#YOU MAKE ME LOVE WRITING
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DON'T MIND ME REPLYING LITERALLY A WEEK LATER đđđ the maknae line tropes were some of my favourite to write (me saying that about all the tropes i write) but i think this was the start of my âšcallingâš to write angsty endings hohohoho
NOT YOU CALLING ME OUT FOR STARTING WITH STRAIGHT SMUT HAHAHA DON'T EXPOSE ME đ«”đ€«
but you're right i think hyung line had the same trajectory from smutty to fluffy oop
san
no hello's no how are you's only i want you's đđ„”
whatever san wants he gets i'm all his haha ha ahahahaa haaaa
NO FR THOUGH SAN IS LITERALLY THE GREENEST GREEN FLAG TO GREEN FLAG EVER ???? istg there's no other way to depict him in my fics he is just green flag periodt
YOU đ€ ME đ€ NEEDING A SAN (or just the san) TO EAT OUR MUSHROOMS FOR US
ugh YES the desperation of yearning and longing for each other when they know they won't have a future together đ brb gotta go sob in my corner
until you bear the last name of somebody you will still be san's RAHHHH đčđčđč
JAEHYUN MY MANN MY MANN MY MANNN AFJKDSGH I JUST NEED BOTH MY DIMPLE BOYS IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR
hehehehehehehehehe san was really like i đ can đ fulfil đ all đ them đ promises đ
mingi
ahh yes onto mingi the start of my villain arc writing sad endings >:D
YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT mingi could literally brEaTHE in my direction and i'd be like đ«šđ«š
i am such a sucker for power imbalances but them wanting to eradicate that imbalance uGH
mingi is just a baby boy cmere i'll sing you all the lullabies give you all the forehead kithes you need đ„čđ«¶
THOSE FOUR LINES ARE QUITE POSSIBLY MY FAVOURITE LINES FROM THIS AU
THE CONTRAST AND BOTH OF YOU WANTING TO LOVE EACH OTHER BUT KNOWING THAT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE IN THIS LIFETIME PLSSS
oooh yes :D things are looking too good :D how can i change things up hmm :D
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOH đ
EATING BRICKS IS LESS PAINFUL I AM HOWLING HAHAHAHA IF WE GONNA PUT IN ANGST WE GOTTA MAKE SURE IT ANGSTS WELL AMIRITE :D
it's okay i don't forgive myself either đ«”đđ«°
wooyoung
i love how we hit woo's au and it's just like yup okay what kinda lovely menace is he going to be this time what's the drill HAHAHA
advisor lee be thinking about retirement erry day đźâđšđ€§
WE IN CAHOOTS INDEED OHOHOH đ
no i actually love writing atz cameos bc their dynamics are already established and the comic relief they provide? absolute gold
HE JELLY JELLY HUEHUEHUE get yo gurl wooyoung
gotta show off to everybody you're his đ«±
LORD JUST GIVE US ONE CHANCE WITH POSSESSIVE WOOYOUNG WHO WANTS TO HOLD OUR WAIST TIGHT AND KISS US TO SHOW EVERYBODY WE'RE HIS PLS PLS PLS JUST ONE CHANCE PLEASE đ
I WOULD DIG MYSELF A HOLE AND NEVER UNEARTH MYSELF IF I WERE CAUGHT MAKING OUT
jongho
best source of comedy is the person lower on the power hierarchy to be absolutely real about the higher person's stupidity
who cares if you're the crown prince or the king you're straight up an idiot đ€šđ«”
you're so real for wanting to be a sack of potatoes no thoughts head empty only being manhandled by choi jongho
RIGHT jongho make up your mind are you trying to bully reader or flirt with reader đ€ aND tAKE THE DAMN SPIDER WITH YOU
AHAHAHAH JONGHO'S AU WAS SO FUN TO WRITE SPECIFICALLY FOR ALL THE CRACK SCENES WITH THE SPIDERS
JONGHO STREAKING THROUGH THE CORRIDORS SCREAMING I BELIEVE THIS IS CANON đ€·ââïž
Y E S i love you for noticing that he's teasing reader and pretending to be nonchalant wHILST LITERALLY BEING THE MOST LOVING unofficial-BOYFIE GIVING THEM THE BIGGER HALF AND WATER
KDJSGHSK I ALWAYS HAVE LIP BALM COME BACK HERE WITH YOUR CHAPPED LIPS CHOI JONGHO đ
oh. I OVERUSE THIS SO MUCH FOR THAT LIGHTBULB MOMENT IN THEIR HEADS BUT I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH HAHAH oh. đ«š
GET YOUR OWN LIPBALM AHAHAHHAHA that's true he should buy his own damn lipbalm with his bodyguard pay smh
ateez as royals who fall for you (maknae line)
read hyung line here
genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes
length: 11.3k
c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)
a/n: as much as writing royals was tricky, it's kind of đ€ą sad đ€ą to see this au end. that being said nobody ask me for a pt 2 pls i need to recover from the trauma LMAOO and as always, huge thank you to the queen of royal au's herself @sorryimananti-romantic for helping me finish the fic and for teaching me how to make moodboards using something that is *not* word doc :')
san
pov: you're forbidden lovers
âshh,â san hushes you with a teasing curl of his fingers that are buried inside you. âwouldnât want everyone outside to know what a dirty little slut the princess is, do you?â
his other hand covers your mouth, stifling the breathy moans and desperate whines that escape your lips as you sit in between his legs, naked and pressed back to lean against his chest
there is the sound of water splashing over the edge of the bathtub when san hooks his feet around your inner ankles so that he can spread your legs wider for him
he presses the palm of his hand harshly against your clit and your back arches with a muffled worship of his name
âor maybe you like that,â he teases âyou like the idea of people knowing how good i make you feel with my fingersâ
san removes his hand from your mouth and lowers it to pinch your nipple, smirking against your neck as you babble incoherently
he coos as he adds yet another finger into you, âimagine that, everyone knows you as the princess who loves being fucked dumb. and by one of her servants, no lessâÂ
all caution is thrown to wind and you drop your head back to lean against his shoulder, mouth lolling open with unrestrained pleads for more, more, faster as he angles his fingers to hit that sweet spot inside of you
âcum, princessâ he demands
you grip bruises onto sanâs thighs and arms when the pace of his fingers doesnât relent even after your orgasm has washed over you
his arms tighten around you as his thighs flex to keep you still in his hold
you let out a choked sob from the overstimulation, teetering between pain and pleasure
âgive me one more, i know you can do it,â he coaxes
the hand that has been fondling your breasts snakes down to rub your clit
with his fingers knuckle-deep inside of your pussy and his other hand playing relentlessly with your sensitive clit, the scale tips over and your vision blurs as another wave of pleasure hits you, more intense than the first one
âprincess?â and then a knock. âare you okay?â
san slowly draws out the remainder of your orgasm with lazy thrusts of his finger into you
you just know heâs enjoying himself when you have to hide the shakiness in your voice to answer back to your maid outside, âeverythingâs fine. iâll be done soonâ
âsoon?â san smirks, lifting you up by the waist to align your folds with his swollen cock. âthen we better make this quickâ
because you and san do not have the luxury of time, much less the luxury of love
he isnât just another one of the numerous servants who serve you
he is everything to you despite how taboo it is for a princess and servant to love each other
his insignificance within the palace makes it much easier for him to slip away; for nobody to take notice
but at the same time, his insignificance is the whole reason why you two must be secretive in the first place
you make sure san has safely snuck out of the bathroom before you finally exit the bathtub and stand on unsteady legs
you allow your maids to come in and help you into the elaborate attire you are to wear for the afternoon
your parents have informed you that you are going to have visitors, thus requiring you to look your best
without much time left until the appointed meeting due to yourâŠescapade, you make your way to the great hall, catching a glimpse of sanâs dimpled smile from amongst the other body servants and waiting staff in the room
you have only just settled into your seat next to the king and queen when the guard outside the doors announces the arrival of your guests - the monarchs from the neodonian kingdom
schooling your expression to one of neutrality, you watch as they enter
and then you realise it isnât just the neodonian king and queen who have come to visit
but the prince as well
he is undeniably handsome and pleasing to the eye with his sleekly gelled hair, chiseled features and tall, sturdy build
the young prince catches you looking at him and breaks out into a friendly smile and-
oh
he has dimples too
the king garners everyoneâs attention with a clear of his throat, before he welcomes the monarchs
prince jaehyun, you learn his name is
âafter much discussion between ourselves and king jeong and queen jeong, we are pleased to announce our desire for closer relations between our kingdoms,â your father starts, booming voice resounding within the hall
you canât stop yourself from looking over at him as he speaks with purpose, a strange niggling feeling starting to twist your stomach
the tight smile that your mother passes you from your fatherâs other side does little to settle your nerves
âas such,â the king continues, âwe shall look forward to the engagement between my daughter and prince jaehyunâ
there is a roaring sound in your ears, as if you have been pushed to stand under a raging waterfall
engagement
the engagement
you
prince jaehyun
the engagement between you and prince jaehyun
it takes everything in your body not to bolt up from your seat
your hands grip the armrests of your seat with a grasp so tight you are certain you will leave a permanent imprint of your agony
instead, you look around frantically for the one person your instincts are screaming for
where is san?
you are afraid to see how much this is going to hurt him
you are desperate to tell him that you had no idea about this
you are aching to press confessions of love and reassurance against his lips
but just like the insignificance of his status, san is nowhere to be seen
over the two years that you and san have been in your secret relationship, he has gained extensive knowledge of which particular tasks allow him a greater chance of seeing you, which corridors reach you the quickest, and which times during your schedule you have a break
never would you have thought he would use this knowledge to avoid you
it continues like that for the weeks following the announcement
you have no choice but to spend time with your future fiance when your father tells you very clearly to âensure the prince feels at homeâ
prince jaehyun is warm and you find yourself getting along with him like you two are friends, but that is it - there are no sparks brighter than friendship
when you spend time with him, you cannot help but compare him to san; san wouldâve said this, san wouldâve done that, san, san, san
jaehyun engages you in conversation, easily filling in the gaps and lulls with little comments here and there, equipped with a charming laugh and deep dimples
but it only reminds you of sanâs dimples and crescent eyes when you two would race through corridors, fingers tightly interwoven as you both run away to a secluded area with hushed giggles
jaehyun points out that neither of you like mushrooms during a dinner and helps nudge the servings on both of your plates to one side
the smile as you say âthank youâ does not fully grace your lips because you think about san, who boasts that he will eat all the mushrooms in the world so that you never have to lay eyes on one ever again
jaehyun offers a soft yet sturdy hand to help you down the stairs or when he notices you are walking in heels across an uneven surface
your body recalls sanâs rough, calloused hands that leave a trail of goosebumps wherever they touch your bare skin as he worships your body all night long
jaehyun is handsome and he is kind, but he is not san
the night before the king officially announces your engagement with prince jaehyun arrives
and still, you have not had a moment alone with san since he disappeared during that first announcement in the great hall
hurt and longing consume you to the very core
some days it is manageable, a concealed yet incessant thought, like a sticker stuck to the sole of your shoe
other days it wraps around your soul completely like a constrictor tightening as it slowly squeezes the life out of its prey
but you know that you cannot be selfish
what you feel, san feels with an intensity multiplied several times
after all, you are not the one who must stand in the shadows as the love of your life becomes engaged to somebody else, powerless to do anything but watch and poison your own smile with lies
you are lying on your bed when a quick, sharp knock sounds on your bedroom doors
you make no move to acknowledge your visitor, having told your maids very clearly you did not want to be disturbed tonight
your last night as yourself before you become prince jaehyunâs fiance
but then the knocks come a little more urgent, a little more frantic, just like your heartbeat does as it starts to speed up in anticipation
you hold your breath as you hurry to pull open the doors-
and there he is
âsan-â
he swallows the rest of your words in a desperate kiss, his hands coming up to cradle your jaw as he walks you backwards so that he can step into your room
he tilts your head and slots his lips against yours again while he nudges your door closed with his foot
it isnât until you let out a whine as his tongue swipes over your bottom lip that he pulls back to finally look at you, both of his thumbs caressing your cheekbones
you grip the front of his linen shirt, afraid that he will disappear as soon as you let go
âsan, i- i had no idea, i didnât agree to any of thisâ
he shushes you gently, a painful smile adorning his handsome face
âi know. i know, so please donât cry, love,â he murmurs softly
you donât even realise the weeks of suppressed emotions have started making their way down your face in salty trails until san uses the back of his fingers to tenderly brush them away
âiâm getting engaged tomorrow, san,â your voice breaks as reality settles in
you are so afraid
you are so lost
above all, you are so in love with san
âi know,â he reassures again, âbut until tomorrow, you are still mineâ
and so you spend your last night together
time has always been precious; conversations, kisses and touches rushed and with fervour
but tonight, san takes his time with you
he lays on your bed with you cradled on top of him, limbs tangled together as he savours the taste of your lips against his
he turns you onto your back as he slowly undresses you, leaving tattoos of his love each time he bares another part of your body
he pleasures you with his fingers whilst whispering into your ears, creating a harmony with his praises and the melodious moans that leave your lips
and as he brings you both to your highs numerous times throughout the night like an ingrained dance routine, it is accompanied with confessions of i love you
san holds you against his chest under your blankets so tightly that you cannot tell where your body ends and his body starts
before you drift off, safe and protected in his arms, he murmurs against your temple, âno matter what happens tomorrow, no matter what happens in the future, my heart will always be yoursâ
âas will mineâ
you wake up the next morning to an empty bed and an equally empty heart
restless and drowning in a mix of emotions, you pace the empty corridors of the guest bedchambers
which is where jaehyun finds you as he exits his room
he is surprised but is quick to greet you kindly, âgood morning, princess. what are you doing here?â
you pause mid-step
what are you doing?
