#You can win so much and it's just like naw

[skyplayssplatoon3]

The Joys Of Anarchy Battle

Get our placements after 1 win, 2103!

Next win, +1.3

Next win, +3.5

First Loss, -110.3..................

We went 13 wins and 4 losses total and came up with -3 from our top score LMAO;;;

[auspicioustidings]

Based on this. You are in Finland full of self-loathing and the 141 needs a fat wife if they want to win some beer.

You aren't exactly on holiday in Finland. It should be your honeymoon but since you caught your groom balls deep in your maid of honour you instead have used it as an escape from the country. You just cannot be around the people you love right now, can't have them all look at you with all that pity. Even worse is that some of them probably don't even blame him. Your former best friend is a size 8, perfect hourglass figure. Your former partner is trim and decently fit. They look like they belong together more than you and him ever did.

You hate yourself. You hate looking in the mirror. You hate how clothes fit you. You deserved it you think.

"Not a chance MacTavish, that's my wife!"

"Away and biel yer heid, I saw her first!"

"Actually I saw her first!"

"I outrank all of you muppets so I think you'll find that is my wife!"

It's a racket in the little cafe but you don't pay much mind, still just staring out the window and wondering if you could ever deserve anything. One of the servers comes to take your empty cup and grins at you, telling you in her heavy accent that she would personally go for the one with the mask since he's the biggest. You don't understand when you look around and there are a lot of locals smiling happily over at you while four Greek Gods of men are having a scuffle, moving slowly in your direction. More people chip in, arguing about who you should pick, some lamenting that they would claim you themselves if they thought they could.

One big man does try, basically some Viking God, but he's playfully (you hope it's playful) spear tackled by the man with the mohawk before he laughs and backs off.

When Gaz with warmed cheeks and excitement in his eyes gets to you while Soap is busy with the viking and Ghost and Price are wrestling one another he asks if you'd do him the honour of being his wife. You nearly choke, but he explains that the wife carrying competition is today. You look around, bewildered, ask him why he wouldn't pick any of the other women in here given that they are all gorgeous slim things.

"Fuck all use to us, need a nice soft bird with lots of fat" says the man in the mask.

Price scowls and whacks his lieutenant upside the head because he sees how you look a second away from crying.

"You're gorgeous sweetheart, he didn't mean anything by it. The prize is the wife's weight in beer though, so he's right about a little lady not being much use."

You don't know what to say. You don't know if this is mortifying or not given that everyone around you seems to not be looking at you with sneers or laughing at you, but instead looking with soft smiles that convey fondness. They think this is adorable.

"Dinnae listen tae their nice soft birds and sweethearts! I'll be a better husband bonnie. I'm shorter aye bit look at the power in these legs, naw going tae drop ye. And I'll split that beer 50/50!"

And then they're arguing. The four of them are arguing and trying to put forward a case to you about why they would be the best husband. When it starts to get raunchy, you fluster and stop them. But fluster is something. It's not self loathing. It's been weeks since you felt anything but self loathing. So even though you are sure everyone can feel the heat rolling off of you in waves at how bashful you are under so much attention from such attractive men, you pick one (the others are devastated but vow that you're only a wife for the competition, that after they should get another shot at convincing you that they're the best option).

And they do. Even though the man you picked doesn't win (gets DQ'd actually since you are heavy and he decided that you were getting over that damn finish line so the four of them took turns) they take you out for drinks after. You think you feel humiliated that they couldn't carry you a long distance, but you don't have time to sit with the feeling because they drown it out with how warm and giddy they make you feel.

They insist that they will compete next year, so you have 365 days to pick a husband. When you make a quiet comment about how you'll lose weight by then so they can carry you the whole way, they nearly riot as they assure you that they would be a shit pick for husband if they didn't spent the year getting stronger so they can carry you just how you are. Plus they'll not be losing any beer thank you very much.

By the time the next wife carrying competition rolls around you are a different person. You're wearing clothes that fit instead of trying to hide your body. You laugh and flirt back with the barista instead of assuming they are making fun of you by flirting. And you don't care if your husband makes it over the finish line, just that you have fun and laugh and joke about the attempt. Of course it's not entirely certain who that husband is yet, got to keep them on their toes after all.

[covenists]

✦ IT GIVES YOU WINGS OR LOVE?, M. VERSTAPPEN

sometimes, the team that brought you in, could also gives you more opportunity to even meet your lover there.

taglist: @queenofmanydreams @muglermami @4limq @avengers-assemble123456 @cabbyhabs @meowtastick @4mula-1 @miarabanana @amel1ee @dinosushilun1 @auggieblogs @namgification @charli123456789 @cherry-piee

yourusername

liked by redbull and 237,144 others

yourusername Woohoo !!! SO hyped to grab 🥈 at my first slopestyle World Cup since the 2022 Olympics. Genuinely had so much fun out there today. Congrats to everyone for the insane level of riding, and thank you, as always, to the supporters for all the love ❤️ A few areas need a bit of work still, but none more than my champagne skills 🥴

view all 1,247 comments

redbull Super proud of you, Y/n! 😍

username there's something about redbull athletes and winning and i can't really put my finger on it...

maxverstappen1 Proud ❤️

username What is this motherly comments, Max

username MAX LATE COMMENTING????

username Rb downfall is real y'all

username rb downfall is started from max late commenting?

username That's a sign too

username I'm planning our wedding as we speak

redbullsnow It was magnificent

landonorris ahem, probably i can teach you my *signature* champagne pop

yourusername Hmm, but I don't want to destroy anybody's trophy though

username 💀💀💀💀

username OKAY OKAY WE GET IT

username until now i'm still questioning on how did he pulled this baddie

username I really need to see her with another Red Bull athletes out there

username her bf is literally max verstappen

username wait fr?

username She literally confess it in GMA, how's that fake?

username PR relationship is real yk...

username RENEW YOUR CONTRACT, MOTHER

username istg she looks like lily's lost twin

username At least she's not dutch, I'm with her

username why? what's wrong with being dutch?

username I'M TIRED OF HEARING THEIR NATIONAL ANTHEM OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE

username naw brother, prepared to hear them national anthem at the same time

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1 and 188,316 others

yourusername Celebratory lunch + A lil hair touchup 😆

view all 1,589 comments

username Ahem... No pic cred?

username I think you forgot to dry your hair

yourusername My stomach's grumbling so loud already, I can't hold it anymore to even dry my hair 😂

username UGH SHE'S SO PRETTYYY 😍😍

username PLS SAY YOU WILL RENEW YOUR CONTRACT

maxverstappen1 Don't forget to spare me some 🍴🍴

yourusername How cliché of you to comment this while eating my sushi 🤨

username HER SUSHI 😭😭

username Max late commenter is back but not with his motherly comments, but with a LIE who is now debunked by his own girlfriend

maxverstappen1 I thought she wouldn't reply to this

username better not to lie to a skier

username All of these were very much so obvious. You guys don't have to act like doing a soft launch when she already dropped a literal bomb to confess that she's dating Max in GMA

username heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes heart eyes

username I want to be her gf 😭😭😭

username You're unreal OMG

maxverstappen1

liked by carlossainz55 and 472,580 others

maxverstappen1 Flexing master #TiffanyPartner #TiffanyHardwear

view all 1,096 comments

yourusername I agreed to post here but what was the caption supposed to mean?

username It's giving Lily + Albon's dynamic

username Max influencer era is here and ready

username I want that hand to choke me

yourusername Whoa

username Istg she looks like a carbon copy of ＠lilymhe period.

username omg max is stealing her endorsement????

landonorris okay. the trial's over, let's make your own jpg account.

maxverstappen1 Wait, really?

landonorris no, just baiting.

username WHY IS HE SO ANNOYING 😭😭😭😭

username supportive bf max is my new favorite gender

username Who taught him to be like this?

alex_albon He's definitely has attended Alex Albon school of boyfriendery

username how come did her hair never looked the same in every frame she's in?

username but the hair color remain consistent till the end of the day

maxverstappen1 Drafts do exist, you know.

username OO ENDED THEM

username pls do a tutorial on how to make your fingers as long as hers

username I bet that is not Max's hand

username Break the bet, it is not

redbullracing · 24m

yourusername

liked by victoriaverstappen and 102,445 others

yourusername Truly enjoying my paddock debut here. Thank you ＠redbullracing for the invitation, definitely having much fun in Shanghai 🥰

view all 973 comments

username Me and the bad bitch I pulled after being WDC:

username LILY GO BACK TO ALEX'S GARAGE

username Rb couple domination is real

username Max: 🧍

username you guys better believe when they said red bull enjoyer belong, they were.

lilymhe Why are you guys looks so stiff? 💀

yourusername Wait until I asked him to go skiing. Let's see how stiff he would be.

maxverstappen1 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

username Can't wait to see Max skiing with her. Wonder if his skiing skill has improved ever since he's with her.

username next stop: the alps

username Oh it's her paddock debut? I thought I have seen her attending gp in Ausgp?

username That time she wasn't his gf just yet

alexandrasaintmleux Ahhh your fit is so cutee <3

yourusername YOURS TOOOOO 🌹🥺

username QUEEN IS BACK IN TOWN, SLAYING AS USUAL

username Whys your paddock pass looks different from the rest of the WAGS?

yourusername I was invited by ＠redbullracing as a guest. So that's why mine's different 💁🏼‍♀️

username Why would they invite you as a guest when you're already his gf tho😂

username Can you stop asking?

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername and 463,197 others

maxverstappen1 Alps: Day 1 ⛷️

view all 1,638 comments

username Wait why is it different?

maxverstappen1 Sometimes, one of us played it harshly and losing the original glasses. So we bought it new.

username AND IT ISN'T YOU??!?? OMG

username Awwww if my relationship not this sweet, I don't want it.

username Y/N WITHOUT HER RB STICKER HELMET AND ATTRIBUTES??? WOWOWOW

username mother and father🥴🥴🥴

username They're cute asf

carlossainz55 What a good day for a ski couples

username probably i should drink red bull to have someone like them

danielricciardo Who wins?

yourusername We're both... Losing, actually

danielricciardo I KNEW IT

yourusername

liked by schecoperez and 157,839 others

yourusername Turns out, he's not that bad of a skier too.

view all 2,630 comments

maxverstappen1 Hey, I don't look like that

maxverstappen1 How could you do this after I posted out sweet moments yesterday

maxverstappen1 What is this betrayal

username Alright Granny, let's get you to bed

username WHO'S THAT ON THE SECOND SLIDEEEEEE

charles_leclerc What was that outfits 😂😂

yourusername Don't say as if your fits were not like that

charles_leclerc Mine's fashionable, sorry.

lilymhe Fashionable just for leo's eyes

username i love how contrast their posts are. ah soulmate

username I want what they're having toooooo

username His digital footprints is something that I have to go for a dig

username Well apparently the both of them were losing

username says who?

username Daniel and Y/n on Max's post

username I know they were never gonna be the best at competing at each other

username if their relationship was really a pr, i don't believe it

[agendabymooner]

stop the world i wanna get off with you ! kimi r. x ofc (coppola!ofc)

“with the exception of you, i dislike everyone in the room.”

summary: vera jones ‘coppa’ coppola-raikkonen happens to be one of the three original it girls of formula one. funnily enough, she’s also the one to give birth to the loudest/messiest versions of the iceman as she continues her journey as a mother and a wife (all while she’s a director of the most iconic movies to have existed).

