#Wit McKay

[funstealer]

Untitled #1093 (Buddha Boy), 2001 - 03 by Petah Coyne

Specially-formulated wax, cast-wax statuary figure, pigment, silk flowers, synthetic feathers, acetate ribbon, tassels, white pearl-headed hat pins, artificial pearl strands, horse hair, chicken-wire fencing, wire, acrylic primer, plywood, metal hardware, aluminum 52 x 51 1/8 x 52 inches. Photograph: Wit McKay

[hailturinturambar]

Thoughts on J.D and Patrick's interview

Loving the new interviews and I hope we get more content. It will be a while before season 3 is released, so anything we get is very important. And since an interview with J.D. Payne and Patrick McKay came out, I decided to share my opinions again.

I'm biased, because I have a visceral obsession with Jack Lowden, but I agree with Patrick and J.D. Jack as Sauron/Mairon rescued the beauty of the Elder Days and the delicacy of the Maiar and Elves of the First Age.

When we look at Jack Lowden's Sauron, we glimpse what Tolkien described in his books. As Patrick and J.D. say, aneglical, cherub. And this is how I imagine Sauron when he was in the service of Morgoth.

It is interesting the changes that Sauron undergoes physically when his new form is destroyed. And not only in appearance, but we have a change in his characteristics. Jack and Charlie are Sauron and the similarities are obvious, but we still notice that each one represents a phase of Sauron.

As for the time in Númenor, I admit I'm worried they'll change the actor, but considering Charlie remained as Annatar, I don't see why it would be any different. After all, he's now known in Númenor as Sauron in his Halbrand form. Charlie mentioned in an interview (I don't remember which one) that he's looking forward to the Sauron armor. So I assume he'll remain as the main form.

In my opinion, one of the biggest hits of the second season was Sauron's prologue. In the first season, we have Galadriel's prologue and she is narrating her story and the Elder Days.

This point of view, let's say, is the point of view of the heroes. Of the Elves who knew the beauty of Valinor and witnessed the evils caused by Morgoth and Sauron in Arda. This changes abruptly in the second season.

It's like one book told by the hero and the other by the villain. It's Sauron who is now telling his story. We get a more detailed introduction to Adar and his sons, how they were in Sauron's service and why they betrayed him.

What interests me most about the prologue is that we get an explanation for how Sauron came to be the mortal man Halbrand. We have a Sauron who is without a master and has to make his own way in Middle-earth, and then we see a broken Sauron struggling to survive. Until we finally meet Halbrand.

And indeed, Sauron's past explains much about his hatred of Elves and Orcs, and how he sees himself and the goals that will guide Sauron to Celebrimbor's path in Eregion.

When Tom's first episode came out, I saw a lot of negative comments about the character's portrayal. I like almost all of Trop's decisions in how the characters are presented, so I can't be impartial at times, but I still don't understand the criticism.

When we think about Tom Bombadil, we can't base ourselves on all previous sources. PJ fans often criticize the choices made by TROP, but Tom was an interesting addition. Is he different from the LOTR period? Of course he is! We are too far removed from Frodo to use such a comparison. LOTR Tom is not TROP Tom. He still has a long way to go.

Saruman was a general assumption, I would say. But I wouldn't want it to be Saruman. That character, in my opinion, can wait. I don't see a need for him in the plot right now. And I would like to know who this new character is in TROP. I like the characters created in the show, so I'm curious.

My opinion on this point may be a bit controversial. The mystery of who Sauron is in the first season was intriguing, I think for all of us. Even though we suspected Halbrand, we thought that many characters could be Sauron or that perhaps Sauron would not be introduced at all.

And I particularly enjoyed the reveal of Sauron at the end of season 1. This new form with new traits and deceptions was different from the Sauron in the books and I enjoyed how they set up the Halbrand/Sauron storyline.

As for Gandalf/The Stranger, well, I found it a bit tiresome in the second season. It was generally obvious in the first season and I was following the revelation closely. But I don't think it needed to be dragged out until the second season. Anyway, it wasn't that bad and maybe I'm being harsh.

I don't see how this could have worked and I don't like it one bit. I'm glad they changed it.

Sauron in Adar's camp doesn't make sense to me. Sauron was in Eregion forging the rings, why go to Adar's camp? We already had Halbrand meeting Adar at the beginning of the season. Galadriel and Adar meeting again didn't need Sauron's intervention or influence. It was time for us to glimpse the reunion of these two.

I can't think of Sauron in Adar's camp as anything other than an attempt to maintain the idea of ​​Sauron and Galadriel's romance. Other than that, it wouldn't add anything to the story. And I liked how they did it better.

I love SW, so I think this was the ideal reunion. Two opposing forces of Light and Darkness dueling, each trying to resist the temptation of the other, while being influenced by them.

I never thought of Elendil and Míriel as a couple when I read the books that featured the tales of Númenor. But as soon as I laid eyes on them in the series, oh my!

The chemistry was right there, being rubbed in my face. And if we think about Míriel and Elendil's future after the arrival of Sauron and the Fall of Númenor, that's what attracts everyone the most, isn't it? All the anguish and the impossibility of being together. I'll pick up my crumbs!

I was so infuriated by the comments on the internet when the Orc family was introduced. In short, I think it proves how ignorant people are of Tolkien's work if they didn't understand what was being represented there.

Everything in TROP talks about the tragedy that befalls all beings in Middle-earth. Why would it be any different with the Orcs? We know about all the evils caused by the Orcs, but in a war, evil comes from all sides, right? Comments about "TROP humanizing the Orcs" make no sense and are only said to harm the audience's view of the series.

TROP simply presents the point of view of all the characters and how they see themselves. Feeling sympathy or not for each one is not forced, it is just presented. And I like this dynamic.

The most important thing in Tolkien is the duality of the characters. Even though in the Third Age the line between black and white is more defined, in the first stories it is not. And TROP explores this well.

Because for Adar, they are not Orcs, they are children, and that is how they also see themselves. Because they are like the Elves, they have lives and families and live like all beings. But it is their choices that separate them from Men and Elves and that is where we enter the tragedy.

They are seen as monsters, so they do not fight for a different vision, because they would never be able to be seen any other way. Even though Adar's actions are wrong, like Sauron's, with both Adar and Sauron, we end up becoming attached to these damaged characters and we feel sorry for them.

No, don't be mean and tell me about season 3!

J.D. and Patrick's love for the history of Middle-earth is truly infectious. It's remarkable that they put their souls into the show and are committed to telling a beautiful story that honors Tolkien.

Don't judge me if you like the movies (I like LOTR, but not more than the series) but I feel that in TROP we really travel to Middle-earth, in a way that connects different people from different places and different ages.

I first watched the LOTR Trilogy (I hated The Hobbit movies, don't judge me) when I was a child or almost a teenager, I don't remember well. And although I liked it, I didn't feel completely connected.

But that's how I feel about TROP. When I watch an episode, I feel the same way I do when I'm reading one of Tolkien's countless books. And that feeling is so good.

TROP makes me feel at home, living the story. TROP means comfort to me and I hope the series lasts a long time.

[nerdygaymormon]

President Spencer W. Kimball received a revelation to approve the sealing of an MTF trans woman to her husband in the Washington DC Temple in 1980. The sealing was performed by a Elder Hugh W. Pinnock of the Seventy.

Dr. Gregory Prince wrote about it on the blog By Common Consent (BCC) in Nov 2015.

In January 2016, a blogger wrote about the BCC post. In the comments section, a person identifying as Ann wrote to say that she is the person who was sealed. She provides some detail, including the date of the sealing and the name of the Seventy who performed the marriage.

Unfortunately, I don't know an official Church source for this, so I don't know how much it will matter to your family.

It’s important to understand that Dr. Prince is credible because it’s his eye-witness account that we have about a trans woman being sealed to a man in the temple.

Dr. Gregory Prince has a PhD and his career was in the prevention and treatment of pediatric infectious diseases. 

He took the research skills in the medical field, combined it with his interest in history, and wrote several books on religious history and theology:

Having Authority: The Origins and Development of Priesthood During the Ministry of Joseph Smith (1993) 

Power from On High: The Development of Mormon Priesthood (1995)

David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism��(2005) 

Leonard Arrington and the Writing of Mormon History (2016)

Gay Rights and the Mormon Church: Intended Actions, Unintended Consequences (2019) 

He was also interviewed as part of the 2007 PBS documentary The Mormons

————————————————

This woman was sealed to her husband. So either she's gonna be a woman in the eternities, or if not then this is a same-sex sealing. It's an interesting example of how we could expand our use of the sealing power if we chose to

[vampirecorleone]

"There are some experiences worse than death, Renfield. Such as spending the remaining years of your miserable life knowing all the depravity you've witnessed in the last century will be nothing compared to the the suffering I'm going to unleash on this world. The world you chose over mine. When I'm finished, the entire human race, everyone you cared about, will suffer. Because you betrayed me."

