#YALL MY WIFE IS GONNA BE ON TV

[venompinks]

LISA ✸ THE WHITE LOTUS SEASON 3

[vanillabat99]

Tagged by @ratgirl-mcsqueakers, decided to make a fresh post since the chain was so long!!

Last Song: "I Love You Like An Alcoholic" by The Taxpayers

Favourite Colour: Pink, Purple, Blue, and Yellow.

Currently Watching: The entire "90 Day Fiancé" cinematic universe.

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: Sweet!!

Last Google Search: "Build-A-Bear Workshop near me"

Relationship Status: MADLY IN LOVE WITH MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE @meteoriteskies !!!!!!!!!!

Current Obsession: My psyduck named Kevin :3

Anyone can reblog and join in ^-^ I love y'all 💕💕💕

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

♡ ring pops, chocolates, proposals ! ♡

katsuki loves you throughout the years.

a/n : BOOM !! surprise extra on your foreheads !!! this is basically a lil extra to rpp from katsu n readers pov ! i thought it was cute n i hope yall enjoy it too <33 !! much luv xx

fem reader, slight anime n manga spoilers ! food (candy and chocolate), jealous katsuki, mentions of dicks bc katsuki calls someone one, katsuki n reader are in their 20s, reader loves rain, katsuki does not, proposal, kissinggg, reader likes romance (implied sligthly), katsuki does not (kinda), soft n emotional katsuki bc I LOVE HIM FIGHT MEEE!!! RAAHHH!!!, short n sweet, proposal, lmk if i missed sum else !! <33

"for you."

katsuki, age 6 stands in front of you. no more words are said from him as he looks off to the side, beet red face turned away from you with outstretched hands. and clutched tightly in his hands, a ring pop in your favourite color.

you beam, immediately taking it from him. "thank you, katsu !" you chirp, quickly popping the candy into your mouth. katsuki's shoulders relax when he sees you've taken the offering from him although he doesn't meet your eye fully just yet.

"do you wanna share ?" you ask sweetly, already reaching out your candy towards him seeing that he didn't have one of his one in hand. he furiously shakes his head, pushing your hand back towards you.

"no ! and this one's for you ! i already got one.." he insists, shoveling around in his backpack before the crinkle of a wrapper grabs both of your attention. he pulls out the bag of sweet ring pops and picks out an orange one for himself. showing it to you while his eyes drift away from yours. you smile, seeing that you can both eat candy together now.

"i-it's a ring. so..you're my wife," he states. your big eyes widen at him and his glowing red cheeks. you look back down at the candy you've been eating pressed around your finger. it's bigger than the rings you see on tv.

you like katsuki. he was a little rough sometimes, and he could be a little mean. but he always played with you and shared his coloured pencils. he'd sit in the reading corner with you and hold your hand when you'd go on field trips.

"oh, really ?" your face heats, he nods. "want you to be my wife, cus haruto's always lookin' at you..a-an' you're my friend. not his." he mumbles bitterly. you like haruto, he's nice to you, but not as much as katsuki. katsuki was your best friend.

"does that make you my husband then ?" katsuki gets red to the tips of his ears and his nose is practically pressed into the collar of his shirt but he nods anyways. you beam again, the taste of the flavoured candy still on your lips. " i like that !"

katsuki blinks at you, chubby little cheeks pulling into a smirk and he drops to sit down next to you roughly on the grass. finally popping his own ring in his mouth.

"then you're my wife, yeah ?" you nod and he grins, you hear the candy clack around his mouth. "means you're only ever gonna be with me." and you nod again happily because you like that, you like the thought of only being with katsuki, because he's your best friend ever.

"mhm !"

"..forever." he adds tentatively and when you nod again he snickers to himself.

wait till stupid deku hears about this.

valentine's day was fucking stupid. and white day was even stupider.

besides them being the corniest holidays ever, katsuki finds the whole concept stupid. why do you need an entire day just to grow the balls to tell someone you like them ? and the worst part is that some fuckers have the audacity to try that shit with you.

katsuki remembers when he'd started despising the stupid holidays. it was in his first year of middle school and you opened up your locker to see some chocolates and a hand written note.

it was cheesy. and fucking stupid. but you smiled about it.

you fucking liked it.

the bastard even had the nerve to walk up to you at the end of the day, when you're supposed to go home with katsuki and end up coming over to his house to do your homework together (so he could stare at you) then stay over for dinner and play some video games (so he could touch you, poke your sides to make you trip up and pinch your nose when you end up losing to him) or watch a movie (so he could hear you laugh)

you were supposed to be all his. but instead you reassure him that you'll be back in a second.

and katsuki's antsy and so annoyed his skin prickles, but he swallows it down and drags his feet towards the gates as he waits, like hell he'll leave you alone with some limp dick bastard.

he did feel better when you said you rejected the loser, and he felt much better when you still ended up spending the afternoon with him. but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

valentine's day and such was so fucking stupid in katsuki's eyes. but maybe you liked it ? you never cared much for romance outside of those stupid rom-coms you like, but maybe there was more to it.

katsuki couldn't admit it to himself then, but he hates the holidays because there's a whole day for him to grow some balls and ask you out. and yet he couldn't fucking do it.

until his first year at u.a. and you hand him a box of chocolates.

dark chocolate, you specified. "since i know you don't really like sweets all that much." you said. the slight tremble in your voice made him swallow harshly. it felt different than the chocolates you'd handed out to your classmates earlier (which he was absolutely not jealous about. at all.) and the sheer size of the box compared to the little baggies you'd handed spoke too.

these were different. these were just for him.

his bag feels extra heavy when he walks home that day, and he's never loved chocolate more than the day you'd made some just for him.

"the chocolates weren't bad." was all he'd texted you (he wasn't sure he'd be able to talk to you properly on the phone that day lest you heard the shakiness in his voice.) but he knew what he needed to do.

and a few months later, white day rolls around and katsuki still thinks it sucks. it's a stupid holiday. but he spent the entire day making these stupid holiday chocolates for you. and his ears burn when he tells you that he only made these for you, because you're the only one he cares about enough to make some stupid chocolates for on a holiday he hates.

and you smile, so bright and pretty and so you. and katsuki feels like he's on top of the world when you shyly kiss his cheek, your hand in his grip on your way home.

he guessed he'll have to tell his mom about this..and maybe think about thanking her.

the day katsuki plans to propose to you, it rains.

and not even regular rain, a fucking downpour.

and due to prior experiences and feelings he’s had since childhood, he fucking hates rain.

but you love it. when you were kids you loved jumping in puddles and during morning time, you were drowsier and more prone to falling asleep when it was raining. when you got older, you'd always gasp happily when it started to rain, even though katsuki scoffed every time you did, mean mugging the window. he'd asked you what you liked about rain every year you were together, because it was cold, it made the ground sloshy and slippery and it made his quirk basically obsolete when he was younger and harder to use the older he got. there was absolutely nothing fun about that. and you'd always tell him the same exact thing.

"i like it 'cus i just do." you'd respond simply. he always raised a brow at you, but let it be. he couldn't change your mind about it and that was it.

with his proposal plans down the gutter, you're cuddling bed. you yawn in his arms, the tapping against the window putting you at ease. katsuki can admit it's not ear grating, but he'd much rather it just—not rain at all. and he wishes that so much more now, stupid fucking rain..ruining his fucking plans to fucking marry you..

"why do you like this shit so much ?" he asks you the question he's been asking you for years now as you lay against his warm chest. he doesn't mean to do it, only realising he's been asking you this practically all his life after the fact. and it makes him realise how long you've been together when you calmly respond the way you always have, cheekily smiling up at him.

you stick your tongue out at him "i like it 'cus i just do."

oh. fuck.

katsuki doesn't know exactly why that sets him off. maybe because the fact you've been together for two decades makes him emotional. maybe it's because throughout all these years your answer hasn't changed and you haven't changed and your feelings haven't changed for him. you still smile up at him, you did when you were kids when he'd asked you to be his wife with those cheap ring pops he'd begged his mom to buy. you did in middle school even when he thought you had a crush on izuku for a while and it made him act in such an embarrassing way he doesn't want to remember it, but he does anyway. you smiled up at him when he'd asked you out with the chocolates he'd spend hours working on, making them perfect for you. and when he'd told you to just move in with him because "you're basically here all the time anyway."

you've always been there, and he's always loved you. since the day you'd mesmerised him so much at six years old he had to talk to his mom about you.

katsuki absolutely fucking hates rain, and he doubts that'll change anytime soon, and it ruined his perfect proposal. but he can't hear the rain in his ears anymore when he abruptly flips you onto your back to kiss you. all he hears in the tiny giggles you let out when he smacks three wet kisses onto your lips before diving in for a longer one. i love you, they say. he can only hear your fingers sneaking into his hair and scratching at his scalp and the happy sigh you let out when he runs his tongue across your lips.

"m'breath stinks," you mumble drowsily, katsuki grumbles, pulling away just far enough to tell you "i don't give a fuck." and diving in again. you squeal in surprise. it's all he hears.

"fuckin' love you." he grunts against your lips, you hum, briefly able to pull away to catch your breath to tell him you love him too, and pulling him closer to you, the rustling of your sheets, yours and his, is all he hears.

"yeah ? you love me ?" he whispers, going to nibble at your ear. he's all over you, pressing sloppy kisses along your neck and you giggle, "mhm, love you." you sigh.

