#You can imagine I have lots to say on both their creation as well as their personalities! đŹđ§Ąđđ§ĄđŹ
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Last July, I expressed interest in wanting to create arcade flyer-inspired character cards for the colorful cast of Rascal... and only ended up making one for the titular bunny boy. To make up for it, however, I think it's finally time to reveal Rascal's full cast...
... by way of a group shot and sprite showcase! đŹđ§Ąđđ§ĄđŹ
#â Star's Art â#Star's OCs#Rascal#Rascal 1983#Rascal Arcade#Cupcake Rascal#Goofball Rascal#Jellybean Joe#Mr. Stackman#Sour Sally#Choco Chuck#Arcade#Arcade Games#OCs#Coolness#Behold... a post roughly ten months in the making!!!#I'd designed this lot of OCs back in mid-2023... and they have all been my blorbos since.#My intent was to draw individual key art for each one to have something for each character's character card#Though admittedly I'm still trying to hammer out a definitive artstyle for Rascal#Though seeing as I hadn't drawn the group altogether since late June of last year...#... I decided to jump right back in and draw this group shot for the purpose of revealing everyone to tumblr!#I would be more than happy to answer any questions anyone has about this candied cast...#You can imagine I have lots to say on both their creation as well as their personalities! đŹđ§Ąđđ§ĄđŹ
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âI Look Forward To Never Seeing You Again.â
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL
P.S. Most important post ever! Lots of content, has to be read thoroughly and carefully to ensure full understanding!!! No skimming allowed here!!
ăŁâ TABLE OF CONTENTSâ àż
1. UNDERSTANDING THE LAW
2. IDENTIFYING ALL STRUGGLES/FEARS
3. GETTING RID OF ALL STRUGGLES/FEARS
4. HAVING A CLEAR DESIRE
5. ASSUMING & FEELING
6. PERSISTENCE
Hey Upper East Siders.
Now that halloween is over, itâs not long till the spooky chill of October turns into the icy chill of November. Hot cup of chocolate in one hand, and your dream life in the other.
Once upon a December ago, the only thing you held in both hands was incompetence and procrastination. Notice how I didnât mention failure? Well thatâs because, you canât fail with a correct procedure. And the only thing that should be falling next season, is snow, not you.
And to the old state? Oh how we never look forward to seeing her again. Because after reading this post, you will break free from all your limitations and fulfill your every desire.
Are you ready to say goodbye to the old state? For good this time, that is. Because youâre not going another year without your dream life, not on my watch. And not on your watch either.
ăŁâ UNDERSTANDING THE LAWâ àż
As we all know, understanding the law of assumption is the most important thing ever. There are two very, and I mean VERY important concepts of the law that you need to understand. Here they are -> CREATION IS FINISHED!!!
-> Read this post by Edward Art and read it thoroughly!
-> CLICK HERE TO READ
-> KEY QUOTES: âCreation is finished.â
âIn order for us to desire, there must be fulfilment of that desire.â -> This means you cannot have a desire, without a version of you that already has it existing. So whatever you are desiring right now, there is a version of you that has it. What I mean by âthereâs a version of you that already has itâ, means that there is a version of you that has it in the 4D. Your inner self has it. You just have to become aware of that version ( BECOME that version in imagination and fully identify with that version).
âThese are versions of YOURSELF. THEY ARE YOURS.â -> Without this understanding, people think that they cannot achieve their desires because itâs âtoo far awayâ and out of reach. How can something be out of reach when you already have it when creation is finished? There is nothing external when it comes to the law of assumption. Everything is within you. Your dream life comes from you. There is no magical force outside of you that gives you what you want. Is your awareness far away from you? Is your awareness out of reach? No, and neither are your desires, because they are you. Change what you are aware of.
Now onto the MOST important understanding!
-> INNER SELF IS YOUR REAL SELF!!!
-> Read this post by Edward Art and read it thoroughly!!!
-> CLICK HERE TO READ
KEY QUOTES: âIDENTIFY yourself FULLY with the INNER MAN.â -> When you do not fully identify yourself with the inner self, you start to identify with the outer self. And the outer self holds nothing but doubt, fear and struggle. But when you fully identify with your inner self, I promise you, those doubts, fears and struggles no longer exist.
âThe outer man sees nothing but limitations.â -> You know that when you start to feel fear & doubt, that you are identifying with the outer man. Limitations donât exist within your inner self. You need to understand that your inner self = consciousness. When you are changing what you are aware of, you are changing what you are conscious of. Your consciousness has NO limitations, because you are God/Creator of your reality. All your limitations come from the outer self, and when you no longer identify with your outer self, all those limitations no longer exist, and you will no longer feel them. And that is a promise.
NOTE: Your inner self is truly your real self. Because the outer self reflects the inner self. The one within is who creates! The 4D reality is the real reality because the 3D cannot exist without it!!! The 3D is FULLY dependent on the 4D! Not the other way around. To understand this concept further, CLICK HERE
ăŁâ IDENTIFYING ALL STRUGGLES/FEARSâ àż
â© Being and Having becomes difficult when you have underlying doubts, fears and struggles. You may be stopping yourself from fully identifying with the Inner self without even realising.
â© Right now, and yes I mean right now, open up your notes app, or get a paper and pen, and ask yourself :
âWhat do I struggle with when manifesting?â
âWhat are my fears and doubts when manifesting?â
â© Really take the time to think about what you struggle with and write down your answers. Be completely honest with yourself, no sugarcoating.
ăŁâ GETTING RID OF ALL STRUGGLES/FEARSâ àż
-> Now that youâve identified all your struggles & fears, I want you to think about where those doubts, fears etc are coming from.
-> I promise you one thing, there is only one simple answer to this question. The answer is âIdentification with the OUTER self.â
-> ALL and I mean it, ALL of your doubts & fears come from the outer self. The one who is currently experiencing the 3D. No matter what your doubts and fears are, they come from the outer self. Remember the previous quote, âThe outer man sees nothing but limitations.â
-> ALL your struggles will disappear when you identify with the Inner self. Your inner self is limitless and itâs all you need to manifest your dream life.
-> You do not need to do subconscious training and meditations etc to get rid of your struggles and fears and doubts, all you need is yourself. Nothing external will help you. You NEED to understand that the ONLY way to get rid of your struggles is to STOP identifying with the 3D (your outer world & self), and to FULLY identify with the 4D (your inner world & self).
-> NOTE: Unidentifying with the 3D doesnât mean to ignore the 3D. You are still experiencing the 3D in your day to day life, you simply cannot ignore it. All you can do is just not identify with it. How do you do this? When you experience the 3D, you do not assume that your 3D self is the real you, because your inner self is the real you! You view the 3D as nothing but an illusion based on past assumptions.
-> Now you may be thinking, âSo how do I identify with the inner self.â We will come to that later in this post. I will take you through creating and maintaining assumptions and fully identifying with your Inner self and completely un-identifying with the outer self.
ăŁâ HAVING A CLEAR DESIREâ àż
â© Itâs important to know what you want to manifest. Thatâs what we call desire. It all starts with desire. Make sure you know what you want to give to your inner self. Know who you want to become.
â© You also need to know how you are going to go about giving your inner self this desire and fully identifying with it.
â© Right now, make a list of what you are going to manifest (give to your inner self). Know what you truly, deeply want and promise to stick to it.
ăŁâ ASSUMING & FEELINGâ àż
â© Now this is the part where people get confused. If you donât know already, FEELING is the secret. FEELING is what manifests. Your 3D conforms when the feeling (having your desires) is natural to you.
-> CLICK HERE to read my post about feeling and what the âfeelingâ is. This is a slightly simplified version of Edward Artâs post. If you want further understanding (which you need), to read Edwardâs post CLICK HERE
-> Now that you know what the feeling is, you need to know how to practise it. How to use your senses to imagine and accept. Luckily for you, here is the perfect explanation of how you should be imagining. -> CLICK HERE
-> SUMMARY of what your imagining âprocessâ should look like :
-> STEP 1: Remembering that your only goal is to become who you want to be in IMAGINATION only!!
-> STEP 2: Give yourself whatever you want in imagination through the use of any methods that you prefer. Experience having it in imagination with the knowledge that the inner self in the real self. You cannot deny being when you experienced it.
â© NOTE: -> Make sure that you know which methods fulfill you. If affirming does not feel natural to you, then choose another method of imagining etc visualising may feel more natural to you. Keep in mind that if you are someone who visualises but has to look at a picture to visualise properly, do not rely on anything external like a picture. Because you do not always have access to a picture of what you want to experience in imagination. Yes, you can visualise when looking at pictures, videos etc, but when you do not have access to those pics and vids, make sure that you use other senses rather than trying to visualise something you want and failing then feeling unfulfilled because the vision didnât turn out how you wanted it to sue to intrusive thoughts etc. In other words, do what truly fulfills you! It doesnât matter what method you use as long as you allow the feeling of the wish fulfilled and focus completely on that feeling.
â© NOTE 2: When visualising, start by feeling fulfilled through deciding etc or any other method, then start to visualise with the feeling because that feeling generates scenes, vaunts, affs FOR you and it is SO much more natural.
-> STEP 3: Allowing the feeling of the wish fulfilled when you are experiencing having your desires in imagination. Fully focusing on the FEELING having your desires as your inner self in imagination gives you! You know for a fact that you arenât waiting for anything and that you have your desires without a doubt in imagination.
-> STEP 4: FULLY identifying with your INNER self and completely disregarding your 3D self. This is what true persistence is. Continuing to identify with your inner self regardless of what feelings and thoughts the outer self tries to impose on you.
ăŁâ PERSISTENCEâ àż
â© Now for the final part. Persistence. Without persistence, you arenât being who you want to be.
PERSISTING = Completely identifying with the inner self regardless of what feelings and thoughts the outer self tries to impose on you.
-> When you are persisting you have to fully become and maintain your identification with the inner self and the inner self only.
-> Read this post by Edward Art on identifying with the inner self -> CLICK HERE
-> You have to completely immerse yourself in the inner self because that is the real you! This is what true persistence is because identifying with the inner self means to no longer doubt, fear or struggle.
-> Now for the last part of persisting, you have to stay CONSISTENT!!!
ăŁâ COMMIT TO CHANGING SELFâ àż
You have to completely commit to your new story. No half arsing it. The inner you (4D) is your new dwelling state. NO more dwelling in the 3D.
STEP ONE: Decide what you want
STEP TWO: Imagine & Feel -> When dwelling in the feeling of the wish fulfilled, when you are done imagining, tell yourself âI know for a fact that I have my desires right now in imagination and that the inner me is the real me.â -> If you do not believe this with 100% certainty, you cannot move on with whatever you are doing. GO BACK TO IMAGINATION AND CORRECT THAT FEELING SO THAT YOU FEEL WITH 100% CERTAINTY THAT YOU HAVE WHATEVER YOU WANT IN IMAGINATION BECAUSE THE INNER YOU HAS IT!!! YOU DO NOT VIEW IT AS A DESIRE BECAUSE YOU ARE 100% FULFILLED!!!
-> Read my post on how to imagine correctly (CLICK HERE)
-> Read Edward Artâs post on imagining for an example (CLICK HERE!)
STEP THREE: Persist! If you do not imagine and feel with 100% certainty that you have your âdesiresâ in imagination, then you cannot consider yourself to be persisting. You canât just half be in the state. You have to fully be in the state of the wish fulfilled. And the only way to do that is by fully identifying with your inner self.
-> You are not focusing on the confirmation of the 3D. That worry comes from the outer self. KEEP GOING BACK TO IMAGINATION NO MATTER WHAT!!!
-> You are going to do this EVERY.SINGLE.TIME your âdesiresâ come to mind. No excuses. There is nothing to change but self. Imagine whatever you want and identify with it.
Wondering what to âdoâ when experiencing 3D circumstances?
-> You are NOT supposed to be âignoringâ the 3D. How can you ignore something that is right in-front of you. You have to view the 3D as nothing but an illusion based on past assumptions!!! This is how you unidentify with the 3D! It has nothing to do with you because it is nothing but an ILLUSION based on PAST assumptions!!!
-> If you âfallâ out of the state, itâs okay donât curse at yourself. Just go back to imagination and feeling. Also if you find yourself naturally thinking from your old assumptions, just go back to imagination and feeling. Nothing can âruinâ or âstopâ your manifestations because you already have it!!!
-> No matter what, keep going back to imagination and feeling! No matter what you feel, go back to imagination and feeling! No matter how difficult the 3D is, go back to imagination and feeling! The 3D has nothing to do with you once you stop identifying with it!
-> If 3D circumstances get too much for you, go back to imagination. The answer to everything is, just simply go back to imagination. Seek proof in imagination. It is your safe place. Make it your safe place by evicting the outer world from your inner world. Create a beautiful world for yourself in there. You always have access to imagination. You always have access to the feeling.
-> There are no excuses to not persist, especially after reading this post!
P.S. Make sure youâve read every post iâve linked throughout this post! They are extremely important!!
-> People with the success stories are the ones who have fully identified with the inner self. -> @loasuccessarchive
-> Read my favourite success story quotes (CLICK HERE)
You have no excuses. Go give yourself your dream life. Decemberâs coming. And Santaâs not going to drop your dream life down your chimney. Give yourself a holly jolly Christmas, and a dream life to feel thankful for on thanksgiving. You know you love me. XOXO
- gossip girl
#void state#void#law of assumption#loa tumblr#loassumption#loa blog#loablr#manifestation#loa#the void state#loa advice#loa manifesting#loa tips#loass#neville goddard#edward art#affirm and manifest 𫧠đâš ÖŽÖŽÖ¶Öž Ù Ë#i am state#affirming loa#affirm and persist#law of assumption blog#liveintheend#living in the end#dream life#desired reality
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Did You Hear
Fluffyy crack fic and nothing else. Imagine Tony Stark's shy new assistant sitting at the kitchen island for breakfast, getting a cup of tea before heading to the lab. She's sipping from her steaming mug when a very pretty super solider walks in from his run and the heat rising in her cheeks isn't from the hot Earl Grey.
"Mornin' y/n" He gives you a polite smile while he makes his way to the fridge and you had to silence the squeak that nearly escapes your lips. He's in a pair of snug grey sweats which are resting sinfully low on his hips and his tight black t-shit showing off every divot and curve of muscle on his torso. You bite you lip as he bends down to grab a cold bottle of water, silencing a squeal with a sip of tea.
"Morning, Sergeant" You give him a smile and the lopsided grin he gives you as he goes on about his day leaves you giggling and kicking your feet. You were just about finished your cup when Nat walked in next, looking you up and down with a shake of her head.
"Bucky was here, wasn't he" She playfully rolled her eyes knowing the effect the brunette had on you. "What happened this time"
"Bucky has a cute butt" You giggled, while Nat snorted at your flustered state. "And slutty thighs"
"Do you ever plan on actually telling him"
"No!" You vigorously shook your head. That was out of the question for you; you were happy to admire the soldier from afar. The last thing he'd want is to have to deal with is the playground crush you had on him anyway, it was a miracle he even noticed you. "He doesn't even see me that way"
"Well, guess we'll never know" She sassed as you slipped off the stool to make your way to the lab.
"I'm happy to admire God's work from a safe distance!" You called over your shoulder while Nat shook her head, smirking to a third person you didn't see who was lingering near the kitchen, very happy to listen intently to the conversation that was taking place.
The one that was supposed to be a secret from Bucky's ears.
That wouldn't do.
-
"Did you hear?" Sam grinned, sauntering over where Bucky was sparring with Steve, both men panting after already going for a few rounds. "Word on the street is you have a cute butt"
"What" Bucky deadpanned while Steve smirked, watching the heat in his friends cheeks already starting to creep up to his ears.
"Mhm, that little tush of yours has been getting a lot of attention lately"
"From who" Bucky's face scrunched up in confusion, frowning when Sam cackled, clapping his shoulder.
"Tony's cute lil assistant" He says with a wink, noting the immediate change in Bucky's demeanor, his frown falling off his face, replaced with a very pink blush.
"You mean y/n?"
"Uh huh. Must've been those slutty grey sweats you've been running around in"
"Slutty?"
"Extremely. Especially with those thighs"
"And how do you know this" Bucky struggled to bite back a smile, not wanting to get his hopes up until he was sure. "There's no way she-
"Heard her talking to Nat this morning. She sounded real excited after seeing you and your cute butt" Sam gave him a swat causing him to yelp.
"Hm. Interesting" The soldier nodded already looking towards the showers so he could rinse off and find you.
"Yeah, yeah, go find your girl" Steve shoved Bucky off the mat with a grin. Bucky jogged off to the lab right after a shower, purposely throwing on a new pair of his snug joggers. He smirked as he walked in seeing you fully focused on a small creation Tony created, tinkering away without noticing him.
"Hey doll"
"Ser-sergeant!" You squeaked in surprise as he strode inside, dropping the gadget you were working on, "What can I help you with"
"Sam told me something earlier", Bucky shrugged casually while you stayed frozen in your seat, your heart rate picking up the closer he got. "Was wonderin' if you knew anything about it"
"What's-what's that" You fidgeted nervously, his baby blues staring at you intently, loving how flustered you looked.
"Someone said something about me having a cute butt"
"Oh" You looked like deer in headlights, wishing the ground would swallow you whole.
"Oh?" Bucky smirked while you hid your face in your hands, ready to sink to the floor and hide under the table, he must have thought you were such a pervert. "And something about slutty thighs-
"Not just your butt! All-all of you is cute all over" You squeaked out before slapping a hand over your mouth realizing you were making it worse.
"All of me, huh" Bucky pried your hand away from your face, cupping your cheek instead, the cool metal of his arm soothing your hot skin. "So you do think I have a cute butt and slutty thighs"
His thumb came up to pull your bottom lip away from where it was caught between your teeth, smiling at the little nod you gave him, too scared to open your mouth.
"Well I'm glad"
"Y-you are?" You shyly whispered, nearly whining when he brought his other hand to hold your face gently, his lips brushing against yours.
"Mhm, means I can do this" You went limp in his hold, every muscle in your body turning into mush as he kissed your lips sweetly, the gentle peck feeling like he'd stolen your breath away. "Don't faint on me sweets" Bucky chuckled as he pulled away, seeing the dazed look on your face.
"Such a cute butt" You whispered to yourself, eyes growing wide when you realized you said that out loud. You buried yourself in his chest making Bucky grin, kissing the top of your head.
"Want to grab coffee with my cute butt?" Bucky tipped your chin up to look at him, "I'll even bring my slutty thighs" He threw in with a wink.
"Promise?" You giggled while he slipped in his hand in yours, leading you towards the door.
"Scouts honor, doll"
#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky fluff#bucky barns imagine#bucky barnes x shy reader#bucky barnes x fanfic#bucky banres x freader#bucky x you#marvel fanfiction#marvel fanfic#avengers fluff#avenger fanfiction#avengers fanfiction#avengers fanfic#marvel fic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky fanfic#bucky fan fiction#bucky fan fic#james bucky buchanan barnes
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Preying on you tonight
Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: werewolf!Song Mingi x vampire!female reader
⯠Warning: smut, cursing, alcohol consumption, violence, bullying (nothing extreme), saying wet dog as an insult, mentions of injury and blood ⯠Word count: 29k ⯠Rating: mature, nc-17 ⯠Genre: supernatural creatures!au, academy!au, werewolf!au, vampire!au, enemies to lovers!au, mates!au ⯠Summary: Nocturnal Parade was a safe haven for creatures like yourself, vampires, and for creatures like Mingi, werewolves. After a misfortunate event, you come to hate the other kind with your whole being despite having to live in unity and peace. What happens after a drunken night spent with your enemy, a night which changes everything for forever?
A/N: Hello, lovelies!! Surprise, another Mingi oneshot! (because the brainrot is at its peak and I'm a Mingtis *cries*) I'd like to point out a few things before you start reading the story:
âŠÂ 1. I did a different take on vampires and both werewolves here, let's say, it's my version of these creatures mixed with all the lore I know about them.
âŠÂ 2. Please, please, please, imagine Halazia Era Mingi while reading this!!! And Deja Vu Era Yunho!
âŠÂ 3. This is important! For the sake of the story, the siblings are all called Song, after Mingi's surname! (I didn't mention it in the story, but Mingi's fur is white!)
âŠÂ 4. Yes, I used Katherine's surname because I have an unhealthy obsession with her and because Y/N's character was partially inspired by her. (my TVD lovers know)
Also, I feel like I accidentally made a lot of puns in the story, so don't mind me lol. I think that's all for now, and I'm veery excited to hear your thoughts about this story, so your feedback is very welcomed! I hope you enjoy it, and happy reading now! ^^
Taglist: @orshii @sharksandminhos @cheolliehugs @dollce-exe @kikiskz
⯠You can now find Yunho's story here! ^^
           Creatures like ourselves needed a safe haven away from the looming, close-minded, humans roaming the streets of cities, constantly pondering whether theyâd fall victim next in our sharp claws. Their view of us was rather cartoonish, and disfigured, and we could only thank all those made-up legends for scaring humans away from peculiar creatures, like ourselves. We were nowhere close to being the scary monsters parents warn their children of in the bedtime stories they tell them, however, we could be dangerous if provoked and forced into an uncanny situation.
Communities have been formed a long time ago, altogether with a treaty, in hopes of making peace between the supernatural creatures roaming the same Earth as humans. However, most still didnât take kindly of us, and therefore, we were forced out of their circles, made to fend for ourselves on our own. Laws werenât abiding at first, quite deceitful when it came to the rights night creatures had, but after the Raging Revolution, everything changed. Humans became less animus towards us and finally started acknowledging us, step by step setting up things for us, allowing us to join their circles, of course, in a restricting and well-supervised manner. Therefore, after a party has been formed in order to defend our rights and fight for the future of the night creatures, a clergy was founded with it simultaneously, trying to prove to the humans that we were just like them, albeit a little rough and more menacing. We had the same beating hearts, the same iron and hot blood gushing through our veins; we werenât indestructible either, and most of all, we needed the same resources as them. With the creation of the clergy, it had seemed that the humans had finally settled down, accepting us fully into their society. They remained cold to us, but they werenât so rude and threatening anymore about their ideologies and beliefs.
This gave us the opportunities to finally meddle with them, to freely follow their footsteps, establishing a lifestyle similar to theirs. We were allowed inside their cities and towns, offered jobs and given permission to step inside the same buildings as them. Society was finally progressing after decades of oppression and pain, the night creatures were somewhat finally free from the clutches of their oppressors, living the lives our ancestors have fought so hard for. However, that did not mean that everything was joint, or that you didnât have the choice of living secluded in the safety of your own kind. My parents have chosen to raise me up far away from the rambunctious big cities, instead settling in a heavily protected town, infused by only night creatures on the outskirts of the Haunted Woods, South from anything lively. But just because humans were scarce here, did not mean that our lives were quiet and boring. It was far from it. My life was anything but boring, childhood filled with mischief and misbehavior as I was always allowed to do whatever I wanted.
Perhaps it was the privilege of having extremely rich parents, being the descendent of a bloodline so ancient that I would get a headache trying to remember every family member that was still alive whenever we would gather for our annual new year celebratory balls. Raised in lavish and puff, I was content with the way things were, and I had no intentions of moving out of Nocturnal Parade anytime soon, if ever at all. My family had settled down here in 1250, and only those curious and adventure seeking ventured far from our homeland, sometimes returning with the promise of never wanting to join the human joint cities, with others never returning, calling our safe haven a lie and depraved of everything else the ârealâ world had to offer us. To my parents joy, I had no such intentions, content with the Petrova familyâs fortune and assets, rightfully so wanting to join the family business.
The Petrova bloodline had been around far before records were even made of humankind, they have survived plagues, wars, treason and disasters, always returning stronger and stronger, their names present in history books, marking historic events and building a community that welcomed any and all kinds of night creatures, not once discriminating anyone. There wasnât an anarchy when it came to us, creatures, everyone was equal. Thatâs what the clergy preached and instilled in each one of us, however, I couldnât help but harbor hard feelings against one kind, werewolves, more exactly. I most probably wouldnât have had any problems against them, but an unfortunate event seemed to mark me for life, and I would carry it on with myself until the end of Earth. There was nothing and no one that could change my mind about those wild, feracious, and obnoxious animals. Even if the clergy said hating one kind meant being just the same as the humans were once towards us, I couldnât help myself. Hating someone was not a crime, and with the deep webbed hatred in myself, not even the clergy could stop me from sending glares at those wet dogs, whispering threats at them, or making their days a living hell at our Academy.
Wilden Pine Academy was a place for Vampires and Werewolves; however, the occasional Fae and Druids would make their appearance as well. Nocturnal Parade was famous for its large population of Vampires and Werewolves alike; therefore it came as no surprise that the Academy closest to our town was littered with both kinds. A four-hour drive, deep into the Pinecone Forest, and youâd be presented with our majestic Academy, its towers high and dark for vampires not keen of sunlight, and fields widely expanding, perfect for the ever loud and restless werewolves. This place was made to bring everyone together, to strengthen the bond between the two kinds, their animosity against each other quite famous, well-known even between mere humans. And it seemed that Wilden Pine Academy did an extraordinary job at bringing vampires and werewolves to a truce, to control the deep-rooted hatred for each other, and to forge an alliance that became nondestructive over the decades as both remained on the front, fighting for the night creaturesâ rights and lives. Not that those stupid history books could dictate how I would feel about such wild creatures.
The Academy was serene, with eager and passionate professors all around, spreading their knowledge about anything supernatural or quite mundane. Our curriculums were closely constructed in a way that would allow us to learn everything we needed to know about ourselves and our history, but also about the humans and their atrocious self-destructive stories. The grounds were separated in two, left wing for the vampires, and for the occasional fae folk, right wing for the werewolves and their little druid friends that would show up uninvited. Of course, there were more common grounds than one could possibly imagine here at Wilden Pine Academy, the academics following the clergyâs words like the Holy Grail. Everyone must be united at all times, discrimination between kinds to be severely punished, following the laws of the Night Creatures Rule Book. One of these said common grounds was quite unfortunately the study hall, which was open at all times, and warmly welcomed anyone who wished to catch up on their projects and homework. The separation between these two kinds was only ever present in my own mind, casting a glance upon the vast study hall, youâd realize that nobody cared who sat next to them as long as they didnât bother them. Vampires next to werewolves were a common sighting, yet I couldnât bring myself to stay in their vicinity for longer than three minutes. And even like that, I was being generous. I always made sure to pick the furthest table from those animals in the study hall, and was rather thankful that they werenât stupid enough to approach my table. It didnât take two brain cells to know I hated werewolves, and therefore, for most part they left me alone. Not that anyone had anything to say against a Petrova, now Bae, having changed our family name after the revolution due to some legal issues amongst the humankind.
People who usually came to the study hall did so because they wished to have a relaxed ambience around themselves, not quite as restrictive as the library as here you could eat, drink, and chat with your friends freely, without anyone giving you the stink eye or the librarian breathing down your neck to reprimand you. With that being said, the study hall had a friendly atmosphere made for the Academyâs students to be able to study in peace, which presented to be harder and harder to do with seconds ticking by. Of course, when a certain five wet dogs would show up, the quiet and peace wouldnât even last for one second. Despite their table being towards the middle of the large room, and my own table towards the back, close to the large bookcases, their loud howls and laughter carried over. It blew my mind how nobody even as much as glanced their way or said anything to quieten their table down. Everyone seemed content with the ruckus they were creating, and it made my blood boil even more that I couldnât be as unbothered as the rest of the creatures around me. But perhaps if it was a bunch of vampires being rascals, I also wouldnât have batten an eyelash in their direction, but this was the Song family. A family I hated with my whole being, the five creatures having risen from Hell itself, marched all the way to Wilden Pine Academy to reign chaos upon its once peaceful grounds. I never thought a body could yield such strong emotions, until I met the Song boys, and girls as well, their disgusting scent alone driving me up the wall. Especially of one certain person, who smelled like an actual wet dog, mixed with fresh grass that would make anyone gag. His scent was just as atrocious as his existence, making me grit my teeth whenever I was in the vicinity of him. Which happened more often than I would have liked it to.
The Song twins, unfortunately, had been part of my life ever since I was eight years old. Not by choice, of course. If I couldâve, I wouldâve eradicated their existence a very long time ago. The Songâs werenât native to Nocturnal Parade, they have moved into our safe haven just before our first academic year would start, coating the town in chaos like never seen before. They were well-known for being loud and eccentric, their parents just as much of a bother as their children were. And there were five of them, five horrific werewolves, howling and cackling every time youâd cross their paths. Song Mingi and Song Yunho were not your identical twins, however, they did seem to resemble each other in more ways than others. Both were tall, boisterous, loud, and hyperactive to a point where once Yunho had to be sedated as he wouldnât stop running around the fields before curfew. Despite Yunho being the louder twin, Mingi wasnât far behind, his personality more irritating than the older twinâs one. He never failed to drop whatever he carried in his hands, bumping into anything possible as if his coordination was offânot that I had expected anything more from a filthy dog. And despite being similar, they were quite easily very different when it came to their styles. Yunho, ever colorful and peculiar when choosing his attire, his black hair highlighted with fiery red highlights, nails always painted either turquoise or yellow, and shoes mismatching for whatever mysterious reason that I really wasnât curious about. Mingi, however, only wore dark clothes, with the occasional odd white colored graphic t-shirtsâor that one funky white jacket with a bunny on itâalways heavily littered with silver jewelry around his neck, wrists, and fingers, his nails never bare, always tinted black or chrome silver.
Both Yunho and Mingi had a phase, back when we were all fourteen, when they have started heavily smudging their eyes with black kohl eyeliner, always looking like pandas after we had to run around the flower fields while it rained heavily. It seemed that only Mingi stuck with the makeup, Yunho opting to experiment with different lip colors, weirdly sticking to a dark purple or light pink one for most times. I never allowed myself to ponder too much about their preferences, the twins a sighting everyone found odd at times, perhaps even intriguing as they seemed to have personalities that was liked by the masses, giving me a headache whenever I saw creatures flocking around them, vampires and werewolves alike, desperate for some attention from them.
But if having the Song twins a constant in my life until I would graduate from the Academy was bad, I really had no idea what more this family had in store for me. With the appearance of their younger brother, Wooyoung, I finally learned what absolute and utter chaos and madness meant, the boy a spawn of Satan himself, sent to destroy anything in its wake. The boy was a werewolf, yet he cackled like an old, evil, witch, his dark eyes staring into yours as if he wanted to suck your soul out. And he was cocky, way too confident in himself, perhaps a defective trait he learned from Mingi, who wasnât lacking in the ego department either. And when I thought I was finally safe of that horrible family, two more additions of the family showed up at the Academy, two girls, their sisters. Yeri, who was three years younger than the twins and one year younger than Wooyoung, was a deceitful girl. Her angelic face had fooled everyone at first, sweet smile and soft giggles quickly making everyone fall for her charm naively. But that girl was another spawn of Satan, the biggest troublemaker dated at the Academy so far, every professorâs nightmare from the very first class she attended, successfully blowing up a frog to everyoneâs horror, only giggling when brought to the Principleâs office, saying that she hadnât seen the instructions in her book and decided to improvise. And if the family wasnât complete already, their youngest sibling also showed up at the Academy, and she was the oddest of them all. Dahyun never really spoke until she felt the need to. Her face a constant mask of blankness, lips downturned and eyebrows furrowed. Sheâd hold eye contact with anyone who looked her way, and smile almost threateningly when they averted their eyes disturbed by her emotionlessness. She often whispered to herself and, to my utmost horror, I was unfortunate enough to catch her speaking to the air once I was out in the fields with a fae friend, whispering about some dead animal she had found a day ago. Three were rascals and two were possible future murderers, werenât they a wonderful family?
My fist tightened, fingers flexing around the pencil I held in my hand, lower lip sucked in as my glare settled upon the loud Song table, blood boiling, and ears ringing from oversensitivity as I struggled blocking out their voices. Wooyoung had been cackling like a madman for over thirty minutes now, Yunho also constantly giggling as they were hunched over a book, scribbling in it furiously and snickering every time Yeri tried to see what they were doing. Mingi seemed to be the only one doing his homework, however, he would contribute to the mess by his own loud, irritating, laughter, unless he was pestering Dahyun about eating something, throwing chips at his younger sisterâs face. The girl sat unmoving in her chair, staring ahead at one fixed point, her eyes slowly shifting onto Mingi every so often, almost smiling at him when Mingi was too busy furrowing his eyebrows as he probably struggled solving his homework. There was a knock against the wooden table, and my eyes finally snapped away from the distasteful scene, falling on my fae friend.
âYour homework wonât solve itself, Y/N.â Krystal, the Fae with undying beauty and velvety voice, said with a chuckle. Perhaps she was the least judgmental in our four-member friend group, always kind to others, and way too understanding.
âI canât work when itâs so loud in here,â I said with a sigh, twirling my pencil around my fingers as I looked at my unfinished potion for Alchemy disheartened.
âTry blocking them out,â Krystal said with an encouraging smile as she patted my cold hand twice.
âEasy for you to say,â Seulgi hissed, turning back in her seat to glare at the Song family, âwhen you donât have heightened hearing.â
Krystal chuckled, eyeing Irene for a second, who seemed unbothered as she sat next to Seulgi, head buried in her book, âIrene seems pretty unbothered.â
âThatâs because I am.â Ireneâs voice was lighter, a little on the shrill side, yet strong as she snapped. She looked up, amused for a second, before she placed her hand on Seulgiâs thigh, giving it a squeeze. I watched the action without saying much, but feeling suspicious of them lately.
âTheyâve been in here for more than two hours and havenât shut up for once, for fuckâs sake.â Seulgi gritted through teeth, the only one in our friend group who shared a hatred with me towards the Song family. Perhaps a failed relationship and broken promises lead to her current emotions towards the five people, but I wasnât one to pry if she didnât want to talk about it.
âYou tell me,â I muttered, eyes falling back on their table, Mingi leaned over it and shoving chips forcefully in Dahyunâs mouth as she had opened it, only to bite down hard on Mingiâs thumb. Perhaps that was funny as I chuckled, trying to mask it with a huff, until the first spawn of Satan suddenly jumped up on the table, making my jaw drop.
âAhoy, everyone get on board!â He shouted at the top of his lungs, finally everyone in the study hall looking at Wooyoung, âThis ship is about to sail outside, whoâs with me?!â
To my utmost disgust, there were people who cheered and suddenly approached the Song familyâs table, jumping up and making sounds inadequate for such setting. They were howling, like dogs. I took in a deep breath, but couldnât control my rage as it finally burst from all the irritation I had bottled up since the morning class I had to share with the twins, forced to sit next to Mingi by the professor, âOkay, thatâs it. I need to leave.â
My friends looked at me, and Seulgi nodded as she started packing up, âFuck, same. Iâm about to bite Yunhoâs throat off.â
Irene quirked an eyebrow at her friend, but said nothing, just chuckled. My hands shook as I pushed my chair back forcefully, making it screech loudly against the floor, yet the ruckus Wooyoung had created was overbearing, and nobody even heard my chair falling to the floor. I grabbed the two books I had picked in order to inspire me for my potion, and turned to head towards the bookcases. Krystal had an apologetic smile on her face as she raised one hand, âI think I will stay; I still need to finish my project.â
âThatâs alright.â Irene said with a reassuring smile, her stoic expression instantly melting, âI also want to read some more. Should we head to a smaller table?â
âSure!â Krystal grinned and both girls started packing their things as Seulgi and I made eye contact, her cheeks red.
âDo you mind if I wait for you outside?â Her voice sounded strained and I shook my head no, knowing that she was on the verge of snapping. Not that I was far off from doing the same. I picked my previously fallen chair up, and placed it back on its feet before taking off towards the very last bookcase, the returning band being placed there. Despite knowing where I took my books from, I found it only logical to place them on the return band, hence why it was put there. I bypassed a vampire staring at one of the bookshelves, almost crashing into them when they stepped backward, thankful to my quick reflexes as I avoided colliding into them. I gave them a glare as I continued walking, hurrying when the cheers of Wooyoung and those having joined him had gotten louder, making my jaw tighten as I sucked in another deep breath, ears ringing from the commotion. There were some days when I woke up overstimulated and sensitive to everyone around me. Even the softest of sighs could make my ears ring and bring forward a migraine, and today was one of those days, and the Song family made sure to worsen my symptoms with their loud antics.
