#William is probably holding the camera tbh

[toastermart]

Happy Massive British L Day!

[dangopango00]

After Last Night

Waking up with him after a hookup

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2 |

FAT/LBC men x gn reader (William Included for all my Aris out there)

CW: very suggestive, maybe dubcon?? (Mentioned that Lars and reader were both drunk in his)

A/N: waking up with cael is waking up behind bars thats croomf, groomf even 😭😭😭 im jp u dk him since ur childhood here ok this is a safe space

Edit: Alkaid rewrite 🥶🥶

more utc

LARS / LUO XIA (罗夏)

- SCENARIO: You’re in a similar or complementary industry to him and he’s had his eye on you a bit, admiring how you present yourself but you never really became too closely acquainted. One crazy night of drinking during a negotiations meeting later and two lonely busy old people get busy (30 isnt old sorry. Uncalled for)

- You wake up first; he is KNOCKED OUT

- He wakes up with the wildest bedhead normally and even moreso today. He’s drooling and sprawled out across the couch with a loose hold on your body (Just his arm slung around you as he sleeps)

- His grip on you tightens if you try to leave the couch but if you’re insistent he’ll just let you go; whine grumbles about it in his sleep

- He has work and he’s very busy so he’ll have to leave soon but he wants to make it up to you because he wasn’t being professional; he makes the effort to at least chat or have breakfast with you before leaving which you don’t mind since you’re busy as well

- He usually doesn’t do hookups since he’s busy, doesn’t want to lead anyone on and knows he’ll get attached too easily so he rlly dk what happened, he was lonely but ayayay this is a mess. He does his absolute best to make things less awkward for you

- This scenario would actually be so wild bc if you wanted to do it again while sober I don’t think he’d say no LOL as soon as you had breakfast/chatted he started to like you even more I think and remembers last night being really great so

- I don’t think he’d initiate it if you did do it again though because he feels really bad about being unprofessional but ever since that night if he ever sees you his eyes are glued to you, your body and all its curves and/or edges; he’s so distracted help him 😭😭

- It’s even worse if he’s pent up, he actually will just. Avoid you if you don’t assure him it’s alright he doesn’t want to be weird and he knows he wont be able to focus so he gets a little nervous around you from then on

ALKAID / LU CHEN (路辰）

- SCENARIO: You’re his classmate and more importantly, his film dealer. You’ve been selling him film and camera repairs for a pretty good price compared to how high the quality is from a small shop that doesn’t get too much traction because it’s more of an antique shop but you do offer more. He was usually standardly polite and short maybe with an extra question out of curiosity here and there before becoming a regular over time. You eventually started tacking on a few more comments and questions than necessary but not so many that it’s noticeable, chatting him up a bit im class as well until you started actively seeking him out, being curious about him and you two became friends. Since this is an edit I’m gonna say like Ayn, you’re probably already in a situationship by the time you hook up but unlike Ayn you haven’t kissed yet (he’d at least ask you out or vice versa before kissing i think) You were over at his apartment to study and help bathe Sparkle; just generally hang out and after a PAINFUL amount of tension building with playful comments and little touches so much so that you ended up kissing him and one thing lead to another !!

- You wake up first but likely go back to sleep and he wakes up during that time tbh. I feel like his home is cozy as hell not to mention Sparkle climbing up and cuddling with you

- He let you wear his clothes to bed since yours got messy and he noticed that you were shivering, freezing from wearing. Well. Nothing. So he let you borrow something and his entire face is red including his ears an neck, it’s quite a view— both you and him

- He ghosts his thumb over your features, his gentle touch almost unnoticeable as he notes each unique thing about you as if trying to identify different stars in the sky

- You had already cuddled up to him in your sleep and he lays in bed with you in his loose embrace for an absurd amount of time until he decides his heart has had enough and gets up to make you both breakfast, you stirring a bit in your sleep in the process

- He kept trying to find an opportunity to get up before but you clung to him so he couldn’t find it in himself to leave you gn but when he did eventually get up he just kissed the crown of your head and gently pulled your arms off of him, then laying you down

- His bed head is just his normal hair honestly and he doesn’t move too much, just snores a little bit and slightly drools

- He’s embarrassed the rest of the day, his usual charismatic persona failing on him when he needs it most and he’s a bit nervous not knowing if you’d felt the same as him or if it was just lust. Though all that is quickly nipped in the bud when you give him a kiss on the cheek and confess properly, holding his hands in yours

- Deciding he’s wasted enough time being a dork He offers to take you on your first date in a nearby cafe since it was pretty impromptu but he still says it with a helpless smile and slight blush. On this date he def took pictures and has them pinned on his wall; they’ll quickly become some of his most prized photos

CLARENCE / SI LAN (司岚）

- SCENARIO: You two went to the same high school all four years and maybe even the same middle school at some point but you never really interacted because he was busy with schoolwork and so were you so you really never felt the need to bother him. Little did you know Clarence had the biggest crush on you since you met and after being acquainted through the student council you became friends. Upon growing closer and some worrying about how little he relaxes later and you mayyy have accidentally made out with him a little in the council room after hours 🥺 then took it back to your apartment 🥺🥺 and ended up sleeping together 🥺🥺🥺

- He wakes up first and just stares at the ceiling. how did this happen oh my god. Not in a bad way but oh my GOD. -Clarence

- He’s so embarrassed by last night especially with his own behavior. Just remembering the sounds he made and the words he said has him reeling; he must’ve told you he loved you 100,000 times

- he just stays completely still hoping you’re still asleep and once you wake up he shuts his eyes so fast kind of trying to pretend to be asleep but with how tightly his eyes and lips are shut you know he’s awake

- You give him a little kiss on his eyelids and lips and he knows he’s caught; he blushes but then kind of just lets a small exasperated smile wash over his face; he really doesn’t know what to do

- His bedhead is basically the same as his normal but more messy around the bangs also he snores a tiny bit but thats pretty much it

- He’s pretty happy and normal when he isn’t thinking about the specifics of last night’s events

- He even goes ahead and makes breakfast for you and him as well as his cats (they’re probably the ones who woke yall up lol)

- He doesn’t do hook ups and he’s liked you so long so he reaalllly realllllllllyyyyy hopes you’ll consider getting to know him more and let him take you out on a couple dates because even if his hands are clammy the whole time he’d be so happy

WILLIAM / CHEN ZIHAN (陈子涵）

- SCENARIO: You two have always been best friends with no question of whether or not your feelings were platonic. Well he had no question. You on the other hand had been crushing on him for a while now but didn’t want to ruin the friendship. That was until college. He started noticing you more and your qualities: how you’ve matured and how you’re there when no one else is, so his feelings have gotten a little bit more than just platonic. He justified it as appreciation and normal friend things all the way up until you two suddenly decided to “test out” what kissing and making out would be like. Platonically of course. Since neither of you had ever been in a serious relationship. The sex part was just testing too, trust 🙏

- You wake up first but that doesn’t stop him from having an existential crisis when he wakes up

- You’re excited although a bit nervous from anticipation honestly since you already knew your feelings were not platonic but you didn’t know what he’d think so instead of worrying you just poke his face and admire him sleeping

- His bedhead is crazy, some of his hair sticks up and he has a pool of drool under him. He snores too— finally getting to release his feelings has him K.Od it was tew good

- You go to make breakfast or shower or something and he’d probably wake up during that time bc he doesn’t feel your warmth anymore

- Like Clarence, Liam wakes up perplexed and embarrassed and he’s worried he may have crossed a line doing what he did last night since you were supposed to be just friends! He’s freaking out so bad! come back he needs reassurance 😭

- When you get back he’s so apologetic and is just so nervous around you until you broach the subject, reassuring him that you don’t mind what happened

- After you sort out your thoughts on what happened and have a loooong talk about it you’re pretty much back to being normal and you even hang out for a bit longer, watching some movies and baking together although he does still blush and fumble his words around you a little

- He’s scared to tell you he would rather be yours than be your fwb (friend with benefits) bc this is his first hookup but considering he’s been your best friend and crush for so long you feel the same way so you end up dating pretty soon after

[doodle17]

Just got back from the fnaf movie

!!SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS!! TRUST ME THIS MOVIE IS SOOO WORTH WATCHING WITHOUT SPOILERS JUST HOLD OUT A LITTLE LONGER I BELIEVE IN YOU

Please remember if you reblog go tag with every fnaf spoiler tag you can think of btw!

Anyways

This

Movie

Was so... godamn...

GOOOD!!!!!!!!

DUDE, I KID YOU NOT THIS MOVIE FUFILLED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF 10 YEAR OLD ME'S EXPECTATIONS AND DREAMS AND IT FILLED MY CURRENT ONES TOO

You guys it was just- AHGAYAGAHWHOWWHOSBSOANALENSLSN

First of all: absolutely loved how it wasn't overly violent. I'm not a prude, but when it comes to gore and violence, I'm very particular. Everyone who follows me knows I'm not a fan of gore, and luckily this movie had none!

It was still pretty gruesome. Like the guy getting his face eaten by Mr. Cupcake and that one girl who got bitten in half by Freddy. But even then, all you could see was the silhouette and her lower half fall to the floor. And 90% of the other scenes you do see, but they kind of let the sounds of what's happening fill in the gaps as the camera goes somewhere else, like with Mr. Cupcake.

Even when you see their bodies later on in the parts and services, the end results of what happened earlier aren't even that bad! Tbh it's almost too dark to even see anything

I loved that! It made it perfectly fine for me to watch and not squirm uncomfortably or feel sick. It actually shocked me! Most gore just makes me roll my eyes and want to gag but this stuff literally made me say "WOAH that's MESSED UP" (enthusiastically) out loud a few times!

Also the parts with the animatronics playing with Abby.... GOD that really filled a void in me that I never knew I had... Watching them play and build a fort and be goofy... Really made me smile so hard!... Uh, as if they didn't kill a bunch of dudes earlier.... Hmm..

All the little references made me point at the screen and squeal! That MatPat cameo my goodness! It made me laugh too lol, which I was pretty surprised about! I wasn't expecting to laugh, smile and cry in a scary movie but here we are!

Every Balloon Boy jumpscare got me, because even though it was, as all those video game critics say, "a cheap spook with a loud noise" I can guarantee a lot of other people did too

AND FELLAS WE GOT IT!!! SPRINGLOCK FAILURE BABYYYYY!!!

I think I was pretty pleased with how they did the springlocks. The reveal... The way Abby said "They can see you now." As they turn to William... Their real Killer... HOT DAMNNNNN AND THEN HE SAYS THE FUCKING LINE AND PUTS ON THE HEAD JUST- CHILLS DUDE (I should probably mention how loud this movie made me btw)

And that part legitimately made my eyes water too! When they dragged him away, the music and him twitching... All I could think was "JUSTICE!"