"fuck.." he breathes again, bringing his face back up to yours he presses his forehead to yours "fuck—so," he places another kiss to your lips, he gulps "so marry me."

and then you blink at him "what ?" you breathe heavily, softly chuckling. and the rapid beating of his heart is all he hears, but then your eyes go glossy and you whisper, voice broken and wobbly "..what ?"

he huffs to himself, his hands search for yours and intertwine when he finds them. like the day he'd pulled you over to his mom so he could ask her to let you come over to play at his house. like when you'd offered it to him when he took you to prom and you looked more beautiful than he could ever utter. he wonders how you'd look during your wedding. he's thought about it more times than he can count.

he takes a deep breath, not pulling away "i wasn't supposed to tell you like this, fuckin rain.." he scoffs. "but—fuck, i just—you've always been there, always been with me. since i was a snot nosed fuckin' brat and at times were you shoulda left my ass." he's forgotten the shit he wanted to say, simply blurting out what's on his mind. he feels a little bad, because kirishima had helped him with his speech, but his heart beats too hard to care.

"but m'glad you didn't. m'glad you didn't before and i'm glad you haven't now 'cus i love you so fuckin' much." you let out a giggle mixed with a little sob at his constant nervous cursing and it makes him smile lightly too.

"i know there are times where i've been a pretty shit boyfriend but..but i mean it, y'know ?" he sniffs a bit, and you shake your head "you've never been a shit boyfriend, suki. just a bit of a pain in my ass sometimes," you giggle but your eyes are overflowing with tears. he chuckles and fights back tears of his own with a sniffle again.

"yeah, major pain..but even still i—when i told you i wanted you to be my wife back when we were kids, i meant it. an' when that fuckin loser tried to ask you out on valentines day in middle school, i wanted to knock his fuckin' teeth in." he smirks, and you try to hide your laugh with a gasp "wanted to tell him you were mine."

"you're such a baby. i remember how pouty you were about it."

" i wasn't pouty," he rolls his eyes, his smile doesn't disappear. he wipes away a tear about to roll down your cheek before you can get his your shirt sleeve wetter then it already is "you could've just told me back then," you whisper, holding onto the hand on your cheek and pressing a kiss to his palm. katsuki feels his heart swell.

"i should've told you a lot of shit back then," he laments. he remembers when shigaraki put holes in him and the constant flashes of you on his mind. when he woke up in the hospital and you'd been there and he just couldn't tell you those three words. he'd figured that since you were both alive, he could tell you later when shit was less..messy.

except shit kept getting messier, and then when katsuki blew a hole into his heart he'd wished he could've told you how much he loved you.

but then he had gotten another chance, another chance to be with you. to be the best damn boyfriend in the world like he'd promised you he'd be, to make you happy, and he didn't care if shit got even messier, he didn't care to be scared. when he woke up with his mom and dad, a doctor and you. everything else blurred in his mind and despite your runny nose and your mix of how much you'd missed him and how worried you were but also scolding him on how much of a dummy he was, katsuki couldn't help but smile.

his mom still teases him about how the first words that he'd blurted out after waking up from his operation getting chastised by doctors were "fuck, i love you."

"but, i won't regret not telling you shit anymore. i won't wait any longer either," he kicks out of the sheets, reaching for the lowest drawer of his nightstand to pull out a little red box, grabbing you with him and placing you down right in front of him. he kneels down on one knee, like when he used to tie your shoelaces for you because you didn't know how to, and how he does to this day because 'you want to crack your head against the side walk so bad, but i don't wanna see that shit.'

he grabs your hand, and with a wobbly voice asks you "will you marry me ?"

and finally, katsuki stops hearing his own heart beat and hears the gentle tapping of the rain, still pouring, but it puts him slightly at ease when you nod and squeal out a 'yes !'

<33

[justevelynnnn]

My domestic poolverine hcs

warnings: logan stabs wade (ofc) and a sprinkle of profanity

A/N: i wanna do a part 2 to this but i have no ideas😭 if yall have any ideas lmk 💔 also this is barely proofread and my excuse is that i’m a busy college student

- It took a month for Logan to get used to his new home. It was Althea, Wade ofc, Mary puppins and himself. Full house.

- Logan stayed on the couch that whole first month because Wade and Althea had taken both the rooms already. Some nights he had Mary puppins lay on the couch with him.

- Eventually, Wade and Logan started sharing his bed after Wade begged logan for weeks and days

-Both of them would unconsciously fight over the sheets and bed space over night

- They also would deal with each other’s nightmares :(

- Also Logan snores….LOUD.

- Logan didn’t admit it but it was nice to sleep next to someone that wasn’t a dog or some random person he was fucking. Just someone he could really trust for once. Who had his back and best interest in mind.

- Wade was the cook until Logan showed up

- The first day Logan tried Wade’s cooking he was just like “Nope nope nope” and got up and showed Wade how to really cook

- Another wolverine secret, He was damn good cook

- Ofc, due to the 200 years of living blah blah blah

- So now Logan cooks just about everything for everyone

- Althea was happy she didn’t have to deal with Wade’s horrible food anymore and Wade was happy he had a little house wife that would cook for him when he got off work

- Just kidding…okay maybe…..

- Mary puppins also took some getting used to too

- She would bark and bark and whine for nicepool sometimes

- Wade did his best to comfort her but it wasn’t the same and nothing worked. Not the bones or new toys or silly outfits he bought her.. just nothing

- Logan, however, was okish with dogs so he knew to just let her and make little cooing noises to soothe her

- Wade damn near melted at the sight…it was sooooooo cute! He got Althea to take a picture one day for him while he was at work

- “If you hear Logan calming Mary puppins down again take a picture for me, okay? Very important! Are you listening?”

- Althea was half awake since it was morning before Wade went to work but was just like, okay whatever bye

- The picture was crooked and logan and the dog were barely in the frame.

- It still went on the fridge though!

- And many more pictures on the fridge like…

- Logan sleeping with a permanent marker mustache on his face!

- Andddd Family game night !

- And a crayon picture of Wade, Althea, Logan and Mary puppins

- There we’re also polaroids all over the house of little moments like this and also Laura when she came over

- Wade was really digging this new family thing and so was Logan he just was never gonna say it

- Pranks were also frequent

- Logan Howlett did not do pranks. Not before the x-men, during or after. So his reactions of course were way funnier.

- One was the use of random airhorns by Wade and Althea in the middle of the night, one by each of Logan’s ears as he slept. Logan jumped out of bed slashing the air angrily with his claws, swearing like they were the only words he knew. Althea was a bit more scared than Wade but still found it funny.

- Logan stabbed Wade multiple times after that.

- Another prank was Wade pulling one of those “fake news of the end of the world announcements on tv” things where he got a fake video of a government announcement saying the world was ending and because Logan barely understood technology he fully believed it and was wide eyed and quiet

- Once he started pacing with his arms on his hips Wade could barely keep a straight face

- Finally a super serious and stressed Logan goes, “You think this is fucking funny, mouth?!”

- Wade died.

- He never laughed this hard in his life. He almost ran out of air and his sides actually hurt a bit but of course healed quickly.

- Logan still didn’t get it just crossed his arms in confusion. When Althea told him Wade pranked him yet again, he threw Wade through the wall and Wade fell to the bottom floor. Ouch. But so worth it.

- When Wade came back upstairs Logan cussed him out but Canadian style because he was that mad which killed him again and he just fell back down somehow

- Random tickle fights would happen but not a lot because when Wade got to Logan he would get stabbed as Logan laughed uncontrollably

- Althea would also hate it but would laugh at least in the beginning and then start hitting wade in the face when she had enough

- Only mary puppins liked it and that’s cause she thought she was getting pets

- Laundry day was also interesting

- Wade barely did laundry on the account of working and “fighting crime” and also because he hated doing chores

- Althea couldn’t see so even when she tried to fold clothes they’d be sloppy and put in the wrong places and just no

- So logan had to step up for that too

- And surprise surprise things would be folded so neat and clean

- Sometimes though when laundry day approached but clothes were running low the two men would just share clothes

- Never boxers even if Wade insisted over and over and over

- But shirts most of the time

- So sometimes Logan’s just in a ridiculous shirt of Wade’s

- Sometimes it’s the one with the words “two seater” with the arrows pointing up and down

- Sometimes it’s a pink shirt that is like too tight?

- They also share pants, socks and pajama pants but though they each only have like 5 pair of each cause yknow…men..

- But all of the silliness and randomness that is moving in with Wade Wilson aside, Logan adjusted nicely, loving his new home and family ❤️

[the1975attheirverybest]

Queen of hearts

Acknowledgements and Disclaimers: this one goes out to all the moms out there. New moms. Experienced moms. Mom-to be. Yall are heroes man. All the love.

Shout out to the mutual who helped answer my pregnancy questions. Thanks for letting me pester you. You know who you are. Any mischaracterizations of pregnancy, labor, or postpartum are completely my own.

Warnings: brief depictions of labor. Mentions of depression. Also not proof read.

