#YALL ARE SO NICE TO ME!!! LITERALLY ALL THE TIME!!!!
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40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER ELEVEN
thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…
pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc
taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @slvt4her @uconnpazzi @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @ch12334 @wbb4l
warnings angst, allusions to sex, more julian mentions
kalena speakss 🪽! yall will hate me and thank me for this chapter, sorry :(
July 2025 — Hartford, Connecticut
“Nuh uh! I’m standing next to Boogers, she was my senior!”
“She was everyone’s senior, she was here for too damn long.” Sarah responds, making the bunch of my former teammates laugh.
I don’t even bother to fight back. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss these girls until I was across the country. Connecticut has become home to me, five years of lessons and friendships that I’ll hold into forever. It’s my first time back in Connecticut since the national championship, and the feeling is unreal.
The amount of UConn jerseys is unreal, cheers each time I checked in, after every shot. It became normal to me, loudest crowds in LA, then Minnesota, and now Connecticut. My third home.
We all stand at center court at Mohegan Sun, all of my former teammates excluding Aubrey who’s in New York and Kaitlyn who’s in San Francisco.
We take the picture and everyone disperses, breaking into a multitude of conversations.
“So, we going out tonight? Like old times?” Ice is beaming at me, a smile fitting her face as she tugs me down with an arm around my neck.
I chuckle. “I’m too damn old to be showing up at Ted’s again.” I mutter. My shoes squeak against the hardwood with each step I take to get out of her hold.
“No, not Ted’s, a different— that doesn’t matter. You coming? Please?”
I nod, tugging on the gatorade towel that accumulates the sweat around my neck. “Cam’s coming too.”
“Perfect! The more the merrier.”
—
The more the merrier was right.
The club was loud and fucking packed, from athletes to college kids, anyone that you could imagine. My leg bounces along to the music playing while Allie and Azzi talk about God knows what a few feet in front of me. The beer I’m drinking glides down my throat while I look around.
“This place is jumpin’.” I murmur to Caroline next to me.
She nods, the hair that frames her face swinging over her shoulder as she looks at me. “I know. Maybe you can get some play tonight.”
“You think I’m not gettin’ any in LA?” I laugh, taking another swig.
“I know you’re not getting any. I have my sources.”
I roll my eyes, spinning back around in my bar stool for another drink.
There was definitely enough alcohol in my system. Tequila burning in my chest and a couple beers downed as well. I’m well beyond thinking straight, which to me is fine since we don’t play again for another two days.
“Lemme get a dirty shirley.” I tell the nice bartender who’s probably cringing at my alcohol breath.
“Can I get one of those too? And two shots of vanilla crown, please?”
The voice literally makes me freeze.
I know it well, so well, that I’m not even surprised when I look to my right and Nyla sits there with a smile towards the bartender. I haven’t seen her in what feels like years, even if the last time was in Tampa during the tourney.
She looks good. I mean, she always does. It’s why I let her walk all over me for so long. Why I kept going back no matter how much it hurt.
Nyla wears a blue corset top, it contrasts beautifully with her brown skin and cups her breasts in a way that drags my eyes down to them. Sober, I wouldn’t have paid her any mind. But right now my head is spinning and I can’t help it.
“Good to see you.” She feeds me a tight lipped smile.
I look over my shoulder at Caroline, who is no longer paying any attention to me.
“You look good, Ny.” I say through squinted eyes.
The bartender slides my drink to me over the table, her’s as well. And when Nyla picks up her drink, and her lips purse around the small black straw, my mind immediately goes to Maraye.
I haven’t thought about her in a while, not since she left my apartment. Yet, the second I look at Nyla I think of her. The way her hands, done up with pretty french tips, would wrap around the glass cup. Or the way she smiled at me when I bought her a drink that night in Atlanta.
I turn away, feeling the wood of the bar dug into my back as I watch Allie, and now Cameron and Caroline. They’re inebriated, definitely more than me, and dancing freely to Teenage Dream by Katy Perry.
“You don’t wanna talk?”
“What’s there to talk about, Nyla.” The statement navigates through the air, and the second it reaches her ears she huffs.
“You’ve never been good at talking about things.” Nyla laughs.
I’m quick to scoff and take another hefty gulp of my shirley. “I’ve always been good at that. You just don’t seem to listen to me.”
We sit in an uncomfortable silence, her heal taps against the tiled floor in a rhythm I wish would stop.
“We should talk, P. About Tampa, about everything. You ghosted me the morning after.”
“And you ghosted me after I told you I had feelings for you.” I returned. “It was forever ago, Nyla. Move on.”
I see her down one of her shots before slamming the small glass down on the counter. She takes in a sharp breath of air, swiveling in her chair to look at me. Nyla’s upset.
So many months of me getting angry, then realizing how badly I need her, then going right back. Countless times spent having sex with her rather than realizing how much I was letting myself go by just being around her.
She ruined me, and now that I’m not falling for it, she’s upset.
“Why’re you being such an ass about this?” She yells, the music drowns out the noise but I can still make out the bass in her voice. “It’s that bitch in LA, huh? That’s why you can’t talk to me?”
“Watch your fucking mouth.” I snap almost instantly.
It’s too often that I forget that Maraye and I aren’t the only two people in the world. That everyone around us still sees the way we look at each other or act around one another.
We co-exist with everyone else. They are also affected by the shit we do. The things we say.
The way we kiss each other.
“Oh so she is your girlfriend?”
“You’on’t get to be mad about shit. I’m setting boundaries with you.” I say, refusing to bring Raye’s name up again and make things worse. I care about Maraye, obviously, and if I had to hear a girl who literally ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it repeatedly call her out of her name again, I might get suspended.
I finish what’s left of my vodka filled drink, mouth tasting of grenadine and tingling faintly from the sprite.
“I want you, P. Y’know that.” Nyla hums. She’s so damn sadistic. She knows the exact way to get under my skin all the while turning my brain to mush for her.
“No you don’t.” I scoff. “You don’t know what you want, Ny. That’s why I ended all this shit.”
This conversation is entirely reminiscent of the one I had with Raye earlier this week. Which makes me think that she didn’t do anything about the pressing Julian-situation.
Then I’m getting angry all over again. Pissed off that not only is the girl that I want is probably at home pillow talking her boyfriend, but that the girl I once was fucking helpless over is sitting in front of me telling me everything I want to hear from her. Not her–Nyla, her–Maraye.
