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so-writing · 4 years ago

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The Head Tolerates What The Heart Wants - Nolan Patrick (5)

Summary: You and Nolan broke up a few months ago and you’re both conflicted. Chaos ensues.

One. Two. Three. Four.

“Can you stop fucking moping and just call her?”

Nolan heard him clearly but what TK said was annoying and he wasn’t able to shake the thought of you getting down with Mathew Barzal. It pissed him off more than it should but he was too upset to understand how irrational he was being.

“No. She’s probably with Barzal anyway.”

“Patty,” Travis rolled his eyes, “shut up. She isn’t with him.”

“Sure she is. He’s,” Nolan formed air quotes with his fingers, “wonderful, fucking amazing actually.”

Travis tried to hide how funny he found that, but his lips betrayed him as they quirked up into a smile. He knew your words hit Nolan but he’d be lying if he didn’t think a small part of him kind of deserved it. He’d never say it to Nolan but you weren’t the one in the wrong in this situation.

“Patty, I know for a fact she’s not with him. Call her. Don’t be a fucking idiot.”

“Why should I give her the time of day when she’s fucking other players?”

That question had Travis laughing out loud. When Nolan didn’t laugh along with him, he straightened up and looked his best friend directly in the eye before rolling his own into the back of his head.

“Didn’t you cheat on her? Why are you so fucking pressed?”

Nolan snorted and pulled his beanie from his head, running a hand through his hair, before replacing it.

“Yeah, I don’t know.”

“Well,” Travis started, “you need to do something. Call her, text her, write her a fucking letter, but do fucking something man.”

You casually exchanged texts with Mat, not quite willing to let go of him despite knowing that nothing serious would happen because you were too caught up in Nolan fucking Patrick and hating every second of it.

Pouring yourself a glass of wine, you turned on Netflix and decided to take a deep dive into The Office for probably the hundredth time. You put your phone on silent as you watched the slow burn relationship between Jim and Pam play out. You’d seen the episodes enough times to not get completely invested and your phone kept lighting up on the cushion beside you, so you gave in and checked your messages.

Hey from Nolan.

I’m sorry from Nolan.

You’re watching the fucking office again aren’t you from Mat.

Fool, don’t ignore me, I know better from Mat.

Of course I’m watching the office, you ignorant slut to Mat.

You’re going to kill yourself pretending to kill yourself! from Mat.

You chuckled at the conversation you were having with Mat and quickly fired off the next message.

Prove it, let’s see your penis!

It was a rather cheeky text but Mat would definitely get the joke. The problem was that you hadn’t sent the text to Mat. You sent it to Nolan.

What the fuck?

Nolan paced the room as he considered your response. He said he was sorry and you asked him to prove it, and show you his penis and that made no fucking sense at all. He was sure that a dick pic was the last thing you wanted from him but Travis was right. He needed to do something, and while this wasn’t the way he planned to reach out, he made a quick decision to just go for it.

“Fuck,” Nolan sighed in defeat, “whatever.”

He lifted his hips up from the couch he was positioned on, sliding his joggers down and stroking himself a few times before snapping a photo and making complete sure it went to you and only you.

Here you go he captioned the photo.

A part of him felt very awkward about sending a NSFW photo to you, but he was mostly exhilarated by his bold move and anxious over how you would respond to it.

The amount of wine you drank was starting to get to your head, making you feel lighter and more giggly. You phone had been going off for a few minutes but you were too intoxicated to care.

It wasn’t until you started to get annoyed by the constant vibration that you reluctantly answered, not bothering to check who was calling.

“Hey, listen, about that text message-”

Nolan. He didn’t even bother with a greeting, opting instead to jump straight into conversation.

“Sorry, what message,” you cut him off, confused and a little irritated by him for interrupting your evening.

You heard him speaking as you pulled your phone away from your ear and checked your messages.

Holy shit.

You’d seen his dick countless times but this was different. Uh, what? If an unsolicited photo of his penis wasn’t enough to sober you up even a little bit, nothing else would be.

“What the hell, Nolan?! What the fuck are you doing sending me that shit? I don’t want a picture of your dick!”

“You told me to send you one,” his voice was shrill and panicked, “you said to prove I was sorry by sending you a picture of my dick!”

“Wait, what? No I didn’t.”

You pulled your phone away from your face once again and scrolled through texts, quickly realizing the that cheeky Office quote you’d meant to send to Mat had accidentally gone to Nolan. A wave of guilt washed over you as you pushed the phone back against your ear.

“That wasn’t meant for you, fuck, I’m so sorry, Nolan.”

“What?”

“I didn’t mean to send you that text. It was for someone else.”

Someone else. The words cut him like a hot knife easily splitting butter. He was pretty sure he knew who the text was meant for, but it took a few seconds of silence on his end before he could say it out loud.

“Barzal,” he mumbled, “you wanted a photo from Barzal."

“Yes, well no, no, it isn’t what you think. I fucking swear it isn’t what you think.”

A wave of panic crept up your back as you tried to explain your way out of this one. You didn’t want Nolan to think you wanted to see anyone else’s anything. That was the complete opposite of what you wanted.

“That’s a pretty bold thing to say. I can’t imagine how someone could interpret it other than literally.”

“Nols,” he hated how soft your voice was when you said that, “it’s from The Office. It really is nothing.”

“Eleven seasons of that stupid show and all you can come up with is suggestive talk? Sure.”

“It’s only nine seasons,” you quietly corrected him, “but I get it. It comes off as incredibly suggestive if you’re not me or Mat.”

He sighed heavily into the phone, not willing to say anything until the quiet became almost unbearable. It was maybe 45 seconds, but it felt like hours.

“I don’t want you to be with him, fuck, I know that’s so selfish but I can’t help it.”

“I’m not with him,” you assured, “I’m really not. We’re friends and that is all.”

“You had sex with him though, that isn’t a thing friends do.”

Your heart was pounding seemingly out of your chest as you shoved the phone into your ear, eating up everything Nolan said because, in your opinion, it sounded like he still felt something for you.

“Do you regret it?”

You should have lied. You should have told him a small fib in an attempt to help the two of you try and fix this burning, broken that that lay at your feet.

“No.”

“Really? Not at all?”

“No, Nolan, not at all.”

“Did you do it just to hurt me?”

It was another chance to lie and work your way up with Nolan. You weren’t a liar though, that wasn’t a path you ever planned to take, especially being with someone so public.

You assumed your truths would open him up more and make it easier for the two of you to communicate.

“No.”

No, on all accounts. Nolan sighed heavily before ending the call without another word and you felt like you could fall into a black hole and disappear forever, that punishment felt worthy of how badly you fucked everything up.

#Nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #mat barzal fic #travis konency fic

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myveryownfanfiction · 4 years ago

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Chapter 1

I walked into the office the next day and settled into my seat at the desk. Robert walked in and smiled at me as he passed me. Smiling back, I started to get to work. Before I could get started, the camera crew grabbed me for a one on one interview in the annex.

“What do I think of Robert California?” I repeated the producer's question for the video. I thought for a second before smiling. “I think it takes a little while to get used to him. I think that he’s actually really nice and even though he could be a little crass, once you get past it he’s a really nice person who knows a lot about sales and managing.”

“So you got to know him last night?” The producer asked, smiling since they knew they had footage of us leaving the building late.

“Yeah. I got to know him a bit last night.” I laughed. A commotion in the office made me get up and head back out. Kevin was planking on Dwight’s desk and Dwight had enlisted Darryl and Jim in trying to move him. “Guys! Guys! Guys!” I called as I ran out. “You’re gonna hurt yourselves. Chill. Let me handle this.” I walked over to my side of the desk and crawled under. I popped up in the middle and leaned down. “Hey Kev? If you stop planking and get off Dwight’s desk I’ll bring in that chocolate cake you love tomorrow.” Kevin didn’t move and I stood back up. “Ok Kev. No cake for you tomorrow.” I squared my stance and braced my back leg against my desk. “Last chance Kev.” I put one hand on Kevin’s shoulder and one on his hip. I smiled up at the guys that had been trying to lift him as I gave one big shove and Kevin rolled off of the desk. The guys jumped back as Kevin landed with a thud on the floor. Everyone looked up and Robert came out of the conference room to see what had happened. Andy entered the office at that moment.

“What’s going on?” He asked as he took in the scene that was playing out.

“Kevin was planking on my desk.” Dwight said. “(Y/N) solved the problem.” I mock bowed before going back under my desk and popping back up on the other side. Robert was laughing as he went back into the conference room and Andy waved Dwight into his office. I went back to the annex to finish up my interview.

“So yeah. He’s not that bad a guy. He works out of the conference room about half the time. When he takes a break, he does these walks around the office. But you never know who he’s gonna zero in on for these small-talks. Some people just hope it isn’t you. And yet, you hope it is you. Everyone thinks it’s strange.” The producer nodded to let me know my interview was over and I went back out to my desk. I saw Robert was already starting his walk around the office. Today he seemed to have settled on Erin, even though I knew she had only caught his attention because she was waiting for him.

“That’s how every day’s begun, for everyone, since the dawn of man.” I caught the tail end of their conversation and snickered quietly to myself. I watched as Andy came out of his office to save Erin. They were dating, as far as anyone knew, so it was kind of sweet that he was trying to save her. Andy succeeded and the two of them went back into Andy’s office. I started working on my client list for the day when Erin tried to get my attention.

“(Y/N). (Y/N). Psst. (Y/N).” I turned around to see her frantically waving me over. I got up and walked over.

“What’s….” I paused as I looked at the notebook in her hands, recognizing Robert’s handwriting on the page. “Jim. Pam.” I waved them over.

“What is this?” Jim asked as he motioned to the list.

“I don’t know. But I know that if Robert caught us with this, he’d be pissed.” I whispered. I kept looking at the door to Andy’s office, hoping that he could distract Robert long enough so we could figure this out.

“(Y/N).” Jim whispered back as he turned the journal towards me. I cocked my head and gazed at the list of names that was written down both sides of the paper.

“I don’t…” I glanced up at the office door again. “I don’t understand.” I looked up at Jim who just shook his head.

“What are you looking at?” Dwight butt in. I quickly tried to quiet him down so we wouldn’t be caught.

“It’s nothing.” Jim said equally as loud.

“It can’t be nothing.” I shot a glare at Dwight.

“Yeah, it can’t be nothing.” Phyllis backed him up. I sighed and gave in.

“It’s a list of our names, split into two columns.” The office broke into a commotion which I was able to quiet fairly easily. “Okay, just wait one second. I’ll copy it. Do you have a pen?” I turned to Erin who shook her head.

“No. I’ll take a photo of it.” Jim started to pat down his pockets. “Dwight, can you throw me my phone?” Dwight chucked the phone at the wall.

“Nice catch.” Dwight rolled his eyes. I panicked for a second while my eyes snapped back to the office door.

