, nodding like it'll do anything to dissuade his suffering. Useless. "A little civility would help things run a lot smoother, Mr. Cook. It's just a few questions that will give me insight to your malaise. I'll even forward those to a senior physician, if you would prefer more qualified care."
Just one face refines itself in your mind's eye. Deep-set brown eyes, prying behind a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. Sentiment that teeters the tightrope between indifference and affection. The days have buried their thumbs into your obsession, urging it deeper, beyond professionalism. Nudging your lungs, finding place amidst life-sustaining organs to become one of its own. Now, veins wire through, supplying blood to what should not be encouraged, should not be sustained–
You think of him, anyway.
"A'll tell y'what." A blurry shape swipes for your face. You flinch, neck snapping back, before finding that the rest of your body can't follow suit, arm held in a vice grip by a set of gnarled fingers. Mr. Cook's hold curls into bone, urging a whole world of pain to match the terror storming through your head. Your blood pressure skyrockets. Stress whistles sirens behind your ears. "How 'bout you call a proper doctor in now, and put on a li'l show for me in th'meanwhile, eh?"
A multitude of scenes, each more harrowing than the last, unfurl at his implication. If you cannot wrench yourself from him, what's to say you can fight back should he decide to pull you closer? Oh god. Your wrist struggles, thrashing wildly, disregarding its wellbeing for the opportunity to screw out of his grasp. The clipboard clatters to the floor. Your heart palpitates arrhythmically, unsteady palpitations battering war drums on your ribs. Though you've been trained for this, you cannot regulate your response to adrenaline. The exercises given to you by your therapist scatter at the first sign of real turmoil. Your body shuts down. Things spiral out of your control.
But your assailant's condition is not usual. Where a healthy man would only grow more determined in your struggle, he lets his aggression get the best of him. Roaring, his legs kick from beneath tight-fitted sheets, arm shuddering with the force it takes to keep you tethered in place. Eventually, your panic grows too much for him to subdue. With a final push of your heel off the floor, you free yourself, stumble three steps back, and fall flat on your ass. Hurt, but safe.
Mr. Cook grumbles, moving on too quickly for someone who had been so passionate just moments ago.
Safe, safe, safe.
You force yourself to repeat only that as you straighten yourself out. Hone in the truth of the matter, and not what your body tries desperately to have you believe. Safe. It's just another patient with neurological deficits. Safe. You have reason to hand his check-ups to someone else.
Safe. There's a place you can go to sap this off your chest.
"I'll order a CT scan for later this afternoon. We will do our best to help you once the results come in. Have a good day, Mr. Cook."
Still, as you scuttle out into the white-lit hall, you feel anything but.
"Come in."
Dr. Riley's office is comparatively dark to the fluorescent rest of the hospital, brightened only by the warm light of his desk lamp. Though his curtains are drawn shut, beams of pink from the vibrant dusk outside sneak their way through, casting everything in a rich glow. The day has been long, leagues more taxing than usual. Stepping into the space offers brief respite, then, like sinking into bed to reach for better dreams.
He looks up at you, impassive. There's never any indication to how he truly feels – whether creeping adoration curls around his heart at the very sight of you, or if he reserves it for after hours – but you've found that the puzzle attracts you more than it pushes you away. You like feeling pinned under his scrutiny, a little lab mouse tested for its wit. Even now, with a whole host of real matters to discuss, you can't help but pick apart the minutia in his expression.
"Dr. Riley," You whisper, careful not to disturb the tranquillity.
"Yes?"
"Um, I'm so sorry to bother you–"
"No need for that." He clips, the liquid of his eyes shifting as they coast back to assess his screen. The monitor projects stark shadows onto his face, harsher than usual. Despite your... relationship, it's hard not to feel discouraged. He wouldn't look away if he were interested in what you had to say. "We're alone."
"Right." Clearing your throat, you shuffle through the glossy prints in your arms. Cross-sectional imaging from Mr. Cook's CT scans, annotated in your illegible hand. The aftershocks of your stress are evident in the writing; loopy letters boasting sharp corners, a liberal use of shorthand where it wouldn't be allowed. When you place them on his desk, you pray he doesn't take heed of it. "A patient who was admitted last night. Though the tomographs are nonspecific, I have reason to believe it might be a brain abscess. If that is the case, I'd like to schedule him for surgery as soon as possible, and I know you're in the OR tomorrow, so..."
He doesn't look up at you while you speak, opting instead to skim the analysis you've left for him in the margins. Only after a long moment's silence do his lashes quiver, a voiceless acknowledgement to your request. The details come later. Tomorrow morning, likely, assigned by Kyle upon clocking in.
"You'll serve as my resident."
Your lips part. Seeing Mr. Cook again, even while under the effects of anaesthesia, brings a queasy ache to your stomach. It's about the most unprofessional thing you could voice, however – more so than any nasty promise Dr. Riley whispers to you in private – so you settle on keeping it to yourself.
"Okay."
But he doesn't miss a thing. The warble in your tone catches his attention like steaming gore to a predator, jaw ticking as salivate floods his mouth. You should have schooled your emotions better, should have given it a good, long mourn before coming to see him – because if you know anything, you know that there's nothing he loves more than seeing you cry.
