#Why is Nintendo 10 years behind

[bbanghiitomi]

| love is a place to hide

synopsis: with social anxiety and a reserved girl, you're usually seen alone or with a few other students around — everyone knows your name but doesn't know you, except for minji.

— nonidol!softballplayer!kminji × nonidol!loner!fem!reader

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popular loner, that's what most people in your high school call you. everyone knows your name but none of those people have ever been your friend, nor have they ever talked to you before. most of those people who know you are not even familiar to you, you don't understand where this popularity came from and it's creeping you out.

you have one friend, kang haerin. she's just as much of a loner as you are, except she has loyal friends.

meanwhile you only have haerin, and refuse to make friends with people other than her — haerin kind of gets along with other people too, but you find it hard to do so. you have no active social media accounts, your chats are dead and if your socials were a place, it would be covered with cobwebs the way they are abandoned.

you've never changed profile pictures, they've been that same picture of you when you were… 10 years old.

it's like you're dead but technically you aren't, literally.

there's this one person, an exception — she's not a friend nor she's a stranger. her name is kim minji. you've known her since the first year of middle school. you both met during the school orientation, where you were checking out the class lists for that year.

you remember it vividly, you sat alone at a bench and saw her approaching, you continued to ignore her presence while you continued tapping on your nintendo 3ds that you modded yourself. you were playing animal crossing, something that you found to be your new catalyst to kill time when you're bored.

you remember how enthusiastic she was talking about animal crossing, even though you weren't replying to her words. she was persistent in making you her friend but it was taking a bit too long for you to warm up to her.

you found out she was going to be your classmate, it was the day where you saw her sitting right behind you. in just a span of a week, she already made a few friends, and one of them was haerin. you stayed alone, casually conversing with haerin and sometimes a few other students, where it all ended up with you leaving because you drained your social battery.

minji was known for playing softball, she played for the local district's team and would often travel from city to city to play. she's incredible, a lot of people say — she's made a name and was inside everyone's mind, including her rivals'.

you've never watched any of her games, even if she kept inviting you — you tried one time but it all ended up with you going home after a small anxiety attack due to the amount of people watching. the cramped space scared you.

now first year college, most of your schoolmates who knew you before were in the same university as you and minji, you still carried that nickname of yours and minji carried that popularity of hers. she now plays for the university's varsity team.

even after 6 years of her nagging you, she still kept going. you don't understand why, what's with all this nonsense? why does she keep trying even if you've pushed her away thousands of times?

besides, there's hundreds of girls and boys lining up to be with her.

have you even mentioned the fact she's never been in a relationship before? that's how crazy she is, with how many confessions she's gotten none of them convinced her that they were better than you.

"hey y/n, we have training later at 5pm, you want to watch?" it's currently 4pm, and you're heading to the library to catch some work for the librarian — you promised the old lady you'll help arrange some books because the other kids have messed the shelves up.

and now minji is once again trailing behind you, asking you again if you have plans to see her later when she for sure already knows your answer. you turn around to give her a stoic expression, your eyes bore against her round ones.

"no, i have some errands at the library and it's probably going to take me a few hours. i'm sure you'll be fine without me, yeah?" you tell her. minji looks around the hallway and shrugs, a pout evident on her lips. "i mean, your presence could definitely help me." she then flashes you her signature grin, that would probably send an ordinary girl in an orbit.

you feel your cheeks flush but then you shake your head, you are no different to those girls. "you have plenty of girls to do that for you." you respond almost immediately. minji sighs and slump her broad shoulders, before watching you walk your way out of the scene. hiding your almost ripe tomato-like face.

minji scratches her head and looks somewhere else to try and hide the disappointment in her face. another day of getting a no from you.

truth to be told, if it wasn't obvious yet.

minji likes you, loves you even at this point the way she's been pursuing you ever since the first year of middle school. even if she looked crazy, insane, and stupid, she kept running towards you no matter how many times you've pushed her away. there's no other coherent explanation for her actions other than the fact that she's in love. it may seem annoying, but there's no other way for minji to show you her persistence and perseverance other than to reach out for you.

minji loves your wit, honesty, kindness and your hot-headed personality, though most people call you mean and rude, you're actually quite the difference! it's just your face that seems uninterested most of the time, your voice that seems unwavering, brave and icy. you're the prettiest girl in her eyes, no matter what you tell yourself — in fact, she remembers the day she realized her feelings for you.

it may sound stupid but it was during a debate at your classroom in middle school, it was one of those stupid questions the teacher asks and then will group the kids into two groups to let them argue.

the question was: what came first? the chicken or the egg?

oh how you hated this question so much, it kept being asked no matter how stupid the question sounded to any sane person's ears.

your team chose eggs and minji's team chose chickens — minji didn't spare any saliva to even try arguing, she sat on her chair as she watched the other members argue.

you on the other hand sat too, but annoyed.

it's already bugging you how long it took to argue about chicken and eggs, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

you stood up and spoke. "this is so easy, everyone knows it's eggs. the chickens have only been on the face of earth for just around 10,000 years and chickens came from reptiles. even before chickens existed, the dinosaurs and reptiles were already hatching eggs. as animals were evolving the eggs they hatch evolved too until one day it cracked open and a chick came out and grew into a chicken." everyone was quiet and for a few moments you remembered you were surrounded by idiots and kids.

claps from minji all surprised everyone, mostly her teammates.

"minji! why are you clapping for them!?" minji even stood up and grinned at you, still clapping her rather large hands, the sound echoing the room. your teammates started clapping too and cheered.

ever since that day your teachers were encouraging you to join the debate teams, and minji started following you around and trying to get close to you.

to this day, you're still active at the debate team of your university and minji is still following you around the campus. truth to be told, you're not mad she does that, you won't say it to her face but her presence kept you safe, guarded and cared for.

there are a lot of reasons as to why minji likes you, listing them all would probably take her a week.

"hey y/n, is minji bothering you? is she doing too much? does it creep you out?" you look at your friend, haerin. you flip a book and tilt your head to her question.

"why'd you ask?" you ask back. haerin shakes her head and laughs. "uhm, clearly — everyone is noticing how minji has been following you around, since middle school. most people say you look uncomfortable when she talks to you, and of course i can't ask her about it because she probably doesn't realize it." haerin tells you, smiling sweetly. you can see her eyes are lace with worry, she's concerned for your well being and as well minji's reputation, it seems like some people in the campus are starting rumors about her being a creep.

you furrow your brows and shift your gaze around until you spot the window, the window shows a great view of the field, through the glass pane you see minji running around the field.

you look back at haerin and shake your head. "if anything, to be honest — i don't mind it at all, as you said she's been doing that since middle school and i got used to it. i'm not uncomfortable or anything, this is just how i look everyday." you tell haerin in a calm tone, because really? minji's doing that with no bad intentions, she's sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly even if she sends a softball flying at the speed of 110kmph like it's her everyday routine.

but no kidding, minji is so thoughtful, always have been.

when you were always alone, she'd stand by a few meters away to make sure you won't ever feel lonely. that one time during a field trip in high school, you were alone walking at an aquarium, minji spotted you and decided it was the best time to leave her friends and run towards you. your eyes are glued to the marine life inside the thick glass filled with water, the blue shade of the room illuminated on your face, your eyes shine under the dim lights. minji carefully stood beside you and stared at the aquarium too.

"hey, remember when our teacher asked if prokaryotic cells are better than eukaryotic cells?" she asked, all of a sudden. you looked at her and raised your brows, there's no expression written on your face. but alas, you still gave her an answer. "yes, why?"

minji smiled and tried to contain her face from blushing. "ah, what do you think is the answer?"

you blinked as you looked back at the tank. "i personally think prokaryotic cells are much superior, they evolved and became eukaryotic cells so without them there are probably no eukaryotic cells. plus, it's true that eukaryotic cells are much more complex but really — there are more prokaryotic cells that can survive under the deepest parts of ocean no matter how strong the pressure is, the hottest surfaces, feeding with almost nothing but still thriving while lacking parts that eukaryotic cells have, that something eukaryotic cells couldn't possibly do. but really, i think it depends on who you ask." you finished with a look on minji's face, only to see her staring at you with her lips open.

you furrowed your eyebrows at her and looked away, feeling embarrassed and flattered.

"wow! that's why you're the ace of the debate team!" minji said as she laughed.

that simple interaction made your day better, a whole lot better. and for some reason, it was only minji who had the power to do that.

you realize that the rumors must be weighing a lot more, more than you expected. you hear whispers from other students from other courses, talking about the mvp of the university's softball team being a creep. and others were saying that it must be because you're giving minji a hard time.

it's starting to worry you whether it reached minji, so you decide to give her a visit to the field when she didn't invite you for today.

you spot her from afar, there's still lots of students around. she seems serious and is giving her best at today's training. you hear some girls gossiping behind you.

"oh is that y/n?" one of them says.

"shit it's actually her? she decided to finally visit minji?"

"after minji's 1000th invitation. i've never seen her here."

"she probably realized minji's potential."

"it's probably better if she just minded her own business."

you sigh as you walk away.

right after their training you wait outside the locker room for everyone in the team to leave except for minji. you spare the surrounding a glance before entering the locker room.

the locker room… is what you expected a locker room to look like. it's not exactly the cleanest place in the campus, there are clothes hanging by the lockers, and shoes on the benches. luckily, the place didn't seem to smell bad, but the smell of mixed perfumes of different kinds wafted around.

"minji?" you call out, walking past lockers, getting to the farthest part of the place and eventually stopping at exactly minji's locker. you stand still as silence surrounds you, you wonder if you didn't notice minji exiting and if there are still anyone around. "kim minji." you call one more time, your tone sounding more like a command for her to come out.

you hear shufflings just behind a locker and you stretch your neck to take a peek.

"hey y/n!" you gasp as you were surprised by minji's sudden entrance. she has just showered and her hair is wet, wearing newly washed clothes she wraps a towel around her neck and smiles at you. you sigh and place a hand on your chest. "you surprised me." you hiss at her.

minji chuckles and scratches her temple. "sorry i got too excited, what brought you here? did you watch me earlier? why didn't you tell me? i didn't invite you because i thought you were mad at me." you stare at minji before shaking your head and clearing your throat. "no, i'm not mad. i came to wait for you to finish your practice because i have got something to tell you." you look at minji's round eyes, she leans closer to you causing you to step back a bit — your back almost touching the locker behind you.

"u-uh, it's about — i heard that people were spreading malicious rumors about you. and i was worried it would reach you." you see her smiling at you. there's almost a small gap between her face and yours, you can almost feel her breath fanning over you.

"wait really? i thought you didn't want me around you? haerin asked me to not follow you around every single day. so i thought i've done too much, are you really okay with it? is it really okay? i mean, if you don't like it, i'll stop. i don't like botheri—" you put your hands up to her shoulders when your back touches the hard surface of the locker. she closes the gap as she speaks, too absorbed by the idea that you're worried for her sake to even think rationally.

"w-wait! minji! it's okay… i'm okay. we're okay." you whisper. minji's eyes lock with yours, with only a few inches separating you and minji, you can feel her heartbeat thumping inside your ears along with yours. "we're okay?" she asks. you nod and smile at her.

the small moment gets ruined as a bench falls over along with a metal tumbler causing you and minji to be taken back. you gently push minji away to step over and try to look for who might have knocked it.

minji puts a hand on your shoulder. "hey, i'll accompany you to your house." you feel a sudden wave of anxiety twisting your stomach into a knot, realizing it should be impossible for the bench to be knocked over by just a gust of wind.

but you nod at minji, watching her take her bag.

the next day, haerin immediately finds you after one of your lectures. "y/n what happened yesterday!?" she aggressively whispers, a hand on your wrist as she locks you down with her piece glare. you give her a confused look, struggling with her tight hold. "wait a minute haerin, what's the problem?" you ask her.

she sighs heavily and looks around, you notice everyone staring you down and people grouped into pairs or more would often share a whisper. "y/n — " haerin cuts herself off to pull her phone from her bag.

she holds it up for you to see and sure enough, it shows a part of the university's journalism organization blog. and as you look at the headline, the first sentence of the article and the picture of you and minji inside the locker room, you ask yourself.

is this even allowed?

you feel your stomach sink in, your heart clenches in fear. why is everyone making it seem like minji was harassing you?

the truth has been completely twisted around and has been passed around by students in just a matter of hours.

you find yourself hiding inside the library, curled on a ball, your back leaning on one of the shelves — hugging your knee close to you.

there's just no way you can do anything about it.

you pull your phone from your breast pocket to send minji a message.

minji :|

minji

what are we going to do?

im scared

sent.

minji walks down the halls of the building, with a deep frown on her face. she's currently on the hunt for the president of the journalism organization — though that person is years older than her, she's not afraid to take that shit on. students stare her down as minji struts her way to the room where journalism members are gathered. she stands in front of the door and knocks violently with her large hand, causing people walking by to be taken back. "you assholes! open this door!" minji shouts, her voice echoing in the corridor.

the door opens violently to an angry guy, only to be left in shock when he realizes it's none other than the kim minji outside their room. minji barges inside and surprises half of the people in the room. "you!" she points towards a girl standing by the end of the room

the girl seems to realize what's happening and tries to hide behind another girl.

