#YOUR INSANE MIND IS SO COOL
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Tyt to rest!!!! :D
OK OK SO IN MY INSANE MIND!!!!! (Literwlly.most of these are horror games and i. Assign them littlr characters )
Chimera would be like a mix of rhythm games like muse dash or taiko no tatsujin me thinks... she'd also be like?????? Those nail painting games that have those shiny twinkle spund effects and also girls go games ... she also reminfs me of puyo puyo tetris amf splatoon!!!!!!
Gamaliel reminds me of horror games like point and click horror games just like michael... and they also remind me of faith the unholy trinity!!! They also kind of remind me of Whos Lila and maze horror games ( tormented)
Yuriel ..... Im not that familiar with her tbh, but she looks like girls go games to me mixed with a little sort of obscure game museum thing like lsd dream sim <<< its bright btw and is like trippy ... also she seems like a type moon neco arc main to me tbh
Pyrite im not so familiar with either but they remind me of the genocide route from undertale also guilty gear + subnautica but i think shed mess around with the leviathans and start stabbing themwhile theyre frozen in place
Raphael to me is scotomophobia on roblox and iron lung .... (idk). I think she's like? Kind offfffff like Mixed wih michael point and click game AND asylum roblox games (idont knowbwhy again)
W is like spookys jumpscare mansion but they remind me of specimen 5 specifically <<<< cw for trypophobia when u search it up... they also remind me of house flipper and i dont know why ... subnautica sub zero also
- bonuses abt the way you draw other ultk characters and stuff -
The way you draw Gabriel reminds me of those pottery games and also dont starve (with gamaliel).... + the game cats are liquid becuase of how miserable he is (including gamaliel).... gabriel in your stule looks like he belongs in fnaf (positive)
The way you draw v2 reminds me of hollow knight for some reason especially grimm (is thst how you spell it) also !!!!!!!when v2 and pyrite r together they remind me of portal co-op + rainworld with pyrite
V1 in ur stule reminds me of coolmathgames especially monkey go happy for some reason?@?@?!??#,-,÷?' Also roblox tycoons and those weird games you see at the bottom of a guy shorts video
-- sorry for my ramblings gahhh im Going crazy iam alsonsorry if these dont really fit them .... ;;
im eating this im eating this im
thank you im absorbing All of this into my mind its so cool and i love your thoughts
now. now im thinking of scug v2 and pyrite. I'm thinking of all of it actually thank you
#theese kinda asks are my Favorite I love whrn they are Long and I can Read#thank you for being chimeras number one fan#anonymous#I'm absorbing this im eating it#YOUR INSANE MIND IS SO COOL
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adamantly anti TLT movie/series adaptation but adamantly pro TLT video game adaptation. it is the only way to recreate the authentic experience of not knowing what the fuck is happening
#think about it it would be so good if you opened your mind#ESPECIALLY htn would be so cool imagine it has insanely different gameplay than the gtn game and it doesnt even bother explaining why#or providing you with a tutorial. you just fuck around and find out like tazmuir intended#the locked tomb#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#alecto the ninth
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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
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love run, love run, for all the things we wished we'd done
#not okay about them#this was made with amnesiac kazuma in mind btw#deeply fascinated with how he knew he had to go to london but did not know why#always on the move but not knowing why#i think at the time he missed ryunosuke but did not know who he was missing him#just that there was someone he loved#ALSO i know that outfit is implied post canon but it looked cool so i decided to use it for pre 2-3 era kazuma. sue me#song is love run by the amazing devil btw if youre a fan im insane about their music fyi#the great ace attorney#asoryuu#dgs#tgaa#tgaa2 spoilers#fanart#art#kazuma asogi#ryunosuke naruhodo
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
#🐦⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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its funny how many balloon smp members are on tumblr like theres been a few times a big post has appeared on my dash and im like hey wait a minute i know them. from minecraft
#skye's ramblings#also at some point in hollys streams 'jame7t has joined the game' popped up in her chat n i was like the fuckig tublr bloag?? its so funny#so many members of the smp liked/rbed that clip of val n holly i posted including val themself n it was such a wild feeling to me#proximity to creators i admire is fucking with my mind. ive seen your posts before n had no idea what a cool person you are. thats insane
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alright!!!! kitchen CLEANED ‼️ carry on PACKED ‼️ now i just need to do my homework and then maybe take a really really really quick (4 hour long) nap before dinner/online class. then i will grind on the silly silly why did i decide to do this animation meme/animatic until 3 am hits and i've gotta hit the port. the AIRport :3