And now–
Now, it's too late to renege. You're on a fixed path, the only variable being a matter of time until when. The rush of it already devastates your throat, stone lodged in a white river rapid of sentiment. Warmth fogs your eyes. Prelude to collapse, tremors buried deep beneath the earth's crust come to light.
"Out with it." He says.
And your body serves him, better than it could ever serve you.
A sob breaks the dam, first – snarling, ugly thing, face screwing up in a vain effort to tamp the subsequent flow of tears. Your head feels heavy, weighed down by briny devastation and the culmination of your pressures. Yet catharsis never fails; immediately, you feel it unravelling, hiccups picking the presumably impossible knots in your chest until they are nothing more than strings, meant to eventually tie back up again.
So it goes.
But it doesn't matter here. Can't. Not when Dr. Riley scoots his seat back, clearing a space by his legs. Parting heaven's gates, a little sanctuary for the desperate. You run to it, crumpling to the floor to bury your wet face in his trousers, hugging the wide breadth of his calves. It is as though your troubles melt off your skin, wax held close to a flame. No cologne or scented-soap veils the true essence of him; him, who's able to pacify you with little word. Musk, traces of sweat, a sage and cedar-wood body wash that still clings to him, despite the day and several layers. You suck in a chest-straining whiff of it all, stitching your eyes shut to etch the smell into your memory.
"H-He was awful. Said I was... was good for n-nothing but bei-ing a whore." You sniff, curling tighter around him. A lab mouse indeed, basking in the hand that feeds it. His own – large, dry, warm – pets your nape, tugging a little at the baby hairs below your ear. Idly playing, as though your grief does not necessitate his full notice.
"Comes with the job, little thing." You know that. You know that – have heard it many a time from your parents, your therapists, your peers and higher-ups. Anyone who has ever been privy to your condition has warned you that the medical field is never stressless, that you'll spend years miserable until it grows to be too much. And he must feel your bristling, the discomfort his advice affords, for he moves on sooner than you can state your case. "Did he touch you?"
You doubt it's meant as more than a simple inquiry. Still, you fumble for the right answer. Though the one you tend to is yes, yes he did – a childish grasp for some cosseting – you wonder if he'll take your minor wounds seriously at all. Does it count if what you have to show for it are surface-level contusions? Or will it only warrant mention if you can match the fissures of his flesh?
Tucking your arm between your legs, you shake your head no. Dr. Riley's forehead creases, brows knitting together reflexively. The move must not have been subtle enough, because he extends an expectant hand, impatience igniting his tail. Bones work under the scarred skin of his knuckles, muscles rippling in the quarter-length of an exposed forearm. He doesn't need to say anything. Just sits there and waits, the ire emanating off him enough to urge you into lift your bruised wrist.
(Splitting to his will like brain matter to the knife.)
Anyone would look delicate when set against him, yet you marvel at the contrast nonetheless. It resembles porcelain, fine china in his grip. His thick fingers twist to inspect the splotchy discolouration, set there by Mr. Cook's hold.
"Does it hurt?"
"Only when– ah," You huff. His thumb presses into the tender flesh, recalling the pain you've worked all day to ignore. "you do that."
"Hm."
The words tumble from your tongue before you can catch them.
"Are you mad?" You ask, softly, then cringe as the question finds its place in the lull. It's an awkward echo, like the ocean gnawing desperately on shore, trying to make its mark in the sand. No matter how hard the spume and saltwater crashes, no matter the devastation it wreaks, it will always be pulled back, away from what it hardly affected.
(You used to liken him to choppy waters, feeling drowned in all his callousness. Yet as you wipe your tears with the back of your hand, your passions warring with each other within a vessel that cannot contain it, it has never been more clear that he is the earth. The ground. Unfixed, unmoved. It is an impossible endeavour for you, whose impact is as thin as the tides.)
More than anything, you covet an admission of his concern. Warmth to feel him in your corner, eternally there, even as your sight’s set on other horizons. With it, you'd be able to stand it all, you think.
"No." He says. "Brain abscesses can exacerbate aggressive behaviour. I don't fault him for that."
It needles right over where it hurts, mangling the softened muscle of your heart.
"Oh."
"But," Dr. Riley adds, guiding you to a wobbly stand. If he didn't plan on transferring you to his lap, you would have fallen right back down. As it is, though, he uses your fawn-like strength to nestle you across his thighs, brushing the flyaways from your temple. "Don't like seein' the marks on you."
Your cheeks heat. Pressing them into his collarbone, you speak against his pulse. It flutters, tandem to your breath. "I'll put a warm compress on it tonight."
"Better. Should only be mine you carry, pet." His voice vibrates through you, sound waves absorbing to become one with your body. Never did you think it could feel so good, yet as he continues to speak, you find yourself wishing that he’ll do so forever, eternal, so that you may weld together eventually.
"Sir…"
"Lift your head f'me." He whispers, nipping your jaw when you follow his instruction. Thin lips scratch your neck, chapped from the tight constraints of his mask and the dry hospital air. You dizzy to think of wetting them with your tongue, running the muscle along his cupids bow, sharp canines, dunking to map the inside of his cheeks. But that isn’t what this is; he’s made sure to clarify that, of all things.
