#YOUUUU made me this way and our living situation this way

[tempe-brennans]

i hate living here

[kindestofkings]

got a book for every situation

ryan mcmahon x reader

reader runs a bookstagram/bookclub but instead of just reading about love, until she meets a certain drummer...

authors note: guys i think i love ryan an unhealthy amount

yourusername

location: london!

liked by bookfan1 and others

yourusername heyy guys sorry I've been kind of quiet on here but I've MOVED egh it's been v scary and hectic even though it was only from Dublin to London. don't worry tho bookstagram will stay alive !

hows everyone doing?! what are yee reading rn?

view 100 comments

bookfan1 wow city girl! I'm reading normal people at the moment :)

yourusername ik shaking things up hehe, also hope you're enjoying the heartbreaking miscommunication ... bookfan1 it is hard out here :(

bookfan2 no way I'm living in london ! lmk if you need any friends here xx

yourusername omg yes! I was thinking of starting a bookclub? thoughts? bookfan2 yes I'd so be down !! bookfan3 me too! I just moved here aswell

bookfan4 currently just buying books and not reading them

yourusername meee, expect I'm now broke from moving so I'm on a self-inflicted book ban 😔😔

ryanmcmahon_15

liked by elijahhewson and others

ryanmcmahon_15 get on your jogging shorts and pick up a brush

view all 83 comments

inhalerfan1 ok artist 🥴

inhalerfan2 your bob ross era omg

yourusername

liked by yourbestie and others

yourusername new city but same old hopeless romantic <3 maybe london will hold a romantic interest ?

also next months bookclub is organised so keep an eye out for my story with the dets 💗

view 70 other comments

bookfan1 yayyy can't wait!!

bookfan2 omg getting closer to a face reveal by the day

yourusername 🤭🤭

yourbestie YOU COULD EASILY HAVE A ROMANTIC INTEREST IF YOU TEXTED THAT GUY ! (also come home I miss your bookclub)

yourusername ughh leave off it ! he was just being nice .. yourbestie oohh yeah he walked up to you at a bar, talked to you for a few and then gave you his number only because he was being nice... mmhmm bookfan2 omg text him what the hell! bookfan3 this is the stuff of books! bookfan2 is he cute?? yourusername ahahha yes. and fineeee I'll text him ���� terrifying😅

ryanmcmahon_15 added to his story!

location: london!

replies:

bobbyskeetz ehhhhh what do we have here??

joshjennkinson_ IS THAT THE GIRL FROM THE BAR !!!

↳ ryanmcmahon_15 it might me yes 🤭

inhalerfan1 ryannnn okay cheater !

yourusername posted on their story!

location: national gallery!

fear I'm terrible date company, but in my defence there was stuff to read EVERYWHERE

replies:

yourbestie WE DONT CARE ABOUT THE PLAQUE HOW WAS THE DATE !!!!

↳ it was so good, he was the sweetest and really into art and and is really passionate about music and and and he was just really pretty ...

↳ yourbestie omg girlllll you are hung UP

ryanmcmahon_15 great company* lets not lie

↳ ahhh have you not made me blush enough this month !

bookfan1 stop you are slay, he's so lucky for your company !

joshjenkinson_,bobbyskeetz and elijahhewson just followed you!

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername happy 9 months to my pride and joy, our book club <3

your support has meant to me and has supported my reading addiction, big MWAH !

I've met so many new friends, insanely made it onto three publishing houses pr list?!?!? and got a job all through this little bookstagram. you all are the best xx

view all 100 comments

bookfan1 wooow we love a successful queen !

bookfan2 reading is sooo hot and sooo slay

bookfan3 is that a book bouquet? and a pic taken by someone else???

yourusername mwhahah eagled eye youuuu. also HOW cute is the bouquet ! (liked by ryanmcmahon_15)

inhalerfan1 high key why did all the band follow a random bookstagram?

inhalerfan2 shes irish living in london, maybe they're friends from home?? inhalerfan3 but then they'd already follow her tho

yourusername

liked by yourbestie and others

yourusername dating a musician means one thing... associating tunes with books !!!

(also getting your oranges peeled for you 😭😭)

view all 75 comments

yourbestie y'all are adorable, I love <3

bookfan1 he seems so sweet !

ryanmcmahon_15 you forgot forcing people to listen to lana del ray...

yourusername oh yeah !! how could I forget that I'm bettering the lives of others :))) bobbyskeetz he does be humming let the light in constantly. yourusername awhhh too soft for it

inhalerfan1 ooohhh is she dating ryan !?

yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername ugh sick with love, but he reads my favourite books and instead of annotations he paints them 🥹

also tickets for next month's book club are out this sundayyyyy ! Xx

view all 123 comments

inhalerfan1 omg boyfriend ryan is everything

joshjenkinson_ ryan being in his bookworm era has the tour bus kinda quiet

bookfan1 sooo invested in your relationship , also have the alarm set for the tickets !

ryanmcmahon_15

liked by yourusername and others

ryanmcmahon_15 black and white is owned by lewevans btw

view all 88 comments

yourusername being really cool is owned by you btw

joshjenkinson_ 2/3 pics you're reading, yourusername your power is unmatched 🤭

elijahhewson reading era

inhalerfan1 hahaha ugh I love them your honour

lewevans 🖤 🤍

yourusername posted on their story!

gorgeous boy <;3

replies:

ryanmcmahon_15 love you ❤️

↳ LOVE YOU MORE

inhalerfan1 im so so jealous of you

bookfan1 when are you writing a book about your love story ??

↳ hahhaha omg imagine ! dont tempt me..

yourusername

location: new york new york!

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername yeah my boyfriends pretty cool but he's not as cool as

THE BOOKSTORE THAT I FOUND WHICH SELLS BOOKS AND PICKLES !!!

view all 64 comments

bobbyskeetz meeeee, im a brooklyn babyyyy

yourusername you get me.

yourbestie you are SO cool

bookfan1 wait I need all the details ??

yourusername it was the cutiest little secondhand bookshop in the lower east side of manhattan but they also make their own pickles

the end

what did you think? 😏

[namjoonscoffeeshop]

Dear Namjoon | 03

Dear Namjoon | KNJ

✧ Pairing: Kim namjoon x reader ✧ warning(s): explicit language, suggestive content, mature content ✧ genre: angst,fluff,smut,slow burn ✧ synopsis; You're sent to live with your father and older brother. only that your older brother is in a band called BTS. you meet jimin's friends and automatically get tangled with one of his band members. you're relationship has to be kept a secret but for how long can you keep it that way?

prev | index | next

I remember when jimin and me would have sleep overs as kids, we would have the time of our lives. so waking up next to jimin who looks like a mochi as he sleeps made me reminiscent of those days.

my brother was the cutest when we were kids, when ever he would come visit me everyone wanted to get to know him. once he got into hight school, and he came to visit me. all the girks went crazy and going to school on my own was annoying because girls just wanted to be my friend to get a chance with my brother.

i don't think i've ever had any real friends. but that's fine.

jimin's little snores fill the room, i grab my phone from then night stand to check the time. we needed to get up soon so i did the only thing a sister will do to their brother.

i kicked jimin off the bed.

it was funny until he screamed, then it wasn't funny cause he sounded like it actually hurt. tangled with the blanket as he tried to get up. but i run out the room, my dad stands at the end of the hall confused as to why i was running and laughing. he seemed to understand the situation once he saw an angry jimin coming out of his room chasing me.

"y/n i'ma kill you, you hurt my fucking elbow" he yells as he chases you, you finally make it to your room, rushing inside you lock the door. as you lean against the wall to catch your breathe you hear jimin outside your door

"y/n open the door"

"no" your wheezing at this point from how much your laughing

"it's not fucking funny, it's the last time i let you sleep with me"

"i love youuuu"

"fuck you" he yells as he walks away from your door

after getting ready I gather up my courage to go see jimin, and beg him to let me go to school with him. i didn't feel like driving.

"no" he glares at you through the mirror as he combs his hair

"pleasee, i'm sorry ok" i pout trying to get him to agree, but he just ignores you

giving him back hug i pinch his waist"pretty pleaseeeee"

"noo i wanna take my bike and i can't with you"

"what do yo mean you can't? i'm not afraid"

he sighs, grabbing your hands that were wrapped around his waist, he turns to look at you "dad said no cause you wear a skirt" he smiles at you

"thats bullshit on a stick" you cross your arms

jimin stares at you as if he was pondering

"you know what fuck it lets go" he throws his arm over your shoulder, grabbing his bag. he passes by his closet getting a sweater "but wrap it around your waist, we don't want him to go all psycho" you wrap the sweater as you both head downstairs. your dad was in the kitchen getting his morning coffee and bread as he was taking a call

"we're leaving for school" jimin calls out, getting his dad's attention

"ok, y/n are you taking your car? it's in the garag-"

"no i'm going with jimin"you give him a wide smile, jimin still had his arm around your shoulder "don't worry dad she'll wear a helmet"

"wait but jimin" he gives jimin a stern look

"don't worry dad" he smiles and we walk away.

"how long has it been since you've been on a bike" he hands you a helmet

"shit since you brought yours" tugging on the sweater on your waist to make sure it's secure, you also didn't like the idea of someone look at your ass.

you hold onto jimin's waist lightly and he chuckles "sis hold onto me , if you fall i'll leave you there"

tightening your grip on his waist you pinch him "jerk"

"yeah yeah"

i would be lying if i said i wasn't about to shit bricks when he took off in full speed giving me no time to get used to it. my grip around him tightens more and i let out a scream.

"didn't you said you weren't afraid" he laughs

"oh shut up"

----

thankfully the school wasn't far from us. pulling up to the parking lot he parks next to other motorcycles. he kept teasing me about my scream and was exaggerating that i probably bruised him from how hard i was holding him

"ooooo jimin who's this lovely lady" the guy with a boxy smile gets off his bike and walks to us

"hey bro" they do a handshake and jimin turns to me "it's my sister" he smiles brightly

"the famous y/n" he reaches his hand out towards you

"yeah..and you are?" you shake his hand

"taehyung"

taking off the helmet you hand it to jimin, getting off the bike you realize that people are staring at you

"why are they staring?" you fix your hair, cursing yourself at the thought at your hair might look like shit due to the helmet

"oh don't mind them, its the park effect"

"park effect?" jimin and you say together

"well it was the jimin effect, but since your his sister" he looks around, glancing at the guys "well it's now the park effect. since you're both good looking"

you wanted to put on the helmet again, this it he most compliments you've ever gotten in one conversation

"come on little sister lets go find out your schedule" jimin holds your arm, as he glares at the guys making taehyung chuckle

taehyung follows you guys, walking next to you. you glance at him, noticing he is good looking himself. and just like jimin he also had people staring at him. if he's one of his friends then where are the other friends jimin always talks about?

"where's everyone else?" jimin asks as if he could read you mind

"i think they said they weren't coming today" he shrugs "but i would never leave you all alone at school, so i came" he smiles

"what a great friend" jimin rolls his eyes

the day ended quicker than you thought and just like taehyung said none of the other guys showed up. during lunch jimin told you to stay with him. it was nice being with him. you finally know what it's like to have fun in school. Jimin is in his junior year while your a sophomore. "my sisters a nerd" jimin tells taehyung as you guys walk to the parking lot

"i can see, like dang girl do you live with your nose in books"taehyung looked surprised as he looked at your schedule

"my life is boring unless i'm with jimin, i got nothing better to do then read" you yank the paper from his hands and stick your tongue out at him

"everyone is already at the spot, you guys going home first?" taehyung asks as he gets on his bike

"nah were going right now, are you going home?" taehyung shakes his head

"lets go then"

jimin puts the helmet on you, and waits till you get on.

"now don't squeeze too hard" he chuckles

------

we made it to a club, and i was honestly confused. my dad is bothering me over clothes but jimin can come to places like this. getting off the bike jimin grabs the sweater from my hips and tells me to put it on. "don't go wandering around, if something happens dad will go for my head" he tells you with a serious tone

"ok"

the three of you walk over to a side door where a huge man stands

"nick how you been?"

"if it ain't jimin and taehyung" they all shake hands and the man looks at you "who's this?"

"my sister, if you ever see her here make sure she gets in please" he nods and opens the door letting the three of us in

the music is loud and it's dark. you can only see jimin and taehyung in front of you. you grab jimin's arm, trying not to get separated from him as you get through the crown, walking to the bar. there you see a tall man with broad shoulders with a white dressing shirt. he was with someone else who had silver hair and a black suit

both of them looked at the three of you but their eyes stayed on you. "jimin is this your sister?" the boy with silver hair speaks loudly to try and be heard over the music

"yeah her name is y/n, this is jin and yoongi" he points at then

"nice to meet you"

looking around you see a bunch of people dancing, the girls had nice outfits and were wearing heels. maybe it would've been better if we had gone home to change

"we got you both a outfit" jin tells jimin and taehyung

"nice, y/n stay here" jimin points at the seat next to yoongi, taehyung and jimin leave following jin

and you sit awkwardly next to him, conscious at him staring at you. "so how do you like it here" he suddenly starts a conversation

"ah..it's good, just getting used to the new changes" you smile

"getting use to having a dad huh"

his words caught you by surprised but of course he would know. he's one of jimin's best friends, jimin must've said something

"yeah" you sigh "i'm really trying to get used to it"

he nods, opening his mouth to say something he gets interrupted by a younger boy who rushed over to us "hyung, hoseok asked if you could come to the back" the boy with doe eyes glances at you ask he talks to yoongi

"yeah sure" he gets up and glances at you "let's go" he waves to follow him

"jungkook, she's jimin's sister" he points at you, and hearing his name made you remember the boy. once when jimin came over he was on the phone with someone called jungkook

"oh hey, i'm jungkook"

"y/n" you smile.

passing the double doors, you expected it to be something else. maybe less crowded but it was worse, unlike where you were sitting there was a stage here. people were performing and the crowd were dancing.

yoongi turns to look at you "stay here, i'll let jimin know your in here" he points at the wall, it was starting to irritate you that they were just telling you stand still and behave basically.

nodding you lean against the wall. jungkook tells you goodbye as he follows yoongi through the crowd, someone walks up to the stage, and the light dim down even more. making it more dark in the large room. lights of multiple colors light up the room. you watched about two performances, and it was starting to be boring just standing here.

"people usually dance in a club" someone walks up to you, and your heart skipped a beat as he towers over you as he leans on the wall next to you, eyeing you as he waits for your response

"ah..i don't dance" you nibble on the inside of your cheek. intimidated by him

"my name's namjoon" he smiles again

"y/n" you keep eye contact with him.

"by the looks of your clothes, i don't think you are allowed to be in here" he looks at you from head to toe

looking down to your clothes, you really wished jimin had taken you home to change

"right, i look out of place" you chuckle awkwardly

"not at all" he says sarcastically,

"i didn't have time to change"

"how old are you" he asks

you continue to look at him without responding "i'm only asking cause you are wearing the same uniform from my school" he grins

"are you new? i've never seen you before" he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and you see his dimples show as he smiles at you.

"yeah..today was my first day" his stares makes you melt

"so y/n, you dating anyone?"

