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halliescomut · 2 years ago

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My Personal Weatherman Ep 5

I thought maybe it would make sense for me to RB with my thoughts after watching with subtitles, to sort of address what I kind of read correctly, and where I was off a little. So we'll see if this makes sense.

(EDIT: But because of how Tumblr sort of functions, no one is scrolling down to see new information, so I deleted my RB. If you want to read my no subs comments they are here.)

I like this episode a lot. I'm excited to see Luta's perspective (read it here), because I was absolutely enamored with watching how Mizuki cares for Yoh, and they always have such wonderful insight into how care translates in a D/s dynamic.

I see and empathize so much with how Yoh is feeling in this episode. Like...yes, he can be so blind as to not understand exactly why Segasaki wants to take care of him, but I also absolutely understand the desire to feel like an equal partner and be contributing. There's also that part of me that remembers being told by my mom and grandmother the importance of having your own money because it's asking for trouble to be solely reliant on a man. (This is because there are many men who can be trash, not that Segasaki is such a man, but it's a lesson that exists for a reason.) And it's arguably not healthy for a person's entire life to revolve around a single person, no matter how much you may care for them, that's just true.

Yoh needs to have things that belong to him, and Mizuki isn't disallowing that, but he's not quite connecting how important it is to Yoh. This episode he's kind of the one who's blind. I know his intention certain wasn't to demean Yoh's passions and art, but it seems like he doesn't take in-depth interest in Yoh's career, which has led Yoh to believe he finds the career frivolous. It's kind of an Arts major VS Hard Sciences major, type of thing. Yoh assumes that because Mizuki's career passions lie in a science-based field, that he doesn't take Yoh's career seriously. And again our communication failure is only exacerbating the pain here. It's frustrating, because they do communicate to an extent, but they're often not speaking the same language, and so they're still stuck in misunderstandings.

The bedroom conversation was so interesting. I was surprised last week in the preview to see Yoh so directly instigating romantic contact, and the reveal of the sort of circumstances is so relatable. And Mizuki is so observant here, recognizing that Yoh is 'hiding' from his feelings.

I think it's interesting that they left it ambiguous as to whether they actually did have sex. Because watching yesterday I thought no, but then watching today, I'm more in a maybe camp. Because Mizuki I think has very specific feelings about being used. He's set up a situation where he knows that technically he is allowing Yoh to 'use him' for his temporal needs, but then moving that use into sexual/emotional needs arena, that's going to feel different on the soul.

Man-san is an absolute angel. She gives Yoh some guff for his mood, but she pivots immediately after recognizing the real source of his depression, and brings solutions. A queen!! She's just so refreshing in this show. I like the idea of them working together, I think that staying engaged in a creative outlet is good for Yoh, because I think there's potential for him just shutting away that part of his life.

With Segasaki, I'm genuinely surprised that he didn't put forward the idea of Yoh maybe pivoting to webcomics vs traditional publishing, which seems like an obvious potential solution, you know? Your publishers trash and doesn't know how to market your stuff? Then cut out the middleman and do it yourself. It's not even something that Yoh would have to be 'onscreen' for or anything, I can see where his shyness wouldn't necessarily be conducive to that.

That final conversation though, that was fascinating to watch. I called it in my no-subtitles watch that Yoh was lying, though I didn't know why or what about. And honestly I still don't really know why he bothered to lie. It doesn't feel like Segasaki would be the type to care about Yoh working with Man-san, especially now that he knows she's happily married. Like I don't think it would set off his jealousy. Perhaps he would be bothered by their relationship being the inspiration for a Yaoi manga, but I think that would depend more on how much of them is in it. And I think he would trust Yoh to be circumspect in what was shared, but it could also be that since he's feeling unsure in the overall stability and definition of their relationship currently, maybe that would bother him. Because what if the relationship that Yoh sees them in, and helps to depict them in, is different from what he's been feeling?

I'm also not surprised that Yoh made the assumption that Mizuki saying 'I don't care if you about you losing your job' meant 'I don't care about your manga and your passion for it'. Like...the poor guy just makes so many assumptions about what really matters to Segasaki, and part of the issue maybe is that Segasaki is fairly carefree over a lot of things. IDK how to really explain, but I'm sure you're seeing what I mean. Bottomline is they're both idiots in love and they can't just say that to each other and clear up all the confusion because, you know...idiots.

As far as our ending, having had more time to think about it, I'm less and less bothered by the tracking keychain. We know very much that it comes out of a place of care with Segasaki. If he truly wanted to control Yoh, he would just prevent him from leaving, but he's willing to give him space as long as he knows he's safe. Both of them are so unsure of how much the other WANTS them there, that it's really screwing things up tbh, but neither wants to FORCE the other to stay. Which is, you know, pretty healthy and sane, we love that.

I'm quite bummed that we're not getting a new episode until September 28/29 (I'm getting mixed signals there), but two weeks any way. I want to see this resolved, but I also want to see more of Man-san and her husband. I'm interested because we do see Man-san giving really good advice to Yoh, and I'm wondering if we'll see some good advice to Mizuki as well. I'm also just interested to see if perhaps Mr. Man-san will provided any advice to either of our sad bois. He's presented as quite mellow and level-headed, so he might be the ideal person to give them solid simple advice.

I may have more thoughts later, but this is where I'll end this for now.

#My Personal Weatherman #segasaki x yoh #Mizuki x yoh #taikan yoho #segasaki mizuki #tanada yoh

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turtlespancake · 2 years ago

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I think we should really talk about "Anything you post on the internet stays on the internet forever" in terms of art. Because it does but also it doesn't.

When you post art online, you HAVE to be ready for the fact that other people will see it. I know that sounds obvious, but I cannot stress that enough. People will misinterpret you work. People with Understand your work in ways that are gratifying beyond belief. People can be mean online. People can be annoying online. People can be kind and supportive online. Sometimes something you pour your heart into can go mostly unnoticed. Sometimes something you spent five minutes on can blow up beyond your wildest dreams. If you're posting art PUBLICALLY online, you have to accept that any and all of these scenarios can happen. Not everyone will get famous in a day. Not everyone will get famous full stop. If you just want the attention, you have to be prepared for the fact that you may not get it. Similarly, if you just want to hide in your little OC corner with your 3 mutuals, you have to be prepared for the fact that a person, or many people who you've never met could see it too.

We are our own worst critics. If a fan said to you the same things you say to yourself, it'd be worth reporting. "This is cringe and fail and had no effort put into it" is something "normal" for an artist to say to themself but would be worth a block if said by a stranger. When streaming services make shows permanently unavailable bs reasons, it's a tragedy. Yet when you take your own animations off of YouTube for your own arbitrary reasons, it's fine and justified. Lost media only counts if it's big, polished studio projects obviously.

Some of my favorite videos on YouTube were made by accounts with under 100 subscribers. Some of my favorite animations and art pieces are genuinely gone from the internet, either because the artist took them down or they got a copyright strike from YouTube or something along those lines. I will likely never see them again, and it bothers me to no end. You have NO idea what impact your art has on people. You may never know. But you HAVE to trust your audience when they say they liked something.

Common reasons people delete their art:

"It was old and bad." You will inevitably get better and learn new things as you keep drawing, but that doesn't mean what you did in the past was necessarily terrible. Even if it was, sometimes it can be fun to see an artist's journey! Plus, if you consistently delete your art once it hits a certain age, it can make it hard for your audience to trust you. How are people supposed to enjoy your new art knowing that there's a 50/50 shot they'll never be able to view it again given enough time?

"It's cringe and embarrassing and I didn't put enough effort into it!" If it's really that bad, no one would look at it. There's value in all art, even if it's "objectively bad" or "cringe." One man's trash is another man's treasure and all that. Plus, just because it's "bad" in one regard doesn't mean it's not phenomenal in another. An animation with problems staying on model can still have fantastic timing. An illustration with confusing lighting can still be beautifully composed. All art is flawed, and all art has its merits. If someone is looking at a piece long enough to notice its mistakes, it means they've been staring at it because they already like it. Please, believe your audience when they say they enjoy something.

"People keep reposting my art without my permission." That genuinely sucks, but how does taking down the original copy help matters? If people are stealing credit from you, getting rid of the original copy -- and effectively the evidence that this really is your art, and no one else's -- won't help. If it's already being reposted, it's not like taking down the original will stop the reposting either since people can just do reposts of reposts. I get the frustration, I really really do!! But taking down your original copy won't stop the problem.

"It's nothing like my other art and I don't create things like this anymore." Not every fan of yours has to be a diehard who looks at/enjoys everything you've ever made. If someone wants to come watch your one warrior cats meme from 2011 when everything else on your YouTube channel has nothing to do with that, then let them enjoy that one video and be on their way. You're not a brand, you don't need to be consistent all the time every time.

"I don't want the attention anymore." That's understandable, but there's other ways of taking eyes off of you than nuking your entire gallery. All hype and drama will inevitably fade with time, and the mute button is your best friend.

"It didn't get enough attention." And you think deleting your art will help you get more attention or something? Some posts take a while to really get going, especially here on tumblr. Not to mention social media is NOT a true indicator of skill or emotional impact. There are professional artists who get 10 likes. There are kids drawing in MS Paint who get millions of likes. If you stay online enough, you'll see both examples a million times over. Don't let a flop post discourage you, and don't give up on a post too soon.

