#YOU'VE DESTROYED MUSIC type feelings

[joleneghoul]

I love the song Fast Car so much but its hard to listen to it now bc in college i listened to it so many times in a row my suitemates called a wellness check on me so i think abt that everytime. I was fine i just like that song.

[neverendingford]

.

[mabelstone]

Imagine Being Loved by Me

hozier x f! reader

part three of lullabies <3 | part two | masterlist

cw: 18+, nothing too serious but a bit teeeny bit of smut

word count: 3.2k

taglist: @princezty @somethinglikero @jimihendrixpopfigure

Three weeks have gone by since I walked in on Joe piledriving another woman in my bed.

Three weeks ago after a beautiful morning of jazz music, pancakes, and instant coffee, Andrew drove me back to my house to pick up my car. I sent him away with an earnest hug, putting on my bravest face as I let myself inside. No shit, there were rose petals on nearly every inch of floor board. I fought the urge to roll my eyes, instead, tiptoed upstairs into my room. Joe was asleep in bed, and I nearly tasted my breakfast for a second time that morning. Instantly, I felt nauseated, the type that makes you hot and dizzy and want to run away and never come back.

I pushed the feeling back down, determined to grab all my shit and forget this tainted cell of a house I once loved more than anything. Furiously, I began stuffing all of my clothes into a suitcase. Then in another bag, I took everything that belonged to me; sheets, towels, everything down to the last teabag. I was fuelled with rage, huffing and puffing my way around the house, lugging my bags out to my car. Oh, fuck. My keys.

Where are my car keys?

I searched the house like a mad woman, tearing apart the couches, looking in every cupboard and under every piece of furniture. Nothing. I called Andrew, asking if I'd had them at the bar, as if he'd know the answer if I didn't. "Ehm... just your house keys? I tink..."

"I tink you're no help," I mocked, hanging up with the briefest of smiles before I was playing detective again. I searched for nearly an hour before caving in and waking Joe.

I shook his shoulder roughly, standing back with my arms crossed once he finally stirred awake.

"Mmm..." He groaned, and I waited patiently with a scowl for him to realise it was me and not some broad off the street. "Oh, you're finally home."

"Where are my keys?" I deadpanned, fuse shorter than ever. I wasn't in the mood for the slightest conversation with him.

"I missed you so much, babe," he sighed, pulling my stiff body into a hug. I peeled myself away from him, repeating myself.

"Where are my keys, Joe? I left them in the fruit bowl, and now they are gone."

"Let's talk first before we make any hasty decisions," he coaxed, pulling me by my wrists onto the bed beside him. "I can't explain how sorry I am."

"Joe, please."

"I've been up all night crying, my heart is broken," he sighed emphatically, taking my hand into his. Oh, you're the heartbroken one? "I can't imagine a life without you."

"You weren't thinking that way when you were fucking the girl you met at my show."

"You hadn't had sex with me in weeks! I was getting desperate-"

"Just stop," I barked, throwing his hand off of me. "Give me my car keys so I can leave. This doesn't need to be any harder than you've already made it."

After minutes of brutally painful back and forth, he gave me the keys to his safe. I unlocked it to find my keys and an open jewellery box with a sparkling engagement ring. He was sitting on the bed, eyes filled with optimism, and I almost fell for it.

My phone buzzed and I saw a message from Andy.

You haven't crashed your car have you? X

I took my keys and closed the safe, turning on my heels out of the bedroom.

"Um, what the fuck?" Joe called out as he followed close behind me, roughly grabbing at my arm when I was halfway out the front door. "I just proposed to you, and you don't even have the decency to say no?"

"No," I replied, unlocking my car and tossing my bags into the boot.

"What? Babe, don't throw this away," he began to cry, clearly panicked.

"I haven't thrown anything away. You have." I shoved him away by his chest, just about ready to boil over with anger. "You have destroyed any shred of trust I had in you. It's over, Joe."

My tough act began to slip as my voice shook, climbing into my car and slamming the door shut before he could see how hard this really was on me. He screamed something inaudible at me as I drove away, and I watched him sob into his hands from the rearview mirror.

I cried the entire drive to my mums, ignoring the hundreds of calls I missed from him.

Andrew and I continued to spend time together. I spent many nights at my mums place while I tried to look for a house. I didn't have rental history as Joe wouldn't put me on the lease... because I didn't have rental history. "Babe, it'll just make everything harder," was once his excuse.

When my step dad would get unbearable, Andrew would invite me to spend the night. These nights would frequently begin with me sobbing about how broken hearted I was, and end with him and I snuggling on the couch to a movie. Innocent enough, sure. But after weeks of abstinence following six years of frequent sex, I was pent up. So pent up to the point where I would have to excuse myself for some time alone with his retractable shower head. Many of my thoughts of Andrew were so explicit, you'd think they were from the brain of a teenage boy who'd plough through two boxes of tissues a day. This of course left me feeling inexplicably guilty and beyond confused.

Tonight, we drank wine and sang cheesy duets together. We clumsily danced and laughed until we cried. He had the coordination of a newborn giraffe, and though I'd never admit it to him, I wasn't much better. He drunkenly rambled about how in a perfect world, he'd own a cottage in Wicklow and keep bees. I told him how I'd be a florist who sold my Irish friends' honey.

As if routine now, we'd share a blanket on the couch and watch a movie. Last night was Superbad, tonight was Inception. Andrew mindlessly carded his fingers through my hair, and with the comfort that brought me mixed with the wine, I was out to it within minutes.

His beard tickled the inside of my thigh as he continued to bite and suck at the sensitive skin, eyes boring holes into mine with a devilish grin.

"C'mon, Andy," I whined, throwing my head back in frustration. I closed my legs over his head, desperate to feel his mouth on me where I needed it viscerally.

"Patience, darlin'," he tsked at me, spreading my legs wide before him again. "Look so fuckin' gorgeous right now."

"Please, just touch me," I begged, reaching a new peak of arousal that was actually causing me pain. "Anything, just fucking touch me!"

He just chuckled, locking his arms around my thighs, pulling me closer to his face. He continued to place hot, wet opened mouthed kisses along my thighs, his beard scratching over my clit for a split second, and I swore I was on the brink of orgasm immediately. I grabbed a fistful of his hair, impatience taking full control of my autonomy.

He licked a languid stripe up my clit, causing me to let out a guttural moan, arching my back beneath him. He pushed me back down by my hips, one hand easily reaching my breast as he toyed with my nipple.

"Fuck, Andy," I cried, eyes screwing shut as every single nerve ending of mine came alive.

"Look at me," he ordered, the low rumble of his voice vibrating against my core. Without warning, my orgasm rippled through me, each nerve erupting like fireworks as I chanted his name.

I woke up panting, taking a moment to realise I was laying with Andrew on the couch. And processing the fact that I actually just orgasmed in my sleep.

"What's a'matter?" His voice was soft and concerned as he turned his head to face me.

"Weird dream," I laughed breathlessly, heart still pounding in my chest. This happened far too often. I almost wanted to spill my guts and confess everything he made me feel.

"Dreamin' of me, huh?" He grinned down at me, and I felt my cheeks burn.

A moment's silence.

"What?" Please tell me I wasn't moaning his name in my sleep.

"I'm jokin'," he laughed, averting his eyes back to the TV. "Unless you were."

I laughed along too, though in my head I was screaming. 'Unless you were,' what the fuck does that mean?

The credits rolled over the screen and like routine, we got off the couch and went to our separate rooms. Except this time, my heart didn't settle, and I didn't get much sleep.

We went about our days as usual, as if I didn’t fantasise about him every waking moment. I worried that I was catching feelings, and catching them far too fast for someone who'd only just gotten out of a 6 year relationship.

I couldn’t help it. I was infatuated. Infatuated was an understatement. I was completely and utterly enamoured by Andrew. I wanted to be in his presence every moment I could. I often told little white lies so I could spend the night, even though our we remained within a strictly friends only basis.

He was kinder than any man I’d ever met, insisting on having to open every door for me, sending me off to bed with a glass of water each night, and waking me with coffee just how I liked. He was gentle and tentative, always fast at identifying cues when I was upset.

But that��s all we were - just friends.

I began to crave his touch, desperate for any opportunity to feel his skin on mine. He’d often play me a new song he’d written, and I’d watch on with hearts for eyes as his skilled fingers worked his guitar effortlessly.

I saw it in his eyes too, sure he wanted me how I wanted him. I dreamt of climbing into his lap, kissing him until my lips were swollen or until he couldn’t take it anymore and we’d need to take off our clothes to satiate our desires.

But I couldn’t.

When it felt like we were moving in that direction, I’d turn ice cold. Though my heart was begging me to love him how he deserved, my brain knew this was probably just a rebound. And someone with a heart as golden as Andy's didn’t deserve the hell grief I’d cause him.

So I brushed off each pet name as if hearing them didn’t cause my stomach to do acrobats. I treated each night on the couch as if we were simply best friends who enjoyed each others' company. As though there was no other option than spooning on the couch where his scent became hardwired into my brain. I’d act as if I couldn’t feel his hard on pressing into the small of my back most nights. I’d pretend I’d have no idea what he was really doing when he’d have to excuse himself halfway through the movie to ‘make a call.’ It’s just how it worked for us.

And often, I wondered if it was torturing him as much as it was me.

We pulled up at the venue, Andrew of course opening my door for me, offering me his hand as I stepped out onto the kerb. I thanked him and we headed in together, turning a few heads as we did so. Not that this was unusual, he was 6’6” and painfully handsome, after all. He’d also given himself quite the name, rumours of a few producers attending tonight in hopes of setting him a deal.

“Remember me when you’re famous and touring the world without me,” I fake pouted, fluttering my eyelashes at him.

“Well obviously, nobody forgets their muse,” he bumped his shoulder into mine, that cheeky grin stretched across his face. “Besides, I owe you that much for giving me something to write about.”

I nearly choked on my drink, raising my eyebrows at him. “And what songs are written about me, hm?”

“The monster mash?” He kept a straight face, giving me that duh look at the same time.

“Oh, shut up, Andrew.” I laughed, acutely aware of the man who just sat beside me. “I’m being serious! It'd make me happy to know.”

“You’ll know when you hear ‘em, baby,” he grinned, throwing back his glass of champagne. Baby. My heart leapt from me, and in that moment I was grateful that he wouldn’t have noticed the deep blush splattered across my cheeks. He was too busy claiming another round of free drinks for us.

“Please tell me that’s your brother or something,” the man sat beside me spoke up, chocolate brown eyes so endearing, thick American accent on his lips.

"I sure hope not," I joked. His face fell, and I realise how that could've been misconstrued. "No- he's not my boyfriend either. We just sing together."

He put his hands together in prayer, looking up to the roof, mouthing, 'thank you, God.' I laughed at him, shaking my head. He had dark brown curls similar to Andy's, his were just more tame and much shorter. Full lips that twisted into a dopey smile, and if I weren't so confused with my emotions, I'd have jumped into a cab and gone home with him without a second thought. "I'm Will," he introduced himself, shaking my hand.

"Y/N," I blushed when he kissed my knuckles, wondering where the hell Andy had run off to. "Where are you from?" I attempted to avert the conversation, regaining ownership of my hand.

"Colorado," he smiled, signalling to the bartender that he wanted to order another round. "And you're a singer?"

"Uh... well I sing, yes," I giggled, the three prior glasses of bubbles gone to my head. "I wouldn't label myself a singer as such."

"Well aren't you just the cutest thing," he grinned, slipping his hand onto my thigh.

"I uh," I stammered, struggling to find the words. "That's very kind," my eyes searched the room for Andy. He towered over mostly everybody wherever we were, standing out like a sore thumb. But for some reason, he was nowhere to be found right when I needed him.

"I'm only in town for the night," he leaned in close to me, his breath hot in my ear, and his hand only getting warmer on my thigh. "Once you're done your little performance, why don't you come back to my hotel and give me an encore?"

Like the Gods had intervened, a familiar calloused hand was grabbing my arm. "C'mon, we gotta go backstage." I looked up to Andy, his expression rigid, bordering on disgust and anger.

"Oh, okay," I nodded, hopping up from my stool, Will's hand quickly retracted. "Uh, see you," I smiled awkwardly, Andrew's grip still around my arm.

"Here's your drink," he let me go, handing my glass to me.

"You saved me, Andy," I laughed, glancing back at the man who'd already moved onto his next victim. "Total wanker."

"Mhm," he hummed, not even looking at me as we made our way backstage.

"Everything alright?" I prodded, his expression unchanging. He didn't reply, instead opened the door to the green room for me. We weren't at our usual bar tonight. We'd been invited to perform at a decently size theatre that just so happened to be full of producers, offering free drinks for the performers. Maybe not the best combination.

The green room was alive with seven or so other musicians, all mingling amongst each other as they awaited their turns. There was a table lined with finger food, and a minibar with premixed drinks. Andrew had made a beeline straight for the snacks table. Typical.

