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mouchiiarts · 3 days ago
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1. My first ever oc was a character named Khaos. He was originally a human who was experimented on and turned into a chimera by a facility who had been advertising themselves as a medical institution who could heal miraculously disabled children/people. Khaos ran away with another girl, who'd been turned into a half snow leopard anthro and eventually they found a portal to another dimension and escaped there. Oh btw he was basically a humanoid Discord from MLP.
2. If I had to choose, it would probably be either Gaelför or Akina. They're my favorites not because of their designs, but also because of their stories.
3. Nope. I'd love to, but the ones I come across typically are outside of my budget.
4. Probably some of my older oc's! Like Angela or my Suitor Armor oc's.
5. Gaelför and Fukukochoumi Akina! Out of all of my oc's, these two are my favorites.
6. I think for the most part my oc's are decently distinct in their appearances from one another. But I can see Nunah and Angela possibly being confused for siblings or something similar?
7. Yes! Gaelför, Kirsi, and other oc's are a part of a story I'm calling "Black Snow." I plan to turn it into a webcomic, and I'm currently working on the script and official character sheets for the most important characters. Anything about them is under the "black snow" tag on my tumblr.
8. Nope. I don't RP.
9. I don't think so. All of my oc's are very near and dear to me, I couldn't possibly part with them!
10. This is just her concept art. Her final design will definitely be more complex.
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11. Tia! She's my baby and I absolutely love her I don't draw her enough.
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12. Lukas! He's an absolute sweetheart and he's super curious about earth and everything about it!
13. Kiora! She's a chaotic neutral tiefling bard, so she's bound to be mischievous to some degree.
14. Gaelför again lol. Although I won't reveal everything bc I want to keep some things a suprise for the comic, I'll reveal a few things. His tribe were betrayed by a village of humans, which led to the death of his parents and planted the seed of his hatred for humans.
15. Yes!
16. Mm... Probably Mitsuha? She's quite shy and nervous around people, but she has an excellent memory and loves to learn new things.
17. (I'm including some oc x canon) Chisuke x Keigo Takami, Fukukochoumi Akina x Thoma, Gaelfor x Kirsi, Tia x Fenrir, Adria x Iida, and likely more.
18. Nope!
19. Gosh, all of my oc's mean something to me. But Akina probably means the most. She's one of the oldest oc's I still have (in terms of how intact she is with her original self). Her journey of self acceptance and owning her own femininity and becoming more confident in herself after she's found friends/a place to call home means a lot to me.
20. None of my oc's really sing aside from Akina? I don't have a voice actress in mind, but she'd definitely have a very beautiful singing voice that's very strong and melidoc.
21. I don't have one!
22. Not really? I know some of my oc's will eventually get mischaracterized, but none at the moment.
23. Akina! Originally, she was a calico cat girl maneki neko, although she did sell enchanted charms and trinkets like her modern counterpart!
24. Definitely Tia! She's an absolute sweetheart and I would love to have tea with her in her cottage.
25. ... Kirsi. She's about my height (a little taller) and has short hair like me. It's not as curly as mine though! And my hair isn't white lol
26. Nope. Any and all changes I've done to my oc's have been of my own choice or for the betterment of their story.
27. Nope.
28. Chisuke or Gaelför. Chisuke because of her incredibly dangerous blood quirk, quick reflexes, and ruthlessness. Gaelför because of his strength combined with his firescales.
29. None of them would lol. Either they're too scared to, or they just don't want to.
30. Igni (Gaelför and Kirsi's adopted eldest daughter). She acts all tough and abrasive, but she would 1000% have a huge hoard of plushies
31. Tia would have a very soft cottage core theme blog. Lots of recipes, plants, and lots of nature photos. She'd probably have like a Howl's Moving Castle gifset reblogged every couple days too.
32. Gaelfor! Gaelfor 100%! Especially early chapters Gaelfor! He's a 7'9" Ddraikin who can heat up his scales to incredibly hot temperatures. Once he figures out how, he can be an incredibly ruthless hunter, who's good at tracking scents, combat, and other skills.
33. Mitsuha! She's a maneki neko yokai who's super shy, but once you get to know her, she'll be one of your closest friends.
34. Yep! Sïndri and Nyx are Gaelför and Kirsi's twin boys! I haven't drawn them yet!
35. Fenrir and Callum are brothers. Gaelför also has a sister named Ylva. Akina has her younger brother, Haitao, and her younger sister, Iyla.
36. Not yet. I have an Avatar (2009) oc I'm hoping to pair with a mutual's oc! But she hasn't had the chance to design him yet.
37. Lukas. He's a tall, lanky alien boy for a sci-fi alien story I had in mind. He's a part of a species which is mostly humanoid, but they're built for their mostly aquatic nocturnal planet.
38. Akina! She's literally a performer and her dance is used as an opening show for a specific autumn festival in Inazuma!
39. I unfortunately cannot remember his name at the moment, but he's a human who's super into the supernatural and aliens. He's Lukas' best friend and is the only human who knows Lukas is a shapeshifting alien.
40. All of them have fond memories, really! Just drawing them is enough fun for me.
41. Yes! Quite a few people have! A mutual @roxxiespirt has drawn this of my MHA oc Iron Eagle in my Mama Bird au!
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42. Probably Carmen. She's a total bookworm (she's also from the unnamed alien story)
43. ... body type can kinda vary but... skinny women with a pixie cut/short hair. They are also kinda standoffish or a more tsundere archetype. I don't know why. But this has happened multiple times. Chisuke (MHA), Angela Lumonte (Spy X Family), Andromeda (BG3), Nunah (Suitor Armor), etc. I uh. Have a type I enjoy drawing apparantly.
44. I like that, to some degree, they all have one or more trait of myself. Some of them are nervous as well as confident, some show they're capable of change, and others don't. Plus their designs are all super fun to draw,
45. I have.. so many. There are so so many characters from older/abandoned stories that I no longer use. But in an older version of Black Snow (originally titled Silver Rings and Potion Bottles) Kirsi (then Kiki) had a sister,, which turned into a lot of different sisters. There was also Oliver, who was a redesigned version of Khaos to fit into the SRaPB universe. He was one of Kiki's witch friends!
46. ... yeah. I kinda enjoy traumatizing my friends with the lore I create for my oc's so I've definitely been told I'm being mean to them.
47. Sorta? They say (insert oc name) is baby but not specifically their baby if you know what I mean.
48. Fynn! He's the golden sunshine dead husband of Nunah! He was a really kind herbalist Nunah absolutely fell in love with when they first met as teens. He's... unfortunately dead. But he's a sweet lad.
49. Lukas. Or Carmen.
50. Gaelför belongs to a species/race from my original story Black Snow! They're native to the continent of Gal'ruk, and tend to stick to the northern parts of the continent, on the other side of a wall of active volcanoes called the Ignimurus! When he was about 10, he snuck away from his tribe to go and fight off the group of Seekers (Ddraikin hunters/collectors) who were camping close to them. He was quickly overpowered by the hunters, and was taken away from his tribe. He was then enslaved as an Executioner in the human city of Cal'deur for 14 years. He only managed to escape the city because of a chance escape he made one day while in the ring with a magi prisoner he was supposed to kill (Kirsi). He's not exactly what I would call a good person towards the beginning of his story. He's cruel, unkind, and only thinks for himself. It isn't until he makes a deal with Kirsi to help him get home, along with some other misadventures along the way, does he actually begin to grow and change for the better!
Some OC questions
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ghastlyfilters · 3 days ago
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random lost boys headcanons that i constantly think about!!
pairing(s): none!
warning(s): mentions of weed, religion, paul being a dirty little shit when it comes down to magazines
(here’s some random headcanons no one asked for but i literally think about these all the time and can’t get them out of my head. and yes, i know some bands and music artists mentioned in this were in their prime after the lost boys was set. but fuck it there’s no need to put dates on things when it’s all just for the sake of fictional writing. ALSO BONUS POINTS TO ANYONE WHO GETS THE OG BRANDON ROGERS REFERENCE IN THIS)
gifs not mine!! (if you know the original owner please tag them!!)
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DAVID
• This man smokes like ten packs of cigarettes per day.
Think of a mukbang video but instead it’s just David smoking a shit ton of cigarettes packs.
Max has came to the conclusion that if David were not a vampire, he would in fact be a cancer patient.
• Him bullying someone is just his poor attempts at flirting.
• Makes multiple attempts at destroying Christmas decorations in every store he goes to during winter. When an employee looks in his direction upon hearing the crashing sound of tree baubles, he stares at them with that icy glare, looking personally offended that the employee is giving him the “Did you just do that..” look.
He’s a dumb shit that couldn’t care less what anyone else sees him doing. The employee could literally catch him smacking a glittery bauble off their mini Christmas tree with the back of his hand and he’ll glance over at them, blinking repeatedly.
“It was an accident.”
He’ll even turn to his mind control, allowing the employee to believe it was either Paul or Marko. It usually ends up being Marko, and he’s standing there biting the cuff of his jacket whilst getting the shittiest lecture from the store manager. Turns out poor Marko actually loves the place’s Christmas decorations.. despite being a bloodsucker that should resent anything to do with Christ. He just likes sparkly things.. ☹️
• David is so blunt to anyone who calls him self centred. He ain’t phased in the slightest bit by it. Marko’s said it on multiple occasions after an argument broke out between them all in the cave, and everyone was throwing digs. But the boys know David’s the most brutally honest being they’ve ever encountered.
“Who else am I supposed to be centred on?”
• He’s always dreamed of owning a black cat named Salem, but he knows the cat either won’t take to him being a vampire or the boys might accidentally forget it’s around and do something stupid.
(He really just wants one to sit on his lap whilst he’s in his wheelchair acting like Don fucking Corleone)
• Went through an identity crisis and forced himself to try and look like Billy Idol for a week. (That week turned into years)
• Dwayne’s still trying to convince him that bleaching his hair was a bad decision after a clump of it FELL OUT.
• If there’s ever a child crying on the boardwalk, David’s usually the reason they’re crying.
PAUL
• Is always the “C’mon everybody!!” person at the function. Yet when he runs off excitedly, no one follows.
• Never knows what to do in a chaotic situation because he’s that used to BEING the chaos.
• Cannot sit still for shit. He has to be fiddling with something or bouncing around the place like the madman he is.
• Paul’s a ride or die Mötley Crüe fan. He’s even lured some chicks on the boardwalk by playing Mötley on his boombox for them, feeding afterwards of course. (He’s the sneakiest little shit you’ll ever meet)
If he ever met a girl whom he fell for and eventually turned, his ideal date idea would be going on his motorcycle in the moonlit night and blasting “Kickstart My Heart” with his new partner riding along with him. He’s dreamt of it for years.
(Marko’s bound to third wheel though duh)
• He’s also got a thing for Alice In Chains, and he’s spent many drunk nights screaming the lyrics to “Bleed The Freak” outside the cave whilst meanwhile inside the boys sit in silence and are forced to listen to him.
• Paul barely sees girls with lip piercings but when he does holy fuck.
Just any kind of person who can pull off facial piercings is magical to him. Whether it be a few or a lot, he’s mesmerised by whatever kind of metal is in your face.
• Says “Pspsps..” to every kitty he sees on the boardwalk then screams the biggest “FUCK YOU!” if he witnesses the cat either pad over to someone else or look at him and run away.
• He’s always got a fucking rootbeer in his hand when he’s in the cave with the boys. Aside from blood, him and Marko live off of rootbeer. Ice. Cold. Rootbeer.
• Cherry Pie by Warrant is this man’s national anthem.
• Continuously has to find new weed dealers because if he has a bad argument with one of the boys, they’ll purposely hunt down his current dealer and drain every drop of blood from their body. This causes Paul to go apeshit because when he’s not out looking for prey or pissing people off on the boardwalk, you can bet his ass is in the cave stoned.
• On the topic of his severe weed habit, he’s not much of an edibles guy. He’d rather be sat on his ass smoking the fattest joint of his immortal existence and enjoying every minute of it. He’s occasionally gotten edibles for Marko, but Marko and gummies do not mix after the Frog Brothers started creeping around again.
• Has the biggest Playboy magazine stash that he hides underneath a pile of old denim and leather jackets in the cave. No one apart from Marko knows about them. Plus they’ve always been for.. special.. occasions..
Marko can’t help himself though and starts singing “In The Heat Of The Night” by Sandra when anyone innocently mentions magazines around Paul. This causes Paul to send his boot into Marko’s stomach whenever the boys are all assing around on the bridge, and he’s the first to fall.
“….. I’m telling David about your WET DREAMSSSSS.” Marko usually screams before disappearing into the fog below.
• Him and Marko don’t celebrate holidays unless it’s Halloween or Easter. They don’t give a fuck about the religious part when it comes down to Easter though. And if they wanted to, they couldn’t. They’re just there for the chocolate. They miss the taste of it. Paul will literally start fighting children during an Easter egg hunt on the boardwalk so he can get more for himself and Laddie.
(God help the children who push Laddie out of the way)
MARKO
• Goes into Claire’s Accessories and proceeds to tell the child who’s about to get their ears pierced how bad it should hurt.
(Also steals drip for himself because hello yes he does indeed fw a Sanrio earring set)
• He’s always the one who’ll make the most guttural moaning sounds if you’re on the phone to someone.
• Him and Paul are always found in the naughty section of Max’s video store.
• Whenever a fight breaks out on the boardwalk (that isn’t started by David or Paul for once) he doesn’t know what the fuck to do so he just starts screaming.
• Whenever one of the boys is hurt or sick (yes vampires get sick), Marko’s always the one who tends to them. He’s a massive over-thinker. David came down with something one time, and it was bad. Real bad. It was extremely rare, but it hit David like a freight train. Marko thought he walked in and found him in a state where he’d never wake up, so Max and the boys were left to deal with him bawling for the rest of the evening. Even David was confused when he awoke from his slumber.
• He has a bat plushie named Boris that Paul stole for him years ago. He gets caught chewing on the wings a lot but all in all he loves his Boris.
• Paul once traveled to LA and took him to one of those haunted house events for Halloween. They got kicked out and almost left their motorcycles because Marko starting punching multiple actors. It ended up in this big ass arguement because Paul swore for a moment he saw a glimpse of Marko’s fangs in the light and his eyes momentarily changed.
• The pigeons that flap around in the cave are like his pets. He’s down for just chilling with them and petting them if they let him.
Marko lowkey loves animals.
• He likes embracing his golden, curly locks. Aside from his fashion sense, he thinks his curls are really what gives him his image. He isn’t vain, but he does truly adore his little curls.
• Marko has such a soft spot for trad goths and their way of dressing. Whenever he sees one on the boardwalk, (which he hopes he will), he’s always fascinated by whatever outfit they have on. If they walk past him and the boys, he offers a shy smile. He wishes he could go start a conversation with them, but he thinks it’d be pretty dumb considering what his.. needs are. He doesn’t wanna kill people he thinks are cool.
DWAYNE
• Has the og resting bitch face.
• He wishes he could just stay silent and wonders why it’s not enough to just show up somewhere and have giant eyes.
• Dwayne used to get so many random people come up to him on the boardwalk and tell him how good he’d suit a black or brown eyeliner.
Since that day Dwayne has never forgotten those people and he always wears eyeliner inside and outside the cave.
• Major black coffee addict despite not even needing it.
• Whenever the likes of Paul and Marko actually try to engage in activities whilst on the boardwalk, some female will waltz up to Dwayne. Their approach and characteristics through their energy will allow him to of course decide what his next move is, but if it’s some yappy person who clearly has a horrible energy, Dwayne can be just as blunt as David is.
“How can I get to know you?”
“I don’t want to be known.”
And then he’ll walk away.
• This man is dedicated to leopard print. DEDICATED. In his mind him and the boys are living in some lavish mansion in 70s LA with leopard print plush sofas, leopard print pillows, leopard print bed sheets, literally everything leopard print.
If he had free rein to design the places he wanted to, he’d be ecstatic. (Literally all he wants is to turn Max’s house into a leopard print and cherry red museum.)
• When Dwayne actually smiles around people, it’s the sort of smile that can heal a thousand wounds. Like him coming out of his shell is the sweetest thing to witness.
• If the boys are off irritating the fuck out of people on the boardwalk instead of trying to find a good feed, Dwayne will occasionally sneak away and visit any sort of music store he can find. He could sit and yap to the people in there for days, and that’s really where he feels the most comfy around strangers. He loves talking to others about bands and artists like Judas Priest, Type O Negative, Rob Zombie, Pantera, Sisters of Mercy, Monster Magnet and Rammstein.
• The film The Crow ended up having a really special place in Dwayne’s heart. He loves playing little bits and pieces on his guitar for Laddie from Graeme Revell’s music from the soundtrack.
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HII! if you have any lost boys requests send them in!! as you can tell, i really enjoy writing for all of them!! (i’ll write for honestly any lost boys character atp) <33
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warblogs17282 · 11 hours ago
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Now that helluva boss season 2 has hit it's finale, let's discuss everything we know about season 3 at this point in time!
aka, a comprehensive list of everything about season 3 that we've been told about so far. (Please tell me if I've missed anything, thanks!)
I do not think that any of this information necessitates a spoiler tag on this post, but if you want to go into season 3 completely blind, click off this post now.
Bluesky Stuff:
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What we learned from this bluesky thread posted shortly before Sinsmas was released is as follows:
The wait until Season 3 starts will be quite long.
The team decided that helluva boss having closer releases of episodes was the best decision (heard this meant a month in-between episodes but I forgot where I saw that), so thee team wants to commit to a more traditional release going forward.
Confirmed once again that season 3 has a total of 15 episodes.
We will also be getting shorts in-between the wait until season 3 starts, and I assume this means monthly shorts as well, based on the fact we had monthly shorts last time as well.
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Vivziepop has also described season 3 as a 'queer roller coaster.', so we gotta be prepared to get back on that ride again.
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At some panel it was confirmed that in season 3 we will be getting an episode that contains some more Millie backstory.
Tweet link here:
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In some other panel, alongside confirming Vassago's appearance in the Mastermind episode, they also confirmed that we will be seeing 'much more' of Vassago in season 3, the post in the picture above contains the clip of this moment in the panel as well.
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In what appears to be a recording for the second half of season 3, they're doing recording work for a Stolas song titled 'Dirty Bird', and yes, it is going to be super horny. There is a video of this Instagram post on the post below, plus one extra screenshot.
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In the Los Angeles Comic Con 2024, quite a few things were revealed to us, with those being as follows:
As said before, this traditional release schedule does mean that the episodes will hopefully be a month apart from each other, and that Vivziepop saw the show was moving towards a more narrative direction, with this also being where the heart of the show is, and as a result, the direction the team is going in.
Lastly, we probably won't see all 72 Goetias, but we will see a lot more of them in season 3.
Post referenced in above screenshot contains a youtube link to said Comic Con.
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According to the reblogs under this post, it appears that Erica (Loona's VA), was asked what her favorite song/episode was, and she responded with 'the song that Loona has in season three', confirming that Loona does have a song during season 3.
Video can be found within this post:
youtube
At 1:06:19 of this video, Vivziepop does state that the show will eventually get to Stella's perspective, which I have to imagine the show will get to in season 3, and that Vivziepop hearkens Stella's character to the character of BoJack Horseman's mother (Beatrice Horseman) because they are very similar in that regard.
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Finally, Vivziepop posted these screenshots of her doing some audio editing to her Instagram over a year ago, we don't know what episode this is from but based on the long name in line 7 that doesn't appear to match any character we know at the moment, this appears to likely be a picture of some season 3 audio.
The main things we can gather from these screenshots appear to be Millie talking with Stolas a bit, and the absolute explosion of voices following something that Blitz said.
Post where I found these screenshots from can be found here, some additional discussion regarding is also in the reblogs:
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To wrap things off, I believe the next significant reveal or such regarding season 3 will be found in the 2025 LVL UP EXPO, as there are quite a lot of VAs involved with Helluva Boss there, plus Sam Haft and Vivziepop.
Especially considering that in the 2024 LVL UP EXPO, the first helluva boss short was shown, we got the song featured in s2 e8, 'When I See Him' and the season 2 trailer.
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yexthiccxa · 2 days ago
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Secrets of the Second Shift - (Part 4)
summary: choso invited you over for dinner (part 3) and he's serving appetizers, dinner, and dessert 👅 smut with a little angst on top
wordcount: 3.5k words
full fic c/w: choso smut, choso/fem!reader, choso/oc, modern!au, some plot, plot what plot, porn with plot, gentleman!choso, soft!choso, praise kink, blindfold sex, oral, fingering, vaginal sex, fingering, oral, multiple orgasms
a/n: let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for this!
Tumblr Master List | Read this chapter on AO3!
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✦✧✸✧✦ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ✦✧✸✧✦
Choso guides you to the table, pulling out a chair to offer you a seat. “Please, sit,” he says, his voice soft.
He heads over to the oven to pull out a couple dishes. “What’s on the menu for tonight, chef?” you ask playfully.
“For starters, we have roasted garlic and herb bread.” He sets down one tray with a graceful retrieving the next. The smell immediately makes your mouth water. “For dinner, we have baked chicken and pesto risotto.”
Before he makes his way around the table to sit down he leans in close to whisper in your ear. “And for dessert,” he adds, a smirk curling at his lips, “I’ll be having you.” He presses a kiss to your cheek before taking his seat.
You roll your eyes for show, but there’s no hiding the smile that’s tugging across your face. “You didn’t listen to a single thing I said back there, did you?”
Choso’s expression is calm, but there’s a flicker of playfulness in the way he looks at you. “Don’t worry, every word was crystal clear—boundaries, keep it clean, no work, no apartments… after tonight.” Emphasis on after tonight.
You hate how he’s right. But deep down you didn’t really want him to be wrong.
The tension between you settles into a strange, quiet understanding.
Dinner is nothing short of incredible. Each bite you take is a perfect blend of flavors that dance on your palate. The chicken is tender with a crisp, savory crust. The pesto risotto is rich and creamy, and the roasted garlic bread has just the right amount of bite. You take a moment to close your eyes just to fully appreciate the depth of the flavors before shifting your attention back to Choso.