Even though I have on shorts and t-shirt, my body still feels like I’m on fire as if I was wearing a full snow suit. The alcohol and combined anger has my brain running in laps, from Maraye to Nyla to the fucking flight I have to be on time for in the morning.
And it’s hard to keep it all intact with the way Nyla fucking looks at me. Like she hates me but there’s still a glint in her eye that reminds me of the first time we met. When I saw her in the stands sophomore year, her hair was short and brown with blonde streaks. She was everything then.
“Paige.”
“No, Nyla.”
But now, I don't even recognize her. Her voice sounds like a fever dream, or a fragment of my imagination.
“I can fix this.”
Her hand rests on my knee. I should jump or push her away but I just stare at it like an idiot.
My legs spread apart subconsciously, welcoming her between them. And I am an idiot, allowing her to stand in this place that I have decided belongs to Maraye.
“Lemme fix it, P. Like old times.”
We’re at eye level like this. Her hand trailing up my thigh and to my shoulder. I need to push her away. Tell her to get off me, and then head back to the hotel. By myself.
But I can’t.
For whatever damn reason. I can’t.
—
July 2025 — Los Angeles, California
I rock awkwardly on my heels, bottom lip tucked between my teeth so tight it might bleed.
My heart beats rapidly in my chest while I wait for the door to swing open. I can hear the hum of the air conditioning system blow through the hallway and the sound of my breaths coming out heavy and ragged.
The lock click echos when the door finally does pull open and there he stands. Hand stuffed in the pocket of his black dress pants.
It’s crazy, that just months ago I was head over heels over this man. The sight of him like this would’ve sent me into orbit, but now it’s like he’s just here. Just another person in my world.
“We need to talk.” I stutter, eyes glued to him.
“Yeah.” Julian responds, turning around and walking into his apartment. He doesn’t close the door, leaving it open for me to follow him, I do so not forgetting to lock it behind me.
“This needa be quick. I got a meeting.” He murmurs as we approach his bedroom.
I haven’t been here in forever, and that’s totally and completely my own fault. I’ve been so damn avoidant. Sure I was always working, but I made time in my day to go see Paige or Rickea or my sister. But with Julian I just chose not to.
“That’s fine.” I say. “We uh, Ion think this is working, Ju.”
He hums, nodding and throwing on a button up shirt over his wife beater shirt.
I don’t even think he’s surprised, more content with the result. Like he expected this the second I rang his doorbell. Maybe even earlier than that.
“Damn.” It’s not a disappointing damn, quite the opposite actually.
“I’m sorry. I just— I can’t give you what you want. We’re one opposite ends of life right now, and I don’t wanna hurt you. Really.”
I don’t know how much is the truth and how much is meant to be a lie to get him to not talk about our last argument. I know I can’t give him what he needs, it’s not because of my alleged time management struggles.
My heart wasn’t in it. Even if it wasn’t for Paige, I’d be calling it quits because I’m not into him the way I should be. She taught me that. The lengths I’d go to for someone I had feelings for, I simply don’t think I could do for him.
“That’s it? Y’just can’t make time for me?”
I huff at the undertone of his voice.
“Nah, this isn’t me arguing. You really think that?”
I nod. “Among other things, yes.” I can’t look at him. Because even though I think he doesn’t, Julian knows me well. He knows my tells and the way I react under pressure. “You deserve better than me, Julian.”
His cologne burns through the air when he sprits it out across his skin. I’m sure that the second I leave, that damned scent would be ingrained into my mind forever, I’d never forget it.
“And this has nothing to do with her?”
Julian doesn’t look away from me for a second, staring holes into my soul that make me feel naked. My hands sweat, and I stuff them in the back pockets of my jeans.
I’d be dumb to stand here and keep lying. I’m already an idiot for thinking that everything would be peaches and cream after this. So I take a breath of air, which basically confirms any doubts Julian has running in his head.
“I— Ju.”
“I fuckin’ knew it. You sleepin’ with her?”
“No. No, Ju. She just— it’s so easy to be myself around her, and I feel like I'm always fighting to be myself with you.” I explain, partially trying to save my ass. “I dunno.”
“So that’s it. You cheat on me and think shit just gonna work out with her?”
“All I can control is this. We aren’t working, so we’re breaking up. That’s it, Julian.” I say, fully aware of how disgusted he looks with me right now.
Never in a million years did I think this shit could happen to me. I’m so conflicted, I don’t deserve whatever happy ending may come with Paige. I don’t deserve his forgiveness either, that’s for damn sure.
“Whatever.” Julian shrugs, walking out of the room with his shoes in hand. I follow behind him, trying to meditate the situation any way I can. It doesn’t work, as I expected.
He trots to the door, unlocking it again and pulling it open. He stands in the doorway, looking at me expectantly. His height looms over me as he waits.
Words form on my tongue and instantly die there. I shut my mouth, slipping through the corridor and hearing it slam behind me.
And for a brief second, I feel good. Like everything is going the way it’s supposed to.
Then the reality of it all hits me, and I feel like I want to run into a wall.
—
July 2025 — Hartford, Connecticut
My heartbeat rings in my ears while I make an attempt to catch my breath.
Nyla lays next to me, sweaty and naked, and months ago I would’ve been completely enamored by the sight. But now I’m just fucking disgusted.
She’s gorgeous, always has been. That’s not the issue.
The issue is her lips don’t taste like that vanilla sweet cream I would always taste after being with Raye. It’s almost bitter, just pure alcohol.
I eagerly throw my legs off the side of the bed. We’re at her apartment, not too far from my hotel. I feel her stare into my back, piercing through me and suddenly I’m well aware of my own nakedness. I toss my bra followed by my shirt over my head before picking up my boxers and putting them on too. The bed shifts, dipping slightly before I feel her hand on my arms.
The events of the last hour have sobered me up tremendously, her hands that once were burning hot to the touch are suddenly freezing. Almost dead.
“Where you goin’?” Nyla asks. Her voice is raspy from the screaming of my name. It should make me feel good, as it always seems to no matter who I’m with.
This time it doesn’t.
I shrug her off of me standing up from the bed and searching for the rest of my clothes. My shorts, socks, shoes all scattered somewhere. I threw the hair tie that kept my hair in a ponytail somewhere too, and Nyla was definitely crazy enough to use it to make a clone of myself.
“Paige, I said—”
“I heard what you said. I’m getttin’ the fuck outta here.”