“If he comes out, distract him.” Pam said. Chaos ensued as Robert came out of the office. I walked around the reception desk, desperately trying to think of something to distract him with. I was partly saved by Phyllis falling out of her chair. As Dwight and Robert went to help her up, Pam snuck behind me and put the notebook back where we had found it. Robert smiled at me as he passed.

“(Y/N), I’d like to talk to you after lunch today.” Robert informed. I smiled at him and nodded.

“Whatever you say boss.” I joked as he walked into the conference room. I visibly sagged as the door closed.

“Okay, which side of the list am I on?” Dwight broke the tense silence. I shook my head and sat back my desk.

“Left.” Jim read out.

“Yes!”

“Why are you….” I started to question. “How do you know?” I sat staring at Dwight for a second before we were interrupted by Andy asking what we were doing. Once we explained, he looked over at me with a worried expression.

“Really great list of names guys. Thank you so much. Good work.” He said sarcastically.

“That was in Robert’s notebook.” I informed him as I stood up. I took my place next to Andy before starting to nervously crack my knuckles.

“He left it at reception and we photocopied it.” Pam finished. Andy gave me a look. I just shrugged at him.

“I don’t want any part of this.” Andy shook his head and started to head back into his office. I went to follow him, quietly debating on asking about how his meeting went. I sighed when I heard the rest of the office talking about how it might be a list of people Robert was going to fire. “How could you let them just do that?” I closed the door behind me and turned towards Andy with a frantic look on my face.

“You think if I knew what was going on I would have let them continue?” I whisper yelled at him. “Andy, if I had any idea that was what they were going to do, I would have stopped them. I would have taken the notebook myself and given it right back to him!” Andy sat down in his chair heavily.

“You know him better than I do. What do you think it is about?” I sat across from him and shook my head.

“I don’t know him all that well.” I grumbled. “If I had to guess, it’s a list of high performers and low performers. Jan had one. David Wallace had one. Jo had one. Hell Ryan had one. It would make sense for Robert to have one.” Andy nodded and we sat in silence for a little while. Another commotion in the office caused us to emerge from our little sanctuary.

“This is if we were all on a cruise ship and had to divide into lifeboats. Here’s something. Who would eat who in an ‘Alive’ situation. No that can’t be it.” Dwight was rambling on and judging by Pam and Erin’s faces, he had been going on for a while.

“I gotta say. Kinda seems like the left side’s the side to be on. Me, Jim, (Y/N), Dwight, Darryl.” Andy read off of the noteboard that Jim had set up. “No offense Pam.” If looks could kill, Pam would have killed Andy. I went back to my desk and tried to get some work done while everyone else continued to work on the list. An hour later, they were still at it. Just a little more quietly.

“Did you guys figure it out?” Angela asked as she walked up to my desk.

“We couldn’t crack it.” Andy said, defeated. I rolled my eyes.

“Go in there and just ask the man.” Stanley finally spoke up. I looked up at him to see him nod at me. “Better yet send (Y/N). He likes her already. That makes her more likely to get an answer than any of us.” I shook my head.

“No thanks.”

“Why not (Y/N)?” The chorus took up fairly quickly.

“For that reason.” I shot back. “He likes me. I’m in his good graces. I’m not screwing with that.” I hissed and quickly went back to work.

“Then you do it Andy.” Phyllis suggested.

“He’ll know we looked at his private notebook.” Andy whined. I rolled my eyes.

“Then say you saw the list by accident.” I retorted. Andy glared at the back of my head.

“I’m already working on this Columbus Day thing for you guys and it’s starting to stack up. Feels like al ot. One thing at time.” Andy looked around the room desperately. “Come on, (Y/N). You really won’t talk to him?” I shook my head and mimed zipping my lips. Andy sighed in defeat before going to the conference door and knocking. When Andy came back out, he was upset and switched his name from one side of the list to the other. I raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything about it.

“Looks like I made the right choice.” I muttered. Dwight nodded in agreement. Ten minutes before lunch, Andy tried one last time to rally us around finding out about the list.

“Okay. Robert’s in the annex. Everybody think quick. What do these groups have in common?” I saved my work and started the walk to the annex.

“Maybe we’re supposed to do it with people in our group.” Meredith spoke up. Jim shook his head. “People in the other group.” I rolled my eyes and hung back to listen to the bickering.

“Stanley, you do puzzles all day. What do we got?” Andy tried. I looked at Stanley and waited for his inevitable joke.

“Well, you take the first letter from each name, assign it a number, add them all up and shove it up your butt!” I started to laugh and Stanley turned in his chair to give me a high five.

“Thank you. A little much needed comic relief. But we really need to figure this out guys.” I briefly thought about taking pity on Andy but then decided against it.

“Here’s how we find out.” Dwight stood up and I shook my head as I leaned against the door. “Let’s line up and compare the lines, see if we learn anything. Left-siders over here. Right-siders, line up over here. Face each other. Match it by height and relative weight. Let’s just size each other up here and left side of the list ....” There was a pause. Dwight was waving me over to stand between him and Jim so I just shook my head. Dwight shrugged before turning his attention back to the two lines. “ATTACK!” A couple of the people in line ran at each other.

“Wait, wait, wait! Stop! Stop! Stop!” Jim tried to break up the fight before it started. “Will you stop?”

“Dwight!” Andy tried to reprimand. I pushed off the wall as the door to the annex opened and Robert walked in. He stood next to me and pointed at the chaos. I shook my head as the others started to realize that Robert was in the room.

“I’d like to invite the following people to join me for lunch.” Robert took out his notebook and read from the list. “(Y/N), Jim, Dwight, Angela, Darryl, Kevin, Toby, Phyllis, and Oscar.” I nodded as I started towards my desk and grabbed my keys. “(Y/N), you’ll be riding with me.” I nodded once as I put my keys back on my desk and waited for Robert to grab his stuff from the conference room. It was a quiet journey to the parking lot and Robert waited until everyone else was in their cars. He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I had gotten in before closing it. “I believe I promised you a ride.” Robert slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. He looked at me with a smile as I grinned at the roar of the engine.

“I believe you did.” I responded, showing him my own mile wide grin. Robert smirked at me before reversing the car and tearing out of the parking lot. I let out a small yell of excitement, my hand hanging off the side of the car and my hair being whipped around by the wind. Robert laughed as he watched my excitement of being in a beautiful, fast car. We pulled up to the restaurant and saw the others waiting for us in a small group. Robert slowed down as he pulled into the lot and found a spot. Taking a second, I fixed my hair and got out of the car.

“I take it you enjoyed the ride.” Robert teased as he put his hand on the small of my back and led me to the others. I nodded and put my hand on his shoulder.

“That was amazing! Thank you so much.” I gushed. Robert chuckled as we reached the group and led us to our table. We all took our seats and Robert held out the chair next to him for me. I sat down and thanked him before looking at the menu. I caught Jim’s eye and couldn’t help the blush that formed on my cheeks as he looked at me like he knew something was up. Lunch was full of conversation about the typical life of the office and moved towards the personal lives of the people at the table. By the time we had finished and were finishing our drinks, we were fully immersed in our personal lives.

“Jim, your daughter, Cecilia. What does she think of the street?” Robert asked as he leaned back in his chair and put his arm on the back of mine. Jim’s eyes flitted to me before settling back on Robert.

“Uh, the street?” He asked, clearly confused by the question.

“Sesame street.” I bit my lip to keep from laughing. This man was full of surprises apparently. Robert looked at me briefly before looking around the table, slightly confused by the confused looks he was getting.

“Oh. I didn’t know anybody called it…. She likes it a lot. She loves Elmo.” Jim finally answered. Robert chuckled as he took a drink of his beer.

“Elmo. God’s sake. It’s the Elmo era.” I sent a confused look across the table at Jim.

“Right.” Jim looked back at me with an equally confused look.

“Sesame Street was created to reflect the environment of the children watching it. Complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Ours is a cultural ghetto.” He put his glass back on the table and shifted in his seat.

“Yeah, she does like Elmo.” Jim muttered as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Everyone agreed around the table before Toby got up.

“I should not be here. I’m in the. I was in the wrong. I’m sorry.” He apologized as he left. “Just picture me back there. I was never here.” I covered my mouth with my hand as I held back a laugh. Robert caught the action and smiled as he picked up his glass to cover his own laugh. I caught Jim texting under the table and caught his look of panic at being caught.

“Pam?” I mouthed and Jim nodded subtly. I nodded and turned my attention back to the rest of the group.

“You know, I feel comfortable enough now to ask you this question.” Dwight turned towards Robert. “What made you pick this group?” Robert shrugged.

“I just think you guys are winners and I wanted to have lunch with you.” Robert shrugged, which caused his hand at the back of my chair to brush against my back. There was a collective understanding from the table.

“Well, what about the other guys?” Phyllis asked. I nodded as I shifted in my chair.

“Losers.” Dwight cut off Robert. I watched the panicked expression fly across Robert’s face before he tried to compose himself.

“No.” He said, trying to cut off the inherent new class system that Dwight seemed hellbent on imposing once we returned to the office.

“Come on.” Dwight pushed.

“Dwight.” I warned. Robert looked at me before turning back to Dwight.

“I don’t.” He was pulling at straws now, trying to find the control he had at the beginning of the conversation. “I don’t wanna say.” Dwight kept pushing him even though Robert was shaking his head, making me lean on the table to look Dwight in the eye.

“Drop it Dwight. That’s enough.” I ground out. Robert’s hand subtly fell onto my upper back and I straightened up.

“Come on (Y/N).” Dwight teased, sensing the power dynamic between Robert and I. “Let the man answer.” I sighed and squeezed my hands into fists as Dwight won. Robert started to play with the collar of my shirt as he grew nervous about his answer.

“Ha.” He let out a brief laugh. “I guess I think they’re losers.” Catching my eye, Robert bit his bottom lip.

“I knew it!” Dwight exclaimed, gaining a little attention from the rest of the restaurant. “Yes! Woo!”

“Probably shouldn’t have said that.” Robert added, seeing the look on my face. Jim’s jaw dropped and he rapidly texted Pam again. Everyone started to filter out, soon just leaving Robert, Jim, and me at the table. “I really shouldn’t have said that.” Robert told us as he ran his hand down his face. Putting my hand on Robert’s shoulder, I looked at Jim and bit my lip.

“I just want to let you know that when we get back, it’s going to be a mess. Anyone that was at this lunch, aside from the two of us, is going to go completely nuts and run with being in the ‘winners’ group.” Jim said as he stood up. Robert looked up at him. “You will probably have to fix whatever it is that you just created.” I squeezed Robert’s shoulder and raised my hand to say goodbye to Jim as he left.

“Did I just create a massive problem?” Robert asked me. I thought about my answer carefully.

“You did.” I responded. Robert groaned before letting his head fall back. “But,” I squeezed his shoulder again to get his attention. His head lolled towards me. I made sure that he was focused on me. “But it also created an opportunity for you to show Dunder Mifflin just how well you can run it. It’s an opportunity for you to prove that you are right for CEO and that you know how to get people to work harder and better.” Robert lifted his head back up and nodded slowly.

