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mcdonaldsnumberone · 2 years ago

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VIEW!

the kind of contestants they’d be on shitty romance reality tv

gender neutral reader

ISAGI YOICHI!

the shy boy everyone ends up rooting for!

It’s hard to not fall in love with Isagi! Sure, he’s not the one that immediately takes the crowd by storm at his first appearance, and it might take him a little bit before people can actually tell him apart from the show’s other contestants. But Isagi proves himself to be a genuine, hard-working boy, and his bright smile and innocent eyes cements him as the “sweet boy next door” archetype. His love is quiet, strong, and fulfilling—even if he gets terribly embarrassed and flushes a bright red every time the show’s hosts tease him about how he has a little crush on you!

DATES: Casual dates! He loves taking you out for coffee or snacks. He’s less occupied with what the two of you are doing than he is at getting to know you better. While he might look like nothing short of the perfect gentleman, his heart is threatening to beat out of his ribcage the entire time. Maybe if he’s feeling courageous, Isagi will take your hand in his hand when your fingertips brush against his.

BACHIRA MEGURU!

life of the party!

Not afraid to ever speak his mind, Bachira knows how to make an impression on the audience. He’s bright, bubbly, and fun! He’s exactly the kind of contestant that everyone’s dying to partner up with, and once he finds someone he likes, he refuses to let anybody else tempt him. Bachira loves showering you with affection, regardless of whether or not there are cameras on him. He can get pretty handsy too, so he’s sure to keep an arm slung around your waist or pull you onto his lap whenever he gets the opportunity. Still, much like his name, his attraction towards you is as sweet as honey!

DATES: Bachira usually doesn’t have a preference as long as you’re with him. But he loves getting a little active, be it a casual game of beach volleyball or even chasing you around the show’s dorms. If you get him to open up enough, he’ll gladly take you out on a date to his mom’s art gallery, where you can share a heartfelt moment with him. If you want to try your hand at painting, he’ll eagerly join you too!

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE!

knight-in-shining-armor!

Kunigami takes everyone’s breath away at his first appearance, thanks to his absolutely sculpted body and smoldering eyes, but he’s quick to break down his seemingly aloof character due to how noble he is. He’s always treating you to nice things, making sure you’re doing alright, and speaking up for you whenever any of the other contestants try to start unprompted fights. He’s a refreshing change to all the petty catfights and squabbles that usually entail shitty reality TV, and him taking care of you is his way of proving to both you and everyone watching that his heart belongs to you and you only.

DATES: Nothing can beat a good spa day with Kunigami! He’ll wow you with all the cosmetic skills he’s picked up from his sister, and it’s hard to not feel flattered when he wraps an arm around your torso and pulls you in for a secret cuddle while the two of you unwind. He probably gets a little shy when you yank your robe down to reveal skin, mumbling under his breath about how he wishes the cameras weren’t there so he can have you all to himself.

CHIGIRI HYOMA!

one of the girls!

Chigiri can take a bit of time to warm up to. Blunt, moody, but horribly irresistible, he’s the pretty boy contestant that everyone ends up coveting. But once he knows that you’re genuinely interested in him, he’ll reward your perseverance by opening up bit-by-bit. He has such an ambitious but polite personality that time flies by like nothing around him, and other couples are practically seething at how the two of you magically attract the spotlight wherever you go. He’s sure to become a contestant that’ll influence social media and the show’s seasons to follow through the sheer power of his ice cold beauty.

DATES: Chigiri really hates having people all up in his personal business despite being on a reality TV show, so he prefers dates where he can slip away with you. Late night walks are the perfect way for him to unwind with you at his side, and the wind is a perfect excuse to get you to touch his hair. He loves aimlessly wandering around talking about whatever he wants with you, and he’s sure to send you off with a goodnight kiss.

SEISHIRO NAGI!

teddy bear!

It’s honestly a mystery as to how someone as unmotivated as Nagi ended up as a contestant, but once you get past his listless moods, he’s adorable boyfriend material. He might not be the best dressed or the most energetic, but there’s something so awfully intimate about the way he constantly has you scooped up in his arms or how he gets all grumpy when another contestant takes an interest in you. He’s also bound to make jaws DROP when the inevitable shirtless episode happens, and everyone finds out that he’s packing a body of straight muscle underneath all of his sweaters and baggy pants.

DATES: Nagi wants to stay in 100% of the time. His idea of a good time is curling up in his bed with a movie or a game on and not giving a shit about what everyone else is doing. If you’re feeling peckish, you can usually get him to cave into going outside for a bit by tickling. Although be careful—getting all handsy under the covers goes both ways, and the cameras are eager to pick up on any lovin’ happening!

ITOSHI RIN!

hey, emo boy! hey, hey, hey, emo boy!

Rin makes waves as an almost antagonistic contestant throughout the show. He’s not here to play nice, and if people have an issue with his personality, then they’re clearly not meant to be his partner. He only wants someone that’s worthy of his attention, and when you win his heart over, Rin is nothing but an absolutely lovestruck puppy. It gives the audience a little whiplash to see him snarling at someone and then get all sappy with you at the drop of a hat, but it only adds to his moe-like charm. Being so young, he’s awfully new to love, so it doesn’t take much to make him an endearing love interest once his walls come down.

DATES: He’s fine with anything as long as you drag him around. Window shopping downtown and chowing down on any snacks that catch your fancy is all he really wants. He’ll pay for anything that catches your eye and carry all your bags. He swears he’s having a good time, even though he’s walking around with his lips pressed into the thin line the entire date. And you know he is, given how he trails after you like you’re his lifeline.

YUKIMIYA KENYU!

prince charming!

Yukimiya is the picture perfect man. Not only is he attentive, attractive, and alluring, he’s also mild-mannered but still firm. He’ll open doors for you and shower you with compliments, and his attention to detail easily earns him a place as the audience’s favorite. Yukimiya does have a bit of a competitive streak though, which means it’s a bad idea for any of the other contestants to take him lightly. He’s not afraid to throw his weight around if it means impressing you, and he’ll take down his rivals with that beaming model smile on his face. He’s romantic and an all-around good guy, even if his jealous streak does lead to some steamy behind-the-scenes moments.

DATES: If the weather allows it, Yukimiya would love to take you ice skating! Nothing screams romantic to him more than skating with you hand-in-hand. It’s alright if you’re a complete beginner; he’ll firmly plant his hands around your hips and teach you the techniques. If you prefer to hang off of his arm and sneak kisses to warm up his cold cheeks, he’s down for that too. It also goes without saying that a generous cup of hot chocolate is guaranteed to follow, with him poking fun at your whipped cream mustache after your first sip.

KURONA RANZE!

dream come true!

Kurona’s striking appearance does him some favors in the beginning, but his strong points are his loyalty. He’s someone who stays true to his decisions, which includes his choice in a partner, and his fierce loyalty could turn anyone green with envy. Definitely the kind of contestant that everyone drools over through the duration of the show, and his 100% boyfriend material personality ensures that he wiggles his way into your heart without any difficulties. No worries though, because he’s had his eye on you since day one!

DATES: Kurona’s always wanted to take you out on a picnic date, where he can escape the spotlight and really get to spend some quality time with you. He’ll wake up early to make sandwiches and all of your favorite snacks, and he gets a little shy when you compliment him so highly for his efforts. Really, he’s willing to do whatever it takes if it means you’ll be happy, so you can expect for him to go all out on you again.

SENDOU SHUTO!

no bitches?

Sendou is a lot to take in. He’s very eager to find someone, to say the least, and his pathetic nature does hold its charms. But if you want your personal cheerleader who has eyes for no one but you, Sendou’s the contestant for you! His jaw drops every time you have a costume change, and he gets all awfully pouty if he thinks you haven’t been giving him the attention he’s due. He’ll also try to flirt with you often, even if it’s only his effort that’s being appreciated by the audience, only to become completely gobsmacked when you turn around and flirt right back at him. He’s completely wrapped around your finger, and the crowd never fails to gobble it up!

DATES: Sendou’s never dated anyone before, so any first date-esque date is perfect for him! He likes amusement parks because he always talks bravely but ends up needing to hold your hand for every scary roller coaster he comes across. But you’ll make it up to him by sharing some treats with him, and once he gets in the groove, Sendou will even win you a cute stuffed animal from one of the rigged carnival games! Just… don’t ask how many tries it actually took him.

OLIVER AIKU!

nice guys finish last!

Oh, it would be so easy to lie and say that someone like Aiku isn’t worth your time, but there’s more to him than meets the eye. He’s definitely a flirt and a playboy, soaking up the attention that everyone douses him in, but as much as you hate him, you have to admit that he’s irritatingly handsome. But past all the flirting and sultry gazes is someone who wants to find a true partner, and if you give him a chance, Aiku knows better than to squander it. Besides, he’s a team player and dependable when things really boil down, and his inclination towards whoredom is just a little added spice to your relationship!

DATES: Aiku always insists on a beach date (totally not because he wants to see you in a skimpy swimsuit or anything…), but he’s also totally chill with a homey ramen shop date too! He’ll goad you into trying some of his spicy ramen, and he’ll buy you ice cream afterwards because he feels bad for pressuring you. There’s no better end to the date than a few hours at karaoke and a late night drive back, where there’s bound to be some making out before he drops you off.

MICHAEL KAISER!

king queen bee!

Kaiser is hot stuff, and he knows it. He’s easily the most irritating contestant in the history of contestants, yet… you can’t help but be attracted to his horrible swagger and stunning looks. Kaiser’s bound to tease the hell out of you once he knows you like him, but he really isn’t one to talk. His crush on you is as obvious as daylight, and he spends the entirety of the show doing the most to impress you. Whether it’s lounging around shirtless or somehow always catching you alone, it’s like the two of you were meant to be. Well, duh, Kaiser won’t accept anyone but the best as his lover, and he’s determined to have you!

DATES: An expensive dinner at a nice restaurant where he can pamper the living hell out of you with that wallet of his followed by a few drinks at a fancy bar is his bread and butter. He also buys you your outfit, and he knows the producers of the show will let him because, c’mon, who doesn’t love a little bit of money spending? Kaiser loves it when you play hard to get, and winning you over with pricey gifts is only the start of his courtship.

#blue lock #bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #isagi yoichi #bachira meguru #kunigami rensuke #chigiri hyoma #seishiro nagi #itoshi rin #yukimiya kenyu #kurona ranze #sendou shuto #oliver aiku #michael kaiser #x reader #my writing #guess whos been watching a lot of shitty tv . me bitch

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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The thing that feels disingenuous about Miles answer about Ironwood is that he was part of the writing staff that framed the general as a cool character to start with. I do think that the signs about Ironwood's evil were clear since V2 and in V7 he was an outright dictator from episode 1. Nonetheless, he was still consistently framed as a cool character, someone you can trust and rely. You don't get to blame the fans for liking a genocide if you was the one framed him as cool in the first place.

I actually don’t think being cool is the problem. If we’re satirizing and/or making a statement about the toxic masculinity that leads to something like a dictatorship, then being “cool” is a crucial part of that. People don’t leverage the power they have by looking lame, they do so by appearing desirable, enviable, awesome. Being in the military is supposedly “cool.” Being a white guy with a giant gun is supposedly “cool.” Having power over an entire nation is supposedly “cool,” etc. If you only make such characters look revolting — even when they are — then you miss one of the main recruitment tools for this kind of rhetoric. Any version of Ironwood that’s meant to make a point about the dangers of following someone like him needs to make him look “cool” and then deconstruct that, pointing out the ways in which this cool veneer is a lie meant to pull you in. To do otherwise is to claim that evil people are always easy to spot. Making your villains “uncool” implies that the people who do appear cool in real life must be fine then. That good looking, charismatic leader is great. Why would I look critically at his actions? He’s too cool to be evil.

My personal problem is not that “They made the dictator look cool and we can’t possibly expect the audience to tell the difference between someone who is truly good and someone who is just using various Cool Points to skate by” because that would be the point of such a character — the work the show needs to do. My problem is that RWBY didn’t do that work. At least, not to the extent they needed to. Rather than making Ironwood a truly heinous character (prior to Volume 7 ‘s shooting, I mean) and allowing the audience to learn how appearing cool can’t hide that, they just made him good person. Straight up. Flawed, absolutely, but no worse than any of the other character on screen, particularly post Volume 6 when our heroes are frequently putting people in danger, seizing power, telling lies, keeping secrets, and generally acting in the ways we’re supposedly meant to condemn Ironwood for. Since talk of Miles’ vid last night I’ve seen three separate “Ironwood was always bad, idk how people can miss the signs” posts and those people are half right. There 100% were signs we were meant to pick up on. The problem is RWBY then went and deconstructed those signs. Ironwood didn’t just bring an army to a peace festival, he brought an army to an event he had good reason to believe wasn’t peaceful — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t wrest control from Ozpin (using a series of checks and balances that exist for this very purpose...) because he has an obsession with being in control, he did so because he honestly believed Ozpin was putting people in danger — and he was right. Ironwood didn’t step up post-Fall because he arrogantly believes he’s the only one capable of saving Remnant, he did so because he’s actually the most qualified: a fully trained huntsmen leading an Academy (like Ozpin) with an army and knowledge of this secret war. What, was Ironwood supposed to read the script and wait for the group of dropout teenagers to arrive and save the world instead? To say nothing of how his power and responsibility are framed as sacrifices, not something he sought out. Ironwood doesn’t want to be the sole ruler here. His desperate relief at having allies again proves it. Good setup for the rise of a dictator would have been Ironwood being cagey with his information and exerting control over the group... not telling them everything, not giving them more power, not letting them keep the Lamp, not taking arrest off the table so as to keep them in line, and generally doing the opposite of everything he did do to share that responsibility and power. RWBY got very good at giving us the first half of these red flags — he has an army, he’s stubborn, he’s hurting Mantle, etc. — but then time and time again introduced a context that changed that flag dramatically: they are fighting literal monsters, he’s no more stubborn than our title character, hurting Mantle is a consequence of a plan he thinks will help the whole world and our heroes back this. Those who insist that Ironwood was 100% a villain in the making (or a villain already) prior to shooting Oscar are working from their assumption of what his archetype represents, not what RT actually put on screen. Because RT is just really bad at writing a dictator character. They didn’t have the skill to manage someone who only appeared good on the surface, let alone a character with the complex nuance of wielding “coolness” to their advantage, which is why in Volume 8 they had to resort to cartoon villainy with literal, evil spotlights. It’s not that the audience is too dumb to pick up on those red flags, it’s that RT couldn’t manage to plant them without continually introducing valid justifications. You can’t say, “Bringing an army is a bad thing. Look at this dictator coding!” without me going, “Yeah, except in the fictional world you created an army does not represent the problems it does in our real life societies. This isn’t a guy amassing soldiers to go after oil, he’s trying to protect people from monsters. Not even metaphoric monsters acting as stand-ins for a minority group. Literal, evil monsters!” RWBY ignores its own context and a good chunk of the fandom ignored it too.

The problem with that (besides the general frustration of someone ignoring parts of canon to forward a particular reading) is that the fandom’s go-to claim is that everything is meaningful — and it’s a reading the writers very much support. Fans do not, as the above attests, push for a simple reading of, “Don’t think too hard about it. Just take the surface reading and run with it” which, while still frustrating, would have at least been a valid stance. Rather, they insist very strongly that nuance and depth are what drive the show. From the song lyrics to a tiny detail in the opening, everything is important and if you don’t accept that then you can’t appreciate RWBY’s complexity.

“Okay,” I said. “Then in that case Ironwood coming around to Ozpin’s position is meaningful too? Glynda — one of our best and most faultless characters — supporting him is meaningful? Flipping his gun, defending Weiss, Qrow writing to him, the group working with him for months on end... all of it is meaningful to his characterization? You said so yourself.”

“No, no, no,” comes the reply. “He’s just bad. But he’s also nuanced. He’s tricked you into thinking he’s a good person by acting kind sometimes, by getting support sometimes, but none of that is true. His actions are what matter and his actions are simplistically bad.”

“Ohhhh. So then does that mean this story is really about the creation of a villain?”

“Huh?”

“Well, Ruby. She’s ‘nuanced’ in the same way. She acts kind sometimes and gets support, but her actions are terrible. She endangered an entire city because she couldn’t wait to see if Ironwood got his letter. She condemned Ozpin for keeping secrets about Salem and then kept those same secrets just two days later. When the kingdom was under attack she sat around drinking tea, crying on a staircase, just hoping someone would come fix things for her — all while actively sabotaging the one person who was trying to save people, even if that action seems silly to us (let’s fly really high). So if we’re looking at the impact of someone’s actions outside of their intent, as we just did with Ironwood, then she’s a bad guy too, yeah?”

“No! She’s the hero!”

“... these characters don’t know she’s the hero from a meta perspective. If we’re supposed to judge the meaning of RWBY based on these details — ”

“But it’s not just the details. It’s also the allusions. Everyone in RWBY is based on another person or character. It’s very complex and that inspiration drives their story, so if you don’t have that information it’s no surprise you’re confused. For example, this is why Penny had to get a human body. That’s what happened to Pinocchio!”

“Oh! So then Ironwood is destined to be a good guy!”

“What?”

“Well, you just said the allusions drive their stories, right? The whole point of the Tin Man is that he always had a heart and just needed to realize that. So clearly — “

“No! He’s supposed to be a classic dictator, he’s only bad!”

And ‘round and ‘round we go. RWBY’s writing is atrocious yet the fandom pushes this narrative that it’s all a complex, multi-layered story that requires taking every part into account to understand the “real” message... but when you try to do that with certain characters like Ozpin and Ironwood it’s, “No, actually, they’re just simple archetypes of Bad Men.” Nuance exists for the bees, but not other ships. It exists for the characters fans like, but not the ones they don’t. And RWBY’s inspirations have to predict the ending for this character... but not that other character. It’s a nonsense grab bag!

Fans are right that Ironwood had a lot of red flags to set up this downfall. Fans are also right that those red flags were severely undercut, thus reversing their impact. Fans are right that Ironwood becomes a 100% bad guy who kills because he can and threatens to bomb a city. Fans are also right that this characterization feels absurd for Ironwood, both in terms of his morality and his intelligence (how does bombing Mantle help you now??) Ironwood is badly written. He was badly written in 7 and 8, if he was always meant to be a dictator in the making then he was badly written in 2-6, and he’s conclusively badly written when it comes to lacking a backstory and a canonical semblance — two things are are supposedly driving all of this characterization. That’s the answer: not that he’s good, or bad, but that RWBY can’t write a consistent character, let alone a nuanced one, so it’s no surprise the fandom can’t decide on anything. What’s there to decide on? It’s that nonsense grab bag. In a different show I think making the dictator appear cool would be a crucial bit of commentary, but RWBY doesn’t have the skill to pull that off.

