#Y'all know it. Everyone in the world knows it. And yes I'm in a relatively tiny subsection of it but still... The links are insane

[discreetmusic]

officially finished all work now until the 29th! had my second editing shift today and I managed to do more articles than anyone else, and with no notes from the proofers- got a lil shout-out from managing editor!

[platonically-loving-alastor]

Hazbin Top 5

I was going to make a top 10 character list, but realized after the first 5 I didn't know where to place anyone- But in case you're curious, some contenders for the remaining 6-10, in no specific order, were Angel Dust, Charlie, Emily, Niffty, and Sir Pentious. Now here's my top 5 with reasonings and appreciation for them all!

5. Lucifer

Obviously bro is relatable, not only for his awkwardness and hyperfixations, but he also happens to be the same height as I am at about 5'2" (according to the sources I've seen). Being the same height as Lucifer is my biggest flex lmao- I still have no idea why his hatred of Alastor seemed so instant. Like yeah, Alastor was trying to annoy him by being a better dad to Charlie, but the whole 'fuck you' moment happened before any of that started. Did he just sense the bad vibes off of him or what? Anyway, his awkwardness and desperation to connect with his daughter make for probably my favorite lines of the episode, such as the "Hey bitch!" and the whole "You like girls? So do I!" situation followed by him being so distracted he called Vaggie by the wrong name. Perfect comedy

4. Lute

I love her an insane amount for someone who shows up so relatively little with so few lines, but here we are. I've already made an entire post about her, here it is if you want it, so I'll keep this short (Spoiler alert: I failed). I actually don't think I mentioned just how attractive this woman is, so let's get that out there right now. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, about half the people I've seen react to Episode 6 have seen Lute without her mask, took a pause of recognition, and we all knew what they were thinking before the pressed play. Istg my taste in women (and sometimes even men, thanks Vox) is just "Can they murder me without a second thought? Yes? That's hot". My favorite line of hers is when she's hyping up the army with Adam and says "Rip Vaggie's cunt mouth out her ass!" and even Adam has to be like "damn girl chill what the hell-" She's so feral I love her so much

3. Rosie

Everyone needs a Rosie in their lives. I don't just mean a regular therapist, I mean a person in your life, friend or family member, who will talk you out of your downward spiral and gently call you out on why those paranoid thoughts are actually pretty unrealistic (the other side of the same coin would be Husk, he's just more blunt about it). I'm also still completely convinced she has some interesting and sad backstory based on how she was talking to Charlie and I need to know about it so bad. "It can be difficult to admit to things you're not proud of, especially if those things hurt the ones you love" Ma'am what did you do? I find it hard to believe it's just about the cannibalism. I don't know if in this instance, she's the one who hurt someone or someone else hurt her and she was the one who failed to forgive them, but either way I need answers.

2. Vox

Y'all know I love this man in more ways than one, he one the hottest Hazbin character poll for a reason. But I swear everything about this man makes me love him as a character more. First, I always love a technology based character, his electricity powers and literal screen head are the coolest thing in the world to me. He's voiced by Christian Borle, which was a fantastic choice, along with the glitched effect his voice gets when he's mad, I love to see it. Apparently it's also canon he can fly (with rocket shoes)?? He just keeps getting the best character design choices possible, this can't possibly be fair- The fact his first introduction was being done with Val, telling him to call tf down, and treating him like a child ("Now that's why they pay you the big bucks!") was a pretty good first impression for me lol, made even funnier when it was followed by him losing all sense of rationalism when Alastor entered his line of sight.

1. Alastor

The character my blog is named after, this should not be a surprise. Shockingly enough, despite my obsession for him and acknowledgement of his charming nature and generally attractive design, I' do not simp for him in the slightest'm not personally attracted to him in the slightest. I simp for a TV and yet apparently deer man with permanent smile is where I draw the line idk- The most I want from him is to be as good of a friend to him as Rosie is (well that and to touch his ears but that's a given). But this is another character I love literally everything about. Who would've thought the concepts of 'radio host', 'serial killer', and 'literal deer' would work so well together to create this dapper yet terrifying fucking cryptid. Not only can he be either incredibly scary or a silly guy, he can and has done both at once. Example: Episode 3 when he's just casually eating a deer carcass in his room (in which he summoned a whole ass bayou). I was genuinely so glad when the 'this face was made for radio' thing happened in episode 1, confirming that they were still gonna lean into his creepy-as-fuck distortion and general vibe he had in the pilot. He's horrifying and evil and I love that about him. Meanwhile he also says shit like "Now he's pissy, that's the tea" (definitely taught to him by Rosie) and kicks his legs on the bed like a schoolgirl as if he hasn't committed countless atrocities. My favorite character, everyone-

Wow I wrote more than I meant to for this, sorry about the essay-

[hey-itsjade]

UHM. sorry another post. can we also just talk about. Oppenheimer. I KNOW I KNOW EVERYONE'S BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY AND I'M LATE TO THE PARTY. but hear me out ok. i needed to mentally prepare myself for the pain AND the smartness lmao. I'm dumb guys, i needed to fully understand the movie. NOW SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO HADN'T SEEN IT TOO. (yet)

Yes it's absolute genius but it feels weird to call reality “genius”. What I want to say is just that i think everyone should watch this movie. It reveals a lot of stuff about atomic bomb, the why and the how behind it (obviously) but a lot of other things too. it talks about morals, guilt, the complexity of literally creating an atomic bomb that could cause worldwide destruction (in Oppenheimer's view) and agreeing to it being dropped in Japan's cities but not wanting it to be used then. because it's quite literally. DESTRUCTION. that morality of Oppenheimer was questioned so much throughout. Guy developed severe PTSD - i could just see it. Flashbacks. THE EXTREME NOISE AND THE TICK-TICK SOUND MY GOD. “President, i still feel the blood on my hands” - my God that line made me shed a few tears. ofc it was going to. i honestly didn't know how Oppenheimer would react after the bombing but on noticing his expressions, body language and just the complexity it was weighing on his mind i could clearly see it all. When he admitted to it i was just like “ofc you're gonna feel it you mf”.

I can totally understand people not watching this for their own mental health but i genuinely think people should see this creation. cause like. it's reality, it's history. i knew about the atomic bombing but literally never knew about the man behind it. (or men) idk how to explain it i just really think people should read about it, just know about it just like Einstein's theory of relativity. because that was something that Einstein really proposed irl. do y'all understand what I'm trying to say through this nonsense? I'm blabbering but yeah I can't express it.

lastly, the ending broke me when i understood it. Oppenheimer's sentence, roughly; “albert, i think we have destroyed the world with it, after all” and then his vision of the earth being swallowed whole by never-ending fire. AND THIS WAS BEFORE THE REAL EVENT HAPPENED. My God. The significance. also to think that Lewis Strauss really thought Oppenheimer's and Einstein's convo was about him. Lol. Not everything is about you, self-obsessed asshole! misunderstandings could really make a man act. hatred. that's what's happening though isn't it? war is still raging on (yes I'm talking about the ukraine-russia war, the israel-palestine conflict) . (btw, free palestine. if you're pro-israel pls get off my channel. )

Oppenheimer's vision is pretty much real. We're fucking destroying the world.

[suratan-zir]

long rant, very personal

nothing new honestly, I know y'all are sick of hearing the same lame story over and over again

sorry

You know how sometimes certain sounds, images or even smells can evoke some nostalgic memories from the past? It happens to everyone, right? To me, it doesn't matter if these flashbacks good or bad, it means I'm screwed either way. It's even worse when the memories are happy, because so many things are gone forever and there is no going back.

Recently I've been playing sims, and they were listening to the radio. I forgot that a long time ago I put some of my favorite songs in one of the folders, so the "Pop" station in the game has some real songs along with Simlish ones. I haven't listened to some of those songs in years.

Then that one song started playing, and an entire part of my life flashed before my eyes. I listened to that song a lot while on the road, during my weekly travels from my hometown in Donetsk oblast (where I was born and lived 'till I was 16) to Donetsk city, where my grandmother and other relatives lived, and where I attended some courses before the uni. I also listened to it on the road to another town, where my other grandma and my best girl friend lived, so I visited her every long holiday.

Why all these boring details are significant in any way?

Both intercity bus stations in Donetsk, which used to be my destination, no longer exist. "Zapadnyi" and "Pulitovskyi" they were called. "Zapadnyi" was located near the airport, so it was completely destroyed in battles for Donetsk airport back when russia first invaded us, in 2014. It wasn't even fully finished before being destroyed.

No buses or passengers there anymore.

"Pulitovskyi" station was not that far too, russian militants even blew up the bridge connecting the station with the city. To be honest, even when I lived in Donetsk, I no longer visited that part of the city, it was just too sad.

I know that it's not important on a surface level, all these places are just decorations, it's not the end of the world. But our memories, our lives consist of such decorations, random places on the map. When everything around falls apart and changes so suddenly, it feels weird and disorienting, most of the time I try to avoid direct contact with these changes, but I can't control my memory.

Fast forward to today, I will probably never be able to return to the city that I used to love so much. And my grandma no longer lives in Donetsk, she's "russian" now, along with brainwashing that often comes with such status. You already know it if you for some reason read my posts. She thinks that russia and putin are saving and liberating us here in Ukraine. I no longer call her "grandma" or call her at all, I have her blocked on my phone, our chat deleted. Funny enough, my ex friend also lives in russia now. Or so she was the last time I checked.

My other grandma from the town in Donetsk oblast left the country and is a refugee now. I have so many great memories of that town, if the russians will advance further in the Donbas (which they are trying to do) the town will become another Bakhmut, Vuhledar, etc. This is Mar'inka now, very close to the aforementioned town:

(and yes, this is a russian tank firing at a house, or what's left of it)

There was a town, now it's a lifeless desert.

I don't have that many memories, because I never had too much going on in my life. I know, it's embarrassing. Not only have I never been to other countries, I haven't even traveled much in Ukraine. My whole life until 2021 was in the Donbas region. Even my vacations were there, we didn't have money to travel. Every summer we would go to the Azov sea, which is now completely under the control of russia. What I wouldn't give to be once again on the shore of that godforsaken sea, even though I can now afford something better. I remember its smell and miss it so much. I was 18 when russia first came to my home to tear it apart. I couldn't live normally, I couldn't plan anything, I couldn't even buy furniture for my apartment because I only dreamt about leaving, and it was impossible to bring anything big with us through all the military posts from Donetsk. Years later, when we thought we are about to finally start living, traveling, enjoying everything that was taken from us for so long… yeah, you know the story.

Now life suddenly seems so short, it's passing by and I'm helpless to change anything. I'm so sick of living through this shit. Sick of the russians stealing my youth, my life, our lives, poisoning our memories, ruining everything around us.

I swear, I held it together before that fucking song started playing. I probably shouldn't post this, I have to at least disable reblogging, it's too embarrassing.

[shadowcrafter-28]

About my own concept for an extended story for the unreleased short, "The Spider Within," It'll still be about Miles having to face his demons (manifestations of his anxiety) in the form of a dark figure and spiders, but they will take a sinister turn with how I'm about to tell y'all.

There are multiple ways the story can go. I'll let everyone decide which fits best. I might need someone to help me write this, if I do it, so I don't mischaracterize anyone.

Btw, this'll be inspired by some horror films such as "Insidious," "A Nightmare on Elm Street," "The Boogeyman," "Smile," and "The Conjuring." Most involve paranormal activity, nightmarish visions or dreams, demonic entities, astral projection, and of course, possession.

As for the astral projection part, I thought of Miles walking around, outside of his body, looking for his relatives in the spiritual world. We'd know if Miles did this, he'd look for Uncle Aaron. So, I'll make separate concepts where Miles can astral project and one where he doesn't but still encounters the shadow figure.

So! Miles Morales struggles with certain things in his life that impact his mental health. These things include school, being Spider-Man, being a friend, and being a son. Of course, if all of this bothers him, he'd talk to his parents about it, especially his dad. However, he doesn't discuss it with them, yet, especially since one of those struggles involves being New York's hero. The only person he shares about being Spider Man with is his friends and Uncle Aaron. (All of this happens before summer break; two weeks before school ends.)

Miles's friends, Gwen, Hobie, Pavitr, Margo, and Ganke, all encourage him to talk with them but still exclude the hero part. However, Miles believes his parents would think he's still hiding something. And even if, in Miles' head, he told his parents he were Spider Man, they wouldn't love him the same. He keeps all this in until he finds the right time and words.

His friends have struggles of their own and tell one another about them, including Miles. Their relationships between each other, like Gwen and Margo, are the typical teenage girls that tell each other girl stuff and sometimes gossip about their lovers (and yes, Margo is super supportive of Gwen and Miles' relationship). Miles and Gwen went on dates too. The gang visited Miles from time to time, especially Gwen. Her spider sense always goes off when Miles felt a deep emotion or needs help. The gang would take turns or help out as a group in their universes if something big came up.

Miles dreams about his uncle and speaks to him about his problems. He can do anything in his dream, which means he teleports himself to wherever his uncle is, which is usually his old apartment. However, the visit takes a dark turn when he discovers the shadow monster messing up his dream.

The shadow is an evil being that originated from the spirit world and reaches into his victims through the darkness of their dreams. As they progress, the more physical the entity can become in the real world. This strategy feeds off the victim's struggles and trauma that has affected them, making it worse, to the point where the victim is unable to fight and is vulnerable to possession.

(Headcanon: Anytime Miles encounters something or someone new, he'd draw them into his sketchbook so he wouldn't forget. His encounter with the shadow gave him the opportunity to include it in.)

At one point, Miles' parents take him to the doctors for a CT scan and a polysomnography. Everything seems fine, except Miles being attacked in his nightmare. His parents, including the doctors, witness him fighting something they cannot see. His parents agree to let him spend the rest of his last week at home.

Through another and last week of school, Miles faces this entity every night. This causes his sleep schedule to fall apart as he remains awake to prevent haunting. However, since the nightmares have persisted on long enough, the shadow has become more tangible, causing hallucinations, physical appearances, random whispering, and physical injuries. For example, Miles would hear a knock on a door, open it, but find no one present. Or he would see something coming into his room and try to hide under the sheets or something to avoid it. However, the shadow would still attack him but nothing would be there afterwards.