"no..you?" he shakes his head. the eye contact between the both of you drew him to lean more towards you. his hand is holding the nape of your neck, your heart is beating so fast against your chest. you glance between his eyes and lips

"can i kiss you" he whispers

and as if you were in a trance you nod at his words. smirking at your response he pulls you into a kiss.

you were screaming in the inside, this was your first kiss and you didn't know what to do, as he kisses you , you just stood there awkwardly, namjoon pulls away and raises his eyebrow

"sorry i've never kissed anyone" you feel your face and ears heat up in embarrassment

he chuckles at your words "don't worry, i'll teach you" he kisses you with his warm and soft lips once more. i could feel the soft tickle of his breathe as we kissed.

"breathe with your nose" i gasp for air, his lips brushed against mine "breathe, cause i'm going to do it again" his lips touch yours as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth you parted your lips slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. bodies pressed together heatedly against the wall, you finally get used to kissing him, my heartbeat was loud in my ears and i wondered if he heard it too. breathing heavily as our lips are pressed together, he tilts my head back deepening the kiss even more

"good girl..see you got the hang of it" his hands roamed under your skirt and he gropes your ass. making you squeal at his sudden touch. "i'm surprised you let me just kiss and touch you however i want" he massages your butt

"it's just that..your handsome" i feel so embarrassed that my eyes tear up.

"yeah?" without wasting time he kisses you again, more eagerly

the kiss overpowered all my senses, he lifted me up. making my legs wrap around his hips. i cling onto his shoulders.

breaking the kiss we stare at each other as we catch our breathe. his hands caressing my ass. my hands wrapped around his neck. he leaves a trail of pecks down my neck, as I tilt my head he sucks against my skin

"n-namjoon" you accidentally moan his name, causing him to smirk against your skin. bitting your bottom lip to try and keep you from letting out any other sounds. he moves his head away from your neck, pressing his thumb against the hickey he just made he grins "perfect"

breathless, you stare at him. the music quiets down and they a man walks up the stage "next up we have BTS performing" and the crowd cheers

namjoon groans, giving your ass a firm squeeze before letting you down. you both fix your appearance

"let me get your number yeah?" he smiles, reaching into his pocket

"oh sur-"

"y/n" jimin calls our your name as he makes his way through the crowd with the rest of the guys you just met

"oh jimin" you say, namjoon turns to look at the them

"namjoon, that's were you were" jin says "we were looking for you, to introduce you to jimin's sister. but seems like you already met her"

"jimin's sister?" he turns to look at you, your heart is beating fast again and you feel yourself getting red "yeah, she's y/n" jimin throws his arm around your shoulder giving you a squeeze

"oh and this is hoseok" he points at the guy with white highlights

namjoon keeps his eyes on you as you greet hoseok, jimin finds him staring at you and hits his arm

"my sisters off limits" he points at him and the rest of the guys

namjoon snickers at his words, "i'm serious" he looks at namjoon "i can see how your drooling as you stare at her" you felt like hiding, jimin speaking up about how your off limits but you already had a steamy make out with him.

namjoon lifts his arms in surrender "what ever you say jimin"

"sorry y/n we are gonna go perform, just stay here for a bit longer. once were done i'll take you home"

you nod at his words. and they all start to walk away, namjoon turns to look at you and your beet red face. he gives you a wink.

once they got on the stage your eyes couldn't leave namjoon. he was also staring at you. you felt butterflies in your stomach.

jimin tells the guys goodbye and he guides you out of the club

"lets get home before dad calls" back into his uniform he tells me that dad doesn't know that he comes here. and that he hoped i could keep it a secret.

"i'll take you home next time, sorry if you were bored"

"i wasn't...bored" you respond, thankful you had the helmet on so he wouldn't see your beet red face.

"so you wanna come when i have shows?"

you nod

----

getting home you go to your room. laying on your bed you touch your lips, where just a hour ago namjoon was kissing you

"that was my first kiss" you blush as you remember how he touched you.

"i didn't get his number....was he serious when he told jimin .." sighing you walk out the room and walk to jimin's. opening the door slowly you hear the water running, you look at the night stand and see his phone there charging.

entering his room your grab his phone and open it. his password was your birthday. going into his contact you look for namjoon's number, taking out your phone you save it onto your phone.

clearing his apps you put the phone down and walk out the room closing the door slowly behind you

"how was school" startled you drop your phone, your dad was at the staircase

"it was good.." you look at him

he nods, scratching the back of his head

"how was work"

"good good" you nod

"i got some take out, so when jimin comes out we can all eat"

"ok"

he nods and makes his way downstairs

picking up your phone you rush to your room, you look at namjoon's contact number. gathering all your courage you press one the message icon.

Namjoons chat

Hey, it's y/n. i got your number from jimins phone..

attagirl, i was wondering how i was gonna get your number. i knew jimin wouldn't have given it to me

sorry about him, i didn't think he'd say that. he always does that when it comes to me

i can see why ;) i'm gonna have to go, i'm heading home but see you at school tomorrow?

yeah see you tomorrow

closing the chat i grab my pillow and scream into it.

[eleanorbloom]

Moonlight: Part Four

Disclaimer: Open Heart and most of the characters are owned by Pixelberry. Matilde is a creation of mine.

Book/Pairing: Open Heart / Bryce Lahela x F! MC (Matilde Luna)

Word Count: 3.2k Warnings/Rating: Cursing. Some angst and anxiety/Teen.

Author’s Note: First of all, I wanna give a big thanks to @peonierose who made this beautiful moodboard for today's chapter 🥺❤ Thank you so much darling! It's been a pleasure meeting you and share our most honest thoughts about everything! You're a true angel! Never stop being you!

Second, thanks to all of you for your support with my series, it means the world that you read it and share your insights with me! You make me so happy and encourage me to keep writing and stay true to what I want to share, so thank youuuu!!! ❤

That's all, folks, hope you enjoy this new chapter!

Moonlight taglist: @dalishessence @curiousconch @chocopeppermintcake @utterlyinevitable @secretaryunpaid @kachrisberry @romereadingshop @thegreentwin @blackcatkita @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Part Four: Sunlight

“Lahela, I told you it’s not necessary.”

“Don't be stubborn and give me the address, Luna,” Bryce insisted as he was turning on the engine of his car.

It was a warm summer night at the end of July. The waning moon was hanging above us like the crown jewel of a very delicate veil of thousand tiny sparks.

Early that day Bryce had found out I was moving to the new apartment with the other interns, so he signed himself up to help me move my stuff without even telling him one iota, and despite my constant declines.

I don’t know which one of us was the real stubborn there.

“Okay, there you go,” I mumbled after typing the address on his cellphone, defeated.

I couldn’t understand why the insistence on helping me when I had made myself very clear I could handle it all by myself, but there was nothing I could do now. I was trapped with him.

So I tried to enjoy the ride to my old place, taking in the view of the crowded avenues of Boston at night, the multicolor street lights dancing around as the car was moving, the warm breeze blowing through the open windows, the chatter of people mixing with our casual conversations about our day.

For a moment, I forgot all about my situation. Bryce had this way of making all my problems fade away when he was around; but when we reached the old building, any feeling of calmness was suddenly gone and all my anxiety back.

I led him silently to the main hall, my cheeks blushing and my stomach churning. Bryce was going to be the first and only person that would see the ridiculousness of a room I had been living in for the last three weeks.

Fuck, this is more embarrassing than I thought it would be, I told myself when I stood in front of the door.

It was mortifying.

The door was just a few feet from the staircase and in front of the mailboxes, exposed to all kinds of noise, from the staircase itself and from the people getting their mail at any time of the day (or night).

Bryce waited expectantly behind me as I was opening the door of the small room.

“Oh my god, you were living here?” he said the moment I opened the door.

“Shut up.”

He practically laughed his ass off when he gave the first glance at the room, full of boxes and suitcases ready to take away.

“Matilde... Hahaha!” Bryce giggled, after having to duck his head to cross the door, “Oh my god, Elijah wasn’t kidding... hahaha! Wasn’t exaggerating when he… haha! Oh shit, when he called you the Chosen One hahaha!”

I watched him wiping the tears off his eyes with the coldest glare I had. But he was too busy inspecting the room to notice. With his head slightly slumped, the place barely had room for the two of us, much less to walk inside, but still, Bryce managed to take a tour of the tiny room and the even more tiny bathroom.

“Can we agree this is like a Polly Pocket room Human’s edition?” He asked when he came out of the bathroom, “And specially made for Matilde Luna? Because it suits your height so perfectly, mirror and all.”

“Fuck you, Lahela.”

The only thing I could do at that moment was to be angry. Angry at the fact that someone was witnessing how spectacularly bad I had failed and would laugh at me for the rest of my life.

How did I let this happen? Why didn't I just hide or escape the hospital before Bryce could find me?

“How did you never run out of oxygen here? With all the stuff you have inside, you should suffocate in four hours, minimum.”

“For fuck’s sake, Lahela, are you done? You came here to help me, not to laugh at me.”

“I can do both,” he coughed, choking on his own laughter, “Come on, you cannot tell me this isn’t funny.”

Bryce grinned at me for long moments, waiting for me to join him. For a moment I couldn't understand why I'd do such a thing.

What in all this fucking disgrace is funny??????

But then, I understood.

Despite knowing how serious and embarrassing this was, I realized Bryce wasn’t laughing at me or at the mistake I made. He was laughing at the absurdity of it all.

The room, the situation, nothing made sense. It was ridiculous. Pathetic. But still, still managed to steal a good laugh from Bryce. Why wouldn't it be the same with me? Because I used to take myself too seriously. This mistake was unforgivable. I had cried over the spilled milk for weeks, mortified and angry at my mistake, but now, now that I was saying goodbye to this absurd room, I had nothing left to do but laugh. Join Bryce and laugh.

So I did it. I simply burst into laughter. Bryce followed afterward and we laughed and laughed and laughed for what seemed an eternity, both sitting in the tiny bed while our giggles resonated in the small room, echoing in the hallway when the space wasn't enough for so much noise. Choked words, weird noises, Bryce mocking at my height, feigning to pack all my room and save it in his pocket, me rolling over the bed, cackling.

Nonsense.

I couldn’t remember the last time I laughed this much and this hard. The last time my stomach hurt from laughing so much.

It felt so freeing. Calming, even.

“Okay, okay, yes,” I breathed after a long while, wiping the tears off my cheeks with the back of my hand as I was sitting up, “It’s pretty funny and absurd that I got to live here, I give you that.

“Yeah. And cruel. And hideous that someone rents a place like this,” Bryce continued, his voice full of disbelief though he was still shaking his head in amusement.

“Yeah, luckily I’m leaving this place behind for good.”

“Well said,” he agreed, taking a deep breath before standing up from the bed, “Now, shall we start?”

“If you’re done laughing at me, sure,” I said, standing up as well.

“Oh, no, I’m not, I’ll probably laugh a couple of times more but we should start while I’m a little composed.”

After several rounds carrying the boxes to his car, we finally packed all that was inside, leaving the room under the stairs completely empty, except for the bed and desk.

“I cannot even imagine what I’ll owe you after this,” I grunted, turning to Bryce while he was waiting for a green light on our way to the new apartment. He was unusually quiet humming a pop song playing on the radio. “Dinner in Dubai or something?”

Bryce laughed heartily before looking back at me, his gaze surprisingly soft, “Nah, let’s just add another beer.”

“Just another beer?” I remarked, incredulous.

“Yeah, knowing I can keep annoying you for as long as I want is the best payback.”

“Oh no,” I gasped, shocked, “this was your plan all along?”

“Yup, you’re stuck with me, Luna.”

“Damn, just when I was starting to think you were a good guy…”

“Your intuition radar sucks, let me tell you.”

“Idiot!” I giggled, elbowing him as he was speeding up after the traffic light changed to green.

When we arrived at the new apartment, we downloaded all the boxes and suitcases and with the help of a shopping cart, we got everything in the elevator. As the door of the elevator opened on my floor, we found Jackie outside, waiting to give me a hand with the boxes.

“I must confess I didn’t believe it when you told me the scalpel jockey was gonna help you, Tilly,” Jackie said, taking the shopping cart full of boxes out of the elevator and wheeling it to our apartment, “But damn, it was true. You're not afraid you'll break your precious hands, meathead?”

“There are riskier things than helping a friend to move, you know?” Bryce retorted, walking behind her, carrying a big box in his hands,

A shiver ran down my spine.

Friend.

“Oh, please, as if Matilde would ever consider you her friend,” Jackie huffed, downloading the boxes from the shopping cart, snooty, “She just accepts your presence because you’re behind her all day like a lost puppy.”

“Excuse me, but I was Matilde’s first friend at Edenbrook, so respect your superiors and put in line, sis,” Bryce demanded, acting offended.

Jackie snorted, “Sure, bro.”

“Could you stop fighting, and bring this box to my room Lahela? Thank you,” I snarled, feeling inexplicably upset.

“See? Matilde’s reflecting, she doesn’t have the heart to tell you you’re not friends.”

I rolled my eyes without any of them noticing and kept walking towards my room, ruminating.

The word friend couldn’t stop spinning around my head.

“Are you okay, there?” Bryce asked after dropping the box over the mattress. He approached me with a worried look as he noticed I stood in silence for a couple of seconds, still trying to understand what was happening.

“Why do you ask?”

“You look pissed off.”

I was about to bluff my feelings with another jaded remark, as I always did, but I couldn’t. For some reason, I didn’t have the heart to act that way with Bryce this time.

Acting like an ass had become part of my personality over the years even though that was not what I was on the inside. It’s just how I had to learn to be to protect myself. My armor.

But with Bryce there was no need at that moment, though I didn’t know why.

Suddenly, Bryce chuckled, the street lights outside reflecting on his face at the lack of curtains, “Wow, it must hurt real bad being friends with me, uh?”

I knew it was a joke, but that shit hurt. Was it really a joke? Or it actually did hurt to be friends with him? Was I ashamed of him?

Of course not.

I stared at him trying to understand all of this. Why it felt so bad, like a wave of emotions soaking everything inside me with truths, messages I still couldn’t decipher.

“I… ”

“It's okay, you don't need to consider me your friend just because I did you this huge favor," he teased, but something in his eyes told me he was being completely and painfully honest.

Of course I consider you my friend, how could I not?

My eyes widened.

Oh shit.

He was my friend.

Bryce and I were friends.

That’s what I couldn’t process.

“Bryce, I-”

“Bryce? Wow, now I’m suspecting you hit your head with the trunk door.”

“Shit, Lahela, could you shut the fuck up for a moment? I’m trying to say something here but I can’t if you keep-”

“Okay, okay, I’ll shut up,” he said conciliatorily, raising his hands in surrender, “I'm sorry.”

I looked up at him but I couldn't come up with anything.

What do you say in a situation like that? When you realize you're friends with someone?

Actually, you don't say anything. It just happens. But I couldn't do it that way. It didn't feel right.

“I… I just realized we’re friends.”

“That’s it?” he said, kind of surprised, then he giggled, “Of course we're friends!”

“It's just… It's not that simple, at least not to me,” I muttered, my voice quivering.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to find the strength, the bravery to talk. When I opened my eyes, Bryce was looking at me completely serious. That made me even more nervous.

“I… I haven’t had a friend in years, many years,” I confessed, fidgeting my hands in front of my stomach.

What the fuck am I doing?

“Oh.”

“So this is kind of overwhelming to me. Probably to you it's nothing, but it's… it's difficult for me to process something like this. So that’s why… I’m confused.”