content warning: fictional raikkonen kids, mentions of breakups, mentions of tilly hearth and trish alonso (ofc) use of explicit language, family banters in social media

note: i know i have the most random selection of drivers on my masterlist but i swear i’m just tryna indulge in my lil bubble of happiness.

masterlist

tagged romaraikkonen, kimimatiasraikkonen

liked by arthurleclerc, olliebearman, charles_leclerc

user1 icegirl on fire as always 🧊🔥

user2 real hot girl shit of you roma 😩

arthurleclerc aroma, you’re supporting the wrong leclerc 😀 liked by veracopparaikko

romaraikkonen i can tell you that my shirts are nothing of an inchident. trust. liked by veracopparaikko

charles_leclerc i cannot believe i am being picked on by my favourite icegirl 😠

romaraikkonen hardly picking on you when i got ur name and face on my shirts??? smh i didn’t ask mum to get them for me to get called a h8r

rooraikkonen cool story maniac, can you run over jolauriraikkonen next?

romaraikkonen i’ll start with you first then i go target johann next, yes?

jolauriraikkonen what did i do??? i didn’t leave your pc plugged in, akka rooraikkonen witch

veracopparaikko kimimatiasraikkonen your kids are at it again, kimi.

kimimatiasraikkonen not my problem

veracopparaikko 😠

jolauriraikkonen it’s okie mum i’ll make sure dad sleeps on the couch tonight 😉

jolauriraikkonen dad did say 3 sprint races win = i get to go to the next three races too 😍 thank you for the team effort romaraikkonen liked by veracopparaikko

romaraikkonen omagaaaaa these are officially the worst races ever

ferraridriveracademy how are we going to put you two together in one room then?

romaraikkonen don’t.

jolauriraikkonen i’m gonna sob, this is a w for me

romaraikkonen what are you even doing up??? aren’t u like 14?

veracopparaikko question is: why are you even on your instagram? 🤨

jolauriraikkonen oh so when dad does it, it’s okay? he has to get up early too you know???

kimimatiasraikkonen please don’t involve me in this

user3 we love an unproblematic king 😭😭

user4 why are these kids so funny 🥲

kimimatiasraikkonen so proud of my girl 🧊❤️ liked by veracopparaikko

romaraikkonen like father like daughter 😉❤️🤝

tagged rooraikkonen, kimimatiasraikkonen

liked by landonorris, tillywolff, valterribottas

jolauriraikkonen 1/10. she looked more like the bottom of beetlejuice’s foot than the lady herself.

user1 naw johann-lauri got kimi’s humour for sure

rooraikkonen i’m gonna crash to your kart next time and you’re going to be crying to dad and dad will literally just laugh at you

kimimatiasraikkonen no, i won’t.

user2 LMFAO KIMI PLEASE

jolauriraikkonen hahahahahahaha cry

kimimatiasraikkonen second time this day, johann. next time i’m taking the switch. liked by veracopparaikko

user3 ruh-roh raikkonen is at it

jolauriraikkonen my bad g 🤝

kimimatiasraikkonen all good g 🤝

user4 a proof that johann is kimi-coded ^^

rooraikkonen thank you sooooo much mummy !!! i thought i was going to cry for a minute then i realized how much of a baddie my mummy-producer-writer-director is 😭😩 liked by veracopparaikko

veracopparaikko you fluster me, rooney tunes! ❤️

kimimatiasraikkonen your performance is very good, rooroo! henrik and betty were excited to see you on stage 😍 liked by veracopparaikko

rooraikkonen dad, betty-elina can barely hear from that headphones we got her.

rooraikkonen though i could hear henrik’s screaming during the intermission. 😂

rooraikkonen thank you daddy !! i’m glad i’m making the iceman proud 🧊💕 liked by veracopparaikko

tagged kimimatiasraikkonen, jolaurisraikkonen

liked by arthurleclerc, olliebearman, fernandoalo_oficial

jolauriraikkonen y’all cannot one up my mother because her resume is long as heck. she’s: mother, director, writer, actor, producer, photographer 😎 liked by veracopparaikko

jolauriraikkonen look at me and the boys though 😎

user1 you’re the coolest brother ever

rooraikkonen bc he’s the only brother henrik got 😂😂😂

user2 iceman and his iceboys and his ice cream

user3 too cold in here lads 🥶

romaraikkonen look at my cool lil man and dad 😍 oh and johann liked by veracopparaikko

jolauriraikkonen count ur days bestie

user4 where did the american-italian look go, vera?? 😭

rooraikkonen speaking on behalf of mum. the coppola genes had gone away as soon as romania came out, but uncle nicolas cage definitely did not leave

user4 subtle flex but okay pop off bestie 🔥

kimimatiasraikkonen such handsome boys liked by veracopparaikko

veracopparaikko i agree

romaraikkonen so do i

rooraikkonen me too

jolauriraikkonen i agree too

[sadistic-kiss]

Use Me (Kinktober Fic)

Succubus Reader x Various JJK Men

.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.Chapter Seven.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.

“Watch and learn ladies and gents.” Toji spoke cockily as he hit the cue ball. It cracked loudly pingponging around. When all the commotion stopped, Fushiguro’s competitors released a loud groan. He grinned victoriously, only needing one more ball to win. Pool had always been an easy game for him to ace. Especially after Nanami showed him the keys to success.

“Alright Toj, Take us home.” His partner saluted him with his beer.

Toji picked up the chalk as he twisted the blue cube over the tip of the stick. That's when he heard the little chime of your bell. He glanced toward the crowd, looking for you. Were the peacocks done fanning out their feathers? Yet as his gaze surfed around he didn't see you or the others.

Perhaps it was his imagination.

“Come on man just take your shot!” the sore losers called in irritation.

Toji licked his lips with a seductive roll of his eyes, “I gotta make sure she's perfect for me.” he blew upon the tip and tossed the chalk to the side as he got into position. Bending at the hips he angled his shot perfectly. He heard the chime again, this time much louder, like you were right behind him. He looked back with furrowed brows. That time he was sure he heard the jingle, but once again you were nowhere to be found. This must be one of your little tricks. You were toying with him. Probably upset from earlier. He snorted before looking back. “Ngh-” his eyes widen seeing you on the table. Knees spread as you looked back at him with innocent-looking eyes. Yet what you were doing was far from innocent. You were dressed in a cute little doll outfit, one of his favorites with the blue bows and white knee-high socks. His cue stick was rubbing your frilly panties, splitting your cunt.

“You-” he grits his teeth as the blood immediately rushes to the lower parts of his body.

“Hm~daddy~ what are you doing?” you questioned with a sickeningly sweet voice. It echoed in his mind.

You weren't actually there. No one else could see you but him. Seriously? You were already able to make him hallucinate, and so vividly? Who the fuck gave you this much power? He gulped as everyone looked at him questioningly.  

“You good bro?” his samurai partner questioned.

“Fine.” he bit out with a little growl. He tried to focus, ignoring the illusion of you. He just had to make this one shot. He moved the stick back and you let out a little squeak-but fuck you were making this difficult. His jaw clenched hard as he moved the stick back and forth- he swears he was just readying for the shot- but it rubbed beautifully upon your cunt.

“Kyah~st-stop~” you cried.

He could barely swallow the saliva in his mouth. Eyeing how wet your panties were getting from his actions.

Fuck you look so-

‘HIT THE BALL!’ he yelled at himself internally.

*Smack!*

He hit the ball throwing himself away from the table knowing damn well he didn't make it.

“Bummer dude.” but his opponents made sure to twist the shameful blade.

He rolled his eyes to the crowd. Where the fuck were you! You were making him miss out on money! He listened and sniffed for his little pet. “You see our kitten around?” he asked his buddy while still searching.

“Hm? Oh, that cute thing? Naw haven't seen her.” The guy answered before crushing his beer. “You worried about her?”

“Yeah…” Toji lied. You were a powerful being. Even if you didn't think so they were all very much aware of how scary your potential was. He wasn't afraid for you. You can handle yourself. He looked toward the table with a little tick of his scared lip. He was afraid to LOSE HIS MONEY! Your illusion was no longer on the table so he could only hope you would shed him some mercy for his little joke from earlier.

You…didn’t take that personally right?

He rubbed the stick thoughtfully, wondering if he could feel the wetness upon it. Sadly he couldn't. What he saw wasn't real after all, but perhaps he would need to recreate that scenario when this stupid party was over.

He was elbowed back to reality. “Your go Toj.”

“Right.” he nodded stepping up to the table. He took a deep breath, getting ready-

*Ding~*

That damn chime again- this time it was under him. He glanced down before he could tell himself not to. You were on your knees, looking up at him, with fluttering lashes.

Not this time- he looked back up and nearly passed out. Your legs were spread in the splits, pussy glistening for his view. You were so wet it was dripping upon the table. You moaned, with the very ball he needed inside of you. You toyed with it with a teasing finger before it plopped out and rolled toward him, hitting his hand.

“Oh god-” he flinched. The stick barely tapped the ball but his opponents jumped and pointed.

“Ah! You hit it! That counts!”

“Are- are you fucking kidding?” Toji hissed eyes moved to them but quickly tried to find you. You were gone within a blink.

“Rules are rules!”

“I-s-something was in my eye!”

Everyone around burst into a fit of laughter, making the older man feel angrily embarrassed. However, the tinkle of your laugh was heard much louder. Right in his ear. He looked to see you were in the crowd giggling, but within the next flash of light, you were gone.

Your bell chimes like a haunting whisper.

You little…

Toji growled in irritation, taking the stick he snapped it over his knee making everyone shut up instantly.

“Where the fuck is my pet!” he barked while pushing into the crowd. If a cock is what you wanted then a cock is what he’s going to give you. All fifteen fucking inches!

~

You watch from the banister as Toji pushes into the crowd looking for you.

You released a little giggle at his frustrated expression.

Served him right.

You move in the opposite direction, content with allowing the beast to chase you.

You had quite the meal, you were much stronger now. So you saw the boy before he even grabbed you around your wrist, but you let him pull you into his room.

His lips were upon you as soon as your back hit the door.

“Yu?” you gasped with an excited smile.

“Hey, baby~” he grinned while kissing you.

“You were able to get away from Nanami?” you giggled as his lips moved over your neck.

“I maaaay have tricked him.” he released a boyish chuckle while lifting you. He carried you to his desk, sitting you in his black and white chair.

“Tricked him? Hm~” You place a finger upon his lips as you guide him to the floor. “…I just might be a bad influence just like they say.”

“No never!” Yu pouted sliding your panties down. “They just don't see you how I see you…” his cheeks blushed as he slipped your feet out of the fabric. “…If they did then they'd understand.”

You felt heat touch your heart as you smiled sweetly, you flicked your fingers making your boots disappear. “…and…” You breathed as Yu massaged your calf, placing kisses upon your leg like your very presence was a blessing bestowed upon his life. “…how do you see me?” you questioned pressing your foot into his crotch.

Yu sucked in a breath while rolling his eyes, “As…mm…the m-most beautiful queen who deserves to be praised.”

A flirty giggle left your lips. You roll your leg up as you place your foot on his desk. “Would you like… to please your queen?”

“Yes!” Yu barked out excitedly.

“Good boy.” Sliding your fingers into his brown hair, you bring him closer so that his face may nestle between your thighs.

He blushed madly, the scent of his precum filled your nose. You know Yu would rather be your pet than the other way around.

You let out a little cry, feeling his wet tongue touch you so delicately yet eagerly. He moaned bobbing his head slowly as he enjoyed his treat.

