#YOU MUST BE A LIGHT TO YOURSELF

[bazpango]

"Ah, do you like me just that little bit more? Are we friends now?"

[keyfolk]

maddie's monolgue in i saw the tv glow was incredible, but it's interesting how so many viewers took her statement about burying herself literally. i think, generally, there are two veins of interpretation of this movie, reflecting which reality the viewer favors. you could believe that the tv show is the true "reality" of the movie, or that it's simply a surrealist backdrop to the story of one person's intense repression. in the latter interpretation, maddie's dialogue feels dangerous -- is she actually advocating suicide? or simply speaking in metaphor for the trans experience of coming out?

i felt that this scene tread the line between those two extremes. but more notably, i thought about acts of "suicide" a closeted or repressed lesbian would feel drawn to. the way that maddie describes the burnout guy she paid to bury him, how he didn't even know what he was doing -- to me, it felt like she was implying an act of sexual self-harm, testing her sexuality, "burying herself" in the emotional pain. the catharsis found in suffocating herself, allowing herself to dissociate and fade away, and then coming free with the understanding of who she really is... while i think her monologue can be taken in many ways, this interpretation resonates with me.

[ghostenik]

anyone else’s after school activities include sitting on your floor and doomscrolling or is that just me and my favorite characters that i’m projecting onto

(i accidentally made him kind of short looking, let’s all pretend this is maybe a freshman or sophomore pete- i think it’s really funny to think that one year he shot up suddenly taller than everyone LMAO)

[aureatchi]

ohh we’ve come so far. you’ve come to take the crown yourself as bsd’s antagonist now tht you’ve finally come face-to-face w/ the MC. :’)

[imminent-danger-came]

WAIT HOLD UP

When talking about Mei being like Monkey King. There was a really strong parallel in season 3!

It was kinda mentioned already? But I don‘t just mean thematically, in the execution too! The scene Wukong was willing to kill the host child and Mei was willing to burn him, because they felt they had no other choice.

(I think she even mentioned that this is what Monkey King would do. What a hero would do.)

They both even had that small confrontation of "Are you really willing to sacrifice a child/friend?". And both make the tough call that this is something they HAVE to do. Maybe with some guilt, yes, but always without question.

GOD YOU'RE SO RIGHT ANON.

Lady Bone Demon: "Stop! Have you forgotten? Destroy me and you destroy the host. Have you become so desperate to end me that you would sacrifice this blameless, innocent, child?"

Sun Wukong: "You're giving me no choice! All the time you spent locked away and you haven't changed a bit! I'm going to finish you, like I should have done a long time ago! I told you—you should have stayed buried."

(3x11 This Imperfect World) (Always manifesting this scene for eamk)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "*laughs* You think whatever happens to Wukong is of concern to me? He is a vessel—nothing more. You would really destroy your own friends to save yourself?"

Red Son Voice Over: "Harmonize the wild energies and emotions burning within us and focus them!"

Mei: "Wukong knew the risks, it's what he would do if he had to. That's the hard part of being a hero!"

(3x12 The Corrupted King) (Omg hi hand motif! Hi!!!!)

-

Bonus Secret 3rd Parallel:

MK: "I'm not gonna let you win!" Lady Bone Demon: "In your thirst to destroy me you used all your powers!" MK: "Not all of them."

(2x10 This is the End!)

-

Some extra thoughts under the cut!

What interests me the most about this parallel is the fact that Mei would totally sacrifice Wukong and Wukong would totally sacrifice that little girl—it's a simply trolley problem for them—but if that person were MK?

I don't think either of them could do it.

Here's where I get into more speculative territory, because personally I think Wukong killed Macaque, and I'm also a believer in EAMK, so I'm going to be plastering a lot of red string!

SO. Would Wukong willingly sacrifice someone who meant so much to him?

You could argue he already did so with Macaque—I think that's what they're setting up anyways. I think Macaque's death is going to fall into place with our continuing "do you sacrifice one person for the many" conflict we have going on here, one that was definitely built upon in 4x13:

Yellowtusk: "I know full well what would happen should Azure fail but- but he is my brother. I owe him my life!" Sandy: "We get it! I'd do anything to help my friends! But at the cost of the world?" Pigsy: "I'm sorry pal, but NOTHIN' is worth that price!"