God, this was so embarrassing. I felt so exposed opening my heart and mind like that. I knew that's not how this worked. You simply become friends with someone without acknowledging it explicitly, like some kind of hidden code that happens silently over time and you don't realize how and when it happens until it's too late and you're already friends with someone.

But that’s not how my mind and my heart worked, unfortunately.

“I'd been all day trying to understand why you wanted to help me today when you knew I could do it on my own, and just now that you said we were friends I realized that, well, we are friends. And it took me this long because I just…”

My voice was shaky but I knew I couldn’t stop at that. With my heart beating fast, I turned around and started looking at the window, focusing on the tiny cars passing by down on the street, the even sound soothing part of my anxiety as I tried to keep talking.

“I don't… I don't know how to do this friendship thing, Bryce,” I continued, my eyes now staring at my reflection in the glass and a part of Bryce's figure contemplating me a few feet from the window. “I'm not used to having people close to me. And you have been the closest anyone has been in a very long time, so when people invade my space and my, I don't know, this independence I have, it's hard for me to just...go with it, and instead, I try to push everyone away because I actually don't know how to do this, so it's easier to get rid of them instead of… trying.”

Friendship was probably one of the most basic human skills, but I was a complete ignorant in the subject. And I was terribly afraid of failing if I learned how to do it.

Bryce didn’t say anything, but his reflection showed me he was pensive.

After a while, he took a step toward me, and before I could even panic, he softly pulled my arm and turned me to him, “Hey… I think you’re doing it great already.”

Blushing, I looked up at him, reluctant, “Liar.”

“It’s true.”

“I’ve been an ass with you this whole time.”

He chuckled, “I thought that was part of your charm.”

I snorted.

“But you are a good friend, Matilde. You are.”

My eyes crystallized seeing his earnestness, hearing his words.

I believed every fucking word he said, like an irrefutable truth.

“How can you be so sure?”

“There are some things you just know.”

Probably like I know you’re being honest.

I nodded before looking back at the window. He did the same. We watched the Boston lights in silence for a couple of seconds until he suddenly released a laugh, “ And it's not that difficult to be a friend, you know? You make it look like it’s like applying to Med School or something, but it’s just… hanging out with people and saying yes to everything they say.”

I rolled my eyes, “Okay, I might not be the most versed in the subject, but even I know that isn't true.”

“You got me, but what is true is that you must let them help you when they offer help.”

I blushed.

“Matilde, I know you can do it, that you're super capable, and independent, and self-sufficient, and I-can-do-it-on-my-own-dammit, but making your life easier doesn't hurt, okay? ”

I bit my lip to suppress the smirk forming, “I guess so.”

Friendship. That mysterious and distant concept I thought I would never experience.

I didn't know it could surge like that. This easy. This fast. I thought it was impossible for me, after so many years of failing. But right at that moment, I knew it could be. Bryce was the only person that could make it possible.

His nature was genuinely welcoming, sincere, and understanding, making me feel comfortable the very moment we started speaking. And his warmth was numbing, that’s why I gave in so easily to him, as I never did with anyone before. That’s why I didn’t even realize when I started to trust him.

And his presence… His presence was like the first rays of sunlight after a cold and dark winter, melting everything around to let the flowers bloom and the trees turn green. The kind that makes you close your eyes and smile. That soothes you.

When I was around him, I could feel how something was growing inside me. How the light was entering. How the things around me were slowly getting visible. How the world was turning colorful and the noises were making sense.

And I could see how much I had grown up just in three weeks since I met him. I had opened up to someone for the first time, even if it were small things. And that evening, I had learned to not take myself and life too seriously.

Just as sunlight to nature, his presence had helped me grow as a person.

“Oooh, is that a brand new bookshelf you have in this box?”

I blinked a couple of times before directing my eyes to where Bryce was approaching, coming out of my absorption. “Oh, that. Yeah, now that I have enough space to have… you know, furniture, I thought it would be nice having my books on a shelf, instead of being abandoned in boxes,” I shrugged.

“You need help assembling that?” He asked, staring intently at me.

My first instinct was saying no, of course. I could handle it on my own. And Bryce knew, he perfectly knew that. He arched an eyebrow, still waiting for my answer.

This was a test.

“That would be great, thank you, Bryce,” I said finally. But I really meant it.

“Excellent, I'll go for my toolbox, wait here.”

“Okay.”

When Bryce went out to his car, I sat down on the bed, smiling like a stupid. I didn’t realize how two single tears streamed down my face until they started to tickle in my jaw.

Tears of happiness.

My heart couldn’t with this. It was too much. But I let myself feel that moment. I hadn’t been this happy, I hadn’t felt this appreciated in years, so it was understandable my poor heart was overflowing with the emotions of that day.

It was incredible the power Bryce Lahela had to warm a heart. Even a heart that had been sleeping and freezing for 14 years to be exact.

At that moment, I could see how the sunlight was filtering through the darkness inside me, and this time I didn't want to stop it.

I wanted to let it in.

I wanted to let him in.

[daddywright]

I have only recently got into the ace attorney fandom, and this story was the first story I read, and I feel spoiled! I absolutely loved every chapter, so I'm gonna word vomit here and tell you everything I love about this!

"She offers him a smile. It’s small, tentative, but it possesses a strength that makes a hidden part of him twist and burn with quiet envy." the first time we see nick's wish to be as strong as mia!

Considering the fact that nick didn't have any prominent figure in his life, it makes sense that he would look up to gregory so much

"Phoenix looks up, and starts walking towards Mia Fey

He doesn't stop for two years."

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT MIA AND NICK HAD WAS PRECIOUS AND DESERVES MORE THAN WHAT THE FANDOM GIVES THEM

"Larry’s arms wrap around him, squeezing almost too tight" People forget that Larry and Phoenix were good friends too, and Larry would help his best friend

"Nobody believed him, nobody but Mia" Maya is what Phoenix is to Mia and I adore that

"He wishes, desperately, that he’d said it while she was still alive. I loved you. For everything you did." Not you absolutely breaking my fucking heart

Also the first AA game felt unnatural in the sense of how seemingly unaffected Phoenix seemed at Mia's murder so I'm really glad you wrote it this way

"Expensive. Thoughtful. Too much." SHUT UP NICK YOU DESERVE ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING

Also quick break to mention how I absolutely fucking love your writing style and i wish I was literally half as talented as you cuz the last time I read something that made me feel this multitude of emotions was ocean vuong. And I practically worship Ocean Vuong. So now I worship you too

"You're a stranger to me // When will I stop hoping?" I never really realised just how badly nick musta been hurt by good ol' bratworth before this fic, but now that I have read it, it would have hurt him so bad

"Is this why you never answered my letters? Because I was a reminder? Because it hurt too much?" Honestly what happened to miles and phoenix's friendship hurts so much because it should have never happened, and miles didn't deserve that.

"Maybe Miles Edgeworth is not the man he thought he’d be, either." yo when I tell you this hurt I mean this huRT

Fun fact! My birthday is on the same day as DL-6 anniversary. Gregory Edgeworth died on my birthday. I feel horrible now

"monster. You were nine years old and he's a monster. " No one has made me feel this much emotion for what happened to Miles in a single sentence other than you. I commend you for that

"I love you," he says quietly. He has never said those words to anyone, except for Dahlia Hawthorne.

Maya sniffs in his ear, crushing him tight. "I love you, too."

He has never heard them back.

PHOENIX HAS NEVER HEARD THE WORDS " I LOVE YOU" COME BACK TO HIM ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME WHY NOW I'M SAD

"Tell me everything. Every detail—" Miles is worried bout nick and why wouldn't he? gods you're so gay miles but tbf if I knew someone like nick irl i'd go ballistic too

"He determined the motive for his own assault...with amnesia. Naturally." My man's smart af and he is king

"Is that what she thinks of me? That I'm like that? That I don't care about who the bad guys really are?" Gumshoe noooo you're hella precious! Also this particular chapter was so well written! loved this soo much!

Also taking a minute to appreciate the pacing! Rarely do I ever come across an author who just hits that sweet spot of perfect pacing and you did! so thank you!

Alright so here are a few thoughts that I felt capcom needed to do which you did for us!

no. 1 - Address the trauma phoenix faced with not only dahlia but also with mia's death

no. 2 - Actually fucking flesh out a good relationship dynamic between larry and phoenix

no. 3 - actually! have! phoenix! be hurt! in bridge to turnabout! istg my man would not have dropped from a burning bridge to a freezing river only to have a cold

AUNT FRANZY AND PEARLS MAN!

THEY CUTE

ok so I have a LOT of feelings for bridge to turnabout and HOO BOY BUCKLE UP

So I always thought that in this fic, miles must have felt fucking awful! I mean he very clearly hates who he was and what that has led to but that must have been doubled over with this case! Phoenix would have died if not for mia and it would have been indirectly miles's fault. I think about that alot

Like he said that he very much regrets whatever he did as bratworth in the phone call with gumshoe but i don't think he anticipated this. poor edgeworth

Also I think this was the final nail in the coffin for miles. Phoenix forgave him, after all the fucked up shit miles did, and that made that man go "how is this guy so fucking compassionate awwwww shit I'm in fucking love with this idiotic brave man".

my main thoughts were "holy shit phoenix must have been feeling awful." like to learn that you were in love with a person who turned out to be a murderer but then not a murderer cuz everything you felt about that was real and just...... it must have hurt. He never fell in love with dahlia. it was iris, always. and WHAT ABOUT MILES DURING THIS!!! Like to learn that the man you love was falsely led to believe that he was in love with a person he rarely met and then learn that his ex who is not murderous might still be in love with him because "that was real. that part was real." like damn. people just gloss over this

also I feel terrible for iris F in the chat for iris lads.

Dahlia literally haunting that courtroom scene. I felt mia's power. I felt her desperation. I felt everything and I am once again in awe of the absolute power your writing holds.

also godsdamn pearls had to go through all that shit huh. also FRANMAYAAAAAA THANK YOUUUU

I too, am a hoe confused as to what I should feel towards diego.

Ok anyways we jump to disbarment now

"He just winks at her and says Maya has other talents, and if Mystic Maya overhears, she puffs up at him like the fish from the aquarium she saw once, the one with all the spikes and silly eyes."

you know what constantly amazes me? your ability to change tones so effortlessly. When writing from edgey's pov, the language is sophisticated. precise. when writing from pearly's pov your language is simplistic, child-like. from phoenix's pov it's natural. grounded

"She never knew anybody who made faces like him, growing up in Kurain, and it’s one of the things that makes him special." Yo phoenix is the most amazing uncle ever and we all know it ok he's brilliant

I'M RUNNING OUT OF CHARACTER LIMITS

PEARLY CALLING EDGEY AT FIRST SIGN OF TROUBLE I'M SOFFFFTTTT

“I think I did something really bad." trucy baby no it's not your fault

pearl and trucy bonding supremacy. my girls would fuck shit up

"She’d meant to do this properly, one day." Thank you for giving importance to maya's feelings. thank you for treating her like a real human being. thank you

“Everything that happened...for what? It’s only gotten people hurt. Pearly. Our mother.” Me. Me." I felt so bad for maya here. I wish I could tell you in precise words about how this exact framing of the sentence is what broke me. "me. me" maya deserved more, but mia did all she could

"What do scared kids need? ...Food." not you breaking my godsdamn heart again. phoenix just knows what's it like being a helpless child, and he'll be damned if he ever lets anyone face that again

“‘Course, Pearls,” he says reflexively, before frowning. “What for?” reflexively. if every man in the world could be like phoenix wright then the world would be worthy of the gods

"Another one?" give it 2 years edgey she'll be your daughter too

"after countless hours creating the man’s living space in his mind from the background snatches he’d seen in the man’s ridiculous video calls." NOT ONLY DO THEY VC FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON BUT ALSO MILES ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME TRYING TO RECREATE HIS ROOM?? BECAUSE HE WOULD ONE DAY LIKE TO BE IN IT??? good gods these bitches gay. good for them

"because just as day is light and night is dark, Phoenix Wright is an honorable man." damn straight. you love to see it (it being a 27+ year old man pining for another 27+ year old man)

also hey miles! how do you feel about the fact that the man you love changed his fucking major and degrees halfway through college just so he could see you again only for you to be incredibly rude to him and make him end up in jail! (i bully edgeworth cuz i love him)

"Wright finishes, shrugging like it’s nothing, like his commitment and belief isn’t the most extraordinary thing that Miles has ever faced." it's more than pining at this point. it's incredible faith and trust. Miles had someone who cared about him even after all those years despite him having changed so drastically, ofc he would be surprised. Miles loves phoenix and so do i.

also HOT DAMN YOU WRITING IS JUST * MWAH *

Also the whole segment where they kiss is just !!!!! miles wants! it's beautiful! THEY'RE IN LOVEEE

receiving poisonous bottles which your ex tried to kill you with. My man can't get a break huh

Miles being chivalrous and protective and absolutely stealing my godsdamn heart (and phoenix's too)!

Klavier being the absolute king that he is we stan

The hostage situation section? gods miles must have been terrified.

Phoenix not being able to promise pearly that he'd always come back home and miles hearing it and like... ouch. my heart. you didn't need to do that (but i love your for it)

GODS THE CLIMAX WITH KRISTOPH WAS SOOO SATISFYING AND LIKE MY MAN PHOENIX REALLY PUNCHED THAT BITCH HUH

klavier baby I am so sorry

ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!

and thus my comment ends. I believe I have almost used up all of my commenting limits and i leave with these few parting words : HOLY SHIT YOUR AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU!

also I made a playlist on spotify for this fic! here's the link : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3k8lRHiO8ZXQDLpiTUL7SN?si=fc3b35b4ab064867

gods this was long huh

GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY....WHERE DO I BEGIN...THE FACT THAT YOU BROKE THE CHARACTER LIMIT ON AO3 AND MADE A PLAYLIST? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?

thank you so much for all the amazing things you said....i am crying on a Wednesday morning knowing my writing was appreciated this much. thank you!

[ourmondobongo]

Hi! I am a big fan of your meta!!! It is amazing!!!!

I feel like you have done it before, but because you have actually quite a big amount of them so I may miss some of them (sorry!!!!!!)

But I would like to ask about any critiques of your on SNK (the full story)? You can take your time to write it or do it in any ways that you like, I would really appreciate and would love to listen from you!!!!

Heyy youuuu, homie!!!

Ow, thank you so much!!! And I love when we engage in our talks, too!! It's always fun and insightful!

Sorry the lateness, but

Now my critiques!

I love SNK. I really, really love it!

By the manga plot, the deep philosophical debates, amazing characters, the anime, and the emotional impact inside of the story - SNK is, to me, one of the most thrilling stories I have read. I sure recommend it for everyone to read with an open mind - and look out for the smallest details in the drawing especially!

However, if you are a particularly empathetic or emotional person, and love to put yourself in the characters’ shoes, I would definitely “warn” that AOT is an almost insufferable story of profound pain - especially pain over personal life losses. Like, imo, from beginning to the end, SNK is an immense story of tragedy with a few tints of beauty. It's about the tragic lives of humans from a world dominated by fear, hate, overpowering power in the wrong hands, and the individual and collective struggle to put an end to their suffering. Of people striving with their lives on the line to change something and preferably for the better.