âprince jaehyun,â you let the words come out of you before you can regret them. âcan we talk for a moment?â
he nods, entering his room again as he pulls the door open wider for you to follow
jaehyun closes the door and then offers you a seat on his sofa, before pulling up his own chair and settling a respectful distance away from you
âi hope you donât feel uncomfortable in my room,â he explains, âi thought that we would be less likely to be disturbed in hereâŠconsidering most people know of our engagement todayâ
âactually, i wanted to talk to you about thatâ
âgo on,â he encourages you with a dimpled smile
you take a deep breath
âiâm sorry,â you blurt out
and then you are admitting to the prince that he is lovely and charming and caring, but you just donât see it working out with him
you donât want to get engaged with him
because your heart already belongs to somebody else
âgoodâ
âiâm so sorry, i should have been honest with you from the start but- wait, what?â you look up from where you have been nervously picking at your cuticles
jaehyun is smiling at you - a genuine smile that you did not know he had
âiâm actually relieved to hear that, princess,â he admits. âbecause iâŠalso have someone that i love back homeâ
and for the first time, you and jaehyun truly see each other in the same light
âwho is it?â he asks
âhis name is san,â and then you add on, âhe has dimples just like you doâÂ
you ask him the same question
you see the way jaehyunâs expression softens with love from just the mere thought of the other
it makes you wonder whether you have the same look on your face when you mention san
jaehyun jokes, âwant to be the one who tells your father weâre calling off the engagement? i donât fancy getting executed todayâ
but despite what he says, mere hours later, when you are both standing in the great hall before your parents - the kings and queens of both your kingdoms - he is the one to speak up
âyour majesty, we have decided to part ways peacefully and would not like to proceed with the engagement. our kingdom will always be your ally, regardless of marital relations or notâ
âwhat?â you see veins starting to appear across the kingâs forehead as he tries to maintain his temper, but the queen and the jeong monarchs seem to be taking the news much better
disappointed, perhaps, but understanding
the queen leans closer to remind the king that they had all agreed to this engagement on the terms that the decision would ultimately be yours and jaehyunâs
you suddenly speak up because this may be the only time you have the courage to
âi have one more thing to say,â you declare. âi revoke my noble status and thus declare nullified all the privileges, rules and traditions that come with nobility. i have someone i love and i wish to marry them as myself, not as the kingdomâs princessâ
the king roars furiously, âthat is enough! leave!â and he slams his hand against the throneâs armrest
shocked and betrayed by your fatherâs reaction, you rush out of the great hall with tears welling in your eyes
only to run straight into the waiting arms of san
âoh, princess,â he murmurs against the crown of your head as he engulfs you in his embrace
he doesnât have to say anything for you to realise that he has heard the whole conversation
but you do not care about anything anymore
you are where you want to be, held by who you want to be with
âhow are you here?â you sniffle
âjaehyun approached me earlier. i thought i was going to get beat up,â sanâs attempt to make you smile is successful
when you lift your head up to look at him, you realise his eyes are wet as well
then you feel his body stiffen as his eyes shift to focus on something behind you
someone
he immediately steps away from you, bowing deeply as he greets the queen
you turn around to see her face adorning an endearing smile
âitâs fine, sannie,â she says, and you are not sure whether you and san are more surprised by the fact that she knows him by name or by the affectionate nickname she has used
âiâll, uh, leave you two to talk,â he flusters
she thanks him with a teasing remark, âi wonât keep her away from you for very longâ
san waits further down the corridor, back turned to give you two a moment of privacy
and then she is stroking your hair affectionately
âi am so proud of you. youâve grown up so well and you are so brave,â she says
you donât understand
you ask, âwhy arenât you angry?â
âoh, baby,â she fondly runs her fingers through your hair, just like she used to when you were younger. âbefore my duties as the queen to my people, i am the mother to my daughter. i love you and all i want is for you to be happyâ
your lips tremble with emotion as your mother pulls you into a hug
âdoes sannie make you happy, dear?â
you nod, âthe happiestâ
âthen that is all i want. now go,â she takes a hold of your shoulders and gently turns you in the direction of san. âiâll talk to your fatherâ
with one last encouraging squeeze, you race down the corridor towards san
he hears your footsteps and has already turned around with open arms waiting to catch you
you hear him let out an oomph! with how hard you throw yourself into him, but he is then swaying your bodies side to side
san pulls back slightly with an incredulous look. âdoes this mean we can be together? together together?âÂ
âi goddamn hope so because i gave up my princess privileges for you. no more carriages, no more assorted sweet delicacies, no more daily massages-â you fold down your fingers as you continue listing things off
he cuts you off with a tickle to your sides as he says, âthatâs easy to sort outâ
âfirst, youâll still be my princess,â he unfurls one of your fingers so it stands upright again
âsecond, iâll carry you myself so that you never need to use your feet again,â he unfurls another finger
âiâll give you a treat whenever you want,â he kisses your lips, nibbling on your bottom lip with a teasing tug
âand, dear princess,â he pulls you flush against his body and you have to steady yourself on his chest to avoid tripping over, âi can give you hourly massagesâŠâ
smirking, he starts to lower his head to suck pretty marks onto your neck as he whispers in a low voice, â...if you can keep upâ
mingi
pov: you're the prince's maid
for what you are about to do, you could very well be executed should somebody catch you
but desperate times call for desperate measures
and thereâs no guarantee that you and all the other staff will not be executed anywayâŠ
not with what has just happened in the palace
you push the door closed behind you with a soft click, using the brief changeover of guards to slip inside the bedroom of the youngest prince, unnoticed
you call out softly but urgently, âprince mingiâ
when you hear him groggily murmur, starting to bubble towards the surface of consciousness, you dare to give his shoulder a rough shake
âprince mingi, please wake upâ
his eyes flutter open, confusion starting to clear the fogginess in his head as he struggles to comprehend the sight of your face hovering inches from his, deep into the hours of the night
âw-whatâs going on?â he clears his husky voice, âare you okay?â
you wish you could reach out and smooth the wrinkles of concern from his forehead
reassure him that everything will be okay until he falls back asleep
but there is no time
âthe crown prince is dead and we must leave. now.â
the effect is immediate, like you have just driven a knife into his chest
although you suppose it must not feel very different for prince mingi right now
âthe crown prince is d-â the word tastes vile on his tongue, so he asks after his second oldest brother instead. âwhat about prince eun?â
you must drive the knife into him once more
âhe was the one who murdered the crown prince, but he has framed you for the murder. there is no time, prince mingi, we must leave nowâ
âthe court will find me innocent,â yet he lets you tug him out of his bed
you hastily help prince mingi into a dark brown robe while you shake your head, ânot when your inscribed sword is currently covered in the crown princeâs blood. we do not know who is secretly working for prince eun. until we know for sure, we do not stand a chance of clearing your nameâ
he knows that youâre right, even if his heart is hoping that you are wrong
the prince slides his hand into the gap between his bed and wall, pulling out a spare sword and wrapping the belt around his waist
eyes sweeping across his chamber one final time, he locks eyes with you grimly before turning to flee
you follow the prince through a back passageway - itâs not entirely a secret and it wonât be long before the royal guards come for the prince, discover his empty bedroom and give chase
but it is long enough to give you two a head start
he helps you up onto the back of his personal horse before he swings himself up easily onto the saddle behind you
with a nudge of his feet, the prince sends the horse into a gallop
you startle with a yelp, having never ridden a horse before, much less one at this pace
prince mingi presses himself a little closer to you and slots his chest against your back as he leans forward to guide your hands to hold the reins with his
âhere,â he murmurs, âjust follow meâ
he shifts one hand to settle on your waist, guiding your body into a comfortable rhythm that dances in sync with the horseâs movements and his own
when heâs sure youâve gotten the hang of it, the prince places his hand back on the reins, yet he stays close, keeping you safely encased within his arms to prevent you from falling off
youâre not sure how long you two ride for
but at some point the prince slows the horse to a canter
with the slower sway of the steed, the steady clack of hooves against the forest floor, and the warmth of the prince around you, you drift off to his whispered, âsleep, iâve got youâ
you wake up to find yourself on a scratchy pile of leaves
the events of last night piece themselves together when you spot prince mingi, still adorning his deep blue silk pajamas, leaning against a tree a few feet away
it would have been a sight to see if not for the fact that-
âwhat are we going to do now?â you sit up, and the princeâs robe, you now register, falls from around your body
the prince gives you a warm smile as you rub the sleep from your eyes with fisted hands
âweâll head into halsburg. the town is small enough the news should not have traveled that far yet. weâll replenish some supplies and go from thereâ
itâs unspoken
the fact that there is no solid plan from there
even if the two of you have managed to escape the royal guards, for how long can you two run?