I finally reached the band at the end of the bookcase, and neatly placed the two books on top of other ones, to be sorted and placed on their respective shelves later. A particular loud shriek made my body tense as it felt like a vein was close to popping in my forehead, head thumping, forcing my eyes squeezed shut. I took a second to regain my composure, gulping hard, and inhaling deeply, almost choking on the wet dog smell invading my senses. It took everything in me not to gag, and as I turned to speed walk out of this wrenched place, I crashed harshly against another hard body. They gasped loudly, books tumbling to the floor. As the smell got prominent, I jumped back upon realizing it was Mingi who had ran into me. My eyes instantly narrowed, piercing on Mingi as he looked at his feet almost defeated, five books laying scattered around him. His blonde hair with fading red at the ends was long, and in a half-up ponytail, with the front strands framing his sharp features, his thick eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at me.
âHey, next timeââ
âWatch where you go, dog.â I hissed, voice low and threatening, âIâm sick of you always stumbling into me.â
Mingiâs eyebrows raised in disbelief and he scoffed, âYou crashed into me, Y/N, not me into you.â
âRight,â I snapped, rolling my eyes, âbecause I could have possibly seen thereâs someone behind me to purposefully run into them.â
âDonât you have heightened senses for a reason?â Mingi mocked as he crouched down to gather his books, making me look down at him, glare furious.
âAll my heightened senses are good for when youâre around is to smell the wet dog stench you carry with yourself.â I scoffed, quirking an eyebrow at Mingi as he paused for a second, raising his head slowly to look at me. His expression seemed to suddenly shift, eyes narrowing as he let the books stumble to the floor again.
âExcuse me?â His deep voice dropped even lower, raspy in its undertone as his jaw clenched.
âIâm sick of you and your inept family always creating a scene wherever you are,â I snapped, leaning down slightly as Mingiâs eyes slowly seemed to darken, pupils blown wide, âAlways screaming, shouting, acting like delinquents, bothering absolutely everyone around yourselves.â
Mingi stood, looming over my form with his tall body, lips pulled into a sneer, âLittle miss princess wants to teach me and my inept family some etiquette, when she canât even bring her books back to their own places?â
I gulped, scoffing as I felt my blood pumping faster, harder, when Mingiâs eyes suddenly flashed their menacing orchid color. His wolf was probably fighting to come forward, but it looked like Mingi was trying to suppress it, âThis band is here for a reason, Mingi. Lord knows you and your inept family need that etiquette lesson. Perhaps it would finally give you some sense, perhaps youâd finally realize you have no place at Wilden Pine Academy and Nocturnal Paradeââ
My heated words were cut off by a loud gasp as I was slammed into the bookshelves behind me in the blind of an eye, hard wood digging into my spine as a strong grip curled around my left bicep tightly, claws almost piercing my skin. Mingiâs eyes shone a bright orchid, and his fangs suddenly grew as he hissed lowly, lowering his head to the point that it was in my face, mere centimeters away from my own. My body reacted instantly, freezing in shock, starting to tremble as my heart thumped wildly in my chest. I tried to fight the flashbacks, but the stronger Mingiâs grip got, the more frozen to my spot I was. I could picture Mingi shifting into his werewolf form, easily ripping me in half, the Petrova bloodline lost without me. We could only reproduce once.
âMingiââ I gasped when I felt claws pressing into my flesh, making my eyes widen greatly. All of my heightened senses and strength was forgotten in that moment, body trembling uncontrollably. I was frozen to my spot, shaking eyes boring into Mingiâs orchid ones, throat constricting to the point I couldnât breathe anymore. I struggled in gathering myself, my trauma response stronger than my will to push Mingi off myself and rip him in two. I was good under pressure, I rarely panicked and I prided myself for being level-headed, until a werewolf had me in its clutches, ready to end my life. I tried to take a ragged breath, and Mingi suddenly growled, something warm trickling down my upper arm. Frozen in terror, I could see this moment would be my demise, until suddenly voices flooded my ears, sounding rapid and panicked.
âGet him off, Yunho!â Still in a haze, mind jumbled, I realized slowly that Irene was shrieking next to me, suddenly cradling my head against her chest, but my eyes were on Mingiâs, who was trembling as well, but in anger.
âMingi!â Yunho exclaimed, grabbing his twinâs face in both hands, yanking his head to the side as Mingi and I finally broke eye contact, âRelease her, right now.â
Mingi didnât budge for another minute, and I gasped when I felt my skin painfully pierced by his claws, but then it all suddenly stopped as Mingi jumped backwards, eyes wide as he looked around frantically. His orchid eyes flicked back to their usual warm brown tone, fangs still poking through his plump lips. Without Mingi caging me against the bookshelves, I crumbled into Ireneâs arms, hyperventilating as my bicep pulsed, the painful sting clouding my vision with tears.
âGo away.â Yunhoâs voice was stern as I squeezed my eyes shut, thankful for Ireneâs comforting embrace as she quietly shushed me, petting my head. She was smaller than me, but her body was strong and firm, holding me captive in a motherly manner against herself. I took deep breaths, taking notice of Mingiâs scent disappearing, only Yunhoâs remaining, who didnât stink as badly of wet dog like Mingi.
âIâm sorry,â Suddenly, I felt Yunhoâs eyes on me, and I gently pushed Irene away, wiping at my face, âThe full moon is close and itâs always hard for Mingi to control his anger around this time. Iâd like to apologize on his behalfââ
âStay away from me!â I snapped, hissing at Yunho menacingly, my eyes shining scarlet, âAll of you filthy dogs!â
Abandoning my things, which were least of my worries now, I stormed away from everyone in the study hall, out through the wide doors, having a bewildered Seulgi race after me upon noticing me. My body shook as I carefully wrapped my right hand around my bicep, biting my lower lip as it started trembling, the faded old bite mark suddenly pulsating violently, memories of that repressed day resurfacing, feeling that excruciating pain all over again. I paid no mind to the blood trickling down my arm as Seulgi fussed behind me panicked, asking question after question. I ignored her and sped up, wanting to be alone for the time being. For at least until I calmed down and repressed those awful snarls, sharp fangs and thick fur flashing behind my eyes. I hated werewolves with a passion, and nothing could change my mind about them.
           Hours later, I have finally calmed down enough to leave my room and head to the canteen designed for Vampires to do my daily feed as I have skipped it this morning, having accidentally slept in. The hallways were warmly lit up, yet rather cold as the breeze wandered inside through the small cracks in the stone walls or through the opened windows. Night had fallen upon us, and everyone was finishing up their business as curfew came closer and closer. Thankfully there was no sign of the Song family through my journey to the canteen and back to my room, I donât think I wouldâve been able to even as much as look at them without wanting to rip their heads off. I had to bandage my arm after cleansing it thoroughly, since the wound was made by a werewolf it would take a day or two to fully heal, no matter how little the injury. I knew everyone heard about our little scene in the study hall as I was given inquisitive looks, only for me to ignore them as I held my head even higher, glaring at anyone who wouldnât look away after the first poisonous look I sent their way.
Irene wasnât in our room when I returned, but there was a small note on her bed saying that she would return late, and that I shouldnât stay up and wait for her as she had taken our key to the room. She never explained where she disappeared to so late in the night, and I never bothered to ask, knowing well that Irene wouldnât tell me anything, unless she was certain of whatever was going on between her and the suspected person I had in mind. That being Seulgi. Ever since her and Yunho broke up, Ireneâs been breathing down her neck and it wasnât difficult to spot the subtle changes in their friendship. The lasting stares, the subconscious touches, always looking for the other in overcrowded areas. The signs were there, but perhaps I was just reading too much into things. Seulgi needed someone whoâd fully support her after the break up as she was struggling with accepting the way things ended between her and Yunho as he seemed quite unphased by it all. It was a saddening view, to see Seulgi suffer so much, mop around all day and cry even at the mention of said werewolfâit only made me hate the Song twins more. They only brought trouble and headache wherever they went, breaking hearts left and right.
I sighed as I opened the window to let some fresh air in, noticing a small letter placed on the windowsill outside. Upon noticing the emblem binding the envelope together, I quickly reached for it and delicately opened it, being presented with my motherâs fancy handwriting, just like I have expected. I sighed and leaned against the wall, eyes running over her words as the black ink seemed fresh still.
Dear Y/N,
I hope you are doing well and this letter finds you before Irene can get her hands on it, I know the last one she burned just to force me to call you. But you know I like old fashioned things, my dear, cellphones are simply not up for my taste.
To get to the point, I hope you havenât forgotten about Parentsâ Day approaching rapidly, but in case you have, hereâs your reminder to start getting ready in time, daughter. If you have unpacked your luggage yourself, you must have seen the ruby red dress I have slipped inside it. I hope to see you wearing it, dear, it would bring out your pretty eyes so well. And do not forget, your makeup shouldnât be too harsh, it gives your father a heart attack each time he sees you wearing it.
Granma and grandpa are doing well, actually, they have gone on a trip to the Maldives, said something about buying a vacation house over there so that we can stay there over the summer. Doesnât that sound exciting? Aunt Lannie and Uncle Jaehyun would be joining us as well. Itâs been quite a while since you have seen your cousins, right? How exciting!
I shall be wrapping this letter up now. I look forward to seeing you very soon, my dear, and donât forget to be on your best behavior until then. Iâd hate to get a phone call from the Principal, again, about you setting on fire one of the Song children. Mother and father loves you much!
Yours sincerely,
Petrova Yurim
I chewed on my bottom lip as I finished reading my motherâs letter, closing the window and sauntering over to my bed, dropping down on it as my grip tightened around the letter. Parentsâ Day was in two days and I was far from ready for it. I have seen the dress in my luggage my mother was talking about, but I sincerely wouldâve preferred not wearing it as it was a rather old dress, very out of trend as of right now. But I knew my motherâs heart would break if I didnât wear it for her, and I closed my eyes as I fell back on my bed, wondering how I could modify it a little bit so that it would fit my style. My choice of makeup was never âheavyâ, but my father never seemed to understand that a little eyeliner, mascara, and red lips didnât mean the Earth was ending.
My parents have always been strict and quite demanding when it came to their preferences, rarely lenient about whatever I wanted for myself. After a while, I just learned to go with the flow and follow their teachings and words, knowing very well that once I was away from them I could do as I wished. Like setting on fire one of the Song children. To be fair, it was an accident, and it happened one year ago when we were in Alchemy class, the only class where pure chaos would ensue each time without any doubt. Yunho and Mingi had been sitting in front of me and Seulgi, loudly giggling and chatting about something completely irrelevant to our lesson, distracting me, which lead to a mild arsoning incident. I had dropped the match I had just lit up when Yunho suddenly cheered loudly, the match falling on Mingiâs chair, the long fluffy cardigan he had been wearing catching on fire. At first, I thought it would just stop burningânot one of my wisest thoughtsâbut it only flamed up, making Mingi yelp and Yunho shout in panic as they jumped up from their seats, frantically wrestling Mingi out of his cardigan before it could do any real damage to the werewolf. It was a rather hilarious sight, and instead of panicking and trying to help them put out the small fire, I sat cackling and high-fiving SeulgiâŠwhich, of course, caught the attention of our Professor, thus I had no choice but to admit my mistake to the Principal. I wasnât punished for it, but Yunho would growl at me for a whole month if we were close enough to each other that his scent bothered me, and Mingi would just glare, keeping away for the most part. It had been the best month of my life; I wish it wouldâve lasted for longer.
Suddenly the door of my room slamming open made me jump, alerting me to my surroundings as I had been lost in thought, unaware of an approaching Seulgi. She skipped inside with a huge grin on her face, dumping her bag on the floor and jumping on my bed, almost crushing my knee. I yelped and rolled over just in time, which apparently was an open invitation for Seulgi to cuddle me. I grumbled as her arms wrapped around my middle, her head nuzzling against my back with a giggle.
âWhat are you doing?â I asked with an amused huff, trying to pry her arms off me.
âI need some love,â Seulgi muttered, kicking my leg when I dug my nails into her skin, âOw, just because weâre vampires doesnât mean that doesnât hurt!â
âGet off,â I laughed, rolling onto my back, forcing her to release me, âI donât like cuddling.â
âYouâre the worst.â Seulgi pouted, glaring as we turned our heads to face each other. I rolled my eyes, disregarding my letter onto my bedside table before settling back down.
âI thought you were with Irene.â I muttered, raising an eyebrow. Seulgi shook her head no and pursed her lips.
âHavenât seen her since the study hall, she was really pissed.â Seulgi explained, turning onto her back as she stared up at the white ceiling of my shared room with Irene, âIt wouldnât come as a surprise if Mingi was found ripped in half somewhere.â
I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest, âIf Mingi dies, it better be by my hands and not anyone elseâs.â
Seulgi snickered, raising an eyebrow, âWould you really kill him?â
I pondered for a second, eyebrows furrowing. Was I really capable of hurting someone to the point it would cause their death? Not exactly. Did Song Mingi piss me off so much that I have envisioned myself ripping him up into tiny particles, never to be seen again? Well, yes.
âNo.â I settled with my answer, sighing loudly as Seulgi hummed, silence falling over us as there was a quiet rumble in the sky, further somewhere. A storm was coming.
âThis took a dark turn, anyways,â Seulgi chuckled, sitting up and grinning down at me, âdid you know about the bonfire happening tomorrow night?â
âFirst time I hear about it.â I grinned as I looked up at Seulgi, knowing where this conversation was leading to.
âWell then,â She wiggled her eyebrows, âYou better get ready to attend another legendary party! The werewolves got the Principal to drop the curfew for the seniors tomorrow night, and weâve got the whole lake house to ourselves!â
âWhat?â I asked surprised, eyes widening. Well, that was something. The lake house was off limits, unless we were supervised or had swimming classes.
âYeah, cool stuff, isnât it?â Seulgi nudged my thigh with her elbow, âYou have to admitâŠthese wet dogs are good for something, sometimes.â
My eyebrows furrowed as I shot Seulgi a glare, the faded bite mark and fresh wound on my left bicep suddenly pulsing in pain, âNever. They are the worst and theyâll always be. They shouldnât even exist.â
âOkay,â Seulgi drew the word out, giving me an exasperated look, âbefore you start ranting about why vampires are superior and why werewolves shouldâve been eradicated a long time ago, Iâm going to dip!â
âLeaving so soon?â I asked with a pout as I watched Seulgi get off my bed.
âYeah, unless weâre having a sleepover, I have to reach my own room before the curfew.â Seulgi said as she grabbed her bag and adjusted her hair in the mirror.
âIreneâs bed is free for the night, sheâs not sleeping here, I think.â I muttered absentmindedly.
âOh, I know.â Seulgi winked as my eyes narrowed at her, and then she was gone, slipping through the door, and skidding down the hallway outside of my room, her light footsteps loud to my sensitive ears. Tomorrowâs party came in handy; I really needed a drink after today. I couldnât help but fall back into my bed with a loud huff, forcing my eyes shut when my scar started pulsing harsher, the claw marks left by Mingi fresh and just a reminder of that horrific night I was forced to live through so many years ago. And if the universe was against me, howls of those wrenched creatures traveled all the way inside my room, terrifying and loud, covering my skin in goosebumps. I truly hated those awful creatures of the night.
           My hand clenched and unclenched above the tray of food placed in front of myself as I reached for the cold-water bottle, jaw clenched as the skin of my right hand burned with each jerk of my raw skin. I have been injured, again, by Song Mingi. It all happened this morning, in Alchemy. Our professor loves switching up seatmates every few days, therefore I cannot escape the wrath of having to sit next to Song Mingi for a totality of an hour and thirty minutes. Every Alchemy class had been a nightmare when we were seated next to each other, but perhaps todayâs was the worst of all as Mingi managed to burn my skin with hot, sizzling, lead. Despite being a vampire, it was the second most painful thing Iâve felt so far, and it made my blood boil as the table the Songâs were sitting at was the loudest in the vast cafeteria. These idiots were enjoying their free time, as usual, loudly while bothering everyone around themselves. My eyes fell on Mingi as he threw his head back and wheezed loudly, eyes forced shut and mouth wide open as his body trashed in his seat, hand rubbing his belly as Yunho continued spouting out non-sense at his twin, making Mingi laugh even harder.
I scoffed with a venomous look on my face, unclasping my bottle of water, and taking a long swing of it. The icy water felt refreshing against my dry throat, and after screwing it shut, I placed the bottom of the bottle on top of the healing burn, sighing at the cooling sensation. Because I wasnât feeding as often as I was supposed to, due to personal reasons, my body wasnât healing as fast as it should have been. My senses were all over the place today as well, and it didnât come much of a surprise, when I woke up this morning overstimulated, again, head thumping violently and ears ringing as my neighborâs blaring alarm from three doors down woke me up. Today felt like a total nightmare, and as suddenly Wooyoung started slamming his fists on the table, edging a guy I didnât know on to down some sort of disgusting looking liquid, I felt myself reach my limit again. I groaned, looking away from them, wincing when Wooyoung started cackling loudly, like a witch, followed by Yeriâs very shrill shouts, the sounds too harsh and piercing my sensitive ears.
âI canât fucking stand this.â I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut as I threw the water bottle down on the table harshly, freeing my hands in order to be able to massage my thumping forehead. My migraine was only getting worse.
âMaybe you should try eating something, Y/N.â Ireneâs tone was scolding, and I just shook my head, repulsed just by the thought of eating that disgusting stew placed on the plate in my tray. That was straight up dog food, and I refused to eat it. I was craving blood now more than ever, not disgusting human food.
âIâm not eating thisâglop.â I motioned towards the stew on my plate and Krystal groaned loudly, throwing me a glare.
âThis glop is quite tasty, Y/N, try not to ruin otherâs appetite.â She spoke up with an irritated tone, âThank you.â
I rolled my eyes but decided to shut up, âSorry.â
âYeah, this isnât for my taste either.â It seemed like only Seulgi was on my side, but perhaps that wasnât a surprise anymore. I saw the subtle glances she stole at Yunho, and when she noticed him inhaling his stew like it was the tastiest meal heâd ever had, she made a face and pushed her tray just a little bit away from herself. But in the end, she still gave in and started eating it, albeit grimacing at each spoonful.
âWhy are you eating it then?â Irene asked with a roll of her eyes, pausing to give her friend a glare. I chuckled when Seulgi shrugged, averting her eyes with a blush on her cheeks. I looked down at my hand and flexed my fingers, sighing when the burning feeling intensified. I felt defeated as I leaned back in my chair, realizing that I needed to feed this afternoon too. I couldnât go around without healing my wounds anymore, my parents would be visiting tomorrow and theyâd certainly throw a fit upon noticing the fresh wounds. And thatâs something I didnât wish for at the moment.
âWhat happened to your hand?â Krystal asked with a frown, having finally noticed my pain as I kept wincing and glaring at the red, raw, skin of my right hand.
âAsk Mingi, heâll gladly tell you.â I scoffed, shooting daggers at the back of his head. Almost as if sensing my harsh stare, he paused mid-air as he was raising his spoon to his mouth, and very puppy-like looked around the canteen, searching for someone. That is until his eyes fell on me, and they widened before he whipped his head around, audibly choking on his stew as he started coughing, forcing Dahyun to tap his back with strength a little girl like her shouldnât have.
âThat was interesting.â Krystal muttered as she took a longer glance at Mingi, âAlmost makes me think you cursed him or something.â
âIf I were a witch,â I grinned, looking at Krystal with a malicious glint in my eyes, âI wouldâve gladly done it a long time ago.â
âSo, will you tell us what happened?â Irene spoke up, eyebrows raised as she reminded us of Krystalâs question.
âHe burned my hand, with lead.â I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest while being careful not to touch the raw skin, âWe were supposed to melt lead and mix it with chloride, professor said something about wanting to try and make aurene glass. Guess who decided to fuck up everything? Thatâs right, Song Mingi.â
My jaw clenched as I was taken back to that moment in the classroom, cauldrons steaming and a low murmur echoing around the dark room as everyone conversed with their seatmate, talking about the exercise we were given. Everyone except Mingi and I. We remained silent, a tense silence if I may specify, as the textbook was opened and placed in the middle of the long desk, between the two of us. It served like an unspoken barrier, yet Mingi managed to cross it every time he went to grab something, elbowing me even a few times. I tried to control myself, ears ringing as I could hear his loud heartbeat, my nose crying at the stench of wet dog mixed with fresh grass and perhaps something that oddly smelled like cinnamon. Mingi was fidgety and kept glancing at me from the corner of his eyes, licking his lips every so often. I kept on looking ahead, or at what I was doing, completely ignoring his existence. I wore a sleeveless tank top; therefore my bandages were quite obvious. The wounds have closed up already, but perhaps I wanted to be a little bit dramatic as I knew I had class with the Song twins today. I noticed the way Mingiâs body tensed when his eyes fell on my arm, and Yunho had to grab his shoulder and drag him to their table, muttering something so low into his twinâs ear, that even my sensitive hearing didnât catch it. Not that I was curious.
After the professor assigned Mingi and I as partners, he very begrudgingly trudged over, head hanging low and pouting like a little boy forced to do something he didnât want to. It was almost hilarious that he thought he was the only one not keen of our current predicament, but I certainly wouldnât speak to him first about what has transpired yesterday in the study hall. I organized everything on our table as Mingi took his seat while staring at the table, avoiding eye contact when I directed my sharp gaze on his chiseled face, glaring hard at him.
âThink you can melt the lead?â My tone was snappy and cold as I raised an eyebrow at Mingi, obviously mocking him as I knew he could easily do something so easy.
âOf course, I can.â His tone was hard too as his eyes snapped up, connecting with my gaze, glaring back. I smirked as I pushed the material towards him, motioning with my chin for him to start doing so then, âIâm not your slave.â
âIâm sorry, come again?â I asked with a sweet smile despite having heard his mumbling. Mingi took a deep breath, and I watched as his sharp jaw clenched.
âNothing, if I melt this, you mix it with the chloride, right?â He didnât look at me as he turned on the fire underneath the steel cauldron. I hummed, pretending to think it over as my eyes ran over our textbook despite already knowing the whole process. Alchemy was always my forte, I always studied in advance for it.
âIf Iâll be in the moodââ
âThis is supposed to be teamwork!â Mingi snapped quietly, eyes furious as he turned to face me. His eyebrows furrowed a little and I watched as he took a deep breath, his eyes switching for a second between orchid and their deep brown. My heart stilled, the memory of his claws ripping my skin apart too fresh in my mind as my faded wound started pulsing again. I gulped and sneered at him, leaning just a little bit closer, nose burning from his horrible stench.
âMaybe if you wouldnât have tried killing me yesterday, I would work together with a dog like you.â I hissed, Mingiâs eyes flaring orchid all of a sudden. I stiffened as we stared each other down, faces close to each other, but a few inches in between still.
âIf you think calling me a dog does something to annoy me, youâre wrong, you bloodsucker.â Mingi hissed back and I chuckled, raising an eyebrow at him.
âIs that why youâre losing your cool again?â I mocked, pursing my lips in thought, âYour eyes are a dead giveaway, Mingi.â
âPerhaps you should then know by now to stop.â His voice dropped eerily low, shivers running up all over my arms, âUnless you want a repeat of yesterday.â
My heart stilled for a second and body froze up, mouth opening in shock. I only gaped at Mingi for a second, flabbergasted by the amused smirk on his lips as he stared me down, almost challengingly. But as I went to threaten him back, suddenly Yunho was behind him, large hands grabbing Mingiâs shoulders and yanking him backwards. Mingi just blinked, eyes back to brown, and looked up at his twin innocently. I couldnât help but glare at the two, blood boiling for being rendered speechless by a dog like Mingi.
âI forgot my notebook,â Yunhoâs voice was irritatingly cheery, yet I didnât miss the warning tone in it as he squeezed Mingiâs shoulders, âcan you hand it over, Mingi?â
âItâs not here.â Mingi said with a frown, looking around our shared desk, âItâs in your backpack, Yunho.â
âOh,â Yunho chuckled, scratching the back of his head as he released Mingiâs shoulders, âmy bad, I forgot. Donât cause too much trouble.â
And with a wink, he was gone, but not without stealing a glance at me, eyes narrowing as I rolled mine, turning around to face my notebook. And after that, Mingi and I got to work, wordlessly moving around each other, making sure to never even as much as touch the other, abruptly halting when we noticed the otherâs hand coming closer to our own. Time ticked away and everything was going well, until it wasnât. Until Mingi decided to touch the tube containing the sizzling hot lead with his bare hands, spilling it all over our desk, my notebook, and my hand. I gasped loudly and couldnât help but moan in pain as I shoot up from my seat, clutching my right wrist with my left hand as I squeezed my eyes shut in pain, hearing the professor race over as he shouted at Mingi to get the lead wipes, tissues specifically made for lead removal. The professor carefully pushed me back into my chair and took my hand into his hands, inspecting the skin closely as Mingi crashed into the table with the lead wipes in his hands. The impact sent the other tubes tumbling to the ground, but everyone ignored the sound of breaking glass as suddenly Mingi was all up in my personal space, looming over me as he clumsily handed the professor a wipe. I hissed as the professor removed the hot lead from my skin, biting my lower lip as it started burning instantly, the pain bearable, but strong.
âThankfully the damage isnât too bad or harsh,â The professor said as he raised my hand and inspected it from closer, âSince youâre a vampire it will heal by tomorrow, but I advise feeding and getting a lot of sleep tonight.â
Sleep, which I wonât be getting because of the bonfire party tonight, âThank you, professor.â
He hummed before turning his stern gaze on Mingi, releasing my hands and placing them on his hips, a scolding following, âAnd you, young man. Youâre always breaking and spilling stuff in my class, this has become unacceptable, Song Mingi. You couldâve seriously injured your classmate. I cannot accept clumsy students to my classes, Iâm afraid I will have to talk to the Principal about your future in my classroom.â
âBut, Professorââ However, before Mingi could even defend himself, Yunho was by his side, smiling sweetly at the professor. Of course, he would speak up for Mingi, always the knight in shining armor, acting as if Mingi didnât have a tongue, a mouth, and a brain. But perhaps thatâs why he was speaking up for Mingi, because he didnât have all those.
âProfessor, Mingi really needs this class in his curriculum.â Yunho started with a soft voice, âAnd the full moon is almost here, he gets stressed and unfocused around this time of the month. I can assure you that something like this wonât happen again, Professor, even if Mingi is clumsy.â
The professor sighed, rubbing his forehead, looking tired all of a sudden. And it was just the morning. I rolled my eyes when I saw the professor nod his head silently, fixing Mingi with a stern glare, âAlright, young man, get yourself together if this truly is caused by the upcoming full moon. I donât see other wolves acting out, perhaps a counselor could help with your struggles. I will let you off this one time, but you better clear up all that broken glass!â
And just like that, Mingi was let off, and Yunho stood grinning next to his twin, both of them bowing and thanking the professor profusely. I had scoffed loudly, shaking my head as I have started putting my things away, completely ignoring the twins staring as I stormed out of the classroom, not before whirling my destroyed notebook at Mingi, who caught it with a huff as it slammed against his chest.
My eyes snapped back onto the Song table, brought back from my memory as they cheered loudly, while someone sat next to Wooyoung kept throwing grapes in his mouth, cackling at the same time. I closed my eyes with a loud groan, all three girls looking at me with amused expressions. And if this day couldnât have gotten worse, as I opened my eyes, I was met with a stone faced Hongjoong storming past our table, throwing a piercing stare at me. I rolled my eyes and slid a little lower in my chair, the girls chuckling around me as they watched Hongjoong sit at a table with a very elegant and handsome vampire.
âHeâs still butthurt?â Seulgi asked with a chuckle, watching Hongjoong behind me.
âWouldnât you also be?â Irene scoffed, throwing a glare at Seulgi, âY/N literally dumped him after half a year of dating, because she found out he wasnât rich.â
âWell, if he wouldnât have lied to me from the very beginning,â I said with a scoff, giving them a look, âI wouldnât have dated him for half a year, even. You know my parents would flip out if I didnât date someone our caliber.â
âSure, keep telling yourself that.â Krystal snorted, making me look at her questioningly, âWhat? You always blame your parents for the way you are, but you fail to realize itâs just you, not your parents.â
âSure, Krystal,â I snapped, angered by the words of my supposed friend, who shouldâve been on my side, âPlease, do keep a lecture about how I am, and what my parents prefer if you seem to know everything so well about me!â
âWhy are we fighting now?â Seulgi asked exasperated, giving me a tired look, âWhat is the reason for it?â
âI donât know, but Iâve had enough.â I snapped and pushed my chair back, ears ringing as the Song table roared with laughter, the guy sitting beside Wooyoung suddenly jumping up and doing silly dances, âI have a migraine, Iâm not sitting here for a second longer. See yïżœïżœall at the bonfire.â
Before my friends could stop me, I grabbed my tray and walked off, forced to head towards the Song table as I had to return my untouched glop of a stew. I couldnât help but watch Mingi as the sunlight shone inside brightly, falling on his tan skin, his blonde and red hair glinting in the light, which was in a ponytail much like yesterday. His uniform was a little array, the top of his shirt unbuttoned and tie disregarded after our Alchemy class. Of course, he was enjoying life without a care in the world, despite maiming me again, despite causing pain to me again. These bloody werewolves acted like they ruled the world and suffered no consequences when they did something wrong. I scoffed, but smirked a second later as I looked down at my still hot stew, a simple plan formulating in my mind.
It didnât take long to reach their table, and to my âhorrorâ, the front of my shoe got stuck in a âmisplacedâ tile as it sent me tumbling forward, yelping loudly as I crashed into the back of Mingiâs chair, my tray falling from my hand and to the floor with a loud clank, Mingiâs loud cry following suit. I watched with wide eyes as Mingi jumped to his feet, sending me stumbling backwards, as my hot stew dripped down the back of his neck, his white shirt soaking through as the food trickled down his back. Everyone quieted around us, the Song table freezing as they watched Mingi yank the buttons of his shirt open, ripping the fabric off himself in a frenzy. Yunho and Dahyun were the first to spring into action, the young girl grabbing tissues as she jumped to the aid of her older brother. Yunho took the tissues and he started wiping the stew off Mingi quickly, who was whimpering quietly, as Dahyun took his larger hand in her small one, looking up at his brother with furrowed eyebrows.
âOh, no.â I said coldly, the attention on me now, âThereâs a protruding tile, I didnât see it.â
Perhaps the insincerity and mockery in my tone sent Yunho over the edge as his expression suddenly switched up, his eyes glazing over in anger, face scrunching as his fangs suddenly poked through his lips. His eyes didnât switch colors like Mingiâs wouldâve already, but Yunho looked terrifying to the onlookers, not to me. Iâve seen Yunho angry before, and it didnât faze me because I knew he was all bark and no bite. The giant couldnât hurt a fly, even.
âWhich tile?!â Yunhoâs voice was shaking, âShow me! Right now!â
âYunho.â Mingi whispered, grabbing his brotherâs bicep.
âNo, Mingi, no!â Yunho snapped, furious eyes settling on his brother, warning him to stay quiet, âIâve had enough of her always bullying us! Iâve had enough of you, Y/N, always making Mingi suffer. Whatâs your fucking problem, huh?!â
âYou,â I snarled, fangs growing out as I lost composure, âand your pathetic family are my fucking problem, Yunho. You act like animals and parade around thinking thereâs no consequence to your actions?! He burned my fucking hand, Yunho! He pierced my skin with his claws, Yunho! Whatâs next, huh? He bites me and kills me?! Do you not see Mingi isnât fit to be here? Your whole family shouldnât be here, Yunho!â
âUntil when do you think your werewolf hating agenda can go on, Y/N?â Yunhoâs ears and neck have gotten red, eyes shaking as they flickered orchid for a second, but were quickly back to their light brown color. I could hear Yunhoâs heart hammer against his chest, Mingiâs heartbeat fast as well, but not out of anger like Yunhoâs, instead out of fear. His grip tightened around Yunhoâs bicep, and I chuckled as a smirk slipped onto my lips.
âUntil the day the Earth ends?â I raised an eyebrow, âDonât forget your place, Werewolf. You are nobody and nothing, I am a Petrova. My family paved the way for everything you are able to experience comfortably today. So think again before you try to threaten me, Song Yunho.â
âYour family would be ashamed of you, Y/N.â Perhaps that jab shouldnât have hurt as much as I did, it visibly made me recoil as my eyebrows furrowed, bitterness raising in my throat. No, they wouldnât be. Just because I hated this family didnât mean my own would be ashamed of me.
âYouâre wrong.â I found myself saying back, voice not as strong as it was, âStay away from me, all of you!â
And before anyone could say anything, I stormed out of the canteen, ignoring the loud whispers that followed even when I was far away, mind a jumbled mess of thoughts. I tried to forget Yunhoâs words, but they were messing with my head. Maybe if his own kind wouldnât act like such wild animals, I wouldnât hate them. Maybe if his own feral kind wouldnât have tried to kill me when I was a child, I wouldnât hate them so much.
           Somewhere along the day I managed to put past myself everything thatâs happened in the morning and at noon in the canteen, and after having fed, I was pleased to see the burn on my hand heal by itself by the time the girls and I headed out to the bonfire party. Despite it being a spring evening, the air was chilly and the breeze cool, therefore I opted to wear a light patterned jacket over my black off-shoulder fluffy blouse, ripped black jeans hugging my legs and keeping them warm. Not that I was too cold, a vampireâs body reacted differently to the temperatures compared to the human ones. The party had been in full swing by the time the girls and I have arrived, having had to walk through a short passage of the woods, feeling quite disturbed by the louds howls of the werewolves. The girls only laughed and made comments about them being too excited for such a simple party, but all I could think about was one of them jumping out and ripping us to shreds. I kept closer to Irene, who never questioned it when I snuggled up against her side or held onto her arm tightly, even went as far as to offer me a huge smile and rub my arm up and down reassuringly. Nobody really knew about how I acquired the bite mark on my left bicep, forever marked, but it wasnât hard to put two and two together. A vampireâs bite looked a lot different, and if a vampire bit another vampire, it faded away in less than three hours. However, if a werewolf bit a vampire, if the vampire was fortunate enough to survive the attack then the wound would scar and fade into a light, but very visible, bite marks.
But I tried to put past myself such grey thoughts tonight, and instead, welcomed the lively atmosphere as we were presented with the gravel path that lead down towards the lake house, the big bonfire a few good meters away from it, in the small meadow surrounding the lake. Vampires and Werewolves alike were gathered around, forming smaller or larger groups, and I was quickly pulled in the direction of the crackling fire as Irene excitedly pointed towards the roasted marshmallows others were having. I chuckled as I released her thin arm and accepted the red solo cup Seulgi pushed into my hands, not bothering to ask what was in it, knowing that it was most likely some unbranded hard liquor which would get us drunk fast, and hit hard, leaving us hungover tomorrow. Which probably wasnât too smart as our parents would be visiting, but I couldnât find it in myself to care as my body and mind screamed for a little release as these past few days have been quite stressful. I downed the contents of the red cup in one go, and perhaps that was a mistake as it burned my esophagus, making me cough loudly as Irene happily roasted her marshmallow, giggling about something with Krystal, who was crouched down next to her. Seulgi leaned against my side, resting her arm on my shoulder, and laughed as she watched me wheeze for air, clutching at my own throat desperately.
âGirl, nobody told you to down it in one go.â Seulgi seemed amused by my suffering, and I could only glare at her. That is, until I felt a foreign arm wrap around my shoulders, scent extremely new, but not too bothersome as I inhaled sharply.
âHere, wash it down with beer.â It was a senior vampire I have seen around, his eyes sharp and glinting with mischief. I narrowed my eyes at him before looking at the canned beer, and reluctantly accepted it when he pushed it in my hand, âDonât worry, itâs unopened. Saw you downing your drink and knew youâd regret it instantly, the nameâs Joshua, by the way.â
I opened the beer and took a big gulp of it, welcoming the cool drink as it poured down my throat, finally washing away the awful burn of the previous alcohol, âNice to meet you, Iâm Y/N.â
âRight,â Joshua chuckled, releasing me as he stepped back, âHard to miss a Petrova.â
And with a wink he was gone, making me smirk as he threw a lasting stare back at me. Seulgi chuckled; her eyebrows raised when I looked at her.