#rwby #rwde #mymetas #Anonymous

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c-c-cherry · 4 years ago

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Jojos Doing Jojo Things (with each other)✨😌

*sweating as the part 5 hc asks start piling up in my inbox*

*looks at the one that mentions Jonathan*

Hello~~ I’m sorry for being criminally inactive here, I forgot during that long 6 month lockdown that I actually had a real life outside of the internet and now I have to go do real life things?? Instead of doing nothing but writing?? Crimes, I tell you.

I love the idea of Jonathan interacting with all the other jojos so I thought I’d take a little break from part 5 whump headcanons to fulfill this one :D SO HERE’S SOME SELF-INDULGENT HEADCANONS ABOUT JONATHAN DOING FUN LITTLE ACTIVITIES WITH THE OTHER JOJOS BECAUSE I KNOW WE ALL NEED IT RIGHT NOW😭😭😭

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

Joseph (lets say Youngseph in this case because shhh)

-Hear me out but KNITTING

-Let this man do some nice calm things please

-Joseph has absolutely no way to connect with Jonathan. Like. Nothing.

-He doesn’t see the two of them as anything alike even though they both have the star, and when it comes to connecting with such a righteous, nice dude he’s a bit :/ about it

-He also doesn’t want to do anything stupid (In his words.) He hates baking, he’s never been into reading and school, and the two can never really click with sports

-Our man Jonathan has searched his heart and soul for something to bring the two of them together but Joseph is always just not into it >:(

-He’s almost given up on connecting at all BUT—

-One thing they do have in common? Erina.

-BOOM. Johnny-boy suddenly has ideas >:)

-Joseph is really put off when Jonathan shows up with a ball of yarn and needles and in the most innocent way possible he’s like “I have something to show you ^-^”

-the first thing Joseph thinks is NO FUCKING WAY. If Caesar or his mother or anyone caught him fucking knitting he’d never be able to live it down

-So instead he just watches as Jonathan sits by the fire, and it looks really boring at first but he just starts going at it

-And of course the gears start turning and all his brain sees is “fast task?? task I can be good at? something quick my hands can do??”

-And Jonathan looks up to take a break to see Joseph perched on the edge of the chair in complete awe, but the moment he asks if he wants to know how to do it, Joseph gets really withdrawn :/

The rest of their conversation goes a little like this:

“Isn’t that meant for girls?”

“Why would hats and scarves be only for girls?”

“But its—”

“You know...I’m making Erina a matching hat and scarf for her birthday. I could use a little help with the scarf…”

“...”

“We can make it a race.”

And with a fire lighting in his eyes, Joseph accepts the contest even though he has no idea what he’s doing. But isn’t that what he does best?

-Needless to say, he becomes obsessed.

-When his greatest fear comes true and Caesar finds out, he’s too obsessed to care about the teasing

-Joseph is good at something that Caesar isn’t. Caesar is jealous. Caesar picks up knitting.

-Are knitting contests even a thing?? I don’t care because Joseph and Caesar could probably open a fucking etsy shop with all the stuff they make (and absolutely shamelessly at that)

-Anytime they meet someone new it's immediately “which hat is better?” “Joseph’s is worse, right?” “Can you start the stopwatch for us?”

-Even in his older years, he never actually stopped making things for Holy, Suzi, and even sometimes Jotaro (thought Joot wouldn’t be caught dead wearing any of it in public)

-He actually progresses past knitting and making clothes in general becomes a secret passion of his

-The hat he’s wearing in part 4? He definitely made that. And don’t even think he doesn’t send Josuke the tackiest shit in the mail

Jonathan is very proud :)

Jotaro

-Animals. Is that even a question?

-Jonathan was always more of a dog or cat person, but the moment he finds out that Jotaro’s interested in marine life? MAN GOES ALL OUT

-He not only researches the shit out of marine biology just so he can hold up a conversation with him, but he also buys A SHIT TON OF BOOKS for his favourite angst man

-We all know that Jotaro isn’t exactly a man of words, but his heart is touched when they exchange a few sentences and Jonathan shows up the next day with a book all about what they were talking about🥺

-Like—Jonathan was always scolded for never listening to his father, but when it comes to stuff like this, Jotaro swears he’s able to read his mind

-Most people can barely get him to utter a sentence, but when these two are alone they’ll talk for hours about the ocean

-Holy was actually pretty worried for a while that Jotaro rarely ever opened up to anyone, but after seeing the two of them talk it was like a weight lifted off her shoulders :)

-They go on trips all the time to study water life. First, it's just to the river a few minutes away. Then they start going out to the lake nearby, and then they’re suddenly borrowing Joseph’s private boat and going on all these “research trips” together

-Which just consist of Jotaro taking hundreds of pictures and surprisingly never shutting up about what he sees (which is definitely a first)

-They pass by snooty, rich fishermen all the time who make fun of them for only looking at the animals, and Jonathan secretly uses Hamon to attract the fish to anywhere but where the fishers are lol

-I can blame snipster on instagram for introducing me to Smiletaro but the pure happiness and smiles of happy Joot on this boat with Jonathan is like a DRUG

-Star Platinum is absolutely thrilled, and when Jonathan realizes that Star is an amazing artist, he actually buys the stand a cute little purple notebook to draw all the ocean life they come across :3

-The moment they get back to shore Jotaro’s all -_- again around people, but you can still see the excitement in his eyes if you look hard enough

-When he gets into school for marine biology, Jonathan is so fucking proud

-This is an au which means anything can happen so I formally declare that Jonathan definitely got Jotaro those golden dolphin-shaped coat pins when the man first goes off to Uni

-He wears them as a good luck charm :3

Josuke

-Josuke is soooo easy to get along with, especially since both of them are such warm people :)

-Jonathan figures that it wouldn’t be hard to find something fun to do together, but when he actually thinks about it...he really knows nothing about what Josuke likes to do

-He ends up just asking the kid next time they see each other, and they end up just agreeing to teach each other one thing the other doesn’t know

-Because the power of KNOWLEDGE BABYYY

-Josuke shows up the next day with an entire fucking Nintendo 64 and is absolutely set on teaching him how to play something

-Erina just kinda watches like 👁👄👁 as Josuke plugs it in and Jonathan is confused but also SUPER EXCITED because he barely even knows what a video is but there are also video games??

-After much internal debate, Josuke decides on Ocarina of Time because he’s worried Jonathan will have a fucking heart attack if they play something like Mario Kart

-Also he thinks Jojo would enjoy the whole “righteous hero coming of age” archetype thing because,,,you know,,,

-They start it up and immediately Jonathan is like WHAT and has no idea how to play and dies in ways that Josuke didn’t even know were possible, but they somehow make it to the first temple with a lot of help from Josuke

-Right before the boss fight, his mom pulls up like “bitch we gotta go come on” so Josuke sees no harm in leaving the system at Jonathan’s and coming back next week

-Oho,,,ohohooo,,,

-He comes back a week later to a dark house,,,Erina’s off on some trip, and he can hear the faintest “HYAH!” coming from the living room

-He walks in to find Jonathan in the exact same spot he left him, ALL OTHER SAVE FILES ARE COMPLETE, and he’s in some obscure location doing a side quest Josuke didn’t even know existed

-Turns out he’s really good at quest games

-After Josuke realizes that Jonathan’s managed to beat the game more than once, he asks if he wants to try out another game

-To which Jonathan replies: “There’s MORE?”

-Aside from giving Jonathan a crippling video game addiction, Josuke also learns a vital thing about Jonathan Joestar

-Hamon ^-^

-Josuke’s a little surprised that Jonathan can even see his stand, and Jonathan has no other way to explain it than that it must be connected to his Hamon somehow

-To which Josuke is like “what” and Jonathan realizes that his stupid fucking grandson decided not to tell ANY OTHER Joestar about Hamon

-He’s no Zeppeli, but he could try and teach him...even if it didn’t work, it would still be a nice bonding activity

-When Jonathan finds out that Josuke’s stand ability is revolved around healing, he’s overjoyed because he might have a better chance

-They start small with breathing exercises and meditation, which eventually lead to Jonathan trying to teach Josuke how to make things like flowers

-Since it doesn’t exactly come naturally to Josuke, things don’t exactly work out,,,but both are unsurprisingly happy when Josuke manages to make a single flower bloom :3

-It’s not much, but it’s there and it honestly makes Josuke feel much better knowing that he could eventually learn how to heal himself, too :)

Giorno

-Jonathan considered teaching Giorno Hamon a while ago, but he realized that his stand already has the properties of Hamon, if not just in a more humanoid form

-And when Jojo puts two and two together that he and his son can both grow a lot of plant life, he has the perfect idea

-Garden buddies!!!! :D

-They grow everything you could possibly think of, and to top it all off, Giorno fills the garden with all this animal life :)

-When it comes to biology, Giorno never shuts up about it. He’s the quietest kid when it comes to virtually anything else but prepare for MAJOR info dumps about frogs and his vast knowledge of flowers

-Speaking of flowers, them just sitting and growing them together and talking about all of their favourites? Yes please

-Although they love to accelerate plant growth, there’s one patch in the middle of the garden that they’re determined to grow naturally

-Also them growing and eating carambola (star fruit) together because it’s my pocket dimension that makes no sense and I get to decide what fun fruits the Joestars get to eat together

-the garden becomes a great place for picnics and outings and the best place to go when things get too chaotic

-Giorno starts a plant journal where he records everything that ends up growing there, and Jonathan starts impulse buying all these flower guide books so they can look at pictures of them and put their favourites in the garden :3

-They end up creating a little pond in the middle of everything, and Giorno puts a whole bunch of frogs and fish in it and it's all very tranquil and calm and nice :))

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

I was gonna do part 6 (maybe part 7 too?) but mental energy? I don’t know her, sorry y’all :(

Feel free to add on though!! I wanna see what y’all would think Jonathan would wanna do with Jolyne or anyone else I missed :D My first thought for Jolyne was Rugby because Jonathan was a rugby KING and I feel like she’d be really good at it lmao

#jjba #jjba headcanons #jonathan joestar #joseph joestar #jotaro kujo #josuke higashikata #giorno giovanna #jojos's bizarre adventure #ask-c-c-cherry #headcanons #anime #erina joestar #family feels #long post

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tigerkirby215 · 3 years ago

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5e Sivir, the Battle Mistress build (League of Legends)

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

Okay I know this is completely off topic but what the hell is Sivir's pose in her base splash art? Like oh my god doesn't that hurt your back? Jesus I know proportions are hard but wow this pose is terrible lmao.

Also it has come to my attention that I unintentionally made all the Legends of Runeterra Shuriman champions. Well I mean, Rammus isn't in LoR yet. Man we do really need more Shuriman champs.

Sorry I really don't have much of a blurb beyond that. Honestly only making Sivir for "randomly Shurima month." Like who actually plays Sivir anymore.

GOALS

Better duck! - We need to be able to throw everything at incoming danger and cut it down to size.

Here's where I get my cut - When faced with a hoard it doesn't hurt to be able to shoot everyone at once!

Nice try - Of course getting hit yourself would suck, so we're going to need ways to avoid incoming damage.

RACE

You have ascendant blood in you, which gives you just a touch of godly power. To connect to the gods look to the Aasimar. As an Aasimar you’d normally increase your Charisma by 2 but we’re instead going to invoke Tasha’s for a +2 to Dexterity. But your other abilities don’t change such as your Darkvision which I only mention because Light Bearer gives you the Light cantrip to help your friends with their dumb human eyes. You also get Celestial Resistance for a Spell Shield and Healing Hands for some potions in a pinch.

Fallen Aasimar require high Charisma and Scourge Aasimar hurt themselves as they fight, so we’ll be going for Protector Aasimar. We’re still going to get a +1 to Intelligence instead of Wisdom with Tasha’s rules, and we’ll cover more of what your subrace does for you at level 3.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - Intelligence is tied to Investigation which makes it the tomb raiding skill. (I’d probably put Dexterity higher to be honest but I dislike uneven Ability Scores.)

14; DEXTERITY - You’re an ADC and even if you’re throwing stuff (which we won’t be in this build) Dexterity is still tied to most ranged combat abilities.

13; CONSTITUTION - While you may be squishy on the Rift we simply don’t need any other abilities for this build.

12; WISDOM - Wisdom is tied to Perception which is also useful when trying to avoid traps.

10; CHARISMA - You’re rather rough around the edges. Maybe if you were more Charismatic your fellow tomb raiders wouldn’t have double-crossed you.

8; STRENGTH - Even though you’re throwing weapons (which again: we won’t be for this build) you are very nimble and Fleet of Foot. Put simply we don’t need Strength at all for this build.

BACKGROUND

There’s no “Tomb Raider” background so we’ll fall back on Sivir’s job as a Mercenary Veteran. You get proficiency in Athletics and Persuasion as well as Land Vehicles and a gaming set of your choice (pick your poison.)

When you live the Mercenary Life you can easily identify other mercenaries by their emblems and logos. (RIP Clubs.) You know bits and pieces about their work, and can go seek them out for hints on the next ancient tomb to break into. And if all else fails you can fall back on mercenary work to maintain a comfortable lifestyle.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue because skills to raid tombs are always helpful. Skills like Acrobatics, Perception, Investigation, and... well we may as well grab Stealth as a Rogue. You also get Expertise in two skills: Investigation is the skill to find hidden loot, and Stealth is still pretty important as a Rogue.

When you live the mercenary life you know to speak in Thieves’ Cant so no wanabee treasure hunters try for your mark. Thieves’ Cant is a secret code with regular words that mean something else.

But let’s be real: what we’re really here for is Sneak Attack. When you have advantage on an attack (such as by attacking from stealth) or if your ADC is near the target you can do an additional d6 of damage.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues are Fleet of Foot, and can use Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Attack-Moving as an ADC is very important!

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype, and you have the blood of a long-dead civilization in your veins. You revived your phantom of a great great great great (x20 more “great”s) grandfather, so Phantom Rogue will work well. Whispers of the Dead will let you choose a skill or tool to gain proficiency in after a Short or Long Rest, so you can adapt your tools to the situation at hand.

But more importantly you get Wails from the Grave. When you hit an enemy you can have your shot Ricochet to an enemy within 30 feet to deal necrotic damage equal to half the number of Sneak Attack dice for your level (round up.) You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

Speaking of which your Sneak Attack die increases to 2d6. And speaking of more damage as a Protector Aasimar you get Radiant Soul. Once per long rest you can activate your Ascendant blood for 1 minute or until you end it as a bonus action. During this time you have a flying speed and deal extra Radiant damage equal to your level. Look just because we don’t see Sivir fly in-game doesn’t mean she can’t.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

4th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement: Dexterity controls most of what you do currently. Increase it by 2 for more damage, better skill checks, and better AC.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - FIGHTER 1

ADCs are meant to fight, and Fighters are good at that! You get a Fighting Style to boost your right clicks and a “Marksman” needs Archery, even if they’re technically throwing weapons. (By the way by this point I’d recommend using a Longbow, for multiple reasons other than “it’s better than a Shortbow / Light Crossbow.”)

You can also pop the Heal Summoner Spell for a Second Wind, healing yourself for a d10 plus your Fighter level as a Bonus Action.

LEVEL 6 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters are On the Hunt (by themselves), and can Action Surge to take an additional action! For now this just means one more attack, but your damage output will really increase at higher levels!

LEVEL 7 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype, and while it’s perhaps not the most accurate or the strongest Arcane Archer is the only way to get some of Sivir’s abilities. But firstly you get Arcane Archer Lore for the Arcana skill (or Nature but Arcana is better), as well as the Prestidigitation cantrip (or Druidcraft but Prestidigitation is better.)

But your main feature is of course the Arcane Shot. Once per turn you can use one of your Arcane Shot options. You decide to use it when the arrow hits a creature, unless the option doesn’t involve an attack roll. Piercing Arrow will serve as your “Boomerang” Blade, firing a projectile in a 30 foot line that deals damage to everyone it passes through. This ability will go through cover so you can shoot past walls too!

There aren’t really many other options that fit Sivir, but Bursting Arrow will make your shot “Ricochet” on enemies within 5 feet of your initial target. And will do more damage, obviously.

You have two Arcane Shots per Short or Long Rest, but I’d really recommend discussing the subclass with your DM. Arcane Archer is known for being weak but it becomes a lot stronger if you make the Arcane Shots scale with either Intelligence modifier or your Proficiency Bonus. I don’t normally recommend homebrew changes but Arcane Archer is honestly a fun subclass hampered by how limited your Arcane Shot options are. I really recommend discussing buffs to the class if you wish to play one.

LEVEL 8 - FIGHTER 4

4th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement and while tricks are useful shooting good is still your main goal. Increase your Dexterity by 2 for the deadliest shots possible.

(Artwork by Horace "Hozure" Hsu and Alex "alexplank" Flores. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get their Beserker's Greaves, granting them enough attack speed for an Extra Attack to make two attacks in a turn! "Business is good."

LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 6

Fighters get Ability Score Improvements instead of Class Features, but that's cool because it means we can get feats! Your Constitution has been sitting at 13 for awhile now, and while I'd normally try to grab a more fun feat Resilient will increase your Constitution by 1 and also make it easier to resist spells, which is like a spell shield!

LEVEL 11- FIGHTER 7

7th level Fighters get their Mythic! Kraken Slayer will give you Magic Arrows that do... exactly what they say on the tin! Magic damage for the sake of overcoming resistance or immunity to nonmagical damage.

Additionally if you miss you can use your Bonus Action to Ricochet your shot to another enemy. Curving Shot will let you redirect a missed hit towards a different enemy within 60 feet.

You also learn another Arcane Shot option: Enfeebling Arrow is like exhaust on an arrow. The target takes an additional 2d6 Necrotic damage and has to make a Constitution saving throw. If they fail the damage of their attacks is reduced by half until the start of your next turn.

LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 8

More Feats are fun! While I could take Resilient in every stat or perhaps Mage Slayer I think Lucky works better to simulate Sivir's spell shield. If you make a roll on a d20 that you don't like you can roll a Lucky die to change it. You can use this not just on saving throws but also attack rolls, ability checks, and even enemy rolls! (Though of course the most flavorful thing would be to only use it on your own saving throws.) You do only have 3 of these per Long Rest, so be sure to use them wisely to block deadly spells.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 5

5th level Rogues can survive a bit of harass thanks to Uncanny Dodge, letting you reduce the damage from a weapon attack you saw coming by half with your reaction. "Nice try." Your Sneak Attack also increases to 3d6, meaning that your Wails from the Grave increase to 2d6.

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will help you see danger coming, and Acrobatics will help you avoid that danger.

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 7

7th level Rogues can dodge skillshot with Evasion. If you succeed on a Dexterity saving throw you take no damage. If you fail on the saving throw you only take half damage, instead of the full damage! "Step light, strike hard." Your Sneak Attack also increases to 4d6.

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 8

Another Ability Score Improvement is in order, and this will actually be your last one! More Intelligence will boost your Arcane Shots, but the Sharpshooter feat will boost your regular shots. It’s up to you what you do really; adapt your build for more Ability Power or more Attack Damage.

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 9

9th level Phantom Rogues can loot the dead. When a creature you see dies within 30 feet you can use your reaction to grab a Tokens of the Departed. You can have a maximum number of soul trinkets equal to your proficiency bonus, and can’t create one while at your maximum. You can use soul trinkets in the following ways:

While you have at least one soul trinket you have advantage on death saving throws and Constitution saving throws.

When you deal Sneak Attack damage you can destroy one of your soul trinkets to use Wails from the Grave without expending a use of that feature.

As an action, you can destroy one of your soul trinkets to ask the spirit associated with the trinket one question. The spirit appears to you and answers in a language it knew in life. It doesn’t have to be truthful, and it answers as concisely as possible, eager to be free. The spirit knows only what it knew in life, as determined by the DM.

And to top it off your Sneak Attack increases to 5d6, which also means your Wails from the Grave increases to 3d6! “Life’s cheap. Death pays.”

(Artwork by Jean “Curing” Go. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Rogues get another Spell Shield with Indomitable. Once per Long Rest when you fail a saving throw, you can reroll it! It’s really that simple.

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Arcane Archers get another Arcane Shot Option. What? Did you want actual class features? Too bad! Regardless take whatever option you think will be useful honestly, because we got everything we wanted from the earlier levels.

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 11

Now that you’re finally six-slotted you can attack three times with your Extra Attack, or 6 times with Action Surge!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

I've got values; they stack up nicely - Three attacks per turn is good in its own right, but you’ve also got Arcane Shots, a Sneak Attack that can affect two targets, and Radiant Soul to add a flat +20 to your damage every turn.

I'll fight for a cause; I won't die for one - Having around 150 HP is nothing to sneeze at, but what’s really impressive is your saving throws. Proficiency in DEX, CON, and INT saves means you won’t be failing those saves anytime soon, especially since your Soul Trinkets give you advantage on CON saves!

You've got a problem, I've got a price - You’ve got plenty of utility with Expertise in the two “searching” skills, the ability to interrogate people after death, and of course good ol’ Lucky if things go south.

CONS

Make me work for it - You need a lot of actions and reactions to operate at maximum effectiveness. Soul Trinkets are tied to spending reactions and you need your Bonus Action for Curving Shot as well as your Cunning Actions.

Don't get between me, and my gold - You’re honestly not that skillful for a Rogue, with a lot of dud skills (let’s be honest you really don’t need Athletics) instead of potentially more useful things like Insight or Survival. Sure +13 to Perception is nice but that and Investigation are probably the only two skills you’re notably good at, as your took Expertise in general Rogue abilities instead of team utility.

They say the desert is a cruel mistress - Half your saving throws are very good. The other half...? +1 Wisdom saves are quite mediocre for a common save, and -1 to Strength saves certainly has the chance to hurt. Even if you can reroll them it’s still going to be hard to make those saves.

But you’re reliable which is all that can be asked for a mercenary. Your jobs are to fight and to nab treasure, both of which you’re damn good at. Go ahead and pull this build out if the party needs a reliable marksman, and if you roleplay them well they may not even realize you’re playing a character from League of Legends. Pull a little Sneaky on them.

(Artwork by Alex “alexplank” Flores. Made for Riot Games.)

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #dnd build #dnd guide #League of Legends #League of Legends Sivir #yes #Sivir #is #a #champion #LoL #dnd fighter #dnd rogue

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verysaladobservation · 3 years ago

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REFLECT YOUR SUN SIGNS WITH THE INTERIOR DESIGN OF YOUR HOUSE - III

When you enter into a room and instantly feel at ease, something magical happens. It's something we all aim for in our own homes, but it's surprisingly tough to achieve. Picking the right paint color can be a difficult trial and error process. Fortunately, there's a simple way to speed up this process and zero in on not only the color wheel section that speaks to you but also the style of decor that best matches your inner design sensibility. Looking to the stars, according to astrologers, can reveal our favorite colors, finishes, and furnishings.

(This article includes – Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Capricorn)

Virgo The Virgin. A Grounded, Discerning Earth Sign.

Virgos are ruled by Mercury, they have active, clever minds that are meticulous in their attention to detail. Because too much stimulation can overwhelm them, Virgos go for clean, minimalist, and modern styles. This sleek aesthetics will aid their busy thoughts in concentrating on the numerous jobs they have assigned to them. Earth tones and peaceful settings calm their tensions, which they often have due to their perfectionist nature.

The Virgo season begins on August 23 and ends on September 22. After the revelry of Leo season, Virgo season returns our focus to the upkeep that existence necessitates. Virgo energy aids you in concentrating on the intricacies of your life, developing a healthy daily routine, and completing your to-do list. Consider consulting with an interior designer during this period of cleaning up your body, mind, and house to ensure that your home is the sanctuary that will promote efficiency and productivity in your life!

Libra, The Scales. A Charismatic, Peacemaker Air Sign.

Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and harmony, rules Libra. These people are lovely and social due to their Venusian sensitivities. Librans have a strong yearning for beauty and enjoy being in the company of beautiful people, landscape, and interior design.

Because these people are ruled by the scales, they seek equilibrium in their lives. When Libra considers one point of view, it can make them indecisive. Their innate desire is to analyze both sides of an argument. Libras have a natural sense of fairness and justice since they are continuously looking for logical ways to evaluate both perspectives. As a result, they are gifted mediators and peacemakers!

The Libra season will take place from September 22 to October 23. Allow this season to motivate you to nurture beauty in your daily life, spend time with your loved ones, and live in peace. Libras are drawn to harmony and beauty in their environment. Nothing should be out of place at any time. There is a system in place, and everything should follow it. appliances you'd like to keep close by but out of the way Libras seek harmony in all aspects of their lives. The symmetrical fireplace mantle has two tall candlesticks on the left and a lamp on the right. This appearance may appeal to some signs, but Librans will find it uneven and unbalanced. Integrating symmetrical lines where everything is the same is vital for Libra's style.

What might a Libra-inspired space look like in its entirety? Clean lines, lovely decor, neutral colors, and everything in its place would characterize the space. A Libra's sensibilities are based on organization and balance. There are lofty ceilings, neutral colors, symmetrical balance, and a gorgeous Libran aesthetic, as illustrated in the images. Because Libra is the sign that governs relationships, there's plenty of room around the table and on the couches for Libras to host their numerous friends and family members!

Scorpio, The Scorpion. An Intense, Powerful Water Sign.

Mars, the planet of action, assertiveness, and energy, rules Scorpio. These people are strong, and they are drawn to extremes in whatever they do. They are not lukewarm people, expressing devotion and intensity in whatever they do. Their dedication and commitment are unwavering. They prefer their environment to be as powerful and magnetic as they are, thanks to their Mars senses. They may be drawn to deep scarlet, romantic maroons, and bold accent pieces because they want their interior design environment to reflect the same power and intensity as they do.

Scorpio is the zodiac sign linked with rebirth and transition. Our homes are significant reflections of who we are, so if you're looking for a change, start with the environment you see every day. We encourage change into our lives simply by swapping things around. Scorpio is linked to the phoenix, which represents the act of rebirthing into something even more strong.

Scorpio style begins in the bathroom, as it is a water sign. Their powerful character is inspired by the rich colors of mahogany, cream, and mocha in this magnificent restroom. The patterned tile, like this mystery water sign, serves to visually break up the wall, making it more subtle and multidimensional.

Scorpio's secretive aura is drawn to aesthetics that suggest depth and refinement. Because Mars is the ruling planet of Scorpio, adding bursts of crimson and burgundy to the living room will reflect their passionate, amorous character. October 22nd to November 21st is Scorpio Season. Allow this season to motivate you to dig deep to uncover your inner passions and to celebrate your tenacity.

Sagittarius, the Archer. An Adventurous, Free-Spirited Fire Sign.

It's Sagittarius season, which means it's time for the zodiac's annual bash! Sagittarius is one of the zodiac's most fun-loving signs, always looking for new experiences and ways to expand. This sign is connected with all kinds of adventures and learning, whether on a safari or in a college classroom. They are truth-seekers who will always be honest with you – and as comedy is typically one of their strong suits, they will almost certainly communicate said truth entertainingly!

Because Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter, the solar system's largest planet, people can't help but think big. These archers have a flair for seeing the broad picture. They aren't always the most meticulous, but they have the drive, motivation, and EXCITEMENT to motivate others to handle the commonplace.

Interior design for Sagittarius will be as bold and entertaining as they are. Expect bright flashes of color, foreign decor, and photos from one's travels across the world! International inspirations are perfectly blended into the room. A Sagittarius living room isn't complete without a big bookcase brimming with knowledge, as Sagittarius is associated with education.

Sagittarius is the OPTIMIST'S Zodiac sign, and the desire to live in a place as bright and cheery as they are! Bright colors and bold designs attract Sagittarians, who are known for their outgoing personality. November 22nd to December 22nd is Sagittarius Season. Allow this season to motivate you to broaden your horizons and welcome new adventures into your life.

Capricorn, the Horned Goat. An Ambitious, Realistic Earth Sign.

This sign is the zodiac CEO archetype, and they have a high level of excellence that they apply to everything. This Cardinal earth sign is pragmatic to the point of pessimism; they understand what it takes to succeed and is dedicated to it. This contributes to their exceptional work ethic, but it can also make them restless and unsatisfied. While Capricorns are recognized for their ambition and work ethic, they are also one of the wriest, sardonic, and humorous signs of the zodiac!

Saturn, the planet of time, regulations, and limitations, is Capricorn's ruler. This is where their attention to detail and desire for excellence comes into play! Saturn will not allow them to accept anything less than the greatest, and having a Capricorn in your life means they will not allow you to accept anything less than the finest. They won't coddle you, just as they wouldn't coddle themselves, but they will give you sound advice and a pep talk to help you be your best self

Interior design for Capricorns will be equally as elegant and timeless as they are.

Capricorns are drawn to high-quality decor that endures the test of time since they are unaffected by trends. Classic styles, neutral Earth tones, and stunning statement items are all on the menu, reflecting Capricornia's taste at its finest. Because Capricorn is a perfectionist in all ways, you can count on the decor to be flawless!

Because Capricorns are ambitious, their homes may be decorated to represent their numerous accolades and accomplishments, with degrees and plaques adorning the walls. Capricorn Season runs from December 22 to January 19. Allow this season to motivate you to be your best self and to let your standards of excellence shine through in all parts of your life.

#affordable interior design #apartment interior design #commercial interior design #residential interior design #luxury home interior #elegant home decor #home interior design

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sn0tcl0wn · 3 years ago

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rant incoming (don't worry it's not me being mad, i'm just really hype about a book i'm rereading):

i'm genuinely shocked there's never been an uptick in interest in storm thief by chris wooding on this site. like of all places. it's a gothic dystopian YA novel with cyber and dieselpunk vibes with its main characters being a black disabled boy and a girl with chronic illness who live in the ghettos of a society that's built on greed and the bodies of people like them. there's a resistance and the fall of two civilisations. there's also a morally gray monster man. it's a book that's been living rent free in my mind since 2006. i'm currently rereading it as i do every so often and not only is it beautifully written and still holds up but the premise alone seems like the exact thing people would put on lists of diverse dystopian YA fiction or unique books for people who like dystopian fiction, steam/cyber/dieselpunk, gothic sci-fi, or eldritch horror. it has all of those aspects and i think a lot of people are missing out. it's also only one book and it's not too long meaning there's less commitment for people who don't want to read a whole series or start a series and never finish it (i hate doing that and yet i always do).

it's on my list of books i always wished there was an active fandom for because it's honestly one of the coolest fucking book i ever read growing up and much of the imagery it paints and it's story still inspire me to this day. it's at the top of my list of books i'd adapt if i had the chance and something i think people should give a shot. please read storm thief if you get a chance.

also kinda spoiler alert but also everything i'm saying next is either obvious early on (in a good story telling way, not lazy writing way) or straight up on the back of the book;

if y'all do read this book and i end up getting any messages from people whining about the cishetness of the characters i will scream because interracial friendship and love is just as revolutionary as trans and gay friendship and love. like the last time i suggested it to a group of people they complained about it "being basic YA" and "making the straight boy and girl fall in love" and to this day i'm still tight about that shit. like first of all it's obvious from the second they're introduced that they have little crushes on each other and their chemistry is really sweet and natural. it's a good m/f couple and one of the few genuinely sweet and healthy ones i read in YA fiction as a kid (ig you can argue codependency but they're just trying to keep the other one alive). second of all (and more importantly) until this book i had NEVER read a book with a black kid with dreadlocks from the ghetto being the hero of a sci-fi novel let alone being the dude on the cover AND getting the girl even though she's white. like ????? that was a Life Changing Experience for me and if you can't see why i really cannot trust you.

until i was 11 i only read about characters like me and the kids i grew up with in the hood in realistic fiction about being poor and black and sad all the time. this was the first teen novel i remember picking up about a black boy that didn't involve drive by shootings and the kind of racism i already saw and experienced every day. he was out there running from monsters and dodging eldritch storms while uncovering the ancient secrets of a chaos ridden society all while needing a respirator to breathe and wearing a dope gasmask fit. his name isn't some stereotypical "black" name, it's rail which is weird but i always thought that was cool as fuck. he's a character that if he wasn't described as "dark skinned and dreadlocked" in his intro, people would just up and assume he's white because you know why. his blackness is not his character, it's just a trait and he's treated like any other teenage orphan thief archetype only he's way fucking cooler because he has a gas mask and a dope ass artifact.

i will not tolerate any rail or rail/moa slander. he's a bad ass mother fucker and she's an equally bad ass secondary protag who's parents were rebels against the unjust political and economic powers at be and follow in their footsteps. she's also a very active participant in the story even though she could easily have been nothing more than a helpless damsel due to her waifish and sickly presence.

their friends to more arc is a part of the story's progression and their character growth, it is not the main plot point and i'm only spoiling that explicitly because if y'all really don't want to read a story with a m/f couple you can avoid this. but i will say that if you are among the shockingly common many who will straight up tune out when a guy and girl fall in love i really do think you have issues. like i get when it's forced in a really obnoxious way but a lot of y'all will read absolute garbage just because it's gay rep and then sleep on shit like this or other really cool books like hold me closer necromancer (completely different topic but i will rant about that next cause it's my next reread). it's sad to me y'all actively choose to miss out on cool shit because you apparently hate straight people so much that it will completely ruin something that's unique in every other way.

and again, highkey sick of people writing off m/f interracial couples as if the idea of black men being with white women isn't still demonized irl and rare in the media. this book was for kids, written in the mid 00s, and it managed to do what most mainstream media still rarely ever does.

#long post #rant #babbles #im reading again :)#and i am apparently VERY passionate about it :D

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adamarks · 5 years ago

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What’s with the scarf: yet another snowbaz meta

aka the long-awaited and much-anticipated knight/dragon dichotomy meta.

Wanna know that the fuck was up with that scene where simon caught baz’s scarf? Welcome, you’ve found your new home. Let’s go.

Guess who’s back. Back again.

It’s me, bitch. Now here with their 5th goddamn essay on these goddamn books. Somebody stop me I’m a fiend.

For this one i really do suggest you read my simon is a dragon meta, but if you don’t have time just look at this tweet.

Now that we have that out of the way. Let’s get started.

Point One: The Knight

I know what you’re saying, “what? I thought this was about the goddamn scarf? What’s this shit about knights stop.” I tricked you, fucker. The scarf isn’t until the end. (You save the best for last.)

Simon Snow is the knight in shining armor of the world of mages. He’s given a sword and pointed in a direction and off he marches. He’s the secret weapon. He’s the bomb. He’s the one that came to save us. He’s the one that came to end us all. The poetry of Carry On is that he was the dragon he was meant to slay, and he gave up his “knighthood” (powers) to defeat himself.

It’s true that Simon gave up his powers, but did he give up his knighthood? In title and in practice, yes, but he still acts the part. Let’s investigate the defining feature of knights: The Code of Chivalry.

To quote this website that words it perfectly:

“ A Code of Chivalry was documented in an epic poem called 'The Song of Roland'. [...] Roland was a loyal defender of his liege Lord Charlemagne and his code of conduct became understood as a code of chivalry.”

From The Song of Roland came a listing of chivalrous traits that all knights should strive to have. They are as follows:

To fear God and maintain His Church

To serve the liege lord in valour and faith

To protect the weak and defenceless

To give succour to widows and orphans

To refrain from the wanton giving of offence

To live by honour and for glory

To despise pecuniary reward

To fight for the welfare of all

To obey those placed in authority

To guard the honour of fellow knights

To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit

To keep faith

At all times to speak the truth

To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun

To respect the honour of women

Never to refuse a challenge from an equal

Never to turn the back upon a foe

This is Simon to such a T that it’s a little bit alarming. Wayward Son is Simon’s struggle to reintroduce himself into civilian life after being a “boy soldier” since he was eleven. He’s a knight whose sword has been taken, armor melted down, and purpose rescinded.

A knight can’t be a knight when the king’s been killed. Who, then, does he serve? Who, then, does he protect?

Simon has lost his purpose, his meaning. He has these traits that he doesn’t know how to funnel into something else. He’s a chess piece that’s utterly worthless.