Renfield (2023) dir. Chris McKay

[hikarielizabethbloom]

Thoughts on TROP and Galadriel and Sauron

Since things have finally returned to normal (or perhaps I simply blocked the people who were annoying me; I’m not sure), I want to address a few issues I commented on last week. This time, I want to do it properly—no more replies while multitasking. I will be brief (I admire brevity) and hopefully pain-free. 

Let’s get started.

Galadriel and Halbrand's relationship in canon

Season 1

The showrunners have expressed that their vision for Galadriel and Halbrand's storyline was not meant to emphasize a romantic angle, reflecting their creative intentions.

"Gennifer Hutchison, an executive producer in the first two seasons, [and] writer on the show, she said 'everyone's gonna ship these two!'" McKay reveals. "We're like, 'that's crazy. They're enemies. What? What are you talking about?' So, Genny, you were right."

I believe in the concept of the "death of the author," so to me, it doesn't matter what the author's intentions were; I perceived the relationship between Galadriel and Halbrand/Sauron as entirely romantic—complicated, but romantic nonetheless. 

Payne adds: "I think whenever you have two talented, thematic people like this in scenes together it's very natural [that] people [are] gonna pick up on the chemistry that they have between them. It's just part of the nature of their drama, and so it's not so surprising."

However, I also recognize that interpreting Galadriel and Halbrand/Sauron as mere enemies is just as valid as my interpretation (maybe more). I simply choose not to let others dictate how I should enjoy fiction. We should learn to distinguish between antis and people who have different opinions. Everyone deserves the right to share their views in the ship tag. Respect is the key.

Season 2

In season 2, the relationship between Galadriel and Sauron is presented with more subtlety than in the previous season. Some (myself included) see this as a positive development. Throughout the season, Galadriel and Sauron seem to carry the weight of each other’s absence, adding a poignant layer to their connection. The themes of longing and absence resonate deeply, reflecting the complexity of their experiences. As we reach the final confrontation, we see Galadriel in a state of vulnerability that we’ve rarely witnessed before, especially when she comes face to face with Halbrand once more. Yet, this Halbrand feels off, as Sauron has transformed in ways she/we (the audience) can't fully grasp. In that moment, Galadriel steps up to fight for herself, and it’s beautiful.

But the question remains: was it definitive?

What to expect?

While I don’t believe the creator’s intentions should dictate how we interpret canon, it is impossible to forget their intentions when it comes to what to expect from the show. 

"And I think that will endure as long as the show endures, because they represent good and evil, right? They haven't fought their last battle yet.”

I believe that the story of Galadriel and Sauron is still unfolding and will likely be a recurring theme throughout the series. However, I am curious about how this will be portrayed in future seasons. Based on what we’ve seen so far in Season 2, it appears their relationship may continue to develop, though I don't foresee numerous romantic scenes, love declarations, or physical expressions of affection such as kisses or intimacy. A tender moment like a forehead touch might be the extent of it, but even that could just be hopeful speculation. I like this approach, though I can understand that it may not resonate with everyone, particularly those who are invested in the romantic aspect of the story. 

I want to add that it’s great that Charlotte confirmed Galadriel's feelings for Halbrand! However, if the show had plans for a significant love confession later on, they probably wouldn't have talked about it in interviews, right? Nonetheless, I truly appreciate her for recognizing this interpretation and sharing it.

This brings me to another important point.

Is Galadriel and Hilbrand’s relationship the most important one on the show?

Thematically I’d say yes. They represent the two major forces in this conflict. Light vs Darkness. Good vs evil. That will never change. 

However, narratively, I don’t think that perspective is accurate. Other relationships are just as important, if not more so. Not to be controversial, but especially in Season 2, the relationship that the writers seem to find more interesting is between Galadriel and Elrond. This makes sense, considering they are the ones who survive in the end. Although I often joke about Elrond being exasperated by Galadriel's feelings toward Sauron, that dynamic never actually occurs in the show. Their conflict is not about Sauron; it revolves around the broken trust between Galadriel and Elrond.

It is essential to recognize that while some may consider G/S to be the focal point of the show, that perspective doesn’t justify feelings of anger toward those who appreciate different aspects or have contrasting views on the canon. Everyone has their interpretations and preferences, and it's perfectly valid for fans to connect with various elements of the story.

The demand for more scenes in the show because "that's what the fans want" is really absurd. Just because one person's experience differs from another's doesn't mean everyone feels the same way. I watch the show because I love Tolkien and the world he created, and I want to see more of it. Reducing the show to just "The Ballad of Galadriel and Sauron" is simply not accurate.

And reducing Galadriel’s story to just her relationship with Sauron doesn’t fully capture her character's depth. She is much more than a romantic figure, and her narrative goes far beyond just grappling with her feelings for Sauron. That relationship is just a small part of her overall journey, and there’s so much more to appreciate about her story!

There are so many wonderful stories to tell! While I absolutely adore these two characters, I think it would be a bit of a missed opportunity to limit the show to just their love story. Exploring a variety of storylines will make the whole experience more enjoyable for everyone, rather than just focusing on what a few fans might wish for.

There is probably more but right now I’m fused so… 

I won’t post this in the ship tags because I don’t want to upset others or cause emotional reactions to fictional characters. Perhaps I should share this in the silvergifting tag, as I was advised to do. According to the lore, good H*ladriels belong in the h/s tag, while the "bad" H*ladriels go to silvergifting heaven! (Just a joke—hope that's okay!)

[dr-futbol-blog]

Epiphany, Pt. 9

Some time has passed, Sheppard appears to have healed and is at the very least fully dressed (very likely in Avrid's clothes, or the clothes of who ever Hedda's father had been), and we see him step outside into the village for what might be the first time. Avrid is there to receive him, literally with open arms, and sounds happy to see him. He smiles, and we can also hear the smile in his voice. There are people toiling all around them, most of them seeming to be young and attractive and dressed in flowing, airy clothes in earthy colours (the red-white colour scheme may not be an accident given the many references in the episode to Through the Looking Glass). While it is not clear whose house and bed Sheppard had found himself in or whose house he lives in for the remainder of his stay here, it is obvious that he thinks of himself as Avrid's guest here. Avrid is his context. It is to Avrid that he turns for answers now.

Avrid: I'm glad you're feeling better. Welcome to your new home. Sheppard: Avrid... I'm happy to visit and I'm grateful for the food and the whole healing thing, but... do you know the way out of here? Avrid: There is no way to leave, John, other than to ascend. Sheppard: What exactly do you mean by "there's no way"?

So, we may note that while Sheppard and Avrid stand further apart from each other than Sheppard and McKay often do when engaged in conversation, Sheppard does have his whole body turned toward Avrid which indicates that at least on some level he is attracted to the man. We may also note that Sheppard uses his name here, telling us both that he had filed the name off as something to remember and that he wishes to establish rapport between them by using it. And while Sheppard feels like he has places to be, he does express his gratitude for Avrid having saved him even as he was trying to save Avrid, which we may recall is something that also happened between Sheppard and McKay.

Avrid also uses Sheppard's name, and this is something that we did not get to witness, Sheppard saying his name to them. We do not know how he introduced himself, whether it was just as John or as Colonel John Sheppard. What ever it was, Avrid uses his given name which makes their interaction instantly seem more intimate. They both seem to use the other man's name wishing to establish a connection. And while we do not get to hear McKay call Sheppard John for a long time, it is likely that at this time McKay had been calling him John in private for a while now. Avrid does not physically resemble McKay, being taller than Sheppard, lean and with a full head of hair, and even looking at his disposition he seems almost to be like the opposite of McKay. He actually more resembles Sheppard himself, which may explain this instant rapport between them. But there is still something similar to McKay in how they interact, the ease and familiarity of it.

Sheppard starts walking toward the central square of the village probably having no idea where he is actually heading, not having a destination but only a need to move about, and Avrid takes on after him because by asking him questions Sheppard indicated that he wished to continue the conversation. But Sheppard grinds to a halt as soon as he processes Avrid's words. He does not like the sound of this.

Avrid: That is the sole purpose of this place, to meditate upon ascension and one day join those who created the Sanctuary. Sheppard: The thing is, I've got other plans. Avrid: Then why did you enter the portal?

A few things to note here. First, there is a steaming cauldron here between the two of them that is symbolic of heat, and we may note that Sheppard is definitely not looking at any of the beautiful women around them, his attention focused entirely on Avrid and looking for the exit, which is why he seems to be moving around restlessly. But his body language here is actually reminiscent of McKay: his hand freezes in place as he tries to process what Avrid is telling him, something we have seen McKay do as he dissociates (or is otherwise interrupted in the middle of a thought). But as soon as Sheppard snaps out of it, he curls his hand into a fist and rubs his thumb against it, which is something that McKay frequently does when he is either anxious or turned on.