There was no use in holding your pleasure back, that would just be rude. You made sure to let him know how pleased you were. Praising him and whispering sweet nothings. His hands grabbed your thighs, spreading you wider for his wicked tongue.

Your eyes rolled as your orgasm shocked your core. “Ah~! Yuuu~!” you whine while gripping on him tightly.

“Hm~!” Haibara groaned in pleasure as you squirt on his tongue. He smiled with pride, licking his lips. “I think…hm… that's the fastest I've made you cum…” he grinned but then he got wobbly as he fell backward under his desk.

“Ai!” You let out a gasp, cupping his face. “Are you okay?” Unfortunately, even your juices will drain him of his curse energy.

“Y-yeah… just give me a minute.” He smiled with droopy lids.

“I-”

“Yu!” You heard the blonde callout.

Oh fuck.

“Are you in here…” Nanami opened the door as his gaze rested on you, who was now sitting upright at Yu’s desk with your chin resting on your fist.

Well well well…if it wasn't the certified cockblocker.

.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.Chapter Eight.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.

[novankenn]

I have an Idea what if Jaune is harem protagonist that doesn't want to be one? Like no matter how much he tries women keep falling for him while he just trying to be a huntsman. The idea is based off the Yo-kai Watch fanfiction "The Unwanted Harem Of Nathan Adams" by Black_Omochao on Archiveofourown

NOPE... NAW... NEY...NAH... NO!!!

Jaune: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT MOM!!

Jaune's Mom: What could you ever be accusing me of, darling?

Jaune didn't answer as his attention was taken by evading and countering the frenzied grab of his partner... the one and only Pyrrha Nikos.

Jaune: YOU FUCKING WELL...

Jaune's Mom: LANGUAGE! I taught you better than that, young man!

Pyrrha: 💕Jaune 💕 I love you! (ACK! HACK! CHOKE! COUGH!)

Jaune backs away a spray bottle held before him. A spray bottle filled with Ice Dust infused water. A spray bottle he just used to hit his overly grabby partner in the face with.

Jaune: You KNEW I was holding out for my one true love, and yet you had to publicly release... that... that FILTH!

Jaune's Mom: Your baby pictures are not filth!

Jaune: They are when they make women go psycho for me!

Jaune's Mom: You're getting older, as am I... you're training for a VERY dangerous profession... can you... really blame me?

Jaune: YES I FUCKING CAN!

Jaune's Mom: LANGUAGE! You are NOT too big for you to put over my knee, young man!

Pyrrha had shaken off the effects of the icy cold mist and was once again preparing to close on her prey. With his scroll cradled between his shoulder and his ear, Jaune frantically twisted the nozzle...

Pyrrha: 💕Jaune 💕... AHHHH!!!!!! COLD!!!! COLD!!!

Pyrrha danced about JNPR's dorm room holding her chest... Jaune having scored a direct hit to her cleavage.

Jaune's Mom: That is NOT the way to treat your future wife Jaune!

Jaune: No... It's the only way I'll be able to keep my chastity until I GET MARRIED!!!

Jaune's Mom: Married. Smarried. I was expecting Spahron by the time your block-headed father finally asked me to marry him.

Jaune: Expecting... Saphron? But she's like the third eldest? Did you baby trap Dad?

Jaune's Mom: No. Good Heavens why would you suggest something like that? I'm your mother, and I love you father and all my babies... almost as much as I'll love all the grandbabies...

Jaune: If you want grandbabies... ask my sisters!

Jaune's Mom: I plan to... however my dear, darling, dense as lead son... you... can... give... me... more... much... faster... capeesh?

Pyrrha: 💕Jaune 💕... AHHH!!! NOT AGAIN!!! COLD!!! COLD!! COLD!!

Jaune: I am not jumping into the bed with every baby-crazed girl you send my way mom! I'm not!

Jaune's Mom: Oh, honey... they're coming whether you like it or not...

KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK...

Weiss: 💕Jaune 💕

Ruby: 💕Jaune 💕

Blake: 💕Jaune 💕

Yang: 💕Jaune 💕

Velvet: 💕Jaune 💕

Coco: 💕Jaune 💕

Goodwitch: 💕Jaune 💕

Cinder: 💕Jaune 💕

Emerald: 💕Jaune 💕

Octavia: 💕Jaune 💕

Dew: 💕Jaune 💕

Nebula: 💕Jaune 💕

Gwen: 💕Jaune 💕

Ciel: 💕Jaune 💕

Neon: 💕Jaune 💕

Reese: 💕Jaune 💕

Arslan: 💕Jaune 💕

May: 💕Jaune 💕

Raven: 💕Jaune 💕

Militia: 💕Jaune 💕

Mel: 💕Jaune 💕

Winter: 💕Jaune 💕

Elm: 💕Jaune 💕

Harriet: 💕Jaune 💕

Willow: 💕Jaune 💕

Atlas Moms: 💕Jaune 💕

Jaune: Gods preserve me...

Pyrrha: 💕Jaune 💕

In the corner Ren and Nora are seated on Ren's bed with Neo, watching the unfolding chaos. Small slips of paper being passed between them.

Nora: Neo says she has 200 on him reaching the bullhead docks.

Ren: I say 300 for him only reaching the front doors.

The dorm room door crumbles allowing all of Jaune's "suitors" entrance...

Nora: Well I say 500 for just the win...

SHATTER!!! CRASH!!!

ALL the Girls: 😱JAUNE!!! 😱

Nora: Crap baskets! I lost.

All the girls vanish in a whirl of dust, papers and loose clothes.

Ren: I understand why Nora's not part of that group, but you seem...

Neo (Typing on her scroll) Oh, I want him too... I just prefer the long game, besides I need money to get a proper dress.

Ren: Ah. So Bullhead?

Neo: (Typing on her scroll) No, change that. 1000 that he reaches Vale.

Jaune's Mom: (From Jaune's discarded scroll on the floor) Jaune? Jaune? Are you there? DO not be giving me the silent treatment young man! If you're not talking you BETTER be busy putting babies in those lovely young women... Jaune? Are you there? Anyone?

/==/

A/N: I think I missed the mark, but hey... it got me writing. 😁😁Thanks for the ask. Hope you enjoy.

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

You're the Only Girl for Me - Chapter 2

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

Taglist: @christinabae@southerngirl41@reci24@jeyusos-girl@jeyusosgirl@melaninsugababy@baconeggndcheez@bemybabiibish@jstarr86@nbanenefrmdao@purplehairgawdess@arination99@alyyaanna@m3llowww@gomussy@jeysbae@hennyyybarb@babysyhsy @bebesobrielo @jeysbae @empressdede @alyyaanna @venusesworld

gif credit: @laknxght

AIRIELLEJONES

liked by trinity_fatu, rhearipley_wwe, and 185,000 others

AIRIELLEJONES: I win, you lose 💋

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user: here's to me simping 🥂

trinity_fatu: girl! 😍

OCTOBER 25th 2020 (HELL IN A CELL)

Josh felt like a creep staring at Airielle as she filmed a segment with Paul Heyman for the kickoff show. It was like she was everywhere he was. When he had a segment with Kayla, Airielle was there. When he wanted to hang out with Trin and his brother. Airielle was there. She was literally everywhere. 

“Stop staring.” He jumped as Trinity came and stood next to him. “You know she thinks you don't like her.” 

“What?” He said his eyes glancing over at Trin before looking back over at Airielle. 

“Yup.” Trinity nodded but then shrugged. “She also thinks you’re an asshole.” Josh turned his face up. 

“Man what? What the hell I do?”  Trinity shrugged again with a smirk on her face. 

“Kayla told her that you ghosted her.” 

“Ghosted- man what?” Josh said again in disbelief.  

“Yup, told Kayla she could do so much better than you.” Trinity couldn’t help but laugh at the look on Josh’s face but then immediately apologized. 

“Hey guys.” Airielle smiled as she walked over to the two of them.  Josh couldn’t help but let his eyes roam her body. 

“Hey girly, you still driving back to Pensacola with us right?” Trinity asked Airielle who nodded. 

“You comin’ with us?” Josh blurted out, causing Airielle and Trinity to look over at him. 

“Yeah. Is that a problem? “ Airielle asked, crossing her arms over her chest and arching an eyebrow at him. 

“Naw my bad.” He said scratching the back of his neck. “Imma go. I see you later Trin.” He said before walking away. 

“We’re just waiting on Airielle.” Trinity said when Josh entered the SUV. Josh nodded and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. His match with Joe had been brutal and all he wanted to do was sleep. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Airielle said as she got in the SUV in the backseat with Josh. 

“Girl, you good. Josh just got here too.” Airielle blew out a sigh of relief. She had run all the way to the parking lot in her high ass heels because she thought they were waiting for her. 

“Are we good? I can drive now?” Jon asked, putting the car in drive. He waited until everyone gave him approval before pulling out of the parking lot. Josh kept looking at Airielle out of the corner of his eye. She was giggling as she typed on her phone and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course she had a boyfriend. Why wouldn't she?  He looked away from her and caught the eye of his twin who was looking at him through the rearview mirror. He did roll his eyes when Jon winked at him. 

They were about 2 hours into the 6 hour drive when Trinity said she needed to use the restroom. Jon pulled over and laughed when Trinity and Airielle hopped out the car, rushing towards the bathroom. 

“So.” Jon started as he looked at Josh in the mirror. “How you doin back there?” Josh thinking that he was talking about how his body was feeling after the match answered his question. 

“Sore as fuck Uce. My back all fucked up.” Jon scoffed and shook his head. 

“No, how you doing with Airielle back there.”  Josh rolled his eyes and dug his headphones out his bag but before he could put them on Jon snatched them out his hand. 

“Man, leave me alone.”  Jon was about to reply but the girls got back into the car with a bag full of snacks. Jon rolled his eyes when he saw Trinity munching on a Laffy Taffy. 

“I thought we talked about the candy Trin.” Jon said, trying to take it out her mouth but she slapped his hand away. 

“Stop it. Airi forced me to get it.” 

“Hey!” Airielle cried out, causing Trinity to laugh. Jon then turned his attention to her. 

“What, you got a whole bunch of candy too?” He asked reaching for her bag but she tossed it into the trunk and stuck her tongue out at him when he narrowed his eyes at her. Josh would never admit it outloud but he was feeling jealous watching Airielle and his brother interact. It wasn’t that he was scared to talk to her, he just didn’t know what to say to her and his words always came out high pitched when talked to her.. It was embarrassing. 

“Did yall get us anything at least?.”  Jon asked and they nodded. Airielle grabbed her bag out of the trunk and dug for the bag of mini snickers and a bottle of water before handing them to Josh. 

“Trin said you like these.”  Josh nodded and grabbed the items out of her hands, thanking her. 

4 hours into the ride Josh jumped awake when the SUV jerked to the side. “My bad y’all.” Trinity said. “My jam came on.” Airielle laughed and tried to get back comfortable but she was freezing. She kept rubbing her arms and Josh dug into his bag and pulled out a Batman blanket and handed it to her. She arched her eyebrow at the character. 

“It’s my sons. He gives it to me so I have something of his while I'm on the road..” She awed and thanked him, grabbed the blanket from him and wrapping herself in it. 

Airielle woke up as soon as Trinity pulled up in front of her parents house. 

“Damn girl.” Jon whistled and rolled the windows down to get a better look at the house. “This all you?” Airielle chuckled and let out a yawn as she put her shoes back on her feet. 