âWhat was that?â She mocked, using a manly voice, trying to imitate Joshua despite his soft-spoken, melodic voice.
âDonât know, but heâs cute.â I mused with a shrug and took another big gulp of my beer, humming as I could feel my body jittery already. Alcohol affected us, night creatures, harder, but judging my current mental state, I would get drunk a lot faster tonight than I would do so usually.
âMaybe heâs got his eyes on you?â Seulgi smirked, eyes sweeping over the place, searching for Joshua.
âIf heâs rich, I donât mind.â I said with a chuckle and Seulgi just shook her head, detaching herself as Irene and Krystal finally joined us again, instead going up to Irene to ruffle her perfect dark brown hair. Irene whined and pushed at Seulgiâs hand, pouting as she rearranged her curls, exchanging places with Krystal so that Seulgi wouldnât bother her again.
âWhereâd you get those drinks from?â She asked, pointing at Seulgiâs.
âFrom the open bar.â Seulgi said while pointing with her head towards a long table only a few feet away from us, littered with all sorts of alcohol, four people behind the table handing everyone a red cup as they walked up to them. Two vampires and two werewolves, I could only hope Seulgi accepted our drinks from the vampires.
âLetâs grab some!â Krystal said excitedly, and I nodded, downing my beer and throwing the crumpled can to the ground as I followed after them.
âWait for me, I need a refill!â
âAlready?â Irene asked with wide eyes and I grinned as I nodded, holding my empty red cup up.
âIâm getting wasted tonight.â I chuckled as the girls gave me weary looks, but commented nothing on it.
And wasted I got not even two hours into the party. The world was a little fuzzy and hazy around me, but I maneuvered myself around the crowd quite skillfully, I was one hundred percent sure that someone from the outside wouldnât have been able to tell that I was, well, drunk. Maybe the way my laughter got louder and more frequent wouldâve been a tell-tale sign that, perhaps, I should take it easy on the alcohol from now on, but nobody paid enough attention to me to actually stop me from doing so. Irene and Seulgi were perhaps even drunker than I was, falling over each other and giggling at everything as they whispered in each otherâs ears, completely forgetting that with our sensitive hearing we could still hear them if we listened closely. But I was too in my own head to be curious of their conversation, and instead found myself in a heated debate with Krystal and a druid friend of hers about which herbs were actually healing, and which were known to have healing proprieties but werenât actually used to heal, but to poison instead. Of course, I thought I was quite right at the beginning about some black roots I have found two weeks ago in the forest, but turns out it only gives you diarrhea if you drink it two days in a row. Which was excellent, and perhaps a piece of information I shouldnât bear as my mind instantly went to Mingi, making me cackle to myself. Krystal said nothing despite me probably looking like a mad woman, and instead came to my aid when she noticed me trying to stand up from the log we had been lounging on for the past one hour.
âIâm getting a drink,â I mumbled, rubbing my eyes for a second as the world swirled with me upon standing up, âand then Iâm going to dance, want to come?â
Krystal hummed, looking around the bonfire, eyes pausing on somebody I couldnât see due to my alcohol infused brain, âPerhaps later, would you mind that?â
âOf course not!â I exclaimed with a grin and petted her head, albeit a little too aggressively, before turning my head to look for Irene and SeulgiâŠbut they werenât where we had left them not even fifteen minutes ago. My eyes narrowed as I searched the place, closing my eyes to tune into their voices, listening closely, but failing as there were too many voices surrounding me. On a normal day, finding them even a crowd as big and loud as this one wouldâve been childâs splay, but with my fogged-up brain, it turned out to be mission impossible right now. And closing my eyes made me feel nauseous, so I quickly opened them and with a drunken wave directed at Krystal, I took off towards the open bar. I was quite skilled at walking in a straight line without bumping into anyone despite my current state, and could only grin at the people behind the table once I arrived there. I failed to notice the werewolf dude leaning over the table, asking what I wanted. I held up one finger before pointing at the beer, and he handed it to me quickly with a smile, making me chuckle as I opened it and took a big gulp of it. He chuckled and cheered for me, making me wink at him before I turned and took off, headed towards the lake house. I had been in the mood to dance for hours now, but the girls kept me busy with stories, and I continuously kept bumping into people I knew, forced to converse with each one. But now, finally the time to join the dance floor came, and I felt giddy as I sped up, not noticing that I was using my vampire speed, the world blurring even more in front of my eyes, that is until my body slammed into another one, halting me back with a loud gasp as the beer was slapped out of my hand.
âWhat the fuck?!â I called out loudly, pushing my arm out in front of me as my arm dripped with disgusting beer. The music was louder as I was almost near the lake house.
âSorry, I wasnâtâoh.â My eyes snapped up at the sudden attitude in the tone of the person who had run into me, only needing a few seconds for the wet dog stench to register, the blonde hair of the deceitful girl standing in front of me way too familiar.
âYou.â I snarled, eyes darkening as my fangs appeared, out of control  due to the alcohol in my system at this point as I glared down at the shorter girl in front of myself. Yeriâs eyes were just as dark as mine, her hands balled into fists as her cheeks were flushed red, âWhat the fuck are you doing here, little dog? This party is for seniors, and youâre not even a junior.â
âFuck off, bitch!â Yeri snapped, growling at me, sending me into a giggling fit as I stared the younger girl down, raising an eyebrow.
âDid one of your disgusting brotherâs snuggle you inside?â I tilted my head to the side, pouting my lips in mockery, âOr did you slip in by yourself? How about I show you where wet dogâs like you belong?â
âDonât touch me!â Yeri yelped when my hand shoot out, wrapping around her bicep painfully, my eyes flashing scarlet red.
âI keep telling your brother the same thing, yet he never listening, little Yeri.â I sighed loudly, making fake crying sounds in my drunken stupor, âHow about I teach him a lesson through you?â
I flashed my fangs as I stepped all up in Yeriâs personal space, her eyes widening in fright as she started yanking on her arm, her heartbeat fast in panic.
âIf you struggle, itâll only hurt more.â I whispered menacingly as I started leaning closer to her neck, grabbing her other arm with my free hand, stilling her movements with my inhumane strength. The girl whimpered loudly and I watched as her lips trembled in fright, shaking her head furiously no. I grinned sadistically at her, chuckling when I got close enough to her neck, hearing her quiet sniffs as she had started crying, âHow pathetic.â
I loosened my grip on her and she instantly pushed me away to the point I staggered backwards, almost loosing my footing as the world swirled with me, âYou fucking psychotic bitch!â
Yeri cried at the top of her lungs, a few night creatures glancing our way, but they continued walking on when they saw that nothing bad was actually happening, âOh, little puppy got scared? How sad!â
âI will rip you to fucking shreds when I have my first shifting!â Yeri screamed, voice shrill and breathing heavily as I threw my head back in laughter, gulping down the sudden wave of nausea which hit me.
âStupid dog, in your place Iâd be more worried about growing a beard!â I stuck my tongue out at Yeri in child-like mockery, and watched as her eyes widened to the point of popping, choking back a scream. I just laughed as she threw me one last furious glare before turning around and storming off, her mumbling quite loud as I laughed hearing her curse me to the heavens and back.
âGreat, now my beer is gone.â I grumbled to myself once Yeri was out of sight and not entertaining me anymore, making me sigh as I remembered my mission before I was interrupted by the stupid girl. I turned around and grinned as I spotted the door to the lake house open, and once again using my vampire speed, I waltzed inside quite clumsily, knocking into the doorframe and groaning as I stumbled towards. Somebody caught me but I quickly shook their hands off, and pushed my way through the crowd, settling somewhere towards the middle of it, closing my eyes and getting lost to the even beat of the EDM music playing.
I smiled as I threw my arms up, jumping to the beat, until I felt someone tapping my shoulder, making me turn around. It was a girl I knew from one of my classes and she looked quite excited as she waved, making me chuckle as I waved back. She was quite the cute fae and extremely friendly, so I didnât object as she pushed a red cup into my hands, prompting me to drink from it. Perhaps it was the tastiest cocktail I drank all night long, and I thanked her with a big grin when she said I could keep it. I closed my eyes and swayed my hips to the rhythm of the music, enjoying myself with the small fae girl as she twirled around cutely, making me laugh at some of her movements as I found them hilarious, but endearing. The DJ suddenly changed the song and everyone screamed, making me excited as it was one of my favorite songâs, the fae girlâs eyes also widening as she grabbed my arm and started jumping up and down in excitement. Soon, I found myself taking large gulps of the sweet cocktail as I jumped up and down with the fae, screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs as we were just two drunken bodies enjoying ourselves in the crowd of the night creatures. That is, however, until I felt a harsh grip on my right bicep, forcefully yanking me backwards and away from my fae friend. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and I pouted when the fae girl suddenly stepped back, eyes wide and set behind me before she got lost in the crowd, my body whirled around so fast that everything went hazy around me, and I was forced to shut my eyes for a few moments, stomach doing weird flips. It also didnât help that suddenly it smelled like wet dogs.
âListen here, bloodsucker,â A deep and raspy male voice hissed, my eyes snapping open as I found myself face to face with Mingi, âyou can insult me and threaten me all day long, if you want, but if you touch my sister one more time, Y/N, I will rip you apart!â
I stared into Mingiâs handsome face for a second, and then the next I was laughing, head falling back as my body shook with the motion, hardly able to control myself in my inebriated state. But my fun didnât last for long as I felt the red cup slapped out of my hand, making my blood boil as I glared at Mingi.
âThis is the second time one of you, Song wet dogâs, slap my drink out of my hand, Mingi,â I hissed, unimpressed at this point, âItâs getting tiring and annoying.â
âI donât give a shit about your drinks, Y/N,â Mingi growled, stepping closer, âWhat I do care about is you having a problem with my sister andââ
âBlah-blah-blah, Mingi.â I scoffed, pulling on my arm, but Mingiâs grip only tightened, âQuit yapping, I donât give a shit. Youâre irrelevant, irritating, and you fucking stink.â
âListen to me, you fucking entitled bitch!â Mingiâs raw voice boomed over the music as he grabbed me by both arms, shaking my body harshly as his breathing got heavier, heart thumping wildly in his chest. I chuckled and bit my lower lip, surprised by this new side of Mingi. His breath was mingled with alcohol, no wonder he was acting so wild all of a sudden, not that he usually wasnât. It was justâŠmore raw tonight, seemed more sincere than before, âI want you to leave my family alone. Weâve had enough of your torment and constant taunts, what the fuck did we do to you?!â
I groaned and threw my head back to stare at the dark ceiling of the lake house, âYouâre just too dense, Mingi, arenât you? Do you seriously want me to go on a rant and repeat every single thing Iâve told you these past two days? You have no place at Wilden Pine Academy, let alone in Nocturnal Parade.â
âIâm done with this conversation,â Mingi hissed through his teeth, making me smirk as he stepped back, letting go of my arms finally.
âAre you?â I mocked as I cocked an eyebrow at him, blinking at him sweetly, âI thought you were here to put me in my place for touching your precious little sister. Sheâs quite dumb, by the way, but I suppose it runs in the family.â
Mingi didnât say anything, but it wasnât hard to miss the way his jaw clenched, ebbing me on more to continue taunting him. I felt confident as I allowed my eyes to run over his body, taking in his tall and lanky form. The dark grey jeans hung loosely around his lower half, a little low on his hips, held in place by the thick belt he wore, making him look like a cowboy, almost. There were quite big rips in his jeans, the lower half of his thighs uncovered just to below his knees, a quite delicious sight for hungry eyes. I slowly dragged my eyes up, and perhaps, they lingered a tad bit too long on his narrow waist, the black muscle shirt tucked inside his jeans clinging deliciously tight against his lean muscles, which were not too harsh, but quite obvious now that he was out of his loose Academy uniform. I knew werewolves were night creatures with higher body temperature, but it was still a bit surprising that he didnât wear a jacket, his neck decorated with various silver chains, similar much to the collars dogs would wear. I giggled at my own thoughts as I finally looked back into Mingiâs eyes, forgetting for a second where I was going with this, or what I initially had in mind as I felt my own heartrate pick up, almost matching Mingiâs. I failed to notice his fluffy hair was out of his day-to-day manbun, lusciously falling around his face, framing his sharp eyes which looked even sharper with the harsh black eyeliner rimming them.
âNice necklaces, Mingi,â I complimented, twirling my finger around a chain until Mingi slapped it away with a hiss, âreminds me of dogs and their collars their owners make them wear. Do you also have an owner?â
Mingiâs cheeks flared in an instant, and I wasnât surprise to see his eyes flash orchid, flickering back to their warm brown color the next second. I tilted my head and licked my lips as I stepped just a bit closer, suddenly meowing at him in a mocking way, âDo big, bad, dogs like you like little kitties too?â
It really happened in a flash, perhaps in a sober state I wouldâve been impressed by how fast he moved even for a werewolf, but all of my senses were dull at the moment as my world was hazy, and all I could do was remain frozen in surprise as Mingiâs large hand took ahold of my neck and tightly wrapped around it, his silver rings digging into my skin. His puffs of breath hit my face as he was breathing hard, and I could hear the blood race through his veins, flush to his head deliciously as his heart thumped wildly, the strange cinnamon scent I have smelled before on him very prominent all of a sudden. My blood ran cold as Mingiâs eyes flashed orchid again, fingers squeezing my throat just a bit more, but now it hurt. However, I felt my heart race pick up as butterflies flew freely in my stomach, making me giggle breathlessly. The alcohol could really make you a fool if it wanted to, if you allowed it to.
âWill you snap my neck in half?â I whispered against Mingiâs lips, almost touching, knowing well that he could hear me crystal clear. Mingi sucked in a harsh breath of air, shaking his head, body trembling. I smirked, very aware of the conflicting emotions on Mingiâs face, and of the growing and shrinking claws against the soft skin of my neck. He really couldâve snapped my neck in half right then and there if he wanted to, and I wouldâve been too drunk to realize it in time and defend myself. Making it even worse, I was the one asking for it, edging him on, laughing danger in its face, forgetting why I hate werewolves so much. Forgetting that I almost lost my life because of one of them.
Perhaps the planets stilled and galaxies aligned as one, and not even that couldâve prepared me for Mingiâs next actions, or the crippling shock I felt in my body, as Mingi pulled my body into his, ferociously chasing after my red lips as his plump ones found mine, inhaling them as he sucked on my lower lip, my body too numb on the inside to show on the outside the shock I was feeling. His teeth clamped down on my bottom lip painfully so, making me gasp as I yanked my head back, very aware of Mingiâs huge palm kneading the flesh of my ass through my jeans, forcing a hysteric laugh out of my body as I threw an arm around his shoulders, feeling weak all of a sudden, and needing something to anchor myself in. My laughter was high-pitched and extremely loud, but it didnât deter Mingi from me as I felt his left hand grab my nape and yank my head back up, our eyes boring into each other.
âWhat the fuck, Mingi.â I found myself chuckling, fingers tangling into his soft hair, grip firm and painful as Mingi grimaced slightly.
âFuck you, Y/N.â Mingiâs growl was animalistic as he crashed our lips together again, the dancing bodies around us forcing us closer together, flushed to the point where I didnât know where Mingi ended and where I began. His lips set a feracious pace, slotting perfectly against mine, inhaling my breath like I was his only oxygen supply. I didnât realize it in that moment, but I clung onto him as if my life depended on it, as if he was my life source and I desperately needed him. I sucked and bit at his lips, unashamedly moaning when his hand grabbed onto my ass firmly, rocking our lower bodies in sync to the rhythm of the song while he inhaled my lips, thumb pressing into my cheek painfully as he had grabbed my jaw, keeping me in place, refusing to allow me to pull my head back again. I sucked on his plump lower lip, hearing a small whimper slip through his lips as they parted, granting me the access inside his mouth as I pushed my tongue through his parted lips, forcing his mouth open wider. Mingi groaned deep in his throat, fingers slotting back into my hair and yanking harshly on it, making me gasp as he refused to let me dominate the kiss as his tongue lapped at mine, forcefully entering my own mouth, tilting my head in a way that would grant him even more access to reach deeper. My only body felt alive the longer Mingiâs mouth pressed against mine, no matter the pain as I fisted his muscle shirt, struggling to keep my moans at bay as Mingiâs hand slipped inside the back pocket of my jeans, cupping my ass and guiding my body against his as they grinded together to the music. His tongue was hot as it explored my mouth, licking at every corner, making my breath still as he licked at my fangs almost mockingly, almost as if he tried to draw his own blood, making my head thump with wild lust Iâve never felt before. I didnât think much, clearly, as I felt with my right hand down his broad shoulders, firm chest, and abdomen, slipping between our bodies without Mingi noticing. My lungs screamed for air, but I refused to pull back first, grabbing at Mingiâs hard-on through his jeans, eliciting a choked back moan. Putting pressure on his dick with the heel of my hand, I started massaging him, Mingiâs breath hitching as he flushed our bodies together even more if that was possible, no longer paying any attention to the music or keeping up with the dancing bodies in the crowd around us. The longer I kept on rubbing his dick slowly but firmly, the sloppier Mingiâs kisses got, gasps and groans slipping past his occupied mouth. I smirked against his slick lips, and felt triumphant when he was the first one to pull back, gasping against my mouth as a string of saliva connected our mouths together still, Mingiâs eyebrows scrunched up in pleasure as I raised my hand enough to slip it inside his jeans, the belt not making it much too difficult to do so. My eyes widened when I realized Mingi wore no underwear, and my throat became drier instantly at the thought of how easy he made everything as my fingers slowly wrapped around his bare member.
âFuck, not here.â Mingiâs deep voice was raspy and raw as he grabbed my wrist, biting his swollen lower lip.
I chuckled, licking at his red lips, enticed by the flush of his cheeks as I tightened my grip around his shaft, making him gasp in pleasure, âSo the big, bad, dog does like playing with kitties, after all.â
âShut the fuck up,â Mingi hissed, eyes narrowing into slits as he glared at me, yanking my hand out of his jeans, his long and sharp nose pressing against mine, âYou wonât be calling me no dog after tonight.â
           Something lay heavily on my chest, hot air tickling the sore skin of my neck. Not much needed to be said as I groaned lowly, all of my muscles feeling heavy and sore, head thumping violently due to the ticking of a clock, which seemed to only become louder and louder, too piercing to my sensitive ears in the quiet of my room. My mouth felt dry and my throat almost felt like burning up, the feeling quite similar to bloodthirst, which wouldnât make much sense as I have fed yesterday. I wasnât thirsty, yet my body felt alive, almost alert, as I sighed softly, trying to stretch out my muscles, but unable to move, almost as if I was pinned down by something. I licked my lips and rubbed at my eyes, suddenly registering the foreign scents mingling together around me. The scent of cinnamon was nauseatingly overbearing, making my stomach flip when it mixed with fresh grass, somehow clashing with a completely different scent that reminded me a lot of those stupid wet dogs. Werewolves, only they smelled like that.
My eyes flew open, heartbeat kicking off in a frenzy as my dry eyes burned, having to blink them multiple times until the ache went away, telling myself that this must be just a bad dream as the room I found myself in looked nothing like the dorm room I share with Irene. It was scaringly the opposite of it, quite messy and littered with boyish things, a family picture framed, and placed on the wall opposite the bed I lay in, almost making me scream at the top of my lungs as my eyes swept over the Song family. I jumped when a soft breath tickled the skin of my neck again, and my jaw dropped as I finally took the bother to look down at myself, muscles locking up, and a scream choked back in the back of my throat as I lay frozen with an asleep Song Mingi on top of me, naked. Both of us were naked, and I felt myself starting to panic as I licked my chapped lips, pressing my head back harshly into the pillow, racking my brain for any memories of last night, coming up almost empty handed after my fifth red cup, everything a haze as I desperately tried to find the reason why I was in Mingiâs room, laying naked in bed, and why we have even slept in the same bedâŠnaked.
And the blurry pieces of my recollection that I managed to find were horrifying as obscene memories flooded my mind, heart fluttering and cheeks flaming as Mingiâs breathless moans all of a sudden felt too loud in my ears, his strong body looming over mine as he kissed down my neck, gasping for air when my hand tightened just a little bit harder around his dick, hand moving up and down fast. It made Mingi whimper as he whispered in my ear that he was close to coming, sucking and biting on the soft flesh of my neck, making me moan as his hand cupped my breast, kneading it and squeezing it, body yearning to feel more of him.
But the memory became hazy again, and as I gripped my hair in frustration, I was shocked to find myself just barely remembering Mingiâs face scrunched in pure bliss, head thrown back as his calloused hands gripped my hips to the point of bruising, his hips pistoning upwards as my thighs trembled with my body leaned over him and hands holding onto the headboard as I rode him, our loud moans tangling together in wanton noises, no doubt disturbing Mingiâs neighbors. I could remember my heart beating out of my chest as my orgasm was quickly approaching, hip movements picking up as I started moving up and down faster, calling out Mingiâs name when his thumb found my clit, his eyes suddenly flashing orchid as he growled, letting me fuck myself on him as he looked up at me with the hungriest look in his eyes.
My breath stuttered in my throat as I tried to push the memory away, appalled by the way my body felt hot all over suddenly, Mingiâs naked weight pressing down on me not helping my situation at all as another stray fogged-up memory lurked at the back of my mind, fighting to push through, despite my attempts to keep it at bay. But it was a lost cause as I licked my lips, remembering the feel of Mingiâs lean body above mine and pressing into me, slick with sweat as Mingiâs mouth was parted, puffs of breath leaving his lips with each sharp thrust of his hips, hiking my body a little higher after each one due to the sheer force he was using, my toes curling and fingers gripping the sheets overhead. Mingi had one of my legâs pushed flushed to my chest as he used it as leverage to turn his pace brutal, my other leg wrapped around his waist, digging into his backside, as I urged him on to move rougher as his thick member pulsed inside my tight walls, tears springing into my eyes when my third orgasm was fast approaching, my body too sensitive to take any more, but Mingi wasnât stopping. He clamped his free hand down on my mouth as I was borderline screaming, body completely numb at this point as Mingi desperately chased after his own release, growls escaping through his parted lips as his orchid-colored eyes bore into my scarlet ones. Never have I ever felt such intense pleasure before, and I almost had to slap myself to push the memory away, skin tingling as Mingi suddenly shifted on top of me, lips brushing against my collarbones. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, gathering my thoughts and trying to remain level-headed, but the more the realization that I have slept with Mingi dawned on me, the more hysterical I started feeling. My body trembled in anger, and confusion over how much I liked it and how much my body was yearning for it again.
I did the next best thing I could, raised my hand and whacked Mingi in the back of his head hard, making him jump up with a loud growl and eyes orchid. He looked around the room frantically as his lower half pressed into mine, making my heartbeat quicken. It took Mingi almost the same amount of time as for me to realize just what happened, and as he whipped his head around, eyes back to their usual brown, his mouth fell open, and a very shrill scream left his lungs, making me close my eyes in pain as my ears rung.
âWhat the fuck!â Mingi continued to scream, horrified eyes looking at me, then at himself, continuing to do so for a few minutes until I realized he was basically looking at my naked breasts, making me smack him in the face, but not in a painful way, âWhat the fuck?!â
âShut up!â I screamed back at Mingi as my head thumped violently, his screaming only adding onto my migraine and hangover.
âWhat are you doing in my bed naked?!â Mingi still seemed too shocked to move, and I pushed his head away so that he wouldnât look at me anymore. I went to wriggle out from underneath him, but that only made matters worse as I rubbed up against his morning wood, making me gasp as my body instantly reacted, wanting nothing more than to spread my legs wide open for Mingi, a thought so terrifying that I froze. I didnât miss Mingiâs sharp inhale and his reddening cheeks.
âWhat do you think, you fucking idiot?!â I managed to fire back, Mingi suddenly realizing just how naked we were as he rolled over, finally his body off mine. I finally felt like I could breathe as I rolled to my side as well, shielding my private parts from him as the sheet on us wasnât big enough to cover the both of us anymore.
âOh, my God,â Mingi sounded mortified and I felt the bed dip behind myself, âWhereâs Yunho? Did he not come back here?â
âI fucking hope not!â I snapped as I sharply turned around, pushing Mingi hard, kicking him off his bed as he yelped loudly, hitting the carpeted floor with a heavy thud.
âWhat the fuck!â He called out, reaching a hand up and ripping the sheet covering me off, to shield himself. I yelped and scattered off the bed as well, wildly looking for my clothes, thankfully finding them disregarded by the bed as I used my inhumane speed to dress myself before Mingi could see me.
âDid weâwhy were you naked in my bed?!â Mingi stood, sheet wrapped around himself like a burrito, only his head visible as his face looked pale. He better was just as hungover as I as I struggled to button my jeans due to it, blood boiling at his stupid question.
âWhat do you think, you stupid boy?!â I hissed, scarlet eyes snapping onto him menacingly, âSurely not because we read the Holy Book Of The Clergy!â
âDonât bring up the Clergy right now, oh, my God!â Mingi looked mortified as he looked around, eyes pausing on his family photo, face blenching even more, âWe had sex.â
âYou donât say!â I snapped accusingly, eyes falling on the clock, mortified when I realized I barely had an hour to get ready until the gates of the Academy would open for all parents to be welcomed. I went to throw the door open just as Mingi marched up to me, grabbing me by my arm, face hard, and eyes set in a glare.
âGet out.â He snapped, grabbing the doorknob, the sheet wrapped around his body almost falling to the floor. I scoffed and yanked my arm out of his, glaring back just as viciously.
âYou hypocrite,â I pushed him back, sneering at him, âyou act like Iâm the one who put my dick inside of you.â
âI donât doubt you wouldnât have, if you had one!â I huffed as I was appalled, my eyes turning scarlet once again as Mingi scoffed at me
âIâm pretty sure you started this on the dancefloor, Mingiââ
âDonât say my name!â Mingi cringed, turning around and pulling the sheet over his head as he started wailing silently. I rolled my eyes at his theatrics and went to leave the room, never wanting to see his stupid face again, until I remembered just how big of a louse mouth Mingi actually was, and it made my heart thump wildly in fear that heâd go around blabbering about what we had done. So, I turned sharply, and using my vampire speed, appeared in front of Mingi, clutching his throat tightly, only to be faced with no face and only a white sheet. I closed my eyes in exasperation as Mingi gasped and started wailing that he couldnât breathe, so, I ripped the sheet off his head, glaring at him, almost amused by the way his blonde and red hair stuck up in all directions.
âIf you say anything to anyone, Song Mingi, I swear to you right now, that I will suck your blood dry and eradicate your whole family afterwards.â Mingiâs nose scrunched in disgust as I leered the words at him, my fangs menacing, and scarlet eyes terrifying. When Mingi didnât say anything, I tightened my fingers around his neck, making him roll his eyes at me.
âDonât flatter yourself, Y/N, I wouldnât want a soul to know about this.â I narrowed my eyes at him, but upon being convinced based on his heartbeat and stoic face that he was saying the truth, I released him and left his room in a hurry once making sure that nobody would see me. Was it really necessary that my days would turn into nightmares each day lately?
           The image I was presented with when I looked in the mirror in my own room was nightmarish, mouth falling open when I saw the dark bruises creating a whole constellation on my neck. I needed a few minutes to calm myself as I took in deep breaths, otherwise Mingi would be laying now in a puddle of his own blood. The sight of myself was disappointing, and I couldnât help but feel angry with myself for letting this happen. If we werenât so drunk this wouldâve never happened. I canât believe I let a werewolf touch meâŠlet alone in such inappropriate ways. My mind kept trying to wander off to memories of last night with Mingi, but I forced myself to focus and forget everything that happened, marking it as a stupid drunken mistake that would never again happen. Despite having barely an hour to get ready, I was done in record time. I was fresh and clean after the deep cleanse shower I took, all bruises and miscolored spots instantly covered up afterwards. I curled my hair nicely and applied very light makeup, adding a little color to my pale cheeks and lips, wearing the dress my mother sent. Irene thankfully helped me change it a bit, and now it was up to my taste as I wore my black high heels to match the color of my nails, and left the dorms, not wanting to be late when my parents would arrive. I would certainly get chastised for it, and my still thumping head wouldnât have been able to take that as well. I was finally regretting the fact that I mixed so many drinks last night and that there wasnât anyone to stop me from wrecking myself. Surviving today would prove to be almost an impossible mission.
By the time I made it to the gardens, it was buzzing to the brim with students, the younger ones all excited to see their parents, the older ones not as quite happily waiting for them. I easily found Irene in the crowd as I smelled her sweet perfume, and came to stand next to her, arms crossed over my chest as I grimaced when the fifth graders kept cheering and screaming in our vicinity. I didnât want to ruin the moods of those poor children, but if they didnât shut up soon, my head would surely explode.
âOh, Y/N,â Irene said as she finally noticed me, her eyebrows furrowing as she took me in, snapping me out of glaring at a blonde little girl, âWhen did you arrive? I didnât notice you.â
I sighed and looked at her tiredly, my muscles quite sore afterâŠthe night I had, âJust now, this is dreadful.â
Irene chuckled as she followed my sight, which was back on the loud kids, âWell, yes, you shouldnât have had so much to drink last nightâŠâ
I rolled my eyes, looking back at my friend, âLook whoâs talking. I thought friends are supposed to stop you from doing stupid shit? Oh, well, you couldnât possibly have done so since you disappeared with Seulgi, again.â
Irene blushed and looked away abashed, clearing her throat awkwardly, âSorry about that, wonât happen again, I promise.â
âYeah, right.â I chuckled unamused, knowing very well they will most likely disappear off to somewhere together the second they get the chance to. Irene looked at me with a small smile, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, lightly bumping her shoulder against mine. I watched as her eyebrows slowly furrowed and nose scrunched, leaning closer to sniff me. I yanked my head back and gave her a confused look, Irene looking even more confused, âWhat?â
âUh,â She paused, sniffing me again deeply, her eyebrows raising in mild interest, âY/N, you kinda smell like those werewolves you hate so muchâŠâ
âWhat?!â I snapped, heart somersaulting in my ribcage as I raised my arms to sniff them thoroughly, then raised the front of my dress too, but smelled nothing peculiar, âNo, I donât. What are you talking about?!â
âI mean, you kinda do,â Irene looked at me like I was crazy, âEspecially that Mingi guyââ
âNo, I donât.â I hissed, looming over my best friend, muscles tense and blood boiling, âAnd donât ever again bring him up!â
Before Irene could react or even look at me like I was crazy, I stormed off towards the opened gates just as my parents car rolled up, their butler getting off first to open the door for them. I took a deep breath and brushed all thoughts aside, assuring myself that the copious shower and intense perfume I downed on myself surely masked any remaining scent of Mingiâs on my body, Irene mustâve smelled it wrong. Perhaps Mingi was lurking around and thatâs why she felt his scent on me.
           Two more hours. I only had to survive two more hours of this mayhem until the gates would be closed once again, parents away, serenity coating the Academy once again. I was barely holding on at this point, ears ringing to the point I barely heard anyone talking to me, and head thumping so violently I wouldâve willingly asked Mingi to rip my head off. But I had to keep an image, and therefore, I made sure to drink lots of water and mask everything I felt under a small smile that would turn into a grimace whenever nobody was looking at me. Our table was simple and small as it only consisted of my parents and I, and it was more towards the middle of the garden, of course, the prestigious families sat closely together, Ireneâs just to our left, with Seulgi a few tables down, Krystalâs nowhere in sight as the druids were seated more towards the entrance, close to the faes. My father and mother found this opportunity perfect to spread their business ideas to the other night creatures, thankfully not bothering me as much as I thought they would. However, the second we sat down to eat is when the real headache started as they drilled me with questions and didnât fail to remind me of our principles and rules that I must follow at all times.
When my mother saw me, she wasnât too keen of the changes done to the dress, but she said nothing as she enveloped me in a big hug, smiling at me brightly as she pulled away, her skin absolutely perfect and glinting in the sunlight. She looked very young, almost younger than me, her vampire genes certainly more on the fortunate side, thankfully passed down to me as well. My father was less affectionate, but he was quick to offer me a side hug and smile at me cheekily, playfully asking if I had been up to no good last night as he apparently knew about the bonfire party. I merely laughed and brushed it off, assuring him that I was in bed by twelve, my beauty sleep absolutely necessary. They didnât have to know of my endeavors last night, not that they wouldâve been against me mingling with a werewolf, the opposite, my parents were huge werewolf lovers and supporters. After the clergy, they were the first ones to preach unity between our kinds, urging everyone to love and respect each other, to live in harmony. One would think almost losing their only daughter to a monster would scar them, but they only became bigger believers of the necessity of peace between us, using me as an example quite often. Perhaps my parents played a significant part in my life when it came to me hating werewolves so much.
Barely even half an hour had passed since their arrival when I felt my mother adjusting my hair and telling me to stand up straight, eyebrows furrowed as she kept leaning close, inspecting my face closely. She muttered about the skin of my neck being darker, and for a second, I thought the coverage came off, but my father just told her to leave me alone as nothing was wrong with my neck. I knew my mother would keep a scrutinizing eye on me, but I hoped she wouldnât try to spot every little flaw about me today. However, that wasnât the case as she pinched her nose and threw me a disgusted look. I paled, mouth hanging open as she cleared her throat, slapping my fatherâs arm as she motioned towards me.
âSweetheart, doesnât she smell a bit funny today?â She had asked my father, making me freeze as they both stared at me. I felt like a little child all over again.
âNot at all, let the girl relax a little, dear, sheâs been tense all day,â My father had sighed and had gently pulled me into his side, chuckling, âSheâs walking a bit funny, I bet those physical training classes are quite challenging for you.â
If my face looked as mortified as I had felt in that moment, my parents said nothing about it, they just hummed to each other and let me off, asking me to walk with them as they caught up with old acquittances and present business partners. I wanted to burry myself hearing my parents words, but I just brushed them off and laughed anytime someone mentioned my scent being a little different, hands clenching behind my back into fists, itching to connect with Mingiâs sharp jaw.
Finally, my parents have grown bored of talking to everyone and we were seated at our table currently, them enjoying the copious amount of food placed on our table, me, not so much. I ate very little and told them that I have fed earlier in the morning and wasnât feeling too keen about having human food as well, which, thankfully, they accepted and didnât push for more answers. The truth was that I wouldâve thrown up right then and there if they wouldâve forced me to eat the raw meat on my plate. My eyes were trained on the Song familyâs table as my eardrums shook each time they roared with laughter, falling off chairs and conversing just way too loudly taken the setting we were in. I grit my teeth as the sunlight fell perfectly on Mingiâs face, coating him in a golden hue as his longish hair had little braids in it, highlighting the red against his blonde hair. Everything about him was infuriating, and I gulped when my stomach started doing weird flips upon hearing his laughter. His mouth opened wide and his head fell back, body shaking in time with his wheezes, soft skin looking like precious gemstones glinting under the sunlight. I scoffed and grabbed my tall glass, taking a sip of my orange juice as Wooyoungâs witchy laughter pierced my ears, making me shut my eyes in pain.
âAre you still sensitive, love?â My fatherâs gruff voice made my eyes snap open as I averted my gaze from the Songâs, looking at my father with a forced smile on my lips.
âYes, some days itâs worse than others.â I explained, making him hum as he looked at my mother.
âWell, thatâs not exactly healthy,â He muttered under his breath before shaking his head, âbut many things changed in your immune system after you were bittenââ
âI donât want to talk about this here.â I snapped, voice harsh and body tense as my grip tightened around my glass. Anyone could hear us. My faded bite mark suddenly started pulsating hotly against my skin and I gulped, heartrate accelerating.
âDear, itâs nothing to be ashamed ofââ
âMother,â I snapped, eyes shooting to her, âNot here.â
My parents fell silent as I remained tense, shooting them piercing stares, the two of them sighing in sync as my mother leaned back in her chair, looking defeated.
âWell, Iâm just glad youâre doing alright.â My father suddenly smiled and reached over the table, patting my hand a few times. I nodded with a silent hum and took another gulp of my orange juice, eyes finding the Song table again as they roared with laughter once again. I was about to sneer in their direction, when I realized Mingi was already looking at me, eyebrows lightly furrowed. I threw him a piercing stare, making him avert his gaze as he joined the cheers of his family, making me scoff.
