#Why? it's the shortest month of the year so I can build a habit/get an achievement fastest

[fuckingfinwions]

Dying disqualifies elves from being king. Not just while dead, but even after they Return they’re no longer in the line of succession. And the new body doesn’t have the built up strength of the old one, it’s so easy to overpower...

To clarify, dying is the only thing that disqualifies a member of the royal family from being king. Finwe’s heir is “whichever of his children survives longest, succeeded by whichever of his grandchildren survives longest.”

They’re allowed to kill direct competition. If Lalwen killed Maglor she’d be tried for murder (and executed, and therefore disqualified), but if Amras killed Maglor it would just make for an awkward thanksgiving dinner.

It actually lasts in a fragile near-peace for a lot longer than you might expect. Feanor hates his siblings, but he’s never made a secret of that. Especially after Findis’s wine was laced with cadmium, the rest don’t let him get close enough to hurt them. Nolofinwe, Arafinwe, and Lalwen are also very united in Finwe’s heir being Not Feanor, so they won’t kill each other until they’re certain Feanor is out of the way.

They expect the children to be safe around each other. Caranthir, though has a temper, even from a young age. He and Turgon are in the library, and a discussion on an obscure legal precedent turns into shouting match, and then into a shoving match. Caranthir falls into an ornate candelabra, and gets wax everywhere, along with a long cut along one arm. Resorting to fists rather than words isn’t princely, but he shoves Turgon back. They might as well both get in trouble for fighting.

And then Caranthir notices that their fighting has brought them near a second-story window. Assassination is properly royal behavior. He lowers his shoulder and charges Turgon.

Carnathir managed to stop himself from barreling out the window after Turgon, and by the time he gets to the courtyard it’s quite obvious that Turgon is dead.

Nolofinwe is notified, and he comes quickly. Caranthir hides, but Nolofinwe is initially overcome by grief, not vengeance. He holds Turgon’s body and cries.

Feanor arrives to make sure Caranthir is alright, and reassure him that this was a laudable act. And there’s Nolofinwe outside, completely unaware of anything around him.

Feanor slits Nolofinwe’s throat while he’s still holding his son’s corpse.

Feanor gets cocky after that, his pride even stronger now that Nolofinwe, “the only one close to real competition”, is dead. He gets sloppy with his precautions, wandering about the palace on his own with his mind still half on his work.

He never notices Lalwen creeping up behind him, or the vase she lifts to bash over his head in vengeance for her favorite brother. Feanor dies quite literally not knowing what hit him.

Arafinwe is nervous now. When there were four of the siblings, he could wait and let them all spend energy on plots and counter-plots with each other. But now it’s just him and Lalwen. He doesn’t particularly want to be king, but he wants to die even less.

Arafinwe fills Lawen’s pillows with herbs that will make her sleep deeply. A few hours into the night, he breaks into her room and moves one over her head.

Crown Prince Arafinwe is very lonely, but hopefully his siblings won’t resent him too much when they come back? He asks the servants to keep Lalwen’s room in good condition, and he made sure that her death only ruined her nightgown and no more.

[lediz-watches]

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon

AKA, cooking, with world building. And dragons.

Quick overview for the uninitiated: Delicious in Dungeon (or Dungeon Meshi) is an anime following a small group of adventurers in a vaguely first-edition Dungeons and Dragons setting (except also very much not DnD, despite the pun) as they attempt to find one of their lost party members. To ensure they survive without money, and to indulge a kink of their leader, they resort to hunting the monsters of the dungeon for food. The show is very heavily influenced, to the point of affectionate parody, by cooking anime, with stillshots of the final meals and the original manga including mock-recipe and nutrient maps on said stillshots.

I didn’t watch it for several months because Tumblr’s manga community had presented the show as being one of those shows where everyone is queer and neurodivergent and it’s all about their struggles and love conquering all and I was just like “that’s cool, you have fun, kids”. I can't remember why I decided to watch it - I think I saw a Netflix trailer and decided I was bored enough to try it. But it is not that.

I mean, don’t get me wrong. Two characters are almost definitely autistic, one of whom is probably a lesbian, and the closest thing she has to a love interest is maybe bisexual, but honestly, despite being fifty years old, she’s probably too young to really know. Half-elves, man, they’re problematic. But none of that is the point of the show. In fact, it's mostly entirely platonic the whole way through. At most, the show is about self-acceptance, personal sacrifice, and the difference between what you want and what you need.

Also good nutrition.

There are a few things I love about it, one of which is my personal kink, which is worldbuilding and poking at the strangeness of a world until it makes sense. The characters are products of their environments and backgrounds, with prejudices and conceits that make sense to not only their backstories but also their respective ages (which is further problematised by their varying maturity rates and race profiles). The world itself is an evolving character, created by a flawed and (I suspect, haven’t finished the manga yet) sympathetic villain. It’s so juicy and good.

I also love (most of) the characters themselves and how they interact. With my favourite, of course, being the emotionally repressed father of three that looks like a fourteen year old kid.

Chilchuck is everything I love about the series in one character. He’s so complicated. He’s a half-foot, which is the equivalent of a halfling, and therefore always looks very young and cute, to the point that even half of the main characters see him as a child. However, because half-foots are the shortest lived race, he’s actually the equivalent of a fifty-something. Add to this that half-foots do legitimately seem to use teen vernacular out of habit, no matter how goddamn done they are with these frikking kids around them. Add to this that he became a married father of two when he was still the equivalent of a teenager, was immediately thrust into a toxic work environment where he was confronted with the fact his whole race is mostly considered greedy scum-sucking thieves at least positive and outright monster-bait at most positive…! ADD TO THIS that he is a self-sacrificing idiot that would rather the whole world��including his family—think he’s a vile, narcissistic, cheating coward than admit even to himself that he just can’t handle seeing people he cares about hurt and is trying to keep them out of trouble the only way he can.

And he’s the main character with probably the least amount of screentime, it absolutely kills me!

There are a few things I don’t love, however.

I don’t love Senshi. The dwarf hermit that enables the story by being an essentially dungeon-native with a love of cooking. The story starts off with him being the all-knowing, down-to-earth, reliable old man, which rubbed me the wrong way because he was also stubborn and self-righteous and the story seemed to be entirely on his side. But in the story’s defence, it does poke and prod at him, and showcase his prejudices, but at the end of the first season (and I think halfway through the story) I still mostly just tolerate him.

I watched in English, and… look. Look.

This is one of the few examples where I think subs not dubs might have worked in its favour.

Normally I don’t agree with that, because dubbers are not given nearly enough credit for their skills. Voice acting is hard, and dubbing even more so. Also, while the Japanese actors may be very good, they are not infallible. Sometimes, the reason you think they’re incredible is because you don’t understand what they’re saying and so can’t tell whether they’re good actors or not.

BUT. In this specific case. I think that last point might have helped.

Because there are long stretches of exposition and cooking narration in this series, told in quite monotone, matter-of-fact ways which are perfect for the character and tone of the series but are not actually that entertaining to listen to. And so I suspect that hiding behind another language may have really helped mask that. There are things that work in written form that just don’t in audio.

I wish the series could spend a bit more time poking at its characters. Especially Chilchuck. Seriously, this man’s instinct when confronted with his own good qualities is to stop moving. I love it so much. Marcille, the half-elf, is interesting to me because of her unique growth rate. Half-elves live to be a thousand, and she’s only fifty. She was still a toddler at thirteen. She thinks of herself as an adult. She sees the twenty-something tall-men (humans) as young teens. As the series goes on, she seems increasingly more like a seventeen year old to me. I want to know how much of that is intentional.

The actual main character, Laios… I want to understand his head more. It’s hard, because he’s clearly autistic and canonically struggles with other people’s feelings, and self-reflection, so in many ways I think he legitimately is as simple as he seems. But because of that, he’s one of the few prophesised kings/chosen ones that I find myself… not rooting for. His instincts entirely revolve around monsters, he doesn’t get humans, and I just… can’t see that working out for a king long-term without some serious infrastructure and look at me getting all political world-building again and I’m just not invested enough in Laios to explore it myself, so I want to see it happen in-series.

But it’s generally so good. If you’ll forgive the pun, it’s meaty and tasty and it’s so good. I think it’s what I needed. Unfortunately, the fandom isn’t what I wanted it to be, so I don't know how much fun I'll have with it outside canon, but I’ll be honest, that’s pretty appropriate for this series.

Sometimes, it’s not about what you want.

Sometimes, you just need to chew on what you need, and keep looking for what you want next.

Probably a good life lesson, all things considered.

[fjadwrites]

Good afternoon!

Yes, I know. This is a lot later than my usual blogging time. You could say things had gotten busier around here since I woke up this morning. It's 3:46 PM here as I'm writing here. But I did read for today. I think that's a good thing. I tried to read as much as I can while doing things around here.

As for my reading update from yesterday,  I got to finish reading several books! What do you know? Then again, three of them were just the shortest books from my old currently reading list that were added since the early 2024, to be honest. You could say I'm in a hurry to be on track with my Goodreads Reading Challenge for this year. And what better for me to do that?Read short books. But three out of the four books I've finished reading yesterday were self-help books. And one of them has something to do with writing. And obviously, since I did crunch reading (as I'd like to call it) yesterday, it was obvious that I surpassed my page count quota yesterday. With this, now I'm thinking of raising the maximum number of pages for me to read to either 80 or 90. Definitely not 100 as it was still too much for my brain.

Let me rate the books I've read yesterday. I mean, I know I did it in Goodreads already. But I also want to do it here.

"The 12 Week Year" by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington - ⭐⭐⭐, but only because it only made my brain like a mush and maybe I just felt pressured in a way as I was reading the whole thing. I mean, the idea was great that you can actually do a lot of things in about 3 months. But maybe I wasn't in the right mindset just yet to implement the process to myself at the moment. For now, I would consider doing the process in the future, especially since I do view myself a failure at my age of 33.

"5,000 Words Per Hour: Write Faster, Write Smarter" by Chris Fox - ⭐⭐⭐, but the idea was definitely something I can do when I'm writing. I actually first heard about this book because of Kate Cavanaugh's video when she tried to write 5,000 words an hour like Chris Fox. But it actually took me a while to finish reading the whole thing. I don't know what made me stop reading this, to be honest. And I know it's other than my reading slump. Should I blame my writing slump/writer's block on that, as well? But yes, I know I can only write around 3,000 words maximum in one day. Why? I tend to write my stories by hand first. It has been a habit since high school and I don't think I've ever outgrown that. But I could still do the practices here in this book in my writing just so I can use that as a reason to discipline my writer self. So the books still helped me in some way.

"Romancing The Beats: Story Structure for Romance Novels" by Gwen Hayes - This one was a definite ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ for me, only because it does provided me more insight than I ever thought I needed when it comes to writing romance stories. I mean, you could say that romance is sort of my forte in writing stories. It was the genre that I started writing back in high school. Yes, I'm thanking Kate Cavanaugh once again for me discovering this book for writers. And I think she outlined her first romance novel with this as a guide. I still haven't started outlining any romance stories with the beats in this book. But I will get to that ㅡ once I managed to get my writing groove back.

The second volume of "By The Grace Of The Gods" is also done, and I've rated it ⭐⭐⭐⭐ in Goodreads. Hmm... Maybe because I wasn't some of the characters to appear here early that I've only seen on the second season of the anime version. Another thing that could've affected the original 5 stars rating was the initial assumption I had that anime version encompassed the first two volumes of the light novel. I was wrong. This volume seemed to be encompassing only 3 episodes since it has something to do with the continuation of the monster subjugation and starting the laundry store. The real problem for me? Information overload on the store building part.

That's a lot for me to even write here, you know. But I thought I should add my comments (even if it's short) on each of the book I would finish reading. Yes, even my own ratings on the books done reading.

It's currently raining hard as I write here, but let's get on with the next part. As for th book I continued reading, I actually read 18 pages of the fifth volume of "The Most Heretical Last Boss Queen" at past midnight, as I've mentioned in my blog entry yesterday. I didn't add more pages done reading on that book after that since I concentrated reading more on the other books. So no comments and ratings just yet.

I really should try raising the maximum number for a bit, but I would definitely not let it reach 100 for my brain's sake. But with all that I've read today, I think I already reached this page count quota today. I'll let you know about the books I read tomorrow. 

Just to give you a heads up ㅡ they were mainly novellas. Blame my frustration for constantly seeing the number of books behind schedule in my Goodreads Reading Challenge. So this was my solution to finally beat that.

Yes, I know this entry is already way too late than my usual posting time. But it's only past 5 in the afternoon here in 🇵🇭, so it's still within the day.

Let's see if I can post here during my usual early posting time. See you tomorrow! Happy reading. 😊✌️💕📚📖

[smart-psiants]

How to Lose Weight Fast: 14 Things You Can Do to Lose Weight Quickly!

Everyone wants to know how to lose weight fast. We know the usual "watch your diet and exercise regularly" routine. But if it is as simple as that, then there wouldn't be so many fat people in this world!

 Amidst all the lies and hype surrounding the weight loss industry, it can be hard to separate the hype and lies from the truth. That's why in today's article, I'm going to share with you 14 things you must do to lose weight fast. Following these 14 tips will help you to lose weight safely and stay lean all year-round.

 WARNING: SOME OF THE INFORMATION YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ MAY CONTRADICT WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS.

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #1: Stop eating only salads

 This is a well-known habit especially among female office workers. You order a big salad with nothing but greens. Your colleagues see what you eat and applaud your efforts to lose weight. But before 2pm, you get hungry and start looking for cookies and chocolates to snack. How's that for one step forward and two steps back in your fat loss attempt? While there's nothing wrong with having salads for lunch, you should add some good clean protein such as eggs and chicken breasts and also good fats such as avocados or guacamole into your salads as well. Remember this: Every meal should have a protein element. These protein and fat make you feel more satisfied after the meal and will sustain your blood sugar levels for a longer period so you won't be looking for unhealthy snacks around the office right after lunch.

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #2: Replace all the unhealthy snacks at home and in your office

 Contrary to popular belief, snacking is actually productive for fat loss. Snacking on healthy snacks in between meals will help maintain a steady blood glucose level and also keep your metabolism elevated. Since people snack on convenience and the general availability of food around them, it is important to keep only healthy snacks such as dark chocolate, nuts, trail mixes, fruits or even beef jerky within easy reach. Throw all the others away. Or give them to a colleague you hate.

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #3: Start a simple exercise routine

 Every fat loss program needs to have an exercise component. It doesn't even have to an actual exercise like jogging or swimming. If you have never exercised before in your life, you can even start something as simple as brisk walking every day for 20 minutes and work up the intensity from there. The main objective is staying active and turning up your metabolism. As you get fitter (and you will), crank up the intensity and challenge your body to reach new heights of fitness.

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #4: Stop the steady state jogging

 If you have been jogging for some time and haven't seen any significant weight loss results, then it's time for you to move on to more challenging exercises. Jogging is a good exercise to build your cardiovascular endurance, but not the best for fat loss. To effective burn fat, you need a workout that elevates your heart rate to at least 80% of your maximum heart rate and burns the most number of calories in the shortest period of time. Full body exercises such as burpees, squats, deadlifts, shoulder presses and rows gives you the most bang for your time spent on exercising. Perform each exercise for 30 seconds with a 30 second break in between for 3 sets before moving onto the next. Do this for 10 - 15 minutes a day and you will see results beyond what you have experienced from months of jogging.

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #5: Don't avoid carbohydrates completely

 When carbs replaced fats as the main contributor of weight gain, many people are avoiding all known types of carbs completely. I personally have a colleague who shuns carbs like the plague. Let me set the record straight. Not all carbs are bad. Our bodies need carbs to function properly. Carbs are our bodies' main source of energy. In fact, our brain functions primarily on carbs. Depriving your body of carbs can have detrimental effects on your body. Every type food has its time and place to be consumed. As a general rule, you should only consume low glycemic carbs such as brown rice, dark leafy vegetables, multi-grain bread, oatmeal, etc. High glycemic foods such as bananas, juices, white rice, potatoes and other processed foods are best consumed only right after an intense exercise.

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #6: Set realistic and measurable goals

 A lot of people give up on a training or fat loss program after a week or so because they did not see the results they were expecting. First of all, you have to remember that you didn't get fat overnight. So you should not expect a miracle weight loss to happen as well. Setting realistic and measurable goals will help keep you motivated and continue towards your ultimate weight loss goal. So what considered as a realistic goal? Losing 0.5-1kg (1-2 lbs) a week is a realistic. Losing half an inch on your waist after two weeks is realistic. Of course, you have to be completely honest with yourself when you are accessing these goals. Ask yourself if you are really following the exercise program religiously? How many times did you cheat on your diet?

 How To Lose Weight Fast Tip #7: Focus on building muscle

 Some people may disagree with me that exercising and muscle-building is important for fat loss. To me, fat loss is all about changing our body composition - reducing the fat mass and increasing fat-free mass (muscles). Increasing fat-free mass will invariably contribute to the lowering of fat mass. For each pound of muscle your body has, you burn an extra 35-50 calories a day. Fat on the other hand burns only 2 calories per pound. So the more muscle you have, the higher your metabolic rate will be. And contrary to popular belief, having more muscles is what will give your body those sexy curves that the opposite sex desires.

Check out our blog for more on this topic. Click Here.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Summon Away | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

The day has come! I am finally writing an update on the fifteenth and final chapter of Moth Work, which I wrote about a month ago! 

Summon Away is probably the shortest in the book at just over 1800 words, and also one of my faves because it’s so?? tender?? I wrote it in one sitting and couldn’t have asked for a better end to this book. Here’s a scene breakdown:

Scene A:

Harrison sees Lonan for a soft moment early in the morning, free of the stress of Eliza lmaooo. They have a super tender moment, however there’s this strange tension to the point where we know something isn’t exactly right.

Harrison moves the scene along by saying he’s going to grab a pack of cigarettes from a gas station down the road. From the context, we can probably tell this is true, except he ain’t coming back. Probably the most sweepingly dramatic moment I’ve ever written and I’m here for it loool. This is my soap opera moment where Harrison essentially leaves Lonan to have his new relationship with Eliza, despite his concern, because he’s gotta make a decision that’s healthiest for him and that’s called character development folks!!