“No, this is my parents house. I’m staying here tonight”  She got out of the car and went to grab her luggage from the trunk but Josh had already beaten her there. “Oh, thank you.” She said, surprised. 

“Don’t forget about the Barbecue tomorrow!” Trinity yelled out the window to her and Airielle nodded and told Trinity that she would be there.  She tried to grab her luggage from Josh but he shook his head. 

“Nah I can carry it to the door for you.” He said walking towards the front door. Airielle waved to Jon and Trin before following Josh to the front door of her parents house. He set her stuff down and turned to walk away. 

“Thank you.” She said again, causing him to turn around. “You didn’t have to do that.”  He shrugged and walked back towards the SUV, getting in and closing the door. Airielle waved again as they drove off before walking into her parent’s house and making her younger brother go get her luggage from outside. 

OCTOBER 26th 2020

“So they’re having a cookout on a Monday?” Airielle’s cousin Yasmine asked as Airielle was getting ready to go over to Jon and Trin’s house. 

“Not a cookout, they just having dinner and they invited me.” Airielle said as she placed her green hat on her head. She looked at Yasmine in the mirror and rolled her eyes at her pouty face. “I already asked if you could come and Trin said yeah.” She said laughing when Yasmine jumped up off her bed and went to get dressed. 

“See, told you not a cookout.” Airielle whispered to Yasmine as they walked into Jon and Trin’s backyard and only seen Jon, Trin, Josh and Joe. Yasmine rolled her eyes at Airielle as Trinity came over to them. 

“Hi, I’m Trin. Nice to meet you.” She said to Yasmine as she pulled her into a hug and led her and Airielle over to the boys. 

Josh watched as Airielle threw her head back and laughed at something Joe had said. He waited until Joe walked away to walk over to her. He wasn’t drunk but he was definitely tispy and wasn’t nervous to talk to her. 

He downed the rest of his beer before standing up from his chair and walking over. “Hey.” he said and she looked up from her phone. 

“Hi Josh,” She said, forcing a smile on her face. She felt like she had a sort of loyalty to Kayla and from what Kayla had told her Josh was an asshole and Airielle wanted nothing to do with him. 

“So uh,” He scratched the back of his neck. “Trin said you think imma  asshole.” He said and she nodded with no hesitation. “Why? You don’t even know me.” 

She shrugged. “I was talking to Kayla and she told me what you did to her.”  He sucked his teeth. 

“Man, I ain't do nothing to her.” She scoffed and rolled her eyes. She looked around the backyard for a way out of the conversation but everyone had gone inside the house. She sighed and turned her attention back to him. 

“So playing with her emotions it’s being an asshole?” When he furrowed her eyebrows at her and she continued. “Having her think that y’all could be a thing only to ghost her isn’t being an asshole?” Josh started to shake his head. 

“Ion know what Kay told you. But that ain’t what happened.” Airielle scoffed and rolled her eyes. Of course that’s what he would say.  “I’m not lying. I told Kay that I ain’t wanna, you know anymore and she agreed. Ion know why she told you all that.”  Airielle squinted her eyes at him and he held up his hand. “I’m not lying, scouts honor.” Airielle turned to walk away but Josh grabbed her arm. 

She snatched her arm from him. “Ok fine you’re not lying about Kayla. But everytime i’m around you, you look at me like I got seven heads or something. Like I did something to you.”   

“Nah, that's not it. You ain't do nothing to me.” He said scratching his beard. 

“So what is it then?” When he said nothing she turned and started to walk towards the house again. 

“Okay wait, wait.” He said,  stopping her from walking away. “Let’s start over.” He held out his hand for her to shake. “I’m Josh, nice to meet you.” Her eyes bounced between his face and his hand before placing her hand in his, causing him to smile at her. 

“I’m Airielle.” 

NOVEMBER 6th 2020

“Hey.” Airielle jumped when she suddenly heard Josh’s voice. 

“Hey Josh,” She said, smiling at him. 

“Where you been at, I ain’t see you in a week.” He immediately regretted saying that when she smirked at him. 

“Awe, You missed me Joshua?” She giggled when he rolled his eyes at her. They haven’t seen eachother since dinner at Trin and Jon’s house. After they had reintroduced themselves they had talked for about 2 hours more, getting to know each other. She was fun to talk to but she still made him nervous, extremely nervous. 

“Maybe, where the hell you been at?” 

“I had a family emergency.” 

“Vague.” She laughed. “You ready for our segment later?” 

“Yup, don’t get mad at what I say.”  He narrowed his eyes at her but before he could respond she stood up from her chair. “Bye” She giggled as she walked away from him. 

Airielle stood on her spot, waiting for the cameraman to start the countdown. Once he got to one and gave her a thumbs up, Airielle put a smile on her face. 

“I’m standing by with my guest Jey Uso” Airielle said smiling to the camera as Jey walked into frame. “Jey.” She started, turning her attention to him. “The last month or two have been extremely emotional and trying for you. But I wanna take you back to last week in particular.” She said as she and Jey looked towards the T.V monitor that played what happened last week on Smackdown. 

While they watched the video package. Airielle noticed that Josh couldn’t stay still; he was shifting from foot to foot - a telltale sign that he was nervous. 

“Hey,” She whispered, making him snap his head to look at her. “You okay?” she asked and he nodded his head. 

“Yeah I’m fine.” He said clearing his throat and she nodded, straightening her posture just as the video package ended. 

“Well Jey, after watching that back can you explain your actions?” She asked before holding the microphone to him. 

“Yeah I did what I had to do Airielle.” He said keeping his eyes on the ground and not looking at Airielle. “It was nothing personal. I consider D.B a friend. I’m sorry Uce, but he aint blood. Family is forever.” Airielle nodded and brought the microphone back to her lips. 

“You’re right.” She shrugged. “Family is forever.. Unless you don’t fall in line and do what Roman Reigns tells you to do right?” She said and Josh chuckled. “Otherwise, according to Roman you’re out of the family.” She finished and Josh bit the inside of his cheek and looked up from the ground and made eye contact with Airelle. 

“Oh so you got jokes too huh? Everybody wanna tell jokes today.” He said and she narrowed her eyes at him as Paul Heyman walked into frame. 

“Hi.” Paul said, eyeing Airielle. “How are you?” She opened her mouth to respond but he cut her off. “Question, did Roman Reigns authorize this interview?”  She went to answer but Paul cut her off again. “It was rhetorical.” Airielle rolled her eyes. “No he did not .” He said squinting his eyes at her before leaning closer to Jey. “Roman needs to talk to you.” He told Jey. 

Airielle sighed. “Well Jey, it seems as if Paul Heyman has a better spot in the family then you do.” Jey scoffed at her. 

“You still throwing shade huh? Airielle shrugged as Jey scoffed again before walking away with Paul. 

He walked back over to her once the camera’s cut off.  “Damn Rih, why you had to do me like that?” 

“Too much?” 

“Nah, you good. Just kinda threw me off guard a bit.” They stood there, awkwardly. “Um, I gotta film with Uce next but uh, you wanna have dinner or something tonight?” 

“Just me and you?” He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek. 

“Yeah, Jon and Trin ain't here. I can invite Joe if you want me too.” 

“No” She shook her head with a chuckle. “Me and you is cool. Meet you in the parking lot? He nodded before giving her an awkward fist bump before walking away. 

“I'm sorry. I forgot COVID restrictions got everything closing early.” Airielle laughed as she entered the passenger seat of his rental car. 

“It's fine. I forgot too. I think McDonald’s is still open, we can eat in the car.” She said as she pulled out her phone and pulled up the directions to the closest McDonalds. After getting their food, he parked the car. 

“So, what's your full name?” He asked after basically demolishing his food. 

“What?” She asked, choking on a french fry. He chuckled and passed her, her drink. 

“Come on, we're friends right?” She nodded

“So answer the question.”  She rolled her eyes.

“Fine, Airielle Noelle Jones. Your turn.” 

“Nope, gotta ask ya own question now.”  She scoffed then let out a chuckle before asking,

“How old are you?” 

“35” Her eyes widened. “What?” 

“Nothing, you look younger than 35.” He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from giggling like a schoolgirl. 

"You got a boyfriend?" He asked and immediately regretted it when he seen the look on her face. "Or a girlfriend. I don't judge." She laughed.

"No I don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend."

"Oh, okay." He said nodding "Good."

“You staying in Orlando for another day?” He asked and she nodded. He had walked her to her hotel room. It was well past 1 in the morning. They had been in the McDonalds parking lot talking for about 3 hours. 

“Yeah, filming Talking Smack tomorrow.”  He nodded and bit the inside of his cheek.

“So can I take you out again when you get back to Pensacola?”  

“Yeah, I would like that.” Airielle smiled before saying goodnight and walking into her hotel room.

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

[ghouldtime]

HI HI HELLO MY NEW FAV COD ACC <33 from my comments you can see how much i love your könig teehee 😚😚 Question ! if he would give them any gifts (ex: birthdays or christmas), what kind of gift would he give? would he give a “just because” gift or naw? to me, i’d think he’d give very thoughtful and hand-made things but i’d like to know your input :33 LOVE YOU!!

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚 AWWWH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH I'm so glad you like my version of him :D

(I'm just assuming the 'them' being 'the person who is closest to him/a Significant other')

König is a considerate, thoughtful gift giver. Because his words tend to fail him and actions speak louder than words, he speaks THROUGH those actions. Giving gifts is actually one of his favorite love languages! He knows he can't be around all the time and it's his way of giving a solid reminder of his affection and care for you.

He's actually someone who hates thoughtless or "useless" gifts. Being given things that you can't use and don't fit you is basically just offloading junk or saying you don't put thought into it or try to consider the person. It's one thing if the attempt is there but usually many people are lacking. He's not one of those.

Before he gets you ANYTHING, he's thoroughly considering it. What do you need? What do you want? What do you like? He always tries to figure out by what you say or even off handed remarks. Usually, casually talking to someone is the best way to find out what gift they need or might want.

Such as someone who mentions that, offhandedly, their old baking apron is a bit stained and dirty and are embarrassed about the state of it as they put it on. Not that he cares, he sees those as indication of it being well used and well loved, but if you seemed so flustered, why on earth wouldn't he make you a new one with fancy pockets and all? He knows how to sew. And he can pick a fabric of your favorite color! And monogram it! (ignore the little crown on the tag, that's just his personal signature)

He's very much someone who gives 'just because' gifts. He doesn't need an occasion to do it. Just going "I saw this and thought of you" is enough of a motivator. Don't always expect a fancy presentation, he'll often just give you things without warning.

The only time he'll REALLY go out of his way to put in extra effort for aesthetics and presentation would be on days personally significant to you and things such as holidays/birthdays where that is usually a given. His gifts will NEVER be low effort, but he'll be putting in that extra touch on those times.

They'll always be personal, clearly thought out, even if it is just a box of chocolates with a handwritten note on top. That being said, he greatly prefers to handmake gifts he gives. "It's the thought that counts" is usually expressed best by him when its something he makes himself. He'll put love into every second he makes it (even if he's saying some not so lovely words if he does something like burning his hand on a hot glue gun, RIP)

Naturally, he has that artistic side, he got it from his mom. He's got a wide range of skills and talents and will pick up new projects and types from time to time. Learning a new skill or art style is absolutely on the table so if you want something, he'll learn, he'll do it. He LIKES learning, he likes getting to find new creative ways to express himself, he likes trying his best and seeing just what he can do. It keeps his hands busy, mind sharp, and it makes you happy! Win-win situation all around.