"Um, hello?" I whisper shouted to him, trailing behind him like a lost puppy. "Is there a reason you're ignoring me? Is it because of that bloke? Because I-"

"Yes," was all he replied, taking his food to one of the couches with him.

"Okay," I was surprised with how forward he was, sitting down beside him, honestly perplexed by his rigidity. "...Why?"

"I didn't like the way he was talking to you," he shrugged, still avoiding my eye contact. "He was disrespectful."

"So... why are you icing me out, exactly?"

"I will say the wrong things, better to say nothin'."

This was unlike any way I'd seen him act before. Cold, annoyed... jealous? Surely not.

"Well, I'm sorry I- or he made you feel this way."

"Andrew Hozier-Byrne? You're on in two minutes," one of the stage hands announced, nursing his clipboard on his hip like a baby. "And we're still going ahead with the song change?"

Andy nodded, having a quick drink of water and tossing his rubbish away.

"Song change?" I questioned, following behind him. I made sure to watch every performance of his, even if it meant being amongst the audience when I wasn't also performing.

"Oh, yeah. When I went to get you a drink, I quickly changed my song. No biggie," he shrugged, tying his hair back into a bun, slipping his cap over the top. Jesus Christ, he looked fucking edible.

"What's the song?" I pressed further, still adamant despite the backstage timer ticking '30 seconds.'

"Haven't named it," he shrugged his guitar strap over his shoulders, giving me a wry smile. "It's about you, though."

I blushed deep, unable to form words. There was no space for talking anyway; he headed out onto the stage, leaving me dumbfounded as I watched on.

He awkwardly introduced himself, as he did each night.

And then followed my undoing.

I'd be the voice who urged Orpheus when her body was found.

I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him underground.

I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee that made him turn around.

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice.

Imagine being loved by me.

Suddenly, there was not nearly enough air behind this curtain as I watched on, awestruck.

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do.

So I try to talk refined in fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you.

I'd be the last shred of truth lost in the myth of true love.

I'd be the sweet feeling of release mankind now dreams of.

That's found in the last witness before the wave hits, marvelling at God.

Before he feels alone one time and marries the sea.

Imagine being loved by me.

Fuck.

My knees felt weak, sure my ears were deceiving me. Imagine being loved by me. Oh, but I do.

Sure enough, producers from many labels were flagging him down from the minute his set finished, flooding the backstage where I was waiting for him.

I ended up having to go on straight after Andrew, thankfully. I couldn't think of any words to say, and the ones I could think of were highly inappropriate. Not that he would mind, clearly.

I hung around after my set, making eye contact with Andy here and there, waving him off when he looked like he might leave the conversations for me. I was happy for him. Ecstatic. And the craving for his touch only multiplied tenfold with his subtle admission that he felt the same.

tricked ya!! i am physically incapable of writing slow burn lol i hope u enjoy what i have for u in the next chapter xx it'll be very juicy (and hopefully longer)

i've also added a taglist as per a request, lmk if you wanna be added xo

[real-team-luster]

Dragon-type ask game

It's been a while since my last ask game, I'm sure you were all just as eager for the next one as I am. As always, please feel free to ask me any of these questions.

Dratini/Dragonair/Dragonite - What's the rarest Pokemon you've ever seen?

Kingdra - In what ways do you feel you are superior to others? (Be honest!)

Vibrava/Flygon - Do you consider yourself to have a good singing voice? Or at least a decent one?

Altaria - Do you enjoy cloud-gazing?

Bagon/Shelgon/Salamence - Name one key event in your life that helped you "come out of your shell", so to speak, and shaped you as a person.

Latias/Latios - Do you ever wish you could move somewhere where you could be well and truly alone, or does the very idea unsettle you?

Rayquaza - How often do you go flying?

Gible/Gabite/Garchomp - If people find you intimidating, how warranted is that? If people find you otherwise, are they right to?

Dialga/Palkia/Giratina - Any myths/legends that particularly captivate you?

Axew/Fraxure/Haxorus - Are you naturally an irritable sort of person?

Druddigon - What is your worst bad habit?

Deino/Zweilous/Hydreigon - Do you ever get mistaken to be another person's sibling? If so, who is it?

Reshiram/Zekrom/Kyurem - What are your thoughts on the idea of Pokemon fusion? Is it ethical or not?

Dragalge - Do you like the ocean?

Tyrunt/Tyrantrum - Would anyone ever dare refer to you as "spoiled?"

Goomy/Sliggoo/Goodra - Are you more of a lover than a fighter?

Noibat/Noivern - How interested are you in music?

Zygarde - How far would you go for the sake of protecting the planet?

Turtonator/Drampa - When you get angry, are you prone to destroying/damaging things?

Jangmo-o/Hakamo-o/Kommo-o - Do you consider honor to be a major factor in your life?

Guzzlord - Are you a big eater?

Poipole/Naganedel - Have you ever considered medicine as a career choice?

Applin/Flapple/Appletun - What's your favorite dessert?

Dracozolt/Dracovish - Worst mistake you've ever mad? (As bad as you're comfortable sharing.)

Dreepy/Drakloak/Dragapult - Are you at all interested in archaeology?

Eternatus - What does the idea of "eternity" mean to you?

Regidrago - One project, idea, goal, or other passion you left unfinished, for whatever reason.

Cyclizar - Favorite mode of transporation?

Tatsugiri - Would your friends call you a sneaky sort of person?

Frigibax/Arctibax/Baxcalibur - When were you the most underwhelmed?

Roaring Moon - Most violent wild Pokemon you've ever encountered?

Koraidon/Miraidon - What's something in your past you look back on fondly/something coming up in your future that you anticipate?

Walking Wake - If you had the ability to walk on water, what would you do with it?

Archaludon - Ever helped to build something with your own two hands? How did it make you feel?

Dipplin/Hydrapple - Are you good at working within a team?

Gouging Fire - Is defense or offense more important to you?

Raging Bolt - Have you ever been made fun of your height, or lack thereof?

[writingredrose]

birthday surprise | Idia x reader

summary : It's Idia's birthday today and you decided to get him a present. Along with maybe something you've been wanting to tell him for a long time

warnings : none :3

fic type : fluff

a /n : Is it just me or Idia is a VERY hard character to write? :') Also mb if the romantic scenes suck, I can't write them well :'(

— Introduction —

The snow was slowly falling onto the grass outside Ramshackle dorm, covering it in a nice thin snow blanket. And while outside it was peaceful, inside the dorm was chaos.

The AceDeuce duo had invited themselves in the dorm earlier, but that escalated quickly as for some reason while you and Deuce were talking, Ace started chasing Grim through the whole dorm. “Hey Grim! Ace! Can you sto- AGH GRIM COME ON!„ You quickly avoided a blast of fire coming from Grim too close to a certain blue box that was sitting close to the window. “Shit,the box! Deuce! Do something!„ “I'm on it Prefect! I summon thee, cauldron!„ “Are you stupid?!? Don't -! „ Too late, a big cauldron dropped from thin air not only stopping the fight, but also making a whole new hole into the already destroyed floor. Well, at least the box was safe and steady in your hands. You got closer to the cauldron coughing a bit from the dust in the air. “You've got to be kiddin' me man, I just fixed the floor!„ “Ah, sorry Prefect, I just couldn't think of another way to stop the fight„

You sighed and looked at the box on your hands. “You could've destroyed the box idiots. Must you always fight when you're together? You're like a bunch of children!„ “Oh come on! We didn't even do anything bad! Besides what even is in the box that's so important??„ You look at it again, the faint blush on your face doesn't go unnoticed by the three. “It's a present for Idia„

You would've never guessed Idia would even allow such a party with this many people. Thinking about it, he probably didn't, it was most likely Ortho who wished his big brother would interact with people more, and since it's his birthday he probably saw a big opportunity for it.

Speaking of which, you've been looking for Idia for a while now. There were two options here : 1. either he was locked in his room not even bothering to come out or 2. He is somewhere here, hiding in a corner most likely playing one of his gacha games. You figured you should keep looking, you were sure your present was definitely gonna boost his mood. As you were looking for him, you accidentally bumped into someone. “Ah! Y/N-san hello!„ Looking down from where the voice came from, it was none other than Ortho. Well, maybe he could help you find Idia. “Ortho hello! Hey, I have a question. Do you have any idea where your brother might be? I can't seem to spot him anywhere„ “Of course! Nii-san is right over there in the corner — he said while pointing at the far wall in front of you — He's a bit overwhelmed tho, I hope you can help him, he always seems to like having you around„ Smiling down at the boy and thanking him for helping, you made your way to far back of the room.

And there he was. He was staying on the floor with his knees up and his chin on them playing on his phone. You silently made your way to him and sat down on your knees, box still on your hands. “Hello there birthday boy, are you alright?„ You spoke loud enough for him to hear but not the other people. Idia left out a squeak almost dropping his phone at the sound of your voice. He looked at you and prayed to the sevens you didn't see his pink cheeks. “H-hi Y/N-shi. I'm.. I'm fine. I just hate being in a room full of normies and loud music... that's all„ You looked at him with a small smile. Oh how he loved it when you smiled at him like that. “Yeah, loud music definitely gives me a headache, say, I have a present for you, do you want to go open it in your room? It's less overwhelming there„ Oh Idia loves you so much. He was more than grateful that you understood how he feels perfectly. “Uh yeah, I'd-I'd like that„ „Great let's go!„ Only when you both got up did Idia notice the box in your hands. That must be the present you were talking about. He can't help but have a small, almost unnoticeable, smile on his face at the thought of you going out of your way to buy him a present. Given the fact that your financial situation wasn't the best.

You both discreetly made your way out of the Ignihyde lounge and successfully made it to Idia's room unnoticed by anyone. Idia closed the door behind him and turned to you. You were sitting on the floor with the biggest grin on your face. He laughed. “With how excited you are, people might think you're the one getting the present, not me„ You giggled at his comment. “I'm just excited for you to open it! Now come on! Come sit next to me and open it!„ You patted the spot next to you and Idia hesitantly took a seat on the floor next to you. You excitedly handed him the box motioning for him to open it.

When he opened the box, Idia couldn't contain his surprised yelp. In the box there was the ENTIRE collection of a manga he has been bragging to you about, for months. He never bought it because he never found it online. And he never thought about checking in irl stores. Idia looked at you with wide eyes. “W-where did you get this?!? I couldn't find even one volume online!!„ You laughed at the reaction. “Hm..well, with the help of Jack, Ace, Deuce and Grim, I've been able to find it in one of the stores around Night Raven„ “But-...but, this, without a doubt, was like EXTRA EXPENSIVE!! How did you-?„ “Oh the teachers gave me a hand with money, I helped them after hours and they paid me for it. It was..some very long 5 months„ “FIVE?!„ While Idia was surprised by your gesture, he couldn't help but smile brightly at the gift. Again, the thought of you doing something like this for him...he knew you knew he was a loser who stayed in his room all the time, despite that you still went out of your way to buy something like this. He turned his face to you, his tips of his hair pink and so were his cheeks. “T-thanks... really, I love it„ “You're welcome„ And that's when Idia saw it, despite the genuine smile on your face, he knew there was something else that was bothering you. It's a thing he picked up after staying so much with you, your habits and what they meant. “What's up?„ His concern didn't go unnoticed by you. You took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes, and oh, how beautiful those yellow eyes were. “There's uh... there's something else in the box..„ The blue haired man looked in the box again, and he noticed a paper. He took it out and he figured it was some sort of birthday card. He heard you whisper read it with your head turned around so you wouldn't look at him. Oh boy, what was it? Is it bad? Did you want to break his friendship with him and you wrote it there?!? Did you realize he's a loser and you left him for someone better?! No that can't be! How would he be able to bottle up the courage to confess if you wouldn't be friends anymore?!? Idia didn't like that one bit. Trying to ignore the overthinking in his head, with shaking hands Idia opened the card.

He looked at the text first, mostly admiring your beautiful hand writing. As he started reading, his hair became more and more pink while progressing through the card. He thought he was going to die right then and there when he first read the words "I love you" Idia likes you, he loves you, he adores you so much, he can't even put it into words. He loves your presence, your laugh, your face, everything. He had never told you simply because he knows he's an ugly loser, and you'd never like someone like him. But right now, with the card in his hands, he can't help but silently yelp and the words. You love him and he loves you.

Looking back at you, Idia noticed you still didn't look at him. Body slightly shaking in anticipation. You were scared, scared that he might think it's disgusting for you to feel such things. Even tho he was the one to break the silence. “I- I really...-re-really...- love you...too„ SEVENS WHY WAS HE STUTTERING SO MUCH. He can't get a word out of his mouth. That's when you decided to finally look at him. Your eyes were wide and looking at him with your face read, Idia was thinking that surely his was redder than yours. He looked at the floor and spoke again. “I-I've liked you for..for a while„ Idia looked at you again, he knew you wanted to say something, he waited, not patiently, but he waited. Finally, you took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. Idia was sure going to faint if you kept looking at him like that. “Can I....can I kiss you?„ The moment those words reached his ears, Idia's hair turned a bright red. Of course he wanted to! He dreamed of kissing you, and that happened only in his fanfics! Maybe he shouldn't tell you that tho.