Not only does he feel purposeless, but he also hates an entire side of himself. and that leads us to our next point:

Point Two: The Dragon

Simon Snow was the villain of his own story.

He was his own dragon to his own knight. His own worst enemy. The main conflict of this story is a man vs. himself type. Simon hates an entire part of himself. He doesn’t just hate it, he vehemently denies its existence.

“I’m not a DRAGON!” (Wayward Son, Chapter 35)

Of course, if you’ve read my wings meta you’ll know that not only is this him denying part of himself, but also his sexuality. And his love for Baz. But Rainbow writes layers upon layers into this delicious parfait, and Simon’s dragon-ness isn’t limited to being his sexuality. This is literature, after all.

The knight needs to accept the dragon. Simon needs to accept the person that his trauma has turned him into. If you’ve been through any major trauma, you’ll know that you’re different afterwards. You’re still you. All of the most important parts are there- you did make it out alive- but you’re a little bit different.

You’re more careful. You’re more anxious. You guard your heart just a little more fiercely. You don’t want to let people in quite so easily anymore.

What is a dragon’s purpose in a narrative? To protect. To guard. To keep out. To keep in.

The dragon is those behaviors that we learned to protect ourselves in those times of hurt, and while, yes, we need to unlearn some of those behaviors, certain ones may never leave. Once you figure out how to read micro-expressions on an abuser, you can’t just unlearn how to read a face like a book. The issue is figuring out how to manage those habits. How to keep them from hurting others that aren’t going to hurt us. How to... train... our dragons... (I’m sorry it’s my favorite movie.)

So, the dragon is simon’s shadow self and the knight is his light self, yes? Yes. But! Let’s put a magnifying glass up to these two concepts.

If a dragon’s narrative purpose is to guard, protect, keep out/in, and be defeated, then what’s a knight’s narrative purpose? A knight’s purpose is to guard, protect, save, and defeat.

These two concepts aren’t wildly different, they’re two sides of the same coin. Simon needs to stop seeing these two sides of him as enemies and instead recognize that they’re good and bad in equal measures. The dragon questions potential dangers; the knight helps all out of the goodness of his heart. The knight obeys blindly; the dragon knows to obey himself first. The knight is selfless in all things; the dragon is selfish and greedy. There are pros and cons to both archetypes.

But fire and steel? The monster and the hero? How do you reconcile these two concepts? How do they fit into one person?

Well, the answer surprised me too.

Point Three: Tarot?

I know, I know. Stick with me. I’ll explain.

In every tarot deck there are the major arcana (unimportant for this meta) and, just like in a regular playing card deck, four suits. Each suit has a king, queen, knight, and page (also like a regular card deck). Each suit relates to an element: pentacles = earth, swords = air, wands = fire, and cups = water.

We’re going to be looking at the knight of wands.

He is a knight of fire and passion and spark. He is headstrong, impulsive, and reckless. This card is Simon in his entirety. To drive home my point, let me quote from the guidebook to The Enchanted Tarot by Amy Zerner & Monte Farber:

“The dark [Knight] of Wands rides into view upon his great, plumed charger, carrying a fire-tipped wand. Behind him the gray, dusky clouds swirl like smoke, against which his figure glows like red embers. His journey is carrying him into the unknown but he is a pioneer and filled with energy and excitement. He likes to take risks. An active, unpredictable and competitive disposition drives him forward. He radiates a very masculine energy, full of creativity and passion. His youth, however, sometimes impels him to be quarrelsome or overbearing if he feels his authority and leadership are in question. Somewhat self-centered, he is likely to think he knows a good deal more than he does...”

The knight of wands embodies both that regal nature of a knight and fiery passion of a dragon. Simon needs to stop thinking that these two sides of him are incompatible or that one is lesser. Simon is Simon and he is worthy to be called a knight, even with all of his dragon parts.

Point Four: Courtly Love

or maybe not so courtly?

Courtly love was a concept in the knight’s code of chivalry where a knight would pick a fair maiden from a higher status and dedicate all of his great deeds to her honor. Because the catholic church had a tight grip on everyone’s balls, though, this love was not sexualized. Well... it wasn’t supposed to be but we all know how that shit works.

Agatha was supposed to be the “endgame.” She was Simon’s courtly love. His fair maiden to which he dedicated all of his noble deeds.

But Agatha didn’t want to be a fair maiden anymore.

And Simon didn’t love her.

And then there was Baz’s hankie.

In most Courtly Love relationships, there was a token bestowed upon the knight by the lady as a symbol of gratitude and affection. This token was, most often, a kerchief.

I think we alllll remember that goddamn handkerchief. I remember that handkerchief. That handkerchief haunts my dreams.

Simon keeps that goddamn handkerchief in his drawer after he takes it from Agatha. He doesn’t even give it back. He so desperately wants to have this token of Baz’s love. His approval. His friendship. He wants something of Baz’s because he feels like he can’t have Baz himself. Baz is his real unreachable maiden. Baz is the one Simon doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for.

But more importantly, this brings us to the most important point of this meta:

Point Five: The Scarf

“The Mustang sounds like a bat on its way out of hell. And Simon is its getaway driver. Fourth gear on a gravel road, his blue eyes narrowed to slits. My mother’s scarf catches the wind and slips off my head. Snow whips out his hand to rescue it. He glances over at me, for just a second, holding it like a banner.” (Wayward Son, Chapter 25)

I know I literally screamed the first time i read that. Simon is a knight saving his lady’s favor.

But it’s not just that the scarf is a favor. Simon always gives it back. You don’t return a lady’s favor.

“‘Oh, hey,’ he says like he’s just remembered something. He leans back to reach in his pocket, and takes out a wad of blue silk.

‘That’s my mother’s scarf!’ I reach for it.

He opens his hand. The scarf threads through his fingers as I pull it away. ‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘I forgot it was in my pocket.’

‘I thought I left it in the hotel room.’

‘You did.’

I fold the scarf, gently. Snow watches for a moment, then looks away.”

(Wayward Son, Prologue)

Now, @theflyingpeach (hi bri) pointed out to me that the scarf probably represents Baz’s humanity, what with it being his mother’s and him leaving it at the hotel. And yeah she’s right you can read it as that. (and it’s quite compelling) But that’s another meta for another day.

Today we’re on that good knight shit.

That scarf is Simon’s heart.

Baz says he always travels with it. He gently uses it to protect himself against the wind. Simon thinks he’s gorgeous when he wears it. Baz keeps thinking he’s lost it...

but he hasn’t.

He’ll never lose it, as long as Simon’s around.

Go back up and read those excerpts and tell me you don’t want to burst into tears.

Simon keeps returning his heart to Baz. “I’m broken. I’m bruised,” Simon whispers. “I’m a knight with no sword. I’m a dragon with no hoard. I only have this one last thing to protect, but instead I give it to you. I’d give it to you again, and again, and again. It’s yours forever. Even though I think you don’t want it, it’s yours until you explicitly tell me to take it back. My love is yours for however long you want it, Baz.”

The handkerchief in Carry On also translates into being Simon’s heart.

“I go to the drawer where the handkerchief is shoved in with my wand and a few other things, then I wave it in his face. ‘This one.’

Baz pulls the fabric out of my hand, and I pull it back because I don’t want him to have it. I don’t want him to have anything right now.” (Carry On, Chapter 50)

Simon wasn’t ready to give Baz his heart yet in Carry On, but it was still Baz’s. It still had his family crest embroidered right into the material. Simon’s heart has always been Baz’s and Baz’s alone. It’s just that now, he freely gives it. He freely returns it.

“I’m yours, Baz. I’m yours.”

A knight could not go against his code and cross that barrier to be with his lady.

But a dragon is selfish. A dragon can ask for what it wants.

And all Simon wants is Baz.

And Baz is just waiting for him to ask.

Thank you for reading yet again! I dedicate this to bri because without her the scarf thing would’ve never dawned on me. Also she kept bitching at me to write this.

Check out the mirror meta and food meta while you’re at it.

time for the tagging peeps

@singerofsimplesongs @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @krisrix @pastel-pink-death @lowcalcalzones @godmcfuckindammit @fight-surrender @simonsnoww @rareandbeautifulthing @neck-mole @basic-banshee (i know you’re not super into these but you had an anon about it) @birdybabybird @whitefire17draws @teaandinanity @watfordwallflower @carrybits @slaying-fictional-dragons

#sorry if i forgot anyone in those tags #i rise from the dead with two thousand words #as i do #carry on #wayward son #wayward son spoilers #rainbow rowell #meta #anyway the wind blows #awtwb #simon snow #simon snow series #snowbaz #baz #baz pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #Agatha Wellbelove

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yeetmeoffthisplanet · 4 years ago

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I have an Instagram where I write reviews/rant about books, music and art that I like. I got active on Tumblr very recently, so I decided to share it here as well. If you like it, you can have a look at my account there, or gimme constructive criticism about my writing or drop in book recs. Any of that would be great. Thank you!

Book Review: The Ballad of the Sad Cafe' by Carson McCullers’

The Ballad of the Sad Café, a novella in the tradition of the Southern Gothic, focusses on the protagonist Miss Amelia Evans, her hunchbacked cousin Lymon Willis, and her former lover and husband, Marvin Macy, a criminal recently released from prison. Bizarre in their physiognomy and psychology, they create starkly delineated identities for themselves. Yet, this is also the reason for the isolation and loneliness that accompanies Amelia. Her tale, woven into the fabric of her town’s history, turns her into an icon symptomatic of its stagnant “dreariness”.

McCullers projects her own anxieties regarding her physical appearance and bisexuality onto Amelia. She is the archetypal amazon woman who embraces conventionally masculine traits and embodies half of the subversion the author subjects the usual heterosexual dynamics of romance to. There, the man is the active ‘lover’ who bestows affection upon the passive woman subject, who is ‘beloved’. Amelia craves agency, to be the ‘lover’ to her cousin Lymon. However, her attempt backfires in a tussle for power over him with Marvin Macy, a figure who is her nemesis. She loses what she loved beyond everything, and is reduced to “a face like the terrible dim faces known in dreams – sexless and white, with two gray crossed eyes which are turned inward so sharply that they seem to be exchanging with each other one long and secret gaze of grief.”

Although the novella seems to follow the structure of classical tragedy where Amelia’s error of judgement in trusting her cousin leads to her downfall before chorus of the townspeople, this is complicated by the social context within which it is posited. McCullers' lyrical prose weaves the folkloric, dreamlike quality of the ballad into the narrative. The sad stillness of the town’s claustrophobia needs explaining, and her story is a nostalgic imagining of times when the café throbbed with life. In this microcosmic representation of the post-bellum American South, the only remaining testament to its history is a picture of despair - a chain gang of prisoners who labour all day. But they sing, and their music, despite its tired lamentation, rings with hope.

"And every day there is music. One dark voice will start a phrase, half-sung, and like a question. And after a moment another voice will join in, soon the whole gang will be singing. The voices are dark in the golden glare, the music intricately blended, both somber and joyful. The music will swell until at last it seems that the sound does not come from the twelve men on the gang, but from the earth itself, or the wide sky. It is music that causes the heart to broaden and the listener to grow cold with ecstasy and fright. Then slowly the music will sink down until at last there remains one lonely voice, then a great hoarse breath, the sun, the sound of the picks in the silence."

#english literature #literary #american literature #poetsandwriters #carson mccullers #balladofthesadcafe #dark acadamia aesthetic #bookreader #book recs wanted #book review #bookworm #book blog #dark academia #womenswriting #feminist literature #feminist library #literature

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spirit-science-blog · 4 years ago

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“Time not important… only life important.” yep, we’re going there, things are about to get a little bit philosophical now that we’re dealing with the Fifth Element...no..not the Alchemical Quintessence, but close! That crazy 1990s Sci-Fi about a killer planet, the power of love… and… You know, Bruce Willis’s Wacky Taxi Adventures... and all that…

So, major spoiler alert… The fifth element is Love. Well, kind of...it’s this woman called Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat… For short, Leeloo is the fifth element, and in essence: a perfect, supreme being of sorts. In a way, she’s kind of like Avatar Aan, destined to unite with the other classical elements in an ancient Egyptian temple to act as a defense system against this super evil Dark Force called Mr. Shadow - which takes on the form of a cruel planet, whose only goal is to destroy life in a cosmic cycle every 5000 years.

It’s a movie that’s had its fair share of criticism, especially in the gender department… Leeloo is the only real female character, with others appearing randomly throughout as passive objects, sex objects, or with most of their femininity stripped away like Major Iceborg. Aside from the fifth element herself, there’s a real lack of divine feminine in this story, but then again, her nature itself does embody many characteristics of the divine feminine: powerful, unique, and beyond the understanding of nearly everyone that she meets.

Regarding the plot, we have kind of a Raava vs. Vaatu thing happening like from Legend of Korra… and it’s hard not to draw lines to Avatar here considering the whole elemental theme huh? In the intro, we see an archaeologist deciphering ancient words regarding the conjunction of celestial bodies, something we should all do more of you know? Which, by the way, if you haven’t picked up your edition of the 2021 Almanac of the New Age, I might highly recommend it, because it helps you do just that without being randomly surprised by a giant robot-alien! Before they show up though, the archaeologist has to keep yelling to Aziz to wake up, as the kid keeps nodding off… I wonder if this is subtly depicting how humanity keeps falling asleep and thus the light that illuminates sacred knowledge is not currently stable. Yet when the advanced beings come to show the way, the light is blinding… Powerful and concrete.

There’s also a sense here that humans are the custodians of Earth, so we have to protect it from darkness and destruction ourselves, and while these higher beings help when the time is right, they cannot do it for us. While Love is shown as this mythical force that these advanced beings can use to defeat the darkness, it could also be said that Love is neutral energy between Light and Dark, one that is capable of harmonizing both sides, ultimately resetting the cycle, something that is echoed in Zorg’s speech later on.

All this knowledge is of course passed down through a secret brotherhood of priests, acting as keepers through the generations, of which there are many stories of secret societies doing the same in our history, and amazingly in the future where the main story takes place, Priest Cornelius is also an “Expert of Astrophenomenon”. He’s not just an expert on the metaphysical, but also seemingly the scientific study of space, and there’s certainly a sense that he’s got that whole balance thing down to a tee, working to better his understanding of both science and spirit by combining the two fields.

So when the military fires a bunch of missiles at Mr. Shadow, it’s interesting to see how they treat Cornelius, who tries to explain to them what Mr. Shadow is, to which he is mostly ignored, and they continue trying to brute force the problem. Yet Evil begets more Evil - as Cornelius explains, subtly referencing that the military's weapons, or at least their intentions. Mr. Shadow - symbolic of “our” shadow selves, demonstrates that it will grow in power if you try to destroy it with the same mindset that created it. The only way to truly harmonize the darkness is through love.

Even more impressive is this disconnect between the President of Earth and Earth itself. While, of course, they are trying to protect the earth and all of its life, when we see the world, we have to ask… are those living? Police and robots so heavily control everything, it’s smoggy, you see some crazy representations of people like the guy who tries to rob Korben in his apartment, and I’m not sure I saw a single tree…

Now, Major Dallas, to that end, of course, represents the divine masculine, also fulfilling the warrior archetype. While, of course, he checks all the classic hero tropes of the ex-lone warrior destined to save the world and fall in love with a perfect supreme sacred woman, the way it plays out DOES provides us with a bit of wisdom for ourselves concerning synchronicity. He describes that what he wants is to meet that perfect woman, and she falls from the sky into his cab. Perhaps this is a nod to manifestation in some way, as it’s their love story that’s the key to resolving the movie's conflict. It’s also a reminder for us that when we stumble into synchronicity, we have to be willing to take that leap of faith and follow where it leads us. For Korben, he has an opportunity to give LeeLoo up to the coppers but ends up putting his whole life at risk for her instead, but it’s THIS path that leads to the world being saved. Korben has to ask himself what’s important, following his heart and helping someone in need or earning more points on his taxi license…

Now, Leeloo on the other hand, through her character explores the nature of spirituality, DNA, and the physical capabilities of our souls within a body. A big topic in spirituality today is the science of ascension - we made a whole workshop on that which you can watch for free if you like - and what enlightenment might look like or do to our physical bodies. Leeloo’s DNA is perfect.. But it isn’t inhuman. There’s nothing really out of the ordinary about her DNA, she has the same genetic composition as us, just more of it, more tightly packed, allowing for greater inherent genetic knowledge and potential. Perhaps there’s a message here that the human genome is already whole, we just need to utilize its latent capabilities to find inner harmony, leading to a leveling up of what we are truly capable of.

So if Korben was like Link and LeeLoo was Princess Zelda, Zorg would be Ganondorf, completing the trinity. Zorg actually drops some pretty interesting wisdom in his discussion with Cornelius. Despite his “evil” role, his whole name is Jean Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, being named after the prophet and saint in many religions, and Emanuel meaning ”God is with us” in Hebrew. Zorg explains that life itself results from chaos and disorder at times. He believes that by creating a little destruction, he is encouraging life to renew itself, so the Priest and he are really in the same business… while it might just sound like he’s been brainwashed by the Shadow, when we look deeper, we do find some hidden spirituality!

His ideology is in alignment with the wisdom of the importance and honorable role of darkness in our reality. Much like the tower or death card in the major arcana or the shells of the Qliphoth in the Kabbalah, agents of darkness often come to give structure, boundaries, and direction for light to move through, as well as clearing stagnant energy to make way for new and evolved paradigms. Much like the cycles and sine waves that move through nature, energy flows through peaks and valleys that balance each other out.

Zorg knows he is a monster and is proud of it. He’s a businessman at heart, powerful from the money of capitalism, and a reflection of society's state of awareness and evolution. As we mentioned, this future society is portrayed as consumerist and still dwelling on issues of pollution and crime, even in spite of great new technologies. Perhaps that’s why the Darkness had to come, to help propel the evolution of consciousness forward and bring about divine love. However, while the love between Korben and Leeloo is highly symbolic, it doesn’t seem to affect basically anyone else, which might call us to ask ourselves… would it have been better for humanity and its pollution to be destroyed? This - at the very least - seems to be the underlying thinking behind Zorgs criminal activity. Ultimately, in the face of darkness, humans must come together to accomplish things and stop evil, something we wouldn’t do otherwise… This is what makes us evolve as a species.

