#YEAH SHE DOES
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so does the teal haired girl fuck the key or what is going on there?
You tell me, anon.
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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Maybe God sent me here to love people as much as I could and I shouldn’t care about getting loved back the way I love because it’s special and I’m a special Angel
My love is different, it’s the only one I understand. I was made and put here for a reason I’m sure ^_^
#trying to cope#coping about feeling unlovable#god loves me#at least i think so#yeah she does#i love all of God’s creations#it’s my job#coping coping coping#i just split
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no more fan-ta-sizing about it! everything's already changed~
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#figueroth faeth#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fh class quangle#my! class swap thing! I guess this is like the poster for it now#got overinvested and finished it properly instead of winging it lol#in closeup order: cleric!gorgug; bard!riz; rogue!fabian; sorcerer!kristen; barbarian!fig; artificer!adaine#this one does have the harpoon gun I'd give fabian during sophomore year but literally only figured out for this piece lol#I like how it looks tho Im glad I hashed it out#thinking abt power armor adaine a lot tbh... she has the transhumanist audacity. she's villain-adjacent enough#to attempt unspeakable acts of body improvement#(its funny bc to wear a rig like that would Also demand a certain level of physical strength from you)#also yeah this is the thing with riz holding a megaphone that got me considering#its fun! it fits the aesthetics! maybe it'd grant him range for bardics#maybe he gets to keep that Im just not sure how he'd carry it around lol#fig gets to have all of her makeup... I like almost never remember to draw it usually kdsjfhdjk listen. I just forgor#I always forget makeup is real#also dont ask me what's in kristen's thermos it Is usually tea but you truly never know#sometimes its soup. it can be lighter fluid. soap perhaps. hot chocolate#also if u come knocking on my door abt kristen's somatic in this piece: I wont be home#she gets to be gross especially bc shes funny and 17yo and gay. we give it to her#okay I. whoo I should lay down. finally I can move on to other things#cheers! wahoo. yahha perhaps
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It's funny how opinions can change over time for instance I used to want Bruce to be a good parent but then I realised how fucking boring that is to read at the end of the day comics are soap operas and I'm here for the drama
#dc#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#character development <- for me not for bruce#give that bitch some regression#but yeah i think there is a fine line with bruce and his parenting#like imo he should be trying his best but failing spectacularly at it#all his actions should come from his own fucked up sense of duty#anyway i think ive mentioned this before#but someone just liked one of my really old posts#talking about good parent bruce and how hes important yada yada yada#and reading it made me go#i dont agree with this bitch she does not speak for me >:(#so setting the record straight#.... until i change my mind again lmao
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enough strong bads... time for strong sads (theres still a strong bad here)
[image description: a page of drawings of a human design of strong sad from homestar runner, where she is depicted as a fat, tan-skinned trans woman with gray and brown hair pulled into a bun and multiple piercings. she is wearing a gray sweatshirt, jeans, and steel-toed combat boots, and next to her is a note stating that she is trans and bisexual and that her pronouns are she/they. next to that is a drawing of her smiling and wearing a sloshy t-shirt, and above that is a comic of strong bad poking her in the stomach and saying "even her gender is my hand-me-downs", to which she stays silently angry at him. end id]
#i really like how she came out actually. like Yeah she does look like a depressed 18-24 year old film major#i gave her steel-toed boots to sorta replicate her soolnds. sorta#and under her sweatshirt she does still have a scar from Lil Strong Bad Shenanigans#i wanted the bun to kinda be their weird lil head dollop#i imagine its a pretty loose bun so it flops around#im putting way too much thought into this. i just like strong sad :o]#doc talks#my art#homestar runner#hsr#h*r#strong sad#strong bad
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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he's so mean
#my art#twisted wonderland#twst#oc#twst oc#twst yuu#jamil viper#shiokawa mayu#jamimayu#jamil viper x yuu#yeah this was inspired by that miku trend#i think everyone should draw their yuus/ocs in vocaloid cosplay#jamil voice: what is a hatsune miku#does miku exist in twisted wonderland though#or maybe she goes by a different name like uh#hatsune magiku....#extremely self indulgent joke but mayus (secret) theme colour is mint/teal so i had to#girls when you take their leek#he took everything </3
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[ID: A digital drawing of Anya and Daisuke from Mouthwashing wearing 1960s-70s clothes and smiling on a background of yellow flower doodles. Anya is wearing a striped turtleneck and matching hair scarf, a brown pinafore with matching socks, black loafers, and red cross earrings and 60s style makeup. Daisuke is wearing a green collared shirt with pink flowers on the chest, pink bell-bottoms, and yellow shoes. Anya has one knee lifted and one hand in her hair, and Daisuke is dancing a bit and punching the air, grinning at her. end ID]
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i was already planning to draw at least anya in cute 60s-70s outfits because Fun but then i saw something where allegedly daisuke likes vintage shopping?? therefore buddies thrifting trip?? what if they had fun and nothing bad happened to either of them ever??