***

9 months had flown by like a dream. The whole thing had felt like a movie. And Matty, having made a career out of making life feel like a movie, was wary of the whole thing. Of course they’d had their ups and downs. Worrying over what constitutes a good parent and whether they were going to fuck this child up before it even had a chance to grow up and make its own mistakes. The occasional shock over how powerful and real hormone fluctuations can be. The Braxton Hicks scare. The late night cravings and the crying (some of which was done by him, if he’s being honest). Arguing over baby names, if the kid should be allowed to play football before a certain age lest they get injured. If, being the child of artists meant that the child would be sign up for music and art lessons, or if they would wait and see what the kid naturally gravitates towards. If gender-neutral clothing was inherently boring and lifeless, or, if it was ‘too woke’ to have a baby girl in a car onesie or a baby boy is a butterfly onesie. It was, after all, a pregnancy, not a walk in the park. But he’d loved and welcomed every bit of it. And so had Jo. He’d swelled with joy watching her nest and acquire baby clothes, paint the nursery, and start a vintage stuffie collection. He’d helped her curate a little library of children’s books for kids of all ages, to make sure their baby would be guaranteed a great start, no matter how advanced they turned out to be (Jo and Matty, were, of course, convinced that their child would be a genius). Looking back, even the labor and delivery process seemed perfect.

Jo had screamed at him the whole day.

“We can’t actually go to the hospital just yet. I called. The front desk woman told me to stay put and put on some yoga music.”

Jo had unleashed a string of obscenities upon him that he has chosen to omit from memory ( he remembers them perfectly. She had asked him if he was a demented fucker or if he would like this baby to come out or a teeny tiny hole in his penis instead). He had laughed, told her that she was funny and that he was falling in love with her all over again. She’d thrown the tv remote at his head, missing narrowly.

His gravest mistake, however, was trying to document everything. He’d brought a film camera into the delivery room, which the nurses had balked at. But Matty has been used to being called eccentric so he didn’t care. He wanted to remember every single moment of this day forever. And, when Jo had failed to convince him by making the same arguments that he often proposed at his own shows, for his own fans to put the camera away and just be in the moment, she’d decided to teach him an lesson by choosing not to warn him about the messiness of childbirth. The next thing she heard him say was “oh. So much blood.” Before he’d dropped the godforsaken camera to the floor, smashing it to bits. And ridding everyone of its evils forever.

“Oh my god, she’s here, Jo! I can see her head!” He’d rushed over to her, with tears in his eyes, squeezing her hand. “C’mon, Jo. You’ve got this! One more push.”

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. It’s too much. I just- she’s gonna have to stay in there forever.”

“‘fraid we can’t do that, Josephine” the doctor shook her head. “She’s almost out which means it’s tight on her now, if you don’t push, you’re hurting her.”

Jo instantly burst into tears.

“No, no, no! Baby don’t cry!” Matty cooed, then turned towards the doctor. “Why the fuck would you say something like that to her? Right now, as well! are you TRYING to upset my wife right in the middle of the birth of my child?” He hovered over Jo protectively, wiping her sweaty forehead with one of the rags that the nurses had brought in, and kissing her. “You’re okay, Jo. Our baby is going to be okay. Deep breaths, yeah?”

“You promise?” She whispered, too embarrassed for the nurses and doctor to hear.

Matty swears, this, was the moment that he became a dad. Knowing that his wife and child needed him to be the sane and steady one for the first time completely changed him as a person.

Though he had no business making these promises, he’d never felt more certain of anything in his life. “I promise, my love. I’ve got you. And you’ve got our baby. She really needs you right now. So….lets do this, yeah?”

Jo nodded, watching the nurse approach and take her hand to pull her back into position.

“C’mon,love. One more push?” The matronly lady encouraged.

Jo screamed as she gave it her all, Matty’s hand in hers.

“Great! You’re doing great, Josephine! Give me one more push!” The doctor smiled.

“You said that last time! Every single time you say this is gonna be the last push! You’re fuckin lying.”

With tears in her eyes, Jo screamed and cussed out everyone in the room, pushing with all her might, until finally, the baby was out. She heard cheering and congratulations erupt around the room which was her cue to lay back and finally relax.

“Dad, Would you like to do the honors? cut the umbilical cord?” The nurse had asked.

“Oh? I- erm I …should. But I don’t wanna leave you? But also I don’t wanna leave���her- I….” Years later, Matty would realize that it was, in fact, this moment, that had made him into a dad. The moment that he felt conflict between choosing to stay by Jo’s side and hold her hand through what she had just accomplished , or let go of her hand to go meet his daughter instead.

“Go, Matty, go.” Jo had encouraged him, her voice weak from screaming. She nodded as he hesitantly loosened his hold on her hand.

“Let’s fuckin do this!” His shaky hands took the surgical scissors from the doctor and made the cut. “Oh my fuckin god, hiiii” matty cried as he met his daughter for the first time. He almost reached out to take her into his arms but, then, realized that it should be Jo who gets to hold her first.

“Would you like to-“

“Yes, oh god, yes, please?” Jo sat up straight.

Matty, with fresh tears still running down his cheeks, leapt into action adjusting her pillows to support her back as she leaned forward to receive her child.

“Oh god, Matty, look. She’s so….”

“Perfect.”

Everything, about Sophia, from conception to birth, had been perfect. So, it was a complete shock to Matty (and to Jo) when things changed postpartum.

It all started with Jo sleeping in a bit more than usual. At first, Matty had written it off as her body recovering from labor. After all, she’d literally housed, sheltered, and built a human being from scratch for 9 months. She was entitled to a little bit of extra sleep if that’s what she needed. Besides, he saw this as his opportunity to step in. While Jo was pregnant, Matty felt limited in how much help he could be. He flew back and forth in between tour dates to be at doctors appointments, and to help purchase the crib and pick out the nursery colors. He drove across the country to make it to specialty bakeries and shops to fulfill the strange flavor combinations of pregnancy cravings. But none of it was comparable to literally being pregnant. So, it was only fair that he take on some of the work now that the child was born, and let Jo get her rest.

He wanted to be the best dad he possibly could. So, he dove in head first. And he missed the signs. It wasn’t until he was holding Sophia in his arms, looking at Jo, as she laid in bed, saying “it’s a baby, Matty. All it does is cry and sleep. What does it want from me?” That he realized something was deeply wrong. By then, it was too late.

Matty walked around the messy house, eyes blood shot and sore. Whether it was the crying or the lack of sleep, he wasn’t sure. He went into the kitchen, pulling out a massive trash bag and hauling in all the empty takeout containers that had been sitting there all week, shoving them all into the trash bag. He needed to step up his housekeeping game. At this rate, they’ll be living in squalor by the next few days.

He pulled the only clean mug left out of the cupboard and reached for the coffee machine that had been on since this morning, pouring himself a cup.

“Fuckin hell.” He whispered at nothing in particular. What time was it? What day of week or month even was it? He tapped his phone screen for answers. It was a Wednesday in the middle of the month. Just shy of noon. He knew that the best thing he could possibly do for his family right now would be to admit that he’s in over his head. And ask for help.

***

“Where is she now?” Adam asked, stirring the sugar into Matty’s tea before placing the mug in front of him.

“home. Erm….the cleaning service is working on the house. Her mom is there, too, to watch Sophia while she showers and stuff, so….”

Adam nodded, at a loss for words. He squeezed Matty’s shoulder gently.

“What do I do? How do I fix this?” Matty’s eyes darted between Adam and Carly, who wizzed around the kitchen, preparing dinner, with her son at her feet.

“You can’t fix it, mate.” Adam shrugged. Sheepishly.

“I know; I know. But- what do I do?”

Adam simply rubbed his friends back, searching his brain for any words of solace or wisdom.

“Matty, have you eaten anything today?” Carly asked, with her back to him, standing at the stove and stirring something that Matty couldn’t quite see.

He was offended by the question. He’d come to her with the biggest problem he’s ever had to face and her response was to ask if he was hungry? Speechless and indignant, he shook his head. “I have not. No.” He gritted, anger palpable in his voice.

Carly knew better than to take it personally.

***

Carly and Adam exchanged a look. Adam nodded, rising to his feet and taking his child from between his mother’s legs. “C’mon, little man. It’s time for bed. Let’s get into the bath. Give mummy and uncle Matty a bit of time to chat.”

Carly walked over to Matty at the dining table, setting down two huge containers in front of him. “This one’s soup. This one’s chicken and veg. Take them home. Freeze the leftovers and defrost as needed.”

“Carly, I-“

“Comfort food is good. For both of you.” She smiled brightly. “She won’t have an appetite but keep offering it to her anyway.”

“Right.”

“I’m gonna send you a list. Maybe pop into the shops on your way home and buy some of it. Baby cream, nipple pads, stuff like that.”

Matty nodded, dutifully.

“I’ll speak to Patricia and Charli and everybody. We’ll start a rotation. Check in on her and- maybe even send you off to the store a few times. There are just some girl things that she might not have on. Just some bits and bobs to make her life easier.”

“Hmm. Yeah. I suppose.”

“Matty, darling, you know who you need to speak to here. Who she needs to speak to. And it isn’t me, and it isn’t Adam, or George, or Ross, or even a doctor who will rattle off some statistics at her. Why haven’t you done it yet?”

***

Carly was right. Matty knew the person for the job. The reason that he hadn’t called his mom yet was because he was ashamed. Ashamed to admit, in front of her, that he had failed. He’d failed his wife. Failed his kid. Failed to do what he claimed his mother’s struggle had taught him. Failed to be patient, failed to be empathetic. He expected too much from her and he resented her when she wouldn’t rise to it. And he hated that about himself.

But his mom was always there. All he needed to do was call her and say “mum, I need you.”

Denise rushed over.

