#You suck all the energy out of the few creatives that exist in the fandom space

[ask-artsy-oncie]

Hearing "there's an active Talespin fan forum that someone got banned from for pointing out that it's a Jungle Book AU (and therefore shouldn't be considered 1:1 with the Jungle Book)" just gives me Klonoa fan forum flashbacks.

Very much over people who make geek culture their entire identities, but spend so much of their energy dictating how people should enjoy something rather than doing something productive and community driven.

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

Watching people prefer to spend their energy on creativity because something doesn't feel right to them (Miracolous/HH/HB) is interesting when your biggest concern is that many fundraisers don't get done and people have to wait for it to get done , not sure whether they will die today… I know, dark thoughts…

Or seeing drama because the creator led the character than they wanted (Tia… I was with Chloe myself, although it wouldn't be so bad if Thomas didn't act like a child… THE CHARACTER HE HATES IS A CHILD, although we should be critical here, because it's an animation for children and has a fucked up message, but it's weird when it comes to adult productions like HH/HB, you don't have to be a fan of Vivzipop to facepalm over this… PEOPLE, IT TAKES PLACE IN HELL, WE KNOW PEOPLE SUCK THERE)

I think the strangest drama was about Alastor being asexual and it was so dramatic that it made you shake your head.

The second stupidest drama is about the art style being too detailed (Oh yes, because we have erased the medium of animation as an art… Great)

But yes, this drama is absurd, both in fandom and anti-fandom, both piss me off the same

Now that I have your attention:

--------------------------------------------------

By the way, greetings to the TOH fan who wanted the redemption of Belos, i.e. the genocider, after everything in the world, do you think he is worth redeeming?

Seriously, there are limits to what you can do when you have a tragic past, and that limit is killing someone (Serial Killer Stories, man, Adolf Hitler himself had a tragic past… His mother died and his dream of being an artist fell apart, and his father was a toxic person, does that mean that the entire holocaust can be fucking explained by his trauma? No, man, these are unforgivable crimes)

I just don't like the mainstream media justifying genocides and murders, somehow…

Damn, in Miracolous they justified the abusive father who terrorized the city (And was complicit in the genocide during akumanization), so in the new productions this shit still exists

Can we stop normalizing murder and genocide, I beg you, creators?

Even if a few characters forgive this monster, it's strange that it takes a short time for the rest… I would just prefer not to forgive the side characters for a long time, it would be natural, because it looks like the greatest crime is to offend someone or steal something from someone from the market, not murder or genocide…

Even if this character saves another, it's strange that this character forgives, WTF, this character with a history could have been faking it, saving doesn't fix all the shit (Even if he dies), yes, I wrote it down because it's an internal frustration with pop culture and the fact that crimes of this type are normalized…

I don't know when I can understand characters forgiving it when that character was a victim of possession or did that crime unintentionally, but that's the only thing I can understand being forgiven so quickly, the problem is that many characters who are immediately forgiven , they did everything with premeditation and it is even more terrifying, good deeds won't erase crimes, so creators, don't do this, I'm begging you…

I just have the impression that these types of crimes are quickly forgiven, I know, fictional characters, but seriously, it looks like they forgive robbery or injury, not murder and genocide… Because if a child's character I can forgive that he forgives crimes (Because is too young to understand the seriousness) it's like adult characters seeing a murderer/genocide, they forgive immediately, it's sus

I'm not in favor of killing the evil characters who commit these crimes (It's taking the easy way out), I just would prefer that these types of characters weren't forgiven too quickly…

Okay, remember about the fundraisers I linked to above

Also remember about the boycott

[abyssal-debonair]

so here’s what’s been going on:

a couple days ago on July 2nd, TGC, again, retweeted fanart featuring whitewashed characters, this time white skykids. now, I’m not on Twitter much anymore, but I was that day. I was among others who commented how offensive it was for TGC to be promoting artwork that utilized this racist practice. 

at first came the usual opposition, I gave my piece, then the convo died down. thought that was the end of it. by the next day, it picked up again with an incredibly mean-spirited tone — insults, bad faith takes, attempts to shame my friends and I. it was pretty disgusting.

eventually another Twitter user reached out to me and shared a Reddit link. someone had reposted a few of our tweets without censoring our usernames to r/skychildrenoflight (an unofficial subreddit not affiliated with TGC) with full intent to mock and deride us. that post currently sits on the subreddit with over 250 upvotes and over 200 comments, the vast majority of which are so stupid, asinine, and unsurprisingly racist. it explains how the discussion picked up again — the thread had been brigaded, my friends and I were being harassed.

I’m not here to talk about why this is an instance of whitewashing and why it is bad — I have already done that, though it’s overdue for me to make a more comprehensive, eloquent write-up.

Sky is a wonderful game. I love Sky, I love the world, I have invested so much creative energy into it. I love playing music on the game. I have multiple fics in the works. I used to engage with lorechat in Skycord on the regular, enjoying sharing my thoughts and discussing theories with others there. I am always fascinated by the artwork the community produces, even started trying to draw myself. the fanart TGC retweeted the other day isn’t even that bad compositionally — the artist is incredibly talented — the problem is the whitewashing that is all too common here.

I have never been in a fandom where a disgustingly racist practice, among others, was so accepted. I have never been in a fandom that harbored bigots who were so hateful towards the kinds of people Sky normalized, that they were playing as and interacted with. this community frequently proclaims itself as welcoming, diverse, and wholesome, but those words are hollow when many perpetuate bigotry then attack those who call it out, saying “it doesn’t exist here” and “you’re making shit up to get mad at” and “your ancestors would be ashamed of you.”

on that last one, I should mention that the commentary got disgustingly personal. I stated that I was Black in the Twitter thread, which many latched on to. they said I was entitled, never faced real racism, was a child, was pulling the race card, was “the real racist,” was why Black people are not taken seriously in discourse.

I shouldn’t have to mention that I have faced racism irl, including violence, including followed by a police officer on campus in the dark that could have ended poorly. I shouldn’t have to mention the racist harassment I have faced both online and offline. I play Sky and engage with its community because the game gave me the idea that I could escape the world that hated me for one where I felt seen and welcomed. if someone was being hateful, adding more to pile of bigotry I have to fucking live with, I thought I would have the backing of the community to support me when I fought back. I was wrong.

what happened over the last couple of days exposed me to some of the worst the Sky community has to offer and it didn’t even surprise me.

it is well documented how people of color like myself are mistreated in white-dominated spaces. our discomfort is viciously denied as false or exaggerated. we are told to suck it up because fandom is supposed to be enjoyed, an escape, “don’t bring politics in here.” except fandom perpetuates the same problems we are trying to escape from. we are not given a damn break.

[procrastinatorproject]

Fic writer review, thank you to @thelaithlyworm  for the tag <3

how many works do you have on AO3?

Ten? Oh no, it’s actualy 12 now!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

86,468

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Grand total of 1: Star Trek: Picard - although my latest offering might branch a bit into other Trek as well.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

“Passengers”

“And a Barrel of Gagh”

“CMO’s Log”

“Preparations”

“Game Night”

Which is actually kinda interesting. I wrote Passengers, Preparations, and Game Night while the fandom was still a lot more active (especially in the Aramis in Space corner), so that makes sense. The CMO’s log has had chapters added every few months, giving it probably the most exposure of any of my fics. Barrel of Gagh, though? I think I’m gonna attribute that to Thimblerig turning it into a truly, TRULY brilliant piece of podfic. Also the fact that it’s whump involving a character played by Santiago Cabrera. ‘tis A Thing..... :D

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try to! I love talking with people in the comments and just... thanking the people who found the time and energy to leave comments. But especially in the last few months I have gotten very bad at keeping up with the comments and now there’s about two dozen that I have neglected to reply to for a painfully long time 🙈

But I will get there! Because I love that kind of interaction!

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

So far, none of them have had angsty endings. Angsty middles, yes, but not endings. I’m just a sucker for everyone being happy in the end. Or at least on the way to being better, and supported and cared for on that way.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t yet, but I’m definitely not opposed. One of the threads of my 200k unpublishable whump scenes takes place in a continuity that has existed in my daydreams for... I wanna say six years at the very least, probably longer. It’s mostly straight-up Star Trek, but with the twist that it involves the Wraith, the telepathic, hive-minded alien race from Stargate: Atlantis that suck the life force out of you with their hands? Or, well, at least a variation thereof.

I once typed up the world building for that particular setting and it took me three hours to try and make it all make sense. So it’s... involved. But not necessarily “crazy”. And I’m not sure I’m ever actually going to publish any of the stories I have set in it (not least because that would envolve finishing any of them and bringing them into a form that is interesting to read for anyone but me...)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nope.

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Hm, not yet. I do enjoy reading smut, but only under very specific circumstances. I think I may eventually try my hand at smut, but the inner prude is still very strong. Writing about Rios and Xyr making out (which, honestly, was really tame, all things considered) made me melt in a puddle of blushing embarrassment, so full-on smut is probably beyond me at the moment. One day!

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Though litigating that in a fandom like ours would be... tricky. ST:Pic is way too small to steal stories outright. But similar or the same ideas pop up all the time. And it’s a complete coincidence. Reading the book that recently came out and that has a kinda similar setting to a lot of my stories (pre-season 1, early in Rios’s history as captain of Sirena, dealing with original characters, holo shenanigans, friendship with Raffi, etc.), I was struck by just how many elements, both scenes or story beats and little details, were similar to things that have cropped up in my writing. And it is entirely coincidental, because I am beyond certain that the author doesn’t read fanfic. Just... for legal reasons. Not to mention I wrote a bunch of the things I saw parallels to while the book was already in production, and some of them are only in my drafts.

So there is a ton of convergent evolution going on in this particular section of the fandom, and trying to litigate who came up with certain plot ideas or character beats when would be a sysiphean disaster. Some things are clear and whenever I use any of them I give credit where I can, but people will have very similar ideas. It just happens. So no, I haven’t had either a full-on story or “an idea” stolen, and I might change my tune if it ever does happen, but so far, I’m trying to practice equanimity, so I’ll be better at it should I ever need it.

have you ever had a fic translated?

Sadly no. My dad keeps complaining that all my fic is in English so he can’t read any of it, but honestly? I’m kinda glad for this very convenient excuse. Maybe if I ever feel like I want to practice my interpreting skills, I will give translating the stories into German a shot. We’ll see. Otherwise, if anyone feels inspired: Have at it! Just let me know, okay?

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not quite. I have a draft of off-the-cuff worldbuilding that I wrote on Discord with @curator-on-ao3 and that I would love to turn into an actual short fic (letters from a conference on holo-ethics), but I haven’t gotten around to it yet.

what’s your all time favorite ship?

I don’t really do shipping.

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I WILL NEVER ACCEPT DEFEAT!!!! One day, I will write the next installment of Star Trek: La Sirena! I have so many ideas for that continuity and those characters. I’m not going to abandon them!

what are your writing strengths?