#fg's art#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#she's just feeling herself and daisuke is her biggest hypeman#oh yeah and does that meme i posted make sense now aksdjhkakldjh daisuke what are you doing
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10 years in the future for Nanako-chan
#nanako dojima#persona 4#yu narukami#ryotaro dojima#tohru adachi#a little sister... a LITTLw sister. you expect me to not fawn...? to not crumble? ok....#go on. look....... go on. GO ON!!!!! (crazed) (eye twitching) (i like these 4 and nana-chan especially)#hope you like my older design for her...#funfacts i said on twitter so i'll put on tags here:#adachi did his time in jail quick. yu's 27 and still looks the same. pretty bancho#i think nanakos signature color would change from pink to yellow. yu doesn't actually wear any yellow at all in p4g IIRC#but it is a color you associate him with the most. i want nanako to adopt that color. BUUUTTT#for self indulgent's sake she does wear pink to get yu to dote on her more. (reminds him fondly of baby nana-chan)#(AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)#oh yeah and adachi's a hag. i think his fashion is handpicked by yu probaably.#(thinking if i missed anything else) ahhhh........... nanako-chan... return for p6 or something. ok byeee!
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this was scarily in character for Casey and Foot Lieutenant. audio from TTG
#rottmnt#tmnt#rise of the tmnt#rise casey#rottmnt casey jones#casey jones#cassandra jones#rottmnt cassandra jones#rise cassandra#capril#rise capril#rottmnt capril#foot lieutenant#does he have fans#idk#my art#my animatic#rottmnt animatic#i think this is the most in character thing i've done of casey#like yeah she b acting like this in the show#just doing the most#i know this audio could be read as rasey/raphcass#but i don't like that ship#so i captioned it specifically for april#and put a gif of her#that way my intentions are clear#so don't tag as anything else#i'll find you
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I still can't believe that bioware has morrigan tell you a whole story about how as a kid she came upon a girl she thought was so beautiful that it rocked her entire world and awakened new and bewildering longings in her (longings which by their very existence angered and perturbed her mother)... and then they have the temerity to ask me to believe she's straight
#to be fair I can think of many very good reasons in-text why morrigan would not be able to recognize her attraction to women#(or even if she was able to recognize and know her feelings as such why she would not act on it)#the way she's been taught to think of her sexuality only as a tool and her ultimate goal with the wardens etc.#however. you know and I know that's not why she's not romanceable and interesting subtext does not#cover for a multitude of fuckery in this case lol#dragon age#dragon age origins#morrigan#sophia through that whole story: uh-huh. aha. I see. yeah. ...yeah okay
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treasure planet au, last of the batch (Poppy & Floyd)
#dreamworks trolls#trolls#trolls au#trolls poppy#trolls floyd#trolls viva#trolls branch#treasure planet au#these two gave me a bit of a struggle lol#both drawing and deciding their places in this au#so... yeah!! here they are!!#Poppy as first mate!!#well sorta she's still in training#ik she'd make a great Ben haha but i really really wanted them to still be sisters!! and teen poppy would be the cutest!!#She's the biggest divergence this au takes from the og movie#edit: forgot to add that poppy does NOt fall into the black hole#lolol sorry for the scare#oh and also floyds here but also isn't#floyd's not present in this entire voyage rather his absence haunts#he's busy being bottled anyway#he lowkey takes Jim's dad's place#sorry floyd fans (gen)#but floyd was also very sweet big bro before he left so it also made sense for him to take sarah's intro scene.#as you guys can tell being pretty loosey gossey on which troll goes to which tp scene#again thank you guys for your input and ideas!! they're a great help!#so much empty space...#trolls fanart#my art <3#excuse the messiness
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POV you’ve informed the Queen and the Court’s Sorcerer of something and they very clearly know something that they’re not letting on
#hehe just a silly doodle#Gwen’s great at subtlety so would this even happen? debatable#just feel like they’d definitely get up to magical shenanigans post-canon#plus there were enough things in the show that could make a reappearance#Lady Vivian is visiting? Oh no is she still under the curse??? D: *cue mutual looks of alarm*#(it’s okay she’s not. justiceforvivian2024)#but anyway STILL they’d definitely go sneaking around in the vaults or library to find answers to the latest Situation tm#like yeah magic is legal and Guinevere is literally the queen#but that doesn’t stop them from shiftilly snooping!! shiftilly snooping just Happens when ur friends with Merlin#it’s like enrichment for them#ANYWAY yet again I have NO idea what proper anatomy is and I did not use a reference for Merlin and only glanced at one for Gwen so#sorry I cannot do u justice merlin + guinevere </3#my mom once glanced at one of my doodles when I was home and she was like why does Merlin look like a monkey#WHICH WAS KINDA OUT OF POCKET TBH ��😭#but maybe one of these days I’ll actually learn drawing-related things so I can better spread my beloved post canon Merlin agenda#Merlin#Gwen#merlin fanart#bbc merlin#my art#art#merwen#EDIT: fixed up the colouring bc it was bothering meee rip
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If DC was at all smart they would have spent the last two decades marketing Barbara Gordon as THE icon for women in stem and computer science.
They introduced a powerful, cool super heroine whose whole thing is being super smart and being (one of) the best programmer(s) in the entire DC universe in the 80s and they didn't think to capitalise on this?? In a time where there is a large push to get more girls into coding and STEM and many portrayals of the tech industry barely include women (much less as awesome, confident leaders)??
#and that's not even getting started on all she means to the disabled community#but yeah they dropped the ball on this one big time#there is nothing babsgirl does at the moment that can't be achieved by another character#oracle brings so much new things to the table#Barbara gordon#oracle#batfamily#batman#dc
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maybe the kids are alright after all
#dropout#game changer#pencils down#caldwell tanner#the fucking. the girl that they paired nathan with was a highlight she was sooooo good#''oh wow... i mean. it's good but. yeah." go off!!! youre wrong bc everything nathan yaffe does is great but go off!!!
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