“Oh, matty, it’s okay.” She placed her hand over his. “It’s different when it’s your partner, isn’t it?”

“Why, though? It shouldn’t be! It’s not like she’s any more or less of a person, a woman, or a mother than you were when you had me!”

Denise rolled her eyes. They both knew Matty was smarter than this. “Yeah, but that doesn’t matter, does it? You were 17 when I told you about my depression. It had been 17 years. You’d seen me differently. And you knew I loved you because you’d felt it your whole life. You were only finding out about that stuff after the fact. This is not the same. Besides, the way that you feel about your partner is not supposed to be like the way that you feel about your mother, or if it is then I haven’t done my job raising you right.”

Matty frowned and licked his lips, searching his brain for a clever comeback.

“You feel like you’ve been abandoned. Like she’s left all the parenting on you and you’re trying your best but she’s not giving you much to work with.” Denise simply stated.

Matty laughed in disbelief. “That’s absurd. She hasn’t abandoned me.”

“Course, she hasn’t. She’s got an illness, she’s not a bad mother. But that’s what it feels like. And that’s okay. You’re allowed to be scared. You’re a new father too. You’ve got no idea what you’re doing and you want to be able to do turn to her but you can’t.”

“I- “ matty turned tongue-tied. Unsure how to respond. It made him uncomfortable to have his unspoken thoughts said out loud for him. “did dad ever…?”

“I don’t know. You’d have to ask him. I didn’t really speak much to him at the time. Sort of….blamed him for it, actually. A part of me felt like, somehow, he had done this to me or something.”

Matty listened, wondering if Jo felt that way about him.

“In fact, why don’t you go do that right now. Call him round. I’ll get upstairs and check on Jo.”

***

Tim left Matty flipping through old photo albums and went to answer the door, smiling wide and proud when he was met with Louis at his brothers doorstep. “You’re joining the crew?”

“You didn’t think you’d have a party without me and I wouldn’t find out about it, did ya?” Louis winked. “Nah, mum called. Said to come to Matty’s instantly.”

“Get in there!” Denise appeared behind them. “And don’t call it a party that’s insensitive.”

She shut the door, beckoning both men to huddle in the corner with her.

“We’re all here for one thing and one thing only.” Denise spoke with the command of a military officer issuing orders . “To watch the baby for the next two days. We work in shifts. Louis, you’re young and still have your back. You’ll take the overnight shift. Tim you start now. I’ll step in between you two.”

The two men exchanged a smile, nodding.

“And if you want to be here off the clock, you are not a houseguest. You don’t just sit sound and expect to be catered to. Consider yourself a contributing member of the household. Roll up your sleeves and see what needs doing around here. Let’s give them some time and room to figure out what Jo needs.”

***

Matty felt his heart shatter into a million pieces inside his chest when he walked into their bedroom and saw Jo, hugging the duvet, with tears in her eyes.

He rushed over to her, but as he reached for her hand, he recalled all the times that he’d tried to initiate any form of physical intimacy over the last few weeks —a hug, a cuddle, a kiss, sex— only for her to turn him down. He pulled away, hesitant, and not wanting to pressure her into anything. He wasn’t sure if these attempts were his way of trying to comfort her or if it was himself who needed the comforting. He would never think that he could possibly understand what she was going through, but, he couldn’t deny that he needed her, too. So much so that he was certain a simple touch from her would bring him to his knees.

“Jo, Darling,” he whispered, “fuck. You have no idea how much I wish I could kiss you right now.“

Jo blushed as if it were the first time that he had ever looked at her that way.

“Your mom- Denise, she…well, she and I talked. I don’t think I’m okay, Matty.”

He sat on the bed, looking at her. She was a shell of the person that he’d fallen in love with. “It’s alright, baby-“

“How can it be alright? I’m a mother! I- I’m a danger to my own child. When I should be her first and fiercest protector!” Jo yelled, sobbing into her own hands.

The sound of her crying was worse than a knife to Matty’s chest.

“Well, it’s a good thing she’s got me, then, isn’t it?” Matty pulled her into his lap, laying her head against him.

“I love her…” Jo tried to convince herself of her own words “ I want to love her.”

“Course, you do, Jo. You’re just not able to feel much of anything right now. Because of what you’re going through. But, we’ll fix it. I promise. We will.” He planted a kiss to her head “I’m sorry, honey. I’m really sorry I let it get this bad.”

“Matty, it’s not your fault-“

“No, it is. I- I thought that I was being a good dad by prioritizing Sophia over you. I thought it was what I was supposed to do. I thought it was what was best for us all.” She felt Matty’s tears dripping down onto her hair. “But it’s you, Jo. You’re what’s best for all three of us. Sophia and I need you. We’re nothing without you.”

Jo wished she had the will or capacity to comfort him, to want to hold her daughter in her arms. She knew it must be difficult on him, and she hated being a source of his pain.

“I’m sorry, Matty-“

“No!” She felt him stiffen. “Don’t. Don’t apologize. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, you hear me? You’re not alone. Neither are Sophia and I. Look how many people it took to get us to talk” he giggled at the thought. “Look how many people love you and want to support you.”

He saw the beginnings of a smile on her face. “Carly has practically started a catering business trying to feed us. You should see our kitchen. It’s never been this stocked up even when we’re both at home.”

Jo let out a small chuckle, the first since Sophia was born.

To Matty, that small sound was like finding water in the middle of wandering the desert.

***

Matty walked up and down room at the pace that he had discovered was most comfortable for baby Sophia to nap. He rocked her gently in his arms whispering, “you’re gonna be a sweet quiet girl yeah? Look at mommy. She’s so pretty when she’s asleep next to your crib, don’t you think, Soph? You take after her, that’s for certain. Let’s go get mommy a blanket, yeah? Shall we? Look at you! Taking care of mommy already. Bestest baby in the world, you are.”

[jiminiepabo]

BTS As Your Best Friends

I was feeling inspired by my BTS As Your Boyfriend series, and I wanted to give yall a cute little friend moment! 💕

Comtains: Fluff, that's about it lmao

This is only with the maknaes, but the others will come soon!

°+~♡~+°

Jungkook-

THIS MAN....

Devious asf 💀💅

He actually will not shut his fucking mouth, bro will call you up at 4 in the morning to talk to you about how his day went

Lowkey invites himself to your place unapologetically

Very juvenile, in a good way. Like sleepovers with snacks and movies and pillow forts

THE GOSSIP KING 👑

And he will fill you in on all the bangtan tea

He's the type to make pinky promises not to tell after he talks hella shit abt someone 💀

Not that he talks hella shit that much, but the occasion that it happens, expect a lot to come out of his mouth.

Very good listener tho, if you actually have an issue, he's gonna be there for you

Definitely tells you way too much about his dating life...

He also falls asleep on you, so get used to it. he's an affectionate bitch, what can he say? And with all the sleepovers yall are having, he can't help it

Okay but tell me why I think he'd love playing hair salon with you 👀

One of his downsides as a friend is that he's a fucking celebrity and has a shit ton of other people to interact with and other places to go

So don't expect too much from the poor guy, he's got a lot on his plate.

Recently we found out that he vapes, so he for sure needs a vape buddy

ALSO

He is SO GOOD at dating advice

Whoever you're into, he will be right there planning your wedding on a pinterest board.

Expect lots of singing in the car

In all, jaykay is fucking hyper but he's a great bestie to have

Taehyung-

Tae is your deep ass convo kinda guy

Like yeah, he's fun asf, but damn he's just built to talk about deep shit with you

If any of these friendships are likely to turn into relationships, it's gonna be with Tae

He just loves love 😭

And honestly, as he should

And I'm not saying that you return the feelings, but you are the one reading a Bts imagine on tumblr... 🤷‍♀️

Besides the fact that he lowkey has a crush on you, you'll probably be at his house more than your own

I can see him just talking and talking for hours on end with his bestie while you chill on the couch with a TV show playing in the background

Probably has a cute nickname for you

Like if you're short, he calls you shorty. And if your cute, he calls you cutie.

IDK MAN IM BAD AT THIS 💀💀💀

But he'll come up with something cute

Your contact name in his phone will probably be something along the lines of "my wife" or "wifey"

Or smth stupid like that just bc he likes you 💀

And he won't tell anyone either, he just unironically talks about you all the time, nothing suspicious 👀

Expect chaos when he's drunk tho

He goes WILD

It's fun though, seeing him being smiley and not contemplating the complexities of life to you

Your man is weird asf but you gotta love him

Jimin-

Someone needs to calm him down and give him a massage or smth

Because when I tell you...

JIMIN IS THE FLIRTIEST HOE EVER

He doesn't even like you, it's just jimin being jimin

Very sweet tho 🥺

He seems kinda awkward about giving advice bc he doesn't know exactly what to say, but he'll listen really good

Also, no offense to jimin, but he's a mess.

He's so caring that he likes someone new every other day istg

And he'll tell you all about it and it's the cutest thing ever watching him have so much love for so many people

May or may not have mid-life crises during the night and come over to drink alcohol and pour his heart out to you

He's a people pleaser so be a good friend and encourage him or compliment him a lot

He will most likely flirt with you in return but it secretly makes him feel reassured so just take one for the team

Probably will give you fashion advice tbh

And he's an icon so you let him do his thing

I think he'd like doing things like drawing or painting or dancing as an activity with you

Like it's fun to do, but it's quiet enough for him to talk about his problems

This is so sad but I feel like he projects a very happy image but he doesn't always feel it inside

He may struggle with self image and dependence on others

So he needs you to be his anchor to hold him down and tell him he'll be alright

And he'll do the same for you, don't worry.