“So you are saying let this play out. Let them fight amongst themselves and step in before it goes too far.” Robert said as it finally clicked. “Then everyone will at least accept me as CEO.” I nodded as Robert took in this information. “Why didn’t I pick you to be manager?” He joked as he pulled out his wallet to pay the bill. I laughed and did the same.

“Because I didn’t want to be a manager.” I said, putting down a $20 bill. I held up my hand when Robert started to protest. “It covers my food and Jim’s. It’s the least I can do.” Robert nodded as he stood up.

“Why pay for Jim?” he asked as he helped me out of my seat and led me back out to his car.

“Because we gave you the least amount of trouble and I know that when we get back he’s going to give you the least amount of trouble.” I shrugged as we neared the car. “Besides, it means he owes me and that might come in handy when there is an issue that Andy, you, or me can’t handle in the office.” Robert laughed as he dug his keys out of his pocket.

“Well put.” His smile grew as he finally got them out. Turning towards me, he held out the keys. “Wanna drive?” I gasped as Robert let the key dangle in front of my face.

“Are you serious?” I asked as I took them. Robert nodded and made his way over to the passenger’s seat. I took my place in the driver’s seat and put the key in ignition. “Are you serious about this?” Robert nodded again with a smile growing on his face. “Absolutely sure?” I asked again. Robert started to laugh. “I’m just making sure because once I drive this car I might always ask to drive it.” Robert put his hand on top of mine.

“(Y/N), I wouldn’t have given you the keys if I wasn’t serious.” I smiled at him. “I especially wouldn’t have let you get in the driver’s seat.” Grinning like an idiot, I reversed out of the spot and took off down the road back to the office. We were still laughing and enjoying ourselves when we walked into the office. Robert automatically went to the conference room while I took my spot at my desk.

“Well, that was certainly an odd lunch.” Jim said. I nodded and tried to keep my smile down. “Is everything alright?” I looked over at Pam, whose eyes were red. I mean she had been crying all day from hormones but it seemed like she had been crying pretty recently. The three of us tried to ignore the other members of the office who were already getting into a fight over the losers comment that Dwight no doubt had already been spreading around the office. I had finally had enough and got up to go into Andy’s office. I caught the tail end of his talking head.

“Metaphorically, of course. But now, it is my job and my prob.” I raised my hand to knock on the door when it opened. “(Y/N)?” Andy took one look around the room and sighed before turning back to me. “Did you need something?” I gestured around the room.

“I was just going to ask you to something about this.” Andy nodded and went to the conference room. He knocked on the door. Robert opened the door and looked between me and Andy.

“Hi, Robert? Can you come out here please? It’s really important.” Andy asked as he stepped to the side so Robert could take his spot next to me. “Just wanted to clarify something. Some people here are under the misconception that some people may be considered, uh, let’s say top-tier and others would be second-tier.” Robert sent a look at me before shaking his head slowly.

“I never said that.” He seemed to be debating his options while Andy took it the wrong way.

“Thank you. Great.” Robert held up a hand and Andy stopped. I bit my lip as I waited for Robert to prove me right.

“I said winners and losers.” Robert’s eyes drifted over me and landed on Andy. “Is that what you’re talking about?”

“Oh, that, it might…” Andy stammered. “That might actually be what I’m thinking of. Can you clarify that?” Robert’s eyes landed on me again and I nodded to tell him to go ahead with what we had talked about at the restaurant.

“Let me tell you some things I find productive.” Robert turned to face the office, confidence easing into his voice. “Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty.” His eyes met mine again and I couldn’t keep the pride off my face as I watched him take control. “I’ll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social cues. And then, inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No, I do not believe that at all. If I invited you to lunch, I think you’re a winner. If I didn’t, I don’t. But I just met you all. Life is long, opinions change. Winners prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.” He nodded and winked at me. I smirked at him as he went back into the conference room.

“I guess that’s that.” Phyllis said as she went back to work. I nodded and went to sit back at desk.

“No. No. No.” Andy gained my attention again. “(Y/N), the two of us are finally going clear this up.”

“Andy. No.” I said. Andy took my arm and pulled towards the conference room.

“We’re going in there.” He opened the door as I tugged my arm out of his grasp.

“Fine. But I won’t like it.” I grumbled. We walked in and Robert looked up at us as if nothing was wrong.

“I know that every time I talk to you things just seem to get worse. But, you don’t know these people and we do. And if we let you work with faulty information, well, then we’re not doing our jobs as managers. So, please take this pen and change your list.” Andy said. I backed up a couple steps and held up my hands.

“I just want it on the record this is all Andy’s idea.” I said before miming zipping my lips.

“I’m not going to change my list Andy.” Robert smirked at me. “And I don’t use ballpoint pens.” Andy sat down at the conference table while I took a seat behind him.

“Well, then I will make a new list for you.” Andy grabbed a piece of paper and started a new list. “Stanley. You may think he’s a lazy grump, but did you know he has the most consistently high sales numbers of anyone in this office? And you may think he’s hard to love, but did you know that he’s in, not one, but two long-term relationships?” Robert looked over at me and I nodded.

“I did not know about the sales figures.” He admitted.

“Meredith Palmer. Supplier relations. The word no, not even in her vocabulary.” I bit back the smile that was threatening to spread across my face. Andy was finally coming into his own as manager and it was happening before my eyes. “And just to show you that I’m being fair. You had Gabe in the loser column. I think that is astute. Good call.” I chuckled as I nodded. “Pam, easily the most creative and kind person I have ever worked with.” I smiled and looked down at my lap. I could hear Jim and Dwight arguing in the office but I ignored them. “Erin Hannon, the receptionist and my closest confidant. A winner if there ever was one.” Looking back up at Robert, I noticed that he was also trying to keep the smile off of his face.

“Are we done?” He asked when Andy had finally put down his pen.

“Yes.” Andy got up to leave. “No! The Friday before Columbus Day, we’re gonna take a half-day, so that everyone can get a jump on the long weekend.” I watched Robert, waiting to see what he would say.

“You want a three and a half-day weekend for Columbus Day?” Robert looked over at me.

“We’ve always had them.” I stood up. “It just seemed like it would be good business to ask our new CEO before we just up and did it.” Andy nodded beside me.

“And you two are aware that Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans.” Robert continued. I nodded while Andy started to walk to the door.

“Don’t care.” Andy left the room and Robert smiled at him as he left. I stood there trying not to laugh.

“I knew that.” I offered as I stood in the doorway. Robert looked up at me.

“Did you?” He smiled. “Did you really?”

“I was a history major.” I winked at him as I left the office. Everyone was packing up already and some people were already walking out. I smiled at Andy as I gathered up my belongings. “Nice work Andy. You’re going to be pretty good at this manager thing.” Andy smiled at me as he locked up his office.

“Thanks (Y/N).” He patted my shoulder. “You’re going to be pretty good at this assistant manager thing.” I smiled as I turned off my computer. “By the way, he likes you too.” Andy winked at me as he left the office. I stood by my desk, mouth agape at Andy’s comment.

“Everything alright (Y/N)?” I jumped when I heard Robert’s voice. I shook my head to clear it and finished up packing.

“Yeah. Sorry. Andy just said something that threw me off.” I chuckled as I put my bag over my shoulder. “You did really well with that little speech.” I bumped his shoulder as we entered the elevator and started our descent.

“I thought I might have messed it up when Andy walked into the conference room.” Robert admitted. I shook my head.

“You did great. Everyone was pretty impressed even if they didn’t want to admit it.” I reassured him. Robert smiled and squeezed my hand.

“Thank you (Y/N).” Robert said as we exited the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed the back of my hand before heading to his car and taking off out of the parking lot. I got into my car and exited the parking lot myself. Getting home, I went through my normal evening routine. As I lay in bed that night, I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking about what Andy had said and what it could possibly mean. I fell asleep daydreaming about what I wished it would mean.

#james spader #james spader imagine #james spader fanfic #james spader fanfiction #james spader x reader #robert california #robert california x reader #robert california fanfic #robert california fanfiction #robert california imagine #the office #the office x reader #the office imagine #the office fanfiction #the office fanfic

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callboxkat · 4 years ago

Text

Statement of Patton Sanders

Author’s note: Anon, this is probably not what you meant, but, hey! Here you go!

Summary: Statement of Patton Sanders regarding a series of accidents. Statement recorded live from subject, February 7th, 2021, by Logan Sanders—no relation—Head Archivist of The Magnus Institute, London.

(Necessary bg info: The Magnus Institute is an organization that takes and investigates statements about paranormal experiences. Jurgen Leitner is a character who collected books with supernatural powers.)

Warnings: This is a The Magnus Archives AU, so if you’ve listened to that you should know what to expect. Body horror (cut off fingers, broken neck), nondescriptive vomiting, blood mention, food mention. Child abuse, sort of. It's in a story in this story. No character death or villain characters.

Word Count: 3289

Original prompt:

Writing Masterpost!

Ao3 Link

@badthingshappenbingo

...

“Hey, we have the same glasses.”

“Yes, I suppose we do—Do you need help with the chair? Oh, you’ve got it.”

Patton and the other man sat down on opposite sides of a desk. He was a weary-looking, bespectacled man who couldn’t have been much different in age from himself, although slivers of premature gray were visible in his hair.

The man—an archivist, he’d introduced himself as—leaned forward to turn on a tape recorder. It seemed a little old-fashioned, but it certainly did fit in with the overall vibe of the place (recording on a laptop would have probably felt out of place), and Patton didn’t mind. This would be much easier than hand-writing his entire statement.

The archivist cleared his throat. “Statement of Patton Sanders regarding a series of accidents. Statement recorded live from subject, February 6th, 2021, by Logan Sanders—no relation—Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. Statement begins.”

Patton shifted in his seat. The archivist sat across him, looking at him expectantly. The tape recorder lay innocently on the desk between them, the tape inside slowly turning with a quiet tick. They sat in the basement of the oft-mocked Magnus Institute. They were in an office, but even here the walls were lined with bookcases, stacked with boxes upon boxes, each of them, it appeared, filled to the brim with folders, or with cassette tapes. Other peoples’ statements, presumably. Patton wasn’t sure how he felt about that. His story just being one of hundreds more, maybe thousands, in those boxes.

“Do I just… start?” he asked.

The archivist adjusted his glasses. “Yes, please.”

He nodded, swallowed, and even before he’d fully decided where to begin, he spoke. The words came surprisingly easily.

“I used to work at a library in my home town, back in the US. It’s a little town in Florida, almost at the border with Georgia, pretty near the coast. I don’t… I don’t work there anymore, of course. But at the time—this was about three years ago, back in 2017—I was there most days.