While Sheppard had already indicated that he dislikes the ascended, it is also made abundantly clear during this episode that he does not enjoy meditation. While in Avrid, Teer and Hedda, the whole trio of them, Sheppard is presented with something that he really wants, which is a family that will never leave him and that would be with him always, his experiences here show him how fuzzy the line between dreams and nightmares can be, how easily a dream can tip into a nightmare. Ascension may be something that most people should want to achieve and that Sheppard's own ancestors had sought to do, but what Sheppard wants is something altogether different.

And it is interesting he makes reference to having plans here. Sheppard has plans, he has things that he wants to do on the outside (and given the mention of Beckett and Cadman's date "tomorrow night" later, it could even be that Sheppard had actual plans). In saying this, he is not offering to share any of his plans with Avrid, merely making a wisecracking remark here, but at the same time, the notion had to come from somewhere. There are things he desires to have in life, and every one of those things involves McKay.

Sheppard: Well, call it a mistake. I tried to stop it but the damned thing sucked me in. Avrid: Those that came before us made certain that there could be no indecision. Once you set foot within the Sanctuary, your path was chosen. Sheppard: Not by me!

First thing to note is that Sheppard does not seem to blame McKay for what had happened, but he also does not want to speak his name because speaking his name would force him to think about McKay, and that would just open a world of hurt for him that he would rather avoid for the time being. Usually Sheppard would be using the "we" form in recounting something like this but here he only talks about what happened to him, as though he had been alone by the portal. His people having been there with him is intel he is not ready to give these people yet. While Sheppard is the one to walk up front and Avrid follows after him, we may note that Sheppard turns back to look at him as they converse, wanting to be able to see the man's face. Because these people are close to ascension and seem to have the Ancient gene, it could be that there is communication happening between them beyond simple words.

Sheppard comes to a halt by the watering hole that is likely the heart of the village, and given that the camera focuses on Sheppard's reflection and shows him upside down, it seems to hark back both to the idea of this being the looking glass world where things appear upside down and inside out, and to water as a medium. While Sheppard keeps glancing back at Avrid, before he comes to a stop he also looks at one of the others, and the camera work here is excellent because it is left entirely ambiguous whether he was glancing at the woman in pink working in the background or the strapping young lad in red that was walking past them. There is more precedence for Sheppard looking at dudes (and even here he almost turns to look at him again as he passes but stops his head from turning the whole way), but it is left up to the viewer what they see here. And while he likely thought nothing of it, it just tells us that the people in the village are all exceptionally beautiful. Sheppard himself is the most haggard-looking person in the sanctuary.

What Sheppard says here may also have a metaphorical quality. We later learn that he had been married, and he could just as well be describing that here: it was a mistake, and he had tried to avoid it but the thing had sucked him in because it was what his father had wanted. Later in Outcast (S04E16), the story also penned by Joe Flanigan, we are told more about how Sheppard felt like his father had his whole life planned out for him; what school he should go to, what profession he should take up, which woman to marry, and he had tried to walk the path that had been chosen for him but was ultimately unable to do that because his heart was drawing him elsewhere. And the same plays out in this episode in miniature: Teer seems to have plans for Sheppard and keeps manipulating the environment to get him to do what she feels like he should do without consulting him and disregarding what he actually wants. They symbolically play out Sheppard's marriage and divorce in this episode, we are able to see hints of what very likely had inevitably led to his divorce by looking at what happens in this episode. It is clear that there was a backstory for Sheppard the actor was basing his portrayal of the character on, and that backstory involved Sheppard having been in love with a man before he got married--and based on this, it could very well have been Nancy's brother.

Avrid: Once you cross the threshold, you are committed to be here for the remainder of your days.

Avrid sounds both happy and positive as he tries to sell Sheppard on the idea that he is actually better off now that he is here, that it is not all bad once he accepts his new reality. On the symbolic level, this might resemble his father telling him that once he has committed himself to marriage, commitment means that he has to uphold his vows for the rest of his life, until death do them part. But what happens here, between Sheppard and Avrid, is pretty damn interesting. Avrid seems happy at first but as Sheppard processes all of this, as he mulls it over in his mind, he does not respond to Avrid, at least not verbally. Sheppard seems to be rather literally dumbstruck here. But we see Avrid look at him, he actually squints his eyes as he looks, he seems to search Sheppard's face and his countenance changes. Avrid sees something in Sheppard that displeases him and the searching look indicates it was something inside, in Sheppard's mind that he did not like to see.

Clearly Sheppard needed time to think about this, he probably wanted to be by himself, but he does not say or do anything that actually communicates this. But without a word being spoken, Avrid seems to read all of this off of Sheppard and he then just walks away without saying anything further. And we have to wonder whether Avrid's gift is not reading minds, reading people's thoughts in a much more tangible manner than that vague kind of-sort of telepathy we have seen hints of between people with the Ancient gene. And Sheppard is carrying such deep hurt within him, such longing, that it tracks that Avrid would want to get further away from him (that kind of negativity might compromise his own ascension). Sheppard does not want to be here for the remainder of his days.

McKay: Alright. Launch the probe on my mark. Three, two, one, mark. The probe's about to pass through the field. Stand by. Damn it! Beckett: What happened? McKay: Exactly what I was afraid would happen. The probe was ripped apart by tidal forces at the event horizon almost instantly. Beckett: So we can't fly through it and rescue Colonel Sheppard?

We get an interesting transition from Sheppard looking down at his own reflection in the water (through which he is also looking up at the sky above) to McKay's voice talking about launching the probe that, frankly, looks a lot like a sex toy, as the jumper flies above the sanctuary. These things are connected symbolically although they do not take place at the same time, as Sheppard's scene with Avrid probably happened when McKay was still flying the jumper back to Atlantis the first time. This also means that if there is some kind of a tether connecting Sheppard and McKay, Sheppard would likely have been unable to sense any connection to him back then even if he had been reaching out for him, feeling very much alone, which would have contributed to his despondent attitude.

McKay: Not unless we wanna be ripped apart too! Weir: Did you receive any telemetry before the probe failed? McKay: Hmm. Actually quite a lot. Looks like mostly gibberish, though. This is gonna take me the better part of an hour to go through.

While McKay would love nothing more than to fly the jumper right into the crater, what cannot be done cannot be done. Disappointed by the failure of the experiment, it takes Weir nudging him for him to even notice that they were able to receive a lot of information from beyond the veil in the short time there was a connection between the two parts of the probe on the opposite sides. And realizing it is going to take a while to make sense of it, McKay seems to want to start right away meaning that he probably needs the others to shut up. But what is interesting here is the way Weir looks at McKay. She narrows her eyes, and it is almost exactly the way Avrid was looking at Sheppard in the previous scene. Weir does not have the Ancient gene nor does she have any capacity for mind-reading but it could be that her reaction to McKay saying something that she did not want to hear was the same as Avrid's to Sheppard just thinking something that he did not wish to know.

And while Weir may be frustrated by the situation, it is not as though she is more keenly aware of the time passing than McKay is. He is working as fast as he can because he does not want Sheppard to have to spend one moment longer in the time dilation field than he has to; there is really no need to pass judgement on the way he is working here. It is possible that it is McKay's tone here that made her trip because he does not sound urgent but sounded rather like he was shutting them out. And we actually hear McKay close his device before the scene ends, probably signaling that he was about to turn around to start going through the data by himself. From his eyes that are reddish, gleaming, and looking up just the way Sheppard had been looking up at the cave ceiling when he was holding back tears, McKay may have needed a moment alone here that was not just for the purposes of concentration.

Continued in Pt. 10

[isabelleneville]

𓅃 ANNE BOLEYN APPRECIATION WEEK 𓅃

Day Five - Favourite Family Dynamic: Anne and her brother George Boleyn The pair were close and similar in temperament, sharing the same intellectual and aesthetic interests, and developing a passion for ‘new learning’ – the liberation from the old dominant way of thinking – that was inspired by the Renaissance. Perhaps the strongest evidence of their bond can be found in two religious texts by the French humanist Jacques Lefèvre d’Étaples, which Anne asked her brother to translate. These beautifully bound works from George to Anne still survive in the British Library, and not only suggest was a man capable of deep spirituality, but also a devoted brother. In his dedication, George wrote: “I have been so bold to send unto you, not jewels or gold, whereof you have plenty, not pearl or rich stones, whereof you have enough, but a rude translation of a wellwiller, a goodly matter meanly handled, most humbly desiring you with favour to weigh the weakness of my dull wit.” — Lauren McKay

[thatndginger]

Let's try this again, shall we?