(Headcanon: Miles used to sleep walk at a young age; sometimes, he'd be invisible as he walked around.)

After a bit, the final week of school ends and Miles' condition hasn't improved. His friends take notice but Miles brushes it off (the shadows whispering would change his mind sometimes to get his friends off his back.) One night the spirit finally possesses Miles' body, which makes him fall ill (cough; nausea; vomiting; headaches; chills; stuffed nose.)

(Wanna hear the scary part? The way this happens is Miles tries to sleep but undergoes sleep paralysis, with the entity confronting him and tormenting him. Miles fights back but the entity is strong enough to make him not fight back as he strangles Miles and possesses him. Gwen's senses go off, leading her to travel to 1610 and check on him. She catches him in the air with his eyes rolled to the back of his head (white). She'd attempt to enter the room once he drops down on the ground aggressively before his dad hurries into the bedroom to see his son on the floor, unconscious. Gwen would observe from the window, waiting for both his parents to leave (Mrs. Morales would inevitably enter the room to investigate).

Miles becomes ill the next day, and his friends visit. Gwen didn't tell everyone what she saw but she told herself that she must've been seeing things. However, she still senses something wrong with him but can't figure it out. Miles' behavior changes as the days pass and his friends worry.

He has told his friends and helped him conduct some research but haven't found anything. They don't believe him until the last minute when they discover he's possessed. They find more details about something like this having happened to another family years earlier.

The shadow would find a member of a functioning family and begin to feed off their most impactful pieces of trauma and the stress they've endured. After they get to their weakest point, they become possessed and are driven to murder their family with everyone believing it never involved possession. The entities' attempts at possessing the living have failed numerous times due to their victims dying. That means the same will happen to Miles and his parents.

Miles' appearance is pretty disturbing as he has bright yellow irises, black eyes, black goo leaking from his mouth, pale skin, darkened eye bags, a distorted voice, and dark veins that cover his neck, arms, legs, and face.

Before Miles kills his father first, he is stopped by his friends who try to stop him the Spider Man way, which involves a small goose chase running on the walls and combat between each other, with Miles getting the upper hand and defeating them. Of course, the Spider Gang aren't yet defeated and embrace Miles to get him to fight the entity. As they continue this method, it gets through to him. The strength of love and comfort banish the entity.

(I'm thinking of the shadow leaving Miles' body like a dark cloud exiting out of his mouth. Hobie lit it on fire so it stayed away. (He found out evil entities aren't immune to light so he decided lighting it on fire would help. Of course, this nearly burned the building down, but it turned out that not much was affected except Miles' parents, leaving them with concern; they're more worried about their son's safety.) After all this, Miles is alright, but left weak for a bit before getting back on his feet.

Still pondering whether Miles would tell his parents he's spider man and they accept him or he discusses his issues but not reveal him to be spider man (but his parents still support him with anything.)

I'm also still wondering how the story would differ if Miles could astral project and the spirit discovering him in the spiritual world. Then his friends have to reach out to Miles, possessed by the spirit, and free his soul from its confinement in the spirit world.

At the moment, I'm sticking with this concept. I’ll probably make changes once the short is released (very soon hopefully). Anyways, hope ya'll enjoyed and leave any suggestions and opinions!

[bloodiedrogue]

*eating my cereals and scrolling through tumblr* *notices summer's tumblr break has ended* SHIT! *throws the cereal away, puts suit on and quickly grabs microphone*

HELLO EVERYONE AND WELCOME BACK TO TUESDAY INTERVIEW!

I'm Annie and we're here —once again on a Wednesday because time is relative— with our amazing Summer! A round of applause for this blessing to our world!!!

Truth be told *checks notes* not much has happened since we last saw each other but DO NOT FRET! I have always have something up my sleeves and this time of year in Italy, it mostly tends to be stinkbugs... they're everywhere

ANYWAY, back to business! The latest chapter of "A lover's folly" hit ours (mobile and/or desktop) screens last Saturday, leaving behind a trail of broken hearts and readers being left with bathed breath. Summer, how do you feel knowing you were the cause of such despair?

Moreover, just to take a quick dip in the pool of your past, the first episode of Loki dropped last Friday, leaving many people swooning over Tom Hiddelston's magistral acting and also to the amazing and hilarious banter between Loki and Mobius (and let's not forget the adorable and entertaining addition of OB to the cast). Summer, as an (former) all-time Loki fan, what did you think of this episode? And you think we should expect from this season?

Before I leave, I would like to remind everyone watching that there are real people behind the fics you're devouring, who have real lives and tons of things to do and still manage to put out amazing pieces of work that you can freely enjoy. So be kind and don't pressure writers, okay? Otherwise, I will find you :) Anything else to add on this matter, Summer?

omg hi annie <3 happy tuesday but actually it's wednesday (thursday for you by the time you read this) interview! always happy to hear from you my darling bard. (i say as i literally talk to you pretty much every moment of the day we are awake...)

anyway, a lover's folly. mhm, yes, what a devastating chapter that i totally didn't meant to leave on a cliffhanger and fuck off for two weeks...

seriously, i feel kind of bad for doing that but also, i'm a slut for angst and wrecking people emotionally so i'm absolutely living for all the screaming i've received via dm. for real, i love every single one of you but man, y'all have had it too good with all the fluff i've been writing.

in terms of loki, i really liked the episode. obviously because of the past season i have my reservations in regard to fully enjoying it but so far it's promising? personally, i find the pacing to be a lot better already. as well as the dynamics between characters but that might be due to having more time to work together.

also ob is literally my favourite. i would die for him and i really, really, REALLY hope he's not just a side character that's been overly hyped and gets like no screen time. otherwise i will be sorely devastated.

that being said, aside from ob i hope a lot more of the newer characters get more screen time too. last season we only had a very small cast and while it was fine i definitely wanted more interaction and conflict, so hopefully we get more of that? also, i'd really like for the show to actually focus on loki in a more positive way but considering last season that might be wishful thinking.

(also nothing to add except love you and have a good day!!)

[neonstatic]

my given name and i have an interesting relationship. well, first off, i don't like. i dislike it, even. there's no doubt abt that. i've disliked it long before i understood i was nonbinary. it's just not a good name to me. i don't like the way it feels and tastes in my mouth. i don't like how it sounds out of people's mouths. no one has ever managed to say it in a way that makes it sound appealing. it's not a name you can sigh dreamily nor moan erotically. i mean, you can try, but however good you might sound, I'll be too distracted by the name itself. (i think i've learned to speak so delicately bc i've subconsciously wanted to sell my name as best as possible. yes, that is my name, it does kinda suck, but don't i say it so nicely?)

compare this to my sisters' names. they have sweet, feminine names that end in the letter a, and if you put all their names next to each other, you notice a certain motif. they just fit like a bouquet.

i feel like you can tell from my name alone that i'm the last child; they were running out of fkg ideas to follow the motif, so much so that they entirely dropped it! they couldn't even make my name end in an a!

i've never liked my name, always felt a little ashamed when meeting ppl bc i knew i'd have to introduce myself and see the split-second look in their eyes when they process and register (with difficulty) my painfully geriatric yet forgettable name. and it sounds so, so much worse in english.

egg or chicken? i think my name might've made me trans -- no, pls, let me elaborate: my name sounds like a typical old name, but spelled differently and thus pronounced differently, with none of the elegance and not even an a at the end. "oh, ray, why are you so obsessed w the a at the end?" bc i grew up surrounded by girls with pretty names that ends in a! and i was a little "girl" w an unpretty name that did not end in a! i legit had a complex abt that jabfjab everyone is aisha and christina and sarah and mona and then you got this mf whose name reminds you of a four-eyed mole in a tutu.

(in middle school, we had to write a story, and i named my protagonist, a 12yo girl, wayne. "that's not a girl's name," my teacher told me. "yes, it is." i said. and that was that.)

(i named that little girl after my favourite rapper at the time... y'all figure it out ✌🏾)

i've wanted to change my name long before i understood my gender. i had the spare thought that one day, maybe, i'd grow into it. i didn't like having and showing tits until literally two years ago. i think the chest tat helped. (frankly, most days i still don't. moving boobily is humiliating esp when you're a fast walker.) i've yet to grow into my given name. don't think i ever will. i rly dislike it. i'm no longer used to it either. i've changed my name at work and made so many new friends who know me as ray, and even my closest friends call me ray most of the time (or juno if they feel a lil frisky). and now i feel good introducing myself.

not only that, but i also experience ppl having fun w my name! nothing big, rly, but i do not have enough fingers to count the amount of ppl who make analogies abt the sun, the stars, or light in general. it's mostly silliness, i know, but i can't help feeling like others see that my name makes sense for me too. ray is a name that fits me. and i love it! yes, everyone does the "ray of sunshine" thing but it never gets old! never, do you hear me?! it's the best thing in the world to me!!!

(still, there are two things i like abt my given name... first, it's a callback to my parents' names. my dad also has a very interesting name but i'd rather have his than mine. another name better exprienced in french. second, my mom and i share a nickname. i found out when i was a teen and a relative called out my family nickname (or, well, one of two), only for my mom to respond. i love love love nicknames, bc that is what made me discover my chosen name. and i love that my mom and i share a nickname. it feels sentimental to me. idk how to explain it. i esp love when we use it for each other in casual. it's fun and lovely.)

[lennjamin-o7]

(same anon as the one who asked what about techno putting on the crown) honestly, I'm not sure what questions to ask because it's such a broad topic, but i'd love to hear your rambles about it? (I'm most interested in the religion, history, etc parts, but I'm keen to listen nonetheless :D)

YES!!! AN EXCUSE FOR ME TO RAMBLE! THANK YOU ANON!

How about we go religion, first, because I'm feeling that!

Obviously, from the little bits and pieces, y'all know its polytheistic. There are quite a few gods. But it doesn't have a structure like most pantheons that I know of. There isn't, like, a King of the Gods, no ruler, no heirarchy.

There are only binaries.

For every godly aspect there is an equal and opposite godly aspect.

For every God, there is it's Mirrored God that hates their guts.

Winter vs Summer

Joy vs Despair

Foresight vs Foolishness

Life vs Death

Day vs Night

You get the picture.

Every phenomenon in the world is because 2 opposing gods are fighting/arguing. Night and Day constantly fight. Wealth and Poverty constantly fight. A God and it's Mirror will always disagree. It's in their nature. They literally CANNOT agree. They will always be diametrically opposed.

So, if the gods are constantly arguing over EVERYTHING, how does anything get done? How is a winner ever decided?

Two reasons. The first is that just because a god has control over a situation, doesn't mean they have to constantly exert that control. The universe is vast and most gods have more than one aspect they preside over. Like, the Blood God, for example, is the god of Blood, Warfare, Slaughter, and Justice. The Blood God might not be as interested in exerting control over the kid with the skinned knee as much as taking control of a battlefield. They have priorities. They're fickle. They choose what they care about.

The second is because there is technically ONE God that has no Mirror. They are the only one because they have no Aspect. They don't rule over anything except themself. They aren't divided.

Humans call them Prime, like a number that is divisible by only itself and one.

They have no dog in the fight, so any disagreement is decided by Prime.

Even though Prime has no jurisdiction over justice or law or whatever, most countries have some form of alter to prime in their judicial branch.

Now, obviously, some countries hold certain gods in higher esteem than others. Scywar holds The Blood God as their patron, you can probably guess which goddess the Sleeping Empire is devoted to. But, for the most part, all gods are worshipped by everyone. They will have temples scattered across a country devoted to hundreds and thousands of gods. There are so many.

But the god that has the MOST temples is Prime. Simply because they are the arbiter. They aren't a king or anything. But they break any ties.

So, say you are worried about your sick relative. You would pray to the god of healing so they would take your request as a priority, but then also to Prime to judge on that god's side.

So yeah, its a pantheon without a head, just a lot of rivalry lol.

[saiikavon]

I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. It's my JORB.

For the asks. Let's do Macadamia because I like to cause problems.

1, 12, 6, and 2

"the character everyone gets wrong"

Oh yes. Shots fired.

Everyone is writing Deku wrong. (Disclaimer: not literally. There are always exceptions. HOWEVER.)

I figure it's because he's such a nice kid and because his goals align so much with All Might, who is tempting to place as an authority figure that always knows best. And don't get me wrong, All Might is a good, noble person and Deku is a genuinely good kid, but he's also a kid. A kid who was bullied and belittled for a good portion of his life and that's made him into a person who is afraid to trust his own judgment and one who favors appeasement over compromise. He emulates his heroes because he has little confidence in his own strength and does not recognize his own accomplishments. This does not an emotionally-mature person make.

It's also tempting to compare him to Bakugou, in this regard, because the series does kinda want you to do this, too. And it's easy to fall into the trap of "well Bakugou is the mean one, so it's obvious that Deku is more emotionally-mature." Wrong. They both need to work on self-reflection, it's just that Bakugou also has certain amends to make to people he's hurt, Deku being at the top of the list. If Deku is further ahead, it's because he's more capable of forming positive bonds on his own.

I also don't believe Deku actually knows Bakugou as well as is believed. They've known each other a long time, sure, and both pay a lot of attention to each other's progress, but both for relatively shallow reasons. Deku sees Bakugou as an ideal in terms of strength, and Bakugou sees Deku as a manifestation of his own weaknesses. Deku had not a single clue what Bakugou was feeling deep down until Bakugou broke down during their fight after the provisional license exam. And why would he? Deku's got his own internal battles to fight and Bakugou's never bared himself like that to anybody.

Okay now I'm done.

"a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom"

Bakugou is a bottom. Oh it's easy to say he wants to top, but no no no. What he wants is control, what he wants is to be worshiped like a god. What he wants is for his partner to make this shit worth his time.

Also you can't tell me he doesn't get off on being a brat.

"which ship fans are the most annoying?"

Dekubaku fans. Most popular ship in the fandom usually gets this title. Worst offenders of "getting Deku wrong" and they keep shoving him in with other pairings when I'm tryna get a break.