Hmmmmm. Probably detailed worldbuilding? Ask me something about, say, a technological or cultural aspect of Star Trek and chances are, I have thought about it in the past or will come up with three different sets of intricate lore within half an hour. (Things like... the architecture of San Francisco, or Will there still be taxi drivers? or the treaty between IKEA Intergalactic and the Borg Collective, or the Universal Translator, or Emergency Services or Why There Are Very Few Ambulances On Earth Anymore etceterah etceterah...)

I’m also good at slapping together off-the-cuff plot ideas (if, say, you need an explanation for how Seven and Agnes ended up stranded on a desert island, I could probably give you three different scenarios pretty quickly. Just don’t ask me to make them poignant or actually write them.

I’m also very, very good at beginnings.

what are your writing weaknesses?

Everything that isn’t a beginning. Especially endings, or rather: finishing something, but also just... keeping momentum.

I think my dialogue is somewhat samey and not distinct enough between characters. (Also my witty banter is... let’s just say it doesn’t come to me naturally...)

And I also struggle with keeping things brief and to the point. I can write you 30k of whump covering a span of three hours, but fitting a whole story in the same space? Much more difficult!

I have also avoided writing full-on action so far, but where it has crept in it has always been a struggle and been workshopped a lot with the indefatigable beta.

Otherwise, I don’t know. My self-perception is always a little warped, so I’m not sure what other people would say my weaknesses are.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oof. Well. I have used Spanish sentences in my fic and done the thing where they’re translated in the end note, but I’ve mostly done it sparingly. I’ve also done the ‘“What do you want?” he said in Spanish.’ It’s tricky. But I will likely keep doing it in some instances, even if it’s a bit annoying.

(It also really helps to have a native speaker of Spanish as a beta, even if it’s Spanish from a different region than you’re character.)

Speaking of regional: I’m also torn about the whole “phonetically writing out accents” issue. Some people love it, some people hate it, I’m really unsure because I’m not a native speaker of English, so I’m not even sure I’m consistent in my narrative voice’s regional quirks. So far, I’ve mostly gone with describing that an accent is happening, and only writing out when phrasing actually differs from standard English. Like Ian (Scottish) saying “dinnae” but not writing “I” as “ah” as you’d see on, say, Scottish twitter.

Though it can be a very useful tool if, for instance, you want to indicate a characters accent getting stronger as they get tired or upset. 🧐

Anyway, I don’t think there is one right or wrong answer here and everyones milage will vary.

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

Published? ST:PIC

Actually first? Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Pretty much simultaneously, though I did write more for LotR. On graph paper, mind, with my fountain pen turned upside down so I could write smaller. I still have folders worth of those stories that I urgently need to digitize before they fade and I lose them forever...

what’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I’m going to quote @thelaithlyworm here: I Love All My Children Equally! I honestly couldn’t say. They are different and I love them for different reasons but I love them all.

Thank you for the tag! ❤ I’ve kinda lost track of who all has done this already or has already been tagged, so feel free to ignore me! But I tink I’m tagging @curator-on-ao3, @aini-nufire, @29-pieces, @flowers-creativity, @highfunctioningflailgirl, @cristobalrios and @the-goofball. And anyone else whom I forgot or who feels inspired to do this!

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sarah Ellen Parsons

Sarah Ellen Parsons has 18 X-Files stories at Gossamer and 19 at AO3. If you want high quality fic with interesting characters, go read her stories. Some of my favorites of her fics are The Crouching Thing and My Constant Touchstone Who Makes Me A Whole Person (which are two very different stories!). Big thanks to Sarah Ellen for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

With today's binge-watching culture, I'm not at all surprised. You can watch a bunch of eps and then seek out fic that is where you are in the series.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I took away a writer's group Yes, Virginia, that is still together.  Mostly as friends, but whenever I write something, or someone else writes something, it's the first place we all run for machete beta. I have betad SO MANY novels.

We have a number of folks who are published writers since then and our time in X-Files fic brought us lifelong friendships IRL and made us all better at our craft. The majority of those folks were better writers than I am. And I make my living as a writer in my day-job.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I belonged to a couple of the largest lists and posted there and bitched about the show on usenet with everyone else.  We had our own Yahoo group for beta.  We all had crappy GeoCities websites that we programmed the HTML for ourselves and hooked through various fandom link circles to get traffic to our stories.  But the main method of distribution was the lists.

Fun fact, I found a free page counter thing that I used at work one time through fandom. So fandom pays off in skillz.

Even without social media, we managed to get our stories in front of readers who would enjoy them. Where there's a will, there's always someone ready to step up and find a way.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Again, I have lifelong friends IRL that I got solely from fanfiction. That's the best takeaway.

Fandom disappointed me because it, like everything else, is ruined by people's egos, backstabbing, and petty people who get in positions of power and then use those positions to punch down or dictate. I was young when I was writing X-Files and I still had hope that people would rise to their better natures, so I got involved in various futile efforts to try to make people behave the way I wanted them to behave, I guess. I did a lot of public bitching that didn't serve me or my friends well. I now put that effort into politics, where it does actual good.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

X-files was made for me. It combined science fiction, mystery, horror.  I love all of those genres. Plus there was Scully. No matter how sexist that writer's room was, Scully was awesome. But you kept seeing bad writing. Even in the heyday seasons, like Season 3, there were really terrible eps that made you want to fix things.

I'm a lifelong speculative fiction fan and a published feminist science fiction author. I actually was published before I fell down the fic hole. I got involved in fanfic due to getting my fantasy novel turned down from every major publisher for being "too dark". And I needed to get readers to see my stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't terrible at writing. I got a ton of feedback and it was like market research to see what people wanted to read.

My time in fanfiction made me 100% a better writer than I was.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I went to the X-Files Expo to see if I could make contact with someone from Harper Collins because the tie-in novels sucked so hard.  I got rejected with my pitch as I didn't have a literary agent.

Around that time, a pal who I watched X-Files with IRL was looking for a free X-files wallpaper for her work computer when she found the website where fans in Pennsylvania had fic archived. She read some and wrote to me - "you need to see this, and you can do better."  So I started reading and was.... I probably CAN do better. So I wrote The Batman Plot. And made two friends I'm still friends with with that one story.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Nonexistent.  I couldn't even watch the latest season and I saw only 2 of season one of whatever that was before I gave up. I have never watched the second movie.

X-files is my first fandom bad ex-husband. I loved it SO MUCH, but it betrayed me.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a while, but I didn't end up publishing anything in it. All my stories were novel-length and I was writing so much for work, I never completed anything. I called Snape/Lily when Prisoner of Azkaban was published and got Jossed by Rowling in one of my big ideas. (This is bad fandom ex-husband 2. JKR will never get a dime of money from me again because of her hateful stance on transfolk. I have RL friends who are trans and NO.)

I wrote fic in Supernatural. It was the obvious next thing after X-Files. However, the misogyny and bringing in all the Angel/Devil Christofascist stuff lost me. The ep where they declared all other religions other than Christianity as invalid and killed a Hindu god made me stop watching for good. I know enough Christofascists IRL that I can't tolerate it in my fiction. (Bad fandom ex-husband 3)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This list is far too long to actually make.  But characters I spent time writing about include: Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Co. (I wrote three unpublished Star Trek novels before I found online fandom). King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay, Sherlock Holmes (I wrote a Sherlock Holmes play after seeing "Crucifer of Blood" and entered it in a national competition, where I got very nice comments back.), Mulder, Scully and Krycek, Rowling's Hermione and Snape (like him or not, its masterful characterization), Dean and Sam Winchester, John Winchester and Bobby Singer.  I wrote one comedy story starring Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  A couple of Roswell stories under a different name. Catwoman and Batman. I have some unpublished Avengers fanfic lying around as I'm an OG Marvel fan with a massive comic collection.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I was on a business trip a few years ago and FX had a marathon and I watched part of it when I was in my hotel room. Early seasons are comforting, but I don't go back there now.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic anymore. I read a tiny bit of Star Wars after the second movie because Rian Johnson had it right. Now I don't care. I love Mandalorian, but am content to watch.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to count.  All of YV. Which reminds me, I need to go update our entry at Fanlore. I promised Punk I'd do it a while back.  I need to at least get everyone linked.  Right now it's only Punk and Sab.

But it was a ton of us.  Marasmus, Maria Nicole, Cofax, CazQ, M. Sebasky, Livia Balaban, Kelly Keil, Wen, Ropobop, Jess Mabe, JET, fialka, and a bunch of others that I can't remember their fic names any more, just their real names because I know them all IRL. I need to go back and look up their fic names and link them up there.

In addition to my little group of pals, I loved reading Mustang Sally and Rivka T, Rachel Anton - I keep trying to find her to encourage her to write romance if she's not doing it already, but no dice, Dasha K., Anjou, there were so many great ones, but their names have slipped my mind in the past 20 years.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I'm most known for Prone, and I'm proud of that story for all kinds of reasons, but I think my very best is The Crouching Thing.

I mostly didn't publish anything I didn't think was good and hadn't been machete betaed within an inch of its life, but I'm not sure much of the angsty romance stuff holds up as well. I think it worked when the show was still ON and we were all in that emotional headspace, but probably not now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Funny you ask. I am currently reworking a plot idea I had for an X-Files fic into a contemporary M/M novel, which I will publish under a different pen-name. The plot is the idea I had for X-Files, the characters are very, very different other than one is uptight and the other more easy-going. But no more Mulder and Scully.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I have been making my living as a writer for 25 years. I write the word count equivalent of 5 Tolkein novels a year, just for my day-job.  I am turning back to original fiction, which is where I was before X-Files.  I'm working on the M/M thing, a high fantasy thing, a low fantasy historical thing and a bunch of M/F Regency romances as I get time and energy.  I publish Fantasy and SF under my real name. Romance has pen names as you don't want that getting back to your workplace, either.

SEP is fic only and here she will stay.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have too many ideas to count.  I try to write them down when they come, so I won't forget. At least the outline of the idea. Often a scene. I've been like this my entire life. I started writing novels seriously at 15. I wrote a 500 plus page one about Morgan Le Fay during breaks in high school because "Mists of Avalon" pissed me off so bad as I'd read the original source material and that was a Wicca recruitment polemic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Sarah Ellen was my great-grandma, Parsons was her grandma's last name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Half my friends ARE fic friends. Most of my friends know as does my brother, who thinks writing for free is dumb. This is universally agreed on by non-fic friends who know. My mother still doesn't know about the fic. Just the "real" writing.  I write under a pen name to keep it away from my job and my published work.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

My X-files stuff is up on Gossamer mostly. I'm trying to get the stories all moved to AO3 for all the genres. I'm working on this now.  SEP is really not a living thing anymore, but there was a time when she was more me than me.

If you want to find my "real" non-fic writing, write to me at se_parsons at yahoo dot com and I will point you at it.

And PLEASE someone, hunt down Rachel Anton and get her writing something we all can BUY.  Where are my old Krycek bitches at?  Do any of you know where she is? [Lilydale note: I’ve tried contacting Rachel Anton for this Old School X project but have not had luck. I would love to find her too!]