âArenât they just a lovely bunch?â My mother mused with a dreamy sigh, âI have always wished vampires were able to reproduce more than once. Imagine all the little fangs weâd find once they fell out, little toes hitting the floorboards loudly, the giggles resounding in our vast mansion, the warm feeling of being a big family.â
Nothing couldâve sounded more horrible than the exact same thing my mother was describing. My father chuckled and took a sip of his wine, watching the Song family too now, âI bet those five pups were rascals while growing up.â
âStill are.â I muttered underneath my breath, thankful that my parents were too busy staring yearningly at the Song family.
âI love the warm and homey feeling they spread around themselves,â My mother smiled fondly, looking back at me, making me sick to my stomach when I saw the look in her eyes, âThey truly are a treasure to Nocturnal Parade, lighting up every corner they pass with their positive energy. Youâre lucky you get to go to the Academy at the same time as the pups.â
âLucky,â I almost snorted, but quickly masked it as I took another sip of my orange juice, eyes finding Mingiâs again, âYouâre right. Iâm so lucky.â
For some unknown reason, I felt enticed by Mingiâs eyes on me, mind fuzzy for a second as I watched him stand and excuse himself from his parents, headed towards the side of the garden where large pillars kept the construction of the greenhouse up. My jaw ticked and I took a deep breath, trying to fight the sudden urge to go after Mingi, but I figured he deserved to be chastised for leaving his strong scent all over me, so, I quickly stood and told my parents I would be back as I tried not to hurry after him, instead ended up doing a speedwalk towards Mingi. When I came up behind him, I grabbed his arm and yanked him after me, away from the prying eyes and curious glances, behind a tall pillar, silence finally enveloping around me as I was away from the loud chatter and laughter of the gardens.
âWhat are youââ
âWhy do I still smell like you?!â I snapped, glaring at Mingi as he pulled his arm out of my grip rather harshly, âEveryone can tell, Mingi! I thought nobody was supposed to know aboutââ
âAnd nobody knows, alright?!â Mingi snapped back, eyebrows furrowed as he didnât look me in the eyes, âItâs not my fault you smell like me. It happens with anyone, not just me, Y/N.â
âWell nobody elseâs scent Iâve slept with was as strong as yours, so it is your fault.â I hissed back, stepping closer, confused as to why Mingi wasnât looking me in the face. Something felt off, something was wrong. I could simply feel it. There was a nervosity in my system that wasnât there before, I almost felt the way Mingi looked. My faced blanked as something dropped deep in my stomach, eyebrows furrowing at the sudden need to reach out and touch Mingi. There was something so magnetic about him, something so luring that I stepped back with a gasp, watching Mingi alarmed and confused as his head whipped up.
âWhat have you done to me?â I asked in a whisper, hugging myself, trying to comfort myself as Mingiâs mouth fell open, gaping at me. The color drained from his face and my heartrate matched his as it started racing, profoundly confused.
âNoânothing.â It wasnât like Mingi to stutter, it wasnât like Mingi to suddenly avert his eyes and look small. It unsettled me and made me feel more panicked as I took a step forward, eyebrows furrowing more.
âMingi.â I hissed, leaning down to try and look into his eyes, but he just looked further away, âSomething happened, didnât it?â
âNo?â Mingi sounded far away from being convincing and I licked my lips in frustration, reaching out and grabbing his elbow. Mingiâs head whipped up towards me suddenly, his body heat so overwhelming that I felt dizzy as his cinnamon scent entered my senses, so calming that I felt my tense muscles suddenly relax. It was too confusing, never having experienced something like it before.
âIââ Mingi hesitated, sounding almost breathless as he looked me in my eyes finally, âI have imprinted on you, Y/N.â
âWhat?!â I screamed, releasing his elbow as if it burned me, eyes bulging and jaw on the floor as everything stilled around me. Mingi looked nervous and embarrassed as his cheeks flushed red, clearing his throat when I said nothing else, hoping that heâd say that he was just pulling a stupid prank on me.
âMingi.â I hissed, getting all up in his face in a sudden burst of anger, glaring at him furiously, âWhat do you mean you imprinted on me?!â
âExactly that, Y/N, oh, my God.â Mingi groaned, rubbing his face, taking a deep breath.
âNo.â I snapped, fisting his grey sweater, âIâI refuse. No, unimprint on me or something!â
âWhat?â Mingi looked confused, rolling his eyes, âI canât unimprint on youâthat word doesnât even exist, Y/N.â
âI donât care what word exists and doesnât, Mingi.â I hissed, yanking him down to be eye level with me, âYou canât fucking imprint on me. Iâm a vampire and youâre a werewolf. What is wrong with you?!â
âNothingâs wrong with me, stop being a bitch!â Mingi hissed, gripping my wrists. Electricity coursed through my skin where he touched me and my eyes widened in fright, giving him a look, but it didnât seem to phase Mingi.
âDo you imprint on everyone you sleep with?!â I hissed, body shaking in anger, heart beating fast. It wasnât helping that Mingi looked calm, almost defeated, as if this was final and he had accepted his fate.
The glare he gave me was sharp and unimpressed, âThatâs not what this wasââ
âReally?!â My voice raised again, panic coating my voice, âBecause we were completely fine until last night, Mingi! And now youâre telling me thatâyouâIâthat weâreâmates?!â
âWeâll be mates if you accept me, I thought you knew this by nowââ
âIt doesnât make any sense!â I exclaimed, breathing fast as Mingiâs fingers suddenly started rubbing the skin of my wrist softly, sighing quietly, âYou canât imprint on me.â
âCalm down first, your heart is beating like crazy.â Mingi whispered, voice soft and raspy, warm brown eyes boring into mine. I felt on the verge of teras as his warmth engulfed me, coating me in safety Iâve never felt before, a bubble of safety and calmness wrapping around us. He started taking slow deep breaths, making me subconsciously copy him as I felt myself relax once again, shake his hands off once I felt fine. I took a step back and was rather rattled when my body instantly yearned for Mingiâs. This was bad. Very bad.
âYou need to sort this out, Mingi.â I gestured around wildly, eyes wide, âWhatever you do, I donât care. But you canât imprint on me.â
âWell, I already did.â Mingi seemed annoyed as his words felt sharp, giving me a pointed stare, âSo accept it, because it wonât change.â
âYou canât just say that!â I whisper-shouted, feeling furious again as Mingi continued acting nonchalant about this whole ordeal.
âIâm not as horrible as you think I amââ
âMingi.â I snapped, shaking my head at him, âNo. Just no. Weâre not having this conversation. Unimprint on me and weâre done, thatâs it!â
âI just told you, I canât possiblyââ
âMingi?â A quiet voice called out, soft and timid as I whirled around, Mingi walking past me instantly.
âYes, Dahyun?â Mingi smiled, previous tension and anger gone from his face, and he crouched in front of his much shorter sister. Dahyun gave me a warry look before poking Mingiâs cheek, giggling.
âMom and dad are wondering where you are,â She muttered, casting me another warry look, âI saw you walking off with the vampire that smells like you, so I told them Iâll bring you back.â
It wasnât hard to notice Mingiâs body freeze at his younger sisterâs words and I scoffed, completely flabbergasted that this little girl could tell I smelled like Mingi. This was the absolute worst, and I was close to simply ceasing my existence once and for all. Before they could say anything to me, I stormed past them, headed back to my table, thinking of excuses I could use to get my parents out of the garden and away from the Song family.
           The past few days have beenâŠsilent, weird, different, empty, almost. They felt unsettling and I found myself unable to sleep at night, and even if I did, I would wake up in a cold sweat, chest heavy and lungs heaving for air. Something just simply didnât feel alright and I knew there was nothing wrong with me per se, with my vampire being, yet something was affecting me rather harshly. And it was noticeable in my appearance as well. No matter how often and how much I fed, my skin looked sickly pale and the glow of my dense hair seemed absent no matter how much I tried fixing it. My cheeks had fallen slightly in, creating a hollowness in them that wasnât there before. I looked like I was decaying and I didnât understand why when I was completely healthy and fine. Yet, something was doing this to me and I couldnât help but blame it on this whole imprinting thing, and Mingi. I havenât seen him since Parents Day, and despite deciding to avoid him for an eternity, it seemed like Mingi had the same thing in mind as me. Even in our shared classes, he was nowhere to be seen. I couldnât even smell him or hear him, yet Yunho was certainly there, his aura very much so present. Nobody said anything, perhaps too afraid to make a comment about my sickly appearance, and I knew I needed answers. I couldnât go on like this anymore despite not wanting to see Mingi. There was something very wrong about my body, something internal and scarily real as the longer I stayed away from him, the stronger the yearning became. The heaviness in my chest only got worse with each ticking minute, and I knew I couldnât go on like this anymore when I started listening in on the creaturesâ conversations around me, searching for Mingiâs name, searching for his voice even, for his infuriatingly loud and obnoxious laughter, his unbearable stench, and his stupid siblings. I needed to put an end to my own suffering, therefore I decided to act like an adult for the first time in my life, and find Mingi in order to talk things through, even if I didnât want to.
History of the Vampires was an excruciatingly long class and I couldnât wait to be finished with it, unable to sit still as my mind kept wandering elsewhere, desperately trying to clock Mingiâs voice or even aura in the building. But it was harder to find him than I thought it would be, almost as if he was hiding himself from me, Yunhoâs strong aura overbearing Mingiâs whenever they were together. And I knew those two were together as I searched for familiar voices conversing, lowering my head so that my professor wouldnât notice my closed eyes as I focused on singling out Mingiâs raspy and deep voice amongst his siblings as they were out in the fields, not too far away from the classroom I was in. Dahyun was talking to him, and it was the first time I heard the younger girlâs voice for such a long period, animatedly retelling a story to Mingi about a boy she liked in her class. At first I thought Mingi wasnât talking to her, until I realized Wooyoung and Yeriâs cackling was too loud for me to pinpoint Mingiâs soft voice as he muttered to Dahyun words I couldnât understand. It felt alarming how easily I found myself wanting to know more about Mingiâs bond with his siblings, wondering whether I would fit in with them. And it was hard to listen to Mingiâs quiet voice as he departed with Yunho from the rest of their siblings, the twins headed to class as Mingiâs aura remained still dull, washed out by Yunhoâs. I didnât think masking oneâs existence was possible, but then again, I didnât know much about werewolves and their abilities as I always remained ignorant to them due to my hatred towards them.
Once class was over I excused myself from my friends in a hurry, finally able to pinpoint Mingiâs exact location as Yunho wasnât so close to him anymore, making it easy for me to follow Mingiâs voice and scent. He was two floors below my classroom, having their own history class about Werewolves. By the time I got to the classroom not many students were there, however, I could hear a few still inside, Mingi included. Closing my eyes as I leaned against the stone wall, I could hear him scribbling something in his notebook, muttering to himself about having forgotten to do his physics homework. Yunho had left Mingi behind, saying that he was becoming restless, and how he needed a run before their next class. The full moon was tonight, I could only assume it had something to do with their moods, werewolves became rather restless in the afternoons on full moon nights. Finally, the last three students left the classroom laughing and whispering to each other, looking back inside, no doubt gawking at Mingi. Something clenched in my stomach, making me hiss at the three girls as they passed in front of me, looking fearful once they noticed who I was. The scurried away and I couldnât help but smirk in glee, that is until I heard Mingi scrambling around the classroom, gathering his things to leave. I took a deep breath and willed myself to push off the wall, hands slightly trembling as I appeared in the doorway just when Mingi was about to step through it.
He gasped; eyes wide. Our gazed connected and I couldnât help but smile at him, tilting my head in wonder as he gulped hard, audibly, licking his chapped lips. There was little distance between our bodies, and he suddenly took three big steps backwards, making my eyebrows furrow in disdain as his comfortable warmth disappeared with him. My heart shouldnât have picked up so fast, racing just at the sight of him, senses flooded with his cinnamon and fresh grass scent. I took a step forward, the door shutting behind me with a loud thud, trapping Mingi and I inside the otherwise empty classroom. The windows were open, a warm fresh breeze slithering inside. It probably wasnât the reason why Mingiâs cheeks were suddenly flushed, gaze averted again as he cleared his throat loudly, as if something was stuck there. I allowed myself a short moment to take in his appearance, and was taken aback to find him sickly looking, dark bags underneath his tired looking eyes, lips chapped to the point of looking painful, and cheeks as hollow as mine. It was startling, and it only raised more questions in my mind as I took a deep breath, the strong cinnamon scent burning the back of my throat.
âWe need to speak,â I spoke up, voice unsure as I continued looking at Mingi, who was still avoiding eye contact, âsomething isâŠhappening to me.â
Ever so slowly, he turned his head, eyes reluctantly falling on me. His thick eyebrows furrowed as his eyes racked my body, then stopped on my face, looking very confused, âWere you avoiding me?â
Mingi hummed, pursing his lips as he cleared his throat, âYes.â
I didnât expect him to be so honest, for some reason it didnât feel nice at all, âHow did you mask yourself so well?â
âA pack can mask their wolves when sensing danger.â Mingi explained, eyes suddenly steeling as he licked his lips again. My eyebrows furrowed, feeling confused all over again.
âAm I a danger to you?â I found myself whispering, looking at Mingi questioningly. Something in my stomach dropped at the prospect of me being the cause of danger to Mingi.
âWith how much you keep threatening me, yes.â I chuckled humorlessly at Mingiâs words, and he looked just as unamused as I felt. His shoulders were slouched forward as he shook his head, looking defeated, âWhat do you want, Y/N?â
âTo talk.â
âThen talk.â
I gulped, feeling off thrown by Mingiâs hostile attitude, acting as if he didnât even want to see me. Hadnât he imprinted on me? Werenât we supposed to be mates now? Why was he being so cold towards me? My heart beat faster, body yearning to feel Mingiâs warmth so desperately that I had to dig my nails in my palms to stop myself from marching up to him and latching myself onto his body.
âEver since youâimprinted on me, I justâI donât know.â I gulped, averting my eyes as Mingiâs sharp gaze bore into mine, âWe havenât seen each other in almost four days and IâI donât feel well, Mingi. Something is happening to me, and I donât understand whatââ
I gasped at how fast Mingi closed the gap between us, orchid-colored eyes boring into mine, making me shrink back in fear. Have I angered him again? Was he going to hurt me? But to my surprise, Mingiâs hand gently cupped my cheek as he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, holding it in his lungs as I remained still, afraid to breathe. Nobody spoke as he slowly exhaled, eyes snapping open, once again brown, staring at me with a newfound softness in them. I gulped, taken aback by the tingles traveling all over my body, cheek warm from Mingiâs palm, a safety bubble nestling around us. I felt complete again, the heaviness in my chest not as strong as before, my heartbeat beating fast like never before, a pull so strong towards Mingi deep in my being that I realized I couldnât ignore it anymore. Mingi licked his lips again, suddenly looking like heâs made up his mind about something, softly exhaling again as he opened his mouth to speak, probably, but I couldnât focus on anything else anymore but the feel of Mingi so close to myself. I didnât need to hear his words in this moment, I needed to feel him. And I did just that as I desperately cupped his cheeks, pressing my lips against his. Mingi froze, unmoving and hand falling from my cheek limply as I squeezed my eyes shut tight, inhaling his comforting scent as our lips molded together.
As I went to pull back, realizing that Mingi wouldnât kiss back, suddenly fingers tangled in my hair and pushed my head back with a newfound force, our lips crashing against each other as Mingi whimpered, not wasting any time as he set a bruising pace. My hands slipped from his cheeks to hug around his neck as I flushed my body against his, sighing into the kiss as my body almost felt like it was lit from the inside, heart fluttering, and the yearning in my stomach turning into a desperate want as the pace of our slick lips quickened, desperately needing more of Mingi. I moaned against his mouth as he captured my bottom lip between his lips, suckling on it softly before licking it, and hovering his lips against mine, breathing through his mouth as shivers racked my spine. My fingers tangled in his hair, which was in a half-up ponytail again, and I quickly got rid of the hair tie as I gently pulled on his soft locks, parting my mouth in permission for Mingi. I could hear his heart beating like crazy, faster than mine even, and in a flash, his tongue was pushing past my lips, tangling with mine, my skin feeling as if it was on fire. Mingi was warm, almost to the point he was burning up, and I failed to notice it getting transferred to my own body as I clung to him, moaning when he skillfully licked inside my mouth, taking his sweet time to suck on my tongue before allowing me to push mine inside his mouth, relishing in the quiet whimpers that left the back of his throat. His hands eagerly explored my body as they slowly slipped towards my backside, squeezing my ass hard through the skirt of my uniform, my eyebrows furrowing as I tried not to moan. With our heads now tilted, I felt myself turn into a puddle as Mingi hiked one of my legâs up before making me jump up, legs squeezing around his waist firmly as I held onto him. Mingi didnât stop kissing me as he walked us towards a desk, gently setting me down as we broke apart for a second to fill our lungs with air.
As he tried to step back, I tightened my legs around his waist and pulled him even closer to myself, biting my lower lip when his heavily ring clad fingers grasped at my left thigh, black tinted nails digging into my flesh. Mingiâs hot puffs of air landed on my lips and I licked mine, failing to notice the lust in Mingiâs eyes as he watched me closely, eyes constantly flickering between brown and orchid. He rested his right hand on the desk, next to my hip, as he pressed his forehead against mine. My breathing was heavy as I realized just how badly I needed to feel all of him, feeling on the verge of craze as he lifted his chin ever so slightly when I went to kiss his lips, making my eyebrows furrow as I whined at the denial. But I quickly was forced to inhale sharply as Mingiâs calloused, big, hand slowly slipped up higher on my thigh, underneath my skirt, making me groan as he massaged the inside of my thigh, my lips attaching to the skin of chin. It was soft despite the little stubble growing out, and Mingi moaned as my lips travelled lower, pressing open mouthed kissed against his neck, his Adamâs apple, nipping at his hot skin at the junction between his neck and collarbones, slightly distracted by Mingiâs grip on my thigh tightening as I slipped a hand under his shirt. His abdomen was firm and his muscles tensed under my fingertips as Mingi looked down at me while breathing heavily as I blinked at him innocently, a soft groan escaping his lips before he crashed his lips against mine.
It felt like my soul was alive again, a fire lit deep in my stomach as our tongues battled for dominance, and I pulled Mingiâs body flush against mine, moaning when I felt his erection press against my core, fingers tangling in his hair once again firmly. Mingi moaned as I pulled on the longer strands around his nape, making me gasp against his lips as he moved his hips, slowly grinding against me. His warm palm slowly slipped from my thigh and I whined at the loss of it, but his hand instead went and gripped my waist firmly, keeping me in place as he moved slowly, dragging his hard-on against my throbbing core. His free hand cupped my covered breast and I moaned into his mouth as his tongue pushed deep inside my mouth, toes curling as he kept grinding against me, setting my skin on fire, his scent intoxicating as the layers separating us became unbearable.
âMingi,â I pulled my head back, moaning as Mingi didnât stop kissing me, latching his lips onto my neck instead, âthis isnât talkingâMingi!â
I yelped as his fangs nipped against the sensitive skin of my neck, making me throw my head back as I gripped his belt, trying to stop him from grinding against me anymore, everything becoming too much.
âMingi,â I tried again, voice breathless as he sucked at a spot under my collarbones harshly, licking it slowly afterwards, âweâre in a classroom, we have to stop.â
âI never thought youâd be a prude.â Mingiâs voice was extremely low as he spoke against my skin, lips like feather as they brushed against my heated body.
âIâm not a prude,â I hissed as Mingiâs hips stilled, but with his hard-on pressing sharply against my clothed core, âbut if a professor walks in, weâre done for.â
Mingi groaned and he raised his head to rest his forehead against my shoulder, taking deep breaths as I licked my lips, staring up at the ceiling as I tried to ignore the desperate need to rip his clothes off and let him take me on this desk. Mingi took a deep breath, which tickled me once he exhaled, and I felt him move as he looked up at me, releasing my waist as he gently cupped my face again, pushing the strands of hair behind my ears, smiling cutely as his cheeks were flushed pink.
âI donât think Iâve ever felt this alive before.â He whispered, truly looking like he felt lighter. It was a little disheartening as I realized that the heaviness was lifted off of my chest, my own skin buzzing with excitement as I felt myself smiling back. The truth was that I felt the same as Mingi, but I was too afraid to admit it. Something was changing and I was afraid to acknowledge it when I spent my whole life hating on the species right in front of me, in between my legs, making my heart swell with his gorgeous smile and cute flush, his deep eyes, and clumsy personality. I was still afraid of werewolves, I still hated them, but I couldnât deny the sudden pull towards Mingi anymore.
âWe have to talk.â I didnât mean to break the serene bubble around us, but we needed to clarify so many things, âI have too many questions, and you have a lot to explain.â
Mingi nodded with a hum, lowering his head, surprising me as he slowly nuzzled his cheek against mine, inhaling deeply, making me blush as the endearing action. Nobody has ever done that before, and it made my skin jittery as it felt good.
âI promise we will talk, but tonightâs the full moon and my mind is all fogged-up, Y/N,â Mingi explained as he gave me an awkward smile, âI canât exactlyâŠthink right now, if you know what I mean. And I donât want to do something weâd both regret later. All I can think about is marking you right now, and that needs a serious conversation first.â
My heart jumped in fright at the mention of marking, and I gulped as I slowly nodded my head, realizing finally that Mingi had no malicious intentions towards me. If he did, he wouldnât be saying things like that, nor treating me gently. I offered him a small smile and he chuckled, leaning down to press a lasting kiss against my lips.
âItâs a shame we must stop, but,â Mingi smiled cheekily as he removed himself from my body, much to my dismay, âI have to go to class, Iâm already late, and I know Yunho will come looking for me in exactly three minutes.â
I chuckled as I watched Mingi try and straighten his clothes, brushing through his long strands, searching for the hair tie, which seemed to be gone. I grinned as he gave up searching for it, instead went and grabbed his backpack discarded on the floor.
âSee you tomorrow?â He raised his eyebrows, still adjusting his messy hair, âWhen Iâm not thinking with my dick?â
I snorted, nodding my head as I licked my lips and crossed my legs, remaining seated on top of the desk, âSee you tomorrow after lunch break, I know you have a free period.â
âSomeoneâs been stalking me, huh?â Mingi smirked as I looked away embarrassed, gulping before I admitted a little secret of mine.
âWhen you spend so much time hating on someone, itâs alarming how much you learn about them.â Mingiâs smirk only widened to my horror, completely amused by my admission, instead of feeling hurt or even angry.
âWhat a little freak I have to deal withââ
âIâm not a freak!â I exclaimed in irritation, making Mingi chuckle as he walked backwards towards the door.
âWeâll see after I find out more about you,â He winked as he opened the door, âTake care, doll.â
I rolled my eyes as my face flushed at the pet name, and my eyes stayed glued to the door even after Mingi was long gone, his footsteps faded as he made his way towards his classroom, Yunho making a ruckus as to why he was late and why he looked so shaken up. I chuckled and fell backwards on the desk, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly as I raised my hands, playing with the black hair tie around my wrist. This was becoming real, wasnât it?
           I bobbed my head to the music as I wrote down some more numbers, rubbing my forehead as I had been doing equations for more than an hour now. It was late in the evening, and after Irene and I studied for a while together, she said she needed to go somewhere, and left around half an hour ago. She promised sheâd be back early tonight and we could have a girlâs night, but I had my doubts about that as I knew she was with Seulgi. It didnât bother me as much as it normally wouldâve as my mind was distracted with thoughts of Mingi, impatiently waiting for tomorrow to arrive so that weâd finally discuss where thisâŠsomethingâŠwas headed between us. The wind had picked up and it was rattling the old hinges of the window, and I turned my head to look out the window, lightning in the distance. A storm was coming, and the dark clouds made it hard to spot the full moon, but its light was strong enough to pinpoint it on the dark sky.
As I started solving another equation, the guitar in the song I was listening to was soft and calming, but there were rapid knocks against the door of the room, disturbing my peace, making me look towards it with furrowed eyebrows. It was almost eight in the evening, slowly we were approaching curfew. Only the wolves were allowed outside past curfew tonight, so it made me wonder who it could have been. I placed my pen down and pushed away from my desk, standing and stretching my stiff muscles as I went to swing the door open. I was rather surprised to find a short, dark haired, girl standing in the hallway, chewing on her lower lip as she looked up at me. We stared at each other for a few seconds, me flabbergasted to find Dahyun standing in my doorway, and the little girl staring past me, inside my room, wonderingly.
âUh, what are you doing here?â I asked confused, eyebrows furrowing.
âIs Mingi here?â She asked quietly, trying to look inside my room again.
âNo, why?â I answered curtly, watching the girl warily.
âAre you sure?â She pressed, looking up with a glare at me, âAre you lying to me?â
I scoffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest as a rather strong gust of wind rattled the windows out in the hallway. The lights flickered for a second, making both Dahyun and I pause as we looked around.
âWhy would I lie to you?â I asked once Dahyun faced me again, and I rolled my eyes when the girl continued glaring at me, âBe my guest and have a look inside my room. I havenât seen Mingi, why would I even know where he is? Isnât he your brother?â
Dahyun didnât seem too happy with my answer, and suddenly her small hand grabbed mine and I was yanked down with such force that I gasped, taken aback by just how strong the little werewolf girl was. I stiffened when her face suddenly pressed forward, nose pressing against the junction between my neck and collarbone, inhaling deeply.
âWhatâwhat are you doing?â I stuttered, brushing the girl off, feeling weirded out.
âMingi scented you.â The girl said, eyebrows furrowing as she took a step back, taking me in fully, âYou smell like him, thatâs why I thought he was here.â
I felt rather confused as I smelled myself, but felt no scent of Mingi on myself. What did she mean that he scented me? Wasnât that a werewolf thing? How could he even scent a vampire? When did he do it that I didnât even notice?
âI donât smell like him.â I objected, glaring down at the girl as she looked suddenly scared when there was a flash of lightning in the distance. I opened my mouth to send her off, but the way she latched onto my arm and looked up at me pleadingly made me pause.
âI canât feel Mingiâs scent,â The little girl whimpered, âand a storm is coming, Iâm scared. Mingi always tucks me in before bed, and Iâve searched for him everywhere and I canât find him.â
I felt awkward as I cleared my throat, not knowing how to comfort the distressed girl, âUh, well, you have many siblings. Go find them.â
âI need to find Mingi.â Dahyun stressed, âI know where Yunho is as I can feel his aura and smell his scent, but for some reason Mingiâs gone. Iâm scared something happened to him, Y/N.â
I gulped, suddenly fearing the same as I tried to listen closely as I searched for Mingiâs voice in the vicinity, but came up empty handed. I sighed as I continued looking at the girl, who started shaking now, and I shook my head, âWooyoung and Yeri will certainly help you.â
âWooyoung is also shifting tonight and Yeri didnât even open the door when I told her it was me knocking,â My eyebrows furrowed at the cruelty of her older sister, feeling a sneer wanting to settle on my face, âCan you help me, please?â
Perhaps the sweet, and teary, puppy eyes staring up into mine were what broke my resolve as I sighed and nodded tiredly, watching a smile appear on Dahyunâs face, âWhere should I look for Mingi?â
âThey are usually at the shed at this time.â She said, detaching herself from me. My eyebrows furrowed as my heart lightly picked up, mouth going dry at the prospect of having to step outside during a full moon while the campus was littered with wild, animalistic, werewolves running around freely.
âI canât go out there, Iâm sorry.â I muttered, eyebrows furrowed, âThe whole place is infested with werewolves and Iââ
âThey havenât shifted yet, I promise.â Dahyun quickly interjected, âMingi always struggles shifting, and Yunho always waits for him. Please, itâs not dangerous to look for them, they are very docile and still recognize everyone in their wolf forms. Please, Y/N, please.â
I gulped and looked outside through the window behind Dahyun, feeling a coldness seep through my bones the longer I thought about this stupid request. But I couldnât deny that I also felt worried for Mingi now, and one more look at Dahyun had me giving in, âAlright, wait here, and Iâll go look for Mingi. If Irene, my roommate, comes back, tell her that I let you stay here until I come back, okay?â
âYes, thank you very much!â Dahyun almost cried in happiness as she walked inside my room, making me sigh again as I grabbed my light cardigan, wrapping it around myself tightly as I left the room. I tied my hair with the black hair tie forgotten on my wrist as I knew the harsh wind would whip it all around in my face.
           Perhaps coming out to the shed in a long skirt and a t-shirt with nothing but a cardigan on in such violent wind wasnât the brightest idea as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to warm myself by rubbing my hands up and down quickly. However, it offered little to no warmth, and I shivered as I heard howling in the distance, my skirt getting caught in dry weed as I hissed, tumbling a little forward and into the door of the shed. At least I have finally reached it. It isnât too far from the dorms, but itâs on the outskirts of the forest, and I could feel my heartbeat picking up as I knocked on the door loudly.
âMingi?!â I called out over the loud wind, carefully pushing the door open, sticking my head inside to see if anyone was in. But it seemed empty and I took a warry step inside, feeling my eyes turn scarlet as my senses spiked as I felt on edge so exposed and alone. I slowly walked further inside, scanning the shed, but Mingiâs scent was absent, and he was nowhere to be seen as well. I sighed as I tightened the cardigan around myself and leaned over the table discarded in the middle of the room, finding clothes scattered around. I could smell the stench of wet dog, yet Mingiâs scent was absent. Maybe it werenât his clothes, however the disregarded chains looked a lot like his necklaces. I sighed, and went to turn around when the old floorboard creaked up front, making me freeze. I slowly raised my head, looking around again, feeling my heartbeat quicken even more.
âMingi?â I whispered, chewing on my bottom lip in fear, my breath coming in short as there was another creak. Just as I opened my mouth to call out his name again, two glowing orchid-colored eyes appeared in the dense darkness, making me gasp loudly as my hands slapped against the desk as they fell from around my body. I stared into the beasts eyes as it stepped forward from the shadows, form huge and menacing as its fangs were long. Its fur was midnight black and thick, scent completely unrecognizable as I tried to sniff around for Mingi. My body trembled as we looked each other dead in the eyes, memories of that dreadful night flashing in my mind.
The weather had been similar, wind blowing harshly and a distant rumble in the skies as the storm was fast approaching. I was playing in the flower field on our propriety, gathering flowers before the pouring rain arrived, humming a song to myself, oblivious to the world around myself. I had turned five years old just a few days ago, I had no worries in the world, nothing to be afraid of. That is until I realized something was snarling not too far away from me, staring at me piercingly, as I giggled while playing with my imaginary friends. It wasnât a full moon, but for rogue werewolves it didnât matter whether it was day or night, full moon or not. Just as I was about to turn around and leave for the mansion, it pounced on me, snarling in my face as I was pinned to the cold ground, shrieking and screaming as its saliva dripped on me. I could still remember, and feel, the pure terror that coursed through my whole being, screaming and calling for my parents to help me. The werewolf didnât like that I was being so loud, or a vampire, and it bared its teeth at me when I started crying, begging it to let me go. The rogue wolf was scary and strong, no matter how hard I tried to escape, I couldnât. It happened in a flash, itâs claws pressing painfully against my chest as its teeth ripped through the skin of my forearm, making me cry out so loudly that I thought I broke my vocal cords. It felt as if someone pushed a burning rod inside my body one after another, two sharp needles ripping your skin apart, tearing you up from the inside. My body started convulsing as I continued screaming, mind hazy and breathing ragged from the excruciating pain. I didnât remember much after that, only waking up numb in the hospital, tubes connected to my left arm and bicep bandaged tightly, my mother sitting at my side, and only crying harder when she saw I had opened my eyes. The second my father walked in with the werewolf doctor is when everything suddenly dawned on me, sending me into a hysterical fit, to the point I needed to be sedated, trembling and crying out for the poor doctor to stay away from me. It was a trauma I was forced to live with, and I could never actually put it past myself, that pain forever present in the back of my mind as my faded bite mark started pulsing painfully once again.
I took a slow step backwards, barely even moving, but the werewolf caught it and suddenly snarled, making me jump in terror as even my head started shaking violently in fear. I was taken back to that day, when I was a defenseless little girl, almost killed by a monster so similar to the one facing me right now. My attacker had black fur with white patches, I could never forget its fur and orchid eyes. I knew wolves had the urge to chase their prey once they started running, but it was either I stayed here and surely died, or tried to run and save myself. I acted upon realizing I wasnât ready to die at the claws of this monster, and turned swiftly, taking off as I heard the werewolf howl behind me, jumping over the table to chase after me. I screamed when I realized he was really after me, snarling and howling every few minutes, a lot faster than I had anticipated. I had to grip my skirt and raise it above my knees as my lungs burned and muscles strained, never having ran this fast before in my life. My mind was only focused on saving myself, on taking me far away from danger. I didnât realize that I was running further inside the forest instead of heading towards the dorms, where the werewolves were forbidden of entering once they have shifted.
I ran even faster as my sensitive ears picked up on the loud thuds the werewolf was making as it chased after me, snarling louder, sounding completely furious as I was gasping for air, lungs completely empty and begging for me to take a breather, but if I stopped, I would die. I pushed even more, using my inhumane speed to try and get rid of the beast, but it seemed like it did nothing as the wolf chased after me without sounding tired and nowhere near of giving up on its pursuit of me. I was becoming desperate, I couldnât go on like this for much longer, my body was shaking despite me running. I was filled with adrenaline, heart pumping my blood fast as I ran for my life, until I felt the werewolf nipping at the back of my skirt with its large teeth, making me cry out in fright. I turned my head to see the distance between us, but it was a foolish action as it caused me to lose my footing, tripping in the huge twigs scattered around the forest floor, sending me to the ground with a painful tumble. I cried out as I felt my skin scrape through my cardigan, even if it would heal in mere seconds, it was still painful. I hadnât even realized that I have started crying, and now that the werewolf was just a foot behind me, snarling and hissing at me animalistically, I started crying loudly, trying to get away from it until my back hit a tree.
âPlease,â I whimpered, jumping when the wolf growled at me, staring me menacingly in the eyes. I shook my head and pressed my hands against my mouth, lungs heaving for air as my whole body shook, eyes filled to the brim with tears, my vision blurry, âMingi!â
I didnât understand why I called out his name, but I found myself desperately clinging onto his name as if it would save me, as if it would send the werewolf away, âMingi! Please, Mingi! Help!â
My screams were shrill and my throat hurt, but it only made me shake more as the black wolf growled and almost jumped at me, hitting its paws against the forest floor annoyed, hissing, and puffing. I could feel the pain I felt that day, spreading from my bicep down to my arm, infecting my brain with that excruciating ache, and I started sobbing as I pressed my head against my knees, curling up in a ball as if it wouldâve protected me from the beast. I didnât even realize it in that moment, but I started calling out Mingiâs name as if it were a mantra, praying to all celestial powers that he would show up and save me from this monster, which was coming closer and closer, its hisses and growls louder by the second. I hate werewolves, I hate them so much, yet I was calling out the name of one until my throat was too dry to scream anymore. Only my sobs could be heard around us, and the scream I let out when I felt arms wrapping around me, sending me into a panicked state as I trashed around, trying to fight the grip they had on me off. I couldnât hear and I couldnât see due to the deep-rooted fear I felt, that is, until a faint voice slowly started getting to me, my brain registering the familiar rasp of it, the deep tone I was used to hearing.
âY/N, Y/N, please, itâs me,â The voice was soft and scared, sounding almost like it was talking to a scared little child, âItâs me, Y/N, Mingi. Iâm Mingi, youâre safe, pleaseââ
My arms flew around Mingiâs neck as I threw myself at him, gasping for air loudly as I clung to him to the point my nails dug into his naked shoulders, drawing blood. Mingiâs body felt warm, muscles stiff, but he instantly cradled me against himself, fingers tangling in my hair as he started quietly shushing me. I continued to cry for a few more minutes, hard to completely calm down, but Mingiâs warmth and reassuring words seemed to get my heartrate back to normal, making me forget the panic I felt just minutes ago.