plus, it will be impossibly difficult to find evidence while on the run, when the answers are within the castle walls themselves
but you push those thoughts aside as you two enter halsburg, the princeâs hood pulled up over his face
you do the bulk of the purchases, less likely to be recognised by the townspeople
itâs mainly food and water for yourself, the prince, and his horse, and a simple tunic to replace his royal pajamas - something you have been teasing him about since you woke up
later that night, hours away from the outskirts of halsburg, you two settle for a couple hours of rest
a small fire crackles away to the song of the cicadas, an occasional pop as the licks of flames cast shadows across your faces
you glance at the prince sitting across from you, who is idly fiddling with his pajama top
specifically, the royal crest of the song family embroidered onto its front pocket
your heart clenches painfully, knowing the death of a family member is hard enough to process without the additional weight of being framed for murder, much less by your own brother who is the real culprit
âprince mingiâŠâ you start, voice low
he glances up at you, eyes softening as he curves his lips up into a small smile, âiâm okay.â
you hesitate for a split second before letting the clench in your gut pull you to your feet, and you shuffle to settle back down in front of the fire, except this time beside the prince
all the while his eyes never leave you, not even when you nudge his shoulder softly and say,
âyou donât have to be strong. not in front of meâŠâ
and he knows
because despite the differences in your social statuses, you are the person he trusts the most
you, the girl who used to trip over the lengths of his robes that you carried, now a woman who holds herself righteously and bravely
you, who chose to risk your own life from the moment you woke him up in his chambers
you, who is still risking your life to flee with him
âonly if you stop calling me prince,â he jokingly nudges you back, attempting to make the atmosphere lighter despite the wetness that is starting to paint his eyes. âwith you, i am just mingiâ
âokay, prince mingi,â you tease
yet, you still extend a hand out to him, palm upturned in a silent invitation for comfort should he wish to seek it, because you can tell that he isnât quite ready to seek it verbally
mingi laces his larger fingers through yours, tucking your interlocked hands closer to his body as he draws his knees up so that he can rest his chin upon them
mingi thinks that he feels numb more than anything, but he finds he isnât as surprised as one would expect him to be
perhaps he always knew of his middle brotherâs thirst for the throneÂ
he just never thought it would be enough to spill blood
for now though, he lets himself be distracted by your thumb tracing mindless patterns against his knuckles
he lets himself relish in the heat radiating from your side that seems to warm him from inside out, even as the embers of the fire slowly lose their glow and die out with the darkening night
the days start to repeat themselves
you two cover as much distance as you can while sparing what time you can afford for yourselves and mingiâs horse to rest
mingi has decided to travel to prince yunho's kingdom, an old and trusted ally who may be able to provide you two with protection while he pulls strings to fight back against prince eun
from his calculations, the journey will take at least another two weeks
and although mingi doesnât tell you this, deep down he does not know whether you two have two weeks left
the threat of the royal guards catching up hangs over the two of you like a hangmanâs noose
neither of you have brought up that night by the fire either
but something has definitely changed in the way you seek comfort and reassurance in each other
as if so long as you have each other, everything will be alright in the end
when you feel him tremble as he sleeps curled around you, restless from a plaguing nightmare, you hush sweet nothings and brush his locks away from his forehead until his breathing steadies out again
and when youâre seated on the saddle in front of him, you now having long grown accustomed to horse riding, he still finds himself resting a comforting hand on you somewhere - your hips, thigh or over your own hand
sometimes when he is laughing softly with you, your arms brushing against each other, you imagine a different story; one where you are worthy of loving him
sometimes when you are tucked into his chest, small exhales escaping your open lips as you sleep, mingi imagines a different story; one where he is able to love you freely
because despite the blood running through his veins that has ultimately led to his downfall, you still look at him as though he has placed the stars in the very sky that you two have spent countless nights under
and although he knows the reality is that he cannot, he tries to write his own story, even if just for tonight
you are lying in his arms, legs tangled together, when the question comes tumbling out of his lips
âwill you stay with me, forever?â
he feels you still in his embrace, before youâre pulling back a little to look at him with a chuckle
âyou should be asking a princess that, prince mingi, not somebody like meâ
âyou are a princess in my eyesâ
you canât help the endearing look that crosses over your face as you lightly tap his nose, âyou know that is not how it worksâ
âthen we can run away. for i am already as good as dead to my kingdom,â he tells you with boyish determination
âyou cannot, mingi. your people need a good princeâ
âbut what prince would i be if i cannot even boldly love you? the person who is dearest to me?â
under his sincere gaze and the weight of his words, you allow him this moment of solace
because perhaps, you want it just as much as he does
âokay, iâll be your princess,â you breathe out
âforever?â
âforeverâ
that night, it is just you and mingi - no titles that separate your world from his, no looming threat of death - just two people in love
even as an uneasy pit settles at the bottom of mingiâs stomach, a growing feeling that gnaws away at him into the early hours of the next morning
he is startled awake, your expression frightened, and he immediately understands when he hears the thunderous chorus of hooves hitting the ground towards you two
mingi had known there was not much time left, but he did not think that the inevitable confrontation would happen this soon, only mere hours after the soft kiss he had pressed against your forehead
the desperate attempt to escape once more is futile, the royal guards closing the distance within minutes
left with no choice but to stop, you and mingi demount and the guards move to flank you both in a wide semicircle
when the head of the guards, prince eun, saunters forward, mingi matches with a stride of his own so that he can step in front of you
âyou killed the crown prince, eun,â mingi spits at his brother
ârunning and denying your actions up until your very last moments, i see,â prince eun laughs condescendingly. âand you even took a little dog with you, tooâ
mingi presses you closer to his back, hiding you from the leering gaze of his brother
prince eun smiles smugly at mingiâs reaction, before he takes out a scroll and unravels it
âfor high treason of the assassination of the crown prince, the king hereby decrees the immediate revocation of nobility of his third son, song mingi, and for the execution of song mingi and his maid upon sighting.â
you press your nose into mingiâs back, taking one last inhale of his familiar scent
the bowmen all take aim as prince eun sneers, âany last words, brother?â
mingi turns around, and all you can see in that moment are his warm eyes and dimpled cheeks
âi love you, my princess,â he proclaims
âforever,â you reply
he brings his lips down to connect them with yours, drowning out the distinct vibration of loosening strings and the hiss of flying arrows with the roaring symphony in your hearts
youâre unsure what pain swallows you whole first - the pain as an arrowhead sinks into your chest, or the pain as you realise that this is the end of your short-lived love with mingi
you struggle to keep the smile on your face as you lock eyes with mingi, trying to memorise the loving gaze that adorns his own face
you see his mouth moving, but the pain exploding throughout your body is too loud for you to make out his words
with your last breath, you gasp out your final confession, âi love you too, mingi. weâll meet again in the next lifeâ
as the world starts to fade away, cold creeping into your limbs, you hope that in another story, in another lifetime, you and mingi will be able to find each other again
wooyoung
pov: you're the princess of a rival kingdom
âabsolutely not, advisor lee,â your mother raises her nose in the air
âyour highness, i understand but-â
âoh please, do not flatter yourself, queen cho,â queen jung spits out, âyou are not the only one who abhors the ideaâ
you glare at the prince sitting across from you, your own gazes reflecting the tension in the room
advisor lee has suggested that your family and the jung family host a joint royal ball as a grand display of amity between the two neighbouring kingdoms, particularly between the princess - yourself - and their prince - prince wooyoung
there have been spreading rumours in town of the strained relationship between the two royal families
which arenât entirely untrue
as a child, the two kingdoms have been loyal and steadfast in their alliance and friendship
in fact, it is not uncommon to find you joining prince wooyoung in his kitchen, begging the chefs to let you two lick the spoons
or to find prince wooyoung squatting next to you in your garden as you both look at the ladybugs
but as power imbalances emerge and political agendas start to diverge, a wedge is driven between your families
the relation is now dangerously close to severing completely, but not without the increasing attention of the towns surrounding the two kingdoms
and one of the last things both royal families need is unease and disunity amongst the commoners
which brings advisor lee to look on with exasperation as he tries to do his job - advise
except neither your mother nor queen jung look ready to accept his advice
your father nods slightly at the two of you, âyou are dismissed, as are you, prince wooyoungâ
you curtsy as the prince takes a slight bow, before you obnoxiously flick your hair over your shoulder and turn away on your heels
you escape to the garden, knowing that the meeting will take at least another hour before you are required to bid the jung family farewell
except, surprise surprise
who do you run into
you narrow your eyes at prince wooyoung as he steps towards you, who has one eyebrow quirked, âa royal ball, he says?â
âabsolutely not,â you fold your arms across your chest
âoh please, do not flatter yourself, princess,â he sneers, not dissimilar to the nasally tone his mother had voiced her dissatisfaction earlier with
neither of you back down, daring the other to say something else
before you two break out into giggles, eyes glittering scandalously
âdid you see your mother deliberately pass the salt instead of sugar for the tea?â
âand then the face my mother made when she took a sip of it-â
he pulls you to crouch behind an azalea bush as you both chortle like children, out of sight, before he brings you in for a dizzying kissÂ
you sigh, resting a hand on his chest
âdo you also abhor the idea of dancing with me, prince wooyoung?â a teasing lilt in your voice
âabsolutely,â he nods grimly, âwhy go to all that effort when there is a much grander and longer-lasting solution?â
âand what is that, my prince?â
he sneaks another chaste kiss from your lips, âfor me to take your hand in marriage, my princessâ
at his words, your smile dampens
âyou know that i would say yes in a heartbeat. it is not i who needs convincing, but our parentsâ
because despite the growing hostility between your two families, the relationship you share with wooyoung has, ironically, blossomed into one of well-concealed adoration, intimacy and love
you two have come to learn that that one slightly lighter stone on the western side of your kingdomâs outer walls comes loose, and is the perfect size for slipping a piece of paper behind it
you two have also come to learn that every fourth week, if you ask your personal tutor enough questions about the plants laid out on the storeâs table in front of you during your scheduled lesson in town, youâll be able to drag it out long enough for you both to just catch a glimpse of each other as he and his escorts cut through the town on their way back to his kingdom
and of course, you two have come to learn the most isolated spots in your own respective kingdoms, like the second stairwell leading down to the cellar in wooyoungâs palace
and amongst the azalea bushes in the back garden in yours
which is exactly how you knew that he would appear, how you knew that he would give you those sweet kisses you have been craving so desperatelyÂ
as wooyoung cups your jaw to kiss you once more, one that leaves you wanting to chase his lips forever, he bets you that itâll only take two weeks of close-quarter meetings between your royal families before one of your mothers blow up and the ball idea falls through completely
in response, you bet him that they wonât even last two weeks - one at the most
except youâre both wrong
the meeting turns into two, followed by several more as the planning goes ahead
sometimes, the meetings are held in the jung palace
other times, their family journeys to your kingdom instead
one thing that stays constant is the malevolence in the air
the parents are sarcastic snipes and saccharine smiles
and on the surface, you and wooyoung are further extensions of your own parentsâ simmering loathing for the other
but under the intricately-carved wooden table, you two are playing footsies, jeweled heels and leather shoes engaged in a playful fight
you see how many times you can slide your heels up along his shin, gradually inching closer towards his inner thigh with each coquettish touch
he has you pass him anything and everything under the guise of forgoing the help of the numerous royal butlers and maids around the room to deliberately irritate you
really, it is to accidentally brush his fingers over your hands; to see the pretty shade of rose that settles over your cheeks and ears as you both try not to break out into giggles
and perhaps, during the meals that may take place during the meetings, there have been a couple of peas flicked at each other here and there when no one is paying attention
(unbeknownst to you two, the maids and butlers alike must hide their own endearing smiles)
the weeks turn into months and you practically have a permanent glow radiating from you, now that you have been seeing the prince so frequently
(which also does not go unnoticed)
as you select a necklace from the assortment of choices to emphasise the plunging neckline of your off-shoulder gown, you wonder how the day of the royal ball has arrived so quickly
your personal maid, jihye, carefully fixes the clasp of the necklace around you before stepping back to let you look in the mirror
you smooth a hand over the soft lavender charmeuse of your dress, nervously looking at jihye
âhow do i look?â
âstunning, my princess,â she assures you, before adding, âprince wooyoung will definitely love itâ
âprin- he- what? i- sorry?â you say unintelligibly, before you try to salvage the situation by tucking a lock of hair behind your ear as you laugh her off
but jihye just looks at you knowingly
meanwhile, prince wooyoung is already at the grand hall, the jung family having arrived two days prior for the final preparations of the ball
he and his friends, princes from kingdoms located further up north and towards the east, are lingering around one of the tables decorated with flower arrangements and elaborate candle holders, ignoring the longing glances of other attendees, women and men alike, thrown at their striking posse
wooyoung is trying to keep his gaze subtle, scanning the vast number of people at the ball without craning or turning his head, searching for one particular face
yours
prince yeosang nudges the others, jerking his chin to motion towards the distracted wooyoung
when wooyoung finally realises he isnât as subtle as he thinks, all his friends are already looking at him with varying degrees of smirks
âjust know that if there were not so many people here,â wooyoung begins with a pleasant smile, âi would flip you all off right nowâ
before he can try stepping on his friendsâ toes in the form of petty revenge, prince seonghwa points towards the entrance as his smile grows impossibly wider
âlookâ
wooyoung turns around
and like any typical man who is head over heels in love, the world around him slows down
the gushing whispers spreading throughout the ballroom fade into the background
because finally, there you are, gracefully stepping past the threshold of the arched doorway in all your alluring beauty, accentuated by the way your curled locks and flowing gown frame your body
for the briefest moment, you lock eyes with him, and wooyoung feels his brain shutting down on him
âyouâre going to catch a fly in your mouth, wooâ
âpick up your jaw. itâs on the groundâ
prince yunho pretends to dab wooyoungâs mouth with the ruffled sleeves of his cream shirt, âyouâre drooling, darlingâ
at that, wooyoung smacks his lips dazedly before coming to a moment of realisation, blinking hard twice to bring himself back to reality
âgod, youâre hopeless. just go up and talk to her,â prince hongjoong snickers. âthe whole point of this ball is to show off how âcloseâ your families are anywayâ
wooyoung grumbles that he knows, heâs just looking for the right timing
which, unfortunately, does not seem to come
you spend what feels like the next two hours being whisked around, feigning polite interest as you are forced to engage in dull and bland conversations with numerous men of differing royal statuses, all of whom are no doubt trying to make an impression on you in hopes of becoming a potential suitor in the future
not that you have eyes for anyone apart from the one who already has your heart
the very same person who is currently fed up with watching you converse and let your hands be kissed by men who are not him
even if he knows you are pretending, he thinks that you sure are damn good at giggling at all the right times
you are trying not to let your smile turn into a grimace as the older-aged man, lord ryu you think, boasts of his wealth to you, when wooyoung enters your peripheral vision
âprincess, lord ryu,â he greets you both, before looking down at the latter, âpardon me as i take the princess for a danceâ
lord ryu, visibly irked but unable to say anything to the prince of significantly higher status, lets go of your hand to step back into a bow, âof course, prince wooyoungâ
you giggle, this time genuinely, as wooyoung takes your hand to gently lead you towards the center of the ballroom, where several others are starting to waltz to the soft music that is now playing
you rest a hand just below his shoulder, feeling the sturdiness of his muscles flexing beneath his shirt, as he places his other hand to settle on the dip of your waist
a little possessively, you might add
âyou look beautiful today,â he murmurs lowly, away from any prying ears
âonly today?â you quirk an eyebrow teasingly
his voice drops down an octave, âwell itâs not every day that i can tell you, princessâ
wooyoungâs eyes flicker down hungrily to look at your lips
you run your tongue slowly over your bottom lip, knowing it will drive him absolutely crazy that he cannot just take you right there and then in front of everybody
and you can see the moment his resolve snaps
âmeet me for some fresh air in ten,â bringing his lips as close to the shell of your ear as he dares
and then heâs gone
you become progressively antsy as you wait out a generous amount of time after he leaves for you to also slip away from the ballroom
wooyoung pins you against a pillar as soon as you emerge in the garden, aching to kiss you and fight for dominance until youâre both breathless and light-headed
âyou donât know how desperately i wanted to kiss you in front of everyone - let the whole world know that youâre mine,â he nips at your bottom lip
you rest your hands on his chest, fingers curled around the pleated front of his satin shirt to hold yourself steady as he turns your lips into an artwork of swollen cherry reds
he tilts your head back a little more, your mouths moving in tandem, soft moans drawn out of you, when-
âwhat in godâs name is going on?â
you and wooyoung startle apart at the shriek
the blush dusting your faces pale almost immediately at the sight of not just your mother, but also queen jung and a few of the royal staff
itâs kind of amusing that of all things for the two queens to have the same mindset about, it is the discovery of you and wooyoungâs secret relationship that unites them, both sharing twin expressions of horror and revulsion
youâre ripped from each otherâs arms as you are forced back into the confines of your bed chamber, royal ball long forgotten
your only solace is learned later that night, when jihye brings a trolley of food you have no appetite for, that the jung family have not yet returned to their kingdom
they are still in your palace somewhere
yet that does little to soothe your tears, overwhelmed by the drastic turn of events, and you do not know when you fall asleep that night
all you know is that it is to a bed too cold and a longing in your heart too gaping to ignore
âprincess,â you look up to see jihye standing at your door the next morning, almost apologetic, âthe king and queen request for your presence in the throne roomâ
as you approach the room after tidying your appearance, your breath hitches when you spot him just by the double doors
you barrel forwards into his waiting arms, uncaring of the staff following behind you
not that they have the heart to stop you either way
âi thought you would have been forced to leave,â you blurt, unable to believe that wooyoung is right in front of you
âiâm still here,â he chuckles. âi have been summoned by your parentsâ
your heart drops down to your stomach at his words as you realise what this meeting is about
âand i am glad they did, princess,â wooyoung is quick to interject before your apology makes it past the tip of your tongue. âi am going to ask for your hand in marriage. officiallyâ
âwhat if they banish us from ever seeing each other again?â worry overwhelms you as your breathing quickens
wooyoung gently laces his fingers through yours, bringing up his other hand to cup your face and run his thumb comfortingly over the curve of your cheekbone to keep you grounded
âno matter what happens today, no matter what the outcome is,â he looks at you with the fierce determination of a man ready to give up anything and everything for your sake, âi will never ever stop fighting for youâ
he presses his soft lips against yours
âfor us,â he vows
your breathing evens out, and while your heartbeat still pounds inside your ribcage, you know that it marches in rhythm with the man in front of you
this time, not afraid to appear in front of the rulers of your kingdoms - your parents - you and wooyoung nod in reassurance at each other once more, hand in hand, before you both push the doors to the throne room open
together.
