#Yeah you could see a big national monument or something

[toxinwing]

Hooray! More tag things to do! Thanks to @theianitor​ for keeping me busy.

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 blogs you would like to know better.

Nicknames: Nick, Toxin, Poison, and...er, Red Bean Bun (long story). Gender: Transmale. Very Masculine. Totally. ...Yes, I have, like, eight or nine stuffed animals on my bed. What of it? They’re comfy. Star sign: Cancer the Crab. Obviously a hermit crab in my case. Height: Just about 5′5″.  Time right now: [Insert time here because it won’t be accurate when I fill it out the first time] Last thing I googled: Uh...North English accents, pictures of chickens, Swedish currency (neither I nor my dad could remember whether it was spelled with a ‘c’ or a ‘k’), and Peter Lorre. Assume what you will. Favorite bands: Gah, too many. R.E.M., Queen, Sublime, Collective Soul, Rusted Root, Rammstein, Yellow Magic Orchestra, Dropkick Murphys, Chumbawamba, Beastie Boys and Green Day. Just to name a few. Favorite solo artists: Arlo Guthrie, Stan Rogers, and Tom Lehrer. I’m probably forgetting some, but those were the first three to come to mind. Song stuck in my head: Rydeen by Yellow Magic Orchestra. Last movie I watched: Taxi Driver, I think. Last tv show I watched: Er, the news? I don’t watch that much TV. I might’ve turned on a science show last night to have on in the background, but I can’t remember what it was. When did you create your blog: Sometime in 2013. I can’t remember exactly when. There’s probably somewhere I can look that up... What stuff do you post: A bunch of F1 related stuff, drawings, tag things, and anything else that I want to post or reblog, really. When did your blog reach its peak: I’m not sure I’ve even reached a gently sloped hill yet, much less a peak. Do you have any other blogs: Nope. I lump all of my interests together into one big, messy katamari of a blog. Do you get asks regularly: No, not really. Maybe one every month or so. I do like answering random questions though! So long as they aren’t too personal or rude, it’s all good. Send anons and whatever. Why did you choose your url: It’s a version of an old username I’ve used in a few other places. My friends used to say I had an unhealthy interest in poisons and toxic substances. Following: 45 Posts: 614 Hogwarts house: ...No idea! Never got into Harry Potter. Pokemon team: As in my team of Pokemon or which team I’d be on?...I’ll take it as the second what with the popularity of Pokemon GO. In that case, Instinct. ‘Cause electricity is pretty cool. Favorite colors: Indigo, dark green, gold, and silver (metals count as colors, right? They kind of do in heraldry, so I’ll go with it). Average hours of sleep: I either get too much or too little sleep. Either I sleep for over 10 hours or less than 5. I’d say that probably averages out to 8 or 7 hours, right? See, I’m fine! Hahaha... Lucky numbers: 9. I don’t consider it "lucky", but I do like the number 9. Favorite characters: Solaire of Astora, Laurentius of the Great Swamp, and Marvelous Chester from Dark Souls, Creighton of Mirrah and Mild Mannered Pate from Dark Souls 2, Ostrava of Boletaria and Biorr of the Twin Fangs from Demon’s Souls, and the Doll, Eileen the Crow, and the chapel dweller from Bloodborne. (FromSoft, why you do this to me?) I could go on and name a bunch more characters from a bunch of other games and series, but this is already getting a bit too long for my tastes. Let’s just say I fall for am in love with like a whole lot of characters. What are you wearing right now: A black, long sleeve shirt, my a-size-or-two-too-big black hoodie, some green and red plaid pajama pants, and thick n’ fluffy back socks. How many blankets do you sleep with: One sheet, one comforter, and one blanket. Also two pillows and a pile of stuffed animals. Dream job: Something that I actually enjoy doing. I’m not too picky. Something involving motorsports would be cool (not driving though, that’d be a bit much for me). Also I’ve always thought it would be cool to be a Foley artist (aka: a professional sound effect maker). I’m technically a “professional” prompt sponsor, but I don’t make any money off that, nor do I feel like I need to. Is there a job similar to that where I can make actual money? ‘Cause that sounds like a dream job to me! Dream trip: A train trip across Canada. I’ve talked about it before, but it sounds really nice. I love riding on trains. Maybe a trip to somewhere in Europe? I’m not sure where, but anywhere with good bakeries, a mild climate, lots of history museums, and not too many other tourists would be perfect.

Woo, done! That took a while, but it was a good way to pass half an hour or so (yeah, I write slowly. This is why I don’t write stories. They’d never get done).

As usual, anyone who wants to spend a while doing this tag thing as well is welcome to do so! Consider yourself as good as tagged. (Do I look like I know 20 people? 20 people I know well enough to tag? Haha, that’s a good joke!)

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Love Conquers All

Part 2

Zuko x Male Reader

Word Count: 1643

-----------

The next morning Y/n followed Zuko back down to the kid's campsite. Y/n was half expecting them to have packed up and left, but he was happily proven wrong when they got down there.

The kids were sitting in a half circle, clearly waiting for the two of them to arrive. From the looks of things, they might actually be more open to talking to them today.

A look at the water tribe girl told Y/n that she still had a serious distrust for them that would be annoying to get past.

They approached the group. Y/n held back. He would be on guard for anything they might pull that could hurt Zuko.

"Um, so, you guys have something you want to say?"

Y/n guessed that if you couldn't count on the Avatar to break the ice then the world was doomed.

"Yes. I'm here because I know now that my destiny is to teach the Avatar firebending. I also wanted to say that I'm deeply sorry for all of my actions that have caused you pain or worry. I know that my apology doesn't fix everything, but I hope that it can help pave the way to better relations between us."

Y/n had missed this version of Zuko. He had been buried under so much pain and anguish, and had been desperately trying not to let anyone see it. It was good to have him acting more like himself again, but no amount of royal training was going to remove his awkward manner.

"Why should we believe anything you have to say? You've been chasing us around the world trying to capture Aang and kill us! We shouldn't even be sitting here listening to you!"

That girl was really sticking with her hard-done-by feelings. Y/n was going to have to keep a close eye on her around Zuko.

"Actually," the water tribe boy interjected, "I had a question about that."

He stared into the remains of their fire for a second before looking up at the still standing duo.

"Why didn't you just use your airbending to capture Aang? I mean, it looked like you were holding your own against Katara pretty well. When we first met you could have wiped the floor with us. So why?"

Y/n was surprised. The Water Tribe boy was more perceptive than he had given him credit for.

"It's a secret."

Bless Zuko for trying to take the question for him. Y/n sent a grateful smile his way.

"The Fire Lord has decreed that any airbenders are to be executed. If any are found, it's a death sentence."

Y/n looked around at the appalled faces of the kids. Finally it looked like they were starting to realise what they were involved in.

"How can you side with monsters like that?!"

Y/n turned furious eyes on the opinionated girl.

"I don't side with them! I side with Zuko."

"That isn't any better! So you're saying that if he decided to go back to the Fire Nation tomorrow you would just go with him?"

She was on her feet and flinging her words at him much the same way she had been with water the day before.

She turned back to her friends.

"This is why we can't trust them! I know you want to have someone else who's an airbender Aang, but he won't do the right thing if Zuko doesn't."

She spat Zuko's name like it was a bad word.

Aang turned big eyes on them.

"Would you really go back to them?"

"No."

"You just said----"

"I won't go back to them because Zuko won't. And I stand with him."

Y/n chanced a glance at Zuko only to find him already looking at him. He had that soft smile on his face that had been missing for years. Y/n was so glad that it was back. They reached for each other at the same time, fingers coming together and intertwining easily, familiarly.

There was a surprised intake of breath from the kids in front of them.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Was Y/n's eloquent response.

"Well, that doesn't make it okay to do the wrong thing when you know it's wrong."

She was still lecturing them, but the wind had clearly gone out of her sails.

Y/n managed to pull his eyes away from Zuko and look back at the group.

"We really are on your side this time."

Y/n stilled. The air had shifted in the way that it did when it was trying to warn him of something, becoming electrified. He spun around, scanning their surroundings, trying to locate the problem. He spotted the man up on the cliff just in time to bring his sword up and deflect the wave of energy that he sent at them.

Y/n growled. His timing had been off, resulting in his returned wave being sent off in a different direction.

"You all need to get out of here! If he keeps this up, the whole temple is going to come down."

"Y/n, if you can keep him busy, we can try to find a way to get rid of him!"

The Water Tribe boy was apparently their leader, was Y/n's distracted thought as he stood waiting for the man's next barrage.

If they got out of this alive he was going to smack Zuko upside the head for ever hiring the assassin.

That was probably something that the group of kids didn't need to know about, Y/n thought absently.

He was almost too focused on the long distance fight between the two of them to notice Zuko attempting to distract the assassin from where he stood nearly beside him. When had he gotten over there?

Something whizzed by Y/n's ear and he was so distracted by the thought of Zuko doing something so monumentally stupid as to antagonise the most ruthless assassin in the Fire Nation from a matter of feet away, that he didn't even sense it until he felt the air move by him.

He watched as the boomerang flew true and struck the assassin in the center of his third eye. He felt the world slow down as he saw the man draw in a breath for another wave of energy, but instead of it being sent to where they were standing, it exploded in his face and in the air all around him.

Y/n's heart stopped when the whole side of the temple crumbled and fell. Zuko had still been up there.

His sword fell with a clatter that was muted in his ringing ears. He was over by the side of the temple before he even thought about it, scrambling to find Zuko. If he was gone then that was it.

Y/n felt a thought settle in the front of my mind. He felt a sickening sinking feeling in his stomach, but there was no denying it.

He turned empty eyes on the group who were all celebrating their lucky escape. It was their fault.

He stood at the edge of the temple, watching them, feeling the wind caress him. It was whispering something to him, but he still couldn't hear anything over the adrenaline still coursing through his body.

He took a step toward them, reaching for his sword but coming up empty. His gaze narrowed in on it, lying on the floor back where he had been standing.

He was shaking, he realised as he tried to take another step but found himself on his knees instead.

The wind was growing around him as he fell forward onto his hands. He could feel himself falling apart, but he couldn't seem to pull himself back together. He had always had Zuko for that, but the stupid self-sacrificing idiot had gone and gotten himself blown off the side of the temple.

There was a groan from the ledge Y/n was nearest to. The wind died suddenly.

Y/n turned his tear streaked face sharply in it's direction.

He recognised that voice.

Then he was scrambling once again for the ledge, and grabbing hold of Zuko's arm and pulling with everything he had until he had his idiot firmly in his arms and far enough away from the edge.

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and held Zuko in his still shaking arms. Y/n hoped Zuko was comfortable because he was never letting him go again.

-----------

They had gathered around the fire that someone had restarted to sort out something for lunch.

Y/n had the feeling that his melt down hadn't gone unnoticed by at least one member of the group. When he had gone over to pick up his sword from where he had dropped it, the little blind girl had watched him with her unseeing eyes. He had just sheathed it and walked back over to Zuko's side, but she hadn't stopped watching him ever since.

Y/n was sitting by Zuko's side, too strung out from earlier to be properly on guard, but he was sure that since they had seen him in action they might be a little hesitant to attack so openly.

Once everyone had a bowl of food Sokka cleared his throat. He had an uncomfortable look on his face.

"So."

Y/n waited silently. This was Zuko's destiny, it was up to him to earn his place with the group.

"You know why we're here. Our reasons haven't changed. I think, it comes down to this. Can you trust us?"

"Look," Sokka started, "We don't fully trust you, but I think that's fair. I mean you chased us around the world, but we also saw what you did for us back there. You could have died trying to help. So we're willing to give you a chance. But just one."

Zuko's face lit up with his happiness. It was a sight that Y/n knew he would always enjoy.

"You won't regret this. I promise!"

[certifiedskywalker]

Dating Sam Wilson Would Include...

Here’s some love for our Captain Falcon? Just Falcon? Captain Bird? Sam. Here’s some love for our Sam. 

You wanted revenge. 

When Steve invited you to jog with him, he said that he would keep pace with you.

He was a man of his word, but he didn’t even break a sweat while you were gasping for breath with your burning lungs.

You wanted revenge, and to see Steve sweat.

That was all!

Your return to the National Mall’s park of monuments for a practice jog was your training for that revenge.

It had nothing to do with the handsome, fellow jogger you and Steve had seen before.

When he happened to be there again, you thought you might as say hello to him.

Steve jogged at the crack of dawn each day and this mystery jogger seemed to have the same habit.

Odds were you would see the man again and if you were with Steve, you would want to be able to explain why you were so easily left behind in his dust.

He was easier to catch up with than Steve, though you were breathless by the time he glanced over his shoulder at you.

It took all you had not to stumble over your own feet when his dark eyes met your gaze.

All thoughts and want of revenge were forgotten: it was only you and….him….what was his name?

You needed to know but, talking to him? How could you!? You were already out of breath and he...he was looking at you like...

“You alright?” 

His voice, laden with concern, brought you out of your reverie.

Heat rushed up to your face and, for the first time, you were happy that you were flushed from running.

“Uh, yeah,” you said through little pants of exertion, “sorry...I…”

You were loosing steam, physically and mentally.

You were embarrassed he had caught you staring, a stranger! 

Talk about weird and creepy.

But the man gave you a half smile, a hint of hope that you didn’t royally mess up your chances.

He stopped jogging and, relieved to find an excuse to stop, you followed suit.

“You sure you’re alright?”

“Y-yeah,” you wheezed, “you’re just, you’re fast.”

“Tryin’ to race me then?”

You glanced up at him and nodded, “a race, sure.” 

Your heart beat like a jack hammer; though you weren’t sure if it was because of the running or if you were nervous.

All you did know was that you were light headed and there was a good looking guy standing before you, worried about you despite the weirdness.

When you finally were able to fill your lungs with a decent amount of oxygen, you straightened your posture and met the mystery jogger’s gaze.

“I...do you want to get coffee sometime, or something?”

Had you really just asked that? Right now?

You were about to throw your arm over your face to hide your shame.

Just as you tried to think of other places you and Steve could jog, the man laughed.

It was a heart sound that warmed your chest, and his smile?

You had never seen anything quite like it: wide and pure.

As you shyly met his gaze, you realized it reached his eyes.

“How about water, like right now?”

“Now?”

“Yeah, now.”

The rest was history, simple as that.

He met Steve and Sam became a fixture in your life; and you in his.

Dates became missions and, before long, you shared a room at the Avengers compound.

You and Sam meshed on some silent level, beyond your shared understanding.

He could tell when you were off and you could read him so easily.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Rough day.”

“How about a flight to clear your head,” you suggested, handing him his goggles.

“As long as you’re coming with.”

He holds on to you so tightly as he flies through the city. 

The trust you put in those metal wings to keep you both aloft was otherworldly

But never once did you doubt Sam.

He would never let you down.

Only lovingly embarrass you in front of friends and family. 

When Sam retells the story of how you met to his sister Sarah, years later, he jokes about how he had never seen anyone looked more shocked in his life.

“I’ve been through war and Avengers training, so when I tell you I’ve seen people look like they’re about to shi-”

“Hey! The boys!”

At that same table, you hid your face and shook your head.

“I was scared I was going to creep you out.”

“Oh, you did,” Sam said with that wide, unabashed smile on his face. “But you were charming about it.”

He tells the story of how you met when you meet his family.

He doesn’t tell them about Hydra, about Bucky, or even the danger your jobs put you both in.

Sarah seemed to know it, and Sam’s nephews were too young to understand.

You get to see a side of Sam that he didn’t show the rest of the team.

“It’s funny.”

“What is?” He asked, drying the dishes you had just finished washing.

“They call you ‘Uncle Sam’, like the propaganda cartoon.”

“Cause we work with Captain America?”

“Yeah,” you said, nudging his shoulder with yours. “It’s funny.”

“It’s not, but it’s fun to see you try to be.”

With a gasp, you tossed a handful of soap suds at him. 

White bubbles clung to his shirt and, after he collected himself, Sam looked at you with a playful fight in his eyes.

“Oh, it is so on.”

You both end up covered in suds and cleaning Sarah’s kitchen.

Whenever you and Sam aren’t in New York (for Avengers business) or in D.C. (for state business), you’re at his childhood home in Louisiana.

Sarah and her boys become your little family as you and Sam grow closer.

It’s strange, you’re not sure when you realized you were in love with him 

Though, one night sticks out in your mind.

It was just you and Sam, sitting on the dock, basking in the orange light of the sunset.