Did I break my own heart breaking up my OTP :) yes!!!

Scene B:

This is a really short half scene where Harrison locates his mother who doesn't live far from Eliza’s apartment.

Scene C:

Harrison and his mother sit outside on her balcony and he reflects on his decision to split (literally a trend that all my Fostered characters are yeeting away from each other oops) while watching people below engage in some form of a relationship with one another. So much drama!!

The chapter gets its title from a Nothing But Thieves song (why would it not at this point), Tempt You (Evocatio). I was struggling to title this chapter because I needed something that fit the vibe, and had actually tried to use the concept of an evocation to title a chapter for this book previously to no avail. However, after revisiting the Wikipedia article for an evocation, I came across the definition of “summon away”:

The Latin word evocatio was the "caIIing forth" or "summoning away" of a city's tutelary deity. The rituaI was conducted in a miIitary setting either as a threat during a siege or as a result of surrender, and aimed at diverting the god's favor from the opposing city to the Roman side, customariIy with a promise of a better-endowed cuIt or a more Iavish Tempie.

I thought this concept of “summoning away” sounded slightly contradictory (the word summon brings images of a coming forth of some sorts, while the word away sounds like the opposite at least to me am I making this more *metaphorical* than it is perhaps) and I really thought the chapter strangely fit the above definition, hence my choosing!

Excerpts:

This is kind of torture because I dearly miss writing the boys interacting as they’re not with each other in Feeding Habits the angstttt:

“What is that?” Harrison asks, pulling back a barstool with one hand, while pointing at the mug with another.

Lonan glances up, and the two mutually analyze each other. Lonan’s puckered skin, how morning makes his eyelashes papery, like wings. He wonders what Lonan sees in him—for a moment, it’s all he wants to know.

Lonan knuckles the mug over and Harrison picks it up like he’s holding an eyeball. The tea is hot, though Lonan hasn’t seemed to mind, and its flowery perfume burns Harrison’s throat. Lonan pulls the mug back to him when Harrison’s done, and takes another sip.      

“I still have no idea,” Harrison says, and to his shame, studies Lonan’s face for a bite wound.

“Earl grey.”

“Sounds fancy.”

“It expired four years ago.”

Harrison gasps, and Lonan almost smiles. And for a moment, Harrison almost forgets where he is. What happened at this counter just a few hours prior. With Lonan, it almost disappears. They could be back at the cabin, needling through the woods on that first day they tried to get rid of the dark room. They could be in the water, shielding, yet simultaneously pushing each other under. They could be dancing to no music in a tiny bathroom or driving for carless miles in the tarnish of rain. 

This is my very overt metaphor that I bullshitted to title this novel that ended up working being very overtly injected into this book !! :))) but imagine this part with a sepia filter and it’s actually a silent film with captions oh:

“I found this article,” Lonan says, and turns the paper over. It’s not very long, just a small corner of the entire page, but Harrison sees the title, all bolded, Summer’s Dreaded Pesk: 10 Facts About Moths. He leans in closer to read it.

The facts are almost all useless to him—that moths like sweet things, that there are thousands of species, that many don’t eat, but what sticks out to him is the last: how they’re attracted to light. Harrison skims the text with his fingernail, reads something about light traps, and tries not to think of how unfortunate it all is—to move toward light and then stop moving altogether. 

He knows whatever he will say will keep him here, in this sun, on this barstool, reading the newspaper about moths, sitting next to Lonan, drinking his tea, never knowing what flavour it is. Harrison inhales, and on his exhale, unclasps the chain and drapes it around Lonan’s throat.

When the angel hits Lonan’s chest, a sound comes out of his mouth that Harrison thinks is almost animal. Harrison’s hand lingers on the back of Lonan’s neck when he clasps it, feeling the pulse of Lonan’s heartbeat, even from all the way up here.

Lonan clutches the angel when Harrison pulls back, and he doesn’t let go, even when Harrison rises.

“I’m going to grab a pack of cigarettes,” Harrison says. “Is there a gas station around here?”

“Just up the road.” Lonan’s brows furrow.

“Do you want anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

Harrison nods. Then he steps back, away from the kitchen, and slips his shoes on, one by one, more carefully than he’s ever done before. He knows Lonan looks at him. He knows what’ll be in his eyes if he looks up—and so he doesn’t. Harrison checks his jacket pocket for his car keys, and when they jangle, he turns toward the door.

“How long?”

Lonan’s voice makes him jump.

“Pardon?”

“How long will you be gone?”

Harrison frowns. “I’m just grabbing a pack of cigarettes.”

So Harrison’s reaction to everything being white and gold is my reaction to modern decoration loool this is just CNF at this point:

Harrison buys the pack of cigarettes. And then the gum. And then he finds his mother.

She isn’t hard to locate. A quick question at the checkout counter, and he finds out the apartment complex near the public garden is only a fifteen-minute drive away.

It’s just as he pictures it. A white building, with a white lobby, the bricks white, the carpets white, the tables white. In little places, there are bits of gold, in place he doesn’t think gold should be—lining the keyboard the security guard types at, on the edges of every window so it’s only visible when the sun flashes.   

And at last, here’s the final paragraph of the book!!! angst!!

His mother reads. Harrison watches. A father and son down below, who take turns walking their golden retriever. A food stand vendor that hands a stack of checked tissues to a mother wrangling four small children. A couple who take photos in front of a fountain, how he can almost hear the mechanical click of their camera from fifty feet up. Something stirs inside of him, at the thought of Lonan back in that golden apartment, and he only realizes what it is much later, when his mother is heating up something spiced and leftover in the microwave. The feeling like being buried alive and wanting to do it again just so someone can pull you out. A loneliness he sucks on until his mouth sores. 

And there it is!! This book has been so much fun to share with y’all! Thanks for reading these updates and for all the love for this novel. I haven’t written anything for book two in a while, and am now feeling nostalgic to do so, so keep an eye out for more Moth Work related endeavors! For now this is the end!

--Rachel

[ziamhaze]

Hi, I hope you're well! I just want to start off by thanking you for all the wonderful fics you have blessed me with!

I just finished Red vs. Black and was hoping you wouldn't mind answering some questions I have. As someone who risks his own life to save others, how does Liam justify being with someone he knows has killed innocent people? It'd be one thing if Zayn had only killed those directly involved with what happened to his family, but he's killed innocent civilians over minor inconveniences (such as the teenagers in the convertible). Does Zayn still think he is justified in doing so? Does he ever feel guilty about it? If not, how would Liam and Zayn be compatible if their moral compasses are so different?

Also, did Zayn's father ever make his way to the UK? Or was that just a lie he told Zayn to comfort him? Does Zayn ever find his family, especially his younger sister?

I know it's a lot, but I'd really love to hear your answers if you want to give them! Again thank you for all of your wonderful works!

So sorry it’s taken me this long to reply, but I didn’t forget!

To start I’d like to thank you for clicking, and finishing, Red vs. Black.  It isn’t the shortest of fics, nor is it the most delicate - to put it lightly.  For the latter alone, thank you.

These are such poignant, important questions.  Ones that are nearly word for word what I asked myself while planning the ending.

                         SPOILERS FOR ALL OF RED VS. BLACK

1)  How does Liam stay with Zayn after learning of all his senseless killings?

Honestly, I questioned this the most when feeling out the concept.  As a fic writer it’s expected of me to write not only a romance, but also a happy ending.  Of course fics exist that do neither, but they’re very rare and not exactly well-loved.  And truthfully, a massive point that I wanted to get across - and which in effect answers this question - is that despite people’s pasts, they cannot overcome them without being given the opportunity.  100%.  No ands, ifs, or buts.  For a prisoner to assimilate back into society and not go back to their old ways, they need to be trusted with a job.  With a salary (no matter how small), they need to trust themselves to be able to not buy anything that may contribute to poor habits: drugs, alcohol, weapons, gambling, a means of transport that will give them the ability to visit bad influences (more of a psychological thing, but still).  A lot of prisoners are never given this opportunity (especially in the United States), and therefore fall back into their old ways, which are more often than not coping mechanisms to deal with the fact that they can’t fit into society as easily as privileged people to begin with; it’s a terrible cycle.  However, there are plenty of success stories of those that truly wish to change and are lucky enough to stumble upon an employer or mentor or sponsor of some sort that hands them an inkling of hope/trust that they use to fight their way back up.  The fic is fantasy, and while Zayn’s story is rooted in real world PTSD, I think the prisoner analogy is easy for us to envision and therefore, understand why Liam acts the way he does.  I also made it a point in the last scene when they’re talking things out to have Liam voice his contingency: if Zayn so much as spits at anyone, he’s done for.  That’s to say, he’s not wiping his slate clean just yet.

2)  Does Zayn still feel his useless killings were justified?

I’m going to answer assuming that you’re referring to the time after the fic ends.

Looking back at his actions is something that would be inevitable when he starts therapy, and this is a perfect example of one of the questions his therapist would ask.  You may not like my answer, but as an author I find it imperative that I speak of my characters realistically and to keep them true, not how I want them to act.  That said, yes, Zayn would still find justification in why he’s done what he’s done.

There are a few instances in the story where this is actually explained.  Take the scene in the bar with fancy mixologists.  Zayn begins to get aggravated over the people in the room simply because they’re ignorant to the feeling of significant pain.  There’s also the scene where he’s back home in Cheshire and Harry straight out tells him, he may be furious at the unfairness of the world, but he needs to learn how to come to terms with it.  It’s not going to change.  This right here is what a therapist would work with him to do, and also why I had Harry be the one to bring this up in the story - he is one.

I know it sounds incredibly foreign to the average person, but trust me when I say that people struggling with anger problems founded in (un)fairness, exist.  I’ve spoken with professionals about it.  Add on crippling childhood PTSD and a villain like Zayn can definitely be born.  It’s why treatment is needed, and why the answer is ‘yes’ in the beginning of Zayn’s journey to peace.  When his answer switches over to ‘no’, that’s when it’ll be outwardly apparent that he’s beating his ailment.  Unfortunately, for many, the inner battle with mental health is lifelong; the answer ‘no’ will never turn solid.

3)  Does Zayn feel guilty about the above?

Again, there are a couple times when I write Zayn to literally mention how he feels zero guilt.  However, if you really really pay attention you’ll notice that these instances aren’t villain related.

For example, meeting Liam’s parents:

After handing his father and Zayn each their tea, Liam looks between them suspiciously. "Leaving the two of you in a room together was a bad idea."

"Don't know what you're on about," Geoff replies innocently. "We were just talking about cars, weren't we Zayn?" Even with all eyes on him, the pressure of lying doesn't get to Zayn. It never does.

"Yeah," he agrees, bringing his drink up to his lips carefully, "cars."

Or, after Zayn walks out from the comedy club:

"It takes a lot of courage to get up there and do something like that, don't you think?"

"Not really."

Liam looks to the side, hoping that he can interpret more from Zayn's answers by seeing the expressions that go with their frankness. "So if I signed you up, you would do it?"

"Why would I want to make a room full of strangers laugh?" Zayn retorts, his right eye scrunching up in distaste, like it's a mannerism of his provoked by moronic questions. "I don't have a superiority complex." Liam thinks he might, but. "I know I'm better than those people, no mediocracy to cover up here."

So we’ve got those, but then we’ve also got this massive character point:

Right as the last of the snake's body emerges, Zayn snaps his fingers, triggering heavy hip-hop music to flow through his headphones and drown out the man's blood curdling cry.

If he could permanently damage people who deserved it, not always because they did something to Zayn, but because he liked to play god and throw them a massive curveball like life had done to him, then why shouldn't he? So long as he pulls his soundproof headphones off the little robot on the inside of his right arm to avoid listening to the pain his choice brutality caused, there's no valid reason he shouldn't take advantage of the gift he was given.

From where he's sitting, he probably won't be able to hear anything, but he fastens the equipment over his ears just in case.

All at once, the atmospheric sounds of central London, mixed with the terrified screams of those in the burning building beneath them, hit Zayn at full force. The sensory overload alone would normally be enough to piss him off, but tack on his protection from audible trauma being taken and being spoken to while in villain mode, and he's seeing red as deep as the pits of hell he knows he's destined for.

I wrote Zayn’s headphone usage as a way to alert that the reader that he does, in fact, feel villain-related guilt.  He can’t act on his anger without them on.  He’ll have his victims screams stuck in his head, and he’d never be able to handle that a.k.a. there’s zero satisfaction from their literal pain.  Think about that and it’ll answer your follow-up question.

4)  What happened to Zayn’s family?

Zayn’s father meant what he said - he’d do whatever he needed to reunite his family.  That wasn’t a falsity at all.  The problem is money.  And politics, but let’s start with the issue of money.  It took Yaser nine years to save up the amount he paid to have Zayn and Waliyha smuggled across the border.  The whole concept of smuggling is that it’s a cheaper option than the legal one.  So if we look at this, you can see how long it would take him to save for three adult visa fees, three adult plane tickets, and enough to stay afloat for a month or so when they get to England.  Now add in the politics of the early 2000s and the Afghanistan/Pakistan region.  We know that Yaser fixed air conditioners for a living.  No person with that average of a background is going to have an easy time immigrating anywhere.  Even so, would it really take him over 18 years?  While it’s plausible, perhaps a man with such determination would find another way.  Or...was that unnecessary because he was fed lies?

Think about it.  After several weeks and no word from his children, don’t you think he’d cause a riot?  He’s the type to drive over to Badar’s house and demand his relatives get in contact with him to find out what’s going on.  But, given the flashback Zayn has, it’s obvious that Badar never planned on accompanying any of the children to the UK, and if that’s the case, he clearly couldn’t return to Quetta.  I imagine a fully rehearsed story was told to all of the children’s parents about how they were killed somewhere along the way.

As for Waliyha, her whereabouts were told to my gang over on Patreon a while ago.  In short, yes, she’s still alive and I plan on pitching the book’s sequel to publishers as a graphic novel series revolved around her location.  Louis’ dark web bot finally found a hint as to where that might be, so Zayn and Liam go on a journey across Europe to find her.  Each issue would (probably) take place in a new city and involve both fighting a single bad guy.

Just a quick reminder to anyone who reads this, Red vs. Black and all involved characters are my intellectual property and cannot be replicated, manipulated, or stolen.

Again, thank you for your question and time!  I know my fics aren’t short and take a huge time commitment to finish.  If you have any other questions, don’t hesitate to send them my way!  I’m super busy writing the next story and doing critical work, but I promise I’ll get around to it.

[winebleeds]

@stfreds​   sent    ❛         ​ hair for raleigh / hands for liz / build for jamie / feet for maddie !             ❜

⤑   ON THE BODY

putting this under a readmore bc you pick the body parts i think about the most for raleigh, liz, and jamie.

[hair]: length, colour, texture, whether it grows quickly or slowly, how manageable it is, whether it requires lots of styling, do they leave stray hairs everywhere, is it present on their face, is it present on the rest of their body, etc.

if i can sum his hair in one word, it’s curls. his hair has always been curly since his infanthood and it’s one of his distinguishing features that he won’t shave. while sometimes his hair is longer where it rounds his face (or be able to straighten it it’ll be down his shoulders), he usually just keeps it where the curls are visible. it’s a friendly look that makes him look even younger, especially on him, & it helps with trust in term at work. i think the few times he didn’t have curls was attempting that straight hair of the late 2000s before just giving up, & cutting it shorter at the start of med school. so, this would be the longer curls while this is the shorter end. oh, and though others in his family have curly hair (like his uncle sasha or his cousin shay having nearly curled waves when not straightening it), he does have the curliest of ringlets of all of them.

as for everything else about his hair, he’s the only one of his siblings to have dark hair, where it’s hard to tell if it’s brown or black. this is the hair color of his mother’s side, including his mother’s. so it made him stand out with his fair headed or red headed siblings & cousins around ellesmere; even brandon, with the darkest hair, was a much lighter brown compared to raleigh’s & only shay’s became just at dark when she dyed it. though the curls assist with the appearance of hair thickness, his hair is most definitely thicc. and dense, something easily felt whenever fingers brush through.

and! he loves when people touch his hair! he could just stay still for hours if someone brush their fingers into his hair. and it’s a reason why he prefers his hair longer; this motion doesn’t feel the same with shortest hair & fingers closer to the scalp. then, yes, he sheds a lot, like his husky. the amount of curls in the roomba should make someone question how he isn’t bald... considering his hair doesn’t look like it’s receding anytime soon... even with the grey curls wrapping around the dark ones. 

[hands]: are they large or small, do they have pianist’s fingers or short stubby ones, do they tend to get sweaty or are they always dry, is the skin rough or delicate, are the nails painted or chewed or sharp, etc.

for 5′2, her fingers are definitely longer than average! like, women taller by a few inches could have shorter fingers than her. they’re also very slender, like a ring size 6, so the piano fingers description fits here to a tee (despite... maddie & raleigh being the ones that played the piano). this style comes from her mother’s side, since her father’s side usually having the thicker, longer fingers built for strength. but her fingers are very useful in term of her job, being able to reach into smaller cervices and reaching further into them. her hand itself is on the thinner side, too, where the metacarpal bones protrude when she moves fingers. 

like the rest of her body, her fingers appear even longer by the way they’re postured and maintain. her hands are dry, even with applying lotion, really from work & years holding reins. touches can’t hide the faint callous that sight can hide. yet, perhaps of appearance, they’re overall delicate, maybe because of the neutral colors of her nail polish with the occasional red or navy or how short she keeps her nails looks proper, professional for her work. or they’re delicate because they’re sensitive. they enjoy touch, feeling the smooth surfaces of metal or the softness of clothes or the roughness of old book pages, the cold marble or warm skin. with her preference for textures, and feeling the world literally with her fingers as a child, it helped her become hands on.