His most favored craft is certainly creating miniatures and his beloved dioramas - he'll be ecstatic if you share his enthusiasm and WILL make whatever you want. Doesn't care what it is, if you want to paint a detailed scene of unicorns getting their hooves done at a salon, he'll do it. Nothing is too out there, he just wants to make you happy.

But in general, expect plenty of random gifts from him. They're not always going to be the most extravagant but he'll put his heart into it as thanks for sharing yours with him 💚

[fleshwerks]

yeeeeah, what monster would sacrifice like 10 mercenaries boat. fully manned and carrying around 200 people, and a shit ton of gunpowder and the cannon technology to use it and use it well. for an alliance of necessity with thedas' single most technologically advanced nation that's even giving the Tevene magocracy pause.

sure, we later learned that they were gonna betray you anyway, or at least one qunari faction was. but when the sky's split open, sure. save 10 randos who couldn't even get their job done properly, and fuck those 100 other souls, their war boat and all that firepower and someone in the north who can coordinate keeping tevene cultists in check where your southern ass can't reach.

it could'we worked if the inquisitor had the option to investigate beforehand, why the hell is a fully manned, large, explosive qunari ship, just one ship pulling up without a lighter escort fleet at the shore of a sea that they KNOW is infested with lighter, faster Venatori ships manned with fireball-slinging war mages (they're literally in Ferelden BECAUSE that massive, unwieldy oarship is chasing a troublesome, light Venatori smuggling ship lol, you're never gonna catch it with that behemoth of a dreadnought that evidently operates solely with oarsmen, no sail or mast in sight). That why does this massive and easily explodable gunship even pulling up at the shore when it should be sitting well out of the shore's reach while the qunari disembark in boats, allowing the ship to remain mobile and protected by its small support fleet that didn't apparently exist.

You could've done some real spy shit there, use Bull to truly suss out what the hell is going on with that house on oars showing up unprotected at a hostile shore. Instead you get an 'uhh idk, [bull disapproves the inquisitor being suspicious]' from him while his incompetent crew misses a spot check and now three (or was it four lel) fire mages lazily saunter down the shore without a worry in the world, fling three fireballs and the dreadnought while it sits there like a useless lump of kindling.

You could have had so much fun with that investigation, because for a people like the Qunari nation, the whole situation could've been set up as a win-win. They win the alliance, see what the Inquisition is made of, and secure their errant Southern spy's loyalty, or they figure out that the Inquisition is not reliable as an ally, is a threat to the Qunari ambitions (because it won't even sacrifice 10 mercs for a major alliance), and Iron Bull is outed as, if not a traitor, then at least a burned and useless asset. There really wasn't a situation there where the Qunari would lose, and it would've been wildly satisfying to try and figure out both before and after the loyalty quest that the Qunari tried to play you, and you can finally say it with satisfaction: 'and screw you and your 🛥 ⛴, we ain't regretting nuthin, we know what you're about.' Because on the surface, qunari and inquisition goals align at that point, and an alliance against Tevinter, where much of the ongoing threat originates, is very useful for the inquisition, especially since it means that out of two potential enemies, one enemy can at least be brought over to your side temporarily and be sicced on the other enemy.

But naw. It all boiled down to 'oop, can't have my mercenaries do what they were hired to do lol, because that'd be sad. Not like they didn't know what they were getting into when they became, idk, mercenaries?

[prettypinkporkchop]

The pack (please include Leah) x reader who's really good friends with the cullens

You can bet your boots I'm adding leah! I never not! She's my favorite wolf. I'm so les for her deadass. But this is a very good idear! Let's get going shawty.

Sam would not let you go there alone.

"I trust Carlisle, not his family."

He's not too angry about it, just nervous. You still get to see them. Sam doesn't cut you off from your friends.

Paul would absolutely hate it. It genuinely makes him angry. He wants to keep you to himself, but he loves you way too much to do that to you. He hides how deep his anger is, but he does tell you he hates it. In the beginning, there were petty fights.

"Alice invited me to their house party."

"I'm going." "Stay beside me."

Your hand never leaves his. Although you do get to see them, it's not often. It's a lot of compromising, but you guys have been through this so much that there's no more fighting.

Jared HAS to go with you, or else he will have a panic attack. While he's there, he's fake nice. He throws shade at them that only you understand, and you have to casually slap his hand underneath the table or behind your back. He thinks it's so funny that you are friends with them. He says, "it doesn't make sense how a perfect woman could be friends with dead people."

There's no arguing just him groaning and complaining when you have plans with them.

"Again?! We just had a date with Renesmee and Bella."

Bro HATES Jasper and Edward. He doesn't mind the others. He really likes Emmett.

"Embry! Esme called. We are going there for game night." You called out. Embry stomps into the room and crosses his arms. "Is Emmett going to be there?" You nod and he agrees to go.

When you guys are around them, he has to avoid looking at Jasper and Edward, or he will get annoyed. You are never allowed to be alone with Jasper. Edward, yes, but he just thinks he's annoying. He's scared Jasper will eat you.

"Helllll naw!!!!" That's his response when you told him how close you are with them.

"You can't go to their house. And if you go out, I have to be there. Period. Don't fight me on this, love. You won't win."

He stays to himself when you are with them. He answers questions but never starts a conversation. He's respectful to them but doesn't like them. Edward smiles at his thoughts, which pisses Quil off, but he stays silent just to please you.

Leah-loo!!!! My girl.

At first, it was hard. She was very unhappy. She didn't let you go around them at all. When you voiced your opinion and how you felt trapped, she gave in but went with you.

She was not nice to them at all. It made you mad. "Leah, they are letting us in their home. Be nice." You hiss at her.

It took a while, but after Renesmee and shit, she was okay with it all.

Seth trusts the Cullens. He didn't like you being away from him and out of his territory, but he let you be there. ESPECIALLY if Jake and Nessie were there, that's when he was the most comfortable. He'd get a lot of shit from the Uley pack. They'd make fun of him and tell him he's not a good imprint or protector.

He's felt guilty a lot because of it, but you remind him of how amazing he is.

Most of the time, he goes with you because he enjoys the company. But girls' time or when he's patrolling, he doesn't go. But he doesn't mind if you do.

[bananaactivity]

Kickin It X Lab rats???

Naw jk kinda…

Billy Unger was in Kickin it for realies as a Character called Brody. Technically he was a good guy by the end but I changed that so that he and Kai are literally besties. Like imagine how Jerry and Jack are. That’s what these two are like…. But evil

LMAOO I could’ve done this with Carlos and Jay, I probably will.

Kai is like way shorter then everyone else which is funny because he’s the most violent and the leader. He’s like an angry wet cat.

Here’s the info on the two

Kai

Kyle “Kai” Andrew Brewer:

18 yrs old Born: Oct 31

Leader of the White Inferno (Second degree Black Belt)

Wassabi Parallel: Jackson “Jack” Garfield Brewer

Catchphrases: “ You're gonna regret that…” “Weak Shit.” “Im leading a pack of dipshits.” “ Ill scramble your fucking insides” “ Oh this isnt fruit juice on my clothes ,trust me.” “ I'm the best of the best, If anyone says anything to the contrary I'll kill them”

An absolutely stacked martial artist who spent lots of his time training not just for revenge but for the love of it. He is a spicy guy who has fun while being a downright dangerous man. He can get along with anyone but would rather give them heart attacks with a mere glance. He rollerblades and plays bass guitar. He's strong and agile with a domineering presence and is down right bloodthirsty (He craves confrontation and validation, nothing makes him smile like beating people to bloody pulps LMAO) He's also an asshole, don't get it twisted he's a massive dick head. Literally look at him he is a JERK.

Dragon Relationships:

Carson: His second in command who he generally trusts and his sparring partner

Brody: Someone he knows is the actual second best but also knows that competition keeps him sturdy and likes him much more than Carson. That’s his literal bestie

Frank: An idiot who tests Kai daily and of whom he's had to man handle many times, still at least a good fighter

Arthur: An absolute quack at martial arts whose spot on the team is paid. He's funny though.

Wasabi Relationships:

Jack: Kais cousin of whom he considers a weak, traitor who he's NOT even with. He will absolutely crush him like a bug if given a chance.

Kim: A girl whom Carson is obsessed with.

Jerry: A dancing buffoon

Milton: A nerd who once hit him with a crab leg. That was unforgivable and Kai is plotting his murder.

Eddy: Someone almost as talentless as Arther

Brody

Brody Edvin Carlson:

18 yrs old Born: Aug 19

3rd Rank of the White Inferno (1st Degree Black Belt/ close to second degree)

Wassabi Parallel: Jeremiah “Jerry” Tomas Martineiz

Catchphrases: “I'M THE BEST! ME. ME. ME.” “Not my problem brochacho” “I WIN. YOU LOSE. I'M THE BEST. DEAL WITH IT.”

A tough disciplined Martial Artist who respects authority immensely. He has a high skill level mixed with natural talent and quick learning that makes him a force to be reckoned with. He holds back on Carson; in respect to how Kai placed the ranks. (He's obsessed with Kai fr tho, kinda a D rider tbh) He can act crazy and have fun but seriousness is typically required to maintain respect especially in front of the WW so that they feel inferior.

Dragon Relationships:

Kai: Literally Carson is obsessed with the man as he wants to be that revered and respected for his raw power and skill.

Carson: Someone Brody will do anything to one up and desperately wants his spot as second.

Frank: His sparring partner who he sees potential in

Arthur: A rich guy

Wasabi Relationships:

Jack: Enemy number 1 but still respects his talents.

Kim: Enemy number 2, no feelings were at play for what he did to her

Jerry: Enemy number 3, a goofball with no sense of respect or discipline

Milton:Enemy number 4, a nerd but focused

Eddy: Enemy number 5, someone not to be overlooked but no match for Brody

BESTIESSSS YASSSSSS

[nerdasstheatrekid]

YAP SESH ABOUT VAT7K🔥🔥

Chat how we feel about the idea of vat7k taking place in season 2 of tts? Since varian was gone for the most of the season and everything, AND AND I LOVE the idea of the radical team being there when Cassandra attacked.

Like think about it, before nothing left to lose Hugo would follow varian to the moonstone tower thing and witness the whole sequence happen and when varian gets trapped in the blackrocks cage Hugo was near him enough to get trapped in there WITH him so when eugene comes up the tower to save them, he just sees this blonde twink varian mentioned a few weeks ago. AND AS EUGENE WENT UP TO SAVE VARIAN Nuru and Yong FOLLOWED THEM TO HELP HUGH AND VAR cuz yk they wanna help. (And Eugene’d be like oh hell naw y’all are children you think raps is gonna NOT GIVE HIM A SCOLDING IF HE GETS THE KIDS INVOLVED?? and also we’d get this awesome scene where they all try to fight cass and fail miserably like a champ)

AND I LIKE AFTER THAT WHEN ITS HAPPILY EVER AFTER Hugo’d help varian design and build the hot water generator in corona, and they officially gain the title of the royal engineers of corona. AND AND they’d work part time at the library too just because

Yong I imagined would either stay in corona or go back to the fire kingdom, but since we don’t know much about him, we don’t know if he has anyone or anything to go back to, SO I PROPOSE A HEADCANON!!! YONG GETS ADOPTED BY XAVIER!!!! And he’d help out at the local bakery of corona, or he would host firework shows during big events, the guy can do anything

Nuru would go back to Amber and convince her and or her family too, to come live in the air kingdom!! As they have a lot of potential of helping with the asteroids, and probably closer to corona so they could all visit varian, Hugo, and Yong it’s a win win!! Nuru would finally make her mother proud (mommy issues Blehh) and she’d have the next queen introduced to her mother.