I’m K (she/they), an overworked, perpetually exhausted cog in the corporate machine who's chosen method of staying sane is writing about queer idiots getting into trouble.

I live in Wyoming, USA with my partner Cryptid, who features fairly often on this blog. Other featured family members are my four dogs and one cat. Since this is a personal blog as well as a writing one, you'll find posts about my interests outside of writing as well. Ye have been warned~

My primary WIPs are set in an urban fantasy world I call the Shapeshifter universe, or Shifter!verse for short.

Set in a modern-day version of our own world, Shapeshifter is a low-magic urban fantasy setting. Magic is a subtle force, incapable of knitting wounds back together or creating fireballs, but a force all the same. Werewolves, vampires, witches, and all manner of supernatural creatures exist openly in the world in small numbers. In the United States, the largest numbers congregate in the city of Moressau on the coast of Washington.

Morressau has all the problems of a major city and then some. Vampire queens and werewolf mob bosses vie for territory and political power while the powers that be turn a blind eye as long as they get a cut. The regular folk do what they must to get by, carving out lives for themselves in a city that only sees the sun thirty days of the year, determined to find happiness in the dark corners of a city that cares for them as long as they care for it.

Most of the current focus of Shapeshifter is on the first book of the Moressau series, Into the Storm, and its trio of main characters. As a bonus, I've started a second WIP following two characters in a tiny mountain town in Wyoming called The Runaway. You can find out more of both below.

General tags: #wip: shapeshifter, #shapeshifter vibes

There’s a routine to Kerr McKay’s life. Help his not-a-boss smuggle goods around the city, get into fights with vampires and werewolves, run from cops, go drinking with his best friends Jay de Lange and Warrick Salehrad. Oh, and occasionally turn into a dog. Just a day in the life of a shifter living on the fringes of society.

Until a new face appears at his favorite bar, a new gang starts trying to weasel it’s way into his territory, and his not-a-boss makes it clear that the last thing Kerr should be doing is getting himself involved.

Kerr has never been good at taking orders.

You can read the first six chapters on AO3!

Tag: #shapeshifter: into the storm

Temperance Maddox is running from his past.

All he wants is to forget. The things he's done, the things he's witnessed, the things he knows. And the best way to forget is to put a couple thousand miles between himself and the place that haunts his nightmares. Until Temperance finds himself stranded in a middle-of-nowhere town and relying on the kindness of strangers as he re-learns what it means to be a human being.

Dean Matthews is trying to build a future.

He's got people who depend on him, who love him despite all that he is. And he'll do whatever it takes to make sure he never lets them down. Even if it means learning how to be something he never thought he could be. Then a stranger finds their way into Dean's quiet, routine life and challenges everything he knows about himself and the life he's built.

You can read the first six chapters on AO3!

Tag: #shapeshifter: the runaway

[kingarthurflourofficial]

5/5 Books of 2024!

(*denotes a re-read!)

Some Desperate Glory (fantasy/sci-fi) Emily Tesh

The Golden Enclaves (fantasy) Naomi Novik

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance (fantasy) Foz Meadows

Gaudy Night & Busman's Honeymoon* (mystery/realistic fiction) Dorothy L. Sayers

The Year of the Griffin* (fantasy) Diana Wynne Jones

System Collapse* (sci-fi) Martha Wells

Lady of Quality* (romance/historical fiction) Georgette Heyer

mislaid in parts half-known (fantasy) Seanan McGuire

the benefits of being an octopus (middle grade, realistic fiction) Ann Braeden

the woods all black (horror, folklore) Lee Mandelo

his majesty’s dragon* (fantasy, historical fiction) Naomi Novik

a sorceress comes to call (folklore, fantasy) T. Kingfisher

someone you can build a nest in (folklore, fantasy) John Wiswell

the exiles* [series] (middle grade, reaslistic fiction) Hilary McKay

jingo* (fantasy, sci-fi, satire) Terry Pratchett

gilgamesh (folklore, historical) trans. Herbert Mason

the duke at hazard (historical fiction, romance) K.J. Charles

the house of the red balconies (romance, fantasy) A.J. Demas

box hill (romance [?], historical fiction) Adam Mars-Jones

the goblin emperor* (fantasy, politics) Katherine Addison

&

the witness for the dead*

Super-infinite : the transformations of John Donne (non-fiction, historical) Katherine Rundell

chapters* (poetry, humour) Tim Key

[cosmicanger]

Untitled #1093 (Buddha Boy), 2001 - 03

by Petah Coyne

Specially-formulated wax, cast-wax statuary figure, pigment, silk flowers, synthetic feathers, acetate ribbon, tassels, white pearl-headed hat pins, artificial pearl strands, horse hair, chicken-wire fencing, wire, acrylic primer, plywood, metal hardware, aluminum 52 x 51 1/8 x 52 inches. Photograph: Wit McKay

[werdlewrites]

masterlist - ao3 - kofi - twitter @djomamma

show support through likes, comments, and reblogs!

summary: Steve had said things would get worse with secrecy and lies, but Hopper can’t stomach the look in her eyes when he strips away the only life she had ever known. Parents she may or may not remember, and how she wound up beneath someone else's roof. His heart is already racing with anticipation from what he’s about to do, fingers tight and trembling around a file until it crinkles. He sits in silence at their small table, elbows hoisted up with fingers tangling in his mess of hair as he stares down at the bold, printed words at the top of the paper. Temporary Guardianship Agreement. warnings: parental abandonment?? mentions of death, mentions of foster care wc: 3,024

MCKAY-HOLBROOK 1961

"By a ceremony performed Saturday evening, June 24th, by Rev. Charles O’Connell at 234 Washington St, Columbus, Indiana, Miss Lynn Joy Holbrook and Mr. Warren Don Mckay, were married. The bride wore an ivory dress with lace throughout. The groom wore two-toned ivory white and midnight blue trousers in compliments to the bouquet. The bride and groom will be celebrating at the groom's family home with few guests."

Hard-working hands have dried as they sift through delicate and aged papers. History is inked in the newspaper for all to bear witness. No one would care about the small print; they would flip to the next page, where more important articles awaited them in long paragraphs. Times changing, big events yet to come for readers or receiving a summarized version of what's already passed. But to him, this tiny article was everything. He stood on a rotted bridge above treacherous waters, planks falling away with every moment spent in the unknown. Never knowing where to turn until taking that leap of faith, only to have the wood crack and send him back toward safety. Now, he had names. Names to give the faces that smiled on splotchy brown paper, unaware they were being photographed in the courthouse. Hopper was closer than he had ever been—the end of this bridge in sight, where a new world awaited him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Eugene and Ruth Mckay are the parents of a son born Monday, April 5th, 1937, at The Birthing Center at Columbus Regional Hospital."

There’s a small stack dedicated to the boy. Birth, achievements, and changes in life, including his marriage to Lynn. His parents had been proud enough to pay for small spots in the paper, putting their only child on a pedestal for all to see. A man dedicated to education, pursuing a career on that very path despite the low pay. You could see him smiling in front of the class as he tutored young minds. The very school he worked for earning a place in the local paper for high praise. However, a darker turn awaits at the end for the boy named Warren. His father, Eugene, dies of a sudden heart attack in 1964 while working in the factories. A large funeral is held for a gone man, seemingly well-loved and dearly missed. Jim can barely make out the faces in the crowd—a shorter woman with a tissue concealing her face—while her son and daughter-in-law stand just beside the grieving widow. Everything seems to go silent after that. There are no more reports; safe for the one article to come years later, the couple already long gone from their quiet home. His wife offers even less help, though it’s intriguing enough.

"Lynn Joy Holbrook, born Monday, February 21st, 1938, at Trinity Health Birth Center, in Grand Rapids, Michigan."

There’s no mention of her parents or explanation as to why she wound up in Indiana. There were no achievements or events in her family name until her sister, Beverley Holbrook, makes a declaration of her disappearance in 1958. It’s a plea for her safe return, should she have been taken away. She was unaware that her baby sister was building a new life in a different state, and no one bothered to seek closure for the hole she left behind. There are no mentions of a child being born, though evidence in a stolen Polaroid proves otherwise— - keeping the joy to themselves, with purpose. He sees more of her in their faces—nearly identical to the woman with few features gifted by a father. It’s a deep and tangled web of mystery, eating away at his mind as the spiders crawl along for a feast. When and where did Ian Reid or Dr. Brenner come into play? Warren had no siblings to entrust his daughter to, and Beverly remained behind in Michigan with her husband, Mick— most likely even unaware there had been a niece to dote upon. And right now, he wasn’t about to show up on a stranger's doorstep with good news, handing the girl over and leaving unknowing of her fate. But he did need to do something.