“You’re not doing this shit again.” She grumbles, pulling on her panties and trying to chase after me. Nyla grabs my arm as she spins me around, looking up at me while I stare up at the ceiling in an attempt to avoid her tits in my face.
“This was a mistake.” I explain, pushing her off of me and finally putting on my shorts. My shoes follow. “You and me are fuckin’ done. Ion know how many times I gotta say that for it to click in your damn head.”
“‘Cause you say shit like that and then come crawling right back!” She’s yelling now, and I can only imagine how irritated her neighbors have become with us. “You wanna act like you didn’t just fuck me? Or that you didn’t tell me you missed me.”
“I’m fucking drunk! That’s the only reason why I do any of this shit with you.” I yell, back. “Ion want shit to do with you, Nyla. I’m moving on.”
“Moving onto that ho, in LA? Is she better than me?”
“You got one more fuckin’ time to—” I cut myself off with a heavy breath, shaking my head and grabbing the rest of my belongings off her nightstand. “Get over it. We’re done. This is never, and I mean never, fuckin’ happening again.” I muse. I’m quick to rush out of the apartment, phone in hand, while I shut the door.
I feel dirty. Like I just committed a fucking felony and was on the run.
The cool air finally hits me like a breath of fresh air when I finally touch the streets. My hotel wasn’t far, a block, maybe more, away.
I’m ashamed of myself, for going back to Nyla and falling for her dumbass words as if they meant something. They never did.
Then it hits me.
Maraye.
I nearly stop in the middle of the street before picking up my pace and walking into the hotel building.
God knows what decision she’s made. She could be with Julian right now telling him everything he wants to hear. Or she could be waiting for me. To call her, to text her, to tell her that I miss her.
And believe it or not, I do. I fucking miss her crazy. Her voice and those gorgeous fucking eyes. The way she listens to me like I’m the only person left on Earth, like it’s just me and her. I miss her smell, the Chanel no.5 combined with some vanilla body spray that she almost always seemed to have on, that permanently left its mark on my nose and my soul. Everything about her being, I miss it like crazy.
I’m in the elevator, the hum of the gears and the corny ass elevator music that plays only leaves me with my thoughts. Feelings of disparity and fucking anger.
How could I be so stupid. All it took was a few drinks and a fucking glare and now I’ve made arguably the biggest mistake of my life.
My phone starts ringing when I pull out my key card. I stand in the hallway, flipping the device over and staring at it.
Her name, in bright and bold font with the anatomical heart emoji next to it. It’s so intimate, an emoji that I think I’ve only ever used in correspondence with her. The picture is recent, I changed it after she left my place that night. It’s the two of us seated on my couch, her head resting on my shoulder with her lips in that cute pout she does in almost all her photos. My eyes are red from sleep but I still keep a nose-scrunched smile on my face.
I catch myself just standing there, looking at her looking at me until the call goes to voicemail.
I’m glad that it does, because I know that if I were to pick up the phone and hear her voice as she talks I might break down.
I unlock the door, kicking my shoes off the minute the door closes. I rest my back against it, head tossed onto the white painted portal.
Then my phone buzzes again.
i miss you. call me in the morning k?
I fucked up. Fucked it all up.
#sierrale8ne#kalena’s works ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅#paige bueckers#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers smut#uconn wbb#la sparks#lesbian#my fic#40 days and 40 nights
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roles switched
summary: paige let you guys switch roles
warnings: SMUTTT!! fingering giving head hair pulling squirting strap on sex overstimulation
paige x reader
you and your girlfriend was going out tonight with her teammates. you didn’t want to go but the thought of drinking got you. “babe you almost ready?” paige asks you coming into talks shared bedroom. “yeah i’m done, how do i look?” you ask paige “fucking amazing baby, can i have a 360?” you understand why she would want this because you are literally dressed like a slut right now. “yeah” you say as you begin to turn around. she grabs your ass while your in the middle of turning. “now can i have a kiss?” “you don’t have to ask.” paige says and kisses your lips.
the bar has this energy that is booming and you can see, smell, and hear it. so you know there will be a headache coming in sooner or later. so you go to the bar and order you and paige’s drink. “how can i help you ma’ma?” the bartender asked you. “um can i have a shirley temple and a vodka soda.” “yes i will have that right with you miss.” “thank you.”
you go back to the booth they are all at to give paige her drink and sit down. “here you go baby.” she looks at you surprised “thank you baby but i didn’t have to buy this for me.” she tells you. “i know i just wanted to do something nice.” she gets out of her seat to kiss you on the lips.
“babyyy” paige comes to your seat and you can already tell she had way more drinks then needed. “yes baby?” you say to her “can we leave i’m starting to feel sick and i have a headache.” she tells you and you feel bad because she looks as what she says. “aww baby yes we can leave, do you want to tell the girls bye?” you ask her. “no can you just text them i don’t fell good.” you tell her ok and yall walk out of the bar.
“baby i don’t feel so goo-.” paige tells you before she throws up into a trash can. “paige baby are you okay?” you ask her and she keeps throwing up. after what felt like hours she finally says “ok baby now we can actually leave.” so you walk her to the car and she says she ok to drive and you trust her. “baby can i have a kiss?” “i would love too but you just vomited everywhere so no sorry.”
yall are back at home for about an hour when paige says “baby can you top me tonight?” you looked at her surprised because you didn’t think she would let you top her. “um yeah if you want me to.” you tell her and she gets supper happy. “yay i can’t wait.” she tells you and that is what makes you say “we can do it tonight right now.” “oh my god yes!” she tells you as you get up and drag her to yalls shared bedroom to fuck her. “baby i need you so baddd.” paige tells you. “really how bad?” you ask her and she shoves her boxers down to show you how bad. “oh my gosh p your soaked.” “i know ma that’s how bad i want you and how much you turn me on.” she says so you waste no time in pushing her down on the bed. “OH FUCK!” paige says as you suck on her clit. “does that fell good baby?” you tease paige and she nods but you won’t accept that. “words baby.” “ye-s fuck it fe-els so go-od.” she says so you go faster. “oh god.” you can tell she’s close because her moans are turning into screams. “i’m cummin-g s-o hard.” she is now gushing in your face and her hands are pulling your hair so hard it might bleed. “good girl.” you tell her has she sits up and your up too.
you come back from the closet with a black box that you and her know to well. “ma i hope you don’t think your fucking me with that.” she says to you. “baby yes i am i’m topping you so i get choose what i do.” you tell her because you do have control so you strip out of your clothes and attach the harness on your waist. you waste no time in shoving the strap into her cunt so she lets out a cute little squeal. “baby!” you start slow so she can get use to the feeling. now that she is used to the feeling you are plowing into her at a pace that is deadly.