"why did you publish that bullshit article!?" minji shouts, causing everyone to panic. the president of the organization stands up and walks towards minji to try and man up. "we have the right to do so! why? are you mad that we're telling the truth!?"

minji turns her head to the president and aggressively pulls on the poor guy's collar and points at the girls named eunchae and kyujin. "you too! those little minions of yours are spreading lies about y/n and they're literally stalking both of us!" eunchae pushes kyujin and uses the other girl to shield herself. "w-what!? you know that's some strong accusations right!? plus — you are stalking y/n on a daily basis!" minji's slender fingers grip the fabric's collar hard, swinging the guy closer.

"listen here you idiot, what me and y/n do is none of your business, okay? if you don't delete that article off of your blog and apologize to y/n i'll smash your skull on this table." minji brings the president closer to the edge of the table, the two younger girls both bow their heads in unison a couple times as they apologize.

"we're so sorry! we really didn't think it through! we only did that because the organization has a mandatory quota for articles we had to follow." eunchae didn't stop bowing her head, minji glared at the president with a deep frown, the edges of her thick brows almost touching due to how mad minji was. the tall girl shoves the guy away and walks out of the room to look for you.

you stay sitting on the floor of the library, hiding behind shelves of books, in the darkness and silence you find comfort.

you hear faint footsteps but you choose to ignore them, until you look up from the familiar shoes and see minji looking down on you. "hey y/n, everything's alright now." she tells you, before crouching down, wearing her team jersey and her pants. you stare at her before she smiles at you and scoots beside you. "i knew you'd be here." minji whispers, her finger touches yours as she puts her hands on the cold floor. you give her a small smile before sighing.

minji always knew you liked to hide when you're upset.

"it's okay now, i made sure it's never going to happen again. i'm sorry you got dragged down the mud with me." minji continues, laughing. you shake your head. "thanks, it's okay. i just got scared." well, if you were to be honest, you were more than scared — you feared for minji of all, there was no way she's going to lose it all just because people lied about her to feed people's delusions.

"i know, trust me, i'll do anything to make sure no one messes with you ever again." minji gives you a cheeky grin and hooks her arm to your torso to keep you close to her. the warmth of her body gives you comfort, you lean on her body and rest your head on her shoulder. your hands lay on her lap, she reaches out for your hands with her other hand, gently caressing your skin with her palm.

you look up to her, your eyes meet her round ones — then your eyes trail down to her tall nose and plump lips. you smile at the thought of her smooth cheeks. you hold minji's hand in yours, taking her back.

"minji thank you for everything." minji's face glows a different shade of red, the tip of her ears are bright red. she laughs, looking away — speechless. as she was looking in the other direction, you take your cue to give her cheek a chaste kiss, and so you do.

your lips touch her cheek and minji flinches, squirming at the sudden contact of your soft lips against her skin. she lets out a small squeak causing you to immediately hush her down.

"you kissed me!?" she whispers, you roll your eyes playfully and laugh at her response. it's starting to get darker outside, you stand up and brush the dust off of your skirt and watch as minji stands up too, still flustered. "where are you going?" she asks.

"home." you answer, starting to walk your way out of the library.

minji follows behind and says.

"i'll take you home!"

[ominousgengar]

Hello there, this is the start of my account and I thought I would let you know who I am before people start wondering.

Name: Hayden

Age: 20

Preferred Pronouns: He/Him

Orientation: Straight

Country: Australia

Time Zone: AEDT

Role: Switch (hypnosis)

Interests

I'm just a simple, nerdy guy really. I enjoy playing videogames and spend a fair bit of my time on the internet. I usually enjoy playing Nintendo games but find myself enjoying a lot of different genres of games elsewhere. I work currently in Retail with 3 years experience. I also do hip hop dancing, and have done so for 10 years.

Hypnosis Experience

I have been in and out of the hypnosis community for about 5 years now and have always shown an interest in hypnosis during these years. I am a switch, with a little lean towards being a sub but am happy to preform both. Hypnosis to me is a way of letting go of stresses and worries, leaving behind nothing but a brain that listens and thinks less. It is a lot of fun to be tampered with and control others.

Hypnosis Kinks

Hypnosis (obviously)

Pet play

Hucow

Titnosis

Drooling

Eye Rolling

Drone

Bimbo

Slave

Obeying

Triggers

Hypnosis Limits:

Public Humiliation

Scat

Vore

Age Play

Diaper

Pictures (At the start)

What I am looking For

I am always looking for people who want to make a connection and enjoy telling stories related to past hypnosis experiences or interests surrounding why they like what they do. Friendship and connection are really important to me in hypnosis, so don't show up looking for a one off session only for you.

Dm's are always open so feel free to message me at any point in time.

[dededaio]

My current tinfoil hat theory is that Dedede's redesign used in two latest games is a very conscious choice to make him look more marketable.

Design feels a bit "simplified" in terms of shapes than some of his past incarnations, which means it's easier to make his merch. He's rounder, more "blobby" akin to majority of other Kirby cast, with the main difference being that he's "bigger" than most of them.

He also generally looks friendlier, more people would be willing to buy stuff with his face on it It sells the fact that he's actually a good guy now much more.

Like, I dunno, look at some of his past renders, he doesn't really look like one of Kirby's pals if you are not in the know, and now compare to how he looks in RTDX

vs

As for why this is not actually reflected in the merchandise or promotional art yet, well... It's always behind games' status-quo. We have to wait at least 2 years before companies catch up.

In early 10s a lot of Dedede merch still used his anime-inspired look, for example.

We got stock artwork that reflects Dedede's (then-) current design and characterization only by 25th anniversary and western Play Nintendo website STILL doesn't use it

[eat-the-richard]

GOTY OTY TOTY YOTY 2OTY4

Video games continue to exist, despite it all. And I continue to play them, despite being 27. 

This year, I reached my video game playing zenith. Becoming one with the controller, in sync with play. My body is made of graphics. This glorious, truly enviable point in my life will not last forever. Something will tear me away from this gamer euphoria, perhaps sooner than I’m OK with. But I’m going to keep doing this shit ‘til the wheels fall off. I will persist in engaging this deeply in my favorite hobby. Because it is not only what I need, it’s what the world needs right now. A balding, middle aged WHITE GUY spilling his heart out about electronic toys. And looking this damn good doing it!!!!!

SHORTEST GAME OF THE YEAR: CELESTE 64

BEGIN PLAYING THIS VIDEO AS SOON AS YOU BEGIN READING!!

Celeste 64 is pretty cute. It was quite the surprise coming at the 6 year anniversary of the original game. I’m a sucker for retro-style 3D platformers, so I couldn’t wait to try it out. It’s got some cute character models, fun design, and has a surprising amount of depth for a little -

aaand it's over. Honestly kind of shitty that they only made the game 16 seconds long…..

KILL ME IF I BUY ANOTHER ONE OF THESE AWARD: WWE 2K24

I don’t know why I keep doing this man. I tell myself every year that I won’t buy into the hype, that I won’t waste money on purchasing another one of these fucking WWE games again. And here I am, wasting ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS on the deluxe version of WWE 2K24 + Season Pass only to reach the same disappointment again as 2K25 peers over the horizon.

Look, these wrestling games mean something to me. They were very foundational to my love of gaming and pro wrestling when I was a little boy. Hours spent creating my own wrestlers, multiple full playthroughs of the endlessly replayable story modes, and hilarious hardcore battles with my brother at WrestleMania. 

But they’ve lost so much of that original spark. The story mode has been reduced to two separate modes, one that literally just recounts classic events that have already happened, and another that gives you two boring story paths which have very little room for expression and branching paths beyond your created character’s appearance. The gameplay is horrid, slow and plodding, not at all demanding of your mechanical skill. To top it off, they keep leaning every year into microtransaction fuckery, with so many alternate skins locked behind a hilariously awful amount of grinding or payment. 

If I buy another one of these games again, please hit me in the back of the head with a 2x4.

LMAO OF THE YEAR: MULTIVERSUS

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

OK TIME FOR THE ACTUAL LIST OF NUMBERED VIDEO GAMES IN ORDER OF GOOD

10. Penny’s Big Breakaway

It’s a little sad what happened to Penny. First revealed at a Nintendo Direct two years ago, it would ultimately be a shadow drop this past year during another Direct (partner direct, which nobody watched) that in my view doomed the launch. That, plus a bevy of technical issues clearly brought about by the game being rushed out the door, killed off any chance of this game taking off in its early months. It flopped commercially, and its developer, Evening Star (AKA the folks that created Sonic Mania) had to lay folks off later in the year. Given that its publisher, Private Division, has torpedoed and sank to the bottom of the ocean , perhaps this option is better than the game never coming out at all.

What makes this so much more heartbreaking is that, at its core, Penny’s Big Breakaway is very fun. There’s nothing that controls quite like Penny, despite influences from various other titles. Sure, there’s rolling and slope physics like Sonic, but the overall flow of movement is very different. You need to use your yo-yo moves in addition to the slopes in the level to gain and maintain speed, while also making sure to interact with the environment to keep your combo going. In that sense, Penny feels like a neat combo (SKULL EMOJI) between a character action game like Bayonetta, where half of the fun is going through each level while keeping in constant motion, and a 3D Platformer. Sure, these controls can be a little unwieldy when you’re not used to them. But with a little bit of time, I found a peculiar rhythm with the movement that was able to carry me pleasantly to the finale sequence.

Games like this aren’t for everyone. It’s no wonder why so many bounced off of this oddity. The visuals, while stylish, certainly aren’t blowing anyone away. The technical experience still to this day leaves something to desire. And the music… well the music is another Tee Lopes slapper. But the game as a whole just fits into a certain niche. A niche I happen to fall into pretty nicely. And I wish that games didn’t have the pressure of deadlines, or shitty publishers, or like, fuckin’ money, to be able to just live in their niche and provide the best overall experience to the audience that best appreciates it. Hopefully Evening Star can bounce back to fulfill that promise in a future title.

9. Animal Well

I have FOMO with Animal Well. It’s an onion-type game. I think I referred to it as an “unraveling-type game” in a previous year-end write up. Surface level impressions are pretty strong. It’s a master class in minimalism, with gorgeous lighting and striking detail fitting into a concise, pixelated image where you play as a circle with eyes. A Metroidvania, Animal Well opens its world up to you with literal toys as its upgrades. While the frisbee item seems like it’s just there to counter the giant dog that wants to eat you, it has plenty of other uses that give it utility across the map. With no text, the world needs to convey itself to you entirely through visuals, and expects you to play around with its mechanics enough to get through to the end. But I think anyone can get to the “end” of Animal Well with a little bit of effort.

But the end of Animal Well isn’t the end. Not even the end of Animal Well is the end. There is so much to dig into, and the map leaves no wasted space. We’re getting to the next layer of the onion, where puzzle solutions get a little more abstract. You need to pay a little more attention to the striking details I mentioned earlier, no longer just being set dressing and instead being important to see every corner of the map. It’s now required to fully understand all of the intricacies of each upgrade to get through platforming challenges that seem impossible at first glance. There are upgrades that you only see in this onion, with abilities that hide itself beyond first glance. But with enough time, I got to the end of this layer, and had a thoroughly enjoyable experience.

So why do I have FOMO? Simple, there’s another layer. One with puzzles that go far beyond anything an individual can find themselves. Puzzles that are so mind-blowing in how they fit into the game, with solutions that require genuine communication with other players to solve. But of course, these puzzles all were solved by rabid fans before I even got to the end of the first layer. So all I can do is appreciate the story of how these secrets were found, unfortunately only from afar. I highly recommend the videos from FuryForged detailing the craziest puzzles within Animal Well. While I could not take part, just knowing these are in the game at all elevates Animal Well for me. Clearly so much attention to detail went into these puzzles, and that level of devotion from a player base to solve them so quickly is everything a creative person can want.

In conclusion, make sure to play this on groundhog’s day. There’s a groundhog in the game that gives you beer.

8. Pseudoregalia

In life, you are either Mario 64, or you are Mario 3D World. Pseudoregalia is Mario 64. Controls in a 3D platformer like this are everything. It actually doesn’t even matter that much what content is in the game, or even how long it is. If you create a fun character to play, then that is all that matters. That was the mentality Shigeru Miyamoto (creator of the Nintendo theme park) had when tweaking the player control in Super Mario 64 (for the Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack - Nintendo 64 application). Famously, early prototypes had no level design, and simply focused on making the act of chasing a bunny fun (the bunny of course was named MIPS, named after a shitty programming language). 