"the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them"

Y'all sleeping on Twice. Y'all sleeping SO HARD on my boy *Twice*. And whatever, I get it, villains like Dabi and Shigaraki are more narratively important and probably more interesting to look at. Here's the thing, though: while every other villain in the League is throwing a tantrum and trying to act like they have some kind of great goal in mind, Twice is out there just doing his best and being a good team member. He knows he and everyone else is fucked in the head, but that doesn't matter, they're family and he's gonna look out for them, be the best little brother/big brother/weird uncle/whatever they need him to be. And I love him SO MUCH for it. Someone get him some tea and a bedtime snack, he deserves the FUCKING WORLD.

[kingsofhellfire]

Modern Steve in the Past AU

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Y'all my brain keeps spiralling with "rip Eddie Munson you would have loved critrole" & then going "I want a modern Steve having to navigate the 1980s who can actually think 'rip Eddie Munson you would have loved d&d shows'"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

In no particular order-

-steve is stymied by stick shift, and part of the reason hes territorial over his car is bc it's NICE & it's AUTOMATIC. if he has to figure out first vs third gear or find out what neutral actually does he will lose his shit all over the pavement

-i think it'd be funny if he referenced memes every once in a while or said things like "lmao" out loud & to everyone else sounded absolutely incomprehensible

-if he listens to any podcasts I want him to listen to behind the bastards & dungeons & daddies- not a bdsm podcast

-"yeah yeah four dads from our world flung into the forgotten realms on a quest to resume their lost sons, we've all heard it" "I'm sorry, we have NOT, who are you and what have you done with Steve"

-addendum- this really stresses him out in s4 with favorite songs like. How's he gonna say "my favorite song won't be made for about ohh 20, 30 years"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Okay now I'm actually mapping this modern Steve nonsense out. Bear with me now I cannot put this genie back in the bottle

LEGOs Stranger Things:

-UD is frozen in time, we've all seen that used as a convenient time travel/stop death plot device

-we can have some modern day UD shenanigans. As a treat

-doesnt matter how Steve gets to Hawkins it just matters that he does, and it's prior to 1983 now

-hes like hang on didn't aunt (someone) & uncle (whoever) live here? Dad talked about them occasionally. A lot of stuff happened in this town right?

-the point is- the Harringtons have not fucking changed, this house is empty 90% of the time

-steve is flying by the seat of his pants here but is like Yeah I'm uh. Housesitting for my aunt & uncle. Right.

-it works out bc this is fiction and it's convenient for me. Steve Harrington, nephew of the Harringtons who ostensibly live in loch Nora, is established

-you gotta have something to do when you're trying not to think abt the dread & fear of everything falling apart! Podcasts are out so sportsball it is

-people probably don't question him super much bc he's pretty & charismatic

-and then s1 starts & steve gets sucked into The PlotTM

Vega:

Wait so, he's Steve from the future, who ends up in the 80's and just kinda house squats at his relatives' house? I can vibe with that!

Mizaku Ito:

say, his fav song... could it be https://open.spotify.com/track/50Cf2eYv8zT3v2HAkwhIiL?si=03639ef2affb4aae

idk, i just want this dork to vibe to somehting silly ig 😅

plus, we know he likes banana's

Vega:

YOOOOO that song is norwegian!! it's from my country!! 🤩 love to see some rep out inthe wild lmao

Mizaku Ito:

steve as a eurovision fan, anyone?

Vega:

YES :yellsteve: he'd be so into it! The politics, the drama, the unhingedness of it all

kesbird:

god the vine and tiktok references he'd make

Mizaku Ito:

conchita wurst

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 3:54 PM

I love the Steve from the future idea omg

Vega:

Steve, driving Robin to school- chuckles Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does!

Robin- :biconfusion: are you an idiot, Steve??

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 3:58 PM

Everyone just being like 🤨 when he makes a vine reference but they chalk it up to the concussions lol

Mizaku Ito:

the dad jokes

LEGOs Stranger Things: THATS IT THATS THE VIBE

kesbird:

Steve very upset that he didn't learn the like lotto numbers or something helpful like all he's got is vine references and a really good following on tiktok in like 40 years

@LEGOs Stranger Things I need this fic so bad lmao

He deffo would invest in apple though early on just like "guys TRUST me"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

LMAOOO I can try but this is gonna be the best you'll get from me

Oh my god the common hc is that Steve's a cubs fan right

Bc before 2016 their last win was in 1908

Like I'm imagining Steve going "wait I should know who wins a world series when right?" & drawing a fucking blank bc it's never the goddamn Cubs

Mizaku Ito:

he can still bet on their outcomes right?

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Yeah he can it's just not the like guarantee

Vega:

then 2016 finally rolls around and he's like this is my year ??

rainbownerds:

Steve the back to the future fan who ends up going back to the 80s and has a whole fanboy moment. Maybe Dustin finds out sometime before season 3 in canon time and Steve quotes doc brown to sound smart until the movie comes out and Dustin yells at him about it

kesbird:

pffft that's so hilarious and we know how he is about quoting things lmao

rainbownerds:

"I dunno how it happened, Henderson! Maybe there was some kind of fluxy catheter or one point fifty three jiggle-whats of plutonium around but somehow I got here"

kesbird:

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just use jiggle and catheter while trying to explain time travel. Jesus Steve"

if there were catheters and plutonium involved I don't wanna know." "I don't know just time travel shit dude!" OMG dustin once he finds out keeps pestering steve on the plot to sequel movies

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

What if Steve kept getting mixed up on what year movies or songs were released too?

“Oh Madonna is great, I love Vogue!”

“What?”

LEGOs Stranger Things:

"look, closest I get to nerd science is Jurassic park"

"Steve you READ?"

"Oh my god it was a BOOK??"

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 4:48 PM

Ok wait but what if he accidentally made references to the LOTR movies lol

rainbownerds:

Steve accidentally spoiling everything because he can never remember what happened in which installment

kesbird:

FACTS

Kingdom Kai:

Okay but people asking Steve for the LOTR movie cast and like ecery big name the response is who

Mizaku Ito:

Orlando Bloom! You know, from the pirates stuff!

Kingdom Kai:

In 86 Orlando bloom was ten lmao

Mizaku Ito:

But would Steve pause to think and do the math on that xD

Oh! Vecna! Steve will say they'll need his jar of dirt! And nobody will get it because potc isn't a thing yet!

Kingdom Kai:

Lbr Steve would have no idea how old anyone is without google

Mizaku Ito:

I don't either

rainbownerds:

"ah shit, I see what's happening here. Uhh who's the old dude again?"

Mizaku Ito:

Wanna bet he calls sir Ian McKellen "sir Kelly"?

Vega :

"Oh yeah i really love that part where arwen saves frodo and they're being chased across the river by the ringwraiths!" "That was glorfindel, what did you smoke, steve??"

Gorgeousgreymatter:

LMAO

the toe fact

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Okay but how does a guy that could have known what persona 5 was explain how this whole vecna situation was giving him major persona vibes

Gorgeousgreymatter:

he would know that

Mizaku Ito:

"never heard of glory belt before, whose that?"

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 5:05 PM

Steve has no idea who Tom Bombadil is despite making numerous lotr references

kesbird:

I love the idea of steve like not thinking and making an lotr joke and eddie just spinning around like "you read the books????" and steves like no but I watched the movies and eddie is so confused because he cannot IMAGINE steve watching that old animated one

LEGOs Stranger Things:

"oh yeah viggo mortensen was hot as fuck, they used the take where broke his toe kicking that helmet"

rainbownerds:

I mean Steve canonically just calls actors by names of other characters they play he'd call him magneto and make the kids little nerd brains melt

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington: grond was more of a dad to me than my real dad was

Vega:

I was thinking that too! him and eddie bonding over lotr until steve goes Tom BombaWHO?? and eddie is very confused

Mizaku Ito:

The... Door break thingy???

Gorgeousgreymatter:

steve's smeagol impression

kesbird:

oh god he would have one

jesus

Mizaku Ito:

"it burns us precious!"

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

Ok but Steve knows who Figwit is right lol

Gorgeousgreymatter:

dustin: do people in the future think that's good

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Yeah I think maybe that's just my friend group that makes "that's my dad Grond" jokes then huh

rainbownerds:

"I swear that's what he sounds like!!"

kesbird:

Ok but Steve just starts making shit up about the future he's like "harrison ford plays smeagol actually no make up"

Madonna's in it as the elf woman

Gorgeousgreymatter:

AHHHHH

Mizaku Ito:

How a out Ronald McDonald running for president... And winning!

Gorgeousgreymatter:

dustin calls him in the future when it's finally cast like you son of a bitch

kesbird:

lmao can you imagine them hearing that they are releasing the lotr movies soon and all of the party being so scared because Steve has been feeding them lies since the 80s

LEGOs Stranger Things:

He's been keeping that sucker charged!! He's allowed to have a Nintendo switch & a phone with a USB-C charger in a little bag when he gets kidnapped. I'm allowing him that bc I need him to be like "well at least I'll have free time to beat persona 5 royal" or smth

kesbird:

God Steve being an EDM music kind of person though like straight up likes club music and when the others first have a listen to it they're like????

wynnyfryd || moo moo! — Yesterday at 5:25 PM

future steve is to blame for eddie’s eurotrash phase

kesbird:

YEP

LEGOs Stranger Things:

I'm allowing him whatever video games I have downloaded on my 512 gb memory card bc I'm imagining Dustin finding out that he has a little machine that has 32 gb naturally & 512 GB REMOVABLE MEMORY, SMALLER THAN A METACARPAL

Also bc I have Hades downloaded & he deserves to have the Beat the Shit Out Of Your Dad game

kesbird:

Dustin would wanna study it like a bug but steve won't even let him breathe near it "because if this thing breaks and I have to wait like 30 years to play this game I'm gonna lose it henderson"

Gorgeousgreymatter:

That's what I'm saying!!! DUSTIN WOULD SCREAM

Mizaku Ito:

Will that make them think he's from, idk, 2180s?

Gorgeousgreymatter:

omfg those dumbasses imagining full on jetsons

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Yeah lmao Dustin's like I draw the LINE at this 30 YEARS FROM NOW dogshit

Mizaku Ito:

Because let's be real, technology has been making leaps

Gorgeousgreymatter:

yeah dude we all have personal robots in the future. or we did. until they started getting smarter.... (Dustin: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN)

Mizaku Ito:

They wouldn't believe him about musk sending a sports car up into space either

Gorgeousgreymatter:

I wouldn't believe anything that's happened between 2016-now lmao

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Being fair I also do not want to believe it. Fucker

Gorgeousgreymatter:

or i would and be really sad about it :sNort:

kesbird:

Lmao steve forgetting when things happened so he's like "Yeah and they sent a man up to the moon!" "That's already happened Steve" "Oh... well they sent a sports car up there too!"

Mizaku Ito:

"honestly I'm just glad i escaped the pandemic by coming here"

No further explanations

kesbird:

dude remembers he's gonna have to go through that pandemic bullshit AGAIN

wynnyfryd || moo moo! — Yesterday at 5:29 PM

just mumbles “have the murder hornets come yet?” and ominously walks out

kesbird:

when it first starts becoming a thing and people are liek "It'll blow over soon 😌 " and steve is already ferally buying everything in bulk and has at least like 30 cozy pajamas for the long haul

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Eddie & Robin like. I have some bad news for you abt that

kesbird:

"I'm just glad there isn't acid rain yet"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

The party are like. Literally almost nothing that's come out of your mouth has been promising

Mizaku Ito:

"they were working on bringing back the mammoths when i left"

wynnyfryd moo moo!:

oh noooooooo future steve knowing how bad 80s hair products are for the environment

and like, probably your hair lol all the flammable af hairspray

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

Ok but my hurt/comfort brain is now picturing Steve comforting Robin with news about queer rights

kesbird:

Dustin- "Well if we are actually believing Steve then there are soon going to be * squints at notes * murder hornets, a plague, acid rain, and a robot uprising so-"

Mizaku Ito:

"we'll have to wait until the turn of the century, but as soon as they legalize gay marriage, I'm flying you and whatever girl you'll be dating to the Netherlands for your wedding"

O. Wha. what about Dahmer

Like, with the big deal being made about the show, i can see Steve having watched it... And now he's in the time period where Dahmer's.... Dahmering.

LEGOs Stranger Things:

YIKES

What I'm hearing tho is that this all comes out in the wash to the scoops troop in S3 & to the party at large more or less during s4

kesbird:

Y’all this came up on my TikTok and it just fits with what we’ve been saying lol

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

Oh god I just remembered about Schwarzenegger being a governor... that's totally one of those ones the party wouldn't believe until it happened lol

kesbird:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV5yxyw/

TikTok

Miller on TikTok

It all could have been avoided if some just handed him a koosh ball #eddiemunson #strangerthings #fidgettoys #theyhe

Miller on TikTok

kesbird:

At this point they have like a betting pool on which crazy thing Steve is right about and what he’s just making up

messessentialist [sadie!]:

i will never catch up with future steve but i hope you all had FUN

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Hoping & praying that Steve's seen the "shit tier ugly ass elf" post bc i. Hang on. I was abt to say I NEED or see him reference it. But then I realized I'm the captain of this goddamn frigate

kesbird:

LOL

abby:

wait. if steve's phone has modern-day internet in the Upside Down...is he gonna start posting tiktoks?

"sorry i dropped off the face of the earth, guys, i just time traveled to 1983. P.S. do y'all think that alternate dimension monster bats can have rabies? My friend is worried"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

On one hand I'm erring on the side of no bc itd probably drain his battery too much & break his NDAs. But on the other hand

On the other hand. It is SO funny to me to think abt steve going "demobats stole my fucking liver. Can't have SHIT in Hawkins!!!"

[bawdybooster]

I wanna use infinite void (the domain expansion) on you. /Aff

*Searches up Infinite Void Domain Expansion*

Thanks??? I don't know Jujutsu Kaisen (I just "work" here) but the thought of having your mind experience complete information overload is conceptual intriguing and horrifying, so I'm glad it's noted as being done affectionately.

Anyway I'm gonna bounce off this ask to hit y'all with a similar information overload by giving everyone an update about where I am in this WalMart of a World below the cut okay thanks byeeeee

At the moment, I'm about a week out from my second-to-last semester of college which is looking to be very busy in terms of course load, extracurricular activities, working on campus, and well... everything. One of my classes will involve writing a Feature-Length Script among a few other heavy projects.