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

The community I loved has mostly moved on, but I think we left a legacy of solid work crafted out of our love for the show.  Find a living community you love for a show you love.  There are great people out there creating and get involved.  It will be worth it.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 15, 2020)

[kingreywrites]

If you ever experience writer's blocks, what do you do to combat it?

One thing I've noticed that helps me actively fight writer's block is to identify exactly what exactly is blocking me right now! There are definitely different possible reasons, and they all require a different solution, so it's important to see why you can't write in that specific moment. Since that doesn't help much, here are some examples of the things that sometimes block me, and my solutions:

- I can't write because I can't find a good plot: my answer to that is to simply... not find a plot. At least not a very complex one, since I struggle with that a lot. Instead, I take a trope I enjoy writing, or simply an emotion, and I write a few hundred words on it - it might not be my best work, but starting to write always helps me getting out of a block

- I can't write because I don't know what to write: more or less the same answer as above, but one other thing that can help and can be a fun exercise (at least for me!) is to try and put a movie scene into words. That way, you don't have to find an idea, you don't have to come up with a context or brand new characters, but you can still write something!

- I can't write because I'm stuck on this story: taking a step back can definitely help with that, and there's nothing shameful with starting another wip to keep writing without confronting that problem. One thing I also like to do is rewrite a part of the story I've already written (without looking at the og one), because I often find solutions to plot holes by writing, and it doesn't require for me to come up with a whole new scene!

- I can't write because everything I write is awful: this is most likely wrong, but that is very discouraging. When that happens, I try to remind myself that writing something badly is still creating content, and as such, it is possible to edit it! It can be made into something good, while you can't change something that doesn't exist. Also, another thing that helps immensely is having writer friends to hype you up, and remind you that it doesn't suck as much as you think it does!

- I can't write because I'm not inspired: this one is probably the one I struggle with the most, because sometimes you just... have nothing that particularly motivates you, and it sucks. Once again, easy rewrites are a way to not lose the habit of writing, and at that point I'd suggest... well, finding new things that could inspire you - new songs to listen to, new series to watch, new fandoms to explore, new pieces of art you haven't seen yet, everything that could stimulate your creativity!

- I can't write because I don't have the energy for writing: honestly... don't write. Often, a hobby can start to feel like an obligation, but if you feel like writing is actively draining you, it's better to let things rest for a while, so you can enjoy it again when you come back to it. Sometimes it's not as much as a writer's block, than it is your body and your mind telling you to rest!

There's probably a lot of other things, and my methods might not work for you (for example rewriting stuff works really well for me, but not for some other people), but the gist of it is to identify the actual problem beyond the general concept of "writer's block", and see what you can do to fight this particular problem!

[punkedhero]

I’m going to do a soft revamp here. I’ve been considering it for a while & really struggling with myself to go through with it. Lately i’ve just come to realize it’s time to put situations behind me & move forward. Below the cut i’m going to get personal with what’s been going on & to some it’ll be some mindless rambling but to me it’s opening up in ways I haven’t been able to. So i’m throwing my personal ramblings under the read more ( feel free to ignore it ). 

Anyway, this blog is almost a year old! I’ve decided to softly revamp here while I still figure out what to do with Jirou. So what a soft revamping means is:

I’m going to slap a new mains call on the dash.

I’m going to slap a new relationships call on the dash.

I’m deleting old drafts that I can’t find the muse for.

I’m clearing out my inbox so I can reblog some fresh memes.

I am attempting to be a social creature & reach out in hopes of making new friends. 

Alright… this is going to get very personal here. I am sorry for how lengthy this is going to become and for what may seem like rambling but I just need to pour my heart out here and talk about things. I have been so scared these last few months to post anything that could come off as personal or venting in any way because I never want anyone to assume I’m negative or whiney all the time. But I also have to remind myself that this is my blog, this is my safe space, and this is my area to try to reach out to other passionate writers and make friends. I don’t want to log onto here and feel my anxiety spike up. I don’t want to log in anymore and feel uncomfortable looking at the dashboard and play the “oh gosh does this person like me?” game. I am here to write for muses that I feel strongly for and to have a creative outlet of a shared hobby to share with others. I just want to move on from bad experiences here and try to rekindle my love for this particular fandom.

As many of you know I have been in the MHA / BNHA fandom for a good year now, a little longer given my first muse. I can easily say this is the first fandom I was ever warmly welcomed into with open arms. When I started this blog back last February I had no idea I would be walking into such a roller coaster of a community. I have made a handful of amazing friends here who I consider very close to me and love dearly. They are the reason this blog still exists. These friends know who they are and I want them to know I truly appreciate everything they do for me.

However, I’ve also met many individuals who I called my friend at some point or another and have been hurt a lot this last year. Which I know many of us have been struggling last year because phew the world sucks right now. Regardless, I have felt so uncomfortable lately with being on my blog because I’ve had to cut some ties with individuals who I no longer got along with or couldn’t see myself staying friends with any longer. That’s human, that happens. Everyone has the right to unfollow, unfriend, and block anyone else that just isn’t their friend any longer. It’s life. To individuals that I’ve hurt through this process of finding myself I am sorry. I am sorry we could no longer get along or found ourselves walking different paths. I wish you the best and hope that you’re doing well. You deserve that and I’ll always respect your wishes!

  These last few months I have been battling with my mental health furiously. What many mutuals do not know because honestly I do not make a big deal about it is that I’m bipolar and have been fighting off depression. As many of us are still currently! And for those that are doing the same my heart goes out to you & I hope you’re doing better lately! This season sucked, truly. Personally, I found it difficult to reach out to friends and carry out conversations because some days I just do not have the energy to even type or keep up with anything. That’s no one’s fault. It’s just how it is sometimes. But despite that I want to reintroduce positivity back into my life. Because the only way I can be happy is to make myself happy.

  I’d love to meet some new friends who I can share laughs with, ships with, and make this year a far better year than what last year gave us. I want to rekindle my current friendships so we can continue to write together. Basically what i’m rambling on about is that I’d love to have the opportunity to have a lot of friends. A distraction from work, school, and family to come home with new ideas for writing is so amazing and I’d love to have that back. Thank you to anyone who’s read all of this and thank you for sticking around. On this blog anniversary coming up I’m going to be gushing about all my mutuals and looking forward to moving on from what last year was. I love you all, thank you for being so supportive!

[the-friendly-struggling-writer]

The Wandering Side - Chapter 6

Sanders Sides (Web Series)          

                                 Characters:                                

Logic | Logan Sanders

Anxiety | Virgil Sanders

Morality | Patton Sanders

Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders

Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders

Deceit Sanders

Original Side(s) (Sanders Sides)          

                                 Additional Tags:                                

Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides)

My First Fanfic

fluff i hope

My First Work in This Fandom

Domestic Fluff

remus gives gifts to everyone

Disney References

Movie Night

Sympathetic Deceit Sanders

Panic Attacks

Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders         

Warnings: Panic Attack in this chapter

“Hi Patton, Hi Logan,” Wander said as they entered.

“Patton gives the cookies,” Roman asked. Roman and Remus then tried to give the biggest puppy dog eyes to Patton.

“Why are they doing that?” Logan asked unsure of what they were doing and why.

“Well kiddo, they are trying to look cute and get me to give them the cookies I made earlier,” Patton said.

“Sorry, Patton. I hold them about the cookies,” Wander said.

“It’s ok kiddo, here you go,” Patton said as he handed a cookie to each of us. This was when Deceit and Virgil walked in. Deceit’s eyes light up at the sight of the cookies. Patton seeing the others handed them a cookie each as well.

The cookies that Patton made were amazing though Wander, looking at the faces of the others it seemed that everyone else thought so as well “thanks Patton,” Wander said, “they are really, really good.”

“Thanks,” Patton said and then everyone else agreed. Deceit especially but trying to look like they didn’t care but they did.

“Why don’t we watch another film,” Roman suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” Wander said not actually sure if they normally watched this many films or if it was to try and get used to having them about. Wander liked how things were, but they didn’t know if this was going to change or what. This was when Wander’s breathing picked up its speed. ‘What if they are only acting like this because I’m new. Or that they don’t know which side I belong to. What if I’m a ‘dark side’ or a ‘light side’. I don’t even know, I haven’t existed for more than 36 hours or so. Wander was panicking and Virgil was the first to notice what was happening, and that Wander was lost deep in their thoughts.

“Hey Wander,” Virgil said in a calm and steady voice as not to surprise them. “Focus on me ok. We are going to slow down your breathing. Okay.” Wander nodded looking at Virgil. They were aware of how strange their body felt. Like they were just numb all over and there was nothing that they could do about it. They didn’t know what was happening to them or how to stop it.

“In for four seconds,” Wander sucked in a deep breath that they could, “hold for seven seconds,” Wander tried but started coughing, “that’s ok,” Virgil said continuing to help. “In for four, hold for seven and out for eight,” Wander’s breathing finally slowed down after a few attempts. “That’s great Wander almost there,” Wander had finally calmed down but was drained of any energy that they might have previously had. “Let’s go sit down on the couch,” Virgil said to Wander, “Roman could you put on a film, Patton could you make Wander a warm drink.”

“I’ll make one for each of us all,” Patton said unsure of how else to help Wander and Virgil.

“I will also help with that,” Logan said as not to feel useless in the current situation.

Once Virgil had helped Wander along to the living room and helped them onto the couch. Roman had set up the tv and the DVD player and was just about to start the nightmare before Christmas as it was getting to the colder part of the year.

As they were set down, Wander clasped into the soft pile of pillows that were on the couch. staring off into a corner of the room Wander wasn’t even taking in what the others were saying.

“How did this not happen?” Deceit asked slipping back into his normal speaking. “What couldn’t have happened to cause this?”

“I don’t know. They could have been overwhelmed by something or that their mind got stuck on one thing and their thoughts spiraled. It might have been any combination of factors,” Virgil explained having the most idea of what happens to someone who is having a panic attack.

“Why it happens doesn’t matter at this time. We can figure things out later. We just need to help them relax and rest.” Remus chimed in so that they all could calm down. Remus and Deceit were also just about used to panic attacks from Virgil and how to help him.

As everyone in the living room piled up onto the large couch, Logan and Patton came in with a tray each with hot chocolate and different types of snacks that people may want. Such as crips, chewy sweets, the rest of the cookies after Patton remembered how much Wander liked then to try and help them feel better and even a bar of the deodorant that Remus liked that was really white chocolate nougat in the shape of deodorant.

Setting the trays n a nearby coffee table. Patton and Logan handed them to the others ready in postin on the couch. “Hey kiddo,” Patton said trying to get Wander’s attention. It had taken a minute for them to register that Patton was speaking to them.

“Yeah,” they replied slowly in a quiet voice as not to be too loud.

“Do you want some hot chocolate or a cookie or something else,” Patton asked to go get it for them.

“Don’t worry about it Patton I don’t want to be a brother.” Wander said thinking back to their earlier thoughts, and how much trouble they were causing for everyone around them.