in exchange for my incredible unprecedented productiveness i made this little doodle just now. i'm actually a liar i did this in school but still
#honestly killer could be doing fuck knows and i wouldn't even know. still love him though#at this point???? at this point i dont even keep up with his characterization i will not lie#horror and dust are my favorite children im sorry killer. you'll get your time to shine when the seasons change#which is probably soon idk man whatever i love them all ewually :333#anyways killer's just not sleeping in that one. bro's had the longest streak of no sleep he aint breaking it now#erm ACTUALLY he's looking at the viewer and therefore breaking the fourth wall and thats soooooo cool#triglycercule what are you on#why are they all sleeping in the same bed#well obviously because they didn't wanna deal with multiple#but also they cannot be bothered to cuddle close together#dust kicks too much. horror steals too much space. killer sometimes just sits up for several periods of time#worlds craziest sleep#killer actually could be sleeping in that one but i just dont know#but triglycercule didnt you draw this and therefore should know what he's doing?????#idk man killer's an enigma i cant control him 💀💀💀 he does his own shit whatever#i lov making killer so crazily abnormal its so silly#who cares about canon (i do) ok well still im having FUN doodling#shut up and get back to rereading askdusttale and horrortale and something new#alright........ (pitifully limps away)#i tag some things rants when its actually art but i just dont want my art tsg 2 be littered with doodles#maybe thats bad. maybe i should start tagging properly#ok rant tag removed........ iGUESS this is art#euaghhhhhh but its just a DOODLS!!!! IT DOESNT DESERVE TO BE CONSIDERED GOOD ART WORTHY OF THE TAG#but triglycercule art is art no matter if doodle or not. stop belittling yourself for naught!#i hate when i get inspirational and supportive on myself man can i just suffer without some knowitall up my ass#i sound insane rn what am i doing. the bit is not funny#and i changed my mind this is a rant again not art#tricule rant#see it WOULD be both if i wanted to do dual tags. but i dont
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*remembers what they did to Vanny* 500 FUCKING PIPEBOMB ATTACK.
#em.txt#WHY#how can you see the fucking absolute fire that is building up & go. 'yeah douse it. now bring back peepaw AGAIN'#BUILD HER UP 2 GAMES EARLY --- & THEN DO NOTHING!!!!!!!!? FUCK#WE CAN'T HAVE WOMEN DO THINGS IN FNAF I GUESS#the company's scop was too big & they developed the game seperately from the environment & made the environment above the game#cut playable vanessa sections. cut vanny appearances.#remove all the plot make vanessa a bitch throw in some invisible walls call it done. 30 dollars now please#security breach isn't just bad. it's not fucking done.#the thing normally with cut content is i can usually agree like 'okay this game cut this but that was a smart choice'#it can be better for time or budget & it can make for better writing.#for instance all the cut content in ahit is neat & as much as i like moonie it's smart to cut his character to build up other ones#& makes for a tighter story & less convoluted area that's more fun to play#when i look at the cut content for security breach their are obvious issues.#it's obvious the company's scope went too far. you built too big an environment. you built the environment before your game.#you prioritized a cool area to the point you expanded the mall from 1 story to 3. do you think that time could have been speant elsewhere#& the other problem is the insane fucking crunch that scott cawthon as a dev placed on himself & others to maintain relevancy#a single person locking themselves ina room for months to stay relevant is fucked. a game studio physically cannot do that.#you see shit in the prerelease like they wanted a bowling minigame a kart minigame a freeroam minigame etc#what about vanny? what did you want with this character? you clearly had something in mind#but we needed to cut it so we can fit in mazercise i fucking guess or chica's bakery or trash heap#here's what we have: less than 1 minute screentime. the 2 vanessa ending comic. that's it#oh wait i forgot. 'vanny. sounds like vanessa & bunny. this cabnot be a coincidence ' & THEN IT NEVER COMES UP AGAIN#princess quest used to be about that bitch in golden freddy you retconned it to be about vanessa SO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT#her whole shit is apparently in service to william afton. why isn't she in the afton fight at all#does she not know he's down there? is he unrelated? does she know she's working for the mimic? is she not working for him?#is she at all related to the fucking bunny from ruin or like what#what about the rainbow hair. what about her tech prowess. what about the cut missing kids only referenced in duffle bag messages now.#fuck you & fuck me as well why can't i be passionate about hvac systems#why's it gotta be this shittass gsme.
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That post with a bunch of open pit mines and "your culture" has me losing my mind at 8am lol.
This is what not teaching history, metallurgy, and resource management in school does to a society. Everyone is getting a lesson on Indian diamonds, Nigerian iron, SW turquoise, and Cyprus copper tonight.