“Thanks for coming down here with me. I know our missing person search is important, but I had to-“

“No, I get it,” you rested a hand on his muscled upper arm. “Family first.”

It’s then, when the silence falls over you both, that you realize Sam's staring at you 

And you’re staring at him.

You’re desperate to break the sudden tension so you blurt out your first thought.

It seems that Sam did the same as you both say:

“You’re my family.”

Sam smiles, a soft smile, not the wide grin you loved; though, you loved this expression too.

Without a word, Sam leans in and presses his lips to yours.

He tastes like beer and the brownies Sarah made for dessert.

His hand cups your cheek and your fingers wrap around his wrist, holding his palm to your skin.

The kiss is gentle, though everything Sam did with you was gentle, as if he didn’t want to risk breaking the thing you had built together.

Not that he could break it.

Nothing could, not really. 

When Sam pulled his lips from yours, a smile spread along your face. 

“Plus, I get to see your baby pictures which gives me all the blackmail I could ever want.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“Only a little.”

He kissed you again, harder this time.

“I love you,” Sam mumbled against your lips.

“I love you too.”

Banter is a big part of your relationship.

Sam is always one for teasing and cracking jokes to keep people at arm's length.

But with you, while he still teases, he’s more careful

He’s not afraid to just stay quiet, savor the fleeting moments between missions with you.

During those ‘between times’, you and Sam stay in.

Work, missions, what have you, takes you both across the globe

So, when there’s peace, you both hunker down in the Avenger’s compound or visit his family.

Sam is an early riser due to his past in the military and is always awake before you.

He’s a sucker for breakfast food? 

He’s always making it as you climb out of bed.

“You hungry?”

“Is that-”

“Pancakes.”

When you help him cook, Sam likes to put music on in the background.

You swear he does it on purpose because, when he inevitably starts to dance, he pulls you along with him.

Depending on the music, Sam will hold you close, sway with you in his arms, or shimmies around the kitchen until you become a giggling mess.

“Join me! You know you want to!”

“The food is going to burn!”

“Sure is! Now dance with me, baby!”

How could you not when he gave you that smile of his?

When things started to grow more heated, after Ultron, after Sokovia, your kitchen dance parties became rare.

You stayed with Sam, sided with Steve and you both paid the price for it.

It was only a few days before Steve came to save you all from the Raft but it was pure torture.

You were in the cell across from Sam, watching him pace the floor and tense up with anger.

The moment you were freed, you ran to him.

Being on the run with Sam added a new layer to your relationship.

It didn’t come without its challenges as being a wanted criminal was easy on no one.

There were nights where you and Sam would sleep with your backs to each other.

It was the stress of running that crippled you both on those nights, made everything, every worry and doubt, difficult to talk about. 

But it was also running that brought you together, that kept you together too.

You and Sam would run to the rescue of some poor souls

And promptly run back to each other. 

When Steve wasn’t around to keep you both in check, you and Sam would explore whatever country you found yourselves in.

Trying all sorts of different foods with him.

“What is that?”

“Delicious, so, does it really matter?”

Late night flights under the stars and holding each other close in the quinjet.

Then...Thanos…

And, despite all his carefulness and his holding you close, Sam was gone

For five years, you had no one to run with or to

You stayed with Natasha in the Avenger’s compound and tried to help Sarah with the house and her boys.

Whenever you went to Louisiana, you came back in tears.

“You don’t have to go back, you know,” Sarah said one time. “You’re always welcome here, Y/N. You’re family.”

It took all you had left of your strength to not break down in her living room, to not cry clinging to an old photograph of Sam in a baseball uniform.

“That’s why I need to go back,” you whimpered, “so we can try to get him back to us. His family.”

It’s a misty-eyed flight home.

Flying is not the same without Sam; the sky is emptier.

It felt like the thing, the love you had built together was about to break when Scott rolled up to the door of the Avenger’s compound with his ‘time heist’ in hand.

It gave you hope and, eventually, it gave you Sam back too.

“It’s been five years right? You haven’t aged a day.”

His joke brings you to happy tears before you fall into his arms, caked with grime from the battle. 

“I got you, I got you.”

After Tony and Steve’s strange send off, you and Sam took a stay-cation. 

Most of the time, you two stayed in bed, unwilling to let the other go in case something tried to snap reality in half again.

“I don’t know what he wants me to do with it,” he says, eyeing the bagged up shield propped up against your bedroom wall. 

“You know,” you replied, lifting your head from his chest to look into his eyes. “He wants you to keep fighting. Be ‘Uncle Sam’.”

“It’s still not funny.” 

You shake your head at him before leaning down to kiss him.

You’re careful, just as he was all those years ago on the dock. 

When you pull away, you explain, “it’s not meant to be.”

Sam smiles at you, that same wide, pure smile that won you over the day you first met.

No matter what happens next, you know that, as long as you can see that smile, you’ll make it to fight another day.

[fossntwriter]

Don’t Look Down

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: you’re in the elevator in the Washington monument when it malfunctions

You sighed, checking your phone one last time for a message from Peter that might tell you anything about where he is before putting it in the bucket with all your other belongings. Nothing. You chucked it in the plastic bin with your backpack as it got scanned by the security guards who worked at the Washington Monument.

Under other circumstances, you would be really excited to be doing this tour with your team. But after Peter suddenly left without telling you why or where he was going, you just were worried about him and a little angry.

“You okay (y/n)?” You snapped out of your thoughts of Peter, looking to meet Liz’s concerned face, “You seem a little down today.”

“Oh yeah, I’m fine, I promise.” You offered her a small smile, trying to convince her that you were fine. “Just a little tired is all.”

She nodded, “Well we just won Nationals! Cheer up! This will be fun!” She grabbed your arm, smiling as she guided you with her to the elevator that you and the rest of your team would take to the top of the monument.

You genuinely smiled at how caring Liz was. She always tried to keep everyone happy and you appreciated it.

The elevator closed after your guide stepped in. She introduced herself, starting to explain just a little bit about the Washington Monument. Moments after she finished her introduction, she hit the ‘up arrow’ button on the dashboard of the elevator and you all started moving up.

You and Liz payed close attention to the guide as she explained all about the monument, it’s history, significance and all the fun details about it. The tour actually did start to lift your mood, you were a junkie for history and doing a tour of one of the most significant monuments in all of America with your friends was something that helped take your mind off the fact that Peter mysteriously left.

Climbing to the top of the monument, the elevator jolted and everyone inside stumbled a little, trying to catch their balance after the surprise stop.

“What’s going on?” Your teacher, Mr.Harrington, asked the guide obviously concerned and skeptical.

“Everybody stay calm please,” the guide tried shouting over the panic that consumed you and your teammates, “This sort of thing happens all the time, I can assure you that all will be fine!”

With that, she opened the emergency latch and a panel slid open in the roof of the elevator. She pulled herself out of the metal compartment and onto the top of it.

“There’s a floor we can stay on right here,” she called down, “We will lift everyone out one at a time and we’ll wait here for help.”

Everyone nodded, and rushed towards the hole in the top as they tried to be the first one out of the stopped elevator.

“Me first! Me first!” Flash shouted as he crammed his way to the center of the crowd of students wanting to get out. He held up the trophy from Academic Decathlon, and beckoned the tour guide to take it and help him up after.

You rolled your eyes at the scaredy cat nature of the guy who always talked highly of himself.

You and Liz, being the caring students you were, helped lift everybody else out of the elevator before you became concerned with yourselves. You would rather your friends got out safely, if anything happened to them and not you, you would feel guilty and responsible.

After lots of lifting and teamwork, all who were left in the elevator were you, Liz, and Ned.

“Liz, you next.” You said, wanting your best friend out of the elevator.

She gave you a look that said she wanted you to go next instead of her, but before she could say so, you interrupted, “please.”

Reading the concern in your face, she nodded. Just as you and Ned were getting ready to lift Liz up, the elevator jolted again and this time you were falling. The three of you screamed as the elevator started falling fast.

Seconds later, when you were least expecting it, the elevator stopped abruptly, sending the three of you to the floor hard. After the shock of not dying, you groaned, as did the others, and got up.

Looking through the hole in the top of the elevator, you were surprised to see Spider-Man holding you three and the elevator up with one of his webs. He looked way smaller in person than on TV.

“Yes!” Ned shouted, jumping up and down causing the elevator to creak with the added pressure.

“Woah, woah, woah, woah!” Spider-Man shouted, struggling to hold onto the elevator when Ned jumped, “Hey big guy! Stop jumping.”

Ned immediately stopped, “Sorry, I’m just happy you’re here.”

You nodded in agreement, relief flowing through you at Spider-Man’s appearance. You were so relieved you didn’t even realize how coincidental it was that the New York super hero happened to be in Washington DC at the time your team needed him.

“Okay, there’s an open floor here, I can get you all up here and safe.” He explained.

“Ned, then Liz, and then me.” You instructed the other two in the elevator who hesitantly agreed, just wanting to get out, not risking another near death experience.

Spider-Man used multiple webs to web the elevator to the wall, so it would be supported while he got the three of you out.

He reached down through the hole and grabbed onto Ned, lifting him out of the elevator in minutes. His strength was impressive, making it look effortless to lift Ned out. He wasn’t even out of breath moments later when he showed up again to take the next person.

“Liz, your turn.” You told her motioning for her to take his hand.

She nodded, worried etched into her face for you considering you would still be in the elevator after she was out.

“I’ll be okay.” You reassured her before she took Spider-Man’s hand and he hoisted her out of the metal container and brought her to the next floor, where Ned was waiting.

You only had to wait for a minute until you saw the man clad in the red and blue costume come back down for you.

“Ready?” He asked you, with a voice that sounded a little familiar. However, you didn’t concern yourself with his voice at the moment, more worried about the two of you getting out and not falling to an early death.

You nodded, and just as he was about to take your hand and lift you out, the webs holding the elevator snapped and you were falling again. You shrieked, closing your eyes as you fell at an alarmingly fast rate.

Just as you thought it was over for you, something gross wrapped around your hand and the elevator kept falling while you seemed to be frozen in mid air. You had gone right through the hole in the top. You saw a white web stuck to your hand. Following along the web you saw Spider-Man holding it, and holding onto another web with his other hand that was attached to the floor where Ned and Liz where waiting.

“I got you.” Spider-Man soothed you as your body shook with hard breaths, tears sliding down your face at the stress of the situation. You looked down as the elevator hit the floor of the shaft with an ear-deafening crash. The blood in your veins ran cold at seeing how high you were dangling in the air, being held up by only a single web.

“Hey, hey,” he called your attention back to him. “Look at me okay? Don’t look down.”

You nodded, holding eye contact with his wide masked eyes. He started pulling you up to him. You let him. Even though you didn’t know the man behind the mask, you trusted him with your life. Not that you really had a choice right now, but if it came down to it, you would trust him no matter what.

When he pulled you up to him, you grabbed onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“A-Are you okay?” He asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I- I think so.” You stuttered out, still afraid of falling, although you knew you were completely safe with him.

“Good,” He breathed out, “I’m going to pull us up now.” You nodded at his plan, holding onto him tightly.

Keeping your face buried in his shoulder and neck, you let him pull the two of you up to the nearest floor where you knew you’d finally be safe for the first time in what? Ten minutes? Twenty?

A couple of minutes later, your feet hit solid ground and you looked up. You were on the same floor as Ned and Liz, but you saw your Decathlon teammates, teacher and tour guide rushing down the stairs from a couple floors above.

You were immediately bombarded with questions, people frantically wondering if you were okay and what it was like to be that close to Spider-Man.

You assured them that you were fine, just a little shaken is all. After a couple minutes of catching your breath and reassuring your friends, you turned to Spider-Man, wanting to thank him.

But he was gone. You looked out the window and saw him webbing from building to building as he gracefully went to wherever he was needed next.

[rhaenyraisadyke]

A Year Later Transcript: 8/3/21

Here it all is on a google doc if that is easier to read!

W: “I heard there was a special place.. Where men could go and emancipate.. The brutality and the tyranny of their rulers…” Do you know that one Ranboo?

R: I have I have I have, I’ve heard that one a few times, I had a friend that sings that one quite a lot.

W: Yeah it's great, I- I personally, I am a big big fan of the song and not just because I wrote it, I know, I know they saw aww yeah they say you are your own worst critic, but I mean, I think it's good. Do you know what it's based on?

R: Mhm mhm

W: Obviously it's based on hallelujah, but the thing is Ranboo, right is the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing hallelujah to the plants around the thing... the caravan! Do you remember the caravan? You have heard of the caravan right?

R: Yeah, yeah I’ve heard of it and seen the re-creation of it at the museum, but that's really it.

W: Actually can we go see it? Let's go see it quickly!

R: Yeah, sure.

W: So, so, he used to plant the stuff around the caravan, and it made it grow better, he hehe used to ha, my man Tommy, what is this? This is new.. I won’t ask questions…

R: I- Someone planted a lot of beats here and I don’t know why

W: OH, okay I quite like it, it looks really nice, it looks nicer than the target that used to be here. Um

R: Yeah

W: So my man Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better um and that was the song he used to sing so I thought what a better way to honor tommy, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation then to name the song after him and base the song after his little muse. Tommy is all of our muse really, I'd say. So here's the museum.

R: Yeah, Yeah

W: I haven't been to the museum, wait las- that's where I met you Ranboo right?

R: Oh yeah yeah, that's where you saw me next to the um poster of myself… I don't know why that's still up, I kinda put that there and it preceded to stay there, is it still set up? Oh, oh no.

W: It’s not still up anymore it was here, it was right here on this wall. I quite liked it, but I guess not enough for it to be history though.

R: I’m not historical yet apparently.

W: So yeah in here, in here where the declaration of independence would sit on the wall here, it was actually quite, quite a nice van, not quite as nice as yours, I quite liked what you were doing with yours. Have you been working on it since I’ve been gone?

R: Yeah I’ve been working on it. I added a nice little table outside and did some pathways and appropriately themed flowers.

W: Thats nice

R: Yeah!

W: Let's go to Lmanburg or what was lmanburg, last time I saw it was a big glass thing.

R: Yeah I think it goes by Lmanhole now apparently.

W: Ahh ehh, that's kind of rude, it's kind of rude to Lmanburgs history you know?

R: mhm

W: It’s called Lmanburg, it's called Lmanburg. NOT Manberg NOT Lcrater or whatever, Lmanhole I don’t care it's now Lmanburg it's always Lmanburg. It’s just how it goes.

R: Okay

W: Yeah so that's why the song exists as it is. Oh there's no glass.

R: Yeah! Yeah I mean it seems to have changed a little bit.

W: YOOOO I actually didn’t know this was here

R: Yeah! It’s even got the flag down there at the bottom

W: It’s got the flag man! Can we go down and see the flag? Cmon Cmon lets go

R: Yeah yeah wait you alright?

W: I’m like a lemming I don’t care I’m just gonna jump

R: Oh well okay… careful!

W: Look at this dude!

R: Yeahh

W: Oh wow I really went down to bedrock didn't I? Holy Shit.. I did a number on this place. This is amazing!! Ahhh This is what it deserved, not the glass bullshit, this is what it needed, this like beautiful overgrowing, it feels like it happened, it doesn't feel like a monument, it feels like nature has claimed it back,

R: The book has kind of closed in that sense

W: Yeah.. we’ve got, look they have got they rebuilt the lake man! And this used to be a real river about here into Lmanburg- wait, Ranboo do you see that is that Tubbo?

R: Yeah… that's Tubbo

W: Aye Tubbo!

T: “I heard there was a special place where men could go and emancipate…”

W: Tubbo?

T: “ the tyranny” - oh?

W: Tubbo!

T: Hello?

W: Haha! You’ve came, I- I havent seen you dude in FUCKING ages! Tubbo, are you singing the song?

T: Yeah… Yeahhh?

W: Are you? Are you singing the thing?

T: Yeah hello?

W: Hold on I’m coming im coming im coming man

T: Where are you?

W: Hold on, I'm coming around, here I come, Tubbo man! I haven't seen you in ages!

T: H-H..Hello.. Wilbur..

W: I’m coming around man!

T: Yeah aha…

W: Bro! Its-

T: Weird seeing you here.

W: What in Lmanburg? That seems like the most normal place to see me.

T: Uhh yeah I suppose so

W: Well I- dude I don’t even know what to say to you man, it's like looking in a little mirror, you are even still wearing my suit still?

T: Yeahh

W: How long have you been wearing that?

T: Oh I just put it on for today, I just for it's been a year now…

W: Well you look good in it! Ranboo have you met Tubbo?