“Wander,” Patton paused to think of the best wording that they could, “no matter what, you will never be a brother for any of us.” and as Patton finished speaking everyone else nodded in agreement. Remus was doing this too but to him, he was also trying to see how fast he needed to move his head before his neck snapped or if he even could do that at all.

Wander through this over for a moment and then replied, “The hot chocolate, please,” Wander’s eyes wandered over to the tv. The film had started playing and Roman and Remus were singing along to the opening song. While they were doing that Remus was thinking up ideas to prank or scare Roman, themed around the nightmare before Christmas.

Patton went over to the tray and grabbed the hot chocolate for them. When Patton gave Wander the drink, they didn’t reply. This caused the sides to look at each other in concern apart from Virgil. Who even though he loved the nightmare before Christmas hadn’t taken their eyes off of Wander. As if to see for any sign of panic or distress coming from the newest and youngest acting side. Which said something considering that Pattn acted like the youngest most of the time.

Climbing on top of the couch Patton curled up for another movie night all together as a family.

Chapter 7

[hazzabeeforlou]

Well, it’s four years to the day. Anyone interested in an anniversary ramble, it’s below <3 

When I’d woken up from the first surgery two days earlier, it was kinda like existing in another plane; I couldn’t open my eyes or breathe because it felt like knives were slicing into my lungs. The nurse asked me “should I try giving you morphine?” and I said no, because she’d informed me they already had given me three IVs of Percocet, and I, even in my blind teeth-chattering state, was worried about an overdose. So that’s how my week four years ago started, and it culminated in a second emergency surgery that removed a twins-sized cyst and left me with a huge scar and chronic pain. All that badness to say, there was a point in that first year (many points, honestly) where I wished I had died on that operating table, where I honestly thought life could offer no fulfillment or fun or happiness anymore. My career was shattered, my body useless, my mind suffering from trauma (I learned later this is why I stuttered afterwards, and forgot words, and couldn’t remember names or read music easily for over six months). It was in this fragile state that I found Harry, and his music. You’ve all heard that story. 

Near-death experiences really mess with your mind and your perception of the world. More perhaps when they’re ‘fated’ things. I’m a bit of a witch, I guess, and I’d had this feeling since I was little that I would die young. I couldn’t explain it, I just knew. So I never made plans for a wedding or dreamed of a house or... idk, just anything future like that. When the cyst happened it felt inevitable. This thing was a flaw in my genetic makeup that, save for modern medicine, would have killed me, was killing me, slowly crushing my vital organs and my lungs. It was another year or so later, after I’d joined the fandom proper, that I realized the coincidence, but I was still so fragile then that it felt like fate all over again, and I felt so fucking guilty, so wretched to have survived, when I found out that the same day doctors gave me another chance at life, they told Jay hers would end. In fandoms like this people often cling to little things that tie them to their idols and make them feel closer, and I was no exception, but this proved too much. I remember absolutely sobbing about being alive and doing nothing useful with my life when Louis’ mum was gone, when all those babies have to grow up without her. Guilt led to this weirdly obsessive drive to do do do, to make, to create, to not waste another chance at living. All my creativity these past four years, from fic to music to art, is some kind of attempt at making myself worth it. Constantly there’s this pressure to not idly spend time; a ticking clock might as well live in my scull. 

When my musician friends ask why I’m so chill about auditions, why I don’t deflate like a flower at rejection anymore, I want to scream because it’s not going to kill me, because I know how lucky I am to even be here now, because this no longer is the worst that can happen to me. A few days ago I had another ultrasound to see if the one remaining ovary is acting up, and I’ll know soon. It has started to before... it’s going to be one of those life-long things. A year ago I had two CTs because the scar tissue caused problems with my intestines, and in future could crimp them up. These are things at the back of my mind every day, the foundation of my house of cards. 

BUT. And here’s why I wrote this. I have lived so much life in four years. Life that, despite the pain, was worth it. Not only have I found joy in this fandom and in the boys’ music, and in writing fic and doing fan art and reading SO many beautiful love stories from you all, but I’ve found my sister and niece and nephews, I’ve loved the cutest bunny, I’ve kissed a girl (okay, more than kissed) I’ve realized and embraced that I am QUEER? I’ve written a nearly 100k novel? I’ve played so many BEAUTIFUL exciting concerts? I’ve planted beautiful flowers and taken incredible hikes and seen mountains and rivers in the glow of sunset and I’ve sat around musky fires that warmed the chill air and I’ve cheered for movies and laughed at hilarious group chats and read soul-stirring books and eaten delicious meals... and I’ve come out as a liberal to all my family and friends (which is the only coming out I’ll do for a while but still a BIG thing) and gotten a tattoo (thank you Phoenix) and immersed myself in crystals and energy healing and witchy things and MOST importantly, I’ve made so so many wonderful friends, in person and here. And it’s interesting to reflect on the different roles both Harry and Louis have played in my dealing with guilt and grief and hopelessness; and to once again realize just how important they've been in my life and in the lives of so many others who have found universal comfort and belonging under their wings. 

So what I’m saying is, no matter the pain you find yourself in, no matter the little voices that say it’s not worth it, I’m here to tell you that it IS. And not just for other people, don’t just stay because they would miss you, stay because there is beauty and goodness out there. Happiness is the mountain peak we’re all told to climb towards, as if you can achieve this state of contentment that lasts forever. That’s unrealistic. There will be days that suck and weeks that seem endless. But amidst all that there will be joy, and that’s what makes life worth living. Love you all, Toni

[daesungindistress]

not sure if you've been asked this before but do you think you will return to writing fic about bb and if so, would you include sr in your stories?

The last time I was asked this was back in March or April. And it’s difficult to give a final answer. I want to return to writing. The thought of abandoning all my WIPs and notes and ideas forever is a depressing one. And if I’m being honest, the longer I go without making something, be it art or fic, the emptier I feel.

Do I think I will? Return to writing? That I’m less certain about. The events of this year have left me feeling a bit disillusioned. Disenchanted. Disappointed. Yeah, they all kinda have the same meaning, but I guess I’m just trying to convey how this thing with Seungri, this tragedy, and the ongoing struggle within the fandom seems to have slowly stripped away my ability to separate BB’s public personas (and private selves) from the fictional versions we as writers play with. It’s broken down some necessary barriers.

The situation we’re in is too serious, too real, too heavy. And in my heart I feel there’s still too much uncertainty about their future. That uncertainty is steadily chipping away at the compartmentalization that let me comfortably turn them into characters and use them to tell stories. When I sit down and stare at all these notes from a happier, easier time I no longer see what I once did. I wonder, “Who wrote this? When? And how?” There’s some guilt too. Like, who am I to toy with them like this, to reduce them to fanfic fodder when so much has gone so wrong? Some fans have successfully escaped into fiction this year to forget; for me it’s the other way around. It’s been nine months but in a way the scandal is still front and center in my mind, and fanfic can’t overpower that. If anything, I’m almost… afraid to touch it again.

For example… the one fic I finished and posted this year, Sugar Kiss, was a smutty ToDae oneshot… and, regrettably, a sequel to a DaeRi fic. It was something I started late last year and had mostly completed by January, well before the scandal reached a boiling point. All the fic needed by then was a little polish, and it took me until July to find the energy for it. The teaser/summary was “It’s Daesung’s turn to be a bad influence” because in the fic before it he and Seungri had gotten up to some ~naughty fun~ together and Daesung decided he liked it enough to pass it on. So in Sugar Kiss Daesung shares what he learned from Seungri with Seunghyun. The joke was that Seungri persuaded him into mischief. Seunghyun even has a line in which he calls Seungri “a bad influence,” which one reader got really upset over, but I didn’t mean it in a bad way when I initially wrote it earlier this year. It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Just some silly, sexy, lighthearted fun, nothing more. I felt a little iffy posting it on the heels of Seungri’s scandal but in the end threw caution to the wind and went ahead with it.

Then, a few days later, the news about Daesung’s building broke and suddenly people were saying, “Daesung might be in on it!” and “He’s just like Seungri!” and “Daesung said they’d become close recently!” And I was like 😰 I had a few days to feel accomplished, after that it was pure regret. It’s like nothing is safe. Things I enjoyed before without thought or care… just aren’t that fun anymore. It’s really sucked the joy out of storytelling using real people. The thought lurks: what if some of the questionable stuff I write about them turns out to be, well, real? And then I have to either denounce or defend what I’ve written. People are still leaving kudos on that fic and its prequel, and every time I get the notification I wonder what they really think of it.

Anyway, to answer your other question: even though my view of Seungri has soured significantly since spring, my feelings on the matter of his involvement in my future fanfics, if any, have remained… largely the same. I think. The last time I talked about this I said I might continue to include him, but clarified that it would depend on the timeline (pre/post 2019) and setting (canon compliant, alternate universe). And also what role needs filling. Even after all we’ve learned about him, Seungri is still an interesting character to me with traits that I consider useful for the types of stories I like to tell. He’s a good foil for Daesung due to their opposing personalities, interests, lifestyles, values…. and for this reason I’ve always had a tendency to depict him as someone who brought conflict to the group in some form or another. His fans who found their way to my fanfics sometimes asked me to be kinder to him. Let’s just say now there will be no more pressure to pull my punches. That said, I expect any parts he does have will be small and fairly insignificant. A line or two, maybe even just a mention. My goal isn’t to pretend he never existed, just to avoid giving him undue attention that might, y’know… encourage people to like him.

…there is, however, one possible exception to that. Carnivores. Don’t think I’ve touched on this here yet? I had tentative plans to continue that series one day. Yes, even though I swore it was over. The story and setting is still meaningful to me and those characters feel more divorced from their inspirations, the Big Bang members, than any of my others. “They have lives of their own,” a reader once said to me, and I have to agree. You could change their names and I would still recognize them. I hoped it would be nothing too serious this time, nothing too intricate, just a oneshot catching up with the pack in their new home a year or two down the road. Here’s the problem though: Seungri was finally going to get something he’d always wanted. Something hinted at in the final scenes of Innocence & Instinct. And I wanted to scratch the surface of how they dealt with that.

Too bad 2019 has all but blown those plans to pieces. Carnivores!Seungri is not Big Bang’s Seungri or Lee Seunghyun, he is just a fictional character bearing his name and likeness, but even so, the absolute last thing I want to do right now is give him something he’s always wanted. No matter how I look at it, the thought of writing him into an important role comes off as really distasteful to me right now. So if that’s ever going to materialize, yeah, it’s gonna be awhile.

But wait. What if I give him something he’s always wanted… and then take it away. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? It came to me one day months ago, how I could work the events of this year into the series. Some parts of Carnivores do mirror real life events involving BB (such as Jiyong, Youngbae, Seunghyun, and Daesung confronting Seungri in Dreams Like Ashes over fears that he’s going to leave them for his newly formed group of human friends. Though I sort of glossed over it, this was based on things they were saying about him back in 2016, which was when that fic was written). So working his recent rise and fall into a future installment wouldn’t exactly be a new approach for this series. You could even say I’m a little intrigued by the idea.

