#You can do whatever you want forever etc etc.

[the-cats-noodles]

Everytime I see this, everytime, someone brings up marriage as an exception and I can't help but think, really?

I get it, promises are important (to death do us part, which is in and of itself an unrealistic standard but whatever i dont have time to talk abt that) but I feel like people forget that marriage for love is relatively recent? The point of marriage being to join households and pass on property is much older (and the origin of the whole "only death can make us separate" bc property and inheritance) like, the reason people stayed together was bc of duty not love and that was a very different environment than the one now (which is good) but it still means we're talking about a standard that is unrealistic in our current environment (not to mention the insane amount of murder over not being able to get divorced in the past, like it's a very good thing we can end marriages now)

There's nothing wrong with marrying someone and wanting to stay with them forever (we chose to do this for love and that was good actually), but can we stop pretending this idea is universal?

Making a promise is all well and good, but people change and their promises do too.

Like, yes you keep growing as you get older and yes you might grow closer with your partner (and that's perfectly normal and okay) BUT you might also grow apart and that is ALSO PERFECTLY OKAY

Saying that marriage is something to exclude from the idea of decentering permanence is kinda ignoring all the people who really shouldn't be staying together but "have" to (for the kids, reputation, etc) and anybody involved definitely feels that dynamic shift...

Just, yeah "keep your promises" but also know that breaking them is a part of life and its much better for both parties if you break a promise instead of wither away trying to uphold it for some perceived sense of duty or obligation to people whose opinions literally DO NOT matter

(If you wanna be with one person forever? great! If they don't agree bc they don't love you anymore? Oh well, tough luck, I guarantee you'll be better off letting them go then forcing them to stay in a legal contract, which is what marriage becomes when you don't feel love for the other party anymore)

Also I get most people don't want to force someone to stay in a situation that makes them miserable, at least I really hope they don't, but when (as a society) we place more importance on the whole 'till death do us part' bit and less on the 'I love you and want to show it' (or even say the only way to show it is to hold onto that person forever) then it kinda forces people into this idea of "having" to stay

And look, counseling is great, it can work wonders, but it is NOT a miracle worker. It can't fix everything and it doesn't have to bc A LOT of marriages aren't broken they're just fizzling out

Am I making any sense? Who knows, but I was raised in a community where ending a marriage or relationship was worse than cheating bc "marriages are work"

They are, but you also retire from work when it becomes a strain and you can't do it anymore. You can quit a job if it doesn't fit. I'm not saying marriage is a job, but I am saying that if we expect marriage to involve work we can expect it to reach the point where people just DONT WANT TO DO THAT ANYMORE and that's okay

I'm begging: please stop insisting marriage is different from other relationships in this regard bc it isn't. It's sweet and a wonderful experience but it's still just a love between two people and we can't expect that to be magically enough to stop the natural progression all relationships go through.

You lose friends over time but some stay around. You lose family over time (like, no contact in this case not necessarily through death) but some stay around. You lose lovers and partners over time but some stay around. And that's okay, u just don't see how the last one is somehow expected to have more weight.

(Which I believe was op's point? That they're all temporary and that's a good thing actually)

Like everything is temporary, it's just sometimes that temporary lines up with our lives bc we ourselves are temporary beings, and it's okay if it does and it's okay if it doesn't.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[magnuspanoptes]

all elias raises jon fics are doing a happy little nuclear family thing with peter. well you can write whatever you want forever etc but he would nottt do that. if he ever met jon at a formative age he would be doing some abigail hobbs shit to him. you know the kind of codependent bond where he makes teen jon entirely reliant on him for security and advise alongside the predatory paternal affection. now i don't think he would personally want to adopt a child, he's a busy man he doesn't have time for all that. unless grandma sims is already dead. B plot involves gertrude coming up with at least three different contingency plans to get jon killed before his eighteenth birthday. would she really do that—yeah she would kill the kid if it meant saving the world. do you know her. she's not aunt material she made jon cry in the institute lobby the first day elias brought him to work.

[ihavedonenothingright]

The more I see people trying to argue that the Zonai are actually the original founders of Hyrule, the more I wish TOTK never existed. Or the "oh the other games (especially OOT) are just false retellings of the "original history" which was Zonai." I genuinely can't imagine being so damn invested in the underdeveloped goat people you would rather retroactively turn your other game experiences into lies.