âYouâre alright, Iâm here.â Mingiâs nose pressed into my hair, lips barely brushing against my ear as he whispered quietly into it, âYouâre safe, Iâm here. Nothing will hurt you, Y/N, you can calm down now. Iâm here, I got you.â
I let out a shuddered breath as I closed my eyes, pressing my face into Mingiâs neck and inhaling his comforting scent, feeling my muscles ease up as Mingiâs fingers brushed through my disheveled hair, pressing kisses against my temple. I took a deep breath and let out a long sigh, heart still beating fast, and body on high alert as the adrenaline didnât leave me yet.
âMingi.â I croaked out, slowly pulling my head back to look at him, feeling my lips tremble as I realized just how terrified I had been, âI was soââ
âItâs okay now,â Mingi cut me off with a small smile, expression soft as he nuzzled his nose against mine, closing his eyes for a second, âYou donât have to talk. Just sit in my arms and calm down.â
âMingi,â I whispered, feeling the need to cry again, but I forced the tears away just as Mingiâs cheek touched mine, and he nuzzled them together just like he had done earlier today, in the classroom, âThank you. Iâm so sorry.â
Mingi looked confused once he pulled back, but when he noticed I was looking at the bloody nail marks on his shoulders, he just chuckled and shrugged, âDonât worry, Iâve been roughed up way worse before.â
I looked into his eyes again and loosened my suffocating grip around him, but still clung onto him, overlooking the fact that he was completely naked. I was still trembling and afraid, I wasnât physically able to let go of him yet. And just then, there was a growl to our right, and I gasped as I turned my head and saw the black werewolf standing there, eyes set sharply on Mingi. My body started shaking violently again and I felt my fight or flight kick in again, but Mingi held me strongly against himself, caging me against his body as he hugged me tightly, shushing me when I tried to speak up.
âYou, asshole!â Mingi hissed towards the werewolf, making my eyes widen, âWhat is wrong with you, Yunho?!â
My eyes widened as I snapped my head towards the wolf, finding him shuffling on his four legs, snarling his teeth at us.
âWhy would you chase her, are you nuts?!â Mingiâs voice was raising, I could feel his heartrate quicken underneath my cold hand, âYou know she has some sort of trauma with werewolves and you go chasing her around the fucking forest, during a full moon, you idiot!â
Mingiâs words were sharp, and it was visible on his face that he was beyond pissed as he snarled his own fangs at the black werewolf, which was Yunho, apparently. I remained silent as I watched the exchange between the twins, one in human form, the other in werewolf form, my muscles tense but not like before as I realized I was away from danger now. There was a whimper and I cast my eyes upon Yunho, who was looking down at the forest floor, dragging his front paws as if he was asking for forgiveness.
âWeâll talk about this tomorrow, dude,â Mingi snapped, shaking his head in disappointment, âIâm done running around for tonight, go find Wooyoung or someone else. And donât come back tonight to the dorm after youâre done being an asshole. Get lost!â
I watched with an open mouth as the big, black, and scary werewolf hung its head even lower, cries and whimpers leaving its mouth as it started jumping around, pressing its front paws forcefully and harshly into the solid soil.
âStop throwing a fit, Yunho.â Mingi said with a roll of his eyes, his hands rubbing my back up and down in a comforting manner, âI wonât tell you to get lost again.â
The werewolf growled, but it lacked power and menace as he cast us one lasting stare before it turned around and ran off with loud howls, making Mingi roll his eyes again before he looked back at me. He had an apologetic look on his face and I sniffed, snot threatening to come out of my nose due to the extensive crying I had done tonight. Mingiâs hands cupped my face again and he gently wiped the fresh tears off, pressing kisses against my cheeks before he pressed a soft one against my lips, my eyes falling shut at the plushness of his warm and soft lips.
âIâm sorry about that,â Mingi sighed, sounding ashamed and disappointed, âYunho can be a huge idiot. He thought chasing you around was a way to get back at you, but I donât find it funny at all.â
I gulped and nodded wordlessly, clearing my throat despite it feeling sore, âHow did you knowâŠabout my traumaâŠâ
Mingi hummed, sitting back and gently pulling me in his lap, my cheeks flushing as he sat naked, looking quite unbothered, as I forced myself to look at his face only, preferably in his warm brown eyes.
âWell, first of all, the bite mark.â Mingi explained, gently touching where my mark was, looking sad, âAnd well, you know, the whole hatred towards us and all that shit, itâs not hard to put two and two together.â
âIâm sorry.â I found myself whispering, feeling ashamed of myself all of a sudden.
âHey, donât be, itâs alrightââ
âItâs not,â I cut him off, eyes hardening as I gulped, âI put you through so much just because Iâm traumatized, and you have nothing to do with it. Iâm a horrible creature.â
âI canât imagine what you mustâve went through to feel so strongly against us,â Mingiâs fingers intertwined with mine as he rested our hands in my lap, âAnd I never blamed you for it one second. Of course, your bullying did get too much at times, but I always had my family to back me up and reassure me. I never had a problem with you bothering me as long as you left my family one.â
My cheeks turned pink as I looked to the side, biting my lower lip as Mingi chuckled. I blushed even harder when he leaned closer and kissed my cheek again, âI guess you always had a thing for me.â
âShut up, Mingi,â I groaned, looking him in the eyes again, âThis is so not the moment nor place to turn cocky on me.â
âI could turn into only one thing right now,â Mingi chuckled, eyes flashing an orchid-color, âBut I think the cocky thing is something we could take care of fasterââ
âSong Mingi!â I slapped his hard chest, glaring at him for saying such things while I sat in his naked lap. Mingi cackled, biting his lower lip once he was done, watching me amused as I tried to get off his lap, but he didnât let me.
âGlad to see you calm and comfortable again,â Mingi mused, grinning as he ruffled my hair, making it even worse than it already was from all the running, âbut I must ask, why the hell were you even outside on a full moon, Y/N?â
âBecause of your stupid sisterââ I cleared my throat quickly, âI mean, sweet sister, Dahyun. She said she couldnât feel your scent and was scared of the approaching storm. Plus that you tuck her in every night, soâŠâ
Mingi sighed loudly, looking up at the dark sky. I looked around us, realizing that the sky was rumbling, the lightning just above our heads. I was too distracted to realize that the storm was minutes away from starting.
âThat silly girl,â Mingi muttered, chuckling as he gently pushed me off himself, âI hate to tell you, but she was only pranking you, a plan probably elaborated with Yunhoââ
âWhat?!â I exclaimed as I scurried off to my feet, gaping at Mingi as he chuckled, rubbing his nape.
âYeah, well, uhâŠyou know, she hasnât let me inside her room since she was in fourth grade, which was likeâŠfour years ago.â Mingi pursed his lips, also standing, the view quite a sight as I quickly plastered my gaze on his face only, âShe didnât lie about the storm though as she usually comes to me for comfort. She mustâve gotten scared and went looking for me, having a pretext to send you outside.â
âWhy couldnât she feel your scent, then?â I asked as Mingi suddenly swept me off of my feet, making me yelp as I clung onto him as he held me bridal style.
âI donât know,â Mingi shrugged, looking nonchalant, âMy scent comes and goes sometimes when I shift.â
âOh,â I muttered, giving Mingi a questioning gaze as he started walking through the forest, headed back to the shed, âWhat are you doing?â
âTaking you back to the dorms.â He said with a smile, a mischievous glint in his eyes, âYou certainly mustâve grown thirsty after seeing me in all of my naked glory.â
âMingi.â I blanched, giving him a deadpan look, âYou better put me down right now.â
âHmm, let me think about it,â He pursed his lips mockingly, looking up towards the sky, âNo.â
âMingiââ
âIâll put you down once weâre in my room.â He winked, and something coiled in my stomach as I gulped.
âYour room?â I mused, looking at him with wide eyes.
âOf course, donât think Iâm leaving you alone tonight, what if the big, scary, black wolf comes back to eat you?â He cackled and I smacked his chest hard, making him groan in pain.
âYouâre making me think you were in on the plan too.â I hissed, glaring at his perfect jawline. Mingi chuckled and just shook his head, giving me a pointed stare.
âTormenting my mate isnât top of my list, you know?â
âWeâre not mates.â I muttered.
âYet.â Mingi grinned.
âEver.â I hissed and Mingi licked his lips before biting his bottom lip, his heart thumping just a little bit faster as I could feel his giddiness radiate off of him.
âDo you know you drank my blood when we slept togetherââ
âWhat?!â I snapped mortified, almost jumping out of his arms, âI did not!â
âUh, yes, you did.â Mingi chuckled, wriggling his head at me funnily, âI found two little punctures at the base of my neck.â
I felt mortified hearing that, face turning completely red and muscles tensing. It wasnât forbidden to feed off of other night creatures, itâs just that it was a very intimate action, usually only practiced between vampire lovers.
âYou know, itâs funny,â Mingiâs eyes were glinting as he looked down at me, âItâs where my scent gland is, the spot where werewolves mark each other when matingââ
âMingi, please, stop.â I pressed a hand against his mouth, completely and utterly embarrassed. But he licked my palm, making me yelp as I ripped my hand away from his mouth.
âI think you triggered my imprinting, isnât that the funniest thing ever?â
âOh, my fucking God,â I wailed, squeezing my eyes shut in mortification, âKill me right now, Mingi.â
âCanât do that, doll, not when youâre the love of my life.â Mingi chuckled, nearing the edge of the forest finally.
âStop spewing non-sense,â Yet I felt my heart beat just a little faster, cheeks heating up hearing his words, âI thought we agreed to talk about this whole thing tomorrow.â
âTrue,â Mingi hummed, smiling contently, âSo, howâs your memory?â
âWhy?â I raised an eyebrow in suspicion as Mingi smirked, looking ahead.
âMineâs a little foggy, thatâs why.â He said nonchalantly, making me gulp as I had a hunch what he was talking about.
âWell, so is mine.â I said in a small voice, Mingiâs attractive face turned downwards as his sharp eyes bore into mine, plump lips pulled into the most attractive smirk I had ever seen.
âGood, I think itâs time we give it a refresh, then,â He whispered seductively, leaning just a little closer, âYou know, make sure we donât forget this time, not even the littlest details.â
My mouth went dry and I felt my stomach coil at his suggestion, and all I could do was nod at him speechless, licking my lips as a warm feeling washed over me, going straight to my core. Mingiâs eyes were glinting and he chuckled, kicking the shedâs door open as he walked us inside.
I donât think there was a single thing I wouldâve been able to forget about Song Mingi, even after having lived for an eternity.
âĄÂ Masterlist âĄÂ
#bvidzsoo#cromernet#mingi x reader#song mingi x reader#mingi smut#song mingi smut#mingi fluff#song mingi fluff#mingi angst#song mingi angst#song mingi#mingi ateez#mingi oneshot#song mingi oneshot#ateez smut#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez fanfic#ateez oneshot#ateez x reader#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez werewolf au#ateez vampire au#kim hongjoong#park seonghwa#jeong yunho#kang yeosang#choi san#jung wooyoung
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so sorry for this (very) specific request hope it's not ocish
anyways alastor x wife reader who's a virologist / kinda a mad scientist??(girl just wants to start a apocalypse without anyone to bother her)
Like they got married for mutual benefits (whatever benefits he would gain and her having access to money for her wildest dreams) when they were humans (whether he actually loves her or not is up to you lmao)
They both die (I assume that she would die around when he died from her own negligence caused by her 'freedom' to do her work more often without actually worrying about him finding out) and she avoids him like the plague (not that hard to realize this so called radio demon is your 'husband' when you find his secret stash of 'local cuisine' in the fridge)
Then he goes missing and she finally kinda goes out of makeshift hiding, just chilling doing her evil deeds before finding about the Hazbin Hotel from some gossip
Deciding that, while redemption is most likely not gonna happen mostly for the fact she does not care, she joins Charlie's little program. For her own little project (just wants to have a angel test subject, gotta see if they can be a good carrier for her little virus)
The reader doesn't know that Alastor's back (you think she's gonna use vox tech? Or listen to the radio? Girl uses a non vox tech phone and maybe a computer and does her work) so she goes and knocks on the door to the hotel
Thinking that this shit is gonna be easy, after all her husband is gone so she won't be bothered by him. She can focus on her beautiful creations and maybe destory hell and heaven with a apocalypse for some laughs. While also getting access to heaven through Charlie somehow (maybe even Lucifer, girl doesn't know nor care)
Anyways you can just IMAGINE her surprise that right after Charlie greets her (Vaggie ofc suspicious af cause she knows damn well no sinner wants to be redeemed for the most part) then here comes the strawberry pimp coming to say hello
Would he recognize his lovely wife? Maybe
Ofc reader had a plan, and by plan I mean she just says they were married and now acts like their divorced (death do us part and we fuckin dead)
(Just for example, do what you want <3)
Anyways I'm sorry again (can you tell that I've been watching a lot of mlp infection aus :') )
A/N bestie,, i love an overly detailed request. no apologies. i hope i did it justice <3 <3 I have literally been obsessing over the whole 'we're dead. we've been parted.' reader idea. It's so fun. Also I am very sorry it took me so long to get to this. Also, I am not a woman nor am I in STEM (I'm an enby in history) so apologies if science stuff in this is bad. I'm basing the character off of Entrapta (my love) from Nate Stevenson's She-Ra remake.
Till Death Do Us Part (Alastor x Mad Scientist!Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Gore. Murder. Bodies. Animal cruelty (not detailed at all just like test subjects and burning ants as a kid). Viruses/plague talk. Just capital d Death all around in this one folks. Suicide and starvation briefly mentioned.
Word Count: 2,584
Master Lists:
Master ListsÂ
Hazbin Hotel Master List
Y/n hadn't been sad when Alastor died. It didn't really even register on her radar that he was gone until the police showed up at her door. Their marriage was more of an agreement than anything else, a division of labor. Y/n was a talented virologist who came from a rather wealthy family. He got access to her money, using it to start his own radio studio, and Y/n? Well Y/n got a clean up crew.
She had always been fascinated by death. It was a morbid curiosity that had followed her since childhood. The typical 'burning ants with a magnifying glass to mass murderer' pipeline only, murder was not exactly her objective. Since learning of the Black Death in school, she had been fascinated by biological warfare and weaponry. The stories of soldiers throwing infected bodies over the walls of city's to break down their defenses? It was magnificent, masterful, absolutely awe inspiring. Living through the Spanish Flu epidemic in 1918, watching how it tore through her city of New Orleans, only furthered her determination.
As soon as she had had the knowledge base to do so, she began working on bio-weapons on her own. She wanted to create a disease, to devastate the world. She wanted to watch the things around her crumble into ruin and know it was by her hand.
She'd found out about Alastor's hobby by accident. They were friends, of a sort, in that Y/n would show up randomly where ever he was and quiz him about radio waves. He worked at a radio station and she knew that. She had followed him, tracked him down. There was no reasoning behind it save he was the first person she'd really found out about that was involved in the business in New Orleans. She would pick his mind about getting the word out about things, marketing, advertising. She was prepping for the main event, for the day she finally created her magnum opus.
One day, when she had shown up unannounced at his door and broken in when he didn't respond to her knocking, Y/n had discovered him dismembering one of his victims. Alastor had stared at her, wide eyed in shock, fear and adrenaline mixing into an intoxicating combination in his veins. Y/n had just smiled.
She had been wondering about human experimentation for a while now. Animals were easy to cover up, easy to bury in the back yard but people? It had always been too risky, up until now anyways.
So it went like this: Y/n funded Alastor's dreams and he hid the side effects of hers. When he died, Y/n didn't really feel anything too strongly about it at all. Yes, it made life harder in that if she wanted to keep using human guinea pigs she'd have to figure out a way to dispose of them on her own but it also made it easier. Alastor had always been so obsessed with image, dragging her to office parties and forcing her to sit down to meals with him. Now that he was gone, she could work on her projects in peace once again. The body thing was something she would figure out along the way. She was smart and she wasn't going to let something like that stop her, not when she was this close to cracking it.
As it turns out, Alastor had been more of a help than Y/n believed. So used to his nattering and persistence, she had stopped eating. It wasn't long before she joined her husband in death. The papers of course had a field day with it. Heiress and Virologist Y/n L/n Withers Away Due to Heartbreak. Y/n L/n Starved Herself to Death and Joins her Murderer of a Husband. Virologist Commits Suicide After Revelation of Dead Husband's Criminal Deeds.
When Y/n had woken up in Hell, her whole world had been turned upside down. If there was life after death, what was the point of killing everyone on earth? She was back at square one.
Rumors were already buzzing through the streets of Hell about some new overlord, some Radio Demon, who had a strikingly similar MO to her husband. Not wanting any distractions this time around, Y/n secluded herself in the outskirts of the pride ring to reformulate her plans.
For decades she worked, trying to create a poison to wipe out the dual planes of the underworld. Work was easier here. No one questioned why she bought the things she bought, no one got upset when people went missing. Hell, no one even blinked twice if they saw her burying a body. It was a veritable paradise for Y/n.
Eventually, news reached her of the Radio Demon's disappearance. Y/n had never been the biggest fan of technology that wasn't involved in her work. In the world of the living, she had barley read the papers. All the machines in her laboratory were ones she had built herself through trial and error. But still, somehow, the news reached her and she felt elated. The last thing weighing her down, the last road block had officially been lifted.
Within seven years, she had perfected the disease. Having run tests on lower rings of Hell, she prided herself on her ability to make it so infections, so deadly. The survival was on par with that of unvaccinated human's infected by rabies. But her plan wasn't complete, no. Taking out everyone in Hell wasn't good enough, she had to figure out how to get it into Heaven as well.
That was when the perfect opportunity fell in her lap. Y/n nearly cried when she caught sight of the interview through the window of a shop selling Vox branded TVs. Charlie Morningstar, Lucifer's little brat, was creating a hotel for sinners, where they could be rehabilitated and sent to Heaven. It was perfect, almost too perfect. Y/n didn't question it, her own excitement blinding her. She barley even took the time to come up with a plan that consisted of more than get into the hotel and get her hands on an angel. She figured that was something that could be dealt with later on.
After a few days of research and snooping, she finally made her move. Having packed her bags and woven her way through the streets of Pentagram City, she found herself before the brightly lit marquee of the Hazbin Hotel. Placing her bag on the ground beside her, the test tubes and various paraphernalia inside clinked gently against one another. Raising her hand, she knocked on the door.
It was Charlie herself who answered, with wide eyes and an earnest smile. A smaller moth demon beside her crossed her arms, eyeing Y/n with doubt. It barley registered with the excitable demon, she was used to the strange looks. The new form Hell had granted her with when she died was odd, after all. She was still the same height, still held a roughly human shape, but her hair had become its own beast. It moved like secondary limbs, falling nearly to the floor from the pigtails she had tied it up into. It shot up into the air around her in joy at the sight of yet another open door in her path, this one literal rather than figurative.
"Hello!" Charlie exclaimed, "Are you here to check in?"
"Yes, check in." Y/n nodded, using her hair to pick her bag back up.
She took a step forward, trying to enter the hotel, but found her path blocked by the smaller grey demon. Her arms were uncrossed now, one of them pointing a spear right at Y/n's neck. Y/n didn't flinch, she simply looked down at it in curiosity, reaching a finger up to touch the end.
"Ow." she said flatly as the spear's tip pressed into the pad of her finger.
Raising it to her eyes, she rubbed the droplet of blood that had pooled on her pointer finger with her thumb before turning back to the spear.
"Is this..." Y/n leaned forward, grabbing the spear's shaft.
"Hey!" Vaggie yelled threateningly as Y/n crouched down, examining the weapon carefully.
"Oh my stars, this is an angelic blade, isn't it?" she exclaimed, her eyes still fixed on the spear.
"Uh..."
Vaggie was more confused now than anything and she took the slightest step away from the excited demon. Y/n followed her and soon, they were in the entry way to the hotel. Charlie watched the scene play out with mild amusement, finding her girlfriends bewildered state rather charming. She let the door fall shut.
"It is, isn't it?" Y/n asked again, "But how did you get it? Did you make it? What do you do with it? Is it more effective than normal weapons? Why a spear? I-"
"What's this, we have a new guest?" a crackling voice cut Y/n off.
"Uh, yes!" Charlie stepped in, turning to face the newcomer.
Y/n, still preoccupied with the spear, was now engaged in trying to get Vaggie to let her hold it.
"I think..." Charlie doubtfully added, her brow furrowing at the site.
"Well well well, a little devil." Alastor hummed, turning to watch the show as well, "Honestly, reminds me of someone I knew back when I was alive and kicking. Ah well, what's her name?"
"I don't... actually know that yet." Charlie admitted, fiddling with her hands a bit as she spoke, "But she seems really enthusiastic about being here!"
"It seems she more interested in that spear of Vaggie's than the idea of redemption." Alastor noted in response.
"Are either of you going to help me or are you just gonna sit and watch?" Vaggie exclaimed, trying her best to pry the spear out of Y/n's grip.
Alastor sighed and with a twirl of his microphone, a shadow arose, pulling Y/n off Vaggie. There was a split second where the smile on the girl's face fell. It quickly returned as she caught sight of what exactly had interrupted her escapades. Placing her bag on the floor with her hair, she wormed around in the shadow's arms, turning to face it. Tentatively, she poked it.
"Would you stop that?" Alastor asked, his voice thick with irritation.
Y/n poked the shadow again.
"What is this? How are you doing this?"
When no response came from the demon in question, she at last turned to face him.
"Oh."
She stilled in her movements and Alastor allowed the shadow to disappear.
"No reason to be scared." Charlie quickly stepped in, "I know Alastor here has a bit of a... reputation, but he is actually helping us at the hotel. He's really a great once you get to know him."
Alastor's smile widened as he bowed his head slightly in recognition of the praise.
"If you're going to be staying her-"
"You can't seriously be thinking of letting her stay here, Charlie." Vaggie cut in, "She's been here what, five minutes? And all thats come of it is chaos."
"Vaggie, come on, don't be like that." Charlie turned to her girlfriend, "Everyone deserves a second chance, that's the whole reason we built this place."
"But does she even want to be redeemed? I mean, what if she's... I don't know, trying to take us down from the inside out? What if she's a journalist or some shit trying to write us bad reviews?"
"You flatter me." Y/n smiled and Vaggie scoffed.
"See?"
"Isn't that all the more reason to let her in? Vaggie, if she is undercover as a journalist or something, we just have to prove to her how amazing what we're doing here is."
"I don't know... I've never seen her before, what if she's another one Vox sent?"
Y/n shook her head, sticking her tongue out slightly in disgust at this notion and Alastor chuckled. There really was something so familiar about this demon and her antics. Even if she was a tad irritating, it was a comfortable familiarity.
"Then we will figure it out, same way we did with Sir. Pentious. Okay?"
"Fine." Vaggie relented at last with a sigh.
Smiling brightly, Charlie turned back to Y/n.
"So, hi. I'm Charlie, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! What's your name?"
Y/n's eyes flicked back and forth between Alastor and Charlie for a moment before settling on Charlie.
"Y/n L/n."
Alastor let out a little laugh of disbelief, a sound he had meant to keep in. He couldn't help it. Of course this little mess of a demon was his favorite crazy wife. Alastor had looked for Y/n on occasion, always keeping an eye on news involving anything scientific but, he had never found a trace. Not that he'd admit it but, in their time together, he had grown rather fond of the girl. Not love, never love, but a sort of familial feel. Everyone turned to face him.
"Are you alright, Alastor?" Charlie asked, walking over to him and placing a hand on his arm which he quickly brushed off.
"Yeah, do you know her or something?" Vaggie added, "Is she dangerous?"
"No..." he paused, his brow slightly furrowed, "She's my wife."
The room fell silent.
"You... you didn't recognize your own wife?" Vaggie asked in disbeleif.
"Ex-wife." Y/n corrected with a little sigh.
This was all becoming so tedious. She hadn't come here to sit and talk with people. While the spear and the shadow had been fun, they had both run their courses and she just wanted to get to work.
"I..." Alastor turned back to Y/n, "Ex-wife?"
Y/n shrugged.
"So you didn't recognize your wife and you didn't know you were divorced?" Vaggie asked, rubbing her temples, "Jesus fuck, man."
"I..." Alastor cleared his throat, "We were married when we were alive. I didn't even know she was dead yet."
"Yeah." Y/n shrugged, "Turns out all your nattering was what was keeping me alive. I forgot to eat, starved to death."
Alastor's eyes softened slightly for a moment at the notion. She had needed his care so badly that she had died with out it. It felt good, in a strange way. Satisfying. They darkened again as he recalled her earlier statement.
"Ex-wife?" he asked again, taking a step towards Y/n.
She looked up at him, her expression blank.
"Yeah?"
"When did we get a divorce!" Alastor exclaimed once he realized she would say nothing else on the matter without his prompting.
"Oh! We didn't." Y/n nodded, smiling slightly, "Now, can I go to my room?"
"No, Y/n. Why are you calling yourself my ex-wife? We are still married."
Y/n looked around at Charlie and Vaggie, seeing if they were going to back up her claim. Sighing, she turned back to Alastor.
"Do I really have to lay it out for you?" she paused and Alastor just stared at her, eyebrows raised, "Jesus. Uh, Al, we died."
"Yes...?"
"Till death do us part? That was the agreement."
"I... Well..." he was at a complete and total loss for how to respond.
She wasn't wrong, he just didn't like her answer very much.
"So... the agreement is done... yeah?"
"I mean," Alastor shook his head slightly, "I guess?"
"Great! Can someone please show me to my room now."
---
Next Part -> Till Death Do Us Part pt. 2
#x reader#alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#x reader one shot#x reader writer#x reader oneshot#request one shot#one shot#oneshot#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#alastor the radio demon#the radio demon#radio demon#mad scientist#virologist!reader#mad scientist!reader#husband!alastor#wife!reader#x you#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x reader smut#requested#request#requests
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Another Lucifer Rant | Lucifer x Reader
I'M BACK BABY
Give this man a dorky partner ffs.
Lucifer Rant (Pt. 1 kinda)
Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUT +18, Fluff, Some mentions of overstimulation
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Imagine Lucifer at his best. Sure, when you first get together, it's rocky. He needs someone to help him rediscover himself, and that takes a lot of time and energy from both of you. But after a few years, you start to see who he used to be; When he was an elder angel, daring to break the rules and pursue his dreams no matter what. It occasionally led to some destruction, but seeing him now able to recover from it so easily? It melts your heart. You were sure he wouldn't withstand the failure, but he can handle it. He can handle it because of you.
You praise him for branching out into other inventions and creations, but you'll always love his little ducks more than anything. That being said, you're not the only one seeing his creativity thrive. Hell managed to become a brighter place, with golden decorations and structures that were purely made for public enjoyment. Maybe Charlie's rubbing off on him, but he's finally taking charge of his realm and focusing on his subjects. Seeing Charlie at her best only fuels him more. She's living the life he wanted to when he was her age, and now, he had some catching up to do. He was determined.
PDAs:
With his confidence growing, he starts becoming more comfortable with PDAs. You never minded them, but it was nice to see him letting out his emotions in any way. He started off by holding your hand around others. Even though he would always become a blushing mess, even pulling away if he got too embarrassed by you smiling so geniunely at him, it was progress. It then became something he almost whined about when it wasn't happening. He wants you to hold his hand until it's uncomfortably sweaty and even after.
Lucifer would give small pecks to you as well, on your cheek when you walked in the room, your hair if you were sitting and he had access to the top of your head, and when he was in an especially good mood, a sweet peck on the lips before he'd leave.
Truly, the hardest part was saying I love you. In public and in private. What a strange phrase to get so flustered over when youve been with someone for years, and it did take years, but when he said it to you for the first time you damn near cried. After that, you would try to pepper it into conversations casually, in hopes his embarrassment or shame in the phrase would dissipate. Eventually, it did, and he grinned every time you'd say it, eager to return the phrase.
Now, you do your best to respect his boundaries, but one day it just slipped out of you, in front of a few residents and staff, one of them being Charlie. You didnt realize what you had done wrong, and honestly most of the others in the room didnt either, but once you saw Lucifer's overwhelmed expression it clicked that you may have messed up. You looked around to gauge the room and casually walked over to his shrinking form.
"I'm sorry, my love." You leaned in a bit to whisper to him," Do you need to step out? Should I say anything?" You did your best to stay calm, to be his anchor in this situation, but he cleared his throat and picked up his voice a little louder than your previously hushed tone. "L-Love you, too..! Sweetheart.." it was a small intimacy, but dear lord, were you proud of him. You could tell he struggled to do that, even if no one else paid attention to it. His eyes darted to Charlie, who was suddenly meeting his gaze from the other side of the room, and her eyes were absolutely wide and full to the brim with pride.
You had a few conversations with Charlie about everything. She didn't want too many details, just an update on how he's handling himself when she's not around. As he would get better with confiding his feelings to others, he would eventually talk to Charlie about issues and concerns, but for now, you were happy to relay the news to her.
He's her father, of course she wants nothing more than for him to be happy. It's not like she didn't see his struggle, so she couldn't help but feel pride for this little affection and any of his progress. She was quickly pulled away by Vaggie to avoid an outburst of happy tears in front of everyone, which Lucifer didn't mind. You gave him a quick peck on his forehead after looking around the room and took your seat next to him, continuing a conversation that you barely remember starting.
There were some situations where he would let you perform the PDAs. Sometimes, you would push his limits just to see how far he'd go. He wasn't super into movie nights, but Charlie really loved the idea of watching and discussing movies with wholesome values; an exercise to get people to know eachother amd have healthy debates on certain topics that definitely wouldn't turn into arguments. It happened about twice a month, good movies becoming harder to find in Hell.
You sat next to him close enough that your plush thigh was against his leg. He didn't seem to care too much, I mean, he loved it, but he didn't get too flustered. You would reach your arm around the back of the couch to simulate wrapping your arm around his shoulder, brushing your fingertips across the back of his shirt every now and then. The first time you did it, it took him by surprise, but after that, you could see the enjoyment of your touch.
You made sure to sit on the couch behind everyone else. Otherwise, he would feel the need to constantly look over his shoulders. You would try a few things, like placing your hand over his, then interlacing your fingers, then bringing it to your lips whenever the screen would go black and plunge the room in darkness. He seemed to handle it pretty well.
One night, you'd start off by leaning towards him and sitting on your legs, resting your head on his shoulder. He would respond by hesitantly placing his hand at your waist. You snuggled into him a bit more, making him redder in the face, but also giving him a subtle you're doing great.
If he did ever get too uncomfortable, he'd pull a blanket up and around both your shoulders, giving him a sense of security. On another night, you tried to pull him into you. It happened throughout the movie. You would pull him in by his waist, and he would scooch closer to you, then he would prop his arm up behind you and press his cheek against your shoulder. This was definitely a favorite position of his. Some tiring days, he would nod off. You made sure to wake him before anyone noticed.
Privacy:
After a while, he'd especially love touching you in private. When you would sit on his little couch and work on your own things in his office, he would take breaks and come over to lay his head in your lap. If he's lucky, you'd be reading or doing something where you only needed one hand, so your vacant fingers could be used to lightly comb through his hair.
He would take any chance to be above you, leaning down over the couch when you were sitting and giving you light kisses, or wrapping his arms around you while he stood on the elevated platform his workbench was set on.
With all the issues he had to overcome, you noticed he never really seemed too upset over his height. He was an angelic all-powerful beast, it's not like he was forced to look that way. I mean, you saw him shapeshift, he could easily add a few feet to his height. Actually, sometimes it seemed like he enjoyed the height difference. Whenever you would have to bend at the hips to give him a level kiss, he would make the goofiest grin. Or when you'd wear heels, he would constantly offer to fasten them on your feet and shower you with affection, then in public, he'd place his hand around your hips instead of linking your arms like usual.
Goofy Stuff:
His overly confident mask that he would use to intimidate others and laugh off serious situations was finally becoming more sincere. You loved seeing him that way, bringing smiles to everyone in the room when he spoke. When it was just the two of you, all his energy went into making you smile. And it always worked, he would make you giddy.
He loved to simply be around you. When you had to get ready for some kind of event, he would sit next to you at your vanity, simply watching you doll yourself up. He'd praise you, "you look so beautiful, darling~" then he'd tease you, "you know, i think that color would look much better on me." And you weren't one to back down, applying a thick layer of gloss to your lips and pulling him in to transfer as much as you could onto his lips. You pulled away, unphased, and went back to your makeup. "Hm! I agree! I'll let you wear it more often, then." He'd stammer out some sort of angry reply and cross his arms over his chest, having to admit defeat.
When you'd come home and would need to wash your face, you'd repeat your skin care routine on him. He didn't need it, but he loved to feel your hands touch and massage his face. In exchange, you'd force him to let you groom him (preening his wings, maybe cleaning up his eyesbrows, styling his hair in new ways, etc.) If you had the energy for it, that is. It was like clipping a cats nails. But the reaction and the outcome were so worth it.
You'd do his makeup on occasion, sometimes going far too dramatic for his taste just to watch him struggle to admit it wasn't his style without insulting you. You'd admit it was on purpose, and he'd tackle you playfully. Like before, you both ended up with the same lip color afterward.
You loved to get eachother flustered, sometimes youd pat him on the bottom when moving past him just to see him dramatically gasp." My love, we're in public! Right in front of Keekee??" He'd dramatically gesture to the cat who quite literally left the room while he was talking.
He'd blow into your ear when you were distracted, sending a chill down your spine. You'd knock your head into his on purpose, and he would swoon, crying out about being mistreated. Truly a theatric man.
Overall, he was finally bringing a geniune confidence to the table and you couldnt be prouder of him.
18+ Intimacy:
He was quick to discover he liked all the fluffy, cuddly stuff, but it took him years to rekindle any kind of sexual attraction to anyone. It was another big insecurity that he had, wondering if it was one of the reasons he drove Lillith off. It's not like he had anything to compare his work to, but he definitely didn't need to worry. Practice makes perfect. (And he was with Lillith for thousands of years.. so... plenty of time for practice.)
At first, you'd take the lead. You didn't mind. You loved taking care of him. After he'd suggest you two become more intimate, you'd still have to stop after some deep kisses and light grinding. Not that he would finish so soon, he just didn't have the stability to even imagine going through a night with your intimate gaze on him for so long. After a while, you'd start sitting on his lap, constantly reassuring him and giving him praises for doing so good. "If you need to stop, let me know, my love. Tap me -" you would lead his hand to the top of your thigh, " - if you can't find the words, okay?" He would let out a nervous chuckle, subconsiously giving your thigh a soft squeeze at the motion before nodding his head.
You had to talk him through everything, and dear lord, did he love hearing your voice. As ironic as it is, he would melt at any praise you gave him." You're doing so good, sweetheart," "You like that, love? You look so beautiful right now~", "Mmm, keep that up, you're doing so well." No matter how much you tried to keep your voice calm and sultry, he really enjoyed and almost preferred your hitched breath and sweet words directly by his ear. The phrase that got him going more than anything? "I love you, Lucifer." The combination of those words and hearing his name slip from your lips almost always made him whimper quietly.
When you first heard him whimpering, you would subtly check on him, making sure he was doing okay without embarrassing him and calling it out. Oh, he was doing okay. More than okay.
You would usually proposition him, but sometimes, he would blatantly ask you if you two could be intimate. It was always so cute when he did that. But one day, he asked shyly for you to sit, then he hesitantly sat on your lap. Your rosie cheeks grew even redder, and you placed your cool hands on your face to try and calm yourself. It took you a second to finally look up at him, his expression even more embarrassed than yours. You hated to admit that it made you feel better, but it really did. You took your hands and placed them on his cheeks, which were much hotter than yours. He rubbed his face into your palm, his hand holding your wrist to keep your touch close.
After a moment, he'd lean down to kiss you, it was just bliss. The rare view he had, looking down to meet your eyes, left him happy to give in to his more intimate desires. After being seated on your lap for so long, and finally adjusting to the unconscious grinding that would go on, he'd start to reach for the edge of his pants without much thought. Once he had pulled out his shaft, your eyes would quickly widen and break away from the kiss to assess the situation. Before you could, he lifted your head back to look into his eyes, suddenly glowing red. "P-Please, can I.. i don't know if im ready for, b-but- I need - " his eyes were a threatening color, but you noted that he was still struggling with this decision. He still needed some time before letting you touch him that way.