Pseudoregalia seems designed with this same philosophy. Sybil just has so many moves, which makes every session of play unique and fully expressive. You’ve got the long jump like in Mario Galaxy. You’ve got the ground pound jump like in Mario Odyssey. A backflip like in Mario Sunshine. And man OH MAN do you have this wall kick. I’m one of the sick FUCKS who actually likes the Mario 64 wall kick, where you need to be extremely precise with the inputs to kick off of the wall. I understand this makes the basic movement a little tough for most players, but it always feels extremely satisfying when pulling it off. Pseudo’s wall kick maintains that satisfying feel, but since you can just hold the button down to pull the move off, it is far more forgiving. But since it isn’t as easy as, like, how MOST platformers do wall jumps, they don’t restrict you as much, allowing you to chain wall kicks together to jump off of the same wall or an adjacent wall to gain ludicrous height. 

This game is so good that I don’t even care that it’s sort of furry bait. I kept those pants on the whole time, thank you very much. There’s definitely some sort of story going on, but for me it was the atmosphere that really stuck out. The music combined with the sort of empty, colorless world gives this a unique feel to other platformers. It’s not very long, but I actually think that weirdly works out in its benefit. Games like this are built for speedrunning - even if you aren’t built like that, there’s still plenty of reason to utilize your moveset to just sort of mess around in every level. Being able to get somewhere you’re not supposed to, or way before you’re supposed to, just sort of appeals to me in a deeply innate way. If any of this piques your interest, give it a try. It’s only $6, Christ.

7. Elden Ring Shadow of the Erdtree

First of all, this counts as a game. Whatever, my list fuckers!!!

Second, this was probably my most anticipated game coming into 2024. There wasn’t a ton of competition at the start of the year. As such, there were a lot of expectations, and in many ways Erdtree fulfilled its end of the deal. The game world is just as fun to explore as the original game, with actually more of the Dark Souls 1 layered world design that really drew me to that game originally. You’ll see an area, wonder how the fuck you’re supposed to get there, and the solution is abstract and not at all what you expected. You get to a major area of the game by going into a coffin hidden by a fake wall. FromSoftware is back baby!

There’s also the usual stunning visuals on display, which I feel like I take too much for granted anymore. Like, yeah, of course the new Miyazaki game has screenshots that just look like a painting, with vistas that just stop you in your tracks sometimes. Comes with the territory. Although it does seem like these visuals, on top of the dense world geometry, are stretching the hell out of this old-ass Soulbourne engine. My game ran like absolute shit, to the point I had to disable certain cores of my CPU to get it to run better. Damn Multi-threading!!!

There’s a word though, stretching. I think this game is stretching the limits not just technologically, but in terms of its difficulty. Some of the boss fights in here are straight up fucked. And not in the Ornstein and Smough fucked where you jump in like “oh man how is a human supposed to do this!!!” but with enough time, you see the flow and beauty to the dance of the fight. No, the fights in here are fucked. With attack windows so short and boss attack strings so long that every failure feels like you happened to get greedy once and you’re paying for it. The final boss literally has an attack that makes the framerate 20fps and unless you immediately start moving back, you are just going to take a free hit. 

It really feels like this isn’t the best use of this engine, and incentivizes you to basically make a build that plays the game for you. I don’t play these games with magic that creates a fucking laser right in front of you that annihilates every enemy. I play it for that dance in proper boss fights, the feeling of satisfaction in understanding their design to pass overwhelming odds. That is there in Erdtree, granted. Just in between a bunch of approximations of what that appeal may be.

6. Half-Life 2

I’ve had Half-Life 2 on my steam account for 14 years. Less than some people, but still far too long to have only beat it this year. HL2 is so foundational to modern gaming that reviewing it seems useless at this point. The Source Engine went on to completely revolutionize how games incorporate physics, how characters emote and talk to you. I’ve played and loved Valve games made in this engine for years. But I was never able to get through the progenitor, until this year.

The frustrating thing is, I know I would have loved Half Life 2 in 2011 if I had reached Ravenholm. Because this game shares a lot of DNA with the Nintendo classics that shaped my love of gaming. Because the Gravity Gun is a toy! Because the act of picking up a razor blade off of a wooden plank, and thrusting it at a zombie at a million miles an hour, watching their limbs explode across the map, is fun as shit!! The first act of Half Life 2 takes itself a little too seriously, with most of its gameplay focusing on just shooting a damn pistol. But it’s when HL2 gets a little more playful, with plants vs zombies turret segments, summoning Antlions to eat the Combine, and blowing up helicopters with a rocket launcher, that it really started clicking for me.

I originally wasn’t sure what to do on this list for Half-Life 2’s episodes, which I also played this year. Are they separate games, as originally released? Or do I consider them as part of the overall experience of Half-Life 2? Thankfully, Valve answered that question later in the year for the 20th anniversary, and confirmed that these 3 games are actually one game. So now I can tell you, in this section, that Half-Life 2 Episode 2 is actually the best Half-Life 2. It is pretty short, but has so many amazing gameplay scenarios that just keep you engaged the whole time. The fight underground against a swarm of antlions. The encounters with the hunter. The trek through White Forest on a massively upgraded 1969 Dodge Charger. And, of course, the final gameplay sequence, where you need to protect a facility from waves of Striders by using your gravity gun to pick up and chuck remote bombs at them. By far the best bit of gameplay in the series.

Episode 1 is kind of mid, with its core gameplay moment being a Sheep Herding Mini Game where you need to move NPCs through two rooms while under fire. But it's worth it to get through to Episode 2, which is a bittersweet glimpse into Valve at the height of their powers. 2007 was the year they released Episode 2. And Portal. And Team Fortress 2. A generational year from a generational developer, reaching heights they would never reach again.

5. Shadow Generations

Although I’ve written at length about Sonic in these year-end lists and on this blog in general, it has never even sniffed the top 5 section. Shadow Generations breaks that cycle. 

Maybe all Sonic needs is to make Generations style games forever. Ones that take old level ideas, maybe even from games that sucked, and bring out their full potential. Shadow Generations takes Kingdom Valley, a level from a game made by Hitler, and turns it into one of the greatest 3D Sonic levels ever. With so much replayability, branching paths all over the place, with just enough variety in gameplay with the doom surf ability to keep things fresh. Every level of Shadow Generations is like this, but it’s the reverence this game even gives to terrible, putrid parts of Sonic history that brings it over the edge for me. These aren’t vapid references preying on nostalgia; they’re transformative experiences that elevate the series as a whole.

What I find interesting is that Shadow Generations and Sonic Generations, which share the billing in the hilariously titled SONIC X SHADOW GENERATIONS, are basically two sides of the same coin. Both are referential towards Sonic’s odd past, sure. And their style of boost Sonic gameplay is similar on the surface. But it’s in how these levels are presented that really shows their distinctions.

Take Classic City Escape from Sonic Gens, for instance. It is just optimism curled up into a ball and thrown into your face. Fun, upbeat music, coupled with Classic Sonic riding on a 90’s-ass skateboard, all while escaping this comically-destructive GUN truck that obliterates chunks of the level as you go through it. One of the most iconic levels of that game, and shows the snarky, lovable Sonic we all know and love.

Now compare that to the Mephiles boss fight from Shadow Gens. Odd comparison, sure. But this is bringing back a character from a game, again, made by Hitler. One that was very famously erased from existence both contextually within his original game and in real life as that game left a stain on the franchise. There was no need to bring him back, but they did anyway. Because they found a way to give Mephiles justice. Because he isn’t just fighting you for no reason, he’s fighting for his right to exist. Again, both within context and outside of it. He puts his best foot forward, tricking you with clones and erecting towers of purple doom juice for you to climb up. He screams in anguish once you get ahead, crying out to you to let him come back. Shadow, meanwhile, is here because Mephile is a mere bump in the road, and needs to take care of him and move on. As he does.

Both of these technically exist in the same game you can buy, and both are trying to present the Sonic series in a very different way. And both of these are awesome, and prove that despite the Sonic fanbase being very split in what they want, that it is possible to please both sides. The world could use more Shadow games, just not, like, ones where he’s packing heat?

4. Astro Bot

The game of the year, ladies & gentlemen & enbies! I was stunned when this game caused an honest to god controversy after it won GOTY. How could you hate Astro? Look at his face!!

I think more than anything, Astro failed to find a wide audience. Because the audience who want to play Astro Bot are on PlayStation. They may have been in the 2000s, when the same platformer-adjacent franchises that are littered as collectibles throughout Astro’s game, were given equal footing among Sony’s list of intellectual property. But that audience is long gone, with no intent to buy a PS5 for even the best of platforming in a given year.

What’s disappointing is I feel what Astro is on a surface level overshadows what Astro actually is at a gameplay level. Like, the fact that it is a fun loving platformer that has Crash Bandicoot and Parappa the Rapper as a collectible is kind of all people know about it. And Astro Bot is used as a weapon in a gaming culture war. It’s less expensive than God of War, and takes itself less seriously. So clearly this type of game is the one that Sony should be focusing on! All the while, the actual design of Astro Bot, like what it's actually doing beyond first impressions, gets lost in the shuffle. My theory is these people aren’t even playing Astro Bot. Probably don’t even have PlayStations! And just use it as a battering ram against their perceived plights, all just to have something to get mad about, as if there’s not enough to get mad about already.

So, what is Astro Bot actually doing? Well for starters, its use of haptic feedback is far and away the best use of it in any game I’ve ever played. The Switch has had haptics for a while, and phones have had it for even longer. But never before has it been used to create the best-feeling Gacha Ball crush in history. I use “feel” a lot to describe while I enjoy games, and a lot of that has to do with things that aren’t actually “feel” as much as they are a facsimile. But Astro Bot’s haptics literally do let me feel certain actions in a way that elevates every moment of the game. From the way different materials feel to walk on, to the way the controller rumbles when you blast yourself with the dog power up, to the chaos of punching a bunch of gems out of your way. If this game gets a PC port (which it should), the number one thing it will be missing for most is how the DualSense controller integrates with the game.

Comparisons to Mario Galaxy have already been made before, so I won’t repeat a lot of that here. All I’ll say is that when the director compared one of the final levels to “Grandmaster Galaxy,” I instantly swooned. What keeps Mario special after all these years is that in his games, they never stay on a concept too long. There’s just a constant barrage of ideas that keep the game fresh, and in some ways just barely scratch the surface of what the mechanics are capable of. Astro Bot is designed in a very similar way. There are individual abilities in here that could carry entire games if given the opportunity, and they are just a small fraction of the bigger picture. 

I am jealous of the kids that get to grow up with this game as one of their first. But are any kids actually playing this? To be honest, it feels like the only people playing it are 27 year old white guys longing for days gone by. Kids are playing, what, Roblox Obbys? I guess those are platformers at least. 

The only thing holding this game back for me is that this game is Mario 3D World wayyy more than it is Mario 64 (Callback!!). It’s more concerned with giving you a bunch of interesting abilities per level than it is giving you a bunch of moves right at the start. As such, the movement feels a little static in a way that, say, Pseudoregalia, does not. I don’t think I’ll be replaying Astro Bot as much as my favorite 3D platformers. But that should not take away from what it is overall, and if you ever find yourself in the position to try it, I would highly recommend. And not because it’s the glorious epic AA masterpiece that Sony should base their whole company around. But because it’s damn good, and that should be enough.

3. Half-Life Alyx

I’ve had VR for a while. About 6 years, to be exact. In that time, I’ve always had obstacles getting in the way of my experience. Underpowered PC hardware, faulty VR headsets, wires. All restricting me from fully enjoying it, beyond some quick Beat Saber sessions. This prevented me from really sinking my teeth into 2020’s Half-Life Alyx when it was released. But a lot has changed. I have a better computer. I have a better headset. And most importantly, I no longer need a wire, as the Steam Link app on Quest allows me to stream PC VR games directly to the headset over Wi-Fi. And it only stutters causing eye-melting visual hallucinations sometimes!

With this setup, I could finally play Half-Life Alyx, which I was able to do right after completing Half-Life 2 and its episodes. In some ways, Alyx is bittersweet. It is Valve punting on the most expensive and the most detailed VR game ever made. Trying to inspire developers to put in as much effort as them, with the design challenges that they were able to solve, to make VR into a viable avenue for gaming going forward. But to this day, there is nothing quite like Half-Life Alyx, and it stands alone as the preeminent VR experience that lives up to most of the medium’s potential.

The highlight, to me and most others, is the Jeff section. It’s everything Alyx does well in a single section. The concept is genius for VR, with the fear of this freakish abomination hearing you and ripping your face off made more tangible when you stand eye to eye with him (or fungus to fungus). Being able to utilize every little object in the environment to trick Jeff into going a certain direction, while also making sure not to throw anything by accident as to not spoil your own location, is made way more immersive when you’re using your actual hand and fingers to pick these objects up. Valve continues to create excellent scenarios of gameplay and in concept, with the moment of having to purposefully let him out of the room you lock him in standing out. The tension, made more real by having your entire eyes and ears surrounded by the game, can only be accomplished with this fusion of design and hardware.