°+~♡~+°

Hope you enjoyed! The hyung line version is coming soon! 💕

My requests are open 😘

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Yallllll last night a met my new enemy… ROPE TWISTS

Story time: I love doing my hair, my brother’s hair, just hair for fun. So when I asked this little boy (he’s 18) what style he wanted next, he said Rope Twists. I said no, I didn’t think I had the right tools for it, it looked kinda hard, I just wasn’t sure I could successfully get the style right.

But he really wanted them and he don’t go to no one else to do his hair. So… I went to TikTok University 😂

After debating with myself over it for a week. I agreed to do the style for him during Thanksgiving Break (rn).

THEN when this break had barely begun he was on my ass about getting his hair done, and he hadn’t even washed it yet! (I used to wash it for him, but now he handles it in the shower.)

I told him on Monday I’d do it on Tuesday as long as he comes to me with a washed head.

So yesterday (Tuesday) this little negro walks up to me at 1 PM with head of unwashed hair and says “You’re gonna do my hair, today.”

I asked the obvious question. “Did you wash your hair?”

He looks at me indifferently. “No. I’m gonna go make eggs.”

Ya girl was already stressed about doing the damn twists, now I gotta deal with this sassy boy. Hell no.

10 FUCKING PM comes around and he walks up to me fresh out the shower and says, “So you’re gonna do my hair. Should I get your supplies?”

I look up from the nice juicy story I’m writing, all bundled up on the couch. “You waited all damn day! I could’ve been done by now!”

He shrugs. NEGRO PLEASE!

I told him to get my supplies and put something on the TV.

He proceeded to fight with the TV because his stupid universal remote app wasn’t working and he didn’t bring me everything I asked for.

I was not getting up, so I told him to just sit his ass down.

Fast And Furious:

Best damn parting job I’ve ever done, clipped each section to perfection, hair moisturized and detangled.

Then I picked up my comb and proceeded to cuss out his goddamn hair. I WAS STRESSED! It was not looking good AT ALL. I was trying to get a good angle, thinking back to those videos, absolutely hating my life.

It took me half that goddamn move to get 4 done. I wanted OUTTTTT. I was giving him warnings, mentally preparing to just start braiding it. But I kept going. And a bitch found her rhythm.

I was finally doing good, but then I had to work with this tired ass 18 year old who would not move his head/ KEPT moving his head. Yall if that movie wasn’t keeping me sane, I would’ve turned it off.

2 Fast 2 Furious:

Finally half way thru and I’m just moving this boy’s head and making him turn his whole damn body.

(Break time.)

I start back up and my thumb is burning and it’s stinging real bad. I check my finger and bitch that dumb ass comb I got had cut me. I almost broke that shit in half. I switched to a rat tail comb and prayed for it to work. I was pissed off when it did a better job that that other one😒

Then I sat on one of my metal clips and didn’t notice because apparently I’m just used to being in pain.

By the end of that movie (which is phenomenal btw), I only had 5 left. Two rows in the from and one on the other side (redoing the first one lol).

My back was aching, I was tired, I just wanted to write and relax, this shit needed to be over soon.

My Wife And Kids:

A bitch powered through it and got them done before the first episode was over. 👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾👏🏾🙌🏾

In Conclusion, I AINT GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN. (by then end, it really wasn’t that bad lol) But he better not ask me for that style and stress me out like he did!

Fuck that damn “twisting comb”, fuck rope twists and fuck that couples therapist on My Wife and Kids.

A/N: My cats spoiled as fuck, like bitch let me use my phone I’ll give you all the attention you want. Also someone tell me this girl to stop standing on my chest!🥲

[hausofmamadas]

MURDER HUSBANDS | Wind them up and watch them go (love letter to NBC’s Hannibal)

♫ To the tune of Climbing Up the Walls by Radiohead (with overture by Bruno Battisti D’Amario) ♫

✧

Wow

So I feel like I say this every time. But Mary mother of god, this was a behemoth. By a mile the hardest vid I’ve ever made joke’s on me bc I’m the fucking crackerjack who decided to tack on an whole ass other song as an overture bc why in the name of all cocks would I decide to make anything easy like it’s funny bc I always have an impression of how easy a vid is going to come together when I get the idea, right. And this duo with this song just pbj. So ngl I thought the shit was gonna edit itself. But guess what yall? Radiohead like … makes some intricate, complex-sounding shit stunning revelation, almost as if that’s what they’re fuckinfjsbs known for

HOWMEVER, the day has come, it’s arrived and I’ve looked at this thing for so long now, I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, cannot tell if it’s good anymore. My last vid, I took a long break so by the end, I had enough time away from it to remember it was at least good. This? This could be visual gobbledygook, mush for your eyes, the equivalent of that shit brown shade you get when you mix too many water colors together.

But likehopefully it’s not and you can pls enjoy this love letter to one of the greatestqueer romances in modern media, which is a bold statement whatever fight me but I can’t think of a queer ship before this in tv/movies where the romance unfolds like any other hetero relationship and queer identity isn’t the focus, which even though I think is important, lbr there’s more to gays than being gay. Like it’s kinda visionary, despite the fact that neither character is explicitly queer, when it becomes clear that they’re in love with each other, no one, in-universe, is pearl-clutching all: EGAD! But Will’s never been with 😱a man😱 before?? How in THE DICKENS could he be in love with Hannibal when I don’t have definitive proof he’s even touched tips with another man let alone been balls deep!!!!!!!! How dare he not have this big, gay awakening for us all to gawk at applaud for!!!!” ?

No, literally every character: Jack, Alana, Bedelia, Margot, Mason, even Will’s wife god bless I cannot remember her name but she deserved better *shakes fist at Will* etc., all acknowledge the transcendent romantic bond btwn them and no one questions it. Well, no one questions it thru the lens of performed queerness. Tbf ppl had a lotta questions about the like probable impending multiple murders which validsisjwh

These are just 2 ppl who’re in love with each other to the point of being uncontrollably homicidal Which like … goals? Like I’ve really wracked my brain and can’t think of another queership that unfolds like every other hetero ass love story. That is to say, where fluidity is more the default, at least to the extent that no one talks about the orientation of either players within the show’s universe. Regardless of whether Bryan Fuller intended that from the start which tbh I don’t think he did but I also don’t think it’s fair to call it queerbaiting. I think he let the story unfold and realized kinda with the rest of us that this was a magical!realism romance and not a crime procedural and by S3 leaned tf into it doesn’t really matter bc the universe in which these two exist to truss each other up like Christmas turkeys aka foreplay symbolizes so much more to me than whatever it was initially invented to be. And if it’s not art, folks, idk what is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ofc I mean the show is art, not the vid. Vid=potential gobbledygook

✧

✧

taglist: @tofuwildcard @narcolini @ashlingnarcos @drabbles-mc

[hakkiest]

my cousins white gringa wife put some weird top hits playlist on shuffle on her spotify on the TV and yall some of these songs are weird theres this one calledim gonna be (500 miles) amd the cover is two white dudes yelling

[hertwood]

dts s2 e8-10

ep8: -this is cool to watch with the context of nico back in f1 today -theres just something so funny about when drivers get told something they dont wanna hear over the radio and its just dead silence. theyre real for that tho -nico/cyril jet "therapy" conversation is so iconic TO ME -i now know how alain prost is yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy -i think both of daniel's one year teammate tenures (nico & estie) are both sooooooooo interesting. ship wise fascinating. underrated as hell. -neurodivergent daniel propoganda "nico huuuuuulkenburg" is 100% a vocal stim -ESTIE my beloved. the original Toto Wolff's Special Lil Guy™ -no its so nice to see him in this gap where it was all up in the air knowing how much he's cemented his place in formula 1 now. (like i KNOW that alpine is a shitshow rn but he could easily find another seat. even if not he's made his mark :) -this makes me excited to see nico in the new season. he makes pretty good tv and it'll be cool to see how much of that has changed with age! -another narratively well done episode. nico's only episode and a wonderful one. i also noticed the music a lot, i think they way they used music to build tension was rly cool and not something i've noticed in general. really really good episode

ep9: -"george, i think, is a one-in-a-million driver" claire i LOVE U. ur brain is so big and correct -hes such a BABY here -i really really need a return of a williams focused episode next season. badly -claire you are so strong and brave for surviving this shitshow i dont know how yall did it -i wish this episode was put earlier in the season, i dont know why they didnt? since it focuses a lot on preseason/testing drama why is it episode 9? i know its never perfectly chronological but they couldve at least tried

ep10: -the pierre v alex narrative is so silly when clearly red bull sees them as disposable. like babes neither of you are EVER gonna be enough because youre not max :/ like 2 women fighting to be the favorite mistress of a man who will NEVER leave his wife!!!!! -"if [mclaren] continue this trend, they could be competing with the likes of red bull, possibly ferrari and mercedes for podiums" i just love a good quote that ages well. thank you will buxton -this sebchal crash is SO canada 2010 sebmark coded TO ME -the dread that filled my body when i realized. oh this is the lewis stops alex from getting a podium episode. pain incoming -seeing how happy pierre is abt the podium is So Nice knowing whats coming!!! (monza 2020) he deserves everything -while i dont particularly like carlos i think this first podium story/celebration is so cool and i'm so glad netflix were there to immortalize it -oh my god the "what about everyone else?" placard cracks me up every time aldkjfslkdfjalksdjflksfjd -pre teammate dando crumbs make me INSANE wuv them -"i think they ignored me the whole year, so [Netflix] can fuck off." Dany is barely in drive to survive ever BUT WHEN HE IS he serves cunt 😘 -lewis almost being eaten by an automatic door is an ICONIC dts moment it makes me INSANE every time i watch its so fucking funny -talkin abt how 2020 silly season is gonna be crazy bc most drivers are out of contract; thinkin abt how this year is gonna be the same 😬 -long hair lance my beloved

and thats a wrap!!! on to season 3!! (i'm 3 episode behind 😬)

[irlactualhuman]

Flattered. @pestisly @black-eyed-seas

Last Song: I was singing some gospel nonsense in the car (voice training and I know... probably hundreds of them by heart. Don't judge. How we are raised only matters in the reflection of who we become.) Last I listened to... I think it was Etta James. Forget which.