As he talks throughout the meal, your focus remains entirely on him. You notice how his face lights up when he talks about his team. There’s pride in his voice when he shares how his team was built from the ground up and how he held them together when the acquisition almost tore them apart.
And then there’s the way he listens. He holds your hand across the table, his thumb brushing slow, thoughtful circles against your skin as you share your most successful projects. When you open up about your struggles with Naoya, he squeezes your hand because he knows that name makes you wince. It’s gentle but firm and his silent way of telling you that he’s there for comfort.
It’s a small gesture, but it’s enough to make your heart stumble.
But what you can’t get over is the way he looks at you. It’s a look of desire, yes, but it’s layered with something deeper—an unspoken curiosity. It’s as if he wants to make you whole, piece by piece. He wants to know what drives you, what broke you, and why you’re so hesitant to let someone in. He doesn’t say it, but you see it in his deep brown eyes: I want to know you.
You could tell Choso everything—all the answers to all the unasked questions. But you can’t bring yourself to share. You’ve let yourself open up before, let yourself get too comfortable, but all it did was lead you to heartbreak. And with Choso, you’re starting to recognize this feeling all too well. It’s a dangerous path. The kind of path that you aren’t ready to walk again.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Choso cuts in.
Wait. Were you just thinking out loud? The thought startles you, but you shake it off quickly, masking your expression as you pick up the empty dishes and head for the kitchen. “Nothing’s going on,” you say, your voice just a little too breezy. “We should clean up.”
Choso follows silently and you feel his hand on your shoulder. You’ve come to recognize the comfort his touch brings, though you’re not sure that’s a good thing.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking,” he says quietly, his voice gentle but firm, “but I can see something’s wrong. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but can you at least let me know what would make it better?”
You hesitate. He’s too perceptive. The thought that he might already know what’s bothering you makes you uneasy. Instead of answering, you deflect. “How can you tell if something is wrong?”
A small grin tugs at his lips, lightening the heaviness between you. “I run a team that thrives under efficiency. It’s my job to know when something’s off.”
His confidence earns a soft laugh from you, and you take the opportunity to lighten the mood. You turn, placing the dishes in the sink before reaching out to playfully poke his chest. “While I’m impressed by your attentiveness, I don’t appreciate being managed like I’m one of your direct reports.” you tease, trying to regain some ground.
He brings himself closer to you. “Well, I did mention that being under me wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, remember?”
“Thanks for the reminder, but what did we say about keeping work life separate?” When you finally glance up at him, you are at a loss for words.
Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of just how tall he is, how close he’s standing. The warmth of him radiates through his shirt, and in a split second, you’re reminded of the muscles that lie beneath. Your heartbeat stutters as the moment stretches on just a little too long. You look away to hide the tint of pink flowing to your cheeks.
Choso doesn’t let you slide. Instead he gently places his fingers under your chin, catching you as you turn away. “The same thing we said about everything else.” He leans in close until you’re inches away from each other. “All of that starts after tonight.”
There’s no harm in one night, right?
Everything around you stands still. The only thing you can think of is the fire building between you, and the inevitability of what’s about to happen.“Better make it count,” you reply.
That’s all Choso needs before he makes his move.
You can tell he tries his best to show restraint, but the way Choso cups the back of your head to bring his lips to yours shows you anything but that. Every ounce of composure has completely shattered. His movements become demanding, hungry, starving. He’s kissing you like he’s savoring the way you taste. It’s as if he’s been deprived for years.
He moves his hands down your sides to firmly grip your waist and set you on the counter, causing the container of utensils to crash against the backsplash. The movement rolls your head back, giving him the perfect access to the delicate skin on your neck.
The way he has his mouth on you sends a shock of excitement straight to your core. It’s like his lips are taking care of you in all the right ways. Every breath that hits your skin is a reminder of how much he wants you.
You release a quiet moan as he kisses his way down and slides off a strap of your dress. Deja vu hits when you find your breast exposed and his mouth on your nipple. But this time, it’s nowhere near enough. He’s desperate to have all of you.
“Oh—fu, Choso.”
Hearing you say his name triggers something in him—something primal, something feral. He doesn’t miss a beat as he places his hands around your ass to slide you into him. Seconds later, he hooks his arms under you until you’re straddling his waist.
Choso carries you over to his room while your hands begin to tangle in his hair. Something about this moment seems effortless. Well, actually everything about Choso seems effortless. It’s one of the qualities that keeps you wanting more—and right now is no exception. You crave him—his touch, his taste, the heat of his skin against yours.
As Choso sets you on the bed, you pull up the edges of his shirt over his head—revealing an intricate string of tattoos from his shoulder to his bicep. Fuck—as if you couldn’t be anymore attracted to him than you are now.
He finds your mouth once again and reaches his arm around your back to unzip your dress, slipping it down and tossing it to the floor.
Choso takes a moment to study every single curve of your body. “God, I never want to forget how beautiful you look. I think it’ll be forever ingrained in my mind.”
As he unlatches his belt and takes off his pants, you memorize every muscle—from his arms, to his abs and everything down below. The sight before you helps you piece together every memory you had of him from Friday night. Remembering how good he felt turned you on, but finally seeing the man who made it happen has you instantly soaked between your thighs.
The hunger in your eyes takes over you causing you to grab his arm and pull him down to you. You feel a sense of security knowing that his body is pressed up against yours. “Choso, I want you,” you breathe out.
A devilish smile forms before he pins your wrists to the bed. “It seems you have a reputation for being a bit hasty.” He buries his face into your neck, sucking your skin into his mouth. “I still have to return the favor.”
You arch your back as his mouth trails down your sides and eases off your panties. The feeling of his breath tickles your sex. He doesn’t go directly for your center, but instead begins to kiss around it. Your desperation turns into all out torture. 
Choso places his lips onto your clit, causing shivers to shoot through your spine. “I promise we’ll get there, my love. But first, all you need to do is…relax.”
The hushed vibration of his tone lingers between you two, but before you know it, the wetness of his tongue sinks into you. He buries his tongue as deep as he can go before slurping up all the juice you have hidden inside. 
A string of curses leave your lips. “F—Cho. Oh my god.”
“Mmm, you taste even better than the first night we met.” he moves to your clit and teases you with his tongue. All you want in this moment is for him to lap up all the wetness between your leg, but instead he toys with you—what a fucking sadist.
“Choso, please” you whisper.
He gently lifts to speak, his tone is laced with a mischievous charm. “Please what? I can’t hear you.”
Your shallow breaths leave you dizzy. “I want your tongue on me.”
His voice drops lower, leaving you intoxicated by the sound. “That’s it. Beg for it, princess.” 
“Choso, please—”
He hears your calling and rewards your pleading by letting his tongue massage your clit. The feeling causes you to twitch. His tongue is hot, wet, and renders you completely silent—well, except for the faint moans that leave your lips.
As he continues his rhythm, you feel your body sizzle with heat. Your breath becomes short and labored as he grips your thighs. With your skin being so delicate you wouldn’t be surprised if he left bruises that would surely last for days.
Choso’s movements intensify and your fingers instinctively twist into the sheets beneath you. When they frantically search for something to hold onto, you know you’re almost at your peak. 
“Fuck Choso, I’m so close—” you cry.
Choso keeps his pace and his final stroke sends you over the edge.
The coil within you unwinds as you tilt your head back to let the pleasure soak in. The endless feeling of peaks and valleys radiate from your core into the rest of your body. It’s like a rippling current of fire sweeps under your skin. Your body tenses until the last bit of ecstasy squeezes out of you.
Choso definitely made good on his promise, you’ll give him that. “We can call it even—consider your debt paid,” you say as your body relaxes, sinking into the sheets.
He gives you no time to react. Instead, he opens the drawer of his nightstand and takes out a condom. “Well then, I guess it’s time to start a new tab.” He leans back over to give you a quick kiss. “Now that you’re here, I have no intention of letting this end anytime soon.”
You watch him roll a condom onto his shaft, stunned by how big he truly is. You remember feeling him stretch you from the inside out, but seeing it with your own eyes is a different kind of euphoric. Choso is the type of big you’ve only dreamed about. Between that, his muscles, the tattoos, and his gorgeous face, it feels like this man has it all. And now you were going to have all of him.
“Why don’t you show me that pretty little pussy again?”
You open up your legs and slide one hand down the middle, spreading yourself wide open. 
Choso’s eyes go wide. He’s never seen anyone as stunning as you. He’s hypnotized beyond his control, and he can’t bring himself to fight it—not that he’d want to.
He eases his way into you, causing a moan to escape your lips. Sliding into you was easy, but adjusting to his size was a different story—a deliciously painful one at that. If he was a sadist, you were a masochist, like a match fucking made in heaven.
“Fuck me—” Choso grits out. “So. goddamn. Tight.”
The feeling of him breaking you open feels like pure bliss. It’s like nothing else matters except you, Choso and the connection that was never meant to be broken.
His movements are steady but rhythmic. They start off gentle, but once he’s had enough to coat his whole length, the sound of his hips pounding into you begins to fill the room. Every thrust gets deeper and your moans only grow louder.
In. Out.
In. Out.
Just when you think he’s had his fill, Choso picks you up to claim you in every part of his room. He presses you up against the wall. When you try to take back control he has you bent over his desk. No spot is safe when it comes to demolishing every last bit of you—and you’re loving every second of it.
After pounding into you for what feels like hours, he returns you back to the bed. You’re exhausted but your hands still try to grab hold of something, anything—just so you can find a way to center yourself while he has you in a frenzy. They finally dig into his back and weave through his hair as if it's the only way to stay steady while he ravages you.
“You feel so ….fucking good …inside me.” you struggle to get out with every push. “Fuck—yes, Choso.”
Choso loves how you sound when he drills his way inside of you. When he sees you on the brink of unraveling, he picks up one of your legs and places it on top of his shoulder before pressing into you. This time it’s harder. This time he’s going faster. And this time, he’s slamming into a spot that has you hitting notes you’ve never hit before.
“Let me hear you, beautiful.” he purrs as he locks his gaze onto yours. “Let the whole fucking world hear.”
Just when you think Choso couldn’t make you feel any better, he takes his thumb and presses it into your clit—massaging it to match his pace. He moves in circles, hitting every spot in perfect sync. He has the hands of an artist and the touch of a god—this man will truly be the death of you.
“Just—just like that. I think…” you pant.
You don’t need to finish your sentence, because he already knows. “Yes baby girl, do it. Come all over me.”
“Choso, I want you to—”
When he looks down to you, you see an intoxicating mix of lust and sincerity in his eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m right there with you.” 
His acknowledgement is all you need to push you past your limit. You explode into a throbbing mess and it doesn’t take long for Choso to follow.
“Fu- fuck—god. That feels—” he roars as his dick pulsates in you.
Your cheeks flush at the thought of him finishing inside you. The only thing that would make it better if it were raw instead.
Your orgasm this time feels as good as the last one, if not better. As your body stiffens, every nerve is on high alert. The surge of desire races through your veins, sending a shock of electricity through your body. When you begin to settle, your breath slows down, a contrast to the rapid pounding of your own heartbeat.
One final breath and Choso puts his arm around you, holding you close while his fingers trail through your hair. “How are you feeling?” he asks softly, his voice warm and soothing.
You want to respond, but your body has other plans. The feeling of his touch comforts you as you nuzzle closer and close your eyes. You fight the urge to flutter your lids, but the exhaustion begins to creep in despite your best efforts. 
“Fantastic—,” you murmur, but even as you say it, you feel yourself dozing.
Choso kisses your forehead, his arms tightening around you. Being with him feels like a rush of pure, unfiltered joy where the world is impossibly right and there’s nothing that can go wrong. 
You wish this was everyday life. But deep down inside, you know that it doesn’t work like that. It can’t work like that. It never works like that.
Stop, you tell yourself. Not tonight.
You push those reservations aside for another day.
✦✧✸✧✦
Choso lies still, feeling the weight of you in his arms. He debates whether he should wake you up or not so he can drive you home—after all, you both still have work tomorrow. But when he glances down and sees the peaceful look on your face, he hesitates. You look so comfortable, so safe.
Selfish, he thinks. I’m selfish for wanting you to stay.
He lets out a sigh. The idea of forcing you into the cold night and dealing with the weight of responsibility, feels like an unnecessary cruelty—for both of you. He takes a chance and decides he can take you home early in the morning with more than enough time for you to get ready. The thought of stealing a few more hours with you, even if it’s just to sleep is hard to resist.
Carefully, he slips his arm out from under you, moving with deliberate caution to avoid waking you. Once free, he stands and surveys the aftermath of the evening. Clothes are everywhere, the food is still out—everything is a chaotic mess but he doesn’t care because he made it with you. He picks up your clothes, setting everything neatly in one place. Then, with the same care, he moves to the kitchen to clean up the remnants of dinner—the half-empty wine glasses, the abandoned plates. He moves with quiet purpose, giving himself something to do as his mind races.
What am I doing? He wonders, putting away the remaining set of dishes.
You are everything he wants but someone he can���t have, unless you let him. You’re a strong, beautiful, and intelligent woman. But he can see it: even though you make an effort to try, you’re guarded, hesitant, as if afraid this could become something more.
Choso feels the invisible walls you’ve put up. He isn’t sure if it’s out of caution or traces of something deeper, but it makes him tread lightly. Yet here you are, asleep in his bed, and he can’t deny how badly he wants to be with you, to know you.
Once the mess is cleaned, Choso gets ready for bed, brushing his teeth and washing his face to cool the heat still lingering in his body.
He checks his phone and sets an alarm for 6 a.m. Hopefully that’ll be enough time to get you home before you need to start the day. As he slips back under the covers, he scoots closer to you and rests his hand on the curve of your hip. He closes his eyes, letting the rhythm of your breathing lull him to sleep.
✦✧✸✧✦
It’s 6:00am and the deafening sound of his alarm shatters the silence. Choso groans, blindly reaching out to shut it off. He rolls over instinctively, his arm seeking the familiar warmth of your body—but there’s nothing.
His eyes snap open. The sheets are rumpled but empty.
Sitting up, he glances around the room. Your clothes, your shoes—they’re gone. He grabs his phone, but there are no calls, no messages— nothing. The truth hits him like a cold gust of air.
No apartments after tonight, Choso reminds himself. He immediately dreads the fact that the night has ended and another day begins.
Choso drops back onto the bed, the empty space beside him feeling heavier now. 
Everything now is crystal clear—there’s clearly a path you want to take. And while he wants to join you, he’s starting to question if he’s ready to follow.
--
taglist: @jud3thedude @makingtimemine @chosslut @liiiacke @trishiepo0 @celestialforce
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kittynugg · 1 day ago
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stan and ford highELEMENTARY school thoughts (highschool edition)
-They were raised Jewish so I think it'd be funny if they went around telling kids Santa wasn't real not knowing the childhoods they ruined.
-Actually stole pies from windowsills. Their favorite target was their teacher Ms. Crampelter, she always made the best pies.
-So idk if you've read Lost Legends whomever is looking at this post but they do have a cat. This cat didn't have a name, they just called him whatever felt right in the moment. (Usually "Kitty", but Stan always tried to make Ford laugh by giving him the most absurd name he could think of at the moment. My favorite example is "Beef Stroganoff".)
-Stan literally ate dirt. He drew the line at sand, though. He's not a fucking animal.
-Ford took the top bunk of their bunk bed, not just because Stan's afraid of heights but because he was afraid of the dark and liked having the vantage point. This wasn't usually necessary since Stan stayed up until he fell asleep to ensure his safety.
-^ Adding onto this one, the thought of Stan and Ford snuggling together whenever they were scared at night makes my heart fucking melt. So I'm saying they do. Yes I said "do" they still do. (platonically, don't fucking tag this as ship.)
-Stan swore, nothing crazy but "What the Hell!?" or "Crap!" were fairly common phrases for him.
-Ford wasn't really considered a "freak" until he tried to hold hands with Cathy Crenshaw (school crush according to the journal but fuck you he's aroace I thought I had crushes in school and I'm aroace so silence) and freaked her out with his extra finger. He never really understood why everyone around him changed until he was faced with the cruelness of reality this poor baby.
-Stan's first instinct when he got a cut was to lick it. Ford always thought it was gross but if he burns his finger or gets a papercut he has to consciously fight the urge to stick it in his mouth.
-Ford loved vegetables, he'd always eat them first at dinner and go back for seconds before he even touched the actual food. It got to a point where they stopped letting them have any until he finished the main part of the meal.
-When it snowed, Stan and Ford would either immediately go out to play in it or watch it out the window in Stan's bunk together if they couldn't go outside.