So, you dip your head, neck arching to widen the canvas to his onslaught.
His groan is hot, ticklish as it fans over the area. You wriggle in his firm lap, coming to expect something much more permanent once he latches to your sweet spot. Practiced, trained to the hollow of your throat. Blood rushes to the capillaries sitting just under the skin there, bursting when it grows to be too much. Building pressure that takes away from your brain, your numbing extremities. Your cunt throbs, balmy and slick. He keeps a large hand anchored between your thighs as if he’s aware of what you’ll try to do without direction.
As a high whine pitches from your chest, and you darken to the shape of his maw, Dr. Riley doesn’t budge. He pushes further, rather. Digging his teeth into you, laving over the iron that surfaces. It hurts something terrible. If it weren’t so late into the night, you would doubtlessly be interrupted as a louder wail splits the sheltered office space, carrying through the labyrinth halls. Pain eclipses any internal worry, though. And perhaps that was the intention, mind buzzing with white noise once he pulls away.
Blinking, you clear the gossamer webs of delirium off your eyes. His mouth comes into view, first; swollen, tinted with a diluted wash of ichor, purpling with a bruise that no doubt mirror yours. You can only imagine what a mess he’s made of you, if the evidence of his own undoing is so stark.
The dual marks brings a dumb smile to your face.
“There.” He resolves, at last. It sounds like pride and feels a lot like damnation. “Good.”
You can’t help but agree.
(Even the earth will eventually erode away. Even the earth.)
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cobaltperun · 4 months
Text
Mad Love
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Bottom Cairo Sweet x Top female (G!P) Reader (Smut, minors do not interact)
Basically Genius 7.5
Story Masterlist
Word count 4.4k
You would be lying if you said you were okay with Cairo’s recent visitor, and sure, you were jealous, but more than that, you were worried about her. Why did he insist on spending so much time with her and being that close during classes? Sick fuck… Well, problems for Monday, for now you wanted to give her the letter mistakenly left at your address and seeing as she was clearly dressed up for something leave her to it. You pulled the letter out of your jacket and noticed the way she smiled, as if she was expecting it. “The mailman left this at my parent’s place. I think he doesn’t like coming all the way over here,” you tried to joke, to release the tension you were currently feeling as you stepped closer to her. One of you was already wet from the rain, so Cairo getting wet as well wasn’t needed.
You handed the letter to her and, even through your glove, you felt as if lightning passed through you. Fuck, you needed to leave before you did or said something you couldn’t take back, besides, she looked so stunning you had to stop yourself from staring. “I’ll leave you to whatever you dressed up for. You look, never mind, I should go,” you turned, she most certainly didn’t dress up for you. And that, as much as you hated to admit it, made you jealous.
She wouldn’t be yours. No matter how hard you wanted her to be. Then, before you could fully realize what was going on she was grabbing you and pulling you back to her, the phone and the letter falling from her hand, and you somehow managed to catch them both. But, while you were busy catching her things you dropped your umbrella and she took your helmet off, tossing it to the side carelessly, and you would have complained. “Hey! Watch the hel-“ you did try to complain, but then you saw her eyes, you saw her lips and suddenly it didn’t matter that you helmet was somewhere on the grass, or that your motorcycle was getting wet as the rain started falling even harder. “Cairo,” you breathed out her name as if that was the last word you ever wanted to say and pressed your forehead against her own. She was going to get wet like this, her hair was already a bit damp.
“How do I look?” she asked, and you shivered as her fingers went from the bottom of your jacket to your collar and you watched as the raindrops glided across her bare arms. You watched as her dress got soaked in the rain, and you just put her phone and the letter into your pocket before pulling her closer. You needed to have her close, to feel the fabric of her dress, to touch her skin, to hold her.
“Like the most tantalizing poem ever created and then given flesh,” you spoke, feeling like no amount of oxygen you breathed was enough as your lips brushed over hers and you pleaded through your eyes for the permission to just kiss her.
And she gave it to you. “Satisfy those desires then,” she spoke, and you could no longer resist her, you pressed your lips against her, feeling like the two of you fit together like pieces of a puzzle that was broken apart a long time ago. Your tongue brushed against her lips and she eagerly opened her mouth, eagerly pressed her own tongue against yours and neither of you cared that the rain was turning into a downpour. She was in your arms, she was kissing you, you could touch her, run your fingers through her wet hair, you could pull her closer. It wasn’t enough with the gloves on, and you just took them off, tossed them carelessly aside and sighed into the kiss as you felt her skin against your bare hands.
It wasn’t enough yet. Just kissing her wasn’t enough, you gasped, filling your lungs with oxygen as you got lightheaded, intoxicated by her. You tugged at her soft hair, your heart skipping a beat when she leaned her head back with the quiet moan. “You’re a need I can never satisfy,” you confessed, kissing her neck and memorizing each sound her erratic breathing produced. “You’re a dream I can’t wake up from,” you went lower, kissing her left shoulder as her fingers unzipped your jacket. “The only melody that can fill my silence,” You bit her lightly, inducing more soft gasps as she pushed your jacket down, as her hands slipped underneath it and clutched your shirt.