And I love that they made William a horrible father from what we saw when he talked with Vanessa. It always irks me the wrong way when people try to portray him as a sad parent who lost his daughter and that's why he did what he did. Like- no. He wasn't okay in the head you guys, he was NOT a good father, EVER. I'm sorry but no, he literally neglected, emotionally, and possibly, physically abused his kids.

And I love what they did with characters too! I like how the movie just did its own thing that to me, felt like What fnaf REALLY is.

I never like fnaf lore as it is now. I like when the premise was simply: "guy kills kids, hides their bodies in suits, ghosts posses the animatronics, and want to take revenge but don't remember their killer, so they kill anyone they think is him." Before all that sci-fi stuff got involved. And the Movie is just that! "guy kills kids, hides their bodies in suits, ghosts posses the animatronics, and want to take revenge but don't remember their killer, so they kill anyone they think is him."!! It was awesome!

And I like how it explains that there's the possibility that while the kids posses them, they also have somewhat minds of their own. At least that's what I got from some stuff revealed. There's ways been a part of me that thought the animtronics themselves had minds of their own, so to see that it could be a possibility (in the movies canon at least) was really cool!

Also... Living tombstone fnaf 1 song :) in end credits!

And to end this off, sadly there wasn't a post credit scene sadly (unless you count that CoryxKensin getting jumpscared by the BB toy after the fancy credits)

But!!!! Did anyone else notice the fnaf 2 music box playing in the end credits? And the one noise that says the letters and stuff during the secret fnaf 2 minigames...?

I mean, Matthew did say he signed for 2 more movies... So who's to say we won't get a Fnaf 2 movie based off the evidence of what we heard there, huh? Just a little thought I decided to leave here before we end things off :)

FORGOT TO MENTION that both me and Cherri SCREAMED the lyrics for the fnaf song at the end lol,and two girls next to us started recording us lol (not in a mean way we all talked and ranted for a good 3 minutes afterward it was fun!)

[sussex-sweetheart]

Tbh though William and Kate are still in love with one another but they just aren’t people who show pda in public and that probably stems back from getting pictured all of the time in their 20s. There isn’t anything wrong with it, it’s just that they keep all of that for when there are not any cameras because at the end of the day marriage is a private thing between two people it’s not for the world to see or comment on. Another thing, if you’re a Cambridge fan and watch all of their engagements you will see how much adore each other and they’re always checking in on each other. Holding and guiding each other to where they are supposed to be and if you look at recent pictures, they are always smiling and laughing together. You all just like to pick a ‘bad’ picture out of hundreds of good ones and I suppose that if you are not a fan of them, you don’t see these moments that they have because you don’t want to and it doesn’t fit your (not you personally, as a whole) narrative

There's literally no way for you to know whether they're in love or not. Kate wants the title, as long as he has that, Kate will "love" him.

There's always an excuse. William could punch Kate in the face in public and their fans would call it foreplay.

[angeltrapz]

for the “give me a character” meme! Eric, Adam, William, Mallick, Strahm, Rigg!!!!

YESS thank u!!!!

Eric:

How I feel about this character: That's my boy!!! <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Uuuu okay. Adam, obviously, but concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Art, Lawrence, William, & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Him & Rigg!!! That's his best friend!!! + he and Gibson in the Eric Lives AU!! (Gibson IS dating his best friend + recognizes that he's made the effort to change <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: You Understand This but the idea that he's irredeemable/deserved to die is complete and utter bullshit. This post that you made perfectly describes my feelings on that!!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: Firstly that he. Y'know. Didn't die. But I would have loved to see any of his interactions with Hoffman? Obviously they knew each other + I like to think they have since they were in academy together, so there's gotta be some sort of history there, y'know?? I feel like he definitely cared about Eric so I would've been very interested to see more regarding that relationship! + one more big one: I wish he knew/was at least made aware of the fact that Daniel was ALIVE and okay. It kills me thinking abt how this man died not knowing if his child made it out.

Adam:

How I feel about this character: I loooove him he deserved better. I relate pretty heavily to him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Hehe. Lawrence obviously!! Chainshipping is a HUGE comfort ship for me. BUT! Regarding the SAW polycule: Lawrence, Eric, William, Gibson, & Mallick!! + when concerning that alternative canon continuity we've been talking abt, Strahm. But only in that circumstance lol,,

My non-romantic OTP for this character: MANDY!!! In any AU where she's either not a disciple or abandoned her apprenticeship, I firmly believe that he and Amanda would be best friends. Mean gay/lesbian solidarity siblings who would fight tooth and nail for each other + who get each other on a level that not many others can. Pamela also!! Along w Mandy I like to think they talk about their experiences being trans a lot + just bitching w each other lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character: IDK how unpopular this actually is but I 100% believe that Adam would never become a disciple in any capacity, ESP not of his own accord. I genuinely think he'd rather die. That's just not something I can see him doing in any circumstance.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish someone had gotten him out of the bathroom :( And in an AU where he lives I hope someone tells him what a bastard Zep was!! No one made that dude hold a gun to Diana's head and listen to her heartbeat what the FUCK was that!!

William:

How I feel about this character: He's such a sweetheart I love him,, <33

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Lawrence & Adam <3 in the polycule though this includes Eric & Mallick!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: He and Pamela obviously!! His sister is his best friend and they're there for each other 100%.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Much like Eric I don't think he deserved to die/that he's completely irredeemable... he fights so hard to save everyone and is utterly devastated when he can't. He's willing to hurt himself to save others (nearly dislocating his shoulders trying to keep both Addy and Allen, burning himself with the steam for Debbie, etc.) and it's like. John is always talking about how it can't be personal but it seems pretty fucking personal here!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: The fact that nobody saw how hard he fought for his coworkers + the sacrifices he made for them upsets me to no end. That was intentional. John didn't want Tara + Brent (or Pamela for that matter!) to see him as human and that fucking bothers me!! So basically I just wish that they could've seen it via camera like literally almost every trap victim gets in some capacity!!

Mallick:

How I feel about this character: Yet another character I relate to wayyy too much <33 I love him...

All the people I ship romantically with this character: BRIT!!! + concerning the SAW polycule: Adam, Eric, William, & Lawrence!! (Art maybe too,,)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like to think he and Laura would've gotten along actually? I feel like that would be a good, healthy friendship. And I do like the idea of he and Brit like this too!! Other than that maybe Mandy? I feel like they could relate to each other a little bit, help each other when they're feeling brainweird,, (Mallick n Mandy: havers of Symptoms Disorder <3)

My unpopular opinion about this character: Again I don't know if it's unpopular, persay, but uh. I don't think the Mallick we meet in V would willingly sit and listen to Bobby Dagen in 3D. He'd hate that dude. My take on it is that Brit didn't survive V (although I think read somewhere that the crew confirmed she survived?) and that's why he was there: because he'd lost the one true connection he'd made in god knows how long. That's rlly the only way I see him sitting thru Dagen's bullshit lmao.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wanted him to see Brit again,, and I just wanted to see him more in general tbh, esp because he makes a reappearance where so many prior Jigsaw survivors do not. I would've liked to see him interact with Simone given that they both lost a limb/nearly a limb (in Mallick's case). This is related to that, but I also wish the evidence of the 10 Pints trap wasn't just. A tiny scar? I HC that it took his whole hand, so.

Strahm:

How I feel about this character: Ohhh my beloved. Why didn't they give you a better narrative it would've been SO interesting. I love you though <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Honestly? Still super fond of Gibson/Strahm in a scenario where things are different,, I've written quite a bit abt them and kinda want to again but if I do it'll probably be. Not for a while + VASTLY different. but recent additions have been Hoffman (I used to. not understand Stroffman whatsoever. now I Get It) and Adam!!

My non-romantic OTP for this character: PEREZ!!! I've always thought of them as best friends since I first saw IV, and I do think he genuinely cared about her - quite a lot, actually, esp given how devastated he was when she was injured. They hang out at each other's apartments all the time + get coffee regularly. I love them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't think he's a dumbass?? I don't know if that's unpopular. I think that he's IMPULSIVE and that it gets him into trouble, but Strahm has always struck me as incredibly intelligent + has a good moral compass for the most part?? I mean, he figured out there was a second apprentice (second as far as he knows, anyway) helping with traps just by examining Kerry's crime scene. I think he's VERY smart. He just acts quickly + sometimes that means there's not much planning for if things go south. (I DO agree that showing up to the packing plant w/out backup was dumb though,, doesn't mean he DESERVED the Water Cube but y'know)

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: It's not really mentioned if he does in canon, but I wish he'd been made aware of the fact that Perez was alive,, it bothers me that he might've died not knowing she was okay. The other thing is that I wish he'd survived V!!! I think it would've been WAY more narratively satisfying for him to kinda follow in Tapp's footsteps as a vigilante Jigsaw hunter. (That's why I love yr takes on him so much!!)

Rigg:

How I feel about this character: He has such a big heart. He cares so so much. I wish ppl talked about him more :(

All the people I ship romantically with this character: Gibson!!! And uhh Hoffman, but they're exes,, but! In a scenario I'm kind of going over in my head, maaaybe Adam... the basics though is that he searches the Nerve Gas House independently and somehow finds the Bathroom following II, and He is the one to rescue Adam. Very tentative abt that one though bc I'm still working it out lol. (Possibly Eric/Adam/Rigg???)

My non-romantic OTP for this character: Eric!!! His best friend <3 I think he's also pretty close with Kerry, though I think he hangs out w her independent of Eric given,, the messy ex situation. I think he probably got along well with Fisk too!! OH and I think he and Sing would've been good friends as well. The chaos of a Rigg/Gibson/Sing friend trio...

My unpopular opinion about this character: Mmm I don't know that I have one? Other than maybe like. I understood why he went through the door. He knew Eric was on the other side; he just didn't know the circumstances or what would happen if he went through. All he knew was that he was that much closer to someone he's been trying to find/rescue for MONTHS + someone he cares for deeply. Of COURSE he went through. He breaks my heart ugh,,,

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: I wish he hadn't even been tested!!!! His one flaw was that he cared about ppl and somehow John saw that as something he needed to fix!!! Like yes I do agree that it was eating away at him and the obsession might've been unhealthy, but that's two of his closest friends dude!! I don't think he deserved to be tested for that. I don't. He just wanted to help ppl and keep them safe. I absolutely despise how Rigg was treated dkjflkdf!!!!

[kinetic-elaboration]

February 8: Mountain Lion Mean Notes

Okay, so I was writing up notes on my Troped Western fic and then I clicked something and it all disappeared! I’m very upset and I hate the idea of starting again but like... I guess that’s what I gotta do :/

Mountain Lion Mean on AO3.

Written for @troped-fanfic-challenge​

So as I said in my notes, I watched Hell or High Water on the Sunday the trope document opened and immediately became obsessed, and that was my main inspiration. I saw it and loved it and, like with most things I love, my first thought was how can I do this too?? I didn’t want to do a straight AU of it, because it’s just too good and I don’t want to mess with that kind of perfection, but I knew I wanted a similar mood. I also figured pretty early on that I would try to include a bank robbery.