Much like those old source engine games sanded off some of the edges of previous FPS attempts, Alyx is the smoothest playing VR game, with tailored design to hide the medium’s weak points and accentuate its positives. VR still isn’t as accessible as it could be, and Meta’s continued dominance over the platform still irks me. But this experience straight up could not have been done as well without Steam Link, which is a pleasant reminder that VR is still improving. It is my hope that a future game can take what Half-Life Alyx did and surpass it.

Alyx does feel a little off tonally compared to Half-Life 2, but was a pleasant reminder of the same Valve that wrote games like Portal and Team Fortress 2. I like those games, if you couldn’t tell. Jay Pinkerton just eats through quippy humor most writers struggle with. There is still some debate on if Alyx counts as a full Half-Life game, which is a little absurd to me. Not only is this as long as as thorough as Half-Life 2, it feels at home with Valve’s 2000s classics in quality and innovation. There’s a lot of rumblings on if Half-Life 3 is finally at a point where it is a real thing being worked on at Valve. If true, not only am I happy to be caught up (I beat Half-Life 1 also this year, which was fun but shows its age a bit), but I am confident that the same Valve that made Alyx could absolutely pull off a HL3 that lives up to its namesake. Not another Artifact, at least I hope.

2. Rivals of Aether II

Long have I searched for the game to replace Smash. I love Smash, more than most normal people. But I am long past the point of caring about the characters needing to be known from another video game. Or from the Warner Bros extended universe (see LMAO of the year for more info). I’m in this genre for the gameplay, because nothing quite hits the same for me as a quality platform fighter.

Rivals of Aether II has the potential to be the greatest platform fighter in history. So much of the little details in this game are just right. The speed of the characters, the responsiveness of the inputs, the slight leniency in executing advanced techniques. All leading to the game feeling like butter, one where every single character benefits from the overall strength of the mechanics. 

And these characters have so much love put into their kit. My main is Orcane (don’t kill me). Just in this one character alone, there are so many techniques that are exclusive to him. His puddle not only assists in recovery, but in the range and efficacy of his kill moves. The puddle can also be turned into a small cluster of bubbles, which can trap opponents with precise timing. His traction is lower than other characters, allowing him to slide onstage with his strong attacks and shields. This even allows for the amazingly named “hydroplaning” technique by spot-dodging in the middle of your turnaround. His Nair is a damn Sonic Adventure 2 Bounce Bracelet, which can be a vicious two-hit move when combined with a technique called “hitfalling,” which lets you fall immediately after hitting your opponent with an aerial. 

I could keep going, but the point is that this is all a part of one character’s kit. Every fighter in Rivals has this amount of attention put into their design, and makes learning any one of them into an immensely compelling experience to me. It does seem that this sort of over-design in some places makes Rivals a little controversial in some spaces. Every character kind of has their own sort of bullshit they can pull off, which is fine since every character has something to come back with. But that does make balance a bit of a pain, which we’ve already seen cause issues in the first few balance patches. Also, to this day, this game is not finished. They had to release it in this state because they ran out of money, so I understand why they had to do this. But it does leave issues when the game launches without, say, a proper tutorial mode to learn all the characters' techniques. At the very least, this team has a great reputation from Rivals 1 of listening to the players and making quality changes, and I do believe that in a few years, Rivals 2 will be in a good spot.

What a thing, huh? Listening to player feedback… where have I not seen that before? Smash Bros has this weird thing of being an immensely popular and fun competitive game, despite being primarily designed as a casual-first experience. It leads to a disconnect between devs and players, where balance-changes and mechanical tweaks can happen seemingly at random for no real reason. And, most damaging, an active disdain towards that competitive player base that leads to enormous restrictions and missed potential. More than anything, Rivals 2 succeeds at what it is because it is not made by Nintendo.

And hey! Because it’s not made by Nintendo, a lot of my friends were actually down to play this game with me! Competitive Smash has always been an insular passion of mine, without much room to share with pals, which takes away one of this genre’s greatest strengths - the communal, shared experience. I have had so much fun over the past few months playing this game with friends on Discord, not just as a fun casual game, but in actually seeing both them and myself improving as we continue to match up. It is my hope that, once the new player experience hopefully improves with future updates, that many more people in my life can share this experience with me. And that Workshop support lets me play as Captain Falcon. 

1. Outer Wilds

OUTER WILDS SPOILERS. PLEASE GOD PLAY THIS BEFORE READING!!!!

Outer Wilds won my prestigious “GAME I'M MOST MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT FINISHING” award last year (which has not returned this year due to my aforementioned ascent to gamer godhood). What made me so frustrated at this blunder was that I truly was the ideal candidate. Never having consumed as much as a single trailer, I went into my first playthrough blind as a bat. I explored the town in Timber Hearth for the better part of an hour, acclimating myself with the locals and learning some of the mechanics. I got the launch codes at the top of the observatory, had the wonderful Hearthian within tell me to visit the moon to get my feet wet, had my memories consumed by a strange statue, roasted a marshmallow or two, then prepared myself for takeoff. I don’t remember if I smashed directly into the Attlerock upon landing but it wouldn’t surprise me. I explored just about as much of that rock as there even was, before my screen was enveloped in a blue haze. The music should have been a dead giveaway, as the color of the sun beforehand. But those clues did not prepare me for a front row view of a frighteningly beautiful supernova.

Upon viewing the last twenty two minutes of my life back and waking up exactly where I started, gazing up at the Orbital Probe bursting in a random direction in the orbit of Giant’s Deep, I started wrapping my head around the game’s hook. You’re only given until the sun’s explosion to explore any of the planets, moons, comets, or space stations. All in search of some way to prevent the inevitable destruction of the solar system and life as you know it. And I was all in. My favorite Zelda game to this day is Majora’s Mask, and the time loop is such a significant part of the reason why. It allowed for the sequence of every day to be plotted in advance by the creators, allowing for an always-moving game world that you have infinite chances to figure out and explore. A time loop game in space, one of my earliest childhood interests, seemed like a home run.

So why did I drop it? Simple - I’m bad at reading text. In the vast majority of games that I play, reading is mostly optional. While I enjoy reading, I need to be in a certain mood to mix it with my gaming. It’s why I appreciate Metroid Prime and FromSoft’s output so much. There is plenty of context to every area, item, and enemy you come across. And there is so much more to be gained when you fully take all of that context in. But if you want to focus just on the game, you can still enjoy so much of what their worlds have to offer.

Going into Outer Wilds, I assumed much of the same. That the lines of Nomai text were window dressing. Nice to know if you want to understand the world around you, but not essential to understanding the game. That is wrong. VERY wrong. Understanding the world around you is  the game. You aren’t getting much of anywhere until you start taking in the text you read, putting it into the context of the area you’re in and the greater universe in which you reside. And by the time I realized this, I felt taken off-guard, and put the game down until I was in the mood for a game like this.

It took a year and a half to get to the point where I wanted to keep playing. Until just this past December, this game remained in my head, but not top of mind. Just a persisting feeling of unease knowing that this was still in my backlog. After hearing so much positivity, and being so enamored by the premise, there was no way I could keep it there forever. And much like the Souls series, it took the shared interest of one of my friends to push me over the finish line and strike this off my list. So right before the end of the year, meters away from the finish line, Outer Wilds gets onto the list, and is here at number one.

What pushed Outer Wilds to the top of my list so suddenly was in thinking about the game’s themes. You are burdened with knowledge that seemingly nobody else in your solar system has - that this world is doomed and we’re all going to be eaten by the sun. Naturally, you start to think that the objective of Outer Wilds is to save the world. Maybe the sun station, constantly in orbit and hilariously difficult to land on, holds the keys to your salvation. You start reading about this station and how the Nomai wanted to use it to blow up the sun on purpose? Well that must be it then, that must be the answer! Getting to that station involves deep understanding of the game’s mechanics, likely first understood by falling into the black hole within Brittle Hollow, teleporting back at the White Hole Station, then using that same teleporting mechanic when realizing that those teleportation stations exist on the border of Ash Twin. Or you somehow land on it, you little goober.

But finally, you’ve made it to the station, and turning it off can hopefully stop this unforgiving cycle. Unfortunately, things aren’t so simple. This station has been off the whole time, it isn’t even doing anything up here. All it can confirm to you is that this supernova is irreversible. The sun is at the natural end of its life cycle. It seems like the universe itself is at its end. Chert on Ember Twin starts noticing that stars all throughout the system are suffering the same fate as our own. They get terrified when they realize that this is the end. I was too when I came to the same conclusion. There’s no easy way out.

All I can do is appreciate what I see in front of me. I’m in a time loop, I have as many chances to explore every inch of the Outer Wilds as I want. During my most recent playthrough, I made sure to read as much as I could find to make sense of it all. And during the process, you learn a lot about the Nomai, which lived and died far before our time. It’s bittersweet to comb through their history, often seeing their remains next to the towns they lived in and the text they wrote about them. And in so many ways, this species is more advanced than you. What they were able to observe about our universe, and what they were able to build in the place you call home. Very literal, sometimes a bit stubborn, and with passions that often went out of control. But also very caring to this solar system, one that they very much are not there on their own accord. Without their special care when mining the ore within Timber Hearth, the progenitor species of the Hearthians would not have been able to evolve, and you would not be able to follow in their footsteps that are in every part of the system.

For the record, the Hearthians that are actually alive have their own charm as well. What I most appreciate about the main group of Astronauts you find all over the Outer Wilds is that they all have their own flaws. I’ve already discussed Chert, who in addition to having an amazing name, is constantly researching about the end of the universe so much that it drives them mad. Rybieck sits strumming away on a perch of Brittle Hollow, utterly mortified to take a step out of their hidey hole. Gabbro has ended up in the same time loop as you, but feels kind of jaded about it and would rather just waste the day away. Feldspar is someone you hear about very early, and is presumed dead. But in fact, they stranded themselves deep within Dark Bramble, enjoying the peril of the area so much that they seem to care nothing about how worried they have made those around them. These flaws are very relatable, but this level of personality makes each Hearthian extremely charming,  and I would often go out of my way to speak to them after finding new info about the planets. 

Speaking of, the planets themselves even have a ton of personality. The Hourglass Twins can be frustrating to explore depending on the time of day, but allow for the most intricate scheduling of certain tasks of any of the planets, and the Sunless City is fascinating to explore with the sand rising below your feet. Timber Hearth, your humble home planet, has plenty to discover of its own, mostly in giving you little threads of elsewhere in the system, like the piece of Dark Bramble and your first look at the Ash Twin Project. Brittle Hollow features the most visually striking city in the game, as well as interesting platforming challenges with the falling debris and lower gravity. Giant’s Deep is intimidating to explore, with islands rising into the sky while you’re still on them. But as you learn more about the planet, it becomes extremely rewarding to go deeper into the planet’s core. And Dark Bramble, a planet that defies space and logic, littered with confusion and assholes.

Then there’s the Quantum Moon. From the start of the game, you start noticing a lavender moon that appears to be at different places depending on where you are. Soon, you realize that it’s moving every time you look. Once you learn more about the Quantum presence all throughout the Outer Wilds and the rules that govern it, it brings you closer to figuring out how to step foot on this moon. No joke, I had my “eureka” moment of how to get onto the Quantum Moon while in the shower. Where to put my camera to always have an eye on the moon, before entering in through the south pole. Of course, something that you only know about through the findings of the Nomai. So how appropriate that in this location, riding the line of reality, that you finally meet one.

After seeing the remains of the Nomai so often, and at times seeing their floating spacesuits surround an area that would become their resting place, it is surreal seeing Sollana, an actual moving Nomai within the Quantum moon. Even more so given that you’ve just seen five of her corpses elsewhere on the moon. Being able to communicate with her in real time, rather than static text, strengthened my connection with the Nomai. Which sets the scene for your ultimate objective in Outer Wilds - to fulfill their desire to reach the eye of the universe. 

Upon viewing the last twenty two minutes of my life back and waking up exactly where I started, gazing up at the Orbital Probe bursting in a random direction in the orbit of Giant’s Deep, I knew what I had to do. The pieces were all in place from prior sessions. I had finally made my way into the Ash Twin Project, and promptly removed the warp core within it to accidentally kill myself and get the bad ending. I had silently floated past the dickhead Anglerfish to reach the Vessel, the ship that the Nomai crashed here on that has the ability to travel to a set of coordinates. And I had finally figured out with some guidance (thanks @skulfsvyrn) that you can actually enter in the Jellyfish surrounding the core of Giant’s Deep to get past the electric barrier, being able to visit the third module of the Orbital Probe Cannon that lay inside. 