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felassan · 2 days ago
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Some more DA:TV and related snippets from Sylvia Feketekuty, Part 2. rest of post under a cut due to length and spoilers. [Post One, Post Three]
The dev team really wanted to deliver on Emmrich's romance [source]
Sylvia Feketekuty has now left BioWare so there are likely some things she can't answer now "just because I can't look them up with certainty anymore" [source]
When Emmrich is first introduced, he has a skull helmet. Why does it never ever appear for the next 40-100 hours? "The helmet does indeed look wicked! I believe it actually shows up on his shelf in the Lighthouse eventually. (If I had been a smarter writer I would've asked if we could have it appear again, that one's on me.)" [source]
User: "In another post you mentioned shops in Nevarra City near the Necropolis. How far IS Nevarra City itself is from the Necropolis? Do only senior MWs get to go?" / Sylvia: "I'm reluctant to say what the distance is since I never defined it in game so it's Unknown™. But I imagine they can either walk or take a carriage, depending. Also I never imagined junior MWers are forbidden from going into town or such. It could be they have set hours and times where they're allowed. But got to get all those chores done first..." [source, two]
On the DA:I goat scene ([link]) - "The GOAT! God bless them, that was a delight." [source]
Brian J. Audette, on [this thread] - ""Better late than never" addendum to this thread. I just noticed that Isle of the Gods' writer Sylvia is on here now and I'd be remiss not to tag her in this thread. I can't say enough wonderful things about having worked with Sylvia on this mission." [source] / Sylvia: "Thanks Brian! You tackled an absolutely jam-packed mission with aplomb." [source]
Jo Berry: "Thank you for everything and everything else, on both Veilguard and Inquisition. Sunlight on your road, wherever it goes." [source] / Sylvia: "Thank YOU for all your writing Jo. Seriously, you were a godsend on Veilguard and DAI both." [source]
Trick Weekes: "It's been fantastic working with you, Sylvia, and I know you're going to crush it with whatever you do next. Thank you for finally letting me make you "the person who has to do journals so Trick doesn't" on one of our projects." [source] / Sylvia: "Thank you Trick! I'll miss working with you. It was an honour to finally be given the awesome responsibility of the journal system that still haunts my dreams." [source]
John Epler: "sylvia did you see i told the world Emmrich sleeps standing up like a horse" [source] / Sylvia: "It's days later but: yes. Yes I did." [source]
User: "As someone who also has a truly debilitating fear of death, Emmrich is so special to me. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen it represented in such a clear and concise way." / Sylvia: "Thanks, definitely felt that fear myself. I really wanted to express it clearly and was hoping would resonate with others." [source]
User: "Do you have any thoughts or opinions on what nickname Emmrich might have gotten from Varric if he'd ever gotten one?" / Sylvia: "Oh man that's a good question, but ultimately since I didn't write Varric, that must remain a mystery. Nicknames can only be bestowed. ("Bones" like someone suggested below is funny though.)" [source]
User: "If Emmrich's hobby is alchemy/plants, Vorgoth's is art, and Audric's is architecture... what's Myrna's? (Next to Emmrich, she's my favorite Watcher - sorry Vorgoth!)" / Sylvia: "Myrna has a one off line, you may not have heard it yet, where she talks to Vorgoth about getting tickets to the Sword of Drakon.* She enjoys a night out at the theater, whether it's a play or an opera. *(I think that's the play I named, I hope I'm recalling my own line haha.) It's a bit indulgent of me, but I chose Sword of Drakon because it was one of the plays I made up for a series of codices in DAI about Orlesian theater. I had a lot of fun with these and wanted to give them life once more. [link]" [source, two]
User: "During Rook’s disappearance in the prison, how did Emmrich react? Considering their intense romance, did he fall into depression, or did he show a more vulnerable side? Could his fear of death have influenced the situation? In the immortal romance💀, Emmrich promises that nothing will separate them, not in this world or any other. How likely is that? Would he go to great lengths for Rook, even crossing boundaries? Or, at some point, would he accept Rook's death?" / Sylvia: "1) Very strongly! I think it's a bit more interesting if I leave details to your imaginations, but Emmrich feels things deeply and probably had some sleepless nights. 2) So this I can't say much on even though it's a juicy topic. The truth is, I wouldn't even know unless I was actually sitting down to write it. Again, Emmrich feels things very passionately, but this is the kind of scenario where I might want the player's choices to have an effect." [source, two]
User: "Any chance that color scheme [of Emmrich's coat] was based off the corpse flower?" / Sylvia: "I couldn't find anything on the colour scheme and the corpse flower. Afraid this one's a mystery to me." [source]
User: "I'm really curious if there's a Nevarrese language? We have Orlesian, Antivan, Tevene, Qunlat..." / Sylvia: "I wondered that myself, especially given its ancient ties with Tevinter and also Orlais which would certainly have affected the languages of power and influence. Could also have roots with the Planasene. We never talked about one though, as far as I know, so the answer remains...unknown. 💀 (I did introduce tomb-script, the language you see etched into stone in the Necropolis, but I thought of it as more of a specialist's language for occult and magical things specifically.) (If we did define a Nevarran language in some corner of the lore, now I'm going to feel embarrassed, but I don't BELIEVE we did.)" [source, two, three]
User: "I wanted to ask if you have anything you can share about MW grave dowry jewellery - is it the sort of thing they keep on at all times? Also, would Emmrich like jewellery gifts or give them to Rook?" / Sylvia: "I figured it would be something they wear most of the time, or at least in public. You don't want to be without your grave-gold if you pass away! Emmrich would love to get jewellery, especially if it marked a special occasion like his other pieces do! He'd also probably like to gift Rook a piece of grave gold himself, though he knows a non-MW Rook might look at that part askance." [source, two]
User: "Question: how much if anything can you tell us about the circumstances surrounding the emergence of Emmrich's magic and him going to the Mourn Watch? In my mind, his parents' death could certainly be a catalyst for the emergence of mage powers, but I'm so curious why the butcher's boy goes to what seems the equivalent of Nevarran Harvard instead of a regular Circle unless he immediately demonstrated outstanding ability?" / Sylvia: So timeline wise, I think his magic manifested after he was taken in. This part isn't canon, so much as a background thought I had that maybe the spirits of the Necropolis nudged the MW to scoop up this future corpse-whisperer. It seems like a kind of place ripe for that sort of omen. That said, it could've also been a kindhearted Watcher who saw how shattered and alone this young boy was, and thought an upbringing in the Grand Necropolis would be the better place to deal with his grief. It's the kind of thing I want to leave open unless someone goes back one day to fill it out!" [source, two]
User: "what’s the overall Mourn Watch opinion on the whole Weekend at King Markus’s the other Mortalitasi are pulling? I can’t blame Emmrich for not wanting to be involved with that political mess!" / Sylvia: "No clue what you're talking about. King Markus is in the finest of health!!!!! ahahahahaha (To my mind Emmrich's response indicates a tension between the orders, but that they're going along with the polite fiction to avoid a mess. I can't say what the future holds though.)" [source]
User: "Ah, one last note: whoever decided “DA liches are immortal protectors and not always evil?” Chef’s kiss. It’s all I’ve ever wanted!" / Sylvia: "Thanks again! It was in Emmrich's first draft. The other writers and editors gave me good feeback on lichdom and the philosophy behind it especially" [source]
User: "I'm an ICU nurse, and that is imagined to confer a comfort with mortality. Suffice to say Emmrich has been a huge comfort to see." / Sylvia: "Thanks so much. I really wanted him to struggle with it while also engaging with it, because it's something I find hard as well. And I hoped it would find purchase with players." [source]
User: "If you’re willing, can you share a bit about the other orders within the Mortalitasi? Is there a rivalry with the Tevinter Imperium?" / Sylvia: I'm afraid I don't have much, sorry. I left the other Mortalitasi orders a big open canvas in case we wanted to invent more some day. (We've mentioned the palace Mortalitasi are separate from the Mourn Watch, so there's one. As you probably caught, Emmrich's not a fan of theirs.) Is there a rivalry with the Tevinter Imperium? I can't really point to anything in the game talking about that, so I hesitate to call it canon. But to my mind it would be very natural and also very funny. So if that ever manifests, I approve." [source, two]
User: "was any of Emmrich's design or personality modeled on British actor David Niven? I think there is resemblance just wondering if that was intentional." / Sylvia: "Oh I love David Niven. But the more direct actor influence for me was Peter Cushing in a few old Hammer Horror films." [source]
User: "just wanted to say thank you for creating the character of Josephine in Inq!! Helped me learn some stuff about myself when I was younger and meant a lot." / Sylvia: "Thank you so much on all counts! I'm glad the lovely Lady Montilyet was there for you (and enormous credit to her actor, Allegra Clark. She absolutely nailed Josephine, straight away.)" [source]
User, on Emmrich: "He mentions he thought he would marry - is that permitted for Mortalitasi when it wasn't for regular Circle mages? Can they now raise their own children?" / Sylvia: Mortalitasi have a lot of power. I imagine the Nevarran Chantry might grant them permission to marry outside the Circle more regularly than in places where mages are given less respect. (Mages can also marry within Circles, so no permission needed in those cases.) The same might be true for mages raising mage-born children in Nevarra, but I say that with less certainty. I think that's a topic I would've wanted to discuss with the rest of the narrative team." [source, two]
User: "is there a particular reason why emmrich is always wearing a glove on one hand?" / Sylvia: "I like to think it's mostly because he works a lot with his hands. The glove seems useful if he has to, say, grip a rough outcrop of rock when traversing the Necropolis, or deal with a bitey corpse." [source]
User, on Emmrich: "On my 1st run I played a trans Rook and romanced him. It felt incredible how he was so accepting of Rook's identity, and in return she could support him as he did a transition of his own as well. Beautiful mirroring!" / Sylvia: "Thanks very much! If those scenes worked, it's thanks to some people at work who kindly gave feedback that helped get the tone right." [source]
User: "I've been wanting to thank you for writing Luck in the Gardens for 4 years. Hollix was the first time I ever saw a non-binary character given a real voice." / Sylvia: "I loved writing Hollix in that story, they were a treat, and I'm glad they meant a lot to you. (And a shout out to a nb friend who gave me some good feedback on the character, I don't think the story would've been as clear without their help.)" [source]
User: "I was curious about Audric from TN, and if he originally was planned to have an appearance in veilguard, and what he's up to now" / Sylvia: "Love Audric, but I never planned to bring him into VG. I'm not AGAINST it, but I didn't want the short stories to feel like required reading for the game, and I liked where his arc ended in DatDM. That said, I dropped in a few references to Audric to let people know he's around and well. And I imagine he's doing what he loves: being a force of order, in the library. (And reading books during the more quiet hours below.)" [source, two]
User: "As a consumer of (and probably future creator of) so called "erotic" fanficfion, I'm wondering how you feel about the fact that fans make it about a character you created?" / Sylvia: "No issues with it whatsoever. We put sex and romance into the game itself, after all. I think people use fan art and fanfiction to extend their time with a story they've grown fond of, or to figure things out. So it feels like a natural extension of that." [source]
User: "Maybe one day my rook will join the mw!" / Sylvia: "Well, the Grand Necropolis is always eager for more company...🪦👻" [source]
User: "did the flame eternal (short story) come first or the flame eternal (quest)? i’ve been wondering if the quest was named after the story or vice versa" / Sylvia: "I wrote the scene first, the short story came after. But I named the quest AFTER the short story had come out, so I'd say the quest is named for the story because I liked the callback." [source]
User: "1.I know John answered already that Emmrich sleeps like a horse but is there really no bed for this man? 2.How would he react to a bouquet made for him?" / Sylvia: "1. Unknown. Perhaps he brings out pillows and a blanket for the slab in his room (after scrubbing it, of course!) Perhaps he goes home to an elaborate silk-covered bed in his Necropolis apartments. Or the horse thing. (TBH: I never decided myself, so I've leaned into impish mystery). 2. Emmrich would be absolutely delighted and flattered by being presented with a flower bouquet." [source, two]
User: "I hope it's okay to pop here but it might interest you to know a lot of us have been headcanoning that he has a secret bedroom behind one of his bookshelves! It seemed to line up with his sensibilities somewhat." / Sylvia: "That would honestly be great. Pull out the right book and snooze time." [source]
User, on the cemetery date: "This makes me feel like Mourn Watchers include the dead in important personal milestones/events and, if so, I love that so much. Like they want to share these events and the joy/love/excitement/etc. with those who have passed (and perhaps linger.)" / Sylvia: "That's absolutely how I thought of it too." [source]
User: "was there any game/book/show/film that inspired the Mourn Watch and Emmrich? When I saw them in the preview content, I got reminded of the Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir and playing through the game cemented those vibes." / Sylvia: "I hadn't read any Locked Tomb when writing Emmrich, I think we must both just have impeccable taste. (I actually tried to stay away from contemporary stuff on necromancy when writing him, out of a superstitious fear I'd be unduly influenced. I do want to talk about influences later though!)" [source]
User, on Josie: "Do you think she’s open to having kids/adopting with the Inquisitor? Lord Ontranto and Yvette are so ahead!" / Sylvia: "I think that falls firmly within the category of what you imagine she and your Inquisitor's romance looks like, which means: absolutely, if that's where you imagine life would take them." [source]
User: "Emmrich, his story & everything surrounding him absolutely played a huge part in helping to lift me up & connecting me with new friends online" / Sylvia: "Thank you! And I'm very glad to hear Emmrich and his fellow Watchers helped you out when you needed it. He'd be pleased to know so himself." [source]
User: "Was it ever considered for him to appear in the game?" / Sylvia: "(short answer is no, but I wanted to let people know Audric's doing well.)" [source]
User: "I enjoyed your short stories in Tevinter Nights. Emmrich mentioned working out in the morning. What does his morning routine look like, and what kind of exercise does he do?" / Sylvia: "Thanks so much! Those stories have a special place in my heart, so that's especially nice to hear. On exercise: He likes a brisk stroll, and does morning stretches, and for something more strenuous, he likes to go swimming. Why? It's a workout where you don't have to worry about sweating. That just seemed to align with his fastidiousness in a funny way to me. (I also imagine exploring the Necropolis keeps him active, climbing all those stairs and crumbling ledges and the outsized walls of hallowed tombs, etc.)" [source, two]
User: "Harding will turn to a MW Rook who's been talking nerdy necro shop with Emmrich, and goes (paraphrasing), "You're so different when you're talking about this stuff than you are when you hang out with us!" and I loved that" / Sylvia: "Yes indeed! And thanks. I really wanted a beat where you realize MW Rook has learned to swap between being a fancy nerd and talking a bit more like "regular" people in Thedas. It seemed like a fun trait for that background." [source]
Sylvia, on how she came to BioWare: "No formal training. The closest to practice I had was running tabletop RPGs for friends, which actually helped me a lot with understanding the different kind of RPG players out there and what people want out of a story. And honestly: I just kept applying, over and over. That was my main virtue. I was rejected the first couple times I applied to BW. And rightly, I think, I wasn't ready and practicing in between really helped me become a stronger writer." [source, two]
Some more on this topic ^ from Sylvia: "To be honest: mostly luck, some perseverance, and then writing skills, in that order. I was rejected at least twice from BW before I got in, and I think they were right to do so. I wasn't ready yet. The third round someone I knew passed on my sample to a writer there, I did two more rounds of samples while taking feedback and revising over the next month. And then I was lucky enough they liked it enough to interview me. I wish I had better advice than perseverance. I think having a small, completed game, even something text based or a mod, isn't bad either. Even if it's short, it shows you finished it. But: my entry was over 15 years ago now, and to be honest I'm not sure what BW's applicant process are anymore. I don't want to be discouraging though. I would say keep applying, and make friends with like minded people who also want to make games, and best of luck." [source, two, three, four]
User: "I've been wondering something about Mourn Watch Rook's background - their bio says they were found as a baby + raised by the MW, and they reference it in-game, but then they also say they were a street kid and left their old life behind to join the MW to Taash. I'm just curious how one - being raised by the MW - lead to the other - street kid era. I just hc'd it as a euphemism for my Rook's party girl phase lol but it did leave me a little confused." / Sylvia: "This is a case of the background changing slightly over time, and me not squaring it in time with dialogue. In my mind: MW IS found by the Mourn Watch, raised by them, and work for them. But MW Rook also had period(s?) growing up where they explored Nevarra city, to explain why they're more. street savvy and worldly than your typical Watchers who never leave the city. I've seen people noting some discrepancies, and in a perfect world I would've caught those lines in time to smooth them out to encompass the whole story. But perhaps your Rook gives slightly different answers to different people for their own, mysterious reasons! (Or, in reality, it's writer error.)" [source, two, three] "Anyhow, I encourage any head canons that help square these discrepancies" [source]
User: "I romanced him on a Rook that I perceived as about 42ish and my running interpretation of the lines acknowledging her being young were either Emmrich not realizing how old she is, a running bit between them, or some cute form of flattery to not remind her of her own age haha" / Sylvia: "That's adorable, I love it" [source]
User: "1. What would Josie's ideal date be? 2. Could adopted kids be heir of the Montilyet estate or would it go to Yvette? 3. What does Josie think of the Crows?" / Sylvia: "1. I think she'd try to structure something, but the Inquisitor taking her away from her strictly scheduled routine to relax would actually be better for her. A picnic in a garden, a stroll around a lake followed by a meal in a quiet little restaurant. Something with a soft evening. 2. I don't think I ever said so in the game, but to my mind Josephine had some nieces and nephews in line to be heir. If she adopted a child and thought they'd be a better candidate, they could absolutely inherit the estate. (And of course, she could bequeath money or personal effects as she liked.) 3. She thinks of them as a necessity in Antiva, and that it's important to appease them. There's probably highly placed Crows she would get along with. But she'd never be comfortable with them. At the end of the day they're contract killers, and she's no lover of violence. (If I actually DID mention who Josephine had lined up to inherit the estate after her, but just forgot, I will ask for mercy because the game came out over 10 years ago.)" [source, two, three, four]
User: "Would you ever consider making a playlist on spotify of the sort of music you could picture Emmerich listening to? Or perhaps sharing any of the music you listened to while writing Emmrich?" / Sylvia: "I actually have an itunes playlist of what I listened to when writing Emmrich on my old computer. If I dig it out, I'll post a screenshot! (A lot of ambient stuff, probably unsurprisingly)" [source]
User: "I utterly, completely adore the way Josephine was written, she's such a wonderful and complex character. Her history as a bard, her ruthlessness, her kindness and sweet nature and how CUTE her romance is." / Sylvia: "Lady Montilyet herself would be flattered to hear you liked it." [source]
User, on Sylvia's comment about Peter Cushing being a go-to for what Emmrich would be like: "This makes me so unbelievably happy given my love for Peter Cushing 😭 my love for Emmrich was inevitable." / Sylvia: "I want to talk a little more about it later but Cushing was such a wonderful actor. Wish we'd had him around even longer." [source]
User, on death and working in death care: "In the end, it’s always about memory." / Sylvia: "That's so true. We want to be remembered, or to have something that lets people know even a little about who we are. (It's why I'm glad newspapers still print obituaries, you can read about the most amazing lives.)" [source]
User: "I was starting to think the game was reading my mind and tailoring to me once he said his favorite color was lilac, and I was given the option to say darker purple." / Sylvia: "I'm glad you enjoyed Emmrich and his romance. And that the bit about colours worked for you, I was trying to think of what would be something fun there, and purple is one of my favorites too. (Fine taste!)" [source]
User: "“Down Among the Dead Men” is one of my favorite chapters from Tevinter Nights. I loved Audric and I was so happy when Myrna mentioned him in Veilguard! Was there any chance he might’ve appeared in game?" / Sylvia: "basically I didn't plan it, but I wanted to let TN readers know Audric is living well" [source]
User: "If Hezenkoss was also you ALL of that was a sheer stroke of brilliance!" / Sylvia: "Thank you! Hezenkoss was me, so glad you liked her. She was a blast to write. Oh my god, I meant to write Hezenkoss was one of my favorites not "me". (I think I snipped out something and consequentially sound like a maniac in that post above. SORRY. She is not me, I wish I had that kind of confidence.)" [source, two]
User, on behalf of their friend: "Well, spontaneously I'd be interested if she can say any more about Emmrich's past romances. Was there someone really serious among them, or all just fun and casual? I'm also curious how the whole mage training works in Nevarra. Are some trained from the start by the Mourn Watch or does everyone go to the Mortalitasi equivalent of a Circle first?" / Sylvia: "1. I think there was probably a mix of more serious romances and more casual ones over Emmrich's life. The serious ones just never panned out. (Until Rook, if you're romancing him.) 2. I pictured the MW taking in promising members from other circles, but I left their selection criteria vague on purpose, in case we needed to define it later. Of course, there's also exceptions. We've seen they take in some orphans or foundlings (MW Rook and Emmrich, for example) when fate, chance, or pity allows it. (I had an idea spirits might sometimes nudge MWers to take in someone, but that's not in the game, so it remains, I suppose now, my own head canon.)" [source, two, three, four]
User: "Emmrich is every bit the warm and kind academic that I looked up to in my undergrad/postgrad days, and I have taken time in the game just to wander the Grand Necropolis and take everything in." / Sylvia: "My pleasure, and thanks very much for saying so. (Props to all my teammates, it took a lot of people to bring those characters and places to life, and they were all so enthusiastic about our weird gothy corner of Thedas.)" [source]
User, on Emmrich's dream: "One of few cases where writers don't go for "actually immortality is lame" lesson to appease the audience for whom immortality is unattainable. Refreshing to have a character who wants to live forever, can do it, and it isn't treated as a mistake. One of the boldest bits of writing in the game." / Sylvia: "Thanks Mary - that was one of my aims, because so many times in stories, immortality is a fool's errand. I wanted it to have its rules, and its price, but not something disastrous or out of reach." [source]
User: "The MW as a whole was beautifully done and the way they handle life and death was deeply healing and aided tremendously in my own personal journey with grief." / Sylvia: "I'm very glad meeting Emmrich and the Watchers helped even a little, that means a lot to hear." [source]
User: "Amazing work in veilguard and inquisition honestly and the flame eternal was such a fun read! Unless it’s been answered before my query is where do the Mourn watchers live/sleep? Is it a case of they live in the higher parts of the Necropolis or do they live in the city and commute?" / Sylvia: "Flame Eternal was a fun one, hadn't written a story that short before but I enjoyed introducing Johanna and Emmrich's dynamic back in their good old days... As to your question, there's one line of banter between Emmrich and Neve that talks about this (so, very easy to miss.) The Mourn Watchers live and sleep in the upper (safer) levels of the Necropolis." [source, two]
User: "does mortal!Emmrich return to the Necropolis or spend more time in the world first? He plays detective with Neve & camps in Ferelden with Harding feels like he’d want to experience more of the world before returning home." / Sylvia: "Impossible for me to say what the future will hold with certainty, but I think Emmrich's enjoying exploring the world too much to go back to living in the Necropolis full time just yet. He'd certainly want to keep visiting regularly, but there's so much more to see." [source]
Sylvia: "The Watchers have a special place in my heart." [source]
User: "I just wanted to say how much I love Emmrich" / Sylvia: "Thank you very much! I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed getting to know him." [source]
at this point tumblr stopped letting me add to this post !
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ravenwind-75 · 13 hours ago
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Thanks to brain rotting with @witchyafterdark and @butternutt613 I present to you:
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Military Ominis Headcanons
Marine
Captain
Colder side:
Ultimate Dominis
Would 💯 step on you
Those biceps are like a constrictor 👀
Authoritarian
Ruthless in battle
Dismissive to the “inferior”
Manipulative
Seeking vengeance
Isolated and cold
Cruel
Warmer side:
Absolute gentleman when he’s not being strict
Quiet and avoids the ruckus in the barracks
Drinks occasionally but hates how he acts when he is drunk so tries to avoid it
Will laugh quietly in his bunker with a close friend
Great at planning strategies
Defends and protects his men strongly
Sacrificial and loyal ofc
Great at field medicine
Strong moral code: against injustice and ambiguity
Great leader, compassionate
Close to a few specific comrades
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If Seb and Omi were to be in the military, Ominis would be higher in rank than Seb.
Ominis has more discipline
He wouldn’t wince because he’s used to pain😭
He wouldn’t flinch when yelled at
The lieutenants would see a lot of commandeering energy in Ominis. More disciplined. More in command.
If you were to anger him in any way, he wouldn’t yell at you. He'd just command you to kneel upright for hours, and do planks for 5 minutes straight.
He won't even address you by your name!
He'd only nudge you by his boot
Can only call him “sir” or “Captain”
On the bright side he probably would give you a few chances at first, being merciful until he needs to make sure you know he’s serious
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Sebastian would be a cocky soldier
Flirting
Be flipped on his face out of bed in the morning
Has to polish Ominis’s boots and do his laundry
Clean the whole barracks
Sebastian to be woken up at the break of dawn
And has to run for miles
Not only that but he has to be in charge of the squadrons whole laundry
If he doesn’t he wakes up to a serpent curled on his chest and has to apologize a hundred times before he can move. Or if they were friends a lighter punishment like ice cold water dumped on him.
“Yes Captain Gaunt sir!”
He’d probably be a Sergeant First Class once Ominis straightens him out a bit.
(Probably more will come when we see Soldier Sebastian)
……………….
As for spicy headcanons….
Those are staying under wraps. I’d rather not post them but I’ll leave that to the others or your imagination.
……..
Tagging @ps-cactus because you said not to send help but I’m sure gentlemanly Captain Gaunt will be your savior.
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Military Ominis would have me kicking my feet and giggling…..profusely.
(He’s meant to be partially blinded from an incident)
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gloomskulls · 2 days ago
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LIMERENCE PT 2 [tasm!peter parker x reader
pairings: tasm!peter parker x reader
part 1
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warning(s): dub/non consensual (reader is drunk and drunk people cannot give consent), terribly written smut (i'm a virgin i'm sorry, I have no idea what goes on actually in the bed), oral (fem receiving), drinking, drunk reader, overstimulation, everyone is 18+ here lemme know if I missed any
If you don't want to see my dark stories in the future please block the tag #madi: dark content
A/n: I'm sorry this took a whole ass while, it's probs 90% story and 10% smut. Like it's probs shit, the smut's the reason why I couldn't finish this sooner because I had no idea where it was going. Also tried to write 2012 slang, idk if it even sounds right. don't steal any of the shit I've written or else I'm going to turn you into Victoria Heyes from terrifier ❤️🫶/srs
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Peter shuffled in his sleep. Tossing and turning. Sleep never found him, how could it? He did something so unforgivable. Having an obsession with someone who barely acknowledges your existence is one thing, but sneaking into her house, completely crossing every single line, and then jerking off to the scent of your panties while imagining you on top of him, riding him as you creamed his cock with your cum.
The air felt heavy and there was an almost stifling silence in his small bedroom, while his mind worked in the manner of a broken machine, looping thoughts.
Every single thing about you — your laugh, the spark in your eyes when you spoke of something you loved, the way you uttered his name — his mind kept replaying like a broken record. Each one felt as fresh as if it had just taken place a moment ago, and each one pulled at something deep within his chest.
