#Withholding poop

[traegorn]

The revolution is coming, people disagreeing with you is not a psyop, and I've watched the sausage get made long before you were pooping in diapers. Voting for genocide is voting for genocide.

You are already complicit in genocide. You were born with blood on your hands and grew up in a home on stolen land.

When I say the revolution isn't coming, I’m talking about the supposed magical “revolution” I’ve heard performative do nothing pseudo-leftists talk about with reverence for decades. It's no different than when Evangelicals talk about the Rapture. You think some magical movement is coming to save you.

No one is.

Things change when people take action, and if we lose this election there will be no actions left you can take. Voting for Biden isn't endorsing him, it's putting yourself in a position where you can keep fighting.

And I'm sick of fake leftists pretending Biden and Trump are the same on Palestine. Biden is the only President in my lifetime who has even threatened to withhold aid from the Israeli government, while Trump says he wants to "finish the job." Characterizing these as the same hurts all of us -- you can move the needle on one of those, you can't on the other.

Take responsibility for your own actions. Vote for Biden, and then keep fighting him. Actually do something instead of arm-chair quarterbacking politics for once.

(Also, anon? "I've watched the sausage get made long before you were pooping in diapers." I'm in my forties. If you're claiming to be 20 years older than me and you're sending weird anons on Tumbr... you're either a liar or the most pathetic motherfucker I've ever seen. 😆)

[waterskies]

Hi, I have a question.

How do you not kill fish? I was put in charge of two baby comet goldfish, one of them died because it either was stressed out or was overfed, and nobody in my family knew how to take care of fish, even though my dad acted like he knew everything there is to know about taking care of animals. The person who gifted me the fish got them from a pet store, so I knew in the back of my mind that they were going to die regardless of what I did. I kept them at my house because I was going to give them to my friend, but turns out she doesn’t have a fish tank because her POS mom is withholding the fish tank and proper equipment from her. I had no choice but to keep them in the largest container we had, which was a large measuring cup, and I had to net them with a strainer to change the water.

I wanted to give back the fish when I got the two of them, but now I’m paying the price.

Honestly, the best thing you can do for the remaining fish is to call up your local pet/fish stores and see if they'll take the fish off your hands. Keeping it in a measuring cup is guaranteed to kill it. Goldfish poop a lot and will toxify that amount of water in no time. You would have to change the water multiple times a day to keep up with water quality, and honestly, it's cruel to keep it such a small container. I know you're doing the best you can, and thank you for reaching out for help! But unless you can go and get a temporary tank and filter set up soon, the best thing you can do is take it to a pet store. You can also try and rehome it to other fishkeepers. Check out some groups on Facebook and see if you can find someone in your area with a big enough tank or a pond to house them in. In the meantime, I would suggest two or so water changes a day to try and keep the ammonia down in the measuring cup and try not to feed too much. The less waste produced, the better! I hope this helps!

[renren-006]

Hello! I hope you’re well!

I’ve recently watched The Gray Man and was hoping you could do a Court x Reader one-shot!

Here is what I was wanted it to be about:

Court and Claire are living in an apartment complex in Romania and the reader is their neighbor. Let’s say in this the Lloyd is still alive and the reader is spying for him. Court has major trust issues because he’s trying to protect Claire, but the reader is able to trick them into thinking she’s just a friendly neighbor. They even have movie nights and dinner together sometimes.

The reader decides she can’t go through with letting Lloyd get to them. When she goes to see Lloyd and pretends she hasn’t made progress on finding them, he hits her over the back of the head and kicks her in the stomach/ribs repeatedly as punishment. She goes back to the apartment in Romania joins Court and Claire again for a movie night.

She has a really bad concussion, so she’s pretty off her game, but still put on the act for Court and Claire. During the movie, the reader stands up and feels really dizzy. She passes out briefly and when she wakes up she’s on the couch and Court is knelt down beside her. She’s really disoriented and tries get up. She cries out and grasps her ribs and Court makes her stay laying down on the couch. He looks at her ribs and stomach and asks her how it happened. He’s really sweet and caring, shushing her and telling her she’s okay and safe while checking her ribs for breaks and wrapping them.

The reader tells Court everything and Court becomes angry with her. She apologizes profusely and tells him that he and Claire need to get out of Romania. She passes out again and Court ends up caving and carrying her down to the car to go with them.

When she wakes up Court tells her this is her only second chance and she’s grateful that she doesn’t have to go back to Lloyd.

THATS A LOT! SORRY! If you don’t want to write it, that’s okay!

The Spy Next Door | Court Genry x Reader

word count: 1521

warning: violence towards female character

a/n: hey! i love your idea thank you for requesting it!! I did change the ending to make it fit more with the story and have a good flow!! if you want any more Court stories please let me know! i really hope you enjoy it!!

“Claire!” Court shouted down the apartment building hallway.

He had lost track of her in the winding stairs up to their floor. Claire's head pooped out from behind the door, with a grocery bag in her hand, matching the multiple in Court's hands. Court breath reflected from its hold as he fished around for the key to the door. The two of them had been living in an apartment complex in Romania for over six months.

You knew this because you had been here the same amount of time he showed up. Your conscience hated you for what you were involved in. Lloyd had you spying on Court, and you had the bruises around your thighs to prove that he was ruthless and didn't care why you were withholding information. You had gotten close to Court and Claire over those months and frequented their apartment for movie nights and dinners. You loved those nights spent on the couch in the dark, trying to act as if you didn't want to snuggle up to Court every time you sat next to him on the couch. Claire gave you smug looks every so often.

The difference between the two apartments was that your apartment was bare, filled with scattered around the room, and guns littering your kitchen tables. All loaded, none used. Your walls bore nothing but the old paint, and still you had skeletons in your closet not clothes. while Courts and Clairs were filled with art, photos, and books on the bookshelves. Claire's bedroom was painted a pretty pink and was covered with records, books, and of course medical supplies. Clouts was grey, a neat bed and neat walls filled with an old photo of his lost friend, and one of Court and Claire, both sitting on his mantle by the wall. Otherwise he was more conservative with his wall space.

Your apartment was so bare due to the overwhelming fears that kept you awake. Every shadow that passed through your window scared you at night. You didn't dare get comfortable if you got killed by Lloys or Court for what you were involved in.

Lloyd was on a mission, after what happened between him and Court last time they met you knew he had a vengeance that ended in death. Your head was already one he wanted and once Court figured it out he would never forgive you for the things you told Lloyd about him and Claire. Lloyd didn’t care at all about the girl just getting to Court, and so thought that meant if they got their hands on Claire, better leverage. You were trying your best to leave her out of it, just mentioning little things, Lloyd didn't like any of this and the hits on your body under your clothes were evidence to that. You loved Court, you had grown such strong feelings for him, and you knew if you let him in he might not like the person you were. Distance and saving him were the best things you could do for him and Claire.

It wasn’t until one Saturday at their house, and the looks Court gave you that you knew you couldn’t let them get hurt, and couldn’t keep living this life. You left early that night, using the flat iron plugged in as your excuse.

You left and headed to Llyod mansion he had time to play in. Your nerves were getting to you, running over the thoughts and ideas that were swarming your head.

“Ah, Y/N!” Lloyd's voice rang through the dining room. “What information do you have for me today”

“i…i can’t do this anymore” you told him, Lloyds face stayed neutral.

“What?”

“I can’t seem to get any more information out of them” you told Lloyd who gave you a questioning look.

“I see, you have feelings for him now don’t you” Lloyd said, “sympathizing with the man that ruined my life, my job, my career” You sprung back as he walked towards you. You tried to have courage but you just muttered out the real thing you wanted to say.