The Nomai, ever the forward-thinkers, had figured out a way to go twenty-two minutes back into the past. It’s what’s keeping you here, as well as what has allowed a single probe to be blasted in a random direction over 9 million times in search of the eye of the universe. And it found it, thousands of years after the Nomai were inexplicably killed off by a meteor strike and just in time for you to finally see it. Something about this whole idea truly delights me, that this species left this little nugget here, that they would never possibly be able to take advantage of, so inefficient that it took millions of attempts to solve. But that blunt experimentation is exactly what we need to get out of here.

With all the pieces in place, the route is clear. Blast to Ash Twin, wait for the sand to lower enough to teleport to the Ash Twin Project, remove the warp core that is in-universe responsible for the in-game time loop mechanic, and risk your life traveling within Dark Bramble and hope to God that the dipshits within don’t eat you en route to the Vessel. The song that plays during this section of the game, a beautiful leitmotif of the same song that has played before every supernova, truly makes it shine. Usually, those notes would strike fear and tension. Those feelings are still there, but infused with passion and intent. We may not be able to save this universe from its end, but we can at least do something that our forefathers would move heaven and earth to do. Visit the eye of the universe.

I won’t talk too much about the specifics of the ending from there, but I will dance around it with flowery language. 

It’s hard not to think of the end of the world. Everyone deals with it in different ways. Some are too scared to leave the safety of their home. Others try to learn as much about what could kill us as possible, and often those findings just make them more anxious. More yet are just numb to it all, taking everything at its face and stare unmoving at the end. Some go very far away, finding their own little corner of the world to live their own life, leaving their communities behind. Despite these flaws, we all are forever connected with our shared existence. Our environment bonds us in that way, in how it affects our feelings and behavior. Just as the environment of the past shaped our ancestor’s behavior, and their motivations to keep on. Ultimately, we try to live through our history, fulfilling the desires of those who came before us and building upon their learnings. But more than anything, they would want us to keep living. To continue the dance of stars and planets orbiting each other, and for those living among them to persist. The ending of Outer Wilds is a reminder that we can individually play our songs within our own circumstances. But upon dire straits, we always can join our music together and harmonize. And even if it is the end for us, we can create a melody that exists for generations after, and that life goes on with our music as the backing track.

Wait fuck the autopilot is driving me right into the sun agai-

[bellmo15-blog]

Precursor Drone Kiera

Oh Kiera, out of all the childhood crushes I had growing up you are the one I'm surprised I don't get more art off despite the fact that the Jak and Daxter series is still one of my favourite Playstation exclusive franchises. Well, this series and Ratchet and Clank.

Inkling Michael: Wait, what about Crash Bandicoot. That was like THE defining title on the Playstation 1 and you've even admitted you love that series and was even the first video game franchise you played.

I said Playstation EXCLUSIVE franchises! Why would I count a franchise that has been multiplatform since 2001, only the first five games are exclusive to a Playstation system and N.Sane Trilogy was only a PS4 exclusive for a year before going multiplatform anyway as a Playstation Exclusive?

IM: Okay but how do you explain stuff like Bayonetta then where the first game's multiplatform and was even re-released on PS4/Xbox One and PC for it's 10 year anniversary but Bayonetta 2 onwards are only on Nintendo systems?

That's...... complicated because of how no one else other than Nintendo wanted to even publish Bayonetta 2 in the first place... Okay fine, you got me on that one!

Believe it or not, this pic actually has a bit of a backstory behind it's inspiration. I was replaying Jak 2, specifically the PS4 re-release since it had trophy support and I had become a bit of an avid trophy and achievement hunter in the past few years and wanted to add another one of my favourite games to that list of fully Platinumed games especially since I had Platinumed the original Jak and Daxter a few years ago. I... gave up on trying to Platinum Jak 2 after remembering the insane score requirements for some of the optional challenges though and I REALLY didn't want to use the Orb Farming glitch or Debug mode to just get the Platinum instantly. However midway though my playthrough a sudden thought came into my mind relating to the Precursors, the ancient and technologically advanced beings that much Jak and Daxter's world and lore is built around. My though process was basically "Okay but what if the Precursors had hypnosis or fembot technology for controlling hostiles?"

And that's it! That's how this whole idea was spawned! Just a random intrusive thought while playing a game I absolutely adore. I came up with a design, picked who I wanted to be the victim which of course it was going be Kiera (though trust me, I was close to going with Ashelin at one point) and asked Ameer to draw this for my next Fully Detailed Ko Fi reward. And maybe this is just my own childhood love for Kiera talking here, again she was one of my childhood crushes, but this is honestly one of my favourite things I've gotten Ameer to draw for me so far. And finally uploading it for more people to see feels good. Nothing could ruin this night at all.

Genie Michael: Sony ported Jak and Daxter The Lost Frontier to PS5 before they ported Daxter! :D

...... Why do I even hang out with you people?

Artist is AmmerAshourDraws.

[luckyladylily]

Hi, I study video games as a hobby and I was wondering if you remember where you learned about the processes and ideas behind Nintendos design with intent for child play. Its an idea I had never considered behind game design and I would love to learn more!

Unfortunately I can't because it's all knowledge picked up here and there from various random sources + a couple non game design courses I took in college. I enjoy playing with children and always wanted to be a mom so when I was doing random learning it was more often with kids in mind than it would be for most people. I would read articles on why children's toys are the way they are, for example, and how to interact with children. You get a sense for this stuff over time.

The first quality article I read explicitly about game design for children was actually about Ratchet & Clank, the first one. Apparently, they wanted to make sure kids could play it without extra difficulty, so they made a ps1 controller sized up by 25% to simulate the grip of a child and designed the control scheme and certain level design elements around what they learned.

In the past decade I actually had a child of my own (she turns 10 tomorrow!) who is developmentally disabled, autistic, and I would bet a thousand dollars she is adhd like me and me wife. I'm actually her primary caretaker pretty much 24/7 and have been for about 7 years, so a great deal of my time and energy is spent figuring out how to provide for the needs of a child that isn't typical. I need to know why things are designed for typical kids, then understand how my daughter is different so i can make sure she gets what she needs. Ensuring she is able to relax properly, has happy play time, and has a comfortable personal space that she enjoys has being in have all been top priority for me over the years.

The post I wrote was actually directly related to what I was doing with her at the time. Kirby and the Forgotten Land was the first controller based video game my daughter could play mostly by herself because it is exceptionally well designed for young and disabled children.

It also came out about the same time as Elden Ring and for some bizarre reason I cannot comprehend several people decided to directly compare the two, including one fairly prominent twitch streamer who claims to have a degree in game design and cited their "professional level design skill" for many of their opinions on Kirby and the forgotten land, specifically pointing to several integrated accessible design features that made the game possible to play for a person like my daughter as critical design failures because they didn't cater to the tastes of a 20 something hard-core gamer. This is when considering a game that is for actual toddlers.

I was quite annoyed because this person's many thousand follower base was just parroting what they said and, in the most generous possible assumption I can make, this is a person who is not used to considering anything outside of their own personal point of view. This is a person who would never even see the point in creating that sized up controller for Ratchet & Clank. Considering the needs of disabled children is one of the most important things in the world to me and this person was very much not doing that and was using their platform and supposed expertise to talk shit about the kind of things my daughter needs to thousands of people.

And like, I'm sure they just didn't think about it. But it is literally their claimed area of authority and expertise. When you claim authority and speak to a large audience on a subject, it comes with a degree of accountability. You are required to think about it at least a little. That's what elevates this from minor background ablism to this person is on thin fucking ice. That is why I made the first post that many people have noted is weirdly aggressive. It was just supposed to be a little vent post where I blew off a bit of steam about an ableist jerk, but it exploded after I did the design analysis.

Anyway, I got off track. There is no one source I can point you to because despite being a gamer, I learned this stuff from the other side - general design and design for children, which I then applied to console and game design.

[eggnogisdead]

As soon as Russel got home, they immediately got to packing. Their plan was to stay at a hotel in Snowwood (which is where they went to school, and where one of the ‘chosen four’, Jeff, lived), until the starmen found them. Then they’d keep hopping through cities until, A, the starmen give up, B, the starmen manage to kill her, or C, she runs out of money and the starmen kill her anyways.

“Can’t forget this.” He said to himself as he put his Nintendo DS in his suitcase. Russel paused. She wasn’t in too much of a rush. She could afford to play some Chrono Trigger.

As soon as she opened up the DS, she was greeted by bloodshot yellow eyes staring at her from behind the screen, similar to the eyes on the possessed TV from last night.

"Oh FUCK OFF!" She said, exasperated. "I HATE THE GHOSTS!"

They almost threw their DS out the window, but stopped. Their DS was very valuable, and also it was, for some reason, talking to them.

"So, Mr. Abendessen. I heard you were trying to get out of Monsoon. I can he-"

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY LIFE."

"Calm down Mr. Abendessen. I'm trying to help you. Ok ですか? Listen very carefully."

Russel was so shocked that they couldn’t even think of anything to say.

"Giygas is real. Don't believe the fools living in denial. It's true that the chosen 4 killed them 10 years ago, but do you really think Giygas is the only one of their kind? On a planet at the ends of our galaxy, there are more like them, but... less corrupted. The armies of that planet are still active, sending starmen, and "UFOs", and "ghosts" like me to Earth. Mr. Abendessen, you are one of the only people left with PSI. You can save the world."

"Why can't you just get the chosen four from 10 years ago? They're still alive! I just want to get away from the starmen, not get dragged into a stupid adventure."

"They'll replace you if you die."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I’m your most sane friend, Mr. Aben-"

"No. Stop that. You’re NOT my friend. Why do you know my last name? Why are you in my DS? WHY ARE YOU IN MY LIFE?!"

Before the DS ghost could say anything, Russel shut the DS and buried it under the couch cushions.

Suddenly, the same yellow eyes appeared behind the screen of the digital clock on Russel's microwave, which began floating over to Russel.

"GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" Screamed Russel

"I'll make this quick Mr. Abysmal. There is a starman factory in Onett, Eagleland. I'll teleport you to Onett, you destroy the factory, and then you can go home and I'll just get the chosen 4 to save the world. But you replace them if THEY die. Deal?"

Russel thought to himself. The ghost wasn’t trying to kill him, but was very annoying and wouldn’t leave him alone, which was worse. The only way to get the stupid ghost to shut up was to go to Onett.

"Okay fine. I'll take the deal. I destroy the factory, and then we go right back or else I'll BURN you ALIVE. And we NEVER speak again.”

"Alright then.”

BEGINNING | PREV | [Not yet]

while you wait for chapter 2, join the official eb dinners server!

[code-heiress]

hi its time for my Yearly Foray Into Fandom Stuff and being Sad About How Its Changed Over the Last Decade

its been abt a decade since i like. joined fandom spaces for the first time, since I discovered that fanfiction was just a Thing that was Written. 10 years since reading my first Zelda x Samus shoujo ai yuri fic with lemon (that i was, admittedly, too young to read). since my first link x dark link yaoi fic that helped me figure out my sexuality. 10 years since reading fanfiction on the opera browser on my nintendo wii.

in that time ive only read for a handful of fandoms- zelda, RWBY (my main one, activity-wise), Fire Emblem (my main one, spending-wise), Homestuck (sadly), and general nintendo stuff. Ive only really been ACTIVE in like, two of those, so I guess I can only really speak for these few fandoms.

obviously over the past 10 years we've seen a massive push from corporations to enter the fandom space and milk it dry of all funds available. Which is super cringe and has been the driving force behind part of why ive burned out on fandom stuff. companies figuring out that autistic teenagers have money to spend on Blorbo from Their Show has been atrocious and predatory, especially with the rise of limited time merch runs.

we've also seen an increase in people monetizing their fanworks- ko-fi, patreon, commission work, ect, which is a weird thing. artists/writers/creators absolutely can and should be able to make money off of doing what they love but i feel like the increase in monetisation of the hobbies is a side effect of hustle culture and capitalism, which can force burnout (if i dont do x commissions a week i cant pay rent, added stress, ect).

I was there when RWBY was one of the biggest fandoms on this hellsite. I was there when people were writing fics when WE DIDNT HAVE THE NAMES OF THE CHARACTERS. when blake being a faunus was a secret. Its weird being a fandom elder when im merely and freshly 25. Its also the fandom im the most aware of the changes in. Not even talking about the death of RT, but seeing how the fandom has like. Splintered. A big part of that i feel is the shipping discourse, but its also like. idk its wack

i think the melatonin is hitting me so this is getting posted as is and im just gonn edit it wgen im coherenr

[omegaremix]

Record Reserve shopping list, 2018.

It’s been how many years since I set foot in any iteration of Record Reserve? “Iteration” because no other record store has moved locations more than any. Looks like Tim has finally found a permanent holding in Northport, close to the water. He’s been dealing since the beginning of the decade and filled in the blanks that other Northport stores Long Island Vinyl Exchange and Permanent Records once supplied. Last time I shopped there I was looking through the hardcore and punk 45′s and always bought a few from him. He said the store would be opened on Monday, so that did it for me. Little did I know that upon arrival, I see on the door that Record Reserve’s only off day was Monday itself. I was lucky.

