#Why does writing taking so long… spoiler: the multiple plots

[sagevalleymusings]

An Overly In-depth Analysis of Spinning Silver Many Years Late

`When I first started writing this in 2022, I had recently finished reading Naomi Novik’s Spinning Silver for the first time. I wanted to remember a particular quote in the book, and stumbled upon some reviews from 2019, when the paperback was released.

The quote I was looking for: You will never be a Staryk Queen until you make a hundred winters in one day, seal the crack in the mountain, and make the white tree bloom.

The reviews: 

…read Temeraire and Uprooted at least ten times, but couldn’t reread this. The relationships between the two main men and two main women are abusive. Certainly, there’s trauma involved, but it’s not a woman’s job to heal men’s trauma through sacrificing themselves…

…I adored Uprooted (had some issues, but still loved it completely), however Spinning Silver just felt off – not as magical, terrible “romances”, too many POVs, etc. All in all, it just wasn’t as gripping. I liked Miryem’s character, but the other two protagonists were very bland “strong female characters…”

I hate this. I hate this so much. I hate this enough that I’m going to write an excessively long post defending Spinning Silver for three years. For everyone that doesn’t want to read a masters-student dissertation of an essay or who hasn’t read the book yet and wants to go into this spoiler free, here’s the TL:DR version. There are no romances in this book. The two reviewers above are trying to apply the enemies to lovers tropes they loved so much in Uprooted to a grimm fairy tale about politics, feminism, and Jewish persecution. There are no romances in this book. This is hard to grasp, because two of the main characters are married, and that marriage is a major part of the plot, but no one in those marriages including the men wanted the marriage in the first place. To call it “abusive” is to read modern expectations onto a historical political marriage that, while not inaccurate, fundamentally misunderstands the point and the context in which the story takes place. 

Also, I would recommend the audio book, if you have trouble with multiple points of view. They are all in first person, and although it starts out with just two, we add more and more POV until there’s 5 or 6 total. The reader Lisa Flanagan does an excellent job distinguishing POVs which will make this aspect of it easier. Read the book, particularly the audiobook. But if you are reading this book looking for romance, you’re going to be disappointed. It’s still one of the best if not the best re-imagined fairy tale I’ve ever read. Here’s an excessively long post about why.

The Introduction

The very first thing we’re introduced to is Miryem as our narrator explaining that stories aren’t about “how they tell it” but getting out of paying your debts. So how do “they” tell it? The introductory story is about a girl having sex out of wedlock who is left in the lurch because the “lord, prince, rich man’s son” has a duty. 

It’s about saving yourself for marriage. Even in how “they” tell it, who the man is doesn’t matter and no one is in love. Your duty to your family comes first. 

This story is not about romance. The story this story is subverting is not about romance. Even in how “they” tell it, romance isn’t a good thing. 

In actual fairy tales, not Disney princess stories, romance often has nothing to do with it. These are stories for little children to get them to obey their parents. Rumpelstilskin is about ingenuity and perseverance. Even in a story like Cinderella, the romance is entirely incidental - the story is about hard work, strength through adversity, and moral superiority. The marriage itself isn’t romantic in the sense that the two main characters fall in love. These stories are older than the modern concept of love. For authors with a strong sense of familial duty and nationalism, writing about something as subversive as romantic love would go against their goals.

This is the setting that Spinning Silver takes place in. It’s a modern fairy tale set in a regency era. The fairy tale Miryem tells in our introduction paints romance as a bad thing. You marry out of duty. 

But Miryem from the start tells us that filial duty isn’t what the stories are really about. They’re really about paying your debts. Within the first 2 minutes of this book, it’s already told us three times that this story isn’t about romance. Once in the setting of a fairy tale about filial duty, once in the denial of how they tell it, and once in the revelation of the real interpretation.

The Power of Threes

The power of repetition and specifically of threes comes up over and over again in the book. In many cultures across the world, three has special significance. From the fairy tale side of it, Rumpelstilskin itself contains layers of threes within threes. Rumpelstilskin makes a bargain for the miller’s daughter on the third night. The queen has three days to guess Rumpelstilskin’s name, and guesses three names each day.

It’s likely that these repetitions of threes in fairy tales come from the Christian backdrop they were written in, which at times focuses on the third path in the middle of two binaries, or the significance of building power, though it’s difficult to make any sweeping, central claims about why three is significant because fairy tales are so widespread across countries, time, and religion. But it’s important that Novik is writing this from a Lithuanian Jewish perspective, so there’s a subtle shift in the interpretation and meaning of the rule of threes. I’m not Jewish, so what specifically this is as grounded in Novik’s ancestry is something I can’t be clear on.

During my research, one explanation that seems to resonate with the symbolism of this book is a Chabad interpretation. From chabad.org: The number three symbolizes a harmony that includes and synthesizes two opposites. The unity symbolized by the number three isn’t accomplished by getting rid of number two, the entity that caused the discord, and reverting to the unity symbolized by number one. Rather, three merges the two to create a new entity, one that harmoniously includes both opposites. 

Lithuanian Judaism is majority non-Hasidic, so this is just one tangentially-related explanation of the importance of threes. I’m sure there’s other interpretations I’m missing because I can’t possibly begin to know where to look. But I like this explanation for grounding the story because I think it fits well with the symmetry of our protagonists and their husbands (or lack thereof), and the way the story is building to their creating something new.

So when the very first thing we are shown within the first two minutes of the book is a thrice denial of romance, we need to take Naomi Novik seriously when she says that the book is about getting out of paying your debts. Or, at the very least, this is what Miryem thinks the book is about. The way in which the characters grow and change does reveal some of the original cynicism in this thesis, but ultimately this is a story about what we owe each other, and how that debt comes for us if we don’t pay it. And on top of that, Miryem describes the love interest of the miller’s daughter as “lord, prince, rich man’s son” (3 possibilities). Who this love interest is doesn’t matter in the slightest.

All this to say that within the first two minutes of the book, if you are still reading this expecting a romance, you aren’t listening to the author.

Jewish Heritage

Also within the first few minutes of the book, we learn that Miryem is a Jewish moneylender in a fantasy version of Russian-occupied Lithuania some time in the Middle Ages. I’m not going to get too deep into this. I am, as I said, not Jewish, and these characterisations edge very close, on purpose, to deeply anti-Semitic tropes. But understanding what Novik is saying about her heritage and her family’s persecution is critically important to understanding the book. 

Naomi Novik is a second-generation American. She’s Lithuanian Jewish on her father’s side, and Polish Catholic on her mother’s side. In many ways, Spinning Silver has been treated as a spiritual successor to Uprooted. Uprooted is set in a fantasy version of Poland, Spinning Silver is set in a fantasy version of Lithuania. Both stories are about Novik’s heritage, and the stories from her ancestors. Spinning Silver is a lot more obvious about this, but there’s a non-zero amount of Catholicism in the way the Dragon structures his magic, and in the older folk magic that lives in the trees.

Spinning Silver is much more explicit, and Novik has said as much, that Miryem’s family is supposed to reflect her father’s family and his experience as a Lithuanian Jew.

Our book takes place in a fantasy version of Lithuania in 1816. That’s a very specific date I’ve picked out for a book that otherwise appears to be ‘the ambiguous past.’ How did I come to that conclusion?

I did a little bit of research to try and determine when and this is what I came up with: Lithuania didn’t exist until the 13th century. Lithuania didn’t have a tsar on the throne until Russian imperialism in the late 1700s. Restrictions on Jews’ ability to work in craft or trade began around 1100 in Europe, and began to wane around 1850. In Lithuania, this fluctuated depending on the specific time period, so we can a little further narrow the timing down to after the mid 1600s but before the 1850s, probably during early Russian imperialism. Leadership is religious, either Eastern Orthodox or Catholic, who at the time believed that charging interest was sinful, so employed members of other religions, specifically Jews, to do their money lending for them. Because of the association with sinful, dirty work, and previous oppression as a religious minority, this led to a significant rise in anti-Semitism, coming to a head with a series of Jewish pogroms in Russia from (officially) 1821-1906, leading millions to flee and thousands of deaths. So we can narrow our estimation down to about 80 years, between 1820-1900.

Then my historian partner started reading it with me and exclaimed, "is that a reference to the Year Without A Summer" so actually 1816, but you can also see how easy it is to narrow that date down even as an amateur just by examining the exact flavor of anti-Semitism in the text. Which is why, even after I learned about the year Without A Summer, I left my aimless searching in.

Most audience members probably don’t know this much detail about history, but Spinning Silver is very clearly written with an audience understanding of this history in mind. We’re supposed to see the rise in anti-Semitism throughout the book which adds a layer of tension because at any moment, the politics in the wider world and rising anti-Semitism might catch up to our protaginists, and Miryem and her entire family could be killed. 

That’s it, book over. Anti-Semitism sweeps through, destroys everything it touches, and none of the clever problem-solving of any of our heroines matters. It’s over.

This dark possibility looms over the story like a storm cloud the entire time. The most explicit reference is when Miryem uses the tunnel her grandfather dug.

“I pulled it up easily, and there was a ladder there waiting for me to climb down. Waiting for many people to climb down, here close to the synagogue, in case one day men came through the wall of the quarter with torches and axes, the way they had in the west where my grandfather’s grandmother had been a girl.”

The fear of persecution isn’t just something of the past. It is something that people in this community are actively thinking about and planning contingencies for.

We’re five pages in and I’ve barely gotten through the first five minutes of the book. I could do this for literally the rest of the book if I wanted to - five minutes later, Miryem as narrator starts talking about a festival at the turn of the seasons between Autumn and Winter, which she calls “their festival” and resents the townspeople for it because they’re spending money they borrowed from Panov Mandelstam on it. Meanwhile, Panov Mandelstam is lighting a candle for the third day of their own festival, when a cold wind sweeps in and blows the candles out. Her father tells them it’s a sign for bed time instead of relighting them, because they’re almost out of oil. Panov Mandelstam is reduced to whittling candles out of wood because, “there isn’t going to be any miracle of light in our house.” I didn’t catch this the first time around, because I’m an ignorant goyim I wasn’t thinking about this book as an explicitly Jewish fairytale. But Novik is obviously making a reference to Channukkah, and the fact that Panov Mandeltam doesn’t relight the candles for Channukkah is powerfully unsettling. And then on the eigth day, Miryem takes up her father’s work and collects the money he’s been neglecting, and there is light in their house for Channukkah after all, but the miracle is hard work, not magic. The entire book is like that, layers upon layers of meaning with every sentence. Subtle clues before the curtain is pulled back. I want to teach a seminar using only this book on the definition of “show, don’t tell.”

Good and Evil

But at some point I’m going to have to move on, and so let’s talk about trauma, poverty, and morals.

Novik introduces the townsfolk as Miryem sees them, but not all the townsfolk. Each person introduced by name winds up coming back later, enacting some kind of harm. But it seems to me that this harm is foreshadowed in each instance.

First, we’re introduced to Oleg. Oleg’s wife is described as being Oleg’s “squirrelly, nervous wife.” This isn’t the only time it occurs to me to wonder if Oleg beats his wife, but I think the description is intentional. Oleg eventually tries to murder Miryem, for explicitly anti-Semetic reasons, but I think this violence is foreshadowed in the way we see him interact, in brief flashes, with his wife and son, and how they’re always described as being a little withdrawn, a little afraid of Oleg, and not very sad that he’s gone, except in the part where this is going to be a financial burden on the family.

Next introduced is Kajus. Kajus who had borrowed two gold pieces to establish himself as a krupnik brewer (the krupnik he brews would lead to Da’s alcoholism). His solution to Miryem banging on their doors is to offer her a drink. Clearly getting people hooked and indebted to him is a tactic he’s used to success more than once. 

The last person introduced in this sequence is Lyudmila. Again, we are given a set of three. Lyudmila is different. Lyudmila never borrowed money. She doesn’t have a direct reason for despising the Mandelstams. Or at least, she shouldn’t. And yet, her distain jumps off the page. Lyudmila is the quiet, insidious voice spreading lies and rumors about the Jewish family in town. Her violence is not explicit. But it is the same.

The last person we’re introduced to, given an entire separate section to his own, is Gorek.

Good and Evil part 2 - is Wanda’s Da an evil character?

Gorek, who’s better known for the rest of the book as Wanda’s Da, is also introduced to us first as a borrower trying to get out of paying his debts. Gorek is a violent drunk. This is established repeatedly. Gorek is not a good man.

But is he evil? Certainly he seems to be the antagonist of Wanda’s story, and there’s no love lost when he dies. But I think it’s interesting that even Gorek, in many respects, is sympathetic. He’s not very different from any of the other men in this town. Oleg is violent. Kajus profits off the many people in the town that drink their troubles away. Gorek is not uniquely awful even if he is particularly awful. And even for Gorek, the text takes pains to remind us that he buried his wife and five children. His life is hard. Their plot of land is sat next to a tree where nothing will grow. How much rye did they waste before they learned that lesson? And when Mama was alive, they had enough to eat in the winter, but only because she was very, very careful to divide everything up. On his own, Gorek couldn’t make that math add up, even before he started drinking his troubles away. Gorek is facing a life where unless something drastic changes, he and his children will slowly starve to death, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

So he sells his daughter for one jug of krupnik a week. Gorek has made his bed; he doesn’t want to keep living. He’s drinking himself into the grave he dug for his wife. But in the meantime he does still need to take care of his children.

I don’t say this to forgive his actions; I do think Gorek’s actions are unforgivable. Some people cannot be redeemed, they can only be defeated, and Gorek is one of those people. But at the end of the book, Wanda and Sergei and Stepon still bury him when they go back to Pavys, next to the rest of their deceased family.

Gorek is a product of his environment, and that environment is cruel and cold. The people it produces are by and large cruel and cold. No one in the town bothers to bury Gorek. No one stops him from hitting his wife and children. There’s nothing at all strange, according to the rest of the town, about his selling his daughter for drink.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that Gorek is not evil, but I also think that this book is taking pains to present with sympathy the kind of environment which creates people like Gorek. Like our Staryk king, who was entirely prepared to force himself onto Miryem even though neither one of them wanted it. Like Mirnatius, who did not himself commit any acts of violence, but who was perfectly willing to benefit from the violence being committed with his face. The world is cold and cruel, and it is very, very easy to become cold and cruel from it.