He had spent years arguing with himself about what he was doing. He told himself that viewing you from a distance was merely innocent fascination, a little crush. But that had been a lie. What he had done the night before, sneaking into your room was not a mistake; it was a deliberate decision.
Peter was filled with doubts, a regular person would call him lovesick, a creep even. Is she really worth it? Peter admits something he'd been avoiding for a while.
He wanted you.
Not as a classmate. Not as a partner for a stupid project. He wanted you in a way that was raw and desperate and consuming. Oh, he wanted you to look at him the way you look at the rest of the world with trust, with affection, with the same ease that made you laugh at his dumb jokes.
The realization hit him hard. The weight of it sank into his chest like a boulder, but there was a rush of something else too-something darker, more intoxicating.
Peter sat up abruptly, there's only one way or another, heart hammering as he snatched up his phone. Tapping out a quick message, he did so with trembling hands.
"Hey, u free 2nite? Was thinkin maybe we could finish the proj & grab dinner after. My treat. :)"
He stared at the screen, his thumb hovered over the send button. The fear crept back in, whispering in the back of his mind. What if she thought he was crazy? What if she rejected me outright? What if everything he'd built up in his head came crashing down?
Many thoughts crowded his mind, neither of them was good
As he stared at the text, his finger quivered. His stomach tightening in knots. The reply was already forming in his mind—would you say yes? Or perhaps he was weird for asking, for suggesting anything other than school?
But what if he didn't ask? What if he kept on pretending that this crush wasn't eating him up from the inside?
I've got to do this; he tried to steady his breath. This would never come again.
Deep breath and then Peter clicked "send."
Time seemed to stretch into eternity. His mind was racing, spinning out into the worst-case scenarios. You could just say no or even laugh it off and tell him it wasn't a good idea. It's a biology project, after all. That's what it was supposed to be—right?
That crumbled page of biology scraps lay on his desk as evidence of the project you both were working on. It was supposed to be a simple collaboration, probably will last for a few weeks if he was lucky, and then he'd just go back to being invisible to you.
But he didn't want to go back to being invisible.
He sat there at the edge of the bed, hunched over in an awkward position, his elbows rested on the stretched knees, and he stared his phone, convinced that at any moment it would leave his grip. He had typed the message, the own words glowing brighter as he waited.
He had redone it like at least a dozen times, but all versions felt way too casual to too formal. His current message was just right; friendly, innocent enough but still an invite.
What if you think it is strange? What if you don't even reply at all?
He shook his head to stabilize his breathing. It's alright, he told himself. His not asking for something crazy. It's only a dinner.
But it wasn't just a dinner. It was the convergence of years of quiet yearning, stolen glances, and missed opportunities. This was the first real step toward something more, if only he could find the courage to take it.
He shunned his phone flat on the bed thinking that might ease the tension in his chest, but it didn't. His heart raced as seconds ticked by on the clock, each second feeling like an eternally long wait.
What if you didn't reply?
What if you did?
His thoughts were interrupted abruptly as his phone buzzed.
He grabbed it with trembling hands.
"Sure! I'm totally in. Where r we meeting? 7?"
He read the message over and over again: You're saying yes. Relief was an actual weight that was just lifted as disbelief flooded him as he blinked at the screen, rereading the message to make sure it hadn't been imagined.
For a moment, he allowed himself to smile, but it quickly disappeared. Now that he got the answer, a different kind of panic struck.
What happens next?
"Yea 7’s cool, I’ll pick u up @ ur place"
He looked up at the clock-6:30. In thirty minutes, he needed to get ready. Thirty minutes within which he needed to figure out how not to screw this one up completely.
Peter fell out of his chair and quickly rifled through his closet for something fresh and unique that didn't look like it had just been thrown on five minutes ago. His room was strung out in a mess of hoodies and T-shirts that didn't do any good as he tried on piece after piece-each feeling wrong.
"Relax," he murmured at himself while gazing at his reflection in the mirror. Hi hair looked like he just crawled out from under the bed, his face was red, and no matter how many adjustments he attempted on the clothes, he still looked like the awkward kid he'd always been.
Peter raced around his pod-sized room in search of a shirt that didn't scream "high school loser." The bed was a battlefield littered with crumpled hoodies, a checkered flannel, even his Midtown Science Academy T-shirt.
"Peter?" Aunt May's curious sounding voice called out from the hallway.
"Yeah?" he shouted back while looking through his closet and listening.
"Why does it sound like a tornado hit your room? Are you okay in there?"
Peter groaned and threw another hoodie onto the pile he was amassing on the bed. "I'm fine!"
The creaky door slammed open a moment later, and Aunt May peeked her head in. Her sharp eyes traveled the disaster area that was his room, from the piles of clothes, and even down to the one sneaker he was wearing.
"Uh-huh. Fine." She crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe. "What's all this about? A wardrobe crisis?"
He sighed at her and rubbed the back of his neck. "Nothing serious, okay? I just… I'm going out."
May raised an eyebrow as her lips twitched as if trying hard not to smile. "Going out? As in… on a date?"
"What? No!" Peter's voice shot up as he spun around, waving his hands. "It's not a date! It's just dinner. For a project. With a friend."
By now, she wasn't even trying to hide her grin. "A 'friend,' huh? Is this the same 'friend' you've been talking about nonstop since this biology project started?"
"I don't talk about her nonstop!" protested Peter, turning into a shade of tomato. "Oh, you definitely do," Uncle Ben countered from outside the hallway and into the room, sporting the knowing smirk of someone who has heard too much. "Half the time, it's, 'Oh, she's so smart,' and the other half is, 'She's so good at this lab thing.'" He said with a dreamy tone
"Okay, okay, so I get it!" he groaned while burying his face in his hands. "Can we not do this now?"
Ben laughed and slapped Peter on the shoulder. “Relax, kid. We are just teasing, and you've got this.”
May walked into the room and picked up one of the forgotten shirts from the bed. Holding it up, she said, "What is wrong with this? Nice but casual, not slobby."
Peter squinted at it. "It's too—I don't know; plain?"
"Plain is better than looking as if you are trying too hard," she said, tossing it to him.
Uncle Ben nodded sagely. "It's right." "You don't want to go full tuxedo on a first—uh, not a date," he added quickly, holding up his hands when Peter glared at him.
Peter huffed but pulled the shirt over his head anyway. "You two are the worst," he muttered, though his tone lacked any real bite.
May smiled and reached out, smoothing the collar of his shirt. "We are not the worst. We are just proud of you. It's good to see you putting yourself out there."
"I'm not—," Peter began, but Ben cut him off.
"You are," Ben said firmly. "That's a good thing. Just be yourself, Pete. If she's as great as you say she is, she'll see what we see, a smart, kind, slightly awkward but very lovable kid."
Peter's face burned. "Yea, you really know how to give a pep talk."
"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Ben fired back with a grin.
May handed Peter his second sneaker. "Here. Don't forget this, unless you're planning to really impress her with your one-shoe look."
Peter rolled his eyes but could not quite hide the grin that crept onto his lips. "Thanks, Aunt May."
So Ben called after him as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. "And remember, kid—Italian places usually give you breadsticks first. Don't fill up before the main course!"
Peter groaned loudly. "I'm going now! Bye!"
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He was there, at your door, heart pounding heavily, as if wanting to burst out from the body. He lingered for a while, staring at the doorbell.
What if this is a mistake?
But before you could think otherwise, the button pressed his finger.
And then echoed the sound of the bell from inside, and Peter felt that the earth would open up and swallow him whole in an instance. He heard footsteps, and then the door opened.
There you were.
"Hey, Peter!" you said, smiling that effortless way that made his breath catch in his throat, stepping aside and gesturing for him to come in. "You're right on time, I just need a minute to grab my bag."
Peter managed a small smile and stepped in, wiping his sweaty palms against his jeans. "Yeah, of course. Take all the time you need."
You disappeared into another room, leaving Peter hanging awkwardly at your door, his eyes darting about. It was a very warm and inviting house, in harmony with the kind of person you were. The faint hum of a television in another room was muffled, someone talking, and he could hear that easily.
Your presence returned with your bag slung around your shoulder and you ignited the nerves again in Peter.
“So,” you said, smiling at him, “where to?”
Peter hesitated just a beat too long, his mind scrambling to come up with an answer. "Uh, I was thinking Italian? That okay with you?"
"Italian sounds great," you said easily as your smile widened.
Peter's heart raced as you stepped out the door, walking beside him toward the small restaurant a few blocks away. The night air was crisp, and for the first few minutes, he was too caught up in his own head to say much. But then you started talking, asking him about his day, about the project, and the sound of your voice eased some of his tension.
You made him feel like he belonged, even without having a word to say.
When the restaurant came in sight, Peter turned to you. Nerves still there but mixed with something else: a quiet and hopeful excitement.
Maybe just maybe, tonight will be the beginning of something real.
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The walk to the restaurant was such a nerve-racking experience. Each step Peter Parker took beside you felt like a step closer to something he wasn't ready (or was actually hoping for). His hands buried deep in his jacket pockets, fingers curling and uncurling, while trying to keep steady pacing alongside you.
But you appeared to be at full ease. You talked about the cool evening, how the trees' leaves were beginning to rustle with the cold wind blowing, and even the faint smell of roasting chestnuts from a street vendor a few blocks away. Peter heard everything, nodded, and punctuated things now and then with the occasional "Yeah" or "Totally," but as for his thoughts, they were running wild within him.
This is well. This is the standard. This is alright, He didn't over hypothesize for the hundredth time.
As much as there was relief in now having something solid to focus on, Peter was panicked that it all became real at that moment.
He opened the door for you, his hand trembling slightly as he held it.
"Thanks," you said, giving him a swift smile before stepping inside.
"Uh, yeah. Of course," Peter mumbled as he hung his head and followed you in.
The hostess took you to a corner besides the glass window, a cozy little spot with a flickering candle in the middle of the table. Peter's hands trembled as he took the chair and gestured you to sit on it.
The menu in front of him could be in another language as he stared dumbly at it, words bringing into a blur while the thoughts buzzing in his head were getting harder to put to rest.
Don't be weird. Just be normal. What does "normal" even mean? Stop overthinking! You've got this!
"This place is nice," you commented as you scanned the menu. "How did you discover it?"
"Oh, um, my aunt used to like it here," Peter said, grateful he could answer such a question. "She says the lasagna is the best."
You grinned. "Aunt May has good taste. I will try that."
He nodded, yes, but could not stop the rush of nervous thoughts flooding his mind. He glanced at the menu as if studying it although he already knew what he would order. But his mind was instead filled with every possible thing he could screw up tonight.
Don't talk too much; don't laugh strangely; don't look like an idiot.
Here came the waiter, and you ordered effortlessly, laced with a polite smile as you handed him the menu. Peter stammered out his order and felt his palms sweat as he gave it. When the waiter walked away, Peter could feel your eyes on him, and it took everything he had to meet your gaze.
"So," you said, leaning in with elbows planted on the table, chin cradled in palm, "what's your thing, Peter?"
"My thing?" he said, taken aback. "Like, my thing?"
"Yeah, like… what do you do for fun? What are you really into doing when absolutely no one else is watching and judging?"
Peter blinked, trying to think of something that wouldn't sound lame. "Uh, well, I like photography," he said. "And science, I guess. Experiments, stuff like that."
You perked up. "Photography? That is cool. What kind of pictures do you take?"
"Mostly city stuff," he said, his voice gaining a bit of confidence. "You know, like weird angles, shadows, reflections. It's probably not that interesting to most people."
"I think it sounds interesting," you said. "I would love to see your pictures sometime."
Peter's heart was pounding so hard. "Really? Uh, yeah, sure. I mean, if you want."
That made the conversation flow more easily. You told him about your love-hate relationship with math, how sometimes you spent too long procrastinating by watching cooking shows instead of doing your homework, and how one time you tried to make crème brûlée and almost burned your stove.
“I had to open every window in the house,” you said, laughing. “My mom came home and thought I’d burned dinner. I didn’t tell her it was supposed to be dessert.”
Peter grinned, feeling just a little bit more at ease. “Maybe stick to cookies next time, huh?”
“Noted,” you said with a mock-serious nod.
Then it was time to eat. You both started digging into it while still keeping up your conversation. Peter quickly found himself becoming much more relaxed, finding it absolutely easy to talk to you when he didn't over-analyze every word. You burst into laughter each time his jokes finished, and whenever his eye fell into yours, everything around faded.
There was little doubt that he was doing this because he was desperate enough to strike a topic that wouldn't make him sound like an idiot; this was the reason why he asked, "You, uh, good with the whole project?"
You leaned back, fiddled with the napkin on the table, and said, "Yeah, it's actually been fun. Well, I mean, we work well together, and you're much smarter than I had thought."
Peter blinked. "Wait, you thought I wasn't smart?"
"No, I just-" You smirk, it's clear you're enjoying his reaction. "You always seem kinda… busy with stuff, you know? You're not exactly the loudest guy in the room."
"Well, I, uh…" Peter rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm, uh, more of a behind-the-scenes guy. You know, less talk, more… action?"
You laughed, the sound light and easy, and Peter felt himself get a little more relaxed. Maybe you weren't judging him.
'This place have wine?' you ask all of a sudden, not looking up from the menu.
Peter blinked. "Uh… I think so?"
You smirked and put your feet up on the table after throwing the menu on it. "Perfect. I could use a glass."
Peter was at a loss on how he should respond. It just didn't seem like the kind of person who would order wine to go with dinner-at least, not in his limited and admittedly romanticized view of you. But when the waiter came by, you ordered an entire bottle without hesitating, barely glancing at Peter for confirmation.
"Um, yeah, sounds good," Peter said weakly, even though the thought of drinking anything stronger than soda made him nervous.
The waiter nodded and disappeared, leaving the two of you alone in an awkward silence.
But the waiter was back again, this time with a bottle and two glasses, which he laid down with a polite smile. And before you knew it, the deep red liquid was already swirling around in your glass because you had poured it in haste from the bottle.
Want some? You asked, already halfway through your first sip.
“Uh, maybe later,” Peter said.
You shrugged and took another long drink before putting the glass down with a satisfied sigh. “Suit yourself.”
The most casual kind of conversation developed between you: you asked Peter about what he was interested in, and he managed to stumble along throwing together great lengthy descriptions about why he loved photography and science, and the words came out too fast for him to think them. It almost seemed like you were listening to him, however, because he went on to nod before even asking follow-up questions, which made him for the first time in a long time feel that he wasn't entirely invisible.
By that time, he was becoming aware, as the hours slipped away, that you were filling up your glass more and more often. The bottle was now half empty when the food came, and you were already sporting rosy cheeks when the alcohol was pouring into your system.
“This is good,” you said, hardly bothering with your plate in order to gesture with your fork at it. "I mean, really good. Good call, Parker.”
The smile that appeared on Peter's face was that of nervousness. "Thanks. I'm glad you like it."
Now you leaned back in your seat, holding your glass up to the light. "You know, I don't really do stuff like this. I've kind of never had dinner with classmates. It's just a little… weird, you know?"
Peter sank a little. "Weird, how?"
"Not bad weird," you said immediately by waving your hand. "Just… different. Like, generally, I would just be at home watching some lousy reality show and trying to forget how much homework I have to do."
Peter chuckled, even though he had no idea what to say next.
After a sip of wine, the boy looked up at Peter who immediately landed his gaze upon the bottle. You seem well into your first glass with a heightening sense of ease that you appeared to be at his home. Maybe it was because of the wine or perhaps how you were looking at him right now-not with judging spectatorship but with a strange kind of understanding that made him feel as if he were not really out of place.
It was only a count of seconds before the food arrived while you already had a second glass in hand. Peter's stomach flipped at that moment. This wasn't the way he was used to seeing you, all loosened up and speaking without that slight guard he usually saw when you were around. You appeared different tonight, and Peter couldn't quite figure it out if it was a good thing or not.
However, the conversation was still going on, only that as soon as you took a few more drinks, conversations shifted to more profound, much more personal things. Laughter spilled from your lips more freely, although Peter saw that smiles were now somewhat uncontrollable. Maybe it was the wine; maybe it was just the ambience. In any case, he could feel something shifting, like you were letting him see this version of yourself you weren't sure he was supposed to see.
"Peter", you said, looking at him with wide eyes after a long sip. "What's your big dream? Like 20 years from now, what do you see yourself doing?"
He shifted around uneasily on his chair. And that question was sudden, a little more intense than he would have reckoned it to be. He was not used to being asked about his future like this.
"Honestly?" said Peter, leaning back a little and looking down at the half-finished plate in front of him. "I don't really know. I think- I think I want to do something with science, or photography. Maybe combine. Don't know really. Just like, I want to fix things, you know? Help make the world a little less broken.''
You were quiet for a moment, and Peter wasn't sure whether it was because he'd said something wrong or whether you were just thinking. But when you finally spoke, your voice was softer, almost quieter than before.
"I think that's really admirable, Peter."
That was it. That one simple sentence hit him harder than he expected. He wasn't used to compliments like that- not from you, not from anyone. The words were a strange dream, and for a second he just looked dumbfoundedly at you trying to really understand what you mean.
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Peter had never imagined the night to go this way. Not even in a million years. But here he was, walking alongside you, swaying slightly on the sidewalk with less steadiness in your step than before. Surprisingly, the wine had hit you faster than he figured, and he wasn't so sure if he should be concerned or just chalk it up to the kind of night it had turned into.
"Hey, I'm-" You hiccupped, laughing lightly at your own clumsiness. "I'm fine, Peter. Really."
But Peter wasn't so sure. His instincts were whipping him into overdrive-the same ones that always made him want to leap into action when something was amiss. "Yeah, I don't think you are," he said, trying to keep it light. "Let me just walk you home, okay? Just to make sure you're good."
But you rolled your eyes, with an almost sheepish smile you gave in, "Fine, fine. I get it. You're worried about me."
"Yeah, I am," Peter said, his voice a little quieter than he intended. "But you're my responsibility right now, okay?"
You exhale a small laugh, and Peter can't help but take note of how completely giddy it sounded, a little like you weren't quite sure where you were or what you were doing. You leaned against him, and then Peter was surprised at how easily you let him help you with that.
The way home was otherwise silent except for the occasional trip and the muttered apologies from you. But Peter didn't mind it, sensing closeness, although strange. Everything was just weird tonight. The brushing of your hand against his as you reached for your keys. That laugh of yours that wouldn't leave his ears. The vulnerability you seemed to wear in your eyes at that moment.
So, then you reached your door, and you suddenly stopped and stood there, fumbling with the keys in your hand. Peter moved closer but silently offered to help. You shook your head.
"I've got this," you said, though your words were slurring just enough for Peter to catch the uncertainty behind them.
After much effort on your part, the door finally opened. You leaned in again, and Peter nearly lost his heart as he had to rush forward to steady you.
"Whoa, take it easy," Peter said catching you as you stumbled. "Let me help you."
You smiled up at him, glassy and unfocused. "I'm fine, Peter," you slurred. "Just a little…tipsy."
Peter chuckled and guided you up the walkway to your front door. "Tipsy, huh? Well, let's get you inside and safe, then."
As you both reached the front door, you fumbled with your keys and Peter had to gently take them from your hand and unlock the door himself. You smiled up at him, your eyes sparkling with amusement.
After some time and a couple of tries, she got the door opened.
"Okay, inside," he said, his tone a little more powerful now. You did not resist him as he helped you through the door, but there was a strange sadness in your eyes that twisted Peter's stomach.
You moved slowly to the couch and finally sank down on it; the wine was exhausting. Peter stood near the door for a moment, wondering his next move. He wanted to shoot his shot, his thoughts wandered to somethings more inappropriate. Wasn't this all about getting you safe? Ensuring you did not end up passed out somewhere in a big, messy pile of sheets and regrets.
"Can you just… stay for a bit?" you asked quietly, with barely a whisper.
Peter hesitated. He didn't want to go too far, and he couldn't just leave you here, not looking so…fragile.
"Yes," he spoke softly, entering then into the living room. "I'll stay for a bit"
You nodded at him, gazing at him with tired eyes. "Thank you."
Peter perched on the edge of the couch; his hands awkwardly balanced on his knees. What a strange space there was between you two now, strange in that it was so very close, yet so far away. He wanted to be of some use and ensure you were okay, and yet the way the glance kept coming from you in that direction somehow felt… off. It was like walking on a fine line.
Peter looked at you longingly, you were so beautiful.
Too close and too perfect, he found himself sitting next to you, and Peter felt the pressure of so many things left uncommunicated fill his chest. He needed to do it. He needed to say it.
"Peter?" Your voice was a soft whisper, a little uncertain. Wine had aided this whole relaxing process, yet made almost everything feel slightly out of focus.
Peter swallowed, heart pounding in the chest. He wasn't entirely sure if it was the alcohol that has found narrate in your system, or if it was the raw honesty of the moment, but he knew very well it was now or never, the one chance to say all he had kept bottled up for months.
"Yeah?" he whispered, getting closer so that he was almost against you now.
"It's just that, I… I'm sorry if I've been too much tonight," you said, your words slightly slurring as you allowed your gaze to drift over his face. "I didn't mean to get that drunk."
Peter felt his breath hitch in his throat. "It's fine," he said, his voice softer now. He could feel his palms sweating, his heart racing faster than ever. "I just… I just want to make sure you're okay."
You smiled up at him, but it was a little foggy, and Peter could tell that the wine had dulled your clarity. Still, you were so beautiful, standing there, looking at him with those eyes—eyes that made him feel like he mattered.
Peter took a sharp breath and let a sudden breath of air come out. It was as if a magnet was pulling them together, and he was drawn to it. "So, uh– I was thinking…" He hesitated for a moment, then recovered his composure, trying to calm the trembling in his hands. "I've been thinking about you for a long time. Like, longer than I should have."
His brows knitted further in confusion as Peter quickly realized that the rest of the sentence was failing miserably in getting through your mind, as if the actual words were swimming around in it, suspended in fog. He stepped closer, unable to stop himself.