The paperwork is abandoned in his truck, locked up with only one key to get in or out. It had become the safest place to keep prying eyes away from his research, no matter if it involved her or not. Steve had said things would get worse with secrecy and lies, but Hopper can’t stomach the look in her eyes when he strips away the only life she had ever known. Parents she may or may not remember, and how she wound up beneath someone else's roof. His heart is already racing with anticipation from what he’s about to do, fingers tight and trembling around a file until it crinkles. He sits in silence at their small table, elbows hoisted up with fingers tangling in his mess of hair as he stares down at the bold, printed words at the top of the paper.

Temporary Guardianship Agreement

It’s not been discussed—not even a whisper. Autumn had said he needed to figure something out, and this was it. Legally, she still needed someone to shelter and guide her. Someone to make sure schoolwork was done and keep her far from a rebellious path. He pictures the fear in her face as she’s carted away once again, forcing her to surrender to the foster care system. She’ll bounce around. Back and forth between families until she falls numb to abandonment, receiving little love and unable to give it back. The word would have become foreign. Then, she’ll turn eighteen and be cast out into the wilderness. Wolves either devour her whole as she moves on unsteady feet, or she takes the pain to become part of the pack. Unrecognizable to not only others that once knew her but to herself. Hopper had been there when she needed him, and he would be damned if he left her now.

He can hear the roar of an engine in the distance—slow-moving tires as they creep up onto the cabin. In such a quiet place, it’s enough to pull him back into reality. He checks his watch, and the time reads 3:46 p.m. School had just gotten out, and with strict orders to come straight back to the cabin, the timing matches. Just like the day before. Only this time, there’s no comfort in her return—only dread. She’s racing up the steps, eager to be freed of the cold winds, and sit right by the fireplace, homework in hand. But she spots his disheveled state, slowly easing off her coat with a weary look in her eye.

“Hi,” she greets in an uncertain tone, testing the waters before she dares to inch closer. The officer can’t even bring himself to reply, only nodding in acknowledgment of her arrival. The discomfort is hard to miss. “What’s-whats up?”

His body shifts then. Arms crossing over the table as he leans into it, obscuring the paperwork between them. “Nothing,” he sighs out. “Just, uh, just a long day.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, but something remained hidden nonetheless, and Autumn seems to notice.

She mouths an “Okay” as she continues to wade through shallow waters, not yet confident enough to swim and meet him at the depths. But the girl looks at him as she fusses over her bag, trying to appear casual, but the raging waves are difficult to ignore. She braces for impact. “Are you sure?” Blue eyes look up to her again, and he wears a forced smile. Nothing like what she had seen on their shopping spree, and certainly not similar to the one he wore next to Joyce. She teeters around it, sensing danger far worse than blackened waters. “What’s that you got there?” His attention is snapping back down to the papers, his heart racing, and leaving him too sick to speak. “Important cop business?” She’s trying to lighten the mood. Hoping to ease the wrath of Poseidon so that they may be spared.

“Uh, no, actually,” his words come out soft, and pained. There is no liferaft to be seen as he dives headfirst, accepting what’s to come. “It’s our business.” He pulls back to reveal the file, though she’s still too far away to know what it all means. A hand lazily gestures towards the chair just across from him, asking for her to sit.

She elects to let him drown. Arms crossed with a head held high to avoid the rising tides. “I’ll stand, thanks.”

Her stubborn attitude has an open hand tighten into a fist, a heavy sigh of defeat falling from his chest. Would he ever be ready for this? “Look, uh,” the words are building up in his throat, creating a blockade he has to either choke down or spew across the table for another breath. “Your dad’s been gone for a while.” The girl’s weight shifts from one leg to the other, her tongue pressed to the inside of her cheek. “Y’know, eventually his absence will get brought up. The school making phone calls, but never hearing anything back. Not showing up for parent-teacher conferences.”

“What’s your point?” She bites back. Somehow he can sense that she already knows what’s just over the horizon, yet she can’t bring herself to voice it out loud.

“My point is… I don’t want t’see you wind up in some stranger’s house.” She’s chewing at her lip anxiously, a deep, unsteady breath filling her lungs, preparing for what awaits her as the level threatens to rise above her.

“Don’t want to? Or can’t?” She questions.

The quiet cabin is suddenly flipped by the loud squeak of a chair sliding across the wood. His haste in closing their distance is almost alarming, leaving her to flinch but keep a steady gaze on him. “Look, kid, this ain’t no walk in the park. This isn’t your two-story, white picket fence home. It’s cramped, and isolated, and maybe you feel out of place. But that man is still out there, and if there’s the slimmest chance that I can protect you here, I’m going t’take it. So, no, I don’t want to.” Her focus hasn’t broken, though the lines of his face begin to blur. Wrinkles of stress and sleepless eyes blend together in a haze. The pleading in his tone is all she needs. Drinking in his ache, while her own heart slowly dies. “If you want t’risk it, you have t’tell me. But I can’t protect you out there.”

A shaken breath falls, unaware she had been holding it hostage. Without another word being spared between the two, cautious steps carry her away from Hopper and towards the table. Autumn is far too fearful to get too close, merely leaning in as if the paper would somehow wound her. She blinks frantically to clear her sight, letting fresh tears fall as she reads the title in bold. She’s grateful but can’t ignore the heartbreak, growing necrotic inside and withering away with a gust of wind. In a fury, her coat is pulled back into her arms—keys still in hand as she rushes past him. “I need t’go.”

“Autumn-”

“Hopper,” she warns with a fiery look in her eyes, a pointed finger held between the two. The girl seems unaware of the flickering lights from within, though he can’t help but look around the small room in worry. “I-I need t’go. I just need t’breathe.”

He towers before her with fists at his sides, fighting back the instinct to pull her back into safety. “Where will you go?” Glossy eyes flicker around the room in thought, before Jonathan’s name fumbles out of her mouth in a lie. Hopper is reluctant to let her go, but with Joyce there to watch out for her where he couldn’t, he ultimately agrees. Just before she’s gone from the threshold, he manages to slip the walkie-talkie in her hold. It was a miracle that she even allowed him that peace of mind. “If anything happens on the way.”

Autumn hardly remembers the drive as she escapes into the evening. Her thoughts spiral, distracting enough to nearly end in a fender-bender. The aggravated voice of the driver ahead manages to spike already high stress levels, and she elects to seek shelter somewhere nearby while the storm settles. A quiet diner—one she’s all too familiar with from previous visits. It’s just before dinner, and she knows this peace won’t last long, so she’s quick to grab a seat and plant herself there until her ass is numb and her legs forget to work. Long after a slowly enjoyed meal, despite the unsettling nausea. In her haste, she's abandoned homework at the cabin and is left to the lonesome of her mind. Thoughts were screaming loud enough to drown out the chitchat around her or the clank of silverware. It renders her frozen in time—dissociated as vacant eyes stare down at a half-eaten meal of sandwich and fries. The tsunami has followed her out of that cabin, crashing into her and leaving her bones to ache. Autumn is logical; she’s aware this won’t kill her, but it’s the journey out of harm's way she struggles to cope with. Her father was out there and very much alive. Possibly even far from Hawkin’s. Another state entirely. She digs away at the flesh of her lip, picturing his lies as he dresses himself in a lab coat with no car oil or grease to dirty his skin. Not the blue-collar lifestyle he claimed to live. She was more than just logical; she was goddamn gullible.

She conjures up an image of that man at his side. A sickening smile on his face as the screams of children rang out in her mind. He calls himself a stranger, but somehow, she knows it’s more than that.

There’s a commotion just next to her as the empty stool is filled, her body reacting on impulse to escape, though settling once she registers the new company. Heather sits with a duffle bag slung across the counter, a smile quickly vanishing into a look of concern. “You look like shit.”

A relieved sigh falls through, eyes now studying the mirror just across, almost anticipating to find that man in the reflection. “Thanks.”

“No,” the girl blurts out, now frustrated with herself. “I-I didn’t mean like that. I just meant-”

“I know what you meant.” Autumn humors, the faintest smile at the corner of her lips. “I do look like shit.” They fall into a brief silence. Autumn finds comfort in having someone familiar nearby, while Heather mentally kicks herself, lost on how to continue. “Aren’t you,” Autumn begins, now twirling the base of a tall glass across the surface. “Aren’t you supposed t’be, I don’t know, fighting monsters with Eddie?”

The girl at her side makes a face, her eyes narrowed. “I don’t just play Dungeons and Dragons, y’know. I have things.” Autumn spares a look of doubt, a single brow raised to lure out the truth. “Besides, everyone’s busy.” She mumbles, almost too embarrassed to admit that if it were any other day, she would have been at the game table. There’s a huff of amusement, and focus is redirected to stir the milkshake. Heather seems to notice how her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “What’s wrong? Aside from your questionable taste in drinks in winter.”