(4x13 Rip and Tear)

-

So it seems clear: You sacrifice the one person for the sake of the world.

I think looking at this conflict and using it as a lens to look at Samadhi Fire Mei brings up some interesting points. If Wukong's had pulled off his plan without Macaque or Ne Zha's interference, and then hadn't been able to safely extract the Samadhi Fire from Mei...would Wukong have sacrificed her?

Everyone in 3x10 was willing to sacrifice Mei in a way, to leave her—except MK. MK refused to abandon her, risking himself and the world if he wasn't successful and the Samadhi Fire continued to burn out of control. But in this situation...choosing one person over the world was the right choice.

((Just wanted to point out that both Wukong and Mei are very willing to sacrifice each other which fascinates me. Moving on!))

Wukong himself isn't won't make that sacrifice if he feels there's another option: "You're giving me no choice!" (which I think echoes Mei's "We don't have a choice!" from 3x02)

All of this is a long winded way for me to say that at some point MK is going on the chopping block, either next season or beyond. It's going to be either him or the world, or at least it's going to seem that way, and our protags are going to have to make a very hard choice (omg hi "They will destroy you, harbinger of chaos!").

BUT, BRINGING THIS BACK AROUND TO EAMK.

Wukong won't destroy the one life if he feels he has a choice. This is where baby MK steps in: "all the time [he] spent locked away", and he changed EXTREMELY. To the point where he's basically not the thing that was sealed away in the stone, and very much just a "blameless, innocent, child"—meaning Wukong had a choice.

SO. Basically it's my hope that Wukong already chose MK over the world once, and him and Mei are gonna do it again.

[imactinglikeanamateur]

"...though her first instinct was still to protest... something else was growing. She'd have called it arrogance, and it frightened her. But arrogance and self-worth are two sides to a coin, and it will spend either way."

- Brandon Sanderson, Tress of the Emerald Sea

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Roxy: fuck. those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. what the fuck do i do with this

[breathofgod]

[my-fool]

i never get people who are fans of morally grey/villain characters like Astarion or Kylo Ren or Solas or whoever and then want to paste over their evil deeds because they love them and sympathise with them. For me holding someone to a high standard is the basis of my respect for them. If I didn't care about you I wouldn't care how you conducted yourself, but I do care about you, so it matters a lot to me. I feel the same temptation everyone else does to cut corners, to short-change people, but I don't because I don't want to disappoint the people in my life. Secondly, it's extremely fun to read your fave character for filth and to destroy the excuses they've built their life around.

[ssreeder]

You'd THINK I'd be over the moon (ha) over the next chapter being so soft and nice and pretty

But again. I am having war flashbacks to Eve and V. And like, Azula is RIGHT THERE. And Ara is like, 👌🏼 this close to losing it. And jet is fucking comatose or whatever but eventually he'll wake up and cause problems on purpose. And iroh is watching zuko all the goddamn time. And quon is still unaccounted for in what he's planning.

Like. I don't think I'll be able to survive the crash after the high of them being soft Reedy. I really don't think I'm strong enough

-Fragile heart

(On that note, but feel free to ignore this bit, I don't... I really don't do with major characters dying. As in, canon deaths at most and even then. So i was wondering if it was possible you could let me know if or when you know for sure you plan on killing them? Bc i love your story but yknow. There's stuff i can't deal with so. Yeah. No pressure though, i understand if you want to keep it a surprise)

Why is this us right now?

I’m just trying to pretend I don’t have a bunch of dirty laundry shoved under my bed (the fic) and whyyyyyyyy do you have to come in and remind me?! (Stop pulling out my DIRTY LAUNDRY FHA!!!)

Can’t the boys just be happy and forget that everything else is falling apart??

as for your (pleas in the parenthesis) you can DM me and I’ll give you the insights on future deaths as long as you promise not to expose me lol. Or if you’re in the server on discord just DM me there lol. OKKKKKK FHA???? I lub you.