Suddenly, she moved her hand to your chin and lifted it up to kiss you again with even more intensity than before. Her tongue slipped into your mouth, rough and desperate, and you felt a string of saliva breaking apart as you separated. “You’re the desire that inspires me,” you admitted, looking into her eyes before her lips found yours once more.
“Then be inspired, my madness. Take me in all the ways you desire,” madness, that was exactly what all of this was, and if you were her madness, you’d gladly accept that role. And you would take her, as long as she doesn’t stop you, you were going to take her, And her whisper, as she said that, fuck your jeans were getting uncomfortably tight. “I’m yours, every part of me, in every way you want me. Love me, Y/N,” she sighed, and you latched your mouth onto the side of her neck, aiming to leave a hickey that would last for a while, that would let everyone know she was all yours.
“You know I’ll stop if you tell me, right?” you asked her when you separated your mouth from her neck and she just returned the favor, biting your neck and leaving a deep mark on it, and damn, you had no idea you liked it mad.
“Do I look like I want you to stop?” she asked, slipping her hand into your pocket and pulling the letter out. “This is for you, the letter, the dress, what’s underneath it, all of me,” she told you, causing your eyes to widen at that revelation. She planned this, well, maybe not everything, but your arrival, she most definitely planned on that. And that turned you on even more.
“You have no idea what you’re doing to me,” you lifted her up bridal style because you weren’t sure how else to carry her with the ridiculously hot dress she had on. You lost your shoes somewhere along the way, though you were sure they were lost inside the mansion.
Cairo ripped the letter open. “You want to read what you’re doing to me? Take me to the bedroom and you can read all about it,” she pulled herself up and moaned right into your ear and your entire body felt like it was on fire. You weren’t sure how, but you managed to get to her bedroom, but your patience was already at its limit, and you pressed her against the closed doors.
You took one glance at the letter she was offering you and chucked it to the side. “I’m busy, tell me what you wrote,” you suspected it before, but tugging the straps of her dress while the two of you shared desperate, breathless, kisses, confirmed she wasn’t wearing a bra. You groaned into the kiss, feeling her soft breasts under your touch. You cupped her breasts, felt her nipples get hard under your thumbs, and you needed more.
“Fuck!” she hissed as you pressed your thigh between her legs and her eyes widened as she felt the bulge in your pants. “Strap?” she gasped as she took your elbow guards off and threw them to the floor or somewhere in the room.
“No,” you rasped, taking the jacket off and letting it fall to the floor, not caring one bit for your or her phone at the moment. You had her in your arms, you were kissing her, leaving hickeys all over her neck and shoulders. You bent down a bit, kissing each of her nipples as she slipped a hand down to cup your cock through your clothes and you bit back a groan.
“Fuck, I need this inside me,” she rasped, unzipping your jeans and slipping her hand into your boxers to feel your already fully erect cock and you felt relief as she gently pulled it out of your clothes. She looked down, her smile widening as her thumb rubbed the head of your cock. And then she pushed you back until you walked into her bed and fell back.
She bit her lower lip and pushed her dress the rest of the way down, baring her naked body for you to see. “I want you to take me,” she got on top of you, and you could only watch, still surprised that she had nothing underneath the dress. You took your shirt and bra off as she pulled your jeans and boxers further down and licked her lips as she grinded her naked pussy on your cock and teased both of you.
“Damn, Cairo,” you groaned, throwing your head back as she stopped grinding on you and wrapped her hand around you. “A bit gentler,” you hissed when she squeezed a bit too hard.
“Sorry,” she pecked you on the lips, her smile apologetic and a bit sheepish. “Is this okay?” she asked as she slowly moved her hand up and down along your shaft.
“Yeah, the letter,” you sighed, clenching your eyes shut and reaching for her.
“Relax, let me make you cum,” she whispered in your ear and used her other hand to keep your arms above your head, and you let her, enjoying the warmth of her body pressing against yours and her hand around your shaft.
“I’m burning up, drowning in my desire,” she began sensually, slowly, making dramatic pauses as she began whispering right in your ear, and you clutched the sheets beneath your hands. “I’m alone, longing for you, your hands touching my body, exploring every bit of me, your lips marking all the different paths between my breasts, my lips, my pussy, anything you want. It’s all yours,” she moaned softly into your ear. “I want to touch myself as I write this for you, I want to quench the thirst within me, I want to cum with my fingers deep inside my pussy while I scream your name. I want to lick my fingers and pinch my nipples, to imagine it’s your mouth, your teeth, your tongue.”
You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, you had to touch her, your hands gripped her sides, and you moved them up, all the way to her firm breasts. “Keep going,” you demanded, your eyes finally opening to look her in the eyes, to take in her lustful gaze.
“I want you to play with my breasts, to squeeze them, press them together, to show me they are enough for you, to make me whimper and beg for the sweet relief only you can give me as you pull my nipples,” you did everything as she spoke, her breath shaking just a bit more with every command you listened to.