Please, if you're an artist on the internet, be kind to yourself. Young or beginner artists on here, this ESPECIALLY applies to you. You have no idea how you can inspire others. Don't let a few jerks on the internet or your harsh inner critic convince you your art isn't worth seeing, because I PROMISE you it is.

#artists on tumblr #rambling #idk this is something that's just been on my mind a lot #artists please stop deleting your art i am Begging you #also im not talking about stuff thats posted for a limited time because of film festivals or contest rules that's a different problem

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rakumel · 6 months ago

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So guess what my dumb ass apparently did?

I had a folder on my computer dedicated to holding screenshots, art, and writing about one of my XV2 characters, Yokan. This guy, after yet another makeover:

And somehow - I have no idea how, I don't even have any memory of doing it - I deleted the whole damn thing. Couldn't find it in File Explorer, it wasn't stuck in the recycling bin. Maybe my cat somehow deleted it on one of her many traipses across the keyboard, or maybe I did it while sleepy, thinking it was something else.

It's not a huge loss - there was only one old drawing of Yokan in there, and I had backups of the latest in-game screenshots I took of him - but there was one text document I wrote that had a small piece of his story, and it was actually good writing for once, but now it's vanished into the ether. I can rewrite the gist of it, but it likely won't be the same, as I doubt I can remember all the lines I came up with, and I definitely won't remember the notes I had that helped me build up to that final version :( It was the only thing I'm a little sad about losing.

However - the loss has for some reason encouraged me to get over myself a bit and share more of my actual work on my characters, rather than just the game screenshots. Although, to be honest, right now I don't have anything more than pencil sketches of any of my XV2 characters... but whatever. If they're bad and unpolished, GOOD. If nothing else, the AI crawlers can choke on them. >:)

And so, here we go. The first real sharing - mostly about drawing Yokan, but a little bit about him too. Let the sketches and the babbling commence! (under the cut)

The biggest challenge I had in actually drawing Yokan was getting used to drawing the whole structure of the head and making it look less...clunky, I guess? Or weird, maybe? I am kind of surprised at how much improvement there was in only about 4 months.

Even so, some of the anatomy continues to baffle me. The proportions of the head are wild even by big-eyed anime standards, and it's difficult for me to accept. And... eyebrows are part of a helmet? What? That's just...ugh, I don't want to say stupid, I'll just say I don't like it. I know they're aliens and don't need to conform to Earth biology, nor do they need to emote the same way Earth creatures do, but I don't care. Still! Frustrating! To draw!

It doesn't help that when I see that helmet design, I automatically think of the MST3K version of the movie Prince of Space and I can't take it seriously at all. ("I shouldn't have let Mom make my costume." "He looks like a welder who has fainting spells.")

Second biggest challenge was trying to make Yokan look distinctly different from...well, obviously Cooler and Frieza ("that Other Guy too"), but also Cell ("That Guy"). (Yokan is who I was trying to draw when I accidentally drew Cell that one time.) (I don't call any DBZ characters by name in my sketchbook notes because I'm not rational deeply self-conscious of anyone finding it and discovering what a massive loser fangirl I am. The only reason I'm sharing this secret with you internet strangers is because you don't know who I am, aside from maybe one person who doesn't come here anymore.) (As far as I know)

Anyway, I paid what was probably way too much attention to tiny details like eye and nose shape to try to give him a more unique look. Also tried LOTS of variations on horns and armor, both in game and on paper. (Some of you may notice he's got different armor in sketches from the one in his screenshot. That's me experimenting.) After months of floundering, I'm finally starting to like Yokan's design now...though in a few more months that could change. Again. Damn it.

It's important to me that Yokan looks noticeably different - he's the last member of an icejin clan that was thought to have been completely eliminated by Cold's forces some time ago. Why join the Time Patrol and risk running into them, then? Probably because on some level, Yokan knows he can't hide forever. That at some point, he'll have to face his fears and assert his right just to simply be alive. Might as well do it from a place where he can get stronger and even do trial runs of his possible final showdown.

Ignore the sea dragons in the corner - okay, I can't make you do that, but they don't actually have anything to do with Yokan. I just didn't feel like editing them out.

The upper left corner, though, is Yokan's uncle Tsubuan. Sort of a rough, no-nonsense, soldier type. Not pictured: Yokan's father Koshian. (His screencaps also perished in the mystery deletion.) Both of them died well before Yokan ever joined the Time Patrol.

What IS pictured: Yokan playing the violin. He took an interest in Earth's classical music after hearing it played on a sound system in someone's dorm room. He taught himself to play from videos and practice, then later was put in touch with a music teacher.

Her name is Haupia, an ordinary human who's not a fighter. Her world got invaded and eventually destroyed, but she was rescued in the nick of time by a Breakers crew. That's supposed to be her walking with Yokan in the lower left, but she's too skinny and the hair's wrong. Some slightly more accurate Haupia design:

Also Aloe (another XV2 OC, my main one) on the bottom of the page, and some Human Yokan for... reasons. Nothing to do with the main story he and the others are in.

Anyhow, that's a few sketches and a few peeks at Yokan's story. I'll have to rewrite that lost part of it, and maybe more, sometime in the near future.

#xv2 oc #xenoverse 2 oc #xv2 #icejin oc #icejin #long post #rakus oc trivia time #rakudrawsstuff #I guess I just want to get more of my art out again #even if it's far from perfect #or even done haha

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houseofhurricane · 2 years ago

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My wish for 2023 is that people would recognize that the content creators they love are also humans. All the art, fanfics, reviews, theories, meta, moodboards, and memes are made by people with feelings, competing priorities, and complicated histories.

Speaking very personally, the back half of this year was really rough for me—one of my grandmothers died, I had COVID twice, got hit by more migraines than usual, had two hurricanes pass by, and a lot happened at my job that left me mentally exhausted—and I was often frustrated with myself for how little I created or accomplished. I kept asking myself why it wasn’t easier for me, why I couldn’t create like I had for the past year and a half, where I would finish the workday and gleefully work on fanfics or theories or flatlays or even just absorb a book in a few hours. Then I would think about everything I was dealing with and think, oh, that’s why.

I feel like I’m finally starting to get back to where I was, energy-wise, but even so I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get back to the place I was at earlier in the year, with so many fics and theories and Instagram posts. I don’t know if that was ever all that healthy for me.

There are a lot of creators in my orbit who are burning out because they feel the same push to constantly create. It’s not only in their heads, either. You only need to look at the rise of AI to know that.

What I would love, in the new year, is for all of us to realize how lucky we are that people are creating so many beautiful things for free, in their limited spare time, doing the very best they can, and treat them accordingly.

It’s not only about nice comments and shares (although do not get me wrong, those are very much appreciated!) but about treating the creators you love as more than the content they create. To be understanding if they have to take time for themselves, or slow down the schedule at which they provide you with new content. To reach out to creators, even if they haven’t made anything in a while, to see how they’re doing, without asking them when the next thing is coming. To be considerate when you disagree with them and think, before typing that angry message, is this the way I would talk to someone I knew offline? And then maybe, just maybe, deleting it.

Please, can we all do this just a little bit more in the new year? I would be grateful, and I don’t think I’m the only one.

#personal post #this is about fandom if you want to be

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introjis · 10 months ago

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mini-ish story to hopefully drive the point home of this that we think SHOULD help explain the above points op made (feel free to ignore this or have us delete this any if the op feels it's invalid/gen just hoping it puts into perspective how bad the behavior and how this mentality can be,)(also quick disclaimer that it is 1:22am as of finishing typing this- we might have misspelled something or not conveyed a tone properly as well as our bodily adhd might've made us jump around or mix up words/points so please poke at us to clarify anything that's needed tomorrow/gen):

we once had some "artists"(in quotes because neither of them had posted art in the discord server- it IS an art server however so we can only assume such, however we will never know for sure,) join the server we usually post our emojis in- on that day we were making the ice moth pokemon(the evolution of snom, the best lil' bug guy imo) "fluff" emojis (all 8 versions)- we made two versions of the eyelashes because we weren't sure yet which was better-(the white outline like in game and a black one, settled on a slightly transparent black one) and asked for opinions on which was better.

(the emoji for context if too lazy to search our blog for it)

instead of pointing out which might work better(considering our tablet is notorious for making the background white instead of leaving transparen on discord) it took a bit after they began stated their unkind and unwelcomed opinions(note: unwelcomed because they were not helping us figure out the best way to do the justice in our messy emoji- they wanted it Entirely Remade, and I don't think they would have settled for any less.)

they both began Unwelcomed Heavy Criticism(that we had not asked for- we just wanted to figure out which colored lines worked better but they were telling us to change More Than That, mind you we were excited and proud of our fluffy pokemon moth emojis and the idea of getting them out and knew they were messy but they were OUR messy emojis) after one said "neither" to our question of which was preferred/better, only for confusion and frustration to be met especailly after saying something along the lines of "remake it from the ground up" by other server members and ourselves.

if we were anyone else- if we already didn't know how disrespectful that was, if we weren't a mod in that server or friends with the wonderful sever owner who was Amazing at dealing with these two and handling Many MANY situations before this, how likely do you think that would have made someone quit making their art? let alone posting emojis?/genq

we work on our emojis how we do both because it pushes up to keep what has been our coping mechanism polished enough for when it is needed as a coping mechanism, as well as because it makes it fun and prevents a number of our perfectionism from acting up.

we work with 355x355 canvas and 2.0 dip hard pen on our program because that keeps us from obsessing about the details, it makes this hobby fun. drawing cute simple tiny things is fun and silly and should not be taken seriously or have anyone considered "better at it" no matter how messy or small.