Idia slowly nodded and you both got closer to each other. Closer and closer until your lips meet. And, oh, Idia thought for a second he reached the heavens. How nice it was to kiss you. He hesitated for a second before he lightly put his hands on your waist, trying to get you closer. You answered by putting one of your hands on his cheek, while you intertwined your fingers with the other.

The kiss didn't last long, as Idia needed to breathe. Soft pants could be heard from him, his hair still bright red, like his face. You smiled at him, you smiled at him like you smiled at no one else. And so did he. He gave your hand a squeeze before, once again, breaking the silence. “Can we...do that again? Please..?„ You laughed before scooting closer to him, your bodies almost touching. You got close to his lips to whisper a barley audible "Of course we can„ Before kissing him once again.

Idia hoped he could stay like this forever. Now his birthday party long forgotten by the both of you, only thinking about each other at the moment, and how you hoped you could stay like this for eternity. Ah, how much he loved you.

[madamefeu]

Hi! Here’s what your favorite Helluva Boss character says about you. Once again, don’t take this to heart, it’s just a bit of fun:

Blitzø: You relate a little too hard to Bojack Horseman. You've done a lot of bad things in your life that you bitterly regret, and even though you're trying to be a better person now, you can't escape the feeling that you'll never be able to outrun your past. Regardless of what you did in the past, all you can do is try to be better now, even if you've burned several bridges to a crisp.

Stolas: Sinister gay, life-ruining mean gay. The kind of mean gay who does the most toxic shit to you and then plays the victim when called out.

Stella: Got room for the Jax fans in your little, 'my favorite character got ruined even though they were like that from the start' club? Because you should definitely start making room if you haven’t already. They need it.

Octavia: Your childhood was completely destroyed by your parents' unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce. You can't talk to either of your parents without one of them complaining about the other, and you wish more than anything that you weren't born into a loveless marriage so that you could've had a stable and happy childhood.

Loona: Furry. Need I say more? Because of all of the characters you could've picked, you went for the emo Hellhound. You have a kinky AO3 history and you dream about being stepped on by a goth dommy mommy.

Moxxie: You cling to your significant other because your relationship with them is the only healthy relationship you've ever had in your life. Your family are the worst, and you don't have many friends, on account of the fact that you keep befriending complete and utter jackasses.

Millie: Look, I get it, you love your significant other, and that’s great, but it is ok to have a life outside of them. Get a hobby, or something, IDK.

Fizzarolli: Hurt/comfort is your all-time favorite trope, and you live for romances with happy endings. You dream of finding a rich and powerful man who loves you with all his heart, not because you're a gold-digger, but because you want a classic happy Disney princess ending, and though you haven't found the right man yet, you're certain that you will someday.

Asmodeus: Your significant other thinks that you're way out of their league (And let's face it, you are), despite your repeated attempts to assure them that you love them as they are. Your sex life would make the most hardcore AO3 writer blush like a schoolgirl, and you'd be proud of it.

Beelzebub: Hello, Ke$ha fans! Your favorite music genre is 2010s EDM, and your favorite drink is whatever gets you drunk the fastest. Many people have tried to beat you in a drinking contest, but few have succeeded, and they consider it a great honor, because you have an iron liver, and getting you drunk is no easy task. It's a miracle that you haven't died from alcohol poisoning yet.

Mammon: I know that you've thought about putting $20,000 in a blender, drinking it, and then bragging to everyone that in a few hours, you're going to piss away 20 grand. And for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT DO IT.

Verosika Mayday: You’re still bitter over that one shitty ex of yours, but instead of letting it get you down, you use it as a driving force to become the most successful that you can possibly be. You’re fueled by spite, and you want nothing more than to rub your fame and fortune in the faces of everyone who’s ever wronged you.

Glitz and Glam: You’re a K-pop stan. Like, the most hardcore K-pop stan out there. The kind of K-pop stan that makes other K-pop stans uncomfortable and writes real-person fanfiction about your favorites.

Striker: You have a serious thing for cowboys. I’m talking, Brokeback Mountain is your favorite film, kind of serious. You’re into the brooding, lone ranger type of cowboy.

Andrealphus: You saw him, and you screamed, ‘Elsa birb’. Which, to be fair, that does seem to be what he is. If he gets any songs in the show, you hope that they’ll hit as hard as Let It Go did.

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

You were a member of Blackbeard's crew long ago. Then you became a ghost story. Izzy Hands only sees you in his dreams these days, until he sees you for real when investigating Stede Bonnet. This sets him on a rollercoaster of emotions between you and what his captain is doing.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Swearing. Izzy likes to swear. Buttons is naked. Also I'm pretty sure Izzy makes heart eyes at you without me actually typing out heart eyes.

Chapter Eight - Captain Hands

♡♡♡

The English came aboard the ship and promptly captured every pirate onboard. They cornered some of the crew and tied them up. A naked Buttons runs past you at one point, everything hanging out. You try to blink the image away.

One of the sailors grabs you from behind and takes your hands behind your back. You're then pushed down to the deck, face against the wood.

Edward and Stede are next to each other, looking at one another.

One by one everyone is taking in for questioning. It's only here you learn that this was about the murder of Badminton. You had totally forgotten about that guy.

This was his twin brother.

You're taken back outside with the rest of the crew and left to sit there. It's only then that you realise who else is here. Someone you thought you wouldnt see again.

"Izzy," you whisper, looking at him.

He's looking right at you.

It feels like all the air has been sucked out if your lungs. You've forgotten how to breathe. You don't even realise a tear has formed until it trails down your cheek. It splashes on the deck below, silent and unnoticed by anyone. Anyone except Izzy.

You turn your eyes away from.

Apparently Stede confessed to killing Nigel Badminton. His punishment was death by firing squad. At least it would be quick, you supposed.

Izzy was watching mostly you as Stede and Blackbeard were being given their sentences. He has missed you.

"In the name of His Majesty King George, this tribunal shall come to order. Edward Teach, or Black Beard."

"It's just Blackbeard. Like, just run it together as one word. 'Blackbeard'. Don't have to put a gap in there." Ed spirals on.

"You face death for general crimes of Piracy against the Crown."

"Yeah." Edward agrees.

"But a friend of the Crown has prevailed upon me to remand you to his custody. You shall be released to Captain Hands in exchange for his service to the King."

You turn slowly to see Izzy give Ed a little wave. Oh, now you get it. Izzy had made a deal with these bastards for Edward's protection.

While the crew of the Revenge boo Izzy, you try and find a way to control your breathing.

"Stede Bonnet. For the wanton murder of Nigel Badminton... your sentence is death by firing squad."

"We'll find a way out of this, OK?" Ed says to him.

"Ed, no. I deserve this. At some point in a man's life, he has to face the music." Stede speaks calmly.

Except, when he's up there with his blindfold on, he's screaming about much he doesn't want to die.

You had been cut free and permitted to stand with Blackbeard. One of Izzy's other demands was that you were safe.

You watch Stede with a sad expression.

"Edward... I know you're upset, but it was the only..." Izzy tried to explain himself, but Ed turns and punches Izzy hard. Izzy falls to the deck harshly. At any other time you would help him up, but not today.

The crew applaud what they just saw.

"Oh... that's fair." Izzy grunts as he stands up and brushes his hair back again. "Remember, though. You said when you made me first mate, 'Above all else is loyalty to your Captain.'"

"Rifles at the ready!" Chauncey orders.

"You're my captain, and I was never gonna stand by and let you destroy yourself for that... twat. And this, this is a humane way of ending it."

"Aim!"

"It's quick. It's clean. Edward you KNOW that." Izzy is basically pleading with him.

"Act of Grace!" Blackbeard calls out.

"No... No."

"Act of Grace!" Edward stands in front of Stede. Izzy looks defeated. "Act of Grace!"

The crew shout for Stede to say it too. "Say it! Act of Grace!"

"What he said!" Stede calls out.

Edward removes the blindfold from Stede.

"Fuck me," Chauncey mutters.

Edward explains the Act of Grace to Stede.

"So, you want to go to war for the King?" Chauncey asks them.

"We'd rather eat our own faces, but, yes." Edward replies to him.

"Two acts of Grace, please." Stede pleads.

"Ah. I'm afraid the offer doesn't extend to you, Bonnet. After, the King was only referring to real pirates. He turns to Edward, "He's from my world, not yours."

"Raise your rifles!"

"June 3rd. An excellent day!" Lucius stands up with Stede's diary in his hands, reading from it. "Raided a commercial vessel after overwhelming the hardy crew. We claimed a prize of lush vegetation in conquest." Lucius turns around to show a drawing of the plant.

Oluwande holds the plant up. "And here's the vegetation in question."

"They'll never forget the Eccentric Pirate Bonnet and his savage, insane, vengeful pirate horde." Lucius closes the book. "See? He's a pirate. a real, proper pirate."

"That man is a fearsome pirate if e'er I seen one." Buttons joins in.

The rest of the crew begin to agree. Stede looks proudly at them.

"Well, rule-of-law-wise, I'd say that settle it." One of the Navy officers says.

"A plant and a drawing?" Chauncey asks. "Settles nothing."

"It's enough for us. Blackbeard renounces piracy to serve the Crown? We'll be dining with Ol' King George himself."

"Why?" Chauncey asks the crew. "Why do you all show such loyalty to this... this... nothing?"

"I'd attribute quite a lot of it to a people-positive management style," Stede says.

Chauncey draws his sword. "Shut up!"

"Stand down, Admiral." He is warned. "Or will be forced to use measures."

"Measures? Against me?! He's the criminal!" Chauncey says, waving his sword about at Stede. "He's the murderer!"

"All right! Calm down, Mr Wavy Blade." Says Stede. "Chauncey! Sometimes, when we get a bit angry, do you know what we like to do? We talk it through."

"As a crew!" The others join in.

You smile from where you stand. Izzy notices.

"Oh, I know. I know what's happened. Yeah, we've somehow drifted south of the equator, and ended up in Backwardsland!"

Chauncey is promptly restrained.

You laugh softly. Izzy can't seem to keep his eyes off of you.

♡♡♡

Edward and Stede are taken into the captain's quarter to sign the contract for the Act of Grace. Izzy is in there with them.

You're sat on deck looking out at the sea.

It isn't long until the Navy retreat, taking Stede and Edward with them. You watch them go. Edward looks at you before leaving the ship.

That's how you know Izzy is standing behind you. You refuse to look at him.

Stede and Edward have gone.

Izzy opens his mouth to speak, but you're already pushing past him to walk away. He calls your name but you don't stop. He sighs as he watches you go.

♡♡♡

While Izzy sets things his way on the Revenge, by getting the crew in order and showing his leadership, you sulk down in his old cabin.

Since he's captain now, he won't want this old room back. You curl up on his bed and hide your face in the crook of your arms. It has been a long day.

You're not sure how much time has passed, but eventually your solitude is interrupted.

"Thought I might find you here."

You don't look up. You don't move an inch.

"You not gonna look at me?"

You remain still.

You hear Izzy sigh and he walks across the small cabin toward the desk. You hear him put something down, the item hiding gently against the wood. You can tell from the light rustling sound that he stands there for a moment before leaving again.

You look up once you're sure he's gone. Your eyes are drawn to the desk. Sitting there, just as you remembered it, was the wooden sparrow you whittled for Izzy.

Another tear escapes your eye.

♡♡♡

Izzy works the crew hard, all while not lifting a finger for himself. He throws round orders and makes sure every man onboard does his job. He states he's tough, but he's also fair

The crew still hate him.

They don't hate you, however.

Lucius finds you sulking away. He was sent to grab something for Izzy, but he decided today least check in on you.

"Dizzy Izzy confining you?" He asks, half joking.

You look up at him and sigh through your nose.

"What's he doing?" You ask.

"Ordering is around."

"Course he is."

Lucius frowns as he looks at you. "Thought you might be glad he was back, despite literally everything else."

"Would be had he not sold us out to the Navy and pushed Ed enough to go serve the King."

"He sucks, for the record."

"Yeah. He's a dick."

Lucius and you share a smile. The moment is only broken by the yell of "SPRIGGS." Lucius bolts out of the cabin to reach Izzy before he gets mad.

You return to sulking.

♡♡♡

As evening draws in and the crew go about their business, you come up to deck for some air. You hold the wooden sparrow in your hand as you rest against the railing of the ship. The breeze is a bit chilly tonight, but you don't mind it much.

You've become aware of when he's nearby. It's like you have a sixth sense for Izzy Hands.

"You'll catch a chill up here."

You do nothing but hum quietly in response, turning the sparrow around in your hand carefully.

"At least talk to me."

You keep twirling the sparrow.

Izzy shifts his weight to one leg as he stares at you. You can't see the pleading look in his eyes, at how desperate he is get you to look at him.

"I did this for us, you know. Edward was never supposed to do what he did. He wasn't even supposed to be on the ship... Jack was meant to take you and Edward with him."

"You sent Calico fucking Jack to get us?" You ask, hissing the question out. You still refuse to look at him.