As for donella and cyrus they are the main keepers of the library, since Hugo and varian are pretty busy in corona they’d offer to go there and just keep it safe. Since yk the yearning lesbian saw her decade year old soul of her crush PERISH IN FRONT OF HER IN THE LIBRARY…she’d want something to remind her of ulla. And cyrus, I headcanon him as dons bio son so he’d just stay there with his mama taking care of her, and ALSO I think cyrus would be the tough guy with a soft personality so he’d maybe adopt some cats and read various books in the library and he’d also do gardening in his past time. (Male wife material ik) Hugo and varian would also visit them a lot.

[nuhackearney]

Fic: At A Loss

For @romanthereigns and anyone else feeling a little blue over LA's loss tonight. I said I wouldn't go here, but here we are...(aka, LA Knight x Reader)

You get people drinks, you pick up towels, you watch over equipment...yeah, you're pretty much a go-fer, but you adore your job! You get to travel, meet interesting people and you work for one of the most entertaining businesses in the world - the WWE!

Sure, the superstars don't know your name and you're not famous or anything, but you're an important cog in a big machine and you know your worth.

...you also know you have a helpless, stupid, unbelievably bad crush on LA Knight.

...yeah.

You're into him.

Too bad that, just like everyone else in the biz, he'll never notice you. Hell, he doesn't even know you exist.

Or so you think.

You're on hand for Crown Jewel. The energy is high, the activity chaotic. You've never dashed around so much in your life! Water bottle for Sami Zayn here, a boom for a member of camera crew there, and so on and so on.

You manage to catch snippets of different matches, but as a whole it's hard to keep up. Right until the very end. The end where the Bloodline yet again interferes and yet again help Roman score the win.

...which means LA lost.

It's a sobering realization. You were really rooting for him - even aside from your ridiculous one sided crush - you were hoping for someone to finally dethrone the Tribal Chief.

But, yet again, disappointed.

Poor LA, you think, but you know better. He's a big strong guy, he'll bounce back, no skin off his nose. He's the Megastar, everyone says his name and everyone knows it's his game. He'll be fine.

Again, or so you think.

Until, very very late into the evening, as you go to clean up one of the messy break rooms and you come across him. It makes your breath bottle in your throat, the sight of him sitting on one of the cafeteria tables, his head in his hands.

He's fully dressed now - brown leather jacket, 'Yeah' shirt, jeans, and boots. A totally different look from what he wore to the ring tonight. He must hear you come in, because he lifts his head to turn and look at you.

You clear your throat and offer a weak wave, even as you manage a near toneless, "I'll, ah-? Come back later..."

The plan is to stealthily back out, but he sits up straight and gestures to you, "Naw, naw - come on over, y/n."

His voice is loud, but more somber than you've heard it before and he? He said your name? You carefully ease further into the room and walk towards him, your fingers sort of nervously playing with one another as you get closer, "Um? You know my name?"

"Sure. I've seen you at lots of shows. They call your name all the time for shit. Ice packs, sandwiches, hairspray - there anything they don't have you fetch?"

You shake your head because he's not wrong. Again, you know your role. Maybe that's what he needs? Your go-fer skills? And you're about to ask if you can get him something when he asks quietly, "Think you can get me a second shot?"

This makes you seize up, "What do you mean?"

He lets out a huff, "Guess you didn't see me lose out there."

You don't know what to say.

He does, "Oh yeah, a big ol' 'L'. Granted, Roman's boys stuck in their noses again - Solo making a stink at the front, Jimmy in the back, but the end results just the same."

You've never seen him so serious before, so-? Well, melancholy is the first word that comes to mind, and the thought twists your heart into knots. You want to reassure him. Say something cool or clever, but your tongue is numb as he runs one hand over his five o'clock grizzled chin, "I dunno. Maybe I've been fooling myself. Fooling everybody."

"That's not true!" You blurt it out so quickly you almost don't realize you're the one who said it. But then his blue eyes swing to you and it's like a laser slicing you in half, that intense focus of his.

You clear your throat and feel your cheeks heat even as you keep your eyes averted when you talk, "You're-? You're the real deal. I know it. I feel it."

You know he's still looking at you and you feel a little sick and your heart is beating double time but you press on, "Yes, you didn't take the gold this time, but everyone is still behind you. Everybody is still saying your name, chanting for you - you're a superstar, you're a champion!"

"Yeah?" And he asks his normally rowdy catchphrase in a wry, teasing way that only makes the heat in your cheeks worse and god, this is torture. Does he know you have a crush on him?!? Is he possibly teasing you to death?

Being on the business end of one of his BFT's would be kinder...

"Yeah." You cough into one hand so that you can try and subtly rub away some of the heat from your skin, "So, y'know - you'll win. Get the gold you deserve. It's only a matter of time."

"Matter of time, huh?"

You nod and finally risk looking at him. He looks deep in thought and it's almost as if you can read his mind, "I-? I know you have been waiting for a long time already. But... it's going to happen. I promise."

There's a beat of silence between you and then, out of nowhere, he throws back his head and laughs. It's a happy sound and attractive laugh lines appear under his eyes as he reaches out a hand to you and ruffles your hair.

Such a simple and silly action shouldn't be so stimulating, yet here you are, practically melting under it as he rubs warmly and gently at your scalp, "You know what, y/n? You're right. It IS going to happen. YEAH."

The last is said loudly and with his classic jovial tone as he withdraws his hand and he stands up to get down to your level, albeit he still towers over you, "Not only 'cause you promised me, but because I promised myself! I just needed the reminder!"

"Oh!" You offer weakly, breathlessly, "Uh, good! Glad I could help!"

Your next plan is to turn and scurry away because you're sure that's what he wants, because that's what everyone wants after you've helped, but he freezes you with a, "Now wait a minute, you ain't leaving, are ya?"

Your eyes go wide with confusion even as he offers you the kind of saucy grin you've only seen from afar, "'Cause I could still use your help."

"Y-you could?"

"Sure." He eyes you up and down, "I need somebody to go out and eat with me tonight. Need somebody to test my kavorka on. Make sure it's still working."

It is, trust me! Almost pops out of your mouth immediately, but this time you manage to hold the words back, instead giving him a demur, "Alright."

"There we go." He throws one arm around your shoulders and gives you a little squeeze, "Hey, stick with me, kid and I promise you, you'll get what you deserve!"

While you're positive that he thinks you deserve a better job or pay or something along those lines, you honestly hope that you get what you want more than what you deserve.

Hell, you're actually getting what you want right now.

A night out with LA Knight?

YEAH.

[random-thot-generator]

Promises, Promises

Johnny ‘Soap’ Mac Tavish x Fem Reader

Summary: Soap has been trying to move your relationship out of the friend zone for months, and finally gets his chance when an innocent game of pool and a friendly wager lead to progressively dirtier tactics to make the other lose. Let’s just say Soap is “in it to win it” and makes a bold and filthy claim that he’s more than eager to prove to you.

Aaaand... then smut happens.  Yeah, I know. Big surprise, right?

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, explicit sexual descriptions (bc that’s how I roll), thigh riding, oral- fem receiving, improper use of a pool table, Soap has a filthy mouth- for multiple reasons, no Y/N, 

(N/A: This thot hit me Friday night and it’s been rotting my brain ever since, so I’m purging this smut. I was going to share it for Super Soap Sunday, but then my internet died, so you’re getting a MacTavish Monday special event. So, gather ‘round the pool table, my good hoes, and let’s get into this.) 

Word Count: 4489

 🎱

“Ah, c’mon, hen. Give it up. Ya know yer gaggin’ t’go out with me. Admit it. Yer mad fer me, ain’t ya?”

You rolled your eyes at the handsome sergeant sitting in front of you at the bar, a rueful little smile quirking up your lips. He didn’t even realize how right he was. You were mad for him, and that was the sad truth of it. Head over heels for him, in fact, but you would never admit it to the cocky Scottish bastard. His pretty head was big enough as it was, already.

You had decided a while ago that it was best to just stay friends with Johnny MacTavish. He liked to keep his sexual relationships casual, and you couldn’t do that with him. You already cared about him too much, and you didn’t want to go through the pain of losing him when another woman eventually caught his eye. It sucked not being able to have him the way you wanted him, but it was better than not having him at all.

“Oh, come on, Johnny. I doubt you could even find the time to take me on a date, considering how crazy your schedule is,” you pointed out, trying to deflect his advances. “Besides, weren’t you dating that redhead? What’s-her-name? You’ve not mentioned her in a while. Things not work out?”

Soap made a frustrated face, waving a dismissive hand. “Tha’ happened months ago, Ya know good an’ damn well it was jus’ a quick feck in the lavvy every once in awhile t’relieve some stress.”

You tried your best to ignore the ugly pang of jealousy that curled in your chest. “Relieve some stress, huh? And what’s got you so stressed? Your job?”

“’M stressed ‘cause ya won’t go out with me,” was his quick retort, giving you an impish grin. His blue eyes sparkled in the low light, and you felt your heart give a pitiful little flutter.

Shaking your head, you tossed your towel on the bar and huffed in exasperation. “What’s it going to take to get you off this? Besides, going on a date with you?”

His face fell into a pouting frown. “Don’t see why ya won’t do it. It’d be a proper date, none o’ that ‘Netflix an’ chill’ shite.” Then his frown morphed into a dirty little smirk. “We can do tha’ after the date,” he added, waggling his eyebrows.

You couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’re an idiot.”

“Aye, but I’m yer eejit.”

You wished.

Exhaling a weary sigh of resignation, you turned to check the clock on the wall. Finally. Closing time. “Last orders!” you shouted out to the pub at large. You glanced back at Johnny and pointed at his empty pint glass. “Do you want another?”

“Naw. ’M good.” He leaned his arms on the bar and smiled at you..

After the last of the customers had shuffled out, you locked the door behind them and started sweeping. Johnny jumped off his seat and began turning up the chairs and stools for you, then went to fetch the mop bucket from the supply closet. He had gotten into the habit of hanging out with you after hours and driving you home after you locked up for the night. On nights like this, he usually ended up passed out on your couch if he didn’t have to be back at base, his snores drowning out the telly. You didn’t know whether to be glad or disappointed that he had never tried to follow you to your bedroom. 

Working together, you had the pub cleaned and the bar restocked in less than an hour. Ready to call it a night and go home, you went to turn off the lights when you spied a couple of cue sticks left out on the pool table, a few pool balls scattered about its felt top. Figuring what the hell, you picked up one of the cue sticks. Johnny grinned as he watched you line up a shot, knocking the two ball into a corner pocket with a satisfying crack.

“Didn’t know you could play, hen.”

You gave him a lopsided smile and shrugged as you took aim at the seven ball next. “My uncle taught me how.” You sank the seven in a side pocket.

“If I’d known tha’, I would’ve ‘challenged ya to a game. I’m pretty good myself, ya know. I bet I could take you.”

You quirked a brow at him. “Oh, yeah? Willing to place a friendly wager on it?”

He crossed his arms across his chest and smirked. “What d’ya have in mind?”

“If I win, I get to choose where we order takeaway, and you have to pay for it. If you win. I’ll pay your tab tomorrow night.”

“Alright. I’ll rack, you break. Deal?”

“Deal.”