“oh god!” paige says as you pound into her like you’ve been doing for the past 15 minutes. she has already came 7 times going in her eighth according to her. “you gonna cum again?” you ask her teasing her. “y-eah.” she says and you can feel how tight she is so you pull out of her edging her. “baby why did you stop.” she asks you so you say “wait baby.” you get off the bed and head over to your bed side table that has a drawer full of vibrators. you pull out the biggest one and he eyes widened but your already putting it on the highest setting and placing it on her clit. “it’s too much.” she tells you and you don’t care. “i’m gon-na cum!” and just like that she is gushing and you notice something else. paige bueckers just squirted on you. “holy shit am i pissing?” she asks you and you laugh. “no baby you squirted that was hot.” she turns red from that.
after yall clean up and stuff yall lay back down. “goodnight baby i love you.” you tell her “goodnight ma i love you more and can you top me more?” she asked which earns a slap on the arm. “owwww”
finally finished this after forever…😫
taglist: @sierrale8ne @thaatdigitaldiary @lovegalor333 @lupinqs @paiges-1vur @avvwritesstufff @moshuka @paigebueckersmommy @azzibuckets @writingbuckets @ohbueckers @cosmopretty @bbydoll18xx @pb524830 @pbnbucks
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers fic#paige x reader#paigeluvrr#tallyn fics ✨
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hiiii!! omg ive been SCOURING for a hxh blog for a while bro there’s barely any that’s active 😭😭 could i request dating hcs for the main four? ty!! :3
YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN !! I've been waiting for a main 4 request !! I CAN FINALLY POST intrams r coming to a close so praise the lord 🙌 I promise I am working yall
⊹₊⋆ Lovey-Dovey!ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
⊹₊⋆ Gn!Reader x K.Zoldyck, G.Freecss, L.Paradinight, K.Kurtaᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
༉‧₊˚. Start !༉‧₊˚.
༉‧₊˚. Killua Zoldyck !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
• Let's start with some pre-dating head canons !
• Honestly, seeing Killua's personality, he'd be really low-key about it and casual for some reason..
• You literally wouldn't think he likes you to that extent, but your label as his "best friend" Says numbers to him.
• Killua definitely confessed during his vulnerable moments, having a solemn and sad expression as he spoke. "The way you treat me compares to no other, but.. With my background, can I really be with someone so pure?"
• His words left you perplexed. What did his words mean at this current situation? "What are you saying..?" You mumbled with a raised eyebrow.
• "I'm saying I like you." Killua mumbles, a tint of irritation and vulnerability in his tone as he sighs.
• Post-dating head canons !
• The whole week you've been dating, everything was low-key. You were both casual with hints of romantic teasing gestures from him.
• Killua isn't the clingy or touchy type, but he'd always snake an arm around your shoulder and let you lean your body against his if he wants to feel your presence.
• Additionally, if he's feeling protective or in a scenario where you guys are in an unknown territory, he'll hold your hand and guide you.
• Killua isn't also the one to say direct praise, since he's known for not saying a simple gratitude to his friends, so he just gives you a small smile or nod of acknowledgement.
• The ways he shows his affection– is simply with the small actions he does. Whether it's the smallest. Placing a hand on your back and rubbing it, making you link your arm in his, and other stuff.
• Also, Killua absolutely LOVES admiring your expression or your appearance in general. His favorite thing to constantly look at? Your eyes. He probably thinks it's super cliche, but; he's simply a sucker for em. He loves seeing your true feelings and the bright shine of your eyes, it makes him fall for you again and again.
• His favorite activities he loves doing with you is probably just to spend quality time. Walking around the forest, sitting around a bond fire with your group, and more. That's his ideal.
• While Killua isn't verbal about his affection, you can easily tell that this boy is deeply in love with you and your whole being.
⊹₊⋆ Gon Freecss !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
• Gon is and would probably be the clingy type AT THE RIGHT TIME.
• He vocalizes his feelings a lot! Even an idiot would know that you're his beloved!
• "yn!! How're you doing?! Hope you're doing great!! I love you a bunch!" That's almost your wakeup call at this point.
• Pre-dating scenarios !!
• With how sweetly he treats other people in general, you assume that in a scenario where Gon is in a relationship he won't be that serious.
• But ohhh boy were you proved wrong when he confessed.
• "Did you know? I really like you. You're an amazing person.. You're super nice and everything, so uh.." He sheepishly confessed, rubbing his nape with a soft smile on his face.
• He seemed so genuine with his words, and we all know that Gon is honestly such a bad liar.
• Post Dating head canons !!
• my GOD does this boy give random trinkets.
• Oh he saw a flower while Killua and he was walking? Boom, flower crown. Oh he found a twig that formed into a heart shape? Boom it's in your possessions now.
• In contrast to everyone, Gon's super adventurous; his favorite activities he'd do with you is to travel around the world, a more realistic idea is travel to a place where you both haven't gone to yet.
• Gon isn't all that clingy as well, again– Gon is pretty clingy at the right time.
• The said "right time" is where he sees you after such a long time. Pulling you into a long and warm hug with hushed words of assurance from your tongue, Gon feels absolutely loved.
• He loves your whole being so much, he'll absolutely cherish every moment with you.
• His favorite thing about you isss I would say.. Your emotions, probably. Your emotions are his kinda! Seeing you down, he's also down. Seeing you happy brings a bright smile to his face, and he'll relish every happy moment with you.
• Gon will always and never forget to say a reminder that he'll forever love you to his heart's content. He'll never fail to voice his feelings, why would he? He knows you love him as well, and the affection he has for you is immeasurable.
༉‧₊˚. Kurapika Kurta !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
• Ouu this guy.. He irritates me to no end.
• He is SO quiet with his feelings and he's so naturally distant, naturally you'd also distance yourself from him.
• Why would you even try?! Clearly, he's "uninterested" And wants to keep things casual. Of course, this pains you because you really want to take things higher.
• Months passed, he started growing busy with his job as a Bounty Hunter. You thought you could use this as an opportunity to move on!
• But y'know what they say. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
• Both sides missed each other dearly, with no one to chat with and share their inner feelings, yn soon grows lonely.
• With no one to listen to and have no company of the one he trusts the most, Kurapika grew regretful.