“One day we got this book in the return bin. It was weird. Not one of ours. It didn’t have a title that I could see, but there was a label on the inside cover. It was a bit smudged, but the last name was Leitner. I don’t know if it belonged to them, or if that was the author… I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, I guess.”

He noticed that the archivist suddenly seemed very interested in what he was saying, even leaning forward to hear.

“I was about to move the book over to the donations bin—I figured that’s what it was, you know, just a book somebody didn’t want, and decided to give to us rather than throw away, and got the wrong bin by mistake. But… I don’t know. Something about it just drew me in. I have no idea what; usually I go more for cookbooks, or crafts stuff, or um, lighter fiction. Not… that.”

He tried for a weak smile, but the archivist didn’t seem open to humor. Which Patton have once found awkward, but now it was almost a relief. He wasn’t sure how to make his story funny.

“So I took it out of the return bin, and I put it on my desk, instead. I was busy right then, but when I had a free moment, I sat down to take a look at it. It was old and worn, and like I said, there was no title. But it had this… weird feeling to it. Something off about it. I didn’t like it at all. But it was like I had to open it.

Patton sighed, glancing away. Suddenly, he felt on the edge of tears.

“And I made the biggest mistake of my life, and I opened that book.

“It was a story about a child who keeps refusing to do his chores. His mom would give him things to do, and the kid would say, ‘Yes, I’ll do them!’ but then as soon as the mom leaves, he’d drop the broom or whatever and run off to play with his toys instead. And as time goes on the mom gets more and more tired of this, because she has to do all the chores he doesn’t want to do.

“So, she takes him aside, and tells him sternly that he has to do his chores, or there would be consequences. And of course, he doesn’t listen, because he’s a kid.

“So the next day, takes him aside again, and tells him again to do his chores, and he continues not to. And it continues like that for ten days. But on the tenth day, the mom trips on the broom that the kid left in the middle of the floor, and she hurts herself. Very, um… very badly. She… breaks her neck. But she gets up off the floor, and her neck is all… it’s bent at a 90 degree angle. And there’s blood on the floor. I remember that page very vividly. Most of the book was in black ink, with some—” He made a face, “—illustrations. In the picture on that page, the blood was red.

“So, the mom… she goes to the kid, her neck all wrong, and she tells him, ‘You’re going to clean until your fingers fall off! Which… he does. She makes him clean, and clean, and clean. He has to scrub the floor, and when he finishes, she makes him start all over again, and again, and again. And, one by one, his fingers just… fall off.”

Patton was silent for a moment.

“On the last page of the book, there was a handprint. It wasn’t printed, you know, with ink. It was stuck in with a dark substance. I like to think maybe it was chocolate or something… but I doubt it. The weirdest thing about it, though, was that it had no fingers.

“When I closed that awful thing, I looked up, and it was dark outside. I’d apparently been reading for hours. I want you to understand—this wasn’t a big book. Maybe twenty pages, tops. And I’d found it near the start of my shift. I have no idea where all that time went, or how I didn’t notice it passing. Or why no one came in to disturb me. It’s like no one came to the library that entire day. I lived in a small town, like I said, but it wasn’t that small. We usually had people trickling in and out, even on slow days. Retired people who needed something to do, school kids doing homework, you know. You have a library here, you should understand, even if yours is more, uh… specific. So, it was really strange that no one had come in at all.

“Anyway, it was a horrible, horrible book. It was like someone set out to write a kids’ book about why they should do their chores, but instead of that, it was this nightmare version. I really didn’t want to add it to our library. Where would you even put a book like that? So I didn’t put it in the donation pile like I’d planned. But I also didn’t seem… able to just, like, get rid of it. I couldn’t just throw it away. Not because it was old and weird and maybe worth some money, no, more like… I don’t know. I just couldn’t do it. It’s hard to explain. So I put it in my desk, went home, and tried to forget about it.

“I’ll admit that, at the time, my apartment—my flat, you call ‘em here—wasn’t the cleanest back then. And thinking of that book, I kind of wanted to clean it. But also… I really didn’t. Thinking of that book made me very aware of the mess, but I kept thinking of that kid and the way his fingers just fell off, one by one, with that horrifying mom with her broken neck just watching, and then that handprint in the back of the book.

“I thought maybe whoever owned the book last, that Leitner person or whoever, put the handprint in there as some kind of joke. Just tilted up their fingers so they didn’t touch the page, to make it look like they didn’t have any. But I guess I kinda doubted that, even then.

“I made dinner that night, fed Jim and Pam—they’re my cats—and I left the plates in the sink to clean the next day.

“In the morning, they were stacked on the counter, perfectly clean. I tried to tell myself maybe I’d cleaned them and forgot, or maybe the cats had…. Somehow bumped them, and licked them clean, and it had just coincidentally looked purposeful. I don’t know. Pam liked to jump up on tables.

“I’d almost put it out of my head when the doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting any visitors, but sometimes a couple of my friends would drop by at random, so I might not have thought much of it, except that my cats suddenly started acting different. Scared. They were hissing, and they ran off to hide. That wasn’t like them at all. …I didn’t answer the door.

“A half hour or so passed, and I figured whoever it was was probably gone, so I went to peek out the front window. Sure enough, whoever it was… if there ever even was anyone out there… was gone. But there was a box sitting on the welcome mat. Plain cardboard, no shipping label or address or anything.

“I should have left it alone. It probably wouldn’t have changed anything, but… who knows.” He let out a heavy sigh. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t leave it alone. I looked around, I wanted to make sure no one was there. No one was, as far as I could tell, so I opened the door.

“The box was small, maybe 6 inches long, a little less tall and wide than that—err, I’m not sure what that is in metric. Maybe like… 15 centimeters?”

The archivist waved him off. “It’s fine.”

“Sorry. So the box was small, and it was very light when I picked it up, which was honestly a bit of a relief at the time. I could practically hear one of my friends, Virgil, screaming at me about mail bombs. He’s a pretty cautious guy. Now I think maybe he had the right idea.

“I thought maybe the box was empty, even, until I stepped over the threshold and… and I uh, felt something rolling around in there.”

He shuddered at the memory.

“I brought it into the kitchen and opened up the box. Inside was… inside was a single, human finger, cut off just below where the joint would have been on the person’s hand.

“I felt sick. I was sick. I barely made it to the trash can. I remember my cats still didn’t come back to see what was going on, which was unusual for them. Normally they were very nosy little guys. It was like they knew something was very, very wrong. I don’t blame them for staying away.

“I called the cops right away, of course. Or, as soon as I’d calmed down enough to dial the number. I mean, course I did. Someone had dropped off a finger at my door.

“The lady on the phone was very nice, but I don’t think she believed me at first. Or maybe she just couldn’t understand what I was saying. I was a little upset, obviously. Eventually, though, the police did show up. They took the box, asked me some questions, and they left.

“That night, I was in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes, trying to forget the whole thing. I was almost done, but then, somehow… the garbage disposal turned itself on. Something wrong with the wiring, they told maybe. I was so surprised that I dropped the plate I was holding, and the stack of dishes shifted, and somehow, my hand ended up… my finger went down the drain. Into the garbage disposal. It all happened so fast. One second I was just washing a plate, humming the intro to Steven Universe, and the next….

“I scrambled to turn it off, but it was too late. I grabbed a dish towel and drove myself to the hospital in a panic. Only remembered later to send someone to look after the cats.

“They couldn’t save my finger, even if they had tried. There wasn’t anything left to save.

“A week later, I got another package. Left at my door, just like the last one. Identical to the first, but this time it was a different finger. Maybe from the same hand, but it wasn’t like I looked at it long enough to know for sure. And I’m not a doctor. I called the cops again, and they came. They weren’t much help. They poked around a bit, talked to the neighbors, and told me to get a security camera. I did do that.

“I was very careful that day, remembering what had happened last time, even though I knew it was ridiculous. What, some crazy person leaves a severed finger on my doorstep, and that somehow makes me lose my own in a freak accident? …But I was careful, anyway. And nothing happened that day. But the next morning, when I went to go to work… I slammed the car door shut on my finger.

“It kept happening. The same plain cardboard boxes left at my door. The camera always seemed to cut out when they were delivered, although once I swear I caught a glimpse of a silhouette. It looked… wrong, though. Maybe it was a tree casting a shadow or something. No one’s head looks like that.

“I stopped calling the police, eventually. They didn’t help. Just asked the same questions, swore they were doing all they could, and left. I stopped opening the boxes, too. I tried throwing them out, burning them, kicking them into the gutter. I went to stay with my friend Virgil, but the box found me there, too. I moved twice. It didn’t seem to matter. Every week, a box would show up, and within a day or two, even if I never even opened my front door or looked at the box, I’d lose another finger. Until….”

Patton looked down at his lap, where his hands sat. Where each finger should be, they instead ended in neat little stubs just after the knuckle. They were remarkably even, considering that he’d lost each one in different ways, in different weeks. One after the other.

“After that, it finally stopped. My hands healed as much as they ever would, and I went back to work—I still don’t know how I kept that job—and I found that book in my desk. I tried to throw it out, but I couldn’t make myself let go of it. I tried to feed it to the paper shredder, but I couldn’t make myself rip out the pages. Eventually I just threw it across the room, and it landed neatly in the pile of donated books. Apparently, it would have let me just… add it to the collection. But I couldn’t let other people read it—What if the same thing happened to them? So I took it home with me.

“I did try to get rid of it on the way there. I stopped by the river, a dumpster… I tried to set it on fire. Imagine trying to get a lighter to work like this. I couldn’t follow through with any of them, though, and not just because of my hands. The book wouldn’t let me. Or I wouldn’t let myself. I don’t know which it was, really. Maybe I was afraid something worse would happen if I managed to destroy it. I don’t know.

“I locked it away. Buried it where I couldn’t see it. Still, it was like it was calling to me, telling it to hold it, to read it, to place my own hand over that awful handprint. It was driving me crazy. The cats wouldn’t go near the room it was in.

“I tried to ignore it. To forget about it. For a while, I thought it was working. I was still constantly aware of where it was, but it got easier to ignore.

“Then, one day, the doorbell rang. It was another box. Inside was a single, severed toe.”

A silence stretched between them, yawning between Patton and the archivist. The tape recorder ticked on. A tear rolled down Patton’s cheek. When he continued, his voice was choked.

“I will never forgive myself for what I did next, but I couldn’t go through that again. Please don’t judge me. I know it’s unforgiveable. But you can’t understand what it was like, not if you’ve never been through something like that. I knew it was the book by now, that was doing this to me, and I had to be rid of it. I still couldn’t destroy it, but I could… give it away. So I went and I got the book, and I wrapped it up as best I could, and I wrote ‘DO NOT READ’ on the package in capital letters. And I gave it away. I don’t know who I gave it to, and I don’t want to know. I drove across town, stopped at a random house, and stuffed the book in their mailbox. I can only hope they never read it.”

Patton let out a shaky breath. “It worked.”

The archivist’s face was impassive.