For the first days after the trope doc opened, I mostly just gathered inspiration and tried to think Western thoughts. In addition to HOHW, my inspiration included:

The Western episode of Charmed

A Western Rock playlist I found on Spotify

This post of southwestern gothic aesthetics

“Ranch Girl” by Maile Meloy (also the inspiration for it is new moon and twilight, which, fun fact, was originally going to be a Western; I didn’t re-read the story but it’s been haunting me since I first read it c. 2001 and is probably a partial inspiration for everything I write)

William Faulkner (especially “A Rose for Emily” and A Light in August) for the “town POV” narration

Sigrid Undset for the floating third-person-POV

The wikipedia article on Westerns, for succinct summaries of the themes of Westerns

The original aesthetic, quoted from my notes: “The vastness of the west, the frontier, a little uncivilized, a little dangerous, tough looking men who don’t talk much, extrajudicial justice, the heat and the desert…“

By the time I sat down to brainstorm, I had a few ideas and a few images already in mind. I wanted to include a bank robbery. I liked the idea of Clarke as a gunslinger and/or purveyor of vigilante justice. I thought I might use Gina as a bartender (this was during the half-moment I thought I might write a Bartender Mechanic fic; obviously neither of these things happened). And I liked the idea of including Murphy as some kinda criminal or unsavory type. The image of Bellamy as a taciturn cowboy came fairly early too.

I was a little uncertain at first if I wanted to do an 1800s western or a neo-western, mostly because I felt like the tropes I was attracted to and the images in my head fit better in the 1800s. But ultimately I settled on neo-western pretty fast, because I thought the imagery and themes would work better in the modern day. Plus I just thought it would be easier tbqh.

My first concern was to not just re-write a shittier HOHW. I was really caught up in the logistics of the bank robbery; including too much of that would necessarily make it a copy of the film, so I tried to keep just the bare bones of the robbery + the general justification (saving the family land). Then I added additional portions of the scheme--not too difficult since I knew I wanted Gunslinger/Vigilante Clarke in there, and I needed some way to show that she takes Justice into her own hands--and additional characters. Again, most notably Clarke, but also Raven and Octavia. The characters have their own backgrounds, personalities, relationships, and motivations, all of which make the story more mine imo. I’m satisfied with the balance of Obvious HOHW Influences and original content.

At some point, I described it to my mom as “Bellamy is Toby, Murphy is Tanner, and Clarke is canon Clarke but in the modern West.” Which I still think is accurate.

Including Clarke, though, and privileging the various relationships among the trio of Bellamy, Clarke, and Murphy, made me feel like I was making an it is new moon and twilight knock off except with Clarke for Raven. I still kind of see it, tbh, in the sense that twilight was itself supposed to be a western--I think it would be fair to say that Mountain Lion Mean IS the fic I set out to write in February 2020--and in the sense that I could have written a different story in the same universe as Mountain Lion Mean that explored the Clarke, Murphy, and Bellamy relationships in a way that is similar to twilight. As is, a lot of that is unsaid and unseen. The two fics have different focuses, so it’s probably only apparent to me just how similar they are. Just like, to me, Mad Women and The Wanheda Tape are the same story even though they have very different aesthetics and plots.

Some excerpts from my notes that I think are fun:

I really want to work with the themes (haha themes) of frontier justice and also the sense that the west is infinite but also small, that nature is hard and impossible to wrangle but that the opportunities are narrow and it’s easy to get trapped in it, the melancholy nature of it, the dichotomy of nature (huge, powerful) versus man (small, struggling against nature and against man). Or some such. Or Murphy just robs banks.

Bellamy owns a struggling ranch. Clarke is a gunslinger (don’t really know if I can use this trope in the current day but possibly?) who doesn’t trust the law. Has a conceal[ed]-carry permit. Is the best shot in three counties. Murphy’s been in and out of prison most of his adult life, mostly for crimes like robbery and assault.

How do they know each other? Possibilities: Murphy knows Bellamy through Octavia (idk why…but I do feel like O should appear, riding a horse) (background Octaven? Just a thought), Bellarke are exes, Murphy used to work on the ranch. Clarke has killed someone (someone Bad) and gotten away with it.

I do like the focus being on these three characters, who have a long history but aren’t currently close, coming together for a mission (to rob a bank) for the benefit of one who is struggling (Bellamy) even thought this is an awful lot like both Hell or High Water and it is new moon and twilight lmao.

I like that mood from HOHW where actually Toby was the most dangerous, and the smartest, and he won—the idea that Bellamy is the taciturn cowboy who’s not good at sharing his feelings but he’s also the mastermind in the end. Is that the twist? You get the impression Vigilante Gunslinger Griffin and Actual Ex-Con Murphy are planning something, but then it turns out to be Bellamy who executes the plan? [Not quite how it turned out lol in that I think it’s decently obvious that Bellamy was a major part of it the whole time but I did try to get some of this in with Octavia in the final scene--to really drive home Bellamy’s importance, as the ring leader, since otherwise one could ask, what does he even do?]

Midway through the planning process I came up with some more images to work from:

B and C out at dusk on the ranch, she’s shooting can, a bit of UST perhaps

M shows up at the bar and there’s an awkward silent entrance—perhaps he’s just out of prison

Murphy or Clarke guns akimbo [I picked Clarke to emphasize that she’s the gunslinger, but I had Murphy shoot out the security cameras to show that they were using his robbery experience]

Bellamy being silent and awkward

At this point, it was just about putting all the pieces together. That’s how I tend to plan Troped fics: I lay out all the pieces I need or want to include and then I figure out the shortest and most efficient distances between them. For example, I knew I needed a bank robbery and for Clarke to administer some vigilante justice--so I use that justice as a way to launder the money. They fake a will for her victim and “give” the money to themselves.

I did worry, and still worry, about the timeline re: the Bellarke marriage and the will because I’m quite sure it doesn’t make sense and doesn’t work. But it also... it doesn’t keep me up at night because the whole point is that it’s a scam!! Worrying about legality in a scam is sorta... lol. What I mean specifically is that I wanted it to be clear that Clarke does not kill Kane FOR this scheme. They use something she already did to their advantage. So she and Bellamy can’t be married at the time Kane is killed. That implies the murder was pre-meditated for the bank robbing purpose. But I’m also fairly sure (and I should know this because I took T&E but like...honestly can’t remember) that the people in the will are counted at the time of death, not the time of probate, or you could like... adopt extra kids or marry or divorce someone to affect the will. Plus all that stuff about simultaneous death etc. etc. Also, on a practical level, if Clarke wasn’t married, Kane wouldn’t have an obvious reason to write her spouse into the will. But I get away with this in my head by saying, first, no one’s going to say the husband that’s standing right there doesn’t count as a husband--the law is the law but it’s implemented by people and they fudge corners all the time. They do what seems to make sense even if you’d lose points for it on a law school exam. And second, the will could have been written with the assumption or hope that Clare would marry. Possibly even, though I don’t say this in the fic exactly, on the condition of marriage--Clarke gets 100% to share 50-50 with her husband if she’s married, 0% if she’s not. Doesn’t really matter. It’s supposed to read as outwardly clever and create Mystery and play with the Exes Aesthetic even if it doesn’t hold up the strictest scrutiny. (JDs don’t @ me.)

I justified including the marriage as a necessity because Kane could possibly leave money to Clarke’s husband but he wouldn’t leave money to some rando. I do stand by that part.

I also decided at some point that I wanted to include Background Octaven but be really subtle about it so it was something else the reader would have to piece together: that Raven has a girlfriend, then that Octavia has a girlfriend but, hey, isn’t Raven a bartender?--and then it comes together in the last scene as we see that their relationship was factored into Bellamy’s plan all along: some of the loot goes directly to Octavia and her partner, officially as payment for Raven’s services, unofficially because Bellamy wants to give O a gift. Anyway. Either it was too obvious or too subtle/boring because no one mentioned it but I thought it was cool lol.

At this point in my planning I basically had everything I needed, so I wrote a quick outline of scenes, as I always do, to see how it would flow scene to scene and if I had a place to put all the necessary plot info. I also ended up doing “what I need from this scene” lists for each scene so that I knew what I had to have on my mind to include before I sat down to write each one.

The actual writing was done over 3 days and fairly easily and quickly. I had a lot of fun not just with planning but with the actual process of creation. I think it’s because I was just honestly excited to be in this universe and play with this aesthetic.

Not to blow my own horn here but some parts that I was particularly pleased with were:

“Arkadia hasn’t seen a drop of rain in thirty-two days. The asphalt on the highway shimmers with heat; the air crackles with heat; the heat rises, stifling and strong, from the parched dirt and the cracks in the pavement.” Like I’m sorry but that’s a good image, I like that a lot. Whenever I felt discouraged, I just read that again and felt better.

The description of past Bellarke because boy howdy do I not care to write romance anymore but that was fun. I thought it was hot.

Transitioning Murphy laughing until the coyotes can hear into Bellamy hearing coyotes at night into Bellamy still hearing them during the day. I don’t know if it worked quite like I wanted to but in my head that is a very Cinematic transition, okay? I also like that even though Clarke and Murphy aren’t literally riding off together in that scene, for the reader, they are leaving the narrative never to be seen again. So they get their Dramatic Exit.

Octavia’s explication of the Theme and Bellamy’s possible motivations. I’m pretty proud of myself for actually having a theme and I think I did a good job of explaining it without being too heavy-handed. I also think it was perhaps risky to end with the POV of Octavia, a character who’s barely been in the fic before the last scene, but ultimately that decision felt right to me and I think it had a good flow, a nice mellow exit from the narrative.

What I didn’t like as much was a lot of the first scene. I think it has some great bits but it was the most re-worked part of the fic, and there are still some paragraphs and phrases that I feel are a little stiff. For example, this is a paragraph that I cut entirely:

Diyoza was sure the Griffin daughter did the deed back in January and she's sure about it still. She even gives a quote to the Sun-Times about it, despite her troubles with Green. But she had no proof then, not even a body to justify a murder charge, and she has little proof now. So no one believes the investigation will come to anything.

As you can see, it gives no new information. There were other sentences and phrases that weren’t doing work but were interrupting the flow, which also got cut, but I’m still not sure that the flow is perfect in the final version.

Also displeased that I edited out a * from the version on AO3, thus letting two scenes run together. How embarrassing!!! It’s fixed now though.

Overall though I’m so pleased! I love this fic and I love that I can love things again. This year has already been so hard, just like being battered again and again by waves of a storm, and it’s only 5 weeks in but this experience was so unabashedly good and I’m so grateful for it.

[whenrockwasyoung19]

Thoughts after the Golden Globes -Elton and Bernie just carved out a path to Oscar gold. I think Bernie stating that this is the first award they won together will excite awards voters and will probably get them the win. 