"If I—" He let out a shaky breath. "You know, I've been loving you for so long now. And tonight, I couldn't hold it anymore and just… broke the dam."
Your expression shifted slightly. Confusion clouded your gaze. You blinked, trying to piece together his words. "Wait, what?"
Peter took a step closer, completely incapable of holding himself back. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, and he felt the heat between you intensify. He reached out, his hand brushing gently against your arm. "I love you," he whispered again, barely able to breathe. "I love you so much, and I've been too scared to say it. I've watched you for so long, and I—" Peter stopped mid-sentence as he looked at you, eyes looking like a lost puppy.
"You're so beautiful, so so beautiful" He leaned in, your face was so close to him, his lips brushed against yours. He held your face as he licked your lips.
You could feel the warmth of his breath on your skin with just the proximity of Peter's face to yours, and the goosebumps it sent down your spine. Those eyes were filled deeply with a longing expression and captured yours as if drowning you in its depths. There was air that quite vibrated between the two of you, and the heat that seemed to take form could even be felt emanating from his body.
"I wanted to do that for so long," Peter whispered. His voice shuddered with desire. Gentle words falling like a caress to send shivers through you: "Wanted to touch you, hold you, kiss."
His lips brushed against yours when he spoke, making your body spark with electricity. You were pretty much melting into him, as if his very desire were consuming your human body. His lips, soft and gentle, just as firm and insistent. You tasted like wine.
"You're so beautiful" he said as his hands went underneath your dress, his hands inching close to your under garments. He touched your clothed core; he used his index finger to rub your clothed cover clit
You squirmed in his touch, "P-peter" You mewled in his mouth
This just seemed to fuel Peter even more, as he set aside your panties as his smooth fingers rubbed your now exposed core. Peter looked at you, he slowly kneeled as he spread your legs.
He looked at your wet core, as if it was a painting that he couldn't understand. Without warning he then sucked your glistening pearl; his tongue probed the inside of your gummy walls as his fingers rubbed your pearl. You cried out, your body arching up to meet him, and Peter felt a surge of excitement. He was in control now, and you were at his mercy.
He knew it was wrong, you were drunk after all, but he couldn't help it, this was his only chance.
He licked and sucked at your clit, his fingers plunging in and out of your dripping wet pussy, you cried out in ecstasy, your hands tugging at Peter's hair. But he didn't care, all he cared about was your dripping we cunt.
Anticipation dwells in the coiling mouth against your body, sending shivers along your spine. Every inch of you is lulled into stimulation by his gentle probing, drawing near to a soon-to-be-hidden insistent demand. You can feel that hot air glazing across your skin, soft scraping with teeth, and relentless pressure from his lips, all of which accompanies his tongue.
Your hands are clenched while he works, fingers digging into the sheets or perhaps his hair, holding him there. Your hips jerk primitively, as though to push him deeper and encourage more pressure, while your breathing makes raspy sounds mixed with soft mewls of pleasure.
One hand is busy at your hips, molding you solidly into place, while the other slips only up over the curve of your waist before settling over your breast.
You feel yourself immersing in the sensation as your focus is honed into one. The only critical thing is the feeling of his mouth on you. The whole room begins to fade away, and you're left with only the slushing wet sounds he makes and your breathless gasps, groans, and cries.
Peter on the other hand felt like he was in cloud nine, his mouth was now fully covered in your arousal, but he didn't care. He continued lapping at your cunt, accompanied with his middle finger thrusting in and out of you.
As the intensity rises, so do your frantic movements: the hips jerk and thrust as though reaching toward some ill-defined height. His mouth is a scythe-like blur of tongue lashing and probing until the pressure builds and you're all quivering trembling muscles, precariously balanced on a knife edge of release.
Your mouth is wide open, frozen in a silent scream on your lips, and your entire body starts quivering at the moment of release.
Then silence engulfs the outside world; its only inhabitants are trapped in a silent world of raw lust. His mouth is a furnace, raging, and threatening to engulf you completely, but you lean into the flames, thirsty for the intense heat that only he can provide. Your skin is slick with sweat, your heart thundering like a runaway train as your body builds toward the inevitable climax.
Your cries intensify as tension rises, a mournful cry into this frantic air, a scream savage, echoing off the walls as your body strains towards that release. Your muscles quivering.
Before you knew it, it almost hit you like rough wave of pleasure.
His cock twitched, his balls tightening with anticipation, as he felt the warmth of her your release in his mouth. That alone could make him cum his pants. He had never been this close to a woman before, and the thought of exploring your body was almost too much to bear. And here he was doing exactly just that.
You were beautiful to Peter, but you looked ungodly when you were in a state of release. The way your chest would heave up and down, how your mascara was running down your eyes, and your lipstick smudged on the side of your face.
"You're so beautiful" he said, barely even above a whisper.
"P-peter— OH MY GOD!"
He suddenly took a long slow stripe of your pussy, as if savoring everything, but then stopped when his tongue reached your clit. He sucked on your little pearl as if it was lollipop.
You moaned loudly as your back arched and your toes curled, "P-peter" You whimpered
The way he was sucking on your clit, along with his fingers that was thrusting deep inside you. It made it nearly unbearable. The last few moments or so almost sent you spiraling into one of those severe orgasms that made you see stars on your ceiling.
Loud moans slipped from your mouth, you wondered if your parents were at home, what if they see their sweet girl falling apart underneath the so-called weird kid of your school.
Your hips bucked against his mouth, trying to ease the bittersweet pleasure he was giving you. "P-peter, oh god, stop, I c-can't take it anymore" you begged in a voice very nearly a whisper. Body trembling, your hands reached instinctively for his hair, holding him.
He continued his performance on your clit. A familiar knot kept building inside you. Suddenly, the moans turned into loud gasps, and your body began to shake uncontrollably. P-peter, I…I think I'm going to come again" you finally whisper. To that, he only sucked harder, licked harder, his fingers falling on a rhythm with his tongue swirling relentlessly on your sensitive spot, bringing you to sweet agony. Your back arched up, you gasp while screaming, "P-PETER!"
Heaving and shaking with each pulsing moan, you lay there with your body's hypersensitivity after such intense pleasure receding. Finally, Peter raised his head. That satisfied smile on his face was testimony to your ability to elicit such feelings from him. And with his eyes, he stared at you, every flicker of lust speaking volumes about what was crossing his mind. Then he kissed near the center of time in your inner thigh, his lips dragging softly, and then moving to lie with you at the side of the couch
Peter's smile slowly faded as he noticed your catch of breath, replaced with a show of real concern. He stroked your hair as he gazed into your eyes. "That was intense," Peter said. "You're shaking." His voice was tender, wrapping around you like a soft blanket. "Time to get you to bed, all right?"
He managed a slowly rise from the couch while extending his hand forward towards you. You grasped onto it and found your balance shaky; nonetheless, Peter assisted you toward leaving the living room, down the hallway, and into your bedroom.
Peter opened your door slowly, revealing the bedroom from that night. Snap out of your thoughts Parker!
The bedside lamp cast a warm glow over the room. Peter placed you carefully at the edge of the bed. He knelt down to remove your shoes and started undressing you slowly and carefully. He threw the covers over you as you laid back in bed, tucking you in like a young child.
"Rest," he whispered as he brushed his lips against your forehead. "Sleep, I'll be here when you wake." He sat beside you, stroking your hair with his hand. Your eyelids began to feel heavier, and weariness, along with all the forms of pleasure, finally overtook you. Peter was the last person you remember as you slipped into slumber, where upon you felt the warmth beside you that offered the source of a much-needed sense of safety.
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@gloomskulls 2024, DON'T COPY, TRANSLATE OR USE OF MY WORKS IN ANY OTHER WEBSITE. Photos don't belong to me
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lonestardust · 2 days ago
Note
re your tags on the names of Marjan's family. So Marjan's name is not a Lebanese name?
Also I'm curious to your takes on her getting engaged/introducing Joe to her parents 👀
nope. and neither is Marwani actually. Marjan is persian Iranian and Marwani (and it's actually often Almarwani) is Algerian and Saudi Arabian.
i'm curious actually but there aren't certain positive expectations I'm waiting for here with this storyline. the inaccuracy of the name thing alone was something i immediately rolled my eyes at lol. I mean lucky the pilot was so good in every way I was hooked from the jump because otherwise if i had to think twice about Marjan's disastrous praying I'd have been turned off.
It's clear that Natacha did not get the assistance she needed to give Marjan what she needs. not as simple as guiding her on how to properly pray. But are we surprised that the american TV's portrayal of Arabs falls short in many ways due to lack of cultural competence in writers' rooms/ lack of research and guidance from diaspora Arab Muslim creatives? I mean their first thought about Marjan was like hmm how can we introduce this veiled woman in a storyline that portrays her well without trying to objectify her? oh let's take that veil off and see her hair! I don't hate this storyline but it just doesn't fully sit right with me either. especially as an intro.
so I don't know how they're going to go about this whole thing with Joe but I for one really hated the arranged marriage storyline. Yes it's so normal here for family & friends to try to set up adults. but i just can't stand watching the portrayal of I've-been-engaged-since-I-was-12 and playing it into "love is something you grow into" as a commonplace in muslim Arab culture and not something so questionable and rather a fucked up constraint on people (that has been fought against for decades). not even considering the class, ethnic and national difference that plays into it, given how underage arranged marriage or forced marriage is an actual piled up generational struggle rooted in gender inequality and exacerbated by colonial violence and wars. being cut off from the access to education, the creation of extreme poverty that makes families (especially displaced ones) struggle to provide for their kids and fear for their safety and future and so some come to the conclusion that marriage somehow could protect their kids from harm while providing them with a level of financial stability or facilitating moving in and out of besieged areas/cities and crossing boards etc.
And so it's clear that no one of Marjan's class/background in diaspora or back home would consider this to be the norm. so it's weird to me that this was welcomed normally. The writers just took a bunch of stereotypes about Muslims at large with no regard to national/ethnic or class background differences and turned them on their head.
another inconsistency is the chaperone/Mehrem (family member) thing. because first, actually once you're in public you don't need that during a date. second, someone like Marjan with her lifestyle, background, worldview/character and being a diaspora lebanese muslim in her 20s, would not follow an old Mehrem fatwa (the Islamic laws that change according time, place, people, and other prevailing conditions) unless she actually wants that out of having company.
I just don't think the writers engage with Marjan's background in a consistent realistic or authentic way. I didn't really see anything especially Lebanese about Marjan. beside what the mention of cuisines?
anyway i hate the idea of 'representation' in American media either way. It feels like an oxymoron. and the idea of seeing representation as an ultimate goal is even more dangerous. I find it counterproductive more often than not. this is an industry that perpetuates and financially aid violence and defamation narratives against said people that they pat themselves on the back for including and so it's naive to consider that they'll ever get it right. they tiptoe around certain people and tokenize them more than anything. Literally for every one good bare minimum representation there are dozens of American entertainment-military complex propaganda movies/tv shows/video games doing the exact opposite and taking it to extremes. I just always end up asking myself 'how is this exactly helpful? Yes it's entertaining i love watching it, i love this show but the things that plays into the bigger picture are still parts of the objective reality, what should I do about it?'
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godmadeaterribleerror · 2 days ago
Text
More Than You Could Ever Know - Part 2
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Series Masterlist
Author's Note: Big bonus chapter for fans of Ben being obsessed with Her.
Title from All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
Word Count: 9.2k
Chapter Summary/Warnings: Ben and Ryan go shopping, and you all try to find a tree. Usual Warnings.
Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, tooth rotting fluff, established relationship, Christmas Special
Part 1 - Part 3
Read on A03!
Ben wasn’t sure when stores got so fucking big. He’d seen big box stores before—despite what She insisted, he wasn’t a fucking dinosaur—but this was downright insane. It was a goddamn warehouse, and a poorly designed, maze-like one at that. There was no fucking logic to any of this shit, because Ben took a turn from what seemed to be an electronics isle and ended up surrounded by fucking cheese. It didn’t help that it was only him and Ryan, and they both needed Her for this modern navigation shit. But She was off doing her stupid surprise—Ben had tried to call it a secret again and She’d stuck Her tongue out and flipped him off—so they had to figure this shit out alone, together.
It wasn’t going that well.
“What the fuck are these.” Ben grunted, his eyes narrowed on the shelf in-front of them, filled with weird looking, round stuffed animals. And a mango. And one brown thing that seemed to be staring into his goddamn soul.
Ryan—standing at Ben’s elbows and tapping his fingers on the half-full cart—shrugged nervously. “I think they’re called Squishmallows?”
“Stupid fucking name. What’s that,” Ben gestured to the brown one. “Even supposed to be-“
“Pancakes.” Ryan mumbled. “I think?”
“Huh.” Ben glowered at the plushie, and realized Ryan had nailed it. Stuffed pancakes. She’d like stuffed pancakes. “Good work, kid.”
Ben grabbed the pancakes, tossed them into the cart, and tried not to drown in the hot, bright pride bursting in his chest at Ryan’s grin as he started to push the cart once more.
“Wait.” Ben halted Ryan with a hand on his shoulder, and pointed back to the shelf. “You want one?”
Ryan turned a little red, his voice a soft fucking whisper as his heart stumbled in his chest. “Yes, please.”
“Grab it and we’ll get moving.”
Ryan nodded, choosing one of the weird animals—Ben would figure out exactly what the fuck it was later, but his best bet right now was a cat—and they moved on through the store.
“We got your pants.” Ben scanned around the store, half his attention on what they were supposed to be doing and half on making sure no fucking pussies started filming them. “And the shit for dinner.”
“And Butcher’s shirt,” Ryan added, and when Ben glanced down at him, he was frowning at the cart. “Do you think he’ll like it? He has shirts.”
Ben shrugged. “Everyone has fucking shirts, Ryan. Butcher will just be damn grateful you got him something.”
Ryan hummed, sounding slightly unconvinced, his bod still tensed, so Ben kept talking. 
“And the asshole is fucking impossible to buy for. Trust me, kid, the shirt was a good idea. Butcher will like it.”
“Did you,” Ryan looked up at Ben with widened eyes. “Did you buy him something?”
“Have to. Got him for Secret Santa. And, fuck, don’t tell,” Ben muttered Her name. “I told you that shit. Supposed to be a fucking secret.”
“I won’t.” Ryan shrugged. “I mean, you’ll probably tell her, right?”
Ben snorted, because he would tell Her. The first damn thing he’d do when She got home was pull her into a long kiss and grumble against her lips that he’d told Ryan. And She’d hit his chest and give him a flat glare, teasing him about really not understanding the secret part of Secret Santa, and that would be it. 
And Ryan fucking knew that. He knew that She and Ben didn’t lie to each other, and that when she hit Ben it was never painful or angry, and when Ben rolled his eyes at Her it was because she was a pretty fucking brat with a smart mouth, and he wouldn’t have her any other damn way. Ryan knew they’d never hurt or be really mad at each other, and he was finally starting to fucking get that they’d never hurt or be mad at him. 
It was why, when Ben shook his head and kept walking—never going faster than Ryan could keep up with—the kid’s heart stayed even, and his face remained relaxed. Relaxed for Ryan, so still a little fucking small and nervous, but without panic or fear. And that was as much as Ben could ask for, because he wouldn’t have Ryan any other way either.
“What else do we need.” Ben asked, keeping his vigilant watch on the store around them as Ryan responded.
“Um, I need scrabble for Kimiko?” Ryan mumbled Her name, and Ben’s whole fucking body roared with love from the goddamn sound of it. “Needs something too- as well.” Ryan corrected himself, and Ben chuckled at his puffed-out chest and toothy smile.
“Good work, kid.” He muttered, patting Ryan on the back. “Got ideas?”
“For-“
Ben said Her name, and She glowed a little around his skull. He really fucking missed Her, and if he couldn’t sense that she was a least half-way across the damn city he’d go find Her. Keep his gaze away from Her stupid fucking surprise, but also keep Her by his side. Make Her help him and Ryan with this shit, because She’d know what to do. She always fucking knew what to do.
He’d missed Ryan’s answer. Ben had gotten so lost in the instinct of Her, alight in his body, that he hadn’t heard what the hell Ryan was trying to get her.
“What.”
“Butterfly bush.” Ryan mumbled, staring sheepishly at the cart. “I read about them in my science class? They’re plants that attract butterflies, and you said she likes butterflies? I dunno-“
“Ryan.” Ben snapped, making his voice stern. He didn’t know how to do that soft, sweet shit She did, but Ryan seemed to understand his own, harsher words just as well. Understand that Ben wasn’t fucking mad, just firm in what he said. “That’s a good fucking idea. They sell them here?”
Ryan nodded slowly, his heart slowing to an easy rhythm. “I think so?”
“Well,” Ben shrugged, looking around for some sort of sign that said Perfect fucking gift for amazing wife. “Let go find it.”
It took half a fucking hour, but they found the butterfly bush. Stashed in the back of the goddamn store, real damn pretty and all fucking pink and green. She’d fucking love it. Ben grunted that to Ryan, that this was a damn good gift, and the kid looked like he might explode with joy and pride. Christ, Ben might explode with joy and pride. They’d managed to get everything She’d asked them to—gifts, clothing, food—plus some extra shit like the pancakes, nobody had died, and he and Ryan were doing an amazing fucking job knowing Her. Ben had all his gifts for Her lined up, and they were fucking excellent, but the butterfly bush was a stroke of goddamn genius. Ben wasn’t sure where the hell Ryan got his brains from, because Ben wasn’t an idiot, but he wasn’t that fucking smart, and Homelander had been a goddamn pussy dumbass. Maybe the kid’s mom, Butcher’s dead wife, but a smart lady shouldn’t have married fucking Butcher.
She’d say people might argue that She shouldn’t be married to Ben, but that she also loved him and adored him, and didn’t really fucking care what random fucking pussies thought about them. That maybe Ryan’s mom had seen something better in Butcher, just like She saw something better in Ben. 
But that was why Ben was almost certain Ryan had to, somehow, against all fucking odds, be related to Her by blood. The kid was too generous like that, too kind like that, too fucking smart to be anything else. Ben could fucking see Her on Ryan’s face as they wandered through the store for Kimiko’s scrabble. See Her in the wide awe at all the stupid shit on the shelves, in the real, raw fucking happiness when they found what they were looking for. 
See Her in the slight, hopeful gape on Ryan’s face as the kid halted in front of a terrarium, tracking the turtle inside with bright eyes.
Fuck, Ben could hear Her in Ryan’s voice. Hear that soft, gentle nervousness She had when she asked Ben for something. The tone Ben could make himself say no to if he tried.
Shit.
“Can we get it?” Ryan whispered, pointing to the turtle, swimming real goddamn slow around its tank. “Please?”
Ben scowled. That thing was real goddamn small—easily crushable if he and Ryan weren’t careful—and alive. It was fucking alive. It would need to be fed and cared for, and fuck Ben if he was going to do that-
“I’ll take care of it.” Ryan added, and Ben realized the kid had turned to look at him. Look at him with fucking puppy eyes. “I promise. It’ll stay in my room, and I’ll feed it and watch it and clean its tank-“
“Ryan.” Ben grunted. “Why the fuck do you want a turtle-“
“I like them.” Ryan glanced back to the tank. “They’re really peaceful. And, um, I just think they’re cool. I’ve always wanted one.”
Ben raised his brows. “Always.”
Ryan nodded. “I, um, I couldn’t get one. Mom said it was because I was too young, but I think it was because of, of the thing-“
“Fine,” Ben grunted, glaring at the turtle. He’d been going to give in anyway, might as well do it before the kid got all fucking sad in the middle of the store. Where random fucking asscucks could film it and put it online. Ryan could cry in the car, or when they were home, or when Ben was allowed to break phones and faces when people tried to exploit his son’s pain. Not when it could be avoided by buying a stupid fucking turtle. “But,” he said Her name, already reaching down the connection. “Has to approve this shit first. Deal?”
Ryan nodded eagerly, and Ben called Her name between their heads.
Benjamin. Is everything-
We’re fine. Ben glowered at the turtle, his voice a little lower than he’d like. Can we get Ryan a turtle.
There was a moment of silence before She responded, long enough for Ben to wonder if she somehow hadn’t heard him. What.
Ryan wants-
I heard you, Ben. But it’s December in Pennsylvania, where the fuck did you find a turtle for Ryan to want it.
Ben smirked into the air. Costco. This place is a fucking marvel, Sunshine, I got burger meat and pants-
I know how Costco works, my love. Why are you looking at turtles.
Ryan wants it.
She sighed in Ben’s head. I got that. He knows turtles can live for, like, twenty years, right?
Ben frowned. “Ryan, how long do turtles live.”
“Some can live for fifty years! And they’re so small, isn’t that cool?!” 
Ben grunted, reaching back to Her. He knows. And he promised to take care of it.
Where does he want to keep it-
His room.
There was a beat of silence, and Ben knew She was considering it. He could practically fucking feel Her brain thinking.
I’m worried he’ll crush it, Ben. She mumbled in Ben’s head. He’s so much better at controlling his strength now, but if something happens on accident, he won’t forgive himself. 
I know. But I’ll make sure that shit doesn’t happen. Ben watched Ryan carefully as he muttered to Her in the silence. I’ll carry it home, and Ryan and I can do some grip exercises to practice. He really fucking wants it, Sunshine. 
She let out a long, slow breath in the sounds of the store around them. Okay. He can have one. But it’s your ass if something happens to it, Benjamin.
Ben grunted an agreement, rolling his eyes at the air, but he knew She could feel his affection, warm and stupidly fucking gooey in his body. Feel the radiance over his ribs when he nodded an affirmation at Ryan, and the kid grinned so widely it made something in Ben’s chest goddamn explode with pride.
“Thank you!” Ryan bounced slightly on his toes, grabbing Ben into a tight hug. “I’ll take good care of it, I promise. Thank you-“
“You’re welcome, kid.” Ben grunted, because She’d punch him if he just dismissed Ryan’s thanks. “Let’s grab it and get home.”