Fav Color: Orange. It's both passionate and creative.

Last movie/TV show: I caught up on Breaking News on Dropout last night. Fucking belly laughed a few times. I needed that.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Savory/Spicy girl. Italian, Mexican, and Mediterranean are my favorite flavor profiles. V similar, but with distinct differences. Fucking love me an olive or two. Or a bottle of them...

Relationship Status: Trans Girl Dating Hell(tm) Its... not complicated. Very simply, really. My ex wife and I are laughing on the surface, but both equally frustrated for inverse reasons. She's looking for sex and getting a whole bunch of folks tryna catch feelings. I'm tryna catch feelings and finding only chasers. Ugh.

Last thing I googled: Shakespeare's Sonnets. I shitpost poetry and prose from time to time. Or godawful raps. Or terribly mangled showtunes. Yall still sleep on Gaston, lose no sleep for Gaston, gonna hard-core regret missing out on Gaston!

Current Obsession: A minecraft build I started last weekend. Build a mountain-side villa. Might turn it into an estate. Also voice acting and training!! I got range!

Tag some folks: @gingertomcat @ginny-erinschild @caxycreations @wysteria-vines @xx-milfslayer-xx @bunnygirlwhore @samreich (for shits and giggles. Hmu and ill send you my portfolio! Horribly solicited, I apologize, but a girl gotta try.)

Nine people I'd like to get to know better

Tagged by @meghawhopp <33

Last song: Down by the River by Borislav Slavov from the Baldur’s Gate 3 Soundtrack (or more specifically the cover of Down by the River by Nerissa Ravencroft)

Favorite color: Blue and purple!

Last movie/TV show: Seinfeld, I’m currently on season four!

Sweet/spicy/savory?: I have a huge sweet tooth, so sweet things

Relationship status: Single

Last thing I googled: I searched up the show “Arthur” because I was trying to find that one meme where Buster was like “You really think someone would do that, just go on the internet and spread lies?”

Current obsession: Fragaria memories and tears of themis mostly^^

Tag Nine People: @kyaruun @xinieeee @deadmansbistro @florapot @hunita812 @scuffle-with-spirals @rexonalapis @maxellera @manicpixiedoomedgirl

[bemylord]

ꜱ/ᴏ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴄʟɪɴɢʏ

characters: satoru, itadori, megumi, toji, nanamin, sukuna.

warnings: it's not an angst, but it has triggers because they screamed at you :( [toji and sukuna parts bc yall know those man] + grammar issues. [aged up?]

butler's remark: it was hard to write yuuji, megumi and gojou parts bc they are good and sweet boys and i practically cry. i also had decided to do as a hdc not in the fake text. i did a reader with a strong character.

apologies part.

ɪᴛᴀᴅᴏʀɪ ʏᴜᴜᴊɪ:

pls no. i can't even imagine that yuuji would scream to you or say you're bothering him.

but, okay, that's why you're reading this.

you just wanted a piece, a little bit, some, of yuuji's attention while he was training.

you came to him from behind, wrapping hands around his neck.

you were happy to finally see and hug your boyfriend, planning to spend an evening watching some tv-shows.

suddenly, yuuji turned to you, and instead of the usual: 'sweetie, i'm so happy to see you let's watch the tv or eat ramen!'

he answered: 'i'm busy, y/n, let's talk later.'

being busy by doing something is totally normal.

but he could at least said you not cold as that. he turned around his body, continuing to do the same thing.

'but i missed you, yuuujiii~' you stretched out [?] his name in a smile, clinging to his shoulders again.

'can you not being clingy y/n, i'm trying to train. give me some space, you're starting to annoy me!'

you were standing there with doe eyes - he had never screamed at you.

'yeah? whatever, itadori. i'm gonna cuddle with megumi-kun, good training.'

you left the room with tears in the corner of your eyes. you'll give the space that yuuji had mentioned - you won't be talking with him for some days or weeks, therefore he'll know he should watch his mouth. [to follow what he says]

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ:

he came back to the dorm late after training with satoru.

you, being the lovely girlfriend ever, wanted to help megumi: you filled the bathtub with water, made delicious dinner, and find a good movie to watch after bath. maybe, it isn't a romantic thing, but it'll help him to release the tension in the muscle.

'megumi, you finally here!' you had green your boyfriend with a warm hug, as you always do, cupped his face to kiss him.

you were about to give a kiss, when 'gumi intercepted your hands, looking at you tiredly.

'how was the train? you must be tired, that's why i made for you bath and dinner.'

you walked into the living room as you heard him muttering.

'you always being so annoying and so mommy [i mean, hyper custody], i am not a child, y/n, i can help myself.'

'gomen-gomen, megumi, i just wanted to help you relax.'

'stop being like that! that's annoying, i'll take a bath alone, without you.'

you saw bruises and abrasions on his face - he must be angry about that. you have known how megumi hates to be beaten gojou or todou.

you decided not to answer, only waiting till his fury will calm down and he will apologize.

ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ ᴛᴏᴊɪ:

i want to confess right away - i'm already afraid of him.

toji should be about to return home from a mission any minute now.

you had baked apple pie and made dinner, anticipating for your husband to arrive.

you only overheard heavy footsteps in the living room, immediately run to see him.

'my love, you back home.' you were about to kiss him, when he turned his head, pronouncing:

'don't touch me.'

his obnoxious nature. over the years of living with him you have taught him to be more gentle with you.

'use better words, toji.'

'i will talk to you as i want, woman. the fact you are my wife doesn't mean i'll be docile.'

'don't talk to me like that, i'm yo-'

'shut up, you're just a wife who comes when i need her. don't exalt yourself. don't be clingy.'

notwithstanding your strong character, tears start to roll down on cheeks.

'i have no intention of being your servant, toji. find another 'wife', i'm leaving.'

ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ:

as you know, gojou satoru is a playful guy, who wants to tease you like 24/7.

you never thought that gojou would scream at you due to you being clingy. it happened, tho.

you are basically just like him, naughty and agile, waiting for him after work so you could take gojou in your arms and kiss him.

when you heard as the door opened, you ran to hug him. however, when you were anticipating to him to do the same, he uttered: 'let go of me.'

you thought he wanted to hug you first, so you've wrapped your arms around your neck tighter.

'did i not make myself clear? get off me. you being so clingy and intrusive.'

'i missed you, 'toru.'

'we see each other every single day, let me spend a few days alone, don't act like a child, stop being sticky'

when you heard the last word, you get off your boyfriend, watching as he slowly walking into the living room, not look at you.

'a few days alone? fine, gojo, whatever. all you want, i'm leaving.'

you grabbed your phone, leaving the house.

ɴᴀɴᴀᴍɪ ᴋᴇɴᴛᴏ:

you had mentioned that you might be clingy or sticky, demanding a lot of attention, when you on the period.

he agreed, laughed at your words. 'i always be with you anywhen, angel.'

as silly as it may sound, you wrapped your arms on a pillow, which was smelling like him, imagining it was kento.

you heard as a door opened, cheerfully coming down to greet your boyfriend.

'welcome home, darling, i was waiting for you to have some.. cuddles!' you straighten arms on him, expecting kento hugs you.

'it seems as you need me only for that, y/n.'

'no, darling, of course not. how was your day? tell me while we're gonna have a bath.'

'that's what i'm talking about. can it be only one day when you stop being sticky like that? i'm tired from work i want to be alone.'

you were speechless. you mumbled something illegible, step backward.

'y-yeah, s-sure..'

you walk in the bathroom, hiding your tears from him. as soon as you found yourself in the room, you sob.

'he just tired. i-i won't cry.'

you let your boyfriend spend an evening on his own, trying not to cry.

ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ:

disclaimer: the king was really mad today, exactly today when you wanted to cuddle him.

you came to his domain, happy and shine like the sun - you've moved up in the ranks, isn't that a success?

you baked muffins, the kind that the king likes - with chocolate, and garnished with nuts on top. [it's only my opinion]

so, when you stood in front of a pile of skulls, sukuna unexpectedly said: 'you should leave. now.'

'huh?' you turned your head on the left, in a curious gesture, waiting for him to explain.

you did a step forward, thought you misunderstood him.

he didn't even look at you, sitting on the throne like you ain't here like you're sort of a slave, not a girlfriend.

'i've got so good news, sukuna. the first i had baked muff-'

before you could've finished the sentence, he used cursed energy to stop you, knocking the treats out of your hands.