jongho
pov: you're under his protection as your royal guard
over the din of volunteered names in the meeting room, jongho steps forward
âyour majesty, i will accompany the princess,â he declares
âchoi jongho?â your father scans him up and down with regard before nodding in approval, âit is decided thenâ
âhim? surely i need another person with me as well?â you protest
your father quirks an eyebrow at you, a subtle reminder that whilst he is your father, he is also the king
âno, you will need to travel in disguise and stay as discreet as possible. only jongho will accompany you as your royal guardâ
your father looks away and starts to address the next item on the meeting agenda; it is quite clear there is no room for argument
meanwhile, jongho sidles up to you
âyou trying to catch bugs or something? close your mouth, princess,â he teases under his breath
you nudge him with an elbow, âyouâre the only bug i see around hereâ
he rolls his eyes but you both snicker in unison when one of your older sisters turns around to shush you with a dirty look
regardless, you stay silent for the rest of the meeting
youâre not sure why jongho stepped forward to take on this task
because for someone who is your main royal guard and is supposed to be loyal and obedient, he sure makes it clear that his job is about as gratifying as babysitting
(âyou canât talk to me like that. iâm the princessâ)
(âno, youâre not. youâre an idiotâ)
in fact, when you had been notified a few days prior that you would be traveling with one other royal guard - who had yet to be decided at the time - jongho had spent every single day gloating that he would finally get a break from babysitting you
and yet here he is
with the opportunity to hand you off to somebody else
but instead, baring his teeth at the other guards who offer themselves up for this scouting mission
he would never admit to it either, but jongho personally spoke to the king years ago about being rostered on as your main bodyguard since heâs âknown the princess for the longest and so i can protect her the bestâ
you donât want to travel to the border
youâre in charge of maintaining security and defense along your borders and with neighbouring kingdoms, usually dealing with complications remotely through the ministers and advisors who work for you
this time though, there has been recent unrest near the southern borders of your kingdom near denport, a city notorious for bandits and fugitives
the situation has worsened with increased risk of bloodshed, thus has the need for you to survey the borders in person
and as the youngest sibling of five, the king has made it very clear that this is your opportunity to prove your capabilities
jongho makes sure to remind you of this fact when you grumble your way through packing a satchel of essential items to take with you
(âyour fluffy slippers are not essential, princessâ)
(you listen and throw them back onto the floor of your bedchambers, but stuff in a few paperweights when he isnât looking out of petty revenge because you know heâll end up carrying your bag for you later when you ask him to)
itâs a relatively long journey to denport, so as soon as you are ready, jongho having long finished packing his own bag, you leave your kingdom with him at your side
by the time the sun is starting to set later that day, youâre passing through a small town
he suggests calling it a night and recuperating at one of the inns
you wait while he inquires about available rooms and then follow him through a small alleyway to the inn that he has chosen for the night
you take all but one look at the rotting wood and creaking sign at the entrance before you are crossing your arms like a petulant child
âthereâs no way iâm staying the night in this sorry excuse of an innâ
he merely blinks
âyouâre technically not the princess right now so you better listen to me or god help me, iâll-â
âyouâll what,â you challenge, nose-to-nose
or nose-to-throat, you suppose
but before you can dwell any further on your height difference, jongho picks you up, slings you over his shoulder like you are nothing more than a sack of potatoes, and walks into the inn without a care in the world that you are screaming bloody murder
you resign to your fate and flop uselessly against his back as he carries you up the stairs
instead, when he throws you onto the bed upon entering the room, you look up at him sultrily and smirk, âooh, now iâm turned onâ
jongho shakes his head with exasperation but you donât miss the redness that is creeping up the back of his neck as he turns around to close the door shut
âwait,â you sit up on the bed, âweâre sharing a room?â
âitâs safer. iâll sleep on the sofaâ
you scrunch your nose at the arrangement, but you do admittedly feel a little more at ease in the unfamiliar room of the inn
you start to take a shoe off before a thought flits through your mind and you point the shoe in your hand at him like a weapon, âyou better not snoreâ
jongho rolls his eyes as he steps forward to take the shoe out of your hand, and then he is bending down to help slip off the shoe from your other foot
a thank you lies on the tip of your tongue
âyouâre the only snorer in this room, princessâ
nevermind.
itâs gone.
youâre settled in bed, waiting for jongho to finish washing up and turn off the lights, when you spot it
holy shit
your immediate reaction is to seek his protection
âjongho!â
the door to the bathroom swings open almost immediately as he rushes out, eyes alarmed, alert, and zeroing onto you
water drips off the ends of his hair and you can still spot suds on his exposed torso
âwhatâs wrong? are you okay? are you hurt?â his voice is laced with restrained panic
you point to the corner of the room and then he sees it too
his body stiffens completely
because, mere metres from the two of you, presence sinister and dangerousâŠ
is a fucking spider
all is quiet and still for a while, your eyes flickering back and forth between your royal guard and the spider in a tense standoff
then, just as you are about to speak up, jongho grabs his bag and swiftly turns on his heels to head towards the roomâs door
âwhere are you going?!â you shriek
he looks at you forlornly from over his shoulder, âto prepare for my executionâ
âwhat the fuck are you on about, jongho?â
âfor abandoning my duties and failing to protect you. farewell, princess. you are on your own from here-â
his sentence is cut short as the spider scuttles towards him
and that is how you two, disguised, but still a royal princess and royal guard no less, are given an eviction warning because he streaked through the corridors of the inn half naked and screaming at the top of his lungs
needless to say, the innkeeper ends up having to remove the spider for the two of you
âyouâre so embarrassing,â you whisper to him once you two are finally settled in bed and on the sofa
âno, iâm jongho,â he cackles
you donât humour him with a response, but you know he snickers himself to sleep that night
you canât help but let the corner of your lips tug up as well
a few days later after leaving the town, you two are resting side by side against a tree trunk when you decide to grace jongho with the opportunity to redeem himself
heâs currently halving a sandwich so you two can share
âif i were trapped in a forest full of spiders and you were the only person who could save me,â you ask gravely, âwhat would you do?â
without missing a beat, he replies, âprepare to grieve your death and make sure your pet cat is well fed in your honourâ
he passes you the bigger sandwich as you turn to look at him with the most scandalised expression
âcan you at least pretend to think for a bit?â you grumble
thereâs a hint of a smile on jonghoâs face when he apologises, âokay, sorry. ask me againâ
you hit him with a different scenario this time
âif you had to fight a giant spider who had taken me hostage, what would you do?â
he hums thoughtfully for a few seconds, unscrewing a canteen of water for you and placing it by your side
âi would say, she is all yours, your spidery majesty, and then i would bow and walk awayâ
âfuck you,â you shove him good-naturedly with your shoulder
he swipes the canteen before you can knock it over and presses it into your smaller hand instead, giving it a quick pat as he dismisses your insult, âsure, if you think you can handle my dickâ
âlike they say,â you waggle your eyebrows at him as your voice drops down lower, âpractice makes perfectâ
jonghoâs stoic facade finally cracks when you lean in closer and he hurries to stand up and put some distance between you and him
he shifts his legs subtly, clearing his throat to say, âwe should go, denport is closeâ
when youâve finished off the last of your sandwich, you dust off your fingers and grab jonghoâs offered hand to stand up too
âletâs goâ
one thing you have both noticed is that the closer you get to the border between your kingdom and denport, the quieter and thicker the atmosphere seems to get
the small towns you pass through have less people roaming around; in fact, most people seem to flee back into the refuge of their own houses, locking their doors and closing their windows when they catch sight of your pair
and then it happens
your plan goes awry
you and jongho are harshly awoken by a commotion outside the small room you have rented for the night
thereâs a sickening smell accompanied by wails of grief in the air
when you rush outside, all you can see is a huge crowd of people gathered and your ears strain to pick up on the broken hushes of information being thrown around
âhis son is lucky to have been sparedâ
âlucky to have seen his father slaughtered by bandits?â
âi heard it wasnât money that they were after, thoughâ
âthose damned denport devils are up to somethingâ
thatâs all you pick up on before jongho snatches your arm and leads you back into the inn, telling you that itâs too dangerous to be out there; too dangerous for you two to continue traveling
which leads to the very first argument you ever have with him
you two butt heads all the time with your own fiery fronts and hardheadedness but more often than not, he yields to you
youâre facing him in the dim room - it is shadier than that first inn you two made a stop at weeks ago, but youâre both sharing one room just like you two have done at every single inn since
âwe need to go check it out!â you shout at him
jongho takes a shaky breath as he tries to keep his voice even, âno, we should go back to our kingdom, report on the situation and call for backup!â
you throw your hands up into the air, âweâre already here - weâre basically at denport! what if something blows up soon? it might be too late by the time we go backâ
jongho steps in closer as his eyes narrow
you donât cower because you know he would never hurt you, but you do step backwards because you donât think you can keep a clear head when he is standing so close to you, proximity dizzying like the buzz of alcohol
âof all times for you to play hero and do something that you werenât asked to, why now? why put yourself in danger?â
your back hits the wall as jongho corners you
your chest heaves, as does his, both of you overwhelmed with emotions
he holds your gaze but his eyes are rounded with agony and distress
you donât understand why he is so against your decision
you donât know what to say, until your eyes flicker down involuntarily at the movement of his lips parting to exhale-
âdamn, jongho, your lips are real chapped. you should use some of my lip balmâ
he blinks hard at the absurdity of what you chose to say
he looks at your lips
he makes a decision
âthen give me some of yours,â he says, a little breathless
and then heâs pressing his chapped lips against your smooth ones, the taste of coconut filling your mouth as your lip balm smears
suddenly, he pulls back with the audacity to look shocked as if you are the one who kissed him
and then he leaves the room without another word
he doesnât return that night and you donât manage to sleep either
you wonder when you started becoming used to falling asleep with him in the same room
jongho clears his throat awkwardly when you open the door in the morning and find him leaning against the wall just by the doorframe
youâre not sure whether he came back not too long ago from god knows where, or whether he was actually standing guard outside all night
you think you know which one it is, even if he doesnât confirm it
âweâre checking out,â he mumbles, shuffling briskly into the room to grab his few belongings he had left and exiting the room again with you trailing behind
neither of you say much more to each other
you think that heâs going to lead you back the way you two came, lead you back and undo the weeksâ worth of journeying and go back to the castle
but then heâs sighing, deep and burdened, and he gently takes your hand to continue on towards denport
heâs never held your hand before
not like this, at least, tenderly tugging you along with every step so that you are no more than a few inches away from his side
you want to bicker with him and chortle together like usual but you keep quiet, giving him the space that he appears to need even if he is physically ensuring you are tucked right into his side
you two walk until the sun has dipped below the horizon
from what you know, you are right along the southern border and denport will only be another half dayâs walk away
jongho makes a small bonfire before he joins you to lean against a fallen log
he shimmies off his coat and drapes it over your legs and then the forest also settles into silence along with you both
itâs now or never
âwhy are you so against us going to the border?â you ask him
he runs his fingers through his hair
an unruly tuft of hair stays upright and you fold your arms to stop yourself from reaching out and smoothening it for him
he looks at you as he says, âiâm fine with me going to the border, itâs you iâm not fine with. you do remember that iâm your royal guard, rightâ
âis that all there is to your reason,â you push, âthat youâre my guard?â
you both know youâre referring to more than just the argument itself
jonghoâs gaze breaks away, looking ahead at the flames of the fire instead
he is silent
for once, jongho is unarmed; no immediate snark or teasing remark to toss back at you
you hear him swallow and take a breath
âiâŠi donât know,â he starts. âall i know is that with each passing day, the more i want to keep you safeâ
jongho looks at you again, eyebrows drawn down ever so slightly
âwhy do you make me feel so worried?â
at his words, your heart clenches in an unfamiliar way and you attempt to lighten the mood, âmaybe you like meâ
âmaybe i doâ
oh.