[build]: are they skinny and petite or do they resemble a body builder, are they tall or short or average height, are they lean and wiry, are they overweight, are all of their features proportionate, etc.

surprise! jamie’s been both skinny & thicc! he’s been short & tall in times where he wished was taller for sports. if someone that only new jamie at 15 saw him at 25, they won’t recognize him. so i’ll go over high school jamie and then present jamie.

highschool jamie: definitely a skinny little twirp. at first, he was simply lean, where his muscles haven’t recovered from his childhood bouts of illnesses, even with the years of healthy activity. but muscles did begin to become notable on small arms. still, it was noted how he looked like he didn’t have fat (‘he must have worms’ would be a common southern whisper). he was also on the shorter end, being 5′7 at 15. none of this really seemed to bother him, with his quick feet and surprisingly upper arm strength made him a rising football player.

then, the summer between his junior and senior year hit. there were some hints of the growth spurt, with constantly eating, the growth of an inch in may, & his hands always being bulky & tough like his father’s side... and his damn face always looked like his father. but a couple months brought boarder shoulders as his height rose to six foot. his arms showed the evidence of muscles that always helped with him pulling hay all her life. this definitely brought more popularity his senior year, even homecoming king, and more interested for college scouts originally hesitate on his height in the spring. his confident had a growth spurt too, towards the sky. yet, this came at a price...

today, he’s similar to his high school body. strong, muscled, with boarder shoulders while not looking too big. while closer to a body builder built, he skin isn’t as tense on his skin. like, in terms of his faceclaims, his figure is closer to gregg but his the shoulders of ojc (jamie’s between their two heights too). so, i do think this image is closet to a body reference.

[feet]: do they have a habit of going up on their tiptoes, what’s their usual stance, do they tend to shift their weight to a preferred side, etc.

due to heels on her boots, i do see her putting more weight at the soles of her feet.  maddie does lean her weight between both sides of her body pretty equality, considering she bounces in place when on stage or getting excited. so that makes her feel lightweight on her feet, like she’s on clouds and quick to move. i think she gets on her tiptoes too bc of that.

[kanyniablue]

fic writer tag meme

i was almost finished when i lost this post TWICE!!! TWICE

tagged by america-oreosandkitkats, which tumblr is not letting me @ !  i love new updated tumblr!  it’s my favorite!

AO3 name: kat_blue, however i haven’t actually uploaded anything.  it was #newyearsresolution2020 to start uploading some writing, just to say “i’m D O N E im not going to touch it again” but...2020 got in the way

Fandoms: overwhelmingly hetalia where i set up camp back in 2010-2011 and never moved on, harry potter but only in headcanons/crossovers, Discworld but don’t test me, uh, The Outsiders, yes that book we read in middle school, Coco (2017) because im a corporate sellout

Tropes: 30 AU Pileup, Historical AU, 20 Minutes into the Past/Future, Gen, Enemies-to-Lovers, Friends-to-Lovers, Hookup-to-Something-More, Enemies-to-Lovers-But-They’re-Still Enemies, Unhealthy/Codependent Relationship (romantic, platonic, familial...), Breakup Fic, For Want of a Nail, Everyone’s Dead Dave/Tragic End, Postcredits Scene/whatever you’d call it when you write what would happen after canon says “the end,” Character Study (not sure if that’s a trope but it’s mostly what I write)

Number of fics: ...a bunch.  i write in several documents, some of which are inaccessable to me because of a computer crash.  i honestly have no idea

Fic I spent the most time on: considering it’s not even finished, Sun Down (WWI Prussia that was supposed to be PruHun but turned into an extended character study/war novel/just torturing the guy but he kind of deserves it) has been limping along for 2+ years...although mostly nowadays I just poke at it occasionally

Fic I spent the least time on: i have no idea, i’ve got a bad habit of coming back to a “finished” fic months or even years later and messing with it.  Maybe The Witch Dreaming, a weird little Nyo!EnglandxGreece fic that needed more notes explaining what it was about than it had actual words.  it was one of those *sudden inspiration* *scribble scribble scribble* “wait, what the fuck is this?” fics

Longest fic: Brother, Can You Spare a Dime (RusAme domestic fluff & death threats in the Great Depression/Stalinist USSR, burns so slow they barely manage to kiss right before WWII breaks out, ends badly) clocks in at roughly 21K and it’s not even half finished.  technically my main WIP but i don’t focus

Shortest fic: The World in the Palm of Your Hand, a tiny little Revolution!America character study, 147 words including its entire title?  i know i used to write drabbles & flashfics but that document is...problematic right now

Most hits/Most kudos/Most comment threads/Most bookmarks: yeaaaah, about that...see “haven’t uploaded anything.”  i think i uploaded a couple of fics to tumblr, possibly an old account, but if i did nobody ever read ‘em

Total word count: eeesh, probably at least 150K if we’re counting everything

Favorite fic I wrote: it changes but im still fond of Skin, a bunch of little spamano...vignettes? that i started back around 2014 and still enjoy, which isn’t something i say about a lot of my old writing

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: ...all of them.  if i have to choose probably Take the Long Way Home, a partially-finished NorwayxSouth Italy Human!ExchangeStudent!AU that i used to love back in its day of ~2012-2014 but now is very...dusty.  writing style changed a lot from what it was back then, lots of “new to the fandom” tropes, lots of “real humans don’t act like this it’s just more dramatic” plot holes...i could do a lot with rewriting it, i just generally work on more recent things and i leave it fossilized and occasionally say “but what if”

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on:  

Brother, Can You Spare a Dime:  What was supposed to happen was that they’d be met by the secret police at the train station, and U.S. Personification Alfred Jones would be arrested as a foreign spy.

What actually happened was that after giving up at the train station, one of Ivan’s bosses’ secretaries met them at the front of Ivan’s office building, where he waited and kicked his heel against the wall because he couldn’t light a cigarette without dropping America’s wrist and no amount of exasperated sighs from America was going to convince him it was safe to do so, and when the human secretary did get out there all he said was, “The police aren’t coming.”

Ivan closed his eyes.  “Why are the police not coming?”

“They say you seem like you’ve got it handled, Comrade Braginsky,” said the secretary.

“How am I supposed to handle him?” Ivan said through his teeth, waving America’s arm, “Keep a grip on him like he’s a child until they feel fit to interrogate him?”

<<Hi,>> said America sardonically.

The secretary pressed his lips thin.  “I don’t know, comrade.”

“He’s an American spy!”

“I am not being spy!” America said.  “Not!”

The human looked between them, then said to Russia, “I don’t know what else to tell you, Comrade Braginsky.  I don’t have the authority to override the chief of police.”

Slowly, Russia rubbed his eyes.  “...I know, comrade.  Very well.  Take down a message for me, will you?”

Russia’s bosses received a note, in lieu of Russia returning to work as he’d planned:  Have in custody suspected American spy, name of ALFRED JONES (note English spelling).  Contact American consulate as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, Russia would take America to the only place he knew he could keep an eye on the foreign nation.

--

[and then they were roommates.  I don’t know nearly enough about Soviet Russia to depict it with any amount of accuracy but I’m writing gay country anime boys, this isn’t the place to look for a documentary.]

i know a lot of people who follow me write fanfiction so if you do and you see this, you’re tagged!  let’s try to tag people who i know write:  @gothicmagpie @knowledgequeenabc @convenientalias uhh I don’t know how many of my other followers are both active & writers

[apopple]

august challenge task #3 – questionnaire

the basics

What is your celebrity’s full name?  Anna Katherine Popplewell

Do they have any nicknames? Go by any other names?  Popples, Mum, Mummy, Anna, Annie

What is their birthday? December 16, 1988

Where were they born?   London, England

Where were they raised?  London, England.

Where in Bayview do they live?  She lives in the suburbs.

How long have they lived in town?  Jun. 29, 2015

physical appearance

What is your celebrity’s general build?  Anna is 5’3”. She’s short and thin.  She does have a few curves thanks to the wonders of childbirth.  

What is their natural hair color? She has dark brunette hair.

If their hair color has changed, what is it now?  It’s the same as it has always been.

What is your celebrity’s eye color? She has blue eyes.

Do they wear glasses or contacts? Neither.

What is your celebrity’s best asset?  It’s definitely going to be her freckles.  She wears them loud and proud.

What is something they’re insecure about?  She’s always felt a little insecure about how short she is.

Do they have any piercings? Her ears are pierced.

How about tattoos? She doesn’t have any tattoos.

Any prominent scars with good stories behind them?  She has a c-section scar from when she gave birth to Benjamin. It’s faded a bit over the years but it’s still noticeable to her. She got a kid out of the deal so it’s definitely worth a scar.

Does your celebrity regularly wear make-up?  Anna pretty much doesn’t wear makeup aside from maybe a hint of tinted chapstick most days of the week. She will put on extra makeup if she’s going out to a nice dinner or dress up event though.

What’s their skincare routine like?  She prays to God she can have five seconds to wash her face and put a little moisturizer and toner on it.

How does your celebrity dress on the average, every day?  Anna has lots of jeans, pants and sweaters.  She loves a good sweater and legging combination in the winter.  

What about for more dress-up, formal days?  She has no problem wearing a nice dress. She doesn’t tend to show off a lot of skin but occasionally she will show a tease of it.  She’s not very flashy.

 the early years

What was your celebrity like as a child?  Anna was quiet, standoffish.  She’s always been focused and intelligent. As a child, she spent a lot of time in books. She started acting at a young age so it’s always been a part of her life.

How about the teen years?  She had some of her biggest films during her teen years. She had to divide her time between sets and studies. She and her parents wanted her to have as much of a normal life and education as possible. Just because her passion was for acting, it didn’t mean an education didn’t have value.

What kind of life did your celebrity have growing up? Anna grew up with two loving parents and a stable home environment. Her parents and siblings kept her grounded despite her early beginnings in the entertainment industry.

What were your celebrity’s goals as a younger person?   She’s pretty much always acted and wanted to act.  On a personal level, she wanted a great family and someone to love her unconditionally.

Is there a smell that reminds them of childhood?  That salty beach smell always makes her think about her grandparent’s cottage.

How about a favorite movie, TV show or toy?   She’s always been very much a book girl.

What advice would your celebrity give to their younger self?  Don’t be afraid to take chances, they’ll pay off in the end.

Did your celebrity play any sports growing up?   She’s always been surrounded by rugby and soccer. She can hold her own in some footie even if she’s never played it on a competitive team for anything more than charity.

 the family tree

Who is in their immediate family?  She is happily married to Bradley James and they have two incredible boys Benjamin and Augustus. She also considers their cats Lola, Arthur and Ziggy part of the family.  

What’s their extended family like? This would include her parents and siblings Freddie and Lulu plus all of Bradley’s family.  She had several cousins and is lucky enough to still have a living grandfather who regularly sends over the top gifts for the boys.

What does family mean to your celebrity?  Family is truly something special and is meant to be cherished.  She believes in being loyal and protective of family.  They are everything to her.

Are they close to their family in general?  She considers herself close with her family even though they are far, far away beyond her immediate family.

Who in their family are they closest to?  In her extended family, it would probably be Lulu. There is a sisterly bond that just never ends.

Does your celebrity have any children?  Yes,  the two sons mentioned above.

If they do not have children, do they want any someday?   N/A

If they do have children, do they want more children?  Anna and Bradley sort of put a pause on the children thing for a while but they’ve been talking about adding to the family a bit lately.  There is definitely room for more children in their household though maybe just one more. Truthfully though, they’d be happy with any children they have planned or not.  If they only end up with the two they currently have, Anna would be grateful they were blessed with them even if she would be a little sad to never get to try her hand at having a little girl.

 love and friendships

Is your celebrity currently in a relationship?  She’s married.

What is the longest relationship your celebrity has ever been in?   It’s safe to say that after  five years, her husband is the longest relationship she’s ever had.  

If it’s not their current relationship, why did it end?   N/A

What’s the shortest relationship your celebrity has ever been in?  She dated a guy for a few months once.

If it’s not their current relationship, why did it end?   It just wasn’t a good fit.

Is your celebrity into PDA, or more private?   Anna is definitely someone who tends to keep a lot of her life private though she doesn’t mind holding hands of showing affection toward her husband or children in public.  She isn’t going to take it too far out in the open though.  What she does when she doesn’t think people are looking is a different story all together.

How do they display affection to others?   She absolutely dotes on the people she loves. Sometimes that means making special meals just because she knows that they like it.  She will go above and beyond to make sure the people in her life have what they need. She also tells them regularly how much she loves them.  

What is your celebrity’s current sex life like?   It’s pretty good despite the fact there is always a child calling for mom or dad.   They make time for it even if it is a quickie while the boys are taking a nap.

What sort of relationship does your celebrity look for?    Anna likes feeling safe and secure.  There always have to be agreement but there has to be a certain level of compromise on disagreements. It’s about give and take.  More than anything it’s just a natural feeling of desire to be near someone and she’s always had that with Bradley.

Do they feel happiest when they’re in a relationship, or single?   She can’t imagine life any other way than with her family at this point so I guess relationship.

What does your celebrity look for in their friendships?   It is important to her that her friends and she share a mutual level of respect and honestly.  Life is busy when there are children involved so it is vital that they understand that she cannot always go out and do the things she did before she had children. She just wants people who will make her laugh and that she can have meaningful conversations with.

Are they the type of person to have a small group of friends, or large?  She has a lot of friends but sort of prefers small groups.

In friendships, is your celebrity more of the giver or taker?  She is a giver.

Has your celebrity ever had to end a friendship with someone?  She had grown apart from people, mostly because they didn’t fit well in each other’s life.

 the things that they do

What does your celebrity do for a living? She is an actress.

If they could choose any other career, what would it be?  She’d probably have ended up a writer.

When growing up, what did they want to do? She’s always wanted to act.

Do they enjoy their current job? There is nothing better than being an actress and a mom.

What about hobbies, what do they like to do?  She enjoys fingerpainting with the boys, playing in the backyard, going on walks, reading books and sneaking in a little romance with her husband when they can.

As far as school goes, how far did they take their education? She completed University.  

If they had to go (back) to school, what would it be for?  Maybe she’d get her Masters in Fine Arts.

 the fun stuff

Are there phrases or words your celebrity uses a lot?  “Not the walls”.

Would you say they’re optimistic or pessimistic? She is an idealistic, realist.  Somewhere in the middle.

How about introverted or extroverted? She is introverted for the most part.

Do they have any really bad habits? She sometime eats crisps in bed and leave crumbs. She also loves putting her cold feet on her husband.

What is something that always makes them laugh? When the boys throw fits over ridiculous things.

And something that always makes them cry?  When someone she cares about it hurting.

How would your celebrity like to be seen by others?  She would like to be seen as good wife and mother.

And how do they feel others actually see them?  Hopefully as good wife and mother.

What are some of their strongest (positive) traits?  She is nurturing, kind and intelligent.

What are some of their weakest (negative) traits?  She can be a bit neurotic at times, critical when she completely disagrees with something and come off as cold but is just a little closed off sometimes around people she doesn’t know well.

How do they react when someone pays them a compliment?  She would be humble but grateful.

But how do they react to criticism? She would try and not to let it bother her but accept it for what it is.  

What is your celebrity’s biggest fear? Something horrible happening to Bradley or the children.

Are they more of an indoors or outdoors person? She’s a homebody.

What are some of their pet peeves?   People who always try and upstage other people in their big moments.  

Are they the type of person to fight with violence or words?  She isn’t a fighter. She’d prefer to just let people be  but if she had to do something, it would be words.

What is your celebrity’s favorite day of the week?   She doesn’t really have a favorite. They are all good for different reasons.

Are they more of a book or movie type of person? She would rather read a book than watch a movie any day of the week.

Is your celebrity more of a hoarder or a minimalist? She’s probably closer to hoarder especially when books but she keeps a tidy house.

How is your celebrity with technology?  She can do what needs to get done but she really isn’t the keen on social media. It’s just such a negative place.

[sugarandspace]

Love Spells in the Nightless Night

AO3

Summary: Magnus takes Alec out on a date where Alec learns about magic and ends up thinking about their future.

-.-.-

Alec feels like his steps are getting lighter and lighter the closer he gets to the loft in Brooklyn. It’s just past 4pm on a Saturday, and he’s more than happy to leave the Institute behind and spend the rest of the weekend with his boyfriend.

It’s a warm day, the sun is shining from a cloudless sky while a small breeze is making it a little easier to bear. Alec briefly regrets his clothing choice - a black t-shirt and equally dark jeans don’t seem to be the most comfortable attire in this heat - but he’ll manage. It is a small relief when he steps into the air-conditioned building and takes the elevator ride upstairs.

Alec has witnessed enough people to just barge into Magnus’ apartment without as much as knocking on the door that he knows he could do it too, but there’s always been a part of Alec that has considered it disrespectful. The apartment is as much Magnus’ home as it is the place where he offers his help to those in need, and an unlocked door shouldn’t be synonymous to being allowed in.

So Alec always knocks and waits for Magnus to open the door, and without a fail Magnus’ expression turns into a smile whenever he sees that it’s Alec on the other side of the door. It’s a small thing but it makes Alec feel so welcome, and he’s happy to see that just his presence is enough to make Magnus smile.

He knows the feeling, as is proved when his own lips turn to a smile as his boyfriend opens the door.

“Alexander!” Magnus greets, stepping to the side to allow Alec in. “Come on in. I’m almost ready.”

Alec does as he’s told, stepping inside and turning to Magnus as he closes the door behind him. He greets his boyfriend with a kiss because even though it hasn’t been that long since they last saw each other, he has still missed him. Magnus reciprocates the kiss but steps away before it has a chance to turn deeper.

“Let me go change my clothes and then we can go,” he says, patting Alec’s chest with one hand before turning and walking to the direction of the bedroom.

“Where are we going?” Alec asks, staying in the foyer. When Magnus answers his voice is slightly muffled by the walls.

“I’m not telling you,” Magnus says with a tone that Alec knows the matching smile for. It’s half mischief and half excitement. “It’s a surprise.”

Before he got together with Magnus, Alec could honestly say that he hated surprises. He hadn’t exactly had a good history with them and the word surprise used to cause a feeling of tread rise up in him. Now however, after a couple of months of dating Magnus, the word had earned itself a happier meaning. Magnus seemed to know Alec, and know what kind of surprises the Shadowhunter would enjoy and what would make him uncomfortable. Alec trusted Magnus, and that’s why he just rolled his eyes to the word surprise.

“At least tell me if I’m dressed accordingly,” Alec asks as he sees Magnus step out of the bedroom wearing jeans similar to Alec’s and a long sleeved shirt made of some kind of silky material, with gold embroidery and loose fit. Alec has no idea if this is Magnus dressing down or dressing to impress, all he knows is that his boyfriend looks amazing, and he says as much.