-now that Think I’m Gonna Love Me Again is a lock for a nomination, we’re going to get to see Taron sing with Elton on the Oscars stage 

-After a hostless Oscars last year and a hostless Emmy’s this year, Ricky reminded me why we need a host. Funny or offensive, he was able to give the show momentum and maintain it. Without a host, the start of the show feels awkward and slow. 

-Ricky wasn’t as mean as I thought he was going to be. He largely avoided picking on the people in the room which was a change for him. I think that either better as it wasn’t as uncomfortable.

-Ricky will be back. I’d bet on it. He just has too much fun making people squirm. -lots of politics but that’s not too surprising. My favorite political moments were Michelle Williams speech and Russell Crowe’s message. 

-Brad Pitt ending his speech telling people to be kind was the kind of positive messaging I like. 

-Tom Hanks should teach a master class or just straight up a film class. The man knows his techniques. 

-Ellen’s speech was perfect. I do think it’s amazing that the second person to win the Carol Burnett Award is a queer woman. 

-Ellen talking about her “husband Mark” and her “two kids” had me dying. But I also like that she added that “the reason y’all are laughing is because you know me so well”, and that’s so true. 

-The fashion was just ok. I thought most people looked pretty but few were really trying to turn a look. I did think Saorsie Ronan looked fire and Renee Zellwigger had such a simple but divine look. Of course the fashion moment of the night was Billy Porter. 

-Every time the camera cut to the Elton table, I looked for Taron, but he was often blocked, not in frame, or missing. 

-Taron going ape when Elton won was so adorable and sweet. He really is a loyal friend and great cheerleader to his mates.

-Elton and Bernie’s acceptance speech was very nice. I thought giving a shoutout to Taron was lovely. When the camera pointed to him I got so excited. 

-I forgot to mention that Elton also turned a look. The embroidery on the jacket, the puffy sleeves, the big broach, it was simple but elegant and a little bold. It felt authentically Elton. I also thought David looked very dapper. I think the embroidery on his suit was gorgeous. They were probably the best dressed couple of the night tbh. 

-Elton and Bernie getting a standing ovation just to introduce a clip shows what legends they are.

-Leo looked happy for Taron, so I’m guessing there will be no sad Leo memes.

-Roman Griffin Davis looked happy for Taron as well, and I was relieved because you gotta feel bad when a young kid loses like that, and you just hope they’re not crushed, but he seemed happy, so I’m relieved. 

-Word is that Roman Griffin Davis’s suit was inspired by Eggy’s suit in Kingsman Golden Circle. I’m not sure if that’s totally true, but if so that’s awesome! If so, it must’ve been awesome for him to get a special shoutout from Eggsy himself. Also, he had a fashion moment himself. Like that suit was perfectly tailored. He honestly took more of a fashion risk at 10 years old than 90% of the people in that room, and I’ve got to respect that. 

-Okay, I’ve held back long enough; it’s time to talk about Taron. 

-So, TARON WON A FREAKING GOLDEN GLOBE! I was so worried it wasn’t going to happen. I was literally on edge the whole night, and when the announcer said the award for best actor in a musical/comedy was coming up, I was so freaking nervous. Literally, when Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson started their presentation, my heart was racing. I couldn’t even stay on the couch. I had to crouch on the floor, because I was so anxious. And when they said the nominees, and they said Eddie Murphy’s name, I was like THIS IS IT WHO LIVES OR DIES WHO TELLS OUR STORY. Then, there was that little pause before Chris Evans read the name. Every time I’m anticipating an award, when the presenter does that little pause, in my head I’ll say the person who I want to win/think will win and try to will it into existence. This time, I was like “taron egerton” in my little brain thinking that Chris was about to say Eddie Murphy. Then, I heard a “tar” and I lost my shit. At this point, I am sitting on my living room floor inches from the TV. I screamed so loud, and started applauding. I was so freaking excited. But there was definitely this weird feeling of disbelief in my brain. I had so readied myself for him to lose that I couldn’t even process the fact that he’d won. So, when it panned to him, it was like this weird reassurance that yes, Taron in fact won. So, watching him approach the stage looking flabbergasted, I was so just excited and emotional. But it didn’t really hit me that Taron had just one a Golden Globe until he was standing on stage holding the award and starting his acceptance speech. That’s when I let out a second even louder scream. And then, the more it sank in that he actually won (and that everything I hoped this night would be had come to fruition) I burst into tears. I literally sat on my living room floor crying over this man who I didn’t even really know anything about a year ago. It was so surreal but in the best way. I could not have been more excited for him. 

-Taron’s speech was PHENOMENAL. A commentator from Gold Derby, in their post-show recap, declared it one of the best speeches of the night, and like yeah it totally was. His speech was humble, gracious, and just the right amount of sweet. He came off as so surprised, overwhelmed, and overjoyed to win. It was so refreshing after a night where so many people who won seemed like they totally expected it and weren’t all that floored by it. So, to have Taron go up there, his voice all shaky, be totally blown away felt all the more genuine and even needed. He did the typical thing of acknowledging the other people in his category. I thought he had some kind words for the others. I also thought it was so sweet to give a special shoutout to Roman. It was so sweet. I also think it’s amazing that he managed to thank just about every person he was obligated to thank (except for poor Emily, but we’ll let that slide). He thanked his costars, Dexter, Giles Martin, the producers, his team, and the team at Paramount and managed to have something nice to say about most of them. And of course, he gave a very special shoutout to Elton and Bernie. I thought his message to Elton was touching and sweet. Again, he came off as so gracious and humble. Lastly, he gave a special thank you to his mom (which was so lovely). I think the fact that he managed to thank everyone and to do so with such genuine gratitude made it one of the best speeches. It was the type of speech that reminds you why we have to sit through these speeches. 

-It shouldn’t surprise any of us that Taron is amazing at award show speeches. The guy is made of gratitude and humility, so the fact that he showed that off in his little moment shouldn’t be surprising, but yet I was still floored by it. It was just that good. 

-Not to go all cynical analyst or anything, but a speech like that can push him further in the Oscar race. Oscar voters love a good speech, so simply having a memorable speech that people get behind is already a big plus. But also, I think the fact that his speech was so gracious and humble also helps. Oscar voters love a bit of humility and gratitude. So, I think that can carry him far. In fact, I believe his attitude has already carried him quite far in this business along with his talent. But I digress. 

-What I did not anticipate when I conceived of our boy winning was just how much post-show content we were going to get. Last night, I stayed up till all hours looking at the interviews from a variety of big entertainment outlets. It was amazing to see Taron so overjoyed and thankful. I could tell before the awards that he was a little nervous (I’ll get to that in a bit), so it was great to see him so happy and elated. 

-Bringing his sisters along to the Hollywood Reporter interview was adorable. If you didn’t see it, Taron held Mari while Rosie stood at his side holding his Globe during the interview. They were being so polite and so shy; it was cute. Plus, he gave them each a little kiss towards the end of the interview. So precious. 

-My god he did a lot of interviews in a short time span. He somehow had momentum through a marathon of interviews.

[blackhyena]

Quarantine Survey 😷👽💌🐛🦋

Thank you @bironism !! I hope you’re holding up okay darling!!!

~Where are you isolated? (Country or city too if you like)

At home with my parents! Luckily we all get on pretty well and tbh in a time of crisis they probably are the best company. Plus, there’s cats, and a nice big garden, so those are definitely a massive plus!!!

~What are you currently reading or watching?

I’m trying to get through Queer Eye rn but it’s become a little repetitive so I’m giving it a rest. I’m reading some Alisdair Gray, which is so alien to me in terms of style but my work friend reccomended it and i’m actually really impressed, it’s one of the most intriguing novel formats i’ve ever seen! I’m also reading Dante’s Divine Comedy because I want to write something partially based on it. 

~If you can go outside, what do you like to do during this time?

Oh I love reading outside, and I’ve been helping mum pot some little seedlings that are just now starting to sprout. My dad’s got a camera inside a nesting box too so we can see the birds start to set up for when they have babies!

~Any fascinating concept you’re studying?

More PhD stuff! I’m starting a new chapter all about Liverpool and LUCKILY most of the material is available remotely. I’ve been reading the poetry of Felicia Hemans, William Roscoe and Edward Rushton - all of them are really interesting, particularly Rushton. He and Roscoe are abolitionist poets, and Rushton travelled to the West Indies and contracted an eye infection on the way there that partially blinded him, and was not cured for decades until after he had married and had children!

~What kinds of acts of creativity/forms of art are you currently doing?

SO, I’m doing a poem every day this month and god that is so difficult lmao, particularly when I don’t have a lot of different stimuli at the moment. I’m posting them on my instagram story, and it definitely helps me keep up a hobby I often feel I lack the focus and time to really work on usually! Plus I’m trying to design a series of dresses from different decades of history and that’s really fun. 

~A song/s that resonates with your state of mind at the moment?

Probably Cyber Stockholm Syndrome by Rina Sawayama.... i do feel like im depending so much on internet interactions for my sanity rn

~Favourite impulsive/’bad’ coping techniques?

Uh, sleeping in really late and just not getting off the same sofa for the entire day? Having an insane amount of screentime? Getting loads of tinder matches I can’t meet and not bothering to message them? Take your pick!

I tag @beau--brummell, @wampiry, @goblinmarquess, @percvshelley, @ceolfriths and @halfsavages!!!!! i love you guys i hope you’re all okay!!!!