with the reflection of the fire dancing in his eyes, it almost looks as though he is about to cry
âplease, donât go to the border, princess,â he begs softly
his plea remains unwavering and you find your heart doing the exact opposite
after a few seconds of silence, you say
âokay, jongho. i wonâtâ
the tension from his shoulders seeps out and he gently tugs you towards him so he can tuck you into his side once again
âyou promise that we turn around and go back tomorrow morning?â
you nod against the warmth of the crook of his neck, then murmur, âdo you think father will be disappointed in me? for returning?â
he rubs a hand up and down your arm soothingly
âof course not, princess. youâve already done so much more than you needed to. heâll be proud of youâ
and then he adds on, âjust like iâm proud of youâ
this is the first time anyone has ever really validated your efforts; being the youngest of a large family means you are often overshadowed
caught off guard, all you can do is whisper out, âthank you, jonghoâ
he hums and you feel his smile against the crown of your head
youâve never been drunk before, but you think that this is the closest you have ever gotten
you are intoxicated by him
âif youâre thankful,â the rumble of jonghoâs voice against your cheek is pleasant, âcan i ask for something?â
âwhatever you wantâ
he eases you from the comfort of his neck and tilts your chin up slightly with a finger, cheeky grin plastered across his face
âcan i have some more of your lip balm?â
#chron <3#MOOT MOOT#crying at how long it took me to reply to this reblog oop#AS ALWAYS#THE BIGGEST FATTEST MOST LOVING THANK YOU TO YOU#YOU MAKE ME LOVE MY WORKS#YOU MAKE ME LOVE WRITING#MWAH MWAH KITHES FOR YOU <33333333
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this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.
good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.
sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.
so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.
one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.
#warm up#writeblr#actually this is because again i don't go here#i don't read/write fanfic but i have nothing but respect for my troops#but i also have never played minecraft. im sorry. please ask me any question about pokemon tho i love that shit#anyway#out of some banal and thoughtless curiosity i watched the minecraft movie trailer#and again i know nothing about minecraft. i am aware im in an endangered population#but im watching this going: this is so fucking.... BAD#there is NO LOVE in it!#like if someone who has NO history in minecraft watches that and is like - ohhh this is soulless#WHO IS THE AUDIENCE????#ppl who love minecraft are gonna hate it!!!#at some point it's the ''mean girls musical movie'' problem --#some people will always hate the premise of what you're doing and some people will love it#make it for the ppl who love it#and usually that somewhat convinces the haters to like. chill enough to TRY it . bc it IS good#but when you try to make it for the haters..... nobody likes it. it doesn't have passion. energy. footwork#which is a small way of saying a big thing: if you love something. fucking make it and assume someone will love it too.#i love u . be brave . be bold. be in boston and come to my reading#where i wrote a really weird fucked up little book.#love u love u love u etc
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i finally finished reading I see you, Sundrop! by @shirajellyfish and IT'S SO GOOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO FINISH IT RAAAAAAA
i will be gushing about it in the tags but here's a lil animation i made based on the below paragraph in chapter 6 that gave me such a strong mental image that i had to make it real :)
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sun#i see you sundrop#doodle dump#dynamic dump#ITâS SOO GOOD YâALL ITâS AWESOME IT MAKES ME AHDKLSLLLFJSL#one of my favorite fics for sure. it ticks off all the boxes of things i like in a story itâs crazy#the way the animatronics are described⊠their funky ways of thinkingâŠ. the sheer amount of detail is just *explosion sounds*#riley leaning hard on âhow does a good friend act?â and growing as a person because of it IS EVERYTHING AUUUGH#I LOVE EVERY PART OF IT i will be rereading it so many times forever and ever itâs so GOOOOD!!!#thank you shira for writing and sharing such an awesome creation <3 <3 <3
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HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!
#tiger tiger#ludovica bonnaire#remy bonnaire#jamis arlesi#This comic has been on my radar for *years* and I only recently - finally - sat down to read it. And by god is it amazing.#I don't want to spoil anything! But if you like amazing art and character writing *and* high seas adventure? READ TIGER TIGER.#If you asked my who my favourite character is I could not tell you. I truly like them all!!!#I even like the sleezeball who has less charm than a dead rat. He's *my* darling little rat man. With every disease.#A special shout out to my lad (he is the lad of all time) Jamis Arlesi.#Who - upon walking into frame makes me go 'Sir! Is your bosom too heavy? Do you need a new bra? My hands are free on Thursdays!'#And Ludo! My lass! I love her dearly! Every page made me more fond of her.#Book smart and uses it in very good ways! Naive enough to think it is all she needs! Learns a lot and stays kind through the horrors!#I could go on and on but...you...the person reading this...you *are* going to read it - aren't you?#So I'd hate to spoil you any more! Go read Tiger Tiger! Do it! For the sea sponges!#Rumour has it they are also freshly divorced. It was messy. Sea sponge needs a distraction. That could be you. Distracting that sponge.#You wont know until you click that link and start reading!
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I enjoyed every second of this quest
[This art has platonic intention. Thank you for not tag ship!]
#my art#genshin impact#genshinimpact#tighnari#genshin impact tighnari#daily tighnari#cyno#genshin impact cyno#please do not tag as ship thank you#i have too much words but nothing came out from my mouth#i. i love it so much đđđđđđ#i am way too lazy to write everythin abt it#but gOSH WHEN SOME OF MY BRAINROT/HC BECOMES CANON#NO SPOILER BUT ?!?!?! EVERYTHING ABT THIS QUEST MAKES ME SO HAPPY#sethos ?!?!!! i love him. i need more cyno sethos interaction#i am so sleepy from work oh gosh but i already had idea for sethos comic/fanarr#SETHOS I HOPE HE ENJOYS CYNO'S PUNS#oh i swear if he laughs at cyno's jokes it IS SO OVER FOR ME#and WE GOT THE WHOLE CYNO FRIENDS I-#tighnari. can i talk abt tighnari.#no i wont i am lazy.#good night to them
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(what the. who threw a wife plot device in the middle of a peak lord meeting)
i thought about this bit at the end of the airplane extras the other day. bro why are you looking at your coworkers like that rn
#comic: truth artifact#a silly thing while executive dysfunction is preventing me from writing anything#shang qinghua#wei qingwei#svsss#svsss fanart#uhh imagine this set pre-canon or pre-abyss#artifact would have attached to every person in a nearby area and slowly prodded at their minds until they forced a secret out#for it to satiate itself with#so either you tell it something willingly or it forces something out of you#yqy went first to settle his martial siblings trust that its safe#yqy said something like.#âi was too weak to make due on a promise. i wish i was stronger back thenâ with a glare from both mqf and sqq#sqq would probably say the vaguest thing possible that counted as a âdeepest secretâ to meet the conditions set#this goes for sj and sy#side thing:#i love when truth serum stuff in fics just makes sqq and sqh say the wildest shit
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hawkeye and trapper get fake septums
(id under the cut)
[image id: a three-page digital comic about characters from the TV show MASH, illustrated by "druid-for-hire." On page 1, frank burns squints at Hawkeye from a short distance, who is next to Trapper, who is reading a newspaper that obscures his face. "Pierce," Burns asks, "what's on your face?" Hawkeye turns to face him, revealing a septum piercing. "what's what, Frank?" he asks. Shocked and affronted by this breach in army regulations, he shouts, "I can't!! Believe you!! It's not enough for you to disagrace the army uniform by being out of it all the time? You have to go and--and do that! You look like a punk! Or a cow!"
On page 2, Hawkeye, unbothered, replies "Y'know, Frank, I'm finally living up to the Pierce name. I was thinking about going for some ear tag earrings. Maybe I can get a nurse to pull my udders." Frank howls, "That's disgusting!" Turning to Trapper he shouts, "Did you have anything to do with this, McIntyre?" Trapper pulls down the newspaper to reveal that he's wearing three septum rings and says, "I sure did! He stole my look!"
On page 3, Frank says "You're both terrible. Both of your butts are going on report!" while Hawkeye takes out his apparently fake septum ring behind his back. "Report for what, Frank?" he asks; Frank turns to see that the piercing is now missing. "Yeah, what's the matter, Frank?" Trapper says, whose piercing is suddenly missing as well. Frank storms off, yelling "Neither of you can pull the wool over my eyes!! Just wait until General Barker hears about this!" Some time later, Frank is standing next to General Barker, pointing at Hawk. "General, I'm telling you, the hole is THERE!" he shouts. "Go and take a look in those nostrils for yourself!" There is a long and awkward pause. The General did not like that. Hawkeye remarks, "Gee Frank, take a girl to dinner first." end id]
#mash#m*a*s*h#mashblr#mash tv#mash 4077#mashposting#hawkeye pierce#trapper john mcintyre#frank burns#my art#edit: i love when people in the tags are like ''i love how you draw frank''#bc the way i draw frank is ''barely''#this is not a dig on myself this is an observation of the fact#that somehow he lost what little detail he had and became a large vaguely man-shaped hat#also the fun part about writing his dialogue was that i could add as much punctuation as i wanted#to make the spacing work. lol#also special shoutout to my buddy for helping me workshop the jokes n dialogue
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Family Dinners - dpxdc
"Holy shit, you're Bruce Wayne!" Danny gaped, jabbing a finger at the man sitting at the head of the table.
The bustling dining room goes silent as everyone turns to look at him.
"Danny, who did you think was going to be here?" Tim asks, disbelief plain in his voice and Danny feels his face flush red.
"Sorry, I, uh, I guess I just never put it together. Tim Drake-Wayne. Wayne Manor. It, uh, makes sense now." He laughs sheepishly and scrubs at his neck before slumping back down into his chair.
"Well," Tim says with an indulgent sigh, "at least I know you're not just friends with me for my connections."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry, I just never thought about it, I guess."
Danny sinks lower as everyone around him laughs. Come to dinner, he said, the food is the best, he said, ignore the family, he said. Danny really wishes he'd listened to Tim and just ignored themâalmost as much as he's regretting accepting the offer in the first placeâbut... he's having dinner with Batman.
Ancients, that's so weird!
The last time he saw Batman was in the future and, suffice it to say, it was not going well. There hadn't really been time for family dinners there.
Wait. Family dinners?
He peers around the table, openly gawking at everyone as it all clicks into place.
"Everything alright, Danny? Now realising who everyone else is?" Tim asks with a roll of his eyes.
"Uh... something like that..." Danny mumbles as everyone laughs again.
From further down the table, the smallest Wayne scoffs and clicks his tongue.
"I thought you said he was smart, Drake?"