Finally, the joy shifts and appears more sincere. Though she doesn’t take the playful bait laid out for her. “Just-just shit. Family shit.”

Heather holds out a hand for pause, a look of genuine sympathy in her eyes. “Say no more. I’m familiar with ‘family shit.” Somehow, Autumn doubts that.

Heather begins flipping through the plastic menu, humming to herself, and Autumn can’t help but wonder if she’s set up for the long haul. Ready to dine with a friend. “So, are we running away from family shit?”

The girl snorts, finding her appetite with a distracted mind, helping herself to room-temperature fries and a slow-melting drink. She mumbles around the straw,

“Nowhere t’run to.”

Heather scoffs at her pessimism, waving a hand in her direction. “There’s plenty t’run to. Chicago? Maybe go swim with some sharks in Florida? That’ll get your mind off it.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought some things through.”

Their eyes meet, and the girl wears a small smile. The menu is folded back up and pushed to the side. “Doesn’t everyone think about traveling? Seeing more than just Hawkins, even if it’s temporary.” The teen locks eyes with the waitress, and a silent conversation is had, nodding in acknowledgment before she dips into the back, the door swinging as she leaves. “We talked about making it big in the cities. Big cities. Like New York, or something.” Autumn can see the way her focus flickers out. A light in her eyes shifts and sways as she dances through a future of wants and desires. All before she plummets back to reality. “Can’t leave my mom behind, though. Plus, I’m not gettin’ very far on a bike.”

Her face contorts in amusement, just at the edge of laughter. “Mom doesn’t want t’move t’New York?”

“My mom? She’d have a heart attack.”

They linger in the moment. Hearts suddenly warmed and troubles were forgotten—at least forgotten enough to enjoy the company. Heather swivels impatiently on the stool, her eyes locked on the metal door that remains still. The shouts of the cooks and the waitress were heard booming just beyond the wall. “You got plans tonight?”

“Other than plotting my escape into the big beyond? Not really.”

Heather nods along in understanding, her tongue clicking against the roof of her mouth. “I’m waiting for my mom’s food. I was going t’head home and, I don’t know, probably get up t’no good. You want t’come?”

Autumn isn’t sure if she means it. Whether they’ll wind up with red and blue lights flashing at their backs, or if it’s as simple as watching a movie. But she’s desperate, and takes the offer with an eager, “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

[malinastharlock]

Hi everyone I have been ask to judge a costume contest at the LGBTQ+ Halloween party, QueerNavil, in Winston-Salem. If you live in the triad area and looking for some fun this Saturday just head to:

Fair Witness Fancy Drinks

290 4th St E, Winston-Salem, NC 27101

It starts at 7:00 PM

Grand prize for best overall costume wins

$100 Brookstone Gift card

Other costume categories are:

Scariest

Funniest

Most Creative

Best Group

Each winner will receive a Ed McKay's 25$ gift card.

This is all put together by North Star LGBTQ+ Community Center of Winston-Salem. So head out this Saturday and say hi to me 👋😁

[positivelybeastly]

Okay but is Cable worthy of your BFF Tess

"Tess McKay is a fully grown, mostly mature woman with a sharp mind, a formidable wit, and an incredible bearing about her. If Nathan were not worthy of her, he would know it. Loudly."

"That being said, if it's my blessing they want, then it's my blessing they have. I shan't lie and pretend that it's not weird, knowing that my best friend is having carnal relations with a man that I've seen spit up Pablum all over Jean's face, sitting in a high chair, but my life is just weird in general."

@themckaytriarchy

@wintercosmickillsx

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"GUNMAN DRAWS FIVE YEARS FOR ARMED ROBBERY," Vancouver News Herald. September 15, 1934. Page 1. ---- 'Pen' Sentence Sequel to Downtown Chase By Detectives ---- Identified by two men as the gunman who held up one of them on the night of July 2 last, Thomas Andrew Duncan, 32, marine engineer and itinerant painter, was convicted in County Court on Friday by Judge Harper, and sentenced to five years in the B. C. Penitentiary, for robbery with violence.

The sentence consisted of three years for the robbery, and automatically an extra two years for the use of a gun in the offence.

Duncan, who took his sentence calmly, was positively identified by Joe Swiss, the victim, and by Mike Gregory, a companion of Swiss' at the time the robbery occurred. They declared that two men took part in the robbery, Duncan holding a gun, and the other man rifling Swiss' pockets of $40 in cash, and two cheques totalling $20. An additional $75, sewn into a pocket, was overlooked.

Detectives G. J. Ward and J. L. Headrick told of the arrest of Duncan following a chase through downtown streets on the morning after the robbery. Duncan, who was defended by W. J. Murdock, denied the charge, saying that he was at home during the time of the crime. A defence witness was Constable C. W. McKay, who told of arresting Swiss on a charge of drunkenness, shortly after the robbery was alleged to have taken place,

In passing sentence, Judge Harper said that if he had to rely solely on the evidence of Swiss, he would have had to have given the accused the benefit of the doubt. He had further identification from Gregory, however. The robbery took place in the entrance to the Alvin Rooms, unit block Cordova Street, where Swiss lived.

Walter S. Owen prosecuted.

[spnfistfight]

Welcome to spnfistfight, round two, child edition!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

After a stunning victory by Ms. Eileen Leahy, we're following up with a second brawl. This time, with children. The rules are simple:

1. The character must be or have been under 18 during the course of the show. If they have aged over 18, the under 18 version of the character will be used. Possession does not count if the supernatural being is an adult.

2. No weapons or superpowers are permitted in the ring. Only their wits and their fists.

Submissions are to be sent through the ask box. I am looking for preferably 64, so we can go twice as long as last time, but 32 is the minimum. Submissions are closing on June 4, and Round One will begin shortly after.

The child fights will be tagged as both #spnfistfight and #spnchildfight. Personal posts are under jes.txt.

If you have any questions about submissions or rules, send me an ask, I'd love to help.

Participants are under the cut :)

Aiden (8x18)

Alex Jones

Allen (7x22)

Asher (1x18)

Barry (4x13)

Ben Braeden

Ben Colins (1x02)

Bela Talbot

Bobby Singer (7x10)

Bobby John (6x02)

Caitlin Johnson (15x16)

Callie Garrison (3x05)

Castiel, Gertie, and Sam Fitzgerald

Channing Ngo (7x21)

Claire Novak (10 Years Old)

Cyrus Styne (10x22)

Daphne Blake

Dean Winchester (9x07)

Dean Winchester II

Dirk (4x13)

Eileen Leahy (11x11)

Elliot (14x13, 14x16)

Emily (7x22)

Emma Winchester

Evan McKay (1x15)

Family Remains Girl (Unnamed) (4x11)

Fred Jones

Gary (5x12)

Jack Kline

Jacob Pond

Jesse (The Antichrist)

John Winchester (?) (8x12)

Jordy Pinsky (11x05)

Josephine Barnes (8x18)

Kate (8x04, 10x04)

Kevin Tran

Krissy Chambers

Lily Shoemaker (1x05)

Lizzy Gibson (4x11)

Lora (14x03)

Lucas Barr (1x03)

Magda Peterson (12x04)

Maggie Thompson (2x11)

Matt Pike (1x08)

May Sunder

Max (14x13, 14x16)

Melanie Merchant (1x19)

Michael (1x18)

Mick Davies

Missy Bender (1x15)

Oliver (8x16)

Owen Mills

Patience Turner

Peter Sweeny (1x03)

Sam Winchester (4x13)

Shaggy Rogers and Scooby-Doo

Stacy (14x13, 14x16)

The entire cast of Supernatural: The Musical (10x05)

The Gore Boys (5x09)

Timmy (9x07)

Toni Bevell's Son (11x23)

Tod (4x08)

Travis Johnson

Tyler Thompson (2x11)

Velma Dinkley

[dr-futbol-blog]

Epiphany, Pt. 11

From Sheppard clearly having an idea, the scene changes to McKay having a breakthrough in the jumper, jutting one finger up in the air to alert everyone to the fact that he is onto something. While these things did not happen synchronously, Sheppard's walk on the meadows having taken place when McKay was still en route or just having returned to Atlantis, these things were juxtaposed for a reason, and it is not merely McKay's enthusiasm over discovery that connects him to Sheppard thinking about pleasure. Although the data had initially looked like gibberish, McKay was able to make sense of it because he is practiced in reading it, and this too is a metaphor.

McKay: Ha! The telemetry was not entirely gibberish. Bring up the HUD. I've been able to determine the location of the power source inside the field, here.

Now, what is interesting here (and with regards to the juxtaposition of the two scenes) is that we see McKay touch the pilot with his finger here -- the very same finger that he had lifted erect up in the air. He taps the man's shoulder (or more accurately, pokes at him) lightly to get his attention, and we can tell that he made contact by how the pilot turns to look back at him having felt the touch.

