#You little bastard

[crowned-oj]

I’m coming upstairs balloon! YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO EXPLAIN!!!

@crowned-balloon

[killrspringlock]

i found out i am not suitable to parent fish, my heart can’t deal with how short of a moment in time we have with them. my little man passed away from old age today, i am in shambles.

here is a doodle of him because all of the recent photos make me sad. i knew it was coming when the lethargy set in and feeding time wasn’t as exciting as it used to be, but nothing can ever really prepare you for the loss of a pet.

everyone say “swim in peace, meatball!!!” he’s probably in fish hell because he was an utter bastard, but he was my bastard, and i miss him dearly.

sleep easy, little man <3

[okidraw]

i wanted to show them the stars.

[jwillbiteyourfingersoff]

yall ever been flash-banged by your friend that runs the spotlight?? Like one moment you're on stage talking to someone and doing your homework and the next your being beamed up to heaven seemingly by god himself, blinded by his ever-shinning light.

[paintedcrows]

He posts these to interdimensional instagram with a disturbingly cutesy caption and then kills 10 men

[egophiliac]

You can’t pick Lilia for this. But who is your other favorite short character in Twst?

I like the angry little king boy 🌹

[mxflowercheck]

So, I'm listening to TMA (ep 93) and well, the whole "You are tied to the Institute, and the Institute is tied to me" revelation from The Rat Bastard (Elias) happened recently And I'm just getting into the lore, I don't know shit, so when I had a silly idea, I asked my friend: "Hey, Elias is the heart of the Institute or whatever he is , will it hurt him if you kick shelves or slam the door on purpose?"

They said no (sad), but that doesn't stop from thinking about a crack fic like this? Like:

Elias, with a slightly twitching eye: everyone stop. Immediately. Melanie, scribbling on the table with a knife: stop what? Daisy, methodically breaking the corner of the baseboard with her heel: don't know what you're talking about Basira, forcefully throwing a tennis ball at the wall: we're just having our lunch break Martin, stumbling and spilling boiling water on the floor (again): Yeah, I was going to make us some tea.… Elias: I would advise you to come to your senses and- Tim, actually returning from lunch and slamming the door so hard that plaster falls from the ceiling: hi everyone! Elias: Murderous eldritch screeching

also I like the headcanon that Jon has a cane. So in this lil au I imagine him taking his cane, walking around the Archives and hitting the shelves with it, whe he's particularly annoyed by Elias

[myiliterallyhavenolifegoals]

I really wish that the attic scene flashback in 1989 had carried on for just a few more seconds, because as much as I adore it, I'd love to see what the *actual* escape looked like:

Like picture Edwin, who's quickly having to accept that this freshly deceased lunatic with the nice smile (don't even worry about it) who seems to... genuinely like him (???) has imprinted on him like a baby duckling and wants to..hang out together, which ???!!!, but they need to go now, so rather than unpack All Of That, he just nods, pivots, and hauls ass straight through the door, fully expecting Charles to follow.

Meanwhile Charles was so caught up in the euphoria of having a new best friend (!!!!) that he forgot the whole being dead of it all, so rather than unpack All Of That, he quickly follows but stops short because he's spent the last 16 years Not Phasing Through Doors, sooo what's the ghost protocol here? The ghostocol if you will: how does he go through it? can he go through it?? Is there an instruction manual or like a beginners course he has to take?

But before he can spiral too much, there's an audible huff on the other side. The handle turns and suddenly swings open, and there's Edwin, hip cocked and eyebrow raised, with an exasperated look of "well come on then if you're coming" written across his face, and from that point on Charles is completely and utterly gone on this weird little bitch.

[ghosty-ghouls]

If you’re a danger days hater I think maybe you need to actually listen to it. Like I’m soooo sick of people acting like it’s insanely different from the other albums- it’s about rebellion and trying so hard to protect your loved ones and your cause until realizing the only way to keep them safe is to die. It’s fucking edgy as shit actually. I’m sorry if you don’t have the capacity to see that a different vocal delivery doesn’t change everything about a band then I don’t know what to tell you. Like “oueueueue I miss when they were emo 😒💔🥀😢” what if I shot you with a gun. Do you know what emo is at this point. I’m killing myself and writing your name on the bullet sorry

[asadstatue]

I can clearly see the longing and pain in Hannibal's eyes. The feeling of missing the one and only person meant for you, the grief and loss remembering how the one you love the most betrayed you, and how this person could be him instead.

Interested smile hanging on his lips, but eyes screaming that his mind is wandering off to another world, remembering someone else entirely.

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt 7

Hearing the chime of rhe bell above the door, Danny mentally prepared himself before poking his head around the corner "Heya! I will be with you in one hot sec!"