Still, it’s too soon. Too fresh. And I don’t know how it ends, in this world or that one, or if I even have the creative energy to tackle something so… disruptive. Reality is hard enough. So until then, those plans will stay right where they’ve been all this time, boxed up in a dusty corner of my mind. I hope that one day I can reach back inside that box and share what I find with you all. Until then, I think what I need is a clearer sense of direction from BB… and more time to work up the courage to try.

[storiesofwildfire]

UPDATED: 02/07/2020

This is an independent roleplay blog for Loki Laufeyson based primarily off of a mixture of Norse Mythology, Marvel, and God of War 2018. I am not in association with Marvel or Sony and claim no profits from this blog. This is also not a fandom blog, meaning most of the posts will be in-character responses to threads and asks. All reblogs will be in relation to Loki or any of the characters or ideas that make up their world. IMPORTANT INFO ON LOKI: It's extremely important to keep in mind that Loki is a gender fluid shape-shifter and may appear in any number of forms and genders at any given time. Loki has very few limits on what they can do with their body and they will not always appear to other muses as MCU's Tom Hiddleston version of Loki. This can and will include variations to Tom Hiddleston's Loki, Lady Loki, Jotun Loki, and many other forms. Loki may be male, female, both, or neither at any given point in time. It is up to me and my discretion of when to implement Loki's shape-shifting abilities. Bottom line, don't expect Loki to be a cis-male who is always in a completely male form. It's out of character and simply won't happen and even if Loki presents male or female, that does not mean that Loki's body beneath the clothing matches that presentation. Assume nothing.

ACTIVITY

This blog is selective and private, meaning I will be selective with who I interact with and/or follow and I will only roleplay with mutuals. My ask box and my IMs are open to non-mutuals, however. If I’m not following you, but you’d like to interact, don’t be afraid to shoot me a message. If we talk and I like you, chances are, I’ll follow you back. If you want to send a random ask, feel free. You don’t have to my mutual to use my ask box. I can be an extremely slow roleplayer at times. Please understand that this is a hobby and while I love what I do, I cannot be here all the time. Sometimes IC replies and OOC replies will come slowly. I am also a writer outside of Tumblr, so sometimes my personal and professional projects have to come first and often suck up a lot of my creative energy. That said, I am not on Tumblr at all during the weekends. Starting Friday night and usually extending to Sunday night/Monday morning, I log out of Tumblr completely. This is because I am typically very busy on the weekends, but also because I need to take a step back from Tumblr once in a while just to keep my sanity. I'm more motivated to write on the days I promise to be here if I can look forward to a few days off at the end of the week. It's just to give me some peace of mind and a bit of breathing room. On days I am not on Tumblr, I am likely still on discord--which is available for mutuals upon request! Sometimes my blog will update through a queue so it is still active even when I am not physically on. I do this regularly but not consistently. If you're curious as to whether or not something is a queued post, you can check my tags. All queued posts have a queue tag on them!

SIDE MUSES

I actually roleplay as more than just Loki on this blog. It also includes four of Loki’s children ( the children I have chosen to incorporate from mythology ); Hel, Fenrir, Jörmungandr, and Sleipnir. There are also a mixture of secondary muses that help make up Loki’s world. Most of these characters are the mun’s original characters, but canon characters like Fandral ( I loooooove writing Fandral! ) may show up on occasion. It’s important to remember that this blog is a Loki-oriented blog, though. While I do roleplay as numerous secondary characters, this is not meant to be interpreted as a multi-muse blog. If you would like to interact with any of my secondary characters, chances are, you’ll need to interact with Loki first. I do, however, love getting to use my secondary characters, so if you're interested in them, please let me know! It's also important to remember that while some of these characters are canon to either mythology or Marvel, they are my own interpretation of them and may not 100% be accurate to canon. While canon characters do exist in the side muses, most of them are original characters and are not available for public use. These are my characters, my ideas, and my world-building. Please do not use them without permission or claim any information as yours.

PREFERENCES & HATE

I do not roleplay with anyone under the age of 18. It's nothing personal to the younglings of Tumblr, but for my own personal comfort, I'd rather keep my interactions to 18+ only. I prefer plotting over jumping into an interaction that has no basis. Memes are great and I love them, but I have very little interest in maintaining threads that have no substance. I prefer novella threads, but I am willing to do shorter para threads as well. i am not willing to do one-liners. A thread has to have some meat to it in order to hold my interest. I do not tolerate hate at all. Anonymous or not, I will not deal with hate directed at me or any other person. NSFW (meaning sex, violence, torture, gore, and other adult themes) will be present. I roleplay a large range of topics, including very dark and sensitive subjects. I do not personally have many triggers when it comes to what I am willing to explore on this blog. Dark themes will be very present. I will not censor my muse but I will tag triggering content accordingly. I tag by a 'tw; triggering content title' system. Self harm, for example, would look like this: tw; self harm

SHIPPING

Simply put, I love shipping, but it's not the sole reason I'm here. If I ship, I prefer to ship in a setting that's well thought out and plot-driven. The ship is great, but there needs to be more than just the ship. I don't ship for the sake of shipping and I only ship based on chemistry. If you want to ship with me but don't know how to approach the subject, just send me a message and we can discuss it!

WHAT KEEPS ME FROM FOLLOWING?

Blogs who have no about page. This is the essence of a character. Without it, I have no idea if I would be interested in your muse or not. This is staple for canons and OCs. Anyone who makes me feel like a number. I do not expect anyone to make me an exclusive partner. You are more than welcome to roleplay with dupes, but I do not want to be added to a collection. I am an individual, not a collector’s item. Valuing unique portrayals is so important Non-roleplay-blogs/self inserts. People who I have witnessed abusing or attacking other role-players. If you have an issue with another role-player, handle it in private. Do not attack them publicly. I have been a victim of “call-out culture” and I will not deal with it. I understand that some call-out posts are necessary to warn people of harmful people and toxic environments, however, more often than not, I see call-out posts that throw around false accusations and complain about personal problems rather than actual, problematic behavior. Unless undeniable proof is provided, I will never be part of the culture of publicly slandering someone. To follow up on that last point, if I see a lot of ooc drama and constant negativity on a blog, I won't follow. People who godmod. If you do godmod me, I will message you about it. If you are unwilling to discuss the issue, the thread will be dropped. Anyone who thinks they have the right to tell me or anyone else what they can and cannot do with their blogs. Roleplaying is about writing and exploring a wide variety of topics. Fiction is not reality. A muse’s actions are not the mun condoning said actions. If you cannot understand that fiction is a way for writers to explore things outside of everyday life, dark or otherwise, this is not the blog for you.

EXCLUSIVES

Being exclusive is something that I am willing to do, but on very rare occasion. It takes a lot of personal love and interaction with a mun to be willing to make them exclusive with my muse. This isn't just about IC interactions being amazing, but also an OOC connection with the other mun as well. An exclusive status will only be offered if it is returned. If you are my exclusive, I am yours. EXCLUSIVES LIST: THISFORGOTTENLORE - Bigby Wolf, Brienne of Tarth, Bruce Banner & Hulk, Geralt, Heimdall, Illya Kuryakin, Jaskier, Khal Drogo, Kratos, Robert Jekyll & Hyde, The Iron Bull, Yennefer OFCHARREDBONES - Johnny Blaze FANDRALXTHEXSTABULOUS - Fandral If you would like to talk about being an exclusive and we already interact, please feel free to shoot me a message!

ABOUT THE MUN

Hi there! My name is Amber and I'm in my mid-twenties. I've just finished up a master's degree in creative writing for entertainment, meaning I take great pride and joy in writing stories in just about any sort of medium. I primarily focus on prose (as demonstrated by this blog) and film/television scripts, but I also dive into comics and other mediums from time to time. I've been roleplaying Loki for over six years now. They have truly become my life-long muse and they even inspires my off-Tumblr projects quite a lot. Aside from Loki, I do have a long history of both writing and roleplaying including a number of canon characters and original characters. I'm not going to go on and on about myself because I don't want to bore you! Just know that I'm very friendly, kind of shy, and if you want to write with me and you come at me wanting to plot, I will probably be over the moon about it. I thrive on plotting and world-building and if you have an interest in doing those things with me, we'll get along great. If you would, by chance, like to know more about me and why I roleplay as Loki, you can click HERE and HERE. I do run a couple of blogs ( though Loki is my main! ). You can find all of them here: LOKI LAUFEYSON ( and supplement characters ) - STORIESOFWILDFIRE. MULTI-MUSE - GRIMOIREWEAVERS

CREDITS

Background, popup background, and mobile header graphics made by the incredible and lovely Smudge ( aka thisforgottenlore ), tweaked by myself. Background art by the extremely talented SCEITH-A. Popup background and mobile header art by the equally as talented ROSSDRAWS. Personal graphics, unless stated otherwise, were made by myself. Icons are a mixture of free-to-use icons (and gifcons) found and reblogged on Tumblr and my own personal icons which were editted from raw screen caps and created by me.

[alterlifes-a]

i love u and the psd u have for mirio is beautiful!!! can u rec some bnha blogs? or maybe anime blogs in general, thank u!

you want blog recs ?! i got blog recs ! also , i did have another anon a few months ago asking for blog recs , so i’ll only be recommending b.nha blogs , since i can do non - b.nha blogs another day ! ALSO , thank you so much for your input on my psd for mirio  !!  i’m so proud of it , as well tbh !  ❤︎ i’m putting this under a read more so i can gush and not clog up peoples’ dashes !! also these are in order of my following list rn , so it’s in no specific order .