Ryan didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the goddamn week. She didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the week. She got home from Her secret, kissed Ben with a bright, happy hum Ben could feel everywhere around him, and let Ryan drag Her upstairs to look at the turtle. 
“Oh, wow.” She titled Her head at it, crouching next to the tank with Ryan watching Her nervously. “That’s adorable, Ry. Have you named it?”
“Um, maybe? I’m not sure it’s a good name-“
“What is it?”
Ben could hear Ryan’s heart stutter nervously. “Bowser?”
She laughed. An amused, perfect, easy laugh with a pretty smile and nod that made Ryan’s heart ease, and Ben’s entire existence so fucking good. 
“I like it.” She nudged Ryan’s shoulder with her’s, still watching the turtle. “It looks like a Bowser. And if we get a cat we can name it Koopa.”
Ben glared at Her. “We are not getting a fucking cat, Sunshine.”
“Fine,” She smiled at him, pretty eyes sharp and amused on his, full of love Ben could feel in the whole goddamn world. “A dog.”
He rolled his eyes, Her smile only grew, and Ben couldn’t find it in himself to be really, truly pissed. She was too fucking perfect for that. Everything was too fucking perfect for that lately. Because the next week passed in a blur, and it was almost all perfect, happy shit like this. It was kissing Her and helping Ryan wrap his gifts, eating dinner with his goddamn family every night, talking to them and watching tv with them and laughing with them.
Even work wasn’t entirely fucking dogshit. Kimiko and Frenchie were just a weird as before, but Ben was used it by now, and he’d even started to pick up some of that sign language shit. Enough to understand what gestures were names and when Kimiko was asking him a basic question about Her or Ryan. How they were doing—really fucking good—and if She would be picking Ben up from work. On office days She usually did, and they were always there for an extra damn hour as She and Kimiko got caught in a conversation, Ben and Frenchie standing awkwardly off to the side.
But Ben had adapted to that as well. Learned how to talk to Frenchie more, enough to ask him for a favor. A favor for Her that Frenchie had said yes to without hesitation, and they’d been working on for about two weeks now. 
And everything was really damn good.
If every rogue supe in the country didn’t take a fucking break until New Years, Ben was going to start killing people again. 
His whole damn day had been spent in the car. Four hours to New York and back, half the time it had taken to do the actual fucking mission. And the only reason they weren’t in and out of that in twenty minutes was because the bitch had decided to run, and she didn’t have a no-murder rule. And Ben was fucking busy. They had to get their tree today, Ryan had to be picked up from school, and Ben had to talk to Her about what the fuck they were going to do about Butcher’s gift.
He wished She was here. She’d have backed the Ice Lady—or Queen or Countess or Duchess, Ben couldn’t be fucked to remember—into a corner in ten damn minutes, and they wouldn’t have had to use Frenchie’s dogshit flamethrower to sedate the bitch and get her into the van. She wouldn’t have sneered and mocked the SFBI agents when they turned the Ice Lady in, or spilled coffee on their evidence for arrest, dragging out the process another forty minutes. She wouldn’t have missed the exit off the goddamn highway.
Actually, if Ben was being honest about the woman he loved, She probably would have missed the exit. She was amazing at fucking everything, but not driving. 
But She was also fucking fast. Ben would’ve been home a damn hour ago if She had gone with them. 
He wouldn’t have been ten minutes late to pick up Ryan either.
He hadn’t stop to change when Butcher dropped him back home. He’d grabbed the keys and fucking booked it to the school. Ryan would be okay by himself until Ben got there—and Ben would explain, because the kid wasn’t allowed to think She and Ben would ever fucking forget about him—and She hadn’t reached down the connection to ask why the hell Ben was late, so everything was fucking fine. Butcher and his reminders about getting the Ice Lady paperwork in before Friday could shove it, because anyone could fill out a damn form, and Ben might have been the one who actually caught Ice Lady, but Kimiko had been right goddamn next to him. If it was that fucking critical, she could do it. Ryan was more important. 
He didn’t bother to lock the car when he parked it. The time it took to get Ryan wasn’t long enough to hot-wire, and if anyone tried to steal Ben’s property, he’d throw them onto the roof. And Ben’s property was a frost-bitten jacket and gun. Only a dumb fucking pussy would try and jack a car that had a gun.
Picking Ryan up from school was always a fucking trial. It was a nice school—She’d found it, working her perfect fucking ass off to make sure they treated Ryan like any other damn kid—and most of the kids weren’t entirely little shits, but Ben was one more goddamn incident from punching a parent. There were dumb ones, who seemed to think Ryan was some sort of fucking threat to their children, and the fucking pussies who’d been brainwashed by Vought and Homelander, who didn’t like Her. The school had received a petition to ban Her from school events, because She was a murderer and felon—She’d been fucking pardoned, and everyone She’d murdered goddamn deserved it—and She’d spent a handful of days quiet and hollow. Only eating when Ben put food in front of Her and told her to, only moving mechanically—her every gesture and breath over-controlled—and only sleeping when Ben held Her and ran his hands through her hair, muttering soothing words.
“You’re not a murder,” Ben had said Her name, kissing her brow as She clung to his chest and his whole fucking body felt ill. “You’re a good fucking person. Better than any of those pussies-“
“They’ve never,” She’d taken a long, slow breath, and curled her smoking hands in his shirt. “They’ve never killed anyone. Good people aren’t murders-“
“Good is respective.” He’d tugged lightly on Her hair, just enough for Her to look up at him. Pretty, sharp eyes that were glossy and heavy, that made something in Ben’s chest fucking contort and ache. “They’ve never had to kill Homelander, or Sage, or fight their fucking asses off to keep the damn world spinning. You did, and you didn’t ever fucking break.” He’d dropped his brow to Her’s, holding Her soft, tragic gaze. “You’re fucking perfect, and they’re just sad, weak fucking idiots.”
She’d nodded, letting out a strangled, slightly pleading sob, and Ben had understood. He’d just had to stay there, and hold Her until this passed. It always fucking passed, and Ben always stayed by Her side until it did. Until Her body went loose in his arms, and her hands drifted up to hold his face as she offered him a soft—but really fucking real—smile. 
“Subjective.” She’d whispered, playing with the hair of his beard. “Good is subjective.” Ben had rolled his eyes, and Her smile had grown. “Smartass.”
She’d hummed, guiding Ben’s lips down to her’s, kissing him until Her heart was at an even pace again, and Ben could breathe again. 
I’m your smartass, Pretty Boy.
Damn right you’re mine, he’d pulled Her lower lip between his teeth, smirking at Her breathy moan. I fucking love you, brat.
I love you too. She’d wrapped her arms around his neck, and Ben rolled them over, keeping Her safe and warm and happy under his body.
He’d kissed Her into the mattress until there weren’t any ghosts of horror over her beautiful features, until that presence of Her felt like a halo over his head. 
Am I allowed to kill them. He’d said between their heads when they’d separated, his weight dropped carefully over her body as She played with his hair and he rubbed circles on her skin. Just fucking one, Sunshine. Let me kill one.
Maybe one.
Her answer had been quick, and Ben had looked up at Her with a surprised grin. You’ve got a fucking name?
I didn’t say that-
Is it Pigtail’s dad-
No-
Puppy Pack’s mom-
Ben-
Glitter Glasses-
Benjamin. She’d whacked his chest, giving him a stern glare that didn’t even make him flinch, because that was Her glare when she wasn’t really mad at Ben, but was just being a too kind, too perfect miracle of a woman. Learn the children’s names.
He’d given Her a flat look. I’ll learn their dumbfuck names when they stop acting like Ryan’s got the fucking plague. Who is it.
You’re not allowed to say anything. Or kill anyone.
Ben had nodded, watching Her carefully as she took in a long breath, burying Her face as she answered.
You know the girl who always wears the leopard-print boots-
Yeah. Cat Boots.
Georgia, Ben. Her name is Georgia.
I don’t give a fuck what her name is. He’d frowned, scanning over her pretty, nervous pout. It’s her mom. Fake Face.
She’d flushed slightly. Maybe.
In the moment, Ben had just grunted, flipped them over, and fucked up into Her until she unraveled with bright eyes and needy moans above him. He’d praised Her and kissed Her until she was only happy, then made Her dinner and grumbled from across the table that, if She wanted, he would kill Fake Face. 
She’d dismissed him, because she was too fucking good and knew that Ben would carve himself open and crush his body under a million scalpels and boxes of gas before he left Her. 
Fake Face should count herself lucky that She was so kind and forgiving and perfect, and even more fucking lucky that Ben loved his wife more than goddamn anything. That Ben wasn’t going to kill anyone, because She’d be sad about it.
But Ben still really fucking wanted to kill Fake Face. She was a fucking annoyance, looked at Ben like he was some sort of slab of meant, and looked at Her like she was the scum of the goddamn earth, when this lady couldn’t hold a candle to Her. It was like comparing a burnt-out matchstick to the fucking sun, and Ben didn’t understand how anyone—even a jealous, dick-riding plastic bitch—could look at Her and not feel like they were seeing something holy.
Fake Face had introduced herself to Her and Ben the first time they’d picked up Ryan. There had been quick handshakes, sickly sweet words from Fake Face, and grunts from Ben as he’d pretended to listen, mostly frowning down at Her. She’d been clinging to Ben’s arm as Fake Face asked him if he was really as strong as the stories said, and She’d felt heavy and sick in Ben’s body.
What’s wrong. He’d muttered down the connection, and She’d shaken her head slightly. 
She hates me.
Ben had frowned at Fake Face, who was getting dangerously fucking close to touching him. Why the fuck would she hate you.
I don’t know. But touching her, it- She’d swallowed, nails digging into Ben’s arm. It felt someone was pressing a gun right against my brain. And my hands were itchy, and my skin felt wrong, and it was bad, Ben. I didn’t like it.
That had been enough for him. Ben had been happy to hate Fake Face just from how the bitch made his perfect, infinitely amused and kind wife look like She’d been kicked in the stomach. Then there had been more pickups. Pickups where it was just Her, or just Ben, and Fake Face seemed to have two separate personalities. With Her, she was crude and cold, and they’d figured out fast that the lady was, at least, a Vought supporter. Likely a Homelander supporter as well. And Ben had been ready to snap some fucking spines when the flirting had started. Unwelcome praise about how Ben was such a good man, for being there for Ryan—he’d defiantly tried to kill Ryan, only two years ago, but Fake Face seemed to forget about that part—and calling him Soldier Boy before correcting herself to Ben with fake giggle that hurt Ben’s ears, and the questions about how a man like him got mixed up in this whole mess.
It seemed like a pretty fucking simple answer. Ben had fucked up, and he’d repented, and now he was here. Still repenting, still with Ryan, always with Her.
Then Fake Face had called him Benjamin, and—after nearly breaking his jaw and her face—Ben had started being incredibly fucking careful with the timing of how he picked up Ryan, just to avoid this pest of a woman and her skin-crawling advances on him. He knew She did the same thing, and that enough made Ben’s blood feel fucking heated and wired.
He knew his reputation. He knew that he was a sex symbol, that he’d been the fuel of wet dreams for a damn near century. He also knew that, if he could, he’d rip all those fucking fantasies out of people’s minds on principle alone. Ben was fucking Her’s, and you couldn’t pay him with all the gold in the world to look anywhere but Her. It would be pointless anyway, because Ben couldn’t look away from Her if he fucking tried. She was everything beautiful in the universe, and then more. She was a force of goddamn nature, and alive in Ben’s body, and if his eyes were gauged out and his nose was cut off he’d still feel how fucking beautiful she was in a deep, critical part of his body near his heart.
Ben needed to figure out a way to shut Fake Face up for the rest of her fucking life. He wasn’t allowed to kill her, and they were still being careful around the school, so he couldn’t call her a plastic, disrespectful fucking bitch, and those were all his ideas.
He’d ask Her later. She’d have a way that didn’t end in having to explain to Neuman why they’d had to send a cleanup team to a high school. 
Right now Ben just needed to stand—rigid and taut—as Fake Face walked up to him with a well-crafted, sickening smile and he waited for Ryan to get the fuck back to the pickup spot. 
“Ben!” Fake Face chirped, bouncing to stand right fucking in front of Ben’s path. “I haven’t seen you at pickup all week-“
“My wife,” Ben grunted Her name, because he was going to say it at every damn possible opportunity. “She’s been doing it.”’
“Hm, well, I haven’t seen her-“
Well, She fucking hates you. “She’s fast. Busy.”
Fake Face hummed, tapping a finger to her chin in mock thought. “Ah, I understand. I’m a career woman as well, but my Georgia is always my top priority-“
Ben wasn’t allowed to kill the bitch. His fists were clenched and the glow in his chest would just have to be slightly released to disintegrate Fake Face, but Ben wasn’t allowed to kill her. “Ryan is our top priority.” Ben grunted. “She just doesn’t have time to fucking gossip.”
“I see. Does she have time for you, Ben?”
His vision was red, and he refused to fucking answer. If he answered, he’d spit and roar and draw attention. He didn’t fucking need attention. He needed to take his son home to pick up his wife, then take them both to get a Christmas Tree. A big one, that Ben would put stupid rainbow lights on and She and Ryan would smile at.
Fake Face seemed to realize Ben wasn’t going to respond, and switched the topic with only a slight cough. “Are you getting each other gifts for Christmas? My ex husband and I never did, he said that it was-“
“We are.” Ben snapped. “Her idea.”
It had been Her idea. She’d grabbed his face between her hands and said Benjamin, I love you very much, and if we don’t get each other stupid gifts for Christmas, I’ll kick you in the balls. 
“Oh, well, if you need gift ideas-“
Ryan walked out of the school with some of the best timing Ben had ever goddamn seen, and something bright bloomed over Ben’s ribs as Ryan’s face split into a wide smile.
“Ben!” He shouted, closing the remaining space in only a few steps and pulling Ben into a likely bone-breaking hug. “You’re here!”
“Of course I’m fucking here,” Ben muttered, holding Ryan until the kid decided he’d had enough. “Butcher’s just a slow dumbfuck. Let’s go.”
Ryan nodded, starting past Ben to the parking lot, and Ben had almost entirely forgotten about Fake Face until she was grabbing his bicep, and he had to tense his every muscle to halt his instinct to slam her fucking head to the floor.
“What the fuck are you-“
Fake Face was giving him that cheap, twisted smile and those syrupy fucking words, not at all caring how she’d damn near just been killed. “Jewelry.”
Ben scowled, jerking his arm fully from her touch. “Speak fucking clearly-“
“Ladies love jewelry.” Fake Face said, giving Ben a pout that made her look constipated. “I’m sure your wife would love some.” Ben fucking loathes the way she said wife. Like it was a lie and not the only thing he’d ever been sure of. “And I’d love to help you pick some out for her.”
Ben looked Fake Face dead in the eye, not bothering to contain his disgust for her and that awful proposition, and never bothering to hide the sheer fucking pride and love that existed in his body for Her. He hoped She felt it back home, where Ben could sense her, peaceful and content and likely wearing one of Ben’s shirts. Maybe She’d ask Ben what he was doing, and he’d get to hear Her voice. Tell Her how he was defending her honor. 
“She doesn’t wear jewelry.” He snapped, his eyes narrowing. “She’d fucking burn it off when I made her cum. Waste of money.”
Fake Face gaped, and Ben didn’t bother to wait for her to speak before he marched after Ryan, clasping him on the shoulder and steering him fully back to the car. He might have just made shit worse. Ben knew there was a possibly that Fake Face would think he’d been flirting, and would keep trying stupid fucking moves. But Ben was pretty sure he’d also made it real fucking clear that he wasn’t planning on fucking anyone but Her ever again. That was the whole point of marrying Her. Making Her and the rest of the world really fucking get that they belonged to each other, and anyone who tried to take them away from each other should be prepared to face the goddamn consequences. Consequences Fake Face better fucking understand, because Ben was weak compared to Her. Everyone was weak compared to Her. If She wanted to, she could burn out the sky. 
If She had been present for that conversation, Fake Face might have ended up a husk of a bitch on the pavement. It was why Ben only told Her about this shit when they were in their room, where all She’d do is scowl and pout and glare at him, then start to climb up Ben’s body as She kissed him like she was trying to leave a mark. She knew there wasn’t a damn thing to worry about—Ben made fucking sure of it—but that didn’t stop Her from grinding in his lap or clawing at his chest when he finger fucked Her.
It was just another fucking perfect thing about Her. How She was a terrifyingly brilliant, sharp woman who adored the whole world, and She went slack and blissful under only Ben’s touch. How She wanted him, wanted Ben so fucking much she’d get all fucking angry at the idea of him being looked at.
“You’re a fucking person,” She’d grumbled once, Her face buried in Ben’s chest. “It’s, it’s rude-“
“I’m well fucking aware that I’m a person,” Ben had drawled Her name, tilting her chin up so she could see his teasing smirk. “I think you’re just possessive.”
She’d flushed. “I’m not possessive-“
“You are.” Ben had muttered, and leaned down to ghost one, soft kiss over her lip. “It’s fucking hot.”
It was. It made Ben’s whole body buzz and hum and fucking glow, that he was wanted enough for Her to be possessive. Not his body or name or image, Ben. Ben was fucking loved enough that She lost her damn mind when people acted like he was just a face. And then She’d turn around a call him Pretty Boy, and beg him to fuck Her, and it was so much goddamn better because She was the one doing it. 
And Ben fucking loved Her. His whole fucking life was Her and Ryan. His whole damn purpose wasn’t Fake Face, it was finally getting that fucking tree. It was letting Ryan chose the tree—as long as it was a proper, green, massive fucking pine tree, Ben didn’t fucking care what it looked like—and telling Her about Fake Face as She was tucked into his side. It was making fun of that bitch with Her, and setting up the tree when they got home so Ben could get the lights up. It was seeing how beautiful She’d be into the shifting colors, how She’d probably look like some sort of fucking siren or painting when she was cast in shadows under the glow.
It was about finally having something so fucking good, and caring for it, and never goddamn losing it.
“How was school, kid.” Ben asked, dropping behind the wheel as Ryan pulled his buckle on. “Any shit I should know about-“
“No!” Ryan shook his head, his smile never faltering. “It was a really good day, Ben. We’re learning about Feudal Japan, did you know one of the first ever novels was written by a handmaiden?”
“No, I don’t fucking read. But,” Ben pushed on, before Ryan even had a chance to frown. “I damn near didn’t finish school. You’re a hell of a lot fucking smarter than that. Keep talking.”
Ryan didn’t keep talking, and when Ben glances at him he had a soft, nervous expression.
“What-“
Ryan mumbled Her name. “She said not to let you call yourself stupid.”
Ben snorted. “Fucking sounds like her. I’m fine kid-“
“But you’re not stupid!” Ryan protested. “You taught me how to use my powers! And how to grill! And about chemicals! I passed my science test because of that.” Ben could see Ryan’s chest puff slightly in his periphery. “Mr. Kline said he’d never seen someone eat the samples, not need to go to the nurse, and get a hundred percent.”
It was hard for Ben to fight the small grin on his face, and damn near impossible to stop the flash of pride through his body. “Fine. Tell me about the stupid fucking book.”
Ryan seemed satisfied, launching into a history lesson Ben really fucking tried to listen to, but didn’t understand a damn word of. He was practiced at this, though. Between Her and Ryan, Ben was a fucking master at grunting at all the right moments, nodding and shrugging like he got what they were saying, and letting them tire themselves out. Then he’d ask a few questions because it made their faces light up with joy, stash a few of their answers just to prove that really did fucking try. For them, Ben would always fucking try.
And She must have felt it. How Ben’s entire body was focused on Her, on Ryan, because She became colorful and alive around his head as Her perfect, musical voice hummed in his head.
You’re late, Benjamin. 
Blame Butcher and Ice Lady.
Ice Lady?
Ice Lady. Ben repeated, frowning into the air. With the fucking ice-
Powers? Ice Lady with the ice powers? Ben could almost see Her pretty, teasing smile, and he rolled his eyes.
Brat.
Cunt. What did Butcher do?
Asshole was pussying around when we turn Ice Lady over. Made me fucking late to get Ryan.
But you-
I got him. Ben glanced over to Ryan, who had settled into his seat with an easy silence, bobbing his head slightly to the radio. He’s good.
Did you-
No incidents. Said today was good.
And-
He told me about his classes. Going well. Ben smirked at the road. Your faith in me is fucking astounding, Sunshine.
She scoffed between their heads. Fuck you, Ben, I’m just worried about him-
He’s fine. And I’d be happy to fuck you, beautiful, but you’re going to have to keep it together until tonight. Think you’ll survive?
You’re such an asshole. 
You love me.
I do, you dummy. She sighed in the hum of the engine. Drive faster. I’m bored.
Ben grunted, and pressed the pedal down. He’d still be safe—Ryan was in the car, and Ben’s own need to see Her didn’t outweigh the kid’s safety—but he wanted to get the fuck home. Back to Her.
She was waiting in the driveway when they pulled in. Ben hadn’t even stopped the car when she moved to stand at the driver’s side, hugging herself as She waited.
She looked so fucking happy. Just as beautiful as She’d always been, just as perfect, but fucking happy. Bouncing slightly on Her toes as Ben grunted that Ryan should go put his shit away before they left, smiling at them through the window in such an easy, natural way it made Ben’s chest feel soft. Made him goddamn glow.
He’d barely stepped out of the car when She was on him. Pulling Ben down by his shirt into a long, deep kiss, sighing into his mouth when he picked Her up off the ground, and wrapping Her arms around his neck when they pulled apart.
“Hi,” She whispered, her smile all joy and adoration that made Ben fucking high. “Ready to get a tree?”
“Fucking born it.” Ben nipped at Her nose, carefully setting Her back down on the pavement. “I’m driving.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “You can’t stop me-“
Ben gave Her an amused, flat look. “I could very fucking easily stop you, Sunshine.”
Her eyes narrowed as he raised his brows in a silent challenge. Big talk, Pretty Boy- 
You know it’s not just talk, beautiful. He winked at Her, holding Her gaze. You’re not fucking driving.