Rushing around the kitchen, Danny set the chili to simmer and quickly cleaned himself up before coming back to greet his newest customer.

Stepping upt to the bar, Danny put his best customer service smile on and opened his mouth to speak, but the words that came out were not in English.

"Hey there! Welcome to Big C's diner what can i..." Blinking a bit before frowning, Danny looked closer at his customer, his eyes flickering a bright green as he squinted at the man.

Because either this man was the very strong revenant that had claimed Crime alley as his huant, or there some how was a 4th Halfa in the world.

---

Jason found the little diner comfortable, more up to date than the typical dive that was in the Alley, there wasn't even any blood splatter in the back booths!

He kinda didn't like how there was only a single person working there at night, being so close to the Alley and all, but that was easily fixed if he just happened to come around in his Red Hood outfit.

Sending a smirk like smile to the teen that came out from the kitchen, who had the fakest smile that Jason had ever seen outside of a gala.

But his smirk slowly slipped as the kid spoke, his words both sounding clear and distorted at the same time, he could make out words but it was very clearly not words at the same time.

Then, the kid's eyes flashed, and Jason had seen those eyes before, he had seen them in the mirror more times than he was willing to admit.

(Holy shit this kid is about to have a Pit episode in front of me...how the fuck did this kid get in the pits?) Jason thought as he leaned back into his seat, his hand instantly going to where his guns usually were, but only grasped at air.

(Right...forgot those at home...) He thought, settling instead to set his hands on the counter, Jason narrowed his eyes at the teen

But just like that, the green was gone, and the teen cleared his throat, "Sorry about that, um, welcome to Big C's, what can I get ya?"

---

Danny gave a weak smile, he didn't exactly want to throw down with this potential halfa, sure he liked a good ghostly welcome every now and again, but he just cleaned up and he would like his diner to stay that way thank you!

The man across from him glared for amoment longer before shaking his head, "Shit, ugh...gimme a coffee and...what's your special today?"

Reaching for the coffee pot, Danny felt a rumble in the diner cart, and there was suddenly a chalk board on the wall behind him.

Pouring his customer a mug, his brain paused for a moment, translating the ghost script before he spoke "Cadavers chili hotdogs, made with 100% not person meat...I promise neither are made out of people, definitely didnt seen any bodies when I made it my guy."

---

Staring at the blackboard that Jason was very much sure wasn't there a moment ago, he felt his chest tighten and ache as he read the...sigils? Words? They were definitely something and he totally shouldn't know what they mean.

Biting back a snort at the dry comment, Jason focused on him "I will take two...Danny? That your name or just the name on the aprin you got?"

Jason was totally not digging for information, because he totally wasn't a Bat or a Bird, and he totally didn't have an urge to know everything about the person across from him.

Getting a dry chuckle from the guy on the other side of the counter, who could only shake his head, "Sadly, that's my name, I will be back in a sec with your food, no running off tho' ya hear? Already dealt with dine and dashers once this week."

Letting out a chuff, Jason kept his eyes around the room, he knew logically he should be more freaked out by this whole experience, but he couldn't help but feel his body relax and his mind comfortable slow.

Holding the cup of coffee in both hands, he took a long sip and memories hit him harder than a crowbar.

It was his mother's coffee, not the bitch that sold him out but his mama, Catherine, the woman that struggled to keep him happy and fed.

It was the watered down brew, stretched to make it last longer.

It was milky and sweet with sugar packets pilfered form diners such as this and powdered milk he used to steal from the grocery store just for her.

His mama gave up so much for him, why couldn't he just do one little petty theft for her?

His heart aches again, and the intense feel of the pits roar in his ears, but they weren't calling for blood, the pits crooned in nostalgic heart break.

Usually remembering before his death was a trigger, was something that made him rage, but right now? He could only mourn for the mother and son that used to cuddle up together under a ratty blanket, of the mother that whispered stories to him during long quiet nights, of the woman that he had found dead on one such quiet night.

---

Tossing on the last bit of fresh diced onions, Danny had a cheesy grin on his face as he brought the plate to the front, mouth opening to speak before noticing his customers disposition.

He was hunched over on himself, looking small (which was impressive for a man thst looked twice his size and 4 times more muscular)

Tears were streaming down his face as he stared at the now half full mug, for some reason it felt heart breaking to see.

Setting the plate down carefully in front of the man, Danny placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay man...your okay bud." Awkwardly Patting his customers shoulder, Danny felt a bit of panic, he wasn't Jazz he didn't know how to like, console people!

It took a few minutes for the man to calm, and Danny handed him a few paper towels to clean himself up, patting him on the back one last time, Danny let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Well...um, hope that the coffee is so bad that it made you cry, I-uhh, could comp it if you want?"