No one owes you emojis(OR ART) unless a commission offered and you paid for it- every emoji blog can be deactivated tomorrow and no major change will happen in the world. This is something most emoji blogs do because they enjoy it, it's usually fun, or it provides a way to practice and at least be somewhat silly. Don't disrespect those who do it when entering their spaces or interacting with them.

every artist is going through something and they are doing something no one will pay them for at times. Let Them Have Fun, Do The Things That Make Their Life A Little Easier, and Might Be Why They Still Breathe Today!! Don't compare them and state one is better when we're all just doing something for the sake of doing it half the time!

A little PSA to the emote community

We saw someone make a comment stating that a certain emote artists emotes are “better” than another artist.

No matter the artist or their popularity, it is extremely disrespectful and disappointing to see comments like this in the emote community. All art is good, if it had effort put into it, it is just as good as the next persons.

If you compare emote artist, or make art into a competition, Do NOT interact with our blog.

#not emojis #important #silly talks #boundries #<- adding this for our blog too because this SHOULD be common sense #long post #<- brain went brrr into overexplaining some

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nalyra-dreaming · 2 years ago

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Logging off Twitter again. Maybe I should just delete the app. No really there has been discours again where people are answering what their honest opinions on loustat was a couple days ago, and seem to keep going. And while many love loustat there is of course a few that has a problem them and also Lestat. Which is fine it’s not for everyone, but I do am starting to get annoyed by ALL the discourse here, there is just never any room to fully breath.

Not saying that all is negative obvi, but going back to the discussion of loustat/Lestat. My biggest annoyance and I might sound a bit petty are those tagt aren’t aggressive in their dislike but doesn’t seem to understand how important these two things are to the (especially old) fandom. I may personally have a bit of complicated (yet loving) feelings about lousta and Lestat, at the moment, since I am a relatively new fan and has only read “Interview” (thoug I am excited for Lestats redemption). I still understand that Lestat is the deeply complicated not easy main character of the story and that loustat is pretty much the heart of the VC. So I genuinely feel a bit confused when a lot of new fans is just like “they should stay separate” or “Lestat is irrelevant”, like obviously there isn’t any malice here and I understand if you don’t vibe but really? I am honestly a little confused by this….

This makes me understand why many old fans can feel very frustrated. Anne Rice clearly isn’t for everyone, and probably works best in a small community. I mean this LEVEL of discourse that has been going on can’t be healthy right? Art can be discussed, but it‘s also made to be enjoyed.

(I mostly stay off of Twitter these days, I find it a snake pit tbh)

I can understand the new fans that have only seen the show, because some of the articles and press also called Loustat "doomed" etc. And the podcast lady was very... errr... direct in regards to that and Armand, too, for example.

But... that just won't stay that way *laughs*

The first half of IWTV was just that, the first half. The easy half, imho.

If you read the book you know what's coming. I think the first season will likely be remembered as the most harmless. The one to ... separate a few things, maybe, too. The Vampire Chronicles truly are not for everyone.

When "we" (as in old book fans) speak about Armand for example, and Loumand and then the blender, or sexual violence... we are not kidding. Or trying to pitch "ships" against each other. It's much, much, MUCH more complicated than that :)))

The current discourse/drama level will likely be "cute" when we get to the dramatic shift in Paris season 2. However they'll spin it, fans will feel betrayed by what they thought was a cute, loving relationship. And of course Daniel. And of course Lestat will HAVE to show up somehow for season 3. And, then, if they show Claudia's death as Armand tells it in his book.... oy. Incoming *laughs*

Lestat is the anti hero of the chronicles, but he is not even the worst out there. None of them are the nice guys.

Some of the new show-only fans will be ill-equipped for that simple truth I think.

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago

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oh man, i didn't even think of the younger fans joining in.

stay safe out there kids, and remember to block very liberally and filter tags! (also, make sure to filter when looking for fanfic, too!)

this has been a psa by the weird dude who just drops by in the fandom occasionally to grumble, say the weirdest thing he can, and then leave for a few months to a year again.

also, if you don't mind me asking, what was the IG situation?

Exactly! Block tags and filter with abandon, you don't need to reach a certain threshold to do so and it's not a last resort. Sometimes my mutuals will get a new interest and I get sick of seeing show gifs on my dash and so I block it! Nothing special. Stay safe and curate your experience!

As for the IG situation, for those of you new or unaware I'm about to learn you some keepblr history right here. And emphasize why it's important to communicate with people directly and why you should block tags you don't like. (sizable explanation ahead)

A few months ago the infamous post about how the Neverseen uniform under the cloak is never described--and therefore they could be wearing hot pink leotards and stripper heels, with tutus for the minors--reached a note milestone (500), so in celebration we brought it back and there was an influx of art of Fintan in said uniform. S has a bunch collected here.

Someone on tumblr then went to an anonymous IG keeper confessions account (which has since been deleted) and submitted a confession talking about how the tumblr fandom was strange, making stripper Fintan art, and how it was making them uncomfortable. This was the first any of us had heard of it, as they hadn't said anything to us to try and work it out. (I don't hold it against them for being uncomfortable, but I don't think this is the way to deal with it)

If you know anything about confession accounts, you can imagine what broke out, which was made worse by an already existing rivalry/bias against the IG fandom. The IG fandom with no context reacted like the tumblr fandom was weird and disgusting for our joke, and the tumblr fandom handled it...unhelpfully? Listen, I love being here but full honesty I think the majority of the response made the situation worse and it was incredibly frustrating to watch. The tumblr fandom made the IG fandom into part of the joke, about how it was all allocishet white people who love heterosexuality and just couldn't handle tumblr. It became a joke to come up with what would kill a keepstagrammer (not actual killing, but kill in the sense of sprite killing Prince Phillip), like a particular queer ship or headcanon.

The IG fandom, understandably, did not like this and found it insulting. Which only worsened how they thought of and spoke of the tumblr fandom. They said there were many poc on IG, that the point is that keeper is a children's series and it's gross to make nsfw jokes--and again, this is all through a confessions account. There are a few accounts that if you look through their archive, you can find screenshots.

Since it was all through confessions and no one was actually talking to each other, making it all worse because we're literally on separate social medias and each side was only getting what someone chose to share (e.g., only certain screenshots, only certain links to tumblr posts), I reached out and spoke to the most outspoken person on IG (she had been commenting on everything and posting about it herself). We had a conversation where we respectfully explained our positions and cleared some confusion (like how tumblr works, how you can block tags to avoid content you don't like, how old the tumblr fandom is, how old you have to be to join, etc.) That resulted in this post of mine where I explained the other side alongside our own, as I didn't think anyone else had done so. Their position boiled down to kids (young teens) can find this and it can make them uncomfortable, so they wanted to depend them, and they'd had recent discourse tumblr was unaware of that made them react stronger. The person on IG also made a story post talking about it.

Afterwards, there were some more serious posts about the issue on our side, sympathetic to people uncomfortable while still affirming that it's not our responsibility to curate others online experience.

Things were calm for a day or two, but then because of the way confession accounts work, confessions from before the other person and I had spoken were posted, and that delay ignited things again. So then rinse and repeat, but less intensely. I reached out and spoke to people again (I talk about me reaching out because I don't know who, if anyone, else did). More clarification posts were made, I offered my tumblr as a direct contact for IG people who wanted to talk.

Things started to calm again, but there wasn't really a final conclusion or resolution, as the confessions account hosting all this was deleted before that could happen. I'm not sure why, as I spoke directly with that person prior and she said she wanted to continue giving people a space to talk, even if it was overwhelming. But that's where we're at.

This was back in August, and it hasn't been brought up since. But it wasn't fun for anyone involved and was deeply distressing, which is why I emphasize to talk to us if you have an issue with something. We want to help! We want you to enjoy being here and online! We will do what we can, but that will only work if you do your part, too. That means unfollow or block people posting stuff you don't like, block tags for content you don't want to see. Discourse incidents like this can be avoided.

But that was the IG incident, so now you know! I'm sure you can find a lot more, but this is the gist of how it played out--at least from my perspective. This is how I saw and experienced it, but I'm one person. But if anyone has further questions or wants to know anything, I can do my best to explain!

#(this is all from my pov! i have biases! be aware of that!)#kotlc #kotlc discourse #quil's queries #commonghost #there's some details I'm not hitting but you know. that was the incident #not fun #well. i know some people had fun making fun of the IG fandom. but I did not find it fun #i knew a couple people who were tempted to just leave because the discourse was so stressful to them #i'm well aware I'm not responsible for this fandom or better than anyone else. but in the moment I wanted to shake some sense #into a handful of people who were. not making the situation better

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198d · 2 years ago

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...

So, working on a project and one aspect of it is making a really simple scientific poster. I'm the design guy, I do the front nd design since I'm the only person who knows basic html and css, the only person who has taken art and design classes, and I do this stuff for fun so I go ahead and take charge of the poster. Plus they really just don't have the intuition for design at all, even when I or the professors give clear instructions on How To Do Things Right. We have to make tons of drafts and get feedback on them, and its kind of a dripfeed because staff would make comments on some things, neglect to comment on the other things, and make us turn in another draft based on those missed comments.