The Power of Threes revisited: Miryem’s magic

Even Miryem says that she’s had to be cold and cruel to be their family’s moneylender. We don’t see very much of this. But she does after all agree to have someone work in her house for essentially no pay. We don’t necessarily realize it, because it comes at our own turning point, but Miryem has to learn empathy just as much as her Staryk king does. When she agrees to allow Flek and Tsop and Shofer to help her with her trials.

I read Novik’s new anthology Buried Deep and Other Stories and in that collection she says it’s a line from the Staryk king about Miryem’s magic that made her want to expand what was originally a short story into a full book. “A power claimed and challenged and thrice carried out is true; the proving makes it so.”

Fairy tales are about hard work. This line from the Staryk king isn’t just a way of constructing magic, it’s just literally true. If I get a job as an accountant, despite not knowing anything about accounting, and I don’t fail, then by the end I will be an accountant. I love this, that the magic in Spinning Silver is just hard work.

Miryem’s magic is another rule of threes. The Staryk king challenges her to turn silver into gold three times, to make the magic true, and she does it – with mundane means, through ordinary hard work, but it’s done. She barters freedom for a day by turning three storehouses to gold, and she does that too – with wit and hard work, but it’s done. The Staryk king challenges her that she’ll never be a Staryk queen, unless she can do three feats of high magic, and she does each one. Or rather, each one gets done, and Miryem has a hand in it. But the first feat of high magic requires the assistance of one other person. The second – the assistance of three. Much like each trial before it grew in magnitude – first 6 coins, then 60, then 600 – so too do all three stories grow in magnitude. It would stand to reason then that the third test of magic would require at least three upon three people. But Miryem is not the only protagonist in this story.

Circling back to Romance: Arranged Marriage is Bad That’s Obviously The Point

In addition to the rule of threes woven repeatedly in Miryem’s story, the entire story itself is a Triptych. One story is the story of the girl who could turn silver into gold. One story is the story of the children who find themselves lost in the woods and stumble onto a witch’s house full of rich food. One story is the story of the duke’s misfit daughter who marries a prince. They are all of them different fairy tales. And at the end of the story, they all come crashing into each other. The white tree belongs to Wanda’s story, bought with six lives.

Three sets of three people in each story

There are many, many examples of threes woven throughout this story, but it was only three years into writing this essay that I realized that the marriages themselves are a set of three as well. After all, only Irina and Miryem get married, right?

But Wanda is offered a marriage proposal. In a story with less magic, Wanda would have married Lukas, and been yet another generation of poor, miserable women that died in childbirth. But Wanda says no, a thing entirely unheard of in this era. Women didn’t say no to marriages arranged by their fathers.

And at the end of the story, Wanda is still unwed, with absolutely no indication that this will ever change. Wanda’s agency, this rejection of marriage, is treated with the same weight as the marriages themselves. Saying no is just as valuable as Irina’s political marriage, or courting for a year and a day and marrying for love, as Miryem eventually does.

And Miryem does marry for love. She originally has no choice in the matter, but that contract is rendered void when the Staryk king is forced to let her go. We don’t see the year’s worth of courting because it’s not relevant to the story because this is not a romance but I really don’t want to lose this point because I think Wanda’s story sometimes gets forgotten precisely because it doesn’t have a marriage. But Novik is explicit about this through Wanda’s story. Irina had no choice, not really. So it never occurred to her to say yes or no. She kills the man who sought to marry her – Chernobog wanted to marry Irina, not Mirnatius. Irina murders her would-be husband, Miryem divorces hers, and Wanda says no. Yes, the arranged marriages in this book are abusive – Novik knows that and tears them down one by one and rebuilds them into something with far more agency, that our women protagonists chose.

The Story

So we’ve come all this way and learned that Spinning Silver is not a romance, not really. The married couples in the story do come to love each other, after a fashion. But that love blooming was not the point. The point was…

Well it was about getting out of paying your debts, wasn’t it? Novik told us very explicitly that it was about getting out of paying your debts right on the first page. It’s not how they told it. But she knew.

Miryem spends the entire book making her fortune from nothing. Wanda takes over the work from her. Stepon takes over after Wanda. The debt that the town owed to Josef was a major thread over and over again throughout the whole story. Oleg tries to kill Miryem over it. The Staryk king seeks Miryem’s hand because of it. Raquel had been sick because their dowry had been spent. Wanda comes to their house to pay off the debt. Nearly everything in the book can be traced back to the debt against Josef Mandelstam.

And then, in Chapter 25, Josef sends Wanda with many letters to the people of the town forgiving all the remaining debt that was owed. The people of Pavys get out of paying their debt.

But… how do they get out of it? Not through any trickery of their own, not really. There is a stated implication that fear was a big part of it. Sending Wanda with letters of forgiveness would mean that they would not be harried or harmed while they were wrapping up affairs in the town. But Josef also doesn’t need the money. They have a home of their own, many hands to make light the work, blessings from the Sunlit Tsar to establish their place in the world, and blessings from the Staryk king that will ensure their safety even through a hard winter. They want for nothing, so they do not seek to reclaim what is theirs.

And in a way they got all those blessings through paying their debts, but in a way they did not. The Staryk way of paying their debts teaches us something very important about what a debt really is. The Staryks don’t keep debts. They make fair trade. And if they can’t make fair trade, there is no deal. Or at least, they say they make fair trade. They didn’t trade for the gold they steal from the Sunlit world, though I suspect they would argue that the pain that is caused to the people of that world is trade for their putting a monster on the throne. And Miryem rightly points out that they had been raiding for gold and raping the people of Lithvas long before Chernobog sat on the throne. They make fair trade. But only with those they view as their equals.

But the Sunlit world is even worse. The Tsar doesn’t make fair trade. He spends magic like water and steals the lives of people that didn’t bargain with him to pay for it. In the Sunlit world, people take as much as they can with as little return as they can get away with. Not everyone, of course. But it is of particular note here that in this story, Jews are vilified particularly because they ask for fair trade in return. And the people they loan money to don’t want to give it to them.

But fair trade can only go so far. The Staryk king is trying to make a road back to his kingdom, and he can’t, because there is nothing of winter that they can find in the warm summer day. And he cannot take Stepon’s white tree seed, because it was bought with six lives, and given to Stepon alone, and there is nothing that the Staryk king can barter with that would measure against a mother’s love. But Stepon wants to see the white tree grown, so they find a way to plant it. Irina digs hard soil in apology, and the Mandelstams sing a hymn to encourage growth, and although none of this was done for the Staryk king, he still uses the work to create his road.

Sometimes, fair trade isn’t enough, and one must trust that it is to the benefit of all to aid each other.

The truest way of getting out of paying your debts… is to abolish the concept of debt.

That’s right, motherfuckers, eat your kings and burn the banks to the ground, love is the anti-capitalist manifesto we made along the way!

This section was going to be a little bit of a joke, but the more I think about it, the more it really isn’t. Miryem’s magic makes wealth meaningless in its magnitude. Wanda’s magic is having food and shelter to spare. And Irina’s magic is having just leadership that rules for the people, not for power. Novik’s fairytale ending is collectivism. She tells us three times, through three stories of hardship. And it isn’t even about becoming a princess, because Wanda marries no one, and lives in a magical house that seems to always have everything they need. So long as they do what they can to take care of it.

The real magic is community. Doing for yourself what you can, and reaching your hand to another when you can spare, so that they might do the same. And so long as we all do that together, the darkness cannot come in to feast.

[ethosiab]

I’m. So normal about the team Canada au. So normal and definitely not about to combust. Really just the most normal a person could possibly be. Perfectly still and certainly not vibrating out of my skin. I am. Calm.

Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please say more I must know about the little dudes I will not survive the winter

i believe you . you're soooo normal.

i, however, am not. long rambles + art under the cut

plot-wise, the AU is predominantly centered around the two Ethos—the 'original', who works for the Script Foundation and donated his DNA to their clone research for a little extra cash, and 404, an escaped clone and one of the more successful results of said research. The Script Foundation is a scientific/medical corporation, among the many in the system looking for a cure to death. To get around their inability to experiment on human subjects, they developed the cloning program, to develop realistic human bodies without the consciousness that brings in ethical issues (spoiler alert this does not happen).

When 404 escapes, of course the Script Foundation wants them back. A bounty is put out for them, and the Etho's put on a team to help bring them back. Etho, Tango (ship mechanic, Etho's only friend), and Joel (bounty hunter, does not want to be here) spend their time hunting down 404, and running into many issues along the way.

On the other side of things, 404 spends only about 3 hours on the run before they run into Pause and Beef. There's a lot of weirdness here, 404 doesn't recognize Pause and Beef beyond a sense of deja vu, and Pause and Beef think 404 is Etho (who they have not seen in years and have presumed is dead). I'm writing a fic for this scene, actually. long story short team canada takes 404 in, and agree they can stay with them for a bit.

From this point on, there's a lot going on for both sides.

Etho's face is plastered all over the city, it's a pretty high bounty, and he probably gets mistaken for 404 multiple times before the information gets updated with a photo of 404 with the scar. Joel and Tango have to work together to rescue him after he gets captured by rival bounty hunters

404 gets beef and pause to call them that, because they don't want to be etho (and the confusion that would come from using that name is immense). they aren't etho. they're not entirely satisfied with going by their number designation though, but they've got nothing better

pause and beef continue to grapple with the fact that A: etho is not dead, B: the guy that looks like Etho, who is currently sleeping on their couch, is not actually Etho, and C: they're helping a wanted criminal

The two of them do briefly consider handing 404 over, with the logic that they shouldn't have any attachment to them since they're just a clone, not actually their friend. They can't bring themselves to, though.

404's scar is from a knife to the face- when they first met beef and pause, 404 had no idea who they were. they were scared, and intimidated, and those two were acting way too familiar with them. they attacked pause, and he retaliated. it just so happened that pause was armed, and trained how to fight, and 404 was...not.

luckily, 404 heals quickly. a cut to the face that should have taken minimum of a month to heal, and should have been fatal without medical attention, resolves itself in a few days. ...that's probably why the script foundation wants him back, huh.

Team canada are able to keep the knowledge that theyre harboring a fugitive on the downlow by being known bounty hunters- they've generally got good standing with people.

in fact, 404 just helps them with bounty hunting. They have the time of their life doing this shit. pause and beef love having them around too (it makes them wish Etho had agreed to join them doing this, all those years ago).

team canada are having a lighthearted and fun time, things go wrong but they escape trouble and everything ends alright. that's their vibe.

for etho though, everything keeps going wrong it's almost comical. everytime they've got a lead and almost catch 404, something gets in the way. in my head this au really is just a space opera anime in a similar vein to cowboy bebop, so etho and the gang are like the very unlucky villains.

tango and joel are constantly bickering. a big point of contention between them is that joel wants to fly the ship, because this is his mission and he was hired to do this, but Tango won't let him because its his ship and he's not going to let some bounty hunter drive it. Etho is so tired.

404 does not wear a facemask like etho. in fact its just a generally stressful time for etho to have his face well known everywhere. he doesn't like people seeing his face, and while mostly its an anxiety thing during social interaction, after so long of keeping it private, its really unsettling having to see it everywhere.

Joel's mostly in it for the money to pay off his debt, Tango's there because he's worried about Etho, and Etho's doing it because he thinks he has to. He hasn't really had a life seperate from the Script Foundation in years, it's all he knows. for him, this is about finding out what he's being made to do it fucked up, and the choice to do something about it.

It's about seeing this happier and more free version of himself, and choosing to help them instead of feeling the resentment he wants to. (Look at this person who is meant to be you. they are experiencing the joy you never got with the people you turned your back on. you realise you've never gotten that, you've been hiding from yourself for your entire life because you've been scared of upsetting the quota. you've been settling for mediocrity when you could've had so much more. Are you going to allow them that?)

also 404 might figure out theyre trans so that's a really fun thing for etho to find out about himself through his clone.

yeah i think the genres here are very different depending on whether you're looking at it from 404 or from Etho's pov lmao

and this isn't even getting into the shit about genetically enhanced humans, or cyborgs.

okay you've made it this far, have some sketches of the ethos as reward. these are from probably a mid point in the plot, i was playing with the idea of 404 being able to grow their hair our for a few months after escaping.

[sloppy-rants]

Rottmnt Rant #2

(Leonardo centered)

One thing I adore about rise is that if you pay attention there are no character traits that ever come out of the blue. They have always been present within the show, they just don’t have any spotlights on them.

One example of this is Leo’s martyr complex, as well as his habit of making jokes out of serious situations. These traits are very present in the movie, and are even main plot points that push the narrative forward. These traits have always been present in the show, however one episode that I think contains multiple examples of these is the episode “Flushed but Never Forgotten.”

⚠️SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE EPISODE AND THE MOVIE⚠️

In the episode Flushed but Never Forgotten, the boys accidentally flush their dad’s pet fish, Piebald. They decide to cover it up, lying to their dad and replacing piebald with a ‘perfect’ replica (a rock with googly eyes glued on). After about a year, Mikey starts to feel guilt over the loss of piebald, and tells the rest of his brothers about writing on the walls and voices he’s heard that he thinks are coming from her.

We find out that Piebald has returned, and is now a mutant capable of talking and possessing abilities such as turning invisible/camouflaging with her surroundings. Upon initial discovery, the boys are terrified. All of them except Leo.

Leo responds to seeing piebald with “Okay so she’s a mutant.” While the others are obviously scared shitless. This only lasts for a moment, but it demonstrates his true nature, as in this moment he hasn’t had enough time to lie and come up with some sort of fake or funny reaction. He uses one of his coping mechanisms, humor, to deal with the situation. Now of course, after this he goes right back to being scared with all of his brothers, as one would do, but I find it interesting that his initial reaction was to tone down the situation and after that he showed fear, rather than the other way round. Moments like this are sprinkled through the whole show, but I decided to focus on this one simply because of how small and fast it is. It would have been so easy to have Leo just scream along with all the others, but the writers decided to add this bit in. You might think of this as just a joke the writers added in for shits and giggles, but he does this multiple times in the series. A rather popular example of this being his line “Soo.. you guys from Jersey?” in the very first episode.