So if requests are being responded to slowly at the moment, things will slow down even more around here.

Like, Paint-Drying Slow.

One-Hit-Knock-Out-On-A-Blissey-In-Gen-IV Slow.

S l o w .

Plus, it doesn't help that I am at the whims of inspiration. I am not always in a hypnokinky mood and don't engage with this Account 24/7/365, hence the queue. It keeps me (relatively) active even when I'm away. My focus is here, there, and everywhere, all at once. One day my inspiration will push me to write some HypnoFic. The next, I'm being pushed to write something else. Repeat ad nauseam.

Which brings me to the Requests.

I was... hesitant to start openly taking requests. I'd been doing them before but without much advertising. Folks would send me an ask talking about an idea, and I'd respond with some writing attached. Then one day, I thought "Well, it wouldn't hurt to mention them somewhere, right?"

Yeah... right...

Sometimes a request grabs onto me and I hit the ground running with it, and it gets answered pretty much the same day it gets sent in.

Sometimes a request features subject material I don't feel qualified to write about, let alone have any interest in writing about.

Sometimes they're just... there. And I leave them for a while. Eventually, inspiration strikes, and BOOM! I'm writing like a madman!

Don't get me wrong -- I love taking asks and requests. Answering them is a blast! But like, not all of them are going to match perfectly with me. And I've written myself into a corner by saying, and I quote,

"I can guarantee all prompts will be answered to the best of my ability, but I can't ensure it'll happen at a timely rate."

- Literally Me this past Wednesday at 8:12 in the AM, answering an ask half-asleep and unaware of the consequences of my actions.

So where do we go from here?

Simply put, I can't answer everything. I can respond to all the asks and prompts sent in, giving thoughts and feedback on some of them to essentially "Yes, And..." everyone's ideas. Some of them might latch onto me to the point that I feel the urgent need to write up something for them, but I know for a fact it cannot be all of them. Writing stories for each and every one of them is a surefire way to get burnt out on writing, which I, in the most literal sense of the words, cannot afford to let happen.

So yeah.

We can't do it all.

[lonelyleliel]

Damn this is a really intriguing discussion! Don't know if anyone will read this, but here's my breakdown.

“…if you cannot discuss or describe your current beliefs without going into a tangent about Why This Other Religion Sucks, you are still existing within and measuring your beliefs by that other framework.” - @breelandwalker

That’s such an AWESOME statement within itself. What both @breelandwalker and @aeternalight are discussing are the factors that affect a person’s extrinsic and intrinsic religiosity.

Read More below, but if tl;dr: All arguments are antiprejudice and pro-healing trauma, so why are y'all fighting? Lol. What your reasons are for being a witch/pagan/etc. "should" be is debatable, because separating our pain from our path isn't likely, but if you wanna do that, then you do you, boo.

Intrinsic religiosity is all about having a belief that is for the betterment and stability for that person. Their values are relative rather than absolute, understanding that their values aren't the same as everyone else's and don't need to be. There isn't the desire to push others to conform to their beliefs because it isn't needed to validate the benefits of their path.

Exclusive religiosity is basically a "mean girls" club, but religious, and sadly we're all too familiar with it. The faith itself becomes a catalyst for a sense of superiority via faith-based movements. Making others conform and punishing those who resist them validates those movements.

OP is advocating for intrinsic religiosity by addressing how one will end up measuring their beliefs by another belief's framework if their reason for changing their beliefs is solely on the basis of hating another faith.

@aeternalight is also advocating for intrinsic religiosity by addressing how extrinsic religiosity was an influential factor in adopting their new belief. Being against extrinsic religiosity will be a fundamental part of their current faith not just because of trauma, but because their experiences with extrinsic religiosity were beyond their control.

OP isn't neglecting religious trauma, but rather encouraging others to not let their hate against another belief be what defines one's path, most likely so you can get the most out of your path and your craft. Additionally, OP warns that if your hate for another faith is the foundation of your new belief, that could grow into something more extrinsic than intrinsic. Are you a pagan or witch because you want to be a member of the "we're better than the Christians" club, or are you a pagan or witch because Christianity wasn't for you or for some other reason? (I'm pretty sure that's what the "pick me witch" line was about. Y'all are thinking too hard about that one lmao. It's clearly a joke.)

On the other hand, @aeternalight 's response shows that whatever being a witch or pagan "should" be isn't that cut and dry. They've made it clear that Christian dogma truly hurt them, so maybe their craft helps them process it. If anyone's into baneful magic, we know that hate, resentment, and the like is great for things like hexes, curses, or whatever we want. So sure, there is a risk of becoming exactly what you hate and thus creating blindspots in your own perception of your belief, but why can't that be part of the process of understanding your belief? Can one's path and their pain ever be totally separated?

"So yes, my beliefs are about dismantling structures that christianity has created, my beliefs are about living in shades of grey, rather than a black and white belief system. My beliefs are about reeducating and pushing the world towards a more safe place." - @aeternalight

Sometimes our pain can be so deep that we can't completely heal or separate from it, but we may resonate with a belief that turns our pain into power. @aeternalight is an awesome example of that. @breelandwalker doesn't disagree with their resolve, but thinks that power will reach its highest potential if it's perceived as more than just pain from the past. I mean really guys, these experiences coexist for most of us and each experience is subjective, of course. I really see no need to bash OP or anyone who disagrees/agrees with them since we're not only seeing for ourselves how expansive the exploration of one's craft can be, but also, at the end of the day, all sides of this argument are against prejudice and for healing trauma. Sounds good to me.

I'm not taking sides, I just like deconstructing arguments and I love discussing topics like these from a psychosocial viewpoint. No intent to offend or play peacemaker here. My personal opinion though? Who decides what your belief "should" mean anyway? I'm a weird ass agnostic that's absurdist AF, and I'm practicing magic and all that. I can't really decide if my beliefs need a meaning. I've seen too much shit idfk lmao. But of course, there are fundamental/traditional meanings to particular beliefs that should be respected, so I get the general point.

But still yeah review history via unbiased sources. Critical thinking is sexy.

Friendly reminder that if you cannot explain, discuss, or celebrate your beliefs without shitting on someone else's, you neither understand nor truly believe in your chosen path.

Yes, even if you have trauma.

And no, you don't get to claim the suffering of people who died during witch trials because those were not secret pagan witches.

Also, learn your history. Not everything was originally a pagan sex festival, the Wheel of the Year is a recent invention, Christians did not steal our holidays, and cultural development doesn't happen in a vacuum.

Don't be a pick-me witch. You're better than that. So do better.

[foodiemeja]

Pairing: Stucky x stutter!reader

Warnings: self harm, suicide note, yelling, break up(kinda), crying, disagreement, PTSD, angst, ddlg, needles, gun shot, wound, injury, ED, alcoholism, torment, stutter, self doubt, death.

[A/N] I'm sorry if I messed up on any words. Hope you like it <3 THIS IS MY FIRST ANGST SO IM SORRY IF ITS BAD. TWIST AT THE END 😣

As you sat at the conference table in your assigned chair, you felt the heat and pressure of every one looking at you. Then you looked up from your lap to see tony stand up and start to yell. " Are you mental y/n!? Can you do nothing right!" Tony screamed at you, looking you dead in your eyes. He was furious. Not even furious, he was ballistic. You had fucked up so bad, you wouldn't even be surprised if they kicked you off the team. "You are an Avenger! Did you not know that? You do know what your fucking job is right?!" He asked. You slowly opened your mouth, your throat feeling dry as you spoke, "Yes s-sir, I do". Tony threw a half filled file at you while everyone, including your raging boyfriends stared at you. "W-what is this?" Your voice hoarse and low.

"Oh this? It's just the kid you killed!". Your heart shattered. You felt your whole world crumbling down as you opened the file.

Luis Carrillo

Age: 17

Sex: Male

Occupation: Collage & part time fed Ex driver

Relatives- Aunt, 2 Cousins, Uncle

The rest of the file was his resume and hand written letters to Tony about him getting a better job and getting out of the shit hole he was in. But that would never happen, since you killed him. You ruined his chance to do anything with his life. You are terrible. You should have stayed at your post. You should have waited for the signal. Tears welled in your eyes as you looked into Tony's for answers. "Y'all are all dismissed except Bucky, Cap, and Y/n". Everyone left with disgusted faces looking at you. You felt like a parasite, like you needed to be gotten rid of. "It's revolting to even look at you y/n" Steve said. Rivers of tears rolled down your red cheeks.

You couldn't blame him. It was your fault. All that kid wanted to do was get help. But you thought he was a HYDRA agent. You couldn't believe yourself. The sudden thought sickening you to the point where you were gonna start to gag. "L/n" Tony said. He didn't even call you by your first name anymore. "You will be assigned paper work, mission fill outs, and being a equipment carrier, you will no longer go on missions since you are incapable of doing what you need to do" Tony stated with a firm and enraged tone. "We can never, ever have mistakes like that or like you on the team" Steve said making you lose breath.

"M-mi-mistake?" you questioned. "Y'all are supposed to have m-my back, y'all are my boyfriends!". "We are your captains!" He yelled at you. "You are dismissed, I don't want to see your face L/n for at least a week" Tony stated sitting back down in his chair and you running out the door. You didn't go to the shared room between you, Bucky, and Steve. You went to your room. It was cold and uncomfortable. You took down the photos of your boyfriend's because you didn't want them looking at a monster. That's what you were. A monster. You went to the shared room before your two boyfriends got there and packed all your stuff that was in that room and you made sure to take your blankets, stuffy's, pillows, and all your snacks. You walked back to your room, then you felt a breath taking ache of pain throughout your whole left side.

During the mission after the incident, a few moments later a HYDRA agent heard the shot and spotted you. You were shot in your left side by a true HYDRA agent. Your pain was agonizing. You went to doctor cho before the meeting, who said she could do nothing. Not even a doctor would help a relentless murderer. You didn't blame anyone for treating you the way that they did. You said thank you anyways and went back up to your room. You took off your clothes, grabbed the tweezers, and the sewing needle since that's all you had, and some chloride. You disinfected everything before putting it on your tender skin. You made sure to clean the area of the wound so nothing got infected. The bullet had already gone through your side so you just needed to sew it up. Or that's what you put together.

You sewed it all up after looking up how to sew a wound up on YouTube. You had the right equipment just wrong needle. You got in the bath tub trying to take a bath to ease the pain. You were terribly wrong. You wished someone would put you out of your misery, it felt like you were being torn apart. Next thing you knew you passed out from the pain. You woke up in bloody water. You drained the water and rinsed off. Once you were out of the shower you got dressed and snuggled in bed watching TV with your stuffy's.

For the next few weeks no one had talked to you. Bucky and Steve had ignored your texts and calls. Steve had blocked you. Everyone blocked you. Except for Bucky. He would once in a blue moon text you. It was rare. One text sent you over the edge.

*We are breaking up with you.

*We found someone better.

Your face and heart heated up. Your heart was thumping so fast you thought you were gonna have a heart attack. You pulled out a bottle of liquor from your mini fridge beside your bed. You hadn't eaten a meal since the incident, you only stayed hydrated and aten snacks here and there. You drank the whole bottle down. You pulled out that old razor that still looked new. But in your eyes. It was an old memory you didn't think would ever come back again. The pain on your thighs and arms were nothing. You felt nothing. "I'm disgusted with myself" you quietly stated, while laying back on the bed and falling asleep.

Tony had Friday set an alarm for everyone that was needed for this huge mission. Fridays alarm went off for everyone. Including you. You took a shower and brushed your teeth, not even catching breakfast before speed walking to Tony's office. No one had seen you in a month a some weeks. You were thin and frail. You looked like you hadn't slept in 5 years. Your complexion looking dim, like you had no spark. You knocked on the door. Tony let you in, you caught his attention making him turn away from his paper work. He went wide eyed. You were 4 times smaller than you had been around the time of the incident. "Y/n what do you need" he asked this question like you were a baby. "I-i was wondering why i-i was called o-on this mission". You stammered looking for words to tell him you were sorry.

"Well we need everyone on this mission" Tony stated. "W-who am I teamed u-up with sir?" You asked trying to make it less awkward." No one. No one needed nor wanted you as a team mate". That made you step back a bit but it didn't effect you alot. "They don't deserve a m-mi-mistake on there t-team, they deserve b-better"you responded back with a gruff and weak voice. Tony's heart was breaking seeing the once star of the team break down so easily now. He had already forgiven you. You were like a sister/daughter to him. He missed your giggles, and your goofiness, and your spark. You made everyone happy. Even when you couldn't make yourself happy. "Y/n..." Tony said sounding unsure. "Nevermind just go get ready"

You were walking back down the hallway towards your room right when Bucky and Steve stepped out of their room. They saw you. You got scared and turned back. Walking faster as you heard their foot steps. "Y/n" Bucky called out as he was a few steps behind you. You turned around slowly. You shouldn't be scared of them. They are supposed to make you feel safe. Ex's or not. They are heros, and captains. "Y-yes sir" your voice still husky and poor sounding. "Darling you're bleeding" he sounded so confused and concerned. You didn't know how to respond. You were bleeding? From where? You looked down to see your mission suit being drenched in blood. Tony didn't say anything about blood on me. Did I just start bleeding? You kept asking your self questions. "Are you okay? What happened? Did you get hurt?" Bucky asked. Why was he asking so many questions. He doesn't care for me, so why?. "I'm fine i-i honestly mi-might have messed up m-my suit w-while washing it" you blabbed out. "Unless your washing your clothes with kool-aid then I don't see how you could have messed up a expensive mission suit." Steve stated making you nervous. "I-it really is o-okay Captain I will go fix it n-now, sorry" you addressed him like you were new. Bucky stepped back in shock. Steve was stunned still noticing the changed features on you.