#'your culture'. oh listen up mate. I dont care WHERE you came from your ancesters had a culture of resource extraction.#If it wasn't a nonrenewable resource it was a renewable resource. But they had a culture of extraction and you have a culture of extraction#So dont go running around here trying to guilt trip people about 'your' culture.#Colonialism is a whole other bag of bastards.#Im going to make breakfast cool off and go to work lol.#ptxt#..... fuckin limestone quarry ass picture making me laugh. use a picture of kennecott or grasberg at least plz#Italians looking up from cutting Carrera marble like 'Oh shit my culture of extraction...'#(To be clear this is NOT an endorsement of colonialism but you can NOT mesh colonialism and resource extraction TOGETHER bc they are wholly#different beasts.)#This is actually really exciting. i get to talk about my interests :3#If you see this girderednerve the post is great lol~ I'm pathologically insane. Don't mind me~
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......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier
#IM KIDDING ALKJNFGADFBG IM SORRY MARK BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NAMED THIS PLAYLISTTTTTT#actually you know what on the slim to none chance i submit this at Just the right time and it gets a bunch of notes#and he somehow does actually see this post#(hi sappy/backstory tm incoming feel free to continue scrolling lmao>>)#mark you helped my mom so much#she was sick for 5 years and in that time as she got weaker and more tired what she had an abundance of was Time#and as someone who since losing her has now also become extremely depressed i underrstand Even More how horrible that kind of Time can be#to have and go through and be frustrated and devastated and bored out of your mind#but some of my friends started me in watching your videos#and she was my best friend#i shared everything with her#so of course i shared your videos too#and we would watch a lot of them together but you also have so many on your channel from so far back in addition to the new ones#that she had plenty to go back through and watch on her own while i was at school#we always felt like your humor and mentality fit right in with the rest of the household like you were a longtime friend#or neighbor from just down the road who we spoke with regularly or smth idk it was just so easy for your videos to be engaging and upliftin#she could have a playlist on to fall asleep to and be distracted from everything coming up...and that means more#than i could ever begin to thank you for#i think fnaf had been one of the things id been introduced to you through..and then tiny box tim we loved tiny box tim#back when you were first getting into making shorts and improving equipment/editing quality i always thought it would be so cool#if we somehow ran into one another on the street somewhere and i could offer to help#because i was watching those videos too! i want to make them as cool as possible and im going to school for it i know tips and tricks#and by now im sure youve probably surpassed what i know haha the INSANELY awesome and frankly gorgeous cinematography and impressive#but anyway... i know she had those videos to fill the Time when i was at school#and sometimes when i wasnt but when i was too exhausted#and i know you made her laugh and smile through it all#and that means everythingto me#ok well thhat got sappy fast sorry everyone christ#ive thought so many times over the years about trying to write something in the comments on a video or send an email or something and like#i feel bad same time cos i know soooo many people have similar stories or treat youtubers/celebrities like theyre actual saviors and angels
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it is always a little funny to me when people try to make psychologists and psychiatrists out to be the only people ever capable of being able to accurately diagnose mental illnesses and disorders and that their word is law as a way to criticize self diagnosis when like. once i was hospitalized and the psychiatrist there who i had not even known for more than a day tried to diagnose me as bipolar despite me having No history of mania because he.. couldn't really understand why i acted the way i did i guess???
