#Ya'll real funny.

[humming-fly]

the new chapter of @post-it-notes7‘s In Your Dreams be like 

[girlyliondragon]

Tumblr proving they are the fakest old men fuckers lmao

"I want to fuck that old man" okay but would you actually do it? That's the gamechanger, it's easy to say that. You gonna fuck that old man? Oh? You have a problem with women actually fucking that old man? Sounds like you never actually wanted to do that and are just being quirkly hrmmmmmmmmmmmmm-

/nbh

[pinkportrait]

I-

[taasgirl]

blame - driver!reader x grid

summary: driver!reader goes to war protecting her teammate and best friend, max verstappen.

a/n: this is NOT a romance smau!!

liked by user76, user98, and 6, 872, 014 others f1 Following a breach of conditions set by the FIA, Max Verstappen will serve a mandatory community service period.

tagged: maxverstappen1

ynusername just say ya'll can't handle him and move on!!!

user27 be careful y/n, they'll send you too user46 HAHA SHE'S SO REAL

user51 this is so stupid

user90 who decided this???

user75 Okay I understand him getting community service for the Ocon incident, but for swearing?

user21 they're treating max like he's a child

liked by oscarpiastri, redbullracing, and 2, 379, 918 others ynusername unbothered, moisturised, and definitely plotting to overthrow the fia!

tagged: maxverstappen1

user59 My dreams 5 minutes before my alarm:

user61 y/n and max are never beating the platonic soulmates allegations

user87 Get yourself a teammate that fights the FIA on your behalf @/estebanocon

maxverstappen1 I was going to say something nice then I saw the last photo.

ynusername pls still compliment me x

oscarpiastri I agree with the caption

landonorris ur too ashy to be moisturised

view ynusername's story...

caption only the FIA could ruin a beautiful flight @/alex_albon

liked by carlossainz55, alex_albon, and 1, 256, 280 others ynusername me and bro suiting up to destroy the FIA

tagged: carlossainz55, landonorris

lewishamilton This is why you're my favourite on the grid

ynusername this is why you're the 🐐

oscarpiastri Hey I hope you were joking when you said you'd be turning into a grid terror haha (please be joking)

ynusername don't worry ur safe xx

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS Y/N???

landonorris If me and my gang pull up ahh post

ynusername yup you're now my number one target for unironically using 'ahh'

maxverstappen1 I hope I am bro

ynusername there's no one i'd rather serve community service with

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, lewishamilton, and 3, 287, 3389 others ynusername don't worry I won't actually replicate crashgate. however, please know that I have free reign over my radio xx

landonorris Thank god u had me scared for a minute

user49 y/n is taking this too far 😭

ynusername oh i can go further if needed

lewishamilton HAHA this is gold y/n

ynusername when I have the praise of sir lewis hamilton then I know that I'm doing something right

user20 OMG Y/N GOING INSANE ON RADIO IS A NEEEED

user91 y/n is the only reason i'm tuning in this weekend

view ynusername's story...

caption: I have some business to attend to this sunday afternoon

liked by user62, user87, and 209, 557 others f1updates Not shy on the radio so far! Y/N on the formation lap, and she'd already quizzing her engineer.

user83 she's so unserious i love her

user90 This is my sign to strictly watch her onboard today

user41 y/n really is going to put on a show huh

liked by user 34, user75, and 1, 722, 981 others f1updates A few of the unhinged thing's Y/N was saying during today's race. Safe to say that she may be sporting a ban for the next race.

user38 her engineer replying with 'affirm' is so fucking funny to me

user92 And ya'll still wonder why she's my fave driver

user47 THE WAY THIS ISN'T EVEN EVERYTHING SHE SAID

user28 what else did she say??

user47 @/user28 she went on a whole tangent about how stroll is a prick that shouldn't be in f1 😭😭

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, and 3, 615, 248 others ynusername FIA knew I'd be too powerful for another race (hey at least bestie doesn't have to do community service).

maxverstappen1 You're insane I love you

ynusername dinner is still on you right?

landonorris NOOOOOO RIP Y/N

ynusername bitch i'm still alive

oscarpiastri Welcome back Kevin Magnussen liked by ynusername

redbullracing She might be crazy, but she's our kind of crazy!

ynusername pls keep me employed ya'll

view landonorris's story...

caption Yes, she still has the helmet on

view maxverstappen1's story...

caption Okay time for us to get to work

eeee i hope you guys liked this, please let me know if you did!

[chaostudee]

the boy is mine, lando norris

summary : y/n is a famous influencer dating lando norris renowned f1 driver. their relationship is very much in the public eye so when photos start to circulate y/n shuts them down. faceclaim : dina denoire warnings : none a/n : tysm for all the love on my recent posts!! hope you like this one xx

y/nusername a love letter to summer 🌺

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, maxverstappen and 1,910,117 others.

user7282 ugh just them

f1fan this is what keeps me going through the summer break

landonorris ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux the most gorgeous <3

user1000 so aesthetic wtf

y/nlover we need a new vlog or grwm

username_527 yesss 🙌🙌 y/nusername soon ;)

carmenmundt so obsessed with you

landonorris my muse

liked by y/nusername, oscarpiastri, charlesleclerc and 3,456,890 others.

user611 screaming crying throwing up

f1fan518 need me a man like this cause whaaaat

username_56 what if i actually just layed on the highway tonight :)

charlesleclerc mate what camera is this??? like the quality is crazy

landonorris sony ZV-1F compact camera

f1lover ugh they are acc so adorbs

user729 i don't know who i want to be more

y/nusername summer dump pt2

quadrant new video out now ! lie detector with lando norris

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, f1fan_2 and 400,511 others.

y/nusername that's my man 😩

user82 yes queen you tell em !!!! f1fanlover me if i was a wag fr f1wagupdates she us a queen, she is a legend and she is the moment.

username omg this video was so funny pls

maxfewtrell y/n asked me to make sure this was one of the questions

y/nusername bro

y/nusername new video up on tiktok !!

》 username1 to be you

》 user619 first !!!

》 f1wags we need the lip combo plsss

》 user112 my idol

f1wagupdates new quadrant merch collection featuring y/n !!

liked by f1lover, user728, f1fan719 and 122,916 others.

user13 omgg this is everything

f1lover IM OBSESSED

y/nlover im brokeee nooo

user710 oh yes this is an actual slay

f1fan my parents

landonorris back at it ⛳️

》 carlossainz did u acc get it in the hole this time ??