@dualbred  /  @soarsun  /  @eletriq  /  sunny’s other blogs  ❤︎  sunny is someone whose name describes what they are perfectly : he’s a ray of sunshine in your day ! he’s very charming, creative, and sweet, and he’s the perfect person to go to if you want to plot and walk out of the conversation just . screaming . whether that’s good or bad , depends .@frogblep  ❤︎  idk if birdie is okay with a lot of people following since they’re really private + super mutuals-exclusive, but they’re so cute and have such a great personality ! 10/10 would chirp .@ichorsun  ❤︎  wow i love hide the canon character . but for real , rye has such a well - crafted oc , and this blog deserves all the attention it can get !@dprssin  /  @quirkgifter  /  @mcka  ❤︎  listen i know nanners is on hiatus cause the fandom sucks ( which is why i also linked his d . va ) , but that doesn’t erase the fact that he’s got one of the best [ and only , from what i’ve seen hsdkfjs ] nanas out there . also , we support n adore his native american mixed aizawa , thank you . @toughfist​  /  @torncape  /  @tailsfur  ❤︎  nora is so so kind and honestly just a huge burst of sunshine in your day ! also sakkun is such a cute oc tbh . it’s obvious she puts a lot of love into her muses , so go check out her blogs !!@knowthem​  /  @inneall​  ❤︎  i haven’t interacted much with jade yet , but honestly if you write iida i already trust you … sfkjs but honestly speaking , jade is a welcome and warm presence on the dash . just having them around is grounds for a good time !@pyrrhe​  /  @spireheart​  ❤︎  ram my love … my buddy in great music taste … she’s your local lesbian who’s here to kick butt and write amazing replies and guess what … she’s all out of butts to kick .@sepiternal​  /  @amariodal​  /  @hwitzr​  /  @solsace​ ( shut up , will’s an anime — )   ❤︎  rory literally made a mirio because i wanted one , what more could you ask out of a son … but really , he’s one of my longest standing friends and no matter rain or shine , i know i can count on them to be vivacious and original @lacquarms​  /  @jetlegs​  ❤︎  if anything happened to theus i will personally manifest in every tumblr user’s room and delete all of their blogs and destroy the entire website myself . but tbh , theus is so amazing and charismatic !! 100% recommendation from me@whiphero​  ❤︎  hansie is just one of those people who , like , you see a new blog followed you and you go to check it out , then you see hansie’s name on there and it’s just an instant follow tbh .@palmfed​  /  @wuvlite​  /  @dphium​  ❤︎  punpun is always very funny and super multifaceted in his skills … he has so much creative energy , but also he’s the друг friend so like . tread carefully . oh . he’s already there . clicking the follow button . you’re on your own now . godspeed .@amerismash​​  ❤︎  FOSTEEEER [ i yell so loud i break the sound barrier ] follow foster , just trust me on this . you won’t regret it .@tikkvn​  /  @montlady​​  ❤︎  cass radiates big lesbian energy by merely existing and if that’s not the kind of presence you aim to be … but for real , befriending cass is going to be nothing but fun times and a nonstop waterfall of support . they’re so lovely and super valid and just the kind of person you naturally want as a friend !@ohaul​​  ❤︎  i’ve yet to interact much with veggie , but honestly ? i already trust them . sfhjdks but seriously , they seem real cool ! doctors say you need veggies everyday so here’s a perfect chance for you to get your daily dose !@c0py​​  ❤︎  bruno this icon of yours radiates so much chaotic feeling … but honestly , bruno is great and you gotta check out their monoma 10 / 10 say critics ( me )@natsutodoroki​​  /  @ksri​  /  @negativeat​  ❤︎  i’m not over the fact that you managed to get such canon urls but hskfjds clarrie is honestly such a kind and charismatic person , and the way she writes her muses makes it evident they put a lot of thought into how the character is portrayed in canon itself . also natsuo is clarrie’s oc i don’t make the rules .@heartmindcd​​  ❤︎  okay first of all , can i just say : vincent’s art ? [ fans myself … ] but honestly as a fellow artist in the rpc , i love seeing other muns’ art on my dash and vincent is no exception . he has such a distinct style , and this also translates into how he portrays shinsou ! he obviously has a good handle on how shinsou works as a character , and seeing him in my notes or on the dash is always grounds to make me smile !@yunihon​​  ❤︎  endy is the best , eri is the best … but seriously , endy’s eri ( that sounds like a tongue twister ) is amazing . 5/5 best daughter , would adopt and protect from all harm ( please protect eri from all harm )@charistatic​  /  @ofiignition​​  ❤︎  i have so many feelings for gina and tbqh they are all positive . we kind of brushed shoulders with one another in a previous fandom , but now that i’ve gotten to better know her , i can say for sure that i will personally destroy you with both my hands if you make gina upset in any way . but for real , she’s caring and so fun to be around . also we scream about promised neverland together , i mean , what’s not great about that ?!@riteous​​  ❤︎  eulalie has a b.nha verse on this blog so i’m putting them here .  ok ok but thanos is singlehandedly one of my most favourite oc’s in the world . whenever eulalie posts about them i’m just : eyes : : ok_hand : : 100 : … also they look … stunning . seriously , if you’re going to follow eulalie for like the most bare bone reason , follow because their muse is the prettiest but stay because the mun is a wonderful person .@faceplain​​  ❤︎  kit’s sero is iconic … you should check out their blog !! and if not it’s okay , i’m activating my own tape quirk to slingshot you over there right now as i type .@trapsminds​​  ❤︎  i literally look at sunne’s icon on my dash and i immediately light up into a smile , and if that isn’t any indication that this is a shinsou worth following then idk what ever will be .@bgku​  /  @kwurk​​  ❤︎  CLOOOOOOO —- [ i continue this for 3 hours straight until you click clo’s blog ] ok but really i love clo’s headcanons for bakugou so much … even the smallest , two word post will leave me going :D !!@raijima​  /  @slipstep​​  ❤︎  ryou has a b.nha verse so i’m putting him on here too but also vanur is such an imaginative person and i love every single idea that pops out from his head . he writes such amazing and divine original characters , they feel like they’re real and palpable .@tapeties​  /  @exposensei​​  ❤︎  REID I GIVE YOU ALL MY LOVE RIGHT NOW !!! tbh when i think of aizawa , i just think of reid in general … his penmanship with any character is * chef - kisses my fingers *@chargebolted​  /  @noquirk​​  ❤︎  if you’re not following prince i’m going to come into your house and steal all of your left shoes . ok but really , prince is not only inventive and innovative , he puts a unique and loving touch on every single character he writes . literally ! what more can you ask for ?! i actually mix myself up because i’m so accustomed to writing about / with his deck that i forget he isn’t canon , which . hello , hori ? do it . now . puppeteer and analyzer spin off WHEN !?@trickry​​  ❤︎  you’re lucky i’m putting you on here because i literally hovered over your blog just to double check things like i did with everyone else’s and i got met with that stupid header oh my go — ( but follow hunni actually )@thuskindlyiscatter​​  ❤︎  what do you mean ruby isn’t a canon bnha character ( august just ended but i’m extending it . today is august 37th . so you have to follow august during this month . )@rdriots​​  ❤︎  you know how sometimes you just associate a mun or muse with one another ? like , if you thought of the name tooru , a lot of people would think of me ? i think of kiri and one of the first blogs that comes into mind is this one , because leo’s kiri is just that iconic .@viperot​​  ❤︎  don’t follow if you don’t want madoka to release 10 , 000 snakes into your muse’s house . actually it doesn’t matter , they’re going to do it anyway . i hear their reviews on yelp are awful , though :(  in all seriousness , lemon is one of the best muns i know out there . they’re naturally just a great person . #geminisolidarity@scartar​​  ❤︎  i would kill for zander . like . literally . i would kill for zander . seeing zander on my dash brings me so much unbridled joy … also they’re the person who likes every single one of your posts , get THAT kind of support in your life tbh .@quirkedit​  /  @heartslight​​  ❤︎  sparky log onto your monoma . sparky log onto your monoma . log onto your monoma , sparky . sp@ondespair​​  /  @onfaith​  ❤︎  who is this man i don’t know him he just randomly appeared on this blog rec and definitely does not have a super well - thought out and developed oc .@killslove​​  ❤︎  rose logged onto his himiko yesterday and i am still screaming about it more than 24 hours later … but honestly , rose puts SOOOOOO SO SO SO SO much thought into how himiko works as a character , and that makes me happy because i also wrote / psychoanalyzed her for a brief moment and tbh rose ? articulates all of that research into a well fleshed out and believable interpretation of her .@creatied​​  ❤︎  i went to type in the url but then just typed in ‘ maddy ’ like an idiot . but yeah . maddy . she’s beauty she’s grace she loves momo so much and you can very much tell . she isn’t super active rn and that’s understandable but whenever she does post i am heart eyes !@implosiveexplosive​​  ❤︎  HONESTLY JUST LOOK AT JAY’S WRITING AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN’T FOLLOW OH MY GOD IT’S GORGEOUS@boydazzle​​  ❤︎  egg est un auteur magnifique ! aussi … voulez-vous du fromage ? :)@keiuu​​  ❤︎  QUEENIE IS LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING PEOPLE ON THIS WEBSITE this isn’t even my opinion it’s literally a FACT  thank you goodBYE@aerve​​  ❤︎  can you tell i’m writing so much i’m running out of things to say without just repeating 20239 times that everyone is amazing ( which they are ) anyway coral is one of said people who i can use a billion adjectives to describe positively and yet my brain is churning out none . but coral ? valid . so valid . also gr8 art amazing beautiful wondrous@halfher​​  ❤︎  i think out of everyone here , kaien is the person who has known me the longest … honestly kaien has the skill to be a full - fledged published author at this point and you can’t convince me otherwise . i’ve seen them improve and grow in the 3 or so years between when we first interacted and now … i’m so proud of them tbh !@juuheart​​  ❤︎  i love notay the canon bleach character bUT ALSO NIQUE STOP HURTING HER !! >:((( but also follow nique so you can become attached to notay and yell every time nique hurts her — KJSFFNSDJK@negatiiv​​  ❤︎  hands down one of the most well - done / well - executed oc’s on here . there’s so much development that’s gone on with emi , it’s unbelievable . but also [ naruto vc ] believe it@anquished​​  ❤︎  jihoon is my son and izuku is tooru’s son need i say more i mean really … but also jihoon writes such a unique take on izuku and i love his portrayal so much @faulterd  ❤︎   rOWAN’S MOMO IS SO AMAZING IT’S LIKE I’M READING EVERY INTERACTION STRAIGHT FROM THE MANGA ITSELF !!!@quirkthief  ❤︎  oh my god i’m posting all of these blogs in the reverse order that i followed them from and i literally had to go through 700 followers to finally find connor all the way in the first few hundred i followed after making the blog … how long … is that … how lONG HAVE I KNOWN CONNOR ?! but existential crisis aside , connor’s afo is like … the one canon afo for me lmao . i could write a huge tangent on how much i appreciate him but honestly if you follow him and talk to him you’ll know already . but also be warned cause you’re basically already going to be placed in the afo cult and there’s no escaping please help me i—@greaterhero  /  @conhnhaketon  ❤︎   i literally had to find an excuse to put ro on this because they’re not even an anime blog and they hate the b.nha fandom ( hecking valid if you ask me ) but i want to put them here anyway because you need to follow ro … how are you following me but not them … okay but for real , they’re smart n kind n super fun to talk to ! love forever … and also huge respect tbh …@mightyfrail  ❤︎   a wonderful wonderful all might honestly hsdfjs i’ve been following this blog for soooo long it’s literally … illegal that we’ve yet to interact what the heckie … but yeah , all might is a trans icon there is nothing you can do to convince me otherwise 

[captain-of-the-historicfuture]

hey hey hey! Sorry im late but for the fanfic writing ask: multiples of 4 starting with the # 1 and going 'till the end?

Sorry I’m so late answering these that you got deleted in between LOL. Now this ask appears on my blog as being from anonymous, but I already had it in my drafts so I remember it’s from you, @invictusmaneo.

Without further ado, answers are below the cut because… They’re a little long. :)

1. What do you like most/least about writing?

Oh gosh, I simply really like writing. Every step of the creative process exhilarates. Every word written is a breath of life out of me, a pump of blood through me. And that is an incredible, incredible gift for me. While every activity has pros and cons, writing is so complementary to my existence that I can appreciate even the downsides.

I have no idea how to put it in words beyond that, my friend. (Ironic?)