“You look beautiful,” he says, the words coming out of his mouth almost on their own. His eyes sweep over Magnus more than once, and when they settle to his face again Alec notices him smiling.

“Thank you,” Magnus says and pecks Alec on the cheek on his way past. “As do you my love, and that outfit is perfect for what I have planned for us.”

Alec watches as Magnus walks to the drawer near the door and grabs a bag from on top of it, lifting it to his shoulder so the strap is draped across his body. The bag is on the larger side, and Alec wonders what it is hiding inside.

“Should I bring a jacket?” Alec asks. He didn’t bring one with him from the Institute, but he’s positive he has left at least one of his jackets to Magnus’ loft. That seems to be the case with a lot of his clothes these days. The drawer Magnus gave him from his bedroom has quickly filled with Alec’s clothes, for it seems like Alec is spending most of his free time with Magnus and at the loft.

Alec doesn’t dare think about what it could mean.

“No, a t-shirt is fine,” Magnus says, walking to Alec and taking his hand. “I checked the weather report and it should be sunny where we’re going.”

Alec just nods, trusting Magnus’ word and returning the hold on his hand. “Are we going now?”

“Yes,” Magnus confirms and waves his free hand in a familiar motion, creating a portal that will take them to their mystery destination.

Alec has gotten more used to portal traveling, but the abrupt change from a swirling portal to the solid ground leaves him stumbling a bit on his landing. But Magnus - ever graceful even in this situation - reaches over to steady him.

“Where are we?” Alec ask, looking around himself. They are standing on a small dirt road, wide enough to fit one car. There are fields on both sides of the road, filled with some kind of grain that’s softly moving in the warm wind. There’s no one else in sight, and the only building he can see is a small red shed on the corner of a field on their right.

“In northern Finland,” Magnus says, taking Alec’s hand and starting to walk along the road. There’s a forest bit further away in front of them and it prevents Alec from seeing further. “In Lapland. To be precise in a small village just above the northern hemisphere.”

“Why did you take me here?” Alec asks, his tone curious as he keeps looking around himself.

They’ve been to countless different places on their dates. Busy cities, calm islands, remote forests. Alec never really knows what is the exact reason that makes Magnus choose a location. Sometimes it is because he wants to show Alec a classic tourist-y place, sometimes it is to bring him to a restaurant Magnus vows makes the best pasta in the world. Some places bring Alec out of his comfort zone, while some are chosen to give them a place to relax. This place seems to fit to the last category, for all Alec can hear is the sound of birds as they are flying above them and hiding in the lone birch trees on the sides of the road.

“Did you know that it is currently almost midnight local time?” Magnus asks, not answering Alec’s question but Alec is too thrown off to call him out on it.

“Midnight?” Alec asks, looking at his boyfriend and raising his eyebrows. He takes another look at the sky where the sun is shining brightly, much like it was in New York.

“Yes,” Magnus says, and Alec’s focus is shifted back to him. Magnus keeps looking forward and Alec looks at his profile while he starts explaining. “They call it a nightless night, which is a fitting wording in my opinion. It is summer solstice tonight, which means the day is the longest it is in the whole year and the night is the shortest. Somewhere, like in here, the sun doesn't set at all. I wanted to bring you here earlier but I decided to wait until tonight. While the nightless nights aren’t limited to summer solstice, tonight holds the strongest powers when it comes to magic. I assumed you wouldn’t mind it if I collected some ingredients while we’re here.”

“Of course not,” Alec says, looking at the bag Magnus had brought with him. “What kind of ingredients do you need?”

Alec loved learning about magic and could probably spend their whole date listening to Magnus while he talks about different ingredients and what they are for. He knew that Magnus was a powerful warlock with a special skill set when it came to potions, but he was still left impressed every time it was obvious how much Magnus really knew about the subject.

“Plants,” Magnus explained, letting go of Alec’s hand as he apparently spotted one he needed. “Different flowers and leaves. Don’t worry, I didn’t ask you to come with me so that you could help me hunt frogs or flies.”

Alec rolls his eyes at his boyfriend’s teasing and watches as Magnus crouches down on the side of the road. He picks up several different flowers, blue ones, yellow ones, and white ones. The flowers look beautiful and it looks like Magnus is collecting a bouquet. It’s funny to think that those flowers hold powers the mundanes can’t even imagine.

Magnus puts the flowers into his bag and they continue walking. Every once in a while Magnus leaves the road and picks up a different kind of plant or a flower.

“Midsummer is one of the oldest celebrations they have in here,” Magnus explains. “It has roots in the old religion and it’s been celebrated for centuries, but it has of course changed its shape over the years.”

“Have you celebrated it many times?” Alec asks. It’s obvious Magnus has been to this place before since they were able to portal here, and Alec wonders how many years ago that was and how often he’s been here.

“Yes and no,” Magnus answers. “Usually I like to take advantage of the powers summer solstice gives, for example by collecting ingredients. Foretelling spells are always the strongest on this night as well, but those have a habit of being more trouble than they’re worth, so I’ve rarely messed with them. But I have also been to a celebration or two in my lifetime.”

“What other magical powers does this night hold?” Alec asks, curious to learn more.

“There are a lot of old spells that are focusing on either getting a good harvest or having luck in marriage. For example the people used to think that if you were to roll around naked on a meadow that’s wet with dew, you would have luck in marriage. You could also see your future spouse if you looked into a well or a pond in the middle of the night, preferably naked.”

“Do all of these spells require nudity?” Alec asks, an affronted look on his face.

“A lot of them do,” Magnus nods and laughs a little. “ But you can also see them on a dream if you sleep with your left sock on backwards.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Alec says, shaking his head.

“Hmm,” Magnus muses. “Perhaps it doesn’t. Some of these spells are more for fun than they’re actually for achieving something. But there are more serious spells as well, traditions that are still carried on even centuries later.”

“For example?” Alec asks as Magnus lets go of his hand again to reach to the hanging branches of the birch next to the road, taking out a handful of leaves.

“A bathing whisk made of birch branches or herbs is believed to bring health to those who use it in the Midsummer sauna,” Magnus explains before his expression changes to half suggestive as he realises something. “Ooh Alexander, remind me to take you to sauna one day. Sadly we don’t have time for that tonight for I have something else planned for us.”

Magnus actually looks disappointed when he says that, and Alec has a feeling this is a thing Magnus will remember and bring up later. Alec doesn’t have time to reply before Magnus is talking about the traditions again, just like he never stopped.

“Young trees are cut down to decorate the doorways to appease the good spirits in the home,” he says as he puts the leaves into his bag and returns to Alec’s side. “It is arguable how much of that is the magic’s doing, and how much is just a coincidence, but still the traditions remain.”

“Do you have a favorite spell or tradition?” Alec asks.

“If we’re still talking about the old spells -” Magnus starts, saying the word spell with an emphasis that shows that they are quite different to the spells Magnus uses daily. “- I quite like the tradition that excessive drinking is encouraged, since the loud celebrations scare away the bad spirits.”

“Right,” Alec says and rolls his eyes. “Does it bother you? These silly things the people call spells, when the real spells are something more serious and difficult? Something that shouldn’t be made fun of.”

“Quite the opposite, actually.” Magnus says and picks up a few more flowers from the edge of the field, near a ditch that’s separating it from the forest. “I find it admirable how instead of treating magic as something to fear or hate, it is celebrated and admired.”

“ I guess that makes sense,” Alec admits, remembering Magnus’ story about how he once almost got caught and was burned at a stake. The story was told in passing, as a joke rather than a serious conversation, and to this day Alec isn’t sure if Magnus was telling the truth or if it was one of his wild stories that’s at least 50% imaginative details. He should bring it up someday.

But he doesn’t want to ruin the lovely evening - or night, should he say - with a conversation that has the potential to turn serious. He reaches for Magnus’ hand again, happy to notice that his boyfriend’s fingers have turned slightly green from all the plants he’s collected.

Alec lifts their hands to his lips and places a soft kiss to the back of Magnus’ hand.

They reach the forest and the air turns colder, the sun shadowed by tall trees. The temperature change is noticeable, but it’s not enough to make Alec miss his jacket just yet.

“Midsummer night is rumored to be the perfect opportunity to see will-o'-the-wisps floating in the forests,” Magnus speaks after a moment of peaceful silence. “It is believed that one can find a treasure from underneath one.”

“Is the rumor true?” Alec asks, curious to know if this is just one of those old myths or if this one actually holds some truth.

“It is hard to say,” Magnus muses. “No one has ever been able to prove that they’ve seen a will-o'-the-wisp, but we can’t exactly prove that they aren’t real, either. Some believe that those little fires are souls of the deceased, holding their lanterns while roaming the earth. Some believe they lure people into danger. Until we meet one, we can’t be completely sure about whether or not they exist at all.”

Alec ponders Magnus’ words for a moment until he lets out a breath that sounds oddly like a laugh. The smile on his face widens.

“What?” Magnus asks, smiling while he looks at Alec curiously.

“A Midsummer miracle,” Alec explains. “You admitted that you don’t know something.”

Magnus turns his head forward as he laughs as well, teasingly bumping his shoulder to Alec’s.

“I didn’t say that I don’t know if they are real,” he defends himself. “I simply stated that I know that their existence is arguable.”

“Right,” Alec replies and squeezes Magnus’ hand tighter, pulling him closer.

After a few more steps Magnus seems to spot something in the forest, for he lets go of Alec’s hand and walks off the road again, jumping over a shallow ditch to get to the trees.

“They say that a fern will only bloom on a Midsummer’s night,” Magnus says and kneels down to cut a few long leaves. “It’s not actually true, though. The fern doesn’t bloom, but its magic is the most potent on the night of summer solstice. Those with the sight could sometimes see it emit little bursts of magic and thus a legend was born.”

Magnus puts the leaves into his bag and hops back on the road again. He stumbles a bit when he lands, and Alec steadies him by placing both hands on Magnus’ shoulders.

“Thank you,” Magnus says with a smile, leaving a quick kiss to Alec’s lips while he’s close enough.

The kiss makes Alec smile as well.

Their hands find each other’s again as they continue their walk. It doesn’t take long before Alec can hear the sound of people talking in the distance, and judging by the amount of different tones it sounds like there’s quite a group of them in there, wherever Alec and Magnus are currently walking to.

“Where are you taking me?” Alec asks, his voice more curious than it is wary. He’s learnt not to worry, trusting Magnus to know where they are going. He knows that if he were to ask to leave, they would do it in a heartbeat, portaling home with no more questions asked. However, they’ve been to several dates like this, and Alec is yet to ask to leave.

“You’ll see,” Magnus replies simply.

As they walk further, Alec can see that the forest is ending. The dirt road widens into a small parking space that’s occupied by quite a few cars. He can’t understand a word of what they’re saying, but the sound of people gets louder, and soon Alec sees them.

They’ve arrived at a lake, but rather than seeing sand and clear water, the ground is grassy and marked by dirt paths that show where people have walked the most. There are several little docks reaching to the large lake, some of them obviously newer while some are crooked and look seconds away from collapsing. There are small boats on each little dock - rowing boats and boats with small cabins. Where there isn’t a dock, the shore is lined by reeds and water lilies.

It’s not fancy by any means, and the feeling it gives is so different to New York that it's almost overwhelming.

After taking in their surroundings, Alec pays more attention to the people around them and he notices that the shore is filled with people of all ages.

A gray headed couple is leaning to their bicycles, looking at the lake. There are several families here, with the kids running around their parents’ legs while the adults are chatting away happily.

Alec spots a couple, a young woman and a man, standing a bit away from them and his eyes linger on the dark runes he can see on their skin. Local Shadowhunters. His eyes connect with the woman and a flash of recognition is apparent on her eyes. She must see his runes, and Alec can only assume that the curious expression that takes over her face is because there’s no matching runes on Magnus’ skin. The woman can’t see that Magnus is a warlock, but she can see that he’s not a Shadowhunter either.

There’s no disgust on the woman’s face, just pure curiosity, but Alec still makes a point to tighten his grip on Magnus’ hand and to pull him closer.

It breaks his heart a little that his first instinct is to be defensive.

Magnus must notice, because he squeezes Alec hand momentarily, pecking his cheek to get his attention away from the woman that’s now continuing the conversation she was having with two other people. Alec’s grip on Magnus’ hand loosens, and he sends his boyfriend an apologetic smile which is brushed away by Magnus’ soft lips on his, perhaps the most effective way to take Alec’s attention. Alec focuses back on the people around them, ready to glare at anyone who would dare to look at them in the wrong way.

It’s not like the crowds in New York. There’s probably 30 persons max. - not a big group but enough to leave the small shore filled with people. It is obvious that most of these people know each other, at least by the name, as they greet each other with wide smiles.

Alec can see a few of them look at him and Magnus and it doesn’t surprise him. They are outsiders in the group and they must be sticking out. But the looks don’t bother him, for they are not unfriendly. Just curious.

“What’s this?” Alec asks, looking at the group of people gathered at the shore.

“Summer solstice celebrations,” Magnus says, leading Alec further along the shore, where there’s less people. They find a large rock and sit on top of it, facing the water. The rock is warmed by the sun. “They call it ‘Midsummer’ or ‘juhannus’ in their language. A lot of countries celebrate is as a celebration of the middle of summer.”

There’s a pile of wood on an islet that’s a bit away from the shore, and Alec watches as two old men hop into a rowing boat, making their way towards it. One keeps the boat steady while the other pours what must be gasoline to the pile, followed by a match that lights the bonfire aflame.

“It is to keep the bad spirits away,” Magnus says from next to Alec. His tone is quiet as if not to break the calm that has fallen over them. The sound of the group is quieter as well, as the people are focused on the fire.

Alec feels Magnus place an arm around his shoulders, and Alec’s own arm slips around Magnus’ waist. After a while the sound of the people gets louder again, but it’s simply background noise to the two men who seem to be caught in their own bubble.

Alec takes in a deep breath, the air feeling moist and smelling of smoke. His fingers stroke Magnus’ hip softly where they rest, and Alec thinks that he would be perfectly content to stay in the moment for however long they can.

It’s a new skill he’s learnt, the ability to appreciate these calm moments without feeling the need to fill them with things he thinks he should be doing. None of those things matter now, when he’s got Magnus there next to him. Not every moment they spend needs to be filled with some kind of activity, and Alec does no longer feel like he should be accomplishing things or his time would be wasted.

With how different their lives are, thoughts of time always have a heavier weight than they have in most relationships. But Alec knows that he appreciates these moments just as much as he appreciates those where they are up and about traveling the world or walking the streets of New York.

After a while Magnus digs into his bag, taking out several flowers and pieces of hay. He keeps the flowers on his hand while the other casts a spell over them. Alec looks around them quickly to make sure that no one is looking, and when he looks back at the flowers they have rearranged into a shape of a flower crown.

“Seven different flowers, tied with nine straws of hay,” Magnus explains as he reaches to place the crown on top of Alecs head.

Alec leans down to make it easier for Magnus. It’s like an instinct, even though he knows that if his siblings were to see him now they would never let him forget this. But they aren’t here, and maybe he loves the adoring look Magnus sends his way once the crown is securely on top of his head.

“The old superstition says that if you place a crown like this under your pillow on a Midsummer’s night, you’ll dream of the person you’ll spend the rest of your life with,” Magnus says, a smiling at Alec softly when he explains yet another old spell that might or might not hold any truth.

It doesn’t matter if it does, though. Not to Alec.

“I already dream of you most nights,” Alec says easily. “I don’t need magic for that.”

He knows the honesty of his words is reflected in his tone and his expression, because he sees the by now familiar emotion cross Magnus' face before his lips lift to a small smile. It's the same flash Alec sees each time he says something like this, something he knows to be true and that he somehow manages to make sound romantic.

And Alec realises then, how lucky he is to have Magnus. He doesn't need love spells or ways to predict his future, because he's already found the man he wants to marry one day.

And there, under the midnight sun, for the first time in their relationship Alec lets himself entertain the idea of a different future, where the time won’t be their enemy anymore.

[szopenhauer]

When was the last time you wore your favourite article of clothing? I like most of my clothes

Do your parents smoke? no

Do you live close to a park? forest

Is your favourite animal endangered? raccoons aren’t but elephants are :(

How many pens can you see from where you’re sitting? 6 

What language do you think you’d fail at? french and asian ones

Do you still have a landline phone at your house? but we don’t use it

Do you carry pain relievers with you at all times? nope

Where is your mother right now? in the living room with my dad

What was the last thing to make you smile? not sure what was last

What would you do if you got home and you saw your house had been destroyed? omg don’t feed my paranoia :o

Would you slap the last person you talked to for twenty dollars? nah

Do you know anyone who gives way too many hugs? they give as much as they need 

What are some positive things, realizations or habits that came out of quarantine for you? long story, it’s complicated

How do you feel about people who are “workaholics”? Would you consider yourself one?  I don’t like them, most of them only care about money and not at all about health or loved ones, I’m not ambitious or a workaholic

What could you spend less money on? trinkets

How would you describe yourself as a friend? What value would you say you bring to your friends? it’s up for them to say/judge

In psychology they say that our romantic relationships are an extension of our relationships with our parents, and that we tend to choose our partners based on whatever was lacking in our childhood, or that we are attracted to traumas and sufferings that are familiar to us rather than the unknown. Can you relate to this? umm...

Can you tell when you are not well-liked? What do you do when you feel someone is not particularly fond of you?  I’m not surprised, I’m used to the fact ppl don’t like me that I assume they don’t until they tell me, repeteadly, that they actually do (which rarely happens and doesn’t last long), I avoid/ignore those who hate me most

How would you say your preference in movies or TV shows changed from when you were a teenager vs. now? used to watch only movies for kids at first

Apart from price and location, what are some deciding factors when choosing a house for you? smell, bath and balcony mostly

What emotion is the hardest for you to express?  how grateful I am if that counts - when it comes to gifts and/or compliments etc.

How do you feel about job interviews? Are you good at negotiation? I do well but I still don’t get a job because of lack of experience; I only failed one interview in my life but I didn’t even want to work there, UP sent me to call center and boss asked me questions about the job I was going to get but they didn’t tell me what it’s about so I didn’t know much and I was in my snow boots (as it was winter) to my elegant clothes so I looked dumb and I forgot that I can’t leave the building on my own as they had special card keys and I tried to open door like crazy until someone saved me - that was awkward...