"So, you all do it, too, then?" he asks, ignoring the jibe. Danny's only a little bit jealous as he thinks of how much easier they must have it, how much easier it'd be if his family had been on his side, too. "You all work together?"
"Nah," Dick says from across the table with a brilliant grin. "Tim's the only one that works with Bruce, we all have different jobs. I'm a police officer in Bludhaven."
"Disgusting." Danny blurts out without thinkingâbecause seriously, what kind of self-respecting vigilante would also be a police officer?âbefore clapping a hand over his mouth. "Sorry."
The whole table laughs again, the loudest being the blonde girl a few spaces down from Dick. Look, Danny wasn't really paying attention to names when they were all paraded in front of him. Dick only gets remembered because his name is a joke.
Come on, Danny, recover!
"That's, uh, not what I meant, though."
"Oh?" Dick asks, cocking his head slightly to the side. Is it Danny's imagination or does his smile tense slightly?
"Yeah, I mean like, you know, in costume. It must make it so much easier to have everyone together like this."
"Costume? What do you mean?"
Yeah, Danny's not imagining it, everyone tenses up at that. It's really only now that he's realising that this probably isn't how he should bring up that he knows about their... night time activities. In fact, he probably shouldn't be bringing it up at all.
"Uuhhh..." Danny looks wildly around the table as he continues making his stupid noise. Think, think, think! There must be a way out of this!
"Danny?" Tim asks, looking concerned.
"Oh, Ancients, this isn't how I wanted it to go at all," he mutters, slipping even further into his chair. He's almost on the floor now and he so, so wishes it could just swallow him up.
His real first meeting with Batman was meant to be cool! He had planned to be Phantom, maybe save them from a tight spot, prove his worth as a mysterious and powerful ally as thanks for the help Batman gave him in the future.
"Danny, what are you talking about?" Tim starts tugging on his sleeve in an attempt to pull him back up from his pit of despair.
Eventually, Danny relents and sits up straighter, hiding his face in his hands and whining all the while.
"I'm sorry, I just didn't expect him to be here and it threw me off so now I look stupid and it's so embarrassing!" he wails, flailing his arms wide. "Why wouldn't you warn me that Batman was your adopted dad, Tim? Couldn't you have let me know?"
"I'm sorry, what? Danny are you alright? There's no way Bruce can be Batman, look at him!"
"Yeah," the blonde girl laughs from the bottom of the table, "look at him! That's a wet noodle of a man! Batman can actually do things, B is incapable of pretty much everything."
"Thank you, Stephanie," Bruce sighs, massaging his forehead.
It's... Those are the first words Danny's heard Batman say since everything went down and it's enough to knock him out of his embarrassment.
It's really good to hear his voice again. Especially now, when it's strong and healthy and full of personalityâeven if that personality is little more than a tired father right nowâfar better than how it had been, at the end.
Danny sits up, back straight, and grins. He's got this. He remembers it perfectly. Some people count sheep to fall asleep, Danny repeats his mantra to be certain that he'll never forget it.
"Gamma alpha upsilon tau iota mu epsilon, 42, 63, 28, 1 colon 65 dash 9."
Once again, the whole table falls into silence.
"Holy shit..." breathes the other D name (Duke? Danny's pretty sure he's Signal) from opposite Stephanie. "Isn't that...?"
"The time travelling code." The littlest Wayne says stiffly. "We have met in the future?"
"That's not just the time travelling code, Dami." Dick says, looking between Danny and Bruce. "That's the family time travelling code."
Danny's grin freezes in place.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"1 colon 65 dash 9." Dick explains, still flicking between him and Bruce. "It means you've been adopted into the family and we should all treat you as such, no questions asked."
"Tell you what, I'm about to ask a question." Danny says, dumbstruck. "You just told me it was a code to identify time travellers, not anything about being adopted! What the hell, B?"
Bruce looks about as shellshocked as Danny feels.
"We must have been close," he says finally, after opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water a few times.
"No! Not that close!" Danny reels back, taking a deep breath ready to refute it all, but... "Well, I mean, you found me when I first got stuck, and you helped me get better despite being... And then we fought together against the, uh, bad guy, before he, um, he... before you couldn't."
An uncomfortable beat passes while they all pick up on what Danny tried so hard not to say.
"So, you're not from the future, then, you travelled there and came back?" Tim asks, breaking the tension and leaning forward with a glint in his eye.
"Yeah, it was a whole end of the world thing, but don't worry about it," Danny says with a hand wave, "It's all kosher now, won't ever happen."
"What did happen?"
"Seriously, don't worry about it, we cool."
"How long in the future was it?"
"About ten years? You were pretty spry for an old man, B," Danny laughs, wishing they'd get off the topic of what happened and get back to the adoption bit.
Everyone shares degrees of a cautious smile as they relax out of the shock, and Dickâwhose grin is the biggestâsays, "No wonder you got the family code, you're already riffing on him like one of us. How long were you there for?"
"A week, before I managed to get back to my present and stop him then."
"A week? Jeez, B, that has to set some kind of record, seriously."
"Oh!" Danny says, sitting bolt upright and blinking in surprise before pointing at Dick and bouncing in his seat. "You're Nightwing!"
"What?"
"That's exactly what Nightwing said when Batman told me the code! Makes so much more sense now."
Dick laughs and claps his hands, delighted.
"You were not formally adopted?" The grumpy small oneâDami?âasks, his face pinched.
"I didn't even know I was informally adopted."
"And your parents? Are they alive or dead?"
"Damian, stopâ"
"They were dead in the future, but they're alive now." Danny says, looking down. He fiddles with the tablecloth, twisting the fabric around his fingers as he fights down the pang of sadness that he always feels when he thinks of them now. He forces a bright smile on his face and hopes it doesnât look too strained. "I just, uh, can't talk to them much, anymore."
"Damian," Dick warns, "1 colon 65 dash 9. Treat them as family, no questions asked."
"This is Damian treating him as family, the little turd has no manners." Tim scoffs, rolling his eyes, but he gently bumps shoulders with Danny to knock him out of his funk. Danny can't help but send him a watery smile.
"I have the most exemplary manners, Drake, unlike some people." Damian spits, crossing his arms with a pout. "I was merely ascertaining his status to see how he could possibly fit into the family."
"I know this is all a bit sudden, Danny," Bruce smiles, ignoring Damian and reaching out to lay a warm hand on his arm, "for all of us. But if I felt strongly enough to give you that code after spending a week with you in the future, then you are more than welcome in this family, if you so choose it. I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd like to get to know you a bit more."
"I know a threat when I hear it, Bruce." Danny snorts. "But, yeah, I get it. I'm sorry this is all so weird, it really wasn't how I wanted to find you again, but... I'm glad I did."
"So are we, Danny." Dick says, with a warm smile. "And formally or not, 1 colon 65 dash 9 means you're family. Welcome to the fun house! No take backs or refunds, sorry. You're stuck with us."
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#batpham#hailsatanacrabđŠđŠwrites#look. this has been in my mind for so long guys so long - and idk if its canon that the batfam have codes for time travel situations or what#but i feel like ive seen it before and if its not canon it should be#so here - how i think that would be funny to go down#i have so many thoughts about TUE and its place in a dpxdc crossover like holy shit there's so many ways it can go!!#i have another wip in the works thats kinda similar to this but with superman and i cannot wait to work on it again#there are so many ways i wanted this to go but i just couldnt get there - i wanted to keep it on the shorter side but like#perhaps ill have to expand#i just love the idea that like. theres a stranger at your table who knows you and knows you well. who knows the secret that youd die to keep#there's a stranger at your table and he says something and you know he's family. you know you're strangers but now...#now you have to be something more#oh man theres so many juicy ways it can go and I KNOW I DID NONE OF THEM#i want to write this whole plot again and make it angstier#(me with everything)#anyway! sorry love you all hope you enjoy it!!
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in honor of last seasonâs poem being called ââend poemââ (all quotes mandatory) this season i made one out of pieces of the actual end poem
#letting me just download the minecraft font? for free? a mistake#if you or a loved one have been suffering from RED TEXT you may be entitled to compensation#my art#god at this point i really do need a writing tag donât i#<- will continue not addressing this#secret life#goodtimeswithscar#grian#secret life spoilers#sorry tumblr user livvi3love for not making one with all the deaths again#if you (or anyone) did want to illustrate this one as well youâre more than welcome to but i am not expecting anything#i can do an explainer thing again like i did last time but that is for tomorrow#right now i am just. very tired#but for now i will confirm yes the colors Matter#i literally made this on accident against my will#i was trying to DRAW
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My page for @sheikahzine; about Impaz's duty to her village, empty of people and full of memories.
[id in alt text]
#legend of zelda#loz#twilight princess#loz tp#i'm still reeling that someone sent me an ask about this one.. that they took the time to find my tumblr and tell me they liked it#it really meant a lot; thank you to anyone that stops to leave comments like that. they make me happy#but yeah! here's the usual symbolism ramble:#i thought it'd be cool to have the 'spirits' flowing one way and the cats walking through them the other way#to kinda show the difference in life inhabiting the village in the past and present#link's face is covered because impaz was just waiting for 'the hero' so his clothes are what matters; not his face#and it (hopefully) gives a surreal and intangible sense to 'the hero' she could only hope would actually show up#you can feel free to interpret the glowy blue sheikah as ghosts or just as memories of the past! i couldn't decide either way#the one on the bottom left is oot impa since she's implied to be the village founder. so i guess she would be a ghost actually?#fan art#my art#project stuff#and ahhh the book-- everyone's stuff is so beautiful!!#especially the writing. some of the fics made me really tear up and some were so fun and clever. i really love them#a lot of them captured the sheer burden of the role of the sheikah; all of the time and grief and doubt#i know i always say this stuff about every project but. the people i get to work with in these are truly so skilled every time
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COME REST YOUR BONES NEXT TO ME ; SATORU GOJO, SUGURU GETO
synopsis; satoru shares the first snowfall of the year with the two people he loves most.Â
word count; 4.6k
contents; satoru gojo/reader/suguru geto (poly relationship!!), gn!reader, you're all whipped, reader referred to as spouse, fluff fluff fluff!!, sickeningly domestic, just comfy vibes all around, mostly from satoruâs pov, suguru has a favorite (its you) (but also not really he just likes bullying toru <3), satoru gojo may or may not have unresolved mommy issues
a/n; happy satosugu holidays to those who celebrate <33 geto died today isnt that crazy. dont u think its fucked up how love figuratively and literally killed him. anyway! help urself to two very whipped husbands <33
âholy shit!â
the raspy tilt of satoruâs voice echoes throughout the bedroom, stirring you from your comfortable slumber. a soft groan spills from suguruâs lips, deep and husky, as he pulls you closer into his embrace â smoothing a warm palm down the back of your head. trying to soothe you back to sleep, muttering under his breath.
âsatoru, itâs too early for this...â
âitâs snowing!â said man continues, unperturbed. unmistakably giddy. heâs standing by the window, hands pressed flush against the cold glass; entirely entranced by the sight in front of his cerulean eyes.Â
your eyelids begin to flutter. a tiny tug of your subconscious, a pang of something excited flowing through your veins, an alert to your sleepy brain.