Cairo needed more, she craved your touch. It felt so good to feel your hands on her breasts, but she was greedy, she wanted more, she wanted to feel your cock inside her. Fuck, you were big, and hard, and desperate for her touch, and she basked in that desperation, she felt her pussy growing wet as she told you all her desires, as she imagine how it would feel to be pounded by you. “I want you to play with my nipples until they get sore,” she paused, inhaling sharply as you tugged a bit harsher on her nipples. “And then I want you to soothe them with your mouth,” you were yet to do that, she wasn’t in the position for you to easily do it. “And when you’re done with my breasts, when you are satisfied, I want you to move lower, to spread my legs and look at me. My pussy is soaked right now, I want to touch it, I need to. The thought of everything you could do to me is driving me insane. I’m not touching it though, it’s like I’m edging just for you, hoping you’ll come and fuck me soon. I want you to do it, I want to feel you bending me over, making me kneel on the bed for you. I want you to push my legs apart, to spread my pussy, my soaking wet, untouched pussy, and devour it. Be rough, be gentle, be whatever you want to be, just make me cry your name. Make me take it as you fuck me, hard and rough, or soft and sensual, whichever way you see fit as long as your fingers are inside me!” she’s never been as focused on sounds as you were, but she couldn’t deny how wet the sound of your labored breathing was making her. She watched you, falling apart with your cock in her hand.
“I want to be ravaged by you, until I’m a broken mess, until my virgin pussy takes shape of your fingers. I want to fall apart on your fingers, your tongue,” she could feel your cock twitching. “I desperately want to be yours, to feel my virgin pussy clenching around your fingers, to feel your tongue on my clit. I want to be eaten. Devoured. Taken again and again, on my knees, on my back, my side, against the wall, or on the floor, or maybe you want to on the table. Do you want me to cum all over our book?” she whispered, nibbling on your ear as you moved from her breasts and hugged her, your fingers digging into her skin as your precum leaked. “Hmm, Y/N? Do you want to leave marks on my body, visible to anyone caring enough to look? I want that, I need everyone to know I’m yours and that you are mine. Ruin me however you want, wherever you want,” her breath hitched, pussy gushing as she imagined you taking her but not just anywhere. She imagined you bending her over the motorcycle, while the engine was still on and staking your claim on her, spreading her open and splitting her on your hard cock, and then coming deep inside her. Then she’d get dressed and, with your cum still inside go on with her day. “Come and take me, I’m desperate for you, I’m madly in love with you,” she finished repeating what she wrote to you and went down, licking the head of your cock and feeling it twitch.
“Cum for me,” she whispered against your cock and took it in her mouth. She went down, trying to put as much of it as she could in her mouth, and she moaned, wondering how it would feel inside her. She wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing, but you weren’t complaining as her tongue circled the head of your cock.
“Cairo,” you moaned eventually. “I’m about to cum,” she sucked harder, wanting you to finish in her mouth. “Cairo!” you cried out, warning her one last time before you came into her mouth. She watched as your cock softened slowly and swallowed, proud of her efforts for her first blowjob. “Fuck,” you sat up, breathing deeply as you looked her in the eyes. “So, about the things you mentioned in your letter,” you grinned, pulled your jeans and boxers off completely and lifted her up. She wrapped her arms and legs around you and curiously looked you in the eyes as you went over to her table and laid her down on top of it. You spread her legs and your mouth twitched as you watched her pussy lips spreading a bit.
“I’ll be taking you now,” you said, she took control for a while, but she wanted you to devour her, and that was what you were going to do. You hunched over her and pulled her swollen nipple into your mouth. You sucked hard, twirling your tongue around the small nub.
As you did that you slipped your hand against her pussy and teased her, just gently rubbing her pussy lips and occasionally tracing a finger between them. “Take what’s yours,” Cairo encouraged you, breathing heavily now that she was the one getting all the attention.
“Tell me more,” you pleaded, desperate to hear more from her. “What do you want me to do right now?” you switched your attention to her other nipple, sucking it gently.
She knew what she wanted, she wanted to feel that engine roaring beneath her while you pounded into her from behind. “Fuck me on your motorcycle!” she cried out and you had to pause,
“You know what, I might just do that one day,” you smirked when she gasped, seeing as she likely didn’t expect you to agree in any way shape or form, “But, first,” you slowly slipped a finger inside her and began gently pumping it in and out, she was so damn tight, but she was aroused, wet, and after just a bit you could slip your finger in easier. “I’ll just fuck you like this,” you went down on her and took her clit into your mouth as she whined and whimpered. Her hands went to your shoulders and the back of your head as you ate her out.