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

Old glee spoof liveblogs

Yuè [glee spoof 4] so yeah i decided to watch all of simgm's glee stuff (glee spoof, glee minisodes, gleedo) and i am at spoof 4

Yuè Oh this one has no captions Yuè MICHAEL IS HERE!!!! Yuè "THE FUCKING AUDITORIUM FINN" Yuè I've been singing the Obsession with Finn song at the top of.mylungs today cause what a jam Yuè IT IS MY BOY BLAAAAAAAAINE Yuè there were a lot of guest stars Yuè GO EMMA Yuè TATER TOTS Yuè "Nice mugshot Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 5] time for rachel's nose job

Yuè ah.. no captions Yuè "but we'll pretend that never happened cause we're good at doing that with storylines" Yuè YOOO WILLIAM IS HERE FOR SAM Yuè AND ALSO SCOTT (I think that was the name of the actor before Kyle) AS PUCK Yuè glee did Wannabe in an episode but it wasn't the same because Brother's riffs weren't in there Yuè "is that all you ever do?" TRUTH Yuè I love it when Hemo smiles in the background Yuè thanks Emma for slamming Will and his "teaching" Yuè "what in the fuckity fuck fuck was that shit??" Yuè nickname one: lemon drop Yuè I love this part Yuè "where did that piano come from?" Yuè SORRY SIMGM BUT CHECK PLEASE JUST GOT UPDATED I NEED T READ IT Yuè okay okay I am going to continue cause it hasn't blown up yet so I can't blog about omgcp yet Yuè I don't like Santana faking the sexual harassment claim tho Yuè ZOOMBA Yuè thanks simgm for pointing out the double standards between male and female characters Yuè "a sad attempt of giving me a storyline" Yuè damm Sister did great job on the performances Yuè "Nice choir Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 6] WHERE'S MA CROWN? Yuè "isn't that what you did" "yeah but.. I'm Finn" Yuè "THAT'S WHY YOU BETTER ROLL" Yuè "I can't believe we're stupid enough to believe that" Yuè "wow... misjudged that one" Yuè thanks simgm for pointing out so many plot holes Yuè "you can't fight the power of Brittana" Yuè I FORGOT ABOUT JESSE FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS Yuè I can't believe Michael did Jesse and Kurt's voice Yuè *voices Yuè YES YES YES THE BLAINE SONG IS STILL MY JAM WHY ISN'T IT ON THEIR SPOTIFY? ?? Yuè "yeah if you're gonna fight at least hit each other" Yuè THIS S.MY FAVORITE PART OF ALL OF GLEE SPOOFS GO FOR IT KURT Yuè nickname two: sugary plumb pie Yuè THIS ENTIRE EPISODE IS WONDERFUL Yuè "ONE MORE TIME" Yuè "Nice poem Mercedes"

Yuè [glee spoof 7] This is over 30 minutes long that's what I call dedication

Yuè " half of the stuff that happens to us makes no damn sense" Yuè I still can't believe Boss built the entire New York set herself Yuè "I HAVE BIG PLANS" fuuuuck I should wear my I have big plans t-shirt Yuè well Quinn.. Cats is back on Broadway now aka Rachel was just 6 years early Yuè "it's no time for logic Kurt" Yuè SAVE THE HORSES Yuè "I regret nothing" I love the glee spoof Artie Yuè I just love the entire glee spoof Yuè "I HAVE BIG PLANS" Yuè I am just in constant amazement of the New York set Yuè I'm now wearing the Big Plans t-shirt just around the time Quinn goes crazy about her big plans Yuè Oh god after six years I finally get the "Bootay" thing Yuè "well this could've been a lo-" Yuè "shut the fuck up Finn" Yuè I remember Boss saying Michael worked really hard on the song Yuè Boss sounds so much like Lea it's unreal maybe Boss should be on Elsie Fest this year Yuè why doesn't the Sims 4 have spiral staircases yet? Yuè "you know you're probably gonna change your mind by the end of the episode, right?" Yuè "PLANS! Big ones!" Yuè "Okay first of all: breath mints. You needs on" Yuè Brittany is the only sane one here Yuè quite frankly. . Sunshine beating Rachel up is more believable than Rachel's sudden change of heart Yuè "I'm Finn" Yuè "that might change by the end of the episode though" true true true Yuè SMACK THAT Yuè I like this song more than Pretending but honestly I just really don't like Pretending Yuè there's so many great music in this episode Yuè I actually used to have Simgm music on my phone including this song Yuè the part with Santana and Rachel is my favourite Yuè nickname 3: pancakes Yuè nickname 4: gingerbread dough sprinkled lightly toasted graham cracker bunny" Yuè "who got tad more songs than me" "WHAT?" Yuè aaaah my Brittana shipping heart Yuè "NOW MARCH MOTHERFUCKER" Yuè "oh and. ... Tater tots" Yuè woah Brianna voiced both Terri and Sunshine?

Yuè [glee spoof 8] (Jim Cantiello voice) SEASON 3. The season where we appreciate Tina.

Yuè JUDGING YOU WRITERS Yuè "I don't have any (smile)" Yuè "We appreciate you!" Yuè "cinnamon toast" "Finn!" Yuè nickname 5: Pop Tart Yuè honestly Blaine should've just fucked stayed at Dalton Yuè what happened to Dianna's dog? Yuè "... than Kurt dropped Mercedes" oH SHIT Yuè THIS IS THE START OF UNICORN Yuè nickname 6: Candy Cane Yuè GOD BLESS THE BLAINE SONG AND BOSS'S BROTHER'S VOICE Yuè "I didn't do it" Yuè ah the angry student is back Yuè Oh wait is this where Jordan started voicing Sue? Yuè "Because they don't know what else to do with my character" Yuè good thing that glee spoof continues the hair jokes Yuè "We appreciate you!" Yuè this song was also on my phone Yuè I think I had Breakout, Tonight, Blaine song, Faith, Gotta Be Love With You and another one on my phone Yuè OH THE CELL BLOCK TANGO Yuè watching this really makes me want to play the Sims 2 again but... I have a storyline on the Sims 4 aka a fifth generation family Yuè QUINN FALLING GETS ME EVERY TIME Yuè name of Beth 1: Carol Yuè "holy crap I can't believe I'm actually saying meaningful lines" Yuè nadiacreek actually made a ranking of parents in glee and she put Shelby on it twice Yuè good for Beth and bad for Rachel Yuè "IHBBP. I have big baby plans!" Yuè "Damn, you Brittana"

Yuè [glee spoof 9] and we appreciate Tina Yuè Oh I love this song Yuè "Asian" "Asian F" "stereotype" "stop doing glee club" "no" "I'm glad we talked this out" Yuè BRITT IN A MONKEY SUIT Yuè name of Beth 2 and 3: Susan, Mary Yuè name of Beth 4: Jessica Yuè THEY SAY THAT LIFE IS TATER TOT AR R Y OU FOR REAL?? Yuè RORY UM IRISH Yuè I love the cast list Yuè and I also love Mercedes's riffs Yuè was Nathan actually Irish? I don't think do cause he was in one of those chats Yuè "I was told you are too" True Yuè "We apprecia-" "Shut the fuck up" Yuè "COURAGE" Yuè I actually wanted the courage t-shirt before I got the I have big plans one Yuè Oh man I miss the old crack days of jokes of Finn telling Blainers to sit down Yuè AND THERE IS BRIANNA AS SUGAR MOTTA Yuè "what the f-" Yuè "H-" "stop you're embarrassing yourself" Yuè I LOVE THAT FINN SMILE Yuè "Told you"

Yuè [glee spoof 10] that time a parody handled Santana's coming out story better than the actual show

Yuè I love the warning Yuè "I've been working in keeping my eyebrows still" Yuè "I think I'll go wax my lasagna" is one of my favourite lines ever Yuè OH B OY SEBASTIAN Yuè nickname 7???: snuggle toes Yuè a background sim is wearing a fez I love it Yuè FUCKING HELL THE VEGAN THING Yuè "Tina what the fuck" "Bitch" Yuè Y'ALL IT IS TIME FOR THE CELL BLOCK TANGO THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE Yuè also who the hell did these sometimes inaccurate captions? Yuè kudos to Boss for all these dialogues Yuè "Found out he couldn't handle BIG PLANS" Yuè damm I'm still in awe bc f the Cell Block Tango Yuè "we're here to save Rachel's virginity" Yuè nickname 8: Watermelon Lips Yuè KLAINE DID WATERMELON BEFORE IT WAS COOL Yuè I've drawn so many Stop the violence things Yuè Lauren is creepin Yuè GO SIMGM GO SIMGM GO SIMGM YES YES YES THANKS FOR THIS SCENE Yuè I love the big camera and also them saying the storyline is stupid Yuè also we needed more of Brittany supporting Santana during this come on fuck off glee Yuè I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN ABUT TIS SONG Yuè Quinn is just smiling while Santana is beating the living shit out of Finn Yuè "Can't say I didn't warn you" Yuè FINN SINGING WHILE DRUNK AND NAKED IS MY FAVE Hannah sebbbbb Yuè Hannah: did you watch simgm ????????

Yuè [glee spoof 11] time for simgm to do it right

Yuè it is true tho bc Santana suddenly got suspended for violence and I'm like... FIGGINS HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THESE KIDS DO ON A DAILY BASIS? Yuè Man the actual episode was such bullshit Yuè "then we're all in the wrong club" Yuè Brittany saying the truth Yuè the entire Quick storyline is so weird Yuè "CHEESEBURGER" Yuè tbh this song is as boring as the song they actually sung on glee so congrats simgm Yuè I'll never get why Santana was so offended by Klaine singing Perfect to her in support bc they know how hard it is in a straight world Yuè whereas the straight dude who outed her sang a boring ass unnecessary song and Santana was crying because she was so ///moved/// Yuè "unions and ass????" Yuè nickname 9: Dolphin Nose? Yuè "I'M KURT BITCH" Yuè Brittana should've sung in the actual glee sigh glee this was such a disappointment Yuè BRITTANA DANCING THE SMUSSLE Yuè honestly suspending Rachel was the best that could have happened because it gave us a killer Rachel free setlist Yuè "Do you people know math???" Yuè "Not completely. I have big plans" "there she goes again" Yuè ZISES Yuè "and clap like a seal" Yuè "It's random and out of character" Yuè glee and its writers suck at romance Yuè "QUINN HEEL" Yuè THIS IS THE SONG THAT WAS ALSO ON MY PHONE Yuè "I can still remember when I was 18. and here I am at 17, a woman"

Yuè [glee spoof 12] there weren't any songs in it

Yuè NVM I WAS WATCHING EPISODE 13 THERE ARE SONGS IN EP 12 Yuè "oh you know me and my big plans" Yuè "we hold hands, ran into Kurt and Blaine, and I moved two weeks later" Yuè unfortunately the old channel doesn't have captions Yuè "allow me to show you my excitement. ..... " I actually use that quote in real life Yuè why can't Shue do anything by himself Yuè "it always freaks me out when he decides to actually teach" Yuè I love these moments Yuè "my cat will eat you alive" Yuè I just remember how uncomfortable it was to watch Finchel suck face on glee like they didn't even look like loving kisses it was full open mouth on open mouth and making out Yuè "you would know all about announcing things wouldn't you" Yuè I also liked this song Yuè "no I only do that in cars" Yuè nickname 10: chocolate turle Yuè *turtle Yuè to quote Darren Criss: "it's cool I'm back" Yuè after taking a break to help dad wth dinner I'm gonna end this episode Yuè Oh the slushie Yuè "do my eyebrows look okay?" Yuè "that building was already on fire when I got there" Yuè "what happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom" Yuè "aren't we supposed to be rehearsing" "DO WE EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THAT?" Yuè GAY PIRATE Yuè "oh wow we actually accomplished something" I love Quinn s snark in these spoofs Yuè so much snark Yuè "oh sh-" Yuè WAIT JORDAN ALSO VOICED GRANT?