(snowing.)
with groggy movements, you wriggle out of suguruâs grasp â a displeased grumble leaves his throat, almost a whine â allowing you to scramble out of bed. âreally?â you chirp, rubbing the sleep from beneath your eyes. a raspy, meek little voice spilling into the air.
satoru grins, watching you move closer, watching as a tiny gasp pushes past your lips. watching as your droopy eyes widen â brightening, glittering, starlight and snowflakes painted on the interior of your iris. a breathtaking sight, he thinks.Â
maybe even more breathtaking than the winter wonderland reflected in it; beyond the pure opaque frosting of the windowâs glass, out into your backyard, buried beneath a thick layer of snow. soft and fluffy, covering the city, suguruâs long-frozen tulip garden, the bare branches of your apricot tree. every roof in sight. all of it dyed a pure white, glittering in the light of a morning sun yet to fully rise, tiny snowflakes descending down to earth.Â
itâs beautiful.Â
satoru loves winter. he always has, he thinks. it comes to him as a memory â blurred at the edges, gleaming even still, the first time he saw those snowflakes up close. someone held him in their arms, he recalls. a warmth long faded.Â
all he can properly remember is that sight. one that knocked the breath from out his tiny lungs, all glitter and something almost other-worldly, something frightening in its majesty. like it broke through a rift in the stratosphere.Â
the first snow of the year.
and heâs loved it ever since; the soft crunch of snow beneath his feet, an air heavy with the scent of cinnamon and candied apples, bouts of laughter to be heard from faraway apartments. red and green glimmers of artificial light, sweet frosting on the christmas cake he would always gobble up alone in his room. the cold wind, nipping at his bare fingers â a reminder of his capacity for ache.
there are lots of things to love. lots of memories to cherish. and every single year, he gets the chance to make more.
like this; the light in your eyes, the smile on your face, the excitement in how hurriedly you turn to meet his giddy gaze. a nostalgic kind of joy simmering in the space between you.
and before either of you know it, satoruâs pulling you towards the hallway, intent on dragging you outside to see it all up close. almost tripping over his agumon plush, lying unassumingly on the floor, kicked off the bed once again.Â
(probably by satoru himself, though heâll always insist it was suguruâs doing. overcome by his jealousy, surely, unable to stand the sight of his cute husband cuddling up to a plushie instead of him. satoru understands, he does â he feels the same when he sees you hug that 3â0 cat plushie of yours.
and, sure, maybe once or twice heâs been lucid enough to register the subconscious kick of his leg and agumonâs subsequent fall to the floor â but heâll still blame suguru in the morning. if only to see the way said man rolls his eyes, clicks his tongue, maybe flicks his forehead if heâs really lucky.)
high on the spirit of christmas, spurred on by childlike elation and sleep-deprivation, you stumble towards the door. satoru pulls one of his jackets over your shoulders, delighting in the way your hands donât fully reach through the sleeves. wrapping you up in a cozy scarf when suguru shouts at you both to dress warmly, barely awake and already tired of your antics.
and the moment you step through the door, satoru is engulfed by it. that mystical, mystical feeling.Â
a little lonely, a little too satisfying to pass up. a cold breeze that nips at his fingertips, snowflakes that brush against his cheeks and stick to his white lashes. a warm hand in his, as you cling to his side, shuddering â but smiling, as you look up at the sky, putting a hand out just to feel the snowflakes melt against the skin of your palm.
he feels you let go of him, but doesnât mention it. a little too mesmerized to tug you back. dipping his toes into the bittersweet nostalgia of it all, staring at the flurry of white all around you, the skeletal branches of your apricot tree. suguruâs poor tulips. humming a jolly tune, subconsciously. a little delighted.
â until something cold and wet hits the exposed skin of his neck.
satoru twitches, a chilling shudder trickling down his spine. the snowball just thrown at him begins to melt, droplets sticking to his nape, and he turns to you with a raise of his brow. a devilish grin on his lips, when he hears your muffled laughter, sees the crinkle of your eyes.
(youâre cute, he thinks. but you need to be humbled.)
âoh, so thatâs how you wanna play?â he drawls, eyes gleaming with amusement. taking a step forward, reaching down to gather some snow in his palm. a wide grin on his glossy lips. âfine by me.âÂ
he's fast, but you act quickly, running towards the apricot tree with laughter in your throat. feeling the pitter patter of your heartbeat resound in your ears, as the snowball misses its mark by just a hair â and you waste no time in making your own.
itâs a hard-fought duel. snowfall blocking your vision, nerves beginning to numb, red cheeks and runny noses as you chase each other with giddy breaths. unfortunately for you, satoruâs arms are unfairly long, fingers unfairly nimble, and his stamina never even seems to falter.
so before long, your energy begins to dwindle. chest heaving, hands too cold to form a proper snowball, while your husband seems like he hasnât even broken a sweat. they just keep on coming, snowball after snowball colliding with the fabric of your jacket, and when one of them hits your collarbone you squeal â falling backwards, right into a fresh pile of snow.
satoru moves forward, a triumphant smirk on his handsome face. youâre out of breath, and your hands are red, and heâs fairly certain youâre gonna catch a cold. suguruâs going to scold him, but right now all he can think of is you. the frown youâre wearing, the little huff that slips from your lips.
âready to admit defeat, sweetheart?â he practically purrs, standing above you with his hands on his hips. smug. and you grin right back.
ânever.â
a hum. something glimmers in his eyes, a devious little glint, and you come to regret your decision when satoru gathers a heap of snow with his overgrown arms; only to drop it all on top of you. too tired to fight back, all you can do is shield your face, silently accepting your fate.
a shiver wracks through your body, and satoru almost feels bad. just a tiny bit. but then you finally relent, murmuring bitterly under your breath. âfine, fineâŠâ a soft pout forms on your lips. âyou win.â
and satoru smiles. crouching down to meet you at eye level, on his knees in front of you. thereâs a teasing mirth in his eyes, when he reaches out to cup the fat of your cheek. âthatâs all i wanted to hear, sweet pea,â he drawls, trying not to giggle when you exaggeratedly roll your eyes.
his voice curls down an octave when he continues, leaning forward to brush his nose against yours. hot breath against your chilled skin. ânow, for my prizeâŠâ
his lips meet yours, sweet and chaste â a little cheeky. you scoff into the kiss, but satoruâs smile only grows. honeyed, a little bit adoring. his tongue flits out to lick at your cold bottom lip.
he lingers, for a bit. like heâs trying to savour the way you taste, faded strawberry chapstick sticking to his lips, smudged against your own. and you sigh, softly, melting a little, comforted by the fleeting warmth that blossoms on your face.Â
when he's finally satisfied, having dragged his prize out to its completion, satoru helps you up. brushing snowflakes off your jacket, cradling your ice-cold hands in his. theyâre not faring much better, but a worried tug of his heartstrings compels him to warm you up. bringing them to his lips, hot breath fanning over your skin, tender little kisses against the knots of your knuckles.
you canât help but blush, and a raspy chuckle flows from out his lips.Â
hazy morning sunshine licks at the branches of the apricot tree behind you, illuminating the contours of your face, the shine of his eyes. a blue smudge on a canvas painted white and gray. the air smells of pine cones and something smokey, crisp. it courses through his burning lungs when he inhales, exhales, a breath of vapour that scatters up into the sky.
satoru loves winter. always has. but now, heâs certain he loves it even more.
because now, he has two people to share it with. two people to drag out into the snow, two people whose hands he can tenderly warm up, two people whoâll laugh and sigh at his antics and still indulge him. two people to pelt with snowballs.Â
what more could a man want?
âhey, idiots!âÂ
the voice that echoes throughout the air is exasperated, a little teasing. yet fond. suguruâs got his hair tied into a messy half done bun, black turtleneck sweater enunciating his broad chest and the curve of his waist. thereâs a fatigue in his eyes, the creases of his face, but a lazy smile is playing at his lips.
âiâm making breakfast,â he shouts, voice deep and smokey and soft even still. âcome in and warm up before you catch a cold.â
âis that any way to speak to your husband and spouse?â satoru chimes back, a melodic lilt to his sugarsweet voice. something satisfied. pleased.
suguru shoots him an unimpressed look, but his eyes soften. melting a little, at the words that spill from satoruâs lips, as if they were always meant to be there.Â
(husband. spouse. suguru wills himself not to smile.)
with matching grins on your faces, the two of you stumble back towards the door. snow crunching beneath your feet, a happy noise pushing past your lips when you collide with the warmth of your husbandâs chest.
âlook, suguru. isnât it pretty?â you chirp, smiling brightly. an expression he mirrors â brushing some snow from the top of your head, warm palms caressing your cold skin, setting a mental reminder to scold satoru later. sparing a brief glance at the snowy veil over reality.
then he exhales. a fond hum. âit is.â
satoru joins you both by the door, stretching out his lanky limbs. tousled hair, wet strands sticking to his skin, reddened cheeks and a signature pout. âsuguru, my hands are cold,â he whines. âwarm âem up for me?â
a click of his tongue. âshouldâve put some gloves on, satoru.â
a hum buzzes in your throat, and you put your hands out. itchy, a little dry. a sad frown tugs at your lips when you speak. âmy hands are also cold.â
and, like clockwork, suguruâs eyes soften. a coo tiptoeing on his tongue, engulfing your hands in his larger ones. âaw, câmere, my loveâŠâ his breath fans over your frozen fingertips. âletâs get you warmed up, hm?â
satoru gasps, a hand on his chest, and you stifle a giggle. heâs acting, you both know, being a little drama queen. he knows youâre just exaggerating suguruâs double standard as a bit, that your husband would probably set himself on fire to warm either of you up.
despite that, his voice comes out thoroughly offended. âoh, i see how it is,â he huffs, walking past the both of you. pouting deeply. âyou hate me. you hate me, and you want me to die. i understand.â
âsatoru,â you coo. he hmphs, but stills, waiting for you to wrap your arms around him. and you do â a little too eager to appease your giant baby of a husband.
âweâre just joking around,â you assure him, holding back a humorous chuckle. squeezing his waist with palpable fondness. âlove you sooo much. you know that.â
satoru stays silent. but he cranes his neck, to meet suguruâs gaze, standing just behind him. narrowing his cobalt eyes â a meaningful look.
suguru sighs.
âyes, yes. we love you oh so much.â he takes a step forward, ruffling the white head of hair by the door. a lazy smile on his lips. ânow behave and go change out of your pyjamas. theyâre soaked.â
his voice is teasing. exasperated, more than a little condescending. but itâs suguru, so satoru accepts it â following you both into the warmth of your home. the scent of cinnamon and vanilla hangs heavy in the air, a hint of espresso and firewood, lulling him into a sweet state of tranquility. rich with comfort, safety.
he changes out of his wet clothes, pulling a black hoodie over his head before waltzing into the kitchen. and you do the same, emerging from your bedroom in one of suguruâs cozy sweaters, knitted and smelling of bergamot.Â
when suguru notices, his gaze shifts into something fond. palpable. a look satoru always finds in the scope of those warm eyes, amber and cedar bleeding into something sweet, only ever directed at the two of you. a look said man assumes goes unnoticed. heâs not as slick as he thinks.
the kitchen simmers with hazy sunlight and gentle movements, something sleepy and kind. satoru is a little bit enamored with it; from bowls of cat food by the corner, to camellias by the windowsill, cookie jars and dried lemon slices, the fading scent of baked goods and wishlists stuck to the fridge.
(yours and satoruâs are filled with scribbles, new ideas popping up daily, while suguruâs is almost entirely blank; mostly necessities, one or two things heâd like for himself.
and then, of course, the same thing he writes at the top of his wishlist every year; some peace and quiet.)
suguru shuffles around the kitchen, long strands of black hair cascading down his back, swaying with his movements. he sends you both an affectionate glance when you step in, already in the process of making satoru his cup of hot chocolate â topped with marshmallows and whipped cream, colorful sprinkles in the shape of tiny stars, a touch of cinnamon. satoru licks his lips.
when it's finished, the cup is promptly handed to him, paired with a tender kiss to his forehead. and suguru starts the meticulous brewing of your coffee, steady hands, finely chosen coffee beans, the low purring of the espresso machine. soothing.
thatâs when you attach yourself to his back. wrapping your arms around his waist, a sleepy yawn muffled into the fabric of his turtleneck. he places a big palm on your hand, thumb smoothing over your knuckle, and you nuzzle into him silently. suguru smiles.
âstill sleepy, baby?â he questions, a coo on the tip of his tongue. his voice is soft, palpably so, buzzing with warmth and safety and something that makes you want to stay cuddled up to him forever.
satoru senses an opportunity to insert himself into the conversation, and forces out a yawn of his own. stretching his limbs like a big cat, blinking drowsily, eyelashes fluttering. hoping itâll come off as endearing. âmhm.âÂ
but suguru shoots him an unimpressed look. ânot you,â he tuts, patting your arm, âthis baby. i wasnât asking you.â
a pout. âwhy are you so mean to me?â he whines, shooting you a doe-eyed look. bottom lip jutting out slightly, a feigned glassiness to his eyes. âsweetie, tell your husband to stop being so mean to me.â
you smile. indulgent, as always. âdon't be so mean to him, suguru. you know heâs sensitive.â
a sigh. deep, tinged with exhaustion. satoru shares an amused look with you â stifling a shared chuckle at suguruâs exasperation.
and suddenly, he feels something warm flutter in his ribcage. a sunkissed butterfly, wings brushing against his ribs, coaxing his lips into curling up. unmistakable fondness, almost too much to bear. the need to reach out and touch you creeps up on him, a hunger he canât deny, but he holds back; you look comfy like that, curled up against suguruâs spine. so he only inches closer, without a word.Â
his husband casts him a glance, but satoru stays silent. lips pursed, waiting for something. patient.
and suguru relents. he reaches a hand out, to tuck a stray strand of white hair behind his ear â an excuse to touch him. a silent apology.Â
(i'm sorry, you big baby.)
satoru grins.
you shift from foot to foot, leaning over to see what suguru is doing, pressing buttons and taking two ceramic cups out from a wall cabinet. your eyes zero in on a particular shelf, narrowing in suspicion, before flitting over to meet your husbandâs gaze.