“More, please, Y/N,” she cried out, her walls clenching even tighter as you added another finger inside. The table shook beneath her as she rocked her hips against your face and fingers, but you just kept going. You were driving her mad, she never felt anything close to this, the sensations of your wet tongue on her pussy, the fingers reaching deep inside her, the fact that you were doing it on her table where she wrote the letter, when she had to resist touching her soaking wet pussy. “It’s happening,” she whined, the pressure she only read about in the books that threatened to explode within her, the extasy she could only imagine up until now, it was happening, she was right there. “I’m coming!” she gasped, her eyes widened as you massaged her between her asshole and pussy with your free thumb. “Y/N!” she screamed your name, coming hard and arching her back, pushing against you just so she could prolong the contact, her very first orgasm, made even more special since it was given to her by you. You kissed her thighs, massaged her gently, and she felt herself calming down gradually. It took her a moment, but she began coming down from her high, still sensitive when you pulled back, observing the results of your work. If she didn’t feel so good she would complain about the cocky smirk on your face, but she wasn’t fully satisfied and she already began squeezing her breasts, pushing them together and rubbing her legs together. “Keep going,” she demanded and reached out for your cock as she did so. It wasn’t fully hard yet, but you were getting hard, and her grabbing it definitely wasn’t slowing the process down. “Take me,” she demanded, pulling you in and once again teasing her entrance with your cock.
“Mhm,” you kissed her lips quickly and then squeezed her thigh. “Get on your hands and knees,” you ordered, surprised slightly when she obeyed right away and presented her ass to you.
Cairo wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but you inserting two fingers into her from behind instead of your hard cock wasn’t one of those things. “I want to stretch you out real well,” you explained as Cairo began fucking herself back on your fingers. You didn’t even have to move them, she was eagerly doing all the work, and you only wished you could see her face at the moment.
 “Oh! Oh, Y/N!” she moved her hips back, pushing your fingers deeper into her. “More! Fuck me!” her hands gave in, and she dropped to her forearms as she kept fucking herself on your fingers.
“You want to be mine?” you asked her, though her letter and everything she was doing made the answer fairly obvious.
“YES!” she shouted, her movement growing erratic as you watched her trembling in pleasure.
“You’re all mine, Cairo,” you assured her and pulled your fingers out so you could rub her clit with them. “And I’ll fulfill every single desire you have, I’ll make you cum any way you want,” you assured her as she cried out from your fingers teasing her clit as you felt desperate to hear more of her cries of pleasure.  
She writhed, close to her second orgasm of the day as you ghosted your lips over her pussy, occasionally peppering kisses all over it. It felt so good, and she made sure to moan to let you know, but she needed more. “I need your tongue inside me!” she gasped, begging you to do more. You went down on her, your tongue penetrating her as her pussy throbbed.
And amidst all those sensations she felt your once again hard cock pressing against her thigh. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” she cried, digging her fingers into the wooden table as she arched her back. She felt like she was burning up, like a torrent of fire engulfed her. “Y/N!” she screamed your name as she came, her entire body shaking and mind processing the pleasure she never experienced before as the second orgasm hit her even harder than the first. She lifted her head up, realizing there was a bit of drool on her forearms now, she turned around and just began breathing heavily to catch her breath.
You watched as her face morphed into pure bliss when you lifted her up and brought her back to bed as her body slumped against it. “Did I tire you out?” you teased as you kissed your way up from her stomach to her neck, but she tilted your chin up with the tips of her fingers and captured your lips in a kiss. It was quick, but it lasted long enough for Cairo to grasp your cock and stroke it a few times.
“Take me,” she whispered against your lips, and you smiled, fully intending to follow her demands.
“Got a condom? Or are you on a pill?” you asked.
“No, but, I want to feel you inside me, raw, I want you to cum inside me, to fill me up, make it drip out of my pussy all night long. We’ll deal with it in the morning,” she told you softly, though there was a bit of uncertainty in the way she held onto you. It wasn’t that she worried about doing it raw, she was worried you’d say no.
“As you wish,” you gently stroked her cheek, getting lost in her eyes, the frantic, desperate need to make love to her, the adrenaline pushing you faded for the most part, and you wanted her to have the best first experience you could offer her. “I’ll go slow,” you promised as you spread her legs and teased her entrance.
“Only at first,” she countered as you slowly pushed in, pausing as she breathed deeply and adjusted to your cock being inside her. She wasn’t the only one who had to adjust, though. Her pussy was vastly different from her hand and mouth, it squeezed around your cock, and it took a lot of effort not to get overwhelmed by how tight she was, and damn were you glad you already came once.
She was tight, warm, and clenching around you so hard you struggled to move, and she groaned with a large smile on her face. “It doesn’t hurt, fuck it doesn’t hurt, I feel so full!” she moaned, encouraging you to start thrusting into her. “Take me,” she pleaded as she slowly started to move alongside you, meeting your thrusts almost halfway there and moaning even harder as you slipped a hand between the two of you and began rubbing her clit.
Your thrusts picked up speed and so did her cries of pleasure and you had the opportunity to listen to her most exquisite moans she let out. “More, please fuck me more!” she begged, and you complied, speeding up a tiny bit more. You wanted her to cum again, before or right after you, it didn’t matter as long as she came again.
She felt so full, so stretched out and happy that she was doing this with you. “Faster,” she begged and as you sped up, as your thrusts became harder and faster, she realized she got what she wanted, she got her madman’s love. How else could all of this be described? The way you were desperately loving her, the way you were fucking her now, it was just rough enough for her liking. You weren’t ramming into her, jackhammering her pussy in the glorified ways so many of her books depicted, but your every move was filled with passion and desire, and she felt it deep inside her.