I think Yams portrayed this all nice and realistically well most of the time, especially because he didn't flat out draw characters pure evil or good, nor flawless, or with the same "universal" mentality. He depicted individuals acting and reacting to their world in their unique way - from protagonists to antagonists -, and reasonably. And I think the closeness (or repulse) people got with some of the personal mindsets of his characters is a great thing to show how compelling he made them. It's quite interesting (and sometimes frustrating as hell) to see others reacting to this. And, of course, Yams also used many side characters to unfold meaningful stories/life lessons - like Carla, in chapter 71 (I love her so much! T-T).

A few things that particularly stuck to me about snk narrative, though, is that Yams made a manga where everything is "corruptible" depending on the situation - from good intentions to the "certainties" that people have about themselves or about the way of the world.

Love, for example, is something that is often depicted as the source of strength/goodness for manga characters, but Yams made Ymir spend 2000 years being used to bring hell to the human world while in an agony of love, yearning for freedom; The “power of bonds or friendship” not always is gonna work; The beliefs in doing what is morally right can (and will) be used by others to hurt you deeply or get your loved ones killed; Your dreams can become your worst enemy; though it’s terrible and unspeakably painful most of the time, Death per se isn't always the worst thing in life; the best moment to attack an enemy is while they are “transforming” lmao (the War Hammer fight).

In other words, I like how Yams breaks some common manga tropes, and a few “set in stone” real-life ideas that make us deem “this character is full evil, and this is fully good”, and he makes us question and analyze their lives, background, thoughts, actions, and reactions to each circumstance more in-depth. When we do this, we have the opportunity to wonder ourselves what once Yams said in his interviews - "Is it a coincidence I'm not a serial killer?"; "What's better? A life without freedom where people love you and you have enough to survive or a life with freedom where security is unsure?"

The other thing is that snk presents us with many philosophies and life lessons. We saw more or fewer discussions about Dehumanization, Nihilism, the Will of Life, Evolutionism, Creationism, Humanity's nature, philosophies of Freedom, Prejudice, "philosophy of Fears", human attraction and satisfaction over violence and bloodthirsty, social manipulation, unjust social-gov systems, and many other issues. So if we bring snk world to our context in a more personal perception to analyze our real world, there is a deep multitude of topics to explore and debate!

I think snk is really nice in exploring these and other humanistic issues. That's why I believe that one of the best ways to read it is as a cautionary tale to us.

A lot of people did a lot of bad, horrible, and unforgivable things. But more than finding ways to prove "one was born a monster", "one’s nature is pure evil", "a hero/good person is only the one who doesn't kill", "a bad person is one leading people to death", or "the one who has the guts to kill his friends is doing nothing but his 'job' as it is justified as for the greater good"... I think snk shows how nature, environment, upbringing, personal beliefs, relationships, power/powerlessness, and especially inner choices all play a part in how people might live or react to the world around them.

We like to set concrete parameters that distantiate us from the ones who do the "bad things", but in reality, we don't know 100% for sure if a few weeks/years from now, "in a bad day", we won't snap while driving and do something unimaginable. We don't know if, in an influx of bad feelings, we won't be capable of killing ourselves. We don't know if a simple leisure activity might become a terrible addiction, and consume us until we have nothing left inside ourselves. We don't know if we will be kidnapped and used for sex or organ trafficking, and the things we will be forced to do. We don't know if, by the fear of people hurting our beloved ones, we won't be capable of doing extremes acts. We don't know if, when pushed into a sudden war zone, we will have to kill enemy kids used as weapons to save more people. We don't know what we can do to survive if pushed into a extreme situation (cw: like many disaster survival people had done already). We don't know if being who we are will deeply hurt the people we love, or how long it might be until we notice that we might be a toxic influence to others unless the heavy damage is already done. We don't know if, if we were more attentive to our surroundings, we could be making the world of someone just a little bit less shit...

So lowering the planetary stakes of snk to something more possible to our reality, I think one of the impactful lessons of the manga is "be careful with your nature, and pay attention to your desires, beliefs, and actions". To be human is to be susceptible to unpredictable turns of events and mutable circumstances. Some situations will take an immense amount of effort to do the "right thing". But it's up to you alone to decide your future - your decision about what YOU will do next. Because there is always a choice: be it a horrible one, a good one, or choosing to do absolutely nothing.

Of course, everyone is unique with their own individuality. And irl, there are unexplainable situations for some human choices/actions. But most of the time, there are universal points between all humans that make fundamental differences in making people, communities, countries, and the world a better place. There are many social constructions that have been damaging our reality for millennia, starting with the idea that some human beings are worth less than others. Not going too deep in the topic, but this was/is many times "justified" in many ideological differences, such as "the strongest has power over the weak", and the unacceptance of other individuals based on their skin colors, ethnicities, sex, religion, culture, money/social status, education, etc. However, this all has probably more roots in human egoism and greed, and the difficulty in loving and caring and respecting others healthfully. How different wouldn't it be to ourselves and the world if there existed more dispositions to talk-and-listen and show respect to each other through positive acts of service, altruism, and compassion...

Okayyyy - I think I really went a bit wild on this post, sorry!!!

But, yeah, to summarize, SNK is really a great work of fiction forged in loss, pain, human flaws and strengths and reader' tears that tells us there is worth in being born and be alive to enjoy today's rain, sunlight, and loved one's presence at the same time this all might be gone in the next instant, and hell broke open...

...So live.

[selfcareparker]

LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

[msjr0119]

The Unexpected Roommate

Part 1

What happens when your roommate of many years falls in love and moves out unexpectedly? Drake Walker was in this situation, until his friends fiancée suggested that her friend moved in to replace her fiancé. The new roommate is causing tension already. Will they be able to survive living together? What’s the worse that could happen?

Drake x Riley

Leo x Olivia

Warnings: Swearing, tension, mention of smut.

Tags- using combined tag list for this, as always if you want to be removed please do let me know. I won’t be offended.

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @drxkewalker @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @yukinagato2012 @nz1091 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desireepow-1986 @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @forthebrokenheartedthings-blog @princessleac1 @scarletreesex @bebepac

******

“So why is your roomie such an arse... what’s up with you, Riley? With every other roomie you’ve used that charm. He can’t be that bad?” Riley rolled her eyes back, knowing that no one would fully understand the extent of Drake’s awful attitude. Most people would assume that she was over exaggerating- wishing deep down that she was. Ordering another tray of shots for herself and her friend Daniel- she believed that this would numb all the negativity at home, even if it was only going to last for a few hours. I hate him. Or do I? Hate is a strong word. I think I’d have a closer friendship with a serial killer. Yes, I hate him. He doesn’t deserve me to be nice to him. He hates me too, so the feelings are mutual.

“He’s just... so frustrating. He’s horrendous towards me. He hasn’t even given me a chance- you know to get to know me.”

“It’s still early days, moving in with a stranger is going to be tough at first especially as you don’t know each other. Maybe when you are both off work, sit down and talk. Find out what each other like, what you both dislike.” Daniel had his own thoughts regarding his friends new roommate but wouldn’t dare expose this. Not needing to give her an excuse to pour alcohol down his new Armani shirt. In his mind, he believed that the man possibly actually liked Riley rather than hate her. Using the ‘hate’ as an excuse to not confess his true feelings- Daniel believed this way the reason why. Daniel himself had been in the same situation with a previous relationship.

“He wouldn’t even give me the light of day, so he’s definitely not going to talk to me like that. Fuck him. Is there any overtime at work? The less time I spend at home, the better.”

“I’ll text Carlos and find out. But for now, let’s drown our sorrows. Let’s drink!”

****

Fumbling through her bag for her key, she soon regretted having far too many shots with Daniel. Squinting her eyes, she was staring through the keyhole rather than inserting the key. Not knowing how long she had been stood up attempting to complete the ‘difficult’ task of opening a door- she believed that there was a god, saving her from any embarrassment if anyone was to walk by. As Drake opened the door, he caught her before allowing her to face plant the floor. For fuck sake, muttering to himself- he helped Riley stand up. As soon as she regained her balance after a few wobbles- he soon let go of her.

“Heh. Thanks, roooomieee.” Giggling like a naughty school girl, she was grateful that he was still awake in a way. That was until she saw his body tense, and the anger that surrounded his face.

“Past your curfew! It’s a good job that I’m still awake. Get inside now!” Shrugging her shoulders, she wasn’t his child, but she damn felt like it. Deciding to act like a teenager, to suit the ‘role’ allocated to her- she decided to become cocky and back chat him.

“Technically, I could stay outside for another minute. It’s 2.59am. So I’m back before my curfew. Arsehole.” Checking his phone, she was in fact correct- much to his annoyance.

“Just get inside before you vomit everywhere. I’m going to bed.” Following his commands, she walked into the kitchen- turning the kettle on she knew that she needed to sober up. Mainly to be able to provide Drake with any insults back- insults that would actually make sense, rather than them being garbage. Removing her dress, once it had reached her ankles- she kicked it through to the living room. Landing in the bin, she spun her body around in circles- even her drunk mind was contemplating doing a back flip to celebrate. “Goalllllll....” She cheered, before becoming silent hearing that all familiar stomp echo around his room.

Impatiently waiting for the kettle to boil in her matching lacy underwear, she was wondering if she had actually turned it on- knowing full well that didn’t trust herself when intoxicated.

I will wait, I will wait for youuuu 🎵.... to boil. I’ll wait for the boil to kettle. Maybe I should become a songwriter? I’ll send the updated lyrics to Mumford and Sons. She laughed to herself.

And I'll kneel down 🎵 ... oh fuck how am I getting back up?

Wait for now 🎵.... did I even turn it on? I need to stand up!

Struggling to stand back up, she pulled the drawer handle off, rather than stand up. I’m a dead woman, he’s going to kill me. Get up Ri! Eventually after a few attempts she stood up, and held on to the side for the dear life. Finding some gum in her purse, she hoped that it would hold the drawer handle in place- for now at least. Continuing to sing, random songs to herself-the noise of the door swinging open with full force, muted her- she was prepared and ready for Drake to comment with some sarcasm or a insult. One, two, thr...

“Will you shut the fuck up! You sound like a strangled cat! Put some fucking clothes on too! Jesus Christ, Riley! I don’t want to see all your flab.” That’s a lie. Fuck, she’s gorgeous. Just be nice to her. Remember the letter. Shit. Where did I put it?

Flab? Who the fuck does he think he is? What an insensitive comment to make.

“Yeah, because I’m a fucking obese whale aren’t I? I don’t really want to see your face or smell your whiskey scent breathing down my neck, insulting me every fucking goddamn opportunity that you get!”

“At least I can handle my drink. Stick to one drink next time and you won’t stumble around...” Actually stumbling as if on cue, she regained her balance yet again- losing count of how many times she had been in this situation. Making sure that the coffee was black she picked up the mug and began making her way to her room.

“What the fuck do you want from me Drake? I stuck to the curfew; I cleaned up whilst you was at work, I replaced all of your food. Just get a pen and paper, write down your likes/dislikes- anymore rules and I’ll fucking abide to them. Goodnight!”

“Oh, I will do. Another rule. Don’t leave your clothes scattered on the floor, or in bins. I dislike you and your attitude.”

“Ditto!” Unable to prevent her bottom lip from trembling, Drake soon realised that he had upset her. Did he care? He wasn’t too sure.

“Riley... I’m sorry. I’m tired, you keep disturbing me. I’ve got work in a few hours. You are being pretty damn selfish.”

“Don’t. I didn’t ask for you to fucking be a parent to me- I didn’t ask for you to be my babysitter. Good fucking night.”

“I need to be a fucking babysitter, you’re a loose canon! You couldn’t even insert the key into the keyhole. Good fucking morning, you idiot!” Slamming the door like some stroppy teenager, Drake slightly jumped realising that he had once again become the bad guy. Picking her dress up from inside the bin, he lift it up to his face as he inhaled the sweet perfume that was on it. Throwing it into the washing machine, he shook his head not knowing why he insisted on wanting to be close to her by smelling it.

****

Has he gone to sleep?

Yeah, I think. Come up now. I’ll sneak you in. He’s a wanker.

Ten minutes later Daniel text her, informing her that he was waiting outside. Since she had her spat with Drake, she had sobered up a bit- seeing her friend at the door, she soon realised that the hangover was due back on the agenda for the next day.

“I’ve brought alcohol! Alcohol is fun. Nice place.” He whispered, as he tip toed inside.

“You are the best! It would be nicer if he wasn’t here.” Quietly they snuck off into her room, Riley reiterated what had happened when she had returned. Also explaining about Drake’s silly rules- one that made Daniel laugh was ‘no visitors without permission’.

“Well you’ve broken a rule. He’s going to go apeshit.”

“So?” They both provided each other with a mischievous grin.

****

Drake stirred in his bed, many thoughts were roaming through his mind. One, where the fuck did he put the letter that he had wrote after supping a full bottle of Jack Daniels. Two, his obnoxious attitude towards Riley- again, making him feel slightly guilt ridden. Three, why the fuck had he woken up at four in the morning? Knowing that he must have only shut his eyes for a slight moment- they were heavy and he wished that he could just fall asleep instantly. Forcing his eyes closed, the banging and the noises suddenly awoken him.

“Oh. My. God. Yes!! Right there... harder Daniel!”

“You like that baby? You like my big hard cock inside of you...”

“Yes.... give me more! Please!”

What the fuck? Shooting out of bed, the noises increased- attempting to block it he couldn’t. Riley was getting fucked, she wasn’t his but he couldn’t help but feel disheartened. Why do I wish it was me instead? I hate the girl. Hearing her continue to moan, gave him a slight stiffy. Get down, Walker. We hate her. She’s an annoying bitch. Talking to his cock didn’t help the situation, no matter what he did- it was still growing thinking about Riley.

“Riley! Shut the fuck up!”

“Do you want to join in Drake?”

“Do I fuck! You’ve broken a fucking rule! Some of us have work in a few hours! Shut the fuck up!”

“I’m... I’m so close... oh.... Drake? I’ll be quiet soon.... I promise....go and get some beauty sleep babe!” Punching the door, he stormed back to his room- practically suffocating himself with the pillow, he was thinking about how he was going to get revenge on her.

****

Riley bit her lip as she listened to Drake stomp off to his room. Daniel was sat on the edge of the bed practically hyperventilating due to the reaction of Drake. They were the best of friends, colleagues - most people believed that their friendship was odd. On many occasions when they had been drinking they often masturbated in front of each other not giving two fucks. It turned neither of them on. Tonight she was debating whether or not to use a dildo for that extra effect, to make their prank seem sincere and real.

“Imagine his face if he finds out that I’m gay and that I actually would never fuck you. Fishy fannies. No, thank you. Big hard swollen cocks- yes! They are welcoming. What are we doing with these condoms then?”

“I have just the plan. But first, more shots!”

****

Drake had never been able to sleep in late, unless he was on a bender. Usually he would have an early night and be an early riser. Despite the annoying disturbance only a few hours ago, he was fully awake- deciding to work at home rather than go into the office, he was grateful that he had the option to do this. Sneaking quietly out of his room, through to the living area- his eyes widened. Firstly noticing the mess that Riley and her one night stand - as he assumed - had caused. Then he saw her half naked on the couch, his previous anger had deteriorated- instead he was admiring her. Placing her into a more comfortable position than she originally was in- he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around her. Caressing her cheek, his hand lingered there for a moment. Kissing her on the forehead, he was unsure as to why she was like a magnet pulling him closer to her. Fluttering her eyelashes open, shock was written all over her face. Why is he so close? Has he found the condoms? Oh god, he’s going to kill me.