âsatoru, did you use up all my peppermint sweeteners again?â
he stiffens. just a tad, before swallowing a gulp â followed by a silly chuckle, sheepish and performative, eager to wiggle his way out of your cold gaze. â⊠which sweeteners do you mean, honey?â
âdonât pull the âhoneyâ card.â
âand donât play dumb, either.â
a pout crosses his lips. betrayed. âsuguru, whoâs side are you even on?â
said man gives him a look. that one look, characteristically suguru, the same one he always sends satoruâs way. one so thoroughly unimpressed it makes him feel like the worldâs biggest clown.Â
and satoru plays along. your dutiful, beloved clown, his posture wilting like a sad flower. suguru exhales through his nose.
âdonât steal their sweeteners.â he smooths a thumb over your knuckle, absentminded, meeting the cold metal of the ring on your finger. smiling a little at the sensation. âbuy your own.â
satoru huffs, drawn out and childish. crossing his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. âah, i see how it is. leaving your sweet husband to buy his own sweeteners?â he clicks his tongue. âchivalry is dead.â
you bite back a little chuckle â satoru recognizes the cute noise you make when you do â and suguru rolls his eyes. fondly, always. âremind me next time i go to the store and iâll consider it.â
âhmph.â
suguru is smiling. itâs small, but genuine, worth a thousand words. and you are, too, the vague crinkle of your eyes giving you away. even as you bury your face in the curve of suguruâs back.
and ah, satoru thinks. there it is again.Â
that sickeningly sweet sense of deja vu; the sensation of a certain something flourishing deep inside his chest. warming him up, trickling through his frost-bitten veins. that one little itch he never manages to satisfy, that never goes away, something that took root inside his heart years ago â watered by the sweet looks on your faces.
this everyday slice of heaven, right in front of him, that heâs been greedily partaking in ever since he moved in with you. since he married you.
(married.)
sometimes he still canât believe it.Â
âitâll be done in a minute,â suguru hums, and satoru blinks. broken out of his syrupy stupor. âyou two go wait by the kotatsu, okay? must be cold, poor babies.âÂ
and, as always, his voice is a little teasing. a tiny bit condescending, if you really strain your ears, in typical suguru fashion. but itâs laced with a touch of sweetness; one that would be too much for either of you to stomach, if it were to drip out of his lips with nothing to water it down. so satoru accepts it. welcomes it, even.
and you follow his suggestion. making your way towards the living room, satoru trailing behind you, continuously enamored by every little thing he sees. every little piece of the home youâve built for yourselves.
your living room is cozy. several potted plants seated here and there, a thick quilt to cover the kotatsu, a bowl of satsumas on top of it. a sleepy cat on your couch, golden sunshine ruffling her fur. a santa hat lies beside her, and satoru snags it without much thought. pulling it over his head.
his gaze shifts to the christmas tree over in the corner, eyes filling with a childlike kind of wonder. itâs decorated to completion, weighed down by colourful ornaments and lights, a star at the very top. suguru cut it himself, bringing the biggest and prettiest one he could find back home.
(satoru had gone with him. partially to help carry it back, mostly to get a glimpse of suguru's biceps flexing with the swing of the axe. heâs a simple man.)
and beneath it, presents are already beginning to pile up. carefully wrapped, in bows and silken paper, growing more each day. shattering suguruâs hopes of maybe having a more lowkey christmas this year â but satoru couldnât be more relieved. this is the only time of year you let him get away with pampering you both to his heartâs content.
a smile blooms on his lips. he plops down on the floor, crossing his legs, right as suguru walks in with a coffee pot in hand. their gazes overlapping.
and something mischievous begins to brew within the blue of his eyes, something that makes suguru narrow his own. satoru pats his thigh, twice, a coo on the tip of his tongue. santa hat sitting pointedly on top of his head, fluffing up his hair.
âcâmere, suguru! sit on santaâs lap.â
ââ youâre disgusting.â
the words are playful, but a pout still slips into the curve of satoruâs lips, and he huffs out a displeased little breath. his husband pretends not to hear it, so satoru turns to you â sitting so prettily to his right, already anticipating his next move. puppy dog eyes on full display, he gives you a soft tilt of his head, snowy tufts of hair falling over his eyes.
and you sigh, in what he knows is resignation. his faux pout turning into a satisfied grin.
you curl up in satoruâs lap without much of a fuss, letting him circle his arms around you. an indulgent smile rests on your lips, but he knows you love this; his broad chest against your back, the heat of the kotatsu warming your feet. breathing in the fading scent of your shampoo, he leaves a peck on the sensitive spot right behind your ear, and you try not to shudder.
then satoru smiles. squeezing you, lightly, sweetly, eyes rich with honeyed affection. voice dripping with playful endearment. âthere we go,â he coos. âwhat does my angel want for christmas, hm?âÂ
âi want you to stop stealing my peppermint sweeteners,â comes your answer. instantaneous.
silence fills the room. a moment passes. outside your frosted windows, a bird takes flight from the branches of your apricot tree. and satoru clicks his tongue.
â⊠santa can only do so much, baby.â
two deep scoffs fill the air, heavy and bemused. one from you, one from suguru. satoru only giggles.
âjust kidding!â he chirps, planting a kiss on the top of your head. âdonât you worry. santaâll give you all the peppermint sweeteners you could ever want.âÂ
you raise a brow, exhaling amusedly. craning your head to meet his gaze. âand he wonât end up using them all himself?â
âof course not! blasphemy.âÂ
a moment passes.
â⊠maybe one or two. as a treat.â
a string of protests slips from your lips, and satoru tries not to burst into a fit of giggles. suguru just watches, silently, smiling lightly as he pours hot coffee into two ceramic cups. steam wafting up to the ceiling, a cat jumping down from the couch to curl up in his lap. he places one in front of you, not taking a single sip of his own until he hears you hum blissfully at the taste â pink lips against white ceramic. a bitter taste on his tongue, sweetened by your approval.
then he starts peeling three satsumas, absentmindedly, and satoru swallows down the love-ridden honey choking up the back of his throat. pretending the domesticity of such a simple action doesnât melt his heart down to the marrow.Â
he turns his attention towards the window. frost sticking to the glass like spider-woven webs, soon to be melted by the glow of the mellow winter sunrays. flitting in through the curtains, cascading over the room, splattering across the floorboards. framing the hue of your hair, the smile on suguruâs lips.
and a memory comes to him. sudden, hazy, faded at the edges. ghosting his subconscious.
he remembers the frost, the biting wind, the frightening majesty of the snow that fell that day. breaking into his world through a rift in the stratosphere. he remembers the contrasting warmth of the person who held him, who cradled him close; the soft lull of a womanâs voice.Â
for a moment, satoru thinks he can almost, almost see it before him. hear those gentle words, see her tired smile. why was she always so tired?
(look, satoru. isnât it pretty?)
â he canât recall how it sounded. if it was melodic and soft, or raspy and broken, happy or sad. but he does recall that it made him feel safe. safe enough to find comfort in a sight so other-worldly, so very foreign.
it shouldâve been frightening, but it wasnât. the first snowfall satoru ever saw knocked the breath from out his lungs, stole his heart with cold hands, left him with a suffocating nostalgia. but the memory is precious.
and now, he feels that sense of other-worldliness in this; a kotatsu for three, a warm house, peeled satsumas and promises of a christmas cake soon to be baked. one lovely spouse in his lap, the other gazing at him with that fond look he always assumes goes unnoticed. a cocoon of safety â a ghost he doesnât need to chase anymore.
warmth. enough warmth to make up for the snow and frost outside your home, all the experiences he missed out on as a child. warmth, warmth, warmth. funny, how that happens to be satoruâs favorite thing about winter.Â
he looks at the two of you, hoping you wonât pay any mind to his silence. for once, he hopes youâll stay wrapped up in your awful, awful coffee, so bitter that just looking at it makes his throat feel dry. just so he can get away with admiring you for a little longer. from the contours of suguruâs face, to the skin of your collarbone, to the rings on your fingers. ones he put there himself.Â
and ah, satoru thinks, there it is again. again and again, as always, forever. that warm, warm feeling flourishing in the depths of his chest.Â
he hopes it never goes away.
#genuinely fucked up that suguru geto isnt in my kitchen rn </3#i just think sugu is such a caretaker. makes u breakfast and peels ur satsumas w/o u even asking. bc it makes him happy :â3 hes so Mother#i think he lowkey gets just a little bit uncomfortable when u or gojo try to do the same for him⊠he likes doting on u#but obv he deserves to be pampered too!! just gotta ease him into it#and i think gojo has a hole in his heart where love should be. bc he wasnt given enough as a child#im not sure what to think when it comes to his parents (since we know literally nothing abt them) but...#the idea of him finding some comfort in the memory of his momâŠ. maybe not realizing that he misses herâŠ..⊠i think its very sad. and good.#listened to ricky montgomery while writing this i think it mightve healed me#geto suguru x you#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x y/n#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x reader#geto x reader#geto x reader x gojo#gojo fluff#geto fluff#satosugu x reader#satosugu x you#satosugu x y/n#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#âŠâŠâŠ thats⊠a lot of tags.
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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Chord Striker Au by @thatbennybee
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#broppy#trolls poppy#trolls branch#ship meme used in 2nd panel was made by @EggyDaxy on twitter#chordstriker au#hello! wanted to let you know that I really really love your works!!! both your art and your writing is inspiring <3<3<3#was originally gonna make fanart for their amazing fanfic 'Rewinding or Fate'#as you can see that is not what happened lol#stumbled on this au and the vibes! their designs!! had to make fanart!!!#always wanted to draw rock poppy & oh is it sooo fun!!! Both of their designs are satisfying to draw#& can I say that I looove their branch design!!!#nothing gives me more joy than drawing for other ppl's au's#it's so fun!!! imo they're my fav works!!!#always been a fan of b's scar/facial hair hc#but i always forget to add them lol#still want to draw for ROF fic btw but idk what scenes to do#trolls fanart#my art <3#excuse the messiness#should I give a warning tag on slight suggestiveness??#probs not just want to make sure :)
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Thanks.
Prev
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop nature au#fop dev#fop dale#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#art#digital art#comic#The 'Thanks' after all of that makes me so insane Im not even sure I can fully articulate why#I mean. He got what he wanted. Honesty. Thats what you wanted right Dev?#what else do you say to that#He's spent his whole life being sure he knew the answer. That deep DEEP down dale did love him#Have you ever seen that post thats likeâI was bawling my eyes out and somebody told me to shut up and I was so taken aback I stopped crying#I think he was so stunned that he just stopped crying.#or like when you get so upset that your feelings turn themselves off to protect you#is that a normal thing that happens to people Erm. anyway#Sorry lol as someone born to parents who.. should not have had me. Writing dale basically admitting as much is actually really cathartic#He shouldnt have had Dev. He doesnt love him. He cant. Dev cant do anything to change it. Its just a fact.#Hes not 1:1 with my parents they tried their best ig but like. their best was still pretty awful child neglect LOL
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I enjoyed every second of this quest This art has platonic intention, please don't tag ship
#my art#genshin impact#genshinimpact#tighnari#genshin impact tighnari#daily tighnari#cyno#genshin impact cyno#please do not tag as ship thank you#i have too much words but nothing came out from my mouth#i. i love it so much đđđđđđ#i am way too lazy to write everythin abt it#but gOSH WHEN SOME OF MY BRAINROT/HC BECOMES CANON#NO SPOILER BUT ?!?!?! EVERYTHING ABT THIS QUEST MAKES ME SO HAPPY#sethos ?!?!!! i love him. i need more cyno sethos interaction#i am so sleepy from work oh gosh but i already had idea for sethos comic/fanarr#SETHOS I HOPE HE ENJOYS CYNO'S PUNS#oh i swear if he laughs at cyno's jokes it IS SO OVER FOR ME#and WE GOT THE WHOLE CYNO FRIENDS I-#tighnari. can i talk abt tighnari.#no i wont i am lazy.#good night to them
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Ooh, now that weâve seen N!Edwin and DP!Edwin talk about Feelings could we see the same with N!Charles and DP!Charles?
As simple as that.
Edwins version
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#oof man i was not made to write serious conversations#is this healthy? who the hell knows#but is it true to charles' character?#well i sure hope so!#in dp!charles mind#his whole reason for staying has always been edwin#if he gets to do stay with him#it'll be great no matter what form their relationship takes#if edwin loves him in a romantic way? hell yeah! then they can be even closer!#he is thinking in an 'I am his already since the day he found me' sort of way#and to be honest I think dbd!charles agrees#but he also knows he is a people pleaser so he doesn't want to just go and say yes to edwin to make him happy#without being sure he will be able to keep saying yes forever#dp!charles doesn't have this conflict because i genuinely don't think he's picturing forever#he's not as confident in their ability to outrun Death indefinitely#but that allows him to understand more clearly what he's feeling now!#I have thoughts about these boys as you can see
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