What this tells us is that he has not only done the same thing previously with Sheppard that we never got to actually see, he has done it so many times that it has become a muscle memory for him, it is an ingrained habit that he is unable to hold back even though this man sitting in front of him is not the man who usually sits there. And this is a clever way of implying that touches between Sheppard and McKay are much more frequent than what we actually get to see on screen. We saw Sheppard do the same thing on the Aurora (S02E09), tapping on McKay's arm to get his attention when he could just as well have gotten his attention verbally. The two of them seem to have a real need to be able to see the other man's face when they are communicating. And given the juxtaposition of the scenes, it is also curious that we get this indication of routine touch between Sheppard and McKay here following his stroll on the meadows with a woman that he felt neither the desire nor the familiarity to touch.

It is understandable that we do not get to see many touches between them, but the way in which the touches that we do see happen witness to such touches being much more frequent and commonplace between them than is visually evidenced. And like on the Aurora we saw McKay also touch Sheppard through caressing his projection on the screen, here too we see a touch by proxy in how McKay's pointing hand is where Sheppard is on the HUD. He has essentially located the planet's G-spot (Generator-spot, of course), brushing up against Sheppard's location. This confirms that McKay poking this pilot was really about McKay wanting to touch Sheppard. Even if he is only on the HUD, McKay feels the need to reach out to him.

Beckett: What good is that? McKay: Once we know where the generator is, one way or another, I should be able to turn it off.

Now that McKay is fairly certain he has found a way to help get Sheppard out of the time dilation field, he sounds much more chipper. He is confident that he will be able to turn off what ever is powering the thing holding Sheppard, which implies that he would also conversely be able to turn on what ever it is, also connecting this to Sheppard having a thought about pleasures. And later on, McKay seems to be able to instantly turn off what ever Teer had been trying to ignite in Sheppard without making any conscious effort to do so just by passing through the threshold, and it is not just McKay's desire to get his hands on the ZPM presumably powering the field that makes Teer sour. She seems to hate McKay on first sight just like Chaya hated McKay, and that also is curiouser and curiouser.

From thereon we move to a montage of Sheppard whiling away the days in the land where time stands still, getting acquainted with "what kind of a life" they have in here. And let us just start with this:

So, like. Sheppard sits at the end of the table, meaning that he had either been the first or (more likely) the last person to be seated, so his placement is not really relevant here. But note the way he follows the bearded and handsome man bringing them a plate of food. Now, he stretches out his neck and you might make an argument that he is just interested in the food, that he is only paying attention to the food. Only, we see his head turn to follow the man as he passes and not only that, the camera follows him as well. The camera panning after the man confirms to us that Sheppard was checking him out.

And given that he had scouted out the place and the people already, unlike many previous times that we have seen him do the exact same thing, he has no strategic or military excuse for doing this. He simply wants to watch the man go, to check out his rear end. We may also note that he stops his head from turning all the way and following the man just as soon as he notices Teer watching him, suddenly turning his face away from her. What we are watching here is most definitely not puppy love.

Then there is the meditation. Sheppard does not enjoy it but we see him partake in it because what else is he going to do? It's the local pastime. We see Teer meditating with him, this is true. But what the heteronormative audience likely fails to notice is that in every one of the scenes, we also see Avrid. Both Teer and Avrid (and also the bearded dude) are always there with him, and they both always sit behind him meaning that while he may be aware of their presence, he is not watching them as he meditates.

We may note how the camera comes to a stop here as Sheppard is smack in the middle of the siblings, Teer to his right and Avrid to his left. We see more of Teer as Sheppard blocks Avrid from sight, but Sheppard is also overlaid with Avrid, and he leans his face toward him. He turns his head slightly and it is Avrid that he is trying to see from the corner of his eyes. And this? Is confirmed by how later on, he flat out says that Avrid is always meditating as though he really wished that the man would do something else with him. He wanted to spend time with Avrid doing something other than meditation. Sheppard says this. Teer spending her time meditating does not phase him, Avrid meditating instead of spending his time with Sheppard upsets him.

Later on in Tao of Rodney (S03E04), Sheppard has to use the skills that he learns here to save McKay's life, he has to try to teach McKay how to ascend. While he is doing this, Sheppard tells McKay about his time here and while the information does come through a filter, at the same time it does tell us how he viewed his time here, how he felt and what he thought about it, how he experienced it all. They are in Sheppard's quarters (and the choice to do it there instead of McKay's quarters is also curious), surrounded by all the candles with McKay sitting on the floor underneath while Sheppard perches on a table, looking down at him. They are discussing the concept of meditation:

McKay: Look, you're teaching me how to meditate — not exactly good odds there to start with. Sheppard: I realize that! Truth is… I was never really very good at this myself. [...] I was with those Ancients for six months. Maybe I picked up something that might be able to help you. Now… first thing I think you need to come to terms with is, this is not a means to an end. McKay: What? Wha-no, of course it is! Sheppard: No-no-no. You can't do that! You can't think that you're just going to ascend and then retake human form and be done with it all. McKay: That is exactly what I'm trying to do! Look, from what I understand, I mean, dishonesty is not going to help the process. Sheppard: Good point.

While all the others in the village may have been meditating in pursuit of ascension, that was never Sheppard's motivation for doing it and that was not something he was ever interested in doing. However much he may have wanted to leave the sanctuary, leaving by ascension was never an option for him. While he participated in meditation with them, we can tell by the faces he makes that he found it an absolute waste of time. But because McKay was now dying, he was having to rack up his memory for the teachings he had received during his time there.

Also, Sheppard calls them Ancients here where they considered themselves "the ones who came after," but, although likely an error in continuity, it also tells us that he placed them in the same exact category in his mind as Chaya--which is to say, not his favourite people. Also, this tells us that the thought that he might ascend and retake human form on the other side probably had occurred to Sheppard while he was there, because he really did want to get the heck out. They continue:

McKay: You know, while we're at it, my knees are killing me. How does anyone relax like this? Sheppard: Find a position that works. McKay: Right. Okay. Sheppard: Fine. Now… I want you to become aware of your breaths…going in…and out of your body. McKay: In… and out. Sheppard: Do it without talking! McKay: Oh, right. Sheppard: Now… I want you to think about the things that you worry about the most. McKay: You mean like death? Sheppard: There's no talking! Think of anything that makes you anxious. McKay: Oh god, there's so many things. Not talking happens to be one of them, by the way. Sheppard: Deal with it!

This is a really weird exchange without the aid of subtext. In the Cloister, they all meditated by sitting in some kind of lotus position, as you do. That is how McKay starts going into it here. However, as he does not find it a position in which he can relax, he lies down. Instead of lying down on the bed that is right there for the lying, he lies down on the floor. That is fucking weird. For some reason, McKay seemed to feel like Sheppard's bed was off limits for him (at this time), and being that Sheppard does not tell him to get up and lie on the bed instead, Sheppard obviously felt the same way. Lying down on the floor is not very comfortable either but for some reason both of them felt like McKay lying down on the floor was safer than him lying on the bed, and it is only when McKay has something like an aneurysm later that Sheppard lays him down on the bed himself. Now, this may hark back to what we saw in Trinity (S02E06), Sheppard fearing that having McKay in his room, on his bed would inevitably lead to "an accident". There is a practiced ease to how he lays McKay down.

What is even weirder, we see Sheppard sit down on his bed as he watches McKay on the ground and he takes up a golf magazine, pretends to browse it like trying to save the life of his dying friend is the most boring, tedious thing he can think of. He cannot stand to be in McKay's company even for that without having to leaf through a magazine, showing us just how little regard he has for McKay. Right? Weir had told them to do this so they are doing this.

But we have seen Sheppard pretend to read before. He 100% puts the magazine on his lap to either hide an erection or in case he has to hide an erection. That is what he is doing. It is a distraction, it is defensive barrier, and that defensive barrier is between McKay lying on the floor in front of him, looking up at him, and his dick. That is what is happening here. Sheppard needs the magazine because he is turned on.

And the thing is, we have seen Sheppard turned on by McKay lying on the floor before, all grimy and sweaty as he was fixing the jumper in Condemned (S02E05). He was so turned on he could barely keep his voice from trembling with want. If you want to see what Sheppard looks like when he is turned on, watch that scene. Listen to his voice.

And what is more, it is entirely possible that the reason he was turned on then was because he had seen McKay in a similar position previously, lying on his back fixing the jumper, after the events of The Defiant One (S01E12) before their first kiss. Like, just before their first kiss. Possibly leading up to their first kiss. McKay lying on his back on the floor in front of him reminds him of when they made out for the first time, when they crossed that threshold, and that is why he was vibrating with want in Condemned and that is why he is struggling to hide an erection while teaching him to meditate. If McKay is having trouble concentrating, so does he. Sheppard is talking nonsense because his thoughts are not entirely on meditation here:

Sheppard: Now… imagine yourself… sitting on a Ferris wheel. McKay: What? Sheppard: Look, I-I told you, I didn't pay much attention to what the Ancients were teaching me. I like Ferris wheels, so that's what I thought about… and the fact that the woman teaching me how to meditate was… very attractive.