“Drake! What the actual fuck? You pervert! Have you just kissed me?” Using all of the energy she had in her, she pushed him away- forgetting how she ended up in the living room, she quickly scrutinised the room for clues. Empty bottles on the floor, my bra is on the floor- when did Daniel leave? Fuck, my head hurts.

“Have I fuck? Why the fuck would I kiss you? I hate you! I was just checking your pulse. I don’t really want to have to hide your corpse down the laundry chute!” Feeling slightly embarrassed that she called him out for something that he would always deny doing- he opened the curtains and decided to do something productive- work.

“Soz to disappoint ya but I’m very much alive! Get me some pain killers please.” The constant ache surrounding her head felt as if someone was hammering at her brain. Wrapping the blanket around her, she didn’t really want to move from the couch- however her dry chapped lips and the dehydration couldn’t be ignored for much longer.

“Enjoy your hangover, darling. I have work to do. And thanks to your antics, I need a lot of caffeine- get off of your arse and get your own pain killers.” Rolling his eyes back, he just wished that she would leave him in peace- at least until she was sober. Remembering that he wasn’t her ‘babysitter’ he didn’t owe her anything as far as he was aware. Standing up, the room was spinning and her body was swaying- Daniel you mother fucker- why is he such a bad influence? Drake typed away on his laptop- every so often he looked over towards her, quietly laughing as she was struggling to cope he had no empathy for her.

“Hey, Drake?” She turned to face him, as she swallowed the pain killers and water- not really knowing what she wanted to tell him. In the back of her mind, she felt slightly guilty for her drunk antics as she noticed that he was knackered. Feeling like she had to apologise, she decided against it- he deserved it in a way.

“For god sake what?” Slamming the cup of coffee on the table as he shouted, she flinched. No he definitely doesn’t deserve an apology.

“If you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask.” Smirking at him, he returned the smirk followed by the middle finger gesture. “Oh so you prefer fingering a girl, I see.”

“No, that was my polite way in saying fuck off.”

“I am. Don’t worry. I’m tired. Sorry, by the way.” Pausing, she noticed his perplexed expression. Sorry, that’s a start- he thought to himself.

“I used all of your stash of condoms. I also gave my lover your ‘Tom Ford’ aftershave too, to thank him for the passionate night that we shared together. I’m sure you won’t mind, it’s not like you need it. It’s only aftershave. You’re a boring bastard so don’t need it to pull. No girl in their right mind would go on a date with you.” Waving to him, she left the room- looking smug with herself. Drake assumed that she was lying about the aftershave, after a while he walked into the bathroom- it was indeed missing. There was however a lingering smell of it, as if it had been sprayed.

“Fucking bitch!” Condoms were scattered around the bathroom, each filled with different things such as; shampoo, shaving foam, toothpaste and Drake’s aftershave. Cleaning the mess up, he wasn’t sure as to why he was doing this- she made it, so she should do it. But he didn’t have time to argue, he needed to complete some work today. When he believed that he had finished, his eyes filled with anger as he looked into the mirror. Riley had left him a message on it with what he assumed was lipstick as well as a ‘kiss mark’ - his teeth grit together as he read the message.

Don’t fuck with me Drake, this is only the start! Be nice, and I’ll be the most sweetest roomie. Ri 💋

“Enjoy your hangover and work Riley, because when you return home later- I’m going to get payback.”

[innaminitus]

Lovekru

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Warning: language, angst, fluff, smut

Word count: 2819

Request:   Hi, could I ask a Bellamy Blake x reader prompt with number 23: So if you love me, say you love me. But if you don't, just let me go, please? Love your writing! Thank you and Happy Holidays :) and Hiii. Could i request some Bellamy blake x reader fluffy smut? Thank youuuu and  Bellamy smut!!!!!! Maybe like thigh riding or daddy kinks?

Prompt:  23. So if you love me, say you love me. But if you don’t, just let me go

A/N: This is... rollercoaster of emotions. There is everything inside.

Bellamy was on the other side of the campfire, on his lap was sitting a blonde girl, and her nose was constantly caressing his neck and spot behind his ear. You felt sharp pain of jealousy somewhere inside you, but you didn’t let it show. He will get bored of her, you assured yourself. He always did. And when it happens, he always came back to your bed.

There was a spark between you since your landing, and it only grew with time. It took him a week to kiss you and two to sleep with you; only to make yourself feel like a slut when the next day his tent was visited by another girl. Within a month Bellamy was with you again, this time it lasted longer, long enough for you to develop feelings for him. Your mistake was to never ask who you are for him, what does he feel. Does he have butterflies in his stomach when he kisses you? Does he miss you when you’re not together? Does his heart hurt when he sees you with others? As it turned out, no. One night he was with you, the next he was being pleased by some redheaded girl. That situation recurred few more times and now you were in Arcadia, Bellamy lost Gina and came back to you again. Until today.

He’d never called you his girlfriend and that’s a fact. You loved him, and that was also a fact. You also never told him or made anything to let him know about your feelings. You just hoped he would come back to you once more, maybe for little longer. You lived for those short moments with him, you survived each day with relentless hope for feeling his lips on yours, your bodies moving together, his deep breaths against your skin and silent moans mixing with cold air.

‘Why don’t you tell him?’ Sudden voice woke you up from your daydreaming. Raven sat next to you and handed you a cup of moonshine.

‘There is nothing to talk about.’ You shook your head. Raven knew about your feelings towards Bellamy and was your ultimate comforter when he was having fun with other girls. ‘If he was in love with me, he would not sleep with others.’

‘Maybe he’s doing it because he doesn’t know what to do with the feelings he has for you?’ She suggested and you almost wanted to agree and make yourself feel better, but you knew you couldn’t.

‘And Gina? He had no problem with these feelings.’ You sipped the moonshine, letting it dull your senses.

‘That’s different. He never hurt her like he hurt you, so it makes things easier. And he still came back to you, didn’t he?’

You shrugged.

‘Yeah, remind me for how long? A week?’ You shook your head.

‘You should just ask him if he wants to be with you for real and not just a booty call.’ She pouted.

‘I should’ve done that before he left me for the first time. Now it’s too late, it would be just weird.’ You looked away from the now kissing couple. ‘I should find somebody else. It’s been a year since we started this… relationship… and I am just tired of it.’ You emptied your cup. ‘I can’t love him forever. This has to pass.’

‘And sleeping with others won’t help you with that. Believe me, I’ve been there with Finn.’ You gave her hateful look knowing very well that she slept with Bellamy because of that. ‘We weren’t friends back then, will you stop looking at me as if you wanted me to swallow acid?’ You murmured apologies and tried not to throw up at the sight of Bellamy’s hand on that girl’s ass. ‘What I’m saying is that first thing you have to do is talk to Bell. Then you can try to find somebody else.’

You bit your lower lip. Your stomach hurt at the thought of confessing your feelings.

‘Although,’ she continued, ‘it might be hard. I’ve heard that they all try to stay away from you because you’re Bellamy’s.’

You fell silent for a moment and tried to find words in your indignation.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ You clenched your teeth. ‘I’m not his property! Or his toy! And where did you hear that?’

‘Monty told me that boys talked about it the other day.’ She seemed uncomfortable talking about it, as if she didn’t want you to know. ‘They talked about girls in general, and when it came to you they said something about how “bangable” you are. Reportedly Bellamy was pissed off when he heard that and told them to stay away from you.’

Your heart raced like crazy, but this time it was because of anger. You stood up and eyed Bellamy. He was laughing playfully with that girl still on his lap, not looking at you even once. That was enough. Enough treating you like a piece of meat he can fuck and throw away whenever he pleases.

‘Are you doing what I think you are?’ Raven asked, looking at you doubtfully.

‘Like hell I am,’ you replied, but stood still, somehow not being able to move. ‘But what am I going to tell him, Raven?’

‘Tell him that he either is truly with you or not.’ She handed you her moonshine. ‘For courage!’

You took the cup and emptied it, the liquid warmed your insides. You nodded, more to yourself than to your friend and moved to Bellamy. You were walking confidently and hopefully gracefully, wanting to look as good as possible while having an urgent need to throw up from stress. He was your friend and you were going to either destroy this friendship or make it better. Billions of doubts crowded in your head, each worse than the previous, every single one making you want to stop and keep everything as it was. But you couldn’t; that toxic relationship was eating you alive, killing every aspect of your emotional health and keeping you awake at night. The tears you cried because of Bellamy could probably fill the entire ocean. It was time to end it.

‘I need to talk to you, Bellamy,’ you said when you reached him after your internal struggle. You were proud of how steady your voice was.

He lazily took his eyes off the blonde and looked at you.

‘About what?’

The girl on his lap was extremely displeased by your presence near him and was sure to eye you from head to toe with obvious disapproval.

‘About something important. In private, if you please.’ Your voice was sweet, but filled with venom and he sensed it.

‘He’s busy now.’ The girl pouted at you and pressed onto him harder making you roll your eyes.

Bellamy furrowed and shook his head.

‘Get off, whatever-your-name-was.’ He stood up when she let him go with disbelief painted on her face.

You lead him into your tent, your heart was still pounding so fast it was probably few steps before you. Your head was spinning from stress, you could not believe that this moment came. You waited for Bellamy to zip the tent and turn to you.

‘So what’s wro-‘

You didn’t let him finish. You slapped him so hard he bent slightly, you could see blood flowing from the cut your ring made on his cheek.

‘What the fuck?!’ He gasped, but once again you didn’t let him speak.

‘I am not your toy, Bellamy.’ Your voice was not steady anymore, it was shaking from overwhelming emotions. ‘I am also not your prosperity. I am not yours to take, do you understand me?’ He was silent, his jaw was clenched. ‘I have no fucking idea what you think this,’ you gestured the space between you ‘is, but I assure you, you have no right to tell anyone to stay away from me, or talk anything else about me for that matter.’ You didn’t know if you were shouting or whispering, if your words echoed in the tent or maybe just in your head. ‘You fuck me and leave me constantly. I’m done with it. I don’t care why you treat me like that, I just know that I didn’t do anything to be treated like trash. I didn’t deserve it.’ You forgot how to breathe, the only thing leaving your lips were words. ‘So if you love me, say you love me. But if you don’t, just let me go. I can’t take it anymore.’

He was silent and didn’t look at you, his eyes were locked on his shoes and clenched fists. Your breathing came back to normal, it was heavy with emotions.

‘I’m sorry,’ he spoke finally. ‘I never meant to hurt you, Y/N.’

You waited, but he didn’t say anything more.

‘Is that all you’ve got to say?’

Tears formed inside you, you fought with every bit of your inner strength to not let them flow.

‘I… The truth is,’ he sighed and looked at you finally ‘after our first time I felt so much... I wanted to hold you forever and that scared me to death. I never felt that way before. That’s why I slept with another, but… I could not stay away from you. So I came back and you took me without a question. Then I realised I was in love with you.’ Your heart jumped, but he continued. ‘It was such a bad time for love, Y/N. I thought it would make me weaker. I had to be a leader and you constantly were inside my head. I tried to drown that feeling out. It was a closed circle… Every time these feelings came back they were stronger. More clamant. It became a habit for me to mute them with others.’

‘And what about Gina?’ You asked bitterly. ‘You weren’t trying to get rid of those feelings.’

‘Gina was… She asked me if I wanted to date her.’ He shook his head. ‘I thought that maybe in a relationship it would be easier to forget you… That was the worst thing I could do. Both to her and you.’

You clenched your teeth and stepped closer.

‘It’s been at least three months since you didn’t have to “be a leader” as you called it. Why did you still push me away?’

He opened his lips, but closed them and shook his head.

‘I don’t know.’

‘Is loving me so horrible? Is it really the worst thing you can think of? So bad that it has to be gotten rid of?’ Tears floated down your cheeks, you were unable to hold them any longer.

His eyes softened, he quickly closed the distance between you and held your face in his hands, wiping the tears away.

‘No, of course not!’ He lowered his head to you. ‘I just… At first it was. But later it transformed into something I desired and that scared me. Baby, you are the most fantastic, patient and loving girl I’ve ever met. I am not good enough for you. I never will be. You are kind. Good. And I… I became the bad guy.’

Your tears couldn’t stop flowing and you could barely see.

‘What kind of bullshit is that…?’ You sobbed, trying to swallow the rock that sat on your throat and didn’t let you speak clearly.  

‘I have no right to treat you like you’re mine and I am very sorry for that.’ He stepped closer. ‘But if you think that it’s a good idea to start something… Real, then I will be the happiest man alive.’

You tried to control your breathing.

‘You hurt me so much, Bellamy…’ You shook your head. ‘I came back every time you asked me, because… because I love you.’ He sighed, but you continued. ‘But, Bellamy, you replaced me so many times. It will be really hard for me to trust you.’

‘I understand.’ He nodded slowly and wiped the rest of your tears away. ‘Does it mean you agree?’

‘You never asked me any question.’ You shrugged. If you could swallow shame, he could to.

He smiled at feisty look on your face.

‘Will you do me the honour and be my girlfriend?’

You pretended to consider that.

‘Yes.’

He closed the space between you and kissed you sweetly. Every regret, every doubt vanished in presence of that kiss. It was so different from your previous kisses; it was full of love and affection. Your hands ended under his shirt, you savoured in the feeling of his warm shin under your fingertips. You lifted the shirt and took it off, then did the same with yours. His kisses became deeper, his hands were discovering your body once again, every curve was sacred, and every imperfection suddenly became perfect.

You didn’t realize when you ended up on your bed, your clothes and underwear abandoned somewhere on the ground. Bellamy’s full lips were now celebrating every inch of your body, his tongue left wet trails of love leading to your breasts. He kissed the valley between them, then took one of your nipples to his mouth. The tip of his tongue caressed harshly sensitive bud making you moan. His hands travelled down your waist, held your curves when he continued to kiss his patch down your body. He bit the skin on your thighs, sucked on it to leave a hickey and you tugged his hair at the sensation.

‘Bellamy…’ You sighed, closing your eyes when he got closer to your womanhood.

‘I… am going to… cherish you… like the queen you are.’ He said in between kisses and his voice was deep, heady.

He licked a stripe along your folds before pushing one finger inside you. You curled your toes and held his hair tighter. His tongue was swirling circles on your clit when his finger was moving painfully slowly inside you. Your legs were shaking lightly and you fought with yourself to not pull Bellamy closer to you. It felt so good, so right. You were filled with a variety of emotions and for the first time since forever they were all positive.

And then he pulled away, releasing a groan of disappointment from you. He climbed up and kissed you again, one arm wrapped around you and turned you around, so that you were on top of him.

‘Ride my thigh, baby,’ He whispered in your ear, and it made you shiver.

You bit your lower lip and insecurely sat on his thigh. You’ve never done this before, but it would be a lie to say that you never daydreamed about it. He saw your hesitation and placed his hands on your hips, pushing them back and forth slightly. You did it yourself, this time more boldly and sparkles flew through your body. The friction was all you needed to come undone, you started to move faster, your folds spread. One of your hands was holding onto Bellamy, but you had different plans for the other one. You took Bellamy’s shaft in your hand, its glistening tip made your mouth water, but the amount of pleasure you had from riding his thigh didn’t let you bend to take it in your mouth; you started moving your hand up and down. A gasp left his lips, his eyes shut slowly, he bucked his hips for more. Your thumb swirled on the tip, you spread the precum along his length and started pumping it the way he liked it most. You never stopped moving your hips, his thigh was wet from your juices, silent moans escaped your lips and met his sighs. You were both so close.