》 y/nusername my pretty boy

》 maxfewtrell still better than you mate

y/nusername night out 🥂

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmundt and 2,719,55 others.

alexandrasaintmleux literally a goddess

carmenmundt miss you gorgeous girl <3

landonorris that's my girl

y/nusername mwah

f1lover so naturally pretty

user745 dress from where???

y/nusername meshki xx

username810 she's such a girls girls i love ittt

landonorris

f1updates lando norris spotted at club in monaco with mystery girl !!

liked by f1username, lando4eva, user728 and 78,910 others.

user717 THIS CAN'T BE REAL OMG

user8282 I NEED A CONFIRMATION BECAUSE WTFFF

f1lover i rly hope it's not him.....

f1fan i'm trying so hard to be positive but it might acc be lando i'm acc going insane

user52 guys we can't even properly see his face don't overreact.

y/nusername the boy is mine

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux,maxverstappen and 5,663,523 others.

landonorris forever and always x

maxverstappen congrats you guys

alexandrasaintmleux so happy for you <33

carmenmundt oh i am so ready for this wedding

oscarpiastri congratulations !!!

georgerussell little lando norris is not so little anymore.

user728 i'm speechless

username22 told you they were just rumours

f1lover_21 no like fr people will belive anything.

f1wagupdates crying acc

user000 she shut all the rumours down, what a queen

username_33 my parents are acc getting married ya'll i'm not okay

taglist ⭑.ᐟ

@lottalove4evelyn

@hadidsworld

@llando4norris

@mxryxmfooty

@sweetestgirlintown111

[lorarri]

★ . . . 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 , 𝐉𝐁𝟓

summary , the daughter of lewis hamilton and a 3 time f1 world champion life is pretty great especially now that you have found a special someone

pairing , jude bellingham x fem! hamilton! redbull! f1 driver! reader

main masterlist | football masterlist

yourinstagram . 4hrs ago

seen by lewishamilton judebellingham 76,389,589 others

yourinstagram

liked by lewishamilton judebellingham 102,890,199 others

yourinstagram winter break photodump pt. 5

view comments

user my wife is a madrid...I don't know what to do with why self now

user stay away from my wifey mr. hey jude lookin ass

user MR BELLINGHAM WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

user it couple is cookin ya'll

user love that mother is living her best life

user bae wake up Y/N posted a winter break photo dump

user OKAY BUT THAT LAST PIC EXCUSE ME?!?!?!

user madam who got you those flowers

user jude better be careful or papa hamilton gonna have his head if he even thinks about trying anything with his daughter

user why am I kinda living from the idea of these two being a couple

user are you dating jude?

user Y/N come home the kids miss you

user 4th wdc pending...

user so we all know who the guy in the last slide is right?

user love my soon to be parents

user the queen soft launching wasn't on my 2024 bingo card

view more comments

TRENTSKI

JUDITH

EXPLAIN YOUR SELF

JUDITH

huh?

RICE RICE BABY

did you really think you could sneek your way into Y/N Hamilton's ig dump and we wouldn't find out?

JUDITH

yes?

SANCHOOOO

SO YOU ADMIT IT

IT IS YOU

MEEK MEALS

glad you finally got together

I was getting sick and tired of you talking about her 24/7

JACK RABBIT

I'm surprised he even got the strength to talk to her

STAR BOY

right?

his brain normally turns to mush when ever her name is mentioned

proud of you bro

JUDITH

thx kyo

I always knew you were a real one

TRENTSKI

damn I see how it is then....

RICE RICE BABY

trents going dark lads

in his sad girl era

PHIL CHEESE STAKE

so wait who knows about you 2 being together?

SANCHOOOO

besides the entire intent after that photo dump?

MEEK MEALS

LMFAOOO

STAR BOY

tell lewis he's the goat

JUDITH

hahah funny

let us have our damatic soft launch

obvi you guys know

the only others that know are max, sebastian, and charles

I'll let lewis know when he figures out I'm dating his daughter this Saturday

JACK RABBIT

mate your fucked

TRENTSKI

DAMN

secret forbbiden romance

didn't know you were built like that jude

MEEK MEALS

what do you mean Lewis fucking Hamilton doesn't know you are dating HIS DAUGHTER

SANCHOOOO

pray for jude guys

these might be his last days with us

STAR BOY

he shall be missed

JACK RABBIT

dw jude I'll delete your search history of you stalking Y/N's ig and twitter

JUDITH

thanks guys...

wiss me luck

TRENTSKI

break a leg

RICE RICE BABY

don't die

MEEK MEALS

good luck

SANCHOOOO

you going to die

STAR BOY

what colour coffin do you want?

I'm thinking bright pink and rinestones

JACK RABBIT

do you need a get away driver?

PHIL CHEESE STAKE

before you die get me and ronnie a hat singed by Y/N and Lewis

JUDITH

I feel so loved rn

yourinstagram . 4hrs ago

seen by lewishamilton maxverstappen1 98,328,479 others

lewishamilton replied to your story!

he's a good lad

but if he hurt's you

winning a trohpy will be the last of his concern

okay dad I'll relay that message to him

good

also don't forget to use projection...

DAD OMG STOP

carlossainz55 replied to your story!

¡HALA MADRID!

maxverstappen1 replied to your story!

Christian is asking if Jude wants to come to the team dinner before the livery launch?

also if he hurts you I will run him over with our matching aston martins

landonorris replied to your story!

what does he smell like?

[takes1]

p. 4 bratty tsukishima x manager!reader enemies to lovers

thank you so much @v15aexe for giving me that suggestion! i tried my best to honor it and make it feel as organic as possible! and thanks to everyone who's supported this little series :) next part should be heavy nsfw. lmk if ya'll want any other series/characters in my requests

warnings. sfw somehow again idk how this keeps happening to me. minors DNI

details. sfw? / build-up to nsfw / PDA / during: training camp arc / first kiss / jealous!tsukki / stupidshima / needyshima / suggestive petting / kuroo rizz / hand holding / unspoken feelings / communication / obsessed tanaka/nishinoya / 2k words

🤍 kei series. part one / part two / part three / final part / reply and get added to the taglist to get notifs for the last part!

more links. my ao3, my other stuff. request box. haikyuu collection

Tsukishima couldn't believe that it was so dark outside when he left the gym. This training camp would be the death of him.