#milgran't#tw hospital#tw psych ward#i just randomly remembered this (i say randomly as if i dont know exactly why im thinking about this stuff). dont mind me#tbh i should make a tag for like. more personal posts. but. idk what to make the tag name..#oh well#apologies for not being cool and collected and expressing things that show that im a human with emotions and needs recently#The Holidays are probably. one of the worst times of the year for me </3#its not even seasonal depression or whatever its just Oh Jesus Oh Fuck Oh God (gets hit by 99999 trauma bullets)#that psychiatrist sucked SOOOO fucking bad btw#trying to prematurely diagnose me as bipolar was one of the tamest things he did during my stay#i hate him i genuinely hope he dies <3#tbh i think he actually did. Break The Law with me. he probably couldve argued it was for the safety of others bc im crazy :3. but.#sometimes i just Remember That and im like. huh. hey what the fuck actually#but seriously. so many mental health professionals just make you sit there and go. .. how the FUCK did you get your license??????#ive heard some of The Most ''oh only people who are completely ignorant about mental health say this!'' type of shit from professionals#idk why im the one being labelled as insane when they think saying some of that shit is okay and professional MFKDLSFMDSf
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"heres the drawing hope you think it's" cool- Dual of mind
[BROADCAST_ERROR — CONNECTION_TERMINATED]
#he got a bit too flustered. he didnt think anyone would want to draw him#ANYWAY THATS MY LIVE REACTION TOO CUZ IM LOSING MY MIND!!!!#i literally had to stop drawing the ask i was working on just to go insane over this one bc ohhh my godfhg oh ymggod#HE LOOKS SO GOOD… BURSTS INTO TEARS!!!#i love the art style and the rock on hand gesture. i am Losing my Mind#im literally exploding rn#thank you so much dude#your iterator oc looks super cool too i love the idea!!!!#anyway. blows the whole EARTH up#is for me tag#no way back is here
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bro the approval juggling is real in this game it feels like every time sabine opens her mouth lae'zel gets PISSED
#they're still fairly good#ive already reached the point where shadowheart wants to romance my sabine they get along insanely well#considering shes a paladin#i think its just cos like. sabines interpretation of her devotion oath is#''i am so strong and cool and help people i like because helping people and seeing the best in people is cool and makes me cool''#so shes like ''yea astarion you can drink my blood its good i would rather you not die im glad youve seen sunlight for the first time''#''dont worry gale take these magic items dont worry about the value i just want you to be okay''#''i dont mind who you worship shadowheart there has to be a balance in this world and youre a part of it''#intelligence 8 wisdom 10. eldest child of 13 is why shes Like This
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Generation X Epic Collection: Emplate's Revenge (2022)
this. has me SO fucked up. "every time i ask myself why we're doin' this, every time -- somethin' happens to remind me." and, like. it's really giving 'chicken or the egg.' is this school necessary to protect these kids from incidents like this, or are these incidents simply happening to them because they're at the school and training underneath the x-men, thereby exposing them at a much higher level to all the crazy fucking shit the x-men get involved in, but then that makes it seem like they NEED to be at the school to be protected even though it's actually putting them at more risk than if they weren't there??? GEE I WONDER.
#and like dont get me wrong obviously mutant kids who ARENT at the institute are still getting into trouble constantly.#and it really does seem to be a wager of which risk is more worthwhile. yknow. but. i really cannot ever shake this train of thought.#bc yes kids outside the institute/academy don't have the fallback of the x-men. of trained adult mutants. to help them. protect them.#but these trained adult mutants AREN'T protecting them. not completely. theyre still getting hurt and threatened CONSTANTLY.#kids should not be exposed to combat kids should not be training to become x-men you should not even PUT THE THOUGHT OF JOINING THE X-MEN#INTO THEIR MINDS!!! THEY ARE JUST CHILDREN!!!! THEY NEED TO GROW UP MORE BEFORE THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT!!!!!#jubilee is THIRTEEN AND A HALF and they have yet to touch on how INSANE THAT IS.#she was running with the LITERAL ACTUAL ADULT X-MEN. AS A CHILD. IT'S LIKE???????? HELLO?????????#none of the kids are okay NONE of them are there is NO WAY these kids are mentally sound. start all the way at the fucking o5#and work your way down and it's just traumatized children all the way.#it just blows my mind that. like. this is not a thread that gets followed very often. like these kids should be SO fucked up. but then they#grow up and they become x-men and it's fine everything's cool#WHERE IS THE THERAPY???????#anyways.#everett thomas#jubilation lee#sean cassidy#summer's comic reading
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done ��� you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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#man i am losing my fuckign MIND like actually going clinically insane this time!#had a huge fun cry out breakdown during lunch during my therapy session today 🤪🤪🤪#and this bitch had the audacity to come at me exactly like i��m paying him to#i’m. genuinely distraught hahaha#he’s saying that instead of just having the longest list of diagnoses ever now PLUS c-ptsd#he thinks it’s c-ptsd causing most of the other shit#which! fine! whatever! that would be SUCH a nice way to tie everything else up and hopefully throw it away#but like i can’t even get past the initial ‘oh babes. you have SUCH complex ptsd’#idk idk idk idk idk idk there’s just something so fun and wonderful about having your entire worldview upended#having lots of fun now doubling down on doubting my own perceptions and views of the world n people around me#me: listing out everything wrong with me#my therapist: yes you’ve literally just handed me a list of symptoms for this. congrats#poor guy really had to recenter me like three separate times ‘why is accepting this so hard for you?’#AND i’ve apparently been dissociating and not even the fun cool kind!!!#nooooooo i can’t just float n leave n go somewhere else#nooooooo instead i get the super annoying barely recognizable type that feels like i’m up one and slightly to the left#SUCH bullshit#shut up sydney
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