• When they both met again, Kurapika didn't hesitate to cup your hands ever so gently with a look of subtle desperation in his eyes.
• "yn.." He softly calls, his voice was like a thousand melodies that sang only for your ears to hear. His expression was so very vulnerable, it made you love him more.
• "I'm so sorry." He apologizes, removing his hands from yours and gently pulling you into a hug, placing a firm yet soft hand on your scalp and having an arm wrapped around your shoulder.
• Everything escalated from there, and in a hypothetical situation, you became a Bounty Hunter too! ( if you had no plans for the other Hunter titles )
• His favorite activities to do with you is to lounge around, read a book with your fingers intertwined and have you leaning on him for support.
• With you, Kurapika believes he can achieve the life he wants. After gathering the scarlet eyes of his clan.
• Kurapika's loyalty lies with you and no one else, rest assured. He can forever guarantee your safety if you're with him.
• Similarly to Killua, Kurapika isn't vocal about his affection. But he would whisper a soft "I love you." And a "I'm sorry I can't be there for you."
• Kurapika is known to be really distant, so you have to be patient with him. And he loves you so dearly. Imagine loving someone so hard to love? Kurapika believes he was truly blessed to have a significant other like you.
• His favorite thing about you is your voice, no doubt. He can listen to your emotions even when he has his eyes closed.
• Kurapika isn't one to trust easily, so seeing him close his eyes to listen to you?? It's an achievement. He's basically lowering his guard and trusting you with his life in a literal sense!
• Additionally, he loves watching you do your hobbies. The way your lips form into a smile filled with purity, the complete opposite of what he does. The way your laugh sounds like an elegant butterfly garden– it was a weird way to explain it. But in other words; ethereal.
• You'll forever, and I mean EVER be the love of his life, the light of his life, his everything. He'll sacrifice a lot for you, and that's a given.
⊹₊⋆ Leorio Paradinight !ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁
• Ah, yes. This man.
• Low-key? Not in his vocabulary. He likes you? Oh it's painfully obvious– well I mean it's not like he's trying to hide it, really..
• It's amazing how you two clicked! Leorio with his very odd-feminist tendencies is... Eh.
• But hey! You two worked it up in the end, and he's madly in love with you. That's great, really!
• Leorio LOVES to flaunt you off. "Look at them! My gorgeous soul mate!" He exclaims with heart eyes, leaving you baffled at his volume and growing embarrassed at the amount of looks you're getting.
• Yeah! He always says an exaggerated "I love you!" In many instances, Leorio will alwayssss give you a lil smooch somewhere on the face.
• Honestly, Leorio isn't ashamed at all. Why would he? He'll freely show his affection to the one he views his soul mate– someone who is destined to be bound to each other.
• Despite Leorio's reputation, he's quite a gentleman. He's willing to sacrifice a lot of his time for you, and mind you– time is crucial for medic students.
• He respects your boundaries more than anyone else's. If he accidentally crosses the line with one of them, he'll give a genuine apology and makes it clear that those weren't his intentions at all.
• Leorio's favorite activity to do with you varies– he lovesss taking you out on small lil dates, like library dates to just sit in silence and bask in each other's presence, or an extraordinary one where he'll take you to a club and have fun.
• He ends up passing out drunk leaving you to take care of him and listen to his endless complaints the next morning– but he repays you by being extra nicer the next day.
• His favorite thing about you would be– well, your torso. NOT IN THAT WAY.
• It's simply his favorite because he can easily snake his arms around you despite your size.
• He's.. Well, clingy. He loves lovesss having his hands around you. He refuses to keep his hands to himself if you're around.
• But all in all, Leorio's a great person. He's willing to drop everything he has to heal you if you're in pain or try to find something for you. He's that committed, I promise.
༉‧₊˚. End !༉‧₊˚.
Thank you for reading ! This strictly belongs to me / killuakiru and I do not give permission for you to repost on other platforms, thank you !
#hunter x hunter#hxh#hxh 2011#hxh fanart#hxh killua#hxh x reader#hxh gon#hxh x you#killua x reader#gon freecss#killua hunter x hunter#killua zoldyck#gon x reader#kurapika x reader#hxh kurapika#kurapika kurta#leorio x reader#hxh leorio#leorio paladiknight#leorio hunter x hunter#kurapika#kurapika hxh#hxh x y/n#kurapika x you#kurapika x y/n
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Acotar rant
Spoilers
Toxic Nesta fans on tik tok are fr the most annoying people in the world omg. It’s at the point where idec abt nesta but her fans?? Some of yall suck lmao.
Like holding nesta accountable for how awful she treated her sister isnt saying she’s terrible. The whole point of her journey in her book is not only self love but taking accountability. Nesta hated herself but didn’t know how the change. The book is her GROWTH. Like I’m so annoyed w ppl victimizing her sm. Like yes she shouldn’t be hating herself but that also doesn’t mean she’s a perfect angel who never did anything wrong.
These people like nesta hate on feyre?? Which is ridiculous. A lot of the time I felt like feyre was TOO nice if anything. Bitches on tik tok were putting Rhys in the same level as KING HYBERN. Which is ridiculous.
Ppl were saying feyre mistreated nesta like?? By putting her in the house of wind?? Where later nesta understood that feyre was trying to help her?? Oh yeah the same house of wind that nesta became friends with, made three best friends, stopped drinking, got in shape and finally started to heal? Yeah ok.
Ppl being like oh poor nesta everyone was mean to her like…those were people she was mean to.
She was a huge bitch to feyre in the first book FIRST OF ALL. And then feyre kept her alive and fought for her. When I brought this up they were all like “feyre wouldn’t be alive if it weren’t for nesta” like wow it’s almost like it’s supposed to be a full circle moment where nesta realizes she was unfair to feyre. SHE LITERALLY SAYS SHE LOVES HER. Like yall are fr stupid. Nesta would not like you. She literally felt bad bc she was a bitch to feyre. And then when I said that they were like “Nesta had low self worth so she felt bad for every thing wah wah” like ok yeah but also the remorse for her treatment of feyre was warranted. Like I’m not saying she should be feeling like a piece of shit and beating herself up but like …u were a bitch to ur sister who kept you alive.
Period
Also about how feyre would be dead w out nesta, nesta wouldn’t have been able to save feyre if feyre hadn’t saved her first in the FIRST BOOK. Acosf ends with the sisters moving forward and beginning to fix their relationship so idk why you’re still hating on feyre. If you can suck nestas dick even tho she was a bitch to feyre you can forgive feyre for stuff she did in Acosf that pissed u off.
