#Yes i CAN. 1 2 4 5 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

walkingstackofbooks · 2 months ago

Note

Treat- Gashiar "Protective Garak"

It took me quite a while to remember if I'd ever written something matching that description hehe XD (I really don't write that much Garashir, and what I do write is canon-typical-subtext with more than a dash of Garak's-a-dick-even-when-he's-trying lmao.)

But actually, yeah - a whole chapter of Vision Awry was Garak being protective over Julian - even if Julian was very much resenting it! - and that definitely was something I was very proud of. So, my apologies if you've already read it, but here's an extract from that!

“I trust your experiment was successful?”

Bashir scowled at him. “You really can’t let anything go, can you?” he said, frustration evident in his voice.

“I am certain you've made that observation before,” replied Garak, raising his eyebrows at the doctor.

Bashir pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing deeply, before locking eyes with Garak. “Fine,” he said, “I’ll tell you. But I’m trusting you, Garak - you can’t tell Girani, or anyone else. Somehow, they don’t understand how important this is. But you’ll understand, won’t you?”

Garak could almost taste the doctor’s desperation. “I’m sure your explanation will be enlightening,” he said carefully; not a lie, but not a promise, either.

Apparently it was enough for Bashir. He sat up straighter in his chair, still holding Garak’s gaze with a determined intensity - as though eye contact was a task that required great focus.

“I think you know that this is the third time I’ve re-lived this day, and that in each of the three previous versions, Chief O’Brien died.” He paused for confirmation; Garak nodded. “Well, the first time it happened by accident - but on the second and third days I was able to synthesise a serum that allowed the time-travelling effect to take place once again. We still haven’t worked out exactly what’s happening, but to put it simply, it seems that absorbing delta series radioisotopes into my bloodstream allows me to experience a temporal shift while I sleep.”

“And that’s what you were formulating on my counter,” said Garak, mind racing to work out why Girani was supposedly so opposed to it. “Excuse my ignorance, Doctor, but that does sound rather dangerous - almost as if you’re giving yourself radiation poisoning.”

Bashir shrugged. “In effect, I am, yes,” he said, “but only very mildly, and it seems to disappear when the day resets. Trust me - I’ve given myself a very thorough medical workout, and there are no physical side-effects. It’s perfectly safe.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Garak replied. “I assume any mental side-effects are equally well-accounted for?”

“Girani’s wrong about me being suicidal, if that’s what you’re asking,” Bashir said bluntly.

Garak pretended to take a sip of his now-too-cold tea, watching the doctor carefully over the rim of the mug. Bashir continued to meet Garak’s eyes coolly, daring the tailor to argue back.

“I bow to your expertise, Doctor.”

Bashir’s eyes widened slightly before his lips settled into a smile, pleased at Garak’s response, just as Garak had known he would be. With his next question already on his tongue, Garak leant forward.

“If I may ask, what precautions are you taking so that you don’t become so in the future?”

Immediately, the doctor opened his mouth, but then closed it, sitting back and appearing to properly consider the question. This was satisfying; Garak had hoped that Bashir would find it difficult to just brush his words away. Although he did believe that Bashir genuinely did not think he was a danger to himself, he could not yet be certain that the doctor’s self-assessment was more accurate than Girani’s.

“I’m not going to just… give up,” said Bashir slowly, eyes flickering from side to side as he collected his thoughts. “That’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it? If I can’t save Miles, then I’m going to keep going until I do save him, no matter how I feel. And if he doesn’t die, then it’s all over anyway, and everything will be fine, again.”

“And how are you feeling, Doctor?”

“What?” Bashir looked confused, as though he actually couldn’t imagine why Garak would have asked him that.

“You said that you’re going to keep going, no matter how you feel. How are you feeling today, my dear?”

It wasn’t sentiment asking the question, Garak assured himself. It was a natural continuation of the trap that Bashir was talking himself into, and the doctor would never answer if he didn’t believe that Garak cared.

“You asked me something similar in the infirmary, too. Since when did we discuss our feelings?” the young man asked playfully, trying to cover up his vulnerability with a gentle laugh.

“My dear doctor, your feelings are always on display to me . Every discussion we have is positively awash with your emotions. You do not try to hide them.”

That was not entirely true - Julian simply wasn’t good at hiding how he felt. There had been many times over the years where the doctor had suddenly grown quieter, more reserved, some sort of shame stealing the passion or hurt from his voice; but it was not usually so difficult to discern what Bashir’s true feelings were.

“Earlier, you said I was a puzzle,” Bashir said.