'i fucking said you to leave my domain, woman. are you that stupid? and stop being clingy, it's irritating me.'

you knew his nature, you knew he might indicate something offensive, but, that one - above hurtful.

'what's wrong, the king?' you said his position mockingly, going down the skulls, looking at his back. 'go to hell, i'll tell it itadori. be here alone, sukuna.'

well, shall i do a part two with apologies? also sorry for kinda sad post.

[?] - pls corrent me if i used the wrong word.

↳ back to the main master list.

[fastlikealambo]

         A Court Of Blood And Dreams: Vampire! Morpheus x Black Fem Reader AU

sneak peek # 1.

                              Sneak Peek # 2

Summary: Vampires have been out of the coffin for the last hundred years or so and after a long war, humans and immortals live in somewhat peace. The easiest way to make money is to donate blood for the rich vampires who want the real thing and after losing your job, you’re out of options.  

You also neglected to read the fine print.

What you thought was a red cross watch tv while giving away a few pints of blood situation has turned into an invitation to be the human blood bag for one of the most powerful vampires in the world.

An invitation you accepted when you signed on the dotted line.

Little do you know, you’re about to marry the most powerful vampire king in the world.

Note: I need more time but I didn’t want to leave yall hanging so I hope you like another glimpse into this world :)  This draws on the movie The Invitation for inspiration but you don’t have to have seen the movie to understand as this is highly AU and the lore comes from everywhere.

Though this fic is focused on  morpheus x reader, the endgame is probably gonna be morpheus x reader x calliope. 

Don’t forget to reblog, reply, or like this so I know if you like it!

Trigger Warnings: Murder, vampirism, roderick burgess being a sexist crotch pheasant

2011. 

“The King!”

The whispers of the growing crowd fell silent as Morpheus, Vampire King of The Court of Dreaming, walked slowly to the front. He had no reason to run to the scene, the amount of blood he smelled already informed him of his human bride’s demise. There was nothing that could be done and he would not waver in front of his court.

He could not waver.

His walk ended with nearly tripping over Calliope, who held their bride in her arms. She rocked  her back and forth, nearly oblivious to Morpheus’ presence until he knelt down beside his loves, both undead and dead.

“I  found her like this, I tried to turn her but she was already dead. Someone did this Oneiros, someone in this room murdered her!” Calliope screamed into the crowd.

“As tragic as it is, my king, the girl probably did this to herself. Perhaps it might be best if you removed your hysterical wife from the room.” Roderick Burgess, another member of court, spoke up.

“You are a snake Roderick Burgess.” Calliope spat back, baring her fangs. 

“Enough. If anyone in this court knows anything about what has occurred here tonight, you will speak now.” Morpheus said.

The room remained silent.

“Someone answer me!”  Morpheus yelled. 

And yet, nothing.

Despite Calliope’s pleas, Morpheus gently took his human bride from her and carried her from the room. By moonlight, he washed her body,  slipped the wedding ring from her finger and into his pocket.

They buried her in her wedding gown.

As the vampire king threw a blood red rose into her grave, he came to a decision.

He would never take a human bride again. 

TEN YEARS LATER.

“ Today marks the 37th anniversary of the end of The Blood War, The War That Drained The World, a time marred by death and destruction for humans and vampires alike but now we celebrate thirty seven years of peace. Don’t forget to pick up your Memorial Meal at Mcdonalds! Free for the first 50 veterans!”

The commercial fades out into the background as you fidget in your seat, picking at the threads of your sweater, trying to do the math to figure out how you could split your donor money into rent, car payment, groceries, possibly a new sweater to replace this one.

“ You can come back now sweetheart.”  The nurse said, her smile failing to hide the fangs peeking through her lips. You follow her, ignoring the texts coming through your phone from your landlord whom you promised you’d pay in an hour.

This was your life since your mom died. 

Dodging calls from your landlord, 

Defaulting on your student loan payments,

Losing your job,

And now you’ve done the one thing you promised your mother you wouldn’t do, “donated” your blood to vampires who can afford the real thing.

“Sorry, did we just pass payroll? ” You said, confused,  watching other humans pass you with checks in hand, various degrees of relief and despair on their faces.

“We’ll be stopping by there on the way out, my supervisor just wants to talk to you first, it won’t take long, I promise.” She said, not looking back and you force yourself to keep pace with her.

You don’t have the time to ponder much when the nurse pushes you forward into a poorly light office with a vampire in an ill-fitting suit awaits you, same semi-empty smile on his face, like poorly disguised hunger.

“You’re the donor I’ve been hearing about! Please take a seat, we have much to discuss.”  He said.

“We do?”  You didn’t want to but you sank into the plastic chair.

“We do!  First, here’s your passport, we didn’t know you didn’t have one but it’s all very official, you shouldn’t have a problem in customs, the court took care of that.”  The supervisor said, taking a second to stop from bustling around his office to slide a very real looking passport on the desk in front of you. 

“I think there’s been a mistake, I’m here to get paid. I gave you my blood and now I’m supposed to get a check just like it said in the brochure. I have to meet my landlord so whatever this is, I’m sorry but I have to go.” You said, starting to stand up but the nurse’s extremely strong grip on your shoulder sits you right the fuck back down. 

The smile never leaves the supervisor’s face but widens a bit, his fangs fully on display as he pushes a packet in front of you and flips to a page.

“You may have read the brochure, but you neglected to read the paperwork, Paragraph C Subsection 2 right above your signature. You agreed for your blood to be tested as part of your donation agreement and should the results of that test be of interest to our private clients, they are  to be notified for additional donation requests. You signed, your blood was tested, and the results were astounding enough for our clients to be notified.”

“ I don’t care if you found glitter in my blood, I want my payment and I’d like to go home now. “ You said, adding some bass to your voice that begins to shake when the nurse closes the door.

“ Allow me to break this down for you: you have something rare in your blood that makes you valuable, valuable enough to warrant an invitation from a very powerful client of ours to join them at their home.  You can accept the invitation and the protection and financial compensation that comes with that or you can decline that invitation.”

“I-” He puts up one finger to silence you.

 “Upon a verbal decline, that protection and financial compensation is null and void, this clinic will be paid for the inconvenience and my lovely nurse and I will drain you dry to find out just  what makes your blood so special.  You wrote on your paperwork that you have no next of kin so no one will care what happens next but something will happen next.  You have thirty five seconds to decide.”

“Are you fucking-

“Thirty four seconds now.”

Your phone kept going off in your bag, in near tandem with the beating of your heart.

This wasn’t going to stop, was it?

 Even if you had managed to get the money for rent for this month, what about the next?

You had already lost so much and now your choices were die here or die possibly later. 

“ I accept the invitation.”

“Excellent, King Morpheus will be most pleased.” The supervisor said, handing over the passport and tickets.

“Vampire royalty isn’t real.” You said, begrudgingly taking the passport.

“I’m sure you’ll find out when he kills you. Don’t forget to fill out the customer service survey on your way out!”  You’re not so politely shoved out of the office by the nurse with no money and a passport you have no idea how they got.

“Forgot to mention, your flight leaves in one hour, boarding pass has been sent to your phone.” The supervisor pops his head out before slamming the door back in your face. 

“One hour?!”

[watchmegetobsessed]

Grammy Winner Husband - Harry Styles

a/n: okay, yall know im a suckr for dad content and i just needed to write this little fluffy thing. also MY BABY IS A GRAMMY WINNER IM SO PROUD OF HIM and also, Sarah and Mitch are gonna be parents???? my heart can’t take all this *sigh*

pairing: Husband!Harry / Dad!Harry x Pregnant!Reader

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

“Congratulations once again, Harry. This Grammy looks great on you,” the interviewer compliments the grinning man who still very much feels like he is in a dream and his phone could start ringing anytime, ending this ethereal feeling of becoming what was only a dream when he was just a boy.

“Thank you,” he cracks a humbled smile.

“How are you gonna celebrate? Popping all the champagnes?”

“Honestly?” he sighs. “I just really want to kiss my wife, that’s gonna be my celebration,” he chuckles shyly, making every woman close to him swoon at his sweetness.

He accepts all the congratulations, the little shiny golden award weighing in his hands, not letting it out of his sight as he makes his way to the back to change his outfit back to something casual instead of the bold statements he has been making all night with his boas.

“Good night, Harry. Tell Y/N I said hi!” Sarah runs a hand down his back, grabbing his attention immediately. She’s gotten rid of her leather bodysuit as well, wearing just jeans and an oversized t-shirt, but her bump is making an appearance in it regardless. Mitch is holding his girlfriend’s other hand, their bags occupying his other as he smiles back at Harry with proud, shining eyes.

“Good night, you guys. Drive safe and thank you for tonight.” Harry pulls her into yet another hug, careful not to hold her too tight.

“Good night, see you soon,” him and Mitch share a quick hug as well, patting each other on the back before stepping back. Sarah’s hand runs down her belly, an instinctive motion Harry has seen quite often lately and not just from her and it reminds him how badly he just wants to get home to you finally.

While most performers and winners are probably out for some celebrations, champagnes must flow all directions, Harry quickly loads his things in his car and heads home to the one person he would ever want to celebrate with. It’s late, way past midnight by the time he arrives home and he has a guess where to find you.