‘Bellamy…’ You sighed and he opened his eyes. ‘Can I…’

You weren’t able to finish, he quickly grabbed your hips and guided you onto him. His long shaft entered you roughly, not giving you much time to adjust. You started moving your hips, lowered yourself so your clit was rubbing against him, his fingers dug into your skin, sharp breaths filled the tent. You found your pace, perfectly matched to his.

‘Fuck… Y/N…’

His eyes were blurred, his lips parted; you couldn’t help but to kiss him when he was filling you so ideally, as if you were two parts of a puzzle.

Suddenly it was all too much, you both were moving almost uncontrollably, chaotically, fast and rough, body grinded against body, skin against skin. He kissed you so shush your loud moan when you came, when shot of a warm liquid inside you made it all too much, released every nerve and muscle, and two bodies wrapped together became one.

You remembered how to breathe and how to move, and collapsed next to him. Almost immediately his arm was around you, pulling you onto his chest. Smell of sweat and love surrounded you both and it was more than you ever dared to dream.  

[dasagoo]

This was a long time coming.

I was manipulated for nearly 4 years.

I could really care less if this reaches them too, this is my blog I can rant all the fuck I want-- and even more so since they stole my actual property and probably destroyed it.. so... ya know fuck you or whatever. You put that on yourself alone. And if you think this is a callout- then youre full of yourself since I’m not once using your name. you used me. cry about it.

anyway;

It was toxic in 2013. It was toxic in 2016. and 2017. and 2018. It was  manipulative from the get go, and my dumbass didn’t notice it and bent my back so fucking far to appease them thinking it was a decent relationship. 

I remember vividly within the first few weeks of reconnecting they kissed me and said they’d date me soon. They fucking played me from the moment they sent that message in Feb 2016. I was easy prey I think- so desperate for anything I’d take a bite of any hook. They took my want for a romantic relationship and used it as bait to draw me in. They played me with that for almost 4 years. 

Then I started to have a small backbone when I met a girl online and went on a date with her. They were really upset over how I was looking for other people to be with romantically when they were in their own relationship they said was a strong relationship. 

Things where falling out with the girl I met anyway and that made me sad, so here I go waltzing into their hands with their promise and declaration of love. They wouldn’t date me for another year after this. After a long and drawn out “I’m going to break up with them to be with youuuu” deal of which I still don’t understand because they never told me squat.

We dated for just under 3 months. Haha, “dated”. It wasn’t dating, It was a sticker to put on the outside of the eggshell that was our relationship. I lived with them because I felt pressured by my parents having stress and not enough time for me when all I was was a sopping depressed asshole-- which is another story. But it felt like they turned me against my family- reminding me over and over that they never did anything for me, and like I usually did I agreed.

They also lied to me. Constantly. They bent soooooo many truths. So many that I honestly wouldn’t be able to pinpoint all that was actually true- like that “living alone” deal.

Which-- another thing; the constant “Why do you hate me? Why don’t you trust me?”

They hurled so many guilt-orientated things my way that I would almost always feel terrible. I wouldn’t message for 5 minutes and it went straight to this kinda stuff::

More guilt more and more guilt. I had to be actively always online and answering messages or else it was a threat to make me the reason they’d hurt themselves. I was stressed thinking if they were upset then it would be my fault if they where. I was guilted so much that I went directly into “I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m such an asshole.” self deprivation stuff because I was guitled and feeling shitty about it trying to stack the cards back up. 

They used their mental illnesses to blame for every situation. If they made a small mistake it was the mental illnesses, if they did this- if they did that- it was the mental illnesses in some way. I don’t think they’d ever just own up to making a mistake in place of just saying “sorry it’s my (???) I can’t help it and if you can’t perfectly accept it then you don’t love me.”

And GOD forbid I couldn’t do something correctly. That was an instant “You would do this if you actually liked me.” They manipulated me into thinking I was the bad guy all of the time. If something was wrong it was always my fault and I had to defend myself for 30 minutes straight when 99.9% of the time it had barely anything to do with me.

In the end I got sick of defending myself and how our relationship was going nowhere. I left for those reasons and then the entire thing dawned on me. The whole relationship was manipulative from the get-go and I was too desperate to think it wasn’t. It was a relationship hiding behind a *says something silly* facade. It was built on distracting myself thinking it was okay until the accusations towards me started.

I’m not calling myself a saint in the whole thing, but I’m really really happy I got out of that mess. It was so bad. Nothing there was real, it was pretend in order to get me to stay. All in the end it was them trying to make me stay. I said yes to everything they said like a star-eyed victim until I didn’t. 

That isn’t a relationship- that was another lie that wasted my time. Only not wasting my time in teaching me what not to do. 

Also I looked up the symptoms of a sociopath and BOY the resemblances are STRIKING. :O

Time to get on with my life. Posting this to have visual proof for when or if I start “missing” them and to finally get this out and over with. In all things- everything is finally over and I never have to see or talk or think about them ever again.

[carryonmylovelies]

Heyyyyyyy my dude anyways can you write a fic that is literally just fluff and Simon spooning Baz? Cuz that's literally all I want in my life tbh (also you're lovely and amazing)

Hiiiiii my lovely anon!! Thank you so so much for being my first fic request, and I really, really hope you like this because I wrote it for you :D Let me know what you think of it! (I hope you don’t mind that I spiced it up a bit lol) I would also like to dedicate this to @bazypitchandsimonsnow because Theo is my best friend and she’s always there for me and this could not have been made without her. I love youuuu here on ao3)

Eyes On Me, Please

Baz

It’s been a long day. Two of my uni professors were late, arriving in a tired mess of coffee, ungraded papers, and the general mood of not wanting to be there, and one of them just didn’t fucking show up. I had to write a five page essay twice (I don’t want to talk about it), the students in my mathematics class wouldn’t shut up about communism, and the cafeteria didn’t have my salt and vinegar crisps.

I am very much ready to be home, in the flat I share with my best friend and my lovely, crazy hot boyfriend, and in said hot boyfriend’s arms, furiously making out with him. (I swear to Merlin, I should not be allowed to be in a relationship. Thoughts of the next time I can get Simon under me and in between the sheets of the queen-sized bed we share threaten to overwhelm every bloody rational thought I have throughout my day. I’m not going to lie; it’s a bit hard to focus on my professor explaining William of Tyre and the diplomacy of the Byzantine empire when all I can hear is the exact sound Simon makes when I bite the inside of his upper thigh.)

I am too goddamn thirsty.

I finally arrive at my door, exhausted, hungry, and a little turned on. I weakly hit my fist against the door. No answer. I knock again, more forceful this time, but I still don’t get a response.

“Fuckers!” I yell, digging for my keys in my bag and shifting my books to the other arm. 

I jam my key in the lock, wiggle it, and push the door open, letting it slam against the wall with a dull thud. That will totally leave a mark, but it feels good to do a little damage.

I kick off my shoes and leave my bag by the door, the flat sounding unnaturally quiet. I walk into our light, airy kitchen and notice that Bunce has buried herself in a book that’s larger than her head again, and it looks so old I think she has a bit of dust on her nose. I flick the side of her pastel-purple head as I walk by, and she doesn’t even look up as she flips me off. I smirk, and make my way to the our living room, which is stuffed with chairs and pillows and a large couch, all surrounding the television.

I find my boyfriend lounging, one elbow propped up on the top of the couch, his long legs and tail dangling off of the end, and his wings falling lazily around his shoulders. His white earbuds peek out from behind his curls, and he’s looking at his phone like he’s about to throw it at the wall. His fingers furiously tap at the screen.

I stand in front of him and put my hands on my hips because this situation is very deserving of my signature hands-on-hips look.

He continues to play his game, and I can make out the sounds of violence and fighting spilling from his earbuds. How mature.

“Snow.”

He doesn’t hear me.

“Snow.”

Still nothing.

“Snow, I’m leaving you. I’m leaving you for that cute barista at Starbucks.”

He is so engrossed in his game he probably doesn’t know what day it is let alone who’s right bloody in front of him, trying to engage him in conversation.

“Snow, you hear that? I’m leaving you for a fucking barista. No one can make a pumpkin mocha breve like Dave from Starbucks can.”

“We’re gonna have six children and name them all after you.”

“I would bake him sour cherry scones every morning.”

“Snow, I’m going to go walk down to the Starbucks right now and have sex with Dave the barista all over our favorite table in the corner.”

Bunce yells at me from the kitchen, “Basil, as much as I want this one-sided conversation to continue because it is fucking hilarious to listen to, he cannot hear you, so you better think of something else.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up,” I respond, and she peeks around the corner and gives me a very reassuring thumbs up.

He has not acknowledged my existence in the 3 minutes that I have been home, and 2 of those minutes I spent physically speaking to him, so this calls for something a little bit stronger. I leave my stupidly attractive boyfriend (emphasis on the stupid) with his unruly curls and blue eyes glued to his phone, alone on the couch as I walk determinedly into our room.

I slip off my shirt and trousers and pull on the pair of jeans that I know are Simon’s favorite (plus they make my arse look illegal) and one of his worn jumpers. It’s a bit big for me; he has broader shoulders and more of a stomach, but the length of it is about the same. He knows that I know how much he loves it when I wear his clothes, so getting him to notice me should be easy now. And yes, I am going to all this trouble to get my very own boyfriend to notice me, and it’s because I am extremely petty and over-dramatic and because I really fucking love it when he looks at me like he’s starving and I’m the last sour cherry scone in the world. Sue me.

I saunter out, ready for the final part of my plan, and I suddenly can’t help but enjoy the sight for just a moment. The sun is slowly fading from the living room, but that doesn’t stop it from catching on the ends of Simon’s bronze curls, dousing them in a burnt orange, and the moles and freckles on his face and neck are just begging for lips to press against them. His blue eyes glow with the light from his phone and I just can’t take it anymore.

I cross the room in two strides and throw myself into his lap, promptly ending whatever game he was playing.

I expect Simon to be mad, or at least annoyed, but to my delight Simon just laughs, throwing his phone and earbuds onto the carpet and kissing my cheek. He slides back into the corner of the couch and takes me with him, pulling me to sit in between his legs. His arms snake around my waist, his fingers gripping my sides possessively and his chest is a solid warmth against my back. I sigh, and let my head fall onto his shoulder. He kisses the top of my nose.

“Hello,” he says, and I drown in his smile.

“Hi,” I say back, and then I pinch his arm. Hard.

“Owww! That hurt,” Simon whines, glaring at me.

I pout, “Well, you shouldn’t have ignored me when I got home! I’ve had a very long day.”

“I was busy,” he says sulkily, pushing his nose into my hair.

“Oh yes, you were very busy … playing on your phone.”

“… I was about to reach my high score.”

“And I was tired and stressed from school! All I wanted was some bloody love and affection from my adoring boyfriend but I guess that’s too much to ask from a prat like you.”

He growls and tightens his hold on me. I inhale sharply at the sound, and shift in his lap, cursing Simon for having growls like that.

He pushes his face into my hair and his hot breath makes the back of my neck tingle. Then he raises his head sharply, and squeezes my waist.

“Hey, is this my shirt?”

“Yes.”

He groans and falls back into my hair, “I love it when you wear my stuff.”

“I know,” I say, smugly.

He bites my neck (who’s the real vampire in this relationship?) and then presses a kiss to the same spot.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention to you when you got home. And I’m sorry you had a hard day,” he mumbles. “Wanna talk about it?”

I open my mouth to tell him about the stressors of my day but surprisingly I’m not really bothered by them anymore. Hatching a plan to get your boyfriend to notice you is a great way to de-stress, with the added bonus of your plan working and now you just get to relax while he spoons you.

His arms are tight and hot across my middle, and his chest is practically forcing heat into me. Everywhere he’s touching me I’m burning up. And I love it. He smells like scones and my expensive shampoo even though I tell him not to use it and to use his own fucking shampoo. His legs are flush against the outside of mine, and I unconsciously snuggle closer to him, turning my head so I can press my lips to one of the moles on his shoulder.

“No, I’m okay, now.”  

Penny

I watch them from the doorway of the kitchen, and I’m glad to see that they worked things out. They’re talking now, in low voices, sharing smiles and small laughs. Simon has draped himself all over Baz, and Baz looks like there is nowhere else in this world he would rather be. Although, they aren’t really in this world anymore; they’re both in a world all on their own.  

They make each other so happy. Anyone can see it. It’s in the way Simon’s tail winds itself around Baz’s legs whenever he’s close by. It’s in the way Baz’s eyes light up whenever Simon walks into a room. It’s in the way they slowly built each other back up after the worst time of our lives, and it’s in the way they continue to hold each other when one of them feels like falling and not getting back up. I truly, only wish the best for them.

With their soft voices floating in from the living room and the hum of the refrigerator in the back of my mind, it’s easy to slip back into my book.

The next time I look up I’m not sure how long I’ve been reading for, but I can tell that something is  … off. I set my book down on the counter and pop my head around the corner.

God dammit they’re at it again!

I swear the number of times I have caught them on that fucking couch doing what they are now two seconds away from doing is a number higher than any of us want to admit.

I clap my hands a few times, disrupting the quiet, and they slowly break apart. Simon looks a little sheepish, but Basil looks like he has no regrets, whatsoever.

“Basilton Pitch! Simon Snow! Now, I know this may blow your small, idiotic minds, but I need you to stay with me through this okay?” I ask, cheerily, with a bright smile plastered across my face.   

They both stare at me.

“You two, have this thing, called a ‘bedroom’. Spell it with me, b-e-d-r-o-o-m. Do you know what bedrooms are for? They are for where all of THAT,” I gesture frantically at their tangled bodies, “belongs. Not. On. The. Fucking. Couch. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Penny,” Simon sulks, and he starts to get up but Baz yanks him back down.

“No,” Baz says, looking at me with a challenge in his eyes, “She’s not going to do anything.”

“Oh, shit. I wouldn’t test me if I were you, Basil. I really wouldn’t.”

Baz shoots me a long, cool look before grabbing Simon, pinning him to the couch, and kissing Simon like it’s the last fucking thing he’ll ever do.

I scream, and storm into the bathroom. I snatch up the squirt bottle I use for my hair in the mornings, and stomp back out to the eager 20-year-olds who are practically fornicating on. My. Couch.

I walk right up to them and unleash hell. I squirt water on them furiously, screaming at them to use their own fucking bedroom. They both shriek and roar with laughter, so I spray them harder. They stumble/fall into their room, and I personally slam the door closed.

I yell at them, “Fuck you both!”

They don’t answer.

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!! 

[zukalations]

Talk DX - The Scarlet Pimpernel: Kurenai Yuzuru & Rei Makoto (June 2017)

Long time no post...sorry about that! Hopefully I can keep the queue sustained this time~

This is an interview with Beni and Coto during the run of The Scarlet Pimpernel, published in the June 2017 issue of GRAPH. It’s pretty in-depth and very fun!

@chemicalperfume helped with editing and translating! Many thanks as always <3

Talk DX - The Scarlet Pimpernel: Kurenai Yuzuru & Rei Makoto

Kurenai: We’re nearly to the middle of the run. I’ve always wanted to do this show, so I’m so happy during every performance. Therefore, thinking ‘I’ve still got half the run to go!’ makes me really happy!

