#Wrestlers in glasses
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😭
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we’re autism4autism have i ever mentioned that
#YOU BET MY ASS I WILL SIT AND LISTEN HIM TALK ABOUT THE AERODYNAMIC DIFFERENCES IN PLANES#YOU BET MY ASS I WILL SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO HIM TALK WHILE HE WORKS ON HIS BIKE#literally my favorite thing to do is listen to people talk abt their special interest#I have learned more things in life by hearing people talk then I have ever learned in school#my sister is the reason I am so knowledgeable about w.we i know these all of these wrestlers just by listening to her and I love it ☝🏽#funky hanging on to every word I say as I talk about the regional differences and variants of my tamagotchis#‘have I ever told you about the one where you can send your tama.gotchi to go get a job. you have to give them a resume. they can reject you#‘I am madly in love with you.’#sorry I’m crazy i love this hc so much#THE REASON HE WEARS THE GLASSES ALL THE TIME EVERYWHERE ?? LIGHT SENSITIVITY ISSUES!!!!#THE REASON HE SEEMS SO ECCENTRIC AND ODD AMONG HIS PEERS SOMETIMES? MISSING SOCIAL CUES BABY!!!!!!!#I think it’s fun to think the coolest mf on the island is autistic LIKE I KNOW THATS RIGHTT 🔥🔥🔥🔥#ok sorry for rambling I love talking about this#doodles#self ship#self shipping#bipoc self ship#🦍🏄♂️🌊
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#biker#bald#red beard#ginger#roughpatch#sheamus#pale#teddy r#smoker#beard#pecs#cigar#chest hair#bear#hairy#wrestler#redneck#champion belt#navel#glasses#stubble#mustache
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Jay Uso , Yeet !
#yeet#jay uso#wwe#raw#wrestler#icn#drawing#pic#photo#glasses#terror twins#rhea ripley#fighter#art#pop culture#entertainment
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which one of you made a “which spn character would you snog” poll?? bc my dad saw it on tumblr (he has an account apparently) and I asked him who he’d pick and he said. he said “the gilmore girls guy” 😫😭 this poll is tearing my family apart. i gotta disown my dad now 😔
#he said jared is ‘prettier’ and jensen looks ‘too much like a dude’#dad. u need glasses. i know this. you’ve needed glasses for years and refuse to wear them#tho it was funny bc he said dean ‘looks like a wrestler’ and I mean. he IS a wrestling champion<3#vic.txt
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iwc wild bc sometimes someone will say "i dont fuck with this wrestler because hes a bad person and he should be deplatformed" and that means, like, the person confessed they did things that theyd have gone to jail for if they werent a public figure.
Then sometimes it means "i saw a tweet one time where someone said that they knew a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that wrestled in the indies 15 years ago and that guy says that he DEFINITELY did this thing that's wrong no i do not have access to the tweet OR any specifics or names of sources and if you google it it won't show up."
And sometimes its "I will not even tell you what they supposedly did, just that everyone KNOWS they are bad. No nothing will pop up if you google them aside from tweets saying that everyone knows."
#and then secret fourth category is when what theyre being accused of is like#something that even if it were true would warrant like#getting a drink thrown on them#not being permanently blacklisted from the profession forever and ever and ever#and then all of these accusations will be coming from people that still actively stan and support wrestlers that like#have tweeted that they dont believe in gay marriage or admitted to battering women and never said they regretted it :\#so like the squared circle is made of glass and everyone has a rock at this point#tussling
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Dave Bautista - Glass Onion: A Knives Out Story (2022)
#dave bautista#Bautista#glass onion#knives out#celeb#athlete#actor#wrestler#muscles#flexing#pecs#pec bounce#tatted#tattoos#davebautista
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HAPPY 55TH BIRTHDAY, DAVE BAUTISTA!!!
#happy birthday#brown eyes#happy birthday 2024#january 18#january 2024#dave bautista#actor#professional wrestler#drax the destroyer#guardians of the galaxy#wwe#capricorn#greek#filipino#glass onion#lgbt activism
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GOOD NEWS keo has been returned to the living. She is however a tree person now and seemingly with baggage attached
#wastepaper basket#Was given a knife and everything. Idk what to do with that she specialises in big sticks#mammoth wrestler campaign#AND THE MAMMOTH WRESTLER HAS RETURNED#My boy errol also made an appearance bless him he was there he's helping#Hands against the glass my boy I love you but I must commit to the og first. You understand
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Oh my god
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I'm having a party because I defeated Charisma and won tequila as the prize but I wonder if I can drink 100 bottles of tequila ~
"It has been decided.
I'm having a party because I defeated Charisma and won tequila as the prize, but I wonder if I can drink 100 bottles of tequila ~
I hate the titles of those wish-fulfillment isekai mangas but somehow the name of my own event sounds like an isekai
I defeated Charisma in a singles match that a Mexican tourism company was sponsoring, and the winner of the match was rewarded with Jose Cuervo.
Me and Charisma will sign the empty limited edition Day of the Dead bottles and sell them for charity (because the rules around selling unopened bottles of alcohol are complicated)
To do that, we need to empty the bottles!
Charisma's an alcoholic, but I can't drink every day like that!
That's why I need help!
If I put a link into this post it won't work but, if you go to DDT-san's homepage and NJPW's homepage you can get all the information about the event!
See you there, and thank you!"
This event sounds amazing. They're holding three of these total - one at Yano's sports bar EBRIETAS, and one at each of DDT's two bars, Dropkick and SWANDIVE. Tickets are 6000 yen (around $40) and distributed by lottery system. A ticket gives you either 90 or 120 minutes at the event depending on the venue. Desperado is hosting the events himself, and he will personally pour you shots of tequila for 500 yen a shot (around $3.50)
#njpw#ddt pro#el desperado#sasaki daisuke#my translation#You also get a limited edition shot glass designed by Rolling Cradle (who also designed those cool shirts for Despy and Kasai's matches)#I would love to go to this but if I did I might actually die lol#He's planning to donate the proceeds of the signed bottles to charities for injured wrestlers#bless everyone who goes to this but especially the people who take the risk on those tickets for swandive specifically#swandive is so small that only 12 people can fit in there at a time so it'll be the best one to go to but the hardest one to win tickets to
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i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.
adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.
right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.
it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.
still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.
i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.
i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.
so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.
coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."
and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.
still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.
i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.
so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went
...oh.
and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.
so i did.
i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.
i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.
it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:
*ptooie.* "that all you got?"
i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!
but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.
my coach did not.
i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.
"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"
and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said
"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."
which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.
and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.
fine.
but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.
and then he left.
and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."
but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.
and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.
he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.
and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.
#whew boy this make me anxious just typing it#wrestling#middle school#the dread#i feel like i have to write some stories about my grandpa not being a dick#because he was actually an amazing grandpa#he just had a few goofs are very comedic moments#and you know if you're gonna have a goof making it comedic is a virtue in itself#he was there for me more than a lot of my classmates dads were#and i dont want that undervalued#yeah#babylon-lore
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Johnny Poke
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fine shyt is a sweetheart and fundamentally good person
#HE'S SUCH A CUTIEEE RAGGGHHHHH#wrestler and LOVES his dog and wears glasses and tall and he's passionate abt his interests and he's a NERD and doesnt know how to flirt#which is adorable#he's such a yapperrrrr
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Papi, I am melting
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sumo - wrestler-sports-poland-glass-christmas_
NEW Christmas Ornament Blown glass SUMO WRESTLER Japanese Japan sport POLAND ebay keero6472
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