Dreary and a bit dehydrated, he stepped to the doorway and looked at the surrounding gym-trailers, envious of all the ones that were dark and unoccupied.

His eyes naturally landed on one that was still in-use, though.

Kuroo, who had left early for unspecified reasons, was chatting you up with an unmistakable rizz charisma at the entrance.

You (the now-specified reason) looked downright delighted to be talking to him.

Tsukishima bit the inside of his cheek, heart racing, and barely noticed Bokuto's heavy shoulder slap on the way out of their gym.

"Yeah," He gave a half-cocked, hardly engaged smile and it fell right away.

Bokuto looked over his shoulder for a moment with a confused look- he said nothing to warrant a 'yeah,' but the thousand-yard stare across the kid's face was enough for even him to understand it was out of his paygrade to pry. He continued walking back to his own lodging, quickly becoming absentminded once more.

His immediate reaction at this discomfort was to roll his eyes, put his shoes on, and step out onto the concrete, facing the way back.

Your sweet laugh rang in his ears as he did this.

He looked back, and the older, better in now every way version of himself was brimming with pride that you found him funny.

His dignity couldn't take another beating today. He'd never be able to look you in the eye if he let this one go.

A newfound swiftness in his legs carried him three trailers down to where the light was pouring out into the dark night, blocked only by now: three shadows.

"-that was real sexy-- U-hum, admirable when you told your team off like that today," His fake 'slip-up' had you blushing from ear to ear, hands folded neatly in front of you.

The sly way he lowered his voice to just above a mutter was reminiscent of pillow-talk. He was undeniably smooth and radiated confidence. Even the successfully casual manner in which he leaned against the doorway to both get closer to you and to come across as more conversational.

You corrected him, pushing down his hand; he was about move some of your hair, so you moved it yourself.

You were keeping a polite distance both physically and verbally, "If this is your way of getting intel, you'd be barking up the wrong tree."

Unfazed, he took your hand in his effortlessly, "The only intel I need is your number."

When you took a breath to deny him that for the fourth time, you jumped at Tsukishima's haunted appearance just coming into the light.

Kuroo looked back and nearly jumped out of his skin with an uncool yelp- he quickly covered it with a, "Fuck--! Four-Eyes! You scared the absolute shit out of me."

He caught his breath, holding his chest, "You look like a damn ghost."

You laughed, sharing an entertained glance with Tsukishima, but saw that he was much less delighted to be standing there.

He crafted something on the spot, monotone and sounding just as disinterested as usual, "Coach needs you back at the dorm. It's getting late."

"Oh," You threw a look back to Hinata and Kageyama, who were still practicing, "I was just making sure these two got back in one piece. And- at a decent... time."

You checked your watch and realized it wasn't exactly a decent time anymore.

As you called out to the two still inside, Tsukishima and Kuroo stood in front of each other and crossed their arms with identical scowls.

Kuroo knew that face well. He'd seen it many times with other guys. The 'Go Away, Stop Talking to Her' stare. But he'd place good money on the fact that Tsukishima didn't even know it was a thing.

Even though he was just a freshman, and even though you were too damn good-looking to be Karasuno's manager, and even though he scared him- he took pity on him.

So he let up, but not without one last punch.

"I hope Bokuto grilled you enough while I was gone," He smirked, "You'll need to step it up for tomorrow's match, Tsukki."

There was a slight drop from the gym to the concrete. Tsukishima held his hand out for you to hop down with, and with a look he didn't return, you decided to take it and fixed your shoes.

"I plan to."

You felt a chill between them and had zero desire to intervene. Kuroo seemed to give a subtle, proud smile.

"Good."

The walk back was dead silent. It was slowly suffocating you, nagging at you like flies to just say something about what happened between you.

The pace wasn't fast, but it wasn't slow. And the accommodated lodging wasn't too far off from the lined-up gyms, so you both felt the opportunity growing smaller and smaller.

"It's nice seeing you stay for solo practice."

He said nothing.

"And- you've been getting better."

He scoffed, "Tell me that when we're not hitting penalty sprints after every match."

You smiled. It was quiet again.

"I will."

He looked down at you, brows raised, softer now. He realized how mean he sounded and couldn't take it back. There were a lot of things he couldn't take back.

That feeling helped him not shut down your candid question.

"So, what was that? Back there?"

His response was careful and slow. You were waiting on your toes for each following word.

"I guess-... I'm- surprised."

"What do you mean?"

"That you'd-- entertain that. You're not the type."

"You should be more careful putting girls in boxes, Tsukki-" The nickname just slipped out. You felt your face get warmer.

He stayed silent, though. You couldn't read him no matter how hard you tried.

You continued, treading lightly, "I... I don't know, it is nice being fawned over. It's flattering, at least."

The "Yeah," he choked out sounded like he'd gotten stabbed through the middle with a serrated knife- and you just twisted it.

"Much easier than having to deal with some jackass that doesn't know how to talk to me."

A surprised half-laugh, half-scoff left his lips at your brash comment.

"Really." He rolled his eyes, heart sinking, and regretting just about every moment between you. Especially that out-of-body shit he pulled back there.

"But," You leaned to look at him and found it nearly impossible.

He was staring at the sky. He really did look in pain.

"I wouldn't say I prefer it," A smile crept over your lips, a small laugh at how absurd your own words sounded, "It's not interesting enough."

His Adam's apple bobbed and his jaw worked. He was already at rock-bottom, so there was nothing to hide.

Another sigh-laced response, "What... would you prefer?"

The shared dormitories were approaching closer. You began to mosey, your footfalls with more time between them, smaller distance, in the hopes that you could steal more time alone. It was such a warm night and you were craving to get under a fan, but sweating out in this muggy, paved path had steady-growing appeal.

"Tall," You started to list, struggling to keep a nervous, yet amused grin down, "Blond,"

He finally looked down at you.

His eyes were glossy under his glasses. There was no such smile on his face, but his chest rose and fell faster.

"Intelligent, but-," You stopped and he followed your lead without a moment's hesitation. The pause felt right because now, the street light next to your housing was setting between you in a warm, flickering glow, "Somehow incredibly stupid."

An unfiltered laugh broke his melancholic silence and it was the most beautiful sound you could've asked for.