Rei: Me too. Each week goes by too fast.

Kurenai: Darn right!

Rei: I feel like it’s a better experience for us each time.

Kurenai: Yeah! The power of the audience is really immense. They say ‘one performance does more than 100 rehearsals’, so I really feel like the audience helps us continually improve our performance. It completely changes the atmosphere.

Rei: If I go back and listen to recordings from the vocal rehearsals, it’s totally different!

Kurenai: Yeah! However, a restage performance is really difficult, isn’t it.

Rei: It is.

Kurenai: It’s already been expanded on so much through the premiere performance and the first restage, so figuring out how to perform on top of that foundation is really hard.

Rei: For troupe members like me, who weren’t in the first production, there was a feeling that the audience probably knew the show better than we did, so that was really stressful… But there was also the reverse, where since this was my first time at it I performed as if to demonstrate ‘This is what The Scarlet Pimpernel is!’

Kurenai: Yeah!

Rei: The songs are all really well known—though they’re quite difficult songs (laughs). Every time I perform each song, I feel like I’m working together with the whole orchestra in that moment and it’s always a slightly different result. It’s really fun.

Kurenai: My favorite number is ‘Days of Glory.’

Rei: Oh~!

Kurenai: The power of the people is really important to the whole show, but in that song everyone finally comes together!

Rei: Yeah—but there’s still a lot of individuality.

Kurenai: Exactly!

Rei: It’s so good~! I really like ‘Into the Fire.’ It makes me so excited! My classmate Seo (Yuria) is in it so I asked her ‘Hey~ Hey~ What’s it like to be in that scene?’ Apparently due to the quick-changes and the moving platforms it’s really hard for the actual performers (laughs). But I’m always excited to watch it from the wings! It’s also really popular to watch from the side entrances; it’s always a struggle to get that spot.

Kurenai: Really? (laughs) When I’m doing that scene, somehow I feel like I’m really living. There aren’t a lot of moments like that on stage, are there? (laughs)

Rei: Definitely! (laughs)

Kurenai: I feel like I’m living as Kurenai Yuzuru and as Sir Percy, and that all the other members of the League are living as their roles too. It’s full of courage—it’s a wonderful scene!

Rei: Yeah, yeah.

Kurenai: Since the League of the Scarlet Pimpernel are all good friends, I didn’t want them all to treat me as an older brother type character, just because I was the most senior, so I told them that every time. As a result, I think we all felt like equals, or I hope we did.

Rei: In the rehearsal, there was a definitive moment where your group’s acting radically changed, so I was watching like ‘Wo~w!’ But you know, my team gets along really well too!

Kurenai: (laughs)

Rei: Starting in the Prologue, Deputy Robespierre (Nanami), Mercier (Seki), Coupeau (Sazanami), and I do the offstage chorus together. We perform in the spirit of the French alliance in every show.

Kurenai: I see (laughs)

Kurenai: How about that adlib scene about the clothes Chauvelin (Rei) should wear to the masquerade!

Rei: Oh gosh.

Kurenai: You don’t laugh a bit!

Rei: That’s not it, the truth is I’m really weak to adlibs…

Kurenai: Huh? Really?

Rei: Do you know how much I’m panicking right before then!?

Kurenai: I thought it was excitement (laughs)

Rei: No no no. But listen! You never tell me anything!

Kurenai: But then there wouldn’t be any point!

Rei: So I’m always so nervous… But I haven’t yet broken my vow not to laugh, have I!*

Kurenai: But it’s not like I’m trying to make you laugh there…

Rei: No~, you almost get me every time! And then when the audience starts laughing I really want to join in.

Kurenai: Ah, that’s so hard~ I had that same issue when I was Benedict (in Ocean’s 11).

Rei: Ah~!

Kurenai: There too, even though I didn’t want to laugh at all, Toyoko-san (Suzumi Shio) as Rusty really went all-out with adlibs. She’d use a wig that went bald at the pull of a string, stuff like that.

Rei: It’s a struggle every day!

Kurenai: It was~ I don’t do that sort of thing, generally.

Rei: But, you know, I’m training every day.

Kurenai: Sometimes you can even play off it a bit, right~ (laughs)

Rei: Maybe once in 15 times I’ll give it a shot (laughs) Mainly I just rack my brain frantically but it always ends up like ‘No, no comebacks here!’ (laughs)

Kurenai: The other day, during the final scene on the Day-Dream, a button on my glove got totally tangled up in Aa-chan’s (Kisaki’s) hair.

Rei: That must have been such a hard time! But you were amazing then. I was doing my quick-change, so it was a situation where all I had to go on was the audio, but you did some sort of adlib like, ‘Ah! I love you too much to let you go!’

Kurenai: Yeah (laughs)

Rei: They say to try and make something positive even of accidents.

Kurenai: It’s more fun that way!

Rei: If it was me I’d surely just keep quiet and act as if it hadn’t happened. It’s really amazing that you could announce it to everyone like that and work it into your acting.

Kurenai: Oh, you think so?

Rei: And for me, thanks to that issue, my quick-change was…

Kurenai: Nice and relaxing?

Rei: Yes (laughs). So from my point of view, that was a happy accident (laughs).

Rei: I always watch the ‘She Was There’ scene from the wings. In that scene Sir Percy (Kurenai) is released from all his turmoil, there’s the mirror behind, and all the lights are on Sayumi-san (Kurenai)... You are just so dazzling there!

Kurenai: Ahahaha (laughs) Really?

Rei: It’s amazing! Because, like, you throw aside the teasing attitude you used with Chauvelin, and how closed-off you were to Marguerite (Kisaki), and it’s as if ‘Sayumi-san’s Percy’ truly exists there. It gives me goosebumps every time.

Kurenai: That scene really has a different atmosphere. See, even if I remember when I did it in the shinjin kouen the exact same scenery is before my eyes.

Rei: Awesome!

Kurenai: But the way it feels to me is different. It’s like I can feel how everyone on the staff is all working together to help bring my Sir Percy to life. I can feel the audience too, and the whole Grand Theatre. And besides, I have to think about how to lead into the next scene.

Rei: Ah~

Kurenai: In the shinjin kouen, when that scene ended I was like ‘it’s over!’ but now I realize I’m seeing it as one piece in the puzzle of Percy’s life. I feel like that’s what the passage of 9 years does.

Rei: That’s true. I really love that scene!

Kurenai: Somehow, this time around, Chauvelin is somehow really helping you break out of your shell, I think.

Rei: Yes.

Kurenai: People mostly see you as this ‘star student,’ right, Makocchan? But you really have a very human side to you, so it’d be good if the audience could see that.

Rei: Yeah…

Kurenai: Well, you’ve already been a great help to me, though. I’m really an unpredictable, spontaneous type of person,, so I’m grateful for your restraint. I think it’s precisely because we’re so different that things have come together so well. But I think if your attitude, rather than ‘it has to be this way!’ was more like ‘maybe I’m going to try that other way…’ then maybe in the future an even more amazing Makocchan will be born.

Rei: Yes… Yeah…

Kurenai: It won’t be as bad as you think.

Rei: For sure. Right now the biggest challenge is just that~ Wah~ You’re so understandi~ng! Sayumi-sa~n!

Kurenai: Chauvelin is a character who messes up a lot (laughs), but it’d be good if you could convey new sides of yourself through the audience seeing your struggles!

Rei: Thank youuuu~

Kurenai: The finale starts out with Makocchan. You look like you’re having fun (laughs)

Rei: I just feel like ‘I can smile too now~’ (laughs) It’s the first time I am given the duty of bringing everyone’s mood up, leading into the rockette.

Kurenai: That really struck me in rehearsals. ‘Makocchan has inherited the position I had up till now.’ So I really understand your feelings in that situation. It makes you really nervous in the beginning! Especially on opening night.

Rei: Gosh, I was so nervous!

Kurenai: And then imagine that being the New Years’ show, where they’re livestreaming it as well.

Rei: Ahhh…

Kurenai: (laughs) So you see I really understand those feelings, and it made me really happy. ‘I’m really passing the baton!’ I thought.

Rei: I...I’ll do my best!

Kurenai: In the ensemble dance I have with the group of musumeyaku, I’m supposed to be searching for Marguerite. It’s got a feeling of longing. Then in the next scene it’s otokoyaku! And it segues into the group sabre dance. Speaking of that, yesterday the sabre was really heavy.

Rei: Eh?

Kurenai: It definitely wasn’t mine!

Rei: They do vary a bit like that. The way the wood feels.

Kurenai: That little weight difference actually made it really hard, because I’m still holding it scene after scene. But to the fans, it’s not Scarpim** without the sabre dance on the Grand Stairs! That kind of feeling makes me happy somehow.

Rei: Yes! And then Sayumi-san leaves the stage first and that shout as you leave is…

Kurenai: By the way, everyone, that was thanks to Director Koike’s instructions!

Rei: Ahaha (laughs)

Kurenai: Although I might seem as if I’ll just say whatever if you give me a microphone, that was something I was specifically instructed to say. ‘Everyone Dances!***’ ‘Let’s dance! Dance, everybody!’ is what it means.

Rei: You always raise the energy level so much by saying that!

Kurenai: I always make eye contact with you, right Makocchan?

Rei: Yes!

Kurenai: In the duet dance afterwards, the costumes are actually super heavy, so it was really hard but… Aa-chan is so adorable.

Rei: Wah~ Squee <3

Kurenai: Even if she messes up a little bit I just think ‘well we all have our days’ (laughs). I’ll say something if I have to (laughs) but basically she puts trust in me too. So it’s really fun.

Rei: When watching I can tell that  you both put your heart into it, so it makes me happy to see. After all it’s your Grand Theatre debut show!

Kurenai: It is! And me, Aa-chan, and Makocchan were all in Star Troupe the whole time.

Rei: That’s right.

Kurenai: Therefore I want to make sure to respect our seniors and the longtime fans. But it’s not like I’m going to take on too much there, I want to enjoy things and show ‘this is how our Star Troupe will feel!’ I want to keep on in the Star Troupe style, in a way everyone can enjoy!

Rei: I’ll follow right behind you!

* I’m not sure if Rei is discounting her breaks in the last couple performances of the Takarazuka run (at least) or if this interview took place before then.

** ‘Scarpim’ (or ‘Sukapin’ in the Japanese spelling) is the fandom nickname for the show.

*** English in original.

[seabunnii]

gonna ask about someone(s) new for a change :'D 2, 6, 13, 21 for Leila; 1, 5, 17, 18, 29 for Alma (and because i can't resist: 11, 15, 27 for Idal'ia!)

Lelia

2. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

I think for Lelia it would be that there is a “dark” spirit in the necklace she’s always wearing. Most people just assume she’s into the occult, which, she technically is but moreso bc “oh yeah this is the possessed item i found when i was a kid but when the spirit learned a kid was wearing the necklace he got real protective and looks out for me it’s chill”. Also i guess, tied into that, that the spirit (listen he had a name but i think i needed to change it and skdllsal effort) can possess her but he only does so with permission. It’s consensual possession.

6. Have they ever committed a crime, or something they felt was wrong? What was it?

She...breaks and enters a lot. :,D not for nefarious purposes but for like ghost hunting purposes. Since she can see ghosts/has a spirit that will help her banish bad spirits she takes it as her responsibility to do so. By whatever means necessary. The spirit is usually the one trying to convince her to be less reckless.

13. What does it take to make your character cry?

NOT A LOT she’s really empathetic and gets emotional easily. Watching a sad video/movie, crying, being told a sad story, crying, being told about your problems she’ll cry FOR you!! She’s a sweetie.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with?

Definitely the spirit in her necklace. She’s literally grown up with him and they have a super tight bond. No one knows her better, and they really do take a lot of comfort in each other :,3 They’re basically super close friends, but also, ghost hunting buddies. Since they’re together 24/7 he’s also the one she basically confides all her secrets in because, he’ll know. He’s also very protective of her in return and would definitely NOT want her to sacrifice herself for him though.

Alma

1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?

OK need to do a little backstory into the setting I made her for and also ... apologies for how disjointed it is THERE IS A LOT OF WORLDBUILDING I STILL NEED TO DO :,D Basically, it’s a kind of apocalyptic/dystopian-esque world ... a lot of it is desert, and then city centers that are connected by highspeed trains (it’s not earth/our world). The cities themselves are futuristic (by our standards) but also ... not that great for anyone who isn’t rich, and the cities are set up in some form of, outer circles, inner circles, and the center there are towers that reach up unimaginably high (like the tops cannot be seen bc clouds and stuff). The richest/most well off people live towards the center, in places “higher” up, and it gets worse for people the further you go away. The towers are reserved for those who have “control” but they’re not really “governments” but usually, corporations. Some have multiple cities, others have one, but they all work together.

ANYWAY. BACK TO THE QUESTION. So essentially by the time Alma was born things were already not great and hurdling towards what was described above, but these ruling corporations weren’t completely in place. They’re shady as fuck obviously so have their own military forces which basically threw a coup, and then offered the richest people/families a chance to “join them at the top”. The coup was very bloody and very violent though and a hostile takeover, and Alma was 4-5 around the time it happened, and there was a lot of needless bloodshed because it was basically a show of power. It was also an excuse to decimate cities so they could “rebuild” for their purposes, so a lot of buildings were getting destroyed regardless of whether people were in them or not. So during this time would be when she was most afraid, because she was a small child trying her best to avoid getting caught up in it/also was already an orphan so did not really have anyone looking out for her during this time. :,) WOW SORRY THIS LONG IT JUST

HAS A LOT OF BACKSTORY FOR HER SCARIEST MOMENT LMAO;;;

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves?

...yeah, probably. :,D she’s the type who would never sell out a friend, or someone she’s known long enough to trust, but someone she’s just met? She probably doesn’t trust them anyone. She’d weigh her options and well, if they have info/a resource needed she’d be less likely to but if not...she’d do whatever it takes to protect herself/those she cares about, or get them what they need.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not?

YEAH she’s come close enough times to be scared of it. Not enough that it stops her from doing reckless things or getting into near death situations, but she doesn’t want to die. She feels she has a lot left to do, both just wants and her feelings of she has to atone for things she’s done. :,))

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? what would they say they are?

Her society: bad guy. She has been in a gang (and not a ... let’s help people gang, a we don’t care who’s in power we’re going to get what benefits US and US ALONE and it doesn’t matter who gets hurt), she is now basically a bounty hunter, but also, doing a lot to undermine the power the corporations have/working against them (albeit, a bit reluctantly. She’s more dragged into it by the people around her who really want to change the world. She’s more interested in righting some of her own wrongs/taking care of those she cares about, less big picture though...the more time she spends with her group of people, the more her moral compass is being moved into pushing her to be a “hero” :,D )

Our society (or at least, HOW I HOPE TO WRITE HER ONE DAY LMAO): Antihero. She’s not a perfect hero. She’s a bit reluctant to take up the mantle and to do things that don’t directly benefit her/those she cares about/align with her idea of “redemption”. But she gets closer to being a hero as time goes on. But she’s a messy, complicated, not entirely good person who tries their best.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most?