Every single fucking time my teammates would work on it, I would have to go back and fix allllllll of the margins and padding they neglected, and I would have to remake every image of a diagram into a simplified, vectorized. Every time we had to change text or images based on the feedback, I would have to go back and change those as well. Today, while I was working on this, one of my teammates was literally trying to edit the same thing at the same time (using figma and diagrams.net). I was going to lose my mind because I was just trying to fix all of the issues, like I had to do multiple times, that my teammates would neglect from the feedback, and so this was actively happening while I was trying to fix them.

I had everything in their own groups, so that it would be easy to change things out. My teammates didn't know how to work with that. Earlier teammate literally did not understand that a file cannot have two different file extensions, and sent me a rasterized image of a diagram instead of the actual editable file, because diagrams.net just lets you have an "editable (so like, able to move around the individual elements) png" saved to your google docs, exported it as a plain png and posted it in the project chat. When I couldn't open it they then tried to tell me like, well it worked for me and well it has the other extension too so it should work. It was only the filename that had the 'extension' of the proper file format. (this is the big csc senior class btw)

The fact that we went back and forth so much on that diagram to begin with was frustrating because they could've given me access to the editable file at any time, and would constantly ignore or forget feedback which meant having to fix it many, many more times, and most of those fixes were still missing the core design feedback like 'make the text size bigger' and 'eliminate unnecessary whitespace'. If anything, it would've been much better if I went through with porting it to figma instead of relying on them, but I'm over here not wanting to be a total control freak so I'm like... whatever.

So when I get access to that diagram I fix issues from all of the feedback, but at the end of our final feedback they go and try to edit at the same fucking time as I am editing, and I had been fixing the diagram all day up to that point. Then the same thing happened on the figma document, and of course they deleted my group for the section the diagram was supposed to go in, so I had to make it again, fix the margins, fix the padding, fix the sizing.

They also completely trashed my design for a page I worked on for the project itself like waay earlier in the semester, so I was like. Okay. You guys do your thing, I can put in all my junk later. I would like to avoid wasting my time as much as possible, considering how mentally ill and exhausted I already am.

oh yeah and also the examples the professors put in the powerpoint for posters had the same (margins and spacing or text inconsistencies, bad looking screenshots, that kind of thing) or worse issues (think black impact font on a busy patterned background, for fucks sake) that they kept nitpicking us for, so its kinda like. please actually showcase something that's relevant thanks.

At least it's finally(?) over.

#born in hearts etched in cold

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redhairedfeistynerd · 4 years ago

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Slush and a Side of Toys

Part 1

A/N: I'm months behind on everything but here is my piece for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @sagechanoafterdark Winter/Holiday Festival Challenge. I chose #38 donating toys to children.

Pairing: Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, angst, frustrated reader, swearing, alcohol

Words: 5800+

Part 2 will be up soon!!

Please like, comment and reblog. I appreciate it and thanks for reading.

All mistakes are my own

A reminder - my work is not to be reposted anywhere.

There’s a muffled humming coming from somewhere under a pile of paperwork and takeout containers on your floor. The sound is constant, piercing, and irritating. Eyes still closed, head pounding from an evening of too much wine and schmoozing, you reached down towards the sounds and ran your hands over the stack, following the vibrations of your phone. Once found, you yanked it away from it charging cord and used every ounce of energy you had, pulling the phone close to your face. Opening one eye a sliver to hide from the light, you read from the bright screen.

Hey, listen, I know we've had our differences the last few years but I think it's time we put all of it behind us. I saw Rosie the other day and asked her how you were doing but she kept it pretty vague. I hope to hear from you soon, even if it's only a text to say you’re doing okay.

Reading over the message a second time, in utter shock that he had the audacity to message you and pissed that he even dare ask your friend about how you were; you decided to turn off your phone and toss it into a pile of clothing on the floor.

What. A. Dick.

Rolling back over into your cozy blanket cocoon, falling back asleep, temporarily pushing away any thoughts of the man from your past.

The message was all but forgotten until later that day when a familiar song came on the radio and you couldn’t help but think about how you had both downed several beers at a pub and sang it at the top of your lungs. Maybe it had been a dream earlier and the text never happened. Pulling your phone from your back pocket, hoping it was all your imagination, you indeed saw that there was a text.

The ever-so-hard to escape blue eyed man, was trying to weasel his way back into your life and you weren't having any of it. Dropping the phone into the bag sitting at your feet, getting up from the desk, shaking out a bit to ease the tension that one tiny text had accumulated.

"Don't think about him. Don't think about him. Don't think about him," you repeated the words over and over, hoping to push all thoughts aside. In stocking feet, walking around the small hole you called your office and continued to shake it out. The calm didn’t last as long as you hoped, anger slowly creeping up and out.

"Stupid frikkin guy!! UGH!" The sound of your disgruntled cry, shook you a bit, the frustration clearly coming out louder than expected. "All right, settle yourself down, you can't let him have this sort of pull over you," hoping the self-talk would work, you ran your hand through your hair and walked back to the desk. "Delete it, pretend that you never looked at it and it will go away."

There was no way the struggle going on inside your head would even fathom deleting the text. Truth be told, as much as you cursed and hated the thought of him trying to slide back into your life, there wasn’t a month that went by without a thought of him crossing your mind. A song playing, a Romcom from the 90s, the pizza you both loved so much. Why couldn’t you escape him?

You shot off a quick text to Rosie, curiosity was killing you now, itching inside you, desperate to find out how the hell you had come up in conversation.

Y/N -Word on the street is that you ran into a clown I once knew; I’m curious what was said.”

Rosie: Oh no, he didn’t.

Y/N: He did and it was pathetic

Rosie: It was a super quick interaction. Both of us waiting for a coffee and being friendly. He asked about you almost right off the bat though. It almost rendered me speechless after what happened.

Y/N - So, that’s it? What did you say? Did you tell him how fantastic my life is going and that I probably wouldn’t even remember him?

Rosie: you and I both know, that that’s a load of shit. I’ve had wine nights with you, that man-child has never left that brain of yours.

Y/N Shut up.

Rosie: Really though, it was super quick. I said you were doing charity work and were still in the city, happy and healthy.

Y/N- good to know. I’ll just sit here and pretend his message never happened then. Carry on as usual.

Rosie: see you later this week?

Y/N Definitely, bye babe.

Placing your phone down on your desk, you continued opening your mail: thank you cards for volunteering, appreciation notes from parents and kids, and requests for you to help out at other groups around town. The next month would be hectic, with collecting the many donations from around the city. You had to finish training several new volunteers that would assist with wrapping, delivering, and presenting gifts to the charities and individual families that you helped support during the Winter months.

It became a mechanical process, opening envelope after envelope, that you weren’t paying attention to the return addresses. It wasn’t until you read the first few lines that the letterhead caught your eye and did it burn.

Blue-eyed monster strikes again via his mother.

You knew it wasn’t the case though, his mom, was offering a bursary to some of the kids you helped out and she was reaching out to you and other groups in the city to help.

It didn’t take much to pull your mind from work once you had read the Evans name on the letter. Bits and pieces shifted in your mind; you couldn’t fight it any more today. The letter slipped to the floor and you sat back against your desk, the memories that you had been pushing away, were flooding back.

It all started innocently about three years ago, bumping into one another around town, having several acquaintances that knew each other, and a tendency to make the other smile when the lamest dad jokes were thrown around. His face was incredibly animated and you loved the way his eyebrows would jump up while he spoke, there was mischief behind them that you wanted to discover. Even a quick peek, would ease the curiosity.

You recognized that laugh from across the room of the gallery – full of heart and genuine. Turning around, you spotted Chris mingling with other attendees of the charity event. You were here to help raise money for low-income families in the community that could not afford music lessons or music therapy for their children. The profits from the art sold this evening, would help buy instruments for the school that was set to open the following month. You knew Chris had donated and you had volunteered to help teach the parents with baby's groups every second weekend. It was the least you could do, you had a bit of extra time and needed to give back to the community that helped you and your family out during your childhood.

“How did I know you would be here?”

You must have zoned out thinking about that boisterous laugh that you didn’t see Chris walking over to you. You smiled as he leaned in wrapping one arm around you, a beer being held in his other hand. His smell was intoxicating – a mixture of orange and the woodiness of sandalwood. Would it be wrong if you pulled him closer to take a quick whiff before he pulled away?

He took his time moving back from you, winking as his arm shifted back to his side and lifting the beer to his mouth with the other, take a long sip.

“So, you out here to buy some art?” he asked, taking another drink.

“No, not buying tonight. One of the pieces is mine, I donated it to help out.”

“You have something up for sale here?” He questioned, taking a quick spin around to quickly look at all the art hanging around the gallery. “Which one is yours?”

“Oh, I am NOT telling you that. I think I’ll leave it up to you to figure out which one is mine. You can play the role of Sherlock Holmes.”

“Now, that’s just cruel.”

“Cruel? Nah. Mysterious? Yes. Are you up for a little game of 5 questions to help you out? If you can guess which one is mine, then I guess you have bragging rights because I haven’t discussed my art with anyone here. If you don��t figure it out, then I suppose it will be a mystery forever.”

“Oh, I KNOW I’ll be able to figure this out!” Chris says loudly, clapping his hands together and popping each shoulder up and down. “I’m always up for a challenge.”

“Here’s the deal, you ask me whatever you need to to figure out which one is mine. Obviously, you can’t ask which one is mine as one of your questions. Ready?”

“Ready!” Chris said enthusiastically. He took your hand and brought you to the front of the room to observe the first of the paintings. “Let’s take a quick gander and then I’ll start. How does that sound to you?”