You pulled him in for another kiss, "I won't look or touch, okay? That's what you want?" You clarified, running your hands through his hair. He nodded shyly, his hand still holding onto himself. You smiled and reconnected your lips. "Okay, love. I don't mind at all - " you reassured him, taking his free hand and kissing his palm. Looking up at him through his fingers, you grinned into his hand, grazing your teeth down his wrist." I would be honored, actually." You say bravely, the situation giving your boldness a boost. He would let out a nervous laugh that seemed almost too loud, then follow it by sucking in his lips to not embarrass himself anymore than he already has.
Keeping up with his speed, you did only what he was comfortable with. Doing only what he wanted from you. It made you almost arrogant to feel him stroke himself and whimper into your lips, getting off just from your kisses alone. You would break away only to leave some soft kisses on his neck. You attempted to leave a hickey or two below his jawline, but he quickly tapped your thigh, wordlessly telling you that was too much. "Good boy~" you'd breathe against his neck, seeing his chest heave at the words. You moved down to his collarbone and chest, slowly beginning to suck in and bite his porcelain skin there. He let out a muffled agreement and nodded his head, more accepting of somewhere that would be easier to cover. You left almost too many bruises on him after that. To be fair, any blossoming mark was exentuated against his sensitive, white skin.
It didn't take too long for him to finish after that. He let out a gasp, then a muffled moan as you felt some of his fluids leak onto your stomach. He didn't even let himself get over his high before pulling a tissue out of thin air and cleaning you up. You let your head lean back, looking towards the cieling as he situated himself, keeping your promise to not look until he's ready. "O-oooh dear.. That was... Gross, right? Sorry.." You quickly look at him and scoffed, holding onto his face and pulling it close. "Don't say that, Lucifer..! Thank you for trusting me with this..." You brushed your thumb across his cheek, his expression still disheartened." I wouldn't have let that happen if I didn't want it, you know that. Besides, if you're really concerned, i'll just have to join you next time." You teased a sly smirk across your face. His eye twitched, and you could feel the heat in his face return." Good lord, I don't deserve you." He squeaked out before standing up and almost tripping over himself, complaining about his stiff legs right away.
Side note: I feel like when he would complain about being sore at all, you'd joke at him and say things like, "Oh, don't be a baby." And he'd reply with a joke, "Woah there, save the dirty talk for the bedroom." And that's what triggers you to start calling him baby any chance you could get, especially in the bedroom.
Going all the way was a big step. He was more comfortable starting on top of you, but just like before, he realized how much he preferred, loved, to have you ride him. You made sure he had the tapping system in effect, but he would constantly check on him the first time he asked to try it this way. You were almost ashamed to admit you got a bit carried away. With you almost hitting your high, you probably took on more than he could handle. You didn't realize until you looked down at his face. His eyes were shut tight, a tear or two rolling down his heated face, and his lips were parted and letting out pathetic little noises. A face that some might see as a demon drunk on sex, but you knew you had taken him a little too hard. You slowed down, his breath finally becoming lighter." I-I'm sorry.. I-I -" his voice was raspy as his began apolgizing." No - don't be. I'll be gentle." You finally started back up, a slow grind, after letting him catch his breath. "Remember to use your words, baby - " You took his hand and planted it on your thigh as another reminder to communicate his thoughts. He nodded, a slight hitch in his breath as you spoke. You went on to cherish a more intimate night with him.
That's how it started, but as time went on, your playful relationship came to the bedroom. Lucifer would be in the middle of grinding his hips into yours, attempting to say something flirtatious in your ear when his voice would crack, or he'd say something that didn't come out right. You'd cover your mouth in an attempt to not laugh." Oh, cmon! I'm trying to be sexy here." He'd waggle his eyebrows at you and youd bring him into a smiling kiss. "Well, i'd say you're doing a great job, babe." You spoke so sincerely afterward that he'd become a little flustered. "O-Oh.. you.. think so..?" You hummed against his ear,
"Nope~"
He'd let out an aggravated groan and start to get off of your lap." No-no! I'm sorry, i'm kidding! You're sexy, come back!" You'd laugh out, reaching for his hips and planting him back onto your lap." Damn right, I am." He'd grumble, smashing his lips against yours in a suddenly intense kiss. In all honesty, probably to shut you up.
---
You love him so dearly. You barely realize how much he loves you, maybe due to how badly he struggles with his words. As time goes on, all Lucifer wants is to give himself to you. Give every little bit of his love to the one who's spent so much time caring for him and helping him become a better person. He'd sometimes consider that he could never be able to return the favor.
But he would. You knew he could.
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I'll still take requests for some Luci prompts if anyone's thirstin'
Also, I have over 100 followers?? Which i wasn't expecting to happen when I first made this account (literally made it just to look at Hazbin smut if i'm outing myself) So thanks for all the support! This is such a great community đ„č
#hazbin hotel#hazbin#lucifer hazbin#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer magne#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbin hotel smut#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#hazbin lucifer morningstar#lucifer morningstar x you#lucifer my beloved#lucifer x you#lucifer x reader smut#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer x reader
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Okay, before I start- i know that hazbin hotel has a lot of good ass songs, and I want to make own little custom songs but I cant write songs for shit however I can write poetry (not well but I'm trying) so instead of writing songs for you, I'll write shitty poetry that does not rhyme. Also sorry if my depictions of love aren't good- i have literally never been in love before, and if the ending is rushed, I'm not used to writing so much in one setting
ⷠïŒČïŒ„ïŒ¶ïŒ©ïŒŻïŒ”ïŒł ïŒłïŒŁïŒ„ïŒźïŒ„ | ïŒźïŒ„ïŒžïŒŽ ïŒłïŒŁïŒ„ïŒźïŒ„
There once was an Cherubim angel,
so gentle and kind,
perched upon a cloud
You sat on a cloud, smiling to yourself as you watched over all the different angels talk to each other about their duties- heaven was perfect, no- no not just perfect, heaven was a utopia. No angel can do any wrong, it is only virtue that existed upon these clouds and you were among these creatures of purity, you were one of god's creations just as all the other's were.
The clouds around you were soft, almost as if they were made of the soft silk your robes were made of, they were formed to bring comfort to any angel that came in contact with them and while all angels were already joyful, the clouds merely helped them stary from sinful thoughts.
She waited for another angel,
a Seraphim named Lucifer,
a friend, so close to her
You wondered though, were was lucifer? He was always about yet you didn't have any idea on where or how to find him. In all honesty, you found Lucifer to be amazing- his ideas, imagination, creativity bought stars to your eyes (figuratively, you had no iris or pupil- your eyes, more specifically your sclera, were a soft yellow colour with white swirls decorating them), to you his words were so brilliant, other angels couldn't even begin to speak or think the way he does.
He always came up with new ideas, new creations him, you and the other angels can create- can look after and love. You couldn't help but indulge in his chats with you- adding onto his ideas in anyway you can and while you personally thought your ideas weren't as amazing as his, to Lucifer your ideas were flawless- he always said that.
Lucifer was brilliant, he truly was- you could never understand why the other angels despised his thoughts so much.
Perhaps, the cherubim was in love,
perhaps she enjoyed Lucifer's company
much more beyond just meer friendship.
Okay, you needed to slow down- you were always thinking how great he was, maybe you didn't just like him as a friend... just maybe you liked him a bit more. Though, that way of thinking should stop soon- after all you have angelic duties to do! there is no way you can just abandon them just because you adored Lucifer....'s ideas.
You took a breath and got on your feet, spreading your wings (you had four wings, two on each side) so you could take off and start your work, however when you were jus about to begin to fly a figure rushed to you- wrapping their arms around your torso.
The seraphim appeared,
all smiles and glee
he held his friend closely
with tender, with care
Lucifer came out of no where, though his presence was welcomed warmly by you : who held him back just as tight. " Luci! " you grinned letting go of him, he had gotten there just in time- it was almost like he knew you were about to fly off, " [name]! Ha ha! how are you? " he asked holding both of your hands- a dorky smile engraved onto his face " Where have you been? I was worried " that was half-true, there was no evil (what even was evil? you didn't know, it doesn't exist not yet ) but there was a high chance that Sera was telling him off again.
" How sweet, but don't worry I'm alright cherub " he brought your hands closer to him- something that grin he held could only grow as the seconds passed by, seeming like he wanted to say something " Luci- I know that look in your eye, you've being creating again! Tell me everything ", your own smile began to grow as you squeezed his hand.
" You know me too well! Okay, so i was thinking of trying to make [ creature ], sounds cool right? well guess what else! " and with that he began to ramble about his ideas once more, with you chirping in some of your own ideas which made Lucifer sound even happier.
The two angels were at peace,
within the company of each other-
did they love each other?
would they dare say it?
You flew around with Lucifer, laughing together while yelling out some nonsense that seemed to only make sense to you and him- just you and him. Though your fun was quick to end when the two of you reached the tallest cloud in all of heaven and the two of you- both out of breath- fell onto it. " That was fun! " you chuckled, still trying to catch your breath " yeah! I loved that " was the reply, then silence fell upon the two of you. Though it wasnt awkward silence, it never was when it came to [name] and Lucifer- it was comforting and peaceful.
Though this silence was broken quickly by you. Over the last few weeks, months you were coming to understand your feelings towards the seraphim, and while you could easily deny them- to avoid them and focus of everything but that but you just couldn't, you sucked with feelings especially hiding them! and plus, how could you live if you didn't tell Luci how you felt " Luci... I " love you, those words were suddenly lodged in your throat and you couldn't let them be said- be heard why did that happen, you were sure you could say them- hell you said them before to people who you see as family!, "sorry what i meant was I- " loved you for so long now, I love you and I don't think I can ever stop loving you " loved that too- it was so fun! "
She couldn't say it,
she was too scared to tell her dear Lucifer
of her true feelings... though did he feel the same?
What was wrong with you? You couldnt say it, why? You loved Lucifer- there you admitted it in your mind but you just cant say it to him. You sighed and stared at your mirror- looking over your face, your long hair (angels all had long hair, it was one of the things that they always cared for and almost showed off)
Of course he did,
how could he not?
he loved her more than anything
she listen to his ideas, she added onto them
she never hated them, never judged.
but then, the high order formed the earth-
Adam and Lilith.
" [name? " Lucifer walked over to you, a smile on his face- though he always smiled, this smile seemed different in a way but you couldn't place your finger on it however that did not stop you from returning his smile " Luci! hey! " you grinned as he stopped just in front of you " [name]? do you know the two humans? " " Adam and Lilith? " " yes! Me and Lilith... are in love!"
...
he.. he loved the human Lilith? The one who ran from Adam (you heard of this from Sera, and while you acted disappointed you agreed with Lilith's decision of leaving Adam, you would have too), he found her and fell for her? .. how? she hasn't even existed for that long! How could you possibly fall that quick? it was impossible right?
It took you a few seconds to compose yourself so you can smile for Lucifer, though it didnt feel right " That's... brilliant Luci! I'm so happy you found love- how does it feel like? " and with that question you bared the suffering of listening to Lucifer, the one you loved, gush about Lilith, and you were almost envious of Lilith- almost hated her, you never met her and now dear god you probably don't ever want to. You had lost your Lucifer to her, though... you suppose he was never yours.
and with that,
those confessions of requited love
would forever be sealed away,
locked behind their grinning lips
though the perish of love was not their only problem.
Lucifer went too far,
he created evil through the second bride,
she bit the apple, she took the fall
and Lucifer and his love was to blame
though you would not let him be punished alone.
You too were part of this.
" No! " You screamed as you ran to the shaking Lucifer's side, almost trying to shield him from the anger of the higher order of angels. " Leave him be! He has done nothing wrong! " you defended him, still caring over your friend. Nevertheless, the angels did not listen to your words in the way you intended- they saw this as a further act of aggression from you as you also had a part to play in coursing dear Eve into biting the apple from the tree of knowledge of good or evil, you lead her to the tree, plucked the apple with Lucifer in tow and let her bite it. Now you and Lucifer were being punished, Lucifer getting the harsher side of it.
The angel was thrown to the depths,
to a world name named Hell,
where the only side of humans Lucifer was granted to see,
was the side he created.
You were also punished to fall,
tho to hell was too much they said
so you fell the half way
now for ever trapped in a dead land-
forever banished to be alone.
đŽđ”đ°đłđș đłđŠđźđȘđŻđ„đŠđł â âžș @reverse-soe @jellibean2018 @aliazy @sugarrush-blush @littledolly2345 @immahuman @marsilis
#àȘââŽïčâŸâŸ đ¶đčđȘđŻđ°đ« / đčđ¶đșđŹđŽđšđčđ đŸđčđ°đ»đŹđș â«#†đđđđđđđ đđđđđ | đĄđđłđđąđ§ đĄđšđđđ„ đđđ§đđąđđđąđšđ§ đđČ đšđ«đđĄđąđ / đ«đšđŹđđŠđđ«đČ à§#x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#prologue#act one#act one scene one#chapter 1#lucifer x reader#Lucifer Morning star x reader#Lucifer x you#Lucifer Morningstar x you#Lucifer Morningstar x reader#x you#x y/n#poem#requests are open#pls request#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel alastor#we love lucifer#i love lucifer#i wrote too much
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Fireworks
Title: Fireworks Summary: When (Y/N)âs BFF invites her to a 4th of July party she would never imagine meeting the man of her dreams⊠literally. Main Characters: Glen Powell, Reader Pairing: Glen Powell x Reader Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluffy/RPF Word Count: 5376 A/N: Jumping back into the saddle so please forgive all the rough edges.
âHoney, Iâm home!â
(Y/N) looked up to see her best friend walking through her front door, âAddison! Why didnât you tell me you were in town?â
She hugged her hard, missing her BFF more than she realized. A year ago, Addison got the opportunity of a lifetime to be the personal assistant to a Hollywood actor. She had been traveling the world, hanging out on movie sets and living her best life. Meanwhile, (Y/N) was still living in their hometown of Austin, Texas working at the same high school, in the same position for nearly a decade.
âIâm sorry, my boss has had me planning this big Fourth of July party and today is the first day Iâve had time to come see you.â
They both sat down on her couch as (Y/N) paused her millionth rewatch of Supernatural, âHow are you planning a party here if he lives in L.A.?â
Addison smiled, âHe recently moved back to Austin, so it looks like I will be coming back here as well.â
(Y/N) let out a squeal hugging her friend tightly, âOh my god, thatâs amazing! I mean I know youâre gonna be busy but damn will it be good to have you back here.â
For the next few hours they caught up on each otherâs lives or lack of one for (Y/N). They ordered dinner and were getting ready to watch one of their favorite rom-coms when Addisonâs phone rang.
âHey boss, whatâs up?â
(Y/N) watched her friendâs face light up and suddenly her body was filled with envy. She was incredibly proud of the life her friend created but it was a reminder of how boring of a life she had. She couldnât even remember the last thing she had been excited for except for maybe the new Twisters movie coming out later in the month.
âYou got it. I will confirm everything and send you an email update.â Addison paused listening, âYes, I will make sure to bring someone with me. See you tomorrow.â
âFrom the look on your face I would say you love your job.â Addison nodded with a smile, âI really do. Heâs great and nothing like the other Hollywood douchebags. Heâs just a good ole Texas boy. Kind of reminds me of Jensen and Jared.â
(Y/N) remembered her best friend's time volunteering at Creation Entertainment Supernatural conventions. She eventually was one of the workers who helped walk the actors to and from ops. Several times she had walked with Jared Padalecki or (Y/N)âs favorite actor, Jensen Ackles. That was how she had met them and found out they were truly just as nice and humble as everyone said they were.
âHe wants me to bring someone to his party. What do you say?â
âMe?â She stared at Addison, âDonât you think you should bring someone more interesting or fun?â
Her friend slipped her arm around (Y/N)âs shoulders, âNo. Thereâs no one else I would rather bring than my best friend. Plus, who knows, maybe youâll meet someone there and hit it off.â
âYeah. Right.â She scoffed, âThe plain Jane school secretary hitting it off with some Hollywood hunk. This is reality and not fanfiction.â
âPlease? For me? It would mean the world to me if you came and then I can finally introduce you to my boss.â Addison stuck out her bottom lip in a pout.
(Y/N) narrowed her eyes then smiled, âFine. Only because I love you.â
âYay! If you want we can go get you a swimsuit and a new outfit. On me, of course, as a thank you.â
âIâm immediately regretting this decisionâŠâ She groaned.
The next day, they spent the day going to lunch and shopping. After one crying session in a dressing room and a slight argument in front of a cashier, (Y/N) arrived back home with three bags worth of stuff. Addison had convinced her to buy a two piece swimsuit. She was always hyper aware of her body even after losing a lot of weight. She was still plus size with killer curves and she was proud of her body. Knowing she was going to be around beautiful actors and models made her notice every little imperfection she had. Staring at the dark green checkered pattern suit made her stomach churn.
âIt will be fine, (Y/N). No one is going to notice you anyway.â She murmured to herself.
The morning of July 4th, Addison was at her apartment bright and early, âIâm sorry itâs so early on your day off. My boss wants me at his house early and I figured you wanted to ride over with me.â
(Y/N) yawned, âItâs fine. I have my Monster and should be some form of human like by the time we get there.â
Addison led her out to a brand new Jeep Wrangler that was the same orange as the Longhorns. They threw their stuff in the back and headed off onto highway 290 towards Dripping Springs.
âPlease tell me this is his car and not yours.â (Y/N) said as Addison started laughing.
âYes, itâs his. I still have old faithful who recently hit 200,000 miles and is still purring like a kitten.â Addison turned on her Spotify playlist, âHeâs a big Longhorns fan so anything he can get in burnt orange he does.â
One thing (Y/N) loved about living in Austin was the scenery. It had been awhile since she had driven out to Hill Country. The last remaining bluebonnets were holding on strong from a late blooming season mixing with other wildflowers. She couldnât help to notice they were headed the same direction as Family Business Brewery.
âIf weâre going to Family Business and Jensen is going to be there then I need some notice to calm my inner fangirl.â
Addison shook her head, âNo, he just lives near there. I know he invited Jensen and Jaredâs families but I think they have a convention this weekend.â
(Y/N) let out a sigh of relief then continued to admire the scenery around her while they sang to their favorite songs. Soon they were pulling up to a newly built, gated home. The main house was a subtly modern farmhouse with a big wrap around porch. Addison parked in front of the three car garage behind the house and thatâs when (Y/N) saw a beautiful red barn straight out of a western movie.
âWowâŠâ She said, grabbing her things and following her friend to the pool house.
âMake yourself at home, this is where I stay. Itâs easier for me to be close by than to have my own place and worry about subletting it.â
(Y/N) found pictures of her best friend in various cities, countries with celebrities she admired. There were also plenty of pictures of them together throughout their friendship including childhood and being roommates at UT-Austin. She looked at one picture of Addison pulled into a big hug from Glen Powell.
âYouâve met Glen Powell and didnât tell me!â (Y/N) smacked her BFFâs shoulder, âHow dare you.â
Addison laughed, âHeâs a sweetheart.â
âTalk about good ole Texas boy⊠by god not that I need another bow legged Texan to love, but whew!â (Y/N) fanned herself.
âCome on, help me organize the food and everything before my boss gets home.â
There were tables set up in the massive backyard with a food buffet large enough to feed an army. (Y/N) found herself enjoying helping Addison get everything ready. She was helping the DJ get set up in the barn when Addison called out to her.
âHey, my boss is here. Iâm going to the main house to help him with something then Iâll be back.â
âGot it boss lady!â (Y/N) laughed as her friend rolled her eyes.
She was putting the last touches of the Firecracker themed tables together when a low, raspy voice came from behind her.
âNicely done. You must be Addisonâs best friend.â
She turned around and froze, âHoly shit, youâre Glen Powell.â
He laughed holding out his hand to her, âYes, but not the OG Glen. Heâs in the house right now. Youâre (Y/N), right? Addison talks about you all the time.â
She slipped her hand into his then flinched from the electric current running up her arm. From his wide green eyes, she assumed he felt it too.
âUh, y-yeah thatâs me. UmâŠâ She swallowed hard, âSorry, my inner fangirl is having a mild heart attack right now.â
His deep, rich laugh blanketed her body in warmth, âWell hopefully your inner fangirl wonât pass out. Calling 911 is not on my list today.â
âI promise, sheâll be fine. Still getting used to my BFF hanging out with celebrities, especially ones that I love.â
The bright smile on his face nearly melted her heart, âAwe, so you love me?â
âUh⊠yes, I mean⊠yes I love your movies and you seem like a really great person.â (Y/N) mentally kicked herself.
Shut up. Stop talking you weirdo.
âThanks, I try to be a good guy. Main reason why I moved back to Austin. Stay grounded in my home roots. Anyway, Iâm looking forward to getting to know you. I better get back to the main house and see what kind of chaos my family is causing for Addison.â
âOh, okay. Talk to you later.â (Y/N) watched as he walked out of the barn then finally let out a shaky breath.
She immediately went in search of her best friend, finding her near the buffet. She smacked her shoulder several times as Addison tried to defend herself with tongs.
âWhat the hell (Y/N)!â
âWhy didnât you tell me that Glen Powell was your boss?! A little warning would have been nice so I could prepare myself.â
Addison chuckled, âDamn, I missed you meeting him. I was hoping to see your face.â
She smacked her shoulder again, âNot funny. It was like the first time I met Jensen and my brain short circuited.â
Now Addison was nearly falling down laughing, âDid you word vomit all over him?â
âNo! Though I did mention my inner fangirl having a heart attack. Also, the first thing out of my mouth was âHoly shit, youâre Glen Powell.â
âOh my god!â Her friend was rolling in laughter, âGod, I wish I had been there for that.â
âThatâs it, Iâm leaving. Iâve already embarrassed myself and who knows who else will be here for me to embarrass myself in front of.â
(Y/N) started to head towards the front of the house when Addison reached out grabbing her arm.
âWait, wait. Iâm sorry, I should have warned you. Glen only invited a few actors that live around here over. Honestly, I think Zac Levi is the only one confirmed to be coming. Other than that, itâs mostly Glenâs family and friends.â
âZac Levi?â She stared at her, âZachary fucking Levi⊠oh god, Iâm out. Me and my inner fangirl cannot handle this.â
Addison ran in front of her, grabbing a hold of her shoulders, â(Y/N), they are just humans like you and me.â
âHumans that are sculpted out of marble by the good lord himself with a good heaping pile of sex god appeal. Not like me. Theyâre main character energy and Iâm one of the background people no one sees.â
â(Y/N) stop. Trust me, stay and hang out with me. Glen said once everything was set up that I was off the rest of the night. That means, itâs you and me hanging out by the pool, eating our weight in BBQ and watching fireworks. With some particularly good eye candy around.â
Addison was looking at her with pleading eyes, âPlease stay and find out for yourself that they are normal dudes. Just like when we hung out with Jared and Jensen.â
(Y/N) sighed, âOnly because I love you more than life itself and I have no way of getting home.â
Addison pulled her into a hug, âThank you.â
âGroup hug? I want to join!â Before (Y/N) could look up, she was sandwiched between her best friend and a firm body behind her. Instantly she was enveloped in a woodsy smell with a hint of citrus. Glen squeezed them together making both girls laugh.
âCanât⊠breathe⊠Powell.â Addison managed to squeak out as he let go of them.
âSorry, just wanted to be a part of your little moment.â He joked.
(Y/N) turned around sucking in a breath and trying to keep her jaw from slacking. Standing before her was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. Which said a lot since up until that point it had been Jensen Ackles who was the most beautiful man in her mind. Glen was wearing a pair of swim trunks with firecrackers all over them that hung low on his hips. His golden skin was glowing beneath the Texas sun and on top of his golden hair was an American flag cowboy hat.
âLadies, I believe everything is set up and our first wave of guests have arrived. That means, Addison, you are officially off the clock and my last request is for you both to have a great time tonight.â
They looked at one another then saluted Glen saying together, âYes sir.â
His laughter filled the air, âYour salutes need some work but we can work on that later. Now, go! Get drunk, eat and have fun.â
Addison hooked her arm with (Y/N)âs and they headed back towards the pool. For the first couple of hours, (Y/N) laid out on one of the chairs by the pool. One of the only things she loved about parties was people watching. There was no shortage of people to watch here. Glenâs family was an absolute joy to meet. Currently, his dad was in the pool playing with his grandkids while his mom was sitting on the edge hanging her feet into the water.
(Y/N) watched as Zac Levi walked through the main house with a cooler and a few of his friends. She was surprised to see him pull Addison into a hug then kiss her cheek. She made a mental note to ask her what was up with that later. Sipping on her beer, she watched as a group of guys including Glen and Zac started a game of football. Addison was talking with Glenâs sisters when suddenly there was a shout.
âWatch out!â
Before (Y/N) could look up, she was hit with something hard in her chest. She let out a loud grunt and her beer dumped down the front of her.
âShit! (Y/N) are you alright?â Glen asked as he and Addison ran up to her.
She groaned, âFine, just covered in beer.â
âI can show you where you clean up.â Glen said, taking the football that had hit her and tossing it to his brother-in-law.
He held out his hand to her and helped her up from her seat. She looked back at Addison who was smiling like the Cheshire cat. She narrowed her eyes at her friend suddenly smelling a set up and beer⊠lots of beer.
Glen led her into the main house and up the stairs. They walked into the largest bedroom she had ever seen and immediately knew this had to be his room.
âYou can use my bathroom to wash up and Iâll get you some clothes to wear.â
She chuckled, âUm, Iâm pretty sure your clothes wonât fit me.â
He arched an eyebrow at her, âIâm sure I can find something or if you prefer to walk around in a towel only then thatâs cool too.â
âNo! Oh god, no.â She sighed, âThank you. I appreciate anything you can find for me.â
âYouâre welcome.â He walked into his large closet while she went into his master bathroom and shut the door.
Leaning against it, she took a moment to calm her frantic nerves. A week ago, she was home rewatching Top Gun: Maverick and now she was standing in Glen Powellâs bathroom. Quickly, she stripped out of her soiled clothes and swimsuit. She turned on the water of the massive shower and let the hot water beat down on her tense muscles. She heard the door opening and immediately tried to cover herself.
âThereâs clothes on my bed for you.â
(Y/N) noticed he had his hand covering his eyes even though he couldnât see her from where the door was. Her heart skipped from the small gesture.
âT-Thank you. Iâll be back out in a few minutes.â
âTake your time.â He closed the door.
(Y/N) noticed his shampoo was the citrus she had smelled earlier while his body wash was the woods smell. She decided that combination was her new favorite smell. Once she was out of the shower and wrapped in one of his towels she walked out to find his door closed. On the bed was an extra large Longhorns t-shirt and gym shorts. There was also a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer-briefs which she was thankful for. However, not having a bra to wear was going to be difficult.
She stepped into his closet and chuckled from all the burnt orange shirts. She found one of his tank tops and slipped it on. She rolled the bottom up beneath her breasts and tied it off with her ponytail. The girls would at least be secured but one good cool wind and her nipples would be on display.
âMaybe itâs time to step up to whiskey.â She muttered as she slipped on the rest of Glenâs clothes.
Opening the door, she found a muscular, tan back standing there like a bodyguard, âSorry, I just didnât want anyone walking in here on you. My family is not big on boundaries nor are my niece and nephew.â
She chuckled, âThanks for keeping watch and for the clothes.â
He turned around and she watched as his eyes traveled the length of her body. Goosebumps spread across her flushed skin. When his eyes came back up to hers they were darker and filled with something that she refused to let herself believe was there.
âHave to say, those look way better on you than on me.â
(Y/N)âs default mode clicked on whenever she received compliments, âI highly doubt that, but thanks. Theyâre at least more comfortable than my swimsuit. By the way, do you have somewhere I could wash my clothes out?â
âYeah, give them to me and Iâll put them in the washer. You can head back out to enjoy the party.â She handed him her suit and clothes, âMan, Iâm sorry I didnât get to see you in this. I bet it looked great on you.â
He headed down the stairs leaving (Y/N) speechless. Was Glen Powell flirting with her? No way. She was delusional from the alcohol and sun. She headed back outside where she found Addison swimming in the pool with Zac. Seeing them together, she knew she didnât need to ask if they were together. It was obvious by the way they looked at one another that they were. Once again, (Y/N)âs green eyed monster raged inside of her. Deciding she needed some more time alone, she headed out towards the barn then kept walking to the field behind it.
She was watching a team of guys setting up fireworks for the big display later that night. She could still hear everyone laughing and having fun behind her, suddenly she felt tears falling down her cheeks. She loved her best friend, but it was obvious she didnât fit into her life anymore. She was hanging out and dating celebrities and traveling the world.
What was she doing? Still working the same job and never allowing anyone to get close to her. She gave up on dating after her one and only boyfriend had cheated on her. Did she want someone in her life? The family and white picket fence? Of course, but the closer to forty she was getting the further away that dream seemed to be getting. Seeing how happy Addison was and how wonderful her life was a harsh reminder of how meaningless her own life was.
âYou okay?â
Turning around, she found Glen walking up now wearing a navy tank top and his dark Ray Bans covering his eyes. She quickly wiped away the wayward tears.
âYeah, Iâm fine. Just needed a moment.â
He leaned his forearms against the fence, looking out over the field, âI see you found my âI need a momentâ spot. I love coming out here and just being. I donât have to be actor Glen, but just me.â
âI bet that is exhausting.â He nodded as she looked at him from the corner of her eyes, âOn behalf of fans everywhere, I appreciate all the hard work you put into your characters. I canât tell you the number of nights I have watched one of your rom-coms laughing and making my day better.â
He looked down at her with a smile, âThanks, that means a hell of a lot to me.â
âHowever, I have to say, I wish they would pair you up with a woman your age. Seeing you make out with a woman ten years younger gives girls like me a complex.â She chuckled.
âHow so?â He asked, turning towards her.
She sighed, âYou never see a leading woman that is both older and doesnât have a modelâs body. The average size of a woman is 14/16 which is plus size and if I had to guess I bet the majority of rom-com audience is like me. A woman in her late thirties, plus size, single and looking for hope that men like Glen Powell would be interested in her.â
âYou donât think guys like me would be with a woman like you?â
His question was genuine, but made her scoff, âIn the movies they arenât. Why would I believe that in real life? Probably why Iâve been single for over a decade now. Itâs easier to fantasize over fictional men or celebrities than putting myself out there to get humiliated.â
He stepped closer to her, his fingers brushing against her cheek and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He pushed his sunglasses up on top of his head and his glossy eyes were staring down into hers. She had dreamt of him looking at her in this very way a million times. The way he looked at every leading lady in one of his rom-coms.
âWhat if I told you that I do find you attractive? That I find you incredibly sexy.â
âIâd say that youâre a great actor.â She tried to look away, but he gently grabbed her chin making her look at him.
âIâm not acting. The moment Addison showed me a picture of the two of you, I thought you were the most gorgeous woman Iâd ever seen. The way she gushes about you and all the work you do for your students. The difference youâre making in their lives. I couldnât imagine anything more sexy than a woman who loves to help those who need it.â
(Y/N) stepped away from him, âItâs really nothing special. Yes, Iâm there for them and help them in any way I can, but so do a lot of staff. Honestly, thereâs nothing special about me. Iâm definitely not gorgeous. I mean, youâre around beautiful actresses and models all the time. Theyâre gorgeous, me not so much.â
âAddison warned me that you usually put yourself down when you receive compliments.â He took a step towards her engaging in an awkward dance as she stepped backwards.
âWarned you? So, this was a set up?â (Y/N) rolled her eyes, âDid she really think you were going to magically fall in love with me and sweep me off my feet. Which by the way, you couldnât, not literally anyway.â
âI asked her to introduce us. Yes, I found you attractive and after hearing Addison talk about you non-stop in Oklahoma, I wanted to meet you. Addison is not only my assistant but a dear friend and if youâre important to her then youâre important to me as well.â
He closed the distance between them pressing her back against the fence and caging her in with his strong arms on either side of her. He leaned in towards her and she sucked in a breath, holding it in her chest.
âI wasnât hoping to fall in love or sweep you off your feet. Which I could totally do.â He smirked, âI was hoping to meet the amazing woman Addison loves so much and who happens to be fucking gorgeous.â
âGlen, IâŠâ She let out a trembling breath, âI'm nobody and I donât do one night stands. Even if itâs with a sexy movie star that Iâm sure would give me the orgasm of my life. Itâs not me and I donât see you wanting to settle down with a high school secretary.â
He leaned closer to her. His nose brushing alongside hers and his lips merely an inch from hers. She wanted to look away, but his eyes were mesmerizing.
âWonât know unless you give me a chance.â
His lips pressed against hers. They were soft and tasted of tequila as he pulled her bottom lips between his teeth. Suddenly, her body felt like it was on fire and she wanted more. Needed more. His large hands fell to her hips and pulled her tighter against him. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her hands into his soft hair. His sunglasses falling from his head was enough to knock her senses back into place. She pressed her hands against his chest, pushing him gently away.
âWe⊠I⊠this canât happen. Itâs not happening.â She stammered.
(Y/N) took off back towards the barn as Glen called after her, â(Y/N)! (Y/N), please wait!â
She didnât stop until she was in the pool house and in Addisonâs room with the door shut. Tears immediately sprung to her eyes and she sank to the floor beside her bed. What the hell was she doing? Glen Powell had kissed her. Told her she was gorgeous and yet she was sitting on the floor crying. Why couldnât she be more impulsive and have one night with a man who was way out of her league? Looking at her reflection in the glass from the sliding door, she sighed.
âBecause you catch feelings, (Y/N).â She whispered.
â(Y/N)?â Addisonâs voice came through the door, âYou alright?â
She opened the door, âSeriously, Glen Powell?â
âLet me explain.â
âAddison, what did you think was going to happen? You couldnât actually believe this was going to work in any sort of way.â
They sat down on her bed, âI talk about you non-stop with him. Iâve told him all your stories from school with your kiddos. Iâve told him how Iâm worried about you being alone all the time and how I wish you could meet a nice guy like him. How proud I am of all youâve done for your health and how you love your body for what it is.â
(Y/N) placed her head in her hands, âAnd what, he was like âoh I want to meet this chickâ?â
âNot his exact words, but yes. When he started planning this party, he asked if there was anyone I would like to invite. I told him Zac and his friendsâŠâ She paused looking at her bashfully, âYeah, Iâm kind of seeing Zac Levi.â
âNo shit, Sherlock. I could tell that from the lovey-dovey looks you give one another. After my breakdown you can spill all about how that happened.â
Addison nodded, âAnyway, Glen asked if I wanted to invite you. I told him that youâre pretty introverted and didnât like going to parties. He dropped it, but then when he was having me finalize the list of people I noticed he had added your name at the end of the list. When I asked him about it, all he said was he wanted to meet the amazing best friend I kept talking about.â
âSo, you decided to turn it into a set up? Knowing full and well I would never fall for it.â
Her friend turned towards her, âIt was never a set up. I warned him how you are. I asked him directly what he was up to. He told me that he found you attractive and wanted to get to know you.â She grabbed her hands, âHonestly (Y/N), I think heâs just a dude who is nervous to ask out a beautiful girl. Itâs hard for him to meet anyone who doesnât see him as only a famous actor and I really think he wants this part of his life to be as normal as possible.â
(Y/N) groaned, âYou know this sounds like a fanfic I would read on Tumblr, right?â
Addison laughed, âOh Iâm well aware. However, doesnât it make you want to see what happens? Usually, the next part would be you going to find him and you two would have a moment of tension that snaps. Then wham, bam, smutty dreams fulfilled.â
âI think Iâm going to throw up.â (Y/N) took a couple deep breaths.
âThat is not usually in the fanfics. Take the time you need, but please come back out and hang out with us. If anything, Iâll introduce you to Zac and you can fangirl over him.â
âI love you, but get out. I canât even with you right now.â (Y/N) laughed as Addison hugged her.
Once she was alone again, (Y/N) went into the bathroom to splash cool water on her face. Looking into the mirror, she gave herself a once over. She walked out into the bedroom letting out a surprise yelp when she found Glen sitting on the bed.
âScared the crap out of me.â She held her chest.
His eyes were focused on the floor, âSorry. Addison said you were in here.â He stretched his long fingers out over his thighs before looking up at her.