Zorg perfectly encapsulates his philosophy in his quote about glass, saying “this glass is serene and boring, but when destroyed, a lovely ballet ensues full of form and color”. He then knocks it off the table and a bunch of little vacuum cleaner droids come and clean it up. Describing that the “People who created them, technicians, engineers, now have money to feed their children. They are part of the chain of life".

Interestingly though, Zorg is only a monster because life experiences took him there, but he started like any of us. There is a nice lesson from Cornelius about how fickle life is: all of Zorg’s power counts for absolutely nothing when his entire empire comes crashing down because of one little cherry. Cornelius saves Zorg’s life regardless, showing us the virtue of the angels, even towards the demons.

When the team finally makes it to the alien space opera, we get to meet Ruby Rhod and Plavalaguna. Ruby is one of the most unique parts of this movie… Crazy sexual antics aside, he is unapologetically authentic to his true nature, bending gender standards and seemingly embodying masculine and feminine with grace and humor. Perhaps the epitome of the wacky human spirit. And then as for Plavalaguna, she has some very ascended master vibes. The Mondoshawans entrusted her with the safekeeping of the elemental stones, who actually carries them inside her body as a safeguard. From a Spiritual perspective, this seems to describe how we all embody the classical elements within us. She even senses Leeloo's presence behind a wall down the hallway, implying she has some measure of clairvoyance. Interestingly, like the Mondoshawan from earlier, she doesn’t seem overly concerned with her own death, echoing the movie’s sentiment that time is not important, only life. Deeper though, it appears that she knew she was going to die all along, in order for the stones to get out of her…. We’re not even gonna ask how she got the stones inside her in the first place...that’d be one hard pill to swallow, let alone perform an entire opera with these giant rocks in your belly. Mad props to her.

Perhaps the reason superior beings don’t fear death as we do is that they know the bigger picture, they know these lives are transitory, so they don’t mind dying for a cause, as they understand the purpose of this life in the bigger scheme of things. Knowing that the flux and flow between life and death is transient, they’ll be back in the right place and the right time as life requires it. In the same way, in traditional tarot the horse Death is riding, is stepping over a prone king, which symbolizes that not even royalty can stop change. Plava understands her role and accepts her death, after imparting wisdom to Dallas that Leeloo is still fragile and somewhat human, despite her seeming physical evolution.

This idea of Leeloo still being human, however, forms a key part of the ending, as up until this point she has been learning all of human history via an alphabetical database… When she learns of war, she loses hope in humanity after seeing the darker sides of our past. Certainly, we can’t blame her, humans are the only species to cut down a forest to make room for a billboard that says “stop deforestation”, I’d be pretty shocked about our history too. However, Korben’s love shows her that love is an undefinable thing, it’s not a stone like the other elements, but a feeling between people that permeates everything and is worth fighting and caring for.

It’s pretty funny that when it comes down to it, none of the characters actually know how to activate the super-love bomb. Leeloo doesn’t know what will happen, but she continues to follow her divine calling to be on that platform without second-guessing herself, even if she didn’t know at the end how to activate the final “weapon”..she follows her own inner voice and calling and is guided into defeating the darkness, speaking to the importance of following our intuition and own inner guide.

Ultimately love is shown to be something with no boundaries, no clear explanations, but still exists through us, changing our lives in powerful ways. And through thousands of years, it will stay as the most important thing worthy to fight for. It’s no accident that in a time of such modernized technologies and possibilities humanity once again has to turn to nature for help in the form of the elements. It reminds people that technology cannot always provide protection, it is nature that always has been the source of power, as it exists forever. And only things that are eternal, like nature and love, are of true significance. Today, it seems people either love or hate this movie, but whatever way the coin falls, it is undoubtedly a fun experience, and packed to the brim with spiritual wisdom!

So until next time, be mindful of what you do with the gift of life, cause we never know when a sentient evil planet might try and eat us. Toodles!

This video was created by Team Spirit Connect with the team at https://spiritsciencecentral.com/about

#spiritualitu #science #ascension #mystery school #spirit science

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asldkjf11 · 4 years ago

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You kind of have to split yourself into two people, and treat yourself like someone you have respect for and want the best for. That’s not easy, because people don’t necessarily have respect for themselves, and they don’t necessarily want the best for themselves. They have a lot of self-contempt, and a lot of self-hatred, a lot of guilt, a lot of existential angst, and a lot of self-consciousness, and all of that. And so people don’t necessarily take care of themselves very well. I think you have an obligation—it’s one of the highest moral obligations—to treat yourself as if you’re a creature of value that is, in some sense, independent of your actions. You might think about that, metaphorically, as a recognition of your divine worth, in the Biblical sense, regardless of your sins, so to speak. I think that’s powerful language, once you understand it.

...

I can tell you that, when crisis strikes you—which it will. It will. The floods will come. That’s why the apocalypse is always upon us. The flood will definitely come in your life, and the degree that you’ve organized yourself psychologically, and also healed the relationships between you and your family, could be the critic element that determines whether you live or die when a crisis comes, or whether someone in your family lives or dies.

...

I was thinking about how you should operate in the world in order to make it a better place, assuming that that’s what you should be doing. That is what you should be doing. There’s lots in the world to fix. Everything that bothers you about the world, and about yourself, should be fixed. You can do that. My dawning realization…

...

Let’s say you want to sort out your room, and beautify it, because the beauty is also important. Let’s say all you have is just a little room. You’re not rich; you’re poor, and you don’t have any power. But you’ve got your damn room, and you’ve got this space right in front of you that’s a part of the cosmos, that you can come to grips with. You might think, well, what’s right in front of you? The answer to that is, it depends on how open your eyes are. That’s the proper answer. William Blake said this, for example—Aldous Huxley made comments that were very similar: in a transcendent state, you can see infinity in the finite. You might say, well, you can see infinity in what you have within your grasp, if you look. You could say, maybe, that’s the case with your room.

So you want to clean up your room. Ok, how do you do that, exactly? Well, a room is a place to sleep. If you set your room up properly, then you figure out how to sleep, and when you should sleep, and how you should sleep. And then you figure out when you should wake up, and then you figure out, well, what clothes you should wear, because they have to be arranged properly in your dresser, and then you have to have some place to put your clothes. If you’re going to have some clothes, you have to figure out what you’re going to wear those clothes to do. That means you have to figure out what you’re going to do, and then your room has to serve that purpose. Otherwise, it isn’t set up properly. If it doesn’t serve your purposes, you will be unhappy in the room, because the way that we perceive the world is as a place to move from point A to point B in. And then, if the place that we’re in facilitates that movement, then we’re happy to be there. If the place that we’re in serves as an obstacle to that movement, then we’re unhappy to be there. And so, to set up your room means that you have to have somewhere to go that’s worthwhile, or you can’t set up your room. And then your room has to be set up to facilitate that.

...

when you start building this little microcosm of perfection with what you have at hand, it’ll evoke all the pathologies of everyone in your household. They’ll wonder what the hell you’re up to, in there. They won’t necessarily be happy, because if they’re in a lowly place, let’s say, and so are you, and you’re trying to move out of that, then the higher you move out of that, the more the place they’re in looks bad. You might say, well, what they should do is celebrate your victory over chaos and evil, but that isn’t what will happen. What will happen, instead, is that they will attempt to pull you back down.

I mean, obviously, all families don’t do that, but all families do that to some degree, and some families do almost nothing but that. What that means is that, if you’re going to organize your room, then you’re going to have to confront the devils in your house. That’s often a terrifying thing; some of those devils have lineages that go back many, many, many generations. God only knows what you have to struggle with in order to overcome that. And so, to sort yourself out, and to fix up your room, is a nontrivial matter. You’ll learn by doing that, and then, maybe, you can fix up your family a little bit, and then, having done that, you’ll have enough character so that, when you try to operate in the world—at your job, or maybe in the broader social spheres—you’ll be a force for good, instead of harm. You’ll have learned some humility by noting just how difficult it was to put your damn room together—and yourself, for that matter. You’ll proceed cautiously, with your eyes open, towards the good.

Those are some of the things I’ve been thinking about this week. They’re germane to what we’re going to discuss tonight. What happens at the beginning of the Abrahamic stories is, basically, God comes to Abraham and just says, go. Get going, man. Do something! Get going! You might think, well, where should I go? God is somewhat vague about that. Where he sends Abraham—it’s a real fixer-upper, man. There’s starvation there, and there’s tyranny, and there’s marital dissolution, and there’s deceit. It’s just like where you live, you know? It’s exactly the same thing. It’s tyranny and catastrophe. That’s the tyrannical Great Father.

Abraham ends up having to sojourn in Egypt. There’s a famine, and so mother nature’s on the rampage. Abraham lies about his wife, as we’ll see. So it’s the world. It’s tyranny, vulnerability, and deceit. And yet, God says, go, because if you do go, then you’ll become a father of nations. And you think, again, that’s pretty good news, although it’s strange. You’d expect that, if God chose Abraham, he’d send him immediately to the land of milk and honey. That isn’t what happens, at all, and Abraham never gets there. But his mission is still regarded as divine, and thank God for that. That’s what your mission will be, because that’s what you’ll encounter in your life. Those are archetypal things that everyone encounters: the tyranny of the social structure, the rapaciousness of nature, and the deceitful quality of the human psyche. That’s the world.

That’s a negative view, in some sense, but it’s positive in the story. What it basically says is something that’s akin to the Sermon on the Mount, which is that, if you’re aligned with God, and you pay attention to the divine injunction, then you can operate in the midst of chaos, tyranny, and deception, and flourish. You could hardly hope to have a better piece of news than that, given that that’s exactly where you are. I didn’t see any of that in the Abrahamic stories, to begin with. It’s been very interesting to have that reveal itself. "The Abraham section thus develops the personality and character of a man to a new degree in the Biblical narrative while picturing in him a new degree of responsibility…"

So here’s the other thing that’s really struck me, and I think this is of absolutely crucial importance. I don’t know of how much importance, but it’s certainly important to me. One of the things that has just blown me away in the last year—because I’ve talked to lots of people live, but also lots of people online, but it’s more obvious live, and it’s obvious in this theatre, as well. I’ve gone around and spoken, and a large proportion of my audience has been young men under 30. I’ve spoken to them a lot about responsibility. What’s so odd about this is that, of all the things that I’ve spoken about—because I can see the audience, and I can feel how the audience is reacting. I’m always paying attention to all of you, insofar as I can manage that. I get some sense of how what I’m saying is landing, which you have to do if you’re going to speak effectively to people. What happens is that, if I talk about responsibility, everyone is silent, just like they are now. Just silent, and not moving. Focusing, attentive. I say, pick up your responsibility. Pick up the heaviest thing you can, and carry it. The room goes quiet, and everybody’s eyes open. I think…It always makes me break up. I don’t know why.

I was speaking to an English journalist today. He was going to write an article in Spectator magazine. I was talking about this. At the same point in the discussion, I had the same emotional reaction. I don’t really understand it. There’s something about it that’s so crucial. We’ve been fed this unending diet of rights and freedoms, and there’s something about that that’s so pathologically wrong. People are starving for the antidote, and the antidote is truth and responsibility. It isn’t because that’s what you should do in some I know better, or someone knows better than you, for you, sense. It’s that that’s the secret to a meaningful life. Without a meaningful life, all you have is suffering, nihilism, self-contempt, despair, and all of that. That’s not good.

It’s necessary for men to stand up and take responsibility. They all know that, and they are starving for that message. The message is more that that’s also a good thing, to stand up and take responsibility. You’re cursed so much now, from when you’re young, with this notion that your active engagement with the world is part of what is destroying and undermining the planet, and adding to the tyranny of the social systems. How about not so much of that, ok? It’s too soul-deadening. It’s antihuman, right to the core. My sense, instead, is that if you are able to reveal the best of yourself to you and the world, that you would be an overwhelming force for good. Whatever errors that might be made along the way would wash out in the works.

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if you forthrightly pursue that which God directs you to pursue, let’s say, then all things are possible. That’s the idea in the narrative.

You might say that’s naive. It’s not. You think it when you’re naive, right? And then you dispense with that idea. And then, when you stop being the sort of person who dispenses with ideas, you come to another place. That’s the place where you have no idea what might be possible for you, if you got things together, and pursued what you should pursue. You don’t know how much of what’s impossible to you, right now, would be become possible under those conditions. It’s an unknown phenomena.

I’ve watched people put themselves together, across time, incrementally and continually. They become capable of things that are not only jaw-droppingly amazing, but, sometimes, metaphysically impossible to understand. So we don’t know the limits of human endeavour. We truly don’t. It’s premature to put a cap on what it is that we are, or what it is that we’re capable of. You’re already something, and maybe you’re not so bad in your current configuration. But you might wonder, if you did nothing for the next 30 years except put yourself together, just exactly what would you be able to do? You might think that’s worth finding out. But, of course, that’s the adoption of responsibility.

One thing that I’ve also learned over the years…I’ve been curious about this battle between meaning and nihilism. I could see for a long while the rationale in nihilism, and the power of the nihilistic argument. But it occurred to me, across time, that the power of the nihilistic argument is more powerful than naive optimism, but it’s not more powerful than the optimism that is not naive. The optimism that is not naive says, it’s self-evident that the world is a place of suffering, and that there are things to be done about that. It’s self-evident that people are flawed, and that there’s things to be done about that. The non-naive optimist says, the suffering could be reduced, and the insufficiency could be overcome, if people oriented themselves properly, and did what they were capable of doing. I do not believe that that’s deniable.

I think that human potential is virtually limitless, and that there’s nothing, perhaps, that’s beyond our grasp, if we’re careful as individuals, and as a society. I think that there’s no reason for nihilism, and that there’s no reason for hopelessness, and there’s no reason to bow down before evil. We’re capable of so much more. I think that you can easily—you know that, first, because you’re not happy with who you are, and you’re ashamed and embarrassed about it, as you should be. And you know it because, if you look out there, you see people who are capable of doing great things, and you know that we’re not giving it our all. And, still, we’re not doing so badly. You might wonder, if we devoted 90 percent of our effort to putting things right, instead of 55 percent of our effort, or maybe even less than that, just how well could things be put together? I think that you can figure that out by starting with your room, by the way. "Now the Lord said unto Abram"—this is the opening of the story—"Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:"

This is one of those phrases where every clause is significant. Go somewhere you don’t understand! That’s the first thing: "get thee out of thy country." Back in the 1920s, there was a whole slew of American writers who ended up as expatriates in Paris—Hemingway among them, Fitzgerald, and a variety of others. It was very inexpensive in Paris, at the time. Part of their transformation into great literary figures was the fact that they were out of their country. Now they could see what their country was, because you can’t see what your country is until you leave it. So you have to go into the unknown. That’s God’s first command: go into the unknown! You already know what you know, and that’s not enough, unless you think you’re enough. And if you’re not enough, and you don’t think you’re enough, then you have to go where you haven’t been. And so that’s the first commandment to Abraham. That’s a good one. That makes perfect sense: go to where you don’t know. Yes.

"And from thy kindred." Well, what does that mean? It means grow up! That’s what it means. It means get away from your family enough so that you can establish your independence. And that isn’t because there’s something wrong with your family—although, perhaps there is, as there is, perhaps, wrong with you—but it means get away.

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you are not the master of your own house: there are spirits that dwell within you, meaning, you have a will, and you can exercise a certain amount of conscious control over your being, but there are all sorts of things that occur within you that seem to be beyond your capacity to control. Your dreams, for example—that’s a really good example—or your impulses. You might think of those as so foreign from you that you don’t even want them to be part of you. But more subtly, even, how about what you’re interested in, what compels you? Where does that come from, exactly? You can’t conjure it up of your own accord.

So if you’re a student, and you’re taking a difficult course, you might say to yourself, well, I need to sit down and study for three hours. But then you sit down, and that isn’t what happens: your attention goes everywhere. You might say, well, whose attention is it, then, if it goes everywhere? You say it’s your attention. Heh. Well, if it’s your attention, maybe you’d be able to control it, but you can’t. And so then you might think, well, then just exactly what the hell is controlling it? And you might say, it’s random. Well, it better not be random. I can tell you that. That happens to some degree in schizophrenia. There’s an element of randomness in that. It’s not random. It’s driven by the action of phenomena that I think are best considered as something like subpersonalities—although, even that is only a partial description.

You can’t make yourself interested in something. Interest manifests itself, and grips you. That’s a whole different thing. So what is it that’s gripping you? How do you conceptualize that? Is that a divine power? Well, it’s divine as far as you’re concerned, because it grips you, and you can’t do anything about it. So there’s a calling in you towards what you’re compelled by, and what you’re interested in. Sometimes that might be quite dark, and sometimes not. But you’re compelled forward by your interest. And so the idea that what moves you away from your country, and your father’s house, and the comforts of your childhood home is something that’s beyond you, and that you listen to and harken to. That’s exactly right.

You can say, well, I don’t want to call that God. It doesn’t matter what you call it, exactly. It doesn’t matter to what it is, to what it’s called: it still is. If you do not listen to it—and I’ve been a clinician, and talked to enough people now, as old as I am, to know this absolutely: if you do not listen to that thing that beckons you forward, you will pay for it like you cannot possibly imagine. You’ll have everything that’s terrible about life in your life, and nothing about it that’s good. And, worse, you’ll know that it was your fault, and that you squandered what you could have had. This is not only a calling forth, but it’s a warning.

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The land that’s beyond the land that you know is always there, and it’s always where you should go. All of that’s packed into these four phrases. You look at the world through a story. You can’t help it. The story is what gives value to the world, or the story’s what you extract from the value of the world. You can look at it either way. You’re somewhere, and it’s not good enough. That’s the eternal human predicament: wherever you are isn’t good enough. To some degree, that’s actually a good thing, because if it was good enough, well, there’s nothing for you to do. So it’s actually, maybe, a good thing that it’s insufficient. That might be why, sometimes, having less is better than having more. I don’t want to be a pollyanna about that. I mean, I know that there’s deprivation that can reach to the point where it’s completely counterproductive. But it isn’t always the case that…If you start with little, you start with more possibility. It’s something like that. So you always move from what’s unbearable about the present, to some better future, right? And if you don’t have that, then you have nothing but threat and negative emotion. You have no positive emotion, because the positive emotion is generated in the conception of the better future, and in the evidence, that you generate yourself, that you’re moving towards it. That’s where the positive and fulfilling meaning of life comes.