“Whatever you need to do, Evans.”

Chris pulled you from canvas to canvas, still holding your hand as he inspected each piece. “First question. “Did you only use paint for the one you donated?”

“NOPE, next question, Evans!”

“Okay, okay, I got this,” he bounced around on the spot and turned his head to quickly glance over the works close to him. “Shit, I guess I should have asked if what you donated was a painting, right?”

You walk a circle around Chris “Is that your question?” you ask, eyebrow raised.

His blue eyes flick quickly to yours before he says, “Ya, actually...ya. That’s what I want to know. Did you submit a painting?”

“Yes, one of my paintings is hanging somewhere in one of these giant rooms.”

“You really don’t think that I’m capable of figuring this out, do you? Ye of little Faith,” he smirked and pulled you to the back of the dark room. “Any reason why it’s so dark back here?”

“Maybe that’s what the artist wanted?”

“Here’s question three then,” he said as he pulled you closer to him, your eyes looking into his as he asked. “Is you painting in the dark room?”

“Is that really what you want to ask me?”

Chuckling, you take hold of his hand and lead him to another section of the gallery. “I don’t want you to miss any pieces, so take a look around here before you ask number three.” He squeezed your hand and looked up, the ceiling adorned with a beautiful piece; birds in flight but as they reached the furthest wall, the began to decay, until only single feathers remained.

“Here’s number three, ready?” He looked to his left where you were nodding your head back. “Did you mainly use your hands for this piece? I mean, instead of brushes or other tools.”

You were silent for a moment before answering, did you want to tell him how much of yourself you had put into this piece? That what the brushes couldn’t do, you did with your hands and arms? “I did. This one needed more than brushes.”

Chris smiled at you, “feel like telling me what else you used?”

“Not a chance,” you said, grabbing a glass of white wine from the tray passing by. “You want a glass?”

Chris held up his bottle, its content revealing that it was still half full. “I think I have a pretty good idea which one is yours, so these last two questions are going to be good.” With two large gulps, he finished up the rest of his beer. “So, what happens when I guess, do I get some sort of prize? Maybe you could paint me or something?”

“If you mean, could I dump a bucket of paint over your cocky head, then, sure!”

Chris burst out laughing, pulling you into him for a squeeze. “I love how you make me laugh and I bet you would actually do that to me. But really, if I do guess, what happens?”

You kept your body close to his, his arm still holding you close as you responded, “what do you think would be suitable prize, Chris? Do you want me to paint something, make you a prince? Maybe something of you and Dodger? Or maybe I could paint your like one of my French girls.”

“I would love one of your pieces, but if I win this, I’d like to take you out. Is that okay with you?”

Your grip tightened around the wine glass, trying not to let it slip to the floor. It was a shock, to hear that this man, one that you had flirted with for months, was asking if you wanted to go out with him.

“Y/N?”

“Sorry, I... I didn’t expect you to ask me that,” you answered, fidgeting with your hands out of awkwardness.

“It’s ok, you can say no! It’s all right to tell me no.”

“No. No. I’d love that. If you can guess which one is mine, I will gladly go out with you. Dinner, drinks, walk – whatever you like.”

Chris placed his empty beer on the table closest to you. “Ready for my last two questions?”

“As ready as one can be.”

“Is your piece hung on the wall as a landscape?”

“Look at you Evans, you got another one.”

Chris rubbed his hands together, his smile wide and full, clearly showing that he was on a winning streak. “Here’s number four and then I’ll go right to the painting I think, the painting I know it is. Chris walked back and forth in front of you before turning to face you with his last question. You had grabbed another glass of wine and took a sip, waiting for his winning question. “Does your piece use more than black and white? – so many of these photos, sculptures, paintings are very monotone.”

“You’re good Evans and yes, I filled my picture with the rainbow. So, take my hand and show me what the answer to this mystery is.”

His warm hand took your free one and he walked you to one of the side rooms – this room was full of colourful pieces. You could feel the heat flushing across your cheeks and a thin layer of sweat formed at your hairline. Chris stopped and turned towards the back wall and pointed to one of the paintings. “I’m pretty sure this one is yours,” he said with a half-smile. “Am I right?”

You had wished, during those few minutes he had suggested that he take you out, that he would guess which one is yours. But what were the chances with over 40 pieces around you? You tried to keep your body from slouching before you softly answered “No. That’s not mine.”

The happiness in his eyes left quickly once you responded.

“Are you going to tell me which one is yours though?” He asked you eagerly.

“No, I think I’m going to keep that secret to myself. Thanks for the fun, Evans, I should get home. Another day of charity work for me tomorrow.”

“Wait, Y/N, I’d still like to take you out though, will you let me do that, please?”

“I guess we’ll have to see what the future brings,” you replied, giving him a little wink and a squeeze to his hand, you took one last sip of your wine before heading to the coat check.

Chris watched you as you wrapped a scarf around your neck and slipped your arms into the long, wool coat. Walking back over to him and wrapping your arms around him, it was a quick hug and he barely had an arm around you before you were stepping back. With a smile on your face, you turned and stepped out into the night. Chris watched as you turned right and glanced his way, your hand lifting up and into a quick wave. He couldn’t stop smiling and knew he had to see you again.

It didn’t take long for that to happen. You couldn’t get him out of your thoughts and dreams after the encounter at the gallery. He really was something; funny, compassionate, a hard worker, and you couldn’t deny that he was incredibly good looking.

After an event in town and a few drinks later, it was easy as pie, asking him over for dinner. He had initially thought you were pulling his leg.

Chris couldn’t stop laughing. "Oh ya, sure you want me to come over for dinner," laughing at your request and taking a sip of his IPA.

The pink that had flushed across your cheeks when you had shyly asked him was disappearing like an ice cube in hot soup. He picked up on the change immediately and apologized profusely. "I didn't think you were serious! You are serious, right?”

"Why wouldn't I be? It's just dinner," you shrugged. “I don’t see why you would have such a dramatic response to a simple question.” There was an awkwardness now and maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to come over. “Sorry, I thought since we kind of hand a friendship blooming and I tend to invite friends over...”

He took hold of your arm and pulled you into his chest, a big smile across his face. “I'll come by; don’t you worry. Which day this week works for you? I'll be out of state after this week for a bit, so hopefully something the next few days will work for you,” he said, squeezing you a bit before he released his hold on you.

Trying not to be awkward, you responded "This week will definitely work, tomorrow or the next day are open for me."

"Let’s go for tomorrow, okay? Would you like me to bring anything?” Chris smiled

“Be sure to bring the dog, he's the one I'm really inviting.”

"Well, fat chance of me coming by now, I see where your allegiances lie, " he said half closing his eyes and glaring at you in a teasing manner.

"Ok then, just drop the dog off, I'm sure he'll enjoy the feast."

Chris couldn't help laugh at the way you were carrying on with this charade. The half-smile that was currently on your face was one full of mischief and it was something that he had come to enjoy the last few times he had run into you around town. He could see a sparkle in your eyes, something that he didn’t notice before today and it was something, that he could get used to.

“A thought crossed my mind... what exactly would have happened if I had guessed right?”

“Since that didn’t happen, I guess you’ll never know,” you said with a shrug and nudged him with your shoulder.

“You sure like to tease me.”

“What exactly am I teasing you over?”

“The opportunity to be in your presence again,” he replied, a slight blush crossing his cheeks.

Finishing up your drink, you placed the glass back on the cardboard coaster and turned to face him.

“What the hell is THIS?” he asked grabbing at the green monster type thing that was hanging from a lamp in your living room

"That, is a flying frog - one of those weird ass dad gifts - he's always finding these peculiar creatures for me and I can't seem to part with them.

"It's sure ugly"

"You're ugly!” You shouted back at him and burst into the most beautiful smile he had seen cross your face.

"What are you, 12?

"Sometimes,” you replied.

Chris couldn’t help but laugh at you and pull you into a quick side hug. "You're a funny one" he feels you squeeze him back softly, a smile crossing his face at the quick interaction.

"I better go take a peek in the oven and make sure everything is baking the way it should. Make yourself cozy, I'll be right back." You looked back to him, pointing at the couches before turning and walking down the hallway to the kitchen. Turning you head back, forgetting to offer him a drink but his long strides had brought him right behind you quickly, almost colliding with your body. He tripped up a bit and moved his hand to your hip to catch himself.

"I want to see what you're up to in here, see what the chef is cooking up.” Chris resting his chin on your shoulder to peek at what you were stirring on the stove.

“You couldn’t sit still and wait for me to come back, did you miss me that much,” you teased.

“I couldn’t stand to be apart from you for a second longer.”

“That is the cheesiest lines, Evans. Does shit like that work for you?”

“What matters is, if it’s working on you. So, is it?”

You hummed, refusing to answer the question and carried on taking care of the food in the oven. Satisfied with how everything looked, you turned the timer back on and offered Chris a drink. Agreeing on wine, you pulled a bottle from the rack, passed the stemless glasses to Chris, grabbed his hand, and lead him back into the other room. Sitting on the larger of your two couches, Chris took a place beside you, taking the bottle from your hand, opening the bottle, and pouring you a generous glass before pouring his own.

“To friendship,” he said raising his glass

“To friendship, good food, and drinks,” you added and brought your glass to his, a quick clink, and sips were taken.

Dinner was ready within the hour and you both continued to chat while enjoying your meal.