âI wanted to apologize for coming onto you so strong and kissing you. I should have been more of a gentleman about it, not that I regret kissing you because I donât.â
She sat down next to him, âI donât either and you donât need to apologize. It was nice to know I remembered how to kiss a man.â
He chuckled finally looking over at her, âItâs like Iâm living out a meet-cute rom-com without a script and itâs terrifying. Thereâs a fine line between endearing and creepy. I feel like Iâm crossing the line into creepy.â
(Y/N)âs hand was trembling but she placed it over his, âYouâre not creepy. Addison told me about how you wanted to get to know me. I think itâs been so long since a man has shown any interest in me that I donât know how to react to it. Let alone that man being someone I have fantasized about being the Leading Man in my own life.â
âIs there any way we could start over? You being you and me being just a normal dude wanting to ask you out?â He laced their fingers together, âOr at least ask you to watch fireworks with me?â
(Y/N) smiled, âI would love to watch fireworks with you⊠what was your name again?â
His breathtaking smile appeared as he stood up in front of her, âHi, Iâm Glen and you?â
She took his outstretched hand, standing up, â(Y/N), itâs nice to meet you totally normal dude who is definitely not a famous sexy actor.â
He laughed pulling her into his side slipping his arm around her shoulders, âThatâs me. Normal dude who is thankful to have a chance to be in the presence of a beautiful woman.â
âOh jeez, please stop with the compliments. They make me uncomfortable.â She sighed, sliding her arm around his waist.
-----
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NO LIGHT
SUMMARY: Your life is simple. You are a pastry chef who has just opened a bakery near your home. A new life, being a new person. But when James Barnes shows up at your bakery injured, asking you to offer him shelter, your life takes a sudden turn.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The characters in this fanfiction are not my creation and all belong to the Marvel universe. This story will feature scenes of violence, brief intense intimate moments, and inappropriate language. To the readers, I wish you a good read and ask that you engage with the fanfiction if you like it. Do not interact with this fanfiction if you are underage. Enjoy reading. This chapter contains violence and sexual content.
FIVE SEVEN
SIX (+18)
A few days later, after several visits to the hospital pretending to be Steve Rogers' wife, he is finally being discharged today. His recovery has been remarkable; he no longer needs support for his arm, only a brace. Naturally, you came to pick him up from the hospital, ready for your last performance as his wife and to return his car that you've been using. Sure, you have your own car, but it doesnât quite compare to Steveâs. As soon as you walk into the hospital, you spot your fake husband bidding farewell to the medical staff.
"My beautiful wife, light of my life. Come and thank these wonderful people with me for the excellent job they did taking care of my arm and ensuring Iâll never have financial stability again," Steve says playfully, as he bids farewell to a group of nurses escorting him to the hospital entrance. You laugh as you approach him, and he pulls you into an embrace. You nestle gently against his chest, placing his arm around your shoulder so he can lean on you for support.
"Your husband is a very kind man, weâre going to miss him; he has some great stories," one of the nurses says, sounding quite interested in Steve. You smile faintly, imagining the nonsense Steve must have shared while he was either drugged or simply bored.
"He really is great at telling stories. Thank you all for taking such good care of him, I donât know what Iâd do without my precious husband," you say, placing a lingering kiss on Rogers' cheek. He looks into your eyes, as if you were a forbidden fruit he longed to taste. After the goodbyes, you both head to the parking lot.
"Where did you leave your car?" Steve asks, his arm somehow still draped around you. You smile a bit sheepishly and point to his car, just ahead of where you stand.
"As your wife, I had to borrow something personal of yours, you know, to make it seem real," you explain, trying to justify yourself as you watch Steve pull away and rush to his car, checking it over to ensure everythingâs intact.
"No one wouldâve known that your car belongs exclusively to you, my dear fake wife. But since thereâs no damage, Iâm glad you enjoyed it. Now hand over the keys," Steve says confidently, as if he's ready to drive. But you shake your head, denying him the keys.
"The doctor said yesterday that you need to rest your arm for the next few days, and thatâs why I came to pick you upâto take you home. After this, I suggest you call a ride service, a taxi, or use public transport," you say, opening the passenger door for him. He gives you a reluctant look, clearly displeased with not driving. Yet something in your fierce gaze and impatient grunt convinces Steve to get into the car, and soon enough, feeling victorious, you get in as well. In no time, youâre driving toward Steveâs house.
"My house is nearby. You must be wondering how I'm already living in a place, considering I just got back to the city," Steve says, fidgeting with his fingers, his voice a little slurred as if still under the influence of painkillers. "I'm staying in Bucky's old place. He's probably furious that he can't go back thereâit wouldâve made a good hideout. Maybe that's why he shot me. Or maybe it was Natasha's idea." He mumbles some of his words, and you try to keep a neutral expression, knowing full well that heâs aware it was either one of them who shot him.
"How do you know it was one of them? It could've been anyone. And if you donât mind me asking, who is Natasha?" Your award-worthy performance of feigned ignorance seems almost convincing even to yourself. You watch as Steve stops fiddling with his fingersâdespite the braceâand looks at you, as if carefully considering his response. He lets out a heavy sigh before speaking.
"As for the shot, you already know. Even when Iâm not all here, I can still tell when you're lying. But Natasha... she was Buckyâs partner before he started working with the wrong people. They had a pretty close partnership, you could say. It was the first time in years I thought Bucky could actually have a healthy relationship with someone. They loved avoiding unnecessary emotions, obsessed with fieldwork, and even today, theyâre both still great marksmen."
Steve pauses, his frustration palpable, and continues, "Their partnership ended when Bucky took on an undercover mission that was too dangerous for Romanoff. She didnât want to lose herself in the disguise. Iâm betting he ran straight to her for help, and that pisses me off. He couldâve come to meâI wouldâve helped him. Now itâs my job to bring him in for questioning." His frustration boils over as he bangs his braced arm against the car's dashboard, letting out a grunt. You canât quite tell if itâs the pain or the possibility of a scratch on the car that bothers him more. As he speaks, you finally start piecing together the puzzle of Barnes' past life and who Natasha is to him, though only on a surface level.
"Surely he must have had a good reason for not reaching out to you. As for him being your possible shooter, it seems foolish to believe there's any justification for him to have put your well-being at risk. Maybe heâs no longer your best friend; perhaps heâs just a reckless man." You speak, carefully holding back your true thoughts. This might be the perfect moment to reveal everything you know to Steve Rogers, to make it clear that youâre aware of much more than you let on. But you canât bring yourself to do it. You feel like a pathetic fool, unwilling to risk your crush being put in jeopardy.
"You two had a fight while I was in the hospital, didnât you? Your words are so sincere; you must really believe Bucky is an idiot for shooting me. Well, know that he isnât. The shot was practically perfect, it didnât do much damage. Heâs just trying to keep me away. But heâs not a cruel or reckless man." Steve says, looking at you as if searching for a reaction that confirms his suspicions. You park the car in front of the address Steve gave you and lean closer after unbuckling your seatbelt, then do the same for him.
"Mr. Rogers, understand once and for all that your friend and I have nothing. Why would a man with such a dangerous life want anything to do with a mere bakery owner? It doesnât make sense. But I hope things get clarified between you two soon. Now let me help you to your house, and then weâll part ways and never see each other again," you say, locking eyes with him as you undo his seatbelt.
Steve's face, which was almost smiling, turns serious. "I want another date; our last one was definitely interrupted." He leans in slightly closer, your faces mere inches apart. Youâre taken by surprise, trying to fathom what Steve could possibly want from you now.
"Let's get inside your house quickly; the painkillers must be talking for you. In case you don't remember, your only interest in me is to know about your Bucky, nothing to do with wanting my company," you say firmly, noticing him staring at your lips as he contemplates his response.
"That was before you saved my life. Now my interest in you is personal. I promise to try not to expose your lies on this second date. How about I pick you up in a week when my doctor says I can start putting effort into my arm again?" Steve replies, a hint of determination in his eyes.
"You just said that whoever shot you didn't intend to kill you, Mr. Rogers. I merely took you to a hospital," you say as you exit the car, then open the passenger door and lean toward him. "And I don't understand the need for your arm's recovery. Now, put your arm around my neck, and let's go inside; it's getting cold out here." It really is getting colder since you left the hospital. He leans on you, remaining silent, likely fearing that you might let go if you get annoyed or uncomfortable with something he says. Itâs only when you both enter his house with some difficulty, and you lay him down on his large, comfortable sofa, that he grabs your hand before you can step away.
âI need my good arm to be free so I can give you all the fun and pleasure a real date with me could offer. Give me that chance, and I promise I wonât bother you again,â Steve says, smiling as he looks up at you.
You contemplate his face for a few moments, considering whether you truly want to go on a date with Steve. Gently, you caress his hand before moving it away from your arm.
"Next week, make that proposal to me againâwith your arm fully recovered. Letâs see what my answer will be then. For now, I'm going home. Take care of yourself, Mr. Rogers," you say as you watch him give you a victorious smile. Before leaving Steveâs house, you place his car keys on the kitchen counter.
As you hear him shout a "See you next week," you take a rideshare back to your apartment, eager to rest. However, upon arriving at your door, a sense of alertness washes over you. Given the recent events, you had decided to keep a can of pepper spray in your bag for self-defense. If some thug were to try to rummage through your things or rob you, they would certainly regret it. Without hesitation, you slowly open the door and spray pepper spray at the first figure you see in front of you. Barnes lets out a grunt of pain, murmuring "fuck, fuck, fuck" repeatedly as he covers his eyes.
âWhat the hell do you think you're doing? This stuff got in my eyes!â Barnes growls, writhing as he tries to rub the pepper spray out. Without hesitation, you rush to the kitchen, grabbing cold water and a cloth.
âHold still, Iâm trying to help,â you say, but he pulls back sharply, resisting your touch. Your patience snaps. Pushing him against the counter, you press your body firmly against his, taking control of the situation. You pull his hands away from his face with swift determination and begin gently wiping his eyes with the cold, damp cloth. As you carefully clean the remaining spray, his tense frame finally stills, allowing you to tend to him without further protest.
"Apparently, you must have suffered some kind of brain damage if you think trying to shoot me compares to me simply defending myself from an intruder. We're nowhere near being even, Barnes." You place the cloth down on the kitchen counter and turn to take in your apartment. Bucky had brought a bouquet of roses, most likely as a peace offering.
"I missed having you around, even when it feels like you want to hit me," Barnes says, his gaze fixed on you. You immediately turn to face him. You so dearly wish to trust his words, but lately, it seems as though heâs been toying with you.
"Thereâs no need to come at me with your charm, trying to use me again. I have no intention of continuing to be manipulated by you," you say with firm resolve, attempting to distance yourself from Bucky, though you donât truly wish to. Yet, he pulls you closer, pressing you against the kitchen counter before lifting you onto it. He positions himself before you, standing between your legs. You lock eyes, both wearing expressions of seriousness.
"As if much evidence were needed to reach that conclusion. You hid in my restaurant because you had likely already noticed my little crush on you. Then, you must have used me to provoke your partner, with whom you had a relationshipâso much so that she thought it necessary to nearly shoot me. And finally, you are using me to distract Steve. It's all clear now: Iâm just a simple woman you decided to manipulate because Iâm naĂŻve enough." You spill your conclusions, struggling to contain the sadness welling within you. He shakes his head as if to deny everything, his body language betraying his discomfort under the weight of your accusations.
"You must think Iâm a monster. If you believe Iâm manipulating you because youâre an easy target, youâre sorely mistaken. You simply fail to see whatâs right in front of you," he says, running a hand through his hair as if trying to calm himself. He is clearly irritated, yet there is a hint of sadness in his expression. "The day we met, you asked me how my day was going. I told you I was having a tough day. You said everything could be fixed with a cup of coffee and then handed me one. I sipped your bitter coffee and told you it was delicious. Do you know why? Your eyesâthey told me you were worth the effort of pretending to enjoy it. I donât live near your bakery; I was there while working undercover, and even then, I used my real last name because I didnât want to lie to you. I fought against the urge to ask you out for months because I knew I would have to deceive you. But I returned almost every day to your bakery because I wanted to see you. To drink your bitter coffee and taste your new recipes. Because seeing you made me feel normal," he confesses, his face just inches from yours. For a moment, you feel a pang of guilt, realizing you may have crossed a line.
"I want to say that I donât trust a word of what youâve said, but the truth is, even if youâre using me, thereâs nothing I can do to stop it. And if my accusations have offended you, I apologize. Itâs just that youâre not sincere with me. You didnât tell me about Natasha, and IâŠ" You pause, contemplating your next words. Should you admit that you feel somewhat jealous? Or that youâre considering accepting a date with his best friend? At this moment, everything feels so confusing to you.
"Youâve drawn your own conclusions. I donât blame you, but I canât reveal more than what you already know. So, in the end, youâre right to conclude that Iâm using you. What other justification could there be for all of this, right?" Buckyâs expression and tone reflect a certain weight, a gravity that hangs in the air. Itâs amusing how you find yourselves engaged in this relationship discussion that doesnât truly exist, all while so close to one another. He continues to occupy the space between your legs, positioned right beside your body, as if holding you in place. The question remains: do you want him to step back?
"If that is all you have to say, then you had best leave," you reply, unsettled by the casual way he speaks, as though he isnât erecting a wall between you. Yet, instead of stepping away, he draws closer, a tension growing between you that had not fully existed before. His hands gently cup your face, and you close your eyes, trying your best not to give in just yet.
"Do you truly want me to leave?" Barnes asks, his fingers brushing over your cheeks, then tracing your lips. You open your eyes to meet his gazeâthose blue eyes, the most beautiful youâve ever seen, fixed intently on you. You shake your head no, still watching him, unable to look away.
"I want you to want me. But nothing suggests that weâll cast aside reason and embrace this mutual attraction," you say softly, as though too shy to openly admit your desire for him.
"To hell with reason," Barnes replies, pulling you toward him. His lips, possessive, devour yours as though he were savoring your taste. You return the kiss, urging Barnes to press even closer to you. Your hands explore his body while he holds your face, deepening the kiss with fervor. Your hands trail down Barnes' back, when you reach his rear, you squeeze his ass. He lets out a drawn-out moan near your ear as he starts to reach for the opening in your pants. With impressive agility he manages to help you take off your pants while holding you closer to him.
"Fuck me on the couch, Barnes. I want a reminder of you every time that I sit on it," you say with your mouth still pressed against his. He immediately picks you up, carrying you to your couch. You let out a little laugh, as if you were getting nervous but at the same time excited. Which was true, she'd wanted to have this moment with him for so long her mind was almost exploding. Barnes leans you against the edge of the couch as if he wants to support you there to continue where you left off. You reach for the hem of his shirt, ripping it off his body immediately. He's definitely as ripped as you'd expect him to be. Gently, you begin to kiss his belly, from bottom to top. When you kiss near his neck, he holds your face; pulling you in for a kiss. A slow kiss, as your tongues find each other's rhythm. He only breaks the kiss when he realizes that you still have a lot of clothes on.
"I hope to make you have a pleasant memory of our time together," he kisses your neck as he removes the rest of his clothes and yours. When he lowers the strap of your bra, he places small kisses on your shoulder. While with one hand he opened the clasp of your bra, as it fell to the floor, he massaged your breast. His cold fingers made contact with the tip of her breast, pulling it lightly. Then he ended up grabbing the other breast while massaging the other. His warm tongue sucking your left breast while his cold fingers pinched your right breast. Between your moans and his grunts, you were being deliciously explored by Barnes.
"I want your cock, Bucky. Inside me, fucking me; I want to feel you," you say almost as if you were pleading. The smug smile Barnes gives you makes you almost regret what you said.
"Your wish is my command," Barnes says, stopping whatever he was doing and spreading your legs, positioning himself at the entrance to your pussy. "Tell me how much you need me, Y/N. Tell me what you want from me," Barnes whispers as he teases you by lightly thrusting his cock into your pussy. His fingers stimulating your entrance too, massaging your pussy that is already wet, by the feeling of almost having his dick there.
"I've wanted you since I laid eyes on you, I want to feel you deep inside me," you say almost as a mumble. Your fingers scratch Barnes's six-pack, making him let out a groan. His eyes light up the moment he looks at you and finally, he penetrates you. His cock is completely inside you almost as if it were throbbing with pure lust. You let out a loud sigh, grabbing his bare ass with your hands. You help him with the movements, while he thrusts into you. The feeling of grabbing his ass while he puts his dick in you, it's almost divine. Your moans increase with each thrust of his, as you feel an explosion of pleasure take over you. At this moment it doesn't matter that your ass is hurting a little, that your back is in a almost uncomfortable position. The pleasure of being fucked by James Barnes is far greater than any momentary discomfort.
"Hold on to me, princess. My body is yours to do with as you please," Bucky speaks and you grab his neck, scratching him as you feel your orgasm form as Barnes continues to thrust his cock into you. As if he notices that you are about to cum, he starts thrusting more slowly, as if he wants to prolong the moment. You hold him close to you, nibbling on his ear and then kissing him. Finally you both come, almost in sync. You melt in his arms, not feeling strong enough to pull away from him.
"How about we take a bath together and then we can go to bed?" Bucky says while you don't even have the strength to answer him.You just nod your head and let him carry you to the bathroom.
You wake up in bed, uncertain whether what happened on the sofa was reality or merely a figment of your desire. Yet, your body confirms that you and Barnes truly slept together. But the other side of the bed is emptyâhe left while you were still asleep. Perhaps itâs for the best; this way, you wonât foster false hopes. Maybe it will hurt less if you pretend it was just a dream. You rise, though standing proves a bit difficult, and upon seeing the time, you rush to open the bakery. After a refreshing shower, you slip into a loose dress, tie up your hair, and hurry out to open your bakery.
But something feels offâyou sense that someone is following you. Perhaps it's paranoia, yet the feeling lingers. Just before grabbing the keys to open the bakery, you turn around. It turns out you werenât paranoid after all. A strange man, wearing a cap and dark sunglasses, stands right behind you. He pulls a knife and thrusts it into your stomach. The force of the blow causes you to stagger slightly as you lock eyes with him.
"Tell Barnes he canât hide forever. Tell him Alexander Pierce sends his regards," the man sneers, twisting the knife deeper. "Hail, Hydra!" he exclaims before yanking the blade out of you and running off.
It feels as though your world has stopped, your life flashing before your eyes. All the times you wanted something but let it slip away, all the moments you couldnât be who you were meant to be. The mistakes made, the victories earned. Your eyes grow heavy as you clutch the wound, feeling your blood spilling from you. Then, through the haze, you see a figure rushing toward you, and you recognize him instantly. A weak smile forms on your lips.
"I knew you'd be my hero," you whisper, as the strong arm of the man holds you steady. "Donât worry, Iâll take care of you," is all you hear before you lose consciousness.
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I have a confession to make: I love Pansy Parkinson.
I love her little snub nose, I love her big DH moment (even though as readers we're supposed to hate it) but, most of all, I love her because jkr hates her.
I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this either, we have it straight from the horse's mouth:
I loathe Pansy Parkinson. I don't love Draco but I really dislike her. She's every girl who ever teased me at school. She's the Anti-Hermione. I loathe her. Yeah, sorry! Sidetracked there by my latent bitterness.
("PotterCast Interviews J.K. Rowling, part two." PotterCast #131, 24 December 2007)
I recently found myself wondering how, for a self-professed Pansy stan, I sure know very little about her as a character. If we take aside the fact that I derive psychic joy from being a contrarian (especially when it comes to jkr and her garbage views), is book Pansy actually an interesting character or do I just like the Pansy that the fandom's collective unconscious created? Who even is Pansy, really?
Because I'm me and there's no problem that can't be answered by amassing huge amounts of informations, I went ahead and prepared
a Persuasive Primer to Pansy Parkinson
PART 1: PANSY'S PERSONAGE
The character of Pansy Parkinson has been present in the Harry Potter series since book 1. Her name shows up briefly during Harry's sorting since she's close to him in the class list but her first real appearance occurs during the Remembrall Incident, where jkr sets up two of her character's mainstays: her looks and her meanness.
This very first description of Pansy's face as severe and pitiless-looking is perhaps the kindest one we get in the books, since the only other times Harry, our narrator, bothers to describe her appearance he calls her pug-faced, which incidentally is where we as a fandom (and, clearly, the HP movies casting directors) got the idea that she has a snub nose.
Other than these vague and unkind descriptors, Pansy's looks are left to our imagination; the brunette bob she is well known for is a movie creation and the only other description relating to her appearance is that of the robes she wears for the Yule Ball in book 4, which are very frilly and pale pink.
As any scholar of JKR Studies worth their salt can tell you, jkr is a consummate misogynist who loathes pink and only uses it in order to give a negative connotation to something/someone; pink=girly, which is bad, and frilly=superfluously, ostentatiously girly, which is the worst possible thing a female character in the jkr extended universe can be. jkr has a lot of opinions on what constitutes an acceptable performance of femininity and the character of Pansy Parkinson exists to exemplify the complete opposite of that.
PART 2: A PERNICIOUS PERSONALITY
What can we learn from Pansy's tone? Firstly that she is shrill and annoying, as she shrieks and screeches; in her role as part of Draco's entourage she's both a mindless follower who simpers and an active participant who spreads gossip and maligns by whispering and giggling mean-spiritedly.
jkr created Pansy in the image of the girls who bullied her in her youth so Pansy has an entourage all of her own, an unnamed gang of Slytherin girls (they're always referred to as such, no further description provided) who appear in a greek chorus-like fashion to herald the bullying of Hermione (Ideal Woman and self-insert supreme).
So, what can we learn from Pansy's insults? well, for one that she doesn't like "fat little crybabies", as shown in the excerpt above. Furthermore, when she's not parroting Draco's insults, Pansy shows a single minded preoccupation with the life and looks of one Hermione Jean Granger
(from GoF, Pansy has Opinions of Rita's Skeeter's aricle)
(from GoF, Pansy is there to show us that Hermione was Beautiful All Along)
(from GoF, Pansy helps Rita Skeeter with her character piece)
(from GoF, Hermione suffers the fallout from Rita's article, Pansy is vigilant to any and all Hermione news)
We'll look more closely at Pansy and Hermione's relationship in a short while but for now let us focus on more of Pansy's barbs; I would like to take to this moment to highlight the following:
(from OoTP, Draco's gang shows up to the Gryffindor quidditch practice to do some heckling)
I find it notable that the only time Pansy insults the looks of someone who isn't Hermione it's when she makes a racist microaggression towards Angelina Johnson, one of the very few black characters in the books. While this is unquestionably vile behaviour, I struggle with interpreting jkr's intentions: does jkr even know and/or understand microaggressions? Is Pansy's insult even meant to be interpreted as racist? Does racism as we know it even exist in the hp universe?
Personally, I've always gotten the impression that the wizarding world was meant to represent a post-racial society in a very United Colors of Benetton, "I don't see race" kind of way that is very typical of nineties pseudo-liberalism, no doubt to give more space to her blood purity system (and because someone like jkr has no interest in even mentioning the pervasive effects of racism in society). Still, let's not discount what is no doubt one of Pansy's lowest moments in the books, regardless of the reading we choose vis Ă vis jkr's intent.
To cleanse our palates, here's a more benign insult:
(from OoTP, Harry and Cho's date is but a collection of unfortunate moments)
While I'd put the Cedric reference pretty high on the Insensitivity Scale, I find myself reluctantly entertained by Pansy's drive-by read, especially because Harry IS a garbage boyfriend to Cho.
What else do we know about Pansy's personality from the books? For one, that she likes unicorns but considers showing it outright to be undignified:
(from PoA)
We know that Pansy is made a Prefect in OotP and, while the books never specify the parameters used to choose Prefects and Hermione implies Pansy wasn't chosen for her smarts ("she's thicker than a concussed troll" is the actual quote, though Hermione's objectivity is questionable), we can assume that, at the very least, she is somewhat of a leader among the Slytherin girls (on account of the aforementioned gang).
Finally, we never hear Pansy's opinion on blood purity although it's safe to assume that it's not terribly progressive on account of the company she keeps.
PART 3: PASSIONATE PARAMOUR
While the books never state conclusively wether Pansy and Draco are ever a couple (in fact, neither of them says a word about the other in the books), we know both from statements jkr has made irl and from the in-universe characters' opinions that we are supposed to treat them as a couple of sorts. The evidence for that is as follows:
Draco is implied to exagerate the extent of his Buckbeak injury in order to garner sympathy from Pansy in PoA:
Pansy is Draco's date to GoF's Yule Ball
the infamous carriage scene in HBP:
and
and
Ron assumes that the boasting witnessed by Harry on the train was done in order to impress Pansy.
and
Regardless of wether you want to read their relationship as romantic or not, Draco and Pansy clearly hang out together a lot from the ages of 13 onwards; Pansy is often mentioned as part of Draco's posse together with Crabbe and Goyle and she's further shown as an active participant in his various schemes, most notably in the popularisation of Weasley is Our King:
(from OotP)
Pansy appears to have a genuine interest in Draco's wellbeing as shown by her concern when Draco is injured by Buckbeak in PoA:
and
Pansy if further shown to be understandably upset when Harry guts Draco like a fish in HBP:
So we can conclude that, although we have no idea of Draco's feelings, Pansy feels authentic affection for Draco.
PART 4: HERMIONE HATER?
Pansy is positioned as sort of the Female Draco: while Draco's job is to antagonize Harry and Ron, Pansy is there to deliver the Girl insults to Hermione, the Girl One of the trio. While jkr's intention was no doubt to paint Pansy as a straightforward bully, her singleminded interest in Hermione displays the same pigtail-pulling connotations as Draco's behaviour throughout the books.
Their first exchange comes by courtesy of Hermione, who hits her with her trademark condescension, which seems to specifically drive Slytherins mad like nothing else (the first "mudblood of the books comes as a direct response to one such occasion):
(from GoF, Pansy enjoys the potter stinks badges, hermione begs to disagree)
Following this exchange, we start to see Pansy engage in your typical Mean Girl behavior, which, apart from the preoccupation with her looks shown above, also includes laughing at Hermione's expense:
(from GoF, Hermione was hit by a stray curse and her teeth grew to a comical size)
and
(from GoF, Pansy shows hermione the infamous "harry is in love with Hermione" article by Rita Skeeter, which features a quote from her)
While we never see Hermione respond in kind (since her preferred method of dealing with bullies is the could shoulder), we know that this behavior definitely colors her opinion of Pansy
(from OotP, Hermione is displeased when Pansy is made Prefect)
and
(from OotP, Fred and George's departure from school left a vacuum in the prankster hierarchy and all manners of students jumped up to fill the spot)
All in all, we don't have a very precise read on the relationship between the two: do Pansy and Hermione exchange barbs whenever they meet? are they enemies or is Hermione a sainted martyr suffering in silence (on account of her moral superiority)? Just how closely do they parallel Harry and Draco's rivalry? You decide.
PART 5: PANSY'S POLEMICAL POSITION
Finally, we come to Pansy's Big Moment
(from DH, Pansy says the quiet part out loud and is banished for it)
During the Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy displays the ultimate act of Evil (in jkr's eyes) by not behaving Bravely when faced with an impossible decision. To give context, Voldemort has just given the students of Hogwarts a way out of the whole mess:
Personally, I hate this scene. Pansy doesn't know shit about just how essential Harry is to ending the whole shebang; furthermore, she's just a scared student living out her own version of the trolley problem and yet the narrative frames her (imho) understandable reaction not only as unforgivable cowardice on her part but has a condemnation of Slytherin house as a whole.
I hate how the Hogwarts student body is alternatively portrayed as a mindless horde whose opinion can be swayed by the faintest of rumors (as seen by public opinion turning on Harry in CoS, GoF and OotP) and as a prop to show the Right Way. The Hogwarts student body is essentially pulling a Spartacus moment except their reactions are somehow neatly divided into Houses: it's not some individuals who choose to react bravely and motivate the rest, its the Gryffindors as a whole, moving like a single-minded hive, who influence the other single-minded hives of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaw. The individuality of all of these people is ignored in service of an impactful scene and the one person who shows a dissenting thought is summarily removed (together with the Evil Slytherin hive, which did not express any opinions but is nonetheless blackened by association).
jkr's bullshit black-and-white worldview rears its ugly head here and what could have been a genuinely moving moment of student solidarity - showing people from different backgrounds coming to the defense of Hogwarts together - becomes a condemnation of those who dare oppose the righteous horde instead.
In a moment in the books that feels very biblical, the non-believer who dares doubt the Savior is shunned and summarily dealt with (which opens up a whole can of worms about the Jesus-ification of Harry that I'm not prepared to go into). Pansy is merely a prop in this scene, a stand-in for the whole of her house, yet I appreciate her very human reaction: she's the only person in that room to show individuality, expressing the fear and doubt that most people would feel when placed in a similar situation.
I appreciate how Pansy goes against the grain in one of my least favorite scenes in the whole books but I acknowledge that her big moment is not really about her, nor does it tell us anything about her character that we didn't already know: All Slytherins Are Evil and the best they can hope for is to just be slimy and opportunistic (Ă la Slughorn) instead of straight up villains.
PART 6: PERSONAL PERORATION (or: I really shot myself in the leg with the whole alliteration thing)
So, what did we learn kids? First of all that the Pansy in the books, as intend by jkr, is an irredeemable, uninteresting shitstain, less of a fully-formed character and more like a vaguely defined caricature of a Mean Girl.
While my instinct is to go against this cartoonish portrayal and attempt to read some complexity in her thoughts and motivations, I acknowledge that, to some, Pansy is forever tainted by the harsh way in which she's depicted and therefore will forever remain unlikeable. Personally, I find myself drawn by characters with seemingly nebulous motivations and, since I don't share jkr's shitty deterministic worldview, I can see scenarios where she grows as a person; I enjoy seeing different explorations of her characters in fics just like I enjoy reading about her fellow b-team villains in general.
Choose the path that sparks the most joy for you and live your truths my friends, ignore this primer completely or allow it to change (or reinforce) your opinion of Pansy, your feelings are valid regardless.
xoxo
#hp#hp meta#harry potter meta#Pansy Parkinson#the blorger special#it didn't fit anywhere else but#fic Pansy is often either a lipstick lesbian of a helpful fag hag and I find that entertaining#fanon pansy is fun and that is a major reason why I like her#pansy my beloved
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On the subject of Light Yagami, Misa Amane, and guilt (guilt as in culpability and guilt as in the internal experience of feeling guilty): [Rambled about this as part of a response to an ask game but decided I'd pop it into its own post too 'cause I ended up writing a lot on the topic lol]
The question was: was misa just as guilty as light? Ooh, guilt in relation to Misa and Light is interesting to think about. On the one hand, I do think that they're both culpable for their actions at the end of the day. I have maybe some more grace to extend Misa in terms of her having an understandable reason to go down that path, what with her parents being murdered (and almost being murdered herself). Like, that's a level of trauma that makes you go, 'yeah, I can understand why she was all-in on killing criminals with the death note, even if I don't agree.' Light, on the other hand, had this good, stable, pretty privileged home life, in addition to him being a top student, talented, handsome, etc. He's got less of an excuse, you know? The fact that Misa's drawn to Kira's ideals out of lived trauma, whereas Light is drawn to those ideals largely out of ego is sort of a meaningful distinction. (By ego I don't just mean the belief that he's exceptional, but I mean -- the way he is so desperately driven to protect his conception of himself as a Good Person. That's a tragic and heart-rending manifestation of ego, but it's still about protecting his ego). But I also think there's 'guilt' on the level of the actions and choices you make regardless of motivations, and I'd see them as more equal on that front. Misa was an enthusiastic DN user and participant in Kira's plans/ideology. She's motivated by different things than he is, but she makes her choices knowingly. I think it would be diminishing of her agency and complexity to say that she's less responsible for her actions than Light is, if that makes sense. (Also, there are things Misa is guilty of that Light isn't, and vice versa. E.g., Misa pushes Light's boundaries in a way that can be very uncomfortable; Light uses Misa/others without real regard for them).
Now, beyond all that... the question is obviously about their culpability for their use of the DN. But it also makes me think about each of their *experiences* of guilt internally, and that might be even more interesting to me. I think that their relationship to guilt is one of the things that makes them so divergent from one another. Because... running away from guilt is such a huge part of what propels Light to go all out with the Kira thing. So much of his psyche is shaped around that black pit of guilt where whispers of "I did a bad thing. If I did a bad thing I'm not a good person" come from. He diligently tries to cover over that and barricade it off. He crafts an ideology that makes his murders righteous, and commits to making a New World(tm) where the meaning of 'good/right' is reshaped around that. He makes himself a God so that his actions are beyond judgment, or at least he is, because his murders are divine - they're acts of creation, even of love and self-sacrifice. And then Misa... well, guilt doesn't seem to be as obvious a factor for her, whether as motivation or reaction. I mean, I could imagine a reading where there's some well of underlying guilt about the death of her parents and her survival -- I think that would make sense given the circumstances. But... we never actually see that kind of Bruce Wayne -esque psychology peeking through, so that feels more like headcanon territory than direct analysis. Obviously she has deep feelings about the murder of her parents, but she has a very different relationship to guilt than Light. She usually comes across as very free from guilt. She knows what she wants and what her priorities are, and she pursues those without shame. She's impressed by Kira so she becomes the second Kira; she decides she loves Light and wants to be with him regardless of whether he even likes her, so she pursues that undeterred by his response to her. It feels like Misa is always calmly pushing forward toward what she wants, whereas Light's sprint forward toward his New World is really a running-away-from. But at the same time... what kind of underlying emptiness would make someone so completely devotional in the way Misa is, wanting to devote themselves to someone who mostly loathes them, to the point of not even seeming to be hurt by that person's disdain for them as long as they can still have that person in their life? I think there's definitely beneath-the-surface stuff with Misa, but it comes across like guilt is a colour that just doesn't exist in her world. Whereas with Light, every shadow in his world is the colour of guilt. If goodness or righteousness are the rays of the sun, Light Yagami is the moon that reflects the sunlight while trying to create a reality in which those rays are his -- are him -- a reality in which he becomes the sun. And yet he's a moon, and the dark side of it that he disavows is guilt, is 'I did a bad thing', is 'what if I'm not a good boy?' (Wow, went overboard with the metaphors there but too lazy to edit lol).
#just a copy-paste of this part of my ask game response so if you've already read that this is just the same lol#my thoughts on misa are so nebulous though. maybe she's running from guilt in her own way too but has been doing it for longer and thus#has put more distance between herself and guilt such that it's not visible in the rear-view mirror anymore. I'm not sure haha.#thanks applestorms for the inciting ask!! loved thinking about this question#death note analysis#light yagami#misa amane#death note
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Love Sky to Love Sea connection
Alright, so I was going over everything following the news that our beloved FortPeat are going to be the main couple in a new show for Mame.
And if you have been partaking in Mame BLs for a while, you may be aware that all of her novels and the shows that are based on them have existed in the same universe up until this point (a la the MCU). Following the creation of MeMindY she has not cast previous actors from her shows into new roles, instead having them return in cameos as the universe progressed forward.
It's easy to understand why she would choose this moment to recast FortPeat (and very likely BossNouel, but that confirmation will come in a couple of days). The chief reason of course being money, Love in the Air was arguably one of her most successful series, equaled only by TharnType. This is due to the stories, the performances, and also just luck of timing. The boom of BL shows for international audiences, from what I can tell, occurred in late 2021 - early 2022, with shows like Cutie Pie and Kinnporsche (and the impeccable chemistry presented in both) being some of the most common first forays into BL. I have only assumptions and inferences as to why this is, I think the popularity of shows like Love Victor and HeartStopper on streaming services led more people to essentially google more queer media, and found that there is a rather awesome amount being produced in Thailand, but in South East Asia and East Asia altogether. I also know a number of people were on the K-Drama to BL pipeline, assisted by Netflix and Viki. But back to my point, generally I think the popularity of MewGulf and JaFirst locally, or at least within SEA is fairly equal, but the inclusion of a much larger international audience at the time when Love in the Air came out has created a level of popularity that I don't think Mame expected.
I think another very valid reason why Love in the Air is incredibly popular is that while it exhibits some of her 'classic Mame' tropes like histories and instances of SA, and her ever-present 'No Kink', it is arguably one of the less problematic stories that we've seen on screen so far form her. (And this is coming from someone who actually likes a lot of Mame's stories, though I'd imagine my affection for brat-type characters is a leading cause of this.) This means that for many viewers for whom this was a first foray into Mame's universe and characters were not being immediately put off by some of the more problematic scenes and storylines presented in previous shows.