So you want to set up this structure properly. It’s very, very important. What it means is that you want to be going somewhere where it’s good enough so that the going is worth the while—and you can ask yourself that. That’s partly what we tried to build into the Future Authoring Program: We know what’s wrong with life. It’s rife with suffering, insufficiency, deception, and evil. It’s all of that, obviously. What would make the journey worthwhile? Well, you can ask yourself that. It’s like, all right; in order to bear up under this load, what is it that I would need to be striving to attain? And if you ask yourself that, that’s to knock, and the door will open. That’s what that means: if you ask yourself that, then you will find an answer. You’ll shrink away from it; you’ll think, well, there’s no way I could do that. Well, you don’t know what you could do. You don’t know what’s possible, and you’re not as much as you could be. God only knows what you could do and have and give if you sacrificed everything to it.

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you are not committed to something unless you are willing to sacrifice for it. Commitment and sacrifice are the same thing. It borders on miraculous that those concepts are embedded into this narrative at the level of dramatic actions, instead of abstract explanation. People are acting this out. The fundamental conception is so profound; it’s quite awe-inspiring. It’s breathtaking, really, when you understand what message is trying to be conveyed. You have to make sacrifices. What do you have to sacrifice? You have to sacrifice that which is most valuable to you, currently, that’s stopping you. God only knows what that is—it’s certainly the worst of you. It’s certainly that. God only knows to what degree you’re in love with the worst of you. You move from the unbearable present to the ideal future, and you can’t help that. You have to live in a structure like that. That’s your house—that’s another way of thinking about it. If you want to get your house in order, and if you want it to be a place that you can live properly, then you have to plan the future that is perfect. And then I think, well, what does that mean? It means that it’s good for you.

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This is the issue about going into the unknown. If you leave your country and your kin and your father’s house, and you go out into a land that your intuition guides you to, you’re going to undergo these radical transformations. This is a sacrificial transformation, too, because you’re moving forthrightly and voluntarily into chaos. That’s the same as the dragon fight. That’s the hero’s story. What will happen, there, is that you will transform yourself. And so the call to an ideal is also the call to a sequence of deaths and rebirths that move you closer and closer to the ideal. That’s what God is calling Abraham to do in the first sentence of the story.

You see these things echoed in the strangest places. These are stills that I took from Pinocchio. This little cricket is the still, small voice, right? That’s the thing that calls to you. It’s your conscience, in part; it’s your intuition, in part. It’s the thing that opens up the great, sacred book of the world. That’s what happens, here. The animators are at pains to show you that. It’s a leather-bound book with gilt lettering. It’s a valuable book. It’s something that’s quiet that’s showing it to you. You have to meditate. You have to be somewhere where the world isn’t drowning you out in order to understand how to open this, to listen to that voice that tells you where you should go, what you should do next. And then what happens is that something beckons to you in the night. It’s a star. It’s something that transcends the horizon. It glitters. It’s brilliant. It’s not day-to-day. It’s something that’s beyond you—something that represents a transcendent ideal, and then makes it manifest to you, if you’re quiet enough to listen. That’s what you wish upon, so strangely, right?

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your aim should be something that fills you with awe. Why do something else? Well, perhaps because it’s easy, and perhaps because it’s malevolent, and all of those things. But those are no answers to the problems that beset you. They just make things worse, and that’s clear.

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The idea is that, if you aim properly, then nature aligns itself behind you. It also arrays itself in front of you, perhaps even as an antagonist. But the power that it provides you with, from within, might be sufficient to overcome it from without. I think that the clinical evidence is clear about that. One of the things that we do know is that, if you take people who are confronting terrible things, and shrinking from them, and you teach them how to structure their behaviour so they can advance with courage, everything works better for them. Their fears decrease, and their character grows. And so there might be enough of nature within us to help us withstand the nature that’s outside of us. It depends, at least to some degree, on how it is that we orient ourselves in the world.

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I tell my students, when they’re doing their master’s thesis, write a really bad first draft. And then we have a little conversation about that, because they don’t think I mean that. It sounds like a cliche, in some sense. It’s not a cliche, at all. You’re a terrible writer, but if someone put a gun to your head, and said, "you have to have your 100 page thesis done by next Monday, or I’ll shoot you, but I don’t care how terrible it is," you would sit down and write it. The thing is, then you have it, right? Then you have something, and then you can fix it. You can iterate and fix it. That bad first draft, that’s the most valuable thing. That’s what you need: you need a bad first draft of yourself.

There’s an idea that Jung developed about the trickster, or the jester, or the comedian. The trickster is the precursor to the saviour. That’s one of the things I learned from Jung that was just so unlikely. You’d never think that. It’s so amazing that that might be the case. The satirical and the ironic and the troublemaker, the comedian—the fool is the precursor to the saviour. Why? Because you’re a fool when you start something new. And so, if you’re not willing to be a fool, then you’ll never start anything new. And if you never start anything new, then you won’t develop. And so the willingness to be a fool is the precursor to transformation. That’s the same as humility. If you’re going to write your destiny, you can do a bad first job. You’re going to get smarter as you move forward. Something beckons to you. That’s what happens, here. Maybe the star that Geppetto wished on was the wrong damn star, but at least it was a star, right? At least it was in the sky. At least it moved him forward. And so you say in your life, well, something grips you, and fills you with interest. And you think, should I do that? The answer is, if not that, then something! What if it’s a mistake? It’s a mistake! Rest assured. What do you know? You’re going to stumble around, right? And what’s going to happen is this: you’re going to not stay in stasis; you’re not going to wander around in circles. I see people like that. They say, well, I never knew what to do, and now I’m 40. That’s not so good. That’s not so good, and there is a literature, too, that suggests that people are a lot more unhappy, when they look back on their lives, about the things they didn’t do than they are about the mistakes they made while they were doing things. And so that’s really worth thinking about, too.

There’s redemptive mistakes. A redemptive mistake would be a mistake that you make when you go out and try to do something. You think, ok, I’m going to try to do this, and you’re not good at it. You make a bunch of mistakes. What’s the consequence, if you pay attention? You’re not quite so stupid anymore. That’s the thing: you’ve been informed by the results of your errors. What happens is you follow the beacon; you follow the light, and you’re blind, so you don’t know where the light is. It’s dimly apprehended, only, and you’re afraid to follow it. But you decide to take some stumbling steps towards it, and, as you take stumbling steps towards it, you become illuminated and enlightened and informed because of the nature of your experience, and because you’re pushing yourself beyond where you are; you’re going into the country that you have not yet been in. You learn something. What happens, then, is the star moves. You move 10 feet towards it, and you think, no, that’s not right. I didn’t get it right. It isn’t there; it’s actually there. So then you see it somewhere else, and you shift yourself slightly. You move forward. You continue as you change. The thing that guides you forward moves. It’s like God in the desert in Egypt. The pillar of light that you’re following is moving. It’s not a permanent thing. You move towards it, and it moves away. It guides you forward. So you say, is what I’m aiming at paradise itself? The answer to that is no, because what do you know? You couldn’t see paradise if it was right in front of you, but you might get a glimmer of it. And so you move towards it, and you grow. The next time you open your eyes, you see a little bit more clearly. That just happens over and over. It keeps moving, and so you move like this. But the thing that’s so cool is that each of those zags and zigs is a catastrophe. I hit a wall, my God! And then I had to die a little bit, and I barely got back up. It’s a phoenix transformation at each turn.

It’s painful, but the thing is that, even though you travel 20 miles on that road, and you’ve only moved three miles forward, you’ve moved three miles forward, instead of moving backwards. That’s the thing, too: if you stand still, you fall backwards. You cannot stand still, because the world moves away from you, if you stand still. There’s no stasis; there’s only backwards. And so, if you’re not moving forwards, then you’re moving backwards. Perhaps that’s more of the underlying truth of the Matthew principle: "to those who have everything, more will be given. From those who have nothing, everything will be taken." It’s a warning: do not stay in one place. Well, as you zig and zag, maybe the cataclysm of each transformation starts to lessen. There’s not so much of you that has to die with every mistake. Maybe you end up oriented at least reasonably properly. If you were sensible, that would have been your trip. But it wasn’t, right? It’s that, and perhaps it’s a lot worse than that. Perhaps there’s no shortage of backtracking. But it doesn’t matter, because as you stumble forward, you illuminate and inform yourself. Perhaps that’s partly because the world is made of information. If you encounter it, and tangle with it, then it informs you, and then you become informed, and then you’re in formation, and then you’re ready. God says to Abraham, "I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing." That’s a good offer, fundamentally.

What does it mean to be made a great nation of? Well, perhaps it has something to do directly with your descendants, but I don’t think it’s just that. If you’re a force for good in the world, and that radiates out from you, and if you’re good enough, it’s difficult to say how much of an impact on things you could have. Dostoevsky was a very crazy person, partly because of his epilepsy. He said, "a man is not only responsible for everything he does, but for everything everyone else does." And you think, well, no—and yes; sometimes no; sometimes that’s what you think, if you’re cataclysmically depressed: your sins are so egregious that they’re unforgivable, and that, in some manner, you’re at fault for everything that’s terrible with the world. But there’s actually redemptive truth in that. Things wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t so far from what you could be.

That’s terribly pessimistic, because it’s all on you, man. But it’s terribly optimistic, because, God, there’s a lot of things that you could do. And if you’re crying out for something to do, then that’s the best news that you could possibly have: Things aren’t so good, but neither are you. If you stop doing the things that you knew to be destructive, which is the right place to start—if you’re going to clean up your room, what do you do first? Well, you just get rid of the mess. No one has to come in and tell you, hopefully, what’s the worst mess. It just announces itself to you. You can certainly know, yourself.

It’s a very easy meditative exercise to sit down and think, ok, I’m doing one thing really stupidly that I should stop doing. It’s like, how long is it going to take you to figure out what that is? It’s about two seconds, right? You’ve known it forever. You could even make it less demanding. You could say, there’s some stupid things that I’m doing, that I know are stupid and wrong, that I could stop doing, that I would stop doing. And then you can just start with that. You can just do that, and maybe it’s just a little thing—although, it’s not; it’s a step forward on the proper voyage. It’s not a small thing. You could do this for a year, or even a month: just try not to do things that you know to be stupid and wrong. That means not to say things that you know to be stupid and wrong, as well. Maybe that’s the most important thing. Just do it as an experiment. See what happens.

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I’ve seen this: if you don’t have your destiny in hand by the time you’re 30, it’s rough. You start hurting. And if you don’t have your destiny in hand by the time you’re 40, then you really start hurting. Forty’s a real fork in the road. A fork in the road is always where you meet the devil, by the way. That’s because every time you have to make a decision, the possibility of evil beckons.

I had a friend—I told you a little bit about him. He killed himself just after 40. He had a book published with a very small press. He was quite a good writer, but he could not get himself together. It hit him too hard at 40. I’m not saying that it’s hopeless at 40. I’m not saying that. I’m not saying that, partly because of these verses, and partly because of what I’ve seen in my clinical practice. I’ve had people come to me who have had very chaotic and ill-spent lives, let’s say, who were in that neighbourhood of age—it’s true for people who are older, as well—who then decided to make a real effort, and to try to make where they were better, instead of being bitter about where they weren’t. That bitterness really does you in. It’s really not good. It’s the opposite of gratitude. It’s the manifestation of resentment. It makes you malevolent. It’s very, very bad to be bitter. It’s hell to be bitter. If you’re 40, and you’re not successful, then you have to accept your lot, and you have to start to improve what’s right in front of you. And if you do that, it doesn’t take very long.

It’s quite interesting to watch people. Things can be a lot better in six months, and they can be way better in two years. It’s an uphill struggle, but it’s by no means impossible. I don’t know, again, what the limit of that is. I suppose it depends to some degree on the degree of your commitment.

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I ask myself, what’s the most important thing I could do next? And then I have an answer to that. It isn’t because I decided that I’ll do it, whatever it is, and that I want to know what it is. Those are the decisions. But there’s an involuntary aspect to the sorting that occurs. That’s the psychological equivalent, I suppose, to this. I guess the sacrifice is, when I feel that I will do whatever it is that calls to be done, then I don’t do the other things that I might want to do. That’s a sacrifice. To me, it’s the proper sacrifice, because my sense is that things don’t go properly unless you do what’s most important. And if I want things to go properly—and I do, because I’ve had my taste of things not going properly—it’s not so difficult to do what makes things go properly, under those circumstances.

I think this is partly why the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is embedded in the Abrahamic stories. That’s an apocalyptic story: if things go badly enough, the whole city is destroyed. The reason it goes badly is because the people in the city do not behave properly. The people in the city might be you. So if you’re not behaving properly, then you go, and so does the city, and maybe you want that, or maybe you don’t want that. And if you don’t want that, and you know that if you don’t do things properly then it’s you and the city—if you actually know that—then maybe that terrifies you badly enough so that you’re willing to make the sacrifice to do the right things, instead of the impulsive things that you might otherwise do.

I learned from Viktor Frankl, Carl Jung, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, and from reading the works of many people who wrote on the holocaust and the catastrophes in the Soviet Union. The people who studied it most deeply always came to the same conclusion: the state became corrupted because each individual allowed themselves to be corrupted, or perhaps participated joyfully in the process of being corrupted. The consequence of that was the end of the world. So what that means is that, if you don’t behave properly, then you bring about the end of the world. Maybe you think, well, that’s only the end of your world. Fair enough. Or maybe it’s only the end of your family’s world, which, I suppose, might give you some pause. But there’s more to it than that, because you’re connected to everyone else, and what you do that isn’t good distributes itself, and all the things that you don’t do that could be good take away from the whole. And so, if you know that—and I do think you know that, if you take it seriously. If you look at the historical, cataclysmic events of the 20th century seriously, I do not think that you can fail to come to that conclusion.

...

You know how hard it is to get things together, you know? You go out to do what you’re supposed to do, say, and you’re beset by the intransigence of the world and failure. So what are you supposed to do about that? Maintain your faith in the good, and continue to move forward. That’s the idea. Even if you don’t buy the metaphor, what are you going to do instead, that won’t make it worse? So even if it isn’t enough that you’re pursuing, you’re at least forestalling the transformation of the chaos of your life into sheer hell. That can certainly happen. You see people who are having a terrible time, and then you see people who are having a terrible time, and who are also in hell. It’s a lot better to just have a terrible time than to have a terrible time and be in hell at the same time.

...

if you want to know what to do, ask seriously.

Abraham sacrifices a life to his vow. So what do you do? Well, you don’t sacrifice an animal. You don’t make a blood sacrifice; you do it psychologically. You say, I’m going to sacrifice my life to this aim. That’s what you do, if you’re serious. What do I do next? Well, I’m going to sacrifice my life to this aim. What is it that I should do that’s worth sacrificing my life to? That’s a serious question. Maybe that’s the sort of question that people don’t ask, because they’re afraid of the seriousness of the question and the potential magnitude of the answer. Do you really want to know what you should do that would be worth sacrificing your life to? Well, the answer is yes, because it’s worth it. But the answer is also no, because it’s your life, you know? What if you’re wrong? And you’re probably wrong. But maybe that doesn’t matter. Maybe the rightness is in the process, and not in the decision. It’s the beginning of a sequence of decisions, as we’ve already pointed out.

...

those things that you consciously do although you know them to be wrong yourself. Those are the things that seem to get people into the most trouble in these stories. I believe that to be the case. I think that’s very accurate, psychologically.

It’s amazing. I see this all the time: If you do something wrong, and it’s because you’re ignorant, you don’t know better, it doesn’t go well for you. That’s the case. But if you do something wrong, and you know it’s wrong, the punishment is manifold. I think the reason for that is because that makes you Cain. It means you betray your own ideal. If you just don’t know, well, you haven’t betrayed your ideal; you’re just not together. Maybe you’re even wilfully blind. But if you do something that you know to be wrong, then you’ve betrayed your own ideal. Then that lands you—once Cain destroyed Abel, Cain said to God, "I cannot bear my punishment."

...

Here’s the belief: it’s the willingness to act as if the world is constructed so that, if you do the right thing, the best possible outcome will occur. It’s a decision; that’s the covenant. It’s a decision about how to live in the world. The evidence can’t be there before you make the decision, and so you might hedge your bets.

When Christ comes back in the Book of Revelation to judge people, virtually everyone gets cast out with the chaff, and not saved with the wheat. He says something very interesting. He appears in the vision with a sword coming out of his mouth. It’s a horrifying vision. He divides humanity into the damned and the saved. He says something very interesting. He says, "to those who are neither hot nor cold, I will spew you out of my mouth." It’s a disgust metaphor, right? What it says is that the worst punishment isn’t waiting for those who committed to something and did wrong: the worst punishment is reserved for those who committed to nothing and stayed on the fence.

That’s really something to think about. It’s also something I believe to be true, because I see that stasis is utterly destructive. There’s no progress; movement backwards is all there is. There’s aging, suffering, and no progress. And so to not commit to anything is the worst of all transgressions. To commit means to put your body and soul into something. To offer your life as a sacrifice means that you’re willing to make a bargain with fate. The bargain is, I’m going to act as if, if I give it my all, then the best possible thing will happen because of that. And to not see the analogy between that and the active faith in God is to misunderstand the story completely. And it has to be an act of faith, because how are you going to know? You can look at other people, but that isn’t going to do it.

Kierkegaard was very clear about this sort of thing. There are certain sorts of truths that you can only learn for yourself through experience. That’s, of course, why Abram also has to go out alone, right? It’s the individuation process—like dying, it’s something that you do alone. There’s no way you can tell what’s within your grasp, let’s say, unless you make the ultimate sacrifice. And there’s no way of finding out without actually making it.

...

It’s the hero’s journey uphill: I’m here; there’s a crisis; I collapse; I reconstruct myself to a higher place. Life is like that, continually, and that’s the story of Abraham. This is what’s so cool: that is what your life is going to be like. Whether you plan out your life or not, it’s going to be punctuated like that. Maybe it won’t go up; maybe it’ll go down. The question is, what sort of container do you need to be in, in order to tolerate the movement up and down? That’s what the story of Abraham provides: it provides a description of the covenant. The covenant and the ark are the same thing, except the covenant is the psychological equivalent of the ark. The covenant is, have faith in the structure of existence and go forth. That’s the covenant. The story is, that’s the best possible solution that you have at hand.