Also someone was like “she didn’t mistreat feyre feyre was mean to her first.” WHEN??
W H E N
No literally when bc the minute the book starts nesta is a huge bitch and calls her a half wild beast so don’t evennnnnn.
Anyway bitches on tik tok have me PISSED OFF and i don’t wanna respond to their bitchy asses anymore so I need to just vent my anger on here.
People who hate on feyre are so annoying like how did you read the first FOUR books if you hate her sm?? Like ur literally making this not fun lmaooo let me like feyre. I’m not mad at u for liking nesta. I’m mad at u for being stupid
#this is not an anti nesta post I am holding her accountable#anti toxic nesta fans#acotar#nesta archeron#this might piss some ppl off#feyre archeron#nesta acotar#feyre acotar#nesta and feyre#tiktok#rant
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ur art style is genuinely sososososososo cute i luv it so much
thank you so much!!!
i also wanna take this opportunity to say: i actually get asks like this fairly often?? and i RARELY answer them, and it is NOT because i am not happy to hear it.
it is in fact, because i think they are all, like this one, really incredibly sweet and i never really feel like i have the right words to express how great and lovely it is that y'all are willing to take time out of your day and send these really kind and validating messages (particularly to me, an internet rando who largely draws very silly and self indulgent shit).
so if you have literally ever sent me an ask saying nice stuff about my art and i didn't answer it just know it is still just sitting there in my inbox making me do one of these every time i see it
#not art#words#ask#YALL ARE SO NICE TO ME!!! LITERALLY ALL THE TIME!!!!#like for real i almost never get hate messages or comments or anything its 99% people being so goddamn sweet and wonderful!!!! all the time#it is heartening in ways i have a difficult time describing. thus the lack of responses from me typically#i dont mean to leave yall hanging i am LITERALLY just overwhelmed emotionally by the positivity and kindness!!!!
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jean moreau, and faith and religion and the absence of it.
the sunshine court, nora sakavic // the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, sylvia plath // "stay down" by boygenius ft. julien baker, lucy dacus, and phoebe bridgers // the denial of st. peter, caravaggio // salome with the head of st. john the baptist, simon vouet // henry iv pt. ii, william shakespeare // the rebirth of the arts, charles haslewood shannon // daredevil: "born again" (1986) by frank miller et al. // "ash-wednesday", t.s. eliot // map of hell, botticelli
#jean moreau#the sunshine court#aftg#tsc#renee walker#all for the game#nora sakavic#web weaving#r weaves webs#okay yall im gonna be honest this is a new kind of engagement for me soooo pls b nice#however i simply had to get into it bc i have so many ideas all the time#in this case all the religious imagery in tsc literally had me losing my mind#i didn't even have space to use half the examples i found here#renee rainbow post coming maybe???#anyway for those of yall who do these web posts all the time pls lmk if u have any advice bc honestly i just gave it my best shot#like i did do my research so everything should in fact mean what i believe it means#but u know. nowhere to go from here but UP#r tags#r posts
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Hi y'all, I just wanted to talk a little about the behind the scenes of what I've been up to, to give y'all a little transparency and to open myself up for any tips or input! 🙏 Thank you for your continued support and for taking the time to look at my art 🫶
First and foremost I wanted to give some transparency about my art capacity.
As og followers may remember, I started this blog when I was doing art full time. Eventually my living expenses grew and I had to go back to work. I find myself in a cycle of "I'll make more art soon, once I get a job!" And "I'll make more art soon, once I am done with this job!" I lost my most recent job suddenly, having had an extension waved over my head until the last day(October 7th). Now I'm excited to have more time for art, but I am also feeling a rush to get a new job ASAP as I've been living paycheck to paycheck. I dream of doing this work full time, I'm just scared it's not quite there yet and I worry that I come off as scammy or dishonest when I anticipate more stability around the corner.
Second, I've been struggling with the Patreon. It's taken me a while to come to terms with this, but from what I've seen Patreon is not intuitive at all from the creator end. It doesn't do a good job of organizing addresses, emails, showing who or who isn't subscribed to me, or organizing and displaying the work I put on there. I've been really shocked by this experience, since lots of big names use Patreon. It's been a great way to streamline support, but it's been unhelpful in every other regard. I would like to continue using it, but I will most likely post more wips or process videos there in the future.
Which brings me to my third point, zines. I love making zines so much, it feels personal and fulfilling and fun! However the Patreon issues make it harder to keep information in order about where to send zines, or even where to message folks about them. In addition to this, the post office has been a big barrier to me, oftentimes only being open at the same time as my dayjob. Making zines can take days, then sending them out is a whole other monster.
This work is so important to me. Drawing peoples fantasies, representing body types, creating work around sexuality and the human experience feels like what I'm meant to do. I've made comics since I was a kid. This is the dream to me. The friends I've been able to make through this work are so important to me, and the conversations have been invaluable. Not to mention fun! I wanna doodle, I wanna draw hot stuff, I wanna thirst over these dudes! I want to play!
But I also just want to be transparent about the barriers I'm working around to share that experience. I'm completely self taught, both in art AND in running shops, building websites, running 8 accounts, etc. I take a lot of time to learn the logistics of these things, and try to make them make sense for my relationship with y'all (I do not want to paywall my art!! I don't want to!!!). This year my desktop broke down (the main one I use for all paintings and digital art). I've paused my Etsy shops and my Patreon to try to catch up with things. Trying to learn to paint in a completely different program. Then lost my job with no savings.
At the end of the day I don't want anything to come between me sharing my art with you. I wish I could doodle a thing, take a picture, and post it here. No third party site, no shop, no subscription. Just sharing my art with you. I promise I'm trying to figure out how to stay as close to that as possible, and I want to thank y'all for sticking with me as I untangle all of that.
So, what can you expect in the near future?
I'm working on a couple of painting commissions right now, which you should be able to see in the next couple of days! I want to catch up on kinktober and get those posted as well. There's a comic commission in progress which I'm very eager to work on, and which I think y'all will be excited for! To ease the weight of the Patreon I think I may do less zines/polls there and more wips and process videos! If possible, I want to do more full colored work too.