But-
No. Ben kissed Her brow, grinning against her skin. Not a chance in damn hell.
Asshole.
Yep.
She rolled her eyes, leaning into his side and frowning at the front door of their house. Is Ryan okay? I know you said he had a good day-
He’s fine, Ben muttered Her name, shifting her against his chest and wrapping his arms around Her stomach. Fucking bounced out of the school like it was his damn birthday. Saved my ass as well.
Saved your ass? She tilted Her head back, frowning up at him. What-
Fake Face. Ben grunted, and She sighed. I still think you should let me fucking kill the bitch-
No murder, Ben. Not very Christmas spirit of you. She tapped her fingers on his arm, offering him a small smile. And I kind of like that these are our problems now. I can handle someone throwing themselves at you. And I get it. 
Ben raised his brows. You get it?
Yeah. She shrugged, dropping Her head back on his shoulder, and Ben could feel all Her love rushing through his body. I mean, you’re very fucking pretty, my love. I’d throw myself at you.
He snorted. No, you fucking wouldn’t.
Yes I would-
Don’t lie, Sunshine. Ben held Her pouting glare with a smirk. You never fucking threw yourself at me, you barely damn liked me. 
I liked you, She mumbled between their heads. I love you, Ben-
I love you too, brat, but you were never that pathetically annoying and desperate. You never fucking needed to be, he squeezed his arms around Her, kissing her brow and muttering Her name in the wind. You already have me.
She smiled at him, kissing the underside of his jaw. Very romantic, Benjamin.
He rolled his eyes, dropping his face to Her neck, sucking on that one spot. Shut up.
Even as She molded into him, whimpering slightly as Ben kissed up her neck and behind her ear, Ben knew She was fucking right. It was a damn good thing that the worst shit in their lives right now was Fake Face and Ryan getting changed so damn slowly. Not life or death, no screaming or blood, just Her swaying in Ben’s arms and his whole body feeling fucking alive in her presence. And neither of those worst things would be difficult to deal with. Fake Face was just an annoying bitch, and Ryan was finished in the next five minutes. Ben lived a life where he could kiss his wife until She was slack jawed and glossy eyed, guide her into the passenger’s seat of their care, and get his family out of the driveway before She had a chance to start thinking again. Now the worst problems were that they needed that goddamn tree, and Ben had to ignore Her pretty glare as he drove them to the farm.
You cheated. She grumbled in his head, playing with his hand in Her’s, and Ben smirked.
I don’t have a damn clue what you’re talking about, Sunshine. I’d never fucking cheat, I’m a goddamn gentleman-
Fuck you-
Not with Ryan in the car, darling. Ben’s grin became toothy and wide as She stuck her tongue out at him, his attention turning to Ryan’s pale face in the rearview mirror. “You good back there, kid?”
“Yeah, I’m just, um-“ Ryan swallowed, his heart a little uneven. “I’ve never gotten a Christmas tree before? Do we have to do anything?”
She twisted in Her seat, giving Ryan a sweet smile and soft words. “You don’t have to do anything. If you see one you like, tell us, and we’ll take care of the rest of it.”
Ben squeezed Her thigh as he glanced back at Ryan. “It’s real damn easy, kid. You’ll be fine.”
“What if I, what if I pick the wrong one-“
“It’s a fucking tree.” Ben gave Ryan a firm look through the mirror. “Long as it fits in the house and has branches, it can’t be wrong.”
Ryan nodded slowly. “Mom always got lights for our tree-“
“We got lights, Ryan.” 
She blinked at Ben. “We do? When did we-“
“Last week.” He grunted. “When you were off doing your mystery shit.” Which you still haven’t fucking told me about-
And I won’t until it’s relevant, Pretty Boy. “Ryan,” She frowned into the air, tapping Her finger’s over Ben’s hand. “Was that enough for shopping? Because I need to go back to Best Buy for Secret Santa-“
Ben shot Her a look, his brows drawn together. “I thought you finished that shit.”
“No, I got your gift,” She gave him a sweet smile. “This is for-“ She cut herself off, and Ben rolled his eyes. She wasn’t fucking fooling him, she’d been nowhere close to slipping up. “I can’t tell you-“
“Shut the fuck up, Sunshine.” He raised Her hand to her mouth, pressing a kiss to Her knuckles. “Ryan, tell her about that book shit.”
Ryan’s face lit up, and Ben only got a light whack on his knee as she twisted to listen to Ryan’s repeated lecture about the Japanese lady and her book. She’d, apparently, already fucking known about the book, because of fucking course She did. The rest of the car ride was a conversation Ben tried—and fucking failed—to keep up with, and when they parked the sun had already dropped out of the sky, leaving them some of the last fuckers wandering the farm. 
It was better like that. Ryan could wander—Ben keeping a careful ear on his heartbeat—Ben could keep Her tucked safely under his arm as She lit a careful fire in her palm, and none of them had to worry about invasive fucking pussies trying to talk to them. Ryan and Ben could even throw snow at each other without worrying about accidentally murdering someone. 
“If I get hit,” She mumbled, her head leaning on Ben’s chest. “I’ll kick your ass, Pretty Boy.”
Ben snorted, another ball of snow already in his fist as he scanned over the tree line, waiting for Ryan’s next strike. “What if fucking Ryan hits you, you’re not going to kick his ass-“
“Is it Ryan’s job to protect me?”
Ben gave Her an amused grin as she blinked at him with fake fucking innocence. “You’ve got a smart fucking mouth, brat-“
She shrugged. “You love it- Ben!”
He’d hauled Her up his chest, swallowing her squeak of surprise with a deep, sloppy kiss and turning his body to take the bullet of Ryan’s snowball.
“Fuck, Ben, I’m sorry-“
She and Ben both pulled back from each other with wide eyes, and Ben grunted as She half-climbed up his body to stare at Ryan. 
“Did you just say fuck?”
“Um,” Ryan’s voice was far too damn nervous, his heart rapid, and when Ben adjusted his body to see the kid, he was flushed and gaping. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry-“
“I’m not mad, Ry,” She pushed out of Ben’s hold, offering Ryan a reassuming smile. “I just didn’t expect it.”
“Am I,” Ryan looked between Her and Ben with wide eyes. “Am I allowed to swear-“
“Of course you’re fucking allowed to swear,” Ben grunted, pulling Her back under his arm. “Do we look like goddamn hypocrite pussies to you, kid?”
“No?”
“Then swear as much as you fucking want. But,” Ben raised a finger, narrowing his eyes at Ryan. “You have to go find that tree.”
Ryan nodded, and his heart sounding a little more steady, and bounced back into the trees.
When Ben looked back to Her, she was smiling at him. A real, loving, soft smile that made Ben’s whole body pound and riot with Her. Just fucking Her. 
What-
You’re a good dad, Ben. Her smile widened, so fucking adoring it might kill him.
It’s not that big a damn deal-
No. She held Ben’s hand over her shoulders, letting him guide them after Ryan. It is. You’re an amazing, handsome, grumpy old dad. Ryan and I are very lucky to have you.
Ben only grunted, because he was fucking lucky to have them. For them to forgive him enough to let him stay, to offer him their trust and love when they were the only two, truly fucking good people in the world. Whatever.
She glared at him, but let it go, and they walked in silence for another few minutes—Ben’s whole existence only Her and Ryan’s heartbeats, just as fucking calm as they should always be—until she tugged on his arm.
I got an early gift for you, by the way.
What-
Butcher. I figured out what you can get him. I’ll show you when we get home.
Ben frowned into the dark. You’re getting his, and mine, and your secret fucker, and shit for Ryan.
Yeah. She shrugged. But those last three were really easy.
He raised his brows. Your secret shit was easy.
She hummed. Yep. My person’s really predictable, and loud about what they like. You just have to be around them for five minutes and you’d have figured it out as well.
It’s MM.
I’m not going to tell-
Annie.
Ben-
Hughie.
She sighed. Ben, I’m not telling you.
Ben narrowed his eyes at Her. It’s fucking Hughie.
I said I’m not telling you, cunt. She whacked his chest lightly. So shut the fuck up and drop it.
It was defiantly fucking Hughie. And Ben would’ve gotten Her to admit it—with enough teasing words, grumbled praise, and long kisses Ben could get Her to tell him fucking anything—but Ryan reappeared with a wide, bright expression.
“I found it!” He bounced on his toes, grinning between Her and Ben. “It’s that way, and it’s really big and spiky.”
She nodded, tilting Her head at the direction Ryan had pointed to. “Ben, if you go with Ryan, I can go find the tree-cutter people-“
Ben scoffed, keeping Her pressed against his side. “Don’t be fucking insane, Sunshine. Let’s go, kid.”
Ryan glanced at Her—Her attention focused on Ben with a heat he could feel over his ribs—but started walking, Ben pulling Her after him.
Ben-
I can get the tree, he muttered Her name, glancing down as he squeezed his hold on Her. We don’t need some pussy with a fucking saw.
Are you-
I’m fucking positive. He kissed the top of her head. Trust me.
She sighed, but nodded, and grew loose and easy in Ben’s body.
And he was right. Ryan presented the tree to them—he’d done a damn good job, and when Ben told him so the kid lit up like the fucking sun—and Ben barely grunted as he ripped it out of the ground.
He started moving without a damn word, supporting it on one shoulder, and smirked at Her open, pretty fucking gape as he twined his free hand into Her’s. Her heart was fluttering in Her chest, her beautiful face slack with need, and Ben felt something in his chest try to pound out of him, into Her.
Don’t fucking drool, Sunshine. He winked at Her, waiting for Ryan to be in his view before he started the walk back, and She just swallowed, Her voice breathless between their heads.
Fuck you-
I will, darling. When we get home I’ll throw you around as much as you fucking want. He shifted his grip on the tree, and felt his dick twitch as She half slumped into his body, her gaze pure fucking love and want. Swear it.
Ben never got to throw Her around. She’d nodded, tugging Ben to walk a little faster, and paid for the tree with  fingers tapping on the counter, but they’d barely made it halfway back to the house before She was asleep in the car. It wasn’t even that fucking late, but Ben saw Her body slump in the passenger’s seat—Her presence in his head turning into a natural, eternal and peaceful glow of beauty—and heard Her heartbeat slow a moment later. When he glanced in the rearview mirror, Ryan was knocked the fuck out as well, and he smiled. 
He left the tree on the roof when they got home, and got them both to bed. He unbuckled Ryan first—She’d kill Ben if he left Ryan in the cold car alone—and carried him up to his room with careful steps. 
“Ryan,” he muttered, setting the kid carefully on the bed. “Ryan, wake the fuck up.”
Ryan’s eyes blinked open, still clouded with sleep. “Ben, wha…” He trailed off with a yawn, and Ben sighed.
“Need to get changed, kid. And brush your teeth.”
“What’s goin’ on-“
“You’re going to bed.” Ben grunted. “But you’re not doing it in fucking ice-covered clothing. Change.”
Ryan nodded slowly, starting to shuffle around the room, and Ben returned to the car.
She was so fucking beautiful. There were glittering drops of melted snow on Her eyelashes, and her mouth was parted as a small amount of drool fell from Her perfect lips. He swiped his thumb over it, She barely stirred, and Ben realized she was knocked the fuck out. And he wouldn’t be waking Her up for the fucking world.
Ben carried Her upstairs—just as he’d done with Ryan—but when he reached their room he set Her down carefully, and stripped her himself. Careful slow movements that didn’t disturb her, changing Her into his shirt—not bothering with underwear—and tucking Her under their covers before going to check on Ryan.
The kid had passed out without turning his lights off or getting under the covers. Ben fixed both of those things, brushed some hair from Ryan’s forehead, and checked on that stupid fucking turtle so Ryan wouldn’t wake up to it dead. It was sleeping under a sun lamp with a damn worry in the world, and had more than enough food to last into the next three damn years. Ryan had been keeping his word, and the thing was growing like a fucking monster. And the kid seemed to damn love it, so Ben gave it a little fucking extra food as a silent, stupid thanks for doing whatever the hell it was doing to make Ryan smile.
She was still asleep when Ben returned. Curled into his side of the bed, Her face pressed into his pillow, and soft, incoherent mumbles falling out of Her mouth until Ben joined Her. She let out a blissful sigh as he pulled Her into his arms and tangled his legs with Hers, her pretty face buried in his chest and that flower shampoo she used like a goddamn drug. Making his body relax, because it was right where it should be, and his brain lull into an easy sleep.
Easy fucking sleep he’d get to wake up from in the morning without screams or tears, with his perfect wife still clinging to his body and all Her love alive inside of him. She’d get that promised fucking when She woke up as well, and he’d make everyone pancakes for breakfast, then drive Ryan to school. He’d grab the tree when he got back, wait for Ryan to get home before he put up the lights, and She’d watch them both with a smile before telling Ben what he should get Butcher.
Then it would be Christmas, and he’d get to give Her his goddamn amazing gift, and She’d kiss him, and everything would be so fucking good.
Ben’s life was really fucking good.
End Note: I don’t care if they don’t sell turtles at Costco in my universe they do.
If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3
If you want to be tagged, just ask! (Separate from main taglist)
Taglist
@manicjk @lordofthunderthr @artemys-ackles @brtodd @ej13928
@deansbbyx @generalmoonpolice
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kiyo-cant-write · 2 days ago
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ciel & sebastian w/ servant!reader around ciel's age ✧・゚
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Hello! My writing blog was always meant to be multifandom, but recently I have had many twst requests. To keep up with my personal interests, here is a Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler post about my childhood bias/crush (when I was 11-12): Ciel Phantomhive.
While this post is tagged Sebastian x Reader, their relationship is platonic in this particular work because of the reader's design.
Please note that while requests are open, they will not be posted until after the 27th of December or more accurately into the new year (January 2025). Feel free to request anything within the parameters of my rules, but keep this scheduling fact in mind! Thank you!
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Summary: [Name] is a recent addition to the Phantomhive Staff, gathered by Sebastian and Ciel. They are around Ciel's age and this leads to some... shenanigans.
TW/CW: canon-typical darkness, manga compliant
Notes: pre-relationship (Ciel), explicitly platonic (Sebastian), the reader is human, the reader is 12-13 years old, they/them pronouns for the reader, take place explicitly pre-Campania
Guest Stars: Phantomhive Staff, Elizabeth Midford (mentioned)
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Ciel Phantomhive
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Ciel is initially indifferent to [Name] similar to his feelings toward his other servants about half of the time (even Sebastian).
He doesn't see himself as a child so does it matter?
He honestly tries to avoid [Name] at first because he wants to be seen as an equal to the adults. Baldo commenting to "play" with his "friend" really doesn't help the early stages of the relationship.
Being persistent but not forceful will work well.
[Name] needs to prove their worth and use in the household.
[Name] will quickly prove themselves with "clean-up."
They will kill in the name of Earl Phantomhive.
Ciel notices their willingness to serve.
He admires their dedication to protecting him/the estate.
He is impressed if they do not hesitate to strike.
The more he realizes their use and loyalty, the more likely he is to speak to them or even allow [Name] to speak freely with him.
He doesn't like when Sebastian teases him for it, though.
Sebastian might be the biggest obstacle.
If Ciel feels that [Name] is being overbearing, they get sent to spend time with Finny (16) who is also relatively close in age to them. Though Finny is similar to a child brother at times.
Once they are closer, Ciel may become a bit irritable if [Name] gives Finny too much attention or coddling.
"He needs to act his own age."
Ciel cannot do anything about any possible feelings.
[Name] hesitates to do anything either.
They both understand the betrothal between Elizabeth and Ciel.
Finny had given them a suggestion that they weren't sure what to do with. Was it a good idea? No. Was it a curious one? Yes, indeed. They wanted to know what the master's response would be, but they feared it would only be anger for their disrespect. Still... tempting.
[Name] considered their options as they helped Finny in the garden.
"Do you really think that would be a good idea?" they asked him.
Finny nodded as he attempted to gently weed the garden. The last time Finny did this he ripped out some important plants and Sebastian had been ready to skin him. Since that happened, and after the events of last night's clean-up, maintenance was needed and Sebastian chose [Name] as "Finny Watch."
[Name] accepted it as it was.
"I think it would do the young master some good to have a friend his age who calls him by name! He doesn't have any friends..."
Finny seemed sad about it. [Name] wondered why Finny did not try to be a "friend" to their master, but Finny seemed to sense their curiosity. He shook his head.
"It can't be me, I'm older than the young master for one," he explained, "And the young master doesn't think of me like that."
"And he thinks of me as a friend?" [Name] chose to ask.
Finny nodded.
"I can tell he thinks differently of you!"
The gardener beamed at them and they didn't want to crush whatever whimsy and joy this was giving him. They sighed and gave in, knowing they wouldn't hear the end of it otherwise, especially after Finny told Baldo and Mey-Rin about it.
"I'll try and see," they agreed.
[SEVERAL HOURS LATER]
At the end of the day, Sebastian asked [Name] to report to the young master directly about their supervision of Finny and the state of the estate's gardens. [Name] walked into the room and bowed to their lord, nodding to Sebastian a moment after.
"Good evening," they spoke, not making eye contact with either.
"Good evening, [Name]," Ciel greeted, taking a sip of his tea as he watched them, "I trust you kept Finny under control?"
[Name] nodded.
"Yes, he took care of replanting and weeding. There were no, ah, plant deaths," they explained in as succinct a way as they could, "We talked as we worked and completed everything Sebastian told us to."
They had to ignore the soft stifled laugh that came from Sebastian when they fumbled for a phrase and chose "plant deaths."
"I see, very good then."
He seemed pleased. The master was in a good mood? Hm. This might be their chance so they took it without hesitation.
"Master, if I may speak freely for a moment?" they asked him
Ciel raised an eyebrow but he nodded slowly after a moment of contemplation.
"You may but whatever about?"
[Name] felt bad for confusing him but it was somewhat refreshing to hear the master speak without that underlying darkness in his tone.
"Finny suggested something to me. I would like to try something," [Name] explained, hoping this wouldn't ruin whatever relationship they did have with the master.
"Something. Very specific," was Ciel's comment, "Go ahead."
Ciel seemed certain [Name] wouldn't hurt him and even if they tried, Sebastian would handle them swiftly like he always did.
"Ah, thank you for your permission... Ciel."
There was a silence that fell over the room as neither child spoke. Ciel was frozen in place, Sebastian seemed to be holding back another laugh, and [Name] was unsure if Finny's theory was true.
A faint hue of pink dusted Ciel's cheeks as he averted his gaze.
"Was," he began, "Was that all you wanted?"
"Yes," [Name] admitted, "I'm sorry, sir."
Ciel was silent once again and [Name] worried they really had crossed a line, but then he spoke again, softer this time.
"It isn't as though I care what you call me when there aren't guests around," he said, waving the hand that wore his family's crest, "Do as you like with the estate's image in mind... I suppose."
[Name] couldn't disguise the smile that took over their features.
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Sebastian Michaelis
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To be quite frank, Sebastian thinks children are brats.
He didn't want another child around but it cannot be helped because [Name] is useful for the estate's security.
Despite not liking them at first, Sebastian is always "nice."
He is never without a polite smile, it's a bit unnerving.
As [Name]'s work proves proficient, he eases up.
They make fewer mistakes than the others.
Because of this, they are not so annoying to him.
"Child, you would do best not to hinder my work. But if you would like to lend me your help, you may."
He refers to [Name] more often as "child" or "littlest one."
He means they are the youngest of the servants.
He often lets [Name] off easy with punishment, similar to how he never scolds Tanaka the way he does with Baldo, Mey-Rin, Snake, and Finny.
Sebastian likes to make fun of [Name] and Ciel's similar ages.
He allows [Name] to sit in for Ciel's lessons at times.
In the end, Sebastian might be fond of the human.
Still, he won't say that kind of thing. What use would kind words be from someone like him? He doesn't much care for anyone.
He is bound to his master until the end of their contract.
That is all. Right?
"What in the world are you doing?" Sebastian asked as he came up to them, essentially appearing from thin air.
The young servant jumped at the sudden voice in the silence of the cellar and whipped around to face him, dropping their cleaning rag on the floor in the motion. Noting it was Sebastian, they let out a relieved sigh and bent down to pick up the rag.
"Sebastian! You startled me!" they told him, brows furrowed, "Why do you like to sneak up on me like that?"
Sebastian chuckled softly, a slight smile playing on his lips.
"I don't mean to. Perhaps you are just easily scared, child?"
"I don't think so," they said softly before they moved to continue their task, "And, I'm not done with this task yet. Did you have something else for me to do?"
They couldn't believe they had more work to do now. That was always why Sebastian came to see them, to give them a task someone else had botched or enlist their help with something else entirely.
"I did," the butler told them, "I seem to require your help with a lesson for the young master."
[Name] paused.
"A lesson?" they asked him, giving a skeptical look though they tried their best to mask it, "Would I be expected to come with you now?"
They were unsure if he was telling the truth. Sebastian enjoyed messing with them, just a little. But it was enough to make [Name] wonder every time the butler told them much of anything. They wanted to go to the lesson, though. Learning was... fun.
Sebastian noticed the look, being a demon and all, but said nothing about it. Instead, he simply nodded and smiled at them as he always did to the guests the manor received.
"Indeed. I would need you to accompany me to the study."
They weighed their options. Sebastian was probably not lying.
"Alright," they agreed a moment later, "Do I need to finish this task first? You did give me a list of things to make certain of here."
Sebastian shook his head.
"No, that won't be necessary. I will take care of it."
They almost bowed to him but caught themself. It was hard to treat Sebastian as a butler when he held himself with as much pride as any man would. Still, the one time they had spoken too highly of him, the young master had gotten upset with them (and Sebastian too).
It had been an... ordeal.
"I see. Thank you, then," they told him curtly though they couldn't help but smile.
A lesson! How fun! They wanted to cheer but didn't.
Even if they were only cleaning the room to spectate, it was a chance to learn things. They would learn something and earl was learning! It seemed like a fairly good deal in [Name]'s opinion.