Record Reserve is the narrowest of all stores on the island. Walk in and it’s no more than 12 feet wide. Shelves on both sides of the store allow a quick run-through of its’ entire selection in less than three hours. Behind the storefront window and the left hand side of the store are plenty of shelves of well-known and classic artists for attainable prices. What I did notice (for example) was how I found some titles for $6.00 when further down the store found the exact same copy for $4.00. I also found at least 10 Laura Nyro records in the store, a running joke Tim doesn’t realize he’s made for himself. I was feeling a late-Seventies / early-Eighties kick, so I found two of Peter Gabriel’s solo records and The Cars’ Shake It Up and Panorama. I also found me A Clockwork Orange’s motion picture soundtrack. That’s mine because you take no chances with cult status. I found The Stranglers’ at a low price. Constantly hearing of them and “An Evening With Hugh Cornwell“ which I could never get tired of hearing made me take it. No shame in picking up Debbie Gibson whom was a radio favorite during my Eighties Nintendo youth. At the very end of 20 or so shelves were the 45′s bin with a majority of classic hits and little punk and hardcore. That’s where I found Spent Idols and the Out Cider D.C. label.

On the right hand side of the store are the specifics; racks devoted to jazz, soul, punk, real Eighties metal, and black metal. As I rummaged through all the bins, I stopped at a few and tried to remember if I already had them in my collection. As if I was now holding back on purchasing blind because Youtube and Discogs make my decisions, I was gauging myself to see if I would purchase some titles anyway not remembering if I already had them or not (a future audit told me otherwise). It pained me to pass up Cabaret Voltaire’s The Crackdown, and I almost never see them up for grabs. A shiny copy of The Silver Apples’ debut was there for the taking, too. Both for at least $17.00 or more apiece, I couldn’t. I always feel I can order or find them elsewhere for less. Same for Bathory’s self-titled which was going for $25.00.

A very small selection of cassettes and CDs were a non-issue. Tim also sold taort cards, too. Ready to go? Not so fast. After scanning through both sides of an already-narrow store and a lone bin at the front of the counter, I noticed he had several rolling crates of records hiding under the bins. There goes another 30 minutes trying to strike record-collector gold on possible unexpected finds. Again, I had to swap out some picks for the exact same ones with lower price tags. I could also swear I found five more records of Laura Nyro’s. Almost three hours later, it was time to cash out.

I was the only customer in the entire store for that time. Ready to go. Tim told me that he was open that Monday because he expected to go through his Record Store Day shipments which didn’t come in. So why not open? I asked him about the vintage stereo equipment stacked in front of the registers and was curious what his going prices were. It’s been four years without a reciever since my gramma’s stopped working. Just browsing around, that’s all. He then told me “$60.00 cash or $65.00 credit?” “Credit, no discounts!” I said, because we need to keep these stores going. Tim laughed but he got it. My all-vinyl purchase here would be one of the least expensive. The day was still young, however. It’s 4 PM. Our resident dee-jay Maxwell (MXW) was on-the-air doing his local-music slot. He had his lady folk singer friend Takami aboard for the ride, listening in as I drove to the athletics store in preparation for re-joining the gym.

Cars, The Shake It Up

Rolling Stones, The Some Girls (cut-out)

Peter Gabriel Melt

Weather Report Heavy Weather

A Clockwork Orange motion picture soundtrack

Genesis Abacab

Laura Nyro self-titled

Stranglers, The IV

Samantha Fox I Wanna Have Some Fun

Spyro Gyra self-titled

Cars, The Candy-O

Peter Gabriel Scratch

Debbie Gibson Out Of The Blue

Spent Idols “Chinese Suicide” b/w “Gacy’s Gone” 7″

Out Cider D.C. label Raise The Flag: DC Hardcore Vol. 1 7″

[youtubeyouniversity]

Welcome to the University Jacob!

You have 72 hours to create your account and send a ask to the main!

MUN

Name(What you will like to be called): Cation

Age: 26

Timezone: Mountain

Activity level: Variable with school year (I work for schools, more busy during the weekdays during school year)

Url: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jacobalpharadxsquidx

MUSE

Youtubers name/channel: Alpharad (Jacob Rabon)

Age(age in the Rp 19- 25): 23 (he dropped out when he was 18 and now he’s coming back to finish what he started)

Major: Cinematography and Japanese

Content(beauty, gaming, vlog, etc): Gaming

Secret/ Why they are here: ACCEPTED

Background: Jacob Rabon was born in Norman, Oklahoma, and found an early interest in film as a child. He took video editing and cinematography classes in high school and community college, aiming to be an editor of some kind, but due to the limitations of creative freedom in that line of work, he left college to pursue making videos instead. He started his youtube career at around 18 with videos featuring flagship Nintendo titles, such as Mario, Smash Bros, Splatoon, Pokemon, among many more franchises beyond Nintendo as well like Sonic or Among Us. Most of his content involved challenges, running jokes, or speed runs. He’s been involved both as a player and a host of various Smash Bros esports events, and he’s dabbled in music as well. He streams often now, but he still posts edited or narrated videos of challenges, travelling, or events that he’s done in recent times.        

Para Sample:(Has to be at least 2 paragraphs or 10-14 sentences)

            Jacob absently scrolled through the games on his switch while he waited for the mail to arrive. He had the console propped up in the windowsill so he could see the mail truck arrive above his view of the switch’s tiny screen. Having eventually selected Splatoon, he played with his pro-controller, guiding his Octoling character around the warm-up range, popping the target practice balloons with deadly precision. He had been playing the game off camera to wind down basically every day, but he certainly couldn’t be bad at a game he played every day, could he? Well, he knew for sure he was far from the best, but at least he was far from the worst too. Maybe if the university has a splatoon team, he could play for them maybe? First things first he’d need to get that letter.

Jacob got another match, he was just playing turf war, something he could easily abandon and without worry for his rankings. His Octoling popped out up on top of her spanwer, armed with the vanilla octobrush (of course Jacob used a girl Octoling, they’re irresistibly adorable he couldn’t resist). Eager to dive on the enemy team, Jacob launched his Octoling as far forward as possible from spawn, rushing her down towards the middle of the stage with her brush inking a thin line of paint behind. From here Jacob guided his Octoling into a series of clever shark attacks on his opponents: hiding in a corner of his team’s color ink, and then striking an enemy from behind as they pass by, successfully splatting several opponents in sequence. He pushed the boundary of his team’s coverage as he killed one after another. Soon his special was fully charged, zipcaster, which would let him his zip and cling to walls like Spider-Man and rain ink down from the sky unto his next victims. The enemy team was pushed back up against their spawning grounds, and when Jacob saw that his foes entered danger, he used his zipcaster, changing his Octoling into a glowing bullet of color as she flew high up above. She lept from her high perch, the special already down to 80% and swung her brush, splatting one, then two enemies. Down to 60% he soared her back into the sky, the spot where his Octoling had just been painted the enemy team’s color in the instant after he flew. From an alternate angle, Jacob brought her back down into the fray, splatting a third opponent, leaving just one left. Hitting 20% and severely damaged by enemy paint, Jacob decided to take a risk. He pushed his Octoling further, flying directly into the last opponent. The contact splatted the opponent, but not without Jacob taking a fatal splash of ink at the same time, trading with the last opponent and earning a full team wipeout. A flash of white struck from the corner of Jacob’s eye.

The mail truck had pulled up to his mailbox and was inserting one white envelope inside. With the enemy team heavily endangered and wiped out, with ten seconds on the clock, Jacob dropped his controller to his chair as he flew out the door to get the letter. He came back inside with the letter ripped open and the words “accepted” gleamed from inside. He smiled and picked up his controller, clicking the “keep going” button that appeared on his victory screen. If the university had a Splatoon team, he will need to practice a lot with more than just turf war. 

Secret Password: Chicken Nuggets

Additional Comments: the live splatoon 3 commentary has me DEAD - Lee

[rosmerie-sleeps]

Phi and or hyde hcs pleazd

On it boss 🫡

This might be a long post because I’m more personally attached to the antagonists and that also includes Phi and Hyde so… yeah 👍

Phi

thinks he’s all that when he really isn’t all that

dresses up on the regular like he is going to a fancy rich people party that they set up in hotels and they discuss buissness there

Secretly wants to wear ball gowns or those really thought form fitting black leather dresses

Has a fully maxed out (not really) Royale high account where he spent like a bagillion Robux on before

Has a canopy bed. Also, has a big room. Everything is neatly organized and it’s so clean it gives a horror movie aura

Has Hyde’s contact number named as “spare parts”

Also, constantly harassed Hyde during their childhood cause he is a little b*cht

Wears heels. I mean. Cmon why wouldn’t he

Is a bigger drama queen than what he pretends he is.

Doesn’t really have any friends LMAO-

Is probably aroace. There is no love for anyone behind those eyes 👀

One time Hyde said that his eyes looked like the Nintendo switch and Phi was ready to drop everything and throw hands

Only really gets along with Evel. And even then they are just awkward aquantiances

was 15 years old by the time Turbo happened

Hyde

Spends a lot of money on clothes too make it look like he can’t afford clothes

Finds shattered glass cool. Once shattered a mirror just to glue the pieces of that mirror to another mirror

Both Him and Phi had Pokémon once in their corsponding consoles. One time Hyde’s pickachu won against Phi’s Pokémon, so Phi broke his console. Hyde gets all sad when he thinks about it.

Unironically likes Vocaloid

One time he hosted a Vocaloid fan club and the only other person that showed up was Aiger (who also likes Vocaloid) and that’s how they became friends.

Is some kind of gender outside of the binary. idk witch one but it’s one of them.

Looks up articles on how to be a better older sibling, prints them out and shoves them violently into Phi’s face.

His room is a mess but in an Aesthetic kind of way.

Is probably friends with Arthur (yes, Arthur Peregrine 😅)

One time broke into Phi’s room and broke one of his many mugs and then just left.

Hyde invites random people to stay over at dread tower. Hense why Kyle is here.

(I might have WAY more but that’s all I can remember 😌)

Time for my personal ratings

Phi

solid ✨9.9999999999999999999/10✨ Is a lil b*cht that holds no regards to the safety of others and manipulates people (Phi really be like “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss!” Huh) but honestly, that’s the charm. I might be biased because he is one of my 5 baby girls and the only one from beyblade for that matter, But… he’s a genuenly good character ngl. Good job for the story writers for writing him well.

Hyde

… do I really need to explain.

I do??

ok 👍

✨10/10✨ straight up one of the best characters in the series. He is my third favorite so I’m way way WAY more biased with Hyde that how I am with Phi lmao. He deserves all of the nice things in the world. It just cause, at first, you think he’s also a jerk like his brother, but he just acts out and acts that way because Phi… didn’t really care for him. It becomes more obvious as the season goes on. It just makes you sad and it makes you want to hug Hyde. Also. I like the color purple. I’m biased. Enough said

(I’ll do the rest tomorrow! For now, ask away!)

[bryan360]

Here’s my note before I’ll get started….

(NO COPYING OR PLAGIARIZING FROM ME AND ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIEND’S WORK! THAT INCLUDES OUR CHARACTERS, DESIGNS, STUFF, ETC. IMPOSTERS AND SEXBOTS ARE NOT WELCOME TO FOLLOW MY BLOG WHATSOEVER! 😡 That will be all….I mean it.)

“Day 30: Treats!!🎃🍭✨”

This is it! I'd finally reached to all thirdy-one Inktober arts of 2023. It's been heck of a ride recently when working hard throughout this month. Despite some trials and errors to learn back from; especially from past months I'd finished almost of my previous completed Inktober arts this year. That's why where I'd listed from my Inktober list of 2023 for "Day 20" to "31" as question marks/unfinished ones. However, it's time to moving on to other things like checking my Filipino pal's previous posts. Also when continuing one of my previous topic reviews; including with my recent new controller. I tried taking breaks while I'm not doing busy art activities or something. Do hope I'll take a chance for awhile.

Now to close up by having two explorers and the naughty red panda kooplings story its conclusion. It turns out, that giant pumpkin suddenly contains with of course....sweet treats! This is unexpected for Sallie Chips, but her Awoofy companion is excited to see hoards of candy. She don't know if it's safe to eat or not, but this is Halloween. I don't wanted to tell them, but it still contains some magic stuff that the red panda kooplings accidentally cast spell; way back when riding on a clown car before changing a huge pumpkin. I can seen them chuckle from behind. It's this some kind of prepared pranks they're planning. Then It was an happy accident they can go along. Do wonder what would happened next? If Sallie Chips and Awoofy can take one pieces of candy, it'll have side effect whether changing forms or having sick faces. Probably both if you can imagine what it's like.