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dnd5a · 4 years ago

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Patch 2.7 - Spark of Creativity

This patch focuses on three major factors: A) the beginning of inclusion for content from the latest release, Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything, B) the inclusion of the Artificer class in a reworked form, and C) an official rules page that lists all official differences between the base game and ‘5.5e′ (that isn’t what I’m calling it, because that’s very pretentious. It doesn’t have a name yet, but for the sake of simplicity, 5.5 works ok)

Classes

NEW: ARTIFICER Now, originally, the artificer was omitted from my class list for two reasons: 1) the original Unearthed Arcana artificer was incredibly poorly designed and ill-fit for purpose, and 2) it was already far too similar to the existing runeshaper, whose flavour I liked a lot more.

After the new version was released, I still wasn’t convinced, but the flavour intrigued me more, so I experimented with implementation. This new version is legal from hereon in, and has a few alterations from the base class in Tasha’s and Eberron.

Individuals playing the Artificer Runeshaper League may switch if they choose.

Infuse items with magical powers, craft and attune to magical items far more efficiently, and gain access to a unique spell list unlike any other class.

Artificer includes the following archetypes:

Armourer: Build a mech/ironman suit and punch people

Artillerist: Build magical turrets in all sorts of forms

Battle Smith: Artificer paladins that heal allies and beat up enemies

Botanist: Summon shrub friends and deal poison damage in a way that actually works

Mechanic: Build a magical vehicle to ride around on

Roboticist: Build robotic companions to help you in battle

Transmortalist: Improve your own body with technological upgrades

BARBARIAN

Rework - Subclass: Path of the Wild Soul Adjusted according to changes made in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything

6th level feature now has a secondary ability that grants bonuses to rolls for 10 minutes. The whole feature has limited uses, and the spell slot recovery can only be gained by a creature once per long rest.

Alteration: Brutal Critical Now specifically causes the bleeding condition (see below)

DRUID

Buff - Subclass: Circle of Stars Adjusted according to changes made in Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything

Star Map now grants the guidance cantrip as well as guiding bolt a set number of times per day. Bonuses granted to Archer and Chalice at 10th level increased to 2d8.

New - Subclass: Circle of the Wildfire Added as a part of Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything

All about destruction and rebirth, circle of the wildfire allows you to summon a Wildfire Spirit, as well as gain bonuses to your damage and healing.

INQUISITOR Buffs introduced in version 3 of the inquisitor in Patch 2.5 were a strong step towards making the class a more viable pick, as well as making it much more unique mechanically. However, a lot of the subclasses still didn’t hit the mark, with most being quite underpowered (or in the case of Shadow, horribly overpowered). These changes seek to address that.

Fix - Conversion Allies can no longer take aggressive action against creatures charmed by the second active effect of Silver Tongue without breaking the charm

Rework - Flagellant Flagellants now pay a blood price to use their abilities, reducing current health, instead of max health. Most features are similar, if not the same, but scale more clearly. Flagellant now gets a lot more benefits for being below half health, similar to their inspiration the titular class from Darkest Dungeon

Nerf - Judicator Soul Strike scaled waaaaay too hard, so the ability to put more than one soul into the ability has been removed. 10th and 14th level abilities swapped.

Rework - Pursuer Holy Scourge now starts as a d6, increasing to a d8 at 10th level, and a d10 at 18th and Hunter’s Velocity grants movement towards hostile creatures as a bonus action.

Rework - Shadow New 1st level ability, Shadowed Blade, combines Sudden Judgement and Shadow Strike into one more balanced ability that can only trigger once per turn. New 6th level ability, Deceiving Darkness, grants benefits to taking the Hide action as an action. Ambidexterity now grants further bonuses to your invisibility

Buff - Strength Fervent Devotion refunds devotion when expending it would’ve been a waste (the attack would’ve hit anyway). Eternal Flame has been reworked into causing damage over time.

ROGUE Alteration: Strike Technique - Serrated Strike Now specifically causes the bleeding condition (see below)

New: Roguish Archetype - Vigilante Mark enemies for your allies and have a secret identity

VIGILANTE Having proven itself as a truly awful class with functionally no redeeming qualities, vigilante has been unceremoniously booted from the game, and integrated more effectively as a rogue subclass. Good riddance.

RUNESHAPER Removed: League of Artificers For obvious reasons. See artificer for more details

SPELLS

New - Blade of Disaster Omega-Spiritual Weapon

Buff - Bleed Now causes the bleeding condition (see below), and deals more damage overall. Is a bonus action to cast, and is not concentration.

New - Dream of the Blue Veil Travel to another material plane.

Buff - Indalamar’s Bladestorm Now causes the bleeding condition (see below) and deals more damage overall.

Buff - Indalamar’s Piercing Blades Now causes the bleeding condition (see below) and deals more damage overall.

Buff - Intellect Fortress Now scales with targets

Nerf - Spirit Shroud Damage now scales once every other level

New - Sword Burst Spinny sword boys

New - Tasha’s Mind Whip Smack their mind and slow ‘em

New - Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise Become a spooky celestial or fiend

FEATS

New - Chef Ratatouille, minus the rat

New - Fighting Initiate Gain a fighting style

New - Tandem Tactician HELP GOOD!

New - Weapon Type Feats Three new feats, each for bludgeoning, piercing and slashing weapons. Called Crusher, Piercer and Slasher, these feats give bonuses to an associated stat, as well as granting a once per turn attack effect, as well as a bonus to critical hits with that damaging weapon

RULES

I use a lot of homebrewed rules, and it’s about time I documented them all. There is now a sizable rules page that details a variety of altered and ratified house-rulings, including some of the following:

New: Bleeding Now an official condition with its own formatting and rules text. Features and spells have been updated to accommodate this change.

Rework: Falling Fall damage is now based on your size. Smaller creatures roll smaller and less dice than larger creatures when falling from great heights.

Rework: Injuries Injuries have been reworked and simplified heavily. They may undergo further balance tweaks, but this new version is likely to stick.

Buff - Mounted Combat Now has new rules text that allows for mounts to act more independently from their riders

Reversion: Medicine & Nature Have now been reverted to their original associated ability scores, Wisdom and Intelligence, respectively. This change only affects characters that have yet to be played in new campaigns, as well as future planned campaigns. Pre-existing campaigns and characters are unaffected by this rules change.

New: Passive Hearing and Smell Creatures have a set range in which they can hear and smell things, anything outside of that area that is unseen is considered hidden automatically.

New: Tumbling and Overrunning Moving through hostile creature’s spaces now requires a check, unless that creature is notably smaller or larger than you.

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rebelcourtesan · 4 years ago

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My D&D Build for Joel from The Last of Us Part 1

In anticipating of the upcoming The Last of Us Part 2, I’ve replayed The Last of Us Part 1 and came up with a character build for Joel. Maybe after I played the Last of Us Part 2, I’ll come up with a build for Ellie.

Joel is a survivor, fighter, smuggler, and reluctant father figure for Ellie. When he’s not keeping the infected at bay, he’s taking down hunters and bandits left and right to get Ellie to safety. While he initially has a rough exterior, he eventually warms up to Ellie and will do anything to keep her safe.

Long Post Below

***Stats***

Dexterity: Highest stat. I did some thinking and while Joel is a pretty strong character and brutal in hand to hand combat, he still relies mostly on stealth and range weapons more than using his fists.

Strength: Second Highest. Joel is a beast when it comes to hand to hand or melee combat. Also he’s strong enough to drag and push carts and open metal shutters not to mention swimming.

Constitution: Third Highest: Joel did survive almost being drowned and being impaled on rebar without being taken to a hospital. Ellie did save his life, but still Joel is one tough bastard.

Wisdom: Fourth Highest. Being a survivor of the apocalypse and experience has taught Joel to keep an eye out for ambushes and traps. As he had told Ellie once, ‘I’ve been on both sides.”

Intelligence: Fifth Highest. Joel is not an educated man and never had the opportunity to go to college before having his daughter and the apocalypse.

Charisma: Dump Stat. Joel has a pretty touch exterior and is blunt about his feelings and has a hard time opening up to others.

***Race***

Go with Variant Human and put each of the points into Dexterity and Strength.

For the Feat choose Stealthy. It nets Joel an additional point to his Dexterity (we want to get this maxed out as soon as possible) and proficiency in Stealth checks. Also when hidden he can move up to 10 feet in the open without detection if he moves where he isn’t clearly visible. (Like through a smoke bomb).

Choose Intimidation for your skill proficiency. Joel isn’t afraid to get rough to get what he wants from smugglers, hunters, and bandits.

For background choose Outlander which gives Joel proficiency in Athletics and Survival. He does a lot of running, swimming, and climbing and traveling across wasteland America would require some rough living.

Starting Joel off in Fighter. Joel gives just as well as he takes from opponents.

***Fighter Level 1***

For your skills choose Perception and Insight. Joel can see danger coming and can sense when people don’t have their best interests at heart.

For Fighting Style choose Archer for +2 to range attacks. Joel may hit hard, but he only does melee when the enemy is on top of him. Most of the time he relies on marksmanship to keep enemies at bay.

Second Wind will allow Joel to heal 1d10 + Fighter Level, as a bonus action on his turn per short or long rest. Even when he takes a hit, he keeps on fighting.

***Fighter Level 2***

Action Surge will allow Joel to take second action on top of his normal and bonus action per short and long rest.

***Fighter Level 3***

Choose the Martial Archetype Champion. Joel can not crit on a 19 and 20 to deliver brutal damage to attackers.

***Fighter Level 4***

Ability Score Improvement: Put these points into Dexterity. If by chance this score is already maxed out, put any extra points into Strength.

***Fighter Level 5***

Extra Attack lets Joel do two attacks whenever he takes the attack action. Perfect for smacking attacks with axes, pipes, boards, and baseball bats. Or firing off a second shot.

***Fighter Level 6***

Ability Score Improvement: If Dexterity is maxed out then put points into Strength.

***Fighter Level 7***

Joel becomes a Remarkable Athlete. He can add half his proficiency to any Strength, Dexterity, or Constitution check that doesn’t already use a proficiency bonus. Joel is very resilient and keeps going despite the odds.

Also when Joel makes a running jump, the distance he can cover equals his Strength modifier.

We’re going to dip into Ranger (UA Revision). Joel is experienced with the outdoors and rough living and navigating terrain to reach landmarks.

***Ranger Level 1***

Favored Enemy: Choose humanoids. Infected are dangerous, but people more so. Joel gets +2 to damage rolls with weapon attacks against favored enemies, plus he has an advantage on Survival checks when tracking them and Intelligence checks when recalling information about them.

Natural Explorer: This gives Joel a number of benefits that fit his criteria. He can ignore difficult terrain, gain advantage on initiative rolls and attack rolls on creatures who have no acted yet.

Also, when traveling with others like a party or Ellie, he can aid the group in traversing the wilds. Difficult terrain doesn’t slow the group down, always alert to danger when engage in an activity while traveling. Joel can gain double the food when foraging and when tracking other creatures, Joel can determine their sizes, group numbers, and how long ago they had passed through. When traveling alone, Joel can move at a normal pace in stealth.

Now we’re going to go into Rogue. Joel does a lot of sneaking around and ambushing unsuspecting enemies.

***Rogue Level 1***

Joel can rolls Sneak Attack damage (1d6) whenever he lands a hit with an advantaged attack. Must use a range weapon or a weapon with finesse. With levels in Fighter he can use martial weapons so give him a scimitar or short sword and consider it a machete.

Expertise: Choose two skills to double Joel proficiency bonus. Go with Stealth and Athletics.

Thieves' Cant: Joel was a smuggler so perhaps he picked up some secret lingo while smuggling items and people in and out of QZs.

***Rogue Level 2***

Cunning Action: Joel acts quickly in battle. He can use a bonus action to Dash, Hide, or Disengage.

***Rogue Level 3***

Choose Scout as Roguish Archetype.

Skirmisher: Joel is fast and furious in a fight. He can move up to half his speed as a reaction ends its turn within 5 feet of him with provoking opportunity attacks.

Survivalist: Gains proficiency in Nature and Survival and double the proficiency if he already has them. In this build, Joel will double his Survival proficiency while gaining Nature.

***Rogue Level 4***

Ability Score Improvement: Max out Dexterity and Strength.

***Rogue Level 5***

Uncanny Dodge: Joel can use his reaction to halve an attack from an attacker he can see. He can take a hit and keep on swinging.

***Rogue Level 6***

Expertise: Gain double proficiency in two more skills. This time select Nature and Perception.

***Rogue Level 7***

Evasion: When making a Dexterity saving throw to avoid an area effects such as thrown molotov cocktails or spore bombs, Joel takes no damage on a success and only half damage on a failure.

***Rogue Level 8***

Ability Score Improvement: By now both Dexterity and Strength should be maxed out. If not go ahead and max them out and/or add points to Constitution.

***Rogue Level 9***

Superior Mobility: Joel’s speed increases by 10 feet. This also applies to Joel’s climbing and swimming speed.

***Rogue Level 10***

Ability Score Improvement: You know the drill. Max out Dexterity and Strength. If they are already maxed, put points into Constitution or round out ability scores.

***Rogue Level 11***

Reliable Talent: Whenever Joel rolls a d20 for an ability check of a skill he has proficiency bonus in, any 9 or lower is considered a 10 to the check!

***Rogue Level 12***

Ability Score Improvement: Last chance to max out Dexterity, Strength. If already maxed out, put points into Constitution or round out odd ability scores.

And there you have it. You have a character that can traverse the dangerous terrain of urban and wooded areas. Expert at range attacks, but can throw a deal brutal melee damage when cornered. And can sneak up on enemies and ambush them with serious damage. Also, he withstand taking not too serious hits and continue fighting.

#DnD 5e #dnd 5e character #dnd character build #Joel #the last of us

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tigerkirby215 · 4 years ago

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5e Teemo, the Swift Scout build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

So funny story: Teemo was originally going to be a Death Cleric and I had this massive joke about how “Illaoi was a Cleric with no Cleric levels and Lux should’ve been a Cleric but wasn’t and then the Devil himself ends up being a Cleric” but midway through writing this build I realized that another class made a lot more sense and I had to scrap like half my work.

Even on Tumblr Teemo annoys me.

GOALS

Swiftly - Teemo is literally called “the Swift Scout.” You’ll never guess what subclass we’re going to pick.

That's gotta sting - We’re going to need to fight dirty with poisons and blinds to overpower our foes.

Got a little surprise for 'em - Your enemies should never feel safe walking into your territory, knowing that a trap could be there just waiting for them.

RACE

One may think that to be a small Swift Scout one would want to be a halfling, but there are plenty of small races in 5e to choose from. This may come as a surprise but I’m actually going to suggest playing a Deep Gnome. Your Intelligence increases by 2 and you have Gnome Cunning for advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma saving throws against magic.

As a Deep Gnome your Dexterity increases by 1. You have Superior Darkvision of 120 feet, and advantage on Stealth checks to hide in rocky terrain thanks to Stone Camouflage. I mean, it’s not a bush but you could probably stealth in the jungle.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - You don’t get the title of “The Swift Scout” by being slow on your feet. (Excluding the fact that you have 25 movement speed.)

14; INTELLIGENCE - Knowledge of guerilla warfare would be more intelligence-based.

13; WISDOM - Teemo is a survivalist, having to spend months in the jungle with nothing but mushrooms to keep him company.

12; CONSTITUTION - Even if Teemo is squishy in-game it’s still nice to have a bit of extra bulk.

10; STRENGTH - Teemo needs to be able to carry all his equipment, which is where Strength comes in.

8; CHARISMA - FUCKING TEEMOOOOOOOOOOOO. (Memes aside feel free to make your Strength lower I’m mostly just dumping Charisma for the meme.)

BACKGROUND

As a Survivalist the Outlander background is pretty good to take. You get proficiency in Athletics, but I’m actually going to suggest swapping your Survival proficiency with Medicine for reasons that are going to be clear later. Why Medicine? I think Teemo would remember to bring some health pots. Regardless you also get proficiency in a musical instrument of your choice (Spirit Blossom Teemo has a Flute so take that) and a language of your choice. (Which of course has to be Infernal kekw. But really pick whatever you think will be useful.)

As an Outlander your Wanderer feature will help you remember the layout of the map you’ve been on for 10 years, and you can find food and water for yourself and 5 other people due to your adept survival skills. Captain Teemo on duty!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue for the extra proficiencies. Take Acrobatics to swiftly run away, Stealth to... well, stealth, Deception to trick foes into walking onto your mushrooms, and Perception to gain vision with your traps. You also get Expertise in two skills: Acrobatics and Stealth will make you the master of hit-and-run.

Speaking of hit-and-run Rogues get Sneak Attack, allowing them to do an extra d6 of damage if they attack with Advantage, or if an ally is within 5 feet of the target they’re attacking. The attack has to be with a ranged weapon which is a good segway to talk about Teemo’s weapon. Blowguns do exist in 5e but they’re trash, so unless your DM is willing to give you a seriously strong blowgun I’d personally suggest just using a Light Crossbow... for now.

But if you meet any other Bandle Scouts out in the wild you can communicate with them using Thieves’ Cant, a secret code only taught to scouts and other Rogues.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Hey it’s everyone’s favorite ability: Cunning Action! As a Bonus Action you can now Move Quick to Dash or Disengage, or use your passive to Hide. Of course Hiding with Expertise in Stealth and then popping out to shoot a poisoned “dart” (crossbow bolt) at an enemy is a good way to get a sneak attack off.

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues can choose their Roguish Archetype, and hey isn’t it funny that Rogues have a subclass called “Scout?” Scout Rogues are Skirmishers, allowing them to move up to half their movement speed away from an enemy if they end their turn within 5 feet of you as a reaction.

And remember how I told you to drop Survival proficiency? Scout Rogues gain free Expertise in both Survival and Nature thanks to the Survivalist skill! Now would be a good time to point out that D&D Beyond will let you change the proficiency in your background if you get it past level 1. Also your Sneak Attack increases to 2d6.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

4th level is our first Ability Score Improvement: for some Guerrilla Warfare take the Skulker feat to hide more easily in bushes, not reveal yourself when you attack, and see better while hiding in the brush.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 5 - WIZARD 1

Hey look everyone it’s my favorite class, because Teemo perpetually frustrates me! If you can’t tell this was going to be Cleric levels and I’m writing this immediately after scrapping like half my build so... a little annoyed. Yay.