Now his Martyr complex, I know is a very popular topic for Leo. It provides juicy angst, and it’s a wonderful topic to use for drawings, fan fictions, and rants such as I’m doing now. But usually, those are all centered around the movie. The movie’s climax features Leo locking himself in the prison dimension with Krang prime, sacrificing himself for those he cares about. What I don’t think people talk about enough is that this isn’t the only time Leo does this. This is another reason why I decided to focus on this episode specifically.

Later in the episode, Piebald ends up taking Leo’s entire family. His brothers, his dad, even the paper foot ninja they took in. Initially, he has a plan to gain the upper hand against Piebald. He uses her own trick against her, camouflaging with his surroundings to use the element of surprise against her. Once this fails, however, he finds himself backed into a corner. His family is tied together, hanging behind him as they dangle over a large whirlpool of sewer water, about to be flushed as they had done to Piebald so long ago. In one last desperate attempt to save his family, he pleads with Piebald to let his family go, and take him instead.

He says, “flush me and let my family go.” Clearly stating the he wishes to sacrifice himself for those he cares about. He’s been running this whole episode. Running from the monster, running from the responsibility of Piebald’s “death”, and running from telling the truth to his dad. Now, as the only one left, he knows it’s him who has to save his family, and when given no other choice, he chooses himself as the sacrifice. It’s not even suggested to him that he sacrifice himself, he came up with that on his own. He doesn’t know what will happen to him, he just wants his family to be safe.

Sadly, this moment is short lived as immediately after he says this Piebald cuts the rope to drop the others into the whirlpool, which is where the whole thing is revealed to be a ruse made up by Splinter and Piebald to teach the boys a lesson. But I still think this moment should be talked about more. It’s so interesting to me.

It’s one thing that I think people get wrong a lot. A popular trope I see with Leo is that in any danger whatsoever he will deliberately go out of his way to sacrifice himself first. It’s his first and only plan, and he truly believes it will 100% work out. Watching the show though, this just isn’t true. Leo is a good leader, and he knows what his brothers are capable of. He’s able to use their skills to come up with a clever plan that almost always works when he really puts thought into it. It’s when he’s backed into a corner, stuck between a rock and a hard place that he resorts to his final plan. His last chance to keep everyone he loves safe and more importantly alive. If it comes down to it, he will use himself as the scapegoat willingly, even if the others don’t want it. I love Leo angst so much, and I love it even better when it’s done right. Leo is a smart guy, he knows when he can find an easy way out of things. That’s what makes it even more devastating when he resorts to his martyr complex, because it’s always either a last resort, or a split second decision. I think what people try to do is make it his first instinct, which I can agree with if written to be believable.

Moments that represent these traits come and go quickly, but I think that’s part of why Rise is so well written. The creators trust their viewers, and are aware that things don’t need to be spelled out in order for us to understand them. This show is honest to god just so amazing, and a wonderful example of when artists put out a work that they really care about for others to enjoy.

[fandomclaws]

somewhat an analysis of Alastor

I've been going over this multiple times while it was just some rambles in my notes, but I finally decided it might as well see the light of day. if you do read this all, thank you. if not,,, understandable. it's a lot.

if this whole things is not coherent at all and does some weird jumps, I'm sorry. I took multiple breaks writing this over the span of the whole day. it was even more of a mess, I promise this is the slightly cleaned-up version.

especially the later parts get less cohesive in my eyes since I had to take longer breaks in between them. they also might jump around more. but now, in case you do want to read this; enjoy.

obvious spoilers ahead

let's start with the most interesting aspect for me: we barely know Alastor. sure, we know a little about his backstory, and get snippets of interactions here and there, but it wasn't until well into the show that we got to know his character better. ep.5 was where we see something deeper than the shallow persona he puts on for everyone. he's been more of a helping hand to make the plot progress in an interesting direction than a character with obvious deeper meaning. I don't mean to say that he was not well-written, quite the contrary, I mean to point out that he seemed more like a tool in the story than a character we are supposed to connect with on deeper levels.

we all as viewers had no idea why exactly he was there, to begin with, he said it was for his own entertainment but even then, this seemed like an awful lot of work for him to come out more or less empty-handed most of the time. it's an unfair deal for Alastor if you ask me. and honestly, he does bring little less than "entertainment" to the table until then. being used to show that he is helping yes, but mostly doing it so he can pull someone else down with his help. double-sided blade. he loses, but whoever he helps also doesn't win.

let's talk about ep.5 though. in this episode it's the first time someone truly irritates him. he didn't really care much for Vox - seemingly finding his entire obsession rather funny and never seeing him as a true threat. and Sir Pentious he didn't even truly remember. but with Lucifer that changes. Alastor doesn't just see him as bothersome, he sees him as important enough to go out of his way to prove he is better than the literal king of hell himself. at first, you could argue that he's once again doing it for his entertainment. seeing how much he can push before he needs to get back in line. but looking closer, his body language betrays him.

the way Alastor holds himself shows a true disdain for Lucifer that is, from a viewer's perspective, totally unjustified. Lucifer did not start their weird rival dynamic, it was Alastor who from the beginning on looked down on the king. maybe it's a personal reason, maybe it's just the fact that Alastor is more than well aware that no matter how much power he gets, there's no way to get above Lucifer. his omnipresence might simply be an annoyance to Alastor because he knows as well as Lucifer that the king hasn't shown his face in a long time and his reputation and power over all of the pride ring, over all of hell, still stays in place. no real threat could shake Lucifer's power into crumpling and this thought alone might bother Alastor because he had to fight for his power, to keep his power. (see Vox having presumably more power with the modern media and all that before Alastor disappeared)

and there's also of course the whole bantering going on in Hell's greatest Dad. Are Alastor's words genuine when he speaks to Charlie, or is it just a tactic to get under Lucifer's skin, maybe not seeing his powers crumble but seeing the king's nerves being reduced to nothing by his hands.

I personally don't think he was being entirely truthful. he might not have straight up lied about everything, but I don't think he truly wishes Charlie to be his daughter. Charlie herself is more than a little surprised by how Alastor suddenly treats her, and that alone is proof enough for me that he wasn't being honest in his words. if it were true, wouldn't he have at least a slight fatherly touch towards her all the time? Later on, Angel Dust even somewhat points out that Alastor has never acted like this by asking what his [Alastor's] deal is. It shows me that no matter how badly he tries to make it seem real for Lucifer, it's not real for anyone else simply because they all know how he normally acts around them.

continuing to Mimzy for a short moment; she is proven to not be a reliable narrator at all so I don't want to really take what she tells about Alastor all too seriously. she even concludes her little tale about the radio demon with "That's the story most people know." which does not make it any true. something I thought is very interesting is that the only two people who might have any idea of how truthful Mimzy is in her story are both gone. Niffty, though she also does not seem like the most reliable narrator, is not part of this conversation, and Hus kates himself out of the scene almost in the same moment Mimzy starts talking about. Husk leaving is more important since he obviously knows more about not only Alastor but also the deal Alastor is bound to. Husk and Alastor might equally hate it, but Husk does seem to care about Alastor at least a little. warning the overlord about Mimzy and how she is known for only showing up when she needs something, and I'm sure Alastor is more than aware that Mimzy wouldn't show up simply to catch up with old friends, but still. the sentiment of Husk seeking Alastor out to warn him, and even mentioning how he [Alastor] has been gone for a while now, is in itself caring, especially when moments later the viewers find out how much more Husk seems to know about Alastor. it even seems as if he is aware of limitations, mentioning how it's "Big talk for someone who's also on a leash." coming from Alastor's deal, even if Alastor himself is ignoring them [see the line "Who in their right mind would cross me?"]

the whole fact that Husk even seems to know so much about Alastor's deal is confusing in a way. I can't see Alastor willingly going to Husk and telling him about not only the deal he made with someone above himself but also about the limitations of said deal, it just doesn't make sense for the character we know Alastor to be, and even when finishing the show my opinion doesn't change. it's even more prominent how he later hides away.

after this scene, Alastor isn't seen catching back up to Charlie, Vaggie, and Lucifer to continue annoying him simply by his presence. his outburst having left him apparently on edge - showing that he isn't as calm and calculated as he likes to pretend. he obviously struggles with his own anger, be it at Husk for bringing up that he knows about Alastor's deal, or himself for ever getting into the situation in the first place.

later we see Alastor taking care of Mimzy's problem -the loan sharks. he's not seen using his powers like he did when Sir Pentious attacked though, he willingly transforms into something eldritch to devour the threat instead of simply using the tentacles, which would've been just as easy for Alastor. in my eyes that's him getting rid of the last restlessness about his outburst at Husk. choosing to do it himself, showing he still has free will over what he does and doesn't do. if not proving it to Husk then proving it to himself that he can choose to do this. he goes all out, he even comments on it himself how he needs to let off steam and later on how he's important here and willingly choosing to be here, helping ["It's time to remind everyone [Husk] why I'm here."] Alastor needs Husk to know what happens when you cross him, and when you doubt him. because he took the comments about how long he's been gone and that he's also on a leash personally. I don't even think it's necessarily because Husk said it, it's that someone in hell said it. not a soul in hell is allowed to think that Alastor, the radio demon, is not strong enough to win every fight he chooses to start.

let me come back to Mimzy once more, as if this one scene scratching the surface of what lies underneath his smile-bright persona revealed by Husk wasn't enough we get Alastor being all buddy-buddy with Mimzy, who is not only acting like a friend to him but is also introduced as such. a normal friend to someone who is so obviously not normal.

but even with his more friendly behavior towards her, he ends up sending her away after the hotel has to suffer under the problem she brought along. ["I can't have that here."] If he was genuine with what he said then, why did he phrase it like that? I might be reading too much into it, but Alastor normally picks his words wisely enough to not let too much slip, and the sentence "I don't want this here." would've been better fitting for the situation, but he says can't have that here. new question, what can't he have here? Mimzy herself? someone who knows him better than the residence with maybe a habit of blabbering? or was it just the fact that it's her problems that he needs to fix? that he can't have her bringing more work than there already is at the hotel?

now making a bit of a jump, going from ep.5 to ep.7 this episode makes me mostly wonder about what Alastor could ask from Charlie later on based on the deal the two of them made. in terms of character, it gave us little besides his dynamic with Rosie and the entirety of cannibal city. though this was also not really anything new, more just what we already knew about Alastor in a new dynamic

there is one scene I do want to talk about though. his whole little speech around smiling. him actually standing by and admitting that he is hiding behind his smile did take me a second to actually realize what just happened, I did skip back to it because I was a little stunned by the absurdity of it all. after some thought it made sense that he might not mind it, Charlie does not know him well enough for this off-hand comment to truly affect anything for him, still it made me wonder. why would he reveal it to her? was he simply so sure that she wouldn't use it against him or did he think she wouldn't even think of using anything against him in this kind of way?

so it confirms that yes; Alastor uses his smile as a facade and also as a way to show he is above others who cannot hide behind a smile like he can. his smile means indifference to himself, neutrality. for him showing anything but the indifference that his smile represents is vulnerability. weakness.

let's move on to the actual "highlight" episode of "What We Learn about Alastor" ep.8

this surely was not the first time he got humbled badly by someone in a fight. it's what he wants to avoid most, the mask slipping, everyone seeing that he can be defeated, that he is not this otherworldly powerful being that not a soul in hell [or heaven] can touch. there had to be at least one very significant moment where he was powerless in a way. where he had to strike up a deal with someone higher, the one now binding him, now having him on a leash.

Alastor went into the fight with Adam overly confident, underestimating Adam's powers to the point he barely got away. he is, after all this, still a mortal soul. a sinner. Adam on the other hand was the first man which gives him roughly the same power Lilith must have. that in itself makes me think Alastor lasted a good deal longer in the battle than I would've thought. pure angelic powers far surpassing his own and he still 1) got away in the end and 2) was able to get in a few hits.

let's quickly touch on the fact that when Adam broke his microphone he seemed to be completely stunned, apparently not having thought that he could easily break his possession without any real resistance. I personally don't think his power is necessarily in the microphone [the was the simply gave it away to Charlie in ep.7 being my proof for why it can't be. he would never abandon his power just for Charlie to sing a song for a few cannibals] but what if it maybe is some kind of amplifier for it? maybe it's also pure placebo and Alastor was simply too stunned that Adam would go for the piece of equipment instead of for a deadly blow right away. the microphone surely was a confidence boost, feeling of being 'on air' the feeling of having his broadcast behind him while doing his everyday tasks giving him the boost he sometimes needs, his ego being constantly stroked by the knowledge that there would be countless sinners bowing to him if he simply said the words into his microphone. no longer being able to do that made him stutter in more ways than one, being momentarily careless, not prepared for Adam to strike again, deadly this time. he lost where he was in his performance, in his own show, and it made him mess up.

one interesting sentence is when Adam comments on how Alastor is just a mortal soul. "You should know better than anyone what a soul can accomplish when they take charge of their own fate." which makes me want to believe that's exactly what Alastor did, taking charge of his own fate. but the thing is that we know he did not. he made a deal with someone, and he doesn't have the ability to take charge of anything about his own being anymore. he's as much on a leash as he has Husk on one. that would only mean that he isn't at his full potential, held back by the deal he so desperately wants to get out of, and is actively looking for a way to get out of it. which turns this line into something else completely. Alastor reveals that he knows what he is capable of, but cannot parade his power due to his deal.

another interesting detail is his ears before he dissolves into his shadow. they are pinned back, showing not only agitation or fear but disorientation. he opens his mouth for no sound to come out and it frightens him to have come into this situation at all.

a big part of his mental disintegration in this moment surely is also the fact that if he had died at this moment, if Adams's hit was slightly more fatal, he would've died bound to the deal still. Alastor would have gone without being able to fulfill his own goal - getting rid of the chain around his throat. getting control back over his own afterlife. if he had died at Adam's hands, he would have died being possessed by someone else which we can assume is what Alastor sees as the lowest he can fall. the people bound to him by a deal mean nothing to him as it seems, we only ever got to see those who were needed for the Hotel.

while also, dying in this moment would have proven to everyone that he stayed to protect the hotel, his friends, but retreating and not being killed in a heroic death-wish battle be had proven to especially the audience that Alastor is not ride or die for these people.

in his breakdown ballad, we can finally see where he went to to lick his wounds. his entire breakdown also shows once again how scared he truly is of being inadequate. this wasn't just a reminder from Husk that he is indeed also on a leash, being pulled to where whoever holding it wants him to go, this is a rendezvous with death, barely escaping the situation that would have proven that he is too weak, at least while being bound by this deal he is [no longer] profiting from.

the place not only reeks of death for him, like he says in his song, but it also reeks of shame at the fact that he had nearly not made it out alive. it would've been seen as a noble act had he truly died in this scene, he had not died protecting himself, he had died protecting others. it is worse than dying on a leash even since at least almost no one knows about that, it would allow him to save some face. but dying for these people? he cannot even stand the thought of it.

in his mind he needs to keep up the smiling facade, the indifference in this smile he holds obviously so dear, for eternity. him dying should not allow the indifference he stands for to evaporate, he needs to play the act even after being killed in his afterlife.

even if this now ends rather abruptly, my work here is done. see you next time I start writing and simply don't stop for a while.

it truly is "Good to be back on the Air." with a newly cleaned-up space to talk about fandoms

this might be edited later on, nothing major, maybe just to have some actual continuity in it.