However, this will be the end of my Inktober arts of 2023. There's plenty of time to celebrate today's Halloween; unless I'm waiting to get some treats from my mom later. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy for October 2023 before moving to November; including feasts and floats. 🦃🎈

Sallie Chips (in her safari/explorer costume and hat) & The Red Panda Kids (as half kooplings) created by me: BryanVelasquez87 (Bryan360) 

Awoofy - “Kirby and the Forgotten Land” (2022); HAL Laboratory, Inc., Nintendo®️

Tagged: @murumokirby360 @carmenramcat @alexander1301 @rafacaz4lisam2k4 @paektu

Previous: ⬇️

“Day 1: Looney 🐰🔨” - Link Here #1

“Day 2: Imposters 🕷️👉👈🕷️” - Link Here #2

“Day 3: Wild 🌲🐶” - Link Here #3

“Day 4: Thief 🐰💰” - Link Here #4

“Day 5: Moon 🌙🎣” - Link Here #5

“Day 6: Love 🐰❤️🐲” - Link Here #6

“Day 7: Dogs 😣🐶” - Link Here #7

“Day 8: Shake🥤☠️” - Link Here #8

“Day 9: Act ☎️ 🤹‍♀️” - Link Here #9

“Day 10: Pirate 🏴‍☠️🗡️” - Link Here #10

“Day 11: Shadows 🔦🙌”  - Link Here #11

“Day 12: Baddies 🚘 🎃” - Link Here #12

“Day 13: Transform 🪵💨” - Link Here #13

“Day 14: Bad Hair 💇‍♀️😱” - Link Here #14

“Day 15: Phantom 👻🦸🏻‍♂️” - Link Here #15

“Day 16: Fighters 😈👊💥” - Link Here #16

“Day 17: Ninjas 🌃🥷” - Link Here #17

“Day 18: Grim 💀🐑” - Link Here #18

“Day 19: Hill 🩻❤️👩‍🦰” - Link Here #19

“Day 20: Fury 🐢🔥⛈️” - Link Here #20

“Day 21: Farm 👩‍🌾🛸🥦” - Link Here #21

“Day 22: Magic 🐰🪄🎩” - Link Here #22

“Day 23: Smile 🐰👩‍🍳😈” - Link Here #23

“Day 24: Arcade 🕹️🦁🗡️” - Link Here #24

“Day 25: Camp 🐿️🐶🔥” - Link Here #25

“Day 26: Pets 🎧😌🎃” - Link Here #26

“Day 27: Lantern 🐱🏮⬛️” - Link Here #27

“Day 28: Five Nights 🐰🤖🍕” - Link Here #28

“Day 29: Rollout 🎃🏃‍♀️” - Link Here #29

”Day 30: Leader 🐶⬛️🗡️” - Link Here #30

[omamervt]

I still see bizarre critiques of Scarlet/Violet that betray a lack of understanding about the nature of gamedev so I wanna set a few things straight.

Now because this is the internet, I'm gonna get this out of the way. This is not a defense of GameFreak. They scaled too big considering they had a locked-in deadline beyond their control and a development pipeline that spreads decision-making way too thin between 3-4 separate entities. And this is certainly not a defense of The Pokemon Company International as a whole. They'd happily stop publishing games entirely if they thought they could sell plushies and figurines of brand-new Pokemon without them, and I frankly won't be shocked if they eventually try that.

Now first and foremost, as I'm sure many of you know, the Switch's hardware lags SO far behind its competitors. There are several reasons for this and I honestly can't fault Nintendo for some of them but that's the simple truth - from a modern standpoint, the hardware sucks. They basically just packed Wii-U hardware into a mobile device, and the Wii-U was just an Xbox 360 with a significantly worse video card.

But why is it that some games like Tears of the Kingdom run perfectly with no issues ever under any circumstances, and even other Pokemon games released the same year manage significantly better performance?

Well, long story short, those three games all decided to do the exact same thing, ran into the exact same problem, and came up with three different solutions.

Starting with Tears of the Kingdom, a massive open-world action RPG/Puzzle game, they saw the limits of the hardware, knew there was only so many assets (items, environment art, NPCs, enemies, etc) they could keep onscreen without compromising the beauty and immersion of the world, and decided they were only going to have a handful of enemies on screen at a time. Usually groups of 10 or less. There are a handful of challenges with significantly more enemies, and the game performs noticeably worse in those areas. They also had fixed spawn locations. Enemies would always appear in the exact same spot, every time you go to that area. If you've killed the enemies in that area already, they won't come back until the Blood Moon resets all encounters on the map. The reset happens periodically to prevent a memory overload from crashing the game.

In this way, Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom were very expertly designed around some luxuries that a Pokemon game doesn't have. Pokemon games need to be able to populate an area with Pokemon. Pokemon need to respawn in that area more than once every 3 hours. Once again, though, an elegant decision was reached. First, they split the map up into 5 Areas, each about as big as the main Wild Area in Pokemon Sword/Shield. Then, they tied Pokemon spawns to a random seed. You know how Minecraft uses "seeds" to generate a new world, and putting in a custom seed affects how the world is generated? Yeah, it's the same concept but with Pokemon spawns. Then, they created a 24-minute Day/Night cycle. Every 6 minutes, the time of day would change. At the end of a full cycle, the seed would be regenerated, giving you a new set of pokemon in the area. You could prevent the generation of a new seed by "Sleeping" at camp, which would return you to an earlier point in the day, potentially allowing one seed to last significantly longer, and thereby reduce the amount of data stored in short-term memory when the seed is regenerated. Returning to Jubilife Village would dump leftover data from the previous seed(s), and generate new seeds for all 5 areas. Because of the seed, the game only needed to generate new pokemon while the scene was loading, which, if you spend less than an hour in a specific area at a time, took significantly less effort. And by creating some, quite frankly, bland environments with LOTS of big clearings where most of the Pokemon appear, they were able to have loads of Pokemon on screen at a time. Also, because the Pokemon are fixed to the seed, the exact same pokemon will spawn in if you walk far enough away from them to make them despawn. Nothing is decided in the moment, so no room for hiccups!

For Scarlet and Violet, GameFreak flew too close to the sun and got burned. Rather than use the smart system they came up with for Legends: Arceus, they wanted one big open world that'd be heavily populated with Pokemon, those pokemon would have minor interactions programmed in, and the player was given access to the whole map as soon as they finished the tutorial! And... oof, you can't put that on a seed anymore, it's too many moving parts over too big of an area! With virtually no areas to load into, you can't load the Pokemon from the next area all at once. You also don't have anywhere to hide a memory dump. The only two areas that aren't part of the same big open world are the city of Mesagoza, and Area Zero. So, pokemon spawn and despawn based purely on proximity to the player and the area the player is standing in. If the player leaves the pokemon's proximity, it's gone forever, and a brand-new pokemon is generated on the spot in its place. Even though it keeps the amount of assets on screen low, it's still a lot more ongoing work that the system has to do. And to trade off for that, they cut down on the amount of environment assets even further. EVERYWHERE in Paldea is a big open field. This game doesn't even have a proper forest, and no, Tagtree Thicket doesn't count. The trees are so sparse that you can't even properly call it a Thicket. It's an embarrassment to Thickets everywhere. And even with that compromise, there were STILL massive areas of the game that simply couldn't handle the amount of work that was needed to keep up with making these big, empty fields look populated.

Look, the point is, Scarlet and Violet don't suck because of corporate greed preventing them from getting a proper development cycle. Another year in the oven might have helped, but frankly it wouldn't have fixed this mess. The core issue at the heart of Scarlet and Violet is that GameFreak had a specific experience they wanted to deliver, they made massive compromises to deliver it, and in the end, those compromises weren't enough to provide a smooth experience. They should have split the map up the same way they did Legends: Arceus, with the school and Mesagoza as the hub area you'd return to after an expedition. It's perfectly set up for it, they just chose not to for some reason. If they had, they could have copied the setup they used to make Legends: Arceus work, and the game would have likely had significantly fewer performance issues.

But even so, I find it hard to fault them for trying. They did it because it's been clear this is the experience they've been building to ever since the series went 3D. Scarlet and Violet are the games they've wanted to make for a long time, and it's evident everywhere you look that a LOT of love went into building it. This game had possibly the best supporting cast of any Pokemon game ever, a story that focused on those characters rather than the world's lore, and an absolutely killer finale. Despite its technical flaws, it's a delight to play, and even after it's been out for months, I still can't put it down, and if the people making it didn't love what they were doing, I don't think that would be the case.

[kolbisneat]

MONTHLY MEDIA: May 2023

If you notice I haven’t read as much this month, it’s because I got the new Zelda game. But between my vanquishing of evil I still managed to fit in some other media! Here’s how I spent the month of May.

……….FILM……….

BlackBerry (2023) Having grown up in Waterloo Region I didn’t have any interest in seeing a retelling of the story I mostly knew but this was really great! Surprisingly funny and frenetic and a truly unhinged (in the best way) performance from Glenn Howerton. Good stuff.

John Mulaney: Baby J (2023) I naively thought “I wonder how much this’ll touch on the drug stuff?”... turns out it’s all about the drug stuff. Cool that he was talking about it so openly, and made it so funny, but I wonder if there was more material that got cut? He briefly mentions a trip with his son and I would’ve loved to hear more about that. Anyway as a comedy special it’s really great.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023) You know I haven’t been interested in the last few Marvel movies but this one felt like it was going to be different..and it was! So many moving parts but I never had trouble keeping track of character motivations or story beats and the whole thing was really beautiful. I mean even the really gross stuff was fun to watch. Keen to go back and watch this as a trilogy down the road.

The Suicide Squad (2021) I was excited to see Guardians of the Galaxy so at the start of the month I rewatched this. Still impressed at how this can be equal parts a gross out dick joke movie and also built on a foundation of community and family. Builds well, nothing feels repetitive, and the finale doesn’t overstay its welcome. Really great stuff.

……….TELEVISION……….

The Bear (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) Never have I felt so stressed watching television. Really captivating episodes and I’m very excited to watch more.

Ted Lasso (Episode 3.08 to 3.10) Maybe it’s the time away from season 1 and 2, or maybe something happened behind the scenes, but season 3 feels different. Some eps really hit, and even some moments within those other episodes, but it all feels rather unfocused. Maybe it’ll stick the landing but my confidence has been shaken.

The Most Hated Man on the Internet (Episode 1.01 to 1.03) Perfectly paced. Just enough detail to get invested but after 3 eps it felt like I experienced the full journey. Really interested to see the public’s perception of revenge porn shift over time and I can only assume this website (and its founder) played a part in that.

……….YOUTUBE……….

Down the Off-Grid Rabbit Hole... by Maggie Mae Fish Love simultaneously learning about a corner of the internet and also how it’s exploiting others. Just wild. VIDEO

Why so many people need glasses now by Vox Turns out kids need to spend more time outside for legit biological reasons? Who knew. VIDEO

How Nintendo Solved Zelda's Open World Problem by Game Maker’s Toolkit Hey maybe you’ve been playing the new Zelda and if you have, you’ll find this interesting. I sure did. VIDEO

……….READING……….

The Righteous Mind: Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion by Jonathan Haidt (Page 165 of 500) The first time I read this, it really helped me understand the perspective some folks take on divisive topics. There was a sort of comfort to finally seeing what they’re seeing. In rereading this, I find myself getting angered while reading. The book is over 10 years old and while still relevant, it often feels quaint when talking about the widening gap between political parties. Its neutrality feels almost naive to me? Maybe I’ve forgotten a key chapter that helps.

The Fade Out by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips (It doesn’t have page numbers...maybe 1/3 of the way through) Murder in old hollywood is just so cool. I’m really digging this so far and the art, characters, and pacing feel thoroughly natural. Every reveal is just so casual cause to these characters, it’s just their lives, and I love that. Big fan so far.

Ultimate Spider-Man Volume 8 by by Brian Michael Bendis, Mark Bagley, and more (Complete) I always liked the smaller stories in this volume that focused on Peter’s personal life...like break-ups and dating other superheroes and stuff. But for some reason the Jean DeWolff/Kingpin/Moon Knight stuff always just felt kinda rushed? I dunno maybe I like everything to be a little more fantastical or suuuuuuper mundane. None of this in-between shenanigans. Give me highschool or give me death.

……….GAMING……….

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Nintendo) So good. I walked past a house that was redoing their driveway and had a bunch of construction stuff covered in a tarp and I immediately thought “hmm I wonder what I could build” and that...is the sign that I’ve played this game too much. Big fan 10/10 change nothing.

Oz: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The Mof1 Crew did some downtime planning ahead of a heist/attack combo that worked out pretty well! We played out events in weeks instead of in real time (for both the players and their enemies) and it worked pretty well!

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The group is still navigating a rival adventuring party on the island and seeing what happens now that they’ve let their star-collecting duties slip. Big trouble. You can read about it here.

Anyway that’s it. See you in June!