The match was fairly even, Johnny just barely beating you by knocking in the eight ball first. You took the loss in stride, ready to put your cue stick away, when he stopped you. “Let’s go double or nothin’.”

You glanced at him over your shoulder, cue stick held aloft to be slotted back in the wall rack. “What d’you mean? I have to pay for takeaway twice if I lose again?”

“Nooo,” he drawled, a mischievous glint in his eye. “I’m changin’ the stakes. If I win, ya have t’go on that date with me.”

“Really? And if I win?”

He grinned. “Then I’ll let you take me out on a date.”

You scoffed, snickering at him. “Unh-unh. No, if I win, you have to stop pestering me for a date.”

He sniffed, frowning. “If tha’s what ya want,” he grumbled, pouting.

You dropped your chin, shooting him a dubious look. “I thought you were sure you could take me. What have you got to worry about?”

He sneered at you, unable to ignore the challenge. “Alright, hen. Just be prepared to pay up when ya lose, again, aye?”

This time you racked, and he broke. Two solids dropped in their pockets, and his grin went wide. “Best decide now what yer goin’ t’wear for our date, hen.” He gave you a cocky wink before lining up his next shot.

Left to his own devices, you knew he would end up running the table, and you couldn’t let that happen. Sidling up next to him, face simpering, you murmured in a high, sweet voice, “Who said I was planning on wearing anything, Johnny?”

His shot went wide and glanced off the cue ball, making him swear under his breath. He turned to glare at you. “Tha’ was a dirty trick.”

You giggled at him. “Oh no! You missed your shot. That’s too bad,” you crooned in mock sympathy, poking out your bottom lip.

“So, tha’s how it’s goin’ t’be, then?” He gave you a slow nod. “Alright then, hen. We’ll do this yer way. Jus’ remember, it was you tha’ started it.”

You grunted, not in the least bit intimidated. Let him talk all he wanted. You could ignore him if you had to. You walked around the table, choosing your next shot, then bent over to line it up. Just as you went to tap the cue ball, Johnny leaned over and breathed hot on the side of your neck. “Mm. Ya look good bent over like tha’, sweetheart,” he hummed low and filthy in your ear.

Goosebumps erupted all over your skin as you flinched away, your shot just barely tapping the ball you were aiming at. You gave him a baleful look. The bastard knew his voice always got to you. “That was a cheap shot.”

His grin was smarmy as hell as he patted you on the head. “No. That was a missed shot.” He bumped you out of the way. “Now, if yeh’ll excuse me, I got a game t’win.”

Ooh! That cheeky little shit. You’d be damned if you were going to let him get away with that. When he bent over to take his next shot, you ran your cue stick up between his legs and giggled when he startled, missing his shot. He spun around to pin you with a warning look as his lips pressed into a grim smile. He cupped your cheek, dragging his thumb over your bottom lip. “Keep it up, hen. See what ya get,” he told you, his voice gone sinfully low and husky.

You swallowed, feeling your belly swoop in arousal. Keeping a wary eye on him, you circled the table away from him and chose your next shot, being mindful of where he was standing. He remained on the opposite side, hands braced on the table’s edge, a salacious smile on his face. As you lined up to take your shot, he hummed, a dirty, rumbling purr that skittered up your backbone and made your lower belly grow warm. Your core pulsed in sympathy.

“Got t’say, love, ya got some gorgeous feckin’ chebs,” he commented, and you lifted your eyes to see he was peering straight down your shirt. “How ‘bout givin’ us a taste, hm?” he drawled, a wicked smirk tugging up the corners of his lips.

You shook your head, scowling. Just ignore him, you reminded yourself, but it was really hard to do that when you could feel your nipples tightening into hard little peaks. You growled under your breath and took your shot.

Johnny grimaced when you made it, scoffing, “Got lucky,” he mumbled.

Feeling like you had the upper hand, you strutted around the table until you were standing beside him again, then bumped him out the way. “Are we still talkin’ about this game or, uh... your game?” you asked, with a nasty little smirk.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “An’ what’s tha’ s’posed t’mean?”

You took another shot, sank another ball, then straightened to give him a sly smirk. “You talk a good game, Johnny, but you’re never gone for more than five or ten minutes when you sneak off with one of your little birds. The way I see it, if they managed to get off at all, it would have to be pure luck.”

His mouth fell open in shock, and an airy little giggle bubbled up out of your throat at his expression. You turned your back on him to line up your next shot, feeling all full of yourself and confident, but then gasped when you felt his hands take hold of your hips and tug you back against him.

His mouth was right at your ear when he rasped out, “So you’re timin’ me, are ya, hen? Are ya jealous? Hmm? Don’t you worry tha’ pretty head o’ yers, sweetheart. I promise, I’ll take good care of you. I’ll have ya screamin’ my name in five minutes. Give me ten, an’ I’ll have ya cummin’ 'round my cock.”

You literally shuddered at his words, a trembling breath stuttering out between your parted lips as lust coursed through you, hot and heady. Holy shit, were you actually shaking right now? Get your head back in the game, you silently admonished yourself. Averting your eyes, you sniffed in derision, “Please. You think you could get me off in five minutes?” you scoffed and shook your head, but there was little force behind your words with you voice gone all quavering and breathless.

He pressed himself closer, a low, filthy chuckle rumbling in his chest. “I’d get ya off in three, hen,” he murmured, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear.

Heat pulsed through your core and you felt your panties grow damp. Shit! You bit your bottom lip and did your best to maintain your composure. “Hah! Th-Three minutes? I call b-bullshit,” you stammered out.

His hands gripped your hips tighter and he pulled you right up against his crotch, letting you feel just how much this little back-and-forth was affecting him. He gave a slow rut of his hips, rubbing the bulge in his jeans on the swell of your ass. “I wouldn’t even have to use this on ya,” he taunted, rutting against you again. “Jus’ me mouth.” His tongue traced the curve of your ear.

A strangled little whimper caught in the back of your throat, your knuckles going white as you gripped the edge of the pool table. “F-Fuck, Johnny...”

His lips were skimming down your neck, his breath coming out in soft, hot pants against your skin. “Let me show ya what I can do fer ya, sweetheart. Let me be good to ya, make ya feel good, aye?”

He hadn’t even really touched you yet, but you could already feel your arousal seeping out of your clenching channel to pool in your panties. “W-We shouldn’t...” you breathed out, trying to argue, but then his hands slid around your waist, one hand trailing down until he was cupping your clothed pussy in his big hand. A low, guttural moan clawed its way out of your throat. Your knees gave a little wobble.

You were in trouble.

Of its own volition, your head tilted to the side to give him better access, and he groaned into your neck before he began trailing hot, wet kisses up to your ear. He caught the lobe between his teeth before pulling it between his lips to suckle at it. The hand cupping your pussy squeezed, and another filthy moan escaped your lips.

“Y feel s’good, love. S’feckin’ hot,” he whispered, and your heart gave a hard thud in your chest. When his hand came up to clutch at your breast through your shirt, you whimpered. He gave a frustrated growl and turned you in his arms, crowding you back against the pool table as his arms wrapped around your back, hands gripping and pulling at you. “Feck, let me kiss ya, hen. Please?” he asked, voice desperate and plaintive.

You peered up at him, enthralled by the darkened blue of his eyes, the expanded void of his pupils. The way he looked at you had your hands shooting up to grasp the sides of his head, pulling him down to crash his lips to yours. This time, he whimpered, melting into you for a brief moment, but he soon recovered and took charge of the kiss.

No one had ever kissed you like that before. There was hunger in his kiss, an aggression that spoke of pent-up lust and insatiable need. The fierceness of it had you gasping against his mouth, and Johhny, never one to miss an opportunity, delved between your parted lips, tangling his tongue with yours as he groaned into your mouth.

He had slotted his knee between your thighs while he kissed you, and he lifted it, now, notching it firmly against your aching sex. You whined at the contact, hips bucking on instinct to gain more friction for your swollen clit.

“Feck, tha’s it, love. Ride it,” he encouraged you. One hand supporting your back, he used the other to help guide your hips, hissing out curses as he dragged your aching pussy back and forth along his flexed thigh. “God, I bet yer feckin’ soaked, aren’t ya, sweetheart?”

You could only whine and drop your head to his shoulder as he slowly pushed and pulled you to the very edge of orgasm. “J-Johnny... I―”

“Jus’ let go fer me, love. Let it happen,” he crooned at your ear, pressing a kiss against your temple. “Jus’ like that. Tha’s it. Feckin’ hell, yer so beautiful like this. Cum fer me, sweetheart. C’mon. Let me have it.”

A wavering cry fell from your lips as your orgasm swept over you like tidal wave. Sparks danced behind your eyelids, and your body went slack in his arms as your knees clamped around his thigh.

“Tha’s good, sweetheart. Ride it out. Did so good fer me,” he murmured, grasping the nape of your neck as he helped grind you against him, not stopping until your legs gave out and released the vice grip on his thigh. 

His voice and hands were both trembling as he caught you by the thighs and lifted you up to set you on the pool table, whispering praises in your ear. You could do little more than lean into him, pressing sloppy kisses at his throat as you pawed at his chest. “Oh, my god...” you breathed into his skin, panting.

His hands were rubbing circles over your back, giving you time to come down from your high. “I want ta make ya feel good, sweetheart, show ya what I can do fer ya. Will ya let me, love?”

You nodded like a dashboard bobble head, as you gasped out, “Yes! Please, Johnny.”

That’s all he needed to hear. Leaning past you, he swept his arm across the pool table, scattering the remaining pool balls in all different directions, before laying you back on the crimson felt. His hands went to the waist of your leggings, fingers curling into the material, giving them a quick tug. A sexy little smile appeared on his face when you eagerly lifted your hips to accommodate him. He pulled them down your legs, taking your underwear with them, giving a sharp inhale when his eyes finally landed on your slick lower lips.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he breathed, rushing to yank the shoes from your feet before stripping off your leggings and panties, and then tossed them aside. “Would ya look at tha’,” he whispered, brushing his thick knuckles down your wet slit. “Yer s’soft, love,” he murmured, bringing his hand up to his mouth to drag his tongue over the bony ridge. A grating moan was exhaled. “Mmm, ya taste so good, too.”

Your whimper came on the heels of the slick you could feel seeping out of your quivering folds, running along the seam of your pussy to drip onto the edge of the table. You were staring up at the ceiling in a daze, not caring what he did, so long as he touched you down there. “Johnny, wh-what are you―”

“Shh, love. Jus’ lay back an’ let me take care of ya. Tha’s a good girl.”

His hands were gliding up and down your sides, pausing briefly to massage your breasts. “Sweet Jaysus, cannae wait to see these,” he mumbled, brushing his thumbs over the nipples. He gave them a teasing little pinch, huffing out a breathy laugh when you whimpered and squirmed. “Sensitive little thing, ain’t ya, sweetheart?”

You threw an arm over your eyes, embarrassed. “C-Can’t help it. Don’t laugh.”

“No no, love,” he cooed, pulling your arm away. He leaned over you to stare into your eyes. “Not laughin’ at ya, love. I jus’ can’t believe I finally have ya like this.”

 He pressed his lips to yours, sighing into the kiss. You could feel his cock flexing inside his jeans, straining to get out. He pressed himself against your weeping core, slowly grinding against you until you were whimpering again. “Can’t wait t’be inside ya, love, but there’s somethin’ I got t’do first.”

His body slid down yours, lips grazing over your sternum, kissing each breast, pushing your shirt further up to plant soft kisses over your belly and hips. He licked a wet stripe above your mound, catching your hips in his hands when you rolled them up into his face. “Bless me, the way ya move, hen. Drives me feckin’ mad.”