Happy that you're at least talking to him, Izzy goes on.

"I wanted you safe. Safe with me. We could have had Blackbeard back. We could have been a crew again. No more Bonnet. No more ghosts. Just us and the sea."

You inhale sharply. Izzy realises in that moment that you're upset. He wants so desperately to reach out and hold you.

"Safe? No one is ever safe, Izzy."

You drop the sparrow and it falls down into the waves below. You grip the railing of the ship, knuckles turning white as you lean against it.

"I should have stayed dead. Maybe none of this would have happened," you say softly.

"Don't say that. Don't ever fucking say that." Izzy takes a step forward.

"You left me, Izzy!" You turn sharply and glare at him. "You bastard! You left me behind over some stupid fucking duel and then sold us out!"

You lunge forward and smack Izzy across the chest. He tries to block your attacks, but not with much effort. Izzy wants you to let your anger out on him.

"You bastard! You fucking idiot! Why? Why do any of it? Why did you leave me?" You cry out.

"What choice did I have?" He asks, still blocking your attacks.

"You could have stayed! We could worked something out! Anything. We could have done anything! At least we would have done it together."

"I offered you to come with me," he says softly.

"No!" You yell. You stop hitting him and glare at him. "We belong out at sea. That's our home. We made a promise once, do you remember? A promise to stick together and explore the world. Well, fuck that promise I guess!"

He says your name softly.

"No, Izzy. You betrayed me twice. You left me and then sold us out. How can I ever forgive you?"

He falls silent as he looks at you.

You push past him and walk away again. Izzy is left standing there, looking at the sea.

♡♡♡

Izzy wasn't ready to give up on you. Not now. Not ever.

He waited an hour or so before coming down to the cabin. His old cabin. It warmed his heart to discover you had taken it as your own. He knew you missed him just as much as he missed you.

"Leave me alone," you mumble.

"No."

You sigh as you sit up on the bed. "What do you want from me? Want me to scrub the deck? Shine your boots? Worship you?"

Izzy frowns. "No. None of that."

"Then what?"

"I want... I want us to talk it through."

You look at him silently, and then start to chuckle softly. "Talk it through? Now you want to talk it through. What? Like a crew?"

"Like friends."

"Oh, so we're still friends are we?" You scoff.

"Never stopped, at least on my end."

"Well it did on mine."

Izzy stands there staring at you. His eyes are soft and there is something about this posture that feels wrong. Not in a sense that he would do something to you, but like something that doesn't belong there. He's standing wrong.

"What is it, Izzy?"

"I fucking missed you, ya know."

"Did you?" You ask flatly.

"Yeah, I did."

You take a deep breath and calm your mind. You let most of your anger put on him up on deck, so the least you can do is be civil. Your choices were limited.

"I'm sorry about the sparrow. I, uh, I appreciate that you took it with you."

Izzy almost smiles. "Couldn't leave it behind."

"I'll have to make you a new one."

"Only if you forgive me."

"Maybe not then," you sigh.

"Do you hate me?" He asks.

There's a few moments of silence that pass that make him believe that the answer is probably yes. You have every reason to, he supposes. He left. Then Edward, for a moment.

You have every right to be upset.

"No."

Izzy finds his whole body relaxing from that word alone. Relief floods his heart and his lips actually do curl into a gentle smile for once.

"Good. Pretty sure the crew do, but I can live with that. I can't live with you hating me, though."

You meets his eyes and suddenly feel lighter. You never thought a simple gaze could take away so much heartache and pain.

"Pretty sure they're planning a mutiny. They tried once with Stede."

"Fuck."

"You are a bit of a dick, though, Izzy."

He looks at you with a faux sense of betrayal in his eyes. You chuckle softly, but know that the crew would most likely throw him off the ship.

"I'll see what I can do."

Izzy smiles gratefully before leaving. He has said his peace and for now that's enough. He bids you goodnight as he goes.

"Goodnight, Izzy."

♡♡♡

Yeah, the next morning the crew planned a mutiny. Izzy was promptly tied up.

"You said you'd see what you could do." Izzy looks at you, fire beginning to burn in his eyes. He kind of felt betrayed.

"Yeah, I tried. I talked to them for hours. They are adamant on throwing you off this ship." You tell him, looking at him firmly.

"You're just going to let them?"

You keep your eyes on him. "Yeah."

"If this is about leaving you-"

"Izzy, no, no. It's not like that." You raise your hands. Izzy furrows his brows. There's rope around your wrists.

"What?" He asks softly.

"I said, if they wanted to throw you overboard, they would have to throw me too. Or I'd kill them all in their sleep."

Izzy states at you.

You give a smile

"You...? You told them to banish you too?"

"Yeah. Either you stay, or we both go together."

Izzy is at a loss for words.

The crew come over and picked him up. He pleads with them to change their minds. He will listen and make changes. He will do what they wanted him to.

He wanted to stay on this ship with you. You shouldn't banish yourself for him. He had no idea you would go so far.

Did this mean you had forgiven him?

He looks at you, head bent as far back as it could go to look at you. You stand there and smile at him. God, why are you smiling? You can't be this happy to be mutinied with him.

"One!" The crew start to count.

"No! No! No!" Izzy pleads.

"Two!"

Izzy looks back at you again.

"Three!" "Hold it!" Pete stops them.

Everyone turns to find Blackbeard unexpectedly climbing onboard the ship. You stare at him confused.

"Izzy... I'll take tea in my room." Ed says, walking past everyone.

Everyone just stares.

Izzy is put down.

"What happened to his beard?" Roach asks.

You turn back around to Izzy and bring his attention to you as you work on undoing his restaints. He stares at you as you do so. You look at him and then back at his hands. Once his hands are free he reaches out and gently holds yours.

"You were really gonna do it?" He asks.

"Yeah," you say softly. "I was gonna do it."

Izzy really wanted to kiss you.

"Why?"

"For the same reason Edward protected Stede."

Izzy looks confused.

"Forget it."

All Izzy Hands can do is look at you. He untied your wrists and Olu sees to it both of your feet are intied too.

Izzy's heart was racing.

He wondered, did you mean what he thought you meant?

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana -

[holymountdias]

Love Triangle pt.3

Erling Haaland x (fem) reader x Jadon Sancho

Summary: A past relationship of yours broke you to the point that you weren't being yourself anymore, but what happens when your ex's best friend takes interest in you and he helps you take revenge ? Will it all just be a game for you or become more than friends ?

Word count: 5k

Notes: smut, angst, fluff

PARTS: 1.0 2.0 3.0

The fun at the party is simply getting better and better. Since your little body shots game with Jadon, he hasn't left your side much; only when he needed to deal with some party issues, and then he immediately returned to you. What you've seen is that he likes to keep you near and touch you, as if he's scared you'll be snatched at any minute. He generally has at least one of his arms wrapped around you or attempts to pull your face close, tormenting you by pretending to kiss you but then turning towards your ear to say something to you. At that moment, you don't care what he's saying since your pulse is racing from all the excitement and you're too buzzed to pay attention. It becomes worse when he gently massages your waist or the top of your thigh while you sit on his lap.

You're not used to it. Receiving this type of attention from someone in public is something you've always desired but never received. Who would have guessed that the person who would provide you that opportunity would be someone like Jadon?

If you were sober enough to consider how you both acted towards one other, drawing all eyes in the room to you, you don't know if you'd be able to live with it and all the implications. But you don't care right now; it's the first time in a long time, but you're having true fun and may have even caught a superb player for yourself. Most importantly, someone who is not afraid of the attraction between you, which helps you feel more confident in your decision.

Nonetheless, one thing you despise is how you find yourself occasionally glancing towards Erling, which only adds to your confusion and frustration. You understand that the purpose of your actions is to make him jealous and to prove something to him, but is that all? Is it only payback on your mind, or could it be something more...No way are you going to slip into this emotional labyrinth. You're done, no fuck this, you WERE done the moment you ended things with him, and you're not going to allow whatever remains of that fake shit destroy your enjoyable time.

His glares continue to burn holes in you and Jadon, as if he is ready to attack the both of you, especially Jadon since he is the one who is getting all touchy with you. You sneaked glances whenever you made sure his attention was diverted to his circle of friends so he wouldn't see you since you definitely didn't want to give him that gratification. His body language appears hostile as he is drinking and bringing his glass down on the counter with force, which honestly shocks you given how many times he has broken it.

You're not concerned about his act, since you know from firsthand experience that he hasn't previously and will never be open about his emotions for you in a room full of people from his social circle. He can act as disturbed as he wants, but you already know the reality. Finally, you decided not to waste any more time on him and instead focus on the birthday boy, who is currently conversing with Marcus and some other footballers. His arms are holding you from behind, and your back is resting comfortably on his chest.

Your head snaps as you hear your favourite music begin to play.

"Would anyone like to go dancing?" Jadon's low voice pierces your ear, and you smile at his excellent assessment. You spin around to face him, your heart pounding with excitement.

"Is that an invitation?"

"only if it's with you," his statement causes you to bite your lower lip to keep from smiling too much before taking his hand in yours to steer deeper into the swarm of bodies dancing.

As soon as you find your place on the dance floor, his hands move to your hips, carefully stroking them, just to be dragged into his front. You close your eyes and move to the beats of the song, as well as the delicate yet seductive touches of the man behind you. While grinding your ass against Jadon’s crotch, your hands swim along your body, feeling yourself. The act instantly prompts him to tighten his grasp on you while his face leans lower next to yours.

"You know you're killing me, right?" you smirk with satisfaction. You can feel how your movements influence his lower body, and you can't pretend that it's one-sided as Jadon alone can determine how wet you are by rubbing his fingers against your underwear. Both of you are turned on, and you are about to abandon everything to bring him back to your place and fuck him. God was the only one who knew how badly you want that.

Everyone reacts when all of the lights are gradually turned off and the music stops. A second later, a separate set of lights is turned on, providing a wonderful warm atmosphere within the club, while a group of people bearing a large cake with many candles on it appears to be approaching towards you and Jadon.

Obviously, you attempt to move away from Jadon to give him room while singing the birthday song with everyone else, but he refuses to let go. Instead, he throws his arm around your waist and keeps you with him the entire time. Shocked and flustered are among the least things you'd describe yourself as feeling at the time, yet in order to avoid further attention, you maintain your cheerful expression and smile.

Everyone, including you, cheers and applauds as the candles are blown out, but you are stunned once again by Jadon pressing you up against him just to kiss you on the cheek in front of everyone, all eyes on you. Your eyes widen as a result of his rapid behavior, and you can feel your face heating up as a result of all the shyness that consumes you.

The music is finally turned back on, and everyone dissipates to resume their former activities. You refuse to raise your gaze, knowing full well that there are still eyes on you, especially after Jadon's display of affection for you. You notice his face leaning above your shoulder and tilt your head to meet it.

"Do you want to know what I wished for?" he asks, maintaining his hand on your jawline and staying a close distance from your face.

You completely spin around to face his front whilst keeping eye contact and encircling your arms behind his neck.

"You do realize it's not going to happen if you say it, right?" You notice him smirking at your response and raising his hand to cup your face.

"Hmm...I don't know, I think my chances are pretty good," his playful comment makes you giggle, and you decide to play along.

"How are you so sure about it?" you question back bluntly, noting how his gaze darkens.

"Because I have been feeling you all night, baby, and I know you like it, don't you?" You fail to trust your own words after this, knowing full well that you will moan. Then he gently moves his face near to your ear as his hands compel your bodies to meet entirely.

"Come on, say it, baby girl. I’m gonna make you feel so good, you only need to say the word.” His statements are meant only to turn you on more. Your mind immediately fills with sensual thoughts, and your eyes close as his breath brushes against your skin.

One of your hands tries to slide down his chest, almost desperate to feel more of him, but you know it's not enough, and all you need to tell him is that for him to give you the release you are looking for. Something within you, though, makes you hesitate to respond positively, which bothers you terribly. You are obviously drawn to him, Jadon is definitely attracted to you, and he has clearly offered you a good time, so what's the problem?

“fuck Jadon i-”

You feel something liquid soak your shoulder down to the edge of your dress as you are abruptly shoved from the side. You let out a frantic gasp, taken off guard, as Jadon's grasp tightened on your hips to keep you from losing balance. You both turn your heads to greet the guy who interrupted you and destroyed your outfit, and you can't help but laugh at the irony.

It is the girl from the restroom who vented about Erling ghosting her, but she of course wasn't alone.

"Erlinggg, be careful, I just spilled my drink" her unpleasant whiny tone just makes you want to slap her even more after the incident.

"Yeah on fucking me," you speak with obvious rage in your voice as you stare at the both of them.

"Oops," she says cheerfully and without remorse. Erling is simply standing there with a tiny smile on his face, and that was just the icing on the cake for you.

"Halaand, make sure you teach your mop how to wet the floor, or better throw it away; I'm sure you have plenty of others to replace it with." You snap at him, forcing him and the girl to narrow their eyes. The girl is about to answer, but you don't give her time as you glance at Jadon and murmur a brief "I will be back" before heading out the bathroom.