“ I can’t work for you anymore…this is too much”

“And to think you were my most loyal worker.”Lloyd said as he motioned for the men behind you to grab you, keeping you on your feet and in your place. He came over to you and punched you in the stomach making you feel like puking. Another strike and another came at you. “If you want to disobey, try to leave? I'll make you wish I'd killed you” Lloyd said.

You stumbled back to your apartment, barely conscious , brushed and beaten by Lloyd who said you were never free of him. You did in that moment wish he had finished the job so you didn't have to stumble, or walk back into the building you came to hate, and the neighbors door you wish you never had to see again.You made your way up the stairs, spotty vision and weak legs. Just your luck Court was walking outside his door when he saw you.

“Y/N?” he said, before you could respond your vision weekend and you lost control falling over, and thankfully into Courts now outstretched arms. Court was terrified, the woman he fell for and who lived across the hall from him just passed out on him.

Court lifted you off the floor and took you to his apartment. When you were placed on the couch and the buses made themself apparent to the man, he was furious. Who would do this to you? Why would they do this to you? the questions he had couldn’t be answered at the moment, so he had to wait till you awoke.

When you woke up it was already midday. Court sat on the chair next to you, asleep in his hand.

“Court?” You said, voice hoarse and dry. Court shot out of his sheet and crouched beside you. He was worried, and for the right reasons, you just didn’t know how to tell him about your other life.

“What happened?”He asked you.

“I…I've been lying to you” you told him, Court's expression changed. It wasn't a worry any more, it turned into caution and not for himself.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“No, no I don't think so. The guy I work for has such a hatred towards you Court that I don’t think I can do what he has asked me to do” you told him, Court knew who you were talking about, and he hated that you were involved. “I’m scared”

“Did he do this to you?” That question was the only one that the Court wanted answered. He didn’t care if his life was in danger, he wanted to make sure yours was not.

“Yes” it was a relief telling Court about the other life, about the hatred this man had and about the abuse you went through. “I went after the movie, to tell him I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t work for him anymore”

“Y/N” Court said, “What did he ask you to do?”

“He wants you dead. He wanted me to become friends with you and tell him things about your life, about Claire's life. I gave him bits, never the whole truth. I never told him where Claire went to school and I said I never found out where you worked. I lied and lied because after a while I couldn’t stand the idea of hurting you, or losing you. I knew I was a goner, weather it was by telling you the truth and you hating me or being killed by Lloyd because i’m incompetent”

“I’m not going to kill you Y/N, but I am mad” Court said, grabbing your face. “I’m mad because if you had told me this was happening I would have done anything in my power to save you, and I will do that now too. If you had given him all that information, we would all be dead now. The only reason we are not, is because you’ve been lying to buy time, now that depends how much time we have not before we're all dead?” Court said, anger and relief flooding through his veins.

You tried sitting up but clutched your side and let out a yelp. your ribs were severely hurt and the bruises along your sides and front made you feel light headed. Court eased you back down. You passed out soon after that and was woken up by Court placing you in the seat next to him in the car. Claire in the backseat along with the piled of luggage from the two in the apartment but from yours as well. You glanced over at Court next to you.

“This is your only second chance” he said to you as you drove out of Romania. “Please trust me next time, tell me if your in trouble”

“I know. I will Court, thank you” you said. Court smiled and continued driving out of Romania back towards Europe, maybe Belgium will be nice this time of year

[novemberhope]

Summary: Neri's secret is out. Notes: I lowkey want to write Neri after the timeskip now when she has gotten considerably stronger and Zoro sees her fighting for the first time - BUT I suck at writing fights...... More Notes: I wrote this a while ago but got bored... but I forced myself to finish it now Even More Notes: Takes place shortly after they reach the Grandline but before they meet Vivi, Chopper or Robin. Word Count: 2893

When she was hauled up on the Going Merry, fishtail and all, Neri knew the game was up. She had kept her secret for the longest time, but of course, eventually, they had to find out. She had just hoped it would have taken them a little while longer. But there really had been no other way. She had been the closest, so naturally, she had jumped right into the ocean after Luffy to save him. If she had called for someone else, he might have already sunk too deep for them to reach him in time. And then she would have had to jump in anyway.

Now she was soaking wet, her hair even longer than usual and her tail so long and heavy, that they had to lift her up like she was some kind of freight. She fidgeted nervously and avoided looking at anyone when she was finally lifted on deck. Luffy, on the other hand, seemed to be his usual self. Almost drowning hadn’t done much to shake him. Instead, he looked at Neri almost in awe.

“Wow, you turned into a…”

“Mermaid,” Sanji whispered. She half expected a nosebleed from him, but it didn’t happen. He just looked at her like he was seeing her for the very first time.

“Ummm… yes…,” she muttered, wishing the sun would burn hotter. As soon as she would be completely dry again, she would transform back into her human form. They were at sea, so she couldn’t run off - but she could lock herself somewhere - or jump overboard again. She would be able to escape for sure that way. The downside was that she had no idea where to go, but at least she would get away.

“What happened?” Luffy asked, touching her fins. He didn’t seem angry at her for withholding such a secret. He seemed to be rather confused as to how she suddenly turned into a mermaid. “Are you able to turn back?”

“Sure,” Neri muttered. “Once I’m dry…”

“Luffy, I doubt she just turned into a mermaid by accident - I’m pretty sure she’s been one all along,” Nami interrupted. She threw Neri a long look. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes…”

“Figures,” Zoro mumbled, leaning casually against the railing. “Told you there’s something she’s not telling us.”

“I think it’s awesome”, Usopp said. “I’ve never met a real life mermaid!”

“Yes, she’s beautiful,” Sanji agreed, never taking his eyes off her.

“Stop ogling her,” Nami hissed before turning back to Neri. “Do you need something to dry yourself? A towel, perhaps?”

“A towel would be fine,” she muttered. “But the sun will do the rest anyway.”

“I still think it’s awesome,” Luffy interrupted. “By the way, how do you poop?”

Neri blinked. “What??”

“Luffy, I can’t believe you asked her that!” Sanji exclaimed. “Don’t answer that, Neri. You know what, I’ll go and get you a towel.”

“Thanks…”

Why were they being so nice? That wasn’t fair. It only gave her hope that everything would turn out alright. Which it wouldn’t, of course. Neri had experienced first hand what humans were capable of. She was the only survivor of their cruelty and greed.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nami wanted to know. “And just how long did you think you could keep this from us? Sooner or later, you would have ended up in the ocean. I’m actually amazed it didn’t happen sooner.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Keeping something like this from us is dangerous,” Nami scolded. “We’re on the Grandline now. We need to know these things to prepare for battles or difficulties. We need to make sure you don’t end up in the water at the most inconvenient time.”

“I’m sorry,” Neri repeated. She looked down at her fingers. They hadn’t returned to their human form yet. “I know I shouldn’t have come along - but - I needed to get away from the East Blue, and I thought - once we reach Fishman Island…”

“Fishman Island is in the New World,” Usopp remarked. “You really thought you could stay out of the water until then?”

“I needed to get to the Grandline somehow, and then…” Neri shrugged. Chances of her making it to Fishman Island on her own were slim. But she’d heard the stories about Fishman Island from her parents and the other merfolk. It sounded like a safe place to be. The East Blue no longer was safe for her.

“So you… don’t want to come along with us on our journey?” Luffy suddenly asked. He stood at the end of her large tail, water dripping from his hair and still-wet clothes. He seemed more concerned with the fact that she didn’t want to accompany them further than Fishman Island than with the idea of her being a mermaid or having kept a secret for so long.

“I… would love to come along on your journey,” Neri replied, now also confused. “But… I’m a mermaid…”

“Yeah, so?”