[jeannereames]

I read a previous ask you answered about the Dancing With the Lion books, the anon mentioned that they’d like to see Hephaestion have lovers other than Alexanderos. I was wondering how would that affect his relationship with Alexandros? I know that in ancient Macedonia it was normal to have multiple lovers but I feel a little heartbroken, which I know is silly, that Hephaestion and Alexandros won’t be each others one and only in the books because to me it looked like Hephaestion doesn’t have space in his heart for other people other than Alexandros so I’m wondering how you would go about it and under what circumstances would Hephaestion take other lovers [hoping this makes sense]

One of the things I always try to do in my writing is to portray relationships as authentically as I can. I don’t think that means they can’t be romantic—but in attainable ways. I don’t believe in soul mates, or happily-ever-after. Or rather, I believe soul mates are made, not stumbled over, and happily-ever-after takes hella lotta work. But if you put in that work, it’s unparalleled.

I want the reader to see especially long-term relationships Real. It’s why, I think, some readers are either disappointed or confused by the novels. That they were published by a Romance publisher muddles the matter even more. Romance novels have a pretty specific plot pattern, and Dancing with the Lion: Rise (book 2) plays ALL kinds of havoc with that. There’s a story (a lot of story, in fact) after the boys get together. Elements of insecurity remain, and they aren’t always kind and understanding to each other. It’s not a(n easy) happily-ever-after. They muddle along because they’re human.

That’s because I write love stories, not (R)omances, and love stories don’t follow the plot arc of a Romance. For one thing, they typically extend long after a Romance would end, showing how the couple deals with life, the universe, and everything. In real life, the “crush” phase rarely outlasts about 18 months. So something real had better be there as it mutates. Romances are about falling in love (attraction phase). Love stories are about being in love (attachment phase). Why does this couple make sense past the chemistry of infatuation?

Alexandros and Hephaistion have already begun answering that by the end of Rise.

Partly they’re successful because they have a genuine affection for each other that runs alongside (and for Hephaistion predates) their infatuation. Quite simply, they like each other, as people. And when they make their vow, they commit to working through problems. Hephaistion thinks to himself after that he’s not sure why what they said to each other matters, but it did.

Relationship beginnings are inherently uncertain. Exciting, but uncertain. “Will __ still like me if I do X, or if they find out Y about me?” By taking that vow, each promises they will. Ergo, when Alexandros makes his enormously selfish and stupid decision not to tell Hephaistion something critical (no spoilers), his vow keeps Hephaistion from walking away. Even with the best of intentions, people will do things in relationships that hurt the other person, so a willingness to forgive is one of the most essential tools for making relationships work. The other essential part is being able to offer a genuine apology—which Alexandros does give. This type of forgiveness isn’t to be confused with becoming a doormat in an abusive situation, which is why I note that about offering a real apology (and not making the same error again). But people screw up. Hence the value of a promise that gives a firm foundation in order to trust someone with our Tender Things.

It’s about emotional security…not sexual fidelity. They don’t live in a society the equates sexual fidelity with “true love.” Both boys are actually rather jealous types, but they’re coming to trust the other one means it, when he promises to stick around.

Yes, Hephaistion has a harder time separating sex and love, or at least sex and affection (e.g., he’s a demisexual). But it’s uncertainty about Alexandros’s EMOTIONAL fidelity to him that sets off his jealousy. As time goes on, he’ll grow increasingly confident that he has that. For one thing, Alexandros’s very success increasingly isolates him, but it’s more than that. Hephaistion trusts him and is trusted in turn.

So they ARE each other’s one-and-only, or at least each other’s most important. Emotionally. Connecting that to sexual exclusivity devalues the power of it. There is no Hephaistion but Hephaistion, for Alexandros. Hephaistion certainly doesn’t care about Alexandros’s other women. He might be a bit more concerned about other (freeborn) teens, but only because there’s a potential there (to the Greek and Macedonian mind) of Alexandros developing a real attachment that could rival/displace what he has with Hephaistion. That’s why Alexandros will be quite circumspect, although he’s clear in his own head that nobody can touch Hephaistion. Hephaistion comes to realize this as well. Just as no one can replace Alexandros for him.

If anything, over time, Hephaistion starts to worry because Alexandros is so isolated by his power. What would happen to Alexandros if something happened to him? It's prescient.

[highladyariane]

i found your blog my accident but i also hate cc and didnt read the book, would you mind just do a quick rundown of important stuff that happen with the acotar characters? like those that are important for the next book, sorry if this is annoying feel free to ignore me i just refuse to read that book

I would actually love to do that for you while this is all fresh in my mind! I feel like this is going to help multiple people, and also me when the next ACOTAR book comes out in 2 years.

I'll only cover the parts that are relevant to the ACOTAR world because it's a long book. I don't know if people reading this will have any knowledge of CC, so I'll try to keep it to the ACOTAR knowledge, but I might forget sometimes.

There will be spoilers under the cut!! Also, I don't like Bryce, so buckle up for some salt.

Interrogation:

Shortly after arriving in Prythian, Bryce is taken away by Rhysand to the Court of Nightmares. Azriel and Amren join him for the interrogation.

They all start questioning Bryce about where she's from, why she's here, why she's covered in blood, how did she get the lost sword Gwydion, etc. Bryce is being evasive about most of the answers, and a big part of why is because they're fae and they're asking her a lot of questions. If you haven't read any CC books, Bryce hates the fae, and it's deeply annoying to me.

Bryce tries to bullshit them at some points, but Azriel can tell when she's lying.

Amren tells Rhys to look into her mind, but when Rhys ask Bryce if he can look into her mind, she says no, so he doesn't. So basically, Bryce has plot armor from Rhys, which is also deeply annoying to me.

They all realize that Queen Theia and Pelias, familiar historical figures in Bryce's world, were originally from Prythian. Queen Theia used to be High Queen. I don't think this is important to Prythian in general, but Theia is Bryce's ancestor.

When Amren came out of her imprisonment, she also remembers rumors about a large number of people vanishing, some said to another world.

Rhysand says that they won't torture her for information and they also won't pry it from her mind. Bryce can choose not to talk, but Rhys can also choose to keep her here until she decides otherwise.

Bryce tells them about the Asteri, immortal beings from her world who take a tax on magic for their own nourishment and power. Amren makes the connection to the Daglan, who used to rule over the fae in Prythian centuries ago until they were defeated. Bryce tells the crew that the Asteri want to come back to Prythian for revenge.

During this interrogation, Bryce lies to the group about not being able to winnow, and Azriel says nothing about her lie this time.

Rhysand goes to get the Veritas Orb so that Bryce can show them the weapons the Asteri use, which she does (it's guns and technology).

They give Bryce a little silver bean to eat that makes her able to talk their mother tongue and allows her to speak it too.

The spell on the translator bean triggers a reaction from Bryce's back tattoo, and it starts glowing. Amren realizes that the writing on her tattoo is the same as the writing in the Book of Breathings. Azriel says, "Explain, or you die."

Amren tells Rhysand to bring Nesta in the interrogation room. When Nesta arrives, she says that Bryce carries something that is Made other than the sword, which we know to be the tattoo (the tattoo is actually a magical Horn).

The tension starts getting worse, and eventually Rhysand calls it a day, saying that Bryce needs rest. They leave her alone, but they don't give her back Gwydion and they take away her phone.

The "escape":

Some of this information we don't find out about until later, but I try to include it in chronological order to make it easier.

The ACOTAR crew makes a plan to get information from Bryce by isolating her with Nesta and (a hidden) Azriel. Rhys takes a guess that she'll try to escape, and they can use that.

We don't know how much time passes while Bryce is locked up, but she says it's a few hours. She eventually winnows out of her cell.

It's very important to note that there are a lot of monsters under the mountain of the Court of Nightmares.

Bryce has a star on her chest, and it glows. The beasts seem to stay away from it. Bryce figures out that the light of her star is leading her somewhere.

Bryce walks for what she assumes are hours, and eventually falls asleep. When she wakes up, Nesta is there to offer her water. Nesta says that they knew the moment she escaped, and she's here to escort Bryce back to her cell (this is a lie).

At first, Bryce tries to escape. Before she can, Azriel (still hidden) stops her and triggers the cave to collapse so that Nesta, Bryce and him are cut off from the cells, forcing them to go the other way.

Bryce mentions that her star is pointing a certain way, and Nesta tells her to lead on.

Travelling :

They travel for hours (days? they sleep at some point) and adventures happen, some of which I won't mention.

A Middengard Wyrm shows up (yes, like the one that Feyre fought when she was still human).

Bryce saves Nesta's life from a trap.

Azriel eventually reveals himself. He not only brought Truth-Teller, but also Gwydion with him. I feel like this only happens for Bryce to get the weapons, because why would Az bring them both with him when it makes him uncomfortable to carry both at the same time?? Seriously, they make a point to tell us multiple times how uncomfortable it is for Az.

At some point, Bryce wounds her hands and knees on purpose. She lets her knees heal, but not her hands. She’s using her blood to draw the Middengard Wyrm to them so that she can escape Nesta and Az. When Az starts asking questions about her hands not healing, she plays the awful dad card: “The man who fathered me used to burn my brother to punish him. The scars never healed for him, either.” As you can imagine, this resonates with Az, who lets it go.

Nesta asks Bryce about her star because it’s shaped like an eight-pointed star. Nesta is asking about it because it’s the same shape as the bargain tattoo she used to have on her back.

The Middengard Wyrm finally takes the bait, and Bryce ditches Nesta and Az while it starts to attack. As Bryce is running away, the Wyrm gets scared of Nesta’s power and backs down. Nesta plays dead, taking a guess that Bryce will come back. When Bryce stops hearing the sounds of fighting, she feels bad about leaving them behind and comes back to save then. When she gets there, Nesta and Az tell Bryce that they want her to play bait so that they can kill the Wyrm.

During the Wyrm fight, the Wyrm somehow eats Nesta’s power. To kill it, Nesta puts on the Mask and uses Ataraxia. Az has to talk her down by mentioning the people she cares about: Cassian, Gwyn, Emerie, Feyre, Elain and Nyx. Nesta then takes off the Mask.

Nesta and Az finally reveal that this was all part of the plan, that they waited for Bryce to escape so that they could follow her. Nesta also reveals that she has seen Bryce’s tattoo before, and not only because of her former tattoo: Nesta saw it in the Prison when she went to get the Harp.

Everyone is angry with everyone.

At some point, Nesta promises to give Bryce her phone back if she helps with the traversal of the tunnels. When Bryce does get her phone back, they all have a conversation about what it is and what it does, including that it can hold 1000+ songs and take pictures.

Nesta, Az and Bryce bonus chapter:

Bonding time!

Nesta tells Bryce about her horrible mother and how she would probably hate who Nesta has become.

While they're discussing mothers, Bryce asks Az about his. Nesta jokes that, "Az never talks about this mother, and neither will our friends, so I'm guessing she's even worse," to which Az responds, "My mother is anything but awful." Nesta starts to apologize, but Az says he doesn't want to talk about it.

Nesta asks Bryce to play music on her phone, and Bryce chooses Stone Mother (folk music).

Bryce plays them at least one song from each genre of music. Nesta has to cover her ears during the death metal song, but Az seems to like it. Nesta likes the classical stuff the most out of everything. Both of them are intrigued by club music.

After a while, Bryce tries to ask about their magic, but Az shuts her down. She asks about mates, because she knows that Nesta has one, but Az says he doesn't have a mate or a partner.

Bryce asks Nesta about becoming fae, including her now immortal lifespan. Nesta says she's still getting used to it, and then asks Az how he deals with it. Az says, "Find people you love - they make the time pass quickly. Especially if they'll forgive your occasional snapping at them over things that aren't their fault." Nesta then says, "Nothing to forgive, Az."

Az adds, "And I've been told having children makes the time fly, too." Nesta rolls her eyes, but Bryce sees a gleam in them. Nesta then says that she wouldn't know how to raise a child since she was raised by a terrible mother. Az says that just because her mother was terrible, doesn't mean Nesta will be a terrible mother.

Nesta admits that her mother was even worse to Feyre, and yet Feyre has turned out to be a perfect mother.

They listen to music until the phone battery runs out.

After the phone dies, Bryce can hear Az humming the Stone Mother song to himself, and she "could have sworn even the shadows danced at the sound."

The Prison:

The gang gets to the Prison and the doors close behind them. Az wants to go get Rhys, but Nesta points out that it would take a long time and they’re not sure if he would be close enough to hear them.

They get to the room with the eight-pointed star, the place where the Harp was. They can’t enter because of the wards, but Bryce can because she has a special amulet. She tricks Az and enters by herself. Nesta decides to watch what happens and not go in immediately. A little later, they all enter in the room through magic, so it doesn't really last long.

Nesta tells Bryce about the Harp being able to move between physical places and that it can stop time. Bryce asks if there was ever a Made object called the Horn, but they haven’t heard of one.

Bryce steps onto the star, triggering a kind of hologram of Silene, Queen Theia's daughter. She starts telling them her story.

Silene’s story (lore time):

The important players are: Queen Theia, her two daughters, Helena and Silene, her general Pileas and the Asteri (the Daglan).

When Az sees Silene, he says that she looks like Rhysand’s sister.

For five thousand years, The Daglan ruled over the High Fae of Prythian, and in turn the High Fae ruled over the humans. The Daglan taxed their magic to sustain their own power.