"Mean," You felt inclined to include through his bout of relieved laughter, "But- secretly really thoughtful, and sweet. And a really cute laugh."

You giggled with him, giddy and incredibly apprehensive as you took his hand. He laced his fingers through yours and your tummy started to dance with a billion butterflies.

Another tentative, gentle hand found its rightful place on your waist.

"I'm sorry," He muttered, "About... everything."

Crystal clear feelings of guilt flashed across his face, despite holding you, your admission, and his reparations today. His insecurities really did manage to worm their way back in.

"I thought it was pretty clear that I forgave you," You grinned, squinting up at him, "But since you're so stupid-,"

He smiled and looked away, shy.

"I guess I have to tell you directly that," You grabbed his chin to force him look at you, "I forgive you."

Those eyes were beyond complex. His charged, but needy stare sent a shiver down your spine and made your knees so weak that you were appreciative he pulled you closer to his chest.

You knew he didn't know how to kiss.

So you made the first move- a soft hand to the side of his face to guide him down, and a gentle, barely-there, slow peck. He started to kiss back, but it was over before he got the proper chance to try.

"One more," He breathed, the tiniest smirk covering a bottomless desire for you.

He could hardly form a kiss through his smiling, you weren't sure if he was really even trying on the second time he asked for another.

You leaned up for a third, hand at last unlacing from his, and slid to the base of his neck for a subtle pull for control. A deeper, much better kiss ensued as the result of this direction.

That unsure hand on your waist gripped harder with growing certainty- his thumb wrapped forward around your hip and squeezed, sending a shock throughout your body that left you tugging at the roots of his hair.

"Mmn," You buzzed against him and, a bit breathless, sucked a small, red spot to his jaw when you couldn't keep kissing him anymore.

"Ye-ah-" You seethed, brow knotted, "We can't do this here."

He was panting at the loss of your touch and your pretty voice. He nodded dumbly but didn't move.

You carefully guided his hand off of yours, holding it for a moment, and smiled at his dazed expression for all it was worth.

Your timing couldn't have been better. Just as you climbed the first steps to get into the building, Tanaka burst through the door in a fury.

"(Y/N)!! Where were you?! I'vebeenworriedsick!" He cried, only just barely drowning out the rapid, thundering of footsteps (interrupted only briefly with a crash and resulting shout) from your other personal fan, Nishinoya, who burst through the door in an identical fashion-- "Thank GOD!"

They both collapsed against you, not even giving you the chance to register their incessant noise.

"Jesus," You wheezed at the absurd weight of them both.

Tsukishima went completely unseen for the second time that night.

"Get off, both of you!" Daichi's disembodied, reprimanding voice called from upstairs. He certainly couldn't see them, so he must've just known.

With great, exaggerated labor, they did as told, but didn't drop the subject.

"You've never been out so late before!" Nishinoya exclaimed, taking both of your hands in his with big, dinner-plate eyes. It was only 9:30.

"Well, you have Tsukki to thank for getting me back safely," You joked, much quieter than them, heart light on the heels of a good kiss and in the company of good friends.

They looked around before spotting him, generating an amused smile on your face, and shook both of his hands at the same time, thanking him many times for his service.

"He saved me from Kuroo," You added with a playful glance back to Tsukishima, now free to walk in with them out of the way.

Now he was the one bombarded with questions as you slipped your shoes off in the doorway.

taglist:

this has been so nice writing! thank ya'll for the support! drop any suggestions for other characters or series you'd want to see in my requests!

@hotvinimon @cyzvx @aloveablechaos @kozumesphone

@beaniedoodz @idiotboys @djmoyolehuani @ilovemymomscooking

@imiqz @vierciale

[factual-fantasy]

Again and again ya'll keep blowing me away! Thank you so much for getting me to yet another milestone!! :DDD 🎉🎉

You guys have been such a comfort these past few months, truly. This trial I've been going through with my mental and physical health has been such a drag.. But waking up every morning and reading all your asks and funny comments has been a real mood lifter. They motivate me to get out of bed and draw things. So thank you all so much for that! :}}

Also this pixel stuff has been a blast. So despite my condition, I hope to make more artwork soon! Thank you again yall!! 🥰🥰🥰

[cottoncandyswisherz]

hood fav

softdom!chris x fwb!reader (described as poc) warnings: CHEATING BITCH, shower sex, choking if you squint and tilt your head to the left, riding, missionary, swearing, a lil overstimulation

- chris was mad. 

no. he was heated. 

no. he pissed the FUCK off. 

his fans always ask why he doesn't want a girlfriend? why does he have commitment issues?

this is exactly why. he'd been talking to this gir- this BITCH for like 3 months and he goes to surprise her after being gone on tour months and this is what he fucking gets. 

*30 MINS AGO*

chris' heart was pounding in his chest due to anticipation. he'd been gone so long and she was the first person she wanted to see when he came back. 

he had a goofy smile on his face and a bouquet of peonies (her favorite flower) behind his back.  his smile only grew when he heard the door being unlocked. 

"SURPRI-" his face dropped when he saw some fucking idiot standing shirtless in his girls doorway. "what the fuck?"

"baby who's at the do- oh fuck." she came to the door in wearing nothing but a tee-shirt.

"baby?" chris was dumb founded. "you- you're- BABY?!" 

"chris i can explain this- can you come back later so we can talk?" 

this made chris laugh as he pulled out his phone to call matt back. "yeah no. ya'll have fun though." and with that began to walk away and down the street. 

*BACK TO NOWADAYS*

when matt pulled up next to him on a random street, he came with a pre-roll and a pepsi. "fuck her, bro." 

lighting his j, chris smiled and said, "yeah im not tripping."

"good. you're fucking great, and shes a bum." matt pat his brothers shoulder and pulled off the curve. "we going home or do you just wanna drive around?"

chris inhaled again and ashed his joint, setting it down to text the person he really needed to see. "bro can you take me y/n's? i needa talk to her."

"yeah i got you." matt chuckled and headed to their friends house. 

to matt, y/n was a close friend that he and his brothers loved. she was funny and chill as fuck to be around. never had a bad vibe, always smiling. she called herself a hood fav.

but to chris, y/n was a god. she was fucking gorgeous and had a smart ass mouth, that he put to good use. they fucked when neither of them were seeing anyone, and it never complicated their friendship. 

chris didn't want a girlfriend, and y/n thought chris was the most unserious person on the planet.

and that's how they liked it. they gave each other the best orgasms known to man, then watched a movie and vibed the rest of the day. 

nothing more. nothing less. 

arriving at his friends house, chris hopped out of the kia truck and called her to open the door. 