How many cars have you ever owned? 0

Can you do math in your head well? I need my fingers

What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house? laundry and cooking, not that I like chores in general haha 

What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? salt, also liked becon in the past

Do you ever read the weather forecast? pfft 

Do amusement park rides make you sick? I worry they would so I don’t risk it

Have you ever cheated on a test? in high school, especially math, elseway I would fail 

Is your next birthday coming up soon? next year

Do you have any bumper stickers on your car? I’d buy some if I had a car but I don’t drive

Do you leave good tips when you eat out at restaurants? I don’t tip, why? we don’t tip postmen and/or nurses etc.

What’s your favorite thing to eat at bbqs? not a BBQ food person

Do you still own any VHS tapes? we still keep ‘em

How many jobs have you had? I tried some jobs but never really had one

If there was a real Jurassic Park, would you visit it? no thx

How many friends do you have that are married? from all of my ex best friends only Ula, Sandra and John are married, Dorota was already divorced when I met her 

Did you have a swing set in your yard when you were a child? didn’t trash it, used it this summer

You’re making a fruit salad: what kinds of fruit do you put in it? I don’t eat fruit salads

Do you prefer to drink from glasses or mugs? mugs, glasses are dangerous, I remember them breaking from heat like they were exploding or smth - scary

Is it weird to hear your name in movies or TV shows? it is, when an evil or stupid character has my name it makes me mad

What kind of kid were you when you were seven? very good student, angel, clumsy, naive, wearing “ugly clothes”, the only girl with long hair at the point, petite, wanted other kids to like me so I tried to impress them (but didn’t blindly followed everything they were doing though), not as shy as my mom tought, didn’t know how to tell jokes, still happy but slowly becoming depressed due to family issues, bullying, money and health problems

Is there a subject you know so much about that you’d be able to teach it? sigh... Where did you purchase the computer you’re using right now? Media markt  Do you think it’s fair to compare Family Guy to The Simpsons? The Simpsons are better, I dislike Family Guy, wasn’t there an episode where they mixed both of those shows?...

Do you have pockets in anything you are wearing currently? I do not usually

How loudly can you burp? I’m more of a quiet burp/fart person

How many different letters are in your full name? 12

Do you like making bets? occasionally

Have you ever had a ‘falling’ dream? I don’t wake up, I just fall and crash on the floor then I lay there and it hurts

Do you do anything weird in your sleep? possibly

How long are your fingers? my longest finger is 7 cm and my shortest is 4 cm

Do you like bumper cars? whatever

What color is the book nearest to you? dark colors - black, purple, red, grey...

Can you lick your elbow? I can

How old were you when you said your first word? ask my parents

Can you sit the way people sit when they meditate? yep

Do you like the autumn? if it’s not too cold and snowy

Would you rather have a hippo or rhino dropped on you? doesn’t matter but at this point in 2020 I can expect that to happen

Have you ever cried in front of a teacher? in elementary, in high school I cried but she didn’t notice as I tried to hide that - it was one of two moments through all high school that I cried - to było wtedy kiedy Pepe zabrał mój temat na maturę, na który przygotowywałam się od 5 lat i dostałam w zamian jakieś gówno, a drugi raz płakałam bo musiałam zapłacić za brak biletu w autobusie mimo, że go miałam tylko legitymacja szkolna nie była podbita bo akurat wówczas byłam w szpitalu i nikt mnie nie powiadomił, że powinnam to nadrobić i strasznie się zmartwiłam, że nie mam kasy i staram się jak mogę, a i tak coś zawsze się spierdoli (bo czemu ludzie sobie jeżdżą bez biletu serio cały czas, a mimo to “złapali” akurat mnie?), jeszcze musiałam pojechać przystanek dalej przez to jak mnie spisywali i prawie spóźniłam się na zajęcia :(

Have you ever cried BECAUSE of a teacher? who haven’t? srsly

Do you do a :) or a (:? :) (: is creepy

Are paper clips fun to play with? meh

Do you prefer mechanical pencils or regular pencils? regular

Is your alarm clock set right now? good idea :o

Are you itchy right now? slightly which is normal to me

Do you have anything on your wrists? not right now

Why are you so awesome? :) I’m not...

so how are you today? I thought I will feel worse before going to hospital so won’t complain

when was the last time you had a cup of tea? long time ago

who’s the most recent person on your Facebook feed? (if you have it) my annoying sister >.<

when (if ever) was the last time you saw that person? week ago

how do you feel about wolves? great animals

do you use pinterest? started new account this month

should you be doing something else right now? packing but whenever I pick up one thing to put into the bag I get a panic attack

bye :) bye...

[playquiz]

What is a good thing about sleeping anyway?

"People who say they sleep as a toddler usually don't have a toddler." Leo J. Burke

I wholeheartedly believe supported learning experience. If you haven't tried anything, how does one know if it works or not? For several years I used to be curious to understand how my body skilled some nutritional and training interventions, and that I recently started trying easy ways to "penetrate" my systems using technology within the sort of tools and applications.

Being the most unaffected copy of yourself requires tons of trial and error. We, humans, are complex beings, and that we are all different on the within as we are on the surface, so what works on behalf of me may have the other effect on you. I also love the system-based scientific approach to biology and physiology, not "well that ought to be true because I read it during a magazine" or was endorsed by a star or athlete. What involves us within the sort of food, scenes, thoughts, muscle stimulation, and sounds determines what comes out���our behavior, performance, memory, and health. If we would like to return up with something useful / better, we'd like to enter something good / better. Three of the foremost critical areas you'll specialize in when it involves self-experiences and breakthroughs in your health are food, sleep, and stress... Why? Because even small changes in each of those areas can have immediate and exciting effects on your life. I will primarily specialize in the sector of sleep, and more specifically, I will be able to test natural and cheap methods supported science to enable me to enhance the standard and quantity of my sleep. I will be able also to examine some recommended technology to ascertain how effective it's. I have been using the sleep tracker for over a year now, and although it hasn't helped me get more sleep or better sleep, it's made me more conscious of the small I'm already getting and the way different situations affect my height and depth of rest. The info I will be able to collect also still will be useful on behalf of me to work out the effectiveness of the methods that I shall develop over the subsequent month. What is good at sleeping, anyway? Let's check out this from the opposite angle. What's bad about not getting enough sleep? It's quite direct effects like bad moods, lack of focus or other signs that you simply feel exhausted, like feeling emotional, hungry, and ragged. Sleep deprivation can have severe consequences for your long-term physical health. Here is that the frightening side of lack of sleep Stroke risk According to research, even without typical risk factors, like weight gain or having a case history, lack of sleep can increase the danger of stroke. Contributes to obesity Lack of sleep can cause you to gain weight! Really? Perhaps "if you postpone you lose" it seems like a true saying after hearing this. Sleep is essential if you would like to lose fat or maintain a slim body. Insufficient sleep can contribute to some less-than-ideal food options, including serving more food and looking for fast meals, because of some complex hormonal changes that happen once you aren't getting enough food. Sleeping for 6 hours or less seems to extend the assembly of the ghrelin hormone and reduce leptin, helping you balance food intake. Also, decreased sleep appears to be related to the division of unfavorable nutrients, which suggests that within the event of reduced caloric intake, more weight is going to be lost as a lean mass of body fat. It increases the danger of diabetes Studies have examined the connection between insufficient sleep and insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. Among the healthy adolescents, the researchers found, their shortest sleepers had the very best insulin resistance, meaning that the body doesn't use insulin effectively. Other studies have examined fat cells, especially, and have found that lower sleep increases insulin resistance in these cells, even when caloric intake is restricted. Fuel amnesia You may know that on days once you are exhausted, you forget and not focus, but sleep deprivation can cause permanent cognitive problems. The less we sleep, the less we enjoy the memory storage characteristics of sleep. But lack of sleep can cause a deterioration within the brain, which can partially explain a minimum of some amnesia later in life. Bone damage Long-term sleep deprivation appears to contribute to osteoporosis. Loss of sleep reduces the body's secretion of the human somatotropin liable for strengthening the bones and repairing wear and tear. Your heart hurts The stress and stress caused by a scarcity of sleep can cause the body to supply more chemicals and hormones, which will cause heart condition. Lack of sleep can accelerate signs of skin aging because the body produces cortisol (stress hormone) which will break down collagen and weaken the skin's ability to repair in the dark. Finally, when our sleep suffers, our system also suffers, which makes us more susceptible to disease and infection. I always knew how important sleep was to my health, but I have never taken it seriously yet. Sleep science - it isn't as easy as spending longer in bed. To make changes, you would like to create and build achievable daily habits in your routine. However, what should these habits be? How does one know they're going to work? It's where I address the research project to assist me. I've talked tons about hormones here already and the way they affect us negatively thanks to lack of sleep but guess what? When it involves good sleep, the hormones are again... but this point, they're going to help us. Understanding which of them and the way to enhance them should be the key to improving our health. The hormones that make us sleepy The magical hormone liable for regulating sleep cycles is melatonin, which is, of course, released with darkness and tells our body to sleep. It not only controls your usual sleep pattern but also reduces stress and is additionally anti-oxidant, which suggests it slows down the aging process. Once we are younger, our melatonin levels are high, but unfortunately, we see a gradual decrease as we age. Many things can also eliminate natural melatonin production within the body. These include long flight disorder and shift work, but the foremost common cause is abnormal exposure to light after dark hours. Blue light is the most harmful emitting from cell phones, computer screens, and televisions. So yes, reading from an iPad before getting to bed is worse than reading an honest old book! Even awakening in the dark and checking the time on your phone can stop your body from producing melatonin instantly! Unfortunately, whether you've got been fighting for an hour or a second, the effect is that the same. The problems that have seem to be mainly thanks to our modern lifestyles, which differ significantly from how our ancestors wont to live. They weren't awake late using laptops or watching TV. Instead, they used light to make a decision when to sleep and when to awaken. Increased melatonin So, if melatonin is so excellent and its production will help me improve my sleep, the procedure that I will be able to take must answer the question: "What simple changes am I able to make to extend melatonin levels naturally? The straightforward answer could also be to use a dietary supplement. Still, the matter is that the utilization of Repetitive artificial melatonin can reduce my body's ability to supply it, so instead, I want to develop lifestyle habits that will maximize melatonin production without the necessity for outside help. What do I do? I always seem to sleep better after a hot shower just before bed (high and low blood heat appears to market drowsiness) and do so occasionally during the week. It's best if I throw some Epsom salts (which contain magnesium) that my body absorbs through the skin. Sometimes I will be able to use Betteryou Magnesium Spray, which I mainly use as a relaxant after training, but it's also useful for bedtime use to assist me to sleep. It appears that the body more readily absorbs magnesium through the skin instead of taking oral supplements. I regularly use Bulletproof Sleeping Mat for 20 minutes before bed. On most nights, I sleep in complete darkness (faster for dimming), even the slightest amount of sunshine can disrupt your mechanism and produce melatonin. Although there's no thermometer in my bedroom, I tend to sleep better when the weather may be a little cooler. Indeed, the perfect temperature for an honest night's sleep is between 60 and 67 degrees Fahrenheit. I regularly eat eggs, nuts/seeds, salmon, chicken, bananas, and oats, which are known to be a potent melatonin booster. I always eat a night meal that contains protein, fat or low-glycemic food in blood glucose to enhance tryptophan levels (tryptophan is an aminoalkanoic acid that promotes sleep that contributes to the assembly of serotonin, a brain chemical that helps us relax and is employed to form melatonin). I take a magnesium supplement after dinner and again before getting to bed. Magnesium is the most potent relaxing mineral available. However, it must be supported with proper nutrition for the body to soak up and use it. (Time for an additional blog) My phone, although it shouldn't be charged in my bedroom, is placed in airplane mode to avoid EMF which may disturb sleep. I now use the Lome timepiece that gently wakes me up with natural light rather than sound. What I'm not good at - what is going to I attempt to improve my sleep? Sometimes I will be able to impose a curfew on myself, but this never seems long, and that I find myself getting to sleep later. As I write this, I'm committing the last word sin of sleep. It's 11:30 pm, and that I drink coffee and stare at the pc screen! I will make a concerted effort to sleep at 10 pm nightly. It's going to be unrealistic to try to do this seven days every week, but I will be able to attempt to be as consistent as possible. Every hour of sleep before midnight is adequate to two hours after. Now, I do not skills correct this is often, but I've read it quite a couple of times, so maybe it's worth looking into it. I installed F.lux on my phone, iPad, and computer (it's free). Change the color on your screens, counting on the time of day. F.lux uses warmer colors after sunset to match the inside lighting. Although there are not any scientific studies to prove its success, the thought seems plausible and price the experiment. I have already got a pair of blue, orange glasses that block the sunshine but I admit I do not wear them that much. I downloaded "Pzizz" which is an app that claims to assist you in nodding off faster with a variety of soothing sounds and acoustic signals intended to help you relax and squeeze. I'm currently also researching other techniques supported by vocal neuroscience, and I am trying to experiment with a system developed by the brain. I will replace my coffee after dinner with herb tea (really yes!) Caffeine not only acts as a stimulant but also will start to release magnesium from my body. Getting an honest night's sleep seems to be an art and a science and that they are crucial to our health. With some simple strategies, we will all get top quality and cozy sleep that our bodies and minds deserve. There are not any shortcuts, and that we got to make sleep a priority. Our physical, mental and emotional health depends thereon. Take hold of your actions and surroundings, be consistent and allow us to enjoy Zzzzzzz.

[lunchtops]

Pairing: shance Rating: T Warnings: none Summary: After a rough day at work, Shiro comes home to a birthday surprise from his boyfriend. Written for the Shiro Birthday Exchange.

I was paired with @griffonskies for the Shiro Birthday Exchange ( @vldexchange  )! They specifically requested something happy, and said they like space, so I set this fluff monster at a planetarium. I hope you like it, I had a lot of fun working on it!

Happy birthday, Shiro! 

If you’d rather read on tumblr, click on through.

Locking the back door of the planetarium for the last time carried with it a sense of finality that rocked Shiro to his core.

He had known, of course, that today would be his last day working there. That today would be everyone’s last day, except for the construction workers tasked with taking apart all of the equipment, and moving it to its new home, before the entire building was demolished to make way for a new high-rise apartment complex. A lack of public interest, waning visitor numbers, and the cutting of of municipal funding had all lead to the decision.

The least they could have done, he thought, as he stepped into his Lyft home, was close up for good on any day but his birthday. Shiro was usually lukewarm on the event anyway, but somehow that just seemed to strengthen the blow, as if the closure was meant as an affront to him, personally. Normally, he returned home feeling tired, but the kind of tired that went along with a satisfying day’s work. Shiro loved his job at the planetarium. He loved giving tours, loved helping the university students find what they needed to do their research. He loved when astronomers and physicists came to visit and give lectures; Shiro didn’t miss a single one. He even loved teaching the children’s classes, something he was hesitant to do when he took the job three years ago.

He had made friends, even met the man he was about to come home to, at that job. They had selected their rental house because, out of all of the options in their price range, it provided him with the shortest commute. For three years, the planetarium had been such a central force in his life, that Shiro already felt lost without it. Even as the driver pulled up to his home, and Shiro walked the familiar walk up to the front door, he felt aimless. Thankfully, there was enough in savings to take care of rent for a while, but Shiro was still left with the ominous question that he never thought he would have to answer again:

What do I want to do now?

He had already found the answer to that question once, and it had taken him well into his mid twenties. Shiro fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the front door. At least, this time, he wouldn’t have to do it alone-

“Hey, baby!” Speak of the devil; Lance greeted him as soon as that thought crossed his mind, before he had even opened the door all the way. He found Lance waiting for him on the other side, as if he had been waiting for Shiro to get home.

Judging by the way he was dressed - the pair of jeans Lance had dubbed his ‘hot pants’, because of the way they hugged his ass just a little tighter than the rest of his jeans, a blue button up, and a fitted blazer in charcoal gray - and the fact that Lance had a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers in hand, Shiro was almost positive that Lance really had been waiting for him to get home. Standing by the door, waiting, just for him.

For the first time that day, maybe even the first time all week, Shiro smiled. Smiled and really meant it. “What’s all this for?”

“For your birthday, duh!” Was Lance’s response, and as if claiming a reward for all of the waiting he had to do, he finally closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Shiro’s shoulders. He pulled himself up and pressed their lips together, in a long but chaste kiss. Shiro could feel the soft flower petals teasing at the back of his neck as he soaked in the warmth of that kiss. Finally, he was starting to feel grounded again; even if he was lost, Lance would help him find his way again.

But it didn’t last. Shiro knew it wouldn’t; Lance loved getting dressed up, but if his plans consisted of a night in, he wouldn’t have bothered. He pulled away, offering Shiro his flowers. “Put these in some water and get changed. I’m taking you out!”

“Out where?” Shiro wasn’t opposed to the idea, exactly; going out might prove to be a nice distraction from the fact that his career was falling apart around him. But he wasn’t particularly in the mood for a nightclub or a crowded bar. The possibility of a giant surprise party filled him with dread. Not to mention the fact that, now that they were down one income, cup noodles and Netflix was going to have to become their new date night, until Shiro could secure another job.

Lance crossed his arms, and shook his head. “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise. You’re going to love it, I promise. Now, go on! I’ll get the car warmed up.”

Shiro nodded, and went about following Lance’s instructions; whatever it was he had planned, Lance was clearly excited about it, and Shiro didn’t have it in him to disappoint his boyfriend. His unemployment was going to be a big enough burden. Besides, Lance cared more about his birthday than he did. He might as well play along.

He was thankful that Lance had set an outfit out for him, and had even taken the liberty of tying off his right sleeve, so Shiro wouldn’t have to struggle with it one-handed. His new, improved prosthetic was set to arrive next month - something Shiro was thankful he could arrange quickly, immediately after the old one had fallen into disrepair, while he still had insurance from his job to help cover the cost - and though he was promised increased functionality and more comfort with this newer model, going without for so long felt… odd. Even though his old prosthetic could only bend at the elbow, it had become a familiar weight at his side.