Being the angel that you are, you left the lights on for him so he doesn’t have to blindly make his way to the bedroom. He kicks off his boots, drops his bag to the couch in the living room, placing the award on the dining table before padding down the hallway, the muffled sound of the TV and the strobbing lights of the screen still on in there, illuminating the doorway. He pushes the door that’s ajar open more, his smile immediately widening as he sees you curled up under the sheets, the TV remote still in your hands, your phone lying on the pillow next to your head while you’re fast asleep.

You swore you wouldn’t have problem staying up this late, but Harry knew it was not gonna happen, especially because ever since you’ve reached your third trimester bedtime was moved to seven o’clock, no exceptions.

Harry takes a second to adorn the beauty he has the luck to call his wife, before he quietly tiptoes into the bathroom connected to the bedroom to quickly wash up and get ready to his way of celebration: holding his pregnant wife in bed, falling asleep smelling your shampoo and maybe feeling a few tiny kicks under his palms.

Following a speedy shower he brushes his teeth, washing away the taste of that one glass of champagne he allowed for himself, he has been very restricted when it comes to alcohol ever since you found out you’re pregnant. Partially because he wants to take solidarity with you, having to say no to a good wine whenever you’re out for dinner, or a beer you occasionally drank with him while watching a movie. But he also feels like alcohol would just take away memories from his brain he wants to cherish forever.

Lifting the covers he tries to slip into bed next to you as gently and quietly as possible so you don’t wake up, but the moment the mattress sinks in under his weight, your eyes flutter open, blinking up at him sleepily as you register what’s really happening.

“Oh shit, you’re back! I really wanted to be awake when you arrive!” you pout at him as his arms curl around you, pulling you to him gently, his smiling lips pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s alright, baby. I know how tired you always are.”

“Yeah, but my man won a fucking Grammy! I wanted to jump at you the moment you walk in,” you giggle, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. “I’m so proud of you, baby. Congrats!”

“Thank you,” he smirks blushing softly. He is still not used to the title he has earned today.

“You looked so hot on stage, that leather suit was awesome,” you grin, cupping his face, turning it towards you so you can see his bright, shining eyes.

“Yeah? You liked it?” he shyly asks, his finger grazing on your belly, tickling you a little in hopes the little one inside is still up, or went to sleep just like his mommy. “Mm, loved it,” you grin, pulling him down for a sweet kiss, one he was waiting all night to finally get. “And I love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” he hums against your lips, his palm coming to connect with your bump. “How are you feeling?” he asks, nuzzling his nose against yours.

He knows how this third trimester has been on you, the swelling and back pains killing you but you never complained as much as he knew you could have. He admired your strength all through this pregnancy, from the way you handled morning sickness, all the mood swings and changes in your body to the point where you are now carrying a literal watermelon at this point, having left only three more weeks until the baby arrives.

“I’m good, a little hungry maybe, but what’s new,” you chuckle.

“You want me to make you something?” he asks right away, ready to get out of bed to make you a sandwich or bake you cookies even if that’s what you wanted. But you push him down back shaking your head at him.

“It’s fine, I can wait until the morning. I just want to kiss my Grammy winner husband stupid right now,” you grin before leaving a sloppy kiss on his chest, chin, nose and finally, his lips. Pecking your lips a few times he makes you lie on your back as he slides down and pushing your shirt up, his adorning eyes fall to your belly, hands coming to gently cup it.

“Hey there, little one,” he murmurs as he leans closer and kisses your stretched out skin just above your belly button.

“He hasn’t moved in a while, think he’s asleep,” you smile, fingers running through his curls as you watch him pepper your belly with more feather-like kisses. Harry has been ecstatic since you found out you’re having a boy, though he would have been just the same if it was a girl.

“S’alright, I’m just gonna wish him goodnight,” he smiles, pressing his cheek against your bump before he kisses it one last time, pulling the shirt back down over it. Climbing up he pulls you back into his arms, knowing how much you like being held normally, but since you’ve fallen pregnant, you’ve become especially cuddly, which he doesn’t mind a bit.

“I love you, H. So proud of you,” you huff, feeling your eyes closing. Harry grabs the remote and turns the TV off, placing it to his nightstand along with your phone before kissing the top of your head.

“Love you too. Thank you for being here for me,” he huffs, the smile never leaving his lips. He has never felt happier and more complete ever in his life.

“Always,” you whisper before drifting back to sleep.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[waywardangel-wilds]

Part 2, inspired by local woman’s thoughts (me lmao) of her kids show (cute perfect nephew who I spend nearly every waking moment with)

In this episode Peeta has another bowl of fruit, this time assorted, but bananas are heavily featured:

“So I’m with the kids, and we’re watching Carson the car, and can I just say — (banana getting peeled excuse him) what was I saying? Oh right, that show? Actually funny, but it’s fucked up on so many levels, it’s a tiered cake of fucking insane.

“So I don’t know where the fuck Katniss is, all I got is Carson the fucking car and my two demon children and the dad car, whatshisface, is all like “oh hoho kiddies, maybe if yall win the competition” — right cause they’re in a competition, but they’re also on tv with a Tracey fucking Turbull vibe going — whatshisface is like “win the competition and mommy and daddy might end up with a little car again” and all the kids are confused and haha, yeah I get it, it’s a parent joke, haha the cars are gonna fuck, but look me in my fucking eyes” (aggressive camera zoom in on those white man eyes, aggressive baker boy points at us with his half eaten banana) “look into my soul and tell me that isn’t the wildest shit you’ve ever heard. Cause why am I staying up at night thinking about car biology?? How are these cars having sex? How are they giving birth? Why do they eat STEAK for dinner??? And my WIFE, my fucking wife doesn’t even wanna look at me anymore, cause every night I’m laying there, freaking out about car sex. How are they fucking??? Katniss told me to get a life and move on, but what the fuck? I’m supposed to just forget about car sex??? we’re not even talking right now, cause all I wanna do is talk about is car fucking biology. Who’s fucking building them? Did they evolve from radioactive car waste? Where is the cargina? I don’t know what to do this is taking over my whole life. I made a fucking car themed wedding cake yesterday. Somebody paid me for a wedding cake and I covered it in cars, this is insane. I’m gonna lose the bakery. What the fuck.”

Peeta should have a special segment on Morning Wood that is just him, no Johanna, no Katniss, watching red pill guys give advice so he can destroy them. We should call it Rizzllark Wednesdays or something.

[xmenvevo]

something that bothers me a lot about post-80s rogue is that for most of that time, unless claremont is writing her she loses all her dirtrock punky alt girl energy and she’s just some variation of xmen tas yeehaw southern thottie which is like.... yes this is also rogue....but it’s not all of her and a HUGE part of her that people love to not get into in comics and adaptations (save evo my beloved) is that she’s a freak, she’s a weirdo. she’s ROGUE.

like it’s not just a edgy codename it’s very much a warning label. she is rogue, she’s a loose canon, she’s out there on the edge and she’s gonna do what she’d gonna fucking do so eat shit if that’s not what you wanted. she’s both an outsider because of her actions and because even within the xmen she’s on the “cannot pass” list. and also the shit list.

i really do not like a lot of 90s-00s rogue content. i don’t like a lotta modern rogue content. mainly because i think a lot of people forget that she was raised by MYSTIQUE AND DESTINY, STALKED AND ATTEMPTED TO MURDER DAZZLER and was just generally out here being an absolute raging psycho and like.... NEVER LOST THAT CAPACITY and how these things are a part of her and they effect her thinking and her character to this day.

like in axis they have her trying to sTOP??? MAGNETO???? FROM KILLING A NAZI???????? WHO JUST TRIED TO PUT THEM ALL IN A CONCENTRATION CAMP????? they literally have her condemn him for killing the red skull and i’m sitting here like “you can’t tell me that mystique’s daughter who’s already Killed People and one of those on tv is telling MAGNETO OF ALL PEOPLE he’s wrong for doing this” like shit lbr she’d’ve handed him the rock.

something that forever irks me is how in the comics there’s very little work to actually integrate her into the gang she just is pals with people. people like nightcrawler and storm who dead ass looked in her face when she was 17 and told her to fucking choke when she came begging them for help. some of that gets smoothed over when she tries to basically commit suicide by bad guy saving logan’s wife but then we lose all the progress between her and the aussie era xmen team at least when they brush off her sa in genosha and carol stealing her body and robbing her of her autonomy. she’s literally weeping and storm tells her she deserves to die then all the girls take carol on a shopping spree. and then in later 00s comics storm’s calling her anna marie!!!!! fuck you!!! that’s not earned!!!! we did not ever see storm apologize for treating a late teen/young woman she was in charge of like that. how can you expect me to accept this relationship when you do not show me them healing from this??? bc i’d really like!!!!! to not black out with rage over this!!!!! i wanna enjoy their interactions!!!!

there’s several other places like this where it’s just-- yall the work is not there... it’s not..... i don’t like how rogue gets handled sm.... she’s not a southern belle bombshell...... she’s the girl from the wrong side of the tracks. she listens to heavy metal and gets in bar fights. when she loses her powers, she gets a full fucking arm sleeve (which i’m STILL bitter is gone) and opens up a fucking motorcycle repair shop.......

okay this is getting too long and it’s GENUINELY incomprehensible because i actually have a LOT of thoughts about this shit and they all go all over. i’ll probably do some like.... actual posts with panels and issues and things so i can better explain my issues with how rogue gets handled bc i love her and i want her to be punk rock again so bad