“Earlier, you were.”

“Then why are you asking, Garak?” the doctor replied with a soft, weary sigh. “If you’ve managed to figure me out, why not just tell me how I’m feeling?”

Sitting back, Garak clasped his hands together in front of him, considering if he should take up that invitation, and how far he could go before Bashir decided he’d had enough.

“Well, if that’s what you’d like…” he said.

Bashir scoffed. “Everyone else seems to be, so I guess I might as well hear you, too.”

Garaks’ lips curled up into a wide smile. “You’re angry, doctor, and frustrated. You resent being put on this fifty-two-hour watch - and actually, I do believe you’re embarrassed by it, too. You’re scared it might interfere with your ability to save Chief O’Brien, and you’re distressed by the memories of watching him die. And you’re trying to ignore the possibility that it might be impossible to ever save him--”

“That’s not true!” Bashir interrupted.

“Isn’t it, Doctor?” asked Garak blandly. “You’ve accepted that all this time travel might be…futile?”

“Of course I haven’t!” he exclaimed. “You wouldn’t either, if it was someone that you lo-- that you cared about. There’s got to be a way that Miles can survive today - and however long it takes me, I’m going to find it, you can count on that.”

“Hmm,” Garak said. “I am afraid to say that I remain unconvinced. I cannot claim to know how the universe works, but if Chief O’Brien is supposed to die today, then I suppose the day will end with Chief O’Brien dying. You cannot cheat fate, Doctor, no matter how hard you try.”

“I won’t accept that, Garak,” Bashir shot back. “You can’t know that you’re right.”

“And nor, my dear Doctor, can you,” said Garak, increasing the harshness of his voice. “How many days will it take you to stop chasing this pointless quest? Twenty? Fifty? One hundred?”

“I don’t know!” Bashir stood up sharply. “But you can jolly well bet that it won’t be today.”

“Your loyalty is commendable,” said Garak, also rising out of his chair. “But it should not be your priority. Your optimism cannot last forever, Doctor: what happens when it runs out? When will you push yourself beyond your limits, and will anyone be able to catch you when you do?”

Bashir crossed his arms. “You’d do anything for Cardassia,” he retorted, “whether or not it was good for you, loyalty to the state comes before anything else, doesn’t it? Well in the Federation, we’re loyal to our friends - they come first. I suppose I shouldn’t have expected you to understand that.”

Sometimes, Garak felt as though he was merely a spectator in his own body, hearing his voice speak words that he hadn’t yet thought of. His need to win this argument, prove himself right overcame everything else, and muscle memory took over, caution giving way to borderline cruelty.

“They’re hardly the same, Doctor, but I would not expect you to understand that, either. You have clearly failed to grasp the most basic concept in Cardassian literature.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“I speak of the repetitive epic, Doctor. There is nothing that ever really changes. Oh, small details might, you may be able to buy some extra minutes, even hours for our Chief of Operations. But in the end, you will fail, just as you’ve failed before, and you will be far better off if you accept that now. Chief O’Brien is doomed, and you will be too if you continue down this foolhardy path.”

“This isn’t a Cardassian novel, Garak, this is my life!” Bashir snarled, stepping angrily towards the tailor. “How could I live with myself if I didn’t try? If I give up on Miles, I might as well give up on myself!”

Bashir was breathing heavily; for a few seconds, Garak watched the rough rise and fall of his chest as the doctor started to recompose himself. The momentary distraction was enough for Garak to swallow his retort, and before he could say something that he would really regret, he walked over to the replicator.

“More tea?” he asked, causing a huff of breathless laughter from the other man.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” Bashir replied incredulously. “More tea? ”

“I think we’ve both made our positions clear,” Garak said. “And now, I am going to make some more tea. Would you like some?”

#5+1 visionary fic #andi writes #thanks for the ask!! this was actually super fun to find hehe #even if a bit of a challnege #i was genuinely sitting here browsing through all my fics being like ??? can i answer this XD #(i love garashir in theory)#(but i don't read or write it that much - at least romantically)#(i ship julian with everyone - which does /include/ garak)#(but i guess i'm far more of a jiles or siskoshir or polycule gal at heart <3 <3)#but anyway no yes having said that I also can't /believe/ i forgot about this part in vision awry 😅😅#the most major plot point of day 4 what?? welp #(i could have chosen a part where Garak's MORE actively protective but 1. spoilers and 2. it wouldn't /really/ make sense out of context)#(i'm hoping this does :P )#thanks again!!! <3 <3 <3

5 notes · View notes