“That was one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time, thank you”, complimented Chris as he wiped his mouth with the napkin when he had finished his last bite.

The compliment brought the feeling of heat to your face and out of awkwardness you almost knocked your glass over as you reached for the wine.

“Want a refill?” You asked, holding up the second bottle of red that night. “You have good taste in wine, Mr. Evans, this wine is top notch,” you said, looking over the label of the wine he had brought with him.

Chris smirked and slid the glass to his left “I’m glad you think so, I’ll definitely have another. This should probably be the last one though, I feel like I’m overstaying my welcome.” He watched as you poured, your hair falling forward as the wine glass filled. “Cheers, thank you for the invite and many thanks for a delicious meal. You are constantly surprising me with your talents.”

“You aren’t overstaying. I’m enjoying your company and don’t want you to leave yet. Here, let me show you what I’m working on for this year’s event,” you said and pulled your phone out of your dress pocket and slid your finger across the screen. Shifting your body across the cushions toward Chris, you held the phone out towards him.

“What is it you are putting on this year?”

“Another charity event, it’s to help out the single parents that live in the community. I try to donate as much time to charities as possible.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“I want everyone to have a special holiday season, you do it. I see that you donate time and money to charities.”

“I have the means to help and giving back is extremely important to me.” Chris looked through a few more of the photos before placing the phone down next to him on the couch.

Reaching over to take her phone, Chris put his hand over yours and slid closer. “I know you always think I’m joking around with you when I say how much I love seeing you smile but I’m being 100% honest. Your smile is contagious and I feel like it lights up anywhere we are. It’s a beautiful smile and its part of why I’m so attracted to you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Oh shush, you!” you said pushing your hand into his chest, your smile wider than he had seen before. Again, he put his hand over yours and pulled you to him gently with his other hand. He brought you close, enough to hold you against him for a hug. He watched as your eyes tried to find a joke hidden in his face but you quickly realized that there was something else there. You weren’t sure who moved first as your lips met quickly enough that your teeth clacked together and you swore in pain.

“Oh fuck, only I would ruin an almost perfect moment. I’m such an-

He pulled you to his lips again, kissing you softly and trying not to laugh at the look on your face.

“Am I a joke to you, Evans?” you asked, kissing him back on the lips.

“Oh, not at all, I didn’t want to have to explain to people we know how I broke your teeth though. I mean, I could make up some ridiculous story about it, could be fun,” he chuckled.

You couldn’t help but throw your head back and laugh, bringing yourself back up to face Chris and pull him by his shirt towards you and kissing him without any stupid errors. You could taste the wine on him, the sweetness adding to the softness of your kiss. He took the lead, pulling you closer and slipping his tongue delicately across your bottom lip before deepening the kiss.

Your eyes opened when you hear Chris let out a soft moan, not expecting to hear such a sound from him before you could emit one. He did it again and you felt it all the way down your spine and into your soul. Your hands, still in idiot mode, found their way to his hair, and were quickly taking apart his well-coiffed hair by running your hands through it.

“How does your hair smell so damn incredible?

“How do you taste so fucking delicious?

You pulled back, staring him in the eyes “Hmm, maybe you need to taste a bit more, clean that palate of yours,” you teased.

“Are you implying...”

“Not implying, the buffet is open, sir. Dig in.”

Chris’s face went a light shade of red.

“Oh, did I catch you off guard, Casanova?”

“I mean, no... no...’ he stumbled, “OK, fine yes, yes you did.”

“Well, now that you know, let’s get back to business. All right?”

You took control, standing up, taking his hand roughly and leading him to your bedroom.

“I want you to take off my clothing, piece by piece. I want to see it on the floor and,” you said placing her finger on his lips, “no more talking,” you ordered.

“Anything you want,” he whispered into your ear and he ran his tongue down your neck so softly, that goosebumps raised over yours arms. His hands wandered from your shoulders and down your arms, taking hold of your hands and moving them to his belt buckle.

Looking up to him, he nodded, silently urging you. Undoing the belt and still staring into his eyes. Moving to unzip his jeans and push the button away, Chris was unzipping the back of your dress, the cool line of metal touching your back as he drew the zipper down the length of your back.

“You have goosebumps, do I need to warm you up?

“I’m hoping you get to that. Now, what did I say about talking?”

He smirked, pushing the dress down each shoulder until it dropped to the floor. Stepping out of it, you kicked it off with one foot, tossing it towards the wall. Chris’s hands were already roaming, his hands on your hips, fingers sliding into the thin elastic of your panties. His hands slipped across your warm flesh and directly to your cheeks, grabbing each one and squeezing, and pulling you closer to him. His lips were pressed into yours, his tongue back to searching for yours as he wrapped his arms around you and brought you to your bed. Gently, he sat you on the edge and leaned into you bringing you down to the mattress.

His kisses ran down your sternum and across the soft skin of your breasts while his hands ran across the tops, gently running his fingers over your nipples.

“Keep doing that, keep... keep touching my breasts, Chris.”

You could feel him pressing into you, his erection, warm and pushing against your core.

His hands squeezed your left breast while he brought his mouth down to your right, taking the nipple into his mouth, gently sucking it. Running his tongue around the bud, a chill running across your arms and a moan escaping your lips.

“I need to be in you now, please, y/n,” he said, kissing up your chest.

“In the drawer, condoms are there and hurry the hell up, Evans, I’ve waited forever for it to rain and fill up the well.”

He chuckled as he crawled over you, limbs knocking yours, a soft hand slapped across his ass, as you watched him open the nightstand drawer, which got stuck in his effort to hurry. “Come on Evans, you got this,”

“A little self-talk over there to get you motivated?”

Chris smiled as he held up the package and smiled at you before sitting on the edge of the bed to roll the condom down his hard length. He was on you again, returning quickly, his lips pressing against yours. His lips, wet and warm, pushed harder against your mouth as he pushed your legs further apart, taking himself in his hand, rubbing across your wetness and pushing halfway. The groan that escaped his mouth while his tongue continued to touch yours, sent a tingling sensation down your body.

“Chris, please...” you started to plead and before you could continue, he finished pressing himself into you with a grunt.

“Come on baby, show me how well you can move,” he said as he licked a strip across your neck.

Wrapping your arms around his neck and shifting your body against his, you let out a wail. Your bodies moved together, the pace quick, the sounds of your wetness echoing throughout your room.

“Listen to the sounds we’re making, baby,” Chris panted and drove deeper into you. His body was incredibly warm against yours, the sweat making his chest glisten in what light crept in from the hallway.

Chris slipped his hand down and his fingers met your warmth, crawling in to press against your clit. You clenched around him; a low moan escaped his mouth as he continued his movements.

“A bit more, a bit more,” you groaned, your back arching as Chris sped up. You looked up at him and reached your hand up to his face, holding on and staring into his blue eyes as you felt the tingling ball up within.

Faster than expected and with one last swipe of his fingers, your orgasm spread out from within. Your shoulders tingled, spreading down to your fingers as you yelped out, the warmth of pleasure flowing down and across your body. Chris had shifted to move into you, helping your orgasm along as his own shuddering began. His lips were pressed into your neck, your name crossing his lips as he slowed his pace, and leaned onto one of his arms. He continued kissing up your neck and met your lips, heavy breaths escaping from both of your mouths.

“You’re incredible Y/N. Incredible.” One more kiss was pressed to your lips before Chris sat up, heading to the bathroom. You watched the light turn on and the door close behind him. You rolled to your side; a smile of satisfaction crossed your face as you closed your eyes.

Your heart jumped when you were woken by blankets being pulled half off of your naked body. It took you a few seconds to realize that a man, a very handsome man, was sleepy peacefully beside you. Turning to face his back and shimmying closer, you pulled the blanket to cover your shoulders and back. His muscular back stared at you and you couldn’t help but raise your hand to the pale skin, bringing your fingertip to his warm skin and drawing lines to connect each freckle.

“You, know, that feels incredible, please don’t stop,” Chris asked, his words muffled into the pillows.

You continued using his back as your canvas; swans, sunrises, all the beautiful pieces of the world this man helped you see.

Pushing back into you Chris spoke, “I’m going to be away next week, so I’m hoping I can see you again before I head out of town?”

Your fingers drew the word yes on his shoulder in response. Chris turned over to face you, pulling you closer to him for a soft kiss. When he pulled back you couldn’t help but smile and pulled him in for something a bit more passionate.

Bags packed and his dog set to stay with his family, he walked by the room Scott was in. “Hey, I’m heading out, the car is almost here. Give me a hug for the road.” His younger brother stood up and embraced him, giving him a few pats on the back and wishing him well for his short trip. “Will I see you when I get back or you heading back home?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be around still. Mom wants me to stay in town a bit longer. You okay if I’m still free loading off of you a bit longer than planned?”

“You know you’re more than welcome to stay,” he said as his phone chimed from his pocket. “Cars here. Take care of the fam and Dodger for me.” His brother gave him a smile and Chris grabbed his coat and carry-on from the table before heading to the front of the house. Dammit, he had forgotten to remind Scott again about what they had discussed earlier that day. “Scott, make sure you get that message to Y/N, okay? This schedule change was pretty last minute.” He shut the door before he heard a response from his brother. The driver held the door open for him and collected his bags to place in the trunk. He couldn’t get you out of his mind on the way to the airport; your smile, the scent of your hair, the warmth of your naked skin pressed against his. He couldn’t wait to be next to you again.