“After that was all finally over, I decided I needed to get out of there. Not just out of the town, but as far as I could get. I had family in the UK, and one of my friends studied abroad here and loved it, plus you guys speak English, so it seemed like as good a place to go as any. So I moved. Nothing else has happened since. I don’t have any fingers, but at least I have all my toes, and I’m rid of that awful book. I’ve tried to forget the whole thing, which as you might imagine, is a little difficult, but I try. Still, when one of my coworkers mentioned this place—I work at a shop now, restocking at night, so I don’t have to see the customers—I decided to come. I just want to be rid of this story. So… if you guys can track down that book, stop it from hurting anyone else, please do.” He clenched his hands, as well as he could. “I don’t want its weight on my mind anymore. It’s done enough to me.”

He fell silent.

“Statement ends,” said Logan. The archivist leaned forward and turned off the tape recorder. “Thank you for coming in. You can leave the way you came. Roman, my assistant, will take down your details. We might contact you if we need further information. Do you, by chance, remember the address of the house where you left the book?”

Patton shook his head. “No, I… I didn’t want to know.”

Logan nodded slowly. “Alright. Well… we appreciate your time.”

“I hope my statement… ah, comes in handy,” Patton joked weakly. He almost smiled at the gobsmacked look on the archivist’s face, the most emotion he’d shown the entire time Patton had been there. And then, he got up, and he left his story behind. He’d given it away to someone else, and he was done with it.

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unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 4 years ago

Text

Recording Skills

Tom x Reader

A/N: first imagine ever so this might suck. I got this idea from the office when Jim and Pam first fight. Hope you like this. And thank you for reading. Feedback is always appreciated :)

Y/N’s POV

Currently I am leaving the house to go to Sofia’s Dance recital, sadly Tom can’t go because he has meetings all day and we figured out that I can just record it and show it to him later. As I was driving, I called him to let him know we were on our way. “Hey,” I said. “Hi love, are you guys on the way?” he asked. “Yes, and we are positive we will be great, right Sof?” I said as i looked at her in the mirror. “Yep,” she said with that grin on her face just like her dad. “Okay, so your positive you know how to record and point it directly where she will be?” he asked. “Yes, thomas i am sure i can aim a rectangular object and record it.” I said. “Okay, just making sure, okay well, i have to go I'll see you later, love, bye Sof.” he said as sofia said bye back. “Okay bye.” I said as I was still driving. “See honey you need to hang up the phone,” he said. “Oh sorry” I said hanging up and getting at the local where sofia will be performing.

As we got inside sofia went to her group as i went to find my seat which was in the front so I can record her and see her have fun. As the recital started i hit record and just filmed it, just then i got a call from an agent i've been talking to start my singing career off, I quickly answered to hear what he had to say. “Hey,” I said. “Okay Y/N, the record label loved you, and they loved the music you wrote, and they are wanting to work with you, for your first album.” he said as i was freaking out and parents were telling me to shush. “Omg thanks, oh my gosh, I will call you later.” I said hanging up and recording again.

As the recital finished I quickly called Tom, but it sent me to voicemail and I told him I had news and that I couldn't wait to tell him and that I was just so excited. We then headed home and i got sofia ready for bed, she was a little sad that her dad wasn't going, but she knew he had things to do, which is hard for a 4 year old to understand. As I put her to bed Tom called me back and I answered the phone.

“Hi,” I said. “Hey, how was the recital?” he asked as he sounded tired. “It was good, she had fun.” I said as i sat down. “Thats great love, did you record it?” he asked as i didn't know how to bring it up. Oh boy.. “Yeah uh funny thing i didn't get it..guess my recording skills were bad.” I said trying to break tension. “Y/N, you said you knew how to record it,” he said a little harsh. “Okay tom it’s only a video. I-`` I said as I got cut off. “No, Y/N that moment is just over, it’s happened, and now I can't see it and enjoy it.” he said as I almost started to cry. “Maybe you should've been there.” I said regretting after those words came out of my mouth. “Okay, that’s a little unfair, don't you think,” he said still in a harsh tone. “If you want to talk about whats fair we will, okay, you've been gone for a long time, and you said and you promised sofia you’d be there, hows that for fair,” I said trying not to sound like i'm frustrated. “You know what I can't deal with this okay,” he said as I was holding back the tears. “Okay,” i said gulping. “Talk to you tomorrow?” he said. “...y-yep.” I said hoping he didn't hear the crying. “Okay.” he said as I hung up. I just sat there crying a little and then i saw sofia wake up, “Mommy, why are you crying?” she asked as she sat on my lap. “I'm not crying, i'm just there's something in my eye and it hurts.” I said as she just laid her head on my lap.

A couple days later..

Since I had to go to some meetings with my agent about the contract and everything else i left sofia with her three favorite uncles, and they agreed to it which was a plus. As i was in meetings I was focused and wanted to get things done and get this thing started. I then got a phone call from tom and headed into the hall and answered it.

“Hey, love,” he said gently. “Hi,” I said. “Why is sofia with the twins and paddy?” he asked as I forgot to tell him. “I had some meetings to attend, and I thought I could leave her with them since she hasn't seen them in a while.” I said as there was a slight pause. “Oh meetings for what?” he asked. “Uh, oh right, well you know i want to start singing and well my agent helped me out and got me a job with this record label and right now we are finishing off the contract..” I said hoping he wasn’t gonna get mad again. “Oh, love that’s great, you didn't tell me about that.” he said as i felt bad for not telling him. “Well i was going to tell you, but i just forgot.” I said. “Oh okay well then i'll leave you off to it.” he said with a chuckle. “Okay, bye.” I said as i chuckled as well. “Bye.” he said as he hung up.

I then headed back in and finished everything off. I was then let go and they told me I would get a call for whenever we wanted to plan the recording and writing of the songs. As I headed to Harry’s and Sam’s house. It was so silent. It’s like if they weren't here. I then saw Harry and Sam sitting on the couch. “Hey.” I said as they got up to give me a hug. “Hey, Y/N, Sofia’s just playing with Paddy, we just wanted to talk to you about something sofia said.” harry said. “Yeah okay, what did she say?” I asked as sam went on.. “She said you were crying the night of her recital.” he said which hit me like stones. “Uhh, well-” I said as harry cut me off. “Look we don't want to butt in, but did tom make you cry?” he asked. “Yes, he did, “ I said quietly. “Why?” they both asked. “Well, he got mad that I didn't record Sofia’s recital, and i thought he was going to take it as a joke, but he didn't and I had good news for him about me and well, i don't know.” I said not wanting to bring any more attention to the situation. “What a dick.” harry said. “What was the news?” sam asked as well. “Hey, language. Besides it was stupid, you know..and the good news is that i got a record label to sign me off to start my singing career.” i said as they nodded and had their mouths wide open. “Y/N congrats!” they both said. “Anyway Y/N, he shouldn't have reacted like that, it’s a video, and if he knew you needed help, he should have let us know.” harry said. “Yeah i guess, it’s just he’s been gone for a long time and being able to handle sofia and me is hard, and I feel bad for letting her be here when you guys could have been doing something else rather than being in my drama.” I said. “Dont worry about it, it’s fine, we just want to know if your okay, and it’s not stupid, your’e allowed to cry, or get mad, you dont always have to be happy, and you have to talk to him about it too, not just us. And he needs to understand it was an accident and not your fault.” sam said. “Right.” Another voice said as we all turned around and noticed who it was. Tom. The twins ended up leaving and heading upstairs as they got the cue. “You cried in front of sofia and didn't tell me?” he asked. “I didn't want to stress you out even more.” I said as I tried to add more. “How do the twins know?” He asked after a long pause. “Sofia told them.” I said. “Oh, and the good news, you were gonna tell me that night?” he asked, “Yeah,” i said looking at the ground. “Im so sorry love, i really didn't mean to overreact, it was stupid i know for me to have done that, it was a dumb video, but i just felt left out for missing out on a moment for her,” he said. “It’s okay, i just im happy we talked about it.” I said as I put my head on his shoulder. “Yeah me too, im sorry again and congrats love,” he said hugging me and kissing my forehead. “Daddy!...”

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gingerwritess · 5 years ago

Note

What was the proposal with Loki like? Did he propose? Also what was their wedding like? xxxx

The first time Loki proposed to you, Jim and Pam were getting married.

You thought he wasn’t watching, really, with the soft, slow breaths ghosting over the top of your head, the arm fallen limp around your chest—you’d assumed he fell asleep.

But Jim and Pam run off to Niagara Falls to get married, and Loki breathes a quiet chuckle into your hair. The hand splayed over your stomach taps you softly.

“Tha’s cute.”

He’s mumbling, more than half asleep and words slurring, eyes lidded, but he gives you a sleepy smile and lifts a finger towards the laptop sitting on your thighs.

“We should do that.”

“Get married on a boat?” You whisper, glancing up to look at him.

“Rivers in the lower regions of Asgard are the most beautiful I’ve seen,” he murmurs, head dropping to rest against the top of your head. “We could actually sail off into the sunset.”

You pause. Is this a proposal?

You wouldn’t put it past him, to propose in a rather…unconventional way, but you’d thought he was biding his time because he was planning something a bit more personal and thought out.

Not just a half asleep, backhanded mention.

But still, it’s endearing. You never know what to expect with Loki.

“Sure.” You twist around in his arms, tilting your head up to press a kiss to his jaw. “When?”

His eyes are closed again.

“Tomorrow.”

“Yikes,” you laugh, patting his thigh as you settle back against him. “Let’s at least get engaged first.”

It’s quiet for a moment and you’re fairly certain Loki fell asleep again. This must’ve just been mostly sleep talking.

“Aren’t we?”

“Huh?”

Loki breathes deeply, eyes still closed. “Aren’t we engaged?”

“No, genius.” You grin and lightly poke your elbow back into his gut. “I’m still waiting.”

Silence. Then,

“Fuck.”

He opens his eyes and sighs loudly, right in your ear. “Then that was all a dream, wasn’t it.”

Heart twisting, you pause the show and turn around with a laugh, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You were dreaming about me, sunshine?”

“Always,” he mumbles, shifting down on the couch cushion to lay better. “But that was a nightmare. Asking you to be mine. Terrifying.”

Your fingers find his hair, slowly rubbing the back of his neck. “Did I say yes?”

“Mm.” His eyes close again. “Can’t recall.”

“One of these days you should ask me for real,” you quietly tell him, biting back a smile when his eyebrow quirks over closed eyes. “Just to see what happens.”

He’s almost asleep again, but he cracks one tired eye open to look at you.

“Would you marry me?”

Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach—you didn’t think he’d actually ask.

The answer is yes, of course, yes, but your throat goes dry at the sheer suddenness of such a life altering question, the fact that Loki’s literally half asleep not exactly helping the case.

“Never mind,” he whispers, closing his eyes again and letting out a slow breath.

Your fingers still in his hair and you shake yourself out of a daze, swallowing thickly.

“Yeah.”