Mame has most certainly observed the potential for success in recasting these well-liked actors/pairs in other companies, top of said list being pairs like ZeeNunew, EarthMix, FirstKhaotung, and many others. So to take a pair whose chemistry and ease onset is equal to those and cast them in a new role, while breaking a previously established 'rule' is certainly a choice where the potential benefits far outweigh the risk. Literally the only 'risk' is potential confusion from those that are aware of the fact that ALL of Mame's work exists in a single universe, which if you came in on the LITA train is not likely to be something you would know. You may know of the clear connection to Sailom and Nuea presented in Wedding Plan, but connections to the further universe beyond LITA are limited to two rather small cameos that even I didn't pick up on immediately. (These cameos being the brief appearance of the twins and Leon from Don't Say No.)
So, I wanted to give an idea of what exactly is the connection between their existing LITA characters, but also the kind of show why it's really not going to be as big of a deal as far as causing confusion. This is a diagram of the existing Mame universe in terms of her novels, I've updated it as needed to include the connections to Prapai and adding in the Love Sea story as well. I have included a link to the original as well.
I've placed stars for the LoveSky/LoveStorm stories and then added ones by Love Sea and The Boy Next World (which we anticipate to star Boss and Noeul). Because the universe is so large, it is a bit confusing, so I did break it down into more simplified connections.
Hearts represent romantic relationships and the dashes are platonic. most of them are just friendships of various types, though Tharn and Pookan are cousins. But as you can see there is at least 5 people between the characters in LITA and the actors' new characters. So even in-universe the likelihood of these characters ever meeting would be slim, but beyond that the connection of LITA to the over-arching Love by Chance universe is pretty tenuous as previously mentioned.
In the case specifically of Love Sea, this is an unpublished novel, so it's possible Mame will remove or choose to leave out any mentions to the greater universe (meaning either changing the name of Kom's character if he is present in the scripted version, or leaving him out altogether). In the case of The Boy Next World, Pookan is related to Tharn, but let's be honest, do we really expect Mew to show up in a cameo? He's already moved on from Mame, TT, and the MewGulf ship. At best we may get fanservice in the way of a name drop, and it's possible we could see other characters from TT, but I'm skeptical. Since Pookan barely shows up in TT at all, the better option, especially with the passage of time since the first season of TT came out, is to have him be Tharn's cousin, but have him attending university after Tharn has graduated. And that's really only if you want to include that connection, you really don't have to. Given the amount of detail that we get about secondary characters in a lot of these shows, it wouldn't really be that difficult to simply rename any characters that cross over into the greater universe because there's just not going to be enough specific detail to really connect them.
I did also want to include the small amount that we know about Fort and Peat's new characters. We of course don't have much information yet, but there was some crumbs dropped at the recent fanmeet and appearances.
Their characters are Mahasamut(Fort) and Tongrak(Peat). Mahasamut is the son of a hotel owner who after a falling out is now living on his own. It looks as though he is quite young, along the same age of Fort IRL, and he is working as a tour guide to support himself. He is someone who is, I would say, likely lower income, and he's very ambitious and at this current time his goal is to kind of amass a certain amount of savings. He is running his own company as a tour guide and is considered very popular among foreigners both because he can speak good English but also because he is very charismatic. The information given at the fanmeet also includes that he has a diving certificate and is also good at fighting. How that will come up in the story, I don't know.đ
If their hints are to be believed, these characters will be in the same age dynamic as Fort and Peat meaning that Peat's character Tongrak will be older than Fort's character. Tongrak is a writer, specifically of romance novels. He is wealthy, though it is unclear if that is through his career or familial wealth. There's a strange emphasis on how beautiful he is, but in fairness Peat does very accurately fill that criteria. It also says that he does not talk about having a partner, he goes his own way, tends to be a loner. And this is with the implication that this is a result of past negative romantic experiences. Because Mame is who she is, there's also a possibility that part of his solitude is the result of past violence from a previous partner. Fort and Peat did state that they felt the story for this series is more challenging than Love Sky (which honestly scares me a little). But out of all of the stories Mame has told so far, I did feel that Sky's story was handled the best, so hopefully that trend continues.
It's not clear currently if Mame will be directing this series as well, previously she has only directed Wedding Plan, while all of her other series, even those produced by MMY did have other hired directors. We can see from the behind the scenes footage that even with a separate director, Mame was heavily involved in the filming, so her touch will be there regardless.
As far as further timelines, based on past series it is usually about 5-6 months from announcement of a series (and the cast) to the premiere of said series. It does depend on many different variables. The length of the show being one, as well as the level of difficulty. LITA was a more complex series with some pretty large set pieces (the night time races) and more complex scenes in terms of filming (the Stop and Payu race) in comparison to Wedding Plan. Since we don't have a published novel to study and theorize about potential scenes and the difficulties of filming, I can't really give much insight. I will say that the specific inclusion of the fact that Mahasamut holds a diving certification could indicate some diving/underwater filmed scenes. While those are not necessarily super complex, they can be time consuming, require special permits, are very weather dependent, and would require special filming equipment. I also very sincerely hope that if Mame does venture in that direction that she will also make sure that specialists with the necessary expertise are on set to maintain the safety of both the cast and crew. I know what the requirements are in western media, but not in Thailand. What all this boils down to though is that I would not expect the series to premiere earlier than February, and I'd put my bets on March. It's possible she may film a special trailer like she did with LITA, and if that happens, then we may see footage in late November or December, if not I expect a trailer after the New Year. A lot of this actively depends on when we get confirmation that filming has started.
I did also want to note, that while we expect Boss and Noeul to be the leads for The Boy Next World, since she is announcing that after Love Sea, I'm also expecting that to be filmed after Love Sea, even though we suspected that BNW was on the docket way back in March, Boss is still attached to Zomvivor with Mandee/Domundi, which could begin filming this fall, though that's not fully confirmed, it's based on the schedule presented at their look-aheads last year and what has already filmed and aired. But my point is that Boss may not be free to commit to the filming of BNW for a couple of months. There's a lot of variables that go into it.
But anyway...I hope this little rundown/update was helpful. If you have questions and I can answer them, my asks are open.
#Love Sea the series#Love Sea#FortPeat#Fort Thitipong#Peat Wasuthorn#BossNoeul#Boss Chaikamon#Noeul Nuttarat#Love in the Air#Love in the Air the series#LITA#Mame BL#Thai BL#The Boy Next World#The Boy Next World the series#MeMindY#MMY
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do you have any theories or headcanons about luna's mom and what she was researching and how she died?
Well, Luna tells us what she did, so I don't need to headcanon it:
my mother. She was a quite extraordinary witch, you know, but she did like to experiment and one of her spells went rather badly wrong one day. I was nine
(OotP, 863)
So, Luna's mom, whose name is Pandora, experimented with spells. Specifically spells of her own making, one of which has gone badly and killed her.
So, what she did was create spells on her own the way we see Snape doing. We know spell creation is complicated and incredibly dangerous. Therefore, Luna is likely right in calling her mother extraordinary for creating spells. Most wizards would never bother, and the only ones we see inventing new magic are extraordinary wizards like Snape, Dumbledore, and Voldemort.
Now, this specific spell that killed Luna's mom was witnessed by Luna since she can see Thestrals. So my guess/headcanon is that it's a spell that wasn't supposed to go wrong.
Like, it was a spell she already worked on, a fun charm she wanted to show her 9-year-old daughter, one she succeeded in casting before. I believe this because it doesn't make sense for a mother to endanger their child by experimenting with spells with them in the room. So I believe she thought the spell was ready when she showed it to Luna â but something went wrong, and she ended up dead. I have no idea what the spell could've been, though.
All I know is that Luna says:
âYes, it was rather horrible,â said Luna conversationally.
(OotP, 863)
That'll likely be true regardless of what spell it was, but this line always gave me the impression that her death wasn't clean, like with the Killing curse, but rather more gruesome. Also, now that I'm reading this, combined with the fact Luna can see Thestrals, it seems she died instantly. There probably wasn't a period in a ward in St. Mongos, she just died the moment the spell failed.
Alternatively, It's possible a spell failed and then she had a period in St. Mongos until her death and that's when Luna saw her die, sitting by her bedside. That would mean the spell was still very experimental when it killed Pandora since she wasn't practicing it with Luna around. I like the first option better though.
For more general headcanons:
1. I usually place Pandora from a not famous or well-known magical family, like she's pure-blood but not sacred 28. Which one doesn't matter all that much.
2. She was in Ravenclaw like Xenophilius and Luna.
3. A few spells that we are familiar with from the books were invented by her (I don't have specific ones, but I like to think that at least one of them was invented by her).
4. I like to think Luna's mom was the artistic one (pretty canon since her father isn't implied to paint from what I remember). Like, we know Luna draws and makes jewelry and furniture herself, so basically I think her mom did too and that's who Luna got it from. I headcanon that before Luna was born she painted magical creatures (both real and imagined) on Luna's bedroom walls.
5. I think Xenophilius was less of a flat-earther before Pandora died. I mentioned here how I think he and Luna lost a lot of their faith in the ministry that hid something regarding Pandora's death or the ministry didn't sanction some of her spells for use post-mortemly. This distrust in the ministry pushed their opinions farther from the mainstream of the Wizarding World.
6. Harry describes Luna as more groomed in the photograph with her mother. As I mentioned, I think Xenophilius wasn't as absent-minded and unkept as we see him before Pandora's death, but Pandora was always the more preset and focused of the two of them. She probably often reminded him of things they scheduled that slipped his mind.
#hp#harry potter#asks#hp meta#hp headcanon#hollowedheadcanon#anonymous#luna lovegood#pandora lovegood
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i saw your post about percy and annabeth kiss in boo and how you think itâs ridiculous that people think percy and annabeth are better as friends. well guess what? iâm one of those people. i hate how the main male and female leads are always forced together and thatâs exactly what riordan did too. percy and annabeth would have been so much stronger if they had stayed this super amazing platonic friendship where everyone thinks they are going to date but they are like nah we just besties. and i think seeing that is a lot more powerful than just another badly written teenage romance. their chemistry feels forced and unauthentic, they obviously get annoyed with each other way too easily to be in a relationship, and they become dangerously co-dependent. and fine, maybe they would date for a few years since everyone would make them feel like thatâs what they are supposed to do. but then i think they would realize that they are better off as friends and donât actually have romantic attraction for each other. and thatâs exactly what i think would happen if the author was true to their characters and not just writing for himself. but honestly i think there is a solid chance that they are both asexual, which there is a TON of evidence of, and wouldnât even want to date in the first place. so sorry not sorry but percy and annabeth are definitely better as friends, and the people who donât get strangely obsessed and attached to a basic and forced romantic pairing can see all the evidence in the books as to why.
ok this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit. i have almost answered it in several different ways, one being just saying âthatâs an opinion!â but i think im just going to react to it honestly.
you have every right to believe whatever you want to believe. your imagination is your own. go crazy. or donât. but itâs your own opinion and you have every right to have it.
however, to openly claim that the author isnât staying true to their characters is not your right, because he is the one who invented them. they are his creations, so heâs actually the only one who knows exactly whatâs right for them. the characters are based off of him and his wife who he has been married to for many many years - who are still very much in love with each other to this day - so i think percy and annabeth are actually one of the most authentic romantic pairings of all time. i am sorry that you donât pick up on their naturally written chemistry and attraction for each other, because i think itâs a very important part of the story. itâs a very important part of their characters and their actions.
and you are absolutely right about one thing: they are best friends and love each other very much in a platonic way, and we DO see that a lot! itâs very clear that they are best friends first, and have that as a strong foundation. but they also have more there. they have strong romantic, and some implied sexual, feelings on top of it. and thatâs okay too. itâs possible to have both a strong friendship and a passionate romance. thatâs what makes them such an incredible pairing, in my opinion. they grow together. they start off as platonic friends and turn into young adults who are very much in love. itâs very natural, especially given everything they go through together.
so you can totally hc them as being just friends. thats okay! but i donât think itâs okay to call other people wrong or blind or âstrangely obsessed and attachedâ for believing in a romantic pairing that is very much supposed to be romantic.
thank you for the ask. have a nice day :)
#how did i do guys?#this one was hard#anon ask#answered ask#percabeth#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackson and the olympians#heroes of olympus
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F1 and independent content creation
Recently, especially on Tiktok, F1 content creators apparently got letters stating they have to change their branding, as in take âF1â out of their username and stop using exclusive F1TV content. There has been quite an uproar around this happening, with many fans not understanding why liberty media would forbid free marketing for them and complaining about it, so i would like to explain the choices made and how this influences content creation way less than most assume.
First of all, I have not seen the apparent letters myself, thus i can only guess what exactly it states, but as far as i see it, it only states that content creators have to keep copyrighted content, like the name or content out of their videos. It is not forbidden to continue to post anything, although I could see that changing with the current behavior of a few people.
A lot of people on tik tok claim that F1 content creators were the reason why they got interested in F1 and that itâs a shame Liberty media has used this for years but now that they got all the fans try to keep the independent content creators down. In itself this claim explains liberty medias choices; F1 content creators have gotten big, with thousands of followers to the point that they make money of F1 content, which is a whole legal affair in itself but iâll even skip that point (although iâd be very happy if someone that has more knowledge of the law would explain it closer). Liberty media cannot control what these accounts post, which sounds good in the first place, but can become really dangerous and annoying to F1 fast.
Let me give you an example; we are going to imagine a girl now, let's call her Katie (for legal reasons, this is not framing but an example. As of 18.08.2024, none of these accounts or people exist to my knowledge). Katie is a big F1 fan, so she decides to make a tik tok account called âF1UpToDateâ. She quickly gains thousands of followers by making videos about grand prixs, silly season, youâve all seen the videos. Well now Katie is not a saint, no one is, so she makes a video saying racist things. Said video gets millions of views and now liberty media has a problem; due to the account name, they are directly tied to anything problematic she posts or says and there are many people misunderstanding that Katie is independent from F1. It sounds outlandish, but currently, there are quite a few F1 content creators that are big enough to be confused with an official F1 account. Now liberty media has to put out press releases and talk about how they have nothing to do with the post,... Instead of waiting for the shoe to drop, they are currently preventing anything like this from happening, especially since no one can predict what bad things people could actually do.
Now Iâve seen quite a few people also confused, why not just employ F1 content creators? They are well loved by the fans and could attract more fans, but people underestimate how expensive that actually is. As far as I see it, there's only two ways that would work, and in both cases the content creators would lose the independence that makes their videos so fun. Either, they have to get every single video by PR managers of liberty media approved, which would mean less funny and spontaneous videos, or they would only be allowed to post by a script, which again, would make them dependent.Â
In the end, if we go back to our example, had the account been called âMotorsportsUpToDateâ, there would still be outrage if something bad was posted, but at least both the content creator would have been independent and liberty media not affected. People will still be able to find content creators and theyâll still be able to attract new fans, a new username wonât change that.
To be honest, I'm even surprised liberty media let them get away this long with getting money from their name. Again, I'm not well versed in law, but I am aware that money creates these situations too.
But like always, I'd like to know what other people think of this, if you agree or maybe know more about the law than I do in this case.
#f1 2024#f1#formula 1#liberty media#lewis hamilton#max verstappen#charles leclerc#lando norris#i'm just tagging drivers so people actually see this#fernando alonso#oscar piastri#carlos sainz#wheeltalk
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The faces of the Dark Presence
I have written a theory that explains the Bright Presence, obviously, there must be a theory about the Dark one. What do we know about its history, what happened to it after the Clicker âfilled its heart with light,â why Taken are so different across the games and what is going on in the second game. Again, I will address the Presences as âitâ as well as âshe/heâ when it suits my needs, obviously, both of them are âitâ, for there is no indication that the gender for them is a thing.
Letâs begin from the short introduction to the Dark Presenceâs origin and nature. For those who are familiar with the Bright Presence theory, yes, the first part will be similar, since the whole argument was built on the Dark Presenceâs dialog in the first place, but with a lot of changes.
Obviously, we have no knowledge about the origin of the Presences and the Dark Place itself, except for it all being in Ahtiâs bucket, but we at least have some information to help us understand their nature and what actually hides beneath the waves of Cauldron Lake.
Randolph, the trailer park manager has this to say about it:
âThe Indians thought the lake was a doorway to the underworld.â
Alan in the notes of his poem from Samanthaâs shoebox, expands on this from his insider perspective:
"E can't see it. He's view is too narrow, limited. It's not a lake, it's an ocean, darkness before the act of creation, before the Big Bang, darkness upon the face of the deep, upon the face of the waters, before light, before the primeval atom, before the word, before THE POEM. I can be a creator, the creator. It has happened before, and it will happen again, many times."
The Dark Place and its entities are old, tremendously old. The Dark Presence spells it for us in the final confrontation in the first game:
âIâm much older than you. Older than your first work of art.â
Sheâs talking to Alan, of course, but it is pointless to compare this entity with him, heâs 31-33 (depends on what you ask: the guide that puts his age at 31 in 2010, or the memorial statue, that has his year of birth as 1977), and the Dark Presence was kicking long before his birth, as we know from Thomasâ story and the beliefs of the locals. Sheâs talking about humanity, about our first primitive work of art. Which puts her at least at around 50 thousand years old, plus this vague âmuch older than youâ, which will put her at an even greater age, depending on what she means by that â where her definition of âyouâ starts. I mean, we talking hundreds of thousands of years now or even millions; what is evolution for her, really? She finishes with a promise to find someone else to dream her free, so her definition of humanity might do something with the first glimpse of imagination. And that is hardly something that we can establish properly. The Dark Presence mightâve been âbornâ with the Dark Place, or mightâve been âcreatedâ later.
So, what are the Presences? This House of Dreams gives the explanation about the Dark Place as well as its inhabitants:
In the end, he finally understood what he had to do, finally understood the true nature of the dark place that was hidden under the waves of the lake where they lived. The lake was an opening to dark place that was much bigger than the lake itself, in fact, much bigger than the whole universe we live in. He wrote one last poem, his masterpiece, a secret poem, a hidden poem, a poem thatâs not among the poems Iâve found in the shoebox. And he took his girlfriend for one last dive. Together they sank down into the depths, far deeper than he had ever dived before. In the dream, I was there, diving with them. And from the depths, something, or some things, surged up to meet them. Things of darkness, but bright things of light as well. The diver explained that these things, or these presences, were forever fighting a war between the forces of light and darkness. A dark presence had taken over his girlfriend, and a bright presence now came to take over him. And he surrendered his body to it, but at the same time, the essence of who he was kept diving deeper, ever deeper, holding the essence of his girlfriend (their spirits? their souls?). The diver (or what was left of him, his true self) spoke the words of his secret poem. The poem described a new world, an island in this sea of darkness, a safe haven, a paradise, a âbabyâ universe. The nature of the dark place was such that anything dreamed up there, any dream or a work of art, would come true, just as true as anything in our world can be. And the poem came true and the essence of the diver and the essence of his girlfriend escaped from the darkness and disappeared into this new world to live there happily ever after; while their shapes, his now taken over by a bright presence, as his girlfriendâs had been taken over by a dark presence, surged up, through the opening in the lake to our world, to continue their battle there.Â
From this, aside from whatâs spelled there, we can also take two important things: the Dark Presence might be the âevils of the worldâ, but the Dark Place is not â it is a home for the bright things of light as well and can create new universes for the sole purpose of someone living there happily, itâs impartial in its nature and grants wishes good and bad; and the Dark Presence is not the only dark creature living there, not even necessarily the biggest one of them.
Letâs expand on this a bit more, so we are on the same page. The Dark Place is, indeed, impartial and not good or evil by its nature, yet itâs not suited for humans:
We are built differently from all other habitants; maybe, we are more complex? Not ideas, but the whole package of ideas we have and create, rights and wrongs, emotions and perceptions, thatâs why humans can dream anything in the Dark Place and the Dark Place will deliver. Different characters, who ended up in the Dark Place, show different ways humans can exist there: some make rules and hoops for themselves; some excitedly explore and observe; some just exist there, making maps and humming songs; some ascend and manage to make the Dark Place do their bidding to mislead and help someone else in ascension.
And the creatures there are not limited to the two Presences and their minions.
It even has a fauna! I know itâs irrelevant, but curious nonetheless:
Mr. Scratch also talks about the populace of the Dark Place and their goals (from his side, of course):
âAnd thereâs so much darkness out there. It goes deep, and the thing that live in it are vast. Big bastards! They donât mind getting a little bit of elbow room. All that chaos and madness, it doesnât really do that much down there. Itâs like pouring a glass of water into the ocean, right? But up here⊠Yeah, you can really make an impact. All they need is someone to bring them all the way though.â
Alan through Zaneâs notes in the cabin expands on it further:
âAnything outside of writing is a struggle. I feel ill. I managed to make my way downstairs. Thereâs a shoebox filled with books and papers by Thomas Zane. Itâs very hard to focus but I managed to read some of it. Heâs a poet and a good one. He writes of muses and creators, summoning fabulous things from a magic lake, using its power to shape the world, of a realm of gods and dreams, and demons, dark things that wait for a chance to slip through, wearing the flesh of men as disguise. Zane writes about himself, his girlfriend being taken over by a Dark Presence, about growing scared of the lake. Zane believes itâs a mirror to the gaping void of darkness above, where some Lovecraftian presence lurks. I crawled back upstairs. Iâll borrow these things for my story. They ring true. They fit.â
Alright, as I believe, the shoebox trick was added into Zaneâs story by Alan, and also the whole âwriting Thomas and Barbara out of realityâ was him as well, but it doesnât mean that all the contents were written by Alan; after all, in This House of Dreams we have two sets of poems â one by Thomas and another by Alan. It also fits into the Bright Presenceâs story he showed Samantha, his own words in-game and what Mr. Scratch tells us about the Dark Place. So, I will count this information as the truth Alan borrowed, not as something borrowed becoming the truth. Although, itâs really exhausting â separating what Alan wrote into reality and what was the reality before Alan started to tinker with it.
Now we have a bit of an understanding of what the Presences are, where did they come from and what do they want. Letâs summarise: they are fighting an eternal war of light versus dark in the enormous, if not infinite, realm that has an opening into our world through Caldron Lake (among other places). They are insanely old and are not against taking humans faces to surge up. They are also drawn to our world, might be because of humanâs ability to create something from nothing with just dreams or works of art; but most likely because the Dark Place is seen as a prison by them (the latter is also hinted at in the Dark Presenceâs promise to find some who will dream her free; and in the Bright Presenceâs acknowledgement, that he wasnât able to find a way to leave the Dark Place for good; Mr. Scratchâs words about bringing âthe big bastardsâ up here to make an impact). Although, the darkness and its minions are much more proactive when it comes to âfind someone to dream them freeâ, as we see with the Dark Presence, Thomasâ story and Mr. Scratch. When both Presences in the bodies of Thomas and Barbara got out of the lake someone or something did put them back; the boys of OGoA (just a wild guess, there is only one thing that can tie them up to events of 1970 â the name of their first album, according to the now-dead site, was âThe Memory of the Slaughterâ and the release date is 1971)? The whole âwe have bodies now, hell yeahâ thing ended as they exhausted the freeing power of having flesh, but had no art, no story to sustain them being out of the Dark Place? Maybe this freeing power was exhausted in their clashing with no winner and they both retreated back. However it happened, back into the lake they went.
After that the story of the Dark Presence is pretty eventful:
We have her fighting with the boys of OGoA in 1976 and 1978, and them also keeping her always near. As Odin and Tor tell us:
âSheâs been using you, boy. And you let her. You went and opened the door for her, didnât you?â âNow now, it was already open a crack. And whose fault is that? Weâre morally corrupt, disease-ridden, old, and stupid.â âDoesnât mean he had to open it all the way, goddammit!â âAhh, pfah.â âSo tired...built the farm close to the lake. A place of power.â âWe had parties there, man. You...you should go there and have a party.â
And, taking Cynthiaâs words, we can assume, they werenât the only ones:
âI have been preparing for these times. The dark tides. You have found my caches, havenât you? You can see the signs? Very few people can. [âŠ] We have both been touched by the darkness, young man. He saved us both with light. But the darkness stays with you, leaves a stain.â
This is an excerpt from The Alan Wake Files, from the âBright Falls: A Historyâ book:
âIt is unknown whether these strange lights are related to the more recent rumors of illuminated messages found in the nooks and crannies around Bright Falls. None have ever been photographed, but multiple reports from disparate sources certainly point to a trend. Local law enforcement seemed less enthusiastic about these reports. âWeâve never caught anybody at it,â said our same anonymous source, âbut you can bet that if we do, weâll give these kids a little talking to. Weâve got our eye out for any kind of mischief.â A survey of local teens produced blanket denials of vandalism, along with several shaky reports of sightings. âThere were messages,â said one young woman. âI havenât seen them myself, but my boyfriendâs cousin did and so has one of my sisterâs friends. All different messages, too. Strange things, like, âWalk in Lightâ and these odd symbols and arrows. Stuff like that.â Despite the lack of photographic evidence, a few artistsâ renderings of the strange messages have been recreated with the assistance of the alleged witnesses. A common thread that gives the story some credibility is that all witnesses have described the symbol of a torch alongside the bizarre messages.â
And the illustration for this bit is this:
So, there were more people touched by darkness to have the ability to see Cynthiaâs magic paint. Which is to be expected, as I noted, the Dark Presence is very proactive when it comes to interacting with humans.
Now, in the second game we have a peculiar detail: the newspapers from 2010, reporting on the âChaos at Cauldron Lakeâ dated 18th July:
It might be nothing, but it strangely matches how the Dark Presence was using Taken before Thomas wrote Barbara back. And the Bright Falls mini-series, where the protagonist, Jake, is becoming Taken in the few days he spends in the town. So, the question here: how comes we have this manuscript?
Loops, of course! The way the Dark Presence is in the first game is the result of Alan writing and rewriting reality to make the story into what we see: he doesnât arrive by car at night in the driver seat, with Alice as a passenger, as it was in the Bright Falls mini-series, and there are no Taken, because he retroactively wrote the Dark Presence being asleep before he showed up. This way he can weaken her and give himself a fighting chance.
Now letâs take a look at the event of the first game. In the âmissingâ week the Dark Presence is being the editor for Alan, making him write her free, using Alice as bait. But as much as Alan claims:
âBut it seems I have an imaginary editor to help me. Sheâs an old woman in a funeral dress. I call her Barbara Jagger. Sheâs very strict. Iâm writing faster and faster. My manuscript is being heavily revised. The edits are getting very aggressive and each day thereâs less of me and more of her.â
She doesnât notice when Alan starts to write himself into the story or summoning the Bright Presence to set him free. The Dark Presence doesnât have the same intelligence as we do, doesnât have much imagination, thinks differently. Her power grows in the story? Good. Writer does something else? No matter, her power grows in the story anyway. Sheâs tunnel-visioning her freedom or doesnât understand where the creative process necessities end and Alanâs plotting starts. The Dark Presence even allows him to write manuscripts about her weaknesses and set-backs.
But letâs be fair, for the Dark Presence Alan might be the first to pull this off. We know only about how Thomas and the boys fought her and itâs nothing like with Alan, whom she held hostage. Her experience with humans and this kind of trickery can be very limited; and knowledge is power.
For the rest of the game sheâs bound by the story and acts true to herself, but always loses. Because it was written. The Dark Presence is controlled by the power of the Dark Place that makes Alanâs writing into reality. Basically, sheâs controlled by Alan.
At the end, when Alan jumps into the lake there is a brief moment, I believe, that was not necessarily written, but controlled by the dreaming and the power of the Clicker. In the New York flat and when the Bright Presence gave instruction of âfill its heart with lightâ, as well as the appearance of Mr. Scratch. The last one is a wild card; I canât say for sure if heâs the Barbaraâs Dark Presenceâs minion or an agent of another dark being. He might as well be the Barbaraâs Dark Presenceâs yet another desperate attempt to stop Alan, and what we learn about him in AWAN is written by Alan himself, because, in fact, he has no idea of Mr. Scratchâs goals, but needs the grandiose one to make him the herald of darkness. And what herald of darkness heâd make if he wouldnât be set on bringing the darkness into the world and just, you know, chill, killing right and left to his own enjoyment and harass Alan in the Dark Place?
But I digress. Returning to the ending of the game: judging by the text we need to burn with light, Alan is projecting himself to find the cabin, while he already is in the cabin, writing this journey. Ideas swirling around: phones, birds, shopping cards, but also dark ideas of Alice leaving him or them becoming like Barbara and Thomas. Alan pushes forward and there she stands: the Dark Presence, trapped in her own place of power, unable to even run or put up a fight. She says her last words:
âNow you will never get her back. Iâm much older that you. Older than your first work of art. I will find a new face to wear. Someone else to dream me free.â
Then lets Alan insert the Clicker into her chest and just dies.
Well, âdiesâ is a very strong word for what happened; the Dark Presence as we knew her in the first game is no more, but the power and lingering goals, the essence of the entity, if you will, remain â in Alan. There are many clues. In The Signal DLCâs TV Alan says:
âThe darkness wasnât so bad. It was in him. he felt it. He knew the voice spoke the truth.â
And when we destroy his TVs with light, he screams âit burns!â and then, at the very end â âtoo loud. Too loud! I canât think! Itâs in my brain!â In The Writer DLC Alan-in-the-cabin keeps acting as the Dark Presence: sending Taken after his rational part, making Darknados and all those lovely things that launch themselves at you. The argument might be made that Alan just uses what he remembers, and it would be more plausible at the time of the DLCs. But, luckily, we have the second game.
But before we talk about it, we need to bring AW1 and AWAN together, because there we have two entities from the Dark Place, who have at least some agency in the constrains of the story, and their MO has similarities. The Taken are, maybe varying with Mr. Scratchâs creations being much more diverse, but have common things: they are shielded with darkness all over and, when killed, they dissipate in bright sparks. In AWAN we also have different, improved birds, the spiders are mostly not directly controlled by Mr. Scratch himself and good old poltergeists.
We have none of that in the second game. The rules are completely changed and Alanâs face is the face of the Dark Presence, that heâs calling (Iâm sure in the loving memory) âScratchâ. Scratch in the second game is not Mr. Scratch from AWAN, they are not the same entity; aside from the obvious differences in their behaviour and demeanour, there is this little thing â Mr. Scratch, sadly, is utterly unalive, dead. Heâs no more. So, the Dark Presence is a part of Alan; just like it was in the DLCs for the first game. Scratch is what remained of the Barbaraâs Dark Presence, shaped by Alanâs mind â the result of Alan merging with the sheer force of the Dark Presence. His true dark half.
Scratch in the second game creates different Taken, who are not shielded by darkness all over; there are no birds or spiders, but there are wolfs; the poltergeists are abandoned for the walls of darkness with a suggestive âcoreâ, where you need to burn it. And heâs kinda in love with the colour red â taking ideas from Hiss much? The difference in what we face in the first games and the second is stunning.
We also have a brilliant opportunity to look into the mind of the Taken: with Nightingaleâs segment and with manuscript pages. In the first game we have a few pages that describe how people were becoming Taken; for all of them it was a horrible experience, for those, touched by darkness as well: we see that Rose is screaming inside in terror as she does what the Barbaraâs Dark Presence told her to, same as Serena Valdivia in AWAN â while she flirts with Mr. Scratch, sheâs screaming deep inside in horror. The last one of the Taken of, letâs say, first generation, that we see is Nightingale. First, he says that heâs lost and itâs dark, he needs someone to show him something. Then, as we walk him towards the Bookers, he says âplease⊠can you hear me?â and then slowly the voices start to appear. After the first Scratchâs jumpscare, he sobs and starts to hear his own taken-voicelines. What do the Bookers tell about that encounter? âHe was acting crazy, shouting weird shit at usâ, thinking that he must have been on something. We never hear him shouting, because we are inside of his head, where heâs lost, confused and terrified, the shouts come from the outside, quiet and disturbing, he only breathes in distress. He even sees the Cult of the Tree as the Taken, when in fact, heâs the one with distorted voice and, probably, covered in shadows, not the cultists. For all we know, the Taken of the first generation were not aware of their own actions and suffering inside. What about the ones, that are taken by Scratch? We have few examples, but all of them are quite different from the first games: for Emmett Elwood it is a satisfying experience, for Gail Borrows, even if he knew he was dying, it felt good, he worshiped the darkness and even made a sacrifice to it in blood, Anna was overcame by vertigo, Thornton and Mulligan gave in to their guilt. Cynthia is the only person, whose corruption was violent, but after that?
âCynthia Weaver smiled. Lost without her lantern? Nonsense. Cynthia felt giddy as a young girl in love. [âŠ] She sank into dark water. Into Tom.â
Some of these were edited by Alan, but some â not. Constrained by the story or not, Scratch tends to make Taken differently; even when he rails them up for the fight, they are filled with violent glee. It goes very well with what we see after he makes his story come true.
Letâs talk about what exactly happens when Scratch gets his hands on the Clicker. Bright Falls welcomes Alan with the Deerfest, sunny and happy day, revolving around the âReturnâ and how good it is. The Dark Presence in the first game wanted to take over the world, too, but, boy, she would probably cringe so hard she wanted twisted and evil things, as Mr. Scratch said about other dark presences, not this eternal celebration of Alan Wake! Even Alan is in awe, claiming this is not what he expected.
But, really, he is so clueless. He treats Scratch as the Barbaraâs Dark Presence, but they are different to the core. The Barbaraâs Dark Presence was in possession of a body with no soul, the shell of Barbara Jagger, taking from her only this much; Scratch is not only sharing the body with Alan, who is very present and aware (at times), but is entangled with his very being. The Barbaraâs Dark Presence had agency and her own goals; Scratch, still being the Dark Presence, has an echo of that, but twisted by Alan, fed on his insecurities, fears and desires. And, most importantly, the Barbaraâs Dark Presence needed someone to dream her free; Scratch, being so tightly connected with Alan, can dream himself free just fine: he wrote the first draft of Return after all. And the rules for changing reality are pretty clear:
Scratch is capable of performing a genuine act of creation; something, that was not available to the Barbaraâs Dark Presence. âWhile the god is asleep, the devil rewrites realityâ â one of the echoes, that describes exactly what happens with Alan and Scratch in the Dark Place. If Alan is not in the driverâs seat, Scratch takes over, benefiting from this tight connection greatly.
With all this said, Scratch is still the Dark Presence: he has all the powers of the Dark Presence, hunts Alan, can possess other people, create Taken, send Taken from the lake to retrieve the Clicker, turn into a mini Darknado, and wants to take over the world. But heâs sort of the next evolution: the essence of the entity, entirely alien to us, learnt humanity in its own twisted way. Alan notices that Scratch has an insecure need for fame and praise and questions if it was drawn from his own psyche. And it was. More so, the clinginess is from him as well: as Alan is lost without Alice, Scratch is lost without Alan. His lines during the chase in the Wellness Center are that of a puppy:
You are home! We should be one! We belong together! Welcome me back home! We can have this! Happy ending! We are the heart! We are one! Our story! Our ending! Our book! We made this! Everyone loves us! We won! Everything revolves around us! Fame! Worship! Alice!
And in the writerâs room Scratch is gladly jumping into Alanâs head at the first invitation âcome homeâ (welcome me back home).
In the end, the Dark Presence, actually fulfilled its promise: it found a new face to âwearâ and someone to dream it free. Only not someone âelseâ, it was freed from the Dark Place by Alan, yet the freedom came with a cost. I will not dive into the ending of the Final Draft here, but I believe the Dark Presence is still inside Alan, itâs just balanced with the light (or the Bright Presence, hmm?). Itâs not a demon anymore, not an entity, Alan puts all the blame for any wrongs â his or not his â onto, itâs an essence, a power, a shadowy flicker in the corner of an eye, not real enough to properly exist, but accepted and merged with Alan too much to fade away completely. Back to the beginning, to the manuscript from 2010.
In the end, it's never just the light you need When balance slays the demon, you'll find peace In the end, it's never just the dark you seek When balance slays the demon, you'll find peace
#alan wake#alan wake 2#alan wake game#alan wake ii#alan wake remastered#rcu theory#remedy connected universe#remedy entertainment#remedy games#the dark presence#the bright presence#barbara jagger#mr scratch#mr. scratch#scratch#alan wake's american nightmare#awan
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