You looked like you were gonna crumble any second. He noticed tears forming in the corner of your eyes just from Bucky telling you about the blood. They both missed you. They want you to come back to their room. They wanna hold you and fix anything that's wrong. "Y/n, lift up your shirt" Steve blurted out. "I'm sorry Captain but I don't think that would be appropriate for work conditions". You didn't stutter this time. That caught both of the men off guard. They both looked at each other having a silent conversation with their eyes. Bucky had lifted you up from under your arms from the back, while Steve pulled up your shirt from where all the blood was coming from.

It was all bruised up. Hand sown, you could tell it wasn't professional. Steve started crying. Tears like puddles dropping on his uniform. "Why y/n. Why didn't you come to us?" He asked such a difficult question to answer. "I w-was scared, a-and a m-mi-mistake and monster like m-me deserves t-this". Steve and Bucky's eyes expanded. No. There was no way you thought you deserved this. It was a accident. You were trying to protect your teammates. You thought he was someone dangerous. Bucky put you down and hugged you from the back. "Your g-girlfriend is g-gonna get mad Mr. B-barnes please back a-away". Steve looked at Bucky confused while Bucky gave him the same look.

"You are our girlfriend y/n" Bucky said what the two were thinking. "But you s-sent me a break u-up text a f-few days ago saying you f-found someone better". This made Bucky whip out his phone and scroll to y'all's text messages. "Y/n I never sent that". They asked Friday who sent the text and Friday responded with footage of Sam and Natasha going on Bucky's phone laughing and giggling texting you those things. You silently snuck out of their grasp while they watched the footage.

Tony had already called off the mission. Since the missions grounds had blown up and invaded by FBI. You were grateful because you weren't really capable of much given your state of well being. But you were still in impeccable pain. You felt horrible. Tony had told Friday to tell you to come to his office. A few minutes later you were knocking on his office door, feeling scared and embarrassed. Tony gave you a worried look soon as you walked in. They told him. You saw Bucky and Steve standing near his desk. Horrid thoughts flooded your mind. They told Tony about the wound. He's gonna kick you off the team. You are so stupid. Why can't you do anything right?. "I-im sorry" you said cutting the silence. All three of them looked at you. "For what?" Tony asked. "For being s-such a disappointment to the t-team". Tony holding back tears clicked his pen for the last time before putting it down.

"Sit down y/n" Steve ordered. You painfully sat down trying to keep your whimpering to a low level. "Doctor Cho" Tony called, while the woman came through the door. "Did you refuse service to y/n?" He asked looking like he could shoot her if she didn't give the right answer. "Y-yes Mr. Stark, I'm terribly sorry". She looked like she was gonna break down and start begging for forgiveness. "You have your equipment right?" Tony asked drinking whatever was in his glass. "Yes I do Mr. Stark". She pulled out all the equipment she needed to treat your wound. You got out of your chair and was terrified. "W-What equipment, n-no I'm fine really.."

You already had a big phobia of needles and it was already terrific when you did it. There was no way you were gonna let her do it without someone sedating you. You walked towards the door while Bucky quickly grabbed you. "N-NO PLEASE, I-IM SCARED IM S-SORRY! IM SO S-SORRY, P-PLEASE!" You pleaded trying to get them to listen. Luckily she sedated you and you don't even remember what happened. You woke up in your old shared room next to your two captains. You didn't know if they were still your boyfriend's or not but you wanted them to be. You tried to get up, your body was shaking and quivering. You mostly woke up because Bucky's metal arm was so cold against your thighs.

You quickly looked under the covers. You had nothing but bra and panties on. Everything else was taken off and you were guessing it was put in the wash. You wondered if they had noticed your self harm scars on your arms and thighs. It was almost the dumbest question you had asked that day. You were almost naked. Everything was out now. Steve woke up to your panting. "Hey, hey, it's okay sugar" he cooed into your ear sitting up. "S-sorry s-sir" you apologized for waking him up. "My love there is no reason to be sorry, it's okay, we're here now, we won't leave you to cope by yourself again". You started balling. Tears felt like burns going down your beautiful skin.

Bucky had woken up and kissed you on your neck trying to get you to calm down. He put you on his lap and rocked you back and forth while Steve got you one of their t-shirts so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Bucky put the T-shirt on you avoiding the bandaged up wound, and kept rocking you untill you had calmed down. He soothed you into little space. You forgot you could even go into little space. You put your head into Bucky's neck and held onto him. "Good job darling, you are doing so good". You looked over as Steve pulled out a piece of paper out of his end table.

It was your note. Your suicide note

He ripped it up and placed it in the trash. He couldn't bare read it. But you just felt better off dead. You whimpered as soon as you accidentally put pressure on the injury. The reason that your wound held so much pain was because it was infected. You tried to disinfect it before and after cleaning it everyday but it wasn't the right needle and you had no idea what you were doing. You felt dumb. Your wound was finally professionally looked at and treated. So the pain wasn't so unbearable now. "Are w-we together s-still" you asked either one of them. "Yes of course y/n, we are sorry for leaving you to go through that all by yourself, please forgive us sugar" he begged. You thought you should begging. "Pl-please don't apologize, i-i deserved it, y-yall we're angry and i-i understand".

They didn't respond, but instead they kissed your hands and arms, making you feel human again. Not like a monster, or a mistake, they made you feel like yourself again. It was for a brief moment but it was the best moment that you had, had in the longest. Just pure bliss. But all that went away once you woke up from that moment of bliss.

You had woken up from your acholic nap with a horrid hang over. It was all just a dream. You still had a fucked up stich up. You hair was still damp from the bath that you had that night. The lonely quiet room was still eating you alive.

[polar534]

Jersey Stealing Pt. 4

Titan, this was a lot longer then I had ever planned on it being. I started writing Jersey Stealing I want to say MONTHS ago. You guys have only recently seen the parts that have been sitting done for ages. I guess it's just a side effect of this being my secondary, recovery project. Something fun I can write up while I'm at work.

Anyways, I'll stop babbling now and let y'all get to the well deserved end to this arc. This one is long. It's got a lot of loose threads tied up and it's also got my first instance of me ever typing out 'I love you' in any sort of writing... so that's a thing. Hopefully I did it alright.

(If you like this/want to read the other parts/want to figure out what the heck this Hockey AU is in the first place, consider checking out the MasterPost.)

***

Amity tapped her fingers, the sharp sound echoing loudly throughout the empty house. Sighing, she pushed her chair out and set aside the homework she was working on. The quiet nature of the house was almost physically bothering her as she walked to the window.Opening up to the sounds of the street below and woods behind, Amity took a deep breath and let the sounds comfort the growing restlessness creeping into her bones. Normally on the days she didn't have practice, both her and Luz would spend the evening in the Boiling Isles, visiting Lilith and Eda at the palace. There was always something to do, and Eda in particular was always looking for some excuse to sneak away from her duties even for just a little bit. It was something they both looked forward to. A time in which everyone could catch up, Gus and Willow included, outside of school or Willow and Amity's games.

However, today was different. Luz had a lot less shine in her eyes as Amity said goodbye to her at the portal, something that rarely happened. It only furthered Amity's resolve in her decision to stay behind and find some sort of resolution to the incident that now had been plaguing her girlfriend for almost a week.

The itching in her bones began to crawl into her skin as Amity felt her restlessness increase. Moving to the bed she grabbed some shoes and slid them on, making sure to grab her stick and jersey on the way out the door. Even if it was late, she knew Luz wouldn't be home anytime soon, and there was no telling when Camilla would be off of work. Equipment in hand, she moved down the street quickly, the daylight slowly fading behind her.

***

Crack!

The slam of the puck against the stick offered little resistance to Amity's swing as she continued the course she had designed for herself. Lapping the rink she crashed into the football training dummy she and the team had borrowed (stolen) from the local highschool. Feeling the weighted dummy barely move against the slick ice had her hitting the next lap even faster then the first.

Crack!

This time the swing was straight through the puck, almost as if Amity was merely cutting through the air with her motions. The puck flew through the air and pushed the netting of the goal to it's limit as the witch ducked her head down and lapped the rink a second time, building up speed to once again charge the dummy. Her chest heaved as her feet slowed in their steps, the ice now almost like water under her skates. There was no more traction to be gained and she instead allowed her body to continue it's momentum as she practically soared towards her goal. Her mind emptied as she plowed into the object in front of her, shoulder out, intending to cause as much damage as possible. This time, the metal sled holding the dummy up slid effortlessly through the ice as it flew backwards. The force of her impact wasn't clean though. Losing her balance and with too much speed to stop, Amity careened around the edge of where the dummy had stopped and she hit the ice hard. The green-haired girl barely registered the pain as her stick flew from her hand and she was left spinning out on the ice.

The witch panted heavily as she lay on the frozen rink, completely dazed, her heartbeat thudding so loudly in her ears that she could barely think.

As the pain of her fall caught up with her, so did the emotions she had tried to outrun for the past week. She wasn't aware of the first tear that slipped down the side of her cheek, but the many following after had her face almost bitterly cold in chilly temperature of the arena. A question repeated in her mind over and over.

Why?

The tears didn't bother her. Neither did the reason she was shedding them.

Why?

What bothered her most was Luz. Why was this the thing, this hope, this person, the one thing to break Luz like Amity had never seen? Why did this emotion, this defeat, seem to haunt Luz like a ghost that was all too familiar? Amity's heart broke for Luz, and maybe she was finally allowing herself to feel the pain, the burden she had tried carrying since she had seen it. Her mind raced to fill in the gaps and answer the questions as the adrenaline from her training began to crash and her body melted further into the ice.

She thought about all she knew and had learned about Luz's history in her own world. This world that Amity now had become a part of. It seemed like every day was a struggle for Luz, her wild and dangerous ideas being so obviously unappealing to others. Forcibly being isolated, even when you are trying to reach out was a lot different from how Amity grew up. She was always welcome, but never felt like she belonged… never wanted to.

'I think that’s why Luz held on to the hope that one day they could be friends'

It was Luz's connection to Amity that severed the last chance of her bonding to her past. It was the step over the line for Sasha, the person Luz had hung her last hopes on before she met Willow, before she met Gus, before she met Amity.

The adrenaline was gone. Her body aching, Amity crawled her way to her feet feeling more hollow then ever before. Slowly, she slid the training dummy off the ice, and grabbed her stick. Her eyes glanced to the puck that was still in the empty space of the goal as she packed the last of her equipment away. Glancing at her phone she saw that there were missed messages.

-I'm home now.

Missed Call from Luz

-Amity?

-Where are you?

-I hope you're ok.

Amity took one last look at the ice behind her before she tapped out a quick response, slinging her jersey off and over her shoulder as she walked out of the building.

-Sorry. I was practicing.

-I'll be home soon.

***

Amity crept up the stairs and to the bedroom. Peeking open the door slowly she saw that Luz was curled up on the bed, wrapped up snugly in a blanket and using a small lamp to read by. As soon as the door opened her eyes shot up and the ghost of a smile lit up her face in the relative darkness.

"Ahhh, there she is!"

Amity smiled back as she wormed her way further into the room and set her equipment down. Kicking off her shoes she sat down on the edge of the bed as Luz set her book down and clung onto her back, her head resting comfortably in the crook of the witch's neck.

"I'm sorry I was late." Amity mumbled quietly as she leaned her face into Luz's, enjoying her girlfriend's warmth as it chased away the bite of cold that still lingered from the rink.

"I am too." Luz rumbled back into her ear as she squeezed her arms tightly around the witch's torso and pulled her fully down onto the bed.

"Oh? Miss me much Noceda?" Amity teased as they both wrapped the blanket around them and settled in, Luz in Amity's arms.

Luz merely responded with a low growl as she snuggled further into the other's girls embrace, making sure her face was buried into Amity's chest. After a moment of enjoying being close and together again, Luz finally lifted her face. Her eyes were tired, but they held the shine of curiosity that Amity was used to. Deep in those wide brown eyes there was a flicker of the Luz she knew and loved.

Then that flicker faded.

"So… you were out pretty late."

Amity nodded. It wasn't an accusation, just a comment. It didn't stop the guilt from rushing in however.

"I know. I'm sorry. I was caught up in practicing and didn't realize the time."

"Lokte's brother stopped by earlier." Luz said calmly.

Amity's blood froze. It wasn't as if she wanted to hide what she had been up to for the last few days, but rather didn't want to worry Luz any more then she already was. It was too late now though.

"He wanted to apologize. For what happened at the game. He looked pretty spooked. Guess Lokte didn't go easy on him."

"I wouldn't either." Amity growled stiffly. It may have been a genuine mistake, but that didn't mean the threat didn't bother her. What was worse was that Luz still seemed completely calm. Amity didn't know what to expect. Would she be mad? Or just disappointed?

Silence fell between the pair.

"You talked with them today… didn't you?"

There was another moment of silence before Amity nodded. Luz continued to face away from her, but the witch knew that her girlfriend knew the answer before she had asked. After a few more agonizing seconds, Luz finally faced her. The smallest sliver of a smile crept it's way on her face, and the light in her eyes seemed to come back ever so slightly.

"Sooo… just how obnoxious is Bryce?" Luz asked, gently teasing. Her light voice instantly broke through the stiff air between them.

Amity let out a sigh of relief as she laughed a bit to herself.

"I have no idea how you put up with him at all. He's got to be one of the dullest people I have ever met. I told him multiple times I was your girlfriend and he still couldn't take the hint! He kept trying to ask me out." The witch growled lowly, unconsciously squeezing Luz tighter.

"Oh. Huh..." Luz hummed thoughtfully.

"Luz there was no way I was going to say yes. You know that right?"

Luz sat up and waved her hand as if dismissing Amity's thought.

"Yeah of course I know that." She assured the witch almost like an after thought, now looking curiously out the window. "It's just weird. Bryce isn't the type to ask girls out. He just hasn't ever been interested in dating before."

"Could've fooled me." Amity grumbled unhappily, Byrce's aggressive way of flirting still very much prevalent in her mind.

Luz turned back to her with another smile, this one supportive and warm.

"Oh Ami. He's still very much a trashbag." Luz said slowly, her distaste for Bryce very barely hidden. "You didn't have to go talk to them for me you know." She added after a pause, her voice growing quiet.

"Well. Let's see, they threatened you, called you a liar and then tried to go on with their life as if everything was ok. As if there wasn't any consequences." Amity listed as she stared at the ceiling and counted on her fingers. After thinking for awhile she stared hard at Luz. "Yeah. I wasn't about to let that happen."