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans rpf #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #writing challenge #ssholidaychallenge #redwrites

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botherkupo · 3 years ago

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20 questions: writer’s edition

thanks for the tag @carpisuns

How many works do you have on AO3?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1276156 (hjkhk i’ve written a lot)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

11 (but i only have 5 on AO3). First one was Harry Potter, but have also written for final fantasy VII and XIII, Dragon Ball Z, Cowboy Bebop, Detective Conan/Magic Kaitou, Nanatsu no Taizai, Avatar the last airbender, legend of korra, and miraculous ladybug

What are your top five fics by kudos?

1: a lie for a lie

2: the undying fire: blood and fire

3: i’ll be your (wing)man

4: caught in the chat

5: Zuko’s tiny dilemma

gonna put the rest under the cut

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

yes! i will try to respond to every comment, as i really appreciate that someone has taken the time to share their thoughts. you have no idea how happy you make me (although, admittedly, i can take a while if i fall behind -- i have replied to some people over 200 days late hkjhjhk, but i genuinely like replying to comments and have actually made some good friends through comments/replying

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i don’t do unhappy endings. some of them can be bittersweet, i guess, like heroes and lullabies or been here before , but the only stories that have ended on a properly angsty note are ones that are part of a series, so i don’t thikn that really counts

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

i don’t know to be honest. i have written a lot of humour and fluff

Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

my first fanfic was actually this awful harry potter/final fantasy crossover. i mean it was awful. i deleted it because it made me cringe so much hjkhjkhk. These days i just write the odd au stuff set in another world, like Marinette and the Moving Castle (hmc au)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

hkjhkhjkhk yes. a lot. most of them make me laugh (especially the essay-length rants), but there have been times where i’ve been genuinely frustrated. still, for other writers who have to deal with this kind of thing, just remember that the 1 or so % who hate on your fics are just that -- a small number of people. they really aren’t worth your time

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

i have in the past - more emotional and not super graphic -- but i deleted those fics because it’s just not my thing at the end of the day and i don’t want to read or write that kind of stuff anymore

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yep. back on good old FFN. it was rubbish as well so i don’t know why the person bothered hkjhkjhk

Have you ever had a fic translated?

quite a few. i am forever surprised and flattered that people have taken the time to translate my fics, because i know it’s not easy. never mind all those words -- it’s just super hard to get the right meaning or effect across when translating, but these people take the time to do that as a hobby. you’re all amazing and deserve way more recognition in fandoms

Have you ever co-written a fic?

i did start an atla one with @cabbage-foam but i think we’d both agree we’re never going to update that one again 😅. Otherwise, i’m working on two idiots and a hamster with @carpisuns (and it’s lots of fun)

What’s your all time favourite ship?

at the moment it’s lovesquare, but i actually really love Nalu (fairy tail). I’ve just never done anything fandom-related for them

What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

doctor tsurugi wants a day off. it’s a lukagami sherlock au and was supposed to be a fun slice of life kind of thing, but i never ended up getting past chapter 1. i just set it as complete because i don’t think i’ll ever find the energy to do anything with it. But @masilvi did this amazing art for it, which i love so, so much, and i wish i could keep working on this fic if only to do justice to the art lol

What’s your writing strengths?

hmmm, i care a lot about the flow and readability for my writing -- i want it to be as accessible as possible -- so my writing is pretty concise. i try not to waste words and (i hope you’ll agree) i have a good balance between dialogue, introspection, and description. Humour comes easily to me, and i think i’m pretty good at getting emotion across

What’s your writing weaknesses?

i could be better at my wording when it comes to description -- i feel like i use the same phrases a lot and i wish i could be more creative hkjhkjhk. romance is also difficult for me, mostly because i’m aroace and will just straight up cringe and ahte what i’m writing lol. But also i just don’t really understand physical attraction, so all of my leads probably end up feeling ace-coded, even if i don’t mean them to be 😂

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

i don’t do it because, if the setting is based in a language that isn’t my native language or the one i’m writing in, it’s already suggested they’re speaking in that other language anyway. Plus, not everyone will know those words or phrases, etc, so it’s kind of unfair and distracting in a way. This is actually happened to me as a reader. the author had a wee translator note at the end of the chapter, but i still spent that whole chapter just being like wtf does that mean

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter. i still laugh when i think about how i stumbled across fanfiction, not knowing what it was, and being so confused why the “leaked” sections were written in hermione’s point of view

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

ahhhh i don’t know. i have a huge soft spot for zuko’s tiny dilemma and more than (yes, the rednana month fic hkjhkjhk), but i’m terrible at choosing favourites. each of them are special to me in their own way

phew that was a lot

Tagging (and no pressue) @thewritewolf @zimtlein @emsylcatac @emletish-fish @cabbage-foam @maketea @trashcatontherooftop

#writer stuff #tag game

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personasintro · 4 years ago

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i don’t think many people on this app realize that writing is a form of art. meaning, it takes time and hard work to make something amazing as the finish line draws near. and when there is pressure and deconstructive criticism (it’s not CONSTRUCTIVE as many of you think), it’s very disheartening towards the creator. i’m definitely sure mimi has other things going on in life besides writing. it’s not like she’s entitled to satisfy idiots.

mimi, you’re an amazing writer, and please take the time you need to write or do anything else. i will always be excited for the results :D

This isn’t about update questions though, this is about someone who tried to tell me that my reactions to certain anon asks are wrong. Some of you might see some asks as not harming and completely hateful, and just because I voice out my thoughts and opinion, doesn’t mean I find it suddenly only hateful. I hate when people turn it against me, saying how I can’t take criticism or anything slightly negative, that’s not it. That’s what bothers me though, some anons giving me off the vibe like “yeah this is your fault though” and that kind of attitude actually hurts me.

Okay, so someone doesn’t understood me joking and thought it was impolite of me to say something. It’s not a big deal, it was just a joke and if someone didn’t get me then… it’s not really my problem? My joke wasn’t disrespectful, hateful etc… that I’d have to apologize about it. The only thing I can apologize is the fact that person thought I’m impolite, because that’s never my intention.

But I’m also being myself and I’ve always showed my gratitude towards my readers, no one can tell me otherwise. Ever since I lost my job, I’ve been glued to my phone and laptop and has done everything that has to do with my stories, this blog and me interacting with my readers.

And I find it so fucking frustrating that I can’t even react to slightly negative asks because I’m always made out as someone who can’t take something negative etc… my reactions are 100% honest. “Asks are there so people can tell you what they think” yes, but that doesn’t mean I’ve to put up with everyone’s shit and if something hurts me or makes me uncomfortable, I’m just not going to sit down and let them do whatever they want. I react, say my opinion and want to move on. But instead, I get x other asks which are still being hateful and they think they’re diplomatic with their words, trying to look like nothing but someone who’s just sharing their opinion. I’m mostly here to share my stories, not wanting to get a full paragraph of someone’s opinion on my whole person.

I seriously don’t want to bring any other writers into this, but I think most writers would already just say “fuck you” and leave it at that. But I’m still here, trying to explain how I see things and why I’m reacting the way I do. There’s a lot of things you don’t know, like the asks that aren’t published etc… I deleted most of them anyways but still. And with a couple of more things like “innocent” questions of updates like “it’s been too long update” or someone insulting my story because it doesn’t go their way, is a little bit too much for me. So yes, there are things that trigger me and I just can’t pretend I don’t mind and I’ll do whatever they want me to do.

It’s natural that disagreement brings fights and arguments. I get that. But I’ve told you how I feel about everything and it’s up to everyone what they take from it. I just know I’m growing tired of all of this. And I’m not the first writer who has experienced something like this, just look at how many writers left this app. So the problem probably isn’t just in writers, is it?

#thanks bub #I’m sorry I ‘used’ your ask to rant again lol #ask: anon

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just-like-playing-tag · 4 years ago

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A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

#mine #tpn #the promised neverland #tpn manga spoilers #Tumblr: *literally refuses to let me open the post*#Me: *Turns on my computer* B*TCH YOU THOUGHT I'M POSTING THIS TODAY AND NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME #Been working on this for four hours now.. I'm literally dead...#Also thank you Tutu for deleting the other post you're the sweetest :')#Once again this is just a personal report you don't have to read all (or any) of it unless you want to :)#Ok to reblog btw #I'll click the post button now I don't want to hear anyrhing else

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pluviophile-bookworm · 4 years ago

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High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt.3

Ok, full disclosure: I should not be doing this right now. But I've been thinking about it since yesterday and, well, I reckon I can go over 1x4 and 5, and then move on to my actual work. So here we are. I'm really, really excited for these two, so without further ado, I'll dive right into:

1x4: It's hard to believe that I couldn't see... the majority of what happens in this episode when I first watched it

Why is Nini such a pro at making a scene with whoever her current boyfriend is in the middle of a public place? I mean, I get it that she's upset about EJ going through her phone — who wouldn't be — but maybe - and this is just a friendly suggestion — she could try and discuss that in private, not start a shouting match within view of all their classmates. Just saying.

'Ricky would never steal my phone' — well, perhaps not, but he's not quite above deleting stuff from it, either... I wonder if whoever is writing this show knows that there are many other ways to make a relationship unhealthy... it's not funny anymore. Just repetitive.

Ahhh Natalie and her emotional support hamster! At least there's one good thing about this scene.

Sure, Ricky, blame Big Red for the fact that you misplace your stuff... a very nice best friend he's got, indeed.