One corner of his lips quirks upwards. “Really?”

“Yes,” you giggle, tugging gently on his hair, but he still doesn’t open his eyes. “Yeah, I’ll marry you. We’ve already discussed this, doofus.”

“Wonderful.” He wraps his arms around you, burying his face in your neck with a quiet chuckle. “Thank you.”

A few minutes pass, and Loki’s asleep.

…that was it?

Okay, you shouldn’t be disappointed, and really, you’re not, but you can’t say you’re not surprised.

With how much he likes to talk about “when we’re married” and “once you’re my wife,” you’d expected maybe just a little more than a sleepy “marry me?” in the middle of watching The Office.

Oh well. It’s cute, and very unlike him, and it did the job—

“You truly think so little of me?”

Long fingers dig into your sides and you shriek, jolting off of Loki with a start. “HEY!!”

Laughing, he laces his hands together behind his head, lounging there with ankles crossed and hair splayed and an infuriatingly smug grin on his face. You backhand his chest, pulling yourself off the floor.

“Tell me you didn’t think I just proposed to you.” He raises an eyebrow.

“You did,” you huff, climbing back onto the couch with him. “That’s why I said yes, dipshit.”

“No, I asked you if you would marry me. Not if you will.”

“You’re joking, right?”

He shakes his head, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth with a grin for a split second as you stare at him, dumbfounded.

“I changed my mind,” you groan, grabbing a pillow off the couch and smothering his laughter with it. “I won’t marry you ever in a million years, Loki, not after that.”

”I’ll wait,” he laughs, voice muffled under the pillow. “A million and one years until you’re mine, then.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

feel free to send me ideas!!

if you enjoyed…what if i linked my venmo…haha no i jest…no obligations….just in case….u don’t have to ha ha…….unless… ??

~ masterlist link in my bio ~

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted @kerri-masson @iamverity @innaminitus @spnbarnes @narcissxblack @woohoney @anxiousamandapanda @padmeisgay @authordreaming13 @lokisironthrone @theunknowinglys @highfuncti0ningfangirl @epicfallenismine @stubby-toe-589331 @fandomnerdsarecool @retrofantasyland @arch-venus25 @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @littleredstarfish @marshyrebelcloud @okie–loki @atterodominatus @stfxlou @pandacookieowo @tonakings @shinisenko @tinchentitri @nildespirandum @thefallenbibliophilequote

#loki x reader #loki reader insert #loki imagine #loki requests #loki x reader fluff #boyfriend!loki #loki proposal #loki laufeyson #loki series

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somedayonbroadway · 4 years ago

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wAIT I REALLY WANNA HEAR YOUR OFFICE AU IM VERY CURIOUS LOL

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

Yes!!!!! Fun story, I did this one once, but I didn’t like it at all, so I’m redoing it now and I’m stoked!

The Office AU

Characters

Jack Kelly — Jim Halpert

Katherine Plumber — Pam Beesley

Spot Conlon — Dwight Schrute

Racetrack Higgins — Angela Martin

Albert DaSilva — Andy Bernard

Morris Delancey — Ryan Howard

Henry — Kelly Kapoor

Hannah — Meredith Palmer

Medda Larkin — Phyllis Vance

William Hearst — Stanley Hudson

Oscar Delancey — Oscar Martinez

Darcy — Toby Flenderson

Obadiah Weisel — Creed Bratton

Specs — Darrel Philbin

Crutchie Morris — Erin Hannon

Todd Kloppman— Michael Scott

Okay so…

Jack Kelly

A salesman at a local paper company, a job he originally sees himself as getting out of fairly quickly despite sticking around for ten years.

He’s a talented, but insecure artist, longing to go to school for art and eventually make a living off of his work

Growing up, Jack has two older brothers who are difficult to get along with as they both were jocks and loved to pick on him

Also growing up, Jack had an abusive father and a mother who walked out on him at a very young age.

Upon beginning to work at Dunder Mifflin, Jack finds himself falling for the quiet receptionist

Finding out that said receptionist is and has been engaged, he starts on the hardest waiting period of his life

Jack is the prankster of the office, choosing mostly to blow off his actual work and mess with his desk mate Sean whom he calls “Spot” just to mess with him more

This catches on until the whole office calls Sean “Spot”

Jack often gets bored as he claims that he hates his job and is looking for ways around actually doing it, especially in the beginning

He’s a huge baseball fan, though he admits he wasn’t a huge fan of playing sports even though he was on several teams in high school, as he wanted to be able to match his brothers’ accomplishments.

His sarcasm is a sort of escape from the world around him.

Does not like costumes very much

Everybody loves Jack except for Spot, who is convinced that Jack is his worst nemesis.

It takes Jack a long time to admit his feelings for Katherine, the receptionist he’s fallen in love with, and when he does, he is overall rejected, prompting him to request a job transfer

Eventually moving on, Jack ends up dating one Davey Jacobs from another branch of the company before that branch is closed and he’s moved back

He’d always been scared about being openly bisexual, but he liked Davey

Eventually, he realizes that despite liking Davey, he’s still very much in love with Katherine and breaks up with the other man, asking Katherine out on a date.

Davey eventually becomes his best friend

After asking Katherine out finally, the two end up staying together and getting married

Jack proposes at a gas station in the rain when he eventually goes away to art school for three months

Together, Jack and Katherine have two kids.

They find out they’re pregnant on accident before they are married

He often lives spontaneously, never running anything by anyone and hoping for the best

Eventually becomes one of the most trusted people within the company

Is forever devoted to Katherine

His father dies before his wedding and Jack can’t bring himself to cry and, when faced with going back into his childhood home, finds he can’t do it

Becomes protective of his friends, including his coworkers (especially Crutchie once he begins working there)

Is attacked at one point by Katherine’s ex-fianc��

Is very soft and romantic

Is often teased for being bi, especially by the “traditionalists” in his office who claim he practically has slept with everyone in the office

Brushing things off fairly easily, again using sarcasm and jokes to mask his feelings

Is slightly protective of Henry who is very young and naive and continuously goes back to a relationship that is toxic for him

Finds humor in any situation he can.

Genuinely likes to make people happy and will do a lot to make that happen

Katherine Plumber

Is shy and quiet when she starts working at Dunder Mifflin

Is often referred to as boring and solemn

Is in an endless, slightly abusive relationship that she’s convinced is meant to be for eight years, ever since high school.

Grows up as an only child with well off “normal” parents who end up divorcing each other when she and Jack are engaged

Is the “hottie” of the office and is one of the few women who work there, the youngest actually

Jack often has to subtly get people to stop harassing her

She enjoys writing and even has her own blog and publishes her own journals online. Jack reads every single one of them

Is very close with her mother and has a strained relationship with her father who does not like Jack and likes her previous fiancé better

Katherine is very meek and shy towards the beginning of her career, but often gravitated towards Jack because he brought out the humorous, adventurous side of her

Had been dating the same man since her freshman year of high school, despite him bringing his brother on their first date and abandoning her at a basketball game having forgotten about her.

Despite being engaged for three years, she often jokes that there’s no end in sight

Tries to convince herself that Jack is like her brother in the beginning to deny her own feelings for him

Jack teaches her how to fight, telling her that she’s a woman who often walks alone in New York City and she needs to have some training on her side

She comes from a rich family who she denies funds from in an attempt to be independent.

After Jack admits his feelings for her, she lets him kiss her, resulting in her calling off her wedding without explanation

Losing touch with Jack for a long few months, Katherine finds herself wanting to be more assertive, saying what she wants and making sure she gets it

Realizing she’s in love with Jack after seeing and accidentally picking up a call from him over the months he was gone, she embarks on a waiting period similar to Jack’s as Jack is in a relationship with Davey and she fears it will never end

Davey and her actually end up becoming pretty good friends, and after Jack and Davey break up, he becomes a sort of confidant and best friend to the both of them. After a while, obviously. David’s not too happy with Kath after Jack breaks up with him

During Jack’s relationship with David, Katherine ends up going back to her ex, lasting for a while before she wants to be honest with him.

She tells him about Jack’s kiss resulting in him having a hissy fit and starting a bar fight and later attacking Jack at their workplace.

Jack and Katherine start to grow closer again after this

Once they start dating, Katherine starts to break through her shell

When Jack goes away to art school she’s disappointed he didn’t propose to her but ends up accepting his proposal when meeting him halfway

She finds out she’s pregnant after twisting her ankle playing volleyball, which she’s rather good at, at a company picnic before the wedding

Jack and her run away from their own wedding when things go wrong and get married on a boat before having the wedding they planned

While going into labor, Katherine admits she’s terrified and sees herself as unfit to be a mother before Jack promises her that they’re in this together

She has two children with Jack

Her and Race have a strained relationship despite the fact that they both constantly try to be friends

While she often helps Jack on his pranks with Spot, she is kind to Spot and is one of the only people who knows about his secret relationship from the start

When Jack starts a business that takes off in Santa Fe, she and him begin to fight but eventually get over their single rough patch and end up drawing closer together

She stands up for herself and her family above all else

Spot Conlon

Is a born and raised traditionalist according to everyone else

Lives on a beat farm

Believes that there are strict rules for men and women that should be followed as he’s basically been brainwashed since he was born

Is in an on again off again relationship with a man, which he is at first ashamed of, as men were not supposed to sleep with other men

Is a purple belt in karate

Is the highest ranking salesman at Dunder Mifflin

Believes his biggest nemesis to be Jack who is constantly trying to prank him in various ways, ranging from simple and childish to well thought out and expertly orchestrated

Main goal in life is to become the manager at Dunder Mifflin despite being loyal to the current manager who’s not quite as big an idiot as Michael Scott is

Is named Assistant Regional Manager but if often referred to as Assistant to the Regional Manager

Volunteer Sheriff’s deputy for a while

Wants to be the leader of his workplace but would also do what needs to be done in order to protect his coworkers at any cost (ex: saving Jack from getting beaten to a pulp by Kath’s ex)

Is an expert paintball player

Falls in love with the head of accounting (his on again off again relationship) and is actually able to make his partner happy

Had a somewhat abusive and distant father and basically raised himself and his younger cousin Vince

Spot enjoys having control over things, making life a bit harder for the people around him as he enjoys acting as somewhat of a vigilante.

Is in a relationship with the head of accounting, Race, until he murders Race’s cat and is dumped, sending him spiraling into depression

Upon this break, Race starts dating and gets engaged to Albert DaSilva, a salesman who came back with Jack

Towards the end of that engagement, Spot wins Race back in the event of having an affair before both Spot and Albert have enough and walk away

Eventually Spot ends up in a relationship with a friend of Katherine’s named Riddle (@bexlynne’s amazing OC)

Moves from this relationship back to Race after a while and then back again until eventually realizing that Race is the only one for him and running Race off the road to propose to him.