I guess what I like least is that I can’t (or at least shouldn’t) do it all the time. What is “it”? Daydreaming any second, with any energy, I can spare? Investing thought into every syllable I put forth? Looking into random topics constantly? Organising tirelessly? Revising anything I pen for hours and hours?

Yes.

Seriously, though. The inclinations and habits of a writer follow me wherever I may go, but sometimes I’m not supposed to brainstorm or care so much about the rhythms of sentences or review every word before me. And the part I dislike is not so much that these habits follow me—I’m proud of them—but that day-to-day life doesn’t always have a place for them. Which sucks.

4. Do you work with a beta? Why/why not?

With my novels, yes. Sometimes with my shorter multichaps. Rarely with my one-shots and ficlets. Never with my drabbles and challenge submissions.

When a story has more than one chapter, I can start to feel overwhelmed about the little things, since they’re not all in one place, you know? IDRK how to explain it, but yeah. Once it gets to that, it’s quite comforting to think, “I don’t have to stress about keeping track of everything, even when I’m revising, because I’ll have other eyes to help me out.”

However, when a story is not so unwieldy to handle by myself, getting a beta can prove to be the hard part. With so many fandoms, so few conventional interests, and so hectic a schedule, I’d need a different beta for every project and that’s just…a lot to juggle.

Either way, I recognise the hard and noble work to which betas dedicate themselves, and I am proud to share a creative space with them.

8. What kind of narrator do you prefer to write?

Unreliable narrators are intriguing, but they don’t tend to mesh well with the type of stories I write. Stream-of-consciousness narration doesn’t mesh well with…well, me. However, I do like limited narration. Omniscient can be fun with certain writing activities/challenges, but it just doesn’t go with the typical writing project of mine.

12. Do you tend to write long or short chapters?

Hooo, boy, long chapters fo’ sure.

My average chapter length is, like, six or seven thousand words. The short end of my chapter word count range would hover around 3k, but even that is rare in my bibliography. Most of my novels contain a 4k-long chapter, so I suppose that would be a more accurate “short end of my range”. As for the long end, well… I’ve written 10k+ chapters before. Whoops.

16. How do you feel about inquits (they said, he yells, etc.)?

Well, first off, I have never heard them called “inquits” before. I usually call them “dialogue tags”. Interesting LOL.

Anyway. I won’t use them if I don’t have to, and it can be fun to play with what constitutes “not having to”. I haven’t built up to Hemingway’s courage in yeeting dialogue tags inquits, but I look up to it.

When I do use them, I try to stick to “said”, “replied”, “asked”, and “answered”. Of course, I’m a fan of precise verbs above (pretty much) all else, so I’m also not afraid to stray from those inquits.

20. How do you feel about punctuation?

I love it (with wavering intensity) and I pay as much attention to it as I can. I enjoy details, I enjoy rules, and punctuation is just details with rules. Isn’t that beautiful?

24. Do you think a lot about story structure/arcs?

YES. So much. They’re the skeletons of stories and man do I like bones.

Honestly though, I can’t get down to business until I’m comfortable with the story’s structure and the characters’ arcs. And by “comfortable”, I mean, like. Intimate. Known inside and out. And even the eventual act of getting down to business means, for me, delving further into that structure, those arcs. For me, it’s more than just expanding them: it’s branching out, growing them.

Am I being overdramatic? Perhaps.

28. How do you approach writing new characters?

I pretty much just throw myself into it LOL. As a starting point, I give every character one verbal and one physical idiosyncrasy. I can’t think of any examples for my fanfics off the top of my head, so I’ll use Rosewood.

Ed says “yeah?” frequently. He’ll be like, “You’re my chief royal advisor, so I can trust you to tell me the truth about Gale, yeah?” to Duane or, “Keep everyone out of the east wing tonight, yeah?” to Etta. And his chin betrays his feelings a lot—the crease, stiffness, direction; whether and how he’s touching it. This may seem small and insignificant, but any kind of signpost can at least keep my characters distinct, and that can help me make them unique and real.

If I’m having trouble with a new character, I’ll either employ some Theatre Skillz to get into their head, or I’ll check out some OC question blogs. Tunglr is a real writer’s haven, yeah?

(See what I did there?)

32. Do you write more canon compliant/divergent or full-blown AU?

I have a tendency to write canon compliant fics, although canon divergent fix-its are my bread and butter. However, Philinda has been really widening my berth. I’ve been writing so many AUs for them, it’s wild. But wildly fun! The only other full-blown AU project I’ve undertaken was a Hamilton novel, and I didn’t even finish it because I got tired of my own ideas LOL.

36. Do you use author notes?

I always have something at the very end of a fic, and usually I have a quick note about betas or inspiration (i.e. whether I used any for that part, who they were if I did, etc.) before each chapter.

40. What writing detail are you most proud of in CttC?

I did so much research. I even used some of my lovely newfound knowledge for my history IA, which my teacher really liked because it was a topic he had never encountered before. And despite having all that work, I still had a lot of fun doing the research and integrating it into the story.

Thank you so much for sending all of these! Writing is fun to write about. xP

Send in some asks about the technical side of writing for your friendly neighbourhood writer!

[zephfair]

Get to Know the Author

I was tagged by @desperatlytryingtowriteabook so this is about my fanfic (or lack thereof)

1. Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

I have 10+ fics either mostly done or heavily outlined and I just don’t want to post them. I’m not super active in any fandom anymore so I know none of the fics are very good and I just don’t care enough to put them out there. They’re all fluff or humor or smut.

2. What work of yours, if any, are you embarrassed about existing?

Eh, I’m not embarrassed about any fic I’ve written because they all meant something to me at the time, even the weird one with alien sex.

3. What order do you write in? Front of book to back? Chronological? Favourite scenes first? Something else?

Mostly chronological, I guess. When I get an idea, I just start writing as fast as I can if the outline is developing in my head. I want to get down all the ideas I have, whether or not only a fourth of them make the final cut. That helps with the chronology and then all the little dialogue snippets I come up with as I go along. Once that’s done, it’s easier to go back to the beginning and fill it all in.

4. Favourite character you’ve written?

I love writing Riario from Da Vinci’s Demons and Gustav from Tokio Hotel.

5. Character you were most surprised to end up writing?

Gustav, definitely. And Grimmjow from Bleach.

6. Something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now?

Sometimes I get a hankering to go back and edit stuff to make it tighter but I’m too lazy. The only fic I’ve ever done that to is Thick as Thieves because it got weirdly popular for about a minute and every time I looked over it I found things I wanted to fix, particularly over-explaining and over-describing things. So I gave it a trim and hope that it reads a little better now.

7. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

The only people who know I write fanfic are online friends and I’ve had generally positive reactions from them. There was only one fandom I can think of that really looked down its nose at fanfic but I told them right off I was writing so they could judge me all they wanted.

8. Favourite genre to write?

Comedy, fluff and action. I break out in hives when I read or think about angst. And I always argue that there is a big difference between drama and angst. Drama is necessary in anything that isn’t a total fluff or slapstick comedy ficlet, but drama is good. I just can’t handle angst where everything bad happens and then more bad happens and then there is an unhappy ending.

9. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I’ve been reading a lot thanks to Amazon Kindle’s freebie program thing and oh boy, does it make me appreciate good fanfic even more! Also it really helps to re-watch or re-read the source material for the fandom I want to write in. That usually brings up some more ideas for fix-it fic or adding on a scene here and there. Or suddenly realizing all the UST there was between two characters that I didn’t see a decade ago.

10. Write in silence or with background music? Alone or with others?

I have to have background noise, preferably the TV set to sports or sitcom reruns, something I won’t be paying attention to. I live alone so there’s that, but if I’m somewhere with a long wait, I’ve been known to write smut at the hairdressers and fluff fic at the garage waiting for my oil change.

11. What aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I think my fanfic has actually gotten worse since I started posting on AO3. I feel like I hit a plateau during Teen Wolf days and then actually went downhill with characterizations and writing style. I lost the showing part of the stories and started getting lazy and relying on the telling.

12. Your weaknesses as an author?

Plots, omg, what are Plots???? I just don’t have the energy, time or creativity to come up with and execute any multi-chapter, intricately plotted fanfics. I admire and kiss the feet of fanfic authors who do. I’m madly jealous of you guys! Also lately the telling rather than showing thing, as I said.

13. Your strengths as an author?

I don’t have any. I guess I’m reasonably good at clean copy—spelling, grammar, punctuation.

14. Do you make playlists for your work?

Nah, I don’t listen to music while I write. But I do have a list of songs that reminded me of the DVD bandfic whose title I honestly can’t remember at the moment...it’s the longest title I ever made but it cracked me up at the time. Every time I hear one of those songs, I immediately think of those guys. I never shared it because it’s a weird mix of 80s and 90s hair bands, some 2010s pop and a few contemporary Christian songs whose singer was my voice model for Riario.

15. Why did you start writing?

I’ve been writing pretty much as long as I can remember, but the first time I shared it was in seventh grade when my two best friends and I started writing a book in a spiralbound notebook we passed back and forth. Now we would call it a self-insert fanfic, but we didn’t know anything except we were having a great time. Then they both left our school and I fell out of touch with them for the most part. I kept writing because I could make the world I wanted on the page so I could re-read it.

16. Are there characters that haunt you?

Canon characters that haunt me are Riario because he has layers hidden under his layers wrapped around his layers and canon did him so wrong. I still feel a lot of sympathy for Derek from Teen Wolf and want him to have a happy ending. Now I’m starting to feel a lot more feelings about Bleach characters.

17. If you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Write what you love. Read all the things, everything, every genre. Which is weird because I’ve done both of those things and … I haven’t turned out all that great. So I guess it would be to practice more, write all the time and don’t let yourself get lazy and complain you have no energy to write, you lazy fuck.

18. Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?

I think Elizabeth Peters influenced my writing style in the past 18 years since I discovered her. Although I don’t write fanfic in the first-person, she is a master of the unreliable narrator as well as creating characters who are lively and complicated and burst off the page (which I don’t do). But her use of language and her style is wonderful, and I see glimpses of that sometimes but not often enough. Her humor is the one thing I strive for too. Also Terry Pratchett for his use of humor and satire and his brilliant way of turning everyday, common things on their head. I once wrote a fairy tale kind of fic for a prompt fest and the prompter compared it to Discworld, and I walked around with my chest puffed out for days.

19. When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc?

Ha, I don’t write complicated things. But my outline process serves me pretty well when I do attempt longer fic.

20. Do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

I prefer long sit-down sessions. Once I get in the groove, things seem to roll better. If I have to keep getting up or getting distracted, it sucks.

21. What do you think when you read over your older work?

“Hahaha, I can’t believe you answered a kinkmeme prompt where the two main characters were lions in a zoo and they humped.”

22. Are there subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

Angst. I won’t write rape or sexual violence. No non-con. No major character death. I know there are other things but I don’t run into them because I only stick to the stuff I like.

23. Any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

All the time. I’ve pulled from my professional life more than once. I wrote one fic based on a very bizarre week that happened to me and everyone thought it was very wacky and hilarious. It wasn’t at the time and I did change the ending to give it a happy resolution, but I can look back now and merely grimace. I guess it was pretty funny.

24. Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

No, I’m the opposite. If I write an AU fic, I try to set it in a world or scene that I’m already familiar with because I’m lazy. I did do some Renaissance research when I was writing for Da Vinci’s Demons.

25. Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

From Treasure in Clay Vessels which is one of my favorite things, overall, that I’ve ever written:

Even though he'd seen the smaller sample, Girolamo was amazed all over again at the sight. It was awe-inspiring—a mechanical bird flying without wires. But even more astounding was the talent and sheer audacity of a man imagining that he could make mere metal fly as well as the Creator made birds take to wing.

It was blasphemy. It was surely sin.

It was incredible.

[robinsgirlwonder]

21, 40, 45, 51 (I'd actually be interested in "rant" - if that exists for you in the world of fanfiction)

Oh man, fun ones! I got a little long-winded so I put it under a cut. :D

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Uh, you will NEVER find it. It has been lost to the annals of time, but I remember slaving over a Tom and Kes fic for Star Trek: Voyager back when the episode Before and After came out. And it was basically my take on how that life would have gone for them. I wrote about all the way past Year of Hell and since this was on the day of floppy disks and notepad having a character limit, I LOST THE FIC. It died on a floppy. 

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

I get REALLY stuck in my own head, and when I realize people are paying attention to what I’m writing, I start second-guessing myself. I normally level back out, but I have a hard time getting out of my own way. Like today, I was agonizing on how a chapter might be received so bad I didn’t start writing it until 6 PM. And then once I started, boom, half of it was done. 

On a more technical level, I struggle most with knowing when I’m getting too flowery sometimes. I try to back it off, it’s what you have betas for, but since I spent years writing for radio drama where there is NO description and virtually just dialogue, I tend to overcompensate. 

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh my god, that’s SO TOUGH. I have SO MANY from over the years. I think my absolute favorite from over the years was a series that I can’t find now because I think the author may have disappeared or removed it, but it was a Doctor and Rose fic where after Bad Wolf Bay, the Doctor turns into the Tenth Doctor and thinks Rose is dead. And it’s all about how he kind of lingers on earth and he’s miserable and meanwhile, Rose is trying to go back to having a life and she meets 10 not realizing he’s the Doctor. And it was just so beautifully done, and the author went on to do a few more fics in that series and kind of drifted off because she had a life and I get that.

Other than that, I also have another favorite in a Booker/Elizabeth fic from Bioshock (Don’t judge me, I could write dissertations about how that game is a hot mess that squandered that chemistry) and I think it’s been semi-abandoned by the author, but she left it where I could be happy with it is Top of the World.

Bear in mind, I’m really bad at this because when I start reading fic, I voraciously consume and I am really bad about remembering names or favoriting. I leave reviews, but I always forget to fave unless it’s something in progress.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

So, first of all, I love that you explicitly asked for a rant, which makes me think I must be too chill on here now or something. 

This isn’t necessarily specific to the world of fanfiction, it applies to fandom at large, but I especially hate it when I see it in Fanfiction: 

Nitpicking. It drives me nuts. I’m an old school fan and I come from the world of comic books where I have no say in the creative input of The Thing I Like. Nothing drives me more batty then I see people leave reviews like “Ugh, I really disagree with your characterization of X character because FANON VERSION OF CHARACTER does this differently.” 

If you do not like something about a fic, I come from the land of “Cool. I close the window and I move on.” I am not going to change that writer’s mind overnight. Even if they welcome constructive criticism, then I am CONSTRUCTIVE. I ASK why they made that choice for that character. I hate needless negativity. 

Look, the world sucks enough outside right now. WE don’t need to add to it by needlessly seeking out the shit we DON’T like just to piss on the people who like it. 

Like I said, that also applies to fandom. I am very much a “Oh, you don’t like my character? Cool. Let’s stay in our lanes and leave each other alone. IF you would like to have an open dialogue on why I like this character and this pairing, I’m more than happy to do it.” But, after the vicious shitshow that was OUAT fans utterly ripping apart the August part of the fandom (which was closer to how casual fans felt about season 1), I learned very quickly that I do not have the energy to argue. I’m an old lady on Tumblr. I make a salary and I have a job and I have rent to pay, I’m saving for a house, I gotta make sure my wife and I don’t fight over chores, just… ship who you want and that’s totally fine. PLEASE, let’s not fight. Save that energy for the assholes trying to take your or my rights away.

[renmaru]

you know. sometimes i love something a lot so i need to scream about the things that piss me off about it. i don’t think this is a particularly negative post but it’s just like sheer frustration and if you dont get some satisfaction from articulating your frustration into tumbler dot coms longposts and destroying the capital of this website because you are not a gemini sun then like fair i guess feel free to disregard this. tonbokiris kiwame is cool go look at that.

now to the lukewarm tea ive been simmering for five years. the one thing i always think about all the time is that tkrb is a popular game despite itself. the piss poor gameplay with only the barest of bare QoL in the five years its been up, the seeming complete lack of direction and the frankly nonexistent worldbuilding is held up purely because of its attention to detail and reverence to the original culture and history of the swords combined with some very good character design and subtle but nuanced character writing that can be openly interpreted. just enough flavour to imply something larger but chickening out on actually making anything y’know. concrete. basically allowing the fans to draw their own conclusions. but even then a game like that would not survive cause there have been countless, hundreds of games with high quality and fervent attention to detail and respect for the source material that just died completely because they have such little to actually offer in terms of engagement. i think the main thing that bugs me about tkrb is that it has one of THE most creative, dedicated and strong fanbases of this genre of game who go out of their way to engage with any and all of the content and the devs seem kind of oblivious to this.

in comparison to modern gacha style games, touken ranbu releases barely any new content and frequently recycles content but somehow it’s still relatively popular with approx. 1mil active players daily but the maddening thing is that tkrb can reach much MUCH further. the fans are there, the curiosity is there, it’s just the game content is not fucking there. it does not put the effort into commissioning seasonal art, pushing new events with actual plotline/story content, creating promotional materials, tie-ins etc. but somehow its still in the top 5 comiket circles for nearly five fuckin years straight. here are your badley compiled receipts: c89(w2015), c90(s2016), c91(w2016), c92(s2017), c93(w2017), c94(s2018), c95(w2018), c96(s2019)

 it can launch itself from laughably low in the appstore ratings, hovering in the middle of the 200′s to TOP 30s in the appstore at the flick of a switch. what is this magic button that fucking quadruples revenue and skyrockets your app into the top 50 grossing apps? 3/4 of your characters getting static CGs that you cannot use at all anywhere in the game but will do a powerpoint transition and appear for 5 seconds at login. oh and like a few free mats i guess. and i kid you not it fuckin worked.

wanna know why that worked? it’s cause otherwise characters, especially fan favourites just don’t get anything at all. it’s like most characters outside of the very popular ones rarely get new art, new recollections, new anything outside of their kiwame upgrade which is more often than not years down the line and only recently, four years in, they decided to add alternate costumes but even then there’s a catch which has me feeling some kind of way.

and yes, i fully understand that tkrb is a multi-media franchise, i get that it’s got its fingers in so many pies like the stageplay, musicals, various manga anthologies, the animes, hell its even got live action but man, would it hurt to give some love in game? i’m not asking them to go full fgo route and commission the industry creme de la creme to make 6 full CE illustrations, lots of promo art and tonnes of new merch every single month. but the fact is for such a big franchise, reusing the same sprite art on nearly every piece of official merch, going so far as to add NEW costume art which is just the heads of the old default sprites edited onto new bodies? it screams cost cutting, it screams lazy, the path of minimum effort. it’s almost like the game itself and the original materials are an absolute afterthought at this point with only the most dedicated hanging on to it. i guarantee that the majority of people still playing tkrb are the committed day1 players and the actual rekijou cause it’s just painfully offputting to new fans, with other fans even going out of their way to specify the game is not integral to enjoying the series which sucks, but it’s true.

its a real damn shame to think that something you are so invested in is not particularly invested in itself. sometimes, just sometimes i wish they dev team for tkrb was more hands-on, more adventurous, more willing to listen to players, invest in the game and genuinely try and make the game the best it can be. i’m not asking for balls to the wall summer events, beautiful animated CMs from the likes of the industries best animators, i’m not asking for pages of supplemental lore compiled into books, character backstory novels or whatever i’m just asking for the lore and the characters that we love to sometimes occasionally be remembered in the actual game outside of like ... the two years between their kiwame and the vague possibility of a recollection. i want to feel like this game puts as much effort into itself as the fans do towards it.

it’s a painful truth but there’s one shining light which is that the fandom for tkrb is genuinely one of the most committed and transformative ones ive ever seen. i have never been involved with a fandom that varies so widely and puts in so much effort for these characters and this world. tkrb exists solely as a popular franchise due to the sheer legwork of the fans carrying it on their backs collaboratively. ultimately, tkrb is very very lore-light, there’s so much thats missing and the characters in-game rarely rarely interact with each other. the characters are contained solely in however many voice lines they get at implementation, their kiwame letters, and their updates kiwame lines and the only interaction they get with other swords is recollections or depending on the sword, the odd custom sparring lines.

but despite that there has been so much fan effort to explore everything in so many different varied ways, and amazingly there are certain tropes, relationships, lore etc. that have started off fanon and become canon. the fan community, especially the fanartists, doujins, writers, animators etc. being given a small indulgence by the anime is one of my favourite things about tkrbs relationship with its fanbase. that’s not to say that the fans dont give back in kind a hundred fold.

there’s so much i love about tkrb fans going out of their way to go SEE historical swords in japan, single-handedly reforging swords using crowdfunding and revitalising lots of small-town tourism having real world impact. shit makes me unbelievably happy. the stage plays and musicals are always met with warm reception and are always well attended and even though its hard to access, there are lots of western fans who have dived into a whole new MEDIUM that most of us arent really familiar with but out of their love for tkrb theyve done that. they have hosted the musical as far out as india and france, making tkrb a truly worldwide franchise and there theyve met full seats! as far out as india! then theres the fantranslators, who always have the drive the commitment and energy for the thankless work, the wiki always always is well maintained and they have new content up so fast, and there are so many people willing to help you out. even when crunchyr*ll got hanamaru s2 (i think) a week late and we were left without subs for the premier episode for a whole ass week, fantranslators who had never subbed before stepped up to translate a whole episode for FREE, encoding, subbing and timing it all despite never having done so just so others could understand the episode faster than cr*nchy themselves could. even, as well, it’s made so many history nerds out of a whole bunch of people, it’s created an appreciation for nihontou and japanese history that would otherwise probably never be in their orbit because of how inaccessible it is, especially in english. even on a personal note, i started learning japanese primarily so i could understand tkrb and the history behind it better and to read jp fanart/interact with fanartists.

 no matter what, i am forever warmed by how much i love tkrb and its fanbase and im glad that tkrb is still going strong, even despite itself sometimes and i hope that moving on tkrb tries new things, and becomes better for everyone.