Gosh, everything is so awkward and there is just so much tension all over the place — Ricky's parents, then EJ and Nini, and then Carlos just being oblivious to the fact that they just broke up... you know, that last part just made me laugh. And then Ricky's reaction to his parents legally separating just broke my heart. That boy's been through too much.

Big Red being completely clueless about theatre terms is super funny and endearing, but let me just put myself in his shoes for a sec. He's followed his best friend into a badly thought-out scheme to get back together with his ex, got dragged into joining the crew, and is now expected to know what everything is. I would not put up with that... ok, who are we kidding, I'm a massive pushover and would put up with anything, but my point is... he shouldn't have to. At least people are doing the bare minimum to help him learn and nobody's laughed at him for not knowing. That's the good thing about this crew.

Ok, so I have posted about my thoughts of their take on What I've Been Looking For before, back when the episode was brand new, so I won't go into detail about that. In short, I think they've got the arrangement all wrong considering that it is a plot point in the original movie, but... the execution is funny. The scene is about Nini and EJ's post-breakup tension and it shows. I just kind of wish now Miss Jenn had pulled Nini out and put Gina in, even just for this rehearsal — and I might or might not be saying this as a Portwell shipper.

Miss Jenn is done with the students' personal drama and honestly, I'm right behind her. These kids are being completely unprofessional — and well, I realise that we can't expect them to be professional at this stage, but... they could at least try to concentrate on rehearsal and not their personal lives for a second.

Ricky hugging a cushion is my spirit animal. That's it, that's the comment.

Ahhh the tension between EJ and Gina though... 'around here seniors don't follow sophomores' — well, we'll see how it goes, Mr. Senior.

What gives Nini the right to shout at strangers about their relationship? I am honestly so frustrated with her these days. Wonder why I never was during season 1. The reasons are all there.

'He loves you' — yeah, like a little sister, he does. Also, Ash is so precious, always trying to see the good in other people. EJ 1.0 is so lucky he had her as an example.

Ok, I'm not going to go into what an amazing best friend Big Red is because we all know that (plus I'm saving it for a certain scene in 1x5), but this must be so hard for him. I mean, he's trying his absolute best to help Ricky feel better and distract him from his problems, and Ricky is turning everything down. I mean, I guess I understand where he's coming from too, but I'm unable to look at things through the lead-centric lens alone anymore. I'm more aware of non-lead characters now (some more so than others) and this is putting a whole new spin on my perception of everything that happens.

I've got no idea how Big Red can sleep with all this noise, though. I could never. But to each their own.

'perfect on paper' — that's EJ 1.0 to a T. I've got to give Nini that.

Ricky wearing the pride t-shirt... we love to see it.

See, this is why I keep forgetting why I ever shipped Rini and then remembering again... their chemistry is just so on-again-off-again, and here it's definitely present, but I just need a couple with consistent chemistry, you know. Hey, isn't that kind of what All I Want is about? Kind of. I don't know. I've been unable to listen to that song ever since it got big irl. I have this... problem with media that becomes popular and mainstream... I mean, I never hold a grudge against things just for being popular, but I just... relate to underrated stuff much easier. Not because it's underrated, but it just so happens that nearly everything I like and relate to is underrated in some capacity. Even HSMTMTS itself — it's practically unheard of here in Bulgaria, so I would not have found it if I hadn't been looking for it specifically. Ok, this comment got derailed several times. I guess I'll just stop here and move right on to 1x5 at this point.

1x5: A bedazzled tablecloth, a perfectly balanced unicycle and bad reception at the barn... not the perfect ingredients, but they can still... Work This Out

'Miss Jenn says that's a life in the arts... well, that and almost constant unemployment' — alright, I know this line is not supposed to be funny, and that it's a painful reality for a lot of people, but... maybe it's the delivery. I just laugh every time.

See, this is what I mean when I say I want to see consistent chemistry — Seblos have it. I mean, I really don't want to jinx things, but... they do.

Big Red seems to be in a more... outspoken mood today, I guess you could say. Too bad Ricky is still shutting everything he says down. Seriously, Big Red and Seb should start a club for people who try their best to be there for their loved ones and still keep being shushed.

I might be super frustrated with nearly everything Nini says and does (can somebody please tell me why that is?), but... flushing her dress down the toilet? Major mood.

Listen, I love Miss Jenn and that she's close to her students, but... emerging from a toilet cubicle and inviting herself to Kourtney and Nini's girls' night was... Will Shuester level of questionable.

Ricky being the mature one about his parents separation is... I mean, it's admirable, but how did he move past the impending depression of last episode and towards being the one who tells his dad to get up and move on? Well, I mean, good for him. But I think the issue is far from buried yet.

'Friend of the year'? Ricky? I don't think so. First of all, if he were, he'd know that Big Red does not have two left feet. Wasn't it you, Ricky, who was stumbling over the steps in HSM a couple of weeks ago? You're one to talk. Plus Big Red's been listening and trying to help while you've just been spouting off about your personal problems for... how long has it been now? I get it, Ricky has issues that he needs to work through, but he's almost legally blind in both eyes when it comes to Big Red.

Ok, but Ricky is the epitome of 'cannot solve his own problems but has a suggestion on how everybody else should solve theirs' in this episode. Maybe take a step back and listen to your own advice?

'My parents think I'm bonding with the livestock' — I've got no idea why I find this line so funny, but I do. And I've got so much love for this entire scene. Carlos' reaction to Seb's response to his invitation is just... the most adorable thing ever! My heart might just burst. Especially given what we're about to go through tomorrow in 2x10... I am. Not. Ready.

The entire karaoke scene just reminds me of... pretty much every extended family reunion on my mum's side. Her cousins love karaoke and are also completely tone-deaf. I love it that they're able to have fun with it, but my ears are still recovering from my great aunt's birthday party two years ago.

'When did you become Nini?' — Why does Mr. Mazzara know so much about his students' dating lives? I mean, Miss Jenn does, too, but he doesn't strike me as someone as invested in them as her. Idk, it just struck me as kind of weird.

'I didn't agree to photos' — please, EJ, I'm sure you'll want memories from your first fake-dating gig with Gina... once you're no longer fake-dating, you know. Boy, these two are going to have stories to tell to their grandchildren.

I've said some stuff about Nini, but... 'a bedazzled tablecloth' is the funniest description I've heard for Gina's homecoming dress.

'Maybe it's not actually about you at all.' Yeah, you tell him, Reddy! Ricky needs to get over himself.

The way Big Red sniffs out the drama, though... I was not-so-randomly reminded of that moment in 2x9 where Seb was like Carlos. and Big Red was like, 'Are you guys fighting?'...

Big Red doing a comedic lip-reading of Gina and EJ's dramatic scene is absolutely hilarious. I might or might not have sold my heart and soul to him after seeing that scene for the first time. But I just remembered how he said earlier that maybe he can't read lips and that just makes this 100% funnier — he was basically like a child who can't read yet making up a story based on the pictures in a book, and I mean it in the best way possible. He's a theatre dark horse, this one, and they should all be intimidated — or inspired, whatever they choose — by his hidden talents. Gosh, I love this guy. But can you blame me?

'You think I'm actually going to confide in you?' — Absolutely. You can't bully someone from your position of authority over them and then act like you're their friend. I do know now that Mr. Mazzara has hidden depths, but he had no right to be as rude to Carlos as he was in 1x3. He was right about one thing, though — Carlos doesn't need a dance partner to dance.

Ricky saying he was going to apologise to Gina and counting that as an apology is giving me major TJ/ Buffy flashbacks. I wonder why that is... * sarcasm *

Nini feeling like a fraud makes me actually sympathise with her for a second. But I feel like Nini's flaw of defining herself through boys and Ricky in particular has been addressed one time too many now, since it was first addressed here in this episode. If they make her and Ricky get back together again in season 2, I will riot. [side note: I feel like the Born to Be Brave scene says a lot about both Rini and Seblos as couples. Nini and Carlos both feel, in the moments leading up to the song, like they are incomplete without their partners. Ricky, too, has built his personality entirely around Nini at that time (and is still not completely over that in s2). And then the song comes in to remind them that they don't need a partner to be happy. I'm just thinking of Big Red's 'perfectly balanced unicycle' comment from the promotional materials, and of how he and Ashlyn, even when they're dating in s2, are never portrayed as being incomplete without each other. I guess there's a reason why they're the Beta Couple of the show — their relationship drama is nearly non-existent, and when it does exist, it's just caused by them caring too much about each other. Every other couple on the show should learn from them.]

Everybody supporting Carlos during the Born to Be Brave number just warms my heart so much... I am actually crying real tears. And then the end, when Seb finally shows up, right in time for the slow dance... I have a lot of feelings about this scene.

Seblos' dialogue here still kind of makes me cringe a little... but like, in a good way.

Yikes... Miss Jenn's getting into trouble... I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But she's lucky she's had enough time with her students for them to love her enough to fight for her. Still, this is a topic for another episode, and so I won't expand on it in this post.

Well, that's it. That was 1x4 and 5. Those were pretty much my favourite episodes when season 1 was airing. And I can definitely see why, even if my views on some things have changed due to stuff that happens later. But, as I constantly say, that's what rewatches are for. In other words, 'once more, with feeling this time' as my choir director used to say.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: the rewatch #nini salazar-roberts #ricky bowen #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts miss jenn #hsmtmts mr mazzara #rini #seblos #redlyn #portwell #jnk

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