Luz's smile grew a little more genuine as both girls looked at each other. She leaned back up against Amity as they settled back down into the bed. There wasn't anything more to say.

"So practicing huh? Did you use the football dummy?" Luz asked suddenly and excitedly.

Amity couldn't help but smile, it had been Luz's idea to use it (steal it) in the first place.

"It was a little weird to use, but honestly on the second try I sent it flying."

"Awesome." Luz breathed. "I demand you take me along next time."

Amity laughed. "You've been spending too much time with King." She teased gently as she sat up to lean against the bed frame. Luz promptly flopped across her lap and uncovered her book from earlier to flip open.

"Nonsense." The human girl dismissed as her eyes began to scan the pages again.

"What are you reading anyways?" Amity asked after a pause told her the conversation might be over.

"Shhhhhhh." Luz reached over and lazily flopped a hand against Amity's face in an attempt to gently shush her. "I'm almost done with this scene."

Raising an eyebrow, Amity patiently waited, unaware that she and Luz would soon spend the next 2 hours getting into the first book of a brand new series. After thoroughly researching to find out that yes, the rest of the series was available at the library, the two girls settled in for the night. As they were drifting off, Luz holding Amity tightly to her chest, the witch had almost completely forgotten about the trials they had both been through. The weight of their trauma seemed so far away, lost in the warmth of the blankets and her girlfriend's arms.

No matter what happened, if every day ended with Luz right beside her, Amity knew they could and they would survive anything that life threw at them.

Above her, Luz buried her face into her hair, breathing in deeply as sleep overtook her.

"…mity…" She mumbled sleepily.

Amity couldn't help but giggle a bit. Luz hated falling asleep, always clinging to her consciousness despite how exhausted she was. Always finding some excuse to stay up just a little longer.

"Yes?"

"… thanks."

Amity's ears twitched before a small smile appeared on her face. She snuggled into Luz further.

"Anytime." The witch reassured her as she heard her girlfriend sigh happily above her. The room grew quiet once again and Amity was almost fully asleep by the time Luz spoke next.

"I love you."

The heat rushed to Amity's cheeks, as it always did when she heard those 3 little words. Her heart skipped a bit as it beat faster in it's desperate attempt to return the affection.

"I love you too Luz."

***

Luz didn't return to normal right away, though the night clearly had an effect on her. However, it never took long for the unbreakable spirit of Luz Noceda to rear it's head again and soon enough, The Otter's hockey practice was once again filled with the sounds of rambunctious applause and cheering. The entire team seemed to be effected by the return of their number 1 fan as they all began to work harder, feeling the hope return. After all, they were 4-1 and were still riding high on their winning streak.

Amity and Lokte especially felt the effects of Luz's return to form, not only on a personal level, but also with the renewed gusto of their team.

Which is why, on the last practice before their big game, everything came to an almost halt as the door of the rink opened and a stranger appeared looking very lost.

It wasn't as if the majority of the team knew this new person, but they recognized the bad news this person brought as their star player completely froze. Amity recognized the figure immediately. She was already furiously skating off the ice as they started to approach Luz, Lokte quickly calling for a 5 minute break behind her. Up in the stands, Luz looked up, surprised to see a face beside her in the usually barren stands. She was even more surprised by just how familiar the face was.

Beside her, Sasha was clenching tightly to her arm, looking absolutely everywhere but at Luz herself. She looked like she was trying to form a sentence as the commotion on the ice finally caught up to them. Both girls turned to see Amity, desperately pulling off her skates in the players box, her face furious.

"Wait! Wait! I can explain!" Sasha called out as they watched Lokte skate up next to Amity who growled out a quick response. Now both players seemed set on heading up to the stands, completely uncaring about the former bullies cry.

Luz didn't know what to do. Her mind had frozen when she saw Sasha and not knowing what to think, she didn’t know what to say. Her eyes were locked on Lokte and Amity as they started climbing the stairs to where she was, feeling almost grateful that she would have some sort of backup in just a few moments.

It wasn't that she was scared, but her chest seemed to ache the same way it had the last couple of days and she was acutely aware that she seemed to shrink in Sasha's presence. Luz knew that she hadn't been herself in the days following her encounter with Sasha and Bryce before. It had taken a lot out of her, and although she always wanted to look for the best in people, she wasn't keen to repeat that experience.

Especially with how worried Amity had been.

"Ok. Well since it definitely seems like I'm about to be chased from this place," Sasha spoke up, interrupting Luz's fleeting thoughts and quickly turning to her with wide eyes. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. Really. I'm not looking for any sort of forgiveness. I don't… I don't deserve that. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I just… I was hoping we could talk."

Luz merely blinked, her mind swirling. She was still very much aware of her girlfriend closing in on them, and Sasha's already flighty behavior. She knew she needed to make a move to stop something from happening but she couldn't think past the girl's words.

'I'm sorry'

"You… wanted to talk?" Luz finally choked out, finding some sort of sticking point to allow herself to speak again.

Sasha almost looked a little sheepish, her fearful eyes darting back and forth between the hockey players quickly coming up the stairs and the girl she had hurt.

"Yeah. For all the years I've known you… I realized I know absolutely nothing about you." The blonde haired girl laughed.

The laugh was so genuine that Luz couldn't help but laugh with her. After all, everything she said was true. They had known each other for a long time, but they were still practically complete strangers. It was Luz who had always wanted that to change, but Sasha had never made an attempt to fix anything between them before. Time was running out however as Sasha turned to leave, clearly afraid of the players coming up the steps.

She was quickly stopped by Luz's hand on her arm.

"Hey! I thought I told you not to go near her again!" Amity snarled, now being close enough to yell.

Luz could feel the shiver of fear that shot through Sasha as Amity bared her fangs. Again, she couldn't help but smile, after all, Amity was pretty terrifying when she wanted to be. Looking absolutely ready to bolt, Sasha turned to Luz with wide eyes, clearly praying that this wasn't some big trap. Luz only winked as a response.

Letting her arm go, Luz stood up and put herself between Amity and Sasha, holding her arms out to the side to fully block the girl behind her.

Amity froze as Lokte stopped on the steps below her, their arms crossing in frustration.

"Luz?" The witch asked tentatively. Her voice was full of concern and worry, all traces of anger almost completely fading as she stared at her girlfriend in confusion.

Luz took a deep breath.

"It's okay Ami. She just wants to talk."

Amity bristled in anger, but she did her best to remain calm. "Are you ok?"

Luz glanced behind her and took note of Sasha's wide, shocked eyes. Her face was blank as she turned back around to face her girlfriend.

"Give me a stick and I'll make sure she doesn't get too out of line." Luz smirked after a short pause.

A startled gasp from behind her had Lokte and Luz both laughing while Amity merely rolled her eyes. Taking a step forward she planted a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek.

"Let me know the moment she starts bothering you, ok?" Amity whispered. Luz caught her hand as she backed up again and held it tight as she flashed a confident smile.

"Of course." Luz grinned at her as she swung the witch's hand and let it go. "You just get back to practicing. No need to stop on my behalf."

"I could name several reasons." Lokte interjected, still looking rather distrustful of the girl tentatively peeking out from behind Luz.

Despite their reluctance, Amity nodded at Luz and dragged her friend back down to the rink. Luz watched them leave for just a bit before turning to Sasha with a grin.

"Alright. Crisis adverted." She laughed playfully. "Just be grateful she didn't jump at ya from the ceiling. I've seen it happen. It's not pretty."

Sasha laughed nervously. "So… does this mean we can talk?"

Luz laughed again as she fearlessly grabbed Sasha and forced her to sit next to her on the bleacher.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear you ask me that?"

…

Amity slid into the seat next to Luz as she watched her teammates wrap up on the ice. Sasha had left only a little while ago and the witch could see a noticeable slouch to her girlfriends shoulders. Despite that, Luz barely moved as Amity gently reached for her hand.

"How are you doing?" She asked quietly, weaving her fingers through Luz's own.

After a short pause, Luz squeezed her fingers back and looked up at her with watery brown eyes. Amity immediately tensed. She didn’t trust that look and if Sasha had hurt her again…

Well the girl hadn't left that long ago, if she hurried, there was still a definite chance that the witch could catch her. She was preparing to grab her stick and hurry out the door as Luz finally spoke.

"We aren't friends yet…" Luz stated slowly, the light in her eyes vibrantly bright as she spoke.

"But it's a start."

[ms-rampage]

New Dawn: New Horizons Chapter 1 - Prelude 

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: It's been almost 20 years since the nuclear explosions that destroyed all of Hope County. A lot has changed, many new faces, old friends and new enemies are all head. 

Guest OCs: Cristina Winchester-Smith (FC: Brianna Hildebrand), Bianca Winchester-Smith (FC: Maisie Williams), Daenerys Winchester (FC: Xia Brookside)

Guest Characters: Nick Rye, Carmina Rye, Gabriel [Supernatural], Lucifer [Supernatural], Mickey and Lou [mentioned], God/Chuck [mentioned], Joseph Seed [mentioned], John Seed [mentioned].

Written by @athenalillystar and myself. Supernatural & Far Cry New Dawn crossover. Hope y'all enjoy! 💗💗

Taglist: @wargames94 @rabbitsoldier @mrsladydiana

________

"I was just an infant when all this happened. My name is Cristina Tatiana Winchester-Smith, and life has never been the same, to my parents at least. Half my life I spent living underground in a bunker. All this was just an experience for my siblings and I. My family had to rebuild everything they had established. Saving, helping out those in need, it's our family business. 

The next generation of the Winchester family has grown over the last 15+ years. Ever since the bombs dropped, Joseph Seed was right about everything. Everyone in Hope County emerged from their bunkers after 7 long years. The Collapse happened, sending the world into a nuclear holcaust by the Man upstairs, but that still doesn’t mean he, God, didn't play Joseph Seed and his family. 

Cristina Winchester-Smith, the eldest daughter to Paige Winchester and Kenneth Smith along with her younger sister Bianca, and their cousin Daenerys, the only daughter to Kate Winchester, and unfortunately the daughter to John Seed, whom she doesn't know anything about because she doesn't know of his existence. 

Walking through the ruins of what was once Holland Valley. Everything's destroyed, gone, obsolete. 

Paige used to tell them how everything was, how everything was beautiful, the small town of Falls End, the church, the bar, the agriculture. How life was beautiful and simple, before the bombs fell, and now everything is obsolete. Never, not once telling them about the Cult that terrorized the whole town and how the leaders tortured their whole family.

They walk through the tall grass, rummaging through the prepper stashes in the abandoned destroyed houses looking for supplies.

"Did you find anything!?" Bianca calls out, from a nearby house.

"No, nothing!" Daenerys yells back, not far from her.

In another house 20 feet away from them, Cristina is digging, and pushing debris of a collapsed house out of the way. As she's searching for supplies, a gust of wind blows through the house, and a flutter like noise. She doesn't think anything of it. She hears footsteps from behind her, thinking it's her sister or cousin.

"Hey, did you find anything?!?" she asks, not looking back. Digging through the rubble.

After a few moments of no response, she speaks up again, still not looking back.

"Hey, did you find anything?!?!" she asks again. The voice of a man makes her snap her head back. 

"Ooh how this world has changed" he whispers. She turns around, and sees a tall blonde man with his back to her, slowly standing up, her hand ready on her pistol. 

"Umm who are you?!?" she asks him. 100% suspicious. 

He turns to face her. He's very attractive, he looks like he could pass for her dad. He’s so much older than her, and has beautiful piercing blue eyes.

"I go by many names" he tells her, stepping closer to the eldest Winchester.

She narrows her eyes at him and says, "I don't understand. Is that a reference to something?!".

"I'm Lucifer" he says in a calm voice that sends shivers up her spine.

Her eyes widened for a second, taking a few steps back, and let out a soft chuckle. 

“Okay!!” she laughs. When he doesn’t respond, and stares at her with a serious, dead look. She internally panics.

"Wha-?!!? No?! You serious??" she whispers, trying to play it off but the fear in her voice betrays her.

"Yes" he responds softly, standing still in front of her, blocking the doorway, the only way out.

"You better be joking” she tells him, after a few moments of no response from him “Are you gonna kill me?!?!". 

He steps closer to her, examining her face. He tilts his head to the side while examining her face. She slowly backs up. 

"You look familiar" he says softly. 

Cristina is a splitting image of her mother Paige. Lucifer thinks that this person is Paige Winchester, but appearing much younger, and with blue streaks in her hair. 

He reaches his hand out to touch her face. She backs up against the wall. 

She’s able to duck underneath him, avoiding his touch, only for him to appear in front of her again.

She lets out a slight gasp, and drops to the floor. Crawling away from him.

“I’m not gonna kill you” he tells her, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

She crawls back to where she was before, her back against the wall. He kneels in front of her, his hand reaches out to touch her face. Freaking out, she’s never seen, nor met this man before. His huge hand touches her forehead, and he closes his eyes. After a few seconds his eyes open, and are now glowing red. 

She panics, and crawls away from him. Her scream getting caught in her throat, unable to call for the other two.  

“Winchester” he mutters,”You’re a Winchester”.

“Yeah” she responds, softly, her voice breaking. 

“I’m guessing the other 2 are Winchesters as well?!” he asks.

She nods her head, “Yeah” muttering softly.

“Paige Winchester is your mother I’m guessing” he asks, standing up, and taking a few steps away from her. 

“Yeah?. Why?” she asks, beyond confused. 

He sighs, and with a hint of annoyance in his voice, “I know your mother, and her sister Kate Winchester. Pretty much your whole damn family”. 

He turns back around to face her, and says “Sam and Dean Winchester are, or were Paige and Kate’s 1st cousins. So that makes them your 2nd cousins? I’m guessing?!”.

Dumbfounded, and wondering if this is all some dream or hallucination. He’s telling her about relatives that she has never met before, she’s heard her mother talk about them to Kate and her father Kenneth. 

“I still don’t understand” she tells him, shrugging. Confusion written all over her face.

“The famous Winchester clan. My dad, God, he was bored of the human race. That he did all of this” he explains to her enthusiastically, with his arms out. Referring to the collapse, and the world being destroyed. 