Thank you again for enjoying my work, and if you have any input or tips my inbox is always open 🙏🫶💕
#long post#info#marco lore#i wish i had time to edit this and make it nice#i just wanted to be open with yall about how much work this takes and that im trying to make it more doable#i don't want to overpromise stuff with patreon or shops and if im late sending stuff i never ever want it to come off as intentional or mali#malicious or as a scam#im just trying very hard to like ...survive. financially. and then trying to make all the logistics of thos big machine work. and then keep#up with commissions and shops and printing and mailing#god i wish i had employees but jts just me#i hand draw everything and then post it here to the word press to the ig and crop and caption and tag#then to the Patreon if it makes sense to or to the tiktok back in the day#and the formatting is all different#and i get messages across all of these platforms and I'm trying to learn a new way of painting on the fly#on top of that im supposed to be running my two Etsy shops too which im not right now because..broadly gestures#my nervous system can only take losing a job so often. the rug was really pulled feom under me in this one. i thought id have more time#i don't want to sound like I'm whining and i don't want to give up on all of this#i want to be very very very clear that art is what i love and who i am and what i want to do#i want to be posting on the daily again#i just need to evaluate what that looks like everytime life changes#I'm seriously so grateful for those of y'all that have joined the Patreon or bought stuff from the shop i really don't mean to drop the ball#so many times#y'all have literally been the difference between me making rent or not and I'm so worried that i don't make enough art to give back to that#relationship#im trying my best#okay anyways im posting this
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we really are living in a golden age for chenford right now
#chenford#the rookie#the rookie spoilers#tim bradford#lucy chen#I’m comparing it to another tv couple from an old fandom of mine#in which one half of the pair left the show a literal decade ago#and yet every time we even hear a HINT of a possible reunion everyone rises from the dead and comes back here#like we were hurt so badly and will never move on#ever#I would commit so many crimes to get what we’ve gotten and are getting for chenford for this other couple#we had to deal with character assassination and fake deaths and offscreen stuff and YALL IT WAS A MESS#I just#I feel like I’m constantly saying this#but it is so nice to be a fan of a ship that gets actual content and is respected and valued by the show and the network#bc that has NOT been my experience in the past#my deepest apologies for this rant in the tags#all of my love to chenford#they give me hope#yes their angst era is still the golden age
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I spent the last, what, 1? 2 hours? Resetting my game over and over to convince Genji to move in to Pietro's place. Now that I've finally did it, I'm a little sad to see my sheep clown gone 🥲
#Pietro has been here for what. 3 years now? Yeah#but i need a jock to have the full personalities and pietro just doesn't fit in as nicely as the other two lazies 🥺#i picked up animal crossing again last night for the first time since Halloween and oof. im getting the itch again.#had to spend quite some time taking down Halloween decorations. thankfully not too many weeds to pick#i have a lot of paths and flowers so.#i forgot if anyone here plays acnh but if yall need anything hit me up 👍#my island is pretty much completed and i got plenty of spare materials and moneys and stuff#(i am 5 pieces away to have the art museum done. that's literally all that's left 😤)#animal crossing#acnh
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Something that makes reading TOA so devastating is how fucking much Apollo feels about Everything. There’s so MUCH. Like I don’t even know how to describe it to you if you haven’t read the books yourself. He has so many complicated thoughts and emotions about just about everything and he cares about everything so much and there is just SO MUCH going on in his head. And yet none of it ever reaches his mouth!!
He almost never says what he’s feeling. What little comes out of his mouth about his thoughts barely even scratches the surface of what he actually means. Like he’ll be having a long ass monologue about how incredible someone is, showing a deep understanding of them as a person and empathizing with them so hard you’d almost think it’s projection but it’s not he’s legitimately just mind melding with this random person he met like a week ago and he’s thinking the softest, kindest thoughts about them like he knows they’re fucking incredible - and what comes out of his mouth is just like, “you’re a wonderful friend :)” AND ITS LIKE. THERES SO MUCH MORE UNDER THE SURFACE. the sheer admiration and adoration he has for everyone around him……… UGHHH!!! But he never VOICES ANY OF IT!!!!!! He never tells anyone about what Zeus did to him……. He never tells anyone except the reader about his realization that Zeus is abusive…. He never even tells commodus about how much he adored him, not then and not now… he refuses to tell anyone when he’s in pain or tries to justify the things he does when he actually had Decent Reasons for why he did something… I’m. I’M. AUGH. AHHHHH
HE DOESN’T EVEN TELL US ALL OF HIS THOUGHTS IS THE THING. THERES EVEN MORE THAT HE IS NOT TELLING US!!!!! THE FUCKING OCEAN OF FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS HE HAS ABOUT EVERYTHING IS THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION. I AM IN DISTRESS.
And YET…. Even what slips out of his mouth is so fucking devastating it is SO devastating. He’s so fucking kind and gentle with Harley and Meg and and other younger Demis and his kids… he’ll act like an obstinate idiot and then turn around say something that drags the core of the person he’s talking to into the light like nail on the fucking HEAD like he reached into their soul and gave them the words to express something that they were struggling to say aloud or that they didn’t even realize about themself. Around the 2nd book he starts putting voice to some of his feelings and thoughts about others and even that tiny fucking sliver is overwhelming to the people he’s talking to bc he’s SO. AUGHHHH
#this is why ‘reading the TOA books’ fics fucking slap btw. because as embarrassing as his thoughts can be#so many of them are just incoherent screaming about how he loves everyone around him. devastating#like imagine helping out ur loser deadbeat dad who you don’t really know much about bc he’s flighty and hard to read#and finding out ‘wow he cares about us a lot more than I thought’#bc he literally almost dies to save you/your siblings and keeps following you all around everywhere#but he’s still like. your weirdo absentee dad. u don’t know hardly anything new about him other than an apparent suicidal streak#and then u find out that the whole time he was whining about chicken nuggets or whatever he was internally sobbing abt how much he loves u#and every time u were nearby he was going ‘MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY… JUST AS INCREDIBLE AS THEIR MORTAL PARENT!!!! BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE SUN!#HOW DID I EVEN MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY. UNREAL. THEY CANT BE MINE!? BUT THEY ARE!!! LOOK AT THEMMM!!?!!! IM SO PROUD……#my beautiful perfect angels… all of their parents best traits and none of our worst…. I am Barely restraining myself from sobbing#i would give u the WORLD if my father wouldn’t kill me for it :(‘#and it’s like. wow. okay dad. um. would have been nice to know that when we were all dying in The War#Please Hug Me Though.#imagine being a Random Ass Demigod who didn’t go on a big special quest or something like you are literally just Some Guy#and finding out that this weirdo loser god u gave a sandwhich to or something thinks you are so fucking cool#your own parent doesn’t know ur name but Apollo knows u on sight and read ur soul within the 2 seconds yall talked and he thinks you rock#how are you supposed to respond to that.#snack time#toa#longpost
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ok good night butchlifeguard nation
#i am determined to do nothing at school tomorrow. if you want me to do something honestly get over yrself#(guy who has 2 honors and 2 ap classes tomorrow)#i might get to eat alone tomorrow which is nice. its just weird being On all the time#my engineering design class literally has a grade for being on#plus i just need to find something more entertaining to do at school than be on my phone or do work#so when i finish 8path (i think soon?) im getting the mobile game#if i ever post about spending money on it yall have to bully me. but ill see how it is without paying#if you dont know how adhd works: did you see that transition from 'im going to sleep' to 'i have hard classes' to 'video game'#literally a born yapper
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If you ever liked the story I wrote called Altered, please go check out Without Hesitation written by @raviolihailstorm !!! Rav wrote a spinoff of the original that I had written for them in the DNF Birthday Bash, and I am eternally grateful and incredibly honored to have something inspired from the story I wrote. It's has a bunch of George's POV with some bonus scenes from the original plot, so PLEASE go check it out!