So it didn't sound like he was going to sell her to the next best bidder, which reassured her a little. Sure, she hadn’t actually thought that any of the Strawhats would do that, but her trust had been misplaced before, so…

“Mermaids fetch high prices on the black market,” Sanji said, coming back with a towel which he handed Neri.

“But you’re my crewmember - I’m not selling you!” Luffy exclaimed. “You just saved my life by jumping into the ocean after me.”

“That’s nice, Luffy, but…” Old insecurities came flooding back and Neri quickly buried her face in the towel. “I’m not a fighter. What do I bring to the table? Once people find out I’m a mermaid, you will have even more people after you. And you already have a target on your back. You don’t have to add another one.”

“You just said it,” Zoro said without looking at her. “We already have a target on our back. One more won’t make a difference.”

Slowly, Neri put the towel down. She hadn’t really expected Zoro to speak up on this in favor of her.

“But -”

“You can be Luffy’s lifeguard,” Usopp grinned.

“No, she can’t,” Nami exclaimed. “Luffy is responsible for his own safety. He does not get his own personal lifeguard. He can do the mature thing and not climb all over the Going Merry all the time when it’s not strictly necessary for him to do that.”

Luffy’s face fell. “But -”

“She can do something else, but she’s not your babysitter,” Nami repeated.

“If she wants to stay,” Zoro reminded her.

“Well, do you?” Luffy asked eagerly.

It took a moment or two for Neri to actually process this. Her secret was out and she was still welcome here? And they were willing to risk having people come after them because of her?

“There’s nothing I want more,” Neri immediately said. Apart from her own family, she hadn’t felt anywhere this much at home than here with the Strawhats. She hadn’t dared to get her hopes up - but maybe believing in her new friends would have given her some peace of mind sooner. All those nights thinking about what would happen if they found out - all those worries - all those feelings of inadequacy… perhaps if only she had found the trust in her friends and the courage to bring this up sooner…

“Great!” Luffy was grinning ear to ear. “I can’t believe I’ve got a real mermaid on my crew!”

“I’m still confused though,” Usopp said. “Aren’t mermaids all home on Fishman Island? At least that’s what I’ve heard…”

“That’s what I’ve heard, too,” Neri admitted, finally using the towel to dry off her tail. “There was some… conflict, or so they’ve said… which lead to my ancestors and other merfolk to split from Fishman Island. I think they’ve been looking for a new home for a long while, traveling the seas - until they ended up in that particular corner of the East Blue. My parents were born there and so was I.”

“Now it makes sense,” Nami mused. “How little you know about our world… even for someone growing up in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere, you…”

Right. Neri’s cheeks turned pink when she thought about the first few weeks with the Strawhats.

“I was told a lot about humans growing up,” she explained. “Well, mostly, to stay away from them, but also - general stuff about the human world, mostly so I’d know what to avoid or what not to do in order to avoid getting caught, but…”

“Gotta learn how to poop, right?” Luffy grinned.

“Luffy, will you stop with the pooping!?” Sanji sighed. “If you really don’t know how fish poop, read a book. Don’t bother Neri with that nonsense!”

“It’s fine, really,” Neri quickly said but at the same time she was thankful for not having to explain things.

Luffy wasn’t bothered in the slightest since something else had already captured his attention.

“Look!” he said, pointing at Neri’s tail. “I think you’re changing back!”

Neri looked down at herself and instead of her beautiful pale blue tail, her legs were back in place. She was now considerably smaller and even though her hair was still very long, it had shrunken down in size as well.

“Oh, so you’re not losing your clothes when you transform back?” Sanji wanted to know. He kind of sounded sad about it.

“You are unbelievable,” Nami sighed. “No more of poop or losing clothes or I’ll be coming for you! Neri, are you alright?”

“Yes, I think so…” Neri, now with both of her legs again, slowly got up. Her legs felt a bit shaky and she still felt a bit nervous.

“Good,” Nami concluded. “I’ll bring the Merry back on course then.”

“I’ll prepare some snacks,” Sanji said.

Usopp also dragged Luffy away which left Neri with Zoro who was still standing at the same spot. But since it was his usual napping place, it wasn’t that unusual.

“Knew you were hiding something,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Neri said.

“I’m not Luffy,” he said. “I don’t care how you poop. But we need some trust around here. If there is none, you better get off at Fishman Island.”

“I do trust you,” Neri hastily explained. “I just… didn’t think anyone would be willing to risk this much. Luffy, maybe. Why would you…”

“Well, are we a crew or not?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“We are,” Neri quickly assured him. “I just - I guess I told myself over and over that once my secret is out I’m done for - after all, that’s what was what I was told all through my childhood. I do like yo— all of you. I should have trusted you earlier.”

“You definitely should have,” Zoro agreed.

It was awkward standing here and Zoro not being a man of many words made it even more awkward. Neri felt like she had to explain herself all over again.

“I guess I have some… trust issues? I mean, deep down, I knew Luffy wasn’t going to… sell me. But… I guess I really like it here… with you guys… and I didn’t… want to get… left behind somewhere either…”

“Well…” Zoro was so difficult to read and this was no exception. “Since we didn’t abandon you and you said you’re not a fighter, training lessons are in order. Can’t have you slowing us down, can we?”

“Of course not, I don’t want to slow anyone down.” Neri’s gaze traveled to Zoro’s swords. Would she get sword fighting lessons?

“Unless you have some fishman strength or something?” he inquired, looking her up and down. It was clear he didn’t think so and well, he was right.

“No, I’m not a fishman - I mean, I can swim extremely fast - and I have a bit of control over the water… I haven’t used it much before because I was always told it’s to risky for us young ones with barely trained powers but I always saw my parents do it…”

“What can you do with it?” Zoro wanted to know.

“Like… I could use it to make the ship go faster… as if someone was pushing it or something…”

At least she hoped she could do it. It had always looked easy enough when her father has been doing it. She remembered him creating some currents when they were young, which had Neri and her sisters go round and round, drifting along with the current, laughing and giggling.

“How fast?”

Neri jumped back when suddenly Luffy appeared in front of her, dangling from the mast with his feet and stretching his rubber legs all the way down until he came face to face with Neri.

“Luffy, no,” Zoro sighed.

“But Zoro, this is amazing - just think how fast we can travel!” Luffy grinned. He turned back to Neri. “Can we go, like, extremely fast?”

“I guess… but is that wise? That’s gonna draw attention?”

Besides, Neri wasn't sure how well she would be able to exert control. She didn’t accidentally want to capsize the Going Merry.

“Well - a little bit then?” Luffy begged.

“Fine, but you better come down here,” Neri said. She found it a bit irritating to talk to Luffy when he was hanging down a mast like that. It took Luffy only a few seconds to get back up and then climb down like a literal monkey. Grinning, he came running up.

“Let’s go, Neri!”

Neri followed him to the other end of the ship. She really wanted to impress him and prove herself useful. But she was nervous too, especially since Zoro was also following them.

“What are you guys doing?” Nami called after them.

“Neri can make us going really fast!” Luffy exclaimed in excitement.

“You better be ready to steer,” Zoro called over to her. “I have no idea what this will turn into.”

“We do not need to go fast right now,” Nami said, but she also knew Luffy and what he was like when he had made up his mind.

“We’ll go a little bit faster but nothing too risky,” Neri promised.

Usopp and Sanji joined them as well.

“Can you do this from above here?” Usopp wanted to know.

“It works better when I touch the water actually,” Neri said. “But it can work from a distance. Since I don’t want the Merry to shoot all across the Grandline, it’s probably better this way.” She paused. “I have not been trained in doing this. I apologize if it doesn’t go as expected.”