“My mom said that some man named Joseph Seed said that all this would happen” she tells the Archangel.

“Yes, because he was picked by God, but what he didn’t know was that, God, Chuck was playing him, and would lead to the destruction of humanity. Hence The Collapse" he tells her. 

Her eyes widened, everything made sense. Everything that her mom, and aunt have said over the years makes sense. 

After emerging from the bunker after 7 years, they were able to rebuild their home. Making sure everything would be protected from the Highwaymen. A group of assholes who force people out of their homes, taking whatever they want from whoever they want. 

“I didn’t catch your name” he says, breaking her from her thoughts. Crossing his arms. 

“C-Cristina” she hesitates. 

He claps his hands, “Well Cristina, you won’t see the last of me. I might pay your folks a visit. Most Angels, and a few Archangels were all cast out of Heaven when my daddy farted on humanity. So I’m gonna go find my bros” he says, “But before I leave. One more thing. You look too much like your mother. It’s weird”. He tells her with a smug, disgusted look on his face, as if she were responsible for how she looks. His last words to her before he disappears, or are they?!. 

She looks around looking for him. Cannot believe that she met Lucifer. The Fallen Angel. The Devil, Satan himself!!. Her thoughts are interrupted by her little sister and cousin calling out for her. 

“Cristina!!” Daenerys calls out. Startling, and disturbing her thoughts. 

She steps out of the house, “Yeah!?!”. 

“Did you find anything?!” Bianca asks.

She shakes her head, “No I didn’t find anything”. Trying not to show any fear in her voice or in her eyes. 

“Well, I found 5 rolls of duct tape, 3 metal springs and some titanium pipes” Daenerys tells her.

“I found titanium pipes as well, and 3 rolls of copper wire” Bianca tells them. 

She nods her head, “Okay, well let’s head back to Prosperity then” she tells them. 

They jump into their motorcycles and ride back to Prosperity, their safe haven. Cris riding by herself, Bianca in hers with Daenerys in the side cart. 

They didn't find much supplies, but enough to fix a car or part of a motorcycle.

The eldest child, Cristina who is still disturbed, and discombobulated after encountering "Lucifer". She didn't say anything to the other 2 because she didn't want to freak out, or have them worry about it.

She would tell her parents but they might not believe her, telling her that it was some Highwayman trying to scare her, but that didn’t explain him disappearing out of nowhere, and his eyes glowing red. Thinking about everything he said. Him saying that he knew her mother, and aunt.

They make it back to Prosperity, walking through the front gate with their supplies. They hand all their supplies they found to Nick Rye, and they go inside the house.

"Hey, are you guys hungry?" Paige, the mother to Cristina and Bianca asks.

"Yeah, sure" Cristina replies. Trying not to look bothered

She hands them plates with different types of sandwiches and chips. They all sit outside on the steps. Paige notices her eldest daughter looks bothered.

“Cri, you okay?” she asks. Putting on her best concerned mother look.

She lifts her head up, and looks at her mother, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just a little tired” she replies.

Paige nods, and goes back to making lunch for everyone in the safehouse.

As they’re sitting outside eating, Kate along with Selene walk down the stairs with boxes of medical supplies. Daenerys sees them, and immediately gets up from the steps. 

“Hye mom!” she calls out. Kate turns to face her only child.

“Yes Dany!?” she asks.

“Would it be okay if Cristina, Bianca, Jeff, Tom, Carmina and I go to Roughneck’s Crag tonight?” she asks, trying to use her puppy dog eyes that she inherited from her. Kate furrows her eyebrows at her, scrunching her nose. Trying to be a good parent, but also wanting to keep her daughter away from danger, but also wanting her to have fun and be a kid.  

“I’m okay with it, but you have to ask your father. He has the final word” she tells her, and walks towards the infirmary.

Daenerys’ adopted Archangel father Gabriel, whom she doesn't know is an Archangel, nor her biological father walks by, going towards the garage. He was one of the several Angels that were all cast out of Heaven when the bombs fell. 

“Hey dad!” she calls out.

He stops, faces her and says with a smirk. “Yes Dany boy?”. She rolls her eyes in embarrassment at the nickname he gave her. 

“Would it be okay if Bianca, Cristina, Jeff, Tom, Carmina and I go to the Roughneck’s Crag tonight?” she asks, with her blue puppy dog eyes.

He crosses his arms, staring at her, trying to put on his best strict father face. “Did you ask your mother?”.

“Yes” she replies.

“And what did she say?” he asks, looking down at the small pink haired human that is his daughter. 

“To ask you. But she said she was okay with it” she replies, using the puppy dog eyes on him “Sooo is it okay!?!”.

He stays silent for a moment, anticipating to answer her question. “It’s okay with me. Just be careful” he tells her.

“Thanks dad” she says, and goes back to her cousins at the steps. He goes to the garage where Nick Rye, and Kenneth Smith are. “What did he say?” Bianca asks her. 

“He said it was okay” she answers. 

****

Later that night, at the Winchester-Smith compound, Bianca, Cristina, Jeffrey, Thomas and Daenerys leave for the Roughneck’s. Which is a hang out spot for those who survived the Collapse, and need to take a breather.

“Be safe!!” Paige shouts as they drive off the property. 

Kenneth taught Cristina how to drive when she turned 15, since there are no cops. Well there are a few cops but they don’t care. No law enforcement officers that survived the bombs cares about their jobs. So she can drive without a license.

All of the adults stay behind. Paige, Kate, Kenny, Gabriel, as well as their old friends Mark, Nate, Martin, Cody, Adrian and their families. Paige and Kate’s mother Mandy, and their godmother Barbara. 

They had to rebuild, and expand their house, once they came out from the bunker after 7 long years. Splitting the house into 3 houses once again.

Putting up a 25 foot wall, solid concrete with a 25 foot iron gate. Security cameras pointed at all corners of the property. Always heavily armed.

“I’m not very comfortable about them going out this late” Kenny says to Paige. 

She sighs, “I’m not either, but I want them to have fun. They know what to do when they encounter the Highwaymen”. 

Kate and Gabriel approach them from behind. 

“Daenerys has an ear to detect trouble, they’ll be fine” Kate explains, reassuring them.

“Yeah, I know. I just don’t want them to run into the twins” Kenny tells her. 

Kate scoffs, shaking her head “The twins. Mickey and Lou, a couple of little fucks, who need an ass whooping”. Paige chuckles, “Yeah, no shit”. 

“They’ll be fine. I know it” Gabriel tells them, sitting on the kitchen counter. They turn to face him, “Are your Archangel senses kicking in?!” Paige jokes. 

He nods his head side to side, “Whatever I have left, which isn’t much” he tells them.

“So you’re a human?!” Kenneth asks.

“Partially human” he says, before joking “I hate it. I know I’m fond of humanity, but how do you all live like this?!?”. 

They laugh, despite what this celestial has gone through, from being cast out of Heaven, losing his grace but he got to marry his soulmate, even if she doesn’t know it. The soulmate part. 

“You know you love it!!” Kate teases, wrapping her arms around his neck. Placing his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him.

“If I have to deal with you, I’ll take it” he responds, kissing her. He gets off from the counter, and heads outside. 

“Where you going?!” she asks him. He turns to her, “I’m gonna try, and contact my old man for the 5,678th time”.

“Is Heaven radio even working?!” Paige asks, “Is anyone up there taking the calls?” 

He shrugs “It does work, nothing but static. They still should get my calls. Even if the line is busy”. He goes outside, standing far away from the house, so he can get his message through the line. 

He looks up at the sky, and prays “Hey dad, it's me, Gabriel. Answer me, or you won’t get rid of me until you answer all of my questions. You’ve been holding off for 17 years and you will reply back”. 

A moment a silence, then a gust of cold wind blows past him. Looking up at the night Montana sky with green, pink Northern lights illuminate all day and night. 

“Well, well, well” a familiar male voice says. He turns around, and sees his older brother.

“Lucifer?!” he exclaims, surprised to see his fallen brother.

“Gabriel?!” he mocks him, “You’re one of the Archangels that fell?!”.

He shrugs, “Yep. The old man won’t respond to my calls”.He takes a few steps closer to his older brother, “He owns me, and every other angel an explanation”. 

Lucifer steps closer to his little brother, he sighs, then his eyes wander up, and sees Kate at a window inside the house. 

“Are-are you living with the Losechesters?!?” he asks. Look of disgust on his face. 

He looks back at the house, then back at Lucifer, “Yeah, after I fell and landed on Earth. With the very little powers I had, I teleported to them” pointing back towards the Winchesters who don’t see them.

“So they took you in?!?” Lucifer asks, confused.

Gabriel sighs, “Yeah, and I uhh. I eventually had a relationship with Kate”. 

Shaking his head in confusion, nothing knowing what to say, “You had a relationship with Kate Losechester?!” he asks.

“Well, I'm still in a relationship with her” he says. Still beyond confused that his brother is in a relationship with a weak inferior human, “I’m practically a step father” he adds.

His eyes widened, “You? A father?. How the Hell did that happen?!” he asks, holding back laughter.

He sighs once again, “Well around the time daddy dropped a deuce on humanity. Kate was pregnant, and when I teleported to their bunker, she was 7,8 maybe 9 weeks, Paige was also pregnant, she had triplets. Kate had a daughter, and that's how I became a step father. Being underground for 7 years because of radiation. I would’ve nailed Kate, and impregnated her myself but you know the whole Nephilim thing, and she’ll die giving birth to it”.

Lucifer trying to take in everything Gabriel said, and trying to process it all at once.

“So. So you’re human?!?” he asks. 

“Partially human. I still have my powers, they're just very limited. I have no access to Heaven, Hell, Purgatory. I can still teleport, but I’m not as strong as I was before I fell”. He sighs loudly, crossing his arms, looking up at the night sky. He looks back at his brother, and asks “So why are you here?!”.

Lucifer shrugs, and says “Looking for my brothers, and I found one so far”.

“Hey Gabe!” Kate calls him from inside the house.

“Come on Gabe, I can take you away from here. Away from them” he says, trying to convince his brother to go with him to looking for the other Angels. 

He shakes his head, “I’m sorry Lucifer. I live here now, I’m glad you want me to help, but I can’t leave them. I can’t do this to her”.

He rolls his eyes, sighing in annoyance. “Come on Gabe, this is the same Kate Winchester that killed Lilith, and freed me from my cage, which I am thankful for. The same Kate Winchester that watched her own sister get turned into a vampire, and didn’t do shit. The same Kate Winchester that lost her soul, and was a demon. The same Kate Winchester that-”.

“Stop!!. Just stop!” Gabriel cuts him off. “I’m not staying just because of Kate. Yeah I married her-”

Lucifer cuts him off by groaning in disgust, “You married a human?!?. Even worse you married a Winchester!!”. 

He ignores his interruption, and continues, “I married her, but I’m not staying just because of her, I’m staying because of Daenerys. Her daughter. My daughter!”. Lucifer crosses his arms, rolling his eyes in annoyance. 

“She is not your daughter!. She’s John Seed’s daughter. She’s not a damn Nephilim, nor does she have any angelic grace".

He glares at him, “John Seed is dead. I was there throughout Kate’s pregnancy. Since the beginning before Daenerys was even a damn embryo. It’s dad’s fault, he’s responsible, he kept me away from her because of his stupid little game”.

He raises his hands in defeat, “Okay. That's fine. If you wanna live amongst the humans, that's fine with me. But I’m not done with you little brother.” 

Gabriel rolls his eyes, turns around, and walks back towards the house.

“Maybe. I’ll pay little Dany a visit” Lucifer speaks out, making Gabriel stop in his tracks.

He turns to face his brother, “If you touch her, or go anywhere near her. I will kill you” he threatens him.

Lucifer smirks at him, “How?. You ain’t gotten any powers”. He goes to grab him but he disappears before he could get to him.

“Gabriel!!” Kate calls out for him again.

***

Bianca, Cristina, Daenerys, Thomas, Jeffrey and Carmina Rye are hanging out at what was once Steele Farm. Laughing, having a fun time, enjoying the Montana night. The radiation caused the sky to have their own Northern Lights. This was always a great hang out for them because you can see pretty everything from this view. 

Especially from the second floor of the hut. They spent 7 years living underground in their bunkers, and when it was time to come back out. 

Their families rebuilt everything, upgrading everything, their security, their weapons.

The Winchester kids come from a long line of hunters, their parents, their grandparents, their great grandparents, and so on were all hunters, but they don’t know this information because their parents didn’t want them to know of the evil that is out there in the world.

Cristina was always told that “God doesn’t care about anyone. That’s why everything was destroyed. He wanted all of us dead, to wipe us all out of existence because of one man. His name was Joseph Seed”.

She always thought that was a metaphor, or something like that. Yeah everything was destroyed by the bombs, and everything looks depressing. Mainly for their parents because everything was once beautiful, and normal. Life was enjoyed. They lived through it.

To them, to the kids, this was beautiful, and it was just the beginning for them.

Cristina keeps thinking about what “Lucifer” said to her. She feels like she should tell someone maybe not her siblings, or Daenerys or Carmina. Maybe she can tell her parents, her aunt, or her grandmother about that. Maybe this Joseph Seed man, maybe he’s still alive.

[mindswriters]

Family Meeting - jj maybank × reader {one shot}

Summary: for the first time you decide to take your pogue boyfriend at your family's annual meeting, and let's say that your relatives didn't have the best reactions in the world.

Pairing: jj maybank × kook!reader

Warnings: language, underage drinking, mentions of hook ups?, "drunk" driving [IF YOU DRINK DON'T DRIVE]

Word count: 3.3K (is this big? idk)

A/N: hell yeah, i'm a shitty writer. Y/f/n means "your full name" btw

not my gif, credits to the owner ;)

****

Your surname is pretty infamous at the Outer Banks, your dad owns one of the biggest parts of Tannyhill, what makes you full kook. That's why you always lived in that shitty bubble wrap, you understand that living in the Figure 8 gave you privileges that you wouldn't have if you lived on the south side, and you hate the fact that everyone around you always pretend that everything is perfect when there are people to miles from there surviving from water and bread. But, as a blessing, a while ago your friend Sarah Cameron started dating John B, a Pogue guy who worked for the Cameron's, and you also started to hang out with them, and that's where your life started. At first your parents didn't liked your "new life", but they also did nothing to stop you (probably because they knew you would find a way to sneak out). You found your real crew with the Pogues, they were very receptive with you, John B is really kind and fun (way better than Topper, Sarah's ex boyfriend); Kie became your third musketeer, she's smart and is always there for you; Pope is your favorite nerd eveeer, y'all would be screwed without him. And last but not least, JJ Maybank, at first you thought he was cute, at second that he was a stubborn dumbass, and third? Oh, third you've fallen in love with him.