The Cauldron was an artifact from Prythian that existed before the Asteri arrived here, but they modified it so that it wouldn’t be just able to create, it would also be able to destroy. Then, the Daglan made the Dead Trove with the Cauldron: The Mask, the Harp, the Crown and the Horn.

Theia stole the Trove, which helped her take back the Cauldron from the Asteri. While they had the Cauldron, Theia's husband made Gwydion and Truth-Teller.

They defeated the Daglan.

Queen Theia became High Queen of Prythian along with her husband, the High King. She ruled over the territory where the Prison currently is, which used to be the Dusk Court.

However, Theia was hungry for power. When her husband was dying of old age, he wanted to pass the crown to their daughter Helena. Because Theia didn't want to give up her crown, she and her general Pelias arranged her husband's murder by a monstrous beast.

After his death, Theia took Truth-Teller and Gwydion. And then, she took the Trove.

Without recounting the whole story, I can’t stress enough how bad Theia, Pelias, Silene and Helena were. They all started ruling over the people, and the people had no choice but to bow to them. Theia and Pelias then decided that this wasn’t enough and that they needed to conquer other words.

Their council refused because they didn’t want to become conquerors. However, Theia and Pelias made plans in secret and, with the Horn and Harp, opened a door to Bryce’s world. There, they met an Asteri (at the time, Theia didn’t know that Asteri = Daglan).

When Theia, Silene, Helena and Pelias realized that this world already had humans, they conquered them too. The humans couldn’t fight back, obviously.

Pelias was a traitor and sold out Theia and the Trove to the Asteri.

Theia sent her daughters to spy on the Asteri, and they discovered that the Asteri were actually the Daglan.

With the help of Hel (another world), the fae and the humans, they began a war against the Asteri, while the Asteri put Pelias in charge of their army.

Their resistance was losing the fight.

Theia decided to open a portal to Prythian, but not to get help. She opened it to save Silene and Helena. Theia split her power in three and put a third in Helena, a third in Silene and a third in Gwydion.

Theia didn't survive her next fight, and Helena stayed behind in Bryce's world to allow Silene to escape with the Trove and Truth-Teller.

Silene did escape, and she didn't keep the portal open for all the innocent people near the portal. She heard them begging, and still did nothing.

Silene eventually married the High Lord of the Night Court and erased all evidence of the horrible things that she, her mother and her sister did. To conceal the Dusk Court mountain and everything in it, Silene brought horrible beasts to it and locked them in cells. It became the Prison.

Winged horses, originally from the Dusk Court, nearly went extinct.

We find out that Silene's High Lord wanted her to become High Lady, “as the other lords’ mates were,” which seems to imply that every court used to be ruled by both.

She keyed the wards of the Prison to her bloodline and passed on this knowledge to her sons, who passed it on to their sons, and to their sons, etc. This knowledge was lost at some point.

Fun fact: the starlight thing that Rhysand has? It’s from the Dusk Court, it’s part of Silene’s power. It’s the “light of the evening star, the dusk star.”

The Aftermath:

Az wants to go get Rhys immediately.

Nesta figures out that Bryce is the Horn and that this is the reason that she can travel between worlds. They really spell out how dangerous it could be for Prythian if Bryce kept opening portals, especially with the Asteri wanting to come back.

Az tries to go get reinforcements against Bryce, but she stops him. Bryce also realizes that Silene left the power Theia gave her in the Prison, and that she can take it because she’s from the same bloodline (on Helena’s side).

Nesta says that Bryce has to let them bring their High Lord (Rhys). Bryce says, “To do what? Lock me up? Cut the Horn out of my skin?” and Nesta answers, “If that’s what’s necessary. If that’s what it takes to keep our world safe.”

They fight and, at some point, fall down in a void. Bryce finds a crystal coffin with a woman inside, sleeping. The fight is about to resume, but they wake up the woman in the coffin.

The woman in the coffin is an Asteri named Vesperus, and she’s “muahahaha” level of evil. Slaves, power, conquering, all of it. So of course, Bryce frees her because Vesperus says she’ll answer her questions. Because that’s such a good fucking idea.

When she frees Vesperus, Bryce takes back Gwydion from Az by summoning it to her. Nesta and Az want to attack Vesperus, but Bryce tells them not to… so they don’t. Once again, the plot armor is strong.

Vesperus does say that that the Asteri pooled their power and “imbued those gifts into the Cauldron” so that it would work their will. Then, they bound the very essence of the Cauldron to the soul of this world. This means that destroying the Cauldron would destroy this world, one cannot exist without the other.

It turns out that freeing the “muahahaha” level of evil Asteri isn’t a good idea because she still wants to conquer worlds and feed on the magic of her slaves. Who knew, really.

Vesperus starts to fight them, and Nesta, Bryce and Az have no choice but to fight back.

We find out that Truth-Teller has other powers that Az doesn’t know how to use.

We find out that the Asteri hid pockets of their power throughout the lands in case or emergency, one of which is here in the Prison.

Vesperus even goes, “You should have killed me when you had the chance.” No shit, lady.

During the fight, Bryce summons Truth-Teller to her. With Gwydion, Truth-Teller and her power, Bryce significantly weakens Vesperus, but doesn’t kill her.

At this point, Az tries to immediately kill Vesperus (thank you, finally), but it doesn’t work. So Nesta pours her power into Ataraxia and kills her.

Bryce is very angry that they killed the no-good, evil Asteri, because for some reason, she was under the impression that Vesperus was going to give her all the answers she needed to fix the problems back in her world.

Nesta and Az seem very unimpressed by this. Bryce goes, “Trust me, I know better than you guys what the Asteri can do,” to which Nesta responds, “Then you have even less of an excuse for your actions.”

Az wants to get out of here and bring Bryce back with them. Bryce starts using the Horn to get out of Prythian with Gwydion and Truth-Teller. Az pleads with her not to leave, and he’s particularly fixated on Truth-Teller.

Nesta says, “You’re as much of a monster as they are.”

Bryce says, “Love will do that to you,” and goes back to her own world.

Fuck you too, Bryce :)

The Collateral:

A lot later in the book, after a lot of shenanigans, Bryce returns to Prythian (House of Wind) with her parents and her mate. She has a plan that she’s going to ask Nesta for the Mask and leave her parents here as collateral. It also means her parents will be safe from the Asteri, which is really good.

Her parents are unaware of this, by the way.

At first, Nesta does not want to give Bryce the Mask and also asks Bryce to leave Truth-Teller before leaving. Rhys is already on his way, and Nesta tells her to leave before he arrives.

Bryce pleads with Nesta and says she will return both the Mask and Truth-Teller after she’s done with them. Bryce does more pleading, offers her parents as collateral, and even asks Nesta to take her parents even if she won’t give her the Mask.

Nesta takes a leap of faith and gives her the Mask.

Just as Rhysand gets there, Bryce leaves with her mate

Her parents stay in Prythian.

Ember and Randall bonus chapter:

Note: Ember is Bryce’s mom, and Randall is Bryce’s dad.

So, Rhysand gets to the House of Wind and he’s very angry.

They give Ember and Randall a translator bean.

Nesta, Rhys, Amren and Cassian go into another room to argue, while Azriel stays with Bryce’s parents.

Rhys says that Nesta had no right to make this choice, especially because it puts their entire world in danger. Nesta says that she had every right because the Trove answers to her, and also because Bryce’s pleading resonated with her. Nesta wanted to give her the edge she needs in the fight against the Asteri. After what Bryce did, Rhys is of the opinion that Nesta should have killed her on sight.

Ember and Randall are brought into the room. They tell them about their version of events, meaning that they didn’t know what Bryce was planning.

Ember says that they won’t cause any problem while they’re here. Rhysand says that he’s not concerned about them causing problems, he’s concerned about Bryce. She already proved the lengths she’s willing to go to for the people she loves, and he wonders if she would betray Prythian to save the people she loves.

They end the meeting, and Amren tells Nesta to pray Feyre changes Rhysand’s mind before they meet the next day.

Ember and Nesta bond that night.

In the morning, Rhysand, Cassian and Nesta come to the House of Wind. Nesta’s head is bowed, and both Rhysand and Cassian look angry.

Ember stands up to Rhysand to defend Nesta. It breaks the tension, and everyone calms down a bit.

Randall and Rhys bond.

We find out that Feyre did intervene on Nesta’s behalf.

We also find out that, according to Nesta, Cassian is actually the one who is the most furious with her out of everyone.

Nesta and Ember bond again.

The Return:

After Bryce is done with the Asteri problem, she comes back to the House of Wind. Cassian, Nesta, Ember and Randall are all there.

We learn that Randall and Rhys bonded over being overprotective fathers.

Bryce gives Nesta the Mask and Truth-Teller.

We also hear that Rhysand and Azriel have not being happy with Nesta’s decision about the Mask, but Nesta stands by her choice.

Ember says goodbye to Nesta, who started seeing Ember as a mother figure.

Before leaving, Bryce gives Gwydion to Nesta, saying that she thinks it should go to her. Bryce doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that Nesta had an eight-pointed star as a tattoo on her back.

The end!

[lia-land]

A Court of Silver Flames

3/5 stars

Spoilers for A Court of Silver Flames*

How this book made it past an editor is beyond me.

I read a review where someone said that this book felt like reading smut about a cousin and I couldn’t agree more. I can’t connect with Nesta. She will always just be Feyre’s sister to me and not a main character as she was supposed to be in this book. I feel like we were set up to dislike her in the earlier books and that dislike was set in stone for me.

This was kind of like a long fan fiction and had the same vibe as A Court of Frost anf Starlight because there wasn’t a strong plot and it read like A Court of Nesta and Friends. What little plot exists was mainly there to set up for the sex scenes and Nesta’s redemption arc. When a book is over 600 pages, I expect a strong plot, not for things to conveniently happen solely for the purpose of Nesta and Cassian having sex and for her and Rhys to salvage their relationship. The pregnancy plot came across as nothing more than an excuse for Nesta to come in and save the day so that she can redeem herself. I also think we should have seen the pregnancy through Feyre and Rhys, rather than having it happen in a book where they are side characters. Especially since it involved the death pact backfiring. I have many issues with the death pact regardless and it was a plot point that was set up for failure, especially since it was thrown into the end of ACOWAR. In fairness, we did get a bonus chapter of them finding out she’s pregnant, but after three books of their relationship developing, this seemed like a big thing to leave out. Perhaps we’ll get a novella of it one day. Although, it doesn’t seem like Feyre was getting up to much in this book while she was pregnant, so maybe it would have been somewhat uneventful to read about her pregnancy from her POV. Then again, this book is over 600 pages of nothing particularly eventful, so it wouldn’t be out of the question.

As many other reviews have said, it makes little sense that Cassian’s guts were falling out in ACOWAR and he lived, but C-sections do not exist. As I said before, a lot of things were just too convenient for the ‘plot’ so that Rhys and Nesta could have an excuse to mend the relationship. And the whole thing at the end where Nesta quickly throws in that she changed her hips as well so that she can bear a winged baby?? That’s not the sort of execution I’d expect from an author who has published multiple series and has been writing for years. 

The stairs specifically don’t make sense because if Nesta is so tired from going down them, how does she make it back up the stairs every time? Surely going up is more effort than going down. This is a huge plot hole and I don’t understand how not one person picked up on it before the book was published. It’s stated that she is completely drained and doesn’t stop until the can’t take another step down, so it’s not like she’s strategically conserving enough energy to go back up. There’s one occasion where she goes down more than halfway, and then gets too tired so she goes back. Like… would it not have been easier to go down when you’re already halfway there… This bothered me the most out of everything else. The House of Wind in general is a plot hole because as far as I can recall, it’s never stated that there is another way to get in other than flying. So my question is why and how would they use it for their ‘official’ meetings and parties? Do Rhys and co go back and forth to fly all these people in? Especially during those weekly meetings Rhys and Feyre do with the citizens that was mentioned in ACOFAS, because I doubt everyone would be willing or able to go up those 10,000 steps while dressed for a party or meeting.

Also, how did Rhys and Feyre build the River House so quick? Hasn't it only been like 8 months or so since Rhys gifted her the land in ACOFAS? Has the rest of Velaris been rebuilt with this same speed since the Hybern attack? Are there still Velaris citizens living on the outskirts with their houses lying in rubble while their High Lord and High Lady built their fourth house (on the biggest plot in the city, I should add)? Let’s not forget Rhys only purchased the land because the house previously on it was ruined in the attack and the owner didn't want to rebuild. The timing is just in poor taste.

Then there’s the Valkyrie. How do Gywn and Emerie win the Rite after being dragged into it unprepared with a few months of training when we’ve been told multiple times that it is nearly impossible? Even for Illyrians who have trained their whole lives. I could maybe justify it by how it was implied that the Valkyrie had specific training methods and skills, but were those skills really that much more advanced than those of the Illyrian males? So much so that Gywn and Emerie won with only a few months of training? If so, this should have been made more clear, but I’d still find it unrealistic that said skills are so advanced that one could win the Rite with only a few months of training. If Nesta alone had won, I could maybe justify it and think about how her powers made her an exception.

It also didn’t fully sit right with me that Feyre essentially locked Nesta up in the House of Wind after what Tamlin did to her. I know it’s not the exact same situation, but it felt close enough. Even if it was truly and completely the last resort, which it seemed like it was, Feyre didn’t seem very bothered by the decision. I say this specifically because of the scene after the first meeting with Nesta, when Rhys has sent all the servants away so him and Feyre can have sex. Read the room. I get that they were both extra horny from the pregnancy, but I don’t think that scene was necessary. It felt more like SJM just being like 'don't worry! Your favorite couple from the original trilogy are still having lots of sex!' Although, I forget this is the same couple that got it on to ‘the distant cries of the injured and dying' in ACOWAR, so what do I know? At least their characters are consistent in that sense. Is there a situation they won’t fuck in? Now I’m curious about what the limit is for them to say ‘no, it’s inappropriate for us to fuck right now.’

The original trilogy made me want to read slower because I did not want the pages to end and I could read about that story forever. With this book, I ended up listening to the audiobook for 2/3 because I wanted to get it over with because I’d like to know what happens to the characters. I really only got through it because I wanted to read about Feyre and Rhys, but even they were out of character and not enjoyable. Feyre often seemed like she’d aged 30 years in the way she spoke and acted. Being High Lady and the things she went through would undoubtedly have made her more mature, but it’s only been like a year. It would have made far more sense if this book was set 50 or 100 years after the events of the last book. This didn’t feel at all like the badass and sometimes reckless Feyre who escaped the weaver, had water wolves, killed the Attor, and turned the Spring Court on each other—all of which happened approximately under two years before this book.