She leaned over the railing and looked down at the ocean, the ship swaying gently beneath her. She felt an urge to plunge into the ocean, to lose herself within the waves.

“It’s not doing anything!” Luffy complained.

“Have a bit of patience,” Zoro sighed.

Neri held her outstretched hands above the water and looked down at the waves. She felt an immediate connection with the sea. Closing her eyes, she could feel the water rushing and the currents flowing, moving the Going Merry further along. She concentrated on them and began to push them upwards, guiding the water into a forceful stream that would catch the Going Merry and propel it forward.

“Look! We’re picking up speed!” Luffy and Usopp exclaimed in excitement.

“This is actually pretty useful,” Nami said, quickly steering the Going Merry to go with the current. The ship was moving a lot faster now.

“Go faster!” Luffy cried, probably seeing himself reaching the end of the Grandline at top speed now.

“I think that’s enough for now,” Zoro quickly cut in. “It’s a fine speed but we don’t need to go faster. Especially using untrained powers.”

“But I can keep it like this for a while,” Neri promised, seeing Luffy’s face fell.

“Yes please!” Luffy grinned. “This is a fine speed! I’ll sit on the figurehead - that’s going to be fun!”

“Don’t fall in again!” Sanji warned, knowing fully well that Luffy would do what he wanted anyway.

But Luffy had already stretched his arms and climbed the huge sheep’s head. He found a comfortable position, lying on his back, watching the clouds ahead racing by as the Going Merry quickly moved forward in the afternoon sun.

“This is actually a good pace to take a nap to,” Zoro muttered.

“Of course you would take a nap when there’s a beautiful mermaid on board, Mosshead,” Sanji scolded, leaning at the railing next to Neri, with Usopp on her other side.

“She’s been on this crew longer than you have, moron,” Zoro replied, sitting down and closing his eyes.

“Maybe, but - she’s a mermaid…”

“Please don’t keep mentioning this,” Neri said, not wanting attention for the wrong reasons and especially not the wrong people hearing about this. It was fine when it was just them on the ship, but perhaps it was better to stay away from the topic otherwise.

“Just shut up and enjoy the moment,” Usopp said, fearing one of Zoro’s and Sanji’s usual arguments coming up. But thankfully, Zoro opted for taking a nap instead.

Neri leaned on the railing, the salty wind ruffling her hair. She felt a rush of excitement—maybe she had a place on this crew after all. The Going Merry sailed on, chasing the horizon, and Neri smiled to herself - what other adventures would await them on the Grandline? Only time would tell.

[avastyetwats]

🥧 from Izzy

🥧 - bake autumn treats together (pumpkin pie, cookies, etc...) @izzyeffinhands

"What is it, Izzy? What are we baking?" For days, Izzy was keeping a secret from Stede because it was meant to be a surprise, but Stede being Stede, never stopped begging Izzy for answers. Or at least hints so he could make guesses. But no matter what he even guessed, Izzy refused to to tell him. Multiple times throughout the day, Stede would name different fall themed treats - pumpkin pie, apple pie, pumpkin cookies, maple apple, caramel apple, any and every combination he could think of Stede threw out there, but to no avail. Izzy would only grin and go about whatever he was doing. Baking in his bakery, reading in bed, showering, brushing his teeth, having a poop, etc. Not even his pleading puppy eyes would work and so Stede couldn't help but wonder if they were making multiple things or if there was more to it than just baking. It was driving him crazy and it got to the point where he threatened not to put out, but those were always empty threats. Stede was far too horny for his own good and he could never resist pleasuring Izzy or vise versa. It was the same when he threatened to withhold cuddling or back scratches. Izzy would just shrug and accept it and Stede would whine and cling to him, taking back his threat because he couldn't stand the thought of not cuddling Izzy. It hurt too much.

So, Stede had no choice but to wait. Wait for the day Izzy promised this would be happening and today was finally the day! From the moment they woke up - with his head buried in Izzy's tits - he asked were doing to the moment now where he was asking again, practically clinging to Izzy from behind. "Izzyyyy, come on! What're we doing? What're we making?" Oh, he was SO excited. His imaginary tail was wagging like crazy as he remained attacked to Izzy's back like a puppy.

[feedingbirdz]

I want to bake a cake for Venus. She’s still going through her withholding/potty training journey and every time she poops I’ve been giving her cherry lollipops so she can lose the fear association with the toilet/poop in general. but tomorrow I’m gonna bake them a fucking cake! I can’t wait to tell Rene

[inbarfink]

Okay, so my brain works in Mysterious Ways sometimes. I was just rewatching ‘A Room witn a Moose’ and got to this Classic Exchange

And suddenly I started to wonder ‘… did Zim agree to that so quickly because he doesn’t need to use the restroom? Or did he just carelessly fuck himself over for the rest the of the year? Do Irkens.... defecate?'

So screw it, IZ Headcanon Survey Time!

[another-cliche-title]

my hot take is basically me just absorbing this post i saw on cohost:

like i dont think we have to go absolutist and make the only acceptable positions "OMGGG UR A DISNEY SHILL" or "If you use my art style or OC i'm Killing You"

(This Is Not My Position Don't Fuck With Me) you Could totally go hardcore with "no amount of alteration makes it acceptable to use someone else's art in the production of other art without permission and/or compensation" and not have it benefit disney/corporations by banning corporations from holding intellectual property altogether and make copyright law a million timers funnier and weirder by making every interaction between artists and corporations that hire them into a ken penders situation. copyright law was intended to only protect individual creators in the first place and this would be a lot better for artists in general

i mean, if u were a musician and some rando used ur song in a amv, you wouldn't care. if apple used ur song in a commercial without compensating you and make one billion off of phone sales, you would def care.

you don't have to chose between "Must I destroy Every Medium or Have Artists Compensated/Get Called 'Disney Shill' By Some Redditor/Please Walt's Corpse"

i think copyright law could be Good if it only benefited creators (and not corporations) and had expanded fair use laws (which limit the ability for scumbags to just Fuck People Over for making a my little pony youtube poop or whatever)

And moving over to AI... obvs we can make a distinction between zillions of artists being exploited to extract bajillions of cash from them and a 12 year old tracing fnaf artwork.

Realistically, IP law is like all law in that a lot of it is straight up just written to protect corporate interests. so a world where disney has to bow down to its own artists would be a pipe dream. anyone can smugly point that out.

And my other concern about AI is that it basically is just a part of the increasing normalization of mass data collection. half of ai defenses are not really that different from "oh boy i do love relevant ads !!". archiving someone's deviantart crap and mass data collection can be seen as the Same Thing Technically but no! it's not!

we can, in fact, have some wiggle room so that random kids can take stuff off of google images without having to ask for the author's permission while zillion dollar silicon valley megagiants can't. in other words, fair use yada yada ya.

a lack of protections/wiggleroom in some areas when it comes to "you MUST ask for permission!" protects you from people who just want to curb stomp other artists, increased protections in some areas protects your work from exploitation in the line of "labor is entitled to all it creates"

i think a reasonable, although imperfect, comparison can be made to goods. if i hold a monopoly on food and withhold it from everybody and you say that's fucked up, you'll be coming from "property is theft". but if you go to "labor is entitled to all it creates", you might say i can keep all the food. we can, of course, have a middle ground where i can get my bread and you can get yours too

the most frustrating thing about AI Art from a Discourse perspective is that the actual violation involved is pretty nebulous

like, the guys "laundering" specific artists' styles through AI models to mimic them for profit know exactly what they're doing, and it's extremely gross

but we cannot establish "my work was scraped from the public internet and used as part of a dataset for teaching a program what a painting of a tree looks like, without anyone asking or paying me" as, legally, Theft with a capital T. not only is this DMCA Logic which would be a nightmare for 99% of artists if enforced to its conclusion, it's not the right word for what's happening

the actual Violation here is that previously, "I can post my artwork to share with others for free, with minimal risk" was a safe assumption, which created a pretty generous culture of sharing artwork online. most (noteworthy) potential abuses of this digital commons were straightforwardly plagiarism in a way anyone could understand

but the way that generative AI uses its training data is significantly more complicated - there is a clear violation of trust involved, and often malicious intent, but most of the common arguments used to describe this fall short and end up in worse territory

by which I mean, it's hard to put forward an actual moral/legal solution unless you're willing to argue:

Potential sales "lost" count as Theft (so you should in fact stop sharing your Netflix password)

No amount of alteration makes it acceptable to use someone else's art in the production of other art without permission and/or compensation (this would kill entire artistic mediums and benefit nobody but Disney)

Art Styles should be considered Intellectual Property in an enforceable way (impossibly bad, are you kidding me)

it's extremely annoying to talk about, because you'll see people straight up gloating about their Intent To Plagiarize, but it's hard to stick them with any specific crime beyond Generally Scummy Behavior unless you want to create some truly horrible precedents and usher in The Thousand Year Reign of Intellectual Property Law

[pettame]

How to Punish Dogs for Pooping in House

Dealing with a dog pooping in the house can be frustrating, but punishment isn’t always the solution. It’s essential to approach the situation with patience and focus on teaching your dog appropriate behavior rather than using harsh methods. Here’s how to address this issue effectively.

Understand the Cause

Before addressing how to punish dogs for pooping in house, it’s crucial to understand why the behavior is happening. Common reasons include:

Incomplete Potty Training: Your dog may not fully understand where they’re supposed to go.

Medical Issues: Health problems such as diarrhea or urinary infections can lead to accidents.

Stress or Anxiety: Changes in the household or environment can stress your dog, leading to inappropriate elimination.

Schedule Changes: Irregular feeding or walking schedules might confuse your dog.

Identifying the root cause helps you address the problem more effectively.

Positive Reinforcement Over Punishment

While it’s tempting to discipline your dog immediately after an accident, punishment often creates fear rather than understanding. Instead, use these steps to correct the behavior:

Catch Them in the Act: If you see your dog about to poop indoors, interrupt them gently with a clap or a firm “No.” Then, immediately take them outside to their designated potty area.

Clean Accidents Thoroughly: Use an enzymatic cleaner to remove any odor. Dogs are drawn to the same spot by smell, so cleaning thoroughly helps prevent repeat incidents.

Reward Proper Behavior: When your dog poops in the correct spot, reward them with treats, praise, or playtime. Positive reinforcement strengthens desired behaviors.

When Punishment Is Necessary

If you’re wondering how to punish dogs for pooping in house, remember that punishment should not involve yelling, hitting, or rubbing their nose in the mess. These methods can harm your relationship and lead to fear-based behaviors. Instead, consider these constructive approaches:

Time-Outs: If your dog repeatedly poops indoors despite knowing better, calmly place them in a safe but less stimulating area, like a crate or quiet room, for a short time. This helps them associate inappropriate behavior with temporary loss of freedom.

Withholding Attention: Dogs crave attention. If they’ve had an accident, avoid giving them immediate affection. This teaches them that pooping indoors won’t result in positive interactions.

Reinforce Training: Revisit basic potty training principles, such as scheduled feeding, regular bathroom breaks, and supervision. Training consistency is key.

Preventing Future Accidents

The best way to address accidents is to prevent them. Here are some tips:

Establish a Routine: Feed your dog and take them out at the same times daily.

Supervise Indoors: Watch your dog closely, especially after meals or naps.

Use Crate Training: Dogs usually avoid soiling their sleeping area. A properly-sized crate can help reinforce potty habits.

Consult a Professional: If accidents persist, consult a veterinarian or a professional dog trainer to rule out medical issues or address deeper behavioral concerns.

Final Thoughts

Punishing dogs for pooping in the house should always be constructive and focused on teaching better habits. By understanding the reasons behind the behavior and using positive reinforcement, you’ll foster a trusting and respectful relationship with your dog while solving the problem effectively.

[mangocheesecakeicecream]

There's a source there's an aim there's an object and there's a thrust so the source is going to be an erogenous zone an opening with a rim-like structure in the case of the oral drive it's the lips anal drive it's the lower lips your anus notice these are all openings in the human body in the case of the scopic drive it's the eyelids in the case of the invocatory drive it's the outer ear these are all openings in the human form that is what the source is the source is going to be an erogenous zone it's a point from which the drive emerges and a point to which the drive returns the force behind that movement is referred to as thrust and this thrust is not biological why because it is constant lacan wants to point out that a biological urge is rhythmic it comes and it goes like the seasons but the thrust of a drive is constant it is always there it is ever present pushing forward so it comes out with a constant thrust behind it it circles around some sort of an object to which it is indifferent this is all straight from our readings by the way i'm on pages like 165 to like 180 or so just summarizing this for you the aim of the drive is not to actually get that object the aim is instead to exercise an erogenous zone it's not food that satisfies my drive it's ordering it from a menu with my mouth that's what gets me off is not the consumption of food it's the using of my mouth the aim of the drive is a satisfaction beyond the pleasure principle and the pleasure displeasure circuits that it puts us on that is achieved by way of the operation not the object of an erogenous zone if you have an anal drive you don't get off on shit you get off on using things like your ass you get off on withholding things or giving things you get off on performing at the level of everyday life what your anus does when you take a shit or decide not to all gifts are fundamentally shit for this reason the first gift was always the gift of shit not just because your parents clapped when you finally pooped in the toilet think how pleased they were when they received that gift of shit all gifts are shit because and shit is the first gift because it's the first thing that you could withhold you could have chosen not to shit the same way you can choose not to give somebody a gift expressions like it's the thought that counts capture this it's all shit that we give each other it's the thought that counts it's the fact that you were willing to give me something you see what gets me off is not the thing or the object that you gave me but the operative logics of giving that caused you to show up with something it's you being here giving me something it's the act of giving not the gift that is supplied that pleases me that satisfies me this is the point the aim of a drive is not to get hold of and annihilate some object it's to operationalize an erogenous zone it's the operation of the mouth not the object of food that i like when i have an oral drive

Samuel McCormick

[nightinghoul]

Talkin' About Poop

(CN: Hashimoto's disease, chronic dehydration, mental health, suicidal ideation and yes, poop. Mostly poop.)

Why have I decided to talk about poop today? I think it's something we need to destigmatize, so that people can ask for help, and spread knowledge for the benefit of others.

As a bit of an aside, I always find it funny when the young'ns make fun of Activia commercials. You don't think you'll be talking about your poop with your middle-aged friends/family some day? HAHAHA! Almost everyone in my life has some sort of borderline traumatizing poop issue.

Here's mine: People with Hashimotos are chronically dehydrated, which causes chronic constipation. (I feel I like I should address that really severe constipation can lead to a medical emergency, but I'm not talking about that today.) Constipation can be ridiculously uncomfortable and often pretty damn painful, but here's something else I learned recently: It can cause anxiety!

I found an article from Pubmed Central (through the US National Library of Medicine) stating, "...the prevalence of mood and anxiety disorders in constipated patients is much higher than general population..." I looked that up on a hunch. The hunch was that last night, after a week of taking mega doses of laxatives with no results, I started spiraling into anxiety and depression, thinking everyone hated me, and experiencing passive suicidal ideation. Then I pooped.