Lance wolf-whistled at him as he entered the living room, and was at his side in seconds, to help him tie his bow tie. “Damn, I’m good. You should let me pick out your clothes more often.”

Shiro laughed, enjoying the care Lance took into tying the tie perfectly. His long, thing fingers were so nimble and dexterous. “You helped me pick out almost everything in my closet, anyway. Isn’t that enough?”

“And if it weren’t for me, you’d probably just wear the same black pants, and the same black shirt, and the same black jacket, every single day.” Lance’s voice was full of affection as he complained, patting Shiro’s shoulder gently when he had completed his task. “Oh, wait, there’s one more thing I want you to wear.”

Lance took a half step back, and Shiro watched as he pulled one of his silk pocket squares out of the back pocket of his jeans. Bright red didn’t seem like the sort of color that would match the outfit Lance had picked for him, but Shiro would readily admit that he knew next to nothing about fashion trends. It was only when Lance began folding the cloth, that Shiro began to understand it’s really purpose.

“It’s a blindfold,” Lance said, echoing his thoughts.

Shiro gulped. “Why do I need to be blindfolded?”

Lance must have sensed his apprehension, because when he spoke again, his voice was much softer. “Because if you see where we’re going, it will ruin the surprise.”

Shiro bit his lip, still a little unsure. He had readily accepted a lot of things, about how this evening was going to go. He was fine going wherever Lance wanted to go, and knew he would like whatever the planned surprise was, because Lance put a lot of thought into everything he did, especially when it came to their relationship. But this was… different.

“I’ll tie it nice and loose, so you can pull it off if you need to,” Lance went on, hushed and encouraging. “It won’t be for long, just while we’re driving and until we get inside. There’s no jump scare at the end, no one is going to jump out and yell surprise , I promise.”

Lance wouldn’t force him to wear it; if Shiro gave him a firm no , he was certain that Lance would put the blindfold away, and that would be that. But Shiro also trusted Lance; if he said there wasn’t going to be any sudden shouting, or jump scares when the blindfold was removed, he trusted him. Lance liked to play pranks, but he would never lie about something like that.

So Shiro bent down a little, allowing lance to secure the silky red fabric over his eyes, so loosely that Shiro wondered if it would fall down along the way. He allowed Lance to lead him out to the car, and somehow, they managed to get Shiro on without hitting his head on the doorframe.

It was amazing how much of the drive Shiro recognized, without the ability to see his surroundings. He recognized the slight dip at the end of their driveway, and was able to anticipate the speed bump at the end of the block seconds before Lance hit it, just a bit too fast. Shiro recognized the stop sign a few blocks down, at which Lance turned left, towards the highway. When the driver cursed under his breath, Shiro knew they had reached the on-ramp - one that had a bit of a reputation in their town, for being difficult to merge off of during rush hour. However, after they had joined that traffic - Shiro knew they had, when Lance sped up so suddenly that Shiro was forced back into his seat by the force of it - Shiro quickly lost track of where they were.

He lost track of time, as well, without a clock to tell him how much of it had passed. Lance was uncharacteristically quiet; aside from a few comments about the bad habits of other drivers that demonstrated an endearing lack of self-awareness, the driver’s seat was silent. It made the trip stretch on for what felt like an hour, but, Shiro realized, when he finally felt Lance throw the car into park and turn the engine off, couldn’t have been longer than ten or fifteen minutes.

He was opening Shiro’s door for him, a few moments later, with a gentle hand on his shoulder to help guide him out of the car. Shutting the door behind him was something Shiro could do blindfolded, but he was thankful when he felt Lance lace their fingers together, to guide him… wherever it was they were going.

It was quiet, but there had to be other people around. Lance kept saying quick greetings to people Shiro couldn’t see, though none of them replied, and Lance kept going without stopping each time. They must have entered another room, at some point, because Shiro heard what he was pretty sure was a heavy, metal door close behind them. Even with his jacket, he felt a little cold.

“Okay, you can take the blindfold off…” Lance paused dramatically, and Shiro had to hold back a giggle. “Now!”

Shiro followed the instructions, reaching up to undo the silk knot behind his head, letting the fabric fall to the floor in what he hoped Lance found to be a theatrical display fitting the situation. He was expecting to be blinded by whatever light greeted him after he removed the blindfold, but instead found the room to be delightfully dim. He recognized it right away, of course; even though the construction workers had already managed to remove a good chunk of the chairs, the domed ceiling, alight with a map of the night sky, remained unchanged.

It was obvious, what Lance was going for; the area where the red, plush seats had already been ripped out was covered with a picnic blanket. Waiting for them was a picnic basket, two wine glasses, and a bottle that Shiro could only hope wasn’t that overly sweet white wine that Lance loved so much.

“We’re… at the planetarium?”

“We are at the planetarium!” Lance sounded infinitely more excited about that fact than Shiro was. “I asked them if they’d let us in after hours for this months ago. The, uh… The timing ended up being a little awkward, in the long run, but they said they didn’t care if we used the space for tonight.”

“Why did you tell me to meet you at home, if you were just going to bring me here?”

“It would have ruined the surprise!”

Shiro ran his hand through his hair. He was still trying to make peace with the fact that he would never see this place again. Yet, here he was. Again, for the last time.

But, when he saw the hopeful smile on Lance’s face, it was easy enough to push those mixed feelings aside. Lance had gone out of his way, to make his birthday special. Lance had set up an adorable little picnic for them. Something private. Something intimate. Exactly what Shiro really wanted, out of his birthday date.

Shiro settled in on the blanket - something that made Lance’s smile grow, until it spread out from ear to ear - peeking into the basket. “So, what did you pack for me?”

It was a nice, simple dinner; two plates of spaghetti that were, somehow, still warm (Shiro knew better, than to ask Lance how he performed this feat while they were still eating; he would just be told that it would ruin the romance), two salads, and, thankfully, a red wine that Lance insisted he didn’t mind, though the expression he made every time he took a sip suggested otherwise. Shiro kept that observation to himself; partly because he knew Lance would deny it, but mostly because the way he squinted his eyes and furrowed his brows was actually quite cute.

They continued drinking, Lance’s head in Shiro’s lap, long after they finished their meal. Despite not enjoying the wine, Lance was way ahead of Shiro, his cheeks flushed a warm, drunken red. With only one hand, and the option between holding his glass and playing with his lover’s short, soft hair, Shiro found it difficult to keep up.

“Oh, look!” Lance said, pointing up to the starmap above them, his voice a bit shaky. “My favorite constellation is about to come around.”

Surprised, Shiro looked up, unaware that Lance knew enough about stars to have a favorite constellation. He felt his heart jump, right into the back of his throat, when he saw the arrangement Lance had to be talking about. There, right where the Big Dipper should have been, stars had been added and rearranged, to spell out four words:

Will You Marry Me???

Shiro stared at them, fingers still buried in Lance’s hair, until he felt the man in his lap sit up. His gaze quickly snapped back to him, and now it all made sense. Lance had been quiet in the car because he was anxious. He wasn’t blushing because he was drunk, he was blushing because he was nervous. His voice was shaking because he was about to do this-

And it was still shaking, as he began to speak, his eyes darting everywhere, as if desperate to look at anything but the man he was proposing to. “Look, I know things are really crazy right now. And I know you’re upset about losing your job, and you’re scared and starting over is really hard. I mean, just look at me, I’ve had three different jobs since we’ve met-”

“Four.” Shiro wasn’t sure why he felt the need to correct Lance on that detail, now of all times. “Four jobs.”

He didn’t seem to mind, though. His rambling continued. “The point is, change is difficult. And I know how you are, you like having something stable in your life. You like having something you can count on. So, I thought… Maybe I could be that something.”

“Lance-”

“I know, I’m not the most stable person ; I just established that I can’t make myself stay at the same job for more than a year. I’m an impulsive shopper, I only know how to cook like four things, I lose track of time and stay up until three in the morning playing video games, my car breaks down all the time, my crazy family keeps trying to FaceTime you in the middle of the day, I skip doing the yard work when it's my turn because I hate it-”

“Lance.”

“But I can be a stable person for you , in your life.” Lance finally stopped, taking a deep breath before he continued. “Because I love you, Shiro. I love you so much, and it’s not going to change, I’m never going to stop! So, I thought… Now might be a good time, to let you know that you have something you can hold onto. Something real. You have me.”

He paused again, reaching into his jacket pocket. Shiro was surprised, at the lack of the traditional black velvet ring box, but it was hard to care, when Lance showed him the dark metal band, engraved with stars and planets. “And I’d like you to have me forever. Uh, y’know, if you want. If you don’t that’s cool too, I guess-”

Shiro couldn’t take it anymore. He could feel his heart pounding, still in the back of his throat. Lunging forward in what had to be a fit of pure adrenalin, Shiro’s hand wrapped itself securely around the back of Lance’s neck, pulling him forward into a searing kiss. It took Lance a few moments to respond, but when he felt his partner’s lips part, and those long, perfect fingers gripping the front of his shirt like his life depended on it, Shiro allowed himself to close his eyes and get lost in the moment.

He didn’t need a proposal, to know that Lance loved him, or to feel like their relationship was the one stable force still left in his life. All Lance had to do was kiss him like this - with everything he had, pressing his body up against Shiro’s chest, cute, needy little sounds escaping his lips, louder and louder the more Shiro’s tongue caressed his - to make Shiro feel like the most wanted man in the universe. He kept kissing Lance, longer and deeper than he originally intended to, because he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say, to a proposal like that.

Eventually, when their lips parted, all Shiro could come up with was, “... Okay.”

Lance was still panting, his hand coming up to wipe the saliva off of his chin. “Okay?”

“Yes.” Shiro said, firmly, leaning in for another, quick kiss. “I will. I do. Lance, I- I love you.”

Somehow, Lance managed to get the ring on Shiro’s finger without breaking eye contact. His blue eyes sparkled under the fake starlight. If Shiro hadn’t already been completely and utterly in love with him, that sweet expression would have done him in, for sure.

Everything was going to be okay.

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 3: All the Sides of Cooking

This one took a little longer, as I had some blockings during the process and a lot of research to do. As always, remember that this fanfic ignores any entry after “Embarrasing Phases”. This one is lighter in tone, so no particular warnings to be pointed out, other than a brief appearance of Deceit, if it could be a trigger to anyone.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas has been training hard to get in a good shape, so he decides to indulge himself with a candy party. When Logan advises him against it, Thomas decides instead that, since Joan and Talyn are coming over for dinner, he’s gonna make a healthy vegan pizza for them. Thomas and the Sides travel to the Mind Palace Kitchen to make the pizza together as a rehearsal.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas and Joan are in the living room. Joan looks at Thomas with a neutral face. Thomas sports a happy unconcerned smile]

THOMAS: Hello, everyone. We’ve just returned from a little running. We bet who would be the one who would make two turns around the neighborhood in the shortest amount of time. The loser has to go through a punishment chosen by the winner in front of the camera right now. [looks at Joan, smiling. Joan looks at Thomas with the same neutral face. Thomas looks at the camera smiling] Wanna guess who won?

[Thomas keeps the same frozen smile which at this point has started looking a bit creepy, while he pulls out a carrot. His smile fades away when he takes a huge bite. He chews it with a crunchy sound and a disgusted face. When he swallows it, he retches a bit and looks at Joan with a supplicant face]

JOAN: [unimpressed] You were going to tickle me for five minutes if I had lost. This at least will be faster. All of it!

[Thomas moans a bit with a pouty face, then bites the carrot again.]

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody?  I don't know if you have noticed, but I have been taking in the last few months a trend to take care of my body. Mainly because I want to be healthy, but also, why not, to get on a better shape for the spring that is just around the corner. That’s a pleasant bonus of being healthy and a good reward for all the sacrifices that must be made, isn’t it?

LOGAN: [rising up] And I give you my congratulations, Thomas. You’re getting excellent results thanks to following all my planning and notifications. Don’t thank me, I know I’m good.

ROMAN: [rising up] And I’m filled with joy, Thomas. Thanks to you being fit, I can make the most of myself in my princely quests and rescues.

VIRGIL: [rising up, with a mischievous smirk] I don’t think getting your rag bunny, Mrs. Fluffy Bottom, from the highest shelf of the tallest shelving can count as a “princely rescue”.

ROMAN: [giving a dirty look to Virgil] And how did you know that Mrs. Fluffy Bottom was there? [pointing at him with an over-dramatic cracking voice] It was you who took my bunny from my doll castle and put it there, wasn’t it!? Again!?

VIRGIL: [ignoring him] Anyway, yes, Thomas, it was worthy to endure all the moments of agony and angst [pointing at Thomas’ body] to get this result, so congratulations.

THOMAS: [flattered] Gee, thanks, guys.

PATTON: [rising up, yelling overly excited of joy] Now, it’s time for a candy partyyyy!

THOMAS: [happy] Yessss!

LOGAN: Wait, what? No!

PATTON, THOMAS: [overlapping moaning in disappointment] Awwww!

LOGAN: Thomas, you must stay strong! If you start eating all kinds of junk food now, you’re gonna lose everything you’ve gained!

THOMAS: [squealing begging voice] But… it’s only this once!

LOGAN: [firm voice] One moment in your mouth, one eternity in your tummy! No, Thomas, you must never, ever, overindulge yourself!

ROMAN: [ironic] Said the one who doesn’t devour eleven jars of Crofter’s per day, including the ones I bought for myself. [talking to himself] I think I should put a padlock on my door when I get out of my room.

LOGAN: I don’t have a physical appearance, Roman, therefore what I eat doesn’t affect me in the slightest. It’s your health, Thomas, what is on the spot. You must keep eating healthy, [counting with his fingers] every hour of every day of every week of every year of all the rest of your life!

[Thomas shows a face of huge angst]

VIRGIL: [demonic voice, with his hood on, in an angry mood] Would you mind stop meddling with my job? [back to normal voice, while taking the hood off, still angry] I am Thomas’ Anxiety, not you, and you always overdo it!

LOGAN: Sorry. But the point remains the same. [to Thomas] No candy parties, mister!

PATTON: Logan, that’s a bit… excessive. I don’t think there’s anything wrong in giving ourselves a little whim from time to time.

THOMAS: He’s right, Logan. I know that eating healthy is paramount, but even in the strictest of diets there are moments of relax. There’s almost no bad food per se, only the quantity and frequency of what we eat is what must be taken into account. As long as I keep having a varied and balanced diet, and I don’t forget to accompany it with exercise, health won’t suffer.

LOGAN: You may be right, Thomas, but I know Patton. He has no self-control when it is about sweet,  both physical and figurative. He’s gonna push you into eating tons of candy, and you’re gonna let yourself fall at his feet. Even if I took my glasses off I could see it.

THOMAS: Do you think I don’t have any willpower at all? No, Patton, as I said, balance is the key. Too much candy is not healthy. So don’t even think about it, okay?

PATTON: [sighs] Fiiine…. So… [happy] Candy party?

THOMAS: [happy] Candy party!

PATTON: Yaaayy!

LOGAN: Okay. If you think it’s mandatory to have this session of indulgement, so be it, but before that, we must take into account what comes next.

THOMAS: What do you mean?

LOGAN: You’re gonna ingest a lot of calories on these candies, calories that are most of them based on pure simple carbohydrates, that is, sugar that is quickly absorbed and is on a huge risk of turning into fat. Your next meal will need to be low in carbs and higher in other nutrients to compensate.

THOMAS: Can you elaborate?

LOGAN: Thomas, do you think I’m your cook or something? Now you know how to cook, so you can elaborate your meals yourself.

THOMAS: [sighs] I meant your exposition, Logan, not the meal.

LOGAN: Oh. Certainly. The recommended proportions of each type of food that should be ingested each day for a balanced diet is… [pulls out a cardboard with a graph] 50 percent of vegetables, 25 percent of proteins and 25 percent of carbs. Since your serving of carbs for the day is already covered by the candy party, your dinner must contain around 67 percent of vegetables and 37 percent of proteins. It wouldn’t still be a perfect meal for the day as the carbs you’re gonna ingest are not the best, but it will work out. But don’t make a habit out of it, Thomas. It’s better to eat complex carbs, like the ones from rice, pasta and other cereals, which are absorbed slowly and give you energy gradually when you need it, especially if they’re wholegrain, rather than the simple carbs from these sweets, which don’t have any nutritionally useful value. They call them empty calories for a reason, after all.

THOMAS: Okay… So, Patton is already served with sweets in a few minutes, but what should I have for dinner tonight? Any suggestions?

LOGAN: I would go for anything that contains phosphorus and vitamin B12, which are good for the adequate functioning of the brain. I suggest a ration of sardines or, if you can afford it, crayfish.

ROMAN: I’d like some good old proteins. My muscles won’t build themselves up without good building blocks, right? Perhaps some chicken breast or beef steak?

VIRGIL: Don’t forget some greens, Thomas. Folic acid and vitamins like B9 are good against depression and they would help me ease my work by reducing your charge of anxiety. Maybe some spinach?

THOMAS: Wow, suddenly everyone here has become a nutritionist?

VIRGIL: Well, it’s good to know the essentials related to our jobs, including what we should eat to perform better, isn’t it?

ROMAN: Plus, we asked Logan about it a while ago. I’ve been studying and memorizing.

THOMAS: Ah, gotcha. Well, Joan and Talyn are coming for dinner tonight. Joan is pescetarian and Talyn is vegan. They will be fine with Virgil’s suggestion, but what options would be better to maintain the same nutritious values while avoiding meat in the case of Joan and anything of animal origin in the case of Talyn?

ROMAN: Well, in the case of Joan, tuna fish is a good source of protein.

PATTON: Speaking about tuna fish, you can tune a piano, but you can’t tu…

LOGAN: [angry] If you tell that lame joke one more time, I swear I’m gonna place hot candies between the sweet ones, and then I’ll laugh too!

THOMAS: Don’t you dare, Logan! I’m eating those too!

VIRGIL: Well, in reality you’re eating them all, so…

THOMAS: Okay, what about Talyn, Roman? They won’t want tuna fish.