"hello?" y/n answered. chris noticed noise behind her but he couldn't make it out. 

"yo im outside, come open the door." 

"first of all, don't be fucking rude, say hi back." the girl retorted, her voiced laced with sass. 

"my fault bruh." he rolled his eyes. "hi y/n. now can you open the door?"

"im in the shower, use the key under the turtle." she laughed and hung up. 

shower?? chris thought. perfect. 

he made quick work of opening the door and making his way up the stairs and into the bathroom, where he was met with steam and loud music. 

she was playing her favorite rapper, heembeezy. (free my nigga fr)

"bro why are you here? didn't you get to LA two hours ago?" y/n yelled from the shower.

"i went to see her and a fucking dude answered her door with no clothes on." he responded, sitting on the toilet to take off his shoes. 

y/n swung the curtain open with a gobsmacked look on her face. "AIN'T NO FUCKING WAY! SAY ON GOD RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!" 

"on god bruh." he sighed, removing his shirt. "then she said she can explain and to come back later."

y/n laughed at this and went back to her shower. "she's a fucking bum bro. fuck her."

"that's what matt said." his bottoms came off next.

"that's why matts my favorite. he just like me for real." 

chris opened the shower door and looked at her body that can only be described as glorious. "yeah so now im cool on relationships for now." 

y/n made room for him in her small shower and giggled. " you back on your p shit?"

"yup." he gave a cheeky grin and pulled her to him. "now come here."

he pulled her into him so her wet body was flush on his. his hands found their way to her ass and grabbed a handful and rejoiced in the fact that it wouldn't all fit in his hand. his dick hardened against her soft belly as her hands ran up his back and into his hair, gripping it tightly. 

he went to pull her shower cap off, but she quickly stopped him "i just got my hair done bro."

he yanked it off anyway. "i'll pay for you to get it done again tomorrow."

her nipples peaked against his chest and she came to a realization. "i'm all wet." she said. 

"already?" he rebutted with a smile. she just laughed and turned them around so he was under the water. 

she admired the way his hair fell to his forehead and his cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. his body glistened while wet and she loved it. his biceps flexed when he tilted his head back and raised his arms to move the hair from his eyes. 

she took the step needed to be back in his close proximity and enveloped him in another loin-firing kiss. 

their bodies knew each other perfectly at this point. they knew what made the other tick, what made them moan, what made them scream.

she wrapped her arms around his middle, pulling him impossibly closer.

he moved his hand to her neck, his long fingers wrapping around it with ease. applying the perfect amount of pressure from memory. 

she pulled away from his intoxicating lips and swirled her tongue around the top of his ear. "you want me to get your mind off the bum?"

he backed up so he could look at her face and he could have cum at the sight of her. her eyes were hooded and dark. he grabbed both sides of her face and looked in her eyes before he answered her question. "fuck. yes." 

she smirked at his answer and lowered herself to her knees, peppering kisses down his body in the process.

when she got to her destination, she wrapped her hands around his begging cock, and took his tip in her warm mouth. 

chris sucked in a breath and grabbed her braids, wrapping them around his hand a few times. "fuuuck." he groaned and pushed her further down his shaft. 

chris had received a lot of head in his 20 years, but y/n didn't just suck dick. she was an eater. she took all of him in her beautiful mouth and attempted to take his soul every time and the only sound he heard was her moans. 

she was moaning. 

"god, youre so fucking perfect." he grunted, looking down at her. his stomach dropped to his ass when she looked back at him through those lashes that he loved.

she pulled off him and began stroking him. "yeah?" she gathered her spit in her mouth and spat it on his tip, making him jolt and reach up to grab the shower head in order to stay on planet earth. 

she swallowed him whole once again, stroking as her lips went back and forth on his dick.

chris was close and she knew it so she went all the way to the top and sucked his tip with enough passion that he released in her mouth with his eyes screwed shut and a moan. 

he opened his eyes, and by the time the stars left his vision, y/n had swallowed every thing he gave her.

with weak legs, he turned around, shut the water off and dragged her out of the bathroom, soaking wet. 

"chris, im soaked!" she laughed as he pushed her onto the bed, climbing on top of her. 

"i know, and im gonna use that to my full advantage." he smiled and pecked her lips quickly, moving down to where he really wanted to be. 

between her legs. 

"im gonna fuck you til you see jesus." he stated, boring into her eyes. 

she felt so nervous when chris looked at her like that. every time he did, she came out a changed woman.

"...o-okay..." she stuttered out.

and it began. 

see, chris was an eater as well. he didn't just eat pussy, he fell into it. face first. 

he ran two fingers up her folds, spreading her pussy so he could see all of her. 

"god your pussy's so fucking pretty." he whispered and got to work. attaching his lips to her clit, using his tongue for something productive for once. 

y/n was a mess already, moaning and gripping his hair with an iron fist. her legs fell wider with every caress of his tongue. she was falling apart and he wasn't even using his hands. this was sad. 

he pulled away and spit on her pussy harshly and dove back in, driving her in-fucking-sane. but she really lost it when he bit her clit softly. 

she came with a scream. it felt like she levitated off the bed. as she tried to roll over onto her stomach, chris gripped her plush thighs and held her back down. so she tried to close her legs but he slammed them open and brought his head up from his favorite place. between her thighs with her addicting scent attacking his sense. 

he made eye contact with her and looked at her in a way that told her "lay the fuck down." 

and she did. 

but he knew she was sensitive, so instead of eating her pussy, which he loved doing, he collected her juices on his two fingers and slid them inside her with grace. 

her eyes fell closed as she let out a "good god" only to be met with "my names chris ma. say my name."

she couldn't even comprehend what the fuck he was saying due to the way he was pulling her spirit out of her with his fucking fingers. 

he got up on his knees and leaned down to her ear, never stopping his hands. "say my fucking name y/n." he rubbed her clit with his thumb and she gave him what he wanted. 

she chanted his name like a prayer as she release once again. he went down automatically and licked all of her before coming up again and taking her mouth in his so she could see why he ate her pussy every time.

they kissed for a hot second, allowing her to ground herself. then he pulled away and asked "you still with me?" y/n nodded but it wasn't enough. "words, baby." 