R: Yeah! Well I’ve I’ve met him, I mean we’ve um… been around yeah

W: Well Tubbo I’m really happy to see you man, dude

T: Ah, well thank you.

W: Do you even know what happened? Since,

T: What do you mean what's happened?

W: I saw you briefly man when I was resurrected, I remember you SUPER SUPER briefly but this is the first time we have actually gotten to speak, I- I will admit I was a little overwhelmed during that whole thing. I was running across the glass, thank god it's gone, this is far more adpt, but I was running across the glass, I’m sorry I wasn't you know, entirely on the same page, but I promise you I’ve calmed down I’m all settled in, I understand what's changed, what's happened whos new, whos old whos still about who uh…. Who trusts me and stuff

T: Did they fill you in on the story? Like what happened here after you died?

W: Yeah, they did, I’m gonna be honest with you it's not a pretty one, I kind of left a bit of a ripple. If I was a rock, dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock

T: You- yeah’

W: And I can’t say I’m not- I’m not flattered. I mean I am flattered, I’m not TOO upset about it, I like being the big ripple, but more than anything, I want to say super simple man. I want to say. I want to say I’m sorry

T: Awe

W: For one thing mainly, I’ve been thinking about this for years, LITERAL years. I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole,

T: Well I mean-

W: and making you president of a crater and i'm sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am

T: I mean this wasnt all you Wilbur….

W: We’ll get to that, do you? Do you forgive me?

T: Yeah, I do forgive you

W: Man, ahhh my little treasury, secretary treasury, do you remember that?

T: Yeah yeah I remember that. Secretary to treasury

W: Ranboo he was the secretary to treasury and then he was president

R: Yeah

W: And then he was president

T: Yeah I’m pretty sure the treasury was like somewhere there.

W: So what were you saying about me not being the one there who blew it up?

T: Well I mean you definitely blew it up. I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

W: Wait, so you rebuilt it? How long -how long did it stand before this happened?

T: Yeah so, me, and mainly ghostbur honestly like

W: ….ghostbur….

T: He- put so much effort into making it right again.

W: Is he this obsidian crap I take it and these uh? Fucking lanterns

T: You know dream?

W: Yeah I know Dream- I love him. Dream’s Dreams

T: Oh..

W: Dreams probably my favorite person, sorry Ranboo i mean uh no contest here, Dreams probably my favorite person he saved me

T: Oh.. Oh..

W: He saved me he brought me back to life

T: Well um yeah I mean he was powerful I guess but um Techno and Philza yeah um

W: Techno and Phil blew this up?

T: They built this big obsidian contraption overnight… I couldn’t even see it coming. And they rained TNT for days.

W: nhh

R: Yeah…

W: And that's.. Wait hold on, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil blow up Lmanburg? Didn’t they live here? I mean I don’t know about Techno…

T: Techno and Phil, they hated the government, it was partially my fault as well…

W: But you didn’t blow it up

T: No, I didn't. I never wished for anything to happen like this.

W: So it was just Techno and Phil?

T: Y-y yes..

W: Sorry that's kind of just hit my not the blowing up part- You know I’ve done that,

T: Yeah

W: I’m not shaken up about that. I’m shaken up about man, is that, you rebuilt this! After I was gone

T: I can’t take all the credit obviously but there was a big effort

W: That fucking ghost- who cares man YOU rebuilt this! Bro, you

T: Yeah I suppose

W: MY fucking grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave, screw a grave I built something that you loved that YOU wanted to preserve… thats,

T: Yeah, I really honestly…

W: Tubbo that's worth more to me than a grave. That's worth more to me than this shrine. That's worth more to me then- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I have ever been given, this knowledge that people actually cared enough, that you cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

T: Ahh, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: You… haha, sorry, aww man, Tubbo thank you.

T: It’s alright, I just feel lost without Lmanburg. All my core beliefs.. Everything died with it.

W: You feel lost without Lmanburg

T: I have no purpose.. Anymore.

W: I guess that's where anarchy fails… Tubbo, I have a little, a little thing coming. Not big, nothing much yet, ehh, it's not a big deal you know, it's a little burger van at the moment but I got plans, big plans. Tubbo it's called paradise

T: Paradise.

W: Yeah, yeah will, would you like to come join me in paradise? Literally?

T: Hmmmm, Id, I’m not sure Wilbur, I’m not sure I trust you man. In order to follow someone I need to trust them.

W: Wait… wait- but I thought you forgave me!

T: Yeah Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people change but, I don’t trust you yet Wilbur.

W: Okay… Taboo. I literally was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn't long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you but thirteen years Tubbo… Thirteen years of my life. I am old! Look at me! I’m not the same young man you knew. I-I’ve been through it and in those years, I’ve learned Tubbo, i wasn't just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “oooh this is nice ohhh i'm in darkness right now” you know I was thinking. I relived that explosion in my head so many times man, and I get that you don’t trust me, I do but like man! Look at me bro, I’m not gonna do it again, I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna you know… I know you, you had the festival with Technoblade, I never spoke properly to you about this.

T: mm

W: I could have saved you…

T: But you didn’t

W: I- Tubbo… I’m reaching out to you man, I’m on my knees.. I, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry and I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesnt give up what I did to you and it doesnt give up how I failed you as a friend, you know eh, fuck being as a coworker but just you know anything… Ranboo you might know or have known all of this and I’m really sorry if this was your first of hearing I can explain later on but like..

R: Alright………

W: Tubbo, man, I’m, I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate you don’t trust me. I do.

T: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to, but I just, I just can’t.

W: Tubbo… I really appreciate it, and I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it and I am gonna go out and prove to you I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.

T: Okay…

W: I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself and you'll.. Youll

T: Do you know I still have dreams right? Of the explosion… And, and of the fireworks. And all of it. I vividly see all of it every day. It HURTS. It hurts Wilbur a lot.

W: I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo Tubbo, please, I know…. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I- arhh It feels like sorry is such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna make something. I'm gonna make something of this and I’m gonna…

Uhhhh

Tubbo do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not trying to say - I’ve got your forgiveness, but I know I need to earn your trust but man… you're so strong man, genuinely. Just the fact you proved to me that just there that you have these memories and these nightmares, you still found it in your heart to forgive me, that's... You’re a fucking champion man. You’re a hero.

Look I get you don’t want to join me in paradise. We won’t talk about that anymore but, cmon, at least come and see, come and at least see what me and Ranboo have been doing! Look I don’t know- Ranboo are you? Are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like good friends?

R: Yeah, yeah I’d say so.

W: Then why don't you and him come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on! Lets go lets go!

T: I think.. I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m fine, just to stay here.

W: No, no man, no worries. Look at me bro look at me bro! Chin up! Look, lucky rabbit's foot!

T: Okay…

W: Tommy gave it to me

T: Lucky Rabbit's foot…

W: Lucky Rabbit's foot man, chin up. Ranboo, I’ll, you can come, it's cool.

R: I will, I will. Do you need me to stay here?

T: No.. *sniffles* I’d like to be left alone please

R: Oh… you sure? I mean.. I can stay…

T: Yes. I’m fine

R:You sure? Okay...

W: Ranboo! Let's go man.

R: Yep! Lets- lets go

W: Cya tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

T: Uhuh

W: Comeon Ranboo

R: Alright

W: Ah man! It’s its I mean I I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it's hard, I’ve -

R: It is, it is

W: It's difficult man and I’ve been you know it's gonna get better and it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone… Do you know who the original Lmanburg group were? Do you know who we were?

R: Ah, uhh I think most of them yeah, I think it was you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well

W: Fundy was after, Fundy was a bit after we got independence

R: mhm yeah I don’t really. I don’t really know much of lmanburg history

W: That’s alright you’ve got it down, it's correct. It’s that group and we um yeah we fought against Dream and we managed to succeed and we created a life process. Ranboo I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone, I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh people to use it against me is the main problem. I didn’t even tell Tommy. I- I lied to Tommy I’m gonna be honest. I’ll tell him soon

R: Yeah

W: I’ll tell him I lied to him because I feel- it kind of eats away at me. I kind of- I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about Lmanburg and that it was actually a tool for me to get and gain power and stuff but it's not true. Lmanburg was really important to me and it is still to this day. I want it, I want its history to live on, not as a stain caused by me because I basically took a bit shit on the history books. I wanna, I wanna make it feel like it was you know something that happened and it was a great thing. Think of the good times, the years and years well not years but you know the time of safety the time of fun, prosperity! We built parks, we built you know, no taxes, big walls, we had democracy! All be a slightly disjointed version of it but you know, that's how people should remember Lmanburg, that's what people think of when they think of our nation you know? And that's, and Tubbos the last connection we really have, I mean he, he said it himself, he's kind of you know… he's got nothing without it. I’ve heard of what Tommy, Tommys you know moved on and Jacks moved on and Niki’s moved on and everyones moved on at least partially… but Tubbo man, he's still……

R: Yeah he's still very strung up about it even though it's been awhile… He, he distracts himself with projects and everything which is nice but, you

W: Heh, projects

R: I mean yeah fortifications as well

W: I think he's gonna be alright

R: I hope so

W: I’m looking out for him. Anyway I want to say thank you Ranboo for you know trusting me this quick, I mean you barely know me

R: I mean, yeah

W: You barely have known me very long and you just know you’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I- you know I don’t I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man. T-Tommy’s great and all he's here and all but I don't wanna string him along too much because hes- I, when I look at him, when I look at him and he's helping me out and building things with me, I - I see the same eyes that looked at me when… when… there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia I wasn't a very well man, and I can just see Tommy from that day…

oH!! Ranboo! This looks great man!

R: Yeah yea, I’ve made a couple of um changes to it. Added some stuff to it

W: Like I was saying though, I appreciate it, I really appreciate it.

R: Yeahh, yeah of course! Of course

W: May I ask, I know I’ve already asked this before but why do you trust me so fast? What's the…?

R: I mean I like to normally see the good in people and everything.

W: I know we’ve gone through that and you’ve made me cry just

R: Yeahhh, sorry about that, but I- I think the reason I think I know what it's like to have no one hurt or at least feel like no one trusts you.

W: Mhm

R: Um, and I- I’ve realised that if no one is with you, then how can anyone really know when you’ve redeemed yourself. So that's why I’m here

W: You wanna see the fireworks?

R: Well maybe not the fireworks but, I mean at least

W: Ceremonial

R: At least when you change er redeem yourself I think it- it's good to have someone there and it's not nice to be alone all the time so…

W: My boy! Ranboo, I knew

R: Yeah!

W: I knew I could trust you. We got the exact same mindset I’m thinking of ahh Ranboo I love what you have done with the burger van

R: Thank you, I’m glad you like it

W: I think this is going to be a beginning of a beautiful partnership,

R: Yeah!

W:beautiful friendship, and maybe when Tubbo comes we can you know have a big party and all get to know each other a bit better.

R: Yeah I can, I can talk with him I think and maybe get him to uh join hopefully

W: Yeah, don’t pressure him. He doesn't have to join, he just needs to come. I just want him to come and see our patented burgers!

R: Yeah!

W: Our burgers, our burger NFTS he needs to come and try them! Ranboo. Thank you man

R: You’re welcome, I’m glad that I could help out a little bit at least.

W: You’re a brilliant man and I'm going to go now a happy man.

R: That's good, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: Thank you Ranboo. Buh Bye. Ah, I love that guy bro!

[silhouetteofacedar]

Impersonal, Ch. 7

Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, Rated E

The game had ended and he wasn’t surprised.

He expected this. He prepared himself all day Saturday by running six miles, jacking off twice, and mopping his entire apartment. He didn’t even own a mop; he actually went out and bought one. By the time Sunday morning rolled around he was ready for the inevitable collapse of their precarious sexual arrangement and greeted Scully with aplomb.

And then she paid for breakfast.

That was unexpected. When the FBI wasn’t footing the bill, they usually split the tab, or threw a “you can get the next one” down on the table alongside crumpled bills.

He had been joking about it being a date, but then she paid. And it meant something. Her big blue eyes pinned him to the booth, had him trapped and squirming like an insect on a card as she laid a hand over the check. “I’ve got it,” she said, and his senses were suddenly ignited. He could feel thick sunshine pouring over them, lighting up Scully’s hair like a smudge of cinnamon. Her lips looked so sweet and soft, and the very idea that he might never feel them again stole his breath. He felt dry and empty, a desiccated housefly body lying on a windowsill.

He thanked her for breakfast, and his throat was lined with dust.

Their parting was weird. Hinting that he was still available to her was an insane risk, and she turned it into a joke about Frohike. Unless she actually thought he was the one joking about Frohike, which he has to admit wouldn’t be out of character for him.

He’s tired of joking, tired of hiding, tired of dancing around his intentions. Tired of wanting and not asking, tired of being in his own damn way.

Scully has given him a graceful exit, a neatly drawn map back to their pre-sex starting point. And not for the first time, Mulder wads up the map and tosses it aside. Scully made her move; it was time for him do the same.

What that move would be, he has no idea.

It takes him eleven days. No wonder Scully took matters into her own hands the first time around. Inspiration strikes him during his drive from Alexandria to D.C. the next Thursday morning, when he crosses the Potomac and gets a glimpse of faraway blossoms.

He waits until 4:47 that afternoon to say anything.

“Hey Scully, you doing anything tonight?” he asks, rifling through a stack of papers as though he’s attending to FBI business and not trying to work up courage like a schoolboy.

Her glossy red head is bent over a file, pen at her lip. “Besides folding an obscenely large pile of laundry, my schedule seems fairly empty,” she replies. She looks up at him suspiciously. “Why, Mulder?”

“No reason, really. There’s just something I wanted to show you, get your opinion on.”

“Is it related to a case?”

He opens a desk drawer, pretending to look for something. “Well it could be a totally natural phenomenon, but who can say for certain without proper investigation?”

Scully sighs. “Fine, I’ll bite. And speaking of bites, I’m starving. If we’re going to work off the clock, can we at least eat?”

“Wanna stop for Chinese? We can take it with us. We’re not going far, the food should still be hot when we get to our secondary location.”

They take Mulder’s car, picking up several cartons of food from a restaurant in Chinatown a few blocks up from the Hoover building before making their way towards the National Mall. Mulder parks in the lot near the Washington Monument.

“You weren’t kidding when you said we weren’t going far,” Scully says, gathering up the bag of takeout. “What exactly are we looking for?”

“That,” he replies, pointing ahead.

Hundreds of cherry trees line the Tidal Basin, their leaves almost entirely obscured by tufts of blossoms. Scully steps onto the path, open-mouthed.

“Oh my god,” she murmurs.

Mulder shoves his hands in his pockets. “Pretty fantastic, huh?”

“Mulder,” she says in awe, looking sideways at him, “What are we doing here?”

He shrugs. “I just wanted to see them.”

“At night?”

“Daylight’s for tourists, Scully.”

———

They’re sitting on the damp grass, endeavoring to split the last egg roll using only their dueling pairs of chopsticks.

“This is impossible, Scully. I’m going to use my hands.”

“Then I definitely don’t want the other half,” she says.

“Are you implying something about my hygiene?”

“I’ve seen some of the places your hands have been, Mulder.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at her, and she rolls her eyes.

“Not what I meant,” she says softly. “But the point still stands.”

Mulder lays back on the lawn, his long coat fanning wide. Scully pulls an edge of it towards her, scoots closer so she can rest her pantyhose-clad calves on it instead of the grass.

“I’ve always preferred the blossoms at night,” he says. “There’s something ghostly about them, all pink and white against the dark sky. Not an ominous kind of ghostly, however; if good spirits exist, I think they’d look like these trees. You know most early European religions feature some sort of reverence for trees or forests, whether as spiritual gathering places or deities themselves-“

“Mulder.”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to eat that egg roll, or can I have it?”

He passes her the carton. “And-”

“Why did you bring me here, Mulder?”

He glances at her and is surprised to see a tenderness in her eyes. His gaze returns to the branches above.

“I just figured I owe you a nice trip to a forest, and this one won’t require any paperwork.”

Scully smiles. “That’s a very considerate choice, Mulder, especially since I’m always the one doing said paperwork.”

“You’re more succinct and readable than I am, apparently. And Skinner clearly likes you better.”

“Didn’t you punch him in the face once?”

“That’s beside the point. I think he has a bit of a crush on you, Scully.”

She rolls her eyes. “What?” Mulder asks.

“I just… it’s nothing, It’s been a long day. And it’s cold out here.”

Mulder sits up and withdraws his arms from the sleeves of his overcoat.