I didn't have any idea the two were related, but being physically comfortable without respite for a while can certainly have a negative impact on your mental health. And then there's this:

"...A person's stomach or intestinal distress can be the cause or the product of anxiety, stress, or depression." (Harvard Medical Publishing) So yeah, it's kind of a which-came-first situation. Anxiety certainly doesn't make it any better for me.

I was so unfamiliar with being healthy when I was younger, I didn't even talk to doctors about my gastric issues for years. I only talked to them about my most outwardly noticable symptoms, which at the time was that I was having migraine related seizures that I couldn't hide. It didn't even occur to me that ALL systems need to be working for the body to function properly. We have this basic understanding with vehicles, but we don't do this for ourselves. We wait until we're falling apart, when we know we've had a pain, something feeling off, or, ya know, weird poop for a month.

A lot of us in the US feel trapped because there's just not an emphasis on healthcare in our society. Sometimes, our only option is to crowdsource for health solutions. I think that sucks, but if that's what you're doing right now, here's *my advice for healthy poops:

1. Eat your ruffage (leafy greens, lettuce, cabbage, kale, brussel sprouts, etc.)

2. Look for fiber content in food or suppliments. Here's a guide to healthy amounts of fiber. (It's the first one that popped up when I googled it.)

3. For the love of God, drink lots of water. Myself, I drink a minimum of 64oz of water a day, in addition to any fluids I may get through foods. But really, I drink way more than that.

4. Consider the possibility that certain foods may be related to your discomfort. You might try eliminating certain foods for a couple of weeks to see how it makes you feel.

5. De-stress - whatever that means to you. Your mental state can absolutely affect your gut.

*I am not a medical professional! I just have gut issues. If you can talk to a doctor, I highly recommend that. Never withhold important health information from your doctor, even if it's a bit embarrassing!

Get your poops healthy!

[limjaheey]

Genuine question, what is the pathway back to a functioning government from here? Let's say blue team wins and the status quo remains, then what?

The only thing the dems want from me is my vote, and I feel like if they can get by with just being the constant underdogs and public corporate lapdogs (as opposed to the less public corporate lapdogs on the other side) and we keep going. If I withhold my vote, Dems won't do anything but throw up their hands and say 'oh I guess you don't mind Armageddon that's your choice' but they won't change their actions or platform to actually earn my vote.

GOP gets by stirring up fear of the Other that is invading and stealing and pooping on your lawn, but Dems try to do the same thing stirring up fear of the backwards maga redneck. It's just waaaaaaay less effective because it's waaaaaaaay more dumb.

I'll still go vote for that fucking ghoul in the Whitehouse, but all this vote-shaming and fear-mongering hasn't worked for Dems in 20 years and won't help this time either.

[dumexmamil]

When young children are having fun, it's hard to convince them to stop, even when they should take a toilet break. Replies like "Just five more minutes, please mommy?" and "Wait, I'm not finished yet!" are common, and sometimes parents just give in to a child's innocent persistence.

Unfortunately, a child's habit of withholding bowel movements can contribute to constipation, a common problem among children. Constipation happens when stools spend too much time in the colon – this causes the colon to absorb too much water, resulting in hard and dry stools that are difficult to push out from the body.

Over time, constipation can worsen, so it's important for parents to be on the lookout for warning signs. These include behaviours such as straining while passing stool or clenching buttock muscles which indicate efforts to withhold bowel movements. Other symptoms include stomach pain and cramping, urinary leakage which can be caused by build-up of stools pressing against the bladder, or stool in the underwear caused by stool building up and leaking.

What causes constipation?

A lack of fibre can cause constipation, as fibre helps to keep stools soft, easing bowel movements.

Some types of medicine can contribute towards constipation. Parents seeking a doctor's advice for their child's constipation should inform the doctor of any medication their child might be taking.

Withholding bowel movements causes stool to be pushed back into the rectum or anus, the lowermost part of the digestive tract. This causes muscles in the rectum and lower colon to stretch and become less effective. Meanwhile, the colon continues to absorb water from the stool, and it becomes hard, dry and difficult to pass. Children may withhold bowel movements for many reasons, from being stressed about toilet training to not wanting to interrupt their playtime, or because they are afraid of experiencing a painful bowel movement.

Medical conditions such as diabetes can disrupt the body's regular process.

Functional constipation occurs in children during three periods: during a significant dietary transition such as the introduction of solid foods; when they are being toilet trained and learning to control their bowel movements; when they start school and avoid using the bathroom at school for bowel movements.

Managing and preventing constipation

Parents can help to keep their child's tummy healthy and reduce the risk of constipation by making some changes in their child's diet and behaviour.

Introduce fibre into their daily diet. The Malaysian Dietary Guidelines for Children and Adolescents recommends two servings each of fruits and vegetables daily for children below the age of seven.5 Good high-fibre options include prunes, raisins, peas, beans, broccoli, leafy vegetables and whole grain cereals.

Give them plenty of water, especially when they are active or unwell. Children aged 2-3 years should drink up to two glasses per day while children four years and above require 6-8 glasses.

Encourage children to use the toilet regularly, such as after meals.

Try to include prebiotics and probiotics in their diet – prebiotics such as galactooligosaccharides (GOS) and fructooligosaccharides (FOS) help support the growth of healthy bacteria in the gut, known as probiotics, which in turn help support healthy gut functions.

If these measures don't help, or if the constipation gets worse, it's important to seek a doctor's advice. Overall, children need to be reminded to use the toilet regularly but remember that toilet training can be stressful for children and worsen constipation so it's important to make it part of a positive routine rather than a forced experience.

[dausy]

I don't know how I accidentally cropped half his tail when I uploaded to instagram and twitter but I did.

This is for the World Watercolor Month where kuretake zig sent me a watercolor set. I only used the 4 pinks in the set instead of all the colors and I had some help from another gansai tambi set..and a lot of colored pencils..and photoshop...but the kitty himself is watercolor. I'm saying that counts.

My paper was misbehaving while painting this. Paper fibers were being ripped up in actual chunks, which was really disconcerting and scary. Luckily the colored pencil went down ok cause I wouldn't have been able to complete my submission.

I did film most of this process which I need to edit together but I worked the past 2 days and I am barely keeping my eyes open. I am so pooped. So I dunno if I'll get that uploaded this afternoon or tomorrow to youtube.

otherwise Im ready to get started on the other things I meant to show off.

I managed to finish a book this past week too and started 2 more. I'm also chugging a long in Horizon Zero Dawn. I havent done much of the main storyline at all but I've totally cleared the map and I didn't realize the snowy area was a DLC. I 100% cleared that area too. So I'm max'd at lvl60 and the main storymission is level 14. I'm enjoying the gameplay but again since I havent gotten far within the main story Im withholding judgement on the story.

[heathersdesk]

The comments and reblogs on this are incredible. I must add all the most unhinged things I've encountered at church for our show:

Two different old women in two different testimony meetings, in two different countries, who bore nearly identical testimonies that one of her grandchildren were unable to pee, received a priesthood blessing, then were able to pee. Which I suppose isn't that weird, but what are the odds of me being there twice?

Also, the guy who bore testimony that he knew God answered prayers because he and his wife donated all their area rugs to DI in preparation for their move. But then they regretted it and went back to get the rugs back and they were still there.

The woman I met while serving as a temple worker, who previously served in the leadership in the Las Vegas Temple. She told me that couples having affairs would meet up at the temple to fornicate in the bathrooms. Also, having to replace all the toilets to remove the tank on the back because people were using them to sell drugs.

The testimony meeting on Easter Sunday that was totally derailed by the bishop rebuking the youth for not going to Seminary. Seemingly every adult in the room (with the exception of myself) then proceeded to bear their testimony ON EASTER SUNDAY about the importance of the youth attending Seminary.