Regards Katherine as his best friend despite her marrying his worst enemy

He loves Katherine’s kids who grow up calling him “uncle Spot” against Jack’s wishes

Learns sign language for his boyfriend

Knows German as he mostly spoke German growing up

Is fairly closed off

Will do anything to protect the people he cares about

Racetrack Higgins

The head of accounting at Dunder Mifflin

Raised in a very religious home for most of his life before being moved around in different foster homes, most of which were bad

Is mostly deaf with one hearing aid that allows him to work normally even though he often shuts the thing off to actually concentrate

Learns sign language from a teacher at his school who wants him to be able to actually communicate in a proper way that he can easily understand.

Is often cold towards people who talk down to him or talk slower so he can try to read their lips

Owns several cats

Head of the party planning committee

Craves validation

Is perceived as homophobic before his romance with Spot Conlon is found out by Katherine

Has a strained relationship with Katherine who he constantly tries to be friends with when he’s in a good mood.

Bottles up his emotions as best he can out of force of habit

Hates people who put their relationships on display as he views it as indecent

Is unapologetic

Is in an on again off again relationship with Spot Conlon who often calls him “Monkey”

After this relationship officially ends for the first time, he is asked out by Albert DaSilva

Accepting this, he finds he’s easily annoyed by Albert but likes how sweet the man can be when he tries

Eventually Race begrudgingly accepts a proposal from him, one that spoils Jack and Kath’s original plan for a proposal

Has an affair with Spot towards the end of the engagement, leaving Spot and Al to fight over him in an old fashioned duel

Jack finds Race crying in the bathroom and looks up the signs to promise he won’t tell anyone

Race connects with the receptionist that takes over for Katherine, as Crutchie also grew up in the foster system, but has a much more positive outlook on life

Race tries to protect him, much like the rest of the office

Later, after Spot’s next relationship, they end up sleeping together again only for Spot to move on eventually

Race is later hit on by a politician who eventually asks for his hand in marriage.

Race agrees, only to later find out that the man was in love with someone else and eventually get dumped and kicked out.

Oscar, whom Race has never truly gotten along with, offers to put Race up while he gets back on his feet, resulting in Race admitting to him that he’s still in love with Spot

When Spot runs him off the road to propose to him, he gets down on one knee and signs to him, making Race cry

Race and Spot adopt a son together and live on Spot’s farm

At the wedding, Jack is Spot’s best man, Katherine is Race’s

Oscar is named their son’s godfather

Race has a really hard life that he refuses to open up about, but he turns out alright in the end

If you’d like to hear about more characters or see any scenes, just let me know!

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theofficeimagines · 4 years ago

Text

My Commitment Issues Are Worse

Disclaimer: I do not own any of The Office characters or direct quotes from the show.

Ryan x OC

Part 2

After the unpleasant interactions had concluded, I made my way to my desk that was located towards the back wall behind an older looking man. "Hello" he turned around and asked "So new in town huh?" "Yeah" I put my stuff down trying to keep the small talk at a minimum. "Watch out for that guy." He said pointing at Jim. I looked at him and wondered if he was either senile or if there was something in the water in this place that made everyone bat shit crazy. Noon rolled around and I decided to take my break and grab a snack from the vending mechine. When I opened the door I saw Jim and Pam look my direction and suddenly get quiet. I could almost physically feel the tension and wondered what that was about. "Sorry to interrupt. I…" "Nope. You’re not interrupting anything. Nope. I’m… " he said looking rather nervous. "All right" I said interupting him. I made my way towards the vending machine with the tense quiet still in the air. "I should get back to work." Jim said to Pam "Yeah. I know, me too." They both walked out leaving me wondering if I should mention this to Karen, since they had just begun to date, but I decided to just mind my own business. It was probably nothing. I scanned the vending machine with my eyes then suddenly, I heard someone come in. "Can't decide huh?". I turned to see who the voice came from. It was the cute guy from earlier standing at the doorway with his hands in his pockets. "Yeah lots of options" I said gritting my teeth at the corny statement. He smiled and held out his hand. " I'm Ryan by the way I haven't gotten to introduce myself yet, uh, Beth right not Elizabeth." I replied with a smile meeting his hand with mine for the handshake. I looked into his striking blue eyes and felt my stomach jump a little. It had been a while since I felt this feeling and I forgot how good it felt. "Yeah, nice to meet you Ryan." I was glad to finally get his name instead of referring to him as the cute guy. "Well since your having a tough time choosing and if you're on break I just took mine too. Maybe I could take you out to lunch? I could show you one of those super exciting Scranton hot spots. You could cash in one of those coupons in your gift bag." he joked. Was he asking me out on a lunch date? I knew for sure I wasn't ready to start dating right now. To be commiting to anything right now other than getting my life together. I was living in a hotel goodness sakes. I didn't want anything to hold me back from my goals. My brain was telling me 'NO NO NO' over and over again concidering the fact that he was also my co-worker but if I was being completely honest with myself, my body was telling me yes. A little fun wouldn't hurt. "Mm.. sure okay maybe we coul--" "Oh my god Ryan! There you are I was looking everywhere for you." A girl said running into the breakroom wrapping her arms around his waist. Ryan groaned and rolled his eyes. "Oh hi.." she said in a rather catty tone not even having the courtesy of introducing herself. "Kelly do you really have to know where I'm at all times?" "You know what, I'm actually not that hungry um.. I'm just going to go back to my desk." I said inserting some coins and choosing a granola bar from the machine. All during which Kelly was blabbering on about some celebrity gossip to Ryan. Does this girl stop to talking to breath? Honestly, it's almost impressive how much she can say in a short amount of time. The granola bar finally fell to the bottom. I grabbed it and made my way out the break room as fast as could. The rest of the day consisted of watching a very interesting orientation video staring Michael and Dwight, way too many meetings one of which resulting in Tony qutting, and ending in the air being let out of all the cars in the parking lot. The day felt as if it lasted forever. Karen, Phyllis, Stanley, Martin, Ryan and myself ended up gathering in a circle to talk. Stanley, Phyllis, and Ryan explained to us how this day was pretty tame compared to other days. "Trust me. It only gets worse." Stanley says. "Is he always like this?" Martin asked."Sometimes he brings more costumes." Ryan answered. I reflected on the day again and realized I had hardly gotten any work done. "When do people work?" I asked the group. "Oh, we find little times during the day." Phyllis said answering my question. "How are we going to get home?" "Bob Vance has an air pump. He said he’d fill all our tires up." "Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration" Karen said. Phyllis smiled at her and we all continued to chat for a little while hearing Stanley, Phyllis and Ryan tell us more Michael Scott stories.

Finally, 5 o'clock. Bob Vance had all the cars tires filled and everyone headed toward the door out of the office. "Hey are you ready?" Karen asked me stopping at my desk. "Yeah you go ahead, I still have to put these in here" I said as I put some folders into my desk drawer. "Alright meet you down there, do you want to grab a drink. I could sure use one after today." "Yes. Please that is exactly what I was thinking." We both laughed and she walked out the door. "Beth, you haven't left yet." Ryan said sounding relieved. "Could I talk to you?" I shrugged and nodded waiting for him to continue. "Listen...about earlier.." "Oh you don't owe me an explanation. Really I'm not really um.. looking to see anybody right now.." "Oh..right maybe as like friends or something we could hangout.. or.." "Maybe, I have to get going. Karen's waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow Ryan." I said a pretty coldly. I was a little vexed that he was still seeming to try to get me to go out with him even though something was clearly between him and Kelly. "Okay.. see you tomorrow" he replied sounding disappointed? I don't know. And whatever was going on between him and Kelly I knew I wanted no part in being in the middle of that. Karen and I arrived back at the hotel which conveniently had a bar next door. Jim met us there and we had a few drinks and shared a few laughs refeclting on our day at work. Jim and Karen finished their last drink while I was still babysitting my half finished one. "Do you want us to wait for you?" "No! No you guys go ahead I'm done being third wheel tonight " I joked being half serious. I liked hanging out with them but I wanted to give them their space. We said our goodbyes and Jim and Karen made their way out of the bar. "A scotch neat please." I hear someone say at one bar stool down from me. I turned and saw an extremely good looking man there. He was older than me. Maybe 15-20 years older but he was incredibly handsome. Black hair, brown eyes, some stubble and I noticed he was very tall before he sat down easily 6 foot. He turned to me noticing that I was looking at him. "Hi there." He said smirking at me. "Hi.." I said feeling my face get a little hot. "Can I buy you another drink?" He asked. "Oh no thanks I have to work tomorrow." He nodded and held out his hand "Elijah" "Beth" I answered simply mirroring his introduction. I shook his hand. This kind of attention was so foreign to me. Having been married up until about a month and some days ago, I never even really experienced dating. Elijah and I ended up talking for a little while. He was born here in Scranton and lived in Phili but was visiting his parents. We continued to talk and somehow ended up revealing we were both divorced. Something we had in common that I knew for a fact not many people my age understood. He was so put together and sure of himself. It was so sexy and refreshing. The conversation kept going and the flirting was getting a little heavy. I looked at the bar's clock realizing it was getting pretty late. "I should get going I have work in the morning, well in a few hours." I said. "Yeah I should get going too. I leave tomorrow evening. Here's my business card with my work number and my cell number. Give me a call sometime if you want. I come to Scranton pretty frequently. If you're ever in Phili too." We both got up off the bar stools and I grabbed my purse and put it over my shoulder. "Yeah definitely. I had fun thanks for a great conversation I had a pretty rough day." "Well I'm glad to hear I turned it around. I'll walk you next door." When we got to the front entrance, I looked up at him and he smiled down at me. "Goodnight, Beth." he said to me leaning down to kiss my cheek. "Goodnight, Elijah" I replied with a smile and entered the lobby of the hotel. I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling and thought for a little while about this evening. I had fun Elijah but the thought of that lunch date with Ryan kept creeping into my mind. How would it have gone? What would he have been like? What would we have talked about? How would it have...ended. I closed my eyes and began to trace my finger down my exposed belly and slipped it under the elastic of my panties. I bit my lip and let out a gentle sigh. Without warning I pictured the ending of the lunch date.. in the back of his car. I snapped myself out of that thought immediately. Honestly what the actual hell was wrong with me. My only priority right now had to be to work and get into law school. Nothing more. Nothing was going to stop me.

Hi reader! I'm planning on making this a bit of a slow burn so I hope you bear with me! Don't worry some smutty stuff is coming soon 🤭

#theofficeimagines #submission #the office #the office us #the office uk #michael scott #jim halpert #dwight schrute #pam beesly #ryan howard #kevin malone

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amisssunbeam · 4 years ago

Text

When (and Why) Hickey Fell in Love with Gibson

Well, it all started when “Hickey” was a child named EC, possibly Edgar or Edward, probably Edward, and the last name was something common, Clark or Carter or Cooke perhaps, as they are amongst the most familiar surnames in Great Britain today. (I myself like Cooke as his last name. See below.)