“Fuck, Cairo,” you were close again, just a bit more and you’d fill her up, she could feel that, she could feel your cock throbbing inside her, and it just made her clench around you even harder. And then, as her pussy squeezed your cock you came deep inside her, your cries of pleasure mixing with her own. She came again as she felt you filling her up, fulfilling her desires, and you were both spent, that much was clear.
You weren’t spent to the point of being unable to be there as she came down from her high, Her body shuddered as you softly massaged all the sensitive spots and Cairo purred relaxing under your touch once more, you peppered her with soft kisses and she absentmindedly gave you a towel from the drawer next to her bed. You cleaned her up, kissing her softly on the lips as your breathing calmed down. And then, after you truly were done for the day, the two of you fell asleep with Cairo in your arms.
Taglist: @deimaisgail @bee-keeping @marvelous-disaster @jmwetterlund @tekanparadiae
@alexkolax @ioveyouyouloveme @aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh @autorasexy @lifeforsimp13
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goldenhypen · 1 year
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→ ENHYPEN’S RED FLAGS !! ⚠︎
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PAIRING | ot7 x fem!reader
GENRE | crack
WORD COUNT | 1.3k
WARNINGS | mentions of food; reader is referred to as “girl”; i’m pretty sure it’s fine but it is possible i made mistakes w the tenses (i’m still tryna get used to writing more in present tense T-T)
DISCLAIMER | THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY A FORM OF HATE TOWARDS ENHYPEN (pls i love these boys w my entire being how could i) this is a joke so don’t take this too seriously lol
A/N | had the time of my life choosing pics for the moodboard btw they had me out here cackling at 3 am (first red flag: i’m out here losing sleep bc of them !! smh)
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이희승 ! HEESEUNG
too handsome… how can you stand to look at that devilishly handsome face without ever passing out due to lack of oxygen in your lungs when he’s always taking your breath away?! also y’all become way too popular; people are always staring at you two (not only heeseung but you too obviously 😏), it’s tiring being so famous yk 🙄
good at everything… it’s lowk invigorating sometimes bc he’s always outdoing you in everything. when you play games, he’s beating you; when you’re having fun at karaoke, he’s always out-singing you or showing off with his fancy riffs and harmonies; when you’re playing sports together, he always has a way of beating you, no matter what the sport. he even manages to do better at the simple task of making ramyeon. and we all know that’s only to list a few. it’s just so tiring having such a perfect bf 😔
박종성 ! JAY
jawline is too sharp… you cup his jaw as you kiss him then suddenly you hurt your hand on his sharp jawline !! it’s not fair that you have to sacrifice your hands every day just because he looks so good.
cooks for everyone… because he cooks so much, you can’t just be hanging out watching him be all hot and sexy as he cooks for everyone all the time !! you’ve had enough of back hugging him, cheek pressed against his firm back muscles (they’re so strong, it hurts your face !!), or smelling and eating all the delicious food,,, you just wanna spend alone time with your man, without the kitchen as the third wheel :’D your bf is just so husband material, and being able to provide for everyone aside from just you and him is just so, totally, very much, rlly unattractive (that’s sarcastic btw i actually couldn’t come up w any negative points to this why would anyone hate that about him-)
심재윤 ! JAKE
always has his tongue hanging outside of his mouth or his teeth sunk into his bottom lip with a smirk… no wonder my man always has ulcers lol jk i have no idea how that actually works,, but you can never kiss him cuz his mouth hurts !! but he’s too hot for you to handle anyways so- sometimes he’ll be all seductive with that smirk after swiftly swiping his tongue over his lips and you have to literally take a moment to compose yourself before he wraps his hands around your waist, biting his bottom lip before leaning in to kiss you,, oh my heart :’>
loves his dog too much… sure, loving layla taught him ways on how to love on his own future girl, but you didn’t realize how long it would take him to transfer the title of his most favourite girl from layla to you. you were always competing with a dog and yes, she’s cute but how was this fair?! so let’s just say it took many years of hard work and determination until you finally stole that hard earned title.
박성훈 ! SUNGHOON
doesn’t hang out with enough girls… so he has no experience when it comes to dating you. even before dating you, he was basically a total clutz. not being around girls enough made him feel nervous whenever he was around them due to lack of experience. and so whenever it came to you at first, he was always a nervous wreck and super awkward. and even after dating you, though he is so much better and confident, he still has his slip ups and tends to get super shy whenever you make him flustered (which occurs a lot more often than you’d imagine)! alexa play ‘super shy’ by newjeans 👖
too funny… he randomly comes out with these stupidly funny jokes or comments that make you laugh so hard, it makes your tummy, cheeks and lungs hurt. whenever you tell him you’re gonna die of laughter, you’re not joking.