The guy who was invited to speak during the Christmas program who insisted that the 3 wise men were actually the 3 Nephites. "You heard it here first," became the inside joke for years afterwards because of it.

The family who all lived on a multigenerational compound in the woods. They had an autistic son, and the mom openly shared "vaccines cause autism" articles on the ward Facebook group. The dad was out of control politically and would foment right wing talking points at every opportunity. He went off too aggressively in testimony meeting one time and his autistic son (a teenager) tried to bear his testimony on "families." It involved calling "all you gay goobers" to repent, and immediately being told by the bishop to go sit down, as he argued the whole time because he didn't understand what he was doing wrong. The lady who was confirmed a new member *that day* never came back.

The time that same unit tried to call me into Primary against my will. They wanted me to be the chorister and all I did, before we moved out of the ward, was to show up to observe for a single Sunday and accidentally dumped the entire gospel art kit on the floor.

The time the bishopric tried to say that no one but the deacons could touch the sacrament trays. It necessitated tiny little boys reaching down long rows of people trying to reach everyone. It lasted for two weeks before the stake president put a stop to it.

My husband informed me that he had a companion who treated pooping his pants as a rite of passage on the mission, that it was something totally normal and unavoidable... and then it happened to him. Like, that has to be something genetic in his family that he didn't discover wasn't happening to everyone else until his mission. Also, I've never asked where they were at the time. I'm happier not knowing.

The time my companion took two doses of laxative 18 hours apart (because the first dose "didn't work"—NEVER DO THAT) and proceeded to be incapable of leaving the toilet for an entire day. I played her favorite MoTab choir song on repeat to give her some privacy, and myself some relief, from hearing what was happening to her in there.

The time a bishop wanted to reschedule a baptism whose date had been set for a month because he wanted to go to somebody's birthday party.

The guys on my mission who started withholding and throwing away my mail because I told on them for going on dates to the race track with some of the inactive YW in my ward. They filmed themselves doing it on the mission phone, which I showed to the mission president within the first two minutes of him handing it to me—because at the time, if you wanted to know what your area was going to be like, the mission phone would tell you that. The more pizza place numbers and stupid videos on the phone, the longer nobody there had been working at all. I watched my mission President go through all five stages of grief right in front of me. He taught me a new word in Portuguese ("Burrisimo.") That was what he said when he saw that one of the Elders at the race track was a zone leader in another area. Another was on a mission in Venezuela. He was going to let that one go, but that Elder kept calling us in the middle of the night to talk to the elders he thought were still in the area. I could've just blocked his number, but he woke me up one too many times. Nobody wakes me up without experiencing my wrath. So I told my mission president and he blew up a small corner of Venezuela where that Elder stood. Somewhere out there, there are an untold number of Brazilian men still missing part of their rear ends because of me.

The ward I was in at BYU where I could never find a place to sit because of all the people who saved seats for their roommates and attended church with the people they were dating. I ended up sitting on the floor more than once and nobody thought that was a problem.

The time my ward, which had two sets of missionaries (Elders and Sisters) because of how large the area was, completely stopped feeding the Sisters at all. Upon investigating, it became apparent the Elders had all of the dinner appointments. No one wanted to feed the Sisters because one of them was Celiac and the Elders didn't see why that was a problem and just let it continue so they wouldn't have to cook for themselves. I told them they weren't eating at our house again until they fixed it and split the dinner appointments more equitably. Then we only fed the Sisters until we moved because I meant that shit.

The time when I was a Sunday School teacher and I was sitting behind a family with a new baby. She was so cute. I offered her my chalk holder to play with, and she baby shark chomped down on it and wouldn't give it back. It was very cute. I tried to take it from her to no avail, which was even funnier. The harder I pulled, the more she bit down. Everyone around us was laughing at my plight, unbeknownst to her parents. Eventually, I pulled it free WITH TWO HANDS. By that point, everyone around me was doubled over in laughter.

Her brother then had to be taken out of sacrament meeting for making noise. As he was being carried out, he yelled "WEEEE WOOO WEEEE WOOOOO, IT'S AN EMERGENCY" at the top of his lungs while the Sacrament was being passed.

The lady with schizophrenia, who attended church with her caretaker, was convinced she was related to one of the Elders from The Saratov Approach. She would go up to the stand to bear her testimony, usually about being related to the Elder from The Saratov Approach. And if person before her spoke too long, she would tell the bishopric "I'M GOING TO GO SIT DOWN BECAUSE THEY'RE TALKING TOO MUCH" at the top of her voice before leaving the stand to go sit down. I loved her so much.

My sister (not LDS) works at an outdoor outfitter and mentioned seeing some missionaries in the store on a day that wasn't P-day. I made a joke about them breaking the rules and she was delighted to have caught them doing something wrong. When she mentioned the only thing they bought was a fishing lure, I said it could've been an object lesson. She was like "How do you teach about Jesus with a fishing lure?" My husband grabbed hold of that and said "We can invite our missionaries over and they can show you." She thought that was awesome and came down to eat with us when they showed up, waiting for her lesson, AND THEN THEY DIDN'T DO IT.

Now when she sees them where she works, she asks in a loud voice "Does the president know you're here?" Which scares them half to death and looks incredibly bizarre to anyone who witnesses it.

Nothing will ever be funnier to me than a random LDS guy from Arizona dressing up in a gladiator costume so Captain Moroni would be at the January 6th riots.

We are funny and ridiculous enough on our own without our having to script anything stranger. I need the LDS version of Parks and Rec. It's what we all deserve.

the secret lives of mormon wives is so silly to me because you could genuinely make a good sitcom/reality show about a regular Utah LDS ward. you wouldn't have to find the most extreme examples of crazy people that misrepresent the group as a whole. you wouldn't have to portray the church as good or bad or anything other than a setting in which people live their lives.

some episode premise ideas:

the young women have to babysit 30 kids at once so that their parents can go to ward temple night

the ward Halloween party planning committee

the primary program

a land dispute between ward members that should absolutely be resolved in civil court and not by the bishop (based on personal experience)

girls camp/scout camp

ward choir

fast Sunday and testimony meeting

zucchini season

and you could have so many fun characters like the mother of 8 children (who, of course, have increasingly ridiculous names), the overly enthusiastic ward chorister, the beleaguered primary president, the extremely controversial bishop, the political old man, the closeted righteous teen and their budding relationship with the teen who's completely over it??? come ON it would be so good

[multifandhoem]

water.

Ok so remember when I said to celebrate 200 followers I would make small drabbles or imagines based on fluids that continue the story fluids? Wellllll I did that (i did one) but now I already have 300 followers!!! Thank you so much for your support (and you can request if you want :)) But anyways, here is water, i have thoughts about syrup but it will probably take a bit :)

A/N: this is the second part to fluids.  

Genre: smut (?) maybe fluff 

Warnings: usage of water enema, humiliation, reader cries, anal stuff, spanking, hints of anal sex but no real anal sex, swearing, dom!Makki, dom!Mattsun, sub!reader, some MxM

Word count: 1759 

When you felt yourself slowly drifting away you tried squinting your eyes harder, a desperate attempt to stay in the peaceful slumber. Unfortunately, your bladder decided now would be a good time to act up, so you knew there was no going back from here. Your best hope would be going to the bathroom now and trying to continue sleeping right afterwards. Very begrudgingly you shimmied yourself out of the blankets and the arms of the boys around you, to sleepily tap into the bathroom, the slight burn between your legs constantly reminding you of the events that had occurred the evening before.

“Morning, princess.” Issei’s voice was even deeper in the morning. “No. Wanna sleep.” You were already nestled back in his arms, ready to close your eyes again, stomach warming up at his chuckle. “Sure thing, baby. Hiro’s going to be out for a while more, anyways.”