A sword that is two swords that combine together for one sword, or, also have a sniper rifle configuration. Listen she was created when i was big into rwby but also I LIKE COOL WEAPONS SUE ME LOL. She’s proficient with swords and sniper rifles, but still not too bad with other types of guns. Another weapon of choice is HER BARE GODDAMN FISTS. However, she doesn’t like fighting with daggers, their reach isn’t long enough and damage isn’t worth it when she could just use her FISTS. I also don’t think she’d like something “chained”, like flails/whips etc, she likes having control and precision with her weapons.

WOW LMAO turns out i have a lot of Alma FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS i love my girl. (Also probably fueled by, i realize she is getting inspired by the Yakuza games more and more and ... emotions :,D )

Idal’ia

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms?

She’s the type to work things out by practicing shooting or like, training in general? It takes her minds of things/strengthens her so two birds one stone. Also making jokes at inappropriate times to cover true feelings.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing people she cares about :,)) She is not in a job that treats people/the people around you well and UHH HER GF HAS A PRETTY DANGEROUS JOB. So she worries a lot about losing (more) people she cares about. In general she has fears about not being where she needs to be to protect people, or that, they’ll go somewhere dangerous where she can’t follow.....

When she’s scared she gets angry in that sort of desperation way. Where she just wants to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING to remove what’s making her scared. Less likely to think before acting (...worse than she already is, lol) but gets much less rational. :,)

27. What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion?

Anything to do involving Hutts LMAO

But okay...this might be too vague but like, being over powered/out smarted. She wants to be the strongest, she doesn’t want her death to be at someone else’s hands or on anyone’s terms but her own.

[kgookie-blog]

siblings | jikook

Chapter 19 | promise (FINAL)

Hours later, Jimin and Jungkook left the room. By now, almost everyone left, leaving Hoseok, Yoongi, and Namjoon to help clean up. An angry Yoongi could be heard in the halls, bickering with the 2 boys.

"Every year we have to deal with this. Why do we have to clean up other people's messes? AND IT WAS OUR SHOW!". Yoongi yelled at Hoseok and Namjoon, sighing and shaking his head every so often. Jungkook made his way to Yoongi and slapped him on the back of his head.

"Stop complaining you grouchy grandpa". Yoongi looked taken aback. "RUDE! I'll have you know, Im very active-". Hoseok cut off Yoongi and looked at Jimin suspiciously. "Why were you in the same room as Jungkook? I didn't see you for the rest of the night".

Namjoon who obviously knew what happened put his hands on Hoseok's back and explained. "Im sorry to ruin your ears and possibly your innocence but....they were fucking, plain and simple".

Hoseok had the most disturbed look on his face. "TMI". Namjoon scoffed and rolled his eyes. "TMI? TMI?! I feel like I just had war flashbacks. You can say TMI but you and Mr. Hong Kong over here shake the room up all night. The walls are so thin, I can practically feel everything. At the end of the night, It feels like I was the one who got fucked".

Jungkook, Jimin, and Yoongi were practically wheezing on the ground laughing. The sheer look of terror was all over Hoseok's face. "Cmon Yoongi! Back me up here!".

"Hey! It was my ass that was in jeopardy".

////////

Both Jimin and Jungkook end up leaving later that night after Namjoon got his life ripped to shreds by Hoseok. "Sometimes, I wonder what goes on when we aren't there". Jungkook agrees with a nod, catching up to Jimin on the sidewalk. "I didn't know you knew them too. You never speak to anybody else but Chae Mi".

"Yeah, they went to music school with me when I was like 14," Jimin answered. After a while of walking, Jungkook sighed and asked Jimin a question. "Sooo.....what now?". A puzzled look appeared on Jimin's face, scrunching his nose in thought. "Well, what do you mean?".

"Wellll, 1. Its cold out and my arms are turning into icicles and 2. You know...". Jimin finally understood and smiled. "Ohhhh, I get it now, sorry for that".

"Hm, how far is your hotel from here?" asked Jimin. Jungkook pulled out his phone and looked at where he saved the location. "Its like 8 miles walking mate". "Why didn't you get a taxi or something?". Jungkook pondered and thought. "Well, I didn't want to go back and see my ex on the bed again and I wanted to walk with you. Is that such a crime?".

Jimin laughed and thought about the situation with Jungkook's ex. "Do you still like her?". Jungkook choked on air and shook his head repeatedly. "Why would you ever think that when I love you? Hmm?". Jimin huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "I just get jealous when you speak about her".

"Awwwe, my baby Jiminie getting jealous. I will never love anybody as much as I love you and I will never love her, understood?". Jimin shook his head in agreement, "What about your parents?".

"I love you 5% more than my parents". Jimin huffed and pouted, "Only 5%?".

"Maybe 6%"

////////

Jimin ended up bringing Jungkook to his hotel since it was closer, both of them laying in the bed with robes on. The dim lights from outside shone through the window. "It feels good to be your boyfriend you know?".

"Jungkook chuckled at this, turning over to look at Jimin's face. Jimin doing the same kissed the tip of his nose and hid halfway under the covers. "You are too cute Jimin. My heart is going to explode in the middle of our relationship if you don't stop".

Jimin peeped up for one second. A muffled "Sorry, no can do", escaped his hips. "Oh really huh?"

Jungkook leaned over and placed his hands on Jimin's sides, squeezing them softly. Jimin giggled and moved around, trying to get out of his hold. "Stop it! It tickles Jungkook!".

"But why do you think I should stop? Do you think you deserve it?" He asked. Jimin continued to squirm, giggling with every squeeze to his sides. "Yes, I do deserve it! Cmon! Im dying!".

Jungkook finally let's go to let Jimin breathe, Jimin taking in air while scrunching up his face. "Why are you so mean...meanie pants". Jungkook laughed at this remark and squished Jimin's cheeks together. "If that's mean to you, you don't want to see me mad, bunny".

////////

Jimin woke up to the bed empty. The blankets a shriveled mess, tangled in Jimin's legs. "Kookie? Where are youuuu" Jimin sang aloud. He scanned the room looking for Jungkook. His eyes still trying to adjust the brightness of the room. He finally landed on a shirtless Jungkook walking out of the bathroom.

"Sorry Jimin, I went to go take a shower". Jimin pouted and threw his arms in the air. "Without me? How dare you". Jungkook chuckled and shook his head. "Well, Im sorry. Im, not the one who wouldn't wake up after being shoved legit 40 times".

Jimin smiled and nodded, showing that he understood. He watched Jungkook find his clothes for the day. Both of them had to head back to Busan....well, at least Jimin will.

"Hey Jimin, while you are here, I might as well tell you this now". Jimin shifted onto the bed, waiting for Jungkook to continue. "I won't be coming back with you to Busan, ok?"

"That's fine. You can take as long as you need here. I mean, I hope you come back and live with me eventually right?". Jungkook was silent. Too silent for Jimin as he grew skeptical. "Why do you need to stay here longer?"

Jungkook sat on the edge of the bed with a worried look on his face. "Jimin, I need to go on a business trip with my dad".

"Ok...Why do you need to tell me this, Im fine with that? You do what you need to do".

"Well...I'll be gone for a long time Jimin. Kara is also coming with me". Jimin's face immediately grew hot. He didn't understand why Kara needed to come. It was his trip, why was she invited? "My dad thought that bringing Kara would be good for me. I don't know why, seeing that she and I broke up a long time ago, but he won't take no for an answer".

"Can I trust you Jungkook?". Jungkook was taken aback by this. He would never have thought those words would come out of Jimin's mouth. He took hold of Jimin's hands and held them gently. "Yes, Jimin. Never think that you cant trust me. Ever. You know how hard Ive tried to get you. Why would I screw that up?"

Jimin slid his arms around Jungkook's torso, hugging him close. "I don't want you to leave me already". "Don't worry Jimin. I keep in contact with you the whole time. You don't need to freak out".

"You promise?". Jimin stuck his pinky out for Jungkook to hold with his. Jungkook wrapped his pinky around Jimin's tiny one and held it tight, ushering a smile his way.

"I promise"

///

A/N - there is a second book dont worry c:

[drv3imagines]

I did a quick search on our blog, and I do not believe we did any yandere headcanons, but now we have. And here ya go~

Rantaro Amami * Our boi is the overprotective yandere type, probably because he often acted this way with his sisters. So naturally he would shield you from any kind of “danger”. * It made you a little uncomfortable that he would always redirect you if he didn’t like someone you hung out with. Or if a friend was hugging you for too long. God bless the soul who dared to flirt with you. * But he was just being protective…even if it was a bit much… * He never was violent with you, and he hasn’t actually hurt anyone…so everything was fine. For now…until you decided to hang out in the library one day without his knowledge. * It just so happened the Rantaro was already there when he saw you and another student talking over shared a textbook. * This jerk had the nerve to get a little too close for Rantaro’s comfort, but it wasn’t anything like that, you and another classmate were simply studying. * Right. Studying was the first thing, then the punk would attempt to get you alone, right? Do what they had to and leave you in some alleyway? Not on Rantaro’s watch! * “Amami, what are you doing?” * Before you knew it, Rantaro had you by the arm and was dragging you away from that section of library. * His expression is unreadable as he tells you to stay put, and leaving without another word. * This attitude of his had to stop, or else– * He returns a moment later a little disheveled but otherwise fine. * Pulling you into a hug he strokes your hair and mutters to you. * “I only do what I do to protect you. I won’t ever let them hurt you, you know that.”

Korekiyo Shinguuji * This boi is obsessed with human behavior, but no other being on the planet could capture his attention quite like you. * It sucked that all of the other beings of this world got to be graced with your magnificent presence but not him. That’s why he declared you two to be a couple some time ago. * Having a wonderful piece of artwork like yourself by his side made him feel utmost ecstasy. Sometimes he just wishes he could stuff you and put you on display in his house or something so your beauty could be ageless :3c. Unfortunately he doesn’t have the resources at the time so he’ll have to save that for later. * When you two aren’t together, he will stalk you, but this only provided temporary satisfaction, as there was a limit to how much time you could actually spend together. * So he decided he would eliminate all factors that would separate you. * It would be best if you lived with him and never left since you both tend to have very busy schedules. His international travels had come to a near stop because they were taking away his time studying the world’s greatest beauty. And any outside activity you had would be secretly “monitored” from afar. * If anyone dared to come too close to his gracious human, they would be punished. * No, he would not kill them, but lay waste to them in his basement as decorative tokens for his lover. * While you were completely oblivious to this, he would provide you subtle hints hoping you’d make the discovery so he could see even the horrified beautiful you. * “My love, I have brought yet another ugly fraction of this world into our home. I must be blessed with your elegance once again to recover from this horrible feat.”

Kaito Momota * Kaito is the romance expert. He knows all about properly handling the lover of his dreams. * He’s got hand holding, opening doors, kissing, and sweeeeeet date ideas from here to the sun. * Grade A boyfriend. * He’s such a great boyfriend that he even knows how to properly dispose of any loser trying to get their grubby hands on you. * One way he marks his territory, or you for short, is his jacket. * It’ll be the middle of the hottest summer your city has ever faced, but he insists you keep it on in case anyone gets any funny ideas. * And if they did… * For extra security he always has an arm around you, holding you extra close when a potential rival came about. * No one would take you from him and he would remind you of that every time you were together. * “I gotta let the world know that you’re mine, don’t I?”

Kokichi Ouma * Everywhere you went, there was no doubt that your boyfriend would be latched onto you. * You two were known as the sickeningly sweet couple that was always together. You two were inseparable. * But not by your choice. * Ouma loved being with you ever since you two had been together. There was no way he’d let you be by yourself since it was his job to make sure you weren’t lonely. * At least that’s what he told you, but it was kind of clingy how he wanted to go with you wherever you went, even when you were hanging out with friends. * You would beg him to let you go out just once with just your friends but he’d either throw a huge tantrum or give you a silent treatment for nearly a month if you did. * So that settled any future outings, he had to go with you no matter what. No ifs, ands, or buts. * There was only one time you could remember that you had went out with a friend and forgot to ask him to tag along. But you figured it wasn’t that big of a deal. * It hadn’t even been a day after your hangout that the friend had sent you a text to never contact them ever again and it was pretty serious. Not only had they not called you, but you’d never seen or heard anything about them from that day on. * You relayed your hurt feelings to Ouma, oblivious to the devious look he held on his face. * “Awww, why would you waste your time with them? Aren’t I enough for youuuu?~ Nishishishsi.” ;)

Shuuichi Saihara * You’d never guess that detective boi was the type. * Especially since he isn’t one to let himself get caught. * Yes, Shuuichi Saihara is the stalker type of yandere, but if you’d ask him it’s not really “stalking.” * Just making sure you were happy when he wasn’t around. Checking on you, seeing if your day went on normally. Providing you chances to receive cute little bonuses throughout your day as evidence that he was always with you, even if you never noticed. * But sometimes there were other suitors who wanted to get a little too close for Shuuichi’s liking. * He could kill them and get rid of the evidence simply because it was easy and he could literally get away with murder, but what fun would that be? * He needed to make that jerk feel small, the same way they made him feel when his s/o would dare waste their time with someone else when all they needed was him! * “He won’t be laughing anymore when I– Oh, h-hello s/o! How did I get down here? I dropped my contact lens. What? Of course I wear contacts ^^;;”

Kiibo * Kiiboi is such an adorkable sweetheart. No way this precious baby could hurt a fly (not to mention robot laws?) * But he never had to. * If he’s ever learned one thing from Ouma, it was that the power of manipulation could get you anything you wanted. * He wouldn’t have to be scared you’d ever leave him because he could use cutesy words that would bring the two of you closer. Nothing wrong with that right? * You loved him as long as he made you feel that way. Humans were so naive adorable~ * He was helpless in your eyes and needed your guidance every step of the way uwu. * “I’m glad you are able to look past our differences and help me when I most need it s/o.” ;3c

Gonta Gokuhara * Gonta loves his s/o dearly. * He likes how nice you are to him. How nice you are to his bugs. And how you make him feel better after he does something stupid. Like when he told you you could never leave Gonta ever again. * He is really sorry, but the world is too dangerous for you and a good gentleman protects the ones he loves. * He drowns you with all sorts of affection, but it saddens him when you say you want to go home. * So he comes up with the idea of bringing some of your stuff to his home :D. * That doesn’t fix everything? * He does everything he can to make you feel happy and relaxed, knowing that his home is now forever your home. * He understands that you need exercise and fresh air sometimes so he lets you walk around the neighborhood at least once or twice a day, but Gonta has to go with you. * It’s overwhelming to say the least, but he loves you and treats you well, so that’s all that matters right? Even when you can’t go out on your own, talk to your friends, your family, or anyone in general… as long as you have him… * “Gonta promises to make you happy forever!”

Ryoma Hoshi * He’s ashamed of his past, but he has no problem owning up to it. * He hated that he had to kill those mafia members…yet he has no problem with dealing with anyone who even bats an eye at you. * It wasn’t like he was going to lie to you. * Yes, he did kill anyone who got too close. Heck no he wasn’t going to stop. * You honestly didn’t know what to do about this. * So you did what any reasonable person would do in this situation… * You did as he asked so he wouldn’t resort to violence anymore. * Your friends and family and any random stranger would live if you just loved him passed the sadistic monster who hurt countless others. * No one else was going to die because of you, and he would still get to love you. This is a win-win, right? Right?!?! * As long as you were happy…and being happy meant staying alive at this moment… * “You know I’d never hurt you right…”