“No- Mulder, don’t, I’m fine.”

“Move your legs,” he instructs, pulling the edge of the coat out from under her. He stands and drapes it around her shoulders before plopping back down on the grass next to her.

“Thanks,” she says. “Still, it’s getting late.”

He glances at his watch. “It’s seven-thirty on a Thursday. You got somewhere to be?” His arm bumps her shoulder companionably. “Come on, just a little longer. Maybe we’ll see something unidentified in the sky.”

He grins at her and the corner of her mouth twitches in reply. “Well, I guess I don’t have a choice,” she sighs. “You drove us here.”

He feels a slight increase of pressure against his arm and realizes that Scully is ever so slightly leaning into him. A gentle warmth glows in his belly, and he glances sidelong at her.

I’m a lucky son of a bitch, he thinks.

“How so?” Scully asks.

Oh. He said it out loud. He clears his throat, tries to steer his thoughts back into safer waters.

“Well, for one thing, I’m not dead,” he says. “Not for lack of trying.”

Scully nods solemnly.

“I’ve seen incredible things, things people spend their whole lives looking for, hoping for, believing in. I’ve tasted proof, held the truth in my hands. And in spite of everything, I’m still here. We’re still here. That’s pretty goddamn lucky.”

“I don’t feel very lucky,” Scully says softly. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve fucked up every good thing I’ve ever had a chance at. My father certainly thought so, at least for a long time.”

They sit silently for a moment. “Without you, I’d be long dead,” Mulder admits.

“I know,” Scully replies. “I’m always awed by your resilience, actually. I can’t take all the credit for your continued survival.”

“Yeah, you can,” he says, getting to his feet and dusting stray blades of grass off his slacks. He holds out a hand and helps her to her feet. Her fingers are cool against his palm, and he wonders if she’d notice if he didn’t let go. Probably.

He wants to pull her in by the lapels of his coat, gather her to his chest, hold her for no reason other than he can. Kiss her brow, smell her hair, feel her small hands sliding under his suit jacket. He wants her just as she is, for exactly who she is.

But he’s a chickenshit, so instead he just walks beside her along the Tidal Basin, under the cherry blossoms, and doesn’t hold her hand.

They spend the five minute drive back to the Bureau in comfortable silence. Scully leans her head against the car window, and Mulder briefly wonders if she’ll fall asleep. He loves when she nods off while he’s driving; it makes him feel safe. She makes him feel safe.

He parks a few spots away from her car in the Bureau parking garage, turns off the engine. Scully gathers up her briefcase, leaving Mulder’s coat draped open on the passenger seat.

“Why are you getting out?” she asks, seeing Mulder unbuckling his seatbelt.

“I need a file from the office,” he lies. He exits the car and goes around to her side. “I’ll walk you to your door, it’s on my way.”

It’s twenty feet from her car to his. “Thank you, Mulder,” Scully says sardonically, fishing her keys out of her coat pocket. “If I weren’t armed, that would have been very thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he replies. He takes a step forward.

“What are you doing?” Scully asks, one hand on her car door, keys in the other.

“Nothing,” he replies quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” God, she’s so small, this could so easily go wrong-

He pitches forward, bending down, and presses his lips to the fullness of her cheek. His nose brushes the soft skin under her eye and he inhales sharply, drawing back.

They blink at each other. “Bye,” Mulder offers.

Scully nods. “Yes. Goodnight.” She glances to the elevators. “Was there actually a file you needed?”

He just looks at her, and she presses her lips together in understanding. “Right. Well, I’m leaving, so… see you tomorrow then.”

Right. Despite recent events, the earth was still spinning.

Later, when he hangs his overcoat, he notices the faintest scent of her shampoo on the collar.

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn’t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn��t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

[arcaneglitch]

Transcript of Wilbur's latest lore stream: A Year Later

Note: This doesn't include the parts at the beginning and very end of the stream

It starts with Wilbur and Ranboo going to L'Manberg and ends with Wilbur talking about Pogtopia

Wilbur: Anyway, I’m excited. Let’s go to L’Manberg. Let’s go- oh to what was L’Manberg. It’s just a big glass thing now, isn’t it?

Ranboo: Yeah, yeah.

Wilbur: So let’s go and see it.

Ranboo: It goes by like “L’Manhole” now, apparently.

Wilbur: I’m not a fan. It’s kind of rude to L’Manberg’s history, you know?

Ranboo: Mhm.

Wilbur: It’s- um it’s called L’Manberg. It’s called L’Manberg. Not “Manburg”, not “L’Crater” or whatever… “L’Manhole”. I don’t care. It’s now L’Manberg. It’s always L’Manberg, ok. That’s just how it goes. But um, yeah. So that’s why- that’s why the song exists as it is and… oh there’s no glass.

Ranboo: Yeah, yeah. Seems to have changed a little bit.

Wilbur: Yooo! I actually didn’t know this was here!

Ranboo: Yeah! Yeah it’s even got the flag down there.

Wilbur: Oh it’s got the flag! Man, can we go down and see the flag? C’mon c’mon c’mon!

Ranboo: Yeah.

Wilbur: Get me down. Get me down there. (laughing) Shit I’m struggling to climb. I’m like a lemming! No I don’t care, I’m just gonna jump.

Ranboo: Oh ok. Careful.

Wilbur: Look at this, dude! Damn…

Ranboo: Yeah!

Wilbur: I really went down to bedrock, didn’t I? Holy shit I did- I did a number on this place. This is amazing!

Ranboo: Yeah.

Wilbur: Ahh! This is- see this is- this is what they deserve. Not that glass bullshit, you know? This is what it needed. It needed this like- this like beautiful overgrown like- it feels like- it feels like it happened now, you know? It doesn’t just feel like “oh yeah it’s a monument.” It feels like this- the you know, nature’s claimed it back and this is the world.

Ranboo: Yeah the- the book has kind of closed in a sense.

Wilbur: Yeah. Oh it got a la- oh look they’ve re- they’ve rebuilt the lake, man. And look they made the lake flow into like- this used to be real. This was a real river that connected about here into l- Is that… do you see that, Ranboo? Is that- is that Tubbo?

Ranboo: Oh yeah that’s Tubbo.

Wilbur: Hey Tubbo!

Tubbo, tearfully singing and playing piano: I heard there was a special place. Where men could go and emancipate-

Wilbur: Tubbo?

Tubbo: The tyranny- oh! Hello?

Wilbur: You ok? I haven’t seen you, dude, in fucking ages! Tubbo, you singing a little song?

Tubbo: Yeah. Yeah.

Wilbur: What are you singing? You singing the thing! Hold on, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming. I’m coming man.

Tubbo: Where are you?

Wilbur: It’s m- I’m coming around. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, here I come. It’s Tubbo, man! I haven’t seen you in ages!

Tubbo: Wilbur.

Wilbur: Yeah I’m coming round man.

Tubbo: Yeah, haha.

Wilbur: Bro! It’s been-

Tubbo: Weird seeing you here.

Wilbur: What? What, in L’Manberg? That seems like the most normal place to see me, right?

Tubbo: Uhh. Yeah! Yeah, I suppose so.

Wilbur: I mean… Dude it’s so- I don’t even know what to say to you, man. It’s like- it’s like looking in- it’s like looking in a little mirror. You’re even wearing my suit still?

Tubbo: Oh, yeah.

Wilbur: How long have you been wearing that?

Tubbo: Oh I just put it on just for today. I was- y’know it’s been a year now.

Wilbur: Oh you’re down there now, ok.

Tubbo: Yeah I came over just to say hi.

Wilbur: Man you look good in it. Ranboo, have you met Tubbo?

Ranboo: Yeah! Yeah I- I- I’ve met him. I mean we umm… been around.

Wilbur: That’s really- Tubbo! I’m really really happy to see you, man. Dude, do you know-

Tubbo: Oh! Thank you.

Wilbur: Do you even know what’s happened since…

Tubbo: What do you mean what’s happened?

Wilbur: Holy crap. I saw you briefly, man. When I was resurrected. I remember you super super briefly but this is the first time we’ve actually gotten to speak. I- I- ok I will admit I was a little bit overwhelmed during that whole thing, you know. It was a bit-

Tubbo: Yeah.

Wilbur: It was a bit- you know, I was running across the glass, which thank god it’s gone. Like Jesus. Like this is far more apt. But like I was running across the glass- I’m sorry I wasn’t, you know… entirely on the same page, but man I promise you I’ve calmed down. You know, I’m all- I’m all settled in. I understand, you know, what’s changed, what hasn’t, who’s new, who’s old. You know, who’s still about, who- who uh…

Tubbo: Yeah, I mean-

Wilbur: Who trusts me and stuff, you know, it’s-

Tubbo: Did they fill you in with the story of like, what happened here after you died?

Wilbur: Yeah. They did, they did. Uh, it’s… I’ll be honest with you, it’s not a pretty one, uh, I- I kind of left a bit of a ripple. Uh, if I were- if there- if I was a rock dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock, uh-

Tubbo: Yeah.

Wilbur: Which, I can’t say I’m not- you know I’m not flattered. I mean, I am flattered but I’m not- I’m not too y’know, upset about- I quite like that, I quite like being a big ripple. But- but- but Tubbo, more than anything, more than anything, I wanna say to you super simply, man. Super simply, man, I just wanna say I- (sighs) I wanna say I’m sorry. Uh, for one- for one thing mainly, uh… I’ve been thinking about this for ye- literal years. Literal years I’ve been thinking about this. Uh, I’m sorry for uh, I’m sorry for making you president. Specifically before blowing it up. And I’m sorry for when I- when I did this (gestures at L’Manberg) and blew all this up and making this hole. I’m sorry that I uh, I said that you were the president of a crater. I just wanna say I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am.

Tubbo: I mean it wasn’t- this wasn’t all you, Wilbur.

Wilbur: We’ll get to that. Do you- just- what’s- ok uh do you forgive me?

Tubbo: I do forgive you. I do.

Wilbur: Man! My little- my little treasury. Secretary Treasury, man. Remember that?

Tubbo: Yeah, yeah. I remember that.

Wilbur: When you were Secretary Treasury. Ranboo, he was- he was the Secretary Treasury. And then he was president!

Ranboo: Yeah!

Wilbur: And then he was president.

Tubbo: Yeah, I’m pretty sure the treasury was, like somewhere there.

Wilbur: Yeah… Wait, what were you saying about me not being the one who blew it up?

Tubbo: Well, I mean… you- you definitely blew it up, but I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

Wilbur: Well- well how long did it- what- so you rebuilt it? What? How long did it re- how long did it stand before this happened?

Tubbo: Yeah, so… me and mainly Ghostbur, honestly. Like…

Wilbur: Ghostbur (derogatory).

Tubbo: Blood and sweat, like went in- he put so much effort into making everything right again.

Wilbur: Right, is he this obsidian crap, then, I take it? And these-

Tubbo: Oh no! Well, I mean-

Wilbur: Fucking dumb lanterns up here.

Tubbo: Dream.

Wilbur: Well yeah, I know Dream! Yeah.

Tubbo: Yeah, well-

Wilbur: I love him! I love Dream. Dream’s- Dream’s like probably my favorite per- sorry Ranboo, I mean, you know, no contest here but I mean, Dream’s probably my- my- my favorite person. He saved me! He brought me back to life.

Tubbo: Oh! Oh… Well, um… oh yeah, um, I mean he was part of it, I guess, but um… Techno and Philza- yeah they um…

Wilbur: Wait Techno and Phil blew this up?

Tubbo: They built this big obsidian contraption, like, overnight. I couldn’t even see it coming and they rained TNT for days.

Wilbur: Wait that’s… hold on. Why would- why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil wanna blow up L’Manberg? Didn’t they live here? I mean, I don’t know about Techno but-

Tubbo: No, Techno and Phil, they hated the government. I mean, it was partially my fault as well.

Wilbur: But you didn’t blow it up.

Tubbo: No, I didn’t. I would never have wished for anything like this to happen.

Wilbur: Then it was just Techno and Phil?

Tubbo: ...Yes.

Wilbur: Sorry, that’s kind of hit me. Not- not the blowing up part! I mean, that- I’ve done that, you know, I’m not- I’m not shaken up about that. The thing I’m shaken up about, man, is that (laughs) you rebuilt this? After I’d gone!

Tubbo: Well I can’t take all the- I can’t take all the credit, obviously, but-

Wilbur: Oh yeah the- yeah the- fucking ghost- you ca- man, you rebuilt this! Bro, you- fuck a grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave. Screw a grave! I built something that you- that you love- that you wanted to preserve, that’s-

Tubbo: Yeah, I really, honestly, I mean-

Wilbur: Tubbo, that’s worth more to me than a grave. That’s worth more to me than this shrine. That’s worth more to- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I’ve ever been given, just this knowledge, that you actually cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

Tubbo: Oh, I’m glad you’re happy.

Wilbur: You- (laughs) I’m sorry… Oh, man… Tubbo, thank you.

Tubbo: I mean, I- it’s alright, I’ve just- I feel lost without L’Manberg. All my core beliefs, everything died with it.

Wilbur: You feel lost without- without your nation.

Tubbo: I have no purpose anymore. What’s the point?

Wilbur: I guess that’s where anarchy fails… Tubbo. I have a little- a little thing going. It’s not big, it’s nothing much yet, you know, it’s just- it’s not a big deal! You know, it’s a- it’s a little burger van at the moment, but I’ve got big plans, big plans for it. Uh, Tubbo, it’s called Paradise. I was wondering if you-

Tubbo: Paradise?

Wilbur: Yeah. Would you like to come join me in- in Paradise? Literally.

Tubbo: Hmm… I- I’m not sure, Wilbur. I’m not- I’m not sure I trust you, man. I need to- in order to follow someone, I need to trust them.

Wilbur: Wait… (laughs) But you- I thought you forgave me! I thought it was- you know, you-

Tubbo: Yeah, Wilbur, I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people can change, but I don’t trust you yet, Wilbur.

Wilbur: Ok. Well Tubbo, I’ve literally- I was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn’t long for you! I know it was only a couple months for you, but thirteen years, Tubbo. Thirteen years of my life. I aged! Look at me! I’m not- I’m not the same young man you knew! I- I’ve been through it and in those thirteen years, Tubbo, I wasn’t just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “ooh this is nice! I’m in darkness right now!” you know, I was- I was thinking! I relived that explosion in my head so many times, man, and- and- and I… I get that you don’t- you don’t trust me, I do, but like, man, look at me, bro! I’m not gonna do it again! I’m not gonna- I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna, you know… I know you had that- you- at the festival? With Technoblade? I never spoke to you properly about this… I… I could’ve saved you.

Tubbo: But you didn’t.

Wilbur: I- Tubbo, I’m- I’m reaching out to you here, man, I’m- I’m on my knees, bro. Like, I- I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry and I really- and I- literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesn’t- it doesn’t give up what I did to you and it doesn’t give up how I failed you as a friend… you know, as a- I mean fuck- as a coworker. Just, you know, anything. And- Ranboo, you might not’ve known all of this and I’m really sorry if it’s your first time hearing it. I can explain later on, but like-

Ranboo: Alright.

Wilbur: Tubbo, like (laughs) man, I’m- I wanna make it up to you and you know what? I appreciate that you don’t trust me yet. I do.

Tubbo: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back, you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to but I just- I just can’t.

Wilbur: Tubbo, I- I really appreciate it. And I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it. And I’m gonna go out and I’m gonna prove to you that I’m worth being trusted again. I promise. I’ll do it!

Tubbo: Ok.

Wilbur: I’ll do it! I’ll redeem myself! And you’ll- you’ll-

Tubbo: You know I still have dreams, right? Of the explosion and- and of the fireworks and- and all of it. I- I still- I vividly see all of it every day… It hurts. It hurts a lot, Wilbur.

Wilbur: I- Tubbo, I- Tubbo, Tubbo- I know- Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo please! I- I know... I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I… it feels like such a weak word. I feel like there’s nothing stronger that I can say. And I- and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna- I’m gonna make something. I’m gonna make something of this. And I’m gonna… um… Tubbo, do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not- I’m not just saying- trying to say this- I- I’ve got your forgiveness and I know I need to earn your trust but man, I just wanna let you know, I… you’re so strong, man. Genuinely. You j- just the fact that you proved to me just there. That you- you have these memories and you have these nightmares and you still found it in your heart to forgive me, thats… (sighs) you’re a fucking champion, man. You’re a- you’re a hero. Look, I get you don’t wanna join me in Paradise. We won’t talk about it any more, but… come on. At least come and see! Come and see what me and Ranboo have done! Look, I- I dunno- Ranboo, are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like, good friends?

Ranboo: Umm, yeah. Yeah. I’d say so.

Tubbo: Mhm.

Wilbur: Yeah well why don’t you come and, you know, come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on, at least! Come on man, let’s go, let’s go! Ranboo, Tubbo!

Tubbo: I… I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m more- I’m fine just to stay here.

Wilbur: No, no. Man, man... No worries. Look at me. Look at me, bro! Bro! Chin up! Look. Lucky rabbit’s foot!

Tubbo: Ok…

Wilbur: Tommy gave this to me, man. Lucky rabbit’s foot.

Tubbo: Lucky rabbit’s foot.

Wilbur: Lucky rabbit’s foot, man. Chin up! Come on, I’ll- Ranboo I’ll- I- you can come, man. It’s cool. Let’s go. Let’s go.

Ranboo: Yeah, I will. I will, I will. (to Tubbo) Do you need me to- do you need me to stay here?

Tubbo: N-no, I- (sniffs) I would like to be left alone, please!

Ranboo: Oh. You sure? I mean, I can- I can stay…

Tubbo: Yes! I’m fine!

Wilbur: Ranboo! Ranboo! Let’s go, man.

Ranboo: Sure. Ok. Yep! Let’s- let’s go.

Wilbur: See you, Tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

Tubbo: Uh-huh.

Wilbur: Alright. Come on, Ranboo.

Ranboo: Alright.

Wilbur: (sighs) Oh, man… This is- I mean I’ve gotta- I’ve gotta, you know, I was gonna say “this is hard” but obviously it’s hard. I mean, I’ve…

Ranboo: It is difficult, yeah.

Wilbur: It’s- it’s difficult. It’s difficult, man. But you know, it’s- it’s gonna get better! It’s gonna get better and it’s gonna be worth it when I see them smiling. All of them.

Ranboo: Yeah!

Wilbur: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy… Anyone! Do you know who the original L’Manberg group were? Do you know who we were?

Ranboo: I- oh, I think I know most of them, yeah. I think it was like, you, Jack, Niki, and Fundy I believe as well…

Wilbur: Mhm. Fundy was a bit after. Fundy was after we’d gotten it-

Ranboo: Hmm. Yeah I don’t really- I don’t really know much about the L’Manberg history.

Wilbur: That’s alright. No, you’ve got it down! That’s correct. It’s- it was- it was that group and uh, we um… yeah we fought against Dream, uh… and we managed to- we succeeded! And we created a- a life for ourselves- Ranboo, I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone. I try- I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh, I don’t want people to use it against me, is the main problem. I d- I didn’t even tell Tommy! I lied to Tommy, I’ll be honest. I- I’m gonna tell him soon that I lied to him because it- it kinda eats away at me. But I told- I told Tommy that- that I didn’t actually care about L’Manberg and that it was just, like, a tool for me to use to gain like, you know, power and stuff but it’s not- it’s not true. L’Manberg is- was really important to me and it is still, to this day, I- I- I want it to, um, I want- I want it’s history to live on, not as a stain caused by me, you know. I basically took a big shit on the history books, it feels like. I wanna- I wanna make it- I wanna make it feel like it was, you know, it was something that happened, you know. It was a great thing! You know, think of the good times, the- the years of safety that- well, not years but you know, the- the time of safety! The time of fun! Prosperity, you know! We built parks! We- we had, you know, no taxes. We had big walls. We had democracy! Albeit a slightly disjointed version of it, but you know… I want- that’s how people remember L’Manberg. That- that’s what people think of when they think of our nation, you know? That’s- and Tubbo- Tubbo’s the last connection we really have. I mean, he- he’d said it himself, he’s kind of, you know, he’s got nothing without it. I’ve heard about what- what Tommy’s you know, moved on and how Jack’s moved on and… Niki’s moved on. And everyone’s moved on from L’Manberg, at least partially. But Tubbo, man, he’s still-

Ranboo: Yeah, he’s still very very strung up about it. Even though it’s been a...while. He- he distracts himself though, with projects and everything. Which is nice, but…

Wilbur: Projects, I mean (laughs)

Ranboo: I mean, yeah. Yeah, this one as well.

Wilbur: I think he’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright. I’m- I’m looking at him.

Ranboo: I hope so.

Wilbur: I’m looking out for him… Anyway, Ranboo I want to say thank you, man, for, you know, for trusting me this quick. I mean, you barely- you’ve barely known me, like, you know…

Ranboo: Yeah, I mean-

Wilbur: Very long and you’ve instantly just, you know… You’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I, you know I- I don’t- I don’t know where I’d be without you here, right now man. I mean Tommy’s great and all and he’s here but I- I feel like- you know, I don’t wanna string him along too much because he’s- I- when I- when I look at him, when I look at him when he’s helping me out, building things with me… I- I see the same eyes that looked at me when- when… There were some- there weren’t some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia. I wasn’t a very well man and I could just see Tommy from that day.

[trainsinanime]

Here’s a Miraculous Ladybug story idea that I may write some time, but probably not, because I only really care about chapter two of what would probably need to be at least ten.

Chapter one features Lila going after Marinette full-force. Not the weak boring „she rips up her notebook so hard that Marinette has to move to Gotham“ crap. We’re doing this properly: Lila convinces the Mayor that Marinette is planning to resurrect Napoleon and bring him back to power. So the Mayor has Marinette imprisoned without trial, because apparently he can do that in the Miraculous universe, and not even her friends or family know what’s going on.

Chapter 3 and later will detail how Marinette managed to escape the prison after fourteen years, with the help of a professional hypnotist. She discovers a pirate treasure on a small uninhabited island off the coast of Italy. With the money from the treasure, she buys the island and the title of nobility that comes with it, and returns to Paris. Rich, and now officially a countess, she will reward those who were loyal to her, and destroy all her enemies. (I haven’t yet worked out what that means in detail.)

But the really interesting part for me is what happens in those fourteen years. Here are my notes. Content warning: Dark, Major Character Death, Intended as over-the-top and silly but maybe not over-the-top enough, and of course, Adrien/Lila:

With Marinette gone, a lot of joy drops from the class immediately. Everybody loves her, and they only have weird rumours about what happened to her, rumours that they can’t believe even if the source is Lila. (No, we’re not doing class salt. Yes, that means my options for enemies in the later chapters are limited. I don’t care, I love Alya and the rest of the class and I am not throwing them under the bus.)

The first time Ladybug doesn’t appear to a fight, everybody is pissed. The second time, they’re even more pissed. The third time, they’re worried.

Chat Noir does his best. He decides to capture the Akumas, so Ladybug can cleanse them when she returns. For now, he stores them in mason jars. After a bit of thought, he decided to just store them in the cellar of the mansion, in a box labelled „Adrien’s favourite toys“. Nobody ever looks there.

No Ladybug means no cleanup. (The ear rings are kept in the warden’s office in Marinette’s prison, so Ladybug is out of commission for fourteen years). Adrien again tries to help, spending way too much time cataclysming debris. A child has lost their favourite plush shark in a river of chocolate? Chat Noir manages to „find“ and „clean“ it. No, it’s totally the same shark, not a new one that he just bought, believe me. The child is happy, but clearly it’s not enough.

The first time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, rebuilding it is a matter of national pride. If Ladybug is gone, then France will step in. Gabriel donates a lot to the effort.

The second time the Eiffel Tower is destroyed, authorities decide to leave the debris as a monument. The statue for Ladybug disappears.

With no Ladybug, Hawkmoth realises that he can’t get the ear rings. Attacks decrease, to once a month, then once every three months; apparently just to check whether Ladybug has returned. Around Adrien’s eighteenth birthday, it seems like Hawkmoth might retire for good. On a completely unrelated note, Gabriel appears to have lost all will to live.

Adrien can’t escape Lila, who continues to be employed by Gabriel, despite her not being very good at photoshoots. But he does his best to keep his distance.

Shortly after Adrien’s birthday, he is away, while Lila has a meeting with Gabriel and Nathalie. But tragedy strikes: Lila arrives and witnesses Gabriel shooting Nathalie and then himself. Why would he do such a thing? Good thing Lila is such a reliable witness. The case is so clear that the police don’t even have to check the gun for fingerprints.

Adrien is stricken with grief. He tries to call his friends, but nobody will reply. It’s almost as if someone with access to Gabriel’s computer had used the spy software on Adrien’s phone to disable it. But that’s clearly absurd. There is only one other person who is there to comfort him: Lila. Adrien doesn’t like her, but she is someone familiar. She spends the night.

The next morning, Adrien is disgusted, and the two part ways. But two months later, she reappears and tells him she is pregnant and it’s his child. She has a whole speech prepared about how he needs to take responsibility, but it’s not necessary: Adrien will not let his child grow up without a father.

The next month, the wedding is a weird affair. Lila wanted something grandiose, and she got it. But all their friends know that this is anything but true love.

Alix wonders aloud what Marinette’s role would have been if she had been here. Alya jokingly says that she’d be the bride. Adrien overhears, and he realises: Yeah, she would have been. He loves her. Always had. This moment is when the only wedding picture is taken where Adrien smiles.

Seven months later, Gabriel Agreste Junior is born. Adrien loves his son with all his heart, but he has questions. But Lila and her top-notch expensive doctors assure him that this is perfectly normal, sometimes pregnancies take a month longer or two. Adrien is not fully convinced, but he doesn’t want to cause a fuss.

Around this time we also get a new Hawkmoth, who is much meaner, but doesn’t seem to have as clear a goal. Everybody’s best guess is that this Hawkmoth is just going after whoever last pissed them off. (Totally forgot this one in the original version of the post, sorry)

Two years later, Lila’s daughter Emma Marinette Agreste Junior is born. Adrien picked the second name while Lila was asleep. Since Lila is not involved with her kid’s upbringing at all, she has not yet noticed. This time, Adrien is convinced that something is up and Lila is lying to him. The reason: He has recently learned how babies are made, and he knows for a fact that he never did that with Lila.

He confronts her. Lila isn’t concerned, though. What’s he going to do? Divorce her? Then he’s never going to see the kids again. The things she could make a court believe… Adrien is horrified by that thought, especially since he knows very well that he’s the only one in the marriage who loves these children.

Meanwhile, Lila’s own career as an actress isn’t going well. She’s a great natural talent, sure; she can make anyone believe anything. But to be a great actor, you still have to turn up on set every day, and not just when you feel like it. Oh, sure, she has great excuses, but the jobs still dry up fast. And while you can make up a story that makes you look good about one make-up artist you made cry, maybe two, there is a point where it becomes a problem.

She blames Adrien for this, mostly because he will generally not back up her lies about where she was. He doesn’t really care, though. Despite her threats, what’s she gonna do, leave with the kids? Thanks to his father, Adrien had some top notch lawyers, and the pre-nup agreement is watertight.

Unrelated to all this, behold Paris’s new mayor, Chloé Burgeois. She’s been embroiled in controversy from day one. Some say she’s too young. Others say she only got the job because her father was mayor before her. Yet others point to her publicly difficult relation with her constant partner and off-again-on-again girlfriend Sabrina. But perhaps the biggest talking point is that in her office, she has a big painting of a certain heroine in red with spots, with the words, „what would Ladybug do?“ underneath. She’s never lost trust, and the press hates her for it.

One day, her old school friend Alya visits. Alya’s own relationship to Ladybug is difficult: Part of her still holds out hope, just like Chat Noir. Another part of her curses Ladybug for just leaving. Her goal now is completely unrelated to Ladybug, though. She has uncovered new things about the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy: The main witness (Lila) and the supposed ring-leader: Marinette. That can’t be right.

She wants Chloé to reveal the truth. Chloé herself has no idea, and very little interest in investigating. Her father told her that this was all secret, and that she should never touch this subject.

But she knows very well what Alya is asking for here. Alya got her big break as a journalist by uncovering the files on the Napoleon Resurrection Conspiracy in the first place. The revelation that it had all been swept under the rug was what caused the old Mayor to step down in the first place. If Alya is now saying that this might all be wrong, that means she’s placing her whole career on the line. That level of commitment means something.

For her own part, it took Chloé a while to admit it, but she was shocked and heartbroken by Marinette’s sudden disappearance as well. It was the first step to becoming a somewhat nicer person, and forming real bonds with her classmates. She has the access to the archives. She could uncover the truth, and maybe even find out where Marinette is now. It wouldn’t be popular, and it might be dangerous… but what would Ladybug do?

Chloé is all in, and it doesn’t take long until she meets Lila. Chloé would not consider herself a fan. She knows the difference between Adrien’s real and fake smiles. Lila refuses to clear things up, though. Instead, she tells Chloé that the french secret service does not allow her to say anything, and that Chloé better drop it if she knows what’s good for her.

Chloé ignores it. She also ignores it when she gets a threatening letter. After all, Ladybug was up against powerful people, too, and she never let that stop her. She even ignores when her own personal Yacht sinks for unexplained reasons, until her Butler and Sabrina explain to her some things about the history of the french secret service (actually I’m not sure whether this is too much in bad taste; the alternative would be that her vacation home gets set on fire).

She tells Alya that there is nothing to know, and blocks her cell phone number. The next day, workers remove the Ladybug painting. After all, what Ladybug would do is just disappear, right? Only fitting. Sabrina laughs a little too artificially at the joke. Yes, indeed. Ladybug would just stop doing her job when the people needed her. Perfect analogy.

With that, the basic outline is set. Chapter three would probably be short and tell the story of Marinette’s imprisonment. Chapter four is then where the real revenge starts.

Other points:

At various points, Luka is sadly strumming his guitar.

I’m not sure what to do about Marinette’s parents. The mean option is that they die, full of grief over their missing daughter. The very mean option is that they end up separating first. I’m not sure Marinette’s revenge spree works if they’re still around, and I definitely don’t ever see them turning away from her.

Nino and Kagami could do with an arc here.

Anyway, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, but since I don’t know how to turn this into a full story, this is as good as it gets. If any of you guys want to borrow parts or all of it for your stories, please go ahead.

[emixion]

Mission: Maribat March Day 3

this was supposed to just be injustice salt with a side of fluff but then it just got sad. but yeah injustice au lmao. _______________________________________________________________________ The mission is simple: Use a boom tube to get to Paris. Locate Team Miraculous. Take them out before they can launch an attack of their own on the regime. Simple. So, why is Damian having such a hard time with it? He stares back at young woman before him, guilt swirling in his stomach as her blue eyes pierce right through him. She is unafraid, holding her head up high even though she knows perfectly well who he and his teammates are. She doesn’t even take out her weapon. There’s fire in her eyes, but her expression is solemn and tired. The face of someone who has been fighting for far too long. He knows the feeling. “I don’t wish to fight you.” Her calm voice fills his ears. “I’m afraid you don’t have a choice, Ladybug.” Damian replies, biting back the shame. She just comes closer, despite him drawing his weapon, until she’s right in front of him. “You used to work with Batman, yes?” She asks softly. Damian immediately goes on the defense. “Not anymore.” He grits out, his eyes growing cold. “I suppose you’re on his side?” Ladybug shakes her head. “I don’t align myself with Batman’s morals, nor Superman’s.” She admits, unfazed by the sharp turn in his voice. Damian is taken aback, though he doesn’t show it. “I would think you and your team would support the insurgency.” He muses. “All I want is for the public to be safe. I don’t support the preservation of uncontainable villains, and I don’t support the use of force to rule.” She explains. “If you want the public to be safe, then side with the regime. We are working to ensure all crime is eliminated.” Damian attempts to persuade. “If you come quietly, no harm should come to you or your team.” Ladybug looks at him thoughtfully. “Before you take me away, may I show you something?” She asks quietly. Damian looks at her skeptically. “I don’t think so. Could be a trap.” He protests. “No traps, you have my word. There’s just something very important I’d like you to see before leaving Paris.” Ladybug reassures, holding out her hand to him. Damian looks at her, really looks at her. Why is she so calm and civil with him? Why hasn’t she attacked him? Where could she possibly want to take him? It has to be a trap, there’s no other explanation for her unnerving reaction to his presence. Though when he looks in her eyes, studies her body language, she is nothing but sincere. Damian lets out a breath he didn’t know he has holding. Clark would kill him if he knew what he was about to do. He doesn’t have to know, then. “…Alright.” He finally relents, though he doesn’t take the offered hand. “Lead the way.” It’s not like he wanted to be threatening Paris’ heroes anyway. Ladybug nods before leaping off of the rooftop, and swings away, Damian in tow. When they finally land, it’s in front of a monument. A monument with many strange names on it, all listed under the words ‘Mémorial national d'Akuma’ carved in big letters. Damian furrows his brows in confusion. “What is this?” He asks Ladybug, who has a glassy look in her eye as she scans over the rows and rows of names. “This is our National Akuma Memorial.” She answers, her gaze flickering back over to Damian. “Paris was under attack by a supervillian for many years. My team and I were only able to locate and defeat him recently.” Damian blinks in surprise. He wasn’t aware of a supervillian in Paris. “The villain, Hawkmoth, could sense negative emotions and took advantage of them. He used dark butterflies to possess victims and turn them into villains, into Akumas, in an attempt to get Chat Noir and I’s miraculous.” Ladybug continues. “He wanted to use their power to bring back his late wife.” Damian stiffens. “He didn’t see anything wrong with what he was doing. Even though he terrorized our entire city for years. He possessed children, teenagers, his own family members. The people of Paris became used to suppressing their emotions in order to avoid akumatization. They lived in fear for so long, we still feel the effects today. Many people, including myself are struggling to learn how to feel emotions again.” She lifts a hand to brush over the memorial, fingers delicate. “This memorial has the name of every Akuma victim that Hawkmoth possessed. It is a reminder of Paris’ resilience even through the darkest of times.” Damian looks wordlessly over the names once more. There are thousands. “Why are you telling me this?” He asks through the lump in his throat. Ladybug looks back at him with what could be only described as absolute strength. “Because my city has been controlled by a grieving man before. And it survived. You can take me and my teammates, you can torture and kill us, but whatever becomes of me will not break these people. They will never bow down to fear, no matter what your regime does to them. Paris is strong and it will survive just as it always does.” By the time she is done speaking, tears are falling out of her eyes and over her mask down her cheeks. The previously suppressed shame crashes over Damian like a tsunami. “I-“  He struggles to keep himself together in the face of this woman. Her quiet courage only reminding him of his own failure. “I also ask,” Ladybug speaks up again through a sniffle, a sad smile spreading on her face. “If you would reconsider your position. I understand that you only have good intentions, and that sometimes good intentions lead to great tragedy.” She briefly glances back over at the memorial. “I also understand that you were young when this war started. I was too. I had to become Ladybug at thirteen, I had no choice. I’m sure you didn’t either, but now you do.” She holds out her hand again, just as she did on the rooftop. “So please, help me defend the public. Stand with me.” Damian trembles, breathing through all of the hurt that he’s hidden away until this very moment, until Ladybug, despite his order to capture her, had shown him true kindness and understanding. He breathes through the shame, the guilt, the resentment, the anger, the grief (I’m sorry Dick), the loss, the remorse and steps forward. He takes her hand.

[imagine-organization-xiii]

Vacations with their SO. Where would they go? What would they do? GO

There are a few vacation prompts in the ask box so i’m going to try to make them as different as I can - click here if you’re interested in org members preferred vacation

-

Xemnas - something simple and romantic for the two of you, where the other organization members are thousands of miles away and can’t ruin anything. A fancy hotel in a beautiful location, somewhere with a spa. Beautiful scenery, quiet atmosphere, a fancy restaurant with a secluded table, maybe a little dancing if you feel up to it. Just something where you can relax and spend time together

Xigbar - excitement is just as romantic as a sleepy cottage in a forest or a long walk on the beach. Xigbar wants a long road trip with you with no particular destination. You just take off one day with no goal in mind, sleeping in random hotels and stopping at whatever roadside attraction catches your eye. You’ll have a couple of souvenirs and some great memories 

Xaldin - Xaldin is the type of person that likes small, intimate vacations, romance optional. He doesn’t need to go on a romantic getaway with you - he’s just happy with taking you to a small town in the middle of nowhere and looking at a few unique attractions. Honestly, he’s really up for whatever you want to do, as long as it’s just the two of you and it’s far far away from the other organization members.

Vexen - If you can avoid the sun, he’s fine with wherever you want to go. He really wants to go explore a bunch of museums, tbh. Just because you’re on vacation doesn’t mean that the two of you can’t be learning something while you’re having fun! Learning can be fun, especially when you have Vexen getting mad if the museum has incorrect information somewhere

Lexaeus - Camping? A nice little cabin or a big tent in the middle of nowhere? Just the two of you near a gentle creek, getting back to your roots and becoming one with nature. You can’t think of a better way to spend time with this giant man than plopping down on top of him and looking up at the beautiful night sky.

Zexion - “hey y/n, i have a great idea of what we can do for our vacation” “what’s that, zexion?” “well i found this supposedly haunted house -” “absolutely not.” This boy has a secret love of haunted houses and spooky things, so he’ll probably drag you to some location around the world that has a weird, spooky history. It’s fun, though nerve-wracking, and don’t be surprised if both of you get absolutely terrified for no reason

Saix - Bora Bora or Bust. This man wants to be pampered because he WORKS HARD. Surfing, snorkeling, swimming with the dolphins, night time bonfires - if he and Demyx didn’t get on each other’s nerves, they would probably have a good time together. All about local cuisine and events - willing to try anything once.

Axel - If you aren’t up for adventure, Axel’s type of vacation is not for you. Axel wants excitement. He wants rock climbing and nature walks and mountain hiking. Something where you get a lot of exercise and can work up a sweat. He swears by the idea that you can always find something interesting where you get a little off the beaten path, so be ready for a bunch of surprises during your vacation

Demyx - BEACH BEACH BEACH BEACH. I feel like his preferred vacation with you really goes without saying??? Tanning, sand castles, seeing you in a bathing suit, beach bonfires, sipping mai tais and watching the ocean? Yeah, if he could LIVE on the beach then that would literally be part of a perfect life for him, so expect your romantic getaway with him to have a lot of sand and sun

Luxord - National monuments! Historical landmarks! Old historic castles in faraway places, vintage hotels overlooking the Eiffel Tower or a gondola ride in Venice. Luxord likes unique and beautiful things almost as much as Marluxia, and he has a healthy appreciation for the old and antique. He’s also of a mind that a vacation is a good time to learn something new, though not necessarily on the same level as Vexen.

Marluxia -Marluxia likes being surprised, so you’re usually the one to plan your romantic vacations. Botanical gardens? Hell yeah. Pumpkin picking in the Fall? Absolutely. The Amsterdam Tulip Fields? His dream vacation. He just likes beautiful scenery, but he’s also fond of cruises, so get yourself a fancy cabin on a big cruise ship and he’ll be good to go

Larxene - Likes the beach. Always has a perfect tan and you have no idea how she does it. Can beat anyone’s ass at beach volleyball and she will be happy to show off her skills on a team with you. She’d like to get a little bungalow on crystal clear water, where you can see the fish swimming by. Also a bit of a daredevil, so don’t be surprised if she wants to drag you to go swim with some sharks or something

Roxas - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - for Roxas, it’s more about the journey than the destination. If you want to stop halfway through your trip because you saw a cool roadside attraction?? Heck yeah!!! He’s up for it!!! Also a fan of amusement parks, so a trip to Disney World might be in your future if your vacation companion is Roxas 

Xion - Xion just wants to go on vacation, no matter where it is, so she kind of leaves the planning up to you. You know she has a preference for snow, so you might choose a place that’s cold, where the two of you can go skiing and make snowmen, or have a snowball fight. Something where you can get a lot of excitement during the day and curl up in front of a fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa at night.

[l8rhader]

I'm sorry. I just...Bill had no sooner pressed submit on the design and laughed as he pressed the button to purchase 8 of the t-shirt. Richie Tozier '20. He was thrilled with the outcome and positively giddy at the thought of his friends receiving their gifts. Ever since Richie had engaged in a Twitter beef with Kanye, Kelly Conway, and the President, the idea had been stuck in his head and he had to see it through. In his mind's eye, the group would all wear them to his next show and then toss one onstage at him during a break.

However, his mind's eye was blind to the fact that Richie’s husband-cum-interim-but-probably-permanent-manager got a Google alert every time his husband's name was used. Looking away from his computer and down to his phone, his eyes narrowed. "Stan, I'm gonna have to call you back. We have a funeral to plan."

"A funer-" he started, furrowing his brow. It didn't matter because Eddie was gone.

Pressing the 3rd speed dial on his phone, he was connected to Bill in a flash. "Hey, Eds. Funny you should call-"

"If he ends up in the oval office because of some stupid prank, I'm going to hang you by your toes from the top of the Washington monument, William Alexander Denbrough, and I will get away with it because, somehow,” he rested his head on his palm and groaned, “Somehow, in your pinnacle of horror cliffhangers, you will have made Richie Tozier president and I will have a damn country to run!" When he paused for a breath, Bill's snickering was suddenly audible. "This is not funny! Do you remember what happened last time? We're not fourteen anymore and this is not a mock election for student council! We're adults and between the pair of you and Ben and Bev, you have enough followers to conceivably make a go of it and this cannot happen, Bill!" He rubbed his temples and closed his eyes. "You know I'm gonna hear about this forever, right?"

Bill sighed and shook his head. "You know it's not that bad, right?"

"You know you're an asshole, right?" He sniped through the phone with no real bite. 

"You know you have to wear one to his the show, right?" Bill countered.

That was the image that broke Eddie. He barked a laugh. "Yeah, I know. Love you, Big Bill."

"You too, Eddie. See you next weekend," he said, finally starting to gather himself. That is until his phone lit up again with a picture of Stan.  He took a deep breath and pressed the button to accept but was greeted, instead, by the banshee-like yell that signaled to the Losers that they had done something so truly hysterical that Stan was nearing aneurysm territory.  He was so ready for the payoff.

When Richie strode out onto the stage amidst the announcer's booming voice, ready to take on his new special, Bev gasped, catching a glimpse of the black t-shirt with Richie Tozier ‘20 gleaming across the chest in red and white as it peeked out beneath his blazer.  She slapped Mike’s knee and leaned forward to look past him at Bill.  Bill looked absolutely stunned.  He glanced over at the man beside him accusatorily.  

“I swear, Bill, I didn’t,” Eddie whispered, shaking his head.  Of course, Richie had bought himself one.  He watched, dumbstruck as Richie did his trademark walk, but tried really hard not to notice that his husband, bless him, seemed to forget that he’d recently bulked up quite a bit in the chest and shoulders.  Finally, he leaned to his friend and whispered, “I cleared the notification and everything.  The asshole must have searched his own name.”

Eddie shook his head.  He should have known.  It was too good for Richie to pass up.

Having gone to great lengths to avoid revealing his surprise, Richie flicked off his jacket with an excited "How're we all doing tonight?" Eddie’s nervous energy flowed through him and into the hand he'd clasped with Stan who gripped right back. It wasn’t Richie’s first rodeo. Hell, it wasn’t Eddie’s either, but somehow, he couldn’t help but be at least a little nervous about his live wire.

"Welcome to the Trashmouth National Convention. I'm proud to be your nominee this year," he boasted. The crowd gave a confused laugh. "Okay, seriously, which one of you dipshits made this?" He pointed up to the balcony. His fans always had ridiculous merch available online with quotes from his shows. This was new. He pulled the mic from the stand and strolled forward. "Because, I hate to be the one to tell you, it's the worst idea I'm officially obsessed with." He laughed and crossed his arms casually, almost thoughtfully. "I've already got my platform. It's really a 3 part system..."

As he spoke, his friends were almost floored. Of course, it was funny. He's Richie, that's what he does. But it makes sense. Even Mike, who stands just about as far to the opposite of Richie, personality-wise, is hard-pressed to find a flaw.

"Of course, my main platform is reclaiming the name of Richard in politics." He scowled and gave a patented double peace sign. When the grown-up portion of his audience laughed, he pawed them off playfully.

That's when he sees it.

That's when he sees that the entire front row was dressed in identical Richie Tozier '20 campaign shirts and the Trashmouth facade faded away into unrelenting laughter. "Okay, which one of you assholes did this," he coughed between peals. He pointed at Bev accusatorily. She threw her hands in the air, insisting innocence.

Bill called out above the howls of laughter and pointed to himself because he knew just as well as Richie that half of his audience comes in the hope that the Losers will be there and the comedy will delve into personal rhetoric and ridiculous stories about clowns and Paul Bunyan and knife-wielding bullies that exactly no one believes but they're so over the top that they can't help but laugh. Richie doubled over clapping and stomping his feet, his entire act disregarded. Moving to toss the shirt onstage, Bill fumbled and passed it to Ben who flung it effortlessly.

"The talent is supposed to be the one with the T-shirt cannon, Ben," Richie laughed as the shirt zoomed past him, having put no effort into catching it. He darted upstage to retrieve it and unfurled it, identical to his own and his friends. "You know, Bill, I was gonna make you my Vice President, but I'm not too keen on fragging, jerk. Guess it'll have to be Stan."

In tandem, Eddie and Stan folded their arms and shook their heads, sending him off on another bout of riotous laughter. "Okay, he might be more likely than Bill." He loosened his imaginary collar and pulled a face before returning to his routine. If there was one thing of which he was sure, it was that his own personal cabinet could and would never, ever put him under friendly fire.

...

Maybe.

[knightdale-secret]

Today I learned a haunting truth about a secret hidden right in my very neighborhood. An ugly truth that has been hidden, covered up and mostly forgotten, until now.

In Knightdale, North Carolina the prominent plantation owner, Charles Lewis Hinton, purchased and built a plantation home for his son David Hinton and his new wife Mary Boddie Carr as a wedding present on a stretch of land that would come to be known as the Midway Plantation because it was halfway between two other Hinton family properties. The beautiful, two-story Greek Revival plantation home was built in 1848 as a forced-labor farm. A slave plantation.

I’m not certain how many people were enslaved there over the years, but I do know that at least 130 of those slaves were buried on a site that would later be knowingly built on top of to create Widewaters subdivision. MY neighborhood.

Right behind the community pool and club house there is a strange white gravel path that leads up a slight hill to a black wrought iron fence gate that is always latched. There is a rickety wooden fencing surrounding a wooded area on a hill. This is in the middle of the neighborhood. There was never any explanation for it - for why, in a development, this overgrown patch of trees is fenced in and gated off, untouched, where normally there would be another few houses perhaps. I pass this area almost daily in my car or on leisurely walks. I had noticed the fence but thought maybe it was part of someone’s property. I didn’t think too much of it.

But that changed today. Today I was bored and looking up about local plantation owners in the area because history has always interested me. I learned a little about the Shoppes of Midway being built where the plantation house once stood and that the original house and its outbuildings were moved 2 miles up the road so a Target could be built and the ever expanding road wouldn’t keep encroaching on their lawn. This made way for growth in Knightdale. And grow it has. What was once a small town on the outskirts of Raleigh has become busier and more built up as available housing in the city has decreased and people leave it in search of quieter suburbs to live and raise their families. So as I was researching for no reason in particular other than personal interest, I stumbled upon an article about Midway Plantation and it stated that there was a slave cemetery that was surveyed and a neighborhood was built on top of it. It said it was across the street to the east from where the Midway Plantation house originally stood and that all that was left of the cemetery was maybe 50 graves on a hill in some trees surrounded by a black wrought iron fence. The article states that after the building of the subdivision was started, it was clear that houses were more important than the graves of the many slaves that worked the plantations. And yes, the builders did know about the cemetery. It was surveyed and it was signed off on to be built over. I think this is when the downplaying, lying and covering up started. A letter was reportedly written according to the below article when the preparations for the subdivision were being made that said that such a large slave cemetery couldn’t have existed in this area based on the shaky reference that the present owners didn’t have enough slaves to have this type of burial ground and no church could be identified on the grounds (cause cemeteries only are constructed on church grounds?) this mysterious letter writer conveniently failed to recognize that the land was originally Hinton land and they had slaves numbering in the hundreds here and could most certainly have amassed a deceased slave population of that size over the years it was in operation.

There is a saying about guilt : “A given excuse that was not asked for implies guilt.” If this letter writer submitted this without prompting from any public outcry than he was already defending a guilty mind. He was trying to persuade people away from the truth and to avoid any public outrage over the very wrong they knew they were committing by building here.

That article link is here: http://www.knightdalehistoric.com/pdf/plantations3.pdf

This was the only article or snippet of information I could find about this cemetery that very clearly under my neighborhood and whose remaining grave sites lie just mere feet away from our community swimming pool. This disturbed me greatly because to date, this site is unmarked and unrecognized. So i first decided to submit a request for a historical marker to be made for the site. I was met with an emailed response by a very helpful administrator for the NC Marker Historical Society who said that they no longer do markers for cemeteries but she would contact the National Register for Historic Places and see if the cemetery could be added to the Midway plantation that is already registered as a historical place. She has been talking with archaeologists who are working on this and she’ll be in touch. I also emailed someone in archives to see how I could find the site survey that was done but haven’t received a response yet.

Next I decided to post this information on Facebook to the local community groups and see how they felt about it, and to inform them as well as pose that a marker be made and that I would try to get that facilitated. An outpouring of support and offerings to donate to help fund its creation were given. I knew I was onto something that was important not just to me as a person living in a neighborhood with a secret of this magnitude, but to a community of people who would also want this recognized.

Now, I myself am not African American. I am pretty much as white as they come, I have the genealogy report to prove it. I struggled with the idea that I would be lambasted as trying to be some sort of “white savior” or something by trying to make this happen. I felt guilty that I was the one that found this information and had to be the one to put it out there. I felt like this belongs to the descendants of slaves. this is something that would affect their community,feelings and hearts maybe more than the white community’s in its ramifications and would of course be more important to them on a more personal level. Who am I to come in and make a big stink about something that isn’t even my history someone might say,but it is America’s history. It is the history of the land I now inhabit. And it is an issue that I hold dear to my heart because these men and women and children that lived, worked and died here were not just property or possessions, they were people and their graves should be respected just like anyone else’s. More so I think. Their graves can serve as a reminder of the great bloody sins that occurred in the building of this country. In the building of the south. The only monuments I’d like to see in the south would be to commemorate the slaves, not the enslavers and the people that tried to tear the country apart. The hero slaves that helped build this nation against their will and with great laboring and suffering due to an abhorrent institution that stains our history. They are the ones that should be remembered. Their stories told.

I have always been a sympathizing person. My first hero in elementary school was Martin Luther King, Jr. I gave an oral report on him and did papers later in junior high. I have always been the type of person that hates seeing injustice done to people and the hatred that divides communities and people over nothing more than color or ignorant biases. It never made sense to me and I never understood why people can’t be kind to one another and celebrate differences rather than fear them.

Some people made the point that many cemeteries have been likely built on over the years including white cemeteries, which I also think is awful, but in this situation PART OF THIS CEMETERY IS STILL HERE! Part of our history, this city’s history is still here in OUR NEIGHBORHOOD. We pass it every day! It is here with us and it should be recognized. It should be visited and reflected on. It should be acknowledged.

I visited the cemetery site today and saw the indentations in the ground and the old stone markers left on some of the sites where the slaves were buried. I couldn’t believe that this was just here, between houses and a pool, not in a historical site that you had to pay to see. No fanfare or brochure handouts. Just dusty old bones in the ground marked by grey stones in a patch of trees in the middle of a subdivision, silently waiting to be seen. I whispered to them before I left that I would do all I could to make sure they were not forgotten. That a marker in their honor would be made so they could be remembered. I sincerely hope I can make that happen.

Thru my posts on Facebook, I met a man named Keith Gibbs who has apparently already done a lot of work to try to have this cemetery recognized with a small group of others but they hit many roadblocks. He told me that there are cover ups and corruption surrounding the area from higher ups and people that don’t want this information out there. He was unsuccessful in his journey to get the site recognized, but he has agreed to hand over his research and findings to me in hopes I will be the one to get something done. ME, a curious girl with no real clout, lol. Yeah, ME, I’m the one. I’m the one that will make this happen where others failed. RIGHT?? Right.

Now, it should be said that I have never really been the figure head for anything in my life. I have never been the spokesperson, the leader the public person, the socialite. I am a shy person that works best from the shadows, behind the scenes. The one that does the work but doesn’t get the credit. And I have largely been okay with that role. It’s less stressful. But now people are looking to me to lead them on this issue. To call the shots and take the donations and create the marker. And that was all fine and dandy…. until CBS 17 messaged me asking if I’d like to do a story for them to help get attention and funding for the marker. I got excited and also nervous. I let her know that would likely be a good Avenue to take to get it done but I am still in the information gathering stage. I let her know of my meeting with Keith and told her I’d get back with her when I knew more. She was okay with that.

Honestly, I was relieved I had a reason to stall. I’ve never been on TV before! Cameras DO NOT love me unless its a selfie photo with a Snapchat filter that i’m taking of myself lol. I’m no public speaker. And also I still feel like it shouldn’t be me. I mean, it should since I discovered it and put it out there for the masses, but how can I be the face of this? Me, a white girl from small town Pennsylvania, be the face of a covered up slave cemetery? I feel guilty but also I do feel like there is something to white privilege and power and I hope to only use it as a force for good in this world and to help those with less privilege than I where I can. We only live once and I think a whole lot about how I want to be remembered when I am gone. When someone is building houses over my grave. I’d like to know somewhere out there I might be remembered fondly for doing something that was right in this world of wrongs.

I’m terrified to do the story, but I feel like it is my duty now and my responsibility. I am just so scared of fucking it up. What if I say something stupid or that can be taken out of context? This is such a touchy issue after all. I just want to do them justice. God help me. I just want them to be remembered.

[octothorpetopus]

And It Was Not Your Fault But Mine (Aaron Hotchner x Emily Prentiss)

Hotch, Jack, and Emily have formed their own little family. So when Hotch says something he doesn’t mean during an argument, they’re left to rebuild what they had from the ground up.

a/n: I knew there was a reason I put Little Lion Man on my Hotch playlist and it worked out perfectly. also creds to @agenthotchner for the fantastic idea.

taglist: @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @winterscaptain @cha0ticbisexual

The day it begins, Emily is bringing in the last of the boxes from her apartment. Hotch’s apartment is bigger, it’s nicer (it doesn’t have her incredible view of the national mall, but that’s life), and most importantly, it’s where Hotch and Jack are. Right now, they’re sitting on the sofa while she pulls in the last cardboard box of her stuff.

“You could help, you know,” she says, mostly joking.

“Yeah, Jack, go help Emily.” Hotch nudges his son, who jumps off the couch and runs over to Emily.

“Alright, kiddo, you grab that side, and I’ll...” Wobbling, Jack and Emily teeter over to the already shoulder-high stack of boxes. “Aw, nice job, little man!” She crouches and high-fives the five-year-old who has become the closest thing she has to a son. “Hey, Jack, why don’t you look in that box over there?” He opens the flaps of the box she’s pointing at, and pulls out a folded-up scooter in a box. “So next time we go to the park, maybe you can try to keep up with Daddy on his bike.”

“Thanks, mom,” Jack says, and Emily almost faints. Mom? He’s never called her that before, and she doesn’t quite know how to react. Her eyes dart over to Hotch, who hasn’t quite stopped smiling, but looks as if he wants to. Still, he doesn’t say anything.

“Come on, kiddo, it’s time for your nap.” He steers Jack into the hall, away from Emily, and when they’re both out of sight, she collapses onto the floor. What is she supposed to say to that? It shouldn’t be her job, it should be Hotch’s, but still, she feels wrong just letting her boyfriend’s son call her ‘mom’. They’ve been together since before she faked her death and moved to Paris, almost four full years, so it’s not like she hasn’t been involved in raising Jack. But she’s not his mother, and she’s never pretended to be. As someone who was practically raised by nannies, she’s fully aware that just reading bedtime stories, making lunches, putting band-aids on skinned knees, and sharing a bed with a child’s father isn’t enough to make someone a mother (that last one had caused a significant amount of childhood emotional trauma).

But when Hotch comes back from putting Jack down for his nap, he doesn’t say anything. He just smiles at her and opens up another box.

“I’m not sure I have enough cabinet space for your mug collection, Em.”

“Oh, really? But we have room for your stamp collection?”

“Fair.” He kisses the top of her head as he passes her into the kitchen. Things are as normal as ever, which doesn’t surprise Emily when she thinks about it. Hotch generally doesn’t let things get to him, she’s known that as long as they’ve worked together. She imagines that he talked to Jack as he was putting him down for his nap. That must be it, and he assumed Emily was on his same wavelength. Good. Emily wasn’t willing to let this be the thing that drove them, the closest thing she has ever had to a real, functional family.

And that’s the end of it, for a few weeks, anyway. Jack doesn’t call her ‘mom’ again, Hotch doesn’t bring it up, and the three of them are just like normal. Emily’s things slowly assimilate into the environment of the apartment, which she stops thinking of as Hotch’s apartment and more as their apartment. She grows used to walking to work with Hotch in the morning, which she was doing most of the time before anyway. She grows used to getting her coffee from the Starbucks at the end of the block instead of the coffee cart just outside her old apartment, and to taking the train instead of the bus because it’s faster. The one thing she does not grow used to is Hotch. That’s an oversimplification, she accepts his quirks and odd habits, but it’s funny- before they moved in together, Emily thought he might be more forthcoming about his feelings now that he couldn’t just leave when things got heavy. Still, after every argument, big or small, he just smiles that little tight-lipped smile, kisses the top of her head, and pretends like nothing happened.

“You know, Aaron, at some point, you’re going to have to actually resolve an issue instead of just waiting for the argument to fizzle out and then pretend like it didn’t happen,” Emily says one day. She had been bugging him about putting away his go bag in between cases, instead of just leaving it in the living room. They had argued for a few minutes (“It’s a matter of convenience, Em!” “Not really, you’re just being lazy.”) before he had just shook his head and started folding laundry.

“It’s not a big deal, Emily. Move my bag or don’t, I don’t really care either way.” Hotch shrugged, which frustrated her even more.

“Hotch, you can’t be apathetic on every single subject, and you can’t just give up when you get tired of arguing.”

“Why not? These things don’t really matter to me, and when they do, I’m okay compromising.”

“But we’re not compromising, Hotch, you’re just letting me do what I want and taking whatever feelings you have about it and shoving them down and pretending like nothing happened!” He blinks angrily (how that’s even possible, she’s not quite sure), and by now she can tell she’s under his skin.

“Emily, can we not do this? Can we-“ Emily groans and begins pacing.

“Yeah, Hotch, we have to do this! That’s the whole point! You keep saying ‘we’ll do this later’ and then we never do. I want to do this now. Let’s do it, let’s argue, and then when we’re done and we’ve reached an actual conclusion, we won’t have it hanging over our heads!” He stands now too, throwing down the laundry in his hands.

“Because it shouldn’t matter, Emily! I deal with things the way I deal with them, and if you don’t like it, well-“

“Hotch, it’s not me that I’m worried about!” He looks at her, puzzled. “I know you, I’ve known you for years, so I know how you deal with your feelings. And I’m a grown-up, so I can deal with it because I have my own way of dealing with my own feelings.”

“Emily, what the hell is your point?” He’s exasperated, exhausted, and she briefly considers not saying what she wants to say, but still, she says:

“Hotch, what is Jack going to think? If he grows up and instead of seeing his dad express his emotions and deal with his issues, he just sees you push your anger down? What kind of man is he going to grow up to be if he never learns how to feel, because you never taught him?” When she stops pacing and looks back at him, his face has gone deathly still. Narrowing his eyes, he thinks for a minute, and Emily thinks she’s never seen him so angry. Not at her, anyway. It’s a very quiet kind of anger, one that makes her feel cold even though the window is open and it’s 90 degrees outside.

“And why, exactly, do you think you have the right to tell me I’m raising my son wrong? Because, and correct me if I’m wrong, you have no kids. You have never, at any point in time, had kids. You don’t have the right to tell me how to raise my son, because he is my son. My son. His mother was Haley Hotchner, formerly Haley Brooks. She died. Jack is my son, I am his father, and you are not his mother!” Emily stumbles backwards a few steps, her eyes wide. In all the time they’ve been together, in all the time they’ve known each other, he’s raised his voice several times, but never at her. He’s never yelled at her. As soon as he’s finished, he knows what he’s done, he can see it. His hands come up between him and Emily, as if he’s trying to push himself away from her. “Em-“

“No. No.” Emily shakes her head.

“Emily, I’m sorry, I didn’t-“

“You meant it.” She shakes her head and doesn’t quite smile. “You meant every word, Hotch. It’s okay.” She goes to grab her sweatshirt, then remembers how hot it is outside. That, more than anything, makes her want to cry. She’s already ruined her cool, clean walk-out now. Chin tucked against her chest, she brushes past his half-hearted efforts to stop her and leaves, not really sure where she’s going. First things first, she’s going to go get coffee from the cart outside her old apartment.

It’s late when Hotch finally finds her. She doesn’t know if he’s been looking for her all day or if he decided to let her have her space, but she has no new texts and no missed calls. She doesn’t turn to look at him when he sits down beside her, but keeps her eyes fixed on the Washington Monument, illuminated against the darkening sky.

“I’m sorry, Em,” he says finally. She doesn’t respond. “Emily, please. Look at me.”

“I’ve been thinking all day about what I would say to you when I saw you next.” Finally, she turned to face him, sharply wiping tears off her cheeks. “And I still have no idea what to say to you.”

“I’m sorry, Emily.”

“You keep saying that. But just because you’re sorry for hurting me doesn’t mean you didn’t mean what you said.” She sniffs, but composed herself. “Hotch, I know I’m not Jack’s mother. I’m not trying to replace Haley. But we’re a family, the three of us. An odd one, but a family. I take care of your son because I love him, and I love you. So while I might not have given birth to him, do not ever diminish the part I’ve taken in raising him since we got together. I’m not trying to replace Haley, but if you want us to live together, if you want me to be in his and in your life, you have to acknowledge that I have an amount of influence in his life, and I have the right to use that influence. I might not be Jack’s real mother, but I am the closest thing he has to a second parent.”

“I know. I was wrong.” Her eyebrows shoot up. Not at any point in her memory has she ever heard Hotch say anything like that. “Look, Em,” he says, hesitantly putting his hand over hers. “Haley is Jack’s mother, and she always will be. But you’re right. I want you to help me raise my son, and I haven’t given you enough credit for all you’ve done in the time we’ve been together. We are a family, and I had no right to tell you that you don’t get a say in his life, because you are his other parent, and if I marry you-“ her head snaps around to face him, eyes wide. “-which I’m not asking you to do now, but I would like to eventually, you will officially be his parent. I’m still hesitant to refer to you as his mother-“

“I don’t want to be his mother! He can have you, and Haley, and me as his parents.”

“And that’s exactly what we’ll do. He loves you, and I love you, and you should get a say in his life. And you were right that I don’t like to deal with my feelings. I’ll... well, I’ll work on that, but I make no promises.”

“That’s okay, Aaron.” She buries her head in his chest. “We have to work together. From now on, we’re a team.” He kisses the top of her head and then rests his chin on her shoulder.

“Agreed. It’s you, me, and Jack from here on out.”

“I’m good with that.” In the dim light from opposite ends of the National Mall, Emily inhales the crisp night air, mixed in with the smell of Hotch’s cologne, and sighs. Her family. It’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

This was a really fun (and by that I mean deeply angsty) concept for me, so thank you for reading, and I appreciate any comments/feedback you have on it! Also, if you liked it, if you wouldn’t mind giving it a reblog, I would love it. Thank you!!! 💖

[kbstories]

Axiomatic

ax·i·om·at·ic (adj.)

Self-evident; unquestionable.

The best part of battle is the afterparty.

(Or: Remember that banquet Luffy promised? This is it.)

Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Partying

Set in Wano. Spoilers for all of Wano. Read Chapter 2 here.

***

“What do you think?”

Lipstick glides over thin lips, the wax malleable and smooth as it leaves a coat of rusty red in its wake. Killer makes sure it’s perfectly even before he glances elsewhere. In the mirror, Kidd’s face is all scowled impatience.

One last run-down – eyeliner, mascara, lipstick: done, done and done – then Killer grabs the mask waiting for him. “Alright, let me see.”

Their eyes meet and Killer sighs. Metal over skin-and-bone, Kidd’s arms are crossed; his shaved brows push together further. As if Killer doesn’t indulge his every whim by the regular.

“I’m looking. Show me again.”

Kidd grumbles, “Watch.” He opens his arms, reveals an unbuttoned shirt tucked into his favorite patterned pants, glinting gold over black under a double-belted cinch at the waist. So far, so very Kidd.

No, the point of discussion is the frankly massive coat slung across his neck: Nice soft-looking suede on the outside and glossy-grey fur on the inside, it hugs Kidd’s shoulders in all the right places to then cascade down his back in a display of near-ridiculous opulence.

Extravagant, over-the-top, flashy. It’s hard to tell which type of animal had to die for this. There must be a lot less of ‘em now, with this monstrosity in the world.

Kidd is swiveling it back and forth with critical glances to the mirror, the coat wooshing with the motions. Killer takes in the fluid glide of fur over Kidd’s exposed chest, the contrast of impeccable couture against jagged scars. Loses himself for a moment or two imagining how it would feel like to run his hands over both.

An appreciative hum. In Killer’s educated opinion, Kidd looks damn near sinful.

“Yeah?”, Kidd asks and Killer nods. “Yeah. Heh, told ya the detour’s worth it.”

Perhaps it was, although sifting through Onigashima’s treasury whilst bleeding all over heaps of shiny expensive everything might’ve been a case of skewed priorities. There’s no need to talk about what-could-have-beens, though – they’re here, they’re rich and they’re long overdue at Strawhat’s banquet.

Killer’s practically done, tight jeans under a shirt that’s done up to the third button and left to flare open otherwise. It’s not his old favorite (that one stopped fitting him a good year ago) but similar enough, patterned in geometric black-and-white shapes. Definitely one of his fancier ones, not that anyone will care one way or the other where they’re going.

It’s… been a while since it’s been anyone other than them and their crew. Pirates are pirates, allied or no; Killer eyes the scythes neatly stored next to the bed.

Kidd is touching up his lips one last time, the same shade as Killer’s. “Bring ‘em. That Roronoa guy keeps throwing you weird looks and I’m not allowed to kill him.”

Yet goes implied. Killer isn’t wearing his mask and so he doesn’t roll his eyes. “He’s got every reason to”, he reminds his captain, focusing on the heavy clasps of his weapons to keep the memories at bay. The red mark on his chest stings, stuck in the limbo between a healing wound and a fresh scar for a few days still.

A testament to his failure that Killer won’t hide. If Zoro hadn’t stopped him that day his hands would be stained with blood that cannot be washed off, not entirely.

Kidd’s eyes are on him, dark. “I don’t care.”

Resentful as always. Killer reaches for him, digs his fingers into the fluffy lining of that coat and oh, the fur is as soft as it looks. “I do, though.” A firm tug, one Kidd follows until Killer can kiss him, careful not to smudge anything.

“No killing of allies today, ‘kay? We just came back from a war. The crew’s tired. I’m tired.”

“Mh” is all Kidd has to say to that, a grumpy huff against Killer’s lips more than anything. Kidd does give him a proper kiss, however, and Killer knows he won this one.

All he can ask of Kidd is to try, anyways – with two equally hot-headed captains and a whole host of morons around to rile him up, there’s bound to be blood eventually. The trick is to make sure everyone’s drunk enough not to take it too personally.

A pinch to his ass tells Killer he was caught scheming. Kidd smirks, tells him, “We’re getting wasted tonight”, all triumphant like it’s the best idea he’s had all week, and Killer doesn’t miss the emphasis on we.

“Two Emperors down! Strawhat better bring the good stuff tonight or this alliance is over.”

Killer groans, “Kidd”, but he’s smiling, too. Before he can be called out on it, Killer shoves his mask into Kidd’s hands, metal clanking against metal. “Make yourself useful. We’re late.”

Kidd’s laugh is more of a cackle than anything else – “Yes, darling”, said in that sarcastic lilt Killer knows all too well – yet Kidd complies. His hands, organic or otherwise, handle the mask they’ve built with care and precision. Soon, Killer’s vision is narrowed down to dots, the audio filter of his helmet kicking in soon after.

Killer rolls his neck and hums, satisfied. “Ready?”

Kidd throws a final look at himself in the mirror, grinning into the collar of his new coat.

“Hell yeah. Let’s go.”

*

The banquet is a sprawling, messy affair that swallows the entirety of the ramshackle village the Strawhats picked as their home in Wano Country.

From the moment the Kidd Pirates get there they are surrounded. Wherever Killer's eyes roam there are knots of people drinking, eating, laughing and crying, sometimes simultaneously – there, at the heart of it all where the crowd is thickest, burns the largest bonfire Killer has seen in a while, perhaps ever. Smiling faces all around and for once, it doesn’t make Killer’s stomach drop because they’re genuine.

Survivors of SMILE just like him, caught in the rush of real emotions for the first time in who knows how long. Killer has a pretty good idea how that feels like.

Next to him, Kidd is so tense he’s stalking, gaze intense, oozing Haki to keep people away; Wire’s hand is clenched to bloodlessness around his trident while Heat exhales a bit of smoke with every breath and yeah, Killer gets it. Can’t help it himself, either, scythes kept close to his sides to make sure they’re there.

The thing is: They don’t do these kinds of things. Parties, yes, many and often but not like this. Killer can count on one hand the amounts of times the population of any island was actually happy to see them, much less willing to send them off with one big feast.

Actually, he wouldn’t need to count at all because it’s simply never happened. Even filtered by his mask it’s… a lot to take in at once.

The entire damn country is here, it seems, all breathing a collective sigh of relief so monumental the air itself carries their joy. For all that the Kidd Pirates were in this for revenge and glory, Killer can’t deny it’s rewarding to see a nation so ravaged by an Emperor’s greed do whatever they want for the first time in decades.

Finally, a few familiar faces start popping up. Some of the samurai greet them with nods of their heads, overly formal like the people from Wano tend to be; here and there they spot the distinctly branded yukata the members of Trafalgar’s crew are wearing and, rarer but all the more noticeable, those animal people Strawhat dragged along from somewhere.

Minks? Or something? Killer is inclined to say it doesn’t matter if they didn’t have the habit to jump on them out of fucking nowhere. Looking for bone-crushing hugs and wet-nosed kisses, of all things, and– Oh no, he did not sign up for this.

Much less for whatever that group of cat minks are gearing up to, staring at the holes in his mask with eyes nearly swallowed by black, round pupils. Killer is absolutely, solidly convinced he doesn’t even want to know what that’s all about.

“Captain.”

And yeah, his tone is a little more alarmed than he truly means it to be. It gets Kidd’s attention, though – himself having fought off a dog mink enamored with his metal arm not too long ago – and he barks a laugh even when he ramps up his presence to an almost stifling degree.

“C’mon, I feel Strawhat up ahead.”

To nobody’s surprise, they find him smack dab in the middle of everything. Strawhat and his crew are lounging around the bonfire, there’s no other way to describe it: All broad smiles and flushed faces amidst the chaos, completely in their element, and it’s hard to tell if it’s the closeness to the bonfire or the vaguely impressive amounts of empty bottles lying around already. They’re certainly boisterous enough for it to be the latter, even Jinbei.

And no, Killer hasn’t quite processed that turn of events yet. The strangeness of seeing someone of that caliber wheeze into his mug with laughter as his (new?) captain takes a disturbingly big bite out of an even bigger chunk of meat is… not helping things, in that regard.

What a bunch of weirdos. In the safety of his mask, Killer allows himself a small smile.

From here the flames seem to reach for the sky, tinged in warm pinks and oranges by the sinking sun and there, very faintly, Killer can make out the first stars. He can’t remember ever seeing them, not with the factories running over night as well.

“Spikey!!”

Ah. Killer’s head turns with Kidd’s and it’s a good thing, too, because there’s a stretched arm coming for his captain – Kidd bites out, “Nope, no, Strawhat”, red eyes going wide – and Killer manages to side-step it in the last possible second. One, twice it wraps around Kidd, fancy coat and all, and then the rubber recoils.

“Killer!”

Oh my, Killer thinks mildly as he watches him go. Behind him, half their crew is flabbergasted and the other half is in stitches. “Captain’s gonna be in such a mood”, Heat says to Wire, and it just sends them into another fit of chuckles.

For Killer, finding a drink becomes his top priority. So much for keeping things peaceful.

>>Chapter 2.

[thebachelordiaries]

Clare seeks HIMBO: ‘The Bachelorette’ cast first impressions

The Covid-19 pandemic has been rough for the entire world, but Bachelor Nation faced some dark days too. Going eight months without a single new episode from The Bachelor franchise is something I would really like to not relive.

Fortunately, those dark days are over. Clare’s season has me sucked back in. 

The quality of this image is atrocious.

Most of these men—presuming they followed CDC’s social distancing guidelines— haven’t seen a woman in months, are touch deprived, possibly unemployed and contemplating moving back to their hometown while stalking the housing market on Zillow. Everyone’s desperate. That makes for some pretty good TV.

This season features men ranging from ages 26 to 41. We’ve got a boy band manager, a grooming specialist, several men who look like they masturbate in front of full length mirrors and even more who probably want me to join their MLM pyramid scheme. 

I’ve never been more ready to roast a bunch of men who have nightmares about going bald. It’s all I’ve wanted to do since March.

Let’s go:

AJ, 28, Software sales

AJ is the kind of guy who writes “Looking for the Pam to my Jim <3″ on his Bumble profile. His bio is generic and probably not reflective of who he is as a person. If I were Clare I’d swipe left.

Ben, 29, Army ranger veteran

“Ben's favorite indulgence is an ice bath.“ Well then.

Alexa, play “Run” by AWOLNATION.

Bennett, 36, Wealth management consultant

Bennett’s profile is the biggest red flag I’ve ever seen. This man says he is the total package but hasn’t always been "this successful and good looking.” But wait, there’s more: “According to Bennett, his high school girlfriend is the only girl he's ever had to work for.“

Can someone tell me what NYC neighborhood he lives in so I can blacklist it?

Blake M1, 31, Male grooming specialist

Blake’s just another stereotypical “29th round draft pick who sat on the bench of the practice team before getting cut, but claims he left the sport due to an injury on his own accord.” 

Blake M2, 29, Wildlife manager

This Blake is an outdoorsy Canadian who seems pretty genuine and cool. Unfortunately, he has the face of someone who’d get sent home on night one. I hope I’m wrong.

Brandon, 28, Real Estate Agent

Just another boring hot person. Nothing to see here.

Brendan, 30, Commercial roofer

Brandan, not to be confused for Brandon, “loves some good true crime, working out and hanging out with his friends.” I can’t even make fun of this man. We have the exact same interests. 

Chasen, 31, IT account executive

The Winklevoss twins are actually triplets and Chasen is their long lost brother. But more seriously, have you ever seen someone who looks more like their name than this man?

Chris, 27, Landscape design salesman

“Chris hopes to find a woman who is sharp and witty but also easygoing.” Chris, sweetheart, have you met Clare? Easygoing...? There’s still time back out of this before it’s too late.

Dale, 31, Former pro football wide receiver

Dale aggressively screams “Bachelor material.” I’d say he’s auditioning for that role but Matt James already scooped it up. Better luck next year, Daley.

Demar, 26, Spin cycling instructor

Demar is a “very popular spin instructor in Scottsdale and says he can get on that bike and spin to any beat thrown his way.” Imagine how many trophy wives Demar has f*cked? 

Eazy, 29, Sports marketing agent

Eazy is very similar to Dale on paper. Except his name is Eazy so he automatically loses that battle.

Ed, 33, Health care salesman

“Ed is looking to find a woman who has natural beauty without looking overly fake.” Ed deserves to die alone.

Garin, 34, Professor of Journalism

Garin’s bio is giving me hubby material vibes. And maybe a little bit of a “gets eliminated on night one” vibe too.

Ivan, 28, Aeronautical Engineer

Ivan, what are you doing here? We’re in a recession. Please go back to your normal job before it’s too late. 

Jason, 31, Former pro football linemen

“He is a former NFL offensive lineman who, after suffering too many concussions on the field, decided to prioritize his health and change the direction of his life.” A big, brawny HIMBO with CTE? I feel like he’s Clare’s type.

Jay, 29, Fitness director

There are too many things about Jay that I dislike and I’m trying to keep this brief. Jay says “it's time to take a break from worrying about others and focus on himself instead.” I am willing to bet money that this man has never made a woman c*m.

Jeremy, 40, Banker

Jeremy is the oldest contestant ever to come on "The Bachelorette,” which may seem like a monuments accomplishment but he’s literally only one year older than Clare. 

He also “hates Instagram models, both male and female,” so he should have a lot of fun here.

Joe, 36, Anesthesiologist

Before I even saw his profession and location, I thought Joe looked like a doctor I’d find on a NYC dating app...and...uh...I probably did see him on there now that I think about it.

Anyway, this man has apparently been through seven stages of hell while on the front lines fighting Covid-19 in NYC so I definitely think he deserves to find love. Someone marry him please.

Jordan C, 26, Software account executive

I can already tell Jordan is going to get the “I’m young but mature” edit which means he’s probably not going to be good TV.

Too bad someone a tad younger (like Tayshia) wasn’t the Bachelorette. I feel like they’d make a cute couple.

Jordan M., 30, Cyber security engineer

I was going to say something mean but Jordan’s into cyber security and I don’t want my blog to be deactivated, so never mind. Cast photos are historically bad so I’m sure he looks much better in real life.

Kenny, 39, Boy band manager

I could go for the obvious drags regarding this man’s profession (or his sh*tty chest tattoo, or his suspiciously boyish face relative to his age), but I like to think I’m more clever than that. 

I’d like to take this time to talk about men, who are obviously difficult people, who rant and rave about how they want an “easygoing” woman. Look into the mirror, bud. No, not the one you use to jerk off to your reflection; the mirror that looks into your soul. Out of respect for the rest of humankind, have some self-awareness. Or maybe just see a therapist.

Mike, 38, Digital media advisor

Mike is seemingly a decent catch, but I can’t help but wonder why he’s still single or how he never (accidentally or on purpose) impregnated a woman in his 38 years of life. 

And now that I’m thinking about it, do any of these men have children? I have yet to see any mention of it in their bios. But there are eight men left to review, so there’s still time.

Page, 37, Chef

I spoke too soon. Page is a father! He also hates football! I’m a fan of this man. I was initially going to drag him for his name and say that Page is not a real name. PAIGE is a real name. PAGE is a piece of paper. I’m allowed to say this because we have the same name except mine is spelled the correct way. Based on my (mostly positive) review of his cast bio, I have decided not to hold his name against him.

Riley, 30, Long Island City

Riley, once married with children, would like to go on a family vacation that consists of touring every single MLB stadium in the country. If i were his wife, I would simply never give this man children.

Robby, 30, Insurance broker

No more Robbys on The Bachelorette. Society has evolved past its need for more Robbys.

This Robby described his dream woman as: “Incredibly athletic and able to throw back a few beers with him after a day of hiking. She has a sweet personality and won't mind that he spends his Sundays on the golf course.”

Someone please give this man a sex doll. He just wants a hole.

Tyler C., 27, Lawyer

“Tyler C. is a badass lawyer who says he is a businessman by day and a cowboy by night.” How does that make him a lawyer? Does this mean he’s into cosplay? I’m confused.

Tyler S., 36, Music manager

Tyler makes an honorable living off riding his brother’s dick success as a country singer. “He just LOVES his job!” Uh yeah, I would too if I had a low-show, high-paying job off the merits of nepotism. It’s the American dream.

Yosef, 30, Medical device salesman

Another dad! He’s totally going to pull the “girl dad” narrative. That saying is kind of sexist to me but the masses generally eat it up, so I’m fairly confident Yosef will get the "sweet guy” edit he’s looking for.

Zac C., 36, Addiction specialist

“He loves Philadelphia sports and dreams of sharing a Philly Cheesesteak with his future wife while watching the Eagles win a Super Bowl.” This man is so South Jersey it hurts. 

On a more serious note, I don’t think anyone in recent history has spoken openly about their personal struggle with addiction on this show, so I hope Zac gets a chance to tell his story. 

Zach J., 37, Cleaning service owner

Zach is seemingly obsessed with Clare already and hopes to introduce her to his mom as his fiancée. Since Zach watched Clare on Juan Pablo’s season, you’d think he’d know that Clare would first meet his mom during the final four hometown dates. Assuming he makes it that far. My prediction is that he won’t.

Final thoughts

After eight long months Bachelor Mondays are back!!!

Uhh....wait.

Actually, we now have the less-exciting Bachelor Tuesdays. Yeah, it definitely doesn’t have the same ring to it. But I’ll take anything at this point.

Here are my final predictions:

First impression rose: Dale. It just looks like he can turn on the bullsh*t charm

Final rose: Jason. Clare wants a HIMBO I just know it.

Bachelor: nobody (Matt James is The Bachelor)

Most likely to get engaged on Bachelor in Paradise: Blake M2

Most likely to get canceled online: Bennett

Most likely to get sent home night one but deserve better: Chris

Who are your favorite men cast on this season?