You hummed in content at the feeling of him slightly scratching your head, encouraging him to continue.

“You sore?” You let out a huff that could be understood as an affirmation and luckily, he got it, chuckling smugly.

“Issei- no. I’m sore!” Apparently, he didn’t get it, as his hand moved down, to cup your core through the boxers they had to lend you in his big hand.

“I’m not doing anything, princess, don’t worry. Just holding. It’ll be better I promise.” Maybe it was your imagination, but the sting really seemed to lessen a bit under the heat of his fingers, and contently you drifted off in a light snooze.

When you woke up again, much more willingly this time, Issei had disappeared from your side, leaving you and Hiro in bed. The strawberry blonde was still passed out cold and not against a bit more time in bed, you snuggled up closer to him and shut your eyes again, once you felt the warmth of his body.

You were absently tracing soft patterns on Hiro’s chest, when you heard someone, presumably Issei, reentering the room and sighing at the picture presented to him.

“Hey, I made breakfast for you.”

The bed dipped and you slowly blinked up at him. “What time is it?”

“Nearly noon.” Issei chuckled a bit, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your forehead before leaning over you to Hiro, shaking him slightly. Said man grumbled and tried turning around, away from the disturbance but was hindered by you clinging onto his arm.

“What time is it?” He still sounded incredibly tired, his voice deeper than usual and very raspy. “Nearly noon,” Issei repeated and also pressed a kiss on Hiro’s shoulder.

“Morning, Hiro.” You giggled at his sleepy expression, heaving yourself on top of him to press small kisses to his chest. “Morning, princess. You alright?” He stretched a bit, grabbing Issei’s hand while doing so to pull him towards you two.

“Yeah. Issei made breakfast.” He hummed at your answer, eyes closed again, with Issei tucked under one arm. “Well, we should stand up then.”

Nobody moved, making you all chuckle. It really was something you could get used to. Something about laying in their arms made you feel so soft and safe and secure.

“I love laying here, but I really need to pee. Princess…” You got the hint and rolled down, so Hiro could stretch one last time, press a kiss to both yours and Issei’s lips, and then scurry off to the bathroom.

“Let’s go eat.” Issei nudged you with his nose, snaking his arms around you to pull you up with him. He really went all out with breakfast, different kinds of bread, cereal, and fruits adorning the table. “Do you want some coffee?” He was already standing at the machine, but you were quick to push him to the side. “I’ll make one myself. You already did so much! Just sit down.” He smiled at you and followed your command, soon being accompanied by Hiro.

“You never made breakfast like this for me,” the latter complained jokingly, throwing you a thankful smile when you placed a cup of coffee in front of him and Issei.

“You never took two dicks at the same time.” Issei threw him a cheeky grin, before starting breakfast by taking two pancakes of the stack in the middle of the table.

It was later when you were lounging in Hiro’s bed and his hand softly caressed your upper thigh, that you realized what you had done. The pizza last evening and the extensive breakfast today, paired with a cup of coffee. It was bad. It wasn’t like you never took a dump at their place before, but it felt weird, knowing that presumably later they would put something up your ass again.

“What do you wanna do today, hm?” Issei had tucked himself under your arm and now pressed a small kiss to your collarbone with his words. You stiffened up a bit at that, emitting a chuckle from them.

“Still sore?” Hiro’s hand moved a bit up on your thigh.

“No- I- It’s not that. Just... like, I had to poop like an hour after breakfast, I don’t want it to be dirty!” You were speaking faster towards the end, but according to the grins they sported, they still understood you.

“We gotta clean you then, don’t we?” Mattsun sat up, letting your arm fall down onto your stomach, while he went rummaging in Hiro’s closet. “Come on, princess, up to the bathroom.” Hiro pushed you slightly, animating you to move.

What were they planning? They weren’t going to clean you with their fingers, right? That would be weird, wouldn’t it?

“Well, princess, this is a water enema. You fill it with water, and you can press here, and then the water will come out and flow into your butt. It’s a bit of a strange feeling, but it’s not hurtful in any way.” Issei threw you a reassuring smile during his explanation when he entered the bathroom with the small toy.

“In the best case you move around a bit with the water inside you, so it coats everything, but then you can go sit on the toilet or like kneel in the bathtub or whatever you’re comfortable with and then, well, I guess you know what happens then.” He grinned at you at the last part. You couldn’t stop the heat that slowly coated your cheeks at the thought of being in such a humiliating position in front of them. And when Hiro took a seat on the edge of the bathtub, patting his lap, you could not withhold your whimper.

“Go on princess.” Issei pushed you in his direction but you had felt the air shifting. They weren’t just helping you anymore. You were sure that this whole process would bring in more than just cleanliness.

“Dirty girl. You need to be cleaned by us, don’t you?” Another slap echoed through the bathroom. You whimpered again.

“Shh, princess, you’re gonna be good for us, aren’t you?” You nodded helplessly, looking up at Issei, who held your cheeks squished in one hand. After the next slap Hiro’s hand-dipped between your cheeks, carefully prodding at your puckered hole.

You hated yourself and your kinks at that moment. Who were you, getting turned on in that moment, bent over Hiro’s lap, waiting for him to pump water into your ass.

Hiro slightly lubed up your hole, before slowly pushing the water enema in. You moaned at the new feeling of fullness. It wasn’t comparable with the fullness yesterday, with fingers or toys, but a different kind. You felt the slight push at your stomach, felt that there was something moving in your ass.

“Good girl.” The praises went straight to your core.

“Think she can take more?” With wide eyes, you stared at Issei, who only threw you a wicked grin in response.

“Hmm, a bit, sure.” Hiro hummed thoughtfully, filling the enema up again, to push it inside your asshole the second time.

After the second enema, you really felt full. Nearly bursting. The push of Hiro’s legs against your stomach did nothing to help the situation and with small whimpers you tried to get away, to ease the pressure.

He let you stand up on wobbly feet, and you tried to hurry towards the toilet, but a hand stopped you. “Nuh uh, princess. Remember when you said you liked humiliation?” They grinned at the way your eyes went even wider.

Issei pushed you back towards the bathtub, pressing against your stomach slightly. It was nearly painful holding everything in, especially when you moved to climb over the edge of the tub.

“Can you leave the room, please?” You knew the possibilities were small, but this was already embarrassing enough. You were kneeling in their bathtub, ass filled with water, while they were towering over you, smirking at your misery.

“I think I can see your stomach bulging out.” They ignored your request completely.

“Come on, princess. Aren’t you excited about the fun we will have afterwards? You will be so clean. You just have to let go.” Tears were prickling in your eyes.

You wanted to let go as Issei said, you really did. But something, one last ounce of pride was holding you back, was refusing to let you squirt out water from your ass in front of the two attractive males.

It was when Issei leaned down, to press against your stomach when you had to let loose with a cry. You felt the water flowing out of your ass, not daring to look. You didn’t want to know what it looked like, it would make everything even more humiliating.

The tears were by now falling freely down your face, while water kept spraying out of you, slightly coating your knees before disappearing into the drain.

“Such a good girl for us. Getting so clean. You did great, princess.” After the flow had stopped, they took the showerhead, spraying the remaining water around until everything was gone, cleaning your legs and ass as well.

“It’s time for a reward, don’t you think?” You were wrapped in a fluffy towel, pressed against Issei, who softly wiped your tears.

“What do you think about a dick in your ass?” Hiro caressed your sides, planting a small kiss on your head. You nodded, not trusting yourself to answer. You never had one of them in your ass. Wasn’t that the goal you wanted to achieve when you asked them for help?

“Yeah? You like that? Then let’s go, princess.”