The man just shook his head, "Fuckin' hell, ain't bad, just...God damn it..."

---

Rubbing at his eyes Jason huffed, "Sorry for, um....blubbering on ya like that..

don't usually get teary at coffee, that's more of Timmer's shtick, just tastes...tastes like my mom's coffee when I was a kid..." shaking his head, Jason looked at the chili dogs, they still steamed, the cheese now melted on nicely.

Danny just nodded, "Yeah, some reason i have gotten a few comments on that" shrugging his shoulders, he started to figgle with a cloth, wipping down the counter as he spoke "Meh, Gotham is fucked up and I don't want to even begin to try and figure out."

Croaking out a laugh Jason dragged the plate of food closer, "Fucking right about that...though if you keep making it like that you got yourself a regular customer."

Reaching a hand across the counter, Jason gave Danny a weak smile, "Names Jason, nice to meet ya."

Taking the hand, Danny gave a smirk back, "Got it, one sad cup of coffee for you then-" Snapping his head over as he heard a beeping sound, Danny got a panicked look on his face "Oh shit! My cookies!"

---

Storming to the back, Danny ran to the oven, throwing it open, scrambling for the oven mits, he phased a hand through them instead of tugging them on, and quickly pulls the smoaking batch of sweets from the rack.

Plopping them on the counter, he hears the oven snap shut as he sighs, turning to thank the diner, he pauses to see the sight of a man he was hoping that he would never have to see again.

"Oh little Bager, King of the Realms making food for the common folk? How the great have fallen.." Vald said with a viscous grin, his hand reaching up to flip off the oven, "Did you think I wouldn't find you? Thought you could rum off and not tell dear old Uncle? Don't worry Bager, while old Vlad might not come around to vist much..."

There was a flash of black light and where a man once stood was a ghost, his grin pulled back devilishly "I am sure Plasmius will make up for it very...very well."

---

Laughing a bit as he watched Danny scramble inot the back, Jason stared at the food, he was still hungry but...he held an apprehension of sorts, was this going to bring back memories? Would they be good like the coffee or...

His thoughts were cut off as a body was through through the deviding wall from the front of the house to the kitchen.

Bolting up out of his seat, he watched as Danny stepped out of the hole in the wall, shaking out his fist as he did, "I really don't have the fucking time for you Plasmius, don't you see I have a customer?"

Jason stared as the body that was punched through the wall, that looked mangled, twisted and broken start to twitch and crack back into place, limbs bending back from positions they should never be, and then the man sat up, a feral grin on his lips.

(Really fucking bad day for not having my God damn guns.)

[wretchedakuma]

[whos-the-seme]

very sleep deprived but what if: "I dunno, I'm just saying--" sqh wiggles his eyebrows at him.

"stop saying. immediately." to punctuate his words, sqq goes for his true and tried technique: throwing a fan at sqh's forehead with deadly accuracy. it strikes true before the other could dodge and the other lets out a hiss of pain, but stops talking with a small whine of "bro--" and a pout.

a few minutes later, when sqh is still sending him shiny wide eyes and exaggeratedly rubbing at his forehead, sqq sighs. without thinking, he leans over to smack a giant wet kiss on the slightly reddened spot, pushing a bit of spiritual energy into it. he dismisses down the intense urge he has to bite and make it worse. the mark disappears.

"there, I healed it. fucking happy?"

"very happy, thank you very much"

sqh looks at him from underneath his eyelashes, a teasing smirk growing on his face at getting sqq to capitulate, and sqq rolls his eyes, bc sqh honestly could've and should've done it himself, what does he look like, a fucking healer?? he already has to deal with without a cure and sure the amount of energy needed to heal a small knock on the head was so minuscule that it wouldn't affect him even on a bad day, but like???

he's been giving in more and more these days but its not his fault that the airplane was so convincing when he started to act fucking pathetic and just made sqq feel bad for him a little.

(and okay, he likes how vicious, apathetic, hyper competent a-hua can sometimes just be so cute and needy--)

someone cleared their throat.

sqq instantly freezes. he carefully does not notice from the corner of his eyes how sqh has also gone rigid.

in eerie and stiff unison, they both turned their heads to face the rest of the room. the very full room. the very full room of other peak lords. the very full room of other peak lords because they were currently at the monthly peak lord meeting.

the very full room of other peak lords that were staring at him and sqh because they just witnessed him plant a kiss on sqh's forehead.

the silence stretched.

damnit, airplane.

[quiddling]

lil bloodraven

[itsriotmotherfuckers]

Sirius caused the longest hat stall in Hogwarts history when he was sorted, by the way

[nepeteaa]

Sprucie Saturday!