#rav I say it all the time but when you first told me about it I literally dropped to the floor crumbled evaporated#you are so so nice to chat and work with and will always be thankful for this#YALL GO READ IT#dnf fanfic#dnf
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SO TODAY....
(THIS IS ONLY FOR ROSE)
#ok so like we had first 2 classes free ok like literally both the teachers did not come akshsjdh#anyways so like on wednesday 2-3 people in our class were discussing himym and i also joined them because I LOVE HIMYM#(himym is the sitcom how i met your mother)#sp hands guy heard us and was like what show are yall talking about and we told him and he was like okay ill watch#and he is a binge watcher apparently so like when we met today he was like ive watched till ep16 of season1#i was like bro????? how?????#anyways in 2nd free lecture he was like im gonna watch an episode of himym and i was like i wanna watch too#SO he gave me one of his earpods and WE WATCHED THE EPISODE TOGETHER AKSGSJDH#anyways after that hmm okay it was just like normal talking and all#but ya. TALKING.🤭#he is just like me he is also doesnt care about tea or coffee he is a water guy#HE ALSO HAS CAT. AND HE HAS SAME OPINION AND THOUGHTS ABOUT DOGS THAT I HAVE.#and when class was over me and some friends were talking by the shops near our classes ka buliding and hands guy joined later#and then we all group talked timepass for like 30 mins and then we were like its time to go home#so apparently the others all went one direction and me and hands guy were going same direction so we walked#so usually what i do is i walk a bit ahead of my class ka building because i get auto from there#and hands guy lives nearby so he just walks home#so today we were walking and talking and i walked SO much further more than i usually do because we were talking 😄#and thats all. today was nice.#gargi is keysmashing
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pics from like two days ago
#RANT ->#now that i FINALLY got my wifi installed lemme yall yall what happened🤦🏿♀️#so like an hour before i took these pics i was on the bus going back home from class right?#but since everybody and they mama is getting off from class too the bus was packed asf#and im like the last person to get on and there were no seats left BUT this one guy decides to get up and give me his seat#so i don’t have to stand#and im like okay he’s just being nice whatever whatever#and when the but gets to my stop i obviously get off so i can get my ass home#but lemme tell you#as im literally going ok the stairs to get into my apartment#tell me why this nigga i see this nigga from the corner of my eye tryna wave me down😐#he was calling for my attention and everything but i didn’t hear his ass bcs i had my earbuds on#anyways he was standing at the bottom of the stairwell like a dumbass and goes onto say ‘oh hi i just wanted to tell you that ur cute🤓’#and then he asks for my name and shit and then tells his#even though my ass did NAWT care to know that shit#and then ofc im like ‘what grade you in?🤨’#come to find out he’s a SENIOR??#after that i basically was like hell nah imma freshman dawg💀#and cuz this mf was hella lame he left and said sumn like ‘oh well have a good one even tho i still think ur cute🥹’#like bro you followed me all the way back to my building just to waste my time tf wrong witchu😐#me. [🧍🏿♀️]
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venting abt unimportant things in da tags ignore me
#yall im gonna vent about a boy#and some other things under here#cause i just made myself sad#anyway yeah idk a couple months ago i matched w this dude who messaged me asking abt my love for e and i was like very open abt it#and he wasn't judgemental at all he was very nice and we just like . talked abt whatever#we were talking for like a month or two nonstop like we messaged every day right#and i even told him it's okay if he doesn't message me everyday i don't mind and he's like but i like talking to you i wanna message u!!#and there was like 3 days i couldn't message him and i came back to see he missed me and he was like soooo sweet#and then he took me to get dinner and we went to his place and we literally hit it off so well??? like the chemistry was THERE#like we kissed and he was sooo sweet to me and then the holidays hit and his messages slowed down#and since then it got slower and slower and now he's just completely ghosted me and it's been a few weeks now#and i should get over it i know like im back to swiping on these stupid apps again but it just makes me so sad#because i really did like him and i don't know what i did wrong or if i scared him away#after leaving me on opened 3 times i just gave up like i got the hint i assumed he doesn't like me like that anymore#i saw something that reminded me of him and i got really sad#so now here i am#anyway i went on for tooooo long let me stop there lol
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heheh friends :)
#no seriously nothing like spending time and hanging out w friends alskdjfalskjh i feel so much joy#we were sending one of the other students off cuz he completed all his training and stuff so big celebration#it was a lot of fun honestly!! i really wanted to do a little get together so we could all just hang out#we also got ice cream after ;; v;; (they had weird flavors!!!! habby)#it was a nice time i guess i just needed to stop being a hermit in my depression LAKSJDAFLKSFH#friends tag#depression: nooooo you cant hang out w friends youre gonna be a bother!!!!! stooooop#today: :)#snow speaks#anyways its been a good night#except now i realize im like 20 x more of a nerd than i thought before#literally everyone else slacked off for this rotation and im out here stressing and anxious like T _ T yall couldve told me i couldve been#in on it alksdjfhalskjh yall....#and now. i have to make myself study. or attempt to#asdlafkjsdh basically! ride the high#but as soon as the shower happens im going nightnight#fuck around and play honkai some more ig LMAO
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