"i'm with you, chris."

she was looked at him with those eyes and he damn near lost his fucking mind.

he rolled off her and sat up against her headboard. "ride me, y/n"

she fucking loved when he said her name while they were fucking. it sounded so pretty coming from his filthy mouth. he said it so perfectly, his voice low, every letter sounding like sex.

she climbed on his lap, her legs folding at his sides. as she straddle him, she grabbed his face and kissed him once again. she could kiss him all day if he wasn't so fucking whore-ish. she moved from his lips to his neck and went to that spot that drove him wild, sucking until she heard him moaning. 

she took that as a sign to sink onto his cock, whining at the full feeling. 

chris was on planet her with doja cat at this point. her perfect pussy took him so well. like her body was made for sex with him. 

his hand gripped her ass once again and he began guiding her on him until she took matters into her own hands and moved on her own.

 they went slow. so pleasantly slow. 

he pulled her hair so she'd look at him while she rode him. her brown eyes found his blue ones and they got lost in each other, whispering to each other things they'd never say outside of this moment. 

"you're so fucking beautiful."

"you're perfect."

"just for you."

"i'm the only one who makes you feel as good as this?"

"only you."

"only me?"

"only you."

chris was feral.

he pulled out,  flipped them over so he was on top, and pushed back into her at all at once. grabbing her leg, brought it over his shoulder and fucked her like he hadn't seen her in 12 years. 

he felt all of her. her walls swallowing his cock and squeezing deliciously tight. he threw his head back in ecstasy and she reached up and brought it back so he was looking at her again. "it feels so good, chris." she pulled him down and kissed him.

he put all his weight on one arm and slipped the other one between them, pushing on her stomach so she felt even more of him.

this made her cry out and he took her open mouth as a sign to slip in his tongue and taste her pretty sounds.

y/n was on cloud 9. she felt so good. so full. so happy. she felt like she would never feel as content as she did when she was wrapped around chris, taking every stroke he gave her. she couldn't pinpoint when things had changed that night but she knew that they had. she knew that it would never be the same after this. but her orgasm was chasing her down and she couldn't focus on silly things like emotions.

pulling away she told him, "baby im gonna cum. can i cum? please?"

he simply chuckled at her uncharacteristic question and simply said, "yes, y/n. you can cum."

she looked at him with soft eyes. "you want me to?"

he chuckled again and said "yes baby, i want you to. do it for me." he move his hand from her belly to her clit and rubbed soft circles. 

y/n gasped and her eyes rolled back in her head. she had no words. she couldn't see, or hear, or smell or taste. all she could feel was chris. she could feel her inside him, touching every part of her. she could feel his hand on her pussy, bringing her to tears. she could feel his breath on her nose as he watched her come undone. 

finding her voice, she screamed out praises over and over again, the sound bringing chris to his own high. 

he closed his eyes and asked where she wanted him. she didn't answer, so he patted her face softly so she'd focus, and asked again. "where do you want me baby?"

"leave it in." she breathed out. "cum in my pussy please."

he couldn't take it after that. he finished in a way that can only be described as an explosion. the funny thing is, he he was the one who saw jesus. every muscle in his body tightened and he closed his eyes so hard, he saw shapes. 

"fuck fuck fuck FUCK Y/N!" he moaned as he painted her walls with himself and pulled out, covered his hand in their mixed seed and shoved his fingers in her mouth. 

and she did what was expected, swirling her tongue around his fingers, she sucked until there was nothing left.  

"you're so fucking good, i can't believe it." he muttered in amazement. 

her eyes were already falling shut as she sucked his fingers and he knew if she continued he'd melt into a puddle on her carpet.

he rolled off her and layed on her bed, staring at the ceiling, desperate to catch his breath. when he did, he went to to bathroom and got the towel that she never used, to clean her up, smiling when she moaned at the feeling in her sleep.

he cleaned himself off, threw the towel into the hamper, then laid back down and curled into her side, resting his head on her tits. 

chris wasn't oblivious. he knew that tonight changed things. he knew that she wasn't just a friend anymore. he knew that they were gonna have to talk about it for the sake of their relationship. 

but not tonight. 

tonight, he'd hold her close and relish in the feeling of her nails in his hair. he'd cherish her scent. he'd kiss her until her taste was etched on his tongue. he'd watch her sleep and drift off to the sounds of her soft snores. 

because not only was she a hood fav,

she was his fav.

niyah speaks for the eaters who want love ALSOOOO i got a nic fluff coming out this month bc is gay month and my people need to be recognized

taglist: @mattslolita @hoesformatt @muwapsturniolo @mattssluttygf

remember that if no one loves you, mommy loves you (and my mommy i mean me)

[pupyuj]

7th member and g!p wonyoung where rumors run around a lot that you and wonyoung don't get along well because you really can't look each in the eye and doesn't interact that much but in reality, you can't look at her in the eye because you're too shy after she fucked your brains out last night and you won't interact that much on cam because wony know that she'll just end up getting a boner and might just consider bending you over right there and then 🥰🥰🥰

sndbdjcncdk i love getting g!p wony asks it's my favorite thing 😩😩😩 it's so obvious that i got way too into this i'm sorry i'm an ive girl through and through .

ya'll know i love giving these things a little backstory and some build-up so... it was just supposed to be a cute little hook-up between you and your favorite dorm mate 😳 the two of you have just come home from a party, giggling and whispering flirty things to each other while you stumbled inside your shared dorm... hands touching and groping anywhere and passing it off as a joke but the next thing you knew you were making out on the couch with wony on top 😵‍💫 she was grinding and humping, needing relief for her cock bcs she has stared at you all night and wanted nothing more but to fuck you, not at all giving a damn about the consequences �� needless to say, you absolutely did get fucked very good, too good maybe, on that couch (and in her bed right after)! you fell asleep in peace thinking that everything will be fine the next morning.. but oh, no they weren't 😬

suddenly you couldn't talk to each other like normal friends 😭 only a few words were shared between the two of you since that night, and you only looked at each other when it was absolutely necessary 😭😭 ofc the fans would notice it very quickly bcs all of your habits around each other have changed :( you used to sit very close to each other all the time, but now you're on opposite sides when the group is doing a live or smth 💔 on top of all that, you stopped talking about each other on fancafes, bubble, etc... it was a bit heartbreaking actually, it was like witnessing a friendship breakup in real time 😭😭 no selfies tgt, no random moments of each other on your individual instas, no reports of a 2 am convenience store run... oh, the (y/n) x wonyoung shippers were in the trenches during this time 😩 (annyeongz shooters can relate—)