Anyways Wizards at level one get Spellcasting: you get a Spellbook where you can write down 3 cantrips and four 1st level spells. Your cantrips are always ready but you can prepare a number of spells equal to your Wizard level plus your Intelligence modifier. Seeing as your INT mod is 3 that means you can prepare all the spells I list! (At least for level 1)

CANTRIPS

For a ranged source of poison damage take Infestation to both poison and confuse your foes to make it harder for them to approach you.

For a melee source of poison damage take Poison Spray for a lot of damage! What do you mean Poison damage is commonly resisted? I don’t know what you’re talking about.

To strategize with your team Message will let you keep quiet while preparing to ambush!

SPELLS

Snare is a trap spell that will let set up a trap. Not a mushroom trap, but a snare trap.

If you want to use your traps for information however Alarm will let you ward an area so you know if someone passes through it. Or you can make the alarm loud so everyone knows!

For some poisoned darts Ray of Sickness lets you do... exactly that. Shoot posioned darts to poison your foes.

Finally to Move Quick take Longstrider, which increases your movement speed by 10.

You also get access to Arcane Recovery, allowing you to recover Spell Slots on a Short Rest equal to half your Wizard level rounded up (with some finer details please read the description of the ability that I’m too lazy to describe.) Teemo has a lot of supplies to survive in the wilderness, so it’s not surprising he packed more darts.

LEVEL 6 - WIZARD 2

Second level Wizards can choose their Arcane Tradition and I’m actually going to suggest a bit of a wild card here: go for the Bladesinging subclass. Yes it’s meant for Elves only but I have never met a single DM who enforced that rule.

Regardless as a Bladesinger you have Training in War and Song for Performance proficiency, Light Armor proficiency (which you already have), and proficiency in one type of one-handed melee weapon. (Scimitars are the only Finesse weapon you don’t have proficiency in as a Rogue so that’s basically your only option.)

But the main feature of the Bladesinger is of course their Bladesong. You can activate your Bladesong as a bonus action for 1 minute. During Bladesong your AC increases equal to your Intelligence modifier, your walking speed increases by 10 feet, you have advantage on Acrobatics checks, and you get a bonus to Concentration checks equal to your Intelligence modifier.

“But Teemo doesn’t use a sword!” I hear you say. Well Bladesong ends if you use two hands to make an attack but you know what doesn’t take two hands to shoot? Well for one Blowguns, but since Blowguns in 5e suck: Hand crossbows! Get a Hand Crossbow to supplement a blowgun, and boom you’re still a ranged character! Yeah much to my surprise Bladesinger doesn’t have any restriction on using ranged weapons: you just can’t use two hands to make an attack. Regardless you have two uses of Bladesong per short or long rest.

You can also add two more first level spells to your spellbook like Detect Magic and Identify to help you know what you find in the wild.

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 3

Third level Wizards can learn second level spells like Blindness / Deafness for a blinding dart, and Invisibility for more Guerrilla Warfare.

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get another Ability Score Improvement but you know what we don’t have enough of? Feats! Take the Crossbow Expert feat to ignore the loading property on crossbows, ignore melee range disadvantage with crossbows, and attack with a hand crossbow with your bonus action after making the attack action. Stinger attack speed’s gotta sting!

Additionally you can learn another two spells at this level along with a new cantrip! For your leveled spells grab Misty Step for Flash and Enlarge / Reduce, because size doesn’t mean everything. For your cantrip Mending will help you keep your scout equipment in check.

LEVEL 9 - WIZARD 5

At level 5 you can learn 3rd level spells. You know what we haven’t gotten yet? Mushrooms. For a very expensive trap Glyph of Warding will let you put down a near-invisible glyph in an area for a mere 200 gold and 1 hour of set-up time. You decide what triggers the glyph, be it something complicated or something simple like an enemy walking near it.

When the spell activates you can choose one of two effects: the simple solution is just to make it explode for 5d8 acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder damage. Alternatively you could store a spell of third level or lower into it, and have it target whoever activates the glyph or the area around them. I’d highly suggest reading Glyph of Warding over in full before using the spell. It’s a powerful spell but it’s costly and requires a lot of set up time.

But you know what’s a simple spell? Fireball. Weaponize your shrooms for a big explosion of damage.

LEVEL 10 - WIZARD 6

6th level Bladesingers get an Extra Attack! Yup: that’s it! Because you’re a fake Fighter. But yeah this is primarily why we took Crossbow Expert, so you can still attack twice with a crossbow.

Well, you can also add another two spells to your spellbook. To move incredibly Swiftly take Haste. Other than that you can truly grab whatever spell you want as there isn’t much else that’s truly “in character” for such a simple character as Teemo. My out-of-character suggestion is to take Mirror Image from second level for a great boost to survivability. The only thing more annoying than one Teemo is three Teemos.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 11 - ROGUE 5

Back to our swift scouting ways 5th level Rogues get Uncanny Dodge, letting them use their reaction to reduce the damage of an attack by half. Your Sneak Attack damage also increases to 3d6.

LEVEL 12 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will let you make good use of your wards, and Deception will let you make good use of your mushrooms.

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 7

Isn’t Teemo really annoying and hard to kill? Well with Evasion he’ll be even harder to kill since he’ll take no damage on a successful Dexterity saving throw and only half damage if he fails. And your Sneak Attack increases to 4d6 too?!

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 8

8th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement and you know: I don’t think we have enough Feats. Fade Away is a Gnome-specific feat that will let you get use out of your passive by turning invisible when you get hit as a reaction. You remain invisible until the end of your next turn or until you attack, deal damage, or force someone to make a saving throw. You can use this reaction once per short or long rest and it uses the same reaction as Uncanny Dodge, so use it wisely!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 9

At 9th level your Scout training gives you Superior Mobility for 10 extra feet of movement speed. "Hut, two, three, four!" Your Sneak Attack damage also increases to 5d6.

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 10

10th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement to help compensate for all the feats. Increase your Dexterity and Wisdom by 1 for even Ability Scores.

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 11

11th level Rogues get Reliable Talent so any roll with a skill you’re proficient in can’t be below a 10. If you roll a 9 or lower it counts as a 10. Whenever I get this ability I like to do a tally of all the skills you have and what the lowest potential roll is, so...

26 in Acrobatics (with Advantage if in Bladesong)

26 in Stealth (with Advantage to hide in rocky areas)

25 in Nature

24 in Perception or Survival

22 in Deception

18 in Medicine

16 in Athletics

15 in Performance

And to top it off your Sneak Attack damage increases to 6d6.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 18 - ROGUE 12

12th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement and as much as I want to take more Feats (believe me I do) let’s finally cap off that Dexterity score for the deadliest darts.

If you aren’t playing with Standard Array and want some more Feats here’s a few I could suggest:

Poisoner (Yeah duh)

Svirfneblin Magic (More blinds, among other things)

Alert (To always be ready for a fight)

Observant (A half feat to spot any incoming danger)

Tough (Just because you aren’t a tank doesn’t mean that Grasp of the Undying is a bad rune)

LEVEL 19 - ROGUE 13

With 13 levels in Scout you are an Ambush Master. You have advantage on initiative checks, and in addition the first creature you hit during the first round of a combat becomes easier to hit. Attack rolls against that target have advantage until the start of your next turn, because it’s pretty hard to defend yourself when blinded. "Smell that? That's fear." Your Sneak Attack also increases to 7d6.

LEVEL 20 - ROGUE 14

Your final level is the 14th level of Rogue for a 10 foot Blindsense, allowing you to sense any hidden or invisible creature near you. Clearly they only have camouflage.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Turns out I got a proficiency in killing - Up to three attacks per turn with a +11 to hit means it’s more than likely you’ll hit your 7d6 Sneak Attack. Not to mention the strength of Wizard spells, notably Fireball.

Wars are won with men, not machines - Rogues are skill monkies and it turns out you’re quite the asset outside of combat. Expertise in 6 skills, notably the ones to keep alive in the wilderness. And of course the ability to cast Ritual spells like Detect Magic and Identitfy.

Never underestimate the power of the Scout's code - So Teemo’s pretty annoying right? Well I didn’t realize he’d be so damn elusive! +11 to Dexterity saves with Evasion, 35 feet of movement, Advantage on all mental saves, insanely good stealth skills, reactions to get away from danger... And this isn’t even mentioning the benefits from being a Wizard! Bladesong lets you increase your AC by 3 (up to 20 if you’re wearing Studded Leather!) and increase your movement speed to 45... Oh and you can just turn invisible! As well as blind the enemy and speed yourself up.

CONS

Size is a liability - A few feats too many means not enough ability scores, yet somehow we don’t have enough feats for things like Poisoner. Perhaps reserve this build for when you can use Point Buy. Or at least ditch Skulker because you really don’t need it when you can, ya know... turn invisible?

You'd be surprised how quick fur ignites - Of course the lack of Ability Scores means that your Wizard DC isn’t fantastic. Granted most of your spells are utility but a lot of them require saves, and a lot more of them are rather weak. Poison damage is one of the worst damage types in the game and both your cantrips are poison, not to mention Ray of Sickness. Feel free to grab other spells as you see fit.

Lots to do before I punch out - Teemo is squishy in League and Wizard levels don’t help in D&D. Even with the +1 to CON you’ll likely have a little over 100 health by level 20, which easily puts you in Power Word Kill range. You’re elusive yes but a bit of bad luck and you’ll be six feet under.

But you’re not meant to be the strongest: you’re meant to be annoying. Hit-and-run, hide in the shadows, and whittle the enemy down before you win the war of attrition. You’re in it for the long-con, and not just the end game. You’re engaging in psychological warfare: tearing at your opponent’s mental state until nothing remains. You are a master of anger and temptation. You are a demon; a devil... Or you might just be a hamster with a blow gun.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

#DnD 5e #dnd #dnd build #dnd guide #League of Legends #League of Legends Teemo #dnd rogue #dnd wizard #satan

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howanimestuffworks · 4 years ago

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Now it’s time for something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit different. We all know that at this point in time the world is out of sorts so it’s nice to have that little ray of sunshine every now and again. Luckily for me that ray of sunshine just gotten bigger with me being nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award!

I made my first couple of graphics! I think they turned out good!

Like always we have to begin with the rules:

Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog so that other people can visit them.

Answer the 11 questions put to you by the nominator.

Nominate 11 bloggers of your choosing and provide them with a new set of 11 questions to answer.

Notify the nominees by commenting on one of their blog posts.

List the rules and display The Sunshine Blogger Award logo within your post or on your blog site.

The person that nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award was no other then Pinkie from Pinkie’s Paradise, who is one of the many active bloggers I know and has helped me come out of my shell and try and blog more then keep hiding away!

I always love reading Pinkie’s new posts and look forward to any new ones that pop up, I will recommend checking her blog out as her blog is just so CUTE! Especially with all the restyling she has done! (I so need to know how she managed to get a animated background working on her blog!) Anyway onto my answers and if you need any directions to Pinkie’s site just click here!

I am a tad late getting this done (along with everything else hahaha) but I really reaaaally needed to get my training for work completed otherwise my manager will literally murder me with a spatula!

I mean she would if she could, is it even possible to be murdered by a spatula?

Q: Have you ever cosplayed, if yes.. what’s your best cosplay? If no what would you cosplay if you could?

Sadly no, I never had enough money to spend on the materials I would need for my cosplay, nor have I had the confidence to pull of a cosplay, I am very self conscious about my body and hate the fact that I still have some “puppy fat” at 33 years old. Even though I am pretty much self conscious about my body I would still push myself out of my comfort zone and cosplay some of my favourite characters.

There’s a little list of cosplays I would love to pull off from my favourite anime and games, Zelda from The Legend of Zelda series, Hitomi Kanzaki from the Vision of Escaflowne and Chibi Usa from Sailor Moon being three that I would love to go for!

Aren’t these girls cool!

Bonus Pic!

Kinda scary shoving Pinkie Pies head on Chibi Usa, give me the willies!

Q: What is the least geeky thing about you?

What is the least geeky thing about me…man this one is so so hard! Hahaha! I think the least geeky thing about is that I love love to go for long walks! I just go where my feet take me!

Q: If your life was ever turned into an anime, what type of anime would it be?

Hmm.. I think it would be a dramatic slice of life shoujo that would depict me failing adulthood severely and kinda boring…until my life goes from boring to eventful where I’m transported to another realm to go saving the world with my babble of followers that consist of my favourite characters who somehow got dumped in said realm along with me, and blamed me for that happening cause I had to go poking that portal till it exploded and sucked us all in!

It would all fall on Van and Chise to try and find us a way home without me screwing everything up in the process!!

This was fun to make I gotta admit that, plus I just couldn’t stop laughing!!!

Q: If your life was ever turned into a video game, what type of game it would be?

It most probably be the same as the anime adaption just more in depth and set out like a JPRG!

Chise would be a perfect character to take the Healer position considering one of her abilities is creating medicine in Mahoutsukai no Yome (The Ancient Magus Bride).

Van would be taking the warrior class, mainly swordsman as he is quite adaptable when equipped with his own sword, though I can picture him cursing his head off about the amount of times I died throughout our adventure.

Hitomi would be our visionary, she can predict things before they happen through visions even though some do take a mental impact on her.

Duo is pretty good at stealth so I can picture him using that to his advantage with some pretty good stealth kills when we cannot attack outright.

Heero is more melee so would just attack outright but he is also good at physical combat and can use that to his advantage.

Luffy would be similar to Heero and would create a good tag team with him.

Q: If you’d have to choose any other archetype but geek, what would you want to be?

I would be a story teller, one of my goals is to be an author and have my own set of YA Fantasy books out there in the world! It would be a big achievement for me in my life, I have a few brainstorms going on some of the characters but I’m keeping that a secret for now..Suuuush..

I would love to be a well known author and have alot of people adoring my stories and characters!!

Q: What’s the worst thing you have ever done to a friend?

The worst thing I did to a friend is throw a book at them! I do treat my friends with alot of respect and never treat them all badly, but this friend of mine (who is now my boyfriend, strange things happened ya know) just would not be quiet so I could read, all he ever did was natter away to me and then the book went flying at him…I regret that so much…

Q: What is your favourite alcoholic beverage and tell us about when you had too much of it.

Believe it or not I have not had one ounce of alcohol pass my lips ever, so I never had any drunk stories to tell. (Which is ironic considering I work in a pub!) It’s mainly tied to my past, I’ve seen what alcohol can do to a person and sadly I was a victim of that, my dad is a severe alcoholic and he used to abuse me, my siblings and my mother, so I never ever touched the stuff.

It’s still quite hard to talk about as it affected me my entire life in so many ways.

Q: How would you take over the world, in a world of endless possibilities? Be evil!

Firstly I would destroy all the world leaders and then brain wash everyone across the globe to do my bidding and make my cat their supreme leader!! (come on who doesn’t want to be ruled over by an evil kitty!)

I would then force people to constantly pick up litter (mainly because I am so sick of people dumping litter everywhere) and to become my cats slaves and servants and imprison their families if they refused!!!

Okay I’ll admit I am so bad at being evil…

Q: Which anime character you think could stop the you from question 8.

Can I pick two…I can picture Usagi Tsukino and Sakura Kinomoto tag teaming and defeating me and my kitty! Me and my lovely Videl would pass in each others arms and live a happy and evil afterlife where we destroy Satan and take his throne and become rulers of hell!!

I think they would make a great team!

Q: Which anime characters would be the henchmen to the you from question 8.

I would brain wash the best of the best to become my henchmen! The Prince of all Sayain’s – Vegeta and of course Goku would be mine and Videl’s guards! Piccolo and Gohan would lead my mighty army!

But they may have a tough time with this lot…we shall see if Usagi and Sakura come up triumphant!

Q: If you could make one true wish, but it had to be at least somewhat selfish, what would it be?

If I could make one wish for myself it would be to be a millionaire and live in a posh mansion that has a pool with all my cats! They would have their own rooms and have luxurious beds like I would! They would also have loads and loads of toys and their own pool side loungers!!!

I’ll be the new kid on the block!

What is the most geeky thing about you?

What is the next Anime that you are planning to watch?

If you could write out your life story, how would that story go?

What was the saddest Anime scene you have watched?

What was the best thing you have done for a friend?

What were your plans this year before the pandemic?

If you could pilot a mech or Gundam, which one would it be?

If you could marry an anime or video game character, who would it be?

Tell me about the last game you have played?

Is there a character out there that is most similar to you?

Last book you have read?

Truthfully I don’t know that many people considering I’m the new kid on the block within the anime blogging community, I’m basing my nominations based on the few people that I have come to know within the anime blogging community recently.

I’m sorry if you were already picked!!!

Mari from Starting Life At Zero Who’s brave posts really are inspiring to me and has helped me understand alot of things lately.

Roki Bloop from Secluded Observations who actually stumbled across my blog on twitter and introduced me to a few more bloggers, if it wasn’t for Roki I wouldn’t even be doing the Sunshine Blogger Award at all!

Nabe-Chan from Geek Nabe Another lovely person that I have been interacting with on twitter and has a lovely blog!

Pinkie from Pinkie’s Paradise I am so getting you back! hahaha! Pinkie is so awesome and has such a cute and funny blog!

Steph from Two Happy Cats another blogger that I’ve been following on wordpress since I created my old account.

Kiritonarukami from KiritoNarukami One of the newer bloggers that I stumbled across on here lately.

Mike from Gaming and God Another blogger I’ve stumbled across lately who’s blog consists of not only Anime and Manga reviews but also Gaming reviews!

Lesley from Lesley’s Anime and Manga Corner Another Anime and Manga blogger that I have discovered 🙂

Odyssey from LOFZ ODYSSEY ANIME REVIEWS Another cool blogger that I’ve discovered!

Jiraiyan from Otaku Orbit is one of the two bloggers that I’ve been following on wordpress since I created my old account. (I actually have two accounts but liked the name of this one more.)

Okay I stole this idea from Pinkie but I needed a reason to use this wallpaper!

PS: If you would love to be nominated then you can if you answer this question about me, who is the character I am using throughout my blog?

A Pony With Sunburn Is Not A Good Look: The Sunshine Blogger Award! #anime #otaku #blogger #animeblog #blogging Now it's time for something a little bit out of the ordinary and a little bit different.

#Anime #otaku #Sunshine Blogger Award

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