When you enter the room, you are happy to see that no one is present since you would be humiliated to have to clean yourself in front of others. You quickly begin to repair yourself using water from one of the sinks and plenty of toilet paper.

You are furious with Erling; you believe he did it on purpose, which irritates you. He has no right to try to interject himself or ruin your enjoyment because he is envious or anything. On the one hand, you're pleased of making him feel that way, and it's one of the reasons you landed up at the party in the first place, but pulling jealousy acts like that on you after what he's done was outrageous. You are aware of his jealously tendencies, but you never expected him to be so petty.

Why bother caring in the first place when he was the one who ruined all you two had?

At the end of the day, you don't want to think about what’s her name either, since you've been very familiar with those girls and their nasty attitude due to your brother's environment, and you've had no problem standing up against them whenever the circumstances called for it. But, my God, the fact that she's involved with Erling irritates you and makes you low key envious, but you're not going to admit it to yourself.

You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn't see the person entering the bathroom or the click of the door locking.

"What do you think you're doing with Jadon?" Erling appears beside you, and you place your palms over your heart, taken off guard.

"Oh my God, what the hell are you doing here, it's the women's bathroom!" you shout quietly to avoid being heard outside the room.

"I fucking locked the door, no one will bother, answer the damn question."

He argues back, forcing you to narrow your eyes at him.

"What is it to you that I do with Jadon?"

"Because you're using him to get revenge on me." He has the audacity to call you out.

"Would you like to talk about revenge? How about that stunt you pulled with the bimbo?" You battled back, becoming increasingly irritated by his behaviour. He doesn't say anything else or try to make excuses for what happened; he knows you can see straight through him. In annoyance, he lets out a deep sigh and rubs the bridge of his nose.

"I have every right to know if it involves my ex and best friend," he says, raising his eyes once again.

"Oh, so I'm your ex now? I thought you mentioned me to your buddies as one of your one-night stands?" While folding your arms across your chest, you raise an eyebrow in questioning.

"We both agreed not to make it public, and you are aware of that."

"Then I'm sure you know that being in a relationship with someone doesn't involve any third parties, but you didn't seem to have an issue skipping over that part, did you?"

"I made a mistake and-"

"It sounded like more than a mistake," you say, and he appears to have become even more upset as it turned out. After he sighed, the tension went up drastically.

“Do you want to know the truth? Fine. It was only one time, and I understand I have no excuses, but all the guys were trying to link me up with girls because they were suspicious of the fact that I didn't want to do anything with any other girl. We got really drunk one night, and they ended up matching me with a random woman from the bar we ended up at once. We didn’t go all the way though as soon as i realized that it’s not you i pushed her away. I felt awful about it right away since I really wanted to be serious with you. Whatever ridiculous things I'd say to the boys were solely to cover us up." he adds as he walks closer to you, causing you to take steps back to maintain the gap; however you eventually hit the wall behind you, leaving your efforts useless.

"Is that supposed to make things better? because it doesn't, and it simply points to whatever we had ended because of you, so don't come interrogating me about what I'm doing with Jadon." Hearing his remarks makes you almost tear up. It's one thing to learn about it through his discussions with others, and quite another to hear him admit it to you. It's as if you went back in time and are now reliving the night you discovered the truth. He has now trapped you against the wall, with both arms on either side of you.

"Yes, I will because you are still important to me." His voice rises with intensity as he says it, looking deep into your eyes before shifting his sight lower to your lips for a second.

"I didn't want our relationship to end, but when it did, I tried to get over it and couldn't. Every time I had, I'd sleep with a new woman to convince myself that in the end, you meant nothing, but it's not fucking true, and I can't accept seeing you get all cozy with anyone else if it's not me."

"I like Jadon"

All of a sudden one arm wraps around your waist, while the other grasps your face, smashing your lips together. Your breath is instantly caught in your throat, and your eyes widen in surprise; you try to stop him by pushing your hands against his hard chest, but he is stronger than you as he deepens the kiss forcing you to finally give into it and kiss him back. While you lock your arms around his neck, he lets his hands wander down to your hips and legs before effortlessly pulling you up and bringing you onto the bathroom counter.

His lips are so smooth on yours and his his lips feel so amazing on yours, and his way of kissing you leaves you breathless as he moves his tongue with such dominance. You missed this...you missed him.

The feeling of his body pressing against you again gives you an unexplainable sense of relief and your heart pounds in your chest. Your fingers dance in his knotted hair, and your legs hang open from the counter with him standing in between them. His hands are teasing  you by caressing your nude thighs and slowly approaching your center. Your body instinctively responds by providing him extra space with your legs, allowing him to have a better peek under your dress.

"Who is this for, baby; who made you so wet?"

He lets out a satisfied groan as he runs his fingers over your drenched thong, feeling how wet it is. You hesitate to respond, knowing it will only create problems, but your chin gets caught before you realize it, urging your closed eyes to meet his passionate stare.

"I asked you a question," his tone conveys control, and you immediately respond.

"Jadon," his brow furrows in displeasure but gradually transforms into an evil sneer.

"Let's change that," his lips sink down your neck, sucking and kissing all your sensitive parts, prompting you to groan and your hands to tighten around him. Your legs tremble with excitement for what is about to come.

Suddenly, he takes your arms and tugs them behind your back. "Keep them there," he warns you gently but the rough tone of his voice prickling at your ear, causes your breathing to become heavy. One of his hands moves beneath your dress, between your spread legs, towards your wet clothed center once more. His fingers pull down the top of your thong, while the other taps your ass twice, urging you to lift your hips.

Then you feel the little piece of clothes sliding down your legs while your dress rises to rest about your waist. The coldness of the surface underneath you causes goosebumps all over your body. It makes you clench around nothing alongside turning you on even more. While his fingers slowly rubbed on your wet clit, your lower half arches towards his muscular torso, desperate to feel more.

"Please," you plead him softly as you open your eyes to completely gaze at him. You honestly don't know what exactly you're pleading for. Maybe it's his fingers, his tongue, or perhaps, his big thick cock that always helped you reach a new level of high, or maybe it's everything that includes him on you while his words scream for you to fantasize and feel more of him.You want him and you know you're going to blame yourself later for it, but you don't care right now. Your body is hungry enough to disregard all rationality in your head.

"Tell me what you want, baby," he says calmly. Your head bends backwards to rest on the mirror behind you as you feel the influence of his fingers on your core, giving him a greater view of your body. Your words trails off as one of his fingers pushes inside you; his free hand now glides from your thigh to your waist, forcing your dress to rise even higher. His chest rumbles and he lets out an animalistic howl as he sees more of your nakedness.

"Fuck, tell me what you want, baby" His voice is deeper than before, which drives you crazy even more as he slips two more fingers into your tightened walls. You're struggling to keep your hands where he wants them right now because all you want to do is touch him, run your hands across his chest, and feel all of him against you.

As your hands try to grasp the surface behind you, you mutter his name. "I want to touch you," you reply. He just smirks at you before leaning closer until his face is only a few inches away from yours; his curious hand has now switched over to grip your hands, ensuring you stay place.

"Do you think you deserve it, hmm?" he asks, cupping your jaw and dragging your gaze to his.

"Have you been a good little girl?" You can only nod eagerly in answer.

You can only nod eagerly in answer, hoping that this would be enough to convince him.

"Nah baby, I don't think you were," he says smugly, since he loved to punish you in any way he could, but you whimpered in protest. You're wet down there, and the sound of your wetness being pushed by his long fingers makes you feel filthy, but you love it, and he does as well. His secret addiction is the way your body reacts and responds to his hands. His fingers slide back up to your clit and softly circle it, causing you to move your hips into him.

There were plenty of times when he would think about you to get himself off, or even if he wasn't alone, his mind would return to memories of you, how beautiful you looked under him and how perfectly you took him in every way you both desired. You're grinding faster and harder, a pout forming on your face as you feel yourself approaching your climax. "Fuck, Erling yes, yes" 

“Come for me baby” his mouth dips to your ear to murmur, and your body quickly obeys his words on its own. You exhale a gasp as you reach your climax, your eyes rolling in the back, and one of your hands quickly moves to grasp his muscular arm.

You can still feel his fingers rubbing over your clit, which only creates little jerks to your body as you become overstimulated. Your silky walls continue to throb from your high, still in need of being filled. Your awareness returns to reality as you listen to his strong breathing next to you and lean against his torso. His head swings between the area where your neck meets your shoulder and begins to trace gentle kisses on your skin; his other hand, which was clutching your arms, is now tenderly caressing your hand.

When you've calmed down, you sift your posture back as he takes a step back to give you some space. You hesitate to look at him, afraid about what is going to happen after this. You start fixing your dress and you hair before you proceed to get off of the counter. Your stability seems to betray you though and you are about to fall down but Erling is fast enough to prevent that. As he holds by you waist he helps you steady yourself while maintaining a careful gaze on you.

You avoid looking him in the eyes once again worrying that you are going to end up crying in his arms and hate yourself even more since reality started hitting you. You are feeling so guilty and so lost at the same time. You didn’t know how to handle the situation but the only thing that keeps ringing in your mind is that you need to leave and fast.

As soon as you are back on your feet you push back his arms and resume to your efforts of making yourself seem somewhat presentable again. Several minutes pass by where you both say nothing; only difference is that he is still observing you and perhaps expecting you to talk to him but you know better than to start something unending. After you have cleaned yourself , you check yourself out once last time and you are glad to see no evidence of his kisses on your skin so you proceed to leave the room but the call of your name stops you on your tracks.

“We need to talk” he says and thats when you finally turn around to look at him. His face is covered by a slight frown, bothered by your avoidance towards him; meanwhile you are angry and frustrated with your behaviour. There were a million of other scenarios about how this night could turn out and you chose the most ridiculous one.

“It was a mistake Erling, there is nothing to talk about. You go back to your side chicks and i go on with my life” you hold a serious expression as you talk to him with determination on your voice which doesn’t go unnoticed by him but you get curious when you hear him chuckling while looking downwards. You raise your brow in question before you ask him what he is laughing for.

“You are never going to forgive me are you?” he asks you back instead and then his frowned gaze meets yours. Your eyes narrow at him, trying to detect any lie in this sad painful expression that he holds and to your surprise you find none; but you are not the one to believe him, not anymore. How is he still bothered over your break up?

You are definitely not over it and you proved that just a few minutes ago but how is he not? Especially since he cheated you would have expected him to have moved on to the next girl. Regardless of him being drunk or not when it happened, it still hurt.

Where you supposed to die with anxiety every time he would go out with his friends, praying that he doesn’t get drunk to the point of being with someone else? You are not willing to go down that road. You had agreed on dating secretly, wanting to be understanding and look where it got you.

You refuse to give him an answer or continue this unending conversation so you turn around to leave once again. You have just unlocked the door when you hear him call your name trying to get your attention back but you ignore him and finally open the door. As you exit the room you walk fast through the people inside the club wanting to get to the main entrance to leave. Your guiltiness is eating you up thinking about Jadon, you decide that you will have to text him about having left since you didn’t have the guts to face him right now.

On your way you hear your name being called from behind but assuming that its Erling, you ignore it and keep on walking. Once you have finally gotten yourself out of the club you feel a cold breeze of fresh air hit you and you exhale loudly, feeling like you can breath again. Wasting no more time you take your phone out to text your friend to come pick you up and thankfully she is quick enough to text you back telling you that she is on her way.

You let out another sigh, your chest feeling heavy from all the build up emotion. You want to cry, scream, anything to get rid of the frustration that is inside you, still in disbelief for what you did. You mind immediately goes back to Jadon and as you are about to text him, you hear your name being called and this time you turn around to face the person. Expecting it to be Erling you are ready to lash out and tell him to leave you alone but you surprised when you see Jadon instead.

“Not even a goodbye?” he teases you as he nears you to stand in front of you. He has he hands dipped inside his pockets as he looks at you with that playful smirk on his face.

“Jadon i-i am sorry, i was about to text you about leaving because something happene-“

“It’s Erling, isn’t it?” he interrupts you and you are immediately shocked by his words. You feel your stomach twist up as you think about him knowing what happened. Did he see you? or worse heard you while being in the bathroom? You are loss of words and after catching your hesitance in your expression he decides to speak up again.

“Look if there is something going on betwe-”

“No there isn’t, i promise, its just complicated” the words rush out of your mouth before you can control them and you are honestly ready to explain everything to him right then and there but you are so overwhelmed that you feel as if you are about to cry. He nods along to your words and you are about to talk again but he stops you.

“I had fun with you tonight and I don’t know what happened between you two in the bathroom but you are obviously upset by him and i-” he doesn’t get to finish his sentence since he gets disrupted by a strong voice which catches both of your attention.

“Y/N” you see Erling shouting for you while standing right outside the entrance of the club. As soon as both of your gazes meet his expression softens but quickly switches to a glaring one when he notices Jadon with you. He nears you both and you close your eyes for a minute feeling yourself about to burst out.