That's what brings you here, getting dressed for the Y/l/n's annual meeting at the Country Club, while JJ, your actual boyfriend is sitting on your bed with a messy hair and a clumsy suit. This meeting is nothing but a bullshit that your parents "require" you to go every year, you actually don't like it a lot, but today you are especially excited, you can't wait to see all your old aunts and envious cousins staring at you, when you arrive holding hands with your Pogue boyfriend. The most handsome Pogue of this island.

"Hey, J, which one is better, this one or this one?" you asked showing him your hands, each one holding a different pair of earrings.

"Hmm, this one." he pointed to your left hand with a smirk after carefully observed both the jewels.

You whispered a "thanks" and turned back to the mirror, putting the bright jewels on your ears. You were giving a last check on your marine blue dress, when you heard a knock at your half opened door.

"We're waiting for you kids." your dad tried to disguise the complain with a smirk.

"Sorry for the delay, dad, you know how long it takes for me to get ready." you pouted leaning on the door "But you and mom can go ahead, JJ and I will go with my car in a little while." you looked at your boyfriend and smiled when he waved to your father.

"You sure?" you quickly nodded "Okay then, see you there." the gray haired man sighed and went down the stairs.

"Thank you, daddy." you murmured but he definitely didn't listened.

"Can you just don't call him daddy when I'm around? It's kinda awkward." he slyly said when stood up from your bed.

You giggled rolling your eyes and walked towards him, looking up to stare his blue eyes "I never thought I would live to see JJ Maybank wearing a suit." you joked.

He just looked away and gave a shy laugh, while you delicately straightened his tie and collar. As much as you are excited, you don't see the same in JJ's expression, let's say he is not extremely comfortable in the middle of the Lion's den, as the Pogues call places with many Kooks.

"Come on babe, spit it out, what's wrong?" you ask kindly wrapping arms around his neck.

He shook his head hesitating to speak, but only with your gaze he eventually convinced himself that you wouldn't let it go unnoticed.

"Are you sure you want me to go? I mean, it's a family thing and-" he was about to vent put you stopped him.

"You are part of my family, JJ." you smiled placing a small kiss on his lips.

"Say it to your father, at this time he must be bad-mouthing me for the rest of your family." he complained snorting.

"So what?" you intertwined each other's fingers on both hands "Look, JJ, I don't care about what my father thinks and says about you, I just want to show up there holding your hand and telling everyone that you are the guy by whom I fell in love, and fuck what those idiots will think! It'll always be you." you sighed relieved after you vent all that was in your throat.

"Wow, unexpected PDA from my little girl uh?" you felt the heat blushing your cheeks, but he immediately filled your face with plenty kisses.

"I meant it, J, I meant it!" you both laughed when you tried to escape from his lips "Let's just go there and enjoy us, eat those weird foods, drink expensive drinks and if it gets too boring we can leave, okay?"

"Fine, fine, I'll go." he rolled his eyes pretending to be angry with you.

You held the boy's cheeks joining his lips lovingly and jumped up to the chair where your purse was hanging.

"I can't wait to see the faces of my envious cousins when they see me coming with the hottest guy on the Outer Banks." you sent a wink and asked him to follow you downstairs.

You drove all the way to the Country Club and when you got there you already saw all the chic decor and the other cars that were in the parking lot. JJ seemed to be nervous again, dangling his legs and biting his nails, but holding your hand before entering the party was what helped him to be calm. As soon as you took the first step, you were surrounded by the looks of everyone, some from close relatives who looked disappointed, and others from people you didn't even know were family members. Soon in the entrance hall you met your parents, talking to one of your aunts, when you were a child you gave her a loving nickname, auntie witchie.

"Hi dad, hi mom! I didn't know that half of Outer Banks was now our family." you teased kissing your parents cheeks.

"Less, Y/n." your father whispered discretely.

"Oh, Auntie Mary! How long I haven't seen you!" you greeted your aunt with an exaggerated (and false) smile.

The lady returned the smile but soon frowned as she spotted the messy blonde hair right behind you, even in a suit JJ was still clearly a Pogue.

"Let me introduce you, this is JJ, my boyfriend!" the boy politely kissed the top of your aunt's hand "I don't think you will need to worry about my relationships anymore."

You smiled confidently exchanging looks at the boy as your aunt seemed to analyze and judge every inch of him with a disgust feature. She looked at your parents and they just sighed and shrug.

"Y/n, darling, can I talk to you for a second?" you nodded in response and your aunt pulled you 2 steps to the side, which did not help from anything if she wanted a conversation reserved.

"What happened?" you asked as if you didn't knew what was coming.

"Is this boy really your boyfriend?" you nodded again, always smiling "And is he a-"

"A Pogue? Yes, he is a Pogue." you cut her even before she could finish the question "Any problem?"

"No, dear, but I mean, don't you think you should look some more? I don't know, someone here in Figure 8, with a good surname, I always thought that you would make a beautiful couple with the Cameron's prodigal son." you sighed thinking about a polite answer for the lady.

"I'm sorry, auntie, but you are completely wrong. I don't need to look anymore, JJ is definitely my lobster." you smiled leaving her confused with your words.

You turned your back politely and pulled JJ by the hand, with the intention of literally walking with him around the room and telling as many people as possible that this handsome blonde, mop headed Pogue is your boyfriend. While walking around the space you drank a few drinks, teased some people and received many, many looks of judgment. In addition to some cousins of yours commenting things like "I heard he was that crazy guy who shouted a gun at the Boneyard". But you couldn't care less, even more after some doses of alcohol.

"I need to go to the bathroom, stay here, it'll only take a sec." you gave a kiss on JJ's cheek before leaving him near the bar counter.

You were on your way back from the bathrooms when bumped into someone. It was Amber, she is your cousin, but you two didn't always get along. One time when you were 7, she threw your plush turtle in the pool and as revenge you stuck chewing gum in her hair. There was also the time when you were in 8th grade and she told your mom that you and Sarah went to Topper's house at night to drink vodka with powdered juice. Well, after that you have distanced and now when you meet by chance you pretend to like each other.

"I'm sorry!" she said with that annoying voice "Oh my God, Y/n, is that you?"

"Yes, cousin, it's me!" you smiled pretending to be excited.

"Look at you! You mean you have boobs now?" yeah, and my boyfriend loves them! okay, that's what you thought, in fact you just smirked raising eyebrows.

"Yeah, I think so. But you remain the same! Just with a little more chemical in the hair." you teased in the same mocking tone of her.

"Y/n/n, always so funny." she let a fake laugh and looked away "Damn, since when did the waiters from the Cut get so hot?"

You turned around and soon realized that she was talking about JJ, who was still leaning against the counter. As much as you were a little jealous for hearing her call your boyfriend hot right in your face, you were also proud to be able to tell her that he is already yours.

"Oh, actually he's not a waiter, he's my boyfriend." you smiled confident biting your own lip.

"Shit, don't mock me Y/n, you and that guy?" she laughed trying to disguise the wide eyes, Amber always made a point of telling that you were too ugly to get a boyfriend.

"Yep, me and that guy." from a distance JJ realized you were staring and then waved at you, who responded with your most proud smile.

"Ugh, I can't really understand what you and Sarah see in those Pogues, they're disgusting." funny to see how she changed her mind just in a few seconds.

"Let's say they're like that song."

"Song? What song?" she asked confused moving her gaze to you.

"You know, harder, better, faster, stronger, oh and add 'bigger'." you slowly said containing your laughter by biting the inside of your cheek.

She stared at you with a shooked look, and speechless. You must admit that the situation was quite satisfactory, seeing your dear cousin unresponsive on learning that you are not the ugly duckling as she always liked to say. You couldn't help but let out a little laugh, and then you excused yourself to return to your boy's arms.

"Who was that?" he asked when you leaned beside him on the counter.

"It's my cousin Amber, I hate her." he giggled and you fake smiled looking over your shoulder to see the fake blonde girl staring at you two.

"So what were you talking about?" he fixed your hair behind your ear gazing you.

"Nothing much, I was just telling her how is to be dating a 'dirty Pogue'..." you teased bending to whisper on his ear.

"Dirty Pogue, huh? And how is it like?" he frowned with a mischievous smirk.

"Well, it can be so many things, and I would risk to say that "dirty" is one of them." you smiled biting you lower lip with your eyes fixated on his blue ones.

JJ smiled back and moved his gaze to your lips, quickly kissing them and moving his wet lips to your cheeks, until reach the sweet spot behind your ear. Fuck, this is pretty good but let's say that the middle of your family meeting isn't the right place for you guys do it.

"J, stop, not right now." you giggled raising your eyebrows and softly pushing him away.

"Why not?" he pouted with puppy eyes.

"Because all my family is seeing us?" you used an obvious tone, 'cause it was obvious.

"Maybe we could sneak out?" you narrowed your eyes thinking about his proposal.

"Soon, first we'll show that people how we move on the Cut." you answered when heard one of your favorite songs playing outside.

You dragged your boyfriend by the hand until you reach the middle of the dance floor, at first he was kinda shy, but being with you makes him feel more comfortable, and as soon you both were already moving your bodies like no one was around. Laughing, drinking and kissing, you were stealing the show, this until you feel someone tap your shoulder and when you turned, you faced a man who was probably the photographer, since he held a professional camera in his hands.

"Excuse me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?" he asked politely.

"Yes, why?" you frowned holding JJ behind you.

"Oh, they're looking for you to take the annual family picture, can you follow me, please?" he pointed to the entrance hall.

"Ah sure, come on baby." you nodded bringing JJ with you.

When you reached the hall everyone of your family was there posing and waiting for you, soon you found your parents on the left side and before joining them, you stopped to straight your hair and JJ's bow tie. When you had just finished fixing his suit, your dad stopped you by your shoulders.

"Y/n, sweetie, I know JJ is important to you, but I think it's best that he doesn't appear with you in the official photos." you frowned when your dad moved his gaze to the blonde right behind you.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" you snapped with a bit angry tone.

"It's nothing personal, honey, it's just 'cause you know, you’re still young and he’s just your boyfriend, we don’t know if it will last long." your father said making you chuckle shooking your head, that's unbelievable.

"Nothing personal, right? So why can Andrew's girlfriend appear in this stupid picture and JJ cannot?" you stormed pointing to your cousin and his girlfriend already posing to the camera.

"Y/n please, don't make a scene." you dad sighed when noticed that everyone looked at you.

"Is because he's a Pogue, isn't it?" you asked with anger burning your face.

"Y/n it's okay, it's just a photo." JJ tried to calm you down and leave it, but you didn't listen.

"You see, sweetie, it's not a big deal." and you're also sick of your dad pretending that everything is perfect.

"You know what? You guys can keep with this Kook bullshit and take this fucking picture, but I will not be part of it." you said confidently causing JJ to giggle behind you and your father give you a pissed gaze.

"What the hell you think you're doing, young lady?" your dad murmured holding your arm carefully.

"I'm throwing off my chains." you stepped back confronting him.

"Y/n, darling, stop it! You're embarrassing me and your father!" your mom shout out when she noticed that you were about to leave.

"Whatever! I'm already the family’s shame!" you shouted taking a few steps back until reaching JJ, who have a proud look in his face.

"Y/f/n! Come back here! You can't do it!" Y/m/n shouted one more time.

"Yeah, but I'm already doing." with a twist on your own feet you answered back while stealing a drink from the waiter's tray that passed by.

At this time everyone is looking at you with wide eyes, your parents flushing in anger and JJ, oh JJ is paralyzed with a huge smile on his face, he's so proud of seeing his badass girlfriend facing everyone to defend him. This was something you wanted to do a long time ago, and a family meeting seemed like the perfect time for you to throw everything up in the air. And that is what you did.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" you stopped making exaggerated expressions "Auntie Mary! You should find your own husband before give hunches on my boyfriends!" you said with a soft tone pointing to your old single aunt standing a few meters from you.

"Y/d/n, you should fix your daughter!" she yelled angry.

"And Amber!" the fake blonde jumped when she heard her name "Cousin, you should try to hook up with a Pogue anytime, they're so fucking hot!" you smiled biting your tongue and looked to JJ, who let out a big laugh and soon disguised because of your father's gaze to him.

Everyone was staring at you and your parents with jaw dropping, you always showed some personality differences compared to the rest of the family, but no one ever imagined you were that bold. Okay, the drinks helped you do that, but they say that when a person gets drunk is when she shows who she really is. And this is you for real. While hearing comments like "How absurd" or "This is a shame", you poured your entire drink in a single sip and dropped the glass on the floor, hurrying to leave that shit party.

"Come on, blondie, are you with me or what?" you raised your eyebrows calling JJ to follow you. He looked at your parents and they gave a serious look to him. But he didn't care right now.

"Sorry, Mr and Mrs Y/l/n," he laughed stepping backwards "your daughter is crazy!"

He shouted shooking his head and turning around to run towards you. You both laughed and you waited for him to embrace you at the big front door, you explicit kissed and left everyone behind, running hand in hand until you reached the parking lot. Inside of your car you two waited for the laughter to lose their strength to catch your breath.

"Oh my God this was insane!" you smiled heavy breathing and looking at the blonde on your passenger seat.

"My girl is a huge badass!" he pulled you for another kiss, this time it was longer and full of proud and desire.

"Okay, your place or the Chateau?" he said breathlessly, pulling away and looking at you.

"Definitely the Chateau. And hope John B isn't home." you gave a nasty smile and started your car.

You're gonna be dead when you see your parents again, but it's fine, still worth it.