ROMAN: True. Well, it’s true that the best proteins are from animal origin, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find them on non animal food. [looks subtly down in his hand direction, then with fake voice as if he was reading something] Um… For instance, soy is the best source of non animal protein, it is the base of the renowned tofu. Pumpkin seeds are a close second, followed by beans, chickpeas and lentils. Legumes in general are a good source of protein. Soy un príncipe estúpido. Card copyrighted by Logan… What?

[Virgil and Logan chuckle]

THOMAS: [confused] What?

ROMAN: [his face turns red] Okay, you got me. [pulls out some vocab cards] It is impossible for me to remember all of that by heart, so I asked Logan to write me some vocab cards with the basics, and I accidentally read the credits [giving a dirty look to Logan] and something that wasn’t credits.

LOGAN: [subtle mischievous chuckle] I knew that was gonna happen and I couldn’t wait to see it. That’s what you get for not studying your notes.

PATTON: [mumbling with a squeeing voice] I’m so proud that you schooled him with a joke…

THOMAS: Okay, Logan, what about the phosphorus you wanted?

LOGAN: Joan will be fine with the sardines, I think. As for Talyn, a good idea would be chickpeas or artichokes, or a garnish based on certain nuts or dried fruits, like dried grapes, plums and figs, or almonds, peanuts, pistachio… There are options for them to choose, certainly.

THOMAS: Cool. Now the point is, I don’t think sardines and meat are exactly the best combination, except on one Joan’s horror smoothies, and that’s not a compliment.

LOGAN: Thomas, who’s said that we have to eat everything at the same time? It’s obvious that we cannot cover all the existing nutrients at the same time in a single meal. We only show you the options. Now you must make a choice of what to eat, as always.

THOMAS: You know what? I suddenly had an idea. Pizza!

LOGAN: Sorry, Thomas. Pizza is high on carbs from the dough.

THOMAS: Doh!

PATTON: I do like pizza… But I like candy too… I don’t know.

THOMAS: I do like candy, Patton, but we cannot have everything. Could we have some pizza for dinner tonight? I’d love to have pizza with my friends, that would be an enjoyable party too. Besides, we could have the candy party next month.

PATTON: I mean…

THOMAS: Besides, I want to make the pizza myself to include all the ingredients we discussed. And here’s my suggestion. Would you all like to rehearse how to make the pizza with me in the Mind Palace?

PATTON: [gasps] I love that idea!

ROMAN: Me too!

VIRGIL: Count me in.

LOGAN: It would be a great way of giving yourself a treat without renouncing to eating healthy, so additional affirmation.

THOMAS: Then it’s settled! Off to the Mind Palace! Roman, do you lend us a hand?

ROMAN: Certainly! Let’s go the Palace Kitchen!

[Roman snaps his fingers, and the next second Thomas and the Sides appear in a huge kitchen like the ones from professional restaurants]

THOMAS: Wow! This place is huge!

ROMAN: Of course it is. In the Palace we only eat the best of the best imaginary food you can never eat. By the way, guys, I don’t think we’re appropriately dressed for cooking. But I can fix that in a snap.

[Roman snaps his fingers and Thomas and the Sides suddenly appear dressed with cooking uniforms. Logan’s uniform is a white jacket like those worn by professional chefs, Patton is dressed with an apron decorated with a drawing of an anime style cat getting cookies out of an oven, Virgil is wearing a white uniform and a white beret and in his chest the words “kitchen helper”, Roman is wearing a white uniform with a tall classic chef hat. Thomas is wearing a short chef hat and a white apron with a red star like the one from his Steven Universe shirt.]

THOMAS: Wow, you surely were fast in choosing our clothing, Roman. And you, guys, look awesome!

ROMAN: Thank you, Thomas. I deliver only the best.

LOGAN: This outfit is adequate. Very professional and serious, even without a necktie.

ROMAN: Oh, the necktie is under the jacket, Logan. You don’t want to get it dirty, do you?

LOGAN: [checking out] Oh, you’re right. Now I love it.

PATTON: This apron is so cute! I love cats!

THOMAS: It’s so you, Patton.

VIRGIL: [angry] Why does my outfit read “Kitchen Helper”?

ROMAN: Well, we need someone to help us cut things, heat pans, ovens, etcetera. It’s not gonna get done itself, you know?

VIRGIL: And why don’t you do that for a change? Why do I always have to be the techie in every group work we do?

THOMAS: Don’t worry, Virgil. There’s not gonna be a helper in this task. We’re all gonna be cooking in equal parts. Besides, that’s what’s fun about it!

PATTON: Yayy!

THOMAS: Okay, let’s get cooking. First we need to make the dough. We’re gonna need flour, water, salt and yeast. We mix the ingredients and then knead it well.

PATTON: [yelling with a happy yet a bit maniacal face] Flour! [Throws a whole bag of flour in a bowl, rising a huge cloud that makes Logan sneeze] Water! [puts the bowl under the tap and fills it with a huge amount of water. Virgil and Roman watch the scene in horror] Salt! [pours a whole handful of salt in the bowl] And yeast! [opens a package of yeast and pours everything in] And we knead it! [puts his arms furiously in the bowl and starts kneading it, or rather throwing everything in all directions]

THOMAS: Stop it! Stop it! Pump the brakes, Patton!

PATTON: [stops, with his arms in the bowl] What?

LOGAN: Patton, doesn’t the word “proportions” [pulls out a vocab card] ring a bell to you? We need specific measures of each ingredient so that the dough will work out.

PATTON: [the bowl and the mess disappear] Sorry.

THOMAS: I wish my real kitchen could be cleaned so easily when I do a mess.

VIRGIL: [sighs] Don’t worry. [mumbling] Can’t believe it’s me who’s said that… [normal voice] I already added the measures to the bowl. Now you only have to knead it.

THOMAS: Thank you, Virgil, you’re so efficient.

VIRGIL: Of course I am. I always take all of you out of the bad situations you put yourselves into, remember?

PATTON: [smiling] That’s my boy!

THOMAS: Okay, Patton, do you think you can knead it without throwing it all everywhere? Put your arms in and knead it gently but firmly, until you have a homogeneous dough that doesn’t stick too much to your fingers. Got it?

PATTON: Got it, kiddo!

[Patton starts kneading the dough]

THOMAS: Now, with that on its way, it’s time for the next step. Roman, you always say you’re on top of the world, right?

ROMAN: [with a princely pose] Do you doubt it?

THOMAS: Cool, because you’re gonna be in charge of the topping. Start heating that pan and fry a can of crushed tomato. Add it some garlic powder and oregano.

ROMAN: Okay…

THOMAS: Logan, what properties does tomato have?

LOGAN: Oh, the good old solanum lycopersicum. It has a lot of properties. It contains vitamins like C, A, K, iron and potassium. Curiously enough, it’s one of the few vegetables that has more properties cooked than raw, as, even if it loses part of its content in vitamin C when cooked, the cooking also breaks the fibers in the tomato and frees all its content of lycopene, a great antioxidant, so that it can be absorbed by the human body.

THOMAS: Interesting. Virgil, would you mind peeling and cutting some onions?

VIRGIL: Thank God my eyeshadow is waterproof today… Okay, as you command, Thomas.

THOMAS: How are you going, Patton?

PATTON: This is going good, Thomothy. [showing a figurine of a dog] Look, I made a dog with the dough!

LOGAN: [annoyed] Patton, that’s dough, not Play-doh! You must make a round ball out of the dough.

PATTON: [sighs] Fine…

THOMAS: But is the dough homogeneous as I told you?

PATTON: Yes, Thomas.

THOMAS: Great, then when you’re done making the ball, spread some olive oil on all its surface, put it inside that bigger bowl and cover the bowl with film. And let the dough ferment and grow. It has to rest there until it doubles its size.

PATTON: Right, kiddo.

THOMAS: Logan, I want to make a pizza that the three of us can eat, so do you mind if I don’t put fish?

LOGAN: As you wish, Thomas.

THOMAS: Okay, then. Logan, start chopping some green and red peppers.

LOGAN: Ah, good source of vitamin C.

THOMAS: And Virgil, you slice some mushrooms.

LOGAN: Excellent. Mushrooms have the phosphorus that I need, among other stuff.

THOMAS: Glad to hear that, Logan. Virgil, cook the peppers and the onion in that pan with oil and then add the mushrooms and those spinach over there. You must cook it all until it’s almost done, but not completely, as cooking will be completed in the oven later. Roman, how is the tomato sauce going?

ROMAN: I think this is worthy of a king, Thomas Ramsey. Ready when you’re ready.

THOMAS: Fantastic, remove it from the fire, then. Patton, how is the dough going?

PATTON: It’s already doubled its size, Thomas.

THOMAS: What? Already? It should have taken half and hour at least.

ROMAN: Thomas, all of this is imaginary. Time is not a constraint in imagination.

THOMAS: You’re right. Well, then bring it here, Patton. I’m gonna extend the dough to form the pizza base. [Thomas gets the ball out of the bowl and pours some flour on the table] Some flour on the table… And let’s do it.

[Thomas extends the dough with a rolling pin until it looks like a proper pizza base]

THOMAS: I’ll put it in this oven plate. I’ll spread some oil on it, so it doesn’t get sticked… I’ll put it in the oven for a few minutes so that it gets ready to put the topping. How are we going with the other ingredients, Virgil?

VIRGIL: It’s all ready, Thomas.

[A ding is heard]

PATTON: The pizza base is ready, Thomas… [Patton burns is hands when he tries to get the plate with his bare hands] Ouch!

THOMAS: Patton! Step out! [Patton accidentally touches the plate and burns his arm] Step out of the oven if you keep getting burnt! I’ll do it.

[Thomas puts on some gloves and gets the pizza base out of the oven, then puts it in the table]

THOMAS: Okay, this is ready… Patton, are you okay?

PATTON: [with his hands under the stream of water] Nice to meet you, Ready, I’m Dad! Yes, Thomas, it was nothing.

THOMAS: Okay, you stay there while we mount the pizza. Roman, the sauce.

ROMAN: Yes, chef!

[Roman gives Thomas the tomato sauce and Thomas spreads it on the base]

THOMAS: Mmm… it smells good. Now, the stir-fry.

[Virgil gives him the contents of the pan, and Thomas carefully puts them on the pizza, distributing them all over the surface]

THOMAS: And now, the final touch, some vegan cheese all over it.

[Thomas puts the cheese all over the pizza]

THOMAS: Done. Now, back to the oven until it’s done.

[Thomas puts the pizza back in the oven]

THOMAS: And now we wa…

[A ding is heard]

LOGAN: Thomas, you don’t have to wait in the Mind Palace, we told you.

THOMAS: Oh, that’s right! Well, here it is.

[Thomas takes out the perfectly cooked pizza]

THOMAS: Oh, my goodness! It looks delicious!

PATTON: It really does!

ROMAN: Mmm, that smell is great…

VIRGIL: It looks really good, guys.

LOGAN: And to top it all, it’s healthy and both Joan and Talyn will love it. Now, the question is…

[Suddenly the light goes off, Roman screams with Talyn’s voice]

LOGAN: Roman! You screamed right in my ear! It hurts!

ROMAN: Sorry, Logan, I still hate the dark!

[The light then goes back on and the pizza is gone. All the Sides and Thomas gasp and look in all directions]

THOMAS: Hey, where did the pizza go!?

ROMAN: No fair!

PATTON: I’m hungry!

VIRGIL: It’s okay, Patton, we’ll find out what happened and make another one later. What were you going to say, Logan?

LOGAN: Oh, yes. The question is, Thomas, will you be able to do the pizza on your own in real life later?

THOMAS: Oh, I won’t be doing it on my own, Logan. Joan and Talyn are going to help me. It will be fun for all of us, and the feeling of accomplishment is really rewarding!

ROMAN: Okay, then let’s get out of here.

[Roman snaps his fingers and they all appear back in the living room]

THOMAS: This was a fun experience. I wish I could cook real food with you, guys.

ROMAN: [sinking down] At least we have cooked together. We have to repeat the experience another time.

VIRGIL: [sinking down] I’m gonna go clean the kitchen. You all came out so quickly we forgot, and now it’s a mess.

PATTON: [sinking down] I’m going with you, kiddo, I’ll be glad to help.

THOMAS: [confused] Won’t the kitchen clean itself like before?

LOGAN: Don’t ask. Well, good luck with your cooking evening. I’m glad that at least we avoided the candy party and you learned some nutritional facts.

THOMAS: We didn’t avoid the candy party, Logan, we have only postponed it.

LOGAN: [sighs] Fine… Remember the times, Thomas, it won’t be as fast in real life. [sinking down] And don’t forget to do the next session of exercise a little longer to compensate!

THOMAS: All right, Logan… [to the camera] It is important to be conscious of what we eat. We are what we eat, and if we eat healthy, we will be healthy ourselves. But it is also important to understand that, except if you’re allergic to something, of course, there are no forbidden foods. We can eat almost anything as long as the less healthier foods are not eaten with too much frequency and we keep a balanced diet that involves all necessary nutrients. Also, there is nothing wrong with being a vegetarian, pescetarian, vegan or any other option. It’s true that you’ll have to be more careful to get all the nutrients you need, but if you learn and apply that discipline, go ahead with it and be whatever you wanna be, and don’t listen to those who might try to ridicule you or don’t understand your life choices. In the end, your life is yours and only yours, and only you must decide what to do with it as long as you don’t hurt yourself. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[ending card. Thomas, Joan and Talyn are in the kitchen getting the pizza out of the oven]

THOMAS: Aaaand, here it is!

TALYN: It looks gorgeous, Thomas!

JOAN: I can’t wait to eat this f… [bleep] baby! Where did you learn this recipe, Thomas?

THOMAS: Oh, I just practiced it in the Mind Palace with my friends…

[There’s a silence in the room. Joan and Talyn get serious and look at Thomas]

JOAN: Thomas, I thought we were over this. These people you call Sanders Sides are not real.

TALYN: You’re starting to worry us, Thomas. Are you sure you’re okay?

THOMAS: I’m fine, guys, don’t worry. [mumbling] I don’t know why I talked about the Sides so carelessly…

[Joan and Talyn look at each other with a worried face, then look at Thomas, who is unconcerned, slicing the pizza. Then, there’s another scene on the Dark Realm. Deceit is there, eating the whole pizza by himself]

DECEIT: [looking at the camera, breaking the fourth wall] What? Don’t I deserve some me time too? I’m sure nothing wrong will happen if Thomas can’t tell lies for a few minutes… [bites another portion of pizza with delight] Oh, this is not so good!

[captainderyn]

Emeldir Deryn: A Masterpost

I said all the way back on Rielay’s Masterpost that I was going to do Emeldir to go along with her, so here he is. All the info you could ever want about the other half of the smuggler duo!

Credit to @therron-shan for the character sheet!

Preliminary Info: Name: Emeldir Deryn Nicknames: Em, Deryn, Captain, Kid (by Rielay only) Alias(es): Captain Emeldir Deryn, the Voidhound (does being future King-consort of Dubrillion count as an alias?) Age: 20 when the class story starts.  Born: I can’t do years lmao so 10 years before the Sacking of Coruscant Gender: male Species: human Affiliations: Technically the Republic, various smuggling circles, eventually the nobility of Dubrillion/Dubrillion itself.  Occupation: Crewmember/co-pilot on Rielay Taqq’s ship the Promise (ages 18-20), captain of the Phoenix/smuggler (ages 20-23), smuggler/republic privateer (ages 23-onwards), king-consort of Dubrillion (unknown)

Physical: General Description: “He’s secretly three jawas in a trench coat and or is a wookie on stilts, the jury is still out on that one. *muffled bickering off the holo feed* consider it revenge for your description of me, kid! No, for the record, he’s an honest kid, probably better than the smuggling lanes deserve. He’s done a lot of good for the Republic and even those outside of it and I am proud to call him my idiot in crime, even if he did lose his ship that I got for him that one time. (”Let it go Taqq, that was years ago!’-Emeldir, off feed)”  --Captain Rielay Taqq Height: 6′4

Weight: I have no idea--maybe somewhere in the 180s range?

Hair: Chestnut brown that pulls auburn, grows straight. For a long time he kept it shaggy but in the latter half of his career (think Hutt Cartel/SoR) he cut it short/er. When he takes back Dubrilion with Risha he may let it grow again a bit, it depends on whether or not Risha will tackle him with a pair of scissors if he does.  Skin/Fur: On the tanner side of being Caucasian.  Scars/Birthmarks/Etc.: 

Those on his face (Two bold ones vertically and horizontally across the right side of his face (looking at the pic its left but..whatever) with two fainter ones alongside those. Then he has a scar/s on his left leg from an old surgery to his knee he needed to have during the class story line after a job gone wrong. Then there’s a peppering of others across his body from other various mishaps but they aren’t note worthy. 

**EDIT: That old injury to his leg left him with a slight off-ness in his gait. Not quite a full force limp but if you watch him walk/run there’s a hitch and irregularity that sometimes flares up worse than other times. 

Tattoos/Markings: N/A

Cybernetics: N/A Handedness: he’s right handed.  Style: Think classic smuggler, a good pair of trousers and some manner of tucked in, plain shirt under a lightly armored jacket--Not the orange one that he is in all the time. It’s most likely a brown one with blue accents or a black one. Not orange--and a hardy pair of boots. 

If he’s off the job he tends to chill around in regular old space!jeans and a long sleeved shirt or sweatshirt if he won’t die of heatstroke. He loves his sweatshirts (and Risha loves to steal his sweatshirts) and a lot of them come from different locations that they’ve been to. 

Other: He has a very noticeable Coruscanti accent! According to google that means he speaks with a Received Pronunciation (an accent form of British English). So..I guess mix that accent with the cadence/deepness level of the in game voice actor and that’s pretty close. While Rielay talks fairly loud in comparison, Emeldir speaks more softly like the only people who need to hear what he has to say are the one’s who listen, though he will raise his voice if he needs to. 

Thanks to working so much with Rielay (and just in general tbh) Emeldir walks rather slow. Or rather, walks slow for someone with his stride. It drives Risha, who walks fast and on a mission, crazy that her husband ambles along unless it is a matter of great importance. 

Mental/Emotional:

Background/Backstory:

Emeldir was born and raised in the upper levels of Republic City on Coruscant. He grew up splitting his formative years between the Senate Tower with his mother Adrianna Deryn--more on her later--and the ship hangars of his father Chridan Deryn’s business. He was a happy kid, had a good life, and was excelling in his academics and friendships. 