"We didn't finish our conversation" He refers to you at first before he glances at Jadon besides him. "And what the fuck is he doing here again? What’s your deal with her huh?" he questions him with a threatening tone while stepping closer to him, enough until their chest almost meet.

Their height difference gives Erling the advantage to tower over him intimidatingly as he is glaring at him. His posture and behavior gives you the hint that he is ready to start a fight, but Jadon doesn’t seem to mind at all as he returns the same angry expression to him, indicating that he is not willing to back out either. The surprise comes when Jadon finally reacts by pushing Erling off of him.

"She isn't fucking yours so how about you leave her alone!" Jadon loudly protests and your eyes widen in shock by his action; knowing that a fight is about to start you move quickly in front of Erling in effort to put stop to it. His glare only looked more hateful after his supposedly best friend's move towards him and he would go up against him if it wasn't for your gentle hands to stop him from acting upon his thoughts.

"Erling you need to leave” you tell him seriously and at first he doesn’t respond nor looks at you but continues to threaten Jadon with his gaze.

When he finally shifts his eyesight to you, you notice how his eyes slightly soften over his frowned expression which instantly makes your heart melt but you refuse to allow any other emotion cross your face at this moment. After he holds eye contact with you for a minute or so he closes his eyes for a second and rubs his face with his hand as he looks anywhere but you.

“I’m not done with you” he tells you seriously after returning his focus back on you and you only nod at him as he finally steps back to leave but not before he gives another threatening look at Jadon.

You slowly turn around face Jadon and your mentally exhaustion already covers your face causing him to frown at you worriedly. He doesn’t get the chance to speak up as a horn behind you is heard and you both turn to look at your best friend inside her car. You give Jadon an apologizing look and quietly mutter to him that you’ve got to go. He nods at you in response and wishes you goodbye as he watches you enter the passenger seat and disappear inside the car.

[dizzywhims]

By chance is there is a version of your Sour Legacy Challenge rules that is text only? I’m visually impaired and my screen reader does not work well with the graphic format. The DX is a recent thing — happened during the pandemic and worsened since — so I’m new to accessibility options on my tablet/computer. I’m tech savvy, but this is a whole different world to me now and I feel bad asking, but I don’t have anyone to translate/type out things for me. Much thanks xx

Ah, I'll type it out here! Next time I make a challenge I'll keep that in mind. Have a good one!

Sour Legacy Challenge

Summary: They say trauma is cyclical and fame is fleeting. So how will one homeless, heartbroken 17-year-old with a dream affect the next 10 generations to come?

Guidelines:

Play on whichever lifespan suits your gameplay style. I'll be using Simkhira's lifespans so I can take my time with each generation. If you want a real challenge, stick to normal.

Your heirs can be whatever gender you please. Feel free to set your own heir rules, just make sure to prioritize the generational goals first.

You can sign off on each generation once you fulfill the aspiration(s), reach the top level of the career, master all the required skills, complete all the generational goals and have the next heir reach Young Adulthood (YA).

Build a graveyard where all the heirs of the legacy will rest. Keep their ghosts alive and complete the Sugar Skull collection by the end of the challenge in remembrance of them.

Zero: Brutal

Summary: God it's brutal out here. You're 17, you're dropping out of high school and you've found yourself completely on your own with one dream: become a pop star.

Aspiration(s): Musical Genius

Traits: Gloomy, Music Lover, Self-Assured

Career(s): Pop Star

Skills: Guitar, Piano, Singing

Generational goals: Start as a teenager with $100 and a guitar. Make two best friends. Drop out of school when you're a B-lister. Reach global superstardom.

One: Traitor

Summary: As the child of a teenage pop star, you're life is as glamorous as it is chaotic. You're used to being loved. But, will anyone ever be in love with you?

Aspiration(s): Serial Romantic

Traits: Romantic, Insider, Self-Absorbed

Career(s): Trendsetter

Skills: Charisma, Photography, Writing

Generational goals: Have negative relationships with all your exes. Elope, have a child with, and divorce a noncommittal sim all within two weeks.

Two: Driver's License

Summary: Your bff's house was your sanctuary from a parent with a revolving door of partners. You're not sure you'll be good at it, but a secure family of your own is all you crave.

Aspiration(s): Big Happy Family

Traits: Family-Oriented, Maker, Perfectionist

Career(s): Plopsy Seller

Skills: Parenting and any two skills related to your Plopsy business

Generational goals: Live in the suburbs your entire life. Date and break up with your childhood bff as a teen, and then marry them as a Young Adult. Have a dramatic divorce before your children grow up.

Three: 1 Step Forward, 3 Steps Back

Summary: Your parents divorce destroyed your idyllic childhood. You move as far away as you can the second you're old enough and vow to never be like them...

Aspiration(s): Mt. Komorebi Sightseer and Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Traits: Adventurous, Loves Outdoors, Bro

Career(s): Part-Time Barista

Skills: Rock Climbing, Snowboarding

Generational goals: Love a hot-headed sim with 1+ other bad traits. Have their kid but never marry them. Keep a close relationship with your siblings but not your parents. Complete the Simmies collection.

Four: Deja Vu

Summary: You're great at pretend. Especially pretending that one parent isn't crazy and the other doesn't love the slopes more than you. Might as well make a career out of it.

Aspiration(s): Master Actor/Actress

Traits: Ambitious, Foodie, Childish

Career(s): Actor/Actress

Skills: Acting, Dancing, Fitness

Generational goals: Live in Del Sol Valley. Marry one famous actor/actress and become enemies with another. Have a child that is a celebrity with a bad reputation.

Five: Good 4 U

Summary: Child stardom often comes at a price, no matter who your parents are. You bunker down in the desert where the people act strange, but at least they don't hate you.

Aspiration(s): Villainous Valentine and Strangerville Mystery

Traits: Lazy, Hot-Headed, Noncommittal

Career(s): Job Hopper (meaning you just switch jobs often)

Skills: Video Gaming, Juice Fizzing

Generational goals: Have a bad reputation and lose all childhood stardom by YA. Have children from multiple failed relationships. Never hold down the same job for longer than a season.

Six: Enough For You

Summary: Self-sufficiency was how you dealt with a deadbeat parent. You strive to be nothing like them and you work hard to achieve that. But will it ever be enough?

Aspiration(s): Renaissance Sim

Traits: Geek, Neat, Proper

Career(s): Have 3 different careers over time, but get to Level 10 in 1

Skills: Follow the aspiration guidelines for skills (since you have to develop so many for Renaissance Sim)

Generational goals: Earn 2 or more college degrees. Adopt 1 child and make them an A student w/high responsibility and low emotional control. Complete snow globes and postcards collections.

Seven: Happier

Summary: In your adoptive home, emotions were weakness. Now you struggle to keep your head on straight, and all you want is a peaceful life surrounded by furry friends.

Aspiration(s): Friend of the Animals and Country Caretaker

Traits: Loner, Erratic, Animal Enthusiast

Career(s): Animal Farmer (not official, just make your money through animal farming)

Skills: Pet Training and Fishing

Generational goals: Only make money through animal related activities. Marry a local in Henford-on-Bagley. Complete the feathers and village fair ribbons collections.

Eight: Jealousy, Jealousy

Summary: Being a farm kid is great... until kids at school ostracize you for it. All you want is a new persona so that no one ever finds out that your childhood bff was a llama.

Aspiration(s): Party Animal and Mansion Baron

Traits: Jealous, Materialistic, High Maintenance

Career(s): Vlogger (again, not official - just make your money through vlogging)

Skills: Media Production and Mixology

Generational goals: Fail out of college after reaching rank 3 of a spirit organization. Have an Enemies-With-Benefits relationship. Befriend and betray a B-list or higher celeb.

Nine: Favorite Crime

Summary: It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do. Your parent only cared about themself and what they could get from people. Now it's your turn.

Aspiration(s): Public Enemy

Traits: Evil, Kleptomaniac, Hates Children

Career(s): Crime Boss

Skills: Mischief, Handiness, Programming

Generational goals: Your only friend is your romantic partner-in-crime. Have multiple children and have them all taken away but one (your heir). Host a gold star lampoon party.

Ten: Hope Ur Ok

Summary: You're the product of an infamous criminal and 10 generations of trauma. But you refuse to let that make you cold. It's time you break the cycle.

Aspiration(s): Friend of the World and Zen Guru

Traits: Good, Outgoing, Genius

Career(s): Doctor

Skills: Wellness and Logic

Generational goals: Complete the Sugar Skull Collection in honor of your ancestors. Live in an eco-friendly tiny home. Have a romantic relationship with Father Winter.

[lunar-eclipse-literature]

[As a preface I want to say, absolutely no rush with this! Please take as much time as you need with all your asks and writing! This blog is only a few days old and you've already made a number of posts, so I really hope I'm not putting too much on you as you've just made this account and I'm sure you've got any number of more asks already. And of course, you're not obligated to respond to this at all. I love your stuff!]

holds out my hand could i get some major player x cog reader

HEY. HEY. The inbox is not as full as you think it is LMFAO!!! I love every request I get and I love writing them!! PLEASE feel free to send me any request you have, as long as it's mentioned in my pinned post!!

MAJOR PLAYER x cog!READER

Jumping right into it, this man is INCREDIBLY physically affectionate. At any time you're together he's got his fingers intertwined with yours, his hand on your shoulder, or even on your head/in your hair!

Not to mention the obvious fact he's a sweettalker. Constantly showering you in compliments, praise, and pet names. He loves how embarrassed and flustered you get, ESPECIALLY when it's in public.

He's also super protective over you. He doesn't like to see toons anywhere near you, in fear that they'll damage or even destroy you.

Even if he knows you can be rebuilt with the same consciousness, he just hates seeing you get hurt. It makes his blood(???) boil.

Depending on the cog type you are, he might promote you so that you have similar duties to him. After all, cogs only get One Minute Breaks a day, he needs as many excuses to be with you as possible!

100% pulls you up on stage and sings while dancing with you. He twirls and spins you around while singing the most sickly sweet love song he has.

Speaking of love songs, he's definitely dedicated more than one of them to you! Your name shows up repeatedly in his music, and he considers you his muse.

His love language is physical touch and acts of service. His favourite way to get out all his mushy feelings about you is to write songs about you and his deep love and adoration for you.

Only a few of them got fully published, though. He likes keeping the personal ones just for your ears only.

[natromanxoff]

News Of The World - 1985

(x)

[Photo caption: “No one ever loves the real me — everyone falls in love with my stardom”]

[Photo caption: Queen to Freddie is ex-lover Mary Austin — she’s the one constant person in his life and in line for his fortune]

[Photo caption: Mad or macho, Freddie always loves to shock]

[Photo caption: Performing is Freddie’s life. “I’m driven by my work,” he admits. “And I’ll go on as long as my system allows — until I go insane”

ROCK ON FREDDIE

As thousands of adoring fans flock to buy his first solo album this week, Freddie Mercury tells of the one thing that all his success and all his millions can’t ever buy… Sharon Feinstein reports

Freddie Mercury, the outrageous front-man of superband Queen, is addicted to his phenomenal success, but his fame and fortune have also been the source of his deepest misery.

Freddie loves creating bizarre stage images and thrives on the roar of his audiences and the beat of his music. But when the lights go down at the end of a show, he is left feeling lost and lonely.

"You can have everything in the world and still be the loneliest man, and that is the most bitter type of loneliness," says Freddie. "Success has brought me world idolisation and millions of pounds, but it's prevented me from having the one thing we all need — a loving, on-going relationship.

"It's like the old Hollywood stories where all those wonderful actresses just couldn't carry on a relationship because their careers came first.

"That's the way it is with me. I can't stop the wheel for a while and devote myself to a love affair because all sorts of business problems would pile up. The wheel has to keep turning and that makes it very hard for anyone to live with me and be happy.

"I'm driven by my work and will go on for as long as my system allows me — until I go insane. There's a voice inside me saying, "Slow down Freddie, you're going to burn yourself out”, but I just can't stop.

"You can't revel in the success and then, 13 years down the line, wake up one morning and say, ‘No, I don't want to be a superstar today. I want to go out in the streets on my own, or pour my heart into a relationship.’ It's impossible. Because this is it.”

"It" is being the extrovert lead-singer with probably the most successful rock band ever. In their 13-year reign, Queen have rocked the world in a way that no other group has before or since… not even the Beatles.

Today, Freddie and the boys — Brian May, Roger Taylor and John Deacon — each earn over £1 million a year and need never make another record or undertake another tour. But they have no intention of stopping. Last year, Queen toured Europe and had yet another hit with Thank God It's Christmas, and Freddie released his first solo single, Love Kills — which made the top 10 — and began work on his new single and first solo album. Earlier this year, he and the band were the star attraction for the 250.000 fans at the rock festival in Rio, Brazil.

"It was awe-inspiring and mind-boggling to be up there, with all those people in the palm of your hand," says Freddie. "But the other side of the coin is that, though I was surrounded by masses of people who love me, I must have been the loneliest person there. Can you imagine how temble it is when you've got everything and you're still desperately lonely? That is awful beyond words.