<3333

[gizdathemxel]

so twomad died while I do not think he is a good person nor I do think he should be celebrated that’s honestly kind of a scary death to me. scary because as a black person w mental health issues and issues w social media, i often worry about spiraling and things like that. like a bit of giz lore but back when i was active on edeetwt (which is why i have pr04n4 content blocked teehee) I was only on Twitter for abt 4 months yet i had over 3-4K tweets. I was a severely lonely, insecure and isolated kid (since i was 15-6 then) and i fell into the rabbit hole of social media bc it was the closest thing i had to genuine human connection. and it made everything so much fucking worse. even though i (can confidently say) have grown from this, there are still echoes of the kind of person i used to be in my life. i still find myself being addicted to social media (though I try to take breaks and once did a one month stint off tiktok!!). i still find it hard to communicate and interact with people bc those feelings from that time are still in the back of y mind.

now PLEASE don’t get me wrong, I have never harassed, assaulted or threatened anyone, or done anything twomad has. Worst thing ive ever done in that era was like purge, and listen to yagami yato unironically. but what scares me is that i COULD spiral like that. I COULD become the kind of person that repeatedly hurts others and finds no fault within themselves. I COULD literally die and no one would give two shits about it until my corpse started inconveniencing them because I wasted my life being an awful irredeemable human being. And that’s literally my worst fear.

but honestly thank god that I’ve got loving family and friends who see me and care abt me. Thank god I can actually give enough of a shit abt myself to realize when I’m hurting myself. Thank god I’ve got my life of art and fashion and culture and learning and the world at large to keep me going. Thank god that I don’t want to leave this planet knowing that I didn’t do anything to help anyone in need.

[p0ssywhippedcream]

no matter how much i say, i will never have said enough. no matter how much i love, i will never have loved enough. no matter how alive i am, i will never have lived enough.

there is so much of this world and of myself to give to it and everything on it but i will never have enough time because i will never run out of myself, of love and care and need and humanity.

i am so afraid i won’t have enough time to be with the people i want to be with but in the end, i am simply glad i don’t want my time to be done already anymore. i am glad i appreciate life and time and that i live to live now.

i am glad birds will sing and suns will rise and waves will crash and people will talk to me tomorrow and the tomorrow after that too. i am glad i breathe and think and smell and touch and taste and i love so deeply with all of me.

i am glad to be alive. i am glad to be me. i am glad to have the earth under my feet and my friends in my hands and my desire for everything in my mind. i am.

[auspicioustidings]

Did something happen in the fandom or was that just a regularly scheduled PSA?

It was a regularly scheduled PSA, nobody panic!

[nicepersondisorder]

Hello! NPD Dazai canon ofc but also: what do you think of ASPD + NPD (comorbid) Dazai?

YOOOO!!!! THATS SO COOL

i personally base dazai on myself and since i dont have aspd, i havent considered him having it. but now that you suggesged it, i think it makes Perfect Sense. he checks So Many symptoms..... dreamy sigh

this is canon now, nonnie. asagiri told me himself <3

[theygender]

Having a vagina honestly sucks bc it's like you have to do fucking alchemy just to prevent yourself from getting sick. You've got an intricate ecosystem of microorganisms down there that you're dependent on for your own well-being and they can be set off by the tiniest fucking thing

Keeping your pubes too short can cause yeast infections, but letting them get too long can also cause yeast infections. Washing the area with specialized soap can help prevent yeast infections, but it can also cause them. Your periods can cause yeast infections, and so can the medicine you take to stop your periods. Having sex can cause yeast infections, especially if the person you're having sex with is diabetic (???). Being diabetic can cause yeast infections. Wearing the wrong clothes or eating the wrong things can cause yeast infections. Not getting enough fucking sleep can cause yeast infections. The list is neverending

Luckily, yeast infections are fairly easy to treat with OTC medicine that you can find at any Walmart. BUT! Even if all of your symptoms indicate that you have a yeast infection, you have to take a test first to confirm that it's a yeast infection (they do not sell the tests at Walmart) bc you might actually have the opposite of a yeast infection (bacterial vaginosis) which has the exact same symptoms as a yeast infection but is caused by an imbalance of different microorganisms. And if you use yeast infection medicine to treat a bacterial infection it will light your pussy on fire. So if you have a bacterial infection, you must instead visit your local witch doctor (gynecologist) and get prescribed special potions (antibiotics) to treat it

Antibiotics can also cause yeast infections