I would happily pretend that this book does not exist if SJM one day asked for it to be ignored so that certain plot lines could be rewritten. I didn’t like the direction of any character in this and it has not left me excited for the upcoming books in this series. In this case, I think the characters would have benefitted from having their story end in ACOWAR.

I did enjoy the dance scene between Eris and Nesta and I’m excited to read more about Eris and his side of the story. I don’t care much for Mor, though I wish Lucien made more appearances in this book.

Azriel Bonus chapter: Angry Rhys and the whole “My office. Now” is hot, but he was far too harsh with Azriel. He literally told him to go to a brothel if he’s that desperate for sex. I can see where Rhys was coming from, but he straight up threatened Azriel. Not sure how I feel about that, but maybe some justification from Rhy’s POV will help in the future. It's okay for Rhys to almost cause a war over Feyre, but Cauldron forbid Azriel even entertains the idea.

I find the Evil Rhys theory entertaining and this book made me happy in that regard, but nothing else.

The only thing this book somewhat attempted to do well is set up for another book in a different SJM series, which I will not delve into due to spoilers, but iykyk.

2.5 stars, really, but 3 because Azriel called Cassian out for the dining room. In saying all of this, I will absolutely be reading any upcoming books in this series because I love the characters and I’m invested in their stories, but this book was frustrating and slow.

[sejjiplinth]

hi everyone! i watched tbosas a few days ago and i’m finally ready to share my thoughts, SPOILERS below of course.

so i’ll speak on the things i liked first.

— the tributes. i was the most moved by their stories, their deaths, and their actors/actresses’s performances more than anything else. i was in tears when reaper ripped the flag down! and lucy gray hurt my heart. i also appreciated the dynamics between them, that’s something i wish the book had touched on more and i’m so thankful the movie delivered!

— the score and the music. they fit so well and near perfect as to how i imagined them sounding in the book, so so good! and the score was amazing. it was so haunting at times, sejanus’s song was beautiful omfg.

— part two: the prize. i think this was by far the most accurately paced part of the entire film. part one felt too fast for me, and part three felt long. i really loved it.

okay… here’s the bits i didn’t really love.

— sejanus’s writing. i felt like his character was watered down completely, from his dialogue to his relationships. movie sejanus contradicts book sejanus multiple times and i was honestly so shocked 😭 they left out so many key quotes and actions from him that would’ve benefited him greatly. for example, having coriolanus suggest feeding the tributes? insane. he does that on his own in the book. also, his thoughts of suicide are completely skipped over, they made him take morphling for his knee injury instead. and as for his relationships, his past with marcus wasn’t explained at all besides the fact that they were classmates. what about what he did for him when they were kids? like omg. the fact that they made sejanus seem frustrated with him too? i was nawt happy. and coriolanus, it seemed pretty book accurate to me. i have my nitpicks but i’m not sure what else they could’ve done. AND MA!!!! one scene and that was all :(

— the pacing. like i said earlier, i felt like part one FLEWW by compared to the other two. a lot of plot points were missed there.

— clemensia’s storyline. i was definitely surprised by this one, why did they not show her after the snake bites? that would’ve been so interesting to see, and in my eyes, would’ve clicked with non-book readers about peeta’s hijacking. the meanness and appearance she had afterwards in the book? so so chilling. i was expecting it to be altered because it was described to be quite graphic, but not THAT altered.

— no mention of the games being erased. i didn’t realize this until after the movie but wow, what a huge part of the book AND in the hunger games universe that was completely forgotten about.

well, that’s all! of course i have parts i wished would have made it or scenes i felt were unnecessarily added, but i know not everything can make it. overall, i enjoyed it, the flaws are there but i would still say it was a good adaptation. anyway, these are my own opinions. i definitely recommend seeing it for yourself!

[nonsenuser]

black mirror - season 7

this is probably one of THE shows that established my "taste" in media and whatever long-term, since i started watching the show in high school. i never thought i would see a good season again after season 4, but to my surprise this was a good season! this is also the first season in a while where all the episodes are good, and none of them are like totally shit (black mirrors greatest flaw is the variance in quality)

i am very tired and i need to sleep soon tbh but i wanted to get all my thoughts out on all the episodes since i binged it today

spoilers ahead...

common people - watched this one while doing RNA extraction in the lab so i couldn't hear everything (esp soundtrack) but i thought this was a solid start to the season. it's extremely on the nose and you could see plot points unfolding from miles away (like the livestream stuff was soooo obvious omg) but honestly it was hilarious to me. i see people saying it was super bleak online but it did not come off to me that way? like the tone wasn't all the way there, all of the bleak scenes have a lick of humor in it and thats why it works. maybe it was cuz i watched this episode with the centrifuge running in the background so i wasnt 100% immersed. now, if the ending did not result them in taking their own life, i think that wouldve been even more bleak. i mean the idea of rivermind using ur brain to update their servers for the rest of your life is more bleak imo...

ps. i super duper appreciated the drone bee easter egg!! bc i loved hated in the nation (sequel to that in season 8 please????)

bête noire - ah this one was very silly and fun, and im glad they leaned into it. sometimes black mirror will takes itself too seriously and it doesn't work at all. this also fortunately, was not mazey day levels of ridiculous.. i thought this was going to be a very shit anti-bullying psa but verity doesn't win in the end. and the ending is hilarious. its still my least favourite episode of the series but one day.. black mirror will get the silly stupid episodes right too

hotel reverie - this episode was incredibly sweet! the only thing that held me back from enjoying it to its fullest was how much screentime awkwafina got. like i dont even think she cant act or anything but theres like 1 million jokes abt her on twitter i cant. also i wished they delved into dorothys life more... that montage wasn't enough for me. i also cried... what a bittersweet ending

plaything - now THIS episode is like. quintessential black mirror. i don't think i could have predicted what would happen next at any part of the episode. the story taking place in the same universe as bandersnatched was also great, i really liked that black mirror episode so this was a great like, tag along to that story. the ending and its scale, also reminded me a lot of hated in the nation. the whole concept of the thronglets, them being living things that can evolve, their autonomy relative to ours, cameron coming to the conclusion that it would be best to kind of 'let them take the reigns' with the rest of humanity, i could write about this for ages but its such a horrifying and interesting group of themes to think about. i really loved this episode. also peter capaldi (and the actor who plays young him) were GREAT wow.

eulogy - now the last episode is quintessential black mirror, but some of black mirrors BEST is when it pulls at your heartstrings, and this one does it so well. i would probably recommend this to anyone who doesn't watch black mirror as a standalone. its exceptionally done. i am SO HAPPY they acknowledge the phillip was not a good person in the relationship at multiple points, and had things gone differently it could've worked out. they also do this in a way that doesn't take away from the overall warmth and sweetness of the episode. the concept itself also feels sooo relatable to me. i almost wish i could look at old photos of myself and literally transport myself there to that moment. this is easily the best episode of the season!

uss callister - into infinity - btw, this did not even need a sequel, the og uss callister was amazing as is but i am sooo glad they made this! severance before severance (sorta) all the characters are memorable and fun and the overall goal of this one was just as high stakes as the original. the best, best part of this was how they showed daleys very sinister ugly side at the core of infinity. although he was very nice you could see him become agitated whenever nannette wasnt into his interests, and then he really showed his colours when he insisted a copy of her stay there with him in isolation. one could argue this is a result of just being away from everyone but i think its moreso an indication of who daley really is, no matter what variation it is. but also, im not sure if thats the message, would love to hear what other ppl think of the daley character work in this sequel ep. overall, its such a fun episode, i loved it

these are the episodes ranked (just my opinion):

eulogy

plaything

uss callister - into infinity

hotel reverie

common people

bête noire

[twixitativi]

do you have any tips on writing an au? normal fics i can usually handle but i’m working on a kunichuu grease au and i’m finding it quite difficult.

hiya! thanks for asking :3 also good luck with that, that seems like so much fun omg; feel free to send when you start releasing, i'd love to check it out!

ill be using splinters as my example here purely because thats closer to what you're trying to do (movie/musical as reference)

this is going to be long as fuck because i tend to ramble and go into detail, so im adding a read-more. i sincerely hope this helps because i know its a LOT (potential spoilers for splinters included)

1. The Foundation

when i first started working on splinters, it started with a lot of idea bouncing. who would suit what role? why would that role work for them? originally, i had looked at dazai as jd and chuuya as veronica, or dazai as veronica with fyodor as his jd.

then, i also started thinking about story 'beats'. to be clear about what that means, i like to think of different parts/scenes that i need/want to hit, and kind of the order if possible. this usually intertwines with the original story-- in your case, grease.

all this starts falling into the next step:

2. Research

it may not be entirely apparent, but i did (and still do) a FUCK TON of research for splinters. by choosing to have multiple source materials to base your work off (both bsd AND grease), depending on how close/accurate you want to be, you're going to want to get in touch with the material.

you've mentioned grease-- i'm assuming you're doing this based off the movie (love the movie. need to rewatch). what i personally do with heathers the movie is that i watched it the entire way through first to refresh myself with the material. it might help you to take notes about different characters, ideas, plot lines. i found a copy of both scripts online in case i wanted to see about throwing an iconic line in during an important scene without diving through the whole movie to find it.

i dont know HOW historically accurate you want to go with your fic--you may be choosing to explore the concept of grease rather than the actual setting itself-- but grease takes place in the late 50s, TECHNICALLY early 60s (movie itself came out in the late 70s) (my mom LOVED it when it came out). so, you may want to do some basic research: fashions/trends of the time (this has gotten harder to search online, you may want to even run to the library and find some books if possible)? societal norms? what did normal teens do during that time? did they have arcades, did they go to restaurants, what was the average place they hung out at?

a lot of times, i have to double-check if some of the stuff in splinters is period accurate. each decade has different lingo, slang, and general information that was normal during it. hell, looking back at the 2010s versus 2020s, if you were to write a story during, saying, 2011, and have your characters saying "slay" and "yas queen" and "road work ahead, uh yeah i sure hope it does", i regret to inform you that that will NOT be accurate, as those phrases are more late 2010s + that vine came out in 2016. now, could you quote/potentially reference these things? absolutely! but you have to be more strategic about it.

ALSO. look up fun trivia about your source material! you know where i got my title from? its the english translation of the italian name for heathers. im not even kidding. also, mix and match material! hell, even throw references in to other material! i had my mean girls reference in there! because its bsd, i like to throw in authors i like from time to time where they fit!

another silly one: what music came out around that time, playing on the radio? HOW did they listen to music? i specifically listen to a 1989 top hits playlist when im trying to figure out what songs might be playing on the radio while my characters are driving-- and even THEN i still will look up specifically when that song came out, because i made the choice to be horribly specific with my timeline.

on that note:

3. If you can, DON'T SET A SPECIFIC MONTH/DAY/ETC.

i made my choices. do i regret them? YES. is it still fun to work with? absolutely, but also the heathers timeline is lowkey a mess and you could simultaneously claim it takes place in 2 months or several.

honestly, avoid specifics. having to keep track of a timeline is an absolute bitch, and it's going to make your life a lot harder, because then, you HAVE to make sure it all matches up. if i say that kunikida went and got his glasses in march, i cant say that his glasses are brand new in may (this is a hypothetical example).

timelines suck. unless you think you can dedicate the time and energy to keeping with one, don't do it.

4. OUTLINES.

i've been writing fanfics for years, which is wild to me. i was writing fanfics in single digits (didn't even know what fanfics were). one thing that i have especially found useful with splinters is to make outlines for where you want the story to go.

let me break it down for you:

you're gonna have MULTIPLE outlines, and they are NOT set in stone. they are guidelines for you to use so that you're not sitting there going "shit i don't know what to do next". they may be scenes you want to have in the fic. they may be important plot points. they may be absolutely stupid shit that youre like "if i dont get this in here i will cry" (diarrheazai is a threat that i intend to keep)

FIRSTLY. try making a general outline for your whole fic. you don't need super specifics, but think of what events occur during grease. in it, danny and sandy meet in the summer before their senior year. sandy meets and joins the pink ladies. there's a dance competition. danny and sandy fly off in a car into the sunset. etc. TO BE CLEAR, you don't have to keep all the details! it is your story, and what you want to do with it! having that structure can be helpful when you start though.

THEN. once you have that general outline? start trying to plan out chapters. you dont have to make outlines for them all at once. more often than not, i'll sit there before i start a new chapter just trying to outline what'll happen in it. this helps a LOT on multiple levels. i'll provide an example of what that can look like below (SPOILERS IF YOU'RE NOT UP-TO-DATE WITH SPLINTERS):

(the blacked out bit is spoilers, everything else should be clear to see)

a quick explanation: i dedicate a small document to outlines for each chapter. as you can see, with chapter beats, i have diff things i want to try to hit. the stuff highlighted in green is stuff that i come back post-chapter to confirm i hit. sometimes, if it's not EXACTLY in there, i'll leave a note in bold (ex: WAS MENTIONED).

but you can kind of see what im talking about here. i have some things that im trying to knock out per chapter.

other things in my doc to outline:

yes i talk to myself in my notes.

i highlight different scenes according to their relevance to certain characters sometimes; i add scenes in where i need to, and then ofc as you see ill go into detail about specific scenes. and AGAIN these are not set in stone. for example:

as you can see, shit changes over time. that boiler room make-out scene during the homecoming pep rally appeared in ch 11. i did not make this sequence fyodor's pov.

sometimes? i just dont have the time or energy to write shit/dont think its relevant to the plot. good bye, corn maze. you'll be remembered in my thoughts and my outline

also try to have fun while outlining. it doesnt need to be something serious. literally my outlines are a mix of dialogue, scenes, my own thoughts, etc. get silly with it. this is supposed to be fun and enjoyable!