"I don't want people to think, poor old Freddie, because I can deal with it. But I'm so powerful on stage that I seem to have created a monster. When I'm performing, I'm an extrovert, yet inside I'm a completely different man.

Of course, the stagey streak in me, where I love to jump around […]

"My love affairs never last. I seem to eat people up and destroy them"

[…] and be volatile, is real, but people don't realise there's more. They expect me to be the same in my personal life as well. They say, "Come on, Freddie, perform, give us some excitement."

The hunky, dark-haired singer, who takes pride in his rippling muscles and ever-changing appearance, once joked that he'd had more lovers than any Hollywood star.

"But they never last," says 38-year-old Freddie. "I seem to eat people up and destroy them. There must be a destructive element in me because I do try very hard to build up relationships, but somehow I drive people away.

"They always blame the end of the love affair on me because I'm the successful one. Whoever I'm with seems to get into a battle of trying to match up to me, so all the time I'm feeling guilty and over-compensating… Then they end up treading all over me.

"I can't win. Love is Russian roulette for me. No one loves the real me inside, they're all in love with my fame, my stardom.

"I fall in love far too quickly and end up getting hurt all the time. I've got scars all over. But I can't help myself because basically I'm a softie — I have this hard, macho shell which I project on stage but there's a much softer side, too, which melts like butter.

"I try to hold back when I'm attracted to someone but I just can't control love. It runs riot. All my one-night-stands are just me playing my part. What I really like is a lot of loving. And I spoil my lovers terribly. I like to make them happy and I get so much pleasure out of giving them really wonderful, expensive presents."

Freddie has admitted that he is bisexual, but says: "I couldn't fall in love with a man the way I could with a girl". The one love of his life and the only person he really trusts is 31-year-old Mary Austin, a quiet fair-haired woman. Freddie and Mary had a seven-year romance.

"Our love affair ended in tears but a deep bond grew out of it, and that's something nobody can take away from us. It's unreachable,” he says. "All my lovers ask me why they can't replace her, but it's simply impossible.

"I don't feel jealous of her lovers because, of course, she has a life to lead, and so do I. Basically, I try to make sure she's happy with whoever she's with and she tries to do the same for me.

“We look after each other and that's a wonderful form of love. I might have all the problems in the world, but I have Mary and that gets me through."

The seal of Freddie's commitment to Mary is his decision to leave her his millions.

"What better person to leave my fortune to when I go ?" he smiles. "Of course my parents are in my will and so are my cats, but the vast bulk of it will go to Mary.

"If I dropped down dead tomorrow, Mary's the one person I know who could cope with my vast wealth. She works in my organisation and looks after my money side and all my possessions. She's in charge of the chauffeurs, maids, gardeners, accountants and lawyers. All I have to do is throw my carcass around on stage."

Freddie is one of the world's richest rock stars but he never has a […]

"You can have everything in the world and still be the loneliest man'

[…] penny in his pocket and has no idea of how many millions he owns.

"I love having so much money," he admits, "but I don't believe in counting it. And because I have far more than I need, I give a lot of it away to people I like.

"I try to enjoy life and if there was no money I wouldn't let it stop me having a good time. In the early days, when I hardly had anything I'd save for two weeks and then blow it all in a day so that I could have a blast of fun."

Certainly, money hasn't always been so free for Freddie. Born Freddie Bulsara on September 5, 1946, his father was a government accountant, which meant Freddie spent some of his childhood in Zanzibar and India. After school, he did a graphics course at Ealing College of Art in London (he designed the band's logo, using the four members' birth signs as inspiration). It was in late 1971 that he joined May, Taylor and Deacon and the Queen phenomenon began.

The biggest visible mark of Freddie's success (and millions) must be his magnificent 28-room mansion in London's Kensington, for which he paid over £1/2 million… in cash!

When Freddie bought the house four years ago, he had three of the eight bedrooms knocked into one for himself, and filled the mansion with handmade furniture from Harrods and priceless Japanese carvings and paintings from Toyko. Outside, an army of gardeners carved out a country retreat in the grounds.

But the king of the castle still hasn't moved in. For the first time Freddie explains why: "Every person who makes a lot of money has a dream he wants to carry out, and I achieved that dream with this wonderful house.

“Whenever I watched Hollywood movies set in plush homes with lavish decor, I wanted that for myself and now I've got it. But to me it was much more important to get the damn thing than to actually go and live in it. Maybe the challenge has worn off now. I'm very much like that — once I get something I'm not that keen on it any more. I still love the house but the real enjoyment is that I've achieved it.

"Sometimes, when I'm alone at night, I imagine that when I'm 50 I'll creep into that house as my refuge and then I'll start making it a home. Anyway, as it is, I can only spend 60 days a year in England for tax reasons."

Freddie has spent the last few months in Munich putting the finishing touches to his first solo album, Mr Bad Guy, which he has dedicated to his dead cat, Jerry.

The album, which is out this week, is packed with new material taking […]

[Photo caption: In 13 years with Queen, Freddie may have changed outwardly, but inside the heartache is the same]

[…] Freddie in an exciting new and different direction.

"I've put my heart and soul into this album,” he says. "It's much more beat orientated than Queen's music and it also has some very moving ballads."

In between hard work he also found time to begin a new friendship with a German actress — 42-year-old Barbara Valentin.

"Barbara and I have formed a bond that is stronger than anything I've had with a lover for the last six years," he says. “I can really talk to her and be myself in a way that's very rare."

Among his existing close friends, Freddie counts Rod Stewart, Elton John and Michael Jackson.

“Rod, Elton and I were going to form a band called Hair, Nose and Teeth after the three of us," he laughs. "But it hasn't happened because none of our egos can agree on the order of the words! Naturally I want it to be called Teeth, Nose and Hair.

“I'm very fond of Rod and Elton. They both came to my last birthday party and sang happy birthday when the cake was wheeled in. I shouted out, ‘This is probably the first time the two of you have sung without being paid for it!' and they laughed like mad.

“Michael Jackson and | have grown apart a bit since his massive success with Thriller. He's simply retreated into a world of his own.

“Two years ago we used to have great fun going to clubs together but now he won't come out of his fortress. It's very sad. He's so worried that someone will do him in that he's paranoid about absolutely everything.

“I get worried about that myself but I'll never let it take over my life like that.”

Freddie has said that if he wasn't a rock star with Queen, he'd have liked to have been a ballet dancer.

He once appeared with the Royal Ballet dancing to a selection of Queen hits, and it was at a glittering Royal Ballet party that Freddie met Prince Andrew.

“I was wearing a white scarf and holding a glass of wine when I was introduced to Prince Andrew. But I was so nervous I didn't realise my scarf was dangling in the drink,” Freddie recalls.

"There I was trying to be really cool and suddenly the Prince said, “Freddie, I don't think you really want this getting wet. He squeezed out the scarf and that broke the ice between us.

"I said, 'Thank goodness you've put me at ease. Now I can use the odd bit of dirty language.’ Then we both burst out laughing.

"He really got into the spirit of things and even had a dance. He's really quite hip in those sort of situations.

“I have a lot of respect for royalty. I'm a tremendous patriot."

Yet another unexpected side to the king of Queen. But then there's much more to Freddie Mercury than most of us ever see. Underneath the bizarre clothes and images that have become his trademark, there is the other Freddie. He sums it up simply… "Sometimes, I just long to be perfectly ordinary as well."

[jules-van-hering]

Call for support aka music recommendations! (sad music)

Dearest mutuals,

I need more songs to cry to, songs that just open the floodgates, you feel me.

I currently have an emigration to do list which is hella long and a crumbling relationship with my mum and also with one of my former best friends and well, shit really hurts. but I'm pushing through. pushing through so much that I regularly lose contact with my feelings and go numb. which sucks heavily. I don't like it. it's not good for me.

I found that crying it out to sad songs for at least 10 mins is a great release and I've prescribed it to me every third day now.

So please help me expand my playlist ❤️

Currently on my list, so you get a glimpse of my vibes:

#1 saddest Bruce song ever, absolutely destroys me every time. songs starts at 5:25 (before that he shares a story about his youth, his father and draft letters to Vietnam)

The song is about a man who had to marry at 19, because that's what you do when your girlfriend is pregnant where they're from and raised to "do just like their daddy done". and they very much once were in love as teens, but due to their lives being forced like that, they lost their connection and the hurt he feels about that is utterly heartbreaking to me. trapped with a person who once loved him and who he loved back in a life neither of them willingly choose, just enduring the present and grieving for what they once had 😭

#2 Taytay singing about loss. it's quite relatable to people how lost someone too young, had a miscarriage or also just wonder about the one that got away. the song itself is not specific about what type of loss, but it cuts deep for me

#3 Miss Chappell hitting it hard about mother-daughter-relationships, moving far away from your hometown and ultimately disappointing mommy by being your own fucking person who lives a very different life than expected of her. but she's finding home there, outcast from her biological family and finally really belonging somewhere

I think these three songs are enough.

The overarching themes are very obviously:

"having to get outta this place!" as Bruce would say,

family estrangement, especially the mother-daughter-shittiness, though I would also take dad-centric stuff and can also identify with son-perspectives,

and LOSS. like just in general losing sth or someone dear, or losing yourself.

If you've read this far, THANK YOU ❤️

Love, Jules

[josephseedismyfather]

WIP Music (it's not) Monday (anymore)

I was tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton in this weeks post, thank you for always thinking of me friend! 🥰 I actually started this post on Monday, but you know. Life.

Afflicted.

Tilling my own grave to keep me level

Jam another dragon down the hole

Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren

One that pushes me along and leaves me so

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Over you

Someone feed the monkey while I

Dig in search of China

White as Dracula as I approach the bottom

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Over you

Little angel go away

Come again some other day

The devil has my ear today

I'll never hear a word you say

He promised I would find a little solace

And some piece of mind

Whatever just as long as I don't feel so

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Desperate and ravenous

I'm so weak and powerless

Over you

Parenesis.

Have you got colour in your cheeks?

Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift

The type that sticks around like summat in your teeth?

Are there some aces up your sleeve?

Have you no idea that you're in deep?

I dreamt about you nearly every night this week

How many secrets can you keep?

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat

Until I fall asleep

Spilling drinks on my settee

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways?

(Sad to see you go)

Was sort of hoping that you'd stay

(Baby, we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you

So have you got the guts?

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you

I don't know if you feel the same as I do

But we could be together if you wanted to

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways?

(Sad to see you go)

Was sort of hoping that you'd stay

(Baby, we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? (you've had a few)

'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)

Maybe I'm too (maybe I'm too busy) busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

Crawling back to you

Untitled Johnny WIP.

All the blood, lying on the floor

Sense the crowd, expecting something more

Opened up, proudly on display

What we tried so hard to hide away

Blinding light illuminates the scene

Try to fill the spaces in between

Arms entwined in a final pose

Narrative drawing to a close

Still remain, the things we couldn't kill

In your eyes, I can see it still

How we choose the framing of the scene

Hate begins to spill across the screen

Blinding light illuminates the scene

Try to fill the spaces in between

Tagging, with apologies for doubles and no pressure as always: @wrathfulrook, @trench-rot, @ladyoriza, @cassietrn, @redreart, @inafieldofdaisies, @hotmessteaparty, @g0dspeeed, @v0idbuggy, @insanityofvaas, @simplegenius042, @malefiquinn, @strangefable, @noodlecupcakes, @chazz-anova, @ocdemon-747, @evilvvithin, and anybody else that wants to play! Tag me! 😘

[clementinatehasperdido]

My 2023 in books. Part IV

October

Big Swiss - Jen Beagin ⭐⭐⭐ 3/5

It is a witty, funny, very clever novel. It gives us the troop of messed-up female protagonists and I think it is very important to be able to empathize and love this type of protagonists. It is a book that you have to pick up and read at specific moments in life.

 “It takes an enormous amount of energy—and courage—to free yourself, to follow the path of transformation without abandoning yourself, without fleeing from your pain and all the loss you’ve experienced.” 

A visit from the goon squad- Jennifer Egan  ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5   

I liked. It has a strange structure. It's not exactly a novel, it's several stories intertwined with each other. You live, you get old and you die. It breaks your heart a little but at the same time it's beautiful. If you like music you will also enjoy it.

“There's a fine line between thinking about somebody and thinking about not thinking about somebody, but I have the patience and the self-control to walk that line for hours - days, if I have to.”

The Candy House - Jennifer Egan ⭐⭐⭐⭐4/5

It's a difficult book to describe, it's good. They are intertwined stories. It's about technology, very black mirror. It serves as a sequel to “A visit from the goon squad” but can be read on its own. What I like about Egan is that she takes the time to give each of his characters independence. This book shows that as humans we have the need to connect with each other and I think that is beautiful.

“Who could resist the chance to revisit our memories, the majority of which we’d forgotten so completely that they seemed to belong to someone else?”

Bakkhai - Translation Anne Carson - Euripides - ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5    

I'm going to say it again... Anne Carson was born to translate Euripides. I read in a review “Anne Carson and Euripides where born for eachother” I love it. The Bacchae is a beautiful tragedy, even subversive I would say.