Yuè [glee spoof 13] Finn doesn't know how to wash his balls

Yuè really.. Will and Emma suck at their jobs Yuè BLACK SUE Yuè "by the way I'm having a baby" Yuè Mercedes was actually the only one in canon that handled differently when she cheated Yuè "where do I sign to get you fired?" Yuè there were no songs in this ep... Yuè Oh yeah Boss voiced Sugar cause Brianna was ill Yuè poor Puck Yuè ZISES Yuè "sure let's go with that" Yuè "okay who the fuck is this guy?" Quinn once again spilling the truth Yuè "FINN YOU SON OF A-" Yuè "my girlfriend my girlfriend politics and Latino Brittany is my girlfriend equal rights if I wanna kiss my girlfriend I can rainbow flag" Yuè nickname 11: crayola monkey Yuè wait isn't this Scott's last episode?

Yuè [glee spoof 14] what a nice episode title

Yuè "I'm sorry we don't speak bitch" Yuè "and you make a two dollar hoe look classy" Yuè Sam is wearing simgm merch Yuè "I don't here Finchel when Finchel speaks" same Yuè respect for simgm to not make fun of the suicide storyline Yuè I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE TEY PUT A STARKID REFERENCE IN HETR Yuè "MY CAT IS PART OF THE CIA" Yuè in which the girls are fucking sensible Yuè I love the glee version of No Scrub but man what a jam is this Yuè "you suck at motivational speeches" Yuè "do you feel the 'I don't give a fuck' I'm throwing in your direction" Yuè I ASKED FOR DEVELOPMENT AND THEY GAVE ME A WHEELCHAIR Yuè "I have-" "give it a rest Quinn" Yuè "he didn't call me a nickname today" "OH SHIT SON" Yuè "since five seconds ago" Yuè THESE PARTS BETWEEN SIBLING OH GOD Yuè damn Quinn is being inspirational Yuè duck bless this song Yuè AH BRITT Yuè "If there was a chair to kick right now I would" Yuè well well well simgm Yuè nice song

Yuè [glee spoof 15] at this point Boss and Co were so done they put 4 episodes in one spoof

Yuè True about Damian and the glee project thing Yuè waot there are no captions Yuè Mr Schue is such a dick Yuè ah... Quinn's face Yuè for real tho in 4 eps Santana changed her opinion on college too many times Yuè "this got disturbing really fast" Yuè UNIQUE Yuè "knock knock" "who's there?" "go away" Yuè THE WAY RACHEL'S FACE JUST FELL Yuè ZISES IS IN THE CHOIR ROOM Yuè the Quoe boner thing was so gross Yuè I also use "and I wanna go to college" in real life to basically say WTF Yuè fuck Chandler Yuè Oh jesus Yuè btw welcome Kyle to the cast Yuè "I can do that now. I see you're dressed as Lea Michele today" Yuè SANTANA VISION Yuè "dinosaurs" "shut the fuck up Mike"

Yuè [glee spoof 16] this is the end

Yuè throwback to the first ep Yuè Rachel is a selfish as Yuè *ass Yuè and Tina is right Yuè THE BODY SWAP Yuè nickname 12 kinda: winky fairy Yuè ahhh I'm getting all emotional Yuè TATER TOOOOOOOOOOOOTS Yuè another throwback because they're all wearing the outfits they wore in the first spoof Yuè "good luck with that" Yuè EVEN ZISES WAS HERE Yuè the unicorn magic!! Yuè "my big plans are-" (title song) Yuè ... and it's over AGAIN

Yuè [glee spoof minisodes and others]

Yuè mini 1Glee Spoof Minisode 1 | Kurt's Problem with Blaine Yuè this is the video that led me to Simgm because of Michael's awesome voice work Yuè nickname 1: cutiepiedumplingsugartwinkledove Yuè I love that nickname Yuè nickname 2: kurtsie wurtsie Yuè mini 2Glee Spoof Minisode 2 | Santana Exposes All Yuè TATER TOTS YEAAAAAH Yuè "Penises and Winecoolers: a dangerous combination" Yuè "you've been a bad girl Santana" oh lord Yuè mini 3Glee Spoof Minisode 3 | Fondue for Two Yuè wait Yuè this isn't minisode 3 Yuè this is the other Fondue for Two mini Yuè okay in other words minisode 3 has disappeared so let's just move to Yuè mini 4Glee Spoof Minisode 4 |The Glee Cast Discover the Gl... Yuè this s where it gets real Yuè "SAVE THE HORSES" Yuè this is the first time the actual sim "actors" were in a video Yuè "am I really that tall?" "YES!" Yuè mini 5Glee Spoof Minisode 5 | Quinn's Summer Before Senior... Yuè I actually ripped the audio off of this one and put it on my phone so that I could listen t it Yuè "you have too many messages fr me to count" Yuè "BLAINE HOW MANY TMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO SING DURING-" Yuè quinn's face when Finn tries to order a pizza Yuè "..." "that must've been Tina leaving a message" Yuè mini 6Glee Spoof Minisode 6 | The Glee Club Gets Tested Yuè "you know I'm gonna flunk" Yuè Oh Santana Yuè "cow ass no. 5?" Yuè "you're all fucking crazy" "we didn't need a test to tell us that" Yuè mini 7 for realGlee Spoof Minisode 7 | Fondue for Two Part 2 Yuè "do you enjoy being a lesbian?" Yuè nickname 3: puffy-bear Yuè again.. oh Santana Yuè "you do like tossing things" "yeah like..." "my girlfriend out of the closet" Yuè mini 8Glee Spoof Minisode 8 | Brainstorming with the Creat... Yuè RIB is at it again Yuè "is Obama available?" if only Yuè Ian does no shit Yuè hey it's a Zises Yuè I love the Sim cast Yuè "what the fuck did I just read" after the IKAG script is gold Yuè mini 9Glee Spoof Minisode 9 | The Glee Cast Auditions Yuè Sim cast is back wohoo Yuè "my name is-" "you've got the part" Yuè "no way that's HELLA cool!" Yuè mini 10Glee Spoof Minisode 10 | To Catch a Pedo Will Yuè you know that's also HELLA cool? Yuè more of Brianna as sugar Yuè "Because my boyfriend is super awesome" Yuè Sue knocking Schue down always gets me Yuè mini 11Glee Spoof Minisode 11 | Favorite Moments Yuè TIME FOR SENTIMENT Yuè I agree with Michael. "Where's ma crown?" is my favourite part as well Yuè the Christmas crap festGlee Spoof Christmas Special | Holly Jolly Crap Fest Yuè honestly I haven't seen this one in ages Yuè "this Irish dude" Yuè "????????????????" Yuè this was very weird tbh Yuè they never released that song Yuè comic conGlee Cast Comic Con Spoof Yuè I thought it was very cool that actual viewers could send in audio questions Yuè fucking mcgustin Yuè never forget mcgustin Yuè save horses and coffee 2k17 Yuè Oh shit Lea's laugh Yuè LEA Yuè go for it Darren Yuè sneak peek Behind the Scenes of Glee Spoofs Yuè this is like one minute long but it points out so many glee flaws it's hilarious Yuè "I asked for development and they gave me a wheelchair" Yuè btw I am watching all the little glee spoofs and other bts stuff but I'm not gonna live blog them

[phychotic-love-hetalia]

REQUEST: Yandere!FACE family headcanons

France (Francis Bonnefoy):

- Romantic boy is romantic.

- When he realizes he loves his (soon to be) S/O, romantic boy gets real fuckin romantic

- Like many other yanderes, he also likes to leave gifts and notes for his love.

- HOWEVER, whenever he just so happens to see them, he has deep red roses for them.

- (He "just so happens" to see them because he fucking stalks them)

- Let's be real he's shit at stalking, so he'll probably get caught pretty easily.

- However once he is caught, he's terrifyingly quick to fix himself up. Like, they'll most likely not be able to see him after he's fixed his methods.

- HE DOESN'T WANT TO HURT THEM. - he uses chloroform to knock them out and bring them home with him because it isn't physically painful.

- He tries to make their room as comfy as possible for a hostage. It does have a lot of locks and no windows, but it does have a full sized bed with a soft mattress, sheets, pillows, as well as activities for them to do that he's noticed they liked- that don't require/involve outside communications.

- He'll shower them with only good things-- sweets he made himself, gifts he knows they'll like, etc etc.

- He's also quite gullible though. They can pretend to have warmed up after a reasonable time and he'd gladly let them roam the house. He has a few cameras set up.

- However he still locks them up in their room at night or if he's left the house, just in case. - He's patient when it comes down to sexual things. Like, VERY patient.

- He's more into manipulation than anything for punishments.

- Just because he does this, doesn't mean he's not disgusted with himself. Love is supposed to be happy, romantic and full of memorable adventures.

- Hell, there will be days where he just lays down with them, holds them close and lets them know how much he loves them.

- With that they'll most likely develop stockholm syndrome.

America (Alfred F. Jones)

- he's more of a "love at first sight" kinda guy. If he sees someone with... unique aspects to them, he'll know right away.

- He goes out of his way to tind their phone number so he can send anonymous texts to them. "You look really cute in that" and "look at you. You're so cute when you look scared"

- Loud boy is loud. He's kinda terrible at stalking, so he'll make it seem like he just so happens to be there. Unlike Francis, however, he won't have gifts until later on.

- Seriously though,,, he's surprisingly good at playing crap off. "Oh haha, I was just trying to find the right moment to jump outta them bushes and scare you!"

- He uses his charisma to his advantage. A lot.

- To kidnap them he probably hits them hard enough to knock them out after insanity hits him.

- He's a paranoid little fuck. He keeps them shackled up in a dark and dreary room in his basement

- locks, cameras and alarms

- They have to really gain his trust in order for them to get a bed tbh

- He often has days where he just sits with them and... talks. Nothing in particular. He'll just talk. Responses don't matter too much to him.

- He eventually lets them roam the house, however he keeps them restrained somehow. That and he's literally always with them.

- It takes a VERY long time to fully gain his trust so yeah have fun with that

- he can cook damn well and he will for his S/O

- However he won't let them feed themselves. He feeds them, and often forces them to eat every last little bit. So they're gonna need to be prepared to gain some weight

- (he loves chub)

- Whenever it comes down to anything sexual he'll manipulate them, but then again this is only after they've warmed up.

- He just wants to start a family with them - If they escape he locks them away in the basement and ignores them. For a loooooong time. Lots of manipulation. Lots of psychological torture

Canada (Matthew Williams)

https://imagine-aph-everything.tumblr.com/post/161660717307/yandere-canada-headcanons

England (Arthur Kirkland)

- He knows magic okay?

- So uh

- He'll use his magic to kidnap them

- And (temporarily) erase memory

- As well as using a love potion

- Fucking boom he has his love and they love him

- BUT IT'S ONLY TEMPORARY

- THE SPELL AND POTION ARE TEMPORARY

- He would have spent a looooooong time perfecting the spell and the potion lemme tell you

- And he didn't know it was temporary

- However during the time they're under the spell and potion, he pampers the hell out of them. He doesn't let them go outside, though. Not without him and not when they're not in a disguise.