ANOTHER THING:

5. LOOP SOMEONE INTO OBSESSING OVER THIS WITH YOU.

i was inspired by ardeidae to write splinters, and i have successfully trapped them in splinters world for almost an entire year now. by both of us loving it, we can keep ourselves focused on it.

what also helps is bouncing ideas off other people. me and lu have had conversation after conversation after conversation about different plot lines, scenes, etc. sometimes, i don't know what to do and i will ask lu (or other people) for advice about the progression.

you may have also heard of the engineering rubber duck method. if you're unfamiliar, engineers will sit there with a rubber ducky by them and talk to it about what they're working on until they figure out what they need to do. sometimes, just ranting about the fic is enough to help you spawn ideas about what to do next.

OH also

6. If you do end up making a timeline? Have a calendar on hand.

this is no longer 100% accurate to the progression of splinters and the chapters, but it helped a LOT. laying it out like this can make one hell of a difference. im a visual person, so doing this helped. also, can help you keep track of holidays and shit. if you want to give your characters a day off from classes, check a school calendar for holidays. be like "uhhhherrrr yeah they're taking, uhhhh veteran's day off" yk

7. Write, but don't force it.

splinters doesn't have an actual updating schedule because i work on it at my own pace, and update once i finish a chapter. now, i usually finish chapters after a month, but i don't say it updates on x day. don't box yourself in unless you truly think you can handle it. some people are very good about schedules. i am horrible at them, bc ykw? LIFE HAPPENS.

when im in the mood, i write. i will sit for HOURS and just write. grab some snacks, maybe pop on some music, get a buddy to sit with you, but just go for it. sometimes, i'll pull a 25-10 method-- 25 minutes of writing with ten minutes of relaxing and bullshitting--and that helps me not burn out as quickly. but honestly, you cant always brute force it.

have i had to brute force it sometimes? yes. you will get stuck. it naturally happens. sometimes, a scene fucking sucks and you're like "i hate this scene but it HAS to be in there" (if it doesnt fuck that shit. throw it out. blegh) sometimes, you need to mix things up to make it more appealing to you, because i am of the belief that the readers can tell when you're not invested in a scene. if im writing a scene and its going slowly and i just want to get it done? the quality's going to go down, and i KNOW it. so, i evaluate. what do i need to do for this scene to work? can i add something to help? do i need to just rewrite the bastard and call it a day?

and sometimes? you can just go ahead and put a little "<'scene'>" in and move on. depending on how much your fic relies on that scene, that won't always work, but sometimes, you just gotta leave it and come back to it. you can also do that with certain dialogue/details. if you're trying to get your characters from point A to point B, don't shove them there if they run out of gas. make a detour, and see what happens.

eerrrrrrr yeah, i THINK that's the majority of the advice i can give? sorry that that's a lot, but uhhh hope it helps! :')

[sigmashuffle]

I have a question!! So I’m a long-time BSD enjoyer but I haven’t read nearly as much of the manga as I would like. I’ve seen all of the anime though, most of it multiple times through. I didn’t realize until looking at the comments on Danny Motta’s video at how much people fucking hate Fukuchi and his sword. Up until this point I’ve thought it’s cool as hell and he, along with the sword, bring something kinda new and fun to the series.

HOWEVER, I know BSD is FAR from perfect and there’s a lot of dumb shit that faithful manga readers have a better perspective on. Would you mind explaining why Fukuchi and the sword are such a sore point? I hope this isn’t too much to ask. I just really want to know.

Hi anon! Its not too much to ask at all!

Unfortunately the answer to that is best explained in the context of ALL the issues I have with the manga/show so... this is going to be v long... and im done giving this show more credit than it deserves but don't take it that seriously lol I hesitate to even consider my pov to be on par with the average manga reader but ig we'll see how my opinions hold up after i post

And disclaimer: I don't mind answering this but ONLY with the context that this is 100% my opinion (as of late, bsd as a whole has just been REALLY bugging me so im just gonna take this opportunity to explain my gripes since most of them apply to or tie greatly into fukuchi's character/design/motivations/development)

I simply don't want anyone to come for my head bc of anything I say here tho, bc I feel like I may disagree with a large portion of the fanbase but WITH THAT SAID...

***from this point forward there will be a few spoilers from s5e11***

Here are my gripes with BSD...

1. BSD and its "magic system"?

bsd powers suffer from what i like to call a "lack of scope"

granted this could be due to the fact the story isnt complete HOWEVER im sure any anime fan can tell you this story doesnt feel like it is leading anywhere its just... going... (ill get to the awful pacing later)

for comparison sake im going to also talk about The Case Study of Vanitas since it is the world I have the most experience in

what does BSD not have that VNC does?

simply put, the magic system doesnt reinvent itself character to character

in VNC if you have an ability it is EXCLUSIVELY connected to "manipulations of the world formula" which is essentially elemental control (fire, ice, gravity, etc.) based on a sci fi version of chemistry (alchemy, if you will) and this rule applies to EVERY CHARACTER in VNC

its a structure that starts developing from the beginning

BSD however introduces a WHOLE NEW magic system for each character

some character abilities are similar, yes, and can be classified as such, but many cannot be classified

again a magic system doesnt NEED to have strict rules (its actually more boring that way if the rules are too simple) but it DOES need RULES... and solid ones

otherwise its tempting to use the MAGIC system to fill in PLOT RELATED gaps

and if that system isnt defined, well, to me that looks like lazy/sloppy/illogical writing

if you like the whiplash of not knowing whats gonna happen next, fine, (i did for awhile too!) up until the unpredictability started to come from powers that as a whole look like an authors way of trying to write themselves out of their own plot hole

ie: time travel

specifically time travel that isnt introduced FROM THE BEGINNING...

2. Fukuchi and his "deus ex machina" sword

time travel is NOTORIOUSLY difficult to pull off and especially by my standards

I have watched Doctor Who since 2008, before I even knew what tumblr was I was doing my own solo fandom stuff (basically just watching a LOT of youtube video essays) but basically I have high standards when it comes to time travel in stories

Amenogozen has the POTENTIAL to be a great weapon if used in a logical context... but theres one thing the sword (and BSD as a whole) does not follow

RULES

time travel is TRICKY mostly bc it has consequences... in BSD fukuchi gives nothing in exchange for his powers

lets even toss time travel aside for the moment

what is Fukuchi's innate special ability? Mirror Lion... (read below)

its essentially an attack multiplier of x100 at CLOSE RANGE

lets say your average untrained human punch is 150psi (pounds per square inch) which is the pressure equivalent of a point 100m below the surface of the ocean...

with Mirror Lion's multiplier you get 15,000psi which would be 10,000m or 10 kilometers

a pressure equivalent to the deepest part of the ocean (i dont need to remind you how powerful water is... we all know about oceangate)

MY POINT IS HE'S OVERPOWERED AS FUCK

dont even get me started on his motivations too

im glad we got backstory for him in ep 11 and im sure we are just supposed to sum up his motivations into "he was willing to pay the high price for world peace" but tbh royally fuck that

dont TELL me thats what he believes

PROVE to me how you made that conclusion

also the only reason he even dies is becasue he wants fukuzawa to kill him... we dont have any sense of accomplishment for stopping his scheme because NOW the scheme has been PLOPPED right into fukuzawa's lap which fukuchi intended to do from the start... apparently

and this seemingly retroactive decision-making is a problem A LOT of bsd characters have, especially the one and only character i hate THE MOST... *drumroll*

3. Osamu fucking Dazai

oh boy...

I have thought long and hard about Dazai... im not going to lie, after ch109 and ep10 I was about to admit Dazai might actually have grown on me BUT

this was all erased after 6 minutes into ep11 when he was confirmed to indeed NOT be dead

Dazai just *knows* everything thats gonna happen

Chuuya was never a vamp... he knew this... and somehow his ENTIRE escape plan was just hinging on that? bc yknow... hE kNeW fRoM tHe bEgiNniNg

OSAMU DAZAI IS A PLOT DEVICE USED *ONLY* TO FILL IN NARRATIVE HOLES

HE IS A WAY TO FORCE PROGRESS ON A STORY WITHOUT EVER GIVING A REAL EXPLANATION

HIS CHARACTER IS AN INSULT TO INTELLIGENCE

His character is paper thin, with motivations that do not translate to his actions

and frankly... im tired of it...

additionally... if sigma doesn't survive, all of Meursault was literally useless... so why pick him for nikolai's prison break game?

even if he does, it means the ONLY thing we get out of the arc is information about fyodor... as to WHAT information, who knows... but regardless, a villain arc that has been going on for TOO GODDAMN LONG (40 chapters?) should have a resolution that isnt "i knew what was gonna happen all along"

we spent the whole time being SHOWN that fyodor and dazai were of equal intelligence levels... or at least higher than what dazai was used to dealing with

if dazai could just predict shit like this from the beginning why was fyodor a villain for so long? makes ZERO sense, dazai would've defeated him AGES ago... what makes THIS time any different?

also... why is he even suicidal? yeah ok the author was... but like... why make it such a present character trait?... so we can fake kill him over and over? idk

can you tell i dislike him?

4. THEORY vs PRACTICE

I am a "show dont tell" girlie

ALL BSD DOES IS "TELL TELL TELL" ...its infuriating

almost every power/special ability has an element of "trust me bro" ok SOME OF THEM DONT but most of them do

ie: atsushi is a tiger (what does that even mean), kenji gets strong when he's angry (ok hulk?), and THIS JUST IN we STILL don't know how fyodor's ability works... and now he's DEAD?... we also dont know almost any detail about sigma's ability and he might ALSO be dead

but thats only regarding abilities...

when it comes to writing stories using people of high intelligence it is VERY difficult to not get into the aforementioned "trust me bro" mindset which BSD does REPEATEDLY

im not listing off every example but off the top of my head is one scene from s4...

ranpo explains his plan for saving yosano loosely involved "replacing the engine [of an armored vehicle] with an electric motor and playing engine sounds over the speakers so no one noticed" ...and only i can pick this claim to shreds lol (i engineer electric vehicles for a living) but this is so wrong on so many levels...

Internal combustion engines and Electric motors are IN NO WAY EQUIVALENT

ranpo would never be able to power a vehicle the size of an armored truck with a motor that he installed an hour before the truck was put to use... he just wouldnt... the vehicle is too big... ugh *facepalm*

and dont even get me started on batteries...

MY POINT IS

if you want to write some *genius move* at least TRY to do some research to make the action believable

thats like saying "oh yeah i ran out of gas so a threw a couple AA batteries into my gas tank until i could make it to the station"

BUT THAT WOULDNT FLY BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE KNOW THATS NOT HOW CARS WORK

*sigh*

5. Manga Readers' POV

the.chapters.are.too.short

especially for a monthly released manga

i am relatively new to anime and manga... like late 2020, so I am part of the "new gen" I guess you could say so i know i dont have any right to complain about pacing in comparison to like... the dressrosa arc of One Piece

with that said, not enough in bsd BUILDS on itself

it all feels like a self "one-up"

its been too long since any of my large questions have been answered

honestly its rare that any of my questions are ever answered because the narrative rarely follows logical progression anyway and any scenes thats ARE useful are cut from the anime

characters do not *develop* their powers, they just simply ARE

whatever ability you are born with limits what you can do and thats that... which leads me to...

6. Types of Ability Users

the most coherent thing i think i can speak on so this will be short lol

there are 3 types... i think (excluding lightnovels, i have not read 15, Stormbringer, or any others)

(1) natural abilities (ones that can be nullified by dazai or stolen like in Dead Apple)

(2) human/god fusions (chuuya) -> but this can ALSO be nullified???

(3) when an ability isnt an ability (it CANT be nullified) -> ie: whatever the fuck Lovecraft is

Sigma -> ??? (he could be part of the natural ability category but like... it feels weird to put him there)

but... there is never a comparison between these types so im not even sure of this "list" is exhaustive

this is just another way the story is leaving open ways to dig itself out of a plot hole... which isnt fun... bc now there are no stakes... there are no rules... its disorganized chaos where anything can happen

everyone will always be fine because there is a way out of everything

and thats BORING... and for me, downright infuriating

fukuchi likely falls into the first category... but then again he's also using a tool from another ancient ability user... so does he even fit there?

7. Anime Adaptation

rushed

rushed

RUSHED

and i know why...

BSD is so thin on STABLE plot the story would feel like its dragging if Bones wasn't animating at the pace they are (see Manga Readers' POV)

so to try and counteract the feeling that nothing is happening they are cutting "irrelevant" scenes BUT ALSO important portions relevant ones (ie: aku's death)

do all the plot points from the manga happen? by definition, yes... but the nuance the manga has is lost almost entirely

Atsushi doesn't physically throw an injured Aku's arm over his shoulders... Aku doesn't smile upon his demise... Aku doesn't reach out through the fog of the fire extinguisher (the adaptation of this scene was personally my last straw)

and then we have the new anime content...

why did we tack on an additional fight? zero context... didn't even tie up loose ends from fukuchi like...

is sigma alive?

are chuuya/dazai/nikoali still in france? europe?

is fyodor going to return in some way? (we know nothing of his motives, ability, or MOST importantly, what information did he learn from Sigma??? his ability is an EXCHANGE so why even have that happen if they are both dead anyway?) why would you fucking kill off a character like this

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS ENTIRE ARC??? The mere reason I'm asking this question is, in and of itself, unacceptable

we MAY get an answer later... but its been 20 episodes... why the fuck dont we know anything about the arc we just completed? ...ludicrous

Final Thoughts

BSD does not have enough reliable rules in its magic system to form a solid foundation of... anything

Fukuchi is a disjointed character trying to do too many things at once, he doesn't have solid motivations, and his arc provides more questions than it answers

Osamu Dazai is not a character... he is a plot device used like a saving throw in DND

BSD frequently insults my intelligence to cover it's ass in its storytelling

being a manga reader is like taking 30 days to rip off a tiny band aid... the pacing is unbearable

even with the end of fukuchi's arc now known, there was no sense of accomplishment in defeating him bc technically we didnt… he gave himself up... so the sword was just to make him overpowered... it was pointless

the anime adaptation was rushed, scenes cherry picked, and plot narratively thinned into water... there was no depth this season

In my opinion...

There are very few redeeming characteristics about BSD now

The few meaningful scenes we do get in the manga are overwritten by later context that negates any emotion initially associated with the scene

even with the end of fukuchi's arc now known, there was no sense of accomplishment in defeating him bc technically we didnt... he gave himself up

Dazai is the worst written character I have ever read

It is very likely i drop this story entirely

If I seem salty/upset/etc. its because I am. However is NOT directed at you, it is simply a manifestation of my disappointment in this story.