“Beginnings are special because most of them are fake”

The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories -Howard Phillips Lovecraft ⭐⭐⭐  3/5 

It's a reread, spooky october. Love it. I don't have much to say about it, I read it little by little before going to sleep every day to get in the mood. I would like to say that it was more transcendental for my life.

Orpheus & Eurydice: A Lyric Sequence - Gregory Orr ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5 

A beautiful collection of poems. It destroyed my soul. It is the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. I know the story by heart, even so every word hurt me. I loved it. I don't really read poetry, but this was a nice surprise.

“To guide someone through the halls of hell is not the same as love”

Electra- Other Version Translation by Anne Carson -  Sophocles  ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5 

Lines above I already declared my love for Anne Carson. I will declare my love for Electra by Sophocles. It is a wonderful tragedy. It shows that when injustice persists, when the laws do not work, there, within one, the most human thing that exists is born: resentment.

“As for me- what harm can do it do to die in words?”

“I live in a place of tears”

November

We Paint - Chloe Ashby ⭐⭐⭐⭐ 4/5   

So sad. Written in a very beautiful way, another book about grief. But this time it is the grief of having lost a best friend. Somehow it brought back memories of the past. Heartbreaking.

“Better to be strangers for life, she must have thought, than to pick each other apart, one long, slow day at a time.” 

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous- Ocean Vuong ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5 

Another of my favorite books I read this year. Damn Vuong writes with immeasurable talent. Gentle but strong. At times raw but at others soft. With such detail that each word is well calculated. I shed tears all the time. It is a perfect book.

“Sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined.” 

“When does a war end? When can I say your name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?”

“I'm sorry I keep saying How are you? when I really mean Are you happy?”

Lanny - Max Porter ⭐⭐⭐⭐  4/5 

A fucking weird story. But I liked it. Max Porter has that power to leave me surprised every time. It was a quick read, I enjoyed it. It's like a fable. It reminded me of Latin American magical realism.

“False things, endings. Sustenance for fools and never what they claim to be.”

All the light we cannot see - Anthony Doerr ⭐⭐⭐  3/5

When I read it I gave it 4 stars, in retrospect I give it 3. I did enjoy it a lot. I think it does a lot, it says a lot and it's a nice story, very sad tho. But I was left with a strange feeling, as if a piece was missing. It has very descriptive and beautiful prose. 

“You know the greatest lesson of history? It’s that history is whatever the victors say it is. That’s the lesson. Whoever wins, that’s who decides the history. We act in our own self-interest. Of course we do. Name me a person or a nation who does not. The trick is figuring out where your interests are.” 

When all is said - Anne Griffin⭐⭐⭐⭐  4/5 

Another sad but intricate book. Precious. It is narrated by a dying man who decides to talk to five important people in his life. Full of regrets and reproaches, the book presents a nostalgic story. I cried. I felt it very close to my heart.

“I’m here to remember – all that I have been and all that I will never be again.”

A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5  

Is it really any surprise that this book gets a 5/5? It's Suzanne Collins, it's THG. I think Collins knows how to write about his characters very well and knows how to write what is precise. That's why there are 4 books and no more. This book is exactly what it should be, the villain origin story.

“You’ve no right to starve people, to punish them for no reason. No right to take away their life and freedom. Those are things everyone is born with, and they’re not yours for the taking. Winning a war doesn’t give you that right. Having more weapons doesn’t give you that right. Being from the Capitol doesn’t give you that right. Nothing does.” 

White nights- Fyodor Dostoevsky⭐⭐⭐⭐  4/5 

Did i had to do this to myself? No. But I did it. Depressant. It's so…heavy. White Nights is a short story, quick to read but damn it leaves you paralyzed.

“I don’t know how to be silent when my heart is speaking.” 

December

A Pale View Of The Hills - Kazuo Ishiguro ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5

Beautiful story by Ishiguro. Again, Ishiguro knows how to write stories that break your heart. It is the story of a mother and her youngest daughter who talk about the suicide of their eldest daughter. A beautiful text. Worthy of shedding tears.  

“As with a wound on one's own body, it is possible to develop an intimacy with the most disturbing of things”

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love- Raymond Carver  

Raymond Carver, terrible human being. There is no review about it for that reason. But good stories.

Cathedral-Raymond Carver  

Raymond Carver, terrible human being. There is no review about it for that reason. But good stories.

The Burning God- R.F. Kuang ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  5/5 

The end. It destroyed me, there are no words. I closed the year with this book. It's a strange mix of relief and sadness. It is the devastation left by the acts of war but also the self-realization of what one has done. How are actions justified? It was a great closure to the saga.

“Take what you want. I’ll hate you for it. But I’ll love you forever. I can’t help but love you.” 

“It doesn’t go away. It never will. But when it hurts, lean into it. It’s so much harder to stay alive. That doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to live. It means you’re brave.” 

[groovesnjams]

16 / 50

"Devotion" by Arlo Parks

MG:

I guess the worst thing about the Smashing Pumpkins was that every teenager who listened to Siamese Dream didn’t start a band. Maybe you think I’m being ironic here because it’s not exactly like we’re lacking for chugging, buzz bin revival groups – the wave rolls in every, oh, ten years, right on schedule and in that limited way, sure, “Devotion” washes over the same sand that “Belong” by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart did in 2011 and they’re both crashing against Billy Corgan’s beach, and all that. But (and, listen, I admit, I love all these songs, I love anything with fuzzy guitars and fucked up feelings) I think Arlo Parks gets closer to the spirit, the power, the transcendence of Midwestern pop grunge. You know why? Because she admits she’s faking it, pretending to be in a rock band with her producers and co-writers for a day after listening to “17 Days” by Prince while riding in a car. I can think of nothing that captures the experience of being young and stuck and overfull of big emotions than riding in a car and imagining you and your friends are in a band, just like the one playing over the stereo. The rest of My Soft Machine doesn’t sound like “Devotion” and I think both are better off for it. The whole of the record is unburdened, free to grow and shift and build a fully realized world and “Devotion” is distilled, essential, and potent. While it’s not the best reinterpretation of the Smashing Pumpkins we were treated to this year, it is the best ode to all the kids in cars, driving around because it’s the only place they’re allowed to just be.

DV:

As a strong believer in the lofty pop tradition of "faking it", I'm interested in what "faking" means in the modern era. Because on one hand you have AI-generated productions, with their dead eyes and nursery rhymes and planet-destroying energy consumption. They're fakes trying to be real, a dead rat buried in a collection of Shein dresses. And on the other you have "type beat" productions, over a decade old and now an established part of the music ecosystem, a sort of marketing tactic that's arguably been most successful in lowering the value of production work by creating a glut of #content at the expense of quality (the music equivalent of SEO blogs.) But what Arlo Parks is doing with "Devotion" isn't either of those types of fakes - it's just plain old rock 'n' roll, as old as the genre and older still, hearing something cool and trying to do it yourself even though you don't quite know how. We're long past the point of hearing type-beat masterpieces, and I'm skeptical but can admit it's theoretically possible to make something great with AI. "Devotion" is just straight up classic rock, the oldest thing under the sun made fresh again because we're a dozen newer things - good and bad - along. I hear Pixies more than Pumpkins, but that's also unmistakably Prince running through the low end. And that alchemy of parts where Arlo Parks makes a great song: faking is entirely forgivable, especially when the end result is something you've never quite heard before.

[theleanbean]

Curious why you think ITRN has more stronger songs, which would you say? There's only a few songs on ITRN that stand out to me whereas PDA's weakest song is the most ITRN song on that album (Supercell). And what do you mean by more defined? Just coherent thematically wise or do you mean music wise?

Uh oh you've opened a page in my 1000 page essay on king gizzard and the lizard wizard's music.

Bear in mind this 50 page essay might seem like I hate PDA, I do not. It's just hard not to sound negative when comparing two things in which you prefer one over the other. I honestly think that PDA took the lessons that the band learned from ITRN and made it their own. The album sounds like they had a lot more fun with it, for better... or for worse....(jk)

My main reason on why I prefer ITRN over PDA is that I like the theme of Rats Nest a lot more than that of PDA. While albums don't necessarily need a message to be good, I think that ITRN having a well-defined message (and resolution) makes it more meaningful and memorable to me rather than PDA.

While both albums do have plot lines that are about humanity screwing themselves over. I feel like ITRN has a more grounded call-out, through that of the rich deforming the earth and leaving everyone else behind to die, is stronger than the metaphorical destruction that PDA has both by that of the dragon and motor spirit(?).

Initially, when it came out I didn't even care about ITRN, but once I sat down and listened to it with the lyrics open I was able to understand and appreciate it more. I have a hard time doing that because of prose that lies within PDA, the album uses a lot of tropes that are common in older forms of English and fantasy stories. Thematically, the prose actually fits really well with the fantasy setting and demonstrates the crazy writing capabilities of the band.

On the other hand, that style of writing feels too polite to me. It reminds me of the type of language that i heard at church (sorry gizz) to the point where when I'm just reading it alone, my brain puts it in the same cadence as the stuff that i heard at church that I also never processed into my brain. Like the most sterile way to talk about the horrors.

PDA doesn't have a "Satan points me to the rats nest moment" and the message (if there even is one) is obscured by language that I struggle with which makes me feel quite stupid because I don't even know what the dragon is a stand in for, or even if it's supposed to be a metaphor for anything. Because to me, the Motor Spirit is oil, but the witches are witches, and the dragon is a dragon, but if only 1/3rd of the album is a metaphor why should I think that it's saying anything important. The album has implications of a message but the fantasy elements just throw it completely off because I can't find connections between them and reality.

To me PDA comes across as silly while ITRN is more of an angry album. I have strong (and a bit fond) memories of leaving my customer facing jobs during covid, and just cranking ITRN in my car for my ride home. Maybe its not fair to compare an album that I have long term connection with, over one that just came out, but if we were voting without nostalgia Changes would have destroyed Gumboot Soup.

ITRN is an album that I can put on when I'm mad and I can work it out through some good loud music. Which is not something that I find that PDA does for me, because it doesn't make me feel anything at all, I can enjoy it, but it doesn't stick in me like many other songs and albums in King Gizzards Discography.

It doesn’t feel sinister like the first 30 seconds of Superbug or the last minute of hell does. The dragon talks about destroying the earth and gobbling up people, and I feel nothing.

By obscuring the message, PDA comes across as more goofy and is easy to see it as the album where witches screw up and summon an evil dragon that eats everyone. Which, if that were the story-line alone, it's easy for me to prefer ITRN and its more grounded extinction message. And if that isn't what the album is about then what is it about because I literally can't tell what its a metaphor for. You put on Planet B or Mars For the Rich, everyone knows what you are listening to. The space part in ITRN does not do that as much, but because of its structure it means that by the time Hell plays you've received a payoff. The first 4 songs present an issue, the next 4 songs present the response, and Hell is the resolution. PDA's resolution basically happens in Gila Monster, because none of the songs after that present anything new that you haven't previously been told in Gila Monster.

I honestly think that my main hang-up is that I want more out of it. It's got a strong concept but no real payoff and doesn't build itself up to anything. Supercell & Converge are the different executions of the same thing. Gila Monster, Dragon, & Flamethrower, are the same way. The album doesn't even resolve itself as it ends with what I'm assuming is a teaser. (Which don't get me wrong it does get me excited for the other album, but long-term once that other album is out, what's the point) PDA is presented and created like a concept album, but holds itself back by not doing that and resolving itself. If PDA was instead created as another album with individual songs that tell a story like Changes, Omnium, or IDPLML I think that I would be more forgiving towards it.

As for song enjoyment, in my personal opinion, Perihelion is probably one of the best songs King Gizzard has in their discography. In my listening to PDA there are songs that I enjoy, but with my current music tastes there aren't really any that stand out as something that I'll be listening to over and over long term.

Like I think that Motor Spirit has a cool guitar solo and Ambrose's singing in Gila Monster is funny yet enjoyable. I like Flamethrower's call back to Motor Spirit, but more than anything, that song makes me more excited for the 'techno' album that they keep teasing with its long synth ending.

Between the two albums though, the only song I skip in ITRN is Organ Farmer, while in PDA I don't really care for Supercell, Converge, & Dragon. Flamethrower is also an interesting song because until they get to the part where they start singing Flamethrower, I do not care for it, after that it's good though. I like how Flamethrower was that same guitar pattern that Dragon has so I don't have to listen to Dragon to hear it. And as mentioned earlier I very much enjoy the synth riff at the end of Flamethrower as well. It really makes me think hmmmmmmm...

The music videos for PDA are better though. As a fan of scifi gizz, I like how Galea made the dragon a robot, and they seem to actually have more ties into what the song is about. The way he animated the dragon to the guitar is so funny lmao, every time I hear it or that part in flamethrower all I see are its little leggies scurrying back and forth.

tldr: OP feels like ITRN's extinction message is a lot stronger than PDA's is and also that Perihelion is just an awesome song.