BTW, there was a time when I was in love with Herman Melville and tried to be very good so I could go to Heaven and escort Herman to all the constant Elvis concerts being held in the serene ethereal. (This was about the same time I mentioned “Elvis Presley” to my husband who thought I said “Melville’s Presley”, which in turn started that heavenly dream I still live in. Elvis IS Billy Budd.) Oh, what is my point? Melville was born in 1819, and so I have decided EC was born in 1820, making him the perfect age to set sail on “Terror” in 1845 (and helps me dope out a time-line for EC’s life).

Was EC abandoned by his mother to a foundling’s home? I’ve no doubt; I think he lived with her long enough to bond (she a hoe; father unknown), and then she left without a word when he was three and a half years old. And did the drunk old men and women who ran the home try to give EC any solace? Of course not. Plus, meals were served on a very erratic basis, which is why Edward and his analogue David Young never got very big. But EC thought of his mother often, sometimes with an enormous anger which caused him to befoul his bedding, sometimes with a longing that causes him to dissociate completely.

Now the drunk old men and women who run the home would prefer that little Eddy not be so needy, but they have a solution. They know a rich man called (let’s say) Captain Autolycus Wilson, who likes very young boys. (Such a cliché.) The drunk old etcs. ask Captain Wilson if he would like to purchase, uh, sponsor very small Eddy with his big blue eyes and reddish blond hair for a handsome fee. Captain Wilson is without a ward at the time, so he agrees to take care of Eddy, whom he calls Cookie. The expected things proceed. Except: Wilson is fond of Cookie, finding him clever and amusing and witty, and Cookie becomes very fond of Captain Wilson, fond to the point of adoration. The Captain sees to his education with private tutors (the less said about what went on with the tutoring the better: too depressing for words). But, despite the buggery and sodomy and orgies (many of which take place at the Captain’s private men’s club, The Sons of Phorcys, before interested audiences), Cookie becomes well educated, and something of a dandy too. These are the gifts Captain Wilson gives him in exchange for his complete oppression and dehumanization.

Okay, we knew it was coming. Cookie begins to show signs of manliness, which means he no longer interests Captain Wheeler. Captain Wheeler goes back to the foundling’s home and “adopts” a likely little carrot top who is nameless to us. But, before he kicks Cookie out, Captain Wilson offers him a drink from one of his cut glass, uh, glasses. Cookie goes completely catatonic.

Afterwards, with a five-dollar gold piece and the clothes on his back, Cookie finds himself on the streets of Victorian London.

It gets worse and then it gets more worse. He is Cookie no more.

So he runs with the dog pack. He steals cheap jewelry and silverware. Steals nice clothes too, so he is always well turned out. (Speaking of dogs, EC doesn’t like dogs. Too many high-tone toffs, too many coppers have sicced huge slavering four-legged beasts on him. Dogs, dogs are shit eaters.)

However, one useful trick he learns from the dog pack is to hang around taverns, especially those catering to sailors who have returned to shore. He likes to chat with the sailors and hear their magical tales of life on the vast blue sea as he picks their pockets. These stories are why E.C. decides to dab Cornelius Hickey and put him in Regent’s Canal.

“You’ll be gone how long, Cornelius?”

“At least a year! And then I’ll be in Hawaii. Oahu.” His Irish accent is quite pronounced.

“Aren’t they cannibals who live there?”

“I think they prefer fish.” Both giggle.

“In other words, they’re Catholics!” EC says.

More giggles. “See, here are my sailing papers!”

“Look, you already got paid!”

“Yes, a handsome sum. Speaking of which, let’s have another drink.”

“Just a small ale for me.” EC takes a deep breath. “I bet your mam was glad to see your pay!”

“Me, I keep my money. I was a foundling, see.”

“I lived in an orphan’s home too.” (EC thinks to himself: I will always live in an orphan’s home.) “So when do you sail?”

Then there’s a small slice of time and the ex-Cornelius Hickey lies bleeding at the bottom of Regents Canal.

(There’s a great fic which gives more details about this event on A3O: “Skinned Snakes” by @willowbilly)

There’s not much variety on a ship; sailing and caulking is boring. So no one should be surprised that the new Cornelius Hickey grouses.

But one day, he shares a joke with Billy Gibson, and Billy laughs and says, “Now, that one’s worthy of Shakespeare.”

Hickey is pleased and intends to make Billy laugh again.

What was the joke? What is the joke in any office setting? Most office jokes are about those other people in The Office, who get to be more and more “other” as the jokes continue (think of Jim and Pam against Dwight), until Hickey and Billy have their own little two-man Eleusinian mystery cult going on.

They sit together at what serves as the library table and look at picture books together. Perhaps it’s a book of engraved Biblical illustrations. Hickey points at one and whispers, “Look, Billy, there’s Lieutenant Irving walkin’ on water in his nightshirt!”

Billy gets a bad case of the giggles.

Weekes is sitting nearby and hears them. “What’s this, laughin’ at the Holy Scriptures? Do you want the ship to sink?” (Weekes is like the Dansker in “Billy Budd”, a quiet type who utters oracular remarks and tries to keep the superstitious young sailors under control.)

Hickey and Billy like to look at maps too, especially maps of the Pacific. They move to a more secluded place to share their secret dreams. They decide they’ll jump ship in Oahu and live in the sun and sand forever.

“Bugger the officers, Billy!” Hickey whispers. “‘Orlop!’ I’ll feckin orlop ye, Irving!”

Hickey’s minor blasphemies appeal to Gibson, who must also feel underappreciated.

(By the way, Melville was discharged in Maui in 1843 where he worked as, among other things, a pin-setter in a bowling alley before he returned to New York in 1844.)

But more than jokes happen. Billy sews a nice shirt for Hickey and knits him a warm red scarf. “Look here,” Billy says to the other sailors sitting around. “Now doesn’t Cornelius look smart!” They all applaud, somewhat sarcastically, but Hickey is pleased.

It appears that Hickey can sit in Billy’s little cabinette, I won’t say anytime he wants, but he CAN sit there. Which is where the friendship goes to the next level. Again, there isn’t a lot to do on an exploration. I like to think of Hickey and Billy sitting right beside each other, CURTAIN OPEN, Hickey making his small jokes, perhaps about Mr. Diggle’s bad bread, and then he puts his hand on Billy’s knee. When they hear someone coming, Hickey rapidly removes his hand. With this negative evidence, Billy learns what Hickey meant by touching his knee.

The first kiss: this is as tricky in fan fic as it is in real life. How do you know when to take that first step? My experience has been that it is “The Man” who kisses first. (Don’t get mad! Last century, when I was getting kissed, that rule of courtship was ratified in iron.)

We can imagine that Hickey finds the simple warmth coming from Billy’s frame . . . nice. Better still, he has no obligation to be (or do) anything to Billy. He is free with Billy. One night in May 1847 on Billy’s little cot, the bedtime bells ring (I don’t really know ships work), and Hickey says, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Billy,” and, because it’s been building inside him for several months, he leans over to the seated Billy and kisses his cheek. Billy looks up in pleased surprise (giving Hickey the same look he gave him when Hickey put Young’s ring on his finger).

I will now commence to use @starbuck’s excellent timeline to date the next steps of their relationship. “Go for Broke” is September 1846. Eight months later (plenty of time for a courtship) is “The Ladder” which I like to think of as the SEX-isode; by this time Billy and Hickey have become very experienced in their buggery.

So just let me make up some stuff. In that sexy sexy month October 1846, they get to first base (they make out until their lips are chapped.) Second base occurs in early November 1846 (running their hands over each other’s quivering but clothed skin). Late November 1846 brings a firm third base (petting to orgasm: yup, that was a phrase much in use when Mamie Eisenhower and I were college roommates). And on Christmas Day 1846, HOME RUN is achieved in costumes and crannies as drunken sailors overwhelm the air. Hickey and Billy are in love! They run up and down the deck with the snow falling on their pink boyish cheeks. Young, beautiful, in love, just the two in their icy mystery cult.

Uhoh, here comes June 1847 and “The Ladder”. Now you know goddam well Irving isn’t going down to the orlop deck just to “find” the “caulker’s mate”. He’s been smoldering over his suspicions for months (he and Hickey exchange stink-eyes all the time at Sunday services). Finally, Irving gets a double-header: he achieves a major vicarious thrill AND a chance to save souls at the same time!!!! Still, Hickey and Gibson are busted.

Stuff happens, Silna and Sir John and Tuunbaq, all that arga warga. Not to mention, Gibson’s nervous conversation with Irving. Which Hickey sees. (Notice how I rigged the timeline to make sure Hickey got to see Gibson’s postern “all winter”, i.e. the winter of ’46-’47.)

Hickey is angry, but he never learned how to express anger towards someone he loves. First he reverts to an infantile state; then it seems he finds a new love: The Captain.

The Captain offers him a drink. A drink! Who would do that but a devious seducer! Hickey scours his brain. What do you say to an Irishman? “Here’s to us Micks!” OH GOD OH GOD HOW COULD HE BE SO STUPID! THAT HAS TO BE THE STUPIDEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ANYBODY!!!!! OH GOD! But Crozier’s face doesn’t freeze, doesn’t close down; it’s still open and pink. EC will remember that.

Now, because I pledge allegiance to @rhavewellyarnbag and all that he stands for, I will also assert that Francis is a three-beer queer. And if it weren’t for that Bible-beating bastard Irving barging in on them, who knows what would have happened next?

Hickey keeps trying to shine up to the Captain; he brings him a trophy, the guilty Eski girl. But then there is that unfair cross-examination by Crozier and his big shiny toff buddy. I have to say, I feel for Hickey in this scene. He really thought he was being useful to Crozier, and Crozier is completely dismissive. How often have I misunderstood what other people wanted from me! They quarrel, Hickey loses his cool and ends up getting flogged. Oh, sure, there’s worst things than bein’ lashed, but still . . .

Then there’s the tobacco. Just as you and I would, Hickey uses Occam’s useful razor and sees the tobacco as a love gift from . . . Billy. Billy! Billy the steward with access to supplies! Billy must still love him!

Sound the music cues, for here comes the bride! In the next episode “First Shot a Winner”, Hickey marries Billy. The reasons for this marriage are numerous (hey! Just like real life!), but one reason is Billy’s ability to spy on those in command.

Now, I won’t pretend that Hickey thinks this, but I DO! Hickey will never never never forgive Crozier and determines to destroy him. Then he HE Hickey will become King of the Expedition, just like Crozier is now, and Hickey will even have his own super-tall willowy delicate queen at his side.

It doesn’t work out that way, as we know, because nothing ever works out. Still, Hickey loves Billy to the end, taking Billy’s head in his hands to say good-bye as lovers do. The stabbing is a favor to the suffering man, and, if the murder turns out to have its useful aspects, well, so be it.

That’s my story, and, being a Libra, I can be easily persuaded that I’m wrong about everything.

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dedicated to @rhavewellyarnbag, @blazingadam, and @wildcard47

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