김선우 ! SUNOO
too sassy… like why does he always have to react with his eye rolls or side eyes whenever you tease him, with that snarky scoff. and then when he’d tease you back, he’d just take the remarks to a whole other level. but occasionally this sass would be used in your favour; whenever a friend would tease you, he’d always get very defensive and have the best comebacks. actually depending on how close you two are with the friend, he once in a while would take the side of your friend and just tease you harder.
perfect figure… he outdoes you all the time. like sunoo give us ladies a chance to shine?? he’s always stealing the spotlight, it’s annoying sometimes !! 🙄 like yes, you (y/n) are always hot and super attractive (self confidence!!! you deserve to love yourself 😌) but for some reason people are always complimenting sunoo’s body instead of yours. but let me let you in on a little secret… it’s only because it’s obvious you’re the one who’s clearly more physically attractive. and who states the obvious these days anyway? hmph 😌
양정원 ! JUNGWON
too loveable… in other words,, there’s nothing to ever (playfully) hate on him with or tease him about !! so boring 👎👎👎 like you just constantly wanna love on him. he can be teasing you about an embarrassing moment of yours that happened just a couple minutes ago, and then you try to think of a comeback but then you take one glimpse into his eyes and suddenly you’re melting on the spot as your mind is wiped of everything you could’ve ever thought up in one quick moment. and suddenly you can only think about the things about him that give you warm, fluffy feelings. HE COULD BE DOING THE BARE MINIMUM AND YOURE FULL HEART EYES FOR HIM he’s just perfect. so unfair and so not fun 👎👎
duality… DOES HE EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT HE SHOULD HAVE YOUR HEART TO LOOK AFTER ???? like what about your well being ??? how about YOUR FEELINGS ???? like you’re constantly being emotionally pulled this way and that cuz one second he’ll be the cutest bf ever with his bread cheeks and fluffy smile when all of a sudden he has a dance to practice and all of a sudden he’s in performance mode, and his duality is just insane !!! is that even the same jungwonie that was with you just a second ago ???? i think not !!! smh
西村 力 ! NI-KI
too tall; doesn’t stop growing… (if he’s a lot taller than you) how are you gonna kiss him?? how is he gonna kiss you?? no but even if he isn’t a lot taller than you now, this boy doesn’t stop growing. you won’t admit it but it’s actually really romantic and hot the way he’d do things to match your heights, such as the other day when he carried you onto the counter, stood between your legs, and pressed his lips against yours in the hottest kiss you’ve ever shared. it’s simply not okay ???
too good of a dancer… outdoes you in every dance game. like riki at least give us a chance??? i mean sometimes he does, but the competitive side of him always wins and he just ends up beating you anyways like always 🙄 also getting to watch him on stage is like seeing a whole other riki. you mostly know him for his goofy personality, but whenever you get to see him perform, he switches that off and enters his alter ego and it has to be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. so you get the best of both worlds… which obviously isn’t healthy for your heart ???
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A/N | it takes only two seconds and a click to make your favourite writers’ day with a reblog. and if you want to take 30 extra seconds of your day to add even just the smallest comment, even just a few nice words of encouragement in your reblog or in the comments, those put the biggest smiles on our faces. let us know how you liked what you just read by telling us and showing us so we can continue putting out content that you can enjoy! thank you! <3
M.LIST | TAGLIST FORM
TAGLIST 1 | @seroriis @raimbows4u @beibybtch @sultrybaby @kpop-nct @ajayke-reads @wccycc @enhacolor @enhasfever @nokacchan @yizhoutv @xiaoderrrr @soobin-chois @tyunni @shinsou-rii @softkpopplace @belle643 @nar-nia @rapmonie2047 @pshchives @sunjakes @ethereal-engene @exohclipse @yeosayang @forjaeyun @koishua @4ri-ki @sunoksunny @kookielover29 @jaeyunjakesim @whoschr @enaus @hoes4hoseok @1unxtic @palajae @clarakyunisageek @annoyingbitch83 @wonswondrland @malarign @rcrystallocks @stepout-09-15 @zeraaax @enhasengene @ktttwwn @pistachiophobia @svnoofy @sweetjaemss @vatterie @majesticallymark @mnsnts
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gojoest · 1 year
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it’s 7:45am and in less than an hour satoru is supposed to leave town for a few days. but for the past 30 mins he’s been dramatically sloth hugging you in bed— chest glued to your back, face hidden in the crook of your neck from behind, and hands tightly circled around your waist. even his legs are carefully wrapped around your lower body. and if you just relax and stop moving around in attempts to break away and leave the bed (it’s all in vain anyway), you can almost feel his heartbeat as your own. it’s calm and slow but quickens like crazy the moment you try to pull away from him. it’s like his whole body is trained to be dramatic when you’re not around.
he inhales the scent of you deep into his lungs one more time, like it’s his last breath or something. says it makes your scent linger in his nostrils and he loves that. it’s like you’re with him even when you’re not.
“i’ll miss you”, he pouts.
“satoru.. it’s just 2 days”, you sigh and roll your eyes.
“that’s a lot of days without you”, he pulls you closer, or tries to at least, but quickly realizes he’s only squishing you in his arms and his grip immediately loosens. a bit but not too much and you still can’t move an inch away.
“we’ll talk and text plenty”
“can’t hug you like that through the phone”
“don’t anyway. you’re suffocating me”
“no. i can only breathe when i hold you like this. deal with it”
“stop stealing my oxygen, idiot. i will die”
“i’ll let you live if you come with me, meanie”
“as if”
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