So, for one, Sheppard saying "...very attractive" here has more to do with what is right in front of him on the floor than it does with what ever had happened in the sanctuary all those months ago, but let us brush that aside for a moment. The obvious reference here is to Teer. The obvious interpretation of the line is that Sheppard is remembering Teer, the woman we saw kiss him, and that he is describing her as "...very attractive". She had to have been the woman teaching him how to meditate, yes? Only, each and every time we actually see them meditate, both Teer and Avrid are behind him, and this may be because he chose to place himself so that he was not in a position to watch them out of fear that they might distract him -- which is unlikely because it seems like he had come in before them and they had taken their places after him (and also, he clearly did not care about being able to concentrate) -- or they had both chosen places and vantage points to be able to watch him.

However, if what they were doing was guided meditation and there actually was someone teaching him how to meditate here, it follows that the teacher would have been up front and he actually would have been in a position to watch her during his meditation. Meaning that the attractive woman he is referring to (again 100% in an effort to think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts while McKay is lying prone right before him) was someone else, someone other than Teer.

All the people in the sanctuary were attractive. He may have been distracted by any one of them. So he is not necessarily referring to Teer but who ever he was thinking about, he was thinking about them now to distract himself form McKay. In order to keep himself from making a move on McKay, he has to think about a sexy Ancient, a Ferris wheel and golf. And it seems barely to be working, as is.

What Sheppard is saying and why he is saying it are two very different things. But even if Teer had not been the woman who taught him meditation, she is still very attractive, we can concede that. They are all very attractive. And we may again point out the fact that McKay seems hyper-aware of Sheppard finding women attractive (and women finding Sheppard attractive) like that is a normal thing between buddies and pals, and the same is true for Sheppard as regards McKay. McKay cannot help but snark about it even here:

McKay: Why am I not surprised you didn't ascend, huh? Okay, look, I'm a busy man. You're a busy man. We're both busy men. Sheppard: Just relax, all right? I'm gonna try to remember what the woman taught me. McKay: Right. Sheppard: Now, there's a dark storm swirling around your head… McKay: How is that comforting? Sheppard: I'm getting there! McKay: I just thought of a brilliant adjunct to the chaos theory! Look, I should write this down! Sheppard: McKay! McKay: Uh… Letting it go! Letting it go. Sheppard: Now… the sky is clearing. All of your troubles are fading away. McKay: Bright blue sky… I am there.

Now, Sheppard uses the mental image of a thunder storm to help McKay focus here (and he also calls him McKay here because he needs that to create some distance between them), and this too is real interesting because we are made clear later on that there are no thunder storms in the sanctuary, where these people have lived their whole entire lives. They have no idea what that even is. They get gentle rain to water the orchards but they have never experienced storms. Sheppard tells them that storms can be "very cool".

So it seems like using the storm swirling in his head and clearing into blue skies was, despite what Sheppard tells McKay, not something that this woman had taught him but had been a mental image that Sheppard had chosen himself. He had used both Ferris wheels and swirling thunder storms as his own points of focus. And let us recall that it had been during that once in a lifetime storm in The Storm (S01E10) that Sheppard and McKay had been falling in love. It had been in anticipation of the storm that McKay had realized he was in trouble, and it had been watching McKay harness the goddamn lightning that had made Sheppard look at McKay like the man was Christmas morning.

Sheppard had been thinking about storms while he sat there meditating, and if he can think of a storm again in his life without thinking about McKay, it has to be one damn impressive storm because what he had experienced then is not easily forgotten.

Anyway, this is what Sheppard tells us (and McKay) about his time in the sanctuary later, specifically as it regards meditation and what had been on his mind during these meditation sessions. And since we know for damn sure that the attractive woman had not taught him about thunder storms swirling in his head given that not one of them even knew about storms, he may not have been entirely truthful about the rest of it either. He admits that McKay has a good point about the dishonesty. He is not saying that he is or was not dishonest himself.

The next thing we see in the montage of Sheppard in the village is him walking past Teer and another woman, and of course we are to think that this signals that growing attraction between them when Teer's attraction to Sheppard has little room to grow and Sheppard's attraction to her seems to be a slow burn. We see the other woman, a blonde dressed in similar garb as Teer notice Sheppard first and check him out (raising the question if this is his meditation teacher), turning her head to watch him go. Teer then follows her line of sight and likewise checks him out. Sheppard nods at both of them in greeting, acknowledging them, and it definitely seems as though Sheppard was looking at either one or both of them.

Only, we then see that the very same handsome bearded man walks by him, and while Sheppard's first look was reserved for the blonde woman, it is once more left entirely ambiguous whether Sheppard's second look was at Teer or at this man. Regardless, Sheppard smiles seeming to enjoy his time much more than he did previously and, just to re-iterate, it takes Teer at least five more months to convince Sheppard to have sex with her, so either this is a real slow burn romance or Sheppard is finding his pleasure where he can get it. And this is something that we have seen the show do previously, something that it does regularly (especially with McKay and Weir), which is to put a woman in the foreground to obscure the fact that there is a man in the background and it is entirely up to the viewer to interpret what actually catches Sheppard's interest.

We then find Hedda, who is either Teer's daughter or sister, run up to Sheppard to help him in his daily tasks, helping him carry water from the central pool. What is interesting about this is that while carrying water is a chore requiring strength that could thus easily be interpreted as a male occupation, in most traditional societies carrying water is actually a female chore. And Hedda running up to help Sheppard in this might be a subtle indication of it being the same for their society, as she may be eager to help him because she has a little bit of a crush on him, but she might also insist on helping him because it is not something that he, as a man, should be doing.

Regardless, Sheppard seems to enjoy the company of the girl that becomes like an ersatz daughter to him. And she is very much a part of the temptation in choosing whether to ascend with these people or not because Sheppard very much wants a family. He wants to have children like he admitted to Keras in Childhood's End (S01E06), and it seems like until Runner (S02E03) this had been a dream shared by both Sheppard and McKay.

In Miller's Crossing (S04E09), we see Sheppard do his spousal duties, which is to distract McKay's niece while he has a very serious discussion with the girl's father in the other room. In this instance, Sheppard comes across more of a mom to McKay's dad but then later on with Teyla's son, Sheppard seems much more fatherly where McKay comes across as more motherly. They seem to have complementary parenting styles and they would likely make a very good parental unit, what with their their respective strengths and weaknesses. Alas, it was never to be, but a family dynamic where they had a daughter and a son would not only have worked very well but would have been both healing and fulfilling to both of them.

Relevant here is that because Sheppard does like children, he does want children, the fact that Teer has a daughter is actually one of the more appealing qualities about her to him -- if she is her daughter. In any case, for Sheppard she is much more of a surrogate daughter than a little sister, and she makes his time in this prison a little less tedious.

Another thing that Sheppard takes up to break the tedium is physical exercise, probably reminding him of is regular runs with Ronon. We see Sheppard stretching before starting his jog and again we see the same bearded man, this time walking alongside Teer, and both of them check him out. And again we see Sheppard glance in their direction briefly and whether he was looking at one or both of them is up for interpretation. This bearded man certainly seems to be around a lot of times that Sheppard is looking at people.

Also, if Hedda is Teer's daughter and not her sister, and if Hedda's father has not already ascended, then the bearded man is a candidate for who that might be. But the bearded man is not the only man at least curious about Sheppard, as the two men chopping firewood certainly turn to give him the once-over as he takes to his run.

The purpose of these runs, as revealed later, seems to have been to look for his weapons and the cave from which he came in addition to being physical exercise, but Sheppard seems to have been unable to find them again until just before McKay enters the sanctuary because he cannot orient himself on land for the life of him. These runs are also yet another thing connecting the episode to Through the Looking Glass, because in the looking glass world one has to run to stay still or running means to stay still, in the sense of Sheppard essentially treading water here.

We finish the montage off with some more meditation, emphasizing just how much meditation there is going on. And Sheppard seems to have given up even the pretense of participating in it, full on dozing off as the others are concentrating just to underscore how boring he finds this. But note that again both Teer and Avrid are behind Sheppard, on either side of him. And as we then transition directly from Shepaprd dozing off next to Avrid here to him asking Teer whether her brother, who had been the one to bring him breakfast in bed during his first day here, should not be the one to bring him breakfast... It is really not a mystery whose companionship he is actually yearning for.

Continued in Pt. 12