and then it gets to a point where it was blown out of proportion online 😬 articles being made, think pieces being written about the current state of your friendship... there was a viral clip of you seemingly side-eyeing wonyoung and acting like a bitch behind her back... which your fans fought everybody to hell for bcs they knew you loved her more than anything 🥹🥹

it was yujin who took notice of this.. thing between you guys ofc and cornered the two of you one day, telling you to get your act together and sort your problems out bcs it was affecting the group dynamic too 💔 apparently jiwon was feeling guilty bcs it was now her that you took to those midnight strolls, and rei always felt like she was 'homewrecking' whenever wonyoung was affectionate with her and not you 😭😭😭 coming home after getting scolded by your leader, the two of you sitting on that very same couch where you fucked, awkward and silent...

"i miss you." it was her that broke the silence. that was really all it took for you to jump in her arms and hug her tightly :(( wony was your best friend, the one who knows all your secrets, the one who remembers every single funny moment in your childhood and reminds you of it to cheer you up, the one who always wiped your tears away when you cried — it hurt to not get along with her 💔💔 "we don't have to make that whole thing be such a bad thing... we can just laugh about it, and... and—" wonyoung looks at you, at your soft smile while you cupped her cheeks in your hands, at your lips (she remembers hoe you kissed her that night), at your body and the way you looked like you belong right on her lap... "and we can just do it again.. and again... over and over..." she says boldly. well that certainly caught you off guard, but who were you to say no?

the two of you were really just supposed to talk, but now wony has you bent over the couch, her hips slapping against your ass while her dick slammed deeper and deeper by the second inside you... your cunt fit perfectly around her cock, it was an almost hypnotizing feeling fucking you 😵‍💫 wony thrusting faster, getting bursts of energy every time you moaned her name... then she's right up in your ear, "w-we... we won't need to leave the dorm when we're bored anymore... we can just fuck.. all the time... does that sound appealing enough, baby?" she was asking.

you nodded, "yes, y-yes, wonyoung... ahh.. mhmm..! i'll always be ready for you... just say the word.. or better yet, just f-fucking... shitshit... just grab me and fuck me... i love your cock.. i love it..." you were convinced that there wasn't a better feeling in the world that getting fucked by your gorgeous best friend, and there really wasn't!

shdbfjfksf wony turning you around so she could look at your face while she pounded into you :((( you were so pretty to her, she will never regret fucking you that night 🤤🤤 deliberately clenching around her cock, smiling at the way it only made her pound you faster — you can't get enough of each other 😵‍💫 kissing as you both came, feeling absolutely at bliss while her cum filled up your cunt... she definitely breeded you all night, she had to make up for lost time! 😉 filled you up on her bed, the showers, on her bed again after showering, even when you slept she was fucking into you... just dumping all of her seed in you bcs she missed you so muchhh :((( and yeah you get your revenge bcs when wony woke up the next morning and she looked down, you winked at her with her cock deep down your throat... and then you rode her until she was a drooling, babbling mess...

sorry did i mention that you guys are just fucking insane? right after that, you were cockwarming her while the two of you had breakfast, then wony was feeling you up impatiently while you washed the dishes, then you were fucking on the couch again while the morning news was on... and you ended up getting ten missed calls from yujin that entire morning bcs wony got very, very busy spilling every drop of her cum inside your pussy AND YET....... it was never enough 🥵🥵🥵

did you ever get off her cock that whole day? probably not... but hey, it did wonders for your friendship!

fans now see that the two of you were closer than ever! back to being jokey around each other, wony now always had an arm wrapped around your waist and you were always combing her hair with your fingers bcs you knew it eased her, and ofc you grew more affectionate towards each other! maybe a bit too much.. but it was wayyy better than when you pretended like the other didn't exist 🤭🤭

see, what they all don't know is after that very fun and loud live at the practice room, wony fucked you to hell in one of those secluded rooms in the company building, making you see the stars while you came all over her cock 😵‍💫 yeah that hook-up was a blessing alright...

[pastafossa]

I love you guys. I hope you know that.

Like.

Ok so I posted the new TRT chapter the other day. Obviously. And I had to force myself to do it, to click that final, 'post' button because at that last moment, this big wave of imposter syndrome hit (that had already hit on and off as I'd started working on the chapter again). And it was just this cycle of, 'It's been like 6 months since you posted a chapter or anything other than a couple one-shots and you're out of practice, I bet it's bad, it's probably terrible, I bet everyone's left and no one cares about this thing you love so why do you? What if no one likes it, you're gonna drop this and everyone's gonna god 'wtf is this, pasta? what happened?'' And so I forced myself to post it, took my meds to ensure I slept, and then kinda just bunkered down and slept/hid because I was halfway convinced that all the trauma in the previous six months had just bopped any ability I had to write.

Instead I got this outpouring, of just like, 'WELCOME BACK' and people telling me they're happy that mom is ok (which made me cry but in a good way) and they're sorry Cato passed away (more tears, but comforted tears), but also delightful jokes about the funny lines I put in or screaming over that romantic line or about missing Jane and the dynamics and comments about being eager for the next chapter, and how now I can be one of those AO3 authors with those notes of 'yeah my life blew up so I was delayed, but hey I'm back!' which... yeah. And much like when I first started TRT, I didn't... really expect that at all, and it's made me really emotional.

So if you've dropped into my ask box or the comments or the replies, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, thank you, because the excitement and love and just you all being the best little fam and continuing on this journey of TRT with me - a journey that has now included both Matt and Jane's journey, and a real life journey through a pandemic, a huge move, a passing of two of my pets, my mom's hospitalization and recovery, some heart issues, the cancellation and resurrection of the show, me meeting Charlie Cox and getting him to hold a red thread, my first wood carving event, etc - and I know I say this a lot, but you all really, really help me keep going when things get hard. I'd write TRT for nothing, I would, because I love this story and I intend to see it through, but ya'll just... I love you all tons. I'm hoping to get through the asks and fic comments and replies in the next few days, but I just wanted you guys to know that.