- They rarely go out for that matter

- He orders only the best food for his love

- Treats them to tea

- Gives them any sort of room they want, all that good stuff

- Gives them anything they want tbh - However when the things start to fade off he'll notice. And he'll notice quick

- But shit, he didn't make any more of the potion and he needs to perfect the spell again, good fucking going Arthur

- Gives them a new, comfy room but it doesn't have windows and there's like a magic alarm to let him know if they're trying to leave the house

- Ngl it kinda repeats

-- Mathias

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

1-50 for the ask game and I'm not sorry. ✨

WYV ILY 

ALSO TAGGING MY GF BC IM GAY @perfect-murderer

Under a read more bc long post 

1. Wake her up with kisses lesbian or play with her hair while you wait for her to wake up lesbian- Wake her up (wake her up inside) can’t wake up (wake her up inside) SMOOCH HER

2. X files lesbian or twin peaks lesbian- X-Files, I’ve always been gay for Scully

3. Pit Bull lesbian or corgi lesbian- I’ve never though about this but corgis! they look so happy and small!

4. Sweet tooth lesbian or saturates-everything-in-hot sauce lesbian- I can’t stand spice and I love sweet stuff (like my gf...and lemon candy)

5. Sunflower lesbian or white lily lesbian- As much as I love lily gay symbolism, sunflowers

6. Rose gold lesbian or white gold lesbian- this hit that ice cold I actually prefer rose gold

7. Dunkin’ donuts/Starbucks lesbian or strictly local cafe lesbian- I’ve never had Dunkin Donuts/Starbucks so cafe!

8. Sunrise lesbian or sunset lesbian- Sunsets, they also tend to be the best time to go crab catching~

9. Emily Dickinson lesbian or maya Angelou lesbian- I THINK EMILY DICKINSON (IS A LESBIAN)

10. Dark sexy ball gown or cute bright ball gown lesbian- depends...if the dark one shows too much skin (I tend to not like showing skin personally) then bright, but I love a dark dress as much as anyone!

11. Strawberry lesbian or watermelon lesbian- Watermelon lesbian all the way, though nutella dipped strawberries...

12. High waisted shorts lesbian or loose rolled up jeans lesbian- Loose jeans...I’m too ‘thicc’ and too short for any jeans to fit me comfortably tbh

13. 60s chic lesbian or 60s hippie lesbian- chic

14. Band lesbian or orchestra lesbian- NO THIS IS SO HARD I MEAN...WELL I DON’T PLAY BRASS SO ORCHESTRA BUT I PLAY TUNE PRECUSSION SO BAND BUT I LOVE BOTH BUT I LOVE BIG BAND STUFF BUT I LOVE ORCHESTRA I’M JUST A MUSIC HOE BLEASE I mean prob band

15. Choir lesbian or garage band lesbian- Garage band, most of the choir girls who’ve I’ve had crushes on turned out to be homophobic :/

16. Twirl her around lesbian or get twirled lesbian- TWIRL HER TWIRL HER TWIRL HER but like, if there’s a dip I’m fuckinG DIPPING BUT I LEAD OKAY EVEN IF I’M TERRIBLE 

17. Sit com lesbian or artsy independent dramatic romance film from France lesbian- I like the ‘gal pal’ sweet lesbians but they’re both paired up with guys sadly (COUGH COUGH PARKS AND REC) so probably dramatic? I’m a drama loving bitch

18. Bicycle lesbian or bus lesbian- Mike on his bike and bus lesbian is wlw mlm solidarity (blease ask me about the legend that is Mike) but yeah sadly bus lesbian, I can’t ride a bike and whenever I do I hum the HGSS bike theme and fall. Trains and ships are better

19. Jelly fish lesbian or dolphin lesbian- Jellyfish!!! BUT CRABS ARE PRIME!

20. Biology lesbian or physics lesbian- Biology lesbian by far, gimme that gay bats and crabs and sexual mitochondriac tension

21. Studio Ghibli lesbian or Cartoon Network lesbian- As much as I love SU and OK KO and whatnot, I gotta go with Ghibli (is there a gay Ghibli movie? blease say)

22. Take the spider outside lesbian or scream at her to take the spider outside lesbian- take the spider outside! I always do that, even if I’m scared

23. Serena Williams lesbian or Ronda Rousey lesbian- Serena...those muscles...those legs...she’s absolutely gorgeous

24. Prismacolor lesbian or faber castell lesbian- Faber Castle always, though I have gotten Prismacolor for birthdays and they’re high quality it always seems too...elite for me

25. “Campers are for the weak” lesbian or “I will die before sleeping on the ground” lesbian- Campers are for the weak, but use a damn sleeping bag and tent yo

26. Calling every female character they see their girlfriend lesbian or “Dana Scully isn’t your girlfriend, I am” lesbian- SCULLY I’M GAY but the latter, I wouldn’t want any character to actually date me they should date each other

27. Roller skate lesbian or ice skate lesbian- when I was a wee bean roller skates but like...I always used to fall. So Ice Skates? No yoi but like it’s cold and cute and lowkey holding my gf so she doesn’t trip more like clinging onto her legs as I do the splits and break all my bones

28. “Christmas carols are dumb and over played” lesbian or belting out all I want for Christmas is you at the top of their lungs lesbian- Dumb and overplayed, I will listen to my gf and join her but like,,,tragic shopaholic mother backstories,,,always, always playing, always there. 

29. Buy her something lesbian or make her something lesbian- depends, I love making things but I have like, no dexterity so probably buy?

30. Cherry mojitos lesbian or cherry flavored vodka lesbian- ...I must betray the rat bois...but mojitos. I hate mint but it’s so fucking ~*fresh*~ (I don’t drink but I’ve made ‘mocktails’)

31. Write her poems lesbian or bake her cookies lesbian- Y’ALL ALREADY KNOW I’M A GAY ASS POET MY MAJOR ENGLISH WORK IS LITERALLY GAY POEMS BASED OFF FLOWERS

32. Tummy kisses lesbian or thigh kisses lesbian- t...thigh kisses....////

33. I’ll fight anyone that makes my girl cry lesbian or I’ll psychologically destroy anyone that makes my girl cry lesbian- Both, nemo impune lassit bitch- Edgar Allen Poe

34. Fall asleep in her arms lesbian or rub her back until she falls asleep in your arms lesbian- rub her back until she falls asleep in your arms

35. Floral pattern lesbian or tie dye lesbian- floral pattern, love those rainbows but plants dude,,,

36. Snake lesbian or frog lesbian- *tries not to make a kanako/suwako reference* Snakes, they blep, as much as I love memes. 

37. Send her memes lesbian or “if you call me the rarest Pepe one more time I swear to god”- SEND HER MEMES SEND HER MEMES I WANT TO NUT (Never leave her Unconditionally love her Treat her right)

38. Star Wars lesbian or lord of the rings lesbian- Star Wars, i’m not hugely into either but star wars

39. Spice girls lesbian or 5th harmony lesbian- no clue,,, but probably 5th harmony?

40. Pink hair lesbian or blue hair lesbian- depends, light cotton candy pink but on someone else blue (gimme that dark or lilac purple any gay tho)

41. Maple syrup lesbian or berry syrup lesbian-Maple syrup slorp slorp slorp

42. Vinyl lesbian or cassette lesbian- Vinyl? 

43. Paris lesbian or Amsterdam lesbian- never been to Amsterdam so probably Amsterdam? 

44. Jazz lesbian or swing lesbian- hHHhHHhHHHhhHhH DONT MAKE ME CHOOSe I LoVE THEM BOTH oKAY????

45. Pin stripes lesbian or plaid lesbian- Pin stripes forever, flannel looks good on other people but not my thing

46. Mini golf date lesbian or bowling date lesbian- bowling because there’s usually an arcade and snacks! I usually enjoy the shoot em ups and pinball and I’ll fuking destroy at air hockey and cause copious collateral damage, but mini golf is senseless whacking destruction so if there’s no security cameras mini golf

47. D E S T R O Y her at Mario kart lesbian or let her win lesbian- try but end up losing, but at least I have the cutest character-cart combo

48. Pullover hoodie lesbian or zip up hoodie lesbian- Zip ups forever, but like, not those shitty half crop top zip up shit, gimme an actual hoodie you heathens

49. Band tshirt lesbian or fandom tshirt lesbian- I got pokemon t-shirts so fandom?

50. Love her with your entire heart lesbian or lover her with your entire soul lesbian- uhhh both??? If souls are actual things then souls, bc giving someone your blood pumper would be messy, and I’m a gay ass demon

[disableddisaster]

Do all of them ! Blease !!! I Stan u so hard I need the insider deets!!!!!

now THATS what i like to hear :))

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

asfgsfdg im only listening to after laughter rn

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

@gaysun but thats happening so idk. come to alberta tristan

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

theres not a single book in this room and im not leaving to go look for one

4: What do you think about most?

sfgafdgasfg idk myself, probably

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

”he drank ur orange juice the fuck” - you

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

just my underwear

7: What’s your strangest talent?

im gay

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

girls are good boys are bad (noah fence i love u)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

yes actually :’)

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

man idk

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

FUCKIGN black BEETLES

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

i dont think so? kleenex?

13: What’s your religion?

man idk !!!!

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

walking to work or looking for dogs

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

in front im a vain bxtch

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

patd.............................................

17: What was the last lie you told?

i know i lied to my mom the other day but i told the truth five minutes later and i dont know what i lied abt

18: Do you believe in karma?

no lol

19: What does your URL mean?

bella swan is a big ass lesbian

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

dude i dont fucking KNOW who am i!!!!!!

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

kristen stewart.. . hayley williams..... shrugs

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

no i dont want any BUGS crawlin around in there.there was an episode of greys anatomy when that happened

23: How do you vent your anger?

i yell to my mom tbh

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

MUGS

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting is so fun

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

NO LOL

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

sound i hate: paper towels 

sound i love: rain i guess

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

what IF I fail at life completely wow

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

YES AND YES

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

right, my computer. left, my cup!

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

man idk AIR??????

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

high school

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

CANADIAN west coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

hmmmm bad question\

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

AUGHFGKDF not to be dramatic but there isnt one

36: Define Art.

dude i dont know. why is this so fake deep

37: Do you believe in luck?

NO !!!!!

38: What’s the weather like right now?

its dark out  and im inside!!! i dont know!! i think its warm

39: What time is it?

12:25am :O

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

yes! and no

41: What was the last book you read?

eclipse..................sdfghsdghsdfgsfg

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

..............................who does......

43: Do you have any nicknames?

shy!!!!!!!!!!!

44: What was the last film you saw?

dgsfsdfg new moon!!!!!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i dont know!!!!!!!!! i injure myself a lot im clumsy

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

no!!!!!!!!!!! let them be free.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

twilight, dragon quest 8, paramores new album,.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

TAKE A WILD FUCKign GUESS

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

YES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA it was awful

50: Do you believe in magic?