Too focused on rushing to put away their supplies and head toward Ciel's study, they did not see a softer expression adorn the butler's face as he watched them move past him.
Perhaps they would never know his true affection for his littlest one.
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Imagine the rest yourself~
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Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a kuro-only blog! ^^
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user1smvtysturniolo · 10 hours ago
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Slap a bow on it for ya | Matt Sturniolo
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(Since he said this in the last car video, an idea of fanfic came to my head and I hope it doesnt flop!)
Pairing: sassy!soft!dom!Matt x sub!shy!reader
Summary: Matt knew that your aesthetic was coquette and how much you loved stuff like that so he decided to have a little detail with you.
Trigger Warning: established relationship, fingering (f!receiving), oral (f!receiving) pet names, swearing
Let me know if you wanna be on my tag list, xoxo
It's been a long time since you saw Matt, your boyfriend because of work and other stuff. And this time you decided to come over to his house to give him a surprise, and surprisingly for you too, he was alone at home and had something prepared for you.
"Hi Matt!" I greeted him with a hug as he opened the door. "Hi sweetheart, I expected you would come soon now. It's been days since I've seen you" he said as he hugged me tighter and shut the door. It's only been 4 days but he's really clingy I love that about him. "You look so pretty with that lacy dress, with that little bow on ya" he playfully said as he checked me out when we pulled out from the hug. "Oh, yeah?" I gave him a 360, letting him see the bow on my hair too. "So girly! Love it!" He said with a funny baby voice, trying to mock the way I talk with my friends. I looked up at Matt and crossed my arms "Matt!" I pouted my lips, trying to be mad at him
He grabbed my waist. "Com' on, ya know I'm playing 'round" he winked as he kissed my lips. First it was a normal kiss, but then he slid his tongue in, taking more dominance. He grabbed me and made his way to his room, not breaking the kiss. When we got there he shut the door with his leg and placed me on his bed. "You're just too damn cute when you try to act upset." He chuckles, voice low and playful as he crowds over you on the bed, hands wandering up your sides. "But really, babe, you look gorgeous. That dress really shows off your curves" He bit his lip. His gaze was heated, full of adoration as his thumb brushes over your cheekbone. "Now, how could I resist such a pretty baby?" In one smooth motion he's kneeling before you, hands settling on your knees to gently push them apart. His own eyes flicker up to meet yours, seeking permission with his actions more than words.
You lick your lips and nod. "Mmm, you know exactly what you're doing." You say breathily, parting your legs a little more, baiting him further, your eyes begging for more. He grins at your actions, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that smirk you love so much. "Oh I sure do, babe." Leaning in, he kisses the inside of your thigh tenderly, his hands gliding up your legs under the hem of your dress, fingertips dancing over your sensitive skin. He hums against your warm flesh, looking up once more, eyes intense, yet soft around the edges for just you. "God I need you." He murmured to himself as he quickly started to remove my dress leaving me in my underwear. Before removing my panties he started kissing my inner thighs, softly. It made me want to squirm under his touch and kisses. When he finally removed my thongs, his eyes narrowed at the sight of my soaking walls. "Fuck..." he swore to himself.
Before he did anything. He looked up at my blushing face and spoke up. "Baby... I have something you might like" he grinned as he searched for something in his drawer and got a bow. He put it in his middle and ring finger. "Let's slap a bow on it for ya'" he smirked as he finally put those two fingers in, pumping in and out, earning a loud gasp from me. Your eyes widen, cheek blushing at his playful words and the sassyness and unexpected action. He watches your reaction closely, a self-satisfied glint in his eyes. I moan out his name as I start grinding my hips against his fingers, my legs shaking a bit, my eyes watering from the intense sensations taking over. "Oh god yes...Matt...". I moan out. "That's it, let it all out" Matt's movements start picking up a pace with your movements, the bed starting to creak in time with the pace.
"Your noises are so damn hot." Matt removes his fingers and replaces it by his mouth. Working his tongue in and out, you're so overwhelmed you gripped on his hair as you moaned loudly. He's mesmerized by your ecstasy. My body is arched completely off the bed now, overwhelmed by the pleasure his fingers are giving, the muscles in my legs trembling violently under his hands. "You look gorgeous when you come undone for me." He groans out against my pussy, I whimper at the feeling of his words in my pussy. Matt loved making you a squirm mess. He decides to keep the pressure consistent, determined to get a good orgasm.
"You close, baby?" he whispers as he looks up, his fingers making their way on my pussy hole again and deeper earning a big gasp from me. When I looked up at him, I saw how he licked his mouth from my juices, turned me on so bad. He slid his free hand up to caress your chest teasingly over my bra. "Matt... I'm going to cum" I manage to say between moans. With a final cry of his name, waves of intense pleasure wash through me as I finally come hard, my inner walls pulsating around his fingers still buried inside. He slowly draws his fingers out, watching you intently as you ride out every shiver and aftershock. "Fucking beautiful..." he sighs, his own breaths coming in ragged gasps. "You did so good, babe. You're amazing" He brings his glistening digits to his lips, sucking them clean with a low groan.
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vaspider · 21 hours ago
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This is the last thing I'm going to post about this. Yes, reblogs are turned off. No, I am not tagging anyone's Tumblr or pointing you towards the people involved: I have them blocked. Do not go bother either one of them.
The Tumblr post I responded to earlier tonight went up before I read the actual response emails, because, well. They were sent while I was AFK, and then the Tumblr post containing Razz's response emails was tagged for me while I was, you know, not working. When I finally got to actually read the emails, I hit this line:
I bought the first heat pack during your sale and it said very explicitly in the emails that you guys would send a random one from your supply, no mention that customers needed to put something else in their cart.
Emphasis mine.
And at the point where someone's just fully making stuff up rather than admitting they fucked up, I'm done. So. In the name of my own sanity, I issued a full refund for this order, and:
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Hi Razz,
Since you and your friend decided to take this conversation to Tumblr in the 3 or so hours I was AFK spending time with my partners, I hadn't actually gotten an opportunity to go back and read these emails. The first time I saw them was not in my inbox but idly scrolling Tumblr while petting my dog at 11 PM with your friend's, uh… commentary on them. Your assumption that I was condescending and calling you stupid rather than that I'm autistic and speak very precisely is very interesting, in context, and skipping over me saying 'I'm baffled' and 'I'm genuinely confused' to call that 'I think you're stupid' and all of the other really shitty commentary your friend put on those emails is… well, it's a choice. And at first I thought this must be someone out of pocket and white-knighting for you so I was not going to hold you to account for what they said, but then when I went to go block them, I saw your comments, and your posts, so. Yeah, that's fun and cute.
Anyway, the email absolutely did not "explicitly say" that we would be picking from our stock. What it said was, as follows:
"Emet just spent a week going through our entire stock of fabric, adding all of the new patterns & figuring out which designs must be discontinued since the fabrics can't be ordered anymore. She's got all of the closeout heat & cold packs prepped - ready to fill & ship - and you can get one of the discontinued prints FREE with the purchase of any regular-price heating pad, no code required! When they're gone, they're gone, so don't wait! Order by December 14th for domestic heat & cold pack delivery estimated by 12/24."
This section is followed by a selection of 9 New Heat & Cold Pack Patterns, labeled "New Heat & Cold Pack Patterns," followed by another section marked "Closeout Options!" which had 5 of the then 15-20 Closeout patterns, all labeled with CLOSEOUT at the front of the name.
After this was our legally-required footer with our mailing address and the unsubscribe link.
Nowhere in there does it explicitly say that we will be picking the item for you. In fact, it says "you can get one of the discontinued prints free," which would seem to imply you need to pick something.
I'm not sure why I should have assumed that sending you a screenshot would be something inaccessible to you when you… sent me a screenshot. Nobody said you were incompetent. Nobody said you were stupid. Nobody said blind people can't take screenshots. I mean, you took a screenshot of the email that you said explicitly said something it does not at all say, so clearly you personally can take a screenshot, and find that to be a useful tool in communicating. Why would I have thought that responding in kind would be something inaccessible to you? I haven't a clue, but what I do know is that my wife just walked downstairs after her full sleep cycle and said, "Is this still that person?" so … yeah.
I've refunded this order & closed your customer account. It's genuinely worth it to me at this point to lose the money so I never again have to deal with a person who chooses to try to tell me falsehoods about the content of an email that I just told you that I wrote. No further responses will be received by any of our staff.
Spider
I’m not going to waste more time reading paragraphs of you insulting me over not understanding your esoteric definition of closeout and deciding that a blind person can’t be blind if they can take a screenshot. I had a simple question, I practically resolved it myself, and between my first email and the next you leapt to conclusions and treated me like dirt for the crime of not having access to information you never provided in am accessible way.  I choose to speak with a trusted friend over the situation the same way you would speak to your own partners. it was up to them what they did with your own words. Whatever fallout comes of this is on you. I’ve made sure the blind community is aware of your discrimination and as far as I’m concerned that’s the end of this. I hope your shipping costs I never even asked about were worth the income you've lost from me and my extended community since that tiny amount of money appears to be all you care about. 
Razz T. 
Razz,
Go away.
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highlordofkrypton · 1 day ago
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This is the story of Lucien Vanserra, as told in his own words, of his journey through his immortal life. Lucien recounts how he, a vampire, fell in love with the radiant and innocent Tamlin and how he destroyed both of their lives.
Finally, the time has come for your main gift @yaralulu for this year's @acotargiftexchange. This is the first of five chapters, so I hope you are seated and ready for bloody and toxic yaoi! Special shoutout to @olenvasynyt in this chapter, hope you like it and thank you for the inspiration!
TAGS: Explicit (oh yes, there will be smut), Lucien Vanserra/Tamlin, Alternate Universe - Vampire. More tags to be added along with new chapters.
READ ON AO3 OR UNDER THE CUT.
Vampires aren’t real.
If they were, surely the world would know about them by now? Science has advanced far too much, along with surveillance and weaponry. There’s no way that a vampire could get away—
No, they could.
The nights are more active with workers and party goers alike keeping the streets alive. People go missing all the time, and the understanding of disease and unique conditions could easily explain away the symptoms of vampirism. Fear of the sun? No, an allergy—skin sensitivity. Sunglasses? It’s nothing more than the consequences of a hangover. Nesta has seen it all, and she unravelled every single thread with plausible explanation and proof. If this one doesn’t work out, then she’ll know: vampires aren’t real.
Her manicured fingers trace the winding banister, up to a plain apartment. She would have imagined something much more wondrous and lavish for someone with the means to live forever, thus accumulating limitless wealth. Instead, he lives among the people, blending in with what would be his next meal. I could be next, she remarks, made of flesh and blood just like his neighbours. Is this worth it?
Curiosity is an insatiable hunger, and poverty deepens it. This could be the discovery of the century, and it would have her name on it. Nesta Archeron would carry her surname out of disgrace and finish her father’s work—the work that had him branded as a madman. People are much kinder to her, likening her interest as esoteric. It works in her favour that witchcraft and astrology are becoming more and more on trend. But she doesn’t want to be a trend. Her hunger lies in the truth, no matter how painful and terrifying. Her work is Putlizer worthy, she just needs the right subject.
Her knuckles rap at the door, just below the metal plaque written ‘406’.
Nesta had met the breathtaking stranger at the bar, drinking her woes away. Another opportunity slipped through her fingers in favour of lesser, more amenable male colleagues. Her mouth is too sharp, and her brain too smart. Maybe journalism isn’t for me, she’d lamented into a glass of whiskey, and at that very moment, he’d slid into the stool beside her. Her lips parted to reject him, but they hung there in muted surprise as she stared. He was beautiful, except beautiful didn’t cut it. He was breathtaking, so much that she could not find the words to express the depth of his handsomeness. Not quite pale, his pristine skin carried an olive undertone which she was sure would ripen nicely under the kiss of the sun, if he cared to venture out into it. His eyes—one amber, and the other pure gold—glinted in the darkness, as if stealing the light in the very room. There wasn’t enough light to make them glow like that, but that made him all the more entrancing. His long auburn hair was tied into a loose bun, strands artfully placed around his face to frame his high cheekbones and sharp jaw. He was so beautiful that she could not doubt that he was something more.
They got to talking, and he made her laugh in ways that were not obnoxious or at her expense. His flirtations were smooth and subtle, but not so much that she did not notice. His words were like the undertones of sweet maple in her drink—present, but not overwhelming and yet, it marks the difference between a good whiskey and everything else.
“I have your story,” he said so easily, as if changing lives were something he simply did at the drop of a hat. “Do you believe in vampires, Nesta?” He slipped a card into her pocket, and she had run her fingers over the gold printed address over and over again before finding herself here. 
The door swings open, and there he stands, nearly a foot above her in all his ethereal glory. His red hair had been let loose to fall across his shoulders like soft silk. She yearns to reach out and touch, her curiosity running wild in his presence. Instead, she tightens her grip on her purse and tips her chin up in defiance of the nerves bubbling inside her.
“You’re here.” The velvet of his voice sends shivers down her spine, and the delicate smile makes her weak. Does he know its power? He has to. His confidence is unmistakable. “Come in, Nesta.”
The apartment is modest, to say the least. It is the antithesis of its inhabitant who naturally commands a crowded room. Here, in the plainness of the room, he is the only thing that matters and it makes her painfully aware of him and his every movement.
He takes her coat, but she keeps her purse, and guides her to the small living room. He sweeps his slender hand towards the single seat while he takes the couch across from her. His arm rests along its back, extended and possessive, and he crosses his long legs. Although he’s the one being interviewed, his gaze weighs on her. It dissects her, and his thoughts are unreadable. He is nothing more than pleasant, patient and willing.
Nesta quickly takes out her things, as if not to waste his time—as if he didn’t have plenty of it. Her recorder is placed between them on a cheap ikea coffee table of pressed wood; she prefers it over using her phone, too easily distracted by the pop of notifications if she were to leave it out within view. In her lap, she keeps a notebook and a pen to jot down any questions that float to mind so as to avoid interrupting him.
“Are you ready?” He asks her. “Do you have enough battery on that?” His eyes flicker down to the recorder.
“I have my phone if ever,” Nesta explains. A small part of her thinks this is some kind of prank, and that she came all this way for nothing. It wouldn’t be the first time I went home with a man and ended up disappointed. What do I have to lose?
She sits back into the chair. “You were saying vampires were real?”
“I’m not just saying. They are real.”
Nesta smiles, and chuckles softly. “You’ll have to excuse me if I seem… incredulous. In my line of work, people make bold claims all the time and they rarely have the proof to back it up.”
If her resistance bothers him, he doesn’t show it. He is nothing more but comfortable. He watches her for a long moment, smiling again. His lips spread to bare his teeth, and the smile widens and widens to reveal two pointed fangs in place of his canine teeth. Before Nesta can argue about the use of false teeth, his eyes light up, and he speaks a single command: “Undress.”
Oh, yes, she would like that. She would like nothing more than to please the man before her. Nesta looks down, fingers darting to the buttons down the centre of her shirt. She frees the topmost one, then moves to the second one.
“Enough.”
Nesta blinks, her attention still pointed downwards to her blouse. A small gasp escapes her as she looks to Lucien in horror, and though his display had been innocuous, the realization that she is not safe prevails. He could hurt her, and she would be willing.
“I won’t harm you, Nesta. I just needed to show you that the things I can do… they are beyond human ability.” He keeps that pleasant smile on his face.
“Why me?”
“Because I want to tell my story. I have lived a long life, and to think that one day, it could fade to nothing,” he turns his head, glancing out the window, thoughtful. “It was not a good life, and I thought to confess to a priest, but I do not care for God’s forgiveness. Perhaps by helping you, I can atone for what I have done.”
Fear simmers beneath her curiosity, but Nesta won’t leave. She wants to know, she needs to know what could haunt someone like him? The terror he brings makes him even more attractive, and Nesta loathes herself for that thought. She nods. “Go on.”
“My name is Lucien Vanserra and I am a vampire, like my brothers and my father before me. I can no longer remember when I was born, or how I became the way I am, but what I remember is the first time I felt alive.” As he speaks, he looks beyond her, to a distant past she will soon be privy to. “And the day I died.”
Vampires don’t die… do they? Nesta isn’t sure what he means, whether he’s hinting at the way he was turned, or something metaphorical. Regardless, she knows exactly what her hook is going to be.
“My early life is nothing more than a haze, walking through this world as something more than human, but less than…” His pink lips purse, looking for the words. “Less than,” he simply decides, and Nesta simply understands. Sometimes, there are no words for that feeling, but only someone who has experienced it will understand. 
“You see, my father is very old and controls most of the world’s… interests. He has worked very hard to build an empire. My six brothers and I were his tools to achieve that.”
Were? These brothers, are they biological?
Nesta knows better than to interrupt a story. She jots her question down, and leaves it for later in case it’s answered later in their evening together. He pauses to give her time to write, and when she lifts her gaze, her breath catches yet again. The weight of his full attention is something. It brings heat to her cheeks, and she glances away, as if to wordlessly ask him to do the same.
Lucien glances away, lightly resting his chin on his knuckles. “His will was all that mattered. He would starve us, make us fight each other for scraps.” He looks back at Nesta before she queues another question. “Of human meat. We’d have to try and draw blood out of it.” Again, he turns his head and finds that distant point to stare at. “It was more of the same. Pain. Hunger. Hate. It all blends together after a couple of centuries. I can’t imagine what it is like for my father. Thousands of years,” he says breathlessly, shaking his head. “And so stagnant.”
“He’s still alive?” The surprise draws the question out of her before she can help it, but Nesta is rarely apologetic, even for the most honest of mishaps.
A purse of the lips is all his father is worth it seems. So little emotions have poured from this man before her; perhaps that’s her responsibility then. Not only to tell his story, but to feel it on his behalf. His life is more than words on a page; she’ll make sure to do it justice, to give it the second chance he so clearly yearns for.
“I would say so. My father has a way of… surviving even the worst odds. Or perhaps my eldest brother has finally dealt with him.” The corner of Lucien’s lips twitch, mild annoyance rearing its head. “I find it strange how humans are the one who show more grace than any of the gods you all worship so.”
“She was my first, a peasant woman in some distant countryside. The details of the place have long faded, but I remember her face, clear as day. The most beautiful human I had ever seen.” Lucien looks at Nesta when he speaks the next words. “At the time.”
“My father had tired of me and my weak heart. You see, out of my six brothers, I fancied his methods the least. Humans are… not cattle to me. They’re small, and weak, yes, but what they excel at is beyond the physical.” He lifts his index finger, tapping over his heart. “It’s here. With every beat. Jesminda embodied that with her every breath. She was better than all of us put together.”
“But that… comes later. I tend to digress when it comes to her.”
The corners of his lips twitch again, and this time, Nesta thinks it's the ghost of a smile come to haunt his melancholy.
“I was starving, and for my kind, hunger is madness. I lunged at her. I was going to drink her dry. I didn’t want to, but there is nothing that can stop us when we are… like that. Or perhaps I am simply a weaker creature. I don’t know how she knew, and she only ever told me that I looked desperate, not evil. She offered me her wrist to drink. I don’t remember letting go, but we both survived the encounter.”
Lucien leans forward, holding his hands out for Nesta’s notebook and pen. She hands them to him without complaint. He begins to draw.
“I loved her, and it was my first time experiencing such a feeling. You cannot truly understand love until you have been truly devoid of it. Anything else is fascination. Affection. Complacency. It was like seeing the sun for the first time and realizing that it does not burn me. It was a drink that could sustain me for the rest of eternity, even in the smallest doses. She was my heart, and every memory of her is a beat in our song.”
He finishes the sketch, handing the notebook back to her. Jesminda is beautiful —a match to his ethereal beauty. Nesta traces her fingers over the lines drawn, etching clearly defining her darker skin tone and long dark hair. Her irises are left clear, likely a pale colour. Are they as sharp as Lucien’s? No, Nesta doubts it. Jesminda has a warmth to her, even in a simple quick portrait drawn by the only soul left to remember her. Was she a vampire, too? Did she choose to stay by his side as long as she could?
“I didn’t have a chance to turn her,” Lucien supplies, and that leaves Nesta even more in awe. 
A human as beautiful as a vampire. A human who’s kindness cleared the haze of Lucien’s meaningless existence. Nesta is careful not to smudge the ink, still tracing her outline as if she could learn more from Jesminda herself. She wants to know what she saw in Lucien, but that is a mystery lost in time, isn’t it?
“I wanted to, believe me, but my father rather enjoys inflicting pain. I do not think he found greater joy than tearing my heart right out of my chest and making me watch.”
Lucien goes quiet for a long, long moment. When he goes still, it’s unsettling. There is nothing natural to it. He might very well be made of marble. 
“I’m so—”
“Save your breath. You’ll see, I’m not worth your pity. Looking back, I think he did us a favour.” He shifts again, peppering in the smallest mannerism tied to humanity. “The story isn’t about her because I don’t think Jesminda would want anything to do with the thing I’ve become. No,” he says to himself. “She’d grieve, I would think. Hm. Yes. She saw something in me that was worth believing in, and my father killed it along with her.”
“I promised a story about a vampire, and you will soon see that the only thing we share in common with you is this mortal plane, and our features. The rest…” Lucien huffs, amused. “Is a fantasy you’ve all made up to cope with the existence of the devils walking among you.”
“I have an amendment to make,” Lucien says, suddenly.
“Oh?” Nesta asks softly, invested in where this is going.
“This more than the story of how I lived, and how I died. This is the story of how I became my father, and it all begins with him. Tamlin. My love, my mate and my greatest sin.”
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aretheyqueer · 15 hours ago
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Is he a trans man?
disclaimer: this is a hc, not speculating on what the writers intentions were.
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reason: He chose his own name and has a very bad relationship with his father who still calls him by his old name
tag: @iwannarunawayandbeapirate
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noornight · 3 months ago
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Long distance besties. This definitely happened after the third movie (source: trust me bro)
Based on this
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