[kanzgamesandtrailers]

Hogwarts Legacy - Tour the Ravenclaw Common Room | PS5, Ps4, Xbox One, P...

Hogwarts Legacy: Hogwarts Legacy is a role-playing video game (RPG) developed by Avalanche Software and published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment in collaboration with Portkey Games. The game will be released in February 2023 on PlayStation 5, Xbox Series and PC (Windows, via Epic Games Store and Steam); in April 2023 on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One, and in July 2023 on Nintendo Switch. This game takes place in the world of wizards created by J. K. Rowling, without her being involved in the development and the scenario of the game. In 2022, Hogwarts Legacy is considered by some journalists to be the most anticipated video game of the year. Initially scheduled for 2021, the game's release was later announced for Christmas 2022. In August 2022, Avalanche Software announced the postponement of the game for the beginning of the following year, with a specific first release date. Hogwarts Legacy: Hogwarts Legacy, available Friday February 10, 2023 on PS5, PC and XBoxSeries. --------------------------------------------- Can you get into Ravenclaw common room? While the entrances to at least two of the other common rooms are guarded by means of passwords, the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room is a wooden door with no handle, only a knocker in the shape of an eagle. Does the Ravenclaw common room have a password? It was 'Caput Draconis' which is Latin for 'dragon's head' and that definitely fits as a straightforward password for the common room. What is the description of Ravenclaw common room? Description. The Ravenclaw common room was one of the airiest rooms at Hogwarts. It was a wide, circular room with graceful arched windows that punctuated the walls which were hung with blue and bronze silks and a midnight blue carpet covered in stars, which was reflected onto the domed ceiling. Where is Ravenclaw house located? Entrance. The entrance to the common room was located on the west side of Hogwarts at the top of a spiral staircase located on the fifth floor, and was a door without a doorknob or keyhole, but a bronze knocker in the shape of an eagle. Why is Ravenclaw so good? Ravenclaw is famous for welcoming eccentric people Intensely intelligent, Ravenclaws are also unique and think outside the box. This is usually a good thing, unless by 'thinking outside the box' you mean stealing other wizards' stories and erasing their memories, like a certain Ravenclaw called Gilderoy Lockhart. Who is the last heir of Ravenclaw? Andrea Deanisi as Wiglaf Sigurdsson, the Heir of Rowena Ravenclaw. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- *- How many hours is Hogwarts Legacy? According to a leaked art book of the game, Hogwarts Legacy will reportedly take 35 hours to complete the main story. *- What GPU does Hogwarts Legacy use?                     Recommended/High Specs RAM                                 16 GB GPU                                 NVIDIA GeForce 1080 Ti or AMD Radeon RX 5700 XT or INTEL Arc A770 DX VERSION                         DX 12 STORAGE                        85 GB SSD ---------------------------------------------------------------------- *- Can you get married in Hogwarts? Technically, weddings are not allowed at the Wizarding World, so they had to do it guerrilla-style (having a wedding while not booking the public venue). To get it done on the sly, they met behind The Three Broomsticks for a super quick and really small ceremony with a handfasting and personal vows. You'll need at least an Nvidia GeForce RTX 2080 Ti to play at 1440p, while the developer recommends jumping up to an AMD RX 7900 XT if you plan to play at 4K. Although the minimum system requirements don't seem like much, Hogwarts Legacy quickly becomes more demanding as you move past 720p.

[aerypear]

Tears of the Kingdom Review

A very very Long and honest review of the game. I’ve played ... I think almost all of the Zelda titles to completion and I wouldn’t say I’m terrible at playing games (but certainly no expert in playing them.)

I have played botw to 100% completion (Fuck Koroks) So this is from the angle of TotK being a sequel.  There will be Spoilers.

So starting out, the game is very exciting. The whole introduction to the story and plot is very solid. This is the only section of the game where the story is this solid. Thrust onto the main Sky Island where a second Temple of Time rests and you’re released to the races to get through tutorial mode. The progression of this area felt like the Great Plateau in hardness level, which is to say Very forgiving with maybe one or two enemies that may stump you. I did enjoy this area immensely and had fun finding all the ways to get across them with my own problem solving and exploring the various Caves. There’s a few problems immediate problems I noticed but ignored with a “Maybe it’s me solving the problem wrong” or “Maybe I’m using this device wrong”. Minor enough to ignore as there are other ways to solving things. That’s the blessing BotW gave and up until that point TotK also displayed. This quickly became a fallacy in various areas to varying degrees.

The second you leave the Sky Islands you’re off to the races to do... BotW Master Mode. This isn’t a big deal as I had goofed off in BotW in this way and dabbled in it’s Master Mode. While the challenge was happily accepted, I quickly grew weary of it. Monsters in this immediate zone after tutorial mode Can and Will one shot three hearts. The skill ceiling is already much higher than I expected. Add to that that you’re almost punished for making mistakes and not using the weapon fuse system (which require monster parts). Again, wrote off the previous sentence’s revelation as “The weapons are Rusty, It’s to be expected that they don’t perform well”, but this doesn’t go away even after you find their non rusty variants. In a sense, you’re not every relieved of this system. 

Why is it a problem? To get monster parts you must use your weapons, to use your weapons means you’ll need a constant supply of new weapons. This becomes a vicious farming cycle. Add onto this layer that enemies do in fact hit like tanks, this becomes a balancing problem. Nintendo made a Souls level of hardness game and marketed it to children. E10+ means ages 10 and older.

This game would frustrate and upset 10 year olds. Not it’s elements or story, no. But it’s gameplay. The game is tuned too hard for 10 year olds. They don’t get a choice in playing a Master mode level of hardness, they don’t get the freedom to problem solve and bumble through mechanics yet still beat the game. BotW was a little too easy but at least I could confidently say a child could beat that game. I can’t confidently say a child can beat some of the mini bosses and major bosses in Tears of the Kingdom. (and that’s without getting into the weirdness behind the ESRB labeling system.)

Let’s talk about the major mechanic that has everyone excited and making thousands of memes about. The Ultrahand system. It drops your frames (to varying degrees of noticeability) and is tedious. Not to mention tedious. Most of what you make won’t work even though they are designs you see npcs using, the base construct itself will not function as intended, and they added a feature where items will vanish after a certain distance/time has been met. While I’m not typically a harper on items have time limits, it does take the freedom of exploration out of the game. What does it matter that I wish to use a wing glider and soar the skies? Instead of the air balloon vanishing, why not put the fire out after a certain altitude because the air is too thin? The only wing glider I can excuse for having a limit is the one in the Tutorial zone, but outside of it; it takes me out of the game, and puts a damper on the spirit of exploration. I already explored the land in it’s entirety in BotW.  Let me explore it from a new perspective! Let’s round back to the wing Gliders actually. These are the devices that have the most ire from me. When they do work, they work fabulously. When they don’t, You fall out of the air like a rock, for no reason. I can understand this happening in the depths where air is stagnant. But Failed to understand this in the Sky and Land. When it does work, It’ll vanish. Very annoying.

I’m also disappointed that there aren’t more Sky islands that aren’t dedicated to Puzzles. There’s no other islands that exist for the sake of Lore. We’ll come back to lore later. I want to move on to other mechanics that were introduced yet you’re punished for using. Unlike BotW, we can attach buggies to our horses and put just about whatever suits our fancy in it. Koroks, Food, weapons, Zonai devices, etc. This system instantly was rendered null and void with enemies lining the main road wielding fire. I don’t know how npcs are getting to and from locations with a cart because you certainly can’t. They’ll burn anything made out of wood to spite you with ridiculously good aim. The other way this system was rendered useless is via the Save feature. Any items you drop, once you load up a save will be gone. This includes anything you fused onto your cart. 

A not so surprising issue that the game still has is Constantly triggering a blood moon. Something Nintendo said they had fixed, but given the amount of enemies you need to kill just for their supplies to function, was made null and void. Near the start of the game I found I was triggering a blood moon every other in game day. If you’re taking it slow and avoiding every enemy there is, a natural cycle is 7 in game days. 

Let’s finally talk lore. It’s a mess. I have lofty opinions of the Zelda lore as I can word vomit just about any game’s lore at the drop of a hat, and TotK lore is disappointing, pointless, logically flawed, and doesn’t make sense. It’s trying so hard to be it’s own identity but too busy running in the guise of almost every Zelda game. The Wind temple boss was literally Gohma from Windwaker that can fly like Mogera and it’s called... Colgera. I’m fine with Legend of Zelda reusing boss names, and switching up their concepts, but it becomes FAR too on the nose that the wind temple is associated with the Rito, and Gohma was on the Rito’s Island in Windwaker.  Like previous Zelda games, we are once again introduced to the concept of Sages. A plot beat that you can get instantly from going to the major regions where the other races reside like the npcs tell you to do, or one you can scratch your head at if you beelined it to Kakariko. 

Every game had their way of highlighting a Sage, Link to the Past the 7 maidens are descendants of the 7 wise men, Ocarina of time there are 7 sages, 6 of which are the elements Light (Hylian), Forest (Kokiri), Fire (Goron), Water (Zora), Shadow (Sheikah), and Spirit (Gerudo). The Sage of Light’s name, Rauru, makes a reappearance in TotK reprising his role as wielding light. WindWaker introduces us to two new elements that are Sages, Wind and Earth. Laruto (zora) being the previous Earth sage before Medli (Rito), and Fado (kokiri) being the previous Wind sage before Makar (Korok). Twilight princess has six Sages with the sage of water being killed. Spirit tracks shows there are 7 sages called Lokomos, introducing us to 3 new concepts Snow, Ocean and Sand. Link Between worlds are Seven sages that are descendants from the seven maidens. Most of which are Hylians. In Four Swords, it’s a reversal that the 7 maidens are descendants of 7 sages. Wise Men is To Maidens is to Sages is to Maidens.

All of this to say, that in all the games, unlocking the majority of the sages was a part of the plot and the over all story. This is true for learning more about the story in TotK, but you do not need to unlock the sages to face ganon, and you certainly don’t feel their weight of importance as Sages like previous games. Various roles the Sages preformed in previous game was unlocking other sections of the map, Powering the Master Sword, Protecting the Sacred Realm, Helping to Seal Enemies, Acting as Link’s Guides, or requiring rescue because their power being sealed Bolsters Ganon. They’re only Fighting buddies in Tears of the Kingdom. Optional fighting buddies that are a bigger hassle to use than it is worth as you must run up to them and click A. During mid Combat that can be hard. The story takes a “Link doesn’t have to fight alone” narrative but the sages don’t come with link. Their Spirit Simulacrum forms do. Their purpose in the story is Zelda bidding the Ancient Sages to Stand with their temples for a long ass time for the sake of passing on their power to their descendants to take up the mantle of being the next Sage. That’s it. That’s their plot narrative. Did I inundate you with Sage information just to make it clear how VERY off to the side these sages are? Yes. I hope it drives home my disappointment that the sages in this game are just more Tedious versions of BotW Champions that Link for some reason doesn’t have their abilities of anymore. One could even argue that the Champions were more plot relevant given their affiliation with the Divine beasts being taken over by Ganon and that’s what is causing problems in the 4 regions of the world. Not, the ancient Sages left behind their contraptions in very inconvenient locations that are screwing their descendants over...

Zelda’s Role in the game is also complex and stupid. Acting as the Sage of Time (not a surprise given her affiliation with Hylia, and the Princess’s natural born power) she decides that leaving behind anything that would help Link is too logical. See, she does a lot of things for him but doesn’t actively partake in actually helping him. In fact, she’s your biggest road block. Which is a shame because they set her up in such a way in the beginning of the game that made it seem like this wasn’t yet another “Link, you must find me” Round two. The whole game she taunts you in the sky as the Light Dragon (and no this doesn’t make sense), and flies particularly in inconvenient locations While with the Master Sword in her head. It’s fine that she has it. It’s not fine that she’s actively your biggest fucking thorn in the side to retrieving it. Zelda takes a role in the game that I can only explain as Savior Complex.

For a Game that promised to be lore heavy given the implications of talking about ancient hyrule, there’s quite frankly nothing there to learn about it. You’re teased with the prospect of many things having occurred in Ancient Hyrule and the most the npc robots left from this bygone era can tell you is their function and what the location served as. You know small things like the ancient temple of time originally being on land, but now isn’t, you know that they dug underground and made the depths one big mining facility. That’s it. It’s a game that focuses on mechanics, and a good deal of them weren’t thought through.

If you made it this far, you might be wondering if I even like this game? It’s complicated. I enjoy the game. I have become a depths gremlin. I live there now. However, if someone were to say “I love lore, should I play TotK” I would tell them to go play a different Zelda game. If someone didn’t play BotW and wanted to play TotK, I would strongly suggest they go back to BotW and play that where it’s more forgiving to learn your controls. If someone likes dark locations where you can’t see, Come join the depths club. Way more than enough room to join down here. We waited 6 years for this and it honestly feels more like a DLC but at least it has some fun aspects to it.