...

And there you have my opinion... in way too many words... thanks for sticking around if you made it this far im impressed bc i am salty as hell lol

fin

[bones-and-bondage]

The first time I cleared Act 3 of BG3, I was playing as the Dark Urge and I went into it totally blind. I went in with 0 spoilers, no interaction with the community at all, no looking up resources or guides, nothing.

Because of this, I had some really weird holes in my experience and my already simmering distaste for how flippant the party was about the Dark Urge and their actions and struggle full blossomed into rage.

My first Durge never got the Coronation scene with Gortash. I got to Wyrm's Rock Fortress and the Steel Watchers were all saying to go to the Coronation chamber and immediately all my alarm bells were going off. THIS IS A TRAP.

It felt so much like Irenicus leading us into the prison of the Cowled Wizards to continue his experiments. I was convinced that I was going to be ambushed or thrust into combat with one of the BBEGs that I was in no way prepared for so early into Act 3.

And so I walked my ass straight through that bridge and out the other side and didn't ascend to see the Coronation. I had no clue about what Gortash says and does in that scene, and being that it was a first playthrough and I was flying through it in a stumbling haze and not scouring for everything, I had no clue about the Durge's involvement in the plot, in their connection to anything, any of it.

By that point, before the big reveal dream with Bhaal, I had figured out that the Durge was at the very least Bhaalspawn. I love the original games too much and spotted those signs early on. But beyond that, I was in the dark.

So I, hyperfocused on the fact that Bhaal wanted the Durge to reclaim their temple, of which they were long standing high priest, I waltzed my happy ass to the Steel Watch Foundry and disabled them. Fought my way back into the Wyrm Rock Fortress since everyone is aggro at that point and obliterated Gortash in the coronation hall without a single bit of dialogue triggering. No fanfare or commentary from my party. Karlach said she was pissed she wasn't there for it, but would be fine if I just took her to see the body.

And then I did the Murder Tribunal-- shocked to see all the faces of the people I had to kill in Throne of Bhaal staring back at me, not to mention Saravok, whom I obliterated in the original Baldur's Gate, and then ABSOLUTELY REFUSED TO BRING BACK when the option was given in Throne of Bhaal because absolutely not (my Gorion's Ward was a Paladin struggling with nature vs nurture, which back in 2E days was a human and lawful good by requirements). I learned more about Orin, sacrificed Valeria, and moved on to the temple.

Orin's transformation into him, the face of my Durge, his voice, telling me all about Durge's roll in the Absolute plot, was the first I had heard of any of this, and as such, was the first time any of my companions had heard of it. It was just revealed to all of them that the Durge was born of Bhaal, that he was the head of the Bhaal Temple, that he was to blame for them all having tadpoles and this whole messy war on multiple fronts, and that he was here to reclaim his place as Bhaal's Chosen, not just to take Orin down.

Up to this point, everyone had just brushed off his murder of Alfira like it was nothing. They hadn't commented on his murder of Isobel and the destruction of Last Light. They didn't have much to say about him becoming the Slayer. None of them pushed him to struggle, to fight against it, to do better, be better. They just kept following him into the dark, and so by my reasoning, why would he struggle? It's his nature, after all, and no one has seen anything wrong with it, or at least hasn't voiced such discomfort to his face.

And with all that revealed? Did they have any commentary on it?

No. They didn't say a word.

No one had anything to say about it, and it was the singular point that absolutely broke my experience. It was the thing that made me pick up a notebook and seriously start writing again, after almost 10 years of not writing. I was so angry I wanted to do it right, to do it justice, BECAUSE NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD JUST STAND THERE WHEN THE VILLAIN OF THEIR CURRENT ENTIRE EXISTENCE WAS JUT REVEALED TO HAVE BEEN SLEEPING FEET AWAY FROM THEM AND BREAKING BREAD WITH THEM EVERY NIGHT FOR THE PAST MONTH.

I have since done other Durge runs. I have gone through the coronation. I've picked up the broken pieces of them scattered across the Shadowed Lands to the crypts of Baldur's Gate and still, AND STILL, the lack of reaction, the lack of care, it gets to me.

This could have been so much better.

[whatcha-reading-today]

Hello Beautiful | Ann Napolitano

I read this as it's appeared on multiple best of lists including GoodRead's most read books of the last five years, and I absolutely hated it.

The plot

The plot is apparently based on or pulls from Little Women. I'm sorry, I see so little of LW that I'm confused by the attribution. The plot here is loosely that four sisters, close in age and in familiar bonds draw apart over time, especially because of an absolutely boring man. They eventually talk again after one of the sisters dies. That's it. Yes, the story takes place over forty some odd years, but with no connection to clear characters with any kind of clear motivation, the story just falls flat. I think there could have been some really interesting conversations here about different kinds of family dynamics and the impact of time on our relationships but this rang so hollow and missed any sort of landing.

The Writing

I don't like Napolitano's writing. I found her writing simplistic and direct with clear telling of how each character felt about everything. When William said he was sad, Julia felt sad. Ok? Write a description, does Julia's face turn down in sorrow? Or is she disgusted and confused in relation to the type of upset she's feeling? I also found the pacing bizarre. There were clear sections that felt like rough draft outlines where we zoom through months or years of time with just descriptions of what happened. I read a book a few years ago that felt similar in style to this that focused on familial relationships throughout the duration of the Civil War. I can't remember the title but what I do remember is we watch a few families grow and change particularly in their relationships to each other around slavery, trade, enterprise, and rights. The book was about 700 or so pages long and so had space to really flesh out how and why everyone held their particular positions which I think was deeply beneficial to understanding every character. I feel that Napolitano wrote a book that is a simulacrum of that idea. Yes it was significantly shorter, but the characters suffered and didn't feel like they changed or grew over forty years.

Lack of character growth

As stated in the writing section, none of the characters really grow or change. William always loved basketball and is quiet, Julia is a bitch apparently the whole time, Rose is selfish. The twins are there. People change over the course of a few years let alone over decades. We see none of that as the reader.

Lack of LGBT representation

One of the twin girls is a lesbian. We are told this and see the sister on page once in the middle of the book. Her supposed love interest, who is named, never appears on page and never says anything. This felt like a pathetic attempt at being woke without doing any real work. I also have to say the comparison between the (spoiler) fact that one sister marries another sister's husband and being a lesbian is frankly a disgusting comparison.

Let's call it a 'twist'

I think the big shocking twist is that Julia, our FMC towards the start of the book marries William, a man who was good at basketball in high school but injured his knee and would never play as well again. They meet in college and Julia who we are told is smarter than William, marries him hoping he one day will be a smart professor dude. Within a year, Julia becomes pregnant and realizes oh shit William didn't want this nor is he good at being a dad. William in response tries to drown himself, survives, and TWIST/SPOILER ends up with Julia's younger sister for the rest of their lives.

This to me is such a strange twist and is positioned that Julia is the problem here. Which seems wrong? Yes, Julia and her sisters constantly tell us that she was more into the idea of who William could become and not who he is now and that's never good to put such pressure on your partner but...and stay with me here. Both characters are 21ish-25ish when this baby, grad school, busted knee, suicide attempt, etc happen. Both parties are at fault. Julia never should have put such pressure on William, but William should have expressed himself at any point. This latter point is especially pertinent because when Sophie (or whatever her name is, I have the book next to me and finished it yesterday and I frankly can't be bothered to check) dies, William still doesn't have his shit together. If we're going to map people over years of their lives they should change, or express regret or something.

Who is this book for?

So, is this the worst book I've ever read? No, not by a long shot. It however did not appeal to me as a reader in any capacity. I do think that there is an entire generation of women who this would appeal to. There is a lot of talk around societal expectations that women are domestic, have children, etc. And that I think was the reality in the 80-90s, so seeing it here may bring comfort or stir up conversation in that generation of women married in those years. But for me, I expect way more from a man and found the focus just so basic.

Format: Physical copy

Read in: October 2024

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

The worst part about polling is that I’m rarely able to answer simple questions with simple answers. Hence why I wrote an entire essay about your question instead.

This post has some vague spoilers for Yellowjackets Season 1, but it’s honestly so vague I’d struggle to call it a spoiler. I list a few examples of media where people die, but I do it in such vague terms that nothing is actually said.

My reaction to death in media really depends. A lot of my favorite fics are all very comedic, and would use an unexpected death as a source for a lot of jokes. Macabre humor, very Addams family style. I wouldn’t care much, and the character might even come back as a ghost later in the story.

I don’t think that’s quite what you’re asking about.

Death is a complicated thing when it comes to writing. It’s the ultimate tragedy, it’s the ending of a character’s journey.

Written poorly, death feels arbitrary. It feels like something that happened because the author ran out of ideas.

(I have to confess to using death to cut a story short, but that was for a class project that had a due date. I simply couldn’t spend another fifty hours working on the project, there wasn’t time for that).

Used well, death feels purposeful. It can wreck you emotionally. A death can be the entire point of the work, written into fate from the moment the characters were first on the page.

Sometimes, though, a death isn’t the best option for dramatic effect. There are many tales of tragedy or horror that end on fates far worse than death. Orpheus doesn’t die at the end of Hadestown, but I am still wrecked by his fate. Some of the most haunting episodes of Twilight Zone end in a purgatory of endless suffering.

When it comes to Ao3, I don’t usually go for longer works that focus on slow-burn drama. That’s not my cup of tea. For my beloved handful of longer dramatic pieces I am subscribed to, the death of a major supporting character would be a step of growth for the main character. I’d be intrigued on how the author intends to write through the process of grief.

It feels almost instinctual for a writer to place a death at the end of a story- death can be more interesting placed at the beginning or somewhere in the middle. Does a characters death mark raising stakes (Yellowjackets S1E10 does this really well, but it’s also a plot point in most slasher horror films.)? Perhaps it’s the inciting incident for a revenge plot (I’m pretty sure this is the plot of John Wick, but I haven’t seen it). Perhaps it’s the death of the home they once knew, giving them no choice but to journey in a different direction (Star Wars, Lion King). Perhaps the death of a companion is the consequence of a main characters foolishness, a permanent reminder to not make the same mistakes again (this is in a book about wizards, I just can’t remember what it’s called right now. It’s also Yellowjackets S1E10). That last one is a bit delicate. The entire point is that the death is preventable, which might be aggravating for people.

Naturally, some people may not like media that features death. Some people might not like intense dramatic stakes. I’m one of these people sometimes. After a long day at work, I don’t want the emotional stress of being absolutely wrecked by tragedy.

If I’m in that mood, I don’t seek out content that would come near featuring death. I read fluffy comedies. It would be a massive tone shift to have a death played seriously in any sort of fluffy comedy piece- imagine if Phineas and Ferb had Candice die. That would break the plot. The piece would probably have to shift forever, no longer able to continue like those deaths didn’t happen. It would take a lot of good writing to return to a fluffy comedy after a death. It’s possible- the Simpsons has had multiple deaths- but it would be nearly impossible if it’s a major character (which is why they can’t kill off Homer Simpson).

No one is paying you to write fanfiction. You don’t have to conform to any sort of expectations. If you want to kill off every character to make a point, then do it. Who cares what your audience thinks? You’re making art. Sometimes the purpose isnt just to make people happy. Sometimes, characters have to die. Sacrifice your characters for the art.

[mr-glove]

Massive lore/plot info dump

The reason why I'm doing this is if I don't put this out I feel like the [REDACTED] in my head will get me

And my mind having ADHD + autism and making up stories as it does. It started very small but than it spiraled into something that I just couldn't keep in my head anymore. So what's this long term AU about?

The full series will be called "The princess and the pirate"

The first thing is that I wanted this AU to span over a long period of time and games [tho I have the tendence to switch from game to game and story to not get bored] and I know ½ Genie Hero is suppose to be a soft reboot but it has a lot of potential if it took place in the same time-line. Also I want to write Shantae having multiple "phases" in her relationship with Risky.

And now for a little synopsis. Shantae 1-3 (even tho 2 hasn't come out yet) I will not write that, maybe in the far of future I will write it as a (doomed) prequal like the Star wars epsidodes. But the important part is at the end of Revenge Shantae discovers something about herself.

6 months later, ½ way through Pirates Curse Shantae and Risky WILL do the dirty deed (R18+). And at the end of it Shantae and Risky decide to keep their relationship a secret from everyone.

Now after that Shantae and Risky will go on adventures behinds Shantae's friends back, the Genie With 2 Lifes (GW2L) volume. This wil have 13 arcs spread over 1 year. And it includes as Shantae visiting Risky's new island, going on a few raids with her, finding genie artifacts and of course the Valentine special and more. Shantae will also gain the new transformations seen in ½ Genie Hero and a original one. I want to write a reason how and why/how Shantae has those in the ½ Genie Hero game.

Now ½ Genie Hero (½gh). It will start near the couples anniversary but thanks to [REDACTED for spoilers] it's get interupted and their relationship goes public with all the effects that fallow. It will also have some changes, including 2 defectors, 1 "level" removed and replaced with 2-3 new locations, a new/original transformation, a little glimps about Risky's past and don't worry, Shantae will get her well deserved anniversary gift.

Now I didn't want for 7 Sirens to take immidiatley after ½ Genie hero. I wan to give the 2 some breathing room about that they don't need to hide anymore. This shorter volume the 2 will meet a silver haired hunter and give Shantae another original transformation. More pirate gear and [REDACTED]

7 Sirens is a bit of a road block for me both because I haven't played it in a long time nor finished it but I want to make sure that this adventure is just the couple having a realy weird first vacation together

Now there is a gap because I don't know if Wayforward is gonna make another/more Shantae game(s) in the future so I'll skip it for now and go the Future parts of my AU [again I tend to jump form arc to arc to not get bored]

Shantae Future: and of course I want Shantae and Risky to get married, but let's just say that the honeymoon got an unexpected extension and after that the couple will have to deal with a bun in the oven.

I even have some drafts ideas for the next Generation. Including Shantae's ½ genie daughter and her friends going on their own adventures. Like at the age of 10 she sneaks out of the house to find a genie artifact or at the age of 13 going to my version of Africa

[kmix91]

What do you get…

When you have an overactive imagination + too many ideas on your hands + a computer…?

Answer: too many stories to write and not enough time.