Then when he was ten years on the Empire attacked, blockaded, and sacked Coruscant in what became known as the 0 ATC Sacking of Coruscant. His mother--a sitting Senator at the time--was taking hostage alongside the other senators not killed in the initial attack for the two days of Imperial occupation. Emeldir and his father were trapped in the Upper Level near the Senate Tower where they lived, unable to even get cross sector to reach Emeldir’s grandparents’ home. The Sacking affected him deeply and for awhile he faltered in his school work until he was only continuing to do well in his english/reading and history/social studies courses that he found interesting. His group of friends dwindled to a select few and he tended towards stress and nightmares on the regular. 

By the time he hit his secondary education he hit high school he had mostly shed that dark period, though his friend group still remained small and his interest in academics still showed strongly in his English and history courses, with the others kept decent on principal. It was in those four years that he found his interest in Galactic politics and galactic history and started taking more interest in his mother’s work around the Senate and local Coruscant government. After his secondary education he was presented two good paths with an opportunity to pursue an education that could put him on the tracks to get into government himself, or  a track that could land him a spot as an officer in the Republic military. While he didn’t know what he wanted to do he took up helping his father with his business while dabbling in some higher education courses to test the waters. It was in that year that he met Captain Taqq during her trouble with Chixi the Hutt. 

The Captain was faced with a dilemma and where she was quite close to losing her ship and was at the time crew less. As Emeldir was tasked with doing the preliminary work on her ship he offered to help her keep it. That week of helping her with local jobs on the sly earned him her gratitude and she offered him a spot on her ship. Lured by the idea of such great freedom and adventure Emeldir put aside the paths laid in front of him and took up a spot as co-pilot on the Promise. 

After a year and a half of working with Rielay Taqq she helped him get his own ship and he started building his reputation on his own as Captain Deryn. After a few steady months of work where he had built up his name with the help of Rielay he took the faithful job with Rogun the Butcher and the rest is recent history. 

Personality:

Emeldir is really everything you would not expect from a smuggler. Yes, he’s got a sharp wit and an attitude of snark with a quick draw/reflexes. But he’s soft and kind hearted with a want to help people and do good. He’s got the honor code of a knight in shining armor and is more likely to put helping people above his own credit earnings. 

He’s a Republic patriot with the knowledge that it has it’s flaws and he wants to work to fix them and is fascinated with why things work the way they do. He’s quite intelligent and wants to follow those pursuits of knowledge that come with so much travel, and sometimes that gets in the way of his work because no.

To the people who he chooses to be in his circle he is intensely loyal and lively, but those outside of it get a more reserved individual who is more straight to business and guarded. 

(I still suck at describing personalities. Please just go and read anything under Taqq and Deryn or Questionably Legal and you’ll get it.)

Quirks:  -A lot of the times when he is solo-ing a mission he maintains contact with either someone on the Phoenix or Rielay. 

-Whenever he enters/exits the bridge of the Phoenix he will tap/put his hand on  the frame. What started as making sure he wasn’t going to whack his head on the frame has become an affectionate gesture towards his ship. The door frame into the bridge is the shortest, so that’s where it originates from.

-When flying he has a habit of keeping a bit of a running commentary to himself. Whether that’s commenting on various things that are going on with his ship (like “oh well there goes those maintenance lights I’ll need to check that..) or commentary on the flight/state of the hyper lanes/how other people are flying if they’re in populated space.  Disorders: Uhh...I guess you could point towards some form of PTSD but I haven’t it enough to comfortably go into detail. Addictions: N/A Strengths: He’s quite intelligent and good at talking people down in jobs, he’s got a big, kind heart and an innate sense of good, thanks to Rie’s teaching he’s a good shot.  Weaknesses: Despite the fact that he’s intelligent he is extraordinarily good at charging headlong into situations instead of stopping and thinking, he’s got a big, kind heart and an innate sense of good, he puts the people he cares about above his own self or the state of his job. He tries to help everyone. Sometimes if people don’t understand what he’s saying intellectually he gets frustrated and short.  Likes: Having a strong base of people he can trust, good and honest people and jobs, flying his ship and being with his crew/family.  Dislikes: Working dishonest jobs or jobs that he’s lied to about, awful people as an umbrella term, the Republic v Empire war, most interactions in Hutt Space.  Phobias/Fears: Losing everything he’s worked for including his ship, his family, and his home. A repeat of the Sacking of Coruscant, failing at his work, disappointing the people around him. Hobbies: Making bad puns, playing his space!violin, dancing with Risha around their ship/home, occasionally getting into Huttball, reading when he’s got the time. Interests: Politics, history, music a little bit, learning about his crew and their backstories tbh.  Favorite movies: He usually hands control over to his crew which has let to him  enjoying a wide variety of things.  Favorite music: Space!Lindsey  Stirling type stuff that he doesn’t need to worry about lyrics to and softer alternative rock.  Favorite books: Certain history based books that aren’t overtly biased or filled with needless fluff, fantasy genre books.  Favorite TV shows: Again, a wide variety thanks to tossing the remote to his crewmates, though huttball is his own occasional choice. But that depends on if he’s in the mood for it, usually he just follows the big games.  Skills/Talents: Playing his space violin, he’s a very good pilot as well, I suppose he’s got a talent for talking with people and a knack for thinking through social/political issues the same way Rielay thinks through mechanical ones.  Habits: Going onto the bridge and staring out the viewport when he needs to think, pacing when he’s thinking/stressed, playing space violin when he’s stressed, speaking through problems out loud to himself uhh...that’s all I can think of right now.  Morality/Ethics:

He always helps people before he helps himself. He will put others above his own wants/needs/desires and help the little guy without fail. Even so he draws the line with keeping the people in his inner circle safe--they come above everything. 

He has a strong morale compass that he follows to a t and he doesn’t tend to deviate from it, even if Risha rolls her eyes and complains that he missed out on a great opportunity because of it. 

Google tells me he’s lawful good. 

Goals: Short Term:(through SoR) Keep his team’s moral high, keep the Republic and Empire representatives from killing each other, try to keep from dying and to hopefully defeat the Emperor. 

Long Term: Help Risha take back Durbillion! Then help Risha stabilize Dubrillion! Hopefully work with the Republic Senate to allow Outer Rim words better representation in the Galactic Senate.  Motivations: His morale compass, what he believes is right and the best course of action. In some sense what is the best for the greater good, but also what is best for himself/and his family at the time.  Other: According to google he is an  ENFP-A type personality which makes sense. He’s likable and charming and can get people to rally around him. It’s what makes him so alluring to have in a political position--he’s motivated by the people, people take to him, and he isn’t pushed by greed. 

Relationships: Sexual/Romantic Orientation: He’s bisexual. Relationship History: Not really existent. He had a few “relationships” of the “oh we’re dating”, hand holding type and one in his last year of secondary school that faltered once they went their separate ways. 

Reputation: "Oh he’s Risha Drayen’s guy.” 

Family: Adrianna Deryn: I said we’d get to her! She is a Coruscant political figure. For a long time she worked in the local city council in varying positions until serving on the council itself. From there she was elected to the Deep Core Coalition as one of the Coruscant senator’s Associated Planetary Representative. From there she was elected to a seat on the Senate and served for her two terms of six years, with the second coming to a close during the Sacking of Coruscant. After that she was kept for another 2 years before the Senate finally turned over and reelected almost all seats. She was always very close to Emeldir, as he was her only child, but also because he took after her quite closely, though she was surprised when he went off to become a smuggler. 

Now, however, she sees what good he’s done and would not have had it any other way. Though she does worry for him and cringe at the danger he puts himself in for others, the Republic, and his work. 

Chridan Deryn: The owner of a well known Deep Core ship security and modification business. He’s a first generation Republic citizen, with his father having been from Ziost and his mother from somewhere in the Mid Rim out of Republic territory. While he’s done work for smugglers such as Captain Zavia Torelli and Captain Taqq his work has long since expanded into contracts from the Republic military and other ship companies. He was the one that told Emeldir to follow wherever his path led him, whatever it may be and was the first to come around to that being smuggling. He took an immediate shine to Emeldir’s crew. 

Friends:

Rielay Taqq: She counts as family tbh. She is 100% family who am I kidding? Emeldir’s best friend, mentor, and family who he met on Coruscant in the way described in his Background section. (Fun fact: they actually met for the first time when Rielay was working with Zav just prior to the Sacking! Rielay was 17 and Emeldir was 10; neither of them really remembered it eight years later). They are essentially grafted at the hip, as is a running joke, would die for each other or do anything for each other and are a well known duo in the smuggling world. 

Esrin, Fashira and Zasharr: All of @delavairesslegacy​‘s kids who are associated with Rielay are also associated with Emeldir because well..see above. He gets along well with them. 

His crew: I won’t go into each and every one of them, but he’s on good terms with all of them (though things are a little tense with Gus), and he’s closest with Corso and Risha out of them all. 

Ugh he needs friends. Huh. There’s probably people I’m forgetting. 

Enemies: Anyone from Skaavak to Rogun the Butcher to Senator Dodonna and uh...Darmas? I guess  Actavarus as well, though they’ve yet to meet face to face. Other than that he doesn’t have a huge list of enemies coming for him. He’s a pretty well liked guy in the smuggling world. 

Love Interest:

Risha, Risha is his love interest, the love of his life if you ask him. He’s head over heels for her and woulnd’t want anyone else to call his wife. They’ve seen each other through thick and thin, through near death scenarios and disasters and been each other’s rock through it all. And they’ll continue to tackle every challenge life sets in their way, from Dubrillion onward. 

Affiliations: Describe their ship:

The Phoenix: The sister ship to Rielay Taqq’s the Promise (Same  XS Stock Light Freighter model, though a newer year) though it’s heavily modified by the hyperdrive Risha put in, the modded out engine, shielding systems,  and uh...I can’t remember what else she added, it’s been literal years since I played the main story. Google has failed me. While the exterior isn’t as noticeably changed the exterior yellow detail paint has been repainted to blue. The interior however has been personalized with a little of every crew member’s flair and become a home away from home for them all.

Role:Captain Faction Loyalty: He’s smuggled for the Hutts and for the Republic, though his main loyalty is to the Republic.  Famous Jobs:

His work in stopping The Voidwolf over Corellia

Exposing Senator Dodonna’s  and Darmas’ treachery

Finding Nok Drayen’s treasure, making it out of that location, surviving the Voidwolf’s flagship. Aiding in winning Corellia’s independence. 

Helping save lives on Makeb and evacuate civilians, Ziost...defeating the Sith Emperor on Yavin IV and then again a bit later on because wow he can’t stay dead until he’s killed twice, huh. (Organizing the team that helped defeat the emperor a second time, that comprised of both Empire and Republic blood)

Weapons/Specs: Two blaster pistols: A modded up Mk-3 and a standard Yavin Targeter MK-3 that he takes very good care of. He tends to fight more aggressive than not when given no other choice the the situation escalates beyond being able to talk it down. 

Other Biographical Info: Birthworld: Coruscant Homeworld: Republic City, Coruscant and eventually Dubrillion Where is/are their stronghold(s) located?  Where do they consider home?

He owns a small/medium-ish sized apartment in the Senate District of the Mid/Upper levels of Coruscant. That’s where he and Risha call home in the off time between missions. Eventually when he and Risha take back Durbillion it moves to the Palace district of Durbillion I guess--I need to start headcanoning on that! Familial Background: Heh, I already covered this, see above in his Background section :’) Other Info: While not necessarily worked into either of our canons there is an AU sort of situation where Emeldir and Risha meet @spectrum270‘s Prin and Risha in an alternate reality and it’s a fun time. 

[webcricket]

Home is Where the Hearth Is

Characters: CastielXReader ft. Jack Kline, and Sam and Dean Winchester

Word Count: 1376

A/N: Drabble for my SPN Advent Challenge December 21 Prompt Tradition - Yule Log. Pure smol Jack-based fluff.

“What are you doing?” Jack asks from the stair landing of the electrical room.

You hoped not to be interrupted until everything was in place, but Jack’s innocent habit of sneaking up on you no matter where you are in the bunker prevailed again. And he always has questions – so many questions to satisfy a seemingly endless curiosity about the world. At least the answer to this one is significantly less awkward than the explanation required the night he burst in on you and Castiel deeply engaged in the most intimate of pursuits behind your locked bedroom door. Jack had been so proud of picking the lock, just like Dean taught him. He stood there, beaming smile plastered across his face, staring at you and the angel tangled naked, flushed, and panting in each other’s arms and having no idea he was supposed to be bashful about the intrusion.

You peer over your shoulder and study his expectant expression. You can tell he wants to ask again what you’re doing; he practically vibrates with inquisitiveness. There are a number of truthful answers to the boy’s question: Nothing. Possibly burning the bunker down. Finding creative new ways to piss off Dean. You choose the one least likely to send him immediately searching for a Winchester. “Oh, I’m building a yule fire to light the darkest day of the year for us.”

“Oh?” Even this simple utterance is somehow phrased as a query.

You turn toward the hearth fashioned into the wall. The same wall Dean blew up with a grenade launcher some time ago in desperation because it contains a pipe venting to the outside surface. The wall you’ve painstakingly excavated over many months in your precious free time because if you have to live underground like animals with no windows you at least want a proper fireplace and a mantle to add some civility to the place. And a proper homey gathering place that is a research free zone. “You want to help?” It’s a silly question. Of course he wants to help, he’s doing everything he can not to jump over the railing.

“What’s a yule fire?” He moves with such speed you don’t realize he is next to you until his voice is startlingly close. “We live underground – how is this day any darker than the other days of the year?” His fingers tap the surface of the wood mantle and he picks up the holiday decorations you have sitting on the narrow ledge and turns them over in his hands to examine them. “Who is this tiny man with the white beard supposed to be?” He squats in front of the carefully stacked logs in the iron rack in the center of the hearth and leans over the stones to squint up into the converted flue. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to have a fire indoors? It’s my understanding that combustion-”

“Woah, slow down there, kiddo!” You grasp his shoulder and pull him out of the fireplace. You sit cross-legged on the floor and encourage him to mimic your action.

He settles as instructed, rapt attention fixed on you.

“A yule fire is a very special fire. On the shortest darkest day of the year it brings family together to remember everything good and bright that has happened throughout the year and light the way into the next.”

“Good things like what?”

“Like you, Jack.” You smile and reach out to ruffle his hair. “And this-” You pluck the felted St. Nick from his clutches. “-is a jolly fellow known as Santa Claus. He’s a sort of ambassador for the holiday of Christmas. He delivers presents down the chimney to all the good little boys and girls of the world on Christmas night.”

“Like me?” he asks, hopeful.

“Yes, like you.”

His cheeks tint a rosy pink. He never tires of hearing about his goodness, though he doesn’t always believe it. He also really likes presents. “I like presents,” he confirms with a goofy grin.

“And it’s a perfectly acceptable idea to have a fire inside assuming I’ve done everything correctly. I couldn’t exactly call in experts to visit our super-secret lair for a professional installation.”

“What if you didn’t do everything correctly?” He casts a wary glance at the hearth.

“Well, then maybe you should sit a little further back while I light it,” you warn and shoo him backward, “just in case.” Scrambling to your feet, you retrieve the box of long matchsticks from the mantle.

Holding his breath, Jack watches your every move.

You strike the match along the edge of the box. Sulphur hits your nose as the orange flame flares then fades to pale yellow and blue. Cupping your palm over the small spark to protect it, you nestle the match in the kindling beneath the logs. At first it smolders, thick grey smoke wafting into your face as you blow gently on the twigs until they begin to pop and crackle. Tendrils of flame lick the larger logs, igniting the peeling bark and reflecting flashes of amber and shadow on the walls of the hearth and room as the logs become fully engulfed. A steady warmth radiates out into the room to caress your skin.

“It’s beautiful.” Jack moves closer, drawn to the flickering dance of heat. The fire pops a fiery bit of ash onto the floor at his feet and a concerned furrow wrinkles his brow as he observes its fading glow. “But won’t Santa get hurt if there’s a fire burning when he brings the presents?”

You smile, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. “You don’t have to worry about Santa, Jack. He’ll be okay.”

“Okay, good.” The tenseness seizing his aspect relaxes, replaced by a thoughtful smile. “Maybe we should go get Sam and Dean and Castiel so they can be in the light and remember the good things too.”

“I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day,” you agree. “Why don’t you go find them.”

He’s on his feet almost before the words fall from your tongue. Eager to share what he has learned, he scampers up the stairs without looking back.

You sit once more at the base of the hearth to wait, drawing your knees to your chest. You peer around the electrical room – your labor of love these last months. You can’t believe it all came together – and after the events of the past year, precisely when you and the boys needed it the most. The starkness is softened by the addition of an overstuffed couch, chair, and plush carpet. Your eyes glint over the twinkling pine tree in the corner awaiting ornaments – that’s a project you want everyone to help complete. There’s a pile of stockings stacked below its needled boughs, ready to be hung on the mantle with care – the names of Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Jack embroidered on the festive plaid fabric. The only thing missing from the cozy space is –

“I’ll be damned,” Dean’s unmistakable gruff voice booms out. He stands on the landing, hands planted on his hips, chin wagging in disbelief.

“How? When-” Sam’s mouth gapes in wonder, fingers running through his hair as he takes it all in, “-when did you do all this?”

You hear Castiel’s baritone reverberating off the walls of the hall before he appears in the doorway, “I can assure you there is no fireplace in the bun-” The angel’s blue eyes fly wide, glittering in the ambient firelight.

Jack trots hot on the tails of his trench coat. “I told you!” he proclaims. “It’s a yule fire,” he adds, shooting you a knowing glance. “Isn’t it wonderful?” Still with the questions, he hops down the stairs, spinning and gesturing around the room.

No Jack, you think, happily grinning up at them all, rising to meet their open arms as they surround you in warm embraces, it’s not wonderful – it’s perfect.

Jack shows Sam and Dean the hearth, animated as he relays the concept of a fireproof Santa to the brothers. They’re patient with him, properly awestruck given his pure enthusiasm, even Dean.

Your angel lingers at your side, winding his arm around your waist and hugging you near to press a kiss to your forehead.