His pressed his nose into your sex and inhaled, moaning into it before you felt the first touch of his tongue. He had dipped the tip of it into your wet folds, flicking it over your clit, before drawing back as you jolted in his grip. You looked down your body, worried that you had done something wrong or did something he didn’t like, but when he lifted his eyes to meet yours, all you saw was the wolfish grin on his face and the devilish gleam in his eye. He fiddled with the watch on his wrist, removing it and noting the time, before pressing it into your hand.

“Keep an eye on it, hen,” he husked above your folds. “Remember. Three minutes.”

Your brows shot up, mouth gaping open. “Wha― Haaah! Fu-Fuck!”

Johnny didn’t waste any time, plunging his tongue into your wet heat. His hands were like vice grips on your bucking, squirming hips as he devoured you, making the most lewd, wet, sloppy sounds as he devoured you. He slurped at your juices, sucked at your clit, slithered his tongue up into your clenching channel, all while you mewled and cried and flailed, helpless against the onslaught. You could feel the orgasm building, rocketing towards that blissful peak, and you panted out his name again and again, your hands clutching at his head, not sure if you wanted to push him away or pull him in closer, it was so overwhelming.

He was lapping at you, snaking his tongue from your entrance up to your clit, swirling it around the taut little nub. When he sealed his lips around it and began flickering his tongue over it, you gasped, then a warbling cry flew past your lips when he drew it between his teeth and sucked, so hard. The cry turned to an escalating wail as your back came off the table, but his hands held you down, and he moaned into your pussy, the vibration sending you right over the edge.

Your climax hit you like a Mac truck, barreling out of your core in a rush of hot slick. You could hear Johnny, still buried between your legs, moaning and growling as he gorged himself, refusing to let a single drop escape his greedy mouth. Tremors shook through your frame, your legs flopping to either side of him, unable to control your shaking muscles. You were a virtual rag doll, helpless against his lewd ministrations as he drew your orgasm out to the very last quivering spasm.

You laid there, spent and shaking, heaving for breath, mind spiraling in a tailspin. You were barely aware of his hand coming up and taking his watch from your limp fingers, wondering at his grunt of satisfaction. At some point, he stood, and you could feel his hands on you again, petting you with soothing, languid strokes.

“Look at me, love,” he coaxed, cupping your cheek in his palm. “C’mon, sweetheart. Come back t’yer Johnny, now.”

You blinked your eyes open to see him hovering over you. The entire lower half of his face was smeared with your slick, lips swollen and shiny, a gleaming bright red hue. His mohawk was a wild, spiky mess, his flushed cheeks bunched up, blue eyes crinkled at the corners by the huge smile stretched across his face. “There’s my girl,” he whispered, before capturing your lips in a slow, sensual kiss.

You could taste your cum on his lips, on his tongue, and so help you, if you didn’t feel that heady swoop of arousal in your gut again. You were ruined. He had completely and utterly ruined you for anyone else, and he knew it.

He lifted his watch up in front of you, brows raised. “Two minutes, forrty-seven seconds,” he informed you, grinning. You huffed out an exasperated breath and rolled your eyes shut. “Ah-ah,” he murmured in a tender but teasing tone. “No hidin’ from me, now, love. C’mon. Open those pretty eyes fer me.”

You dragged open your heavy lids, peering up at him with hooded, glassy eyes. “What?” you rasped out, your voice gone husky from― God help you― screaming his name. Just like he said you would.

His face softened. “Are ya alright, lovie?” he asked, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “It wasn’t too much, was it?”

Your hand came up to cradle his jaw, your thumb brushing over his swollen bottom lip. “I’m okay. Think I’m just still a little out of it. No one’s... Nobody has ever made me feel that way before, Johnny,”

If Johnny thought he had fallen for you before, he was dead certain of it now. Your confession sent him soaring into orbit, even as it melted his heart. “Yer never gettin’ rid o’ me now, hen. Yeh’ll have t’beat me off with a stick, an’ even then, I’d still come crawlin’ back t’ya.”

Your brow creased. “Don’t tease me like that, Johnny.”

He gave you a wry smile. “Not teasin’ ya, sweetheart. I mean it. I finally ― Jaysus, I finally got ya, an’ I ain’t lettin’ ya go.” He dipped his head down to catch your eyes. “I hope ya feel the same.”

You stared at him, eyes searching his face, looking for that smirk to appear, for him to say he was just messing with you, but all you saw was sincerity and affection reflected in his eyes. It felt like a weight lifted off your chest. “I do. Always have.”

His smile could have lit up the whole of London. “Aye?”

You smiled back at him and nodded. “Aye.”

He darted his head down to kiss you again, his hands starting to roam again with purpose. Your arms came to twine around his neck as his hands grasped your thighs and tugged you forward.

You broke the kiss, startled, and looked up at him. “What are you doing?”

He reached over and grabbed his watch, wrapping your fingers around it. “Did ya ferget what I told ya, lovie? Remember? I said I’d have ya screamin’ me name in five minutes, an’ have ya cummin’ on me cock in ten.” Your eyes went wide as he reached down and undid his belt and jeans, pushing them down til his cock sprang out. It smacked against his lower abdomen, and you gulped as you took in its length and girth. Apparently, they grew ‘em big in Scotland. Holy shit.

“Now, love,” he murmured, grasping your thighs and wrapping them around his waist. “I’d advise ya to hang on, ‘cause I’m about to make good on the rest o’ that promise.”

And let it never be said that Johnny MacTavish was nothing if not a man of his word. Needless to say, you didn’t make it into work the following evening, not the way you were walking.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Okay, so Rosie makes a point to be welcoming to the Replacements and a mentor in general. You know what that means.

Crushes.

Crushes everywhere.

Pappy and the rest of the crew spend a not-inconsiderable amount of time taking the starry-eyed replacement by the arm and going, "You've met Lemmons, right? You should meet Lemmons."

"Why?"

"Best mechanic in the whole damn air army. And Rosie's fella."

And even the most bravado-filled "Oh, I'm sure I can overcome a little thing like that" replacement comes back realizing they are batting WAY out of their league. That brain with that face and those freckles and that hair and those hands?

Nope. No way. Tag out.

And then, of course, they actually see Rosie and Ken interact, and it's just, "Oh, yeah, I had zero chance."

But every now and again there's a real cocky fucker. Usually from money. Who sees Lemmons and goes, "Okay, fine, he's a pretty face and a good mechanic, but Rosie's a LAWYER. I have a college degree. I have money. I can win this."

Pappy and the boys don't even bother with those. They just sit back and watch as those cocky fuckers do the same thing every single time: decide they can psych out Ken fucking Lemmons.

Who absolutely knows they're trying to psych him out, but he has several things they don't: Big blue eyes, a hick accent, and a very sharp awareness of when people think he's dumb. He's quickly got it down to an art.

"Oh, Rosie didn't mention you when we talked."

"Well, sure, he don't talk much when he's getting to know someone. But don't you worry, he'll open up."

"So, where did you go to college?"

"College? Oh, geez, no. Not me. Farm boy through and through. Didn't even graduate high school. Lucky I like machines so much. Honestly, I've got a couple ideas for how to improve planes in general when I get back. Robert's already written to a couple patent lawyers he knows. Real sweet of him, really. I've barely done more than sketched a few ideas."

"It must be a lot, keeping up with someone so wordly. From New York."

"Oh, no, I like it a lot! I didn't grow up in the city like Robert did, but I've been to a lot of 'em now, and they're really something! I'd love to be in a city and work on a bunch of busses or trains or something."

"You don't call him Rosie?"

"Naw, that's for you fellas. I'm happy with Robert." (that one is the closest he gets to giving away the game because none of the cocky fuckers can keep a straight face at Ken saying THEY'RE the one on the outside because they say Rosie.)

Meanwhile, Rosie laughs until he cries each and every time it happens. He never even clocks the cocky fuckers, and Ken's retelling of the events is always excellent.

[imminent-danger-came]

do you find mk's arc in s3 a tad repetitive? i saw this point brought up in a video essay on his series long arc

Naw man.

Progress isn't linear. MK more often than not makes progress in an area and then promptly regresses afterwards (like in ROTSQ MK learned that he was separate from SWK, and that he had to find "his own way to win", which he then completely abandons in the back half of s2. After Minor Scale it's all about becoming as powerful as Monkey King as quick as he can). I like to joke MK is "2 steps forward 4 steps back" the character. He'll say "We're stronger together" in 2x10, but by the time 4x08 rolls around he's wondering if he'll just end up hurting the people he cares about (and then he'll fail to apply this logic to why Wukong would choose to take similar actions, say during s2 or at the end of s3, being delightfully hypocritical).

Then there's where MK actually is development wise at the end of s2 vs s3. By the end of s2 he's lost all of his abilities and given LBD everything she needs to destroy the world, with the only good thing happening being Monkey King's return. Of course he's worried about facing the Lady Bone Demon like he is in s2—in fact, the threat got much worse. Not only is LBD more powerful, but both him and Monkey King are powerless. Their only hope is in an uncontrollable weapon they have to reforge.

In s1 MK is just trying to master his new role as the Monkey Kid (even then wanting to protect his friends and the city, thank you 1x01). In ROTSQ he believes he'll never be as good as Wukong, carrying this belief into s2. As the stakes keep growing, MK feels more and more pressure to live up to the legacy of Monkey King, and in that desperation becomes the perfect pawn in LBD's plans. He assumes he was the wrong choice, the wrong successor, and that Wukong knows that too. After he realizes Wukong left for him in s2, in s3 he then jumps to Wukong ditching him over being a "mere mortal" again. But, MK wants to help. He wants to save his friends. By the end of s3, we've still yet to acknowledge the core issue MK's had since the AHIB special: his self-confidence. His identity and his esteem. MK's never been happy with himself (except for that one time in ROTSQ):

But, after ROTSQ came Wukong leaving in 2x01, LBD's manipulation in 2x05, Macaque's manipulation in 2x07, his ultimate failure in 2x10, being powerless in 3x01, Wukong's lies throughout s3, Wukong and Mei both leaving at the end of 3x10, and then the "to pain scene" in 3x14.

And then in s4 we hammer the nail in the coffin further with 4x07 and 4x08 living up to LBD's words: doing what you think is right leads to pain.

I think the end of TEW will be another ROTSQ situation, where currently MK is okay leaving the world a little bit better than he found it, but it's a philosophy on a shaky foundation. All it'll take is one push to all come crumbling down (and we have SO many things at this point that could be that push—MK's origins/true identity, SWK and Macaque's true falling out, another world ending calamity [no 'ol half marathons here]). Because, at the end of the day, MK may leave the world better than he found it, but he still needs to be okay making mistakes and being MK. He needs to be okay with hurting the people he cares about, because that's what happens as a part of life. He's still so hung up on keeping everything the same. He wants a world where both him and his friends never have to struggle, which will just never happen.

Like, it's ridiculous to me how high of a note the s4 special ended on for everyone in the gang. It's like being on the final episode of a season and seeing that everything's resolved and great, but knowing there's 20 minutes left before the end. You just know it's all going to come crashing down. It's going to get worse before it gets better.

And you know what! I'll say this: being mentally ill is repetitive. And that's what MK is. He has anxiety. He has depression. I mean this seriously and sincerely. MK's running around in circles in his own mind trying to run away from himself (doing so quite literally in 4x07). But he can't man. None of us can.