[faunandfloraas]

[sainteclectic]

+ personally I don't care for cjshipping discourse? if your hms are brothers that's one thing, but i feel like the "chonny would feel weird if they kissed" argument kind of positions romantic relationships as uniquely More than other dynamics. it places romance on the top of the hierarchy as something that would be inherently deeper and thus more wrong than them being like... friends who cuddle?

what's the difference? none of my posts are "shipping" in a romantic sense, but why does the word "ship" have to exclusively refer to romantic relationships at all? a qpr is still a relationship. friendship is a relationship between people. undefined relationships are, obviously, a relationship. so why can't those be shipping too?

if you see them as family or are just personally uncomfortable with their relationships being romantic, that's fine! I don't see them as dating either! cultivate your online experience as much as you like, genuinely. but romance isn't above or more intense than other types of relationships. y'know?

[iowiymiw]

silverflint in a way is very thoroughbreds coded. sometimes you meet somebody who seems so wildly independent with so little regards to the consequences of their viewpoints vested in self-interest and you are fascinated by them just as much as they scare you and eventually you think you surpass them but really they just grew to care about about you on such a deep level they let themselves lose just to make you happy

[handweavers]

i'm very used to posting & sharing my textile work and feeling confident and secure in it but i get so nervous at the thought of sharing my drawing and painting work bc it's not nearly as technically skilled and professional looking but i need to beat the gremlin in my head telling me i can't share something i've done unless it meets that standard with a spiked bat

[water-mellie-seeds]

Hornets neat time then i shut off my phone and nap

Really dont love how people in the fandom are infantilizing pomni more since ep 3. She. Explicitly stated in ep 2 she doesnt like that!!! I cant be the only one who thinks its.... Weird to do that. To a full grown woman who's depressed discomfort about being treated like a kid

Like it obviously doesn't actually matter, its fiction but..... it's making me raise my brow

[greyedian]

oh my god I was thinking about a jayvik fallout new vegas AU and was like "hm maybe Viktor uploads himself into one of those robots until he can get a different body by like repurposing power armor or something idk" and then I remembered that this guy's name actually is Victor

[bmpmp3]

so often i'll get that sudden and wonderful urge to make comics and stories of my OCs that I can actually show people but then just as quickly that urge is dashed by various foolish reasons, and one of the most foolish of those reasons is i get. scared. about committing to stylistic choices in a webcomic or illustration

WHICH is foolish BECAUSE

you can just. change them

really gotta stop thinking about branding and shit. some people are good with that but it always just paralyzes me LOL especially because when i think about all the comics and fiction and all that i like you can see signs of stylistic choices and characterizations shifting from the original vision at the start to how it ended up because things EVOLVE that is a Normal Aspect of storytelling IT TRULY is a foolish thing to get scared by orz

[dyingtobehim]

and whats with everything being about dogs now i like dogs and all but you guys know there are other animals you can compare yourself to right

[stunfiskz]

does anyone know where/if i land on the whole “romance averse -> indifferent -> favorable” thing if i really enjoy fictional romance but any real person being involved, not just me, makes me feel uncomfortable. like is that a thing or is that just me being miserable

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

[bidolatry]

i do not think irony is the right word however it is a bit funny silly haha that i am textings #1 hater forever <- wont ask people to talk on the phone

[brisquad-unit-4402]

thanks for the ike kissing shitpost fic it gave me a nice laugh with all the current stuff happening. always good to see more from you regardless of it's more serious writing or just fun and silly stuff i just love seeing you pop up on my dash 💛

i said this earlier in tags and i'm gonna say it louder: your work is only as serious as you take it!!! and so is everything else in this bitch of an earth!

i like to laugh and be happy. and the idea of a poor unsuspecting quilldren reading 1k of steamy ike and then getting suckerpunched with sonic high school would REALLY make me laugh and be happy

in a more serious note i've mourned what i needed to mourn and i'm genuinely happy for progress, so i don't see the point in holding back. vtubers come and go but the enjoyment stays, and if there's anything i've learned over the last almost-two-years of this fandom it's to enjoy every moment. just 'cause it's been a rough time doesn't mean everything has to be just as rough, it's the little moments of fun that makes them manageable. soooooooo. gay balls

it's what he would've wanted

[greyedian]

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