.......................no

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

YES LOL

52: What is your astrological sign?

im a libra :^)

53: Do you save money or spend it?

i cant fuckign save money for shit

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

a grande coconut cold brew coffee with extra coconut milk :O

55: Love or lust?

what dpes this mean.

56: In a relationship?

no!

57: How many relationships have you had?

3

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

fun fact i have a really really short tongue

59: Where were you yesterday?

went to the bank in the city and the MALL and ate a sandwich

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

no :(:(:(

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

SOCKS ARE GARBAGE

62: What’s your favourite animal?

CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and sheep and giraffes. mostly cats

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

fgkdfgosfkg u think i have a secret weapon???????? bxtch i dont even like me!!!!

64: Where is your best friend?

i texted her and asked her one sec. ok she replied “im in my bed!!!!!”

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

@gaysun @gaysun @hurricance @hurricance @popcornlesbians :)

66: What is your heritage?

idk! im ukrainian and french

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

playing dragon quest and listening to @quidditchlesbian s wild stories

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

this is so werid asgafdgadsf

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

duh

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i mean probably. im kind of annoying tho

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

sfgadfgadsf save the dog im not HEARTLESS my job gives me no hours anyways lol

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) probably bc i overshare b) probably just pet my cats c) sort of?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

TRUST

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

..................someBODY

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

2980

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

trust and communication also i think attraction is important tbh

77: How can I win your heart?

be a cute girl and be nice to me. maybe have a cute animal or smth

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

MMMMMMMMMM ABLEISM

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

gay

80: What size shoes do you wear?

5? 6?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”gay bxtch”

82: What is your favourite word?

LESBIAN

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

i wish i was on my phone id add the yellow heart emoji

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

”wow id die for u”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

earlier i was listening to live in chicago

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

yellow adn PINK

87: What is your current desktop picture?

its a pic of bella swan

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

theoretically like donald trump but probably my abuser :)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

bxtch u could ask me literally anything and id tell u. literally aything

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

go back to sleep. plot twist im actually just having a sleep paralysis episode

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

the vegetables are mushrooms and ALSO iwanna teleport or fly

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

the other morning i had a really relaxing breakfast at tim hortons i just listened to music and ate my bagel. it was nice

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

JSDFKJSFG u think i can choose? ur FUNNY!! 

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

oh,,.. .my fucign god. tjis is such a loaded question,. HAYLEY WILLIAMS

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

JENNA (or nyc but shes not there rn so probably just wherever she is!)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

i think my bio dad was in jail once. maybe

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

no ew throwing up is a huge fear of mine

98: Ever been on a plane?

yep i love planes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

“im gay”

THANKS TRISTAN

[remember-my-name-16]

This particular month’s version of the mostly samey questions I like to re-answer every now and then because perspectives change or whatever.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Sad Dream - Sky Ferreira Right Where It Belongs - NiN We Should Be Together - Pia Mia Keep Running - Tei Shi Where Is My Mind - Pixies Realiti - Grimes

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Someone willing to give a stranger in need lots of money.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. I’m too depressed to move, that’s why I’m even doing this question thing again. All my books are on my bathroom shelf. Fuck.

4: What do you think about most? The unceasing dissatisfaction I have myself, I don’t know. With happy thoughts though: it’d have to be Joe. If he wasn’t here I wouldn’t be either.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Upstairs toilets Hun xx”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Depends how warm it is and what company I have.

7: What’s your strangest talent? Honestly couldn’t tell you. I’m pretty strange but not talented.

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence) Girls love their daddies; Boys have healthy relationships with their parents

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? No, but for my birthday this year a girl I was seeing gave me a framed poem by E.E. Cummings

It was adorable. She was adorable. Fuck.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? Yesterday, it was a nice day. A good send off.

11: Do you have any strange phobias? Commitment

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Not to my knowledge. But that could just be the brown crayola sticking in my frontal lobe talking.

13: What’s your religion? Orthodoxy for those sweet stability events, local unrest and missionairy strength bonuses yea my EU4 bois know what I’m talkin’ about.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Sitting down and taking in whatever scenery there is, enjoying a warm or cold breeze and breathing relatively fresh air. Bonus points if I have a glass of old mout on the rocks.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Depends how vain I’m feeling at the time.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? The Birthday Massacre, I don’t listen to them all that much but fuck me I love their aesthetic and atmosphere SO FUCKING MUCH.

17: What was the last lie you told? “I’ll pay you back with two drinks hun xx”

18: Do you believe in karma? I believe that shit people will be seen for what they are because eventually everyone’s actions catch up with them.

19: What does your URL mean? It’s a reference to Breaking Bad, one of my favourite TV shows, and used that play on that theme of the show to reference my will to be well, remembered.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Most likely the same thing: I think too much.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Maisie Williams, this world doesn’t deserve such a cutie

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nah

23: How do you vent your anger?

idk I go out and drink with ppl or something

or I don’t vent at all and bottle it up and break down after a year or something

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have kept some stuff that has emotional significance to me. Mostly from ended friendships and relationships. Things they gave me, or things I owned at the time and reminds me of the way I felt at the time, and how they felt about me. It’s a sobering thing to keep around.

I recently had a pretty bad few days because I lost something like that, I lost a necklace that a girl I was seeing this year left at my place so she had an excuse to come back to my place the next time she was around, when I ended things because I wasn’t ready to commit to a relationship with her, I knew she would get more attached, and she was too sweet for me to hurt. Although I probably did anyway, I kept the necklace and wore it almost all the time to remind myself of what I did and why I should always be sure about what I want before I get someone else who’d care about me invested.

Drunk me lost that necklace, hopefully it’ll come around, but knowing me. Yeeeaaahh I doubt it.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

If it’s with my girlfriend, video chatting. But other than that the phone is much less stress.

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

Yes and no. It’s hard to explain how I feel about myself, but I feel experienced and weathered. I like my sense of humour, I like my level of emotional maturity for the most part, I’m certainly better than most. But I’m not really doing anything with my life, and I’m in a very bad place. I’d go into more detail honestly, but it’d be like trying to untie a ball of wrapped cables.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

The sound of a fork scratching a plate, seagulls yelling. And I love the elegant and refreshing sound of a drink being poured onto ice and fizzling up against the glass. Failing that a girl getting fucked moaning.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

What if I got good grades in school, and passed my A-Levels?

or

What if I managed to keep the people I loved when I wanted them?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts no Aliens sure

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first?  Do the same with your left arm.

An empty bottle of cider I drank with my pizza just hours ago. It kinda sucked, but I needed something to wash down the pizza.

The pizza box.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

My aftershave, I put it on before I left to go out with Adam an hour or so ago.

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

A half destroyed doctors office in Spain.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East Coast, Californians are cunts.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Taylor Momsen xo

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

Europa tbh

36: Define Art.

Europa tbh

37: Do you believe in luck?

Worst mechanic please remove from the fucking game why does god france with Elan get to have an extra +25% Manpower recovery speed are you fucking kidding me like fuck off I work for hours to build up a fair fighting chance to beat these big blue wankers and I lose a war I absolutely should’ve won because BEH FRANCE LUCKY BEH fuck off cunt no I don’t believe in luck

 38: What’s the weather like right now?

Nice ‘n’ Warm

39: What time is it?

3:55 AM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

Nah

41: What was the last book you read?

Fight Club

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yeah it’s nice

43: Do you have any nicknames?

God Hands

44: What was the last film you saw?

...Fight Club

Look, it’s a good story fuck yourself

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Almost lost my hand to a stray van door being shut on my wrist with pretty extreme force.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I’d be too worried for it’s safety tbh

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Caramel Ices Frappes and Tequila.

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

I’m part of the Bisexual master race, yes.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?#

Prolly

50: Do you believe in magic?

Magic must fucking exist because I don’t understand how Spain can defeat my clearly superior naval fleet outmanning them with at least 56 galleys in an inland sea. Must have a fetishist cultist cursing my ships or some shit like gtfo cunt.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Only if they’re a megacunt.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Pisces

53: Do you save money or spend it?

T R E A T    Y O   S E L F

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

Caramel Iced Frappe

55: Love or lust?

If you don’t have both yous a beech

56: In a relationship?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha kill me

57: How many relationships have you had?

3 that count for something

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Ye

59: Where were you yesterday?

DRIVIN’ WITH THE BOIS

it was really nice I haven’t had a day like that since I was 17

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

My sheets have flowers on them

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Mhmm

62: What’s your favourite animal?

H U S K I E S

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Revealing my inner demons and hoping they aren’t turned off by that.

64: Where is your best friend?

Sleeping next to his wife-tier girlfriend. kill me

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

They’d all be porn blogs.

66: What is your heritage?

English with a tad Spanish.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Waiting for my fucking job to pay me so I could order something at the bar.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

OSMANOGLU

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

WORST MOST BORING OVERUSED QUESTION EVER FUCK ME

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Sure

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

If it’s a chihuahua I’m going to work lmao

72: How are you in the bedroom?

Only going from what I’ve been told I’d say I’d rate me at like an average of a 7.5/10 fuck

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

P A R A D O X I C A L    Q U E S T I O N    T B H

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Black Betty

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

I actually don’t know but I cba to check

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Good Tea, Good Talk, Good Sex.

77: How can I win your heart?

Give me attention, a reason to go outside and blow me.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

“Is water wet?”

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Dating Hannah, mostly because I realised I was good at sex, met Joe and went into a personality changing depression that made me a jaded cunt that barely takes life seriously.

Also as uncomfortable as I feel saying it now she was so lovely when we were actually infatuated with eachother so I experience the idealised “love” they show you in movies before I left my teens.

Mostly Joe though, best person I know.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

9′s I think?????

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

”The last person who blew me gets all my stuff”

82: What is your favourite word?

Cance

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Something I desire quite a lot.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

Kill me

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

See Me - Tei Shi

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Whatever colour cuck blood bleeds

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s been like this since I broke up with Natalie. It’s weird that I remember that specifically but yaknow

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Holy shit. So many choices.

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

I don’t think I have one, there’s no point in hiding the truth when it always comes out in the end, even if it’s tough to stomach facing. That and I don’t really have any loose ends.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Jerk off and see how they react.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

The ability to heal anyone I touch, with the added bonus of being able to control it.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

That one time Heather was fucking me so good and trying to make me cum so badly that she almost passed out from loss of breathe and I told her she should stop just in case she was in danger and she wouldn’t for like five minutes but eventually couldn’t take it anymore and I made her stop.

Seriously, ignoring the fact that she was actually the nicest sweetest little thing, and the perfect girlfriend, I will forever hate myself for even slightly hurting that girl, she had the iron will of a sex goddess.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Freddos going up in prices AGAIN

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Sky Ferreira or Pia Mia

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The Sun

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

a guy in my dad’s side of the family got a life sentence for butchering his wife

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I could have gone my whole life without being reminded of how bad I felt the one time that happened thx whoever wrote all of these questions

98: Ever been on a plane?

I’m a lower middle class western white guy...

of course

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?