[alivee123]

Astro notes based on my experiences

Leo suns are clumsy, because we get caught up in feeling like the main character and end up slipping or tripping. But since everything we do is flashy and flamboyant -- we always fall in some dramatic way.

Aires go from being mature stick-in-the-muds and serious to really laid back and funny. its a good balance

speaking of balance, Capricorns love to spend money. if you see their closets you might wonder how they grab a outfit in time.

taurus + taurus suns work well as far as relationships go.

Pisces- why ya'll ignore me 'till I bring up that one thing you know you did AND STILL SAY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT. 😭

Pisces is a bit mean to Aires at times.

'Scorpio moons are the most mischievous people I know.

Leo risings when underdeveloped are hysterical and sensitive.

Aires risings are closed off but big softies, and Sagittarius risings are the real outlaws of the group. how do I know? my dad's a Sagittarius rising, my sis is a Leo rising and I'm the Aires rising.

Cancer placements are not cry babies. There's a reason why it hurts when a crab pinches you/ fights back. And cancer placements love to keep track of everything. Like that one time you did that one thing you don't want people to know about? They'll bring it up if you strike the wrong chord with them.

Aquarius moons---ok, like ya'll are precious! also your humor is all over the place.

Virgo moons- why do we say what we say?? like we love to study ANYTHING but we end up really wanting to analyze the worst people--and end up saying our findings and sounding and get stared at like ::

"why do you know when so-so goes out for coffee--"

also Virgo moons have great music taste-no, I'm not bragging.. I am bragging..kinda

[thegnomelord]

A mostly random combination of dialogue and action prompts to celebrate all of you bc, seriously, ya'll are amazing :),

Rules: Max 2 characters for a prompt but then it's gonna be poly, you can specify reader's gender/specific au/if characters are trans or cis. I'm only doing a prompt once. I tagged the characters I'm confident writing for but ya'll can ask for other ones :Dd. + indicates what's taken but i've yet to write.

Remaining free prompts: 21, 24, 27, 31

I only do Male/GN reader.

Game lasts until the 1st of December

"Do you-" "If you suggest I sit in your lap I'll kill you."

“That’s enough. Take a cold shower and when you’re done come back to me.  Don’t dress yourself.  No drying off."

“Tell me how I’m supposed to un-love you, then. Tell me. Spare me.”

“You look like you want to devour them.” +

“My feelings aren’t real and my heart’s a fucking idiot.”

"This doesn't mean anything, right? We're just friends?" +

“Well, I’m sorry I fell in love with you, okay? But it happened and I can’t do shit about it.” “You… What?” 

"If this is a joke it isn't funny."

"You have a piercing where?"

“Bet you they don’t make you sound like that, do they?” +

“That could be us.” “That is us.” +

"What, did you think all those times I kissed you were for shits and giggles?" "Let's be real, you had a lot of fun shoving your tongue down my throat in public." +

"Get up." +

"I’m in a good mood today, you may choose your punishment this time but only if you ask for it politely." +

"Come here. Sit in my lap and tell me what you want." +

"What are you doing up so late?" +

Oral as punishment +

Sex after a near death experience +

Becoming self-conscious after the clothes come off +

Trusting enough to give up control

Discussing boundaries before doing something new in bed

Playing with their hand. +

Washing their hair

Trying to find those little souvenirs with your names on it

Drunk confessions

Pulling them closer by the back of the neck

Going to sleep after an argument

Forehead kisses

A hug from behind

Kissing scars

Somehow your training session turns into a tickle fight

Finding their OnlyFans account

[karoochui]

Mika im gonna im gonna vanish im gonna vaporize MikaaaaAAAA--

Hghghghgggg round 2 Moon

M-Mo-Moon raAHHHH *werewolf ripping shirt image*

ROUND 2 MOONNNNNN

*shrivels up and dies doing the family guy pose*

/vpos

This ask is so fucking funny. You're so real for this. Me if ya'll even care

Ouuhghhh

[neo-kid-funk]

a funny thing i've noticed about percico is that it's a ship full of pain and confusing and repressed feelings in canon but everyone draws and writes very sweet and fluffy content for them<3 i love your art!!

this may or may not be me asking for angsty percico. it is up to reader interpretation.

So real,,, canon Percico is angsty as shit and makes my heart hurt so freaking bad,,, and okokok I know this probably isn't what u meant when u said angsty Percico but I did really want to draw angsty Nico like so bad,,, if you don't like blood I'm sorry.I just really wanted a different kind of angst for this one,,gotta switch it up from all the fluff yah know 🤧😭 thank you for the ask tho,, I really do love u anon 💖💖

(Not his blood btw) Am sorry ya'll

[jazeswhbhaven]

Do you think Sitri and Amy were like exboyfriends or something? Like way way back before the demons even met Solomon.

That type of rivalry when Solomon showed up and Sitri was all over him which made Amy mad.

Now Amy's gonna try to "steal" (MC)Solomon's descendant from Sitri

you know, I love it when ya'll ask me cxc stuff...because I go off when asked.

here's a little drabble for you anon that I randomly cooked up for this very situation....

Sitri and Amy did in fact date before. It didn't last long because of Sitri going away to Hades to study and Sitri was too busy studying to check-in half the time and mostly did with Satan instead. Because of this, Amy assumed that Sitri was cheating on him with Satan, his idol, his superior, his king, someone he looks up to. He could never be mad at Satan but he directed all of that energy to Sitri instead.

When Solomon came around the pettiness got worse.

He would deliberately try and get Solomon's attention away from Sitri, trip him up during battle to be seen as the stronger leader to Satan, and even went as far as to kiss another noble in front of him the same way he used to kiss him in the e x a c t way.

Sitri would get annoyed each time, calling him childish and trying to ignore the behavior. Satan found their combined fury funny and pretty much fed on it, however Solomon advised they should get along because they're both strong.

Amy didn't want to hear NONE of that. So the pettiness reins on. Til this day, he still annoys Sitri as much as possible, but only he and Sitri understand why he has that heart tattoo...because they picked it out together during a date before Sitri left to Hades so he could think of him while he was away. (i'm sure there's a canon reason but yeah that's MY reason lol)

When it comes to MC, he now has a new target because he hears Sitri call them "Solomon" and Amy calls them by their actual name and